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Post Your Lesson 26 Assignment Here
Reply and post your assignment here.
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11 Replies
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Subject line: Dale’s Solved Character Problems!
What I learned from doing this assignment is to figure out where I already have strong characters, and where I can look to answering some questions – such as, whether to show in some clear way, my protagonist’s wound. I don’t necessarily have the answers yet, but it’s helpful to ask the questions.
A. Protagonist: An interesting question to explore is my character’s “wound” and how the antagonist/love interest challenges it. Elizabeth’s wound is having a highly sensitive brother kill himself in his early 20s, along with her disdain for an overly emotional and volatile mother. She tailors herself after her rational and calm father. She finds this a safer, less risky way to move through life.
So, an interesting question is how, or if I should, weave any of this past into the narrative?
B. Antagonist: I think he is a strong protagonist because he challenges Elizabeth’s “safety zone” by forcing her to deal with strong emotions.
C. Character Intros: Elizabeth is shown in her home, which reflects her personality, and in her lecture, which shows her academic performance and bias. Richard is shown rushing across campus (late), and impressing a female student with his good looks.
D. Characters not in action. Question here. Are the characters lectures them “in action?” Even though these are talking head type moments – I think how Elizabeth presents the material and the very different way Richard presents the same material is, in a way, active. Also, we see Elizabeth just standing at her podium, while we see Richard moving about the room animatedly while he talks (A reflection of their two personalities.)
E. Protagonist journey. She definitely goes from old ways (controlled, confident, rational articulate, ethically certain) to new ways (out of control, emotional, confused, not sure any more as to how to behave, her mind and emotions in conflict. Out of which a new Elizabeth – one who is more balanced, emerges.)
F. All the characters seem the same. Here, there don’t appear to be issues, the characters really do speak in very different ways. One thing I may want to think about is that issue of action – how their behaviors and movements during a scene will enhance what they’re saying. Ex. I have Elizabeth throwing her phone across the room in frustration. But should I look for more moments like that in other scenes?
G. Lead characters not present. Though the other characters appear in a few scenes, they are almost always with one of the leads. And of course there are the scenes which just have the two lead characters. So all in all, the lead characters really do take up most of the screenplay.
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[1] What I learned doing this assignment? Again, the ability to “see” and then “fix” problems with characters through utilizing this process. I had a “feeling” my antagonist was not that bad of a bad guy and in reading over this lesson, I have to face reality. My antagonist is both weak and not bad. Having said that, this process has allowed me to quickly brainstorm and figure out how to amplify my villain.
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[2] Check your lead characters to see if they have any of the problems listed below.
A. Weak protagonist or antagonist.
B. Protagonist Too Good or Antagonist Too Bad.
C. Weak character introductions.
D. Characters not in action.
E. Protagonist journey not strong.
F. All the characters seem the same.
G. Lead characters not present.
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[3] For any character problems you find, make the prescribed improvements.
A & B — I have a weak antagonist and he is not too bad.
JR doesn’t really do anything to make him the bad guy throughout the movie. We see him shoot Mary in the opening act. Cold-blooded murder is heinous. Then later, he hires a “friend” to plant evidence to implicate some one else, namely Clendon’s father.
I added a scene where JR burns evidence linking him to Clendon’s mother, Mary – several promissory notes. The script needs more. He is still weak and not threatening.
First, JR needs to be more proactive in planting false clues and throwing suspicion elsewhere. Misleading and false clues to make it so there are several possible suspects.
Second, I need to have JR play on Clendon’s hatred of his father. He needs to get in Clendon’s head: talk up how evil his father is and what he most likely did to Clendon’s mother.
Third, I can have JR talk to his daughter, confide in her, about Clendon’s father (using the evidence his “friend” planted in and around Clendon’s father’s place, car, etc., ) JR tells his daughter to keep Clendon from doing something rash, something crazy, tells her to have Clendon talk with the detective Ramirez… JR warns his daughter if Clendon refuses, you need to speak with the detective yourself. Take matters into your own hands…
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What I learned from this lesson is that I learned plenty about how to shape characters from the opening 6 lessons. I didn’t have to do much to solve character problems.
Mark’s Solving Character Problems
All I did this time around was to add a few lines of dialogue here and there to make the characters stand out more. But the essence and the role and the journey of the leads is there.
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Melanie’s Solved Character Problems
What I learned: I needed to go back to the protagonist’s wound to make her journey stronger. I’ve revised scenes through dialogue and flashbacks as a result.
