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Lesson 5
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5 Replies
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Pitch for HONEYMOON WITH STRANGERS
Talk about a wedding night to remember.
New Yorkers Ben and Claire Crawford are headed for a dream honeymoon when their flight is suddenly canceled by a fast-moving hurricane. With the city shut down, the only place they can find refuge is the Riviera Motel…
A hangout for criminals, prostitutes and psychos.
Ben and Claire are threatened, robbed and nearly killed — and that’s before they even check in. Then they have to tangle with mobsters, Russian spies and a predatory sex addict who turns out to be the state’s governor.
Then the lights go out.
In the darkness, the newlyweds discover uncomfortable truths about each other — and begin to doubt their marriage. But when they’re captured by a serial killer named “Dennis,” he convinces them that they belong together.
Too bad he’s about to kill them.
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Sandy Nichols – Synopsis Hooks
Isn’t that ironic! It’s raining on your moving day!
After Sami and Jamie loose big in a house flipping fiasco, they are forced to sell their own home to pay off the debt.
They move into a high end apartment building while waiting out their next move. AND days earlier they learned that Sami’s division is being shut down so now they don’t know if they can even pay the rent! AND the movers have started a traffic jam that has all their new neighbors up in arms. Where do they go from here?In comes Brooks, Sami’s ex boss – who also lives in the building, to help the couple out. While he gives his personal guarantee to the building management that the rent will be paid, he also gives Sami a signing bonus for a new position with a different division that covers the first year of rent. Meaning Jamie doesn’t have to sell her prized possession, her baby grand piano.
Feeling like they started on the wrong foot with all the neighbors they suddenly hear a knock on the door and open it to their new saviors and building mates. Their new best friends are there with charcuterie boards and bottles of wine to help them settle in AND give them the scope on the drama in the building. Sami and Erin seem to become close friends but are constantly battling with their different opinions on life. Sami is a glass always full person while Erin knows the world is out to get her.
The compromises for friendship they make along the way keep the story line interesting. From tears at the Sushi Bar happy hour to big drama at a holiday cookie decorating party!! And so much more in between.
This is a timeless tale relatable to all ages and by our gay, straight and somewhere in between friends!
What I learned here, relearned I should say, is I’m not a writer! I just had an idea around our experience of living in an apartment building for two years after selling our home. After my second social event in the building I can home and told my partner, this building is a sitcom. So I started jotting down ideas of things that actually happened and a story came to life. Then on a cold April night in MN I walked into a nail salon and sat by a women who just happened to be a producer! So the journey began. I took this class to learn about pitching our sitcom idea to producers. Not really to write, because I’m not a writer!!
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This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by Sandy Nichols.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by
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Gila’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment? That a synopsis should include mostly story hooks….parts of the story that will grab a reader’s attention. But I also learned that it will take me time to get my brain around this. I’m not happy with what I came up with, but I don’t want too much time to pass.
Title THE RIFE MACHINE
Written by Gila Zalon
Genre: Political Crime Thriller
A machine that can cure cancer. A drug company that wants to destroy it. What follows? Mayhem and murder.The murder of a doctor who cured cancer with a machine developed in the 1930’s sets Police Chief Anthony DiMucci on a hunt for the doctor’s killer. But does the machine work? His wife is dying of cancer and DiMucci needs to see if it can help her. Fearing for his life, a chiropractor who has worked with the murdered doctor, hands the machine over to DiMucci and the police. The temptation is too much. DiMucci steals the machine from his police station’s property room.
DiMucci soon discovers that the head of a Drug Lobby wants the machine even more than he does. If it proliferates it will make a new cancer drug about to hit the market seem tame by comparison. DiMucci wants to save the machine. It seems to be helping his wife. The Lobby wants to destroy it and will kill anyone that stands in their way. In fact their victims already include the Medical Doctor, the chiropractor, a nurse, and a Professor of Medicine. Is it worth all of those deaths to keep the machine from them? Is DiMucci’s wife more important than those being murdered by the Lobby?
Even worse, DiMucci discovers that political mucky-mucks are working with the Lobby. And the politicians discover that DiMucci has the machine. What ensues is inevitable. DiMucci loses his job. But his wife is cured of cancer, and it seems there are forces in the country secretly developing the machine. Maybe, in some way, he can help them.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by Gila Zalon.
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This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by
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Gila’s High Concept/Elevator Pitch.
What did I learn? That writing good marketing pitches is harder than writing a scipt.
1. To find your main hook, give us what is most unique about your lead character’s journey from a big picture perspective.
A good cop risks the lives of good people to save his wife from dying of cancer.
2. How can you tell it in the most interesting way possible?
Dilemma
Is one woman’s life worth risking the death of many others?
Main Conflict
Can a Police Chief save his dying wife with a machine that a murderous political drug lobby wants to destroy?
What’s at stake?
A world-shaking cancer-curing machine can be sent to oblivion rather than compete with a new drug.
OR:
A man’s life and the lives of others are at stake to save a cancer-curing machine from a destructive drug lobby.
Goal/Unique Opposition
Can a cancer-curing machine find a place in the world despite the murderous intentions of a heinous drug lobby?3. Elevator Pitch
I’m working with an award-winning director on a script about a machine that cures cancer-
This reply was modified 7 months ago by Gila Zalon.
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This reply was modified 7 months ago by
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Diane’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to practice the exercise of conceptualizing the story’s details into broad, yet interesting, strokes. And how tempting it is to add too much of the story details. This will take practice, but the principles of MIT and COM are so very helpful.
Title: Not Dead Yet
Written by Diane Keranen
Genre: DramaSuicide become an option for Matt, a soldier returning from combat. That is, unless he can find a life worth living.
As Independence Day festivities build, Matt’s son, Jake, learns to kill while hunting. His traumatic response to taking life is celebrated by his peers and elders. Being told his dad will be proud of his hunting skill and facing ridicule for show weakness, Jake hides his true reaction and steps onto the path of trauma, isolation, and family disfunction that haunts his father and grandfather.
Three generations struggle with trauma as Independence Day approaches. Each face dilemmas of choosing between life and death when the crushing weight of admiration of strangers and friends and the love of family put each at odds with their own lives.
What, then, does each discover while not dead yet?
The hooks I came up with:
1. The script is a timely and unique, high-concept, veteran story – there isn’t a magical fix at the end.
2. The major hook at the beginning. A ten-year-old boy is traumatized when he shoots and kills a rabbit.
3. One major twist is that the villain respects the veteran, the villain harms the veteran, and the villain knows harm is being imposed.
4. Profound experience for the audience.
5. Strong emotional dilemmas for the veterans.
6. Suicide becomes an option.
7. Great roles for actors.
8. Wide audience appeal.
9. While not a true story, it is true to life.
10. Budget friendly.
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