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Lesson 10
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What I learned from doing this assignment is to keep looking for ways to escalate the humor.
Genre: comedy
Title: Unaccountable
Concept: A mild-mannered accountant must navigate a corrupt hip hop world when a gangsta rapper/ music mogul forcibly recruits him to cook the books of his criminal empire before an upcoming audit.Toppers
At Slaughter’s club, his henchmen overhear Jerry speaking into his phone and think he’s an undercover Fed.
They follow him into the restroom and demand he turn away from the urinal and show them what he’s got; he thinks they want to compare ‘manhood’ sizes
They insult his 70’s style puffy shirt before tearing it open.
They spot a mole on his chest and, thinking it’s a microphone, rip it off.Running Gags:
In the first scene, Slaughter’s men dangle a man out of a 10th story window to get him to sign a contract. The do the same to Jerry at his office and then realize they’re on the ground floor.
Jerry calls his old friend Sophia Ma, a Treasury agent for advice on Slaughter’s audit. When Jerry hitches a plane ride from a cartel member, he calls her to meet him at the airport. When the cartel members demand to know who he’s calling, he shows them the contact number says “MA’ and that it’s his mother.
Jerry accidentally scoops up a cop’s badge when he intrudes on the man in the middle of a bondage session. He later flashes the badge to a bank manager to get him to give up his partner’s current whereabouts.
The rap lingo Slaughter used to intimidate him is now used against the bank manager as well.
When Jerry finally turns over the tax audit to Slaughter, he really IS wearing a wire.
Once Claudia takes over Slaughter’s club, Jerry gets to perform the rap poetry that was always dissed by his instructor. -
What I learned…One funny line iesn’t enough. Try harder, Jodie, and you will come up with additional gags.
INT. RESTAURANT – PRESENT
Busy, cozy lunch crowd. Customers. Servers. A table of four refined WOMEN, all in their 40s, laughing politely. ELIZABETH JONES stands up to make a toast.
ELIZABETH
To all my Tri Delt sisters. My special day wouldn’t have been the same without y’all.
CHARLOTTE, PENNY, CAROLINE and Elizabeth clink glasses. Elizabeth’s friends whip out exquisitely WRAPPED GIFTS.
CHARLOTTE
Here’s to our sister Elizabeth, who looks so rested and refreshed and still a size 6.
CAROLINE
To Elizabeth, our fabulous friend who’s been loitering in the fountain of youth.
Caroline hands her a gift.
ELIZABETH
Don’t tell me. I forgot to write ‘no gifts’ on the invitation — again!?
PENNY
(hands over a gift)
Elizabeth Jones. Please let us pamper you.
They scrutinize one another’s gifts as if it were a gift giving competition.
AT THE OTHER END OF THE RESTAURANT
A different group of women celebrate. HELEN, KITTY, FRANNIE and LOVIE SMITH look more easy-going and casual.
Lovie rises to speak. She climb up onto her chair.
LOVIE
(animated)
Here’s to the Yadda-Yadda Sisterhood. My sanity.
KITTY
Here’s to our Lovie, who taught us the true meaning of girlfriend-dom.
HELEN
Here, here.
Lovie stumbles as her high heel pokes a hole in the chair’s fabric.
LOVIE
Oops.
Lovie kicks off her high heels. Frannie catches it.
KITTY
Speech!
LOVIE
To brats and divas. Y’all know who you are.
Frannie points at Kitty and mouths, “Brat.”
Kitty points at Helen and mouths, “Diva.”
LOVIE
And to Frannie who taught me how to drive stick. You shouldn’t have.
Eyes shut, Lovie feigns driving a stick shift. As she shifts into fourth gear, she lifts her foot and falls to the floor in a heap.
On the way down, her arm wallops the HANDSOME SERVER and his TRAY. In SLO MO, he sacrifices the tray to save her. She’s in his arms. It’s romantic.
Helen goes to Lovie’s rescue only to get pushed away.
Handsome Server gently helps her back to her seat.