What I worked on: Protagonist’s Journey
Act 1:
Added subtext of troubled relationship between Sybil and her father. We see how her father regards her at the table and through dialogue understand a past incident has come between the two of them.
Act 2:
A flashback to her “wound” as she remembers the incident that has been her cross..
Act 3:
At her lowest point, she remembers a conversation she overheard between her parents and how her father holds the incident against her.
___________
Act 1: 2 Scenes
INT. LUDINGTON FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
Sybil’s large family – her mother, father and eleven siblings sit around the farmhouse table. Sybil helps the youngest child, Henry, cutting the meat in his stew.
The boys – JACOB, HENRY, GEORGE, WILLIAM – all eat quietly to listening intently to their father.
JACOB
Tell us a story, father.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
I don’t know that you want to hear any of them. They’re not bedtime stories.
His eyes are dark, mixed with anger, sadness, and horror.
GEORGE
Please, father. Just one.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
We were all standing at the ridge of the field as the
JACOB
Did you kill anyone, father?
George’s eyes light up while Mary, her sister, grimaces. Snickers from the others.
MARY
Jacob!
EMILY
Sybil, start cleaning up the dishes.
SYBIL
But I’m listening to his story.
EMILY
Sybil. I don’t want to ask you again.
Her mother’s look cuts her short, and she gets up stubbornly, going into the kitchen. From the adjoining room, though, Sybil listens, intently.
Her father’s jowl tightens, looking at each of his children in earnest.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
War is serious, boys. (Pause) Hundreds of men lost their lives fighting for our country. Many of my soldiers lost their lives. The ones that came back without limbs? They were the lucky ones.
JACOB
Yes, father. But did you kill anyone?
Silence at the table.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
Jacob, listen to me. In war you do what you need to do to stay alive. Whatever it takes.
HENRY
Father, can I fight when I’m older.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
Not with only one good leg, son.
Henry sinks in his chair, crestfallen. He pokes his wooden leg with a fork.
EMILY
Henry, enough of that. Leave it.
Sybil peeks from around the corner, dish in hand.
SYBIL
What is war like, father?
He bites into a piece of bread, stewing at her question.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
Haven’t you done enough to this family?
She creeps back to the dishes, tears welling in her eyes. He takes another bite of meat, looking away.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
I hope none of you ever have to know.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN – LATER
Sybil cleans up the dishes from the table. Her MOTHER takes a dish from her.
MOTHER
I’ll do the rest. It is still your birthday.
Sybil doesn’t react.
MOTHER
Listen. Your father is just tired. He didn’t mean anything by it.
SYBIL
Mother, will he ever trust me again? It was an accident.
MOTHER
A costly accident. Just give him time, dear. Forgiveness sometimes takes time.
Sybil wipes a tear.
MOTHER
Here. You only turn sixteen once.
Her mother proudly holds out a small cloth-covered box.
SYBIL
Is it a knife?
Her mother’s eyes widen in shock.
MOTHER
No, of course not. Why would you say that?
Sybil opens it anyway. It’s a small silver necklace with a locket, in it a picture of her parents.
MOTHER
Here, I’ll put it on.
She fastens it around her daughter’s neck.
SYBIL
Thank you, mother.
MOTHER
You’re sixteen now. It’s time to grow up. No more of this play in the woods with your Native American friend.
Sybil dismisses her, heading to her bedroom.
Act 2: Addition to Midpoint
FLASHBACK TO:
INT. LUDINGTON FARM – DAY
Doctor Freeman works over Henry’s bleeding leg. All of Sybil’s siblings have gathered around him while his mother holds him. He SOBS in pain.
HENRY
Mommy!
Sybil stands awkwardly at the door.
EMILY
Please tell me you save the leg, Doctor. Please.
He uses a tourniquet on the leg to stop the bleeding. He draws it tighter.
SCREAM. Henry is covered in blood. As is Sybil.
EMILY
You’ll be okay, my sweet boy. It will be over soon.
She kisses his sweaty forehead.
The Doctor looks up, his hands shaking.
DOCTOR FREEMAN
It’s not good.
EMILY
Please.
DOCTOR FREEMAN
He’ll die if we don’t take it, I’m afraid.
Henry’s SCREAM is heart-wrenching. Margaret, Sybil’s sister, GASPS. Sybil sinks to the floor in tears.
The Doctor turns to Emily.
DOCTOR FREEMAN
Yarrow. I need yarrow.
EMILY
Children. Quickly! Help the doctor.
DOCTOR FREEMAN
It’s a small white flower. It takes away the pain on animals. I don’t know, it’s worth a try. Hurry!
