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Day 11 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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15 Replies
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Subject line: Roscoe’s – Dramatic Reveals
What I learned is.? This helps with with overall truth. I was wondering when I could reveal the mystery of my villain. Dramatically of course. I’m working on reveals for rest of thriller map.
Reveal 1:
Suspense: The dark night. The driver side of vehicle bashed in.
Intrigue: A single car crash.
Mystery: It looks like an accident.
Mystery: The car flipped over only once.
Reveal: Members of a Navajo family.
Reveal 2:
Intrigue: The tribal cop comes from the Indian Reservation to investigate.
Mystery: Why is the County sheriff afraid.
Intrigue: The tribal cop is told he’s on his own with no county help.
Intrigue: Crime scene. Traditional Navajo people sing cultural songs.
Reveal: The tribal cop knows the “Tso” family who were killed.
Reveal 3:
Mystery: Tribal cop wonders why the dent in car is huge.
Mystery: Why are animal tracks larger than normal at crime scene?
Mystery: Why isn’t the sister Gabby Tso with her family?
Intrigue: Tribal cop follows big tracks until they disappear.
Reveal: Tribal cop confesses to partner that Gabby Tso is his ex-wife.
Reveal 4:
Suspense: A black wolf with “red eyes” follows Tribal cop to Gabby’s house.
Intrigue: Cedar ash has been spread in a cricle around Gabby’s home.
Mystery: Why is wolf afraid of the cedar ash circle?
Reveal: Tribal cop interviews Gabby who says a Navajo skinwalker/witch is following her.
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Hey Roscoe! Being left-handed I do things backwards. I am starting with the reveals then creating coverups to mislead the reader.
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Emmanuel Sullivan’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned is dropping reveals throughout each act keeps the viewer engaged and thinking forward about what’s to come. A reveal is a great addition to mystery, intrigue and suspense.
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Great idea Emmanuel. Give away some reveals which are actually coverups for a bigger reveal.
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Kathy’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned is I can add in another plot twist at any time. I may add another. My reveals work.
ASSIGNMENT:
A. What is the reveal?
B. How did it get covered up?
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
1. The first scene shows Ben’s ex-wife, Betsy Conner, in a wheelchair at the airport, checking in for a flight to Portugal. We see her name on her passport. She tells both the gate agent and Simone that she is not coming back. She has a cast on her left leg. On the way to security, she drops her passport and Simone, who is there to greet Ben, picks it up. Simone doesn’t see her name on the passport.
A. What is the reveal? A woman is in a wheelchair, can’t walk, is injured.
B. How did it get covered up? She doesn’t say why she is hurt. The audience knows her name but Simone doesn’t.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? She warns Simone that it could happen to her. Why did she say this?
2. Ben, a business associate, charms Simone into having dinner with him.
3. Ben takes her to the botanic garden.
4. Ben looks at her house, an expansive MCM on a big lot worth over a million.
5. He takes Simone and her son Josh to a nice Italian restaurant.
6. 6 months later he proposes and she accepts. (inciting incident)
A. What is the reveal? Ben proposes.
B. How did it get covered up? He has a secret agenda.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Why did a man with the same last name as the lady in the wheelchair marry Simone?
7. He has her sign a pre-nup. He tells Simone it’s about his business but he has added a sentence that says if she dies before Josh is 18, then Ben gets the house so he can care for him.
8. On the honeymoon, Simone finds a cryptic note of Ben’s, “call M about closing”. Ben says it’s nothing but it is a note about a past house closing that he did with Marcie.
9. Josh thinks Ben is buttering him up since he is always so nice.
10. Simone talks to her friend Beth about finding a mortgage statement. Ben and Betsy Conner are on the loan. Simone knows that Ben lied to her about the closing.
A. What is the reveal? Simone finds the statement with both names on it.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben hid it.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Ben lied.
11. Ben and Simone have a fight.
12. Ben secretly rips up her will.
A. What is the reveal? Ben gets angry about Simone’s will.
B. How did it get covered up? Shows his hidden anger about the scheme to get her house, hasn’t worked.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
13. They go to Thanksgiving dinner at his cousin Emily’s who tells Simone that Ben was a bully as a child and had 2 short previous marriages. Two marriages and 2 divorces in 2 years. ( turning point one, a major twist)
A. What is the reveal? Ben had 2 previous marriages.
B. How did it get covered up? He lied.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Emily spills the beans.
14. They talk about taxes. Simone kneels at his feet. Ben says he will pay them.
15. They go to a convention on the Ga. coast. Simone is tired so she goes to sleep. Ben meets Marcie, his lover, who tells Ben that she will take care of Simone. ( page 36)
A. What is the reveal? Marcie is also in on the scheme.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben keeps her a secret. Marcie won’t meet Simone until act 3.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Audience knows but Simone doesn’t.
16. Marcie hits Simone with a metal tennis racquet. Simone falls, has a concussion, needs stitches, remembers nothing.
A. What is the reveal? Marcie injures Simone.
B. How did it get covered up? She will hurt Simone to get what she wants.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
17. Back home, Ben leaves and doesn’t give Simone any money.
18. Beth suggests that Simone investigate Ben.
19. Simone drives to Savannah and surprises Ben in his office. He scrambles to hide Marcie’s photo. After Simone leaves, he calls Marcie and tells her to get her stuff out of his condo.
20. Beth finds the ex-wives, calls Simone. Simone finds out that Ben lied to her. His first wife didn’t die. She is the lady in a wheelchair that Simone met at the airport. (pg.48)
A. What is the reveal? Beth finds the ex-wives.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben lied to Simone.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The lady left the country, but why?
21. In Ben’s condo, Simone finds a gun. Ben aims it at her and pulls the trigger. It isn’t loaded. He scares her.
A. What is the reveal? Ben can shoot Simone.
B. How did it get covered up? He won’t reveal his feelings.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
22. While Simone sleeps, Ben meets Marcie. He tells her about the pre-nup. Marcie says Simone could be in an accident.
A. What is the reveal? The pre-nup contents are revealed.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben lied to Simone.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Marcie plots violence
A. What is the reveal? Marcie is determined to get rid of Simone and get the money.
B. How did it get covered up? Marcie is Ben’s secret partner.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Will Marcie do it?
23. Simone wakes up, rummages through Ben’s desk, takes 2 CD’s. Simone tours Savannah the next day. Tells Beth she found 2 CD’s.
(added another scene where Ben loosens the bolts on Simone’s car. Car goes off the road on the way home. Simone OK, thinks the mechanic accidentally didn’t tighten the bolts at her last wheel alignment.)
