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Day 14 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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6 Replies
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Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Great Action Set Piece!
Lesson 14: Writing Great Action Set Pieces
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Not easy. A lot of work. Unpacking, repacking. Writing great Action set pieces needs layering, contrast, juxtaposition, and it needs emotional arcs. Yikes. Trying to envision the fight scene was mind blowing. Especially never having written an Action movie. I kept thinking make it worse for both the protagonists and the antagonists. What can I do now? What can they/it/situation be more broken now? Who gets it next? It’s still a work-in-progress since this is a completely new story idea. Keep layering it, and finding new things. Such as the Veterans know Morse code, and tap out messages.
Logline:
When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.
Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.
I decided to try the first Action scene between the Veterans and the Pirates. It’s got to be exciting and emotional.
1. Build in the meaning.
Set-up: Pirate boats signal for help (about mid-day).
Pre-Action: Veterans and Families welcome them onboard, and give them food and drinks.
Action: Pirates take out their guns. Pirate pose as People Smuggler. They do have actual Refugees on their boats (who paid cash for the trip to Australia). Then, Pirates act as hijackers, demanding ransom money, whatever the Veterans have in their ‘meagre’ bank accounts. Pirates get the drugs down below deck. They are initially drug runners to Australia. Shot up into the air (which alerts the Veterans and Families in the lagoon). The cruise ship and lagoon are happening at the same time. The 2 Veterans tackle the Pirates, but a Pirate grabs a male Family member. He beats him up. Veterans stop fighting. One Veteran has managed to escape with some Family members. All have radios.
Pirates are scattered. Some of the Pirates have gone on one Pirate boat to the lagoon. Some of the Pirates have gone down below to get the drugs.
When a Pirate points a gun at a grandchild’s head, the Veteran that is in the dining room, says he’ll give whatever money he has and transfer on the Pirates laptop. Across the ship, the escaped Veteran hears over the radio, and starts climbing the internet pole. The Veteran says his bank details are in his suitcase in the luggage holding area. They need to go down below.
The second fight occurs in the luggage holding area.
Post-Action: As the Veteran and 2-3 Pirates go down below, they leave the Families (and grandchildren) safe for the time being.
Elevate:
What if…?
Crew Z doesn’t weld back the ship panels. A stray bullet hits the outside panel, water comes in. The ship starts to list. Refugees get invited for the Veterans’ next cruise. The Pirates want to take the cruise ship to Australia. Or, back to their seaside village.
Take to an extreme.
The grandchildren kill their Pirate captor and escape. The Pirate leaves the in-room bathroom, and kids plan an attack. The Pirate isn’t expecting anything from the grandchildren. They kick him in the nuts, head, take his gun. But, accidently pull the trigger. They know the layout of the ship, and hide in places/spaces, as they make their way up to the top deck.
Specific to character or environment.
As the ship lists, it goes on its side. The cruise ship fills with more water. People down below have to swim inside the hallways and get to the top. Pirates don’t know the layout, can’t swim to the top.
Shocking or Surprising.
Pirates plan to blow the ship up even if they get the mega ransom money. But, as the bomb ticks away, they get caught inside the cruise ship. Veterans lock them in various rooms. They drown, and also the cruise ship blows up. Or, it only blows a bigger hole, thus water comes in faster. Pirates drown faster inside the ship. The Pirate who said he would leave with his son and crew, stays to fight the other Pirates. Refugees fight the Pirates who say they will no longer take some of the Refugees to Australia.
Go opposite.
Refugees don’t need to go to Australia if they are invited to go on a worldwide cruise with the Veterans. Veterans invite the Pirates to go on a worldwide cruise. Veterans take the drugs.
What haven’t we seen?
Old Veterans winning the mega lottery, buying a cruise ship, sailing, getting attacked by Pirates, South-East Asian Refugees, helping the Veterans.