LOVIE
And I’m stone cold sober. Believe that? (THIS IS THE RUNNING GAG. PEOPLE ALWAYS MISTAKE LOVIE FOR DRUNK WHEN SHE”S NOT)
HANDSOME SERVER
Of course not. How long you telling people it’s been?
AT THE OTHER END OF THE RESTAURANT
Elizabeth’s group reacts to the calamity with disgust.
CHARLOTTE
(with a sneer)
Dra-runk.
Elizabeth gets back to her array of gifts. Puts on a pink golf glove.
ELIZABETH
Thank you, Penny. It’s absolutely adorable.
PENNY
It’s Nicole Miller.
ELIZABETH
Just in time for the Pink Parade tournament. We’re raising for the Boys and Girls Club this year.
CHARLOTTE
Oh, how nice. You got my name right for the press release, didn’t you?
AT THE OTHER END OF THE RESTAURANT
Lovie straightens herself out and hands her business card to the server.
LOVIE
I’ll pay for the damage but they’re buying lunch. Send a bill, Lovie Smith, Pamperus Island Realty. Or bring it by. That is, if you’re in the market.
HANDSOME SERVER
Okay, sure. What’s your BAC? (THIS IS MISINTERPRETATION)
LOVIE
Today, it’s zero, I swear.
HANDSOME SERVER
Really? How do you make a living?
LOVIE
Last time was back in college, and who hasn’t been tested. 0.09, well below the limit.
HANDSOME SERVER
I meant your buyer agent commission, not your blood alcohol content.
LOVIE
Whoops, sorry. It’s just that I’ve been mistaken for drunk so many times when it’s actually just my bubbly personality people con’t help but notice.
As Lovie and her friends leave, they pass Elizabeth’s group.
ELIZABETH
Lovie. Hello. Was that you who fell? You have a good attorney, I hope.
LOVIE
Don’t worry ‘bout me. How’s business, Liz?
ELIZABETH
I’m actually closing on a $3.5 million dollar fixer-upper next week. And you? How are you doing?
LOVIE
This market sucks worse than a ten dollar you know what.
ELIZABETH
I wouldn’t know.
KITTY walks by dangling Lovie’s purse.
KITTY
Forget something?
LOVIE
(taking the purse)
Oh, yeah. I didn’t get the server’s name and phone number.
ELIZABETH
Is he in the market?
LOVIE
Ya never know. It’s such a pissy time to be a realtor. Buyers can’t buy until they sell, yadda, yadda, blah blah blah. Somebody give me a friggin’ contract, pa-leeze!
Helen walks by, hands Lovie her keys.
HELEN
Might need these.
LOVIE
Thanks. See ya at the range.
ELIZABETH
The what now?
LOVIE
Birthday girl gets to pick. A guy at the gun range giving lessons. Free on your birthday.
LOVIE
Obviously not my first pick, but …
(notices the gifts)
… I can’t have everything I want.
ELIZABETH
Nor should you.
LOVIE
What are we celebrating?
ELIZABETH
It’s my anniversary. (WHAT! WE WERE EXPECTING BIRTHDAY)
LOVIE
(looks at the gal pals)
Oh, wow. How’s come your hubby isn’t celebrating? Gotta run. Suppose I’ll see you in Vegas.
ELIZABETH
He’s, ah, delivering a baby, duh. What’s happening in Las Vegas?
LOVIE
Realtor convention. I don’t normally care, but real estate champion-maker, Kirk Deller’s speaking. And well, ya know, with the market the way is, I have to do something, or my business is toast.
ELIZABETH
Good luck with that.
Penny leans in toward Elizabeth, concerned.
PENNY
Let me get this straight, you work?
CHARLOTTE
Dr. Jones not doing well?
Elizabeth rises. Picks up her purse.
ELIZABETH
(walking out)
The Joneses don’t have money problems. Penny, you make it sound like I have ah, ah j-job.
PENNY
(following Elizabeth)
Well, do you work, or not?
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