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Lesson 6
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Steve’s Mystery sequence
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
The villain wants to close the market building and make a fortune from redevelopment of the site. The secret is that traders could stop it, if they knew about the restrictive covenant in the original property deeds, which does not allow the site to be anything other than a market. The original deeds are in the sealed vault of an old nunnery, which is part of the market basement.
2. How many ways can they cover that secret?
Neighbouring butcher/trader is killed when he fights against the closure
Red Herring – Rory (Michaels wife) has history of mental illness. Daughter of a butcher, she has been involved with killing in the past. Did she kill the rival butcher? Workers from the developer have also gone missing – so it can’t be the developer that is responsible?
Mr Finman wants people to believe it is happening and already a done deal. So, he initiates evicting people and starting minor demolition works.
Mr Finman attempts to gain access to the nun’s cellar stating it is because he wants to preserve the nunnery’s history. He engages the nuns of today that are descendants of original convent. Access is difficult, and attempts escalate incrementally in dramatic fashion.
Does the building have a mind of it’s own?
Main mysteries/chains
1) Man from development company is killed
Rory (red herring) and her family have been in the market for 4 generations
She has killed before due to mental illness
She has no alibi
Rory keeps going missing – where does she go?2) Is there a way to stop the development
Traders try to petition the owner of the market
Rory engages her long-lost brother (barrister) for legal advice
Michael becomes friends with market manager – Frank, for inside information
Is the old nunnery connected to the decision to redevelop the market3) Who killed Todd the butcher
Rory was missing again at the time of the murder
Mr Finman is connected to the gangsters/henchmen from the basement4) Is the building alive?
Repeated attempts to get into the nun’s vault fail
Are the supernatural incidents connected with the building
Michael, goes into vault and travels to 1856. He gets trapped in vault. (Dream?)
Chloe gets him out, carrying the original property deeds proving that development cannot take place… market saved. -
Ron Neustrom (Day 6 The Mystery Sequence)
What I learned is a new way of looking at mysteries and their role in a thriller. This lesson forced me into another POV that leads to a new tool in creating a thriller. Mystery is produced by creating a secret covered up, usually by the villain. The hero encounters the mystery, but it is produced by first understanding what the villain is trying to cover. This is a powerful idea in the creation of a thriller with a big mystery. As I get deeper into my understanding and controlling the genre I am trying to understand the relationship between mystery, coverup, and secret. This lesson introduced me to a huge piece of the genre puzzle. It also made me see how to make the story more active. What is the villain doing to cover their secret? Why are they doing it? How does this throw off the hero? It forced me into minds of the forces of evil. How to progress/connect the mysteries effectively and how they will be presented to my hero and the audience. Thank you, Hal.
1. What is the big secret the Villain is covering up?
Margaret Dound, San Diego Mayor was responsible for ordering Ana’s killing.
2. How many ways can you cover that secret?
A. Make the victims appear unstable.
B. Alter records.
C. Create false leads.
D. Present red-herring/alternative suspects.
E. Make it look like an accident.
F. By using many effective masks to deflect guilt.
G. By killing anyone who gets close to investigating or solving or connecting them to the murder.
H. Control murder investigation away from themselves.
I. Hiding behind social aid programs.(Overall Big Mystery)
– Why was Ana Cruz killed?3. The first mystery must engage the hero into solving it.
4. Overall mysteries sequenced w/Red Herring sequence
1. Why has Vivian’s sister returned to San Diego after being separated for ten years?
2. Who are The Miranda Men?
3. Is the Mayor responsible for Ana’s death?
4. Red-Herring mystery – Was Deputy Kaye responsible for killing their mother?The BIG MYSTERY is Why was Ana Cruz killed?
*1st mystery to engage our hero.
5. Mystery Chains for each mystery
1. Why has Jewel returned to San Diego after 10 years? (1st Mystery Chain)
A. What happened to Jewel while she was in the system/prison?
B. Why is she involved with Antonio, a known drug dealer?
C. Why has she left her facility before completing her treatment?
D. Why is she putting Vivian’s career in jeopardy?2. Who are The Miranda Men? (2nd Mystery Chain)
A. Did Kaye receive money from the man who we saw kill their mother?
B. Why did Alex target hotline victim?
C. Was Ana a whistleblower?
D. What did Ana uncover?3. Is The Mayor responsible for Ana’s death? (3rd Mystery Chain)
A. Who was the Mayor working with?
B. Who did the Mayor take money from?
C. How is Margaret Doud connected to Gary Gilmour?
D. Why did Gilmour kill Kaye?*all connects to (Overall Big Mystery) Why was Ana Cruz killed?
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This reply was modified 5 months ago by Ronald Neustrom.
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This reply was modified 5 months ago by Ronald Neustrom.
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This reply was modified 5 months ago by
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What I learned is that if you work at the Mystery Chain you can answer a lot of questions that need answering. It help write the story.
Create your mystery sequence. Give us the answer to these questions.
1. What is the big secret that the Villain is covering up?
Sam’s dad killed Iz’s parents.2. Create a Mystery Chain for each main mystery.