24. Back home, Beth opens the CD’s. They find AmEx bills for expensive restaurants, women’s phone numbers and pictures of their houses. The women think that Ben has been having many affairs. (midpoint: A major revelation. The opposition is 10 times worse than thought.)
A. What is the reveal? Women and houses are Ben’s goals.
B. How did it get covered up? He kept it a secret. Deception.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The women think Ben is having affairs, don’t think anything else.
25. Simone cuts up Ben’s clothes.
26. Simone and Beth call a woman’s number. Rhonda Stevens tells them that Ben tried to get her house as a wedding present.
A. What is the reveal? Houses are mixed up in the scheme.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben kept it secret.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Simone breaks down in tears. She still doesn’t believe that Ben is such a bad husband.
27. They call Ben’s ex-wife, Nancy Edwards, who lives in Atlanta. They drive to her house. Nancy tells them that Ben conned her out of her house and threatened her father.
A. What is the reveal? Ben is worse than they thought.
B. How did it get covered up? They didn’t know Nancy. Ben kept it a secret.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Did Ben really do these things?
28. Beth says Ben has 2 personalities and needs a doctor.
29. Simone and Beth confront Ben, tell him they know about his women, tell him he goes to therapy or Simone divorces him.
A. What is the reveal? Now Ben knows that the women know.
B. How did it get covered up? They needed to do research.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The women give him an ultimatum.
30. Marcie tells Ben that she has a plan that will speed things up.
31. Ben and Simone argue in the therapist’s office. Ben apologizes to Simone.
32. Montage of Ben and Simone sleeping apart, talking to the therapist.
33. A month later, a car, driven by a woman in a red dress, grazes Simone. (TURNING POINT 2: Major setback, lowest of the low, pg. 70) Beth meets her in the hospital. Simone tells Beth she saw a woman driving who wore a red dress. The detective says the car was stolen, is registered to a man in Atlanta.
A. What is the reveal? Marcie really did hurt Simone.
B. How did it get covered up? Audience knows Marcie drove the car, Simone doesn’t.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Who is the driver?
34. Ben takes Simone to a fancy restaurant and apologizes. Says all the women were before her and that he loves her.
35. Simone tells Beth that the car was stolen and hasn’t been found yet. She says Ben is a changed man, he’s putting money into their account, that Ben’s wife Betsy was crazy. Wife #2 Nancy lied to get back at him and her dad wasn’t threatened, he says crazy stuff, has Altzheimers. Simone is delusional to the end.
36. Ben wants Simone to visit him in Savannah. Beth is worried. Simone says, “It’s a tour? What could go wrong?”
37. Simone, without a cast, meets Ben at the Savannah airport. He calls Marcie, tells her the cast is gone. She says she’ll deal with Simone.
38. Ben tells Simone that the boat is not a tour boat, it is a friend’s boat. He doesn’t tell her Marcie is the owner.
39. At the marina, Simone sees “HASHTAG”, a 35 foot sailboat with a mast, 7 small windows, a deck with benches, and a large wooden wheel for steering. A hatch leads to the main cabin. Chrome railing encircles the vessel. On board, Simone meets Marcie, who Ben introduces as a colleague. Marcie says, “I’m sure we’ll become great friends“, which is a lie.
40. They cast off and motor into the Wilmington River. Simone goes into the cabin, calls Beth, tells her she is not on a tour, is sailing to St. Simons Island, and Marcie is on the boat. Beth is worried, tells Simone to call her when she gets to St. Simons.
41. Ben hoists the mainsail up. When it is full of wind, Marcie spins the wheel. The sail deflates. Ben swings the boom and the boat veers to the left. Simone screams, grabbing the railing as she falls. The boom narrowly misses her head. Ben secures the boom rigging to a cleat, says “nice jibe,” to Marcie.
A. What is the reveal? Marcie continues to try to hurt Simone.
B. How did it get covered up? She doesn’t say why she wants to.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
42. Simone goes into the cabin, finds a first aid kit, bandages her knee, sips a beer, finds a gun in a cabinet. Looks in a bin, finds makeup, a bra, panties, and a red dress, looks in another bin, finds a logbook for the boat, opens it, Marcie’s name is on the first page as the owner.
A. What is the reveal? Marcie owns the boat.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben lied to Simone.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Who owns the gun? Why did Ben lie about the boat?
43. Simone calls Beth but no answer. Simone goes up to the deck. Waits for sunset.
44. Simone goes back into the cabin, calls Beth, tells her that Marcie owns the boat and spun the wheel, almost knocking her down. Beth says to get off the boat asap, doesn’t trust either Ben or Marcie.
45. After dinner Ben walks off with Marcie, who wears a red dress, leaving Simone alone to shop.
46. Back on the boat, Simone drops her shopping bags and calls Beth who says she is nervous about the gun, asks “who owns it?” Simone agrees to get a hotel room.
47. Simone packs her bag and sees that the gun is missing. She’s looking for it as Ben and Marcie stagger onto the deck. Ben comes into the cabin. (start of the CLIMAX) He’s drunk, starts a fight, binds Simone’s hands, socks her. She plays dead.
A. What is the reveal? Ben will hurt Simone.
B. How did it get covered up? He hasn’t hit her before. This is unexpected behavior.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
48. He grabs her cell and goes up the steps. Back on the deck, he tosses her phone overboard. Ben starts releasing the lines. Marcie’s afraid of getting caught. Ben starts the engine and they move away from the dock. He stomps back downstairs to the cabin.
49. Simone plays dead. Ben and Marcie head to the bedroom and shut the door. Simone tries to free her hands then heads up to the deck.
50. Simone elbows the hatch doors shut. She spots the tackle box, kneels, turns around on her knees, and fingers the lock. It pops open. She fingers a knife and uses it to slowly cut the rope around her wrists. It parts. She puts the metal crab net through the doors.
51. Simone turns to the radio next to the wheel, talks to the marine operator who tells her to turn on the running lights. She does. A white light from the mast spotlights the boat. A green light is on the right side and a red light is on the left side. A white stern light illuminates the water around the rear platform.
52. Ben notices the lights. As he kicks the doors, Simone says, “Operator, help. My husband is trying to kill me. There’s a gun on the boat…….somewhere.”
A. What is the reveal? Simone finally admits Ben is trying to kill her.
B. How did it get covered up? She has been in denial.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? violence
53. Intercut between Ben and Simone. He sees her through a hatch, and starts shooting. She’s talking to the marine operator but has to drop the microphone and run.