2. Make the Action Unique.
List your 9 Places For
Uniqueness.Environment: On the
cruise ship’s dining room on the upper deck. Everyone eats and drinks. Fight
starts inside, then goes to the outside deck. Also, some of the younger
Pirates drank hard lemonade, and are tipsy. One Veteran can see across the
ship, to the other Veteran (who escaped) climbing the internet pole.Rules: Veterans have
to scheme together, be as tricky as the Pirates. They know the ship’s
layout and all its quirks. Like one Veteran can disable the internet.
Villain: Pirates are
good at trickery. They posed as People Smugglers to get Refugees onto
their boat (plus get cash). When they get on the cruise ship, they acted
like they really wanted to hijack the ship for ransom money. But, their
initial mission was get the drugs on the ship, and deliver them to Australia
(as Refugee boats sailing to Australia). Not the first time they have done
this. Part of a bigger drug network.Mission: Veterans
save the grandchildren. Take the Pirates down below into the luggage
holding area, away from the grandchildren. Where a second fight happens,
when the lights go out. Pirates shoot all around, injuring one Pirate,
killing one Pirate. Veterans duck, go to the floor, especially since they
don’t have guns. They know to instinctively do this. One Veteran gets the
gun from the Pirate who was killed.Struggle: Veterans are
taken by surprise when the Pirates shoot their guns into the air. Veterans
don’t have guns. They tackle initially in the dining room. Food and drinks
go everywhere. Like a food fight. Everyone is covered in food and drinks.
Slip, slide across the floor. Pirates accidentally shoot up the dining
room, windows smashed and liquor cabinet smashed, broken glass everywhere.
One Veteran takes a piece of broken glass as a weapon, and a carving
knife. Hides them in his socks, folds sock over, so doesn’t cut into his
skin.Unique Skillset: Veterans
know the layout in the luggage holding area, know where to hide/duck, as
the Pirates start shooting. One Veteran already there, the other shows up
(the one who climbed the pole to disconnect the internet). Veterans know Morse code.Meaning: A dream of a
worldwide cruise bursts when the Pirates take out their guns. Their cruise
ship no longer has meaning when it starts sinking and Veterans must save
their Families and Refugees off the ship. First, the main mission is to get
the Pirates away from the grandchildren. Second, try to disarm the Pirates
in the luggage area.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Allies: A Refugee trips
a Pirate, so he slips on the broken glass. Cuts his hand, so he can hold
his AK-47 properly. A Crew member tosses hot coffee into a Pirate’s face. The
grandchildren and the Refugee’s children became instant friends when they
were drinking and eating. One Refugee child gathers the other
grandchildren away from the Pirates, since the Refugee child knows about
danger, but the grandchildren don’t. Maybe hide in the bathroom in the
dining room.Weapon: Broken
glass, carving knife. Shark spears, lawn bowling balls, baseball bats,
knives, fire extinguishers, etc.3. Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
Surprise: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are surprised when the Pirates take out their guns, especially since everyone was talking, laughing, eating, drinking, relaxing. Pirates and Refugees saying that were so relieved to be on a cruise ship sinking their boats had malfunctioned. Are the Pirates for real? Are they holding real guns? What kind of gratitude is this, after saving your lives?
Shock: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are shocked when the Pirates fire their guns into the air. They realized the guns are real, and the Pirates mean business. This isn’t a fake hijacking. How could the Pirates do this when we saved them from their malfunctioning boats?
Suspense: A crew member says the others are at the lagoon. Is this Crew X, the traitor, working for the Pirates? Or, an innocent comment? One Pirate boat races to the lagoon. Veterans, Families and Crew know that loved ones are at the lagoon. Will they survive an attack with this Pirate boats, men with itchy fingers on triggers? Will their loved ones be prepared to fight, or to escape?
Anxiety: The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees now realize the cruise ship is under attack. Pirates have hijacked the cruise ship for real. They want ransom money to be transferred onto their laptop. One Veteran explains that all their money went into buying the old cruise ship. A Veteran makes it to the radio, a Pirate chases him, and smashes the radio.