Mystery 1: Sam’s cousin (Jordan) is found in a trash truck, who killed him?
• A rival family has threatened them
• What does this mean to the family?
• The police question the family and suspect they know who did it.
• The police worry there will be more blood on the streets.Mystery 2: Who bugged Sam and Tyler’s house?
• Is it the same person who killed Jordan?
• What are they trying to learn?
• Is it the police or a 3-letter agency?
• How did they get in and past their security?Mystery 3: Could JJ be the killer?
• He was caught in the house when nobody was home and he Tyler wasn’t expecting him.
• Tyler saw him leaving Sam’s room which is locked all the time.
• He questioned Tyler about Sam’s door being locked.
• He keeps asking Tyler questions about Sam and her family.
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Mystery 4: Are JJ and Iz having an affair?
• Why were they talking quietly on the balcony? What were they talking about?
• Why is Iz calling JJ?
• Why does Iz have JJ’s phone number in her phone?
• Did Sam see JJ at the hotel where her and Iz were staying?
• When Sam asks Tyler if JJ was with her the night, she thought she saw him at the hotel, Tyler said he was working.
• Sam asks Bobby if he was working that same night. He says yes and was working solo since JJ called in sick.Mystery 5: Who killed Sam’s Uncle Mikey?
• He’s killed a lot of people over the years, who got revenge?
• Could it be the new family trying to make a name for themselves?
• Could it be the guy that Mikey called the cops on the week before?Mystery 6: Who sent the guy to Pa’s house to watch him?
• Why are is watching Pa?
• He tells him they don’t know who hired them.
• They were told to follow him and, on the 4th, day deliver the flowers that were pre ordered.
• The note with the flowers says “I’m watching you”
• Why is he carrying a gun?
• The flower shop says they were ordered online.Mystery 7: Is Iz the killer?
• She tries to hard with Sam.
• She’s secretive about her past.
• Sam has seen a dark side of her with a passenger who was hitting on her.
• Iz lied about her real last name.
• Iz was adopted and didn’t tell Sam.
• What is her end game? -
Thriller Lesson 8
Rod’s Mystery Sequence
I learned I was trying to find situations because I only has a two line concept until the light bulb finally lit. That’s the purpose of this whole class: to develop all the levels that build to MIS of that concept, thus becoming the MIS outline for writing the script. Now I’m banging out mysteries as I go. Are they all perfect? Will they all fit? I’m find out as the lessons continue.
Again, Wow!What is the big secret the Villain’s covering up? Theft of government contracting secrets being used for mob profit is discovered and evidence stolen, placed on a micro chip that the mob boss (villain) must recover and terminate those involved.
How many ways can he cover that secret? - Kill the thief.
⁃ Find the stolen disc then kill the recipient (the hero, a waitress).
⁃ When the villain is unable to find the disc, he must set up a way to trick the waitress to return the disc before he kills her.
⁃ To further hide his operation, he sets up a red herring to blame a Senator’s office for the leaks. (The Senator becomes the red herring.)
⁃ When making a deal with the waitress won’t work the villain has her terrorized.
⁃ As the waitress starts investigating, he makes her suspected of being involved with the Senator’s office.
⁃ The Senator reveals that he’s been running his own investigation and announces the identity of the real thief.
⁃ The mob tries to kill the real thief before he can talk.
Sequence the mysteries so that each one leads us to the next one. For now the sequencing flows as above.Create a mystery chain for each man mystery, including a red herring.
The main mystery:
⁃ A waitress receives the stolen micro chip.
⁃ Did she plan the theft?
⁃ What is she going to do with the information?
⁃ Will the villain kill her to get the chip back?
⁃ Can the villain keep the whole disaster quiet to save his profitable operation?
Mystery #2:⁃ The waitress (hero) discovers what’s on the chip. What will she do about it?
⁃ She lies about her background to the local detective.
⁃ Can she overcome her fear of getting someone else killed as happed in her past?
⁃ She lies about not knowing the Senator the investigation leads to.
⁃ Can she really find the answers and save her life?
⁃ Can she overcome her fear of the past?
Mystery #3:
⁃ Is the Senator (red herring) guilty?
⁃ Is he dealing with the mob to keep a failing business afloat?
⁃ He avoids the reporter.
⁃ Why is he not willing to be interviewed by the press?
⁃ Why are emails about the theft coming from his office computer?
⁃ Is the Senator hiding behind his own secret investigation of the thefts?
⁃ Is someone on his staff the supplier of stolen information?
⁃ If so can the Senator prove it?
⁃ The guilty person is discovered, the Senator is cleared.
Mystery #4:
⁃ The mob boss (villain) has connections to everyone involved. Is he pulling the strings?
⁃ The mob boss’ lackey is caught with the gun used to kill the original thief.
⁃ Can the boss isolate himself from the lackey?
⁃ The mob boss tries to find the supplier to kill him.
⁃ A police IT expert opens the file on the stolen chip—it points to the mob boss.
⁃ The mob boss tries to shoot his way free. He fails.
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