54. Simone climbs above the door as Ben shoots through the crab net handle. It splits and he opens the doors. She conks him on the head with a fire extinguisher and he falls back into the cabin onto Marcie.
55. The fire extinguisher rolls off the deck, through the railing, and disappears into the sea.
56. Simone shuts the doors again. She grabs a padlock from the tackle box and padlocks the doors.
57. She calls the marine operator again. The Coast Guard will be there in 10 min. Simone says, “I could be dead by then.”
58. Marcie shoots through the doors. Simone climbs to the bow. Marcie sees her, tells her Ben wants to apologize. Simone says, “I know you own the boat.” Marcie says the CG isn’t coming.
59. Simone calls the marine operator again, “send the CG”.
60. Shots come through the cabin doors. One grazes Simone, hitting in her left calf. Blood pours down her leg.
61. Ben’s head pops through the ceiling hatch. He sees Simone and shoots through the doors again, hitting the radio, which smolders. Simone climbs back on the deck. The radio is on fire.
62. Marcie sees the fire. Simone, toward the bow, turns, creeps back to the open hatch, and kicks the back of Marcie’s head, forcing her inside, then closes the hatch and stands on it’s edge. Shots go through the ceiling hatch. Simone jumps back. The hatch pops open.
63. Ben aims the gun at Simone, tells her to open the doors. She ducks in front of the doors where he can’t see her, spots the tackle box, grabs a big wrench, leaps up, and hits Ben on the head with the wrench.
64. Ben, gun in hand, falls into the cabin on top of Marcie. The gun hits her head. Both lie in a pile on the cabin floor.
65. Flames reach a canvas tarp covering the narrow deck under the starboard railing. The canvas catches on fire and the flames spread along the right side. Simone opens a storage box to the left of the cabin doors. She grabs a towel and tries to put out the flames but the towel catches on fire so she throws it overboard. A coil of rope on the deck catches fire.
66. Simone backs away from the flames and climbs onto the cabin roof. She walks along the railing until she is at the bow.
67. The flames along the tarp grow higher.
68. The mainsail edge blackens, smolders, then catches fire.
69. Simone holds onto the bow railing and stares into the depths. “I love you Josh.”
70. The CG arrives and extinguishes the flames. Ben and Marcie are handcuffed. The sailboat is towed to shore. The duo are jailed.
71. They go in front of a judge. Marcie confesses, “He was gonna con her out of her house like his other wives.” The judge tells Ben, “You gave your wife a passport to peril.”
A. What is the reveal? The scheme is revealed.
B. How did it get covered up? Ben lied throughout the whole marriage.
C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? Ben and Marcie finally get what they deserve: jail.
72. On an airliner, Simone sits next to a handsome French man. Two glasses of red wine are on the tray between them. “I divorced Ben a year ago. It’s taken this long to sell his condos. Versailles first or maybe the Louvre?” The man speaks, “Both are national treasures.” Simone: “My grandmother named me. She grew up on Guadeloupe and always wanted me to see Paris.” Man, “I’d love to see the Louvre again. I’m free on Friday.” She sips her wine and laughs. “Friday will be perfect.”
73. CLOSE ON: A PASSPORT STICKING OUT OF HER BAG.
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Subject line: Larry’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned form this exercise was how to sharpen up the mystery, intrigue and suspense elements to have more dramatic impact.
1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.
The backstory is that the pedophile ring has been in operation in Chicago up to 1961 and there has been a series of missing child cases. What happened in the past is not central to the story, with two exceptional circumstances. What is important is the revealing of the identities of all involved in the Ring. The mystery, suspense and intrigue revolves around the members of the Ring and the cracking of a child’s murder case. The revelations all come out in Act 3, the resolution and climax.
In no particular order,
Reveal #1: The kindly, dedicated, student-success-oriented superintendent is a hired cold-blooded psychopathic killer who procures pictures of children for the ring then disposes of the children.
Reveal #2: The police chief is part of the Ring.
Reveal #3: The court judge is the Ring leader
Reveal #4: The school principal is a ring member and key in identifying potential victims.
Reveal #5: School janitor was the superintendent’s first victim who survived attack and could now help identify him. He becomes a key in convincing the Hero-detective that the Red Herring teacher, convicted of killing a child, was not guilty.
2. Sequence them to fit into your Thriller Map.
This is tricky as the elements that lead to each reveal are intertwined. (Don’t worry; all will be “revealed” in the end.)
3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:
Reveal #1: Superintendent (the BIG one)
· A. What is the reveal?
He is a killer who has done in numerous children and out to kill the Hero and get more victims.
· B. How did it get covered up?
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He used guile, misdirection and a red herring to cover his tracks.
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Intrigue: the superintendent set up his teacher “friend” to take the rap for the murder of a child that the superintendent committed
Suspense: the superintendent ingratiates himself into the investigation of the teacher. Why so concerned?
Mystery: the superintendent lies bout past postings in different school districts. Why?
Suspense: when the Hero continues his investigation (after not being convinced the teacher is guilty) the superintendent tries to influence him to stop
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
The superintendent ultimately kidnaps the Hero’s son, using him as bait to lure the Hero into a trap and kill him. Now the connection is clear as to his true intents in acting as a superintendent
Reveal #2: The police chief
· A. What is the reveal?
The chief is part of the Ring.
· B. How did it get covered up?
He used his position to redirect/cover up any suspicions about Ring members and related activities (I may work something into the script for backstory with this guy.)
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Intrigue: The chief tries to stop the Hero from continuing his investigation (post teacher trial).
Intrigue: He hides evidence to thwart the Hero.
Intrigue: The chief poisons the superintendent.
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
The chief will be seen as part of the Ring.
Reveal #3: The court Judge
· A. What is the reveal?
The court judge is the Ring leader.
· B. How did it get covered up?
He has used his influence to cover up the Ring’s existence and the members’ identities.
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Intrigue: the judge railroads the trial of the teacher. Why?
Intrigue: the judge orders the superintendent to deter the Hero’s investigation. Why so important?
Intrigue: Later, the judge orders the superintendent to terminate the Hero. Why so important?
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
At the end of the movie, the Ring members believe they have succeeded in covering their identities.
Reveal #4: The school principal
· A. What is the reveal?
The principal is a Ring member.
· B. How did it get covered up?
The Ring protected his secret identity. (Still working on this detail.)
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Intrigue: At beginning, shows extreme fondness for children.
Intrigue: Suggests children as potential victims
Suspense: betrays Hero’s son to the superintendent
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
You realize he is on the ring when he betrays Hero’s son to the superintendent.
Reveal #5: The school janitor
· A. What is the reveal?
