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Day 11 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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8 Replies
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Brad’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned from this assignment is to consider the use of transition (or no transition) to pace scenes that contain a shocking development.
Scene Outline: Carlos and Aliyah are following another dipper thief, this time a female. When she gets to a secluded stairwell where they are ready to kill her, Carlos freezes (Surprise) He can’t get himself to crush her skull with the pipe he usually uses. But Aliyah has already pulled out the hand axe she uses to chop off the thieves hands. The thief sees the axe, realizes she’s about to be attacked, and whips out a knife. (Surprise.). Aliyah and the woman end up in a knife versus axe battle. It’s so fast and chaotic, Carlos can’t find a spot to intervene and take her out. When he finally takes a swing with the pipe, it hits part of the stair railing, launching it out of his hand and down the stair well. He’s now without a weapon. The woman lands several slashes across Aliyah, and Aliyah lands a few glancing blows of her own. (Suspense – who will win?). As Aliyah takes a swing at the woman, she loses her grip on the axe and it flies down the stairs. Now she’s defenseless against the woman with the knife. (More suspense). As Aliyah dodges swipes of the knife, Carlos retrieves the axe and buries it in the woman’s head (shock). They start to run away, but Aliyah takes the axe from Carlos, goes back, and hacks of the woman’s hands — her signature. (More shock)
Int. Apartment Building Stairwell – Day
The thief climbs the stairs. Aliyah and Carlos follow a half-floor behind, pretending to be looking for an address. Aliyah speeds up to catch the woman.
Aliyah: Excuse me, do you know if there’s unit for sale here?
Carlos closes in behind the woman and pulls out the pipe. As he raises his arm to strike, Aliyah reaches for her axe. But Carlos freezes. He can’t do it. Seeing the axe, the woman realizes something is amiss. She looks back at Carlos, and pulls out a huge knife. She swings at Carlos and he stumbles backwards down the stairs. Then she pivots and without missing a beat swipes at Aliyah. The knife slices off part of Aliyah’s neck scarf.
Aliyah: Hit her!
Carlos gets his footing and starts back up the stairs. Aliyah and the woman exchange swipes – axe versus knife. The woman lands the blade across Aliyah’s shoulder, slicing open her shirt and it’s quickly soaked in blood. Carlos tries to step in with the pipe, but each time he gets in position, they two women shift and he can’t get a good angle on the thief. Aliyah lands the blade of the axe low into the woman’s hip. She screams, and takes another slice out of Aliyah. Carlos gets low to hit the woman’s knee, but on the backswing the pipe collides with the stair railing and falls several stories down between the stairs. He and Aliyah exchange a terrified look. The woman lands the knife across Carlos’ back, slicing him, and then turns back to Aliyah. Aliyah has a clean shot and swings the axe toward the thief’s neck, but loses her grip and the axe goes flying. Now she’s toast. The woman backs her up in the stairway until she’s flat against the concrete wall. Face to face, she spits in Aliyah’s face, flips the knife in her hand so she can stab instead of slice and is just about to plunge the knife into Aliyahs’ heart when – smack – Carlos buries the axe into the top of her head. She’s dead. In a panic, our bleeding heroes turn to escape.
Aliyah: We’re not done.
Aliyah methodically walks back up the dead woman, and with two quick blows severs her hands.
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Janeen’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is that one “scene” expands a lot while building in Suspense and Surprise.
1. I chose the following scene from my Action/Comedy
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Nick, suspecting someone he sees while waiting for the President’s Mom at the bathroom is a villain, hustles them out a different door and back to the car where he left the radio. The hero successfully fights the agents who follow them having the parents get in the car. Nick is again, successful and they get away.
2. Scene Outline:
NICK hustles the President’s parents (RUDY and HOLLY) toward a Family Bathroom. They resist. Nick insists. Rudy and Holly give each other apologetic looks and shuffle into the bathroom.
Nick walks slowly around the area near the Family Bathroom, looking for the kidnappers.
The FBI agent and kidnappers enter the building and look around, not recognizing Nick in street clothes. (Surprise)
Outside, IVY pulls into the parking lot, takes a quick photo of the kidnappers’ plates and parks well away from them. She dials her phone.
Inside, the kidnappers check out the various shops and hallways, looking for the parents.