Surprise: One Pirate leader calls for Crew Z to get the drugs hidden down below. Half of the Pirates still on the cruise ship go down below. The Veterans, Families, Crew and Refugees are surprised the cruise ship was used as a drug ship. Wasn’t this cruise ship delisted and going to India to be dismantled/used for scrap?
Fear: A Pirate tortures/beat up one male Family member for whatever ‘meagre’ money the Veterans have. Do the money transfer now or else. A fight ensues between the Pirates, Veterans, some Crew, some Family members. A Pirate point s a gun at a grandchild’s head. Pirates take control, again. During the fight, one Veteran takes some Family members away from the dining room deck.
Relief: The Veteran agrees to give the Pirates the ‘meagre’ ransom money, says to stop pointing the gun at the grandchild’s head. But, the bank details are in a suitcase in the luggage holding area, down below. Pirate stops holding a gun to the grandchild’s head. They leave the grandchildren alone for the time being. Two Pirates and the Veteran go down below. Only one young, but tipsy Pirate stays on deck. Get danger away from the grandchildren.
Danger: What happens down below in the luggage holding area? Does the Veteran have his bank details in his suitcase? The Veteran starts the money transfer, but the internet gets disabled. Pirates don’t understand why that is. The other Veteran had climbed up the pole to disable the internet. And, also the lights. So, the lights down below go out. Pitch black, but the Veteran knows the layout of the cruise ship. Pirates shoot anything (if they hear it). So, they end up killing one of their own, and injuring another. The Veteran instantly/ instinctively ducks, then tackles in the dark. The other Veteran (who climbed the communication pole) enters, crouches, and tackles a Pirate. He has a broken glass, and slices the Pirate’s ankle. Pirates shoot the ship, one bullet goes through an interior wall into the engine room. A bullet hits the engine. A fire starts.
Excitement: The two Veterans are taking out the Pirates one by one. They tap out the Morse code to communicate with each other (another unique skill they have). Pirates don’t know Morse code. They team up to tackle one Pirate.
Adrenaline: They Morse code each other to escape by the other exit door and lock the Pirates in. They race (footsteps clang), Pirates point their guns at them. The Veterans race towards the door. Then, the lights come on. The two Pirates from the lagoon chase enter, and take control, again. One Pirate got eaten by a shark during the lagoon chase (so, now only two Pirates came back).
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Sung-Ju Lee.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by
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Brad’s Great (well, pretty good) Action Set Piece. (Not doing this in script form because it’s not the screenplay on which I’m currently working; I’m just formulating ideas for this story.)
What I learned from this assignment is how to bookend action scenes with purpose and to clearly understand why, for the characters, there’s a need for action.
PRE-ACTION: Carlos and Aliyah have decided seeing the bag thief get killed by the truck isn’t justice enough. They want to teach the “distractor” a lesson. They’re riding the trains of Amsterdam looking for him. Neither of them has a violent past so this is new territory for them. They’re unsure if they’ll even be able to do it — if they find him. This will be their test. They also, at this point, believe it will satisfy their need to see justice.
ACTION: They spot the distractor alone on a train. They start to verbally accost him; then Aliyah spits on him. That begins the physical confrontation. He tries to get up but Carlos just starts pummeling him in his seat. Each escalation reveals their increasingly violent capabilities. Aliyah grabs his feet and drags him to the door. They go to throw him off the moving train but he grabs Carlos and they tumble out together. Aliyah then jumps. When Carlos and the distractor land, the train severs the distractor’s hand. No sympathy from Carlos and Aliyah at this point. They end up throwing him into a moving train on adjacent tracks.
POST-ACTION: They are now bonafide killers. And oh how they like it — the feeling of justice and power.
9 PLACES FOR UNIQUENESS:
-Environment: Between train tracks with trains going both ways on either side of the fight.
-Rules: Well, the rules just got tossed. They were planning to just rough him up. They kill him.
