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post day 9 Assignment Here
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30 Day Script Lesson 8: Kimbal Thompson’s Opening Scenes 09.15.21
What I learned doing this assignment is how quickly scenes can develop and the need to concentrate on moving quickly. .
ASSIGNMENT
1. Empowerment
2. 1. Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
3. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
EAGLE STALLION
Act 1:
EXT. TRUCK LEAVING PRISON – NIGHT
A fifty-ish man is wedged between the frame rails beneath the Opala truck exiting the Hawaii Federal Detention Center where he has been an inmate since it’s construction in (date).
MAN
(to himself)
No traffic, first stoplight and I’m outa here, they won’t even miss me until tomorrow.
INT. KAI’S DINING ROOM – DAY
At the Breakfast table Kai and his parents are discussing his potential advancement to Eagle Scout
KAI’S DAD
(casually over breakfast)
What are you thinking about for your Eagle project son?
KAI
I’m not.
KAI’S MOM
Why?
KAI
You both are more into Scouting than I am at this point, I’m more interested in looking forward to getting my drivers license.
KAI’S DAD
Not until you finish your Eagle.
KAI’S MOM
I’ll support that.
KAI
That sucks! But I really have been thinking about it. You have any ideas?
KAI’S DAD
Do you remember Uncle Jim? He was a good friend that you met when you were in diapers. Remember the photo at least?
KAI
Wasn’t he the architect that jumped off the cliff?
KAI’S DAD
Yes, and survived. That was just before your picture with him. He was a talented architect and also designed a steel sculpture for Kalaheo High School, that may be in need of restoration. We should go look.
KAI
That sounds like a lot of work.
KAI’S DAD
Your project is not just supposed to be easy. Besides, it would truly be a good deed.
KAI
No good deed goes unpunished!
MIDDLE: Kai and his dad go see the weathered 2+ story high steel sculpture of a paper airplane stuck into a planter in the courtyard of Kalaheo High School. Kai chooses that as his project although schemes to have the restoration put out to bid for the actual restoration work.
END: School insists he also restore the life-size bronze horse sculpture in which Kai must perform the actual restoration work. Kai accepts.
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD – DAY
SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
Kai, we like your idea to restore the Airplane sculpture, but also have something else.
KAI
That’s great, Mahalo. That’s the else?
SCHOOL PRINCIPAL
The School team is the Mustangs and we have a horse in need of restoration.
KAI
What kind of mustang?
Act 2:
INT. STORAGE BUILDING – DAY
BEGINNING: The Principal tkes Kai to a storage building behind the school and show him a full-size musty crusted meal sculpture of a horse.
MIDDLE: New plan: Kai decides to bring in expertise in restoring large bronze exterior sculptures.
END: Plan in action: Utilizing instructions from experts, Kai discovers patch in horse. Turning Point: Kai’s curiosity leads him to discover why there is a patch, uncovers patch to find a package inside with a valuable cache.
• Act 3:
EXT. TRUCK LEAVING PRISON – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Rory Ragsdale is wedged between the frame rails beneath the Opala truck exiting the Hawaii Federal Detention Center where he has been an inmate since it’s construction in (date).
MIDDLE• Rethink everything: Rory escapes prison, goes to find the horse and finds it missing
END: Rory Background and escape thru
PH Devise way for Rory background:
From New Jersey, rough childhood, moved with divorced parent to Hawaii while in lower grade, picked on in school, doesn’t like Hawaiian kids, hates scouts. despite being in trouble, enlisted in Air Force at 18, in Guam, court marshalled for what he thought was performing a good deed.. Arrested in Hawaii for major crime and incarcerated. Careful to not give much information on source of cache that he has hidden to insure his future once out of prison.
EXT. SCHOOL STOREROOM – NIGHT
• Finding the horse missing, he learns of Kai’s project, finds the repaired patch, and goes after Kai
INT. KAI AT HOME ON HIS COMMPUTER
• Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Kai traces the source of the cache, goes after Kai.
Act 4:
BEGINNING: Rory chases and catches Kai demanding where he has taken the package.
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT
KAI
Who are you and what are you talking about?