Nick checks his watch and taps the door to the Family Bathroom, whispering for the parents to hurry it up. Rudy and Holly make smart retorts and bicker inside.
Ivy gives her inside gal the license plate and says to report it stolen and disable it. Hurry!
Inside, one of the kidnappers goes in the Men’s room. There is a general rumble of “What the hell?” From inside. He emerges, shaking his head.
Nick moves to guard the Family Bathroom, snatching up a kid’s stray mitten from the floor. (Suspense)
The FBI agent goes in the Women’s bathroom and there is general mayhem. He announces himself as FBI, looks under the doors of all of the stalls, still holding his badge in front of him like a shield, then exits the bathroom.
The FBI agent spots Nick lingering in front of the Family Bathroom and asks him who’s in there. Nick fiddles with the kid’s glove, The wife and kids, he says. It’ll be a while.
Inside the Family Bathroom, Holly listens at the door as Rudy stands in front of the toilet. Rudy and Holly freeze when they hear the conversation outside – Rudy, midstream. Then Holly does an imitation of a whiny kid. Rudy indicates he’s struggling to finish the job.
The kidnappers move to another part of the Rest Stop. Nick taps on the door and says hurry it up in there. (Suspense)
Outside, Ivy negotiates with a young couple in an old van to trade vehicles. Is hers hot? No, she just needs a van. She gives them lots of hundreds and gets their phone number, saying she’ll meet up with them the next day and exchange back asking them not to smoke pot in her car because she’s Secret Service. (Surprise)
Holly and Rudy emerge from the bathroom and Nick hustles them out a back door and into the back seat of the car. He turns and sees the kidnappers heading toward the exit doors of the Rest Area and heads back toward the door, skirting the area so he’s not going directly from the car.
Ivy is on high alert, watching. (Suspense)
Nick waits until the kidnappers are outside and then begins to kick butt.
Holly and Rudy are worried when it looks like Nick is outnumbered.
Ivy debates joining the fray, contacts her inside gal and asks if the car is disabled. Yes. Asks her to send her a picture of Santa out of costume. Nudes? (Shock) No, his face.
Nick takes down all of the bad guys, throws their guns under some cars as he hustles back to his car.
Holly and Rudy are shocked at his skills.
Inside the car, Nick checks on the parents and then hightails it out of the parking lot. Holly warns him that the kidnappers are watching them leave. Damn, we’ll have to change cars again.
Ivy sits in the van, waiting.
SCENE (Draft)
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
NICK hustles the President’s parents (RUDY and HOLLY) toward a Family Bathroom. They resist.
RUDY
We don’t do this together.HOLLY
Some things are private no matterhow long you’ve been married.
RUDY Yeah, private.
Holly rolls her eyes indicating Rudy and shakes her head.
HOLLY (conspiratorial whisper)
Especially, now that he’s older.
NICK
I can’t have you in bathrooms withother people and I can only guard one door. Now get in there and do what you’ve got to do. Fast.
Rudy and Holly give each other apologetic looks and shuffle into the bathroom.
Nick walks slowly around the area near the Family Bathroom, surreptitiously looking for the kidnappers.
The FBI agent and kidnappers enter the building and look around, not recognizing Nick in street clothes. (Surprise)
EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
IVY pulls into the parking lot, takes a quick photo of the kidnappers’ plates and parks well away from them. She dials her phone.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
The kidnappers check out the various shops and hallways, looking for the parents. (Suspense)
Nick checks his watch and taps the door to the Family Bathroom.
NICK
Hurry it up in there! We’ve gotcompany.
HOLLY
We’re doing the best we can.RUDY
We were, until he scared the crapout of me by knocking on the door.
HOLLY Crap? Really?
RUDY
You heard what I was doing and whatI’m not doing now. Hush up so I can finish here.
EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
IVY (into phone)
Three seven four, got it?
Got it.
JOY (O.S.)
IVY
Report it stolen and disable it.Fast!
JOY On it.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
One of the kidnappers goes in the Men’s room. There is a general rumble of “What the hell?” From inside. He emerges, shaking his head.
Nick moves to guard the Family Bathroom, snatching up a kid’s stray mitten from the floor. (Suspense)
INT. WOMEN’S BATHROOM – NIGHT
The FBI agent enters the Women’s bathroom causing consternation and fear in the occupants.