-Villain: He carries a ridiculous number of shopping bags, which he uses to distract victims.
-Mission: To find the distractor and vent their anger by beating him up.
Struggle: The distractor drags Carlos off the moving train.
-Unique skillet: N/A
-Meaning: We never know the darkness and violence of which we’re capable.
-Allies: The train is empty other than for the distractor so I don’t see allies playing a role in this scene
-Weapon: It starts with fists and kicking but once they’e off the train it’s clearly a fight to the death. Metal debris along the train tracks become weapons.
STRATEGIES TO ELEVATE:
-What if instead of losing his hand when he lands along the tracks, the villain is already one-handed, and has a metal claw hand for the other.
-Take to an extreme: Maybe the fight ends up between the tracks and a train goes over them while they’re fighting!!!! Yes! I like that!!!
-Character development: Well, they go from newlyweds to murderers in this scene, so that’s probably enough character arc for one scene already.
-Shocking or Surprising: It is surprising when they unleash on the guy and shocking when they fall out of the train. Also shocking when Aliyah jumps. I think taking between the tracks so a train goes over them while they’re wrestling and Aliyah is watching through the speeding train wheels is the trick. Maybe it’s during this section that the dude’s hand gets severed by the train. And then when the fight is over the the guy is dead, Aliyah is standing there holding his severed hand. Yep! I like it. That’s the plan.
-Go Opposite. Maybe the train isn’t empty; it’s full. So there are witnesses. Maybe they take the guy’s cell phone so they have his identity — and can find other thieves with whom he works. (That might work.).
-What haven’t we seen? Aliyah grabbing the end of the train and scooping up Carlos at the end of the fight. — Meh, that might not work. Train’s going too fast.
THE 9 EMOTIONS:
-Anxiety: Perhaps we see the distractor in action in a previous scene where we see he’s violent?? When they walk into the train car where he is, have audience see him before they do. Tension as they get closer and closer
-Fear: Their mission is to beat him up. Make sure audience knows this.
-Relief: They pretty much beat the crap out of him and are able to drag him to the door, so it seems they accomplished their mission.
-Surprise: The dude has enough gas left to grab Carlos and drag him off the train
Danger: I can leave them hanging out the train door, teetering between falling and not.
-Excitement: When they’re under the train, maybe Carlos grabs the guy’s arm and shoves it under the moving train wheels.
-Adrenaline: Certainly a train speeding over two people fighting between the tracks will do the trick.
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Kathy’s Great Action Set Piece!
What I learned doing this assignment is I can do this!
After a NYC detective overhears a plot to sell stolen antiques, she discovers a larger conspiracy to blow up the UN building just as a major hurricane hits the city.
ASSIGNMENT:
Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.
PRE-ACTION/SET UP: Thieves steal a valuable painting from a La Guardia cargo bin. (escape/evade)
Danny’s assigned the case. Danny is determined to find them. (meaning)
Follows the trail, traces fingerprints ( forensic work that he learned as a teenager), finds one off the thieves. Interrogates him, has to let him go. Not enough proof since he is an airline employee. (interrogation)
(MIDPOINT:) Thief tells the mob boss about Danny. They sideswipe him on a highway but he’s not hurt. (danger then relief)
The terrorists decide to kidnap Danny’s wife. (danger)
ACTION: They watch the house until she drives up with the kids in the back seat. She opens the garage door, drives in and, as the garage door is closing, the thieves stop it. (surprise)
They muscle her and the kids into the house. The kids are locked in an upstairs bedroom.(suspense) The man slaps her (shock), then gets out a knife. He drags the point across her neck as she sobs. (danger, fear) Then he stops and starts to climb the steps. (danger, suspense) She yells for him to stop, to not hurt the kids. He walks back. (relief) She tells the men that Danny overheard the rug store owner’s conversation and the antique panel at the auction was stolen from a museum in Iraq. (reveal)
The man writes a ransom note and leaves it on the kitchen table for Danny. (suspense) They bind her hands and push her into their car and drive off. (surprise, extortion)
The storm is off Norfolk and heading north. Will hit NYC in 2 days. (danger)
(SECOND TURNING POINT:) Danny arrives home, sees the open garage door, gets out of his car, runs in the house, past the ransom note, goes into the hall, hears the kids yelling upstairs, opens the bedroom door, cuts the duct tape binding their hands, frees them (relief), goes back downstairs, quizzes the kids, writes down their descriptions of the men, finds the note ( test of relationship), has it checked for prints (forensics), ID’s the print (reveal), finds the mob boss ( who fits the kid’s description) owns a warehouse, takes a squad there (action).