MIDDLE: Kai is interrupted and gracefully escapes. Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Rory captures Kai; Kai tricks and severely injures Rory, stealing his car and drives.
END: to the statue dedication ceremony turning in Rory and solving a long unsolved Hawaiian mystery.
INT. KALAHEO HIGH SCHOOL AUDITIRIUM – DAY
The entire Kalaheo High School body is assembled in teh courtyard including on second story walkways facing the courtyard. Kai is introduced among full applause an hundreds of paper airplanes flown toward the sculptures.
KAI
Kai explains the source of the cache and dedicates it’ return.
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Emmanuel’s Act 1 Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is act 1 has four key scenes that if followed allows the writing process to work out smoothly. The four key scenes are exciting opening, inciting incident, reaction to inciting incident and turning point.
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Lee’s Act 1 – Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is…that I didn’t do too bad on just writing, but I still need work on 1) not going back over things, and 2) not stopping to think too much. Writing the scenes took me too long, I think.
Outlines of opening scenes
Scene 1 – Meet Janus (Antagonist)
EXT. THE DESERT – NIGHT
A troop of men race to a fiery wreck of some kind of craft.
They try to subdue a writhing, angry woman who’s restrained by netting, but still fights.
Janus, furious, rushes in, stabs at the woman with a rod that emits long electric sparks, like lightning.
The woman passes out. Someone yells.
Janus sees two others, a man and a child, who run away from the wreck.
He orders illumination. He and others dash after them.
They suddenly disappear. Janus and his men are confounded, but leave.
What they don’t see is the man and the little girl, now no taller than a couple inches, cowering behind a small rock.
Scene 2 – Meet Milly (Protagonist) and Rudi (her father)
SUPER – Ten years later
They eat breakfast, prepare for the day. All is normal. He talks about the lab he works at, she about school and JUSTIN, her friend.
On a display shelf is a bunch of very realistic miniature weapons, trucks, tanks, etc. that look very real.
They’re ready to part. He says “Until tonight, my darling alien”. She rebukes him. She’s not that. She’s a normal human. Very normal. He sighs.
They leave, she with Justin who pulls up on a dirt bike. He in his beater car.
FADE IN:
EXT. DESERT – NIGHT
Complete dark, pierced by the light of a flames. They emanate from a burning craft.
It’s crashed.
NEARBY…
Soldiers in camos with night vision equipment burst from a truck, dash toward the crash sight
SOLDIER
Go, go, go!
MOMENTS LATER…
Soldiers tussle with a woman. They’ve thrown a net over her, but she’s fierce, snarls.
Some poke at her with prods that glow with sparks. She flails wildly. Soldiers FLY backwards.
As they struggle, a tall, imposing officer, COMMANDER JANUS, strides into the group. He grabs a prod from a soldier.
JANUS
Give me that!
Janus walks close to the writhing woman, jams the prod into her thigh before she can react.
Her body gyrates uncontrollably, then motionless.
JANUS
Get her to the truck. Restrain her.
Several soldiers move in. Then…
SCOUT SOLDIER
Commander Janus, look! Over there!
Silhouetted by the flames of the burning craft, a man and a small girl run toward the black desert.
JANUS
Quick, you and you, follow me.
The dash toward the running figures. They quickly close the gap between them, but find no one.
Janus shines a light into the night. The others do the same. There’s no one anywhere.
JANUS
Back to the truck.
The soldiers leave. Janus lingers; one last look. Then he leaves.
The fire continues to blaze…and reveals what Janus didn’t see barely a foot from where he stood.
A frightened, bespectacled man, skinny, 30s. Clinging to him, a small child, a girl, 4-5. The blaze glints off her bright green hair.
They crouch behind a rock. But it’s really just a bit bigger than a good-sized throwing rock.
And they’re just over two inches tall.
EXT. MILLY’S HOUSE – DAY
A quaint country cottage. Watered desert greenery and a sturdy picket fence mark its lawn.
Brown desert stretches out before it, dry foothills and purple mountains rise up behind it.
SUPER: Ten years later…
INT. MILLY’S HOUSE
A modest-sized kitchen dining area.