AGENT DASHER
FBI. Nothing to fear. Just checking something.He looks under the doors of all of the stalls, women inside shriek, others shrink from him as he moves through the crowded bathroom. Still holding his badge in front of him like a shield, he exits the bathroom.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
The FBI agent spots Nick lingering in front of the Family Bathroom.
AGENT DASHER Who’s in there?
INT. FAMILY BATHROOM – NIGHT
Holly listens at the door as Rudy stands in front of the toilet. Rudy and Holly freeze when they hear the conversation outside – Rudy, midstream.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
NICK
My wife and the kids. They’ll be a while.Dasher doesn’t look convinced. Nick fiddles with the kid- sized mitten.
NICK (CONT’D)
Two diaper changes — the bad kind.Dasher grimaces.
INT. FAMILY BATHROOM – NIGHTHolly does an imitation of a whiny kid. Rudy indicates he’s struggling to finish the job.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
The kidnappers move to another part of the Rest Stop. Nick taps on the door.
NICK
Hurry it up in there. They’re gone.INT. FAMILY BATHROOM – NIGHT
Rudy groans and Holly rolls her eyes.EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Ivy stands by a young couple in an old van, proffering her keys.
IVY
Even trade and I’ll throw in gasmoney. I just need it until tomorrow.
VAN GUY Is it hot?
IVY
No, I just need for a quick run friends. Sleep night. I’ll be a different vehicle to pick up some
in my car for the back in the morning with the van.The young couple considers, doubting.
IVY (CONT’D) Alright, truth. There’s a really hot guy waiting for me just over there. I want to bang him all night and he’s willing. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for me because he’s got the biggest dick I’ve ever seen, but he’s got a bad back so we can’t do it in our cars — or in a stall.
She hands over another $100 bill.
IVY (CONT’D)
New sheets.
They consider. She hands over another couple of bills.
IVY (CONT’D) New mattress.
The guy pockets the money and they swap keys. Ivy flashes her badge.
IVY (CONT’D)
No smoking dope in my car. I’m SecretService. Now scoot!
The couple looks shocked, but hustles away.
INT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Holly and Rudy emerge from the bathroom and Nick hustles them out a back door.
EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Nick hustles Holly and Rudy into the back seat of the car.
He turns and sees the kidnappers heading toward the exit doors.NICK
Don’t even think about getting out of this car. I’ll be backHolly giggles and Rudy groans at her.
Nick skirts the parking lot and then heads back toward the rest area door.
Ivy stands next to the van, on high alert, watching Nick.
Nick waits until the kidnappers are outside and then begins to kick butt.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Holly and Rudy watch from the car and are worried when it looks like Nick is outnumbered.
INT. VAN – NIGHT
Ivy debates joining the fray from inside the van. She makes a call.
IVY
Is the car disabled?JOY Yes.
IVY
Send me a picture of Santa, out ofcostume.
JOY Nudes?
IVY (shocked)
No! No, I want a picture of his face.
She hangs up and looks from her phone to the fight to her phone again.
EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Nick takes down all of the bad guys using a variety of military fighting skills and great awareness of his surroundings.
When the bad guys are subdued and groaning, he gathers up their guns and throws them under various cars as he hustles back to his car.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Holly and Rudy are shocked at his skills.HOLLY He’s good.
RUDY
No kidding. Even better than whenhe was Santa. Nick enters the car.
NICK You two alright?
HOLLY We’re fine. Are you?
NICK
We’re all good. Buckle up.Nick hightails it out of the parking lot. Holly looks out the back window.
HOLLY
The kidnappers are watching us.NICK
Damn, we’ll have to change cars again.EXT. REST STOP – NIGHT
Ivy sits in the van, watching the bad guys gathering their wits. Waiting.
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David’s Level 2 Action Emotions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Suspense, surprise and shock is a lot harder than anxiety, fear and relief. Part of the problem was being influenced by previous iterations of the scenes. Also, keeping the focus on the emotions of the audience and not the characters. It helped to go over back assignments to reorient.
OPENING. – FBI OFFICE – FBI agents just doing their boring jobs.
Desks and cubicles neatly organized. Large windows. Agents and secretaries busily working. Buzz of conversations. A friendly, social office. “MEN” AND “WOMEN’ doors.