The janitor was the first victim, survived the superintendent’s attack, and could identify the superintendent.
· B. How did it get covered up?
The janitor suffered brain damage in the attack.
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Mystery: Can he help with the Hero’s investigation?
Suspense: Will he become a target of the superintendent?
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
The impact will be that the
information supplied by the janitor puts both he and the Hero at risk as the
identity of the superintendent could be compromised. -
Melanie’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned: This exercise revealed I don’t know much about reveals! Just when I thought I was getting the hang of things, here comes this wrench thrown into the mix. Seriously, need to work on these but here are some starters.
Reveals:
What happened between Vivienne and her ex-husband to make her hate him so? (Vivienne’s wound)
Cover-up: Vivienne never talks about it. Ever. Avoids the topic with daughter.
Demand: Natalie finds a box of baby boy things in the attic when her friends are over for a sleepover.
Reveal: Natalie confronts Vivienne in front of her friends, questioning her ability to tell the truth. Shows her the box of things. Vivienne breaks down finally revealing that she had a miscarriage brought on by the stress of her ex-husband cheating on her.
What happened to Vivienne’s car?
Cover-up: Vivienne’s car is hit in the middle of the night. No one saw it.
Demand: Vivienne wakes up in the morning to find the back of her sedan totaled. Possibly the kids in the neighborhood are behind it but it happens when everything around her is falling apart. She feels that she’s the target.
Reveal: When Vivienne walks up to her last session with Hugo, she sees a faint blue mark on his right fender -the same color as her car.
Why aren’t Vivienne’s meds helping?
Cover-up: Hugo prescribes them and continues to up the dosage, telling her everyone responds differently to meds.
Demand: After trying the new dosage, Vivienne’s heart rate sky-rockets and she has a panic attack. She calls a doctor friend to ask about the medication.
Reveal: The pills are a tricylcic antidepressant but the prescription is way over her correct dosage.
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Hey Melanie! I am dreaming in coverups and reveals lately. I actually see them in your comment:
coverup: “I was getting the hang of things.”
reveal: “I don’t know much about reveals.”
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Kathryn’s reveals
I learned the reveals themselves needed to be much more exciting. I also learned that places I thought were separate mysteries were clues from connecting mystery chains.
1)Mystery: Why didn’t the people show up to the rally?
suspense: people at the rally are falling down, seemingly dead!
intrigue: are these people okay?
suspense: will enough ambulances come in time?
reveal: they are getting sick with a virus
2)Why can’t Emily remember their anniversary?
Why wasn’t his wife with him?
intrigue: is the same thing wrong with her?
suspense: can he get to his wife through the crowd? Can he save her?
intrigue: why is she different?
reveal: She gets better after plugging herself into the outlet!
reveal: Emily is a robot!
3)What is making everyone sick?
reveal: a virus, that affects their technology! Their lights go out, Alexa’s talk, etc.
intrigue: was this engineered?
4)Where did this virus come from?
intrigue: people are sick for one week, then seemingly fine.
intrigue: Why does Max think the good dr can help?
intrigue: voting polls change, can it be related?
intrigue: they are changing in Max’s favor, is he being framed?
5)Who is the real Emily?
reveal: His wife died of cancer
6)Who is following Max?
reveal: Emily has put a tracking device in his anniversary watch!
7)Why doesn’t the other driver have any family?
intrigue: Dr. S is the only one at the funeral.
reveal: He’s been dead for two months!
8)Where is Max being taken?
intrigue: other paraplegics around him using “fake” limbs.
intrigue: inexplicable headaches, his Dr can’t treat—but Dr S can!
reveal: the equipment is really teaching his brain to work with a robot body!
9) Was the front funner murdered?
intrigue: Emily says he’ll be a great pres!
reveal: Dr. S’s plan is to get Max into the white house!
10) What is changing the voting pattern?
reveal: the virus is programed to change voting!
11) Does the opposing party have something to do with this?
Intrigue: opposing party funded rehab clinic
intrigue: Emily is the only one who had worked there the whole time
reveal: Emily is under master control of Dr. S!
12) Why were physical therapists the first one’s to get infected?
Intrigue: The good doc uses AI staff so they won’t get infected.
reveal: All the PI’s are AI!
13) Will Max resign?
suspense: Emily is targeted
suspense: Max is in a car crash:
suspense: Max is followed
intrigue: Emily is tracking Max
intrigue: Max is in a robot body, and his brain is dying!
reveal: Max has Emily make him a full on robot and addresses the audience as if he were human!
14) What does Emily have to do with the virus?
intrigue: Emily is able to overcome the “illness” with an outdate
intrigue: Emily can do the update herself
intrigue: the virus is the same as the one used to treat the original Emily!
intrigue: the virus mutated since Emily first used it.
intrigue: Dr. S has Emily’s file under-proto-type
reveal: original Emily was murdered!!
15) How did the good dr get sick?
intrigue: the virus he used mutated!
intrigue: the virus was controlled, but is now spreading!
intrigue: He only works with AI, and only under a hazmat suit.
suspense: The dr received a death threat to shut down his work!
intrigue: a vial is missing from the collection
intrigue: viral maps are found in the good Doc’s office
intrigue: Emily can access the viral maps
reveal: the viral maps are controlled by Dr. S
reveal: the dr was murdered by Dr. S
16) What is Emily’s link to the drunk driver?
intrigue: Dr. S is the only one at the funeral
intrigue: Emily is having an affair with Dr S
intrigue: there is no one in the car following Max
intrigue: Emily is seen walking away from the car, with a body now in it!
reveal: Emily is perpetrating these heinous acts!
17) Why is there no one in the car following him?
intrigue: the car is run by AI
intrigue: the new “body” was a man with no family.
intrigue: there is a crematorium in the lab!
intrigue: the man was in the rehab with him, but does not remember!
intrigue: the man voted for him, but isn’t like his normal voter profile!
intrigue: the man is back out on the street, with splotchy memory!
reveal: people are being murdered and turned into AI versions of themselves!
18) Why isn’t Max bleeding?
suspense: Emily covers Max with her body!
Mystery/suspense: Which one of them is shot!!!
Mystery: Is Emily genuinely trying to save him or does she have an ulterior motive?
suspense: will she be attacked or shut off if the crowd discovers she is AI?
suspense: Will Max be thrown in jail?
intrigue: Emily can heal herself
reveal: Emily took the bullet so that Max (and the world!) wouldn’t find out he’s in a robot body!
19) Will the reboot save or hurt him?
suspense: Max has extreme clarity…and then everything starts going black!
reveal: His decline has sped up!