Breakfast time. MARCUS, a bespectacled middle aged man (same as the tiny man in the previous scene, just older), munches on bacon and eggs, reads from his tablet.
MILLY, 14, cute, slim, bright green hair (the 4-year-old from the previous scene, mostly grown up), enters, dishes herself up the same from pans on the stove.
She sits by Marcus, wolfs down her food.
MILLY
Haven’t left yet?
MARCUS
The bus broke down. They’re sending another driver from the lab.
MILLY
That sounds weird. There always so tight on you about all that.
MARCUS
I’ll be careful. How about you?
Milly finishes, dumps her dishes in the kitchen sink.
MILLY
No bus today. Justin’s coming. I’m going with him.
Marcus eyes her.
MARCUS
Not on the dirt bike?
MILLY
The truck.
The rumble of a not-very-well-tuned engine approaches. The sound of skidding tires.
MILLY
Jesus, he’s here already.
She bustles around, grabs a purse pack and a larger backpack.
MILLY
I’ll do those dishes when I get home.
She steps near Marcus.
MILLY
Come on. Up-up.
Marcus smiles, stands, and he and Milly share a tight embrace.
MILLY
I love you, Daddy. Have a good day. Make sure you come home.
MARCUS
I will as always.
He looks into her eyes.
MARCUS
My dear little alien. Be good out there.
MILLY
I will, and don’t call me that. I’m not like you, you know. I keep telling you that.
Marcus sighs, shakes his head.
MARCUS
One of these days…
MILLY
But not today. Gotta go.
She pulls away, opens the door, then spots her phone on the table. It ZIPS into her hand, she leaves.
Marcus shakes his head. He puts dishes in the sink, grabs his things. His gaze lingers on a shelf filled with miniature weapons, trucks, tanks, etc. They look like they’re from a child’s play set.
He smiles. There’s a honk from outside. He heads for the door.
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Ying’s Act 1 Opening Scene
What I learned is that I don’t have my Antagonist defined that well yet. But, I wrote the beats for the Antagonist’s first scene and moved on like instructed.
OPENING SCENE BEAT SHEET
EXT. JUNGE – NIGHT
Beginning: Tutor (Chinese) wanders away from the fortified city of Maoming into the jungle during a full moon where he is surrounded by wildlife including elephants, crocodiles, wild water buffalo, and more. He is dressed in an ungainly maid’s uniform performing katas that look like a dance. Scouts spot Tutor and one race back to the village.
EXT. TRIBE’S VILLAGE – DAWN
Middle: Ting and Long (11) hear the scouts report and collect their bows to capture Tutor. Ying (9) sees them and wants to come but the boys tell her to stay home and play with her doll.
EXT. HIDDEN GLADE – DAWN
Ting and Long come upon Tutor, who is unbeknownst to the boys about to commit suicide. Tutor surrenders easily hiding his knife in his large sleeves and is taken to the boys’ hideout and tied to a tree. The boys have put down their bows to tie up Tutor. As they walk back to their bows, a tiger jumps in front of them. The boys are frozen in shock. The tiger growling moves toward the boys. It slowly bends its legs to pounce, when Ying who secretly followed the boys jumps out of her hiding place and yells at the tiger. The tiger turns its attention and Ying, and she throws her doll at the tiger hitting it on the nose. This surprises the tiger and it momentarily cowers back, but then is even more aggressive heading toward Ying. This is just long enough for Tutor to escape by cutting the ropes with his hidden dagger. Tutor distracts the tiger by yelling and running toward it with a dagger. The tiger now turns and leaps to kill Tutor. Midair it is shot with two arrows (by the children’s fathers and tribe’s chiefs). The tiger still topples Tutor landing on top of him but dead.
BENLI (to Yan) I shot it first!
Yan (to Benli) Yes, but my arrow killed it!
Benli (chuckles)- Maybe!
Tutor wiggles out from under the tiger that is still in death convulsions.
Benli (in Chinese) Hello! Thank you!
Benli points at himself
BENLI (in Chinese) I’m Benli
Tutor (in Chinese)- I’m Tutor
BENLI (to kids)- Thank Tutor for saving your lives
YING- Nihow
LONG- Nihow
Ting pouts.