SURPRISE. Suddenly, a dark shadow crosses the window. Immediately, conversation stops. Everyone looks out or at the window. Part of a huge spaceship can be glimpsed moving above the building.
SHOCK. An agent walks into the MEN’s. He looks into the mirror, straightens his tie. Pulls out his Glock and checks a round is chambered. He walks into a stall and closes the door. A second later, a shot is heard and blood spatters the wall at the back of the stall. A secretary walks to the cooler and gets a glass of water. She goes to her desk and takes a pill from her purse. She swallows it and seconds later her lips turn blue and she collapses at her desk. Another agent pulls his hair, goes into the MEN’s and another shot is heard.
SUSPENSE. The spaceship keeps hovering and people wait anxiously. Other agents have their hands on their guns. Several secretaries are pawing through the pills left on the dead secretary’s desk. Then, the spaceship moves on and people collapse in relief.
INCITING INCIDENT. – OUTSIDE SCHOOL – Saul’s daughter, Joann, and other children are murdered by Cult. Saul is wounded.
A crowd demonstrating outside a school. Determined, but peaceful. Varied clothing, but a half-dozen are dressed in what might be a uniform with red caps. News-units are videotaping. A cop stands by.
They carry signs; “ALIENS GO HOME”, “WE WANT CHILDREN TOO”, “WHERE IS MY CHILD”.
SURPRISE. Saul is driving. Relaxed. Sees the school and smiles. He turns the corner and sees the demonstration. Several cop cars with flashing lights. He slams on the brakes. He jumps out of his car and runs to a cop. They talk. The cop shakes his head and Saul relaxes and grins.
SHOCK. The Red-Caps begin to group and the audience sees they are all armed.
SUSPENSE. Ruth is appraising the situation. Too many cops? The Red-Caps are all looking to her. After a moment she shakes her head and the Red-Caps begin to move away. Then, two of the cop cars pull away and all the Red-Caps stop and look at Ruth again. She waits, she nods her head. Yes!
SURPRISE. Saul has just turned Benedict insane by exposing him to the mind-control device. Saul staggers away, exhausted, and sits down. The device is still running. Suddenly, Saul screams and puts his hand on the brain implant. There are Voice-Overs of Alien conversations. Then, in English: “Who is listening? Who is listening? …”. Saul staggers out.
SHOCK. Saul staggers into the street. Sandy sees him leave and runs after him. She helps him walk while asking him what is wrong. Saul tells her he can hear the Aliens and he has to get rid of the implant or they will kill him. They reach the car. Suddenly, a small Alien drone shoots down. There is a flash of light and Saul falls.
SUSPENSE. Sandy drags him into the car and takes off. The drone follows. She almost shakes it off with hairpin turns and driving through tunnels and parking garages, but the drone keeps returning. Sandy sees a microwave tower and pulls under it. The drone circles for a while and then flies away. Sandy drives off. Next, they are driving in the country. Sandy stops, exhausted, and leans back in the seat, crying. She sniffles and gets out of the car.
SURPRISE. There is a small spaceship hovering over the car.
SHOCK. Saul wakes up in an Alien room. He is loosely strapped to a chair. He expects the worse. He struggles to break free. An Alien is talking on a central TV screen surrounded by a dozen others.
SUSPENSE. The Alien reveals their plan to benefit the earth. Then-and-now scenes flash on the screens accompanied by descriptions. Pollution stopped, energy plentiful, no starvation, poachers exterminated, no homeless, education for all.
SURPRISE. What Saul is seeing will be shown around the world in all languages. Saul will be returned to witness what he has experienced. Humans have 20-years to develop a rational society or the Aliens will return.
SHOCK. Saul is standing in front of his house watching a small shuttle fly off.
SUSPENSE. Crowds fearfully watch the Alien ships gather overhead.
SURPRISE. The Alien ships group and, one-by-one, fly away.
ALTERNATIVELY.
SHOCK. Saul has returned home after destroying Benedict. He has politely listened to the doctor telling him that his wife (not the mother of his daughter) will not get well. He goes to the closet where his wife’s friend left a package earlier. He sees it on the floor and opens it. He finds a red cap, a pistol and the kind of scarf the Cultists were wearing when they killed his daughter.