20) Why does Emily go off the grid?
suspense: Dr. S has all the AI try and track her, to shut her down!
intrigue: Dr. S can reverse the sped up decline!
suspense: Emily is captured by Dr. S!
intrigue: the AI turn on Dr S
intrigue: Emily shut off the master controls!
intrigue: Max’s head clears
suspense: Emily kills Dr. S!
intrigue: Emily takes Max to the master controls…where dr s had his plans
reveal: Dr S wants to turn all the people infected by the virus in AI and they have a year to live!
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Yeah Kathryn. My challenge is to show just enough coverup to get MIS without giving up the reveal; which have to be mind-bending and twisted!!
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Michael Williamsen #11Reveals and coverups WIL coverups pile up, reveals slowly leak out then escalate to an explosive ending
VILLAIN’S PLAN. Narcissist Attorney Bob will do anything to build and protect to become the biggest human and sex trafficking organization.
HERO Sheriff Mike’s ex-wife rookie reporter Victoria, dating the Villain. Must maintain “everyone’s sweetheart” image while manipulating them all to save her daughter and the kidnapped children
RED HERRING Sheriff Mike, alcoholic, dying of prostate cancer, in re-election for sheriff, will stop at nothing to save his daughter.
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OPENING
A man is killed in an alley with a knife and ziptie around his neck. ZiP!
REVEAL He is in the kidnapping ring that gets killed off by the serial killer
Covered up by no exposure of identity murder at scene
MIS: suspense as he is killed, intrigue as to who this killer is, mystery: why?
Sheriff Mike is the investigator of the kidnappings. He is investigating a murder. Victoria is a reporter at the crime scene of the man killed with the Ziptie.
REVEAL: Mike is the killer? Not covered up really well as he is the Red Herring. Just no factual evidence- EVER.
Mystery: Is Mike really the killer? Intrigue: the killer is not shown. Suspense
Mike and Villain Bob have a nasty encounter of front of Mike’s ex-wife Victoria. Victoria shows affection to both Mike’s driver as well as Villain Bob’s driver.
REVEAL: Bob shoots Mike
Mystery: how will this turn out? Intrigue: Bob is narcissist Suspense: Bob wants their drivers to fight
We see a killing which end with kidnapping suspect with a ziptie around his neck. ZiP!
We see kidnappings.
More killings lead to suspicion of a serial killer. Another ziptie.
We see thugs taking children from border-crossing cages.
REVEAL: A kidnapping ring is being killed off by a serial killer.
Coverup: No evidence really appears – ever
Mystery: why are these thugs being killed off? Intrigue who is this killer? Suspense: a violent killing ending with a ziptie around vicitms neck
The Villain and sheriff Mike get in a finger pistol shootout in Mike’s office.
REVEAL: In the final moments, they actually face off with real guns and die
Coverup: This just looks like play.
Mystery: How does this hostile relationship turn out? Intrigue: pretend guns. Suspense: They make violent gestures at each other
INCITING INCIDENT
Mike’s daughter disappears. (turn into INCITING INCEDENT??)
Sheriff Mike and Victoria’s daughter disappear
Victoria accuses Sheriff Mike of taking their daughter turning her against him
REVEAL: Mike didn’t take her, Bob did
Cover up: Victoria blames Mike.
Mystery: who took Lucy?
The Mayor is bribed to join the kidnappers. He says: “what do we do with Mike”
REVEAL: Mayor betrays Mike
COVER UP: Mayor pretends to be Mike’s loyal friend
Mystery: Will Mike find out Mayor will betray him? Intrigue: Mayor’s claiming to be Mike’s loyal friend. Suspense: Will Mayor betray Mike, when, where, how?
Serial killings and kidnappings escalate.
Sheriff Mike finds out he has terminal Prostate Cancer
MIDPOINT – NO TURNING BACK
Victoria exposes evidence Bob the Villain is the kidnapping ringleader is really Villain.
REVEAL: Mike doesn’t have Lucy
Mystery: who does? Will Mike live long enough to save her? Will Mike and Victoria reunite?
Sheriff Mike gives evidence to his mis-trusted friend Mayor.
REVEAL: MAYOR HAS ALREADY BETRAYED MIKE
Mystery: How will this betrayal affect Mike’s future? Intrigue: How long can Mayor keep the secret? Suspense: Mayor is lying to Mike’s face.
Sheriff Mike’s good friend Police Chief is killed.
School buses of children are kidnapped during Police Chief’s funeral.
Mike’s driver fixes the ex-wife’s purse with a ziptie. Zip!
REVEAL: Mike, driver Dave, or Victoria – who is the ziptie strangler?
Mystery:– who dunnit? Intrigue: how is this happening Suspense: they all suspect each other
Mike’s driver Deputy Dave is killed as Mike was trying to send him to safety.
REVEAL: Dave was killed by kidnappers
Coverup: he was killed in a bathroom.
Mystery: was Dave the killer?
TURNING POINT 2 – ALL IS LOST FOR THE HERO
Victoria is in bed with Mike.
REVEAL: Victoria is using Mike to build army to save children
CoverUp: She sleeps with him.
Mystery: How will Victoria use all the weapons?
Mike is arrested and charged with being the kidnapper and the serial killer.
Victoria escapes even before Mike tells her about the escape door
The villains’ driver Joe helps Mike escape into the Mexican Ghetto – with a tracker.
REVEAL: Victoria knew about the arrest and the weapons; Mayor betrayed Mike;
Cover up: she is sleeping with Mike. Mayor lied to Mike, didn’t turn in evidence.
REVEAL Driver Joe is betraying his boss Bob’s trust
Coverup: he has been loyal to Bob all along
Mystery: How far will Joe betray Bob? Intrigue: Joe has been quiet the whole time. Suspense: Joe takes Bob to where Mike is
Deputy Dan tells of Mike’s military medals in Mike’s office – one is a sniper medal.
Deputy Dan looks out the window and is shot in the head by a sniper.
REVEAL – Mike is alive and on a killing rampage
COVER UP: Mike has been sequestered in a ghetto hotel
Mystery: What is Mike up to? Intrigue: Mike is now using his sniper rifle Suspense: Deputy Dan gets shot in the head
CLIMAX
The tracking device leads Villain to Mike at a coffee shop
REVEAL: Joe is working for either Bob or Mike
Coverup – he appears faithful to Bob, helps Mike escape – at Bob’s direction, he brings Mike to a different and safe place
The Mexican Ghetto shows their strength by rescuing their children and killing all the kidnappers.