BENLI- Ting!
TING- He didn’t save my life!
BENLI grabs Ting by the ear and drags him over in front of Tutor
TING (begrudgingly)- Nihow
INT. SUN’S CASTLE – DAY
Beginning: Sun just finishes reading a scroll from the emperor.
SUN Lieutenant- Message from the emperor
Hands scroll to Sun
SUN- Yes! Duhu. Now, I will bringing these savages to heal. Let’s go celebrate!
Middle: Sun and Lieutenant lead a slaughter of defenseless native people farmers as if it is a fun game.
End:
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EXT. OAKLAND DOWNTOWN — DAY
FRAN, mid 50’s, former hippie, but now into shoppiing, shouts amongst a protest crowd where signs scream “GUNS KILL! SAVE OUR CHILDREN, TURN IN YOUR GUNS.”
FRAN
Guns kill, turn ‘em in. Guns kill, turn ‘em in.
A BYSTANDER yells back at her.
BYSTANDER
What about the constitution?
FRAN
This is the 21st century, not the 13th.
BYSTANDER
The Constitution was signed in 1787.
FRAN
Whatever.
BYSTANDER
Guns don’t kill, people do.
FRAN
But they’re victims of the racist system we allow. They need help. Therapy.
Fran eyes the Neiman Marcus in the distance. She turns to her friend, MAGGIE, 70’s, purple hair and whispers.
FRAN
They’re having a sale.
MAGGIE
You’re such a consumerist, Fran.
FRAN
I like shoes.
MAGGIE
This is the revolution, sister. Get over it.
FRAN
Don’t report me on Facebook, please.
Behind them, at a police precinct, Police Officers pay for gun-owners to voluntarily turn in their guns. As they load the guns into a wheel barrow, a volunteer, JIMMY, early 30’s, Fran’s son-in-law, steers it to the out-of-sight back door, where he sells off the guns to local gangs.
SANDY, late 20’s, skinny, outfitted in black except for his flamboyant face make-up, approaches with a group of Revolutionaries. They all dress alike and carry machine guns.
SANDY
(to Fran)
Good job, doc. You cleared the way for us.
FRAN
I did? Wow. I did.
SANDY
Go to my van, will ya? Bring me that box in the back.
FRAN
Sure, Sandy. Anything for a patient.
SANDY
Shut up, bitch. No one can know about that.
FRAN
Watch that anger of yours, Sandy. You know it’s a deep-seated issue.
Fran trots over and brings back a box and hands it to Sandy.
A Compatriot points to a cross down the street.
Sandy opens the box, pulls out a bomb and tosses it at the church.
Suddenly, Tacos, chips, refried beans and workers fly through the air.
FRAN
What do you have against Taco Bell?
SANDY
I thought it was a church. We’ve gotta destroy religion. But shit…it’s a fucking capitalist, bloodsucking corporation. Expropriates Mexican culture, exploits its workers, encourages climate change.
The Army cheers and shoots off guns at the anti-gun protest. Sandy gives Fran a thumbs up and leaves.
MAGGIE
You rock, Fran.
FRAN
I thought this was gonna be
peaceful.
The police arrest her, while Sandy and his compatriots escape.
INT. FRAN’S HOUSE, SUBURBIA – NIGHT
Fran drags into her house, having just paid her bail to get out of jail.
A party rages at her beautifully decorated suburban home.
Fran zeroes in on her daughter, RUTH, early 30’s, narcissist and party-goer.
FRAN
What are you doing?
RUTH
Loosen up, mom. Have some fun.
FRAN
I was fighting for the revolution and got arrested. I called you but got your voicemail.
RUTH
I don’t do voicemail, mom. So old school.
FRAN
This is my house, Ruth. Have some respect.
RUTH
It was Dad’s house, not yours. You capitalist bitch.
FRAN
He was run out of town by anti-Semites and had to go to Israele gave me the house. Don’t you remember?
RUTH
Whatever. Get over it mom. This place is mine as much as yours. It’s the people’s house.
Jimmy, the son-in-law, corrals all the guns he collected at the police station. He continues to sell them to gang members out the back door.