SUSPENSE. He grabs the scarf and goes into where his, still barely coherent, wife is sitting. He stands at her back and slowly wraps the ends of the scarf around his hands. He stares at her for a few moments. He is pulling on the scarf and gripping the ends tighter and tighter. Saul begins to say how much he loved the daughter. His wife says they both loved her and she doesn’t know when she can get over it. Saul puts the scarf loosely around her neck and begins to draw it tight.
SURPRISE. His wife sees one end draping down over her shoulder and says; “Elsie left that here. Would you return it?”. Saul removes the scarf.
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Sung-Ju Suya Lee’s Level 2 Action Emotions
Lesson 11: Level 2 Action Emotions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Since this is a completely new story idea and still at the outline stage, I realize I am missing emotions in Action. I need to put them in. I wasn’t thinking about emotions when thinking of this Action idea. I was thinking of Action set pieces first and foremost. It’s eye-opening as an emerging screenwriter. Coming off the twists lesson, I thought that was hard, this is just as hard, especially to be creative. I’m having mini-breakthroughs, adding layers almost every day.
Logline:
When a group of old timers at a veteran’s retirement home win the mega lottery, they buy an old cruise ship to sail around the world with their extended families, but Pirates hijack their ship in South-East Asia and the Veterans must face the last battle of their lives to save their families.
Surprise: Veterans and Families are surprised when they see the Pirates take their waterproof bags full of cocaine bricks back to their boats. Their old cruise ship was initially a drug run ship?! Wasn’t it delisted and going to India to be scrap metal? Another thing… First, Pirates posing as people smugglers. Then, Pirates acting as hijackers, asking for ransom money. Now, Pirates as drug mules, going to Australia, with the now kidnapped Refugees. What’s next?
Shock: A blast in the engine room. Due to a Pirate’s stray bullet earlier. Now, the cruise ship is sinking. Veterans, Families and Refugees on the cruise ship fear for their lives due to the fire and ship sinking, not only the Pirates taking over the ship with the guns.
Suspense: One Pirate boat race to the lagoon. Veterans and Families know that loved ones are at the lagoon. Will they survive an attack with this Pirate boat, men with itchy fingers on triggers? Will their loved ones be prepared to fight, or to escape?
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Sung-Ju Lee.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Sung-Ju Lee.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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Mark Dotz
What I learned from this assignment is… that suspense can be applied to a lot of scenes with a little added structure.
Suspense, they enter a burning village. Entering in through a side covered in flames we feel the danger of the fire. They see some kids trapped below a pile of burning wood sitting on the side of a house. There is no way in or out of the house. Damian thinks quickly and tosses a log into the rubbish blowing open a hole, a passageway to the kids. He jumps through the hole. He is now inside the burning hut with the villager children. The roof collapses behind him. A small pathway is the only way out.
Suddenly the mom appears next to Isabella. She is in a panic about her boys and is loud and inconsolable. She starts screaming, which gets the attention of the invaders in the distance. Isabella struggles to silence her as Damian grabs the kids in each arm and runs out of the burning home through the passageway he made. The passageway collapses after he gets through.
(I’ll be writing this scene this evening)
THE FIRE
EXT. DRY RIVER BED – NIGHT
Isabella guides Damian down a dry river bed. From their vantage point they can see most of the kingdom. Damian sees a fire starting in the distance.
DAMIAN
There!
Damian points in the distance toward the fire.
DAMIAN
Is that the farm lands!?
The fire gets bigger and bigger.
ISABELLA
Those lands can’t burn. That’s the food supply.
DAMIAN
Archibald wouldn’t dare burn the food would he?
They talk with all sense of urgency.
ISABELLA
Of course he would. He’s killing the kings food supply.
DAMIAN
We have to do something?
Damian starts running towards the fire, Isabella follows.
EXT. VILLAGE ON FIRE
Archibald’s MEN IN RED run through the town tossing torches on top of roof tops and into homes.
It is Chaos. Villagers are barely escaping with their lives as they are burned out of their homes. As the men in red tear through the village they are pushing, shoving and slashing swords at all of the locals of the village. The locals run scared in all directions.