Mike and Villain meet face to face in the coffee shop Both stating their intentions to kill each other.
REVEAL: Bob betrays himself trusting his arrogance to keep him alive
Cover Up: he says he hates guns all along.
Mystery: How will this end? Intrigue: Bob and Mike clash with wits Suspense: Mike and Bob pull guns
Villain shoots Mike.
Villain encounters some Mexican Gangsters with switch blades in the back alley.
. (at this point, we really don’t know who the ziptie strangler is. I could pin it on the Mexican Gangsters by them using the Ziptie but am preferring to leave it open.)
Mayor gets blown up.
REVEAL: Mayor faces his sins.
RESOLUTION
Villain’s driver, Mike’s ex-wife, and daughter meet on the beach in Mexico.
Ex-wife has a zip-tie holding her purse together. She pulls it off. Zip!
REVEAL: Villain’s driver Joe and Hero Victoria may have had more to do with ending the kidnapping ring and saving the children than we thought betraying the trust we the viewers had these were the good guys!
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Michael Williamsen.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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James Dramatic Reveals.
I learned that this is becoming the details of what we have made theoretical until now – sorta. Also I am not so sure how to really pay off or se-up a REVEAL but as I work on the map I’m sure I will get better at it.
FARM MURDERS:
OPENING:
Woman backing out of Barn at night – shock at discovering something, then heading out quick to the road – soon 3 HOODED GUYS with voice devices on, follow her – she runs, they chase after. When they get too close the Lead Hooded one says to fall back. “Give her a chance.” They wait for her to get to another farm and in the middle of the field they hit her over the head, she lands face down. They rub her face in the farm dirt – then slam her face into it – she is unconscious when a Thrasher approaches – only feet away she awakes to see it upon her and SCREAMS.
TWIST: At the end we see that the Thrasher was to scare the Hooded Guys away and the woman – Tang’s Mom is still alive!!
At College: Tang refuses to tell her college friends of her home life.
TWIST: Friends ask him for his “dead name” at least. He says “That’s why I’m never going back – because “Tina” will always be alive there.”
Reveal Tang is a FBI WANNABE: Tang and friends discuss now weeks away from her double-major that his eyes are set on getting into the FBI.
INCITING INCIDENT: TANG, in last week of College, gets call to come home as the woman who died was her Mom.
Tang goes home to grieve and wants to comfort and get comfort from his dad, grieving hard but stoically.
TWIST: He turns away from his only child.
Reveal TINA: IN THE GYM where a memorial for Mom – cuz she assistant coached the HS sports and it’s the biggest place in the town to have all who loved her.
REVEAL that Tang used to be TINA – the best soccer player she had to place on the men’s team. Behind the Glass is her picture and top scorer in the mid-west.
Tang Has to assert himself to get medical and coroners report.
TWIST: Farm folk call her TINA and so he uses it to threaten them: “I killed Tina so what do you think I’ll do to you if you don’t give me what I have a legal right to possess?!”
Finds comfort with Phil and a Girl she had a HS crush on like her as a “Him.”
Prejudices from townsfolk who knew him as female. Specially from an old HS guy BUBBA:
TWIST: They call him TINA a lot and it builds that finally he yells at one of them – “My name is Tang! Tang, got it??” Guy says “Well, that’s the stupidest name ever.” TANG: “Okay, what’s your name?” GUY: “Bubba.” TANG: “Members of the jury, I rest my case.”
TWIST: Another Guy threatens him with a shotgun he grabs from the cab of his beat-up truck. Tang uses his defense training to easily take the weapon from him and shoot out one of his tires. TANG: “That buckshot in your tire just doubled your trucks value. You can thank me later.” He shoots the other bullet into the air and hands back his empty weapon.
Eyes always upon Tang.
TWIST: Only the young teens people accept Tang, their eyes upon their iPhones “He’s Trans? Cool.”
Covertly – Phil has set the old neighbors and friends against Tang for being Trans Male, all the wild being his truest friend, like they were best friends back in High School.
3 GUYS dress in HOODS with voice disguise mechanisms to force Farmers, at gunpoint, to sign their farm deed over to them.
The coroner resists giving Tang his report on cause of death. “I mean she wasn’t chopped into one inch cubic bits, correct?”
At Dinner with Dad: Dad says there is no reason for a cause of death. Tang says they have procedures for a death like that.
TWIST: Dad wants to give Tang relief that Mom is alive and fine but can’t.
All Mom’s friends don’t want to tell Tang anything. 1. Trans now. 2. Think a “daughter” should never have left her parents for so long. 3. They are despondent because they think Mom is really dead.
TWIST: The most conservative one now will later become Tangs friend?
The Sheriff acts like he’s hiding something. (Mom was the Sheriff’s HS sweetheart he was supposed to marry once)
TWIST: He is behind the fake death of Mom also and is hiding that!
The Sheriff IS the law but doesn’t act like it; his son, Phil seems to try harder to figure it out.
A Guy Tang’s age mentions the “HOODED GUYS” as a joke but Tang wants to know more.
TWIST: Guy gets nervous, makes an excuse and leaves OR makes a mean-spirited Trans joke out of the blue. (Later turns out to be one of the Hooded Guys)
TURNING POINT: TANG finds suspicious cover-ups to her mom’s death, including the death of the Town MAYOR just a month before.
After Mom’s funeral, cremated of course – a car with no plates – almost runs Tang over.
Old school classmates of Tangs stalk him; taunt Tang as a girl;
Reveal that Tang thinks BUBBA maybe a Hooded Guy:
Tang refuses to be intimidated when asking for all medical and crime reports on his Mom
At the site of Mom’s death – Tang doesn’t find much but takes soil samples and then notices footprints and works them back near the Sheriff’s farm. Could the Sheriff be involved?
Tang gets a hang for this as she finds the Mayor was killed in a very different way but suspiciously and calls the FBI to get someone over for these multiple murders – and hopefully, to see she is ready to join.
TWIST: FBI thinks he’s a quack caller.
She talks to the Coroner about the Mayor’s death.
TWIST: Coroner freely answers all his questions!
Coroner hands her a bag from storage which has lots of black clothing fibers – a possible clue which leads to the hoods of the mysterious HOODED GUYS. Coroner says they were found mostly in the Mayor’s hair.
TWIST: Makes Tang think he could’ve been one of the HOODED BAD GUYS.
Farm owners nervously call it an old urban legend.
TWIST: If it’s old why did he never hear it growing up there as “Tina?”
MIDPOINT: The girl Tang had a crush on – when Tang was female – is infatuated right back and they become a couple.