Gun fight with the thieves. (shootout, excitement, adrenaline)
Man holds his wife, threatens to shoot her. (danger) Danny puts down his M16 as asked but has a handgun hidden behind it. (surprise, twist) Shoots the man who dies, saves his wife who runs into his arms. (relief)
POST-ACTION: Finds stolen painting from LGA cargo plus more antiques, finds invoices with the rug store letterhead. (reveals something new)
Interrogates rug store owner. He says nothing, wants
his lawyer. (interrogation, suspense) -
David’s Great Action Set Piece!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”; That it works to keep in mind the conventions and techniques that were nicely summarized in this lesson. One can keep worrying a scene, apply the lessons, and come up with a story that isn’t too bad.
INT – FBI OFFICE – DAY
A typical office with desks efficiently arranged. Large windows. MEN’s and WOMEN”s.
Bulletin boards headed:
FBI REGIONAL OFFICE with state map and region outlined. Colored pins.
FBI MOST WANTED – with wanted posters.
LOCAL WANTED – with wanted posters.
Agents sitting, talking, standing around wearing jackets and shoulder holsters with or without their Glocks. Secretaries on phones, typing, talking to each other. A very relaxed but efficient office.
SAUL is sitting at a desk talking to another agent. He wears his shoulder holster, but no gun.
A shadow falls across the windows and darkens the office. A large spaceship moves slowly over the building and partly visible in the windows.
Everyone stops. Looks up out the window. Anxious, fearful or angry but not panicked. Yet.
The spaceship stops and hovers.
Over the next minute anxiety turns to hysteria.
VOICES (frightened, disbelieving)
“It’s stopping”, “What do they want?’, “It can’t be happening again.”, “There was no warning.”.
Another minute. An agent walks into the MEN’s.
(continuous)
INT – THE MEN’S – DAY
and stands in front of a mirror to straighten his tie. He checks for a chambered round. He walks into a stall and closes the door. A GUNSHOT and blood spatters the back wall of the stall.
(continuous)
INT – FBI OFFICE – DAY
Everyone looks at the MEN’s. Gasps, suppressed screams, people putting their faces in their hands. A secretary pulls a pill box from her purse and pours a few pills on her desk. She takes one. A few seconds later, her lips turn blue and she dies on her desk. Several secretaries stagger over. They each take one of the remaining pills in their hands and look at each other, waiting. An agent unlocks his desk, removes his Glock and looks at the MEN’s.
Saul is paralyzed at his desk, looking as if he is ready to throw up.
The shadow moves on and disappears.
The office gasps in relief, hysterical laughter, several people run into the rest rooms holding their mouths. Slowly, everyone starts working again.
Saul is shaking so badly he can barely pick up his phone when it rings.
SAUL (voice shaking)
“Hi Sweetie.”
“Yes Honey, we noticed it. “
“No. We weren’t scared. We’re trained to face danger.”
“I don’t know why they stopped. Who knows why they do anything?”
“No. Let me do it. “
“Yes, absolutely. I really want to pick her up. I don’t know why, but I really want to see Joann right now.”
Saul starts to leave the room. An agent points to his shoulder. Sheepishly, Saul takes his Glock from his desk and puts it in his shoulder holster along with two-magazines.