FRAN
Where did you learn this stuff, Ruth?
RUTH
University. Whadyathink?
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
Fran pleads with a JUDGE, 30’s.
FRAN
I didn’t realize what was happening, Judge.
JUDGE
Ignorance is no defense.
FRAN
But it should be. Look, Taco Bell is a capitalist corporate bloodsucker, right? They exploit workers, expropriate Latinix culture, cause climate change.
JUDGE
Climate change?
FRAN
Methane. From beans. You know.
JUDGE
Oh.
FRAN
Screw the corporations.
JUDGE
Yeah. Dismissed, based on good intentions.
Sandy and his revolutionaries enter the courthouse, but now it’s a huge army.
SANDY
Fuck the judiciary.
They shoot the Judge.
SANDY
This is now the People’s Republic of California. We’re in charge. You’re free, Fran.
Sandy and his army retreat.
FRAN
Maybe I should’ve reported him when he told me about killing that kitten.
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Ed’s Opening scenes.
What I learned from this assignment. Not writing literally for me is a first. However, I like the idea of writing key scenes first and then other scenes. It’s best to concentrate on the pivotal scenes and using the scene outline method really improves my structure and speed. I know they not great but that’s the point, not yet!
HENRY PELZNIKEL PROTAGONIST INTRODUCTION SCENE
INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULFILLMENT CENTER – DAY
BEGINNING the package from opening – pull back to The FC a crazy busy place, Christmas music , count down clock before Christmas. Cheerful yet employees working frantically
MIDDLE – Henry on the floor , taking pictures looking for selfie victims
END – Henry leaves scene – not well like / appreciated by employees – bosses kid syndrome
ALFREDA INTRODUCTION
INT. NORTH POLE – OFFICES – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
BEGINNING – Typical business meeting , dark room, projector /screen, except they are elves.
MIDDLE – Alfreda speaking to data , Mystery man complimenting Alfreda – the rest of the room resentment.
END -Henry and Samwise enter – Reveal Santa Claus – President and CEO
INT. PELZNIKEL TOYS FULFILLMENT CENTER – DAY
Joyful Christmas music. A single carton traverses a network of conveying belts. Above it all a large COUNTDOWN CLOCK to Christmas reads: 2 Days, twelve hours, fifty one minutes and nine seconds, then eight seconds , the 6 seconds.
The facility is massive network of pallet storage racks, forklifts, loading docks. Employees, adorned eld hats and Christmas necklaces, snatching toys from bins, boxing them up at lighting speed.
In the middle of it all, HENRY PELZNIKEL, 12. His father, and owner of the company, gave him the job of social media influencer during the Christmas break. Henry’s trying to making the most of the opportunity despite his lack of abilities.
Henry stops at a picking station. An employee is busy filling orders. She’s dressed like and elf.
HENRY
How about a selfie for my blog?
ELF-LIKE EMPLOYEE
Sorry Henry, I got to pack them up and ship them out. Pelznikel toys is what’s it all about.
HENRY
Thanks, anyway. I’ll tell my dad you’re working really hard.
Henry leaves the employee wondering if that was a threat or a compliment.
Another employee pushes a cart of toys past Henry so quickly he doesn’t even get a chance to ask.
There’s a forklift ahead, adorned with Christmas lights. It carriers a pallet of toy cartons on it. Driver, DARRYL, long time employee, stops.
DARRYL
You know it’s not safe for you to be out here, Henry.
HENRY
I need content for my social.
DARRYL
Yeah, how many followers you up to my man?
HENRY
Five hundred and three!
DARRYL
Alright, not bad, not bad. Come on over here, real quick.
Henry stands next to Darry, takes his phone out snaps a selfie with Darryl.
HENRY
Thanks, Bro.
Darryl drives off chuckling.
Henry posts.
ON HENRY’S PHONE
Social media post – @HenryPLovesToys, The photo of Henry and Darryl. Henry types, I’m going all out to get your toys for Christmas. #PelznikelToys, #Christmas, #AllOutHenryP
BACK TO HENRY
Quite proud of himself, Henry clicks ‘post’. He wanders off , head down attention to his phone. Employees are going out of their way to avoid him.