The more Tang digs and the Sheriff threatens to put him in jail – 25 years Sheriff – he won’t comment further against the word of a 22 yr old Trans.
***[Places throughout Tang tells Phil about her investigation and he shows Trust and Distrust at different times – such as saying that the Mayor’s death isn’t a murder!]
Tang drives her Mom’s old car and is chased. Both cars get stuck in a sand bar or corn field and they both run and the chase continues on the farm’s 4 wheelers which are dumped in downtown residential blocks of houses and they now chase on foot – through backyards; Tang is grabbed by an owner of one house and held by his collar like a teenager caught stealing something! The person chasing Tang leaves, foiled again.
Unknown person threatens to post photo’s of Tang’s top surgery;
Tang is upset and Phil, Girlfriend and another friend of theirs get Tang to talk about being Trans.
TWIST: Phil makes a joke about it – which hits Tang hard, seemingly very unlike who Phil is.
Tang takes the hurt to psychoanalyze Phil as she explains what she studied in college to be in the FBI to identify criminally minded people.
TWIST: Tang says he has maniacal tendencies and no empathy for the suffering of others – as a joke but Phil gets angry and leaves saying they are no longer friends!
TWIST: Tang didn’t mean for that to happen but later glad when he is found to be the killer.
Tang’s Dad finally gives in and talks about Mom’s mouth getting her into trouble.
TWIST: Tang questions his use of present tense when he talks about Mom but he makes an excuse that he is still grieving and in shock.
ALMOST REVEAL: MOM’S DEATH is a ploy to get Tang home: DAD almost reveals it but Tang misunderstands as him grieving and he lets it go.
Tang finds out: Already sold Tang’s farm but Tang nor Dad knows about it. Tang’s Dad finally admits the Hooded Guys threatened him to sign his land away but he refused – he had no idea that Mom went through with it.
Then Farms deeds are found to be bought up by shell companies.
Someone says that they saw the Mayor get into an argument with someone in the shadows by the Sheriff’s barn the day before he was found dead. (the Sheriff is the RED HERRING)
The Sheriff says the Mayor wasn’t murdered but the buried condoner’s report is quite different from the official statement.
Tang finds it seems connected to Mom’s death (farm machine?? Components found like black threads?)
Mayor had no enemies except the Sheriff ran against him more than once.
Tang finds that Items from the same website which sells HOODS w Vocal Disguisers on them were sent to the Sheriff’s address. He demands that Tang go back to their college town and don’t open this can of worms.
REVEAL that Hooded Guys are local: Tang hears where and when the townsfolk have had encounters with the Hooded Guys and has an answer as to why they must be locals. 1. Had to have keys to the thrasher – had to have a place to torture the Mayor or ? (Maybe Mayor died of a heart attack – which coroner report says – but because he was beaten up on so bad! Perhaps Tang gets photos of his beaten face)
Is Hoods with mouth pieces are found in the Sheriff’s barn by Achilles (and Girlfriend)?
Tang and Girlfriend abducted with black hoods over their heads;
TURNING POINT 2: Tang girlfriend is killed or almost killed by a bullet meant for him.
REVEAL BUBBA is one of the Hooded Guys: Fits the profile and black threads on his shirt that he wears for days on end.
Tang demands a line-up for ONE WITNESS who one Hooded Guy threatened:
ONE WITNESS identifies BUBBA as the voice who threatened her. Soon after she says that the leader Hooded Guy had a mis-step to him, they can tell because they breed horses and you gotta watch for that or they aren’t worth as much but for studding.” (Phil has no toes on right foot from a farm accident)
TWIST: Phil had been acting like Tangs best friend all this time!
Phil traps Tang in his barn basement;
CLIMAX: Turns out it has been Tang’s best old friend from growing up who is the killer and he goes after him, they fight, he escapes – only to be chased down by his own father, the Sheriff, and arrested.
Turns out the Sheriff was protecting his son, Phil. And as he looks at his son in cuffs about to cry he sets him free and yells for him to run!!
TWIST: Paternal instincts are too strong after we thought he is doing the right thing.
It is Tang alone who has to chase him down on foot – in the very field where his own Mom was killed and duke it out with Tang the victor.
Phil confesses: Killed the Mayor in Phil’s Garage cuz he found out our plan to steal the deeds, use out own notary for the documents and connections to sell to the Billionaire but they didn’t kill Tang’s Mom but meant to cuz she snooped around and found our HOODS . We knocked her out in the field and someone else drove that thrasher over her!
Phil and the Sheriff are taken in by the Deputy.
RESOLUTION: Tang gets reunited with his Mom!!!
TWIST: She’s been alive all this time!!!
Dad, the Sheriff and the Coroner made up the story that she died because she knew you could find out who the Hooded Guys were and save their farms and that this was the only way you’d ever come back home again.
Tang also gets all the farm folks their deeds back and is shown gratitude by those who hated and were scared that Tang is a Trans Male.
Tang visits his Girlfriend, recovering in the hospital and Perhaps a phone call from the FBI – “when can you start?”
TWIST: He smiles at his Girlfriend which makes us think he may turn down the job offer to stay with her.
Girlfriend demands he go and fulfill his dreams – besides now she has the idea that getting out of town to go to college might be a good thing also.
TWIST: Tang suggests that this farm town ain’t so bad and that they hang out here for the summer and think about all their options.
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James. This was a BIG lesson for me. I am putting a whole new hero into my story. Before it was just a minor character. Replacing the hero seemed it would be like inserting a spine into a body. But I knew how the character ended the story; the big reveal. Then I just fine tuned some scenes as coverups to the secret ending. I then defined some more smaller reveals. I actually hand wrote the reveals then hand wrote various possibilities for coverups. Amazingly efficient!