MEANING. The Aliens have done something in the past that frightens people to the point that they may commit suicide at the mere presence of Aliens. Saul is not a super-agent. He is a family man and realizes how much he loves his daughter.
EXT – STREET BY SCHOOL – DAY
Saul is driving, still shaky, but smiling in relief. He sees his daughter’s school and smiles. He turns the corner and sees.
A demonstration. Dozens of people with signs, milling around. The signs read:
“I WANT CHILDREN TOO”: “ALIENS GO HOME”: “KILLERS”: “GODLESS MONSTERS”:
“STOP EATING US”.
Several cop cars with flashing lights. Children and teachers in the courtyard looking with excitement or apprehension on the activity. There is a fence around the school and a locked gate.
Saul runs to a cop and frantically starts talking. The cop reassures him, shakes his head and Saul relaxes and grins.
A shadow moves over the area. Everyone hushes. Looks up. Fear or anger in their faces and postures. The shadow keeps moving and everyone begins to relax.
COP (looking up)
When are those bastards going to leave?
SAUL
Be thankful they aren’t killing people anymore.
COP
Tell me about it. I was in a bar when they hit. Midnight, just like they said. Guy started screaming and banging his head on the floor. The guys that didn’t run out stood it as long we could. The bartender blew the guy’s brains out. We couldn’t even drink after that.
SAUL
We all saw exterminations. Thank God my daughter missed it. I’m here to pick her up.
COP
Can’t say I missed some of the people what got exterminated. They were the worst. We never would’ve put them away. Even a lot of the politicians needed it. We sure found out a lot afterwards.
SAUL
Y’know, the funny thing is that most of the people I’ve met aren’t sorry for who or what they supported. People made the worst out to be heroes.
COP
They give me the creeps not even knowing what they look like. I can’t complain about some of the results. Almost no armies or prisons and I’ll retire after 15-years on the force. Going to Florida with my wife and kids.
The demonstrators are noisy but not belligerent. About a half-dozen demonstrators are wearing a semi uniform of long silver jackets, distinctive silk scarfs and red caps. These are members of an antiAlien Cult.
RUTH, wearing a red cap, is speaking into a lapel mic. The red caps start moving toward her. She is looking around, assessing the situation. Too many cops. She shakes her head and the red caps begin to move away and leave.
Then, all the cop cars, except one, begin to leave. Ruth and the red caps stop moving. Ruth talks into her mic and the red caps begin to converge on her. Ruth keeps looking. Then she nods. The red caps begin chanting.
“EXTERMINATE ALIENS. EXTERMINATE VER-MEN. EXTERMINATE ALIENS. EXTERMINATE VER-MEN.”.
The children now become frightened. The teachers begin herding the children back into the school. The cop moves into the red caps trying to disburse them.
Ruth pulls a gun, puts the muzzle against the cop’s chest and shoots him.
All the red caps pull their scarves up to hide their faces. They pull guns and start shooting the teachers and children, and anyone else that gets in their way. It’s carnage. Bodies falling everywhere. Blood running on the ground.
Saul draws his pistol and tries to fire but can’t pull the trigger. He forgot to release the safety. Then, training kicks in. He starts shooting.
THUNK, THUNK, THUNK.
Saul misses with the first two. The third shot blows off the jaw of the Cultist in a spray of blood. He has drawn most of the Cultist’s fire but a few are still after the children. Saul shoots one more.
Another Cultist fires point-blank at Saul’s back. His weapon is empty. He leaps on Saul and gets him in a headlock. Saul gets one shot off that hits a cultist, LAURA, in the leg. She is helped away. Saul flips the man on his back and chops his throat.
A Cultist shoots the lock off the fence and enters the school yard, shooting as she moves. Children and teachers are going down. Saul moves in after her. Saul and her exchange shots ducking behind the gym equipment. Saul’s Glock is empty. He reaches for his last magazine.