At the employee’s packing station, the elf dressed employee, Darryl, and the cart pusher watch as Henry walk away. They’re in the clear.
Elf dressed employee has her phone out.
ELF EMPLOYEE
Surprise, Surprise, Henry’s taking credit for our work. Merry Pelznikel Christmas.
CART PUSHER
I heard he’s paid like a manager
DARRYL
Boss’s kid. What you expect? Get back to work now.
The trio breaks up.
ANTAGONIST – ALFREDA INTRO SCENE
INT. NORTH POLE CASTLE – OFFICES – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
BEGINNING – By all appearances a normal business except those around the table are elves. There is a mystery figure at the head of the table, we can’t clearly see in the shadows. Only Hints.
MIDDLE – Alfreda is speaking to social media numbers , all up! Questioned by mystery figure.
END -reveal Santa he’s a CEO, not like a jolly old elf!
INT. NORTH POLE CASTLE – OFFICES – CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Blinds are pulled closed around the glass enclosed room. A large table, symbol of power and prestige. Seated around it, corporate executives. Convincingly dressed , except for the fact they are all elves.
On the far wall a large flat screen displays pie charts, bar graphs, and talking points. ALFREDA ELF, 40’s in human age. She is a North Pole legend feared more than respected. She speaks authoritatively to the data.
ALFREDA
As you can see across the board all our social media numbers are up.
Likes, up seventy two percent. Followers , up forty percent, Shares up eighteen percent.
Our CTR a respectable 2.8%
We’ve never been more influential in the role of Christmas around the globe. Promises made promises kept!
The other elves around the table smile politely avoiding eye contact with Alfreda.
In the darkness, from the other end of the table, identified by the highlight of white wavy hair, red sport coat, the figure clears his throat. A clear message to move on.
ALFREDA
The next item on the agenda, the much to long awaited and delayed test run of the new sleigh this afternoon.
The other elves at the table squirm in their seats. It’s a sore subject.
ALFREDA
Going down the punch list. Knut? Reindeer
The screen changes to sleigh preparation punch list.
KNUT ELF, 50’s , reviews the note pad in front of him.
KNUT
Stables and reindeer team are ready. All reins and assorted tack, fitted and secured.
Tow capacities validated along with velocity rates. We’re ready to fly.
ALFREDA
I should hope so. Vegard,I hope you have good news.
VEGARD ELF , 30’s, shifts nervously in his seat
ALFREDA
Vegard, Kris is waiting.
VEGARD
As you know the GPS override system has been a bit glitchy.
We’ve swamped out the guidance modulator and patched the internal
Drivers, however——
ALFREDA
——Enough of the gobly gook! Is the sleigh part of the North Pole guidance system or not?
The room silent , all eyes on poor Vegard
VEGARD
I believe so.
ALFREDA
Sorry, was that a yes?
VEGARD
Yes, Yes, it’ll function properly.
The shadowy figure at the end of the table weighs in. All eyes are on SANTA CLAUS, President and CEO North Pole. Salon coiffed white hair and beard. He’s dressed in red satin sport coat, tailored white button down shirt, casual blue jeans, Cole and Haan casual brown shoes. To the elves in this room they call him Kris.
SANTA CLAUS
To Alfreda’s point, Vegard, I won’t have the time to continually locate and correct
my course. You promised me last week, your words, not mine, was “Flawless operation.”
VEGARD
I’ll double check it right now.
Vegard get’s up and rushes out of the room. Blowing past Henry and Samwise standing outside the door.
HENRY
Who’s that?
SAMWISE
Elf on a shelf
Alfreda clicks on button on the remote. All the shades rise in unison. Henry and Samwise are caught dead loitering outside the room. Santa Claus motions them to come in.
Samwise
Penguin Poop. Don’t talk. Don’t speak a single syllable. Got it, kid?
HENRY
I won’t say a word.
Samwise snarls
HENRY F
From now on.
Samwise takes Henry by the hand and leads him into the conference room. Alfreda locks hawk eyes on them like there tiny prey.
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