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J Guenther’s Dramatic Reveals. more or less in order, omitting all but one or two M/I/S elements.
a) REVEAL: After looking for a job at BurgerPalooza, we see Allie’s new job is in a decrepit hospital.
b) REVEAL: Tilting upward from Allie’s bare feet on the rainy sidewalk, we see she is in a nurse’s uniform, carrying her cheap sensible shoes in her hand. Why was an RN looking at burger jobs?
c) REVEAL: A chance conversation on the street reveals that Hospital has a bad rep. Why would she even consider it?
d) REVEAL: She accepts the job–they need money, she has no car, it’s close to home and she’s burnt her bridges at her old hospital. How did that happen? we wonder.
d) REVEAL: Allie’s new boss is revealed (jump scare?) as the head nun, Sr. Polygrippa, a daunting woman of 6′-6″.
e) REVEAL: We observe that many patients are Indigents and frequently attack the nurses. Allie mistakes an on-duty injured nurse for a patient.
f) REVEAL: The new 10-year old patient, Clara Menzies, is a poltergeist, as revealed by her Jedi … er, occult tricks.
g) REVEAL: Mr. Menzies is shown as the Villain, trying to take over the hospital, when he stalks Allie near the end and orders Clara to kill her.
h) REVEAL: A dream-state hallucination shows us Allie has a phobia of surgical instruments after an incident at her previous hospital. This is why she doesn’t work there anymore and why she doesn’t want to serve as Clara’s anesthetist. (“Better give ‘er a double dose, Allie,” the surgeon says.
i) REVEAL: The spooky Janitor, Mr. Ralph “Red” Harrington, a denizen of the old basement, is an ally, knows the hospital better than anyone else. He has a slide rule and all the plans on his workshop walls.
j) REVEAL: Clara’s mother is an alcoholic, so her death with a bottle in her hand was not murder. Or was it? The empty bottle is an antique quart of “Old Nogginthrob.”
k) REVEAL: The rooms in the old wing have an antique speaker tube system. They are used for listening in one direction and injection of asphyxiant gas in the other. We see ears listening, Act 1. We see tendrils of poison gas flowing out into the room, Act 3. We hear ghastly shrieks emanating from the tubes, Act 4.
l) REVEAL: The hospital is being drained of cash in order to drive it into bankruptcy. We see Allie or Sr. Polygrippa discover this when they open the ledger.
m) REVEAL: “The hospital is almost bankrupt,” groans Polygrippa.
n) REVEAL: Allie interviews the EMTs and one admits they are being bribed to bring indigents to hospital, “$50 a pop.”
o) REVEAL: Co-worker sneaks up on Allie and listens to her phone calls.
v) REVEAL: Allie whips back the sheet to check on Janitor’s body. It has been replaced by an anatomical skeleton.
w) MIS: Allie brings someone back to the cold room to show them the skeleton.
w) REVEAL: Again the sheet is jerked away, revealing the Janitor’s body, sans organs.
x) MIS: They explore the ultra spooky sealed off wing.
x) REVEAL: They open a door, and discover an organ harvesting operating room, with a few organs being put into picnic coolers or dewars.
y) REVEAL: A clipboard on the surgery wall lists Allie as donor #5.
z) REVEAL: Clara has changed sides. The exorcism worked, so when her father orders her to kill Allie, she uses her poltergeist powers to shove him down the stairwell, instead: “YEEE AAAAAH-HOO-HOO-HOOOIE!”
What I learned: Reveals are the most powerful elements of a thriller.
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Leona Heraty’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned is…The more scenes I have with MIS and a clever cover-up and dramatic reveal, the better my story is!
Reveal 1:
A. Reveal: McKenzie is being followed by a figure wearing a creepy mask.
B. How did it get covered up? A figure was wearing a fake “man’s face” mask.
C. Mystery: Why is a dark sedan driving so closely behind McKenzie’s car?
D. Suspense: Will the masked figure try to harm McKenzie?
E:
E: Reveal with dramatic impact: A person is wearing two masks! McKenzie is in danger
Reveal 2:
A. Reveal: McKenzie hears a noise by her car.
B. How did it get covered up? Nobody is within her line of site, but the creepy masked figure is lurking nearby.
C. Mystery: Why is she being followed?
D. Suspense: Will the creepy masked figure harm her?
E. Intrigue: Who wears two masks, one on top of the other?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: She looks under her car, there’s nothing there, she’s safe.Reveal: 3
A. Reveal: The Creepy Masked Figure is on the rooftop, staring down at McKenzie.
B. How did it get covered up? The person is wearing a mask.
C. Mystery: Who is wearing the mask and why are they following McKenzie?
D. Suspense: Will the Creepy Masked Figure try to harm McKenzie?
E. Intrigue: Why is this person acting so weird?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: N/AReveal: 4
A. Reveal: In McKenzie’s office, we can see she loves hiking in state and national parks and she’s interested in finding the lost Totem Trail that leads to Perilous Peak. She walks around and admires the posters and tra
B. How did it get covered up? There are posters on the wall and old maps that show the hiking trails and the lost Totem Trail and Perilous Peak.
C. Mystery: One map says, “Can you find the way to Perilous Peak on the Lost Totem Trail?”
D. Suspense: N/A
E. Intrigue: What’s the history of the Lost Totem Trail?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: McKenzie traces her finger on the map with the Lost Totem Trail and says, “I’m not giving up on you.”Reveal: 5
A. Reveal: McKenzie pulls a flyer off her board that advertises a New Year’s Day hike up to Perilous Peak, and she plans to do the hike today.
B. How did it get covered up? We don’t notice it at first, when she walks into her office.
C. Mystery: N/A
D. Suspense: Will McKenzie make it to Perilous Peak safely?
E. Intrigue: Why is McKenzie so determined to make it to Perilous Peak today?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: She rips the flyer off the bulletin board and says, “Okay, baby! You’re on!”Reveal: 6
A. Reveal: McKenzie’s bosses, her Uncle John and Aunt June, hide behind her and yell, “Happy New Year’s Eve!”
B. How did it get covered up? They sneak up behind McKenzie.
C. Mystery: Will McKenzie hear them sneaking up behind her? Who are these people?
D. Suspense: Will McKenzie trip over the waste paper basket behind her?
E. Intrigue: Why are these people sneaking up behind McKenzie?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: Uncle John and Aunt June yell, “Happy New Year’s Eve!” and McKenzie, startled, jumps back and trips on the waste paper basket behind her and falls on the floor.Reveal: 7
A. Reveal: The two people who sneak up behind McKenzie are her Uncle John and Aunt June, who are also her employers.
B. How did it get covered up? We don’t know who these two people are who are sneaking up behind McKenzie.
C. Mystery: Who are these two people?
D. Suspense: Why are they sneaking up behind McKenzie?
E. Intrigue: N/A
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: Uncle John and Aunt June yell, “Happy New Year’s Eve!” and McKenzie is startled, trips backward over the waste paper basket and falls on the floor, laughing.
Reveal: 8A.
Reveal: Brent is McKenzie’s
co-worker at the firm and her cousin.
B. How did it get covered up? We
don’t know who he is at first.
C. Mystery: We hear a voice singing Volare in the next room. Who is this?
D. Suspense: N/A
E. Intrigue: Who sings Volare in a law office?
F. Reveal with dramatic impact: McKenzie’s cousin, Brent, appears and he says, “Hi
Cuz!”-
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Leona Heraty.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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