The Cultist loads a fresh magazine. A child is panicked and runs in front of the Cultist who aims at her. The child runs into a corner and is trapped. The Cultist is six-feet away and can’t miss. Saul throws himself in front of the child. The Cultist smiles and starts to pull the trigger.
The Cultist jerks around – a hole in her chest. The side of her face blows away.
The camera zooms out to show the cop, lying on the ground, firing his gun. He dies.
Saul grabs the child.
SAUL:
Joann, stay down.
Ruth is watching the situation. Sirens sound. Flashing lights are coming down the streets. Ruth speaks into her mic and the red caps run to waiting cars and pile in. Ruth begins to enter but she looks at Saul and Joann and takes aim. She has a MAC 10 on full auto. Saul sees this.
Saul hugs Joann and rolls over a pony wall next to the school building just as bullets tear up the area where they had just been.
Ruth gets in the car and PEELS away.
Saul gets up hugging Joann like crazy. Suddenly, brakes SQUEAL. Tires SCREECH. Ruth’s car backs up and SLAMS to a stop. Ruth opens up with an UZI. The pony wall is now a trap. Bullets ricochet off the walls. Joann is all bloody and Saul badly wounded.
Ruth takes off again.
SAUL
Baby. I’m coming. (Starts crawling to her).
JOANN
Daddy, please, it hurts.
SAUL
I’ve got you.
JOANN
Daddy you’re hurt too. (she touches the blood pouring from Saul’s wounds).
SAUL
Stay with me baby. (Joann dies). Joann, please.
MEANING. There is a human Cult that is just as bad as the Aliens. There is more information about what the Aliens did. The actions of the Aliens destroyed much of the evil in the world. Saul will be intensely committed to destroying the Cult after he recovers.
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Janeen’s Great Action Set Piece!
What I learned doing this assignment is that adding the emotion does give meaning to the action as does showing the reactions of those watching the action scene unfold.
I added meaning to the scene which was action that was meaningful for my hero, Nick, but no one else. I added Ivy trying to decide if Nick is with the rogue FBI agent (one of the kidnappers) or if he was trying to save the parents or kidnap them himself. After watching the action scene, she realized that Nick was definitely not with the rogue FBI agent, but she still isn’t sure if he’s a good guy or not. She is sure that he’s taking good care of the parents and that she likes him and hopes he’s a good guy.
2. For expediency, I used a scene I had previously used in Lesson 11 and didn’t make any changes to the action at this point. I will need to fill in details later.
3. Modifications to the outline of my action set:
A. i added having Ivy positively deciding Nick is one of the good guys.
B. I had Ivy disable her own car so the couple she traded vehicles with can’t drive it.
C. Added reactions of all concerned to Nick’s performance in the fight scene.
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Denice’s Great Action Set Piece
What I learned doing this assignment is to take my time in evaluating and elevating each step. They all lead to better scenes that I hadn’t thought of before.
Outline:
1. Manchineel and associate kill bodyguard, kidnap Triple’s mom during a recess
in her concert underground at the Wielcizka Salt Mine. M impersonates her
mom and leaves.
2. Triple arrives, mistakes Manchineel for her mother, gives chase.
3. Manchineel insults Triple.
4. Triple spots Mom’s wedding ring on M, attacks.
5. Fight and chase scenes take place in underground caverns, stairs
6. Manchineel teases her, slaps her, easily uses karate to overcome Triple’s
inexperience with an assassin
7. Triple uses telekinesis and Capoeira, a Brazilian martial art. Lands a kick on
stairs that sends M into a briny lake. M can’t swim. Triple saves her life.
8. M flees into elevator, Triple on her heels. They fight.
9. Mancineel beats on Triple. Blinds her with a scarf. Tries to poison Triple
with her earring.
10. Triple remembers the robotic cheetah on her wrist. Shoves it in M’s face.
11. Her beautiful face bleeding, Manchineel drops the earring, flees out the
elevator, the building, into a waiting car.
12. Triple, wounded, tries, fails to catch her.
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