EXT. VILLAGE HOME ON FIRE
Isabella and Damian run through a side of the village that is on fire, they are careful not to be noticed by the men in red. Isabella points inside of a hut on fire.
ISABELLA
Those are children in there.
Inside the hut the two children are scared and holding each other tightly screaming.
ISABELLA
What do we do?
Without thinking, Damian throws a large branch onto the side of the hut, blowing open a hole. He jumps in.
INT. BURNING HUT
Damian leaps inside of the burning home.
DAMIAN
It’s okay kids, I’m here to help.
Damian can barely see the kids through the black smoke.
DAMIAN POV- THROUGH BLURRY EYES DAMIAN CAN SEE THE TWO KIDS. THEN SUDDENLY AN IMAGE BEHIND THEM. IT’S A MAN IN RED.
DAMIAN
Great. More of you?
EXT. BURNING HUT
Isabella tries to get a visual on Damian inside the burning hut. Most of what she sees is waves of fire and fuzzy images inside the hut.
INT. BURNING HUT
Damian has trouble seeing through the smoke. He stays focused on the children as the MAN IN REDs double sided ax comes flying at him. The Man in Red’s grip is tight as the ax barely misses Damian. Damian can see clearly.
DAMIAN
There you are.
The ax is embedded in the ground. The MAN IN RED struggles to remove it.
Damian swings his sword around the back side of the man and it collides with his head sending the MAN IN RED down onto the back side of his ax. With the opposition dead, Damian turns his attention to the children who are now trapped behind a collapsed piece of lumber. Damian approaches the children and the lumber immediately catches fire. Damian stays focused and keeps his cool.
DAMIAN
Hang tight kids. I’m here to help… again.
Damian swings his sword up and down onto the fallen piece of lumber, and smashes it in half. He sheaths his sword and jumps over to where the children are.
DAMIAN
Wow It’s hot.
Damian is now standing in front of the children, he sees there dirt smudged faces and the panic they are feeling.
DAMIAN
Okay kids. Hold tight. We’re getting out of here.
Damian curls the kids up in his arms and walks out of sight.
EXT. BURNING HUT
Isabella watches in horror as the hut starts falling apart.
PANICKED MOTHER
My babies! My Babies are in there!
A panicked mother comes out of nowhere and makes Isabella jump.
PANICKED MOTHER
My babies!
The panicked mother falls to her knees.
ISABELLA
I know, My friend just went in there…
PANICKED MOTHER
What about my kids?
ISABELLA
…um, I was hoping he was coming out…
Suddenly there is quiet. The Fires blaze. Both the panicked mother on her knees and Isabella stand in silence watching the hut burn as pieces of wood fall off the hut in flames.
Then suddenly.
IN SLOW MOTION – MUSIC PLAYS A SLOW SAD AND TRIUMPHANT PIANO –
SLOW MOTION – THROUGH THE FIRE AND BLACK SMOKE WE SEE A DARK SHADOWY IMAGE CRAWLING ON HIS KNEES. THE IMAGE STARTS TO EMERGE FROM THE ONE HOLE IN THE HUT, THE IMAGE STRUGGLES TO CRAWL UNDER A BURNING LOG.
DISSOLVE TO:
Through the fire and black smoke, Damian holds the children tight, he is barely conscious and coughing. Isabella grabs him by the collar and pulls him and the children away from the fire.
CHILDREN
Mommy!
The children pull themselves out of Damian’s arms and run to their moms arms.
PANICKED MOTHER
Oh babies!
They hug and the mother kisses the tops of their heads. The Mother pulls them away form the fire. The mother yells to Isabella.
PANICKED MOTHER
Your friend is a hero!
Isabella struggles to pull Damian far from the fire and into the darkness.
EXT. DARKNESS OF THE FOREST AWAY FORM THE FIRE
Isabella helps Damian recover. She can’t drag him any further and they both lay limp on the ground.
ISABELLA
Damian!
Isabella forces water into his mouth and pulls him upright to help him breath.
ISABELLA
Damian, I thought I lost you.
Damian breaths in deep and regains his consciousness.
DAMIAN
We need to go back. There’s more villagers in there. Livestock, the farm lands…
Damian struggles to get to his feet. Isabella pulls him down.
ISABELLA
No, you need to rest. That was dangerous, you almost died. I almost lost you.
DAMIAN
There are more lives in this mess, we need to help wherever we can…wait, YOU almost lost ME?
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Mark Doddy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Mark Doddy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Mark Doddy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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Denice’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is how fun and easy these techniques are once you add them to your script.
EXT. THIRD-STORY BALCONY/COURTYARD – NIGHT
Music filters from the open window.
SUSPENSE: Catherine throws her legs over the stucco wall, dress billowing in the slight wind. She climbs into the shadowy limbs of the huge La Cieba tree.
A dozen Guards patrol the long perimeter of stone walls.
Triple peeks over the stones. Ducks when a Guard passes by.
Catherine’s dress snags in the branches. She pulls gently.
SUSPENSE: El Boud’s shadow descends into the tree from the balcony above her.
Triple rolls over the wall. Crouches in the bushes.
Catherine steps on a wire in the tree.
SURPRISE: Alarm sounds.
Two shadows struggle in the tree.
CATHERINE
Let go.
Triple’s eyes dart toward the tree.
EL BOUD
My pleasure.
El Boud shoves Catherine. She crashes through the branches.
Triple focuses her mind on her mother. Her telekinesis stops Catherine’s fall.
SUSPENSE: A Guard shoves his rifle into Triple’s head.
She loses her concentration.
SHOCK: Catherine slams onto the tiled courtyard.
Triple screams. Downs her guard with one karate chop to the throat. Rushes to her mom. Kneels to touch her cheek.
TRIPLE
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Catherine’s eyes flutter open. Pain and fear flit over her face.
CATHERINE
Oh, Darling. You mustn’t be here. Go.
TRIPLE
I won’t leave you.
Guards surround them. Rifles cock.
Catherine moans. Her delicate fingers caress Triple’s face.
CATHERINE
Remember I love you. Forgive your father.
Her eyes close forever.
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Kathy’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is I can create a scene that uses all three of these Action emotions.
1. Look through your outline and choose a scene that could use surprise, shock, and suspense.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of the three emotions.
3. Write the scene as a first draft, highlighting surprise, shock, and suspense.
The terrorists decide to kidnap Danny’s wife. (danger)
They watch the house until she drives up with the kids in the back seat. She opens the garage door, drives in and, as the garage door is closing, the thieves stop it. (surprise)
They muscle her and the kids into the house. The kids are locked in an upstairs bedroom. The man slaps her (shock), then gets out a knife. He drags the point across her neck as she sobs. Then he stops and starts to climb the steps. She yells for him to stop, to not hurt the kids. He walks back. She tells the men that Danny overheard the rug store owner’s conversation and the antique panel at the auction was stolen from a museum in Iraq.
The man writes a ransom note and leaves it on the kitchen table for Danny. They bind her hands and push her into their car and drive off. (surprise, extortion)
The storm is off Andros and heading north. Will hit NYC in 6 days. (danger)
SECOND TURNING POINT: Danny finds the note, has it checked for prints, ID’s the print, finds the mob boss owns a warehouse, takes a squad there. Gun fight with the thieves. (shootout) Man holds his wife, threatens to shoot her. Danny puts down his M16 as asked but has a handgun hidden behind it. (twist) Danny shoots and the man dies, wife runs into his arms. Finds stolen painting from LGA cargo plus more antiques. (reveal) Finds invoices with the rug store letterhead.
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Linda’s Level 2 Action Emotions
What I learned doing this assignment is the difference between surprise and shock and how to implement both of them.
EXT. STASH HOUSE – NIGHT
Matteo motions orders to Thomas and the group of former military special forces operatives. They fan out, surround the stash house. Matteo crouches up to the house, under the window. He raises up, but the blind is closed, he’s unable to see in.
He points to the doors. The group moves at an urgent pace, weapons drawn. Prepared for an assault, Thomas breaches the front door. They file in.
Matteo stops short. On the wall hangs a scarecrow wearing Dante’s sweatshirt. It is half burned. Across the head is written “jihad.”
Thomas leads the others through the rest of the house.
THOMAS
Over here. There’s a shed out there.
He nods out the back window.
MATTEO
Let’s go.
Matteo is the first to step out the back door. He is no longer cautious.
BOOM. A bomb explodes from the shed.
Matteo runs toward the explosion.
MATTEO
Dante …
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