The children run out of the house in search of the flower.
The old man hands Emily a stick.
DOCTOR FREEMAN
For the pain. This will hurt.
Sybil’s eyes go wide and we hear another SCREAM…
CUT TO:
Act 3: Turning point scene addition
FLASHBACK TO:
INT. LUDINGTON FARMHOUSE, BEDROOM – NIGHT
The darkened hallway hugs Sybil who leans against it listening to voices in the bedroom.
EMILY
(VO)
He will get over this. He’s a strong child.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
(VO)
He is ruined.
EMILY
(VO)
It was an accident.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
(VO)
We left her in charge.
EMILY
(VO)
Accidents happen.
COLONEL LUDINGTON
(VO)
She has disappointed me, Emily. She is not to leave the house. Ever.
Sybil stifles her tears in her apron.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject line: Ricardo Williams Solved Character Problems!
What I learned doing this assignment is how to strengthen my characters and get them more involved in the script.
For any character problems you find, make the prescribed improvements I found the character of Lucy to be humorous and as a result, I added a couple of new scenes with her.
I wanted to strengthen my scenes with the antagonist, so I added an action scene and I brought him back at the end of the script as a changed man.
I recognize the potential problem of all characters being the same so I made some changes to enhance their differences.
The story is being told through the eyes of the protagonist. I added a scene with the protagonist and her son to show the conflict of her business ventures and how it affects family life.
I showed the transformation of a lovable character Lucy from being a struggling single woman to being happily married and owning her own business. The message there is that anything is possible if you have the will and the right attitude.
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Solved – Character Problems
What I learned doing this assignment? Again, the ability to “see” and then “fix” problems with characters through utilizing this process. I had a “feeling” my antagonist was not that bad of a bad guy and in reading over this lesson, I have to face reality. My antagonist is both weak and not bad. Having said that, this process has allowed me to quickly brainstorm and figure out how to amplify my villain.
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[2] Check your lead characters to see if they have any of the problems listed below.
A. Weak protagonist or antagonist.
B. Protagonist Too Good or Antagonist Too Bad.
C. Weak character introductions.
D. Characters not in action.
E. Protagonist journey not strong.
F. All the characters seem the same.
G. Lead characters not present.
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[3] For any character problems you find, make the prescribed improvements.
A & B — I have a weak antagonist and he is not too bad.
He doesn’t really do anything to make him the bad guy throughout the movie. We see him shoot Mary in the opening act. Then later, he hires a “friend” to plant evidence to implicate some one else, namely Clendon’s father. I added a scene where JR burns evidence linking him to Clendon’s mother, Mary – promissory notes. It needs more. He is still weak and not threatening.
JR needs to be more proactive in planting false clues and throwing suspicion elsewhere. Misleading and false clues to make it so there are several possible suspects.
I need to have JR play on Clendon’s hatred of his father. He needs to get in Clendon’s head: talk up how evil his father is and what he most likely did to Clendon’s mother.
I can have JR talk to his daughter, confide in her, about Clendon’s father (using the evidence his “friend” planted in and around Clendon’s father’s place, car, etc., ) Tell his daughter to keep Clendon from doing something rash, something crazy, tells her to have Clendon talk with the detective Ramirez… JR warns his daughter if Clendon refuses, you need to speak with the detective yourself. Take matters into your own hands.
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Pam’s (Solved?) Character Problems
What I learned: I’ve identified where I have some character problems — but I would not say that they are solved just yet. Right now it seems overwhelming. I’m going to make improvements a little bit at a time as I go thru my script, so that I don’t “shut down.”
Character Issues – To Do List
A. Weak Protagonist or Antagonist.
PROTAG: HENRI
– Tweak Henri a little more to show Old Ways in opening scenes.
Flirty, enjoying the “it” crowd, needing validation.
– Show him yearning for his old life in Act 2. And initially unhappy in the dog salon, but trying to fit in, only doing the minimum though. A main goal for solving the crime is to get his old life back.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –ANTAG: MARC
– Need to show clear reasons why Marc would hate Henri enough to want him killed and out of his life forever. Expand on current placeholders to show this. In a nutshell: Henri was stealing Marc’s spotlight. It wouldn’t have been enough to simply fire him — his clients would go with Henri, should he start his own salon. When Henri was chosen as keynote speaker for Hair Show… that was the last straw, and the nail in Henri’s coffin.
The “Vanity” mag issue might be a good place to do this. Show Marc’s reactions to Henri’s rise to fame/talent. Show him setting Henri up to fail. Maybe bring in the “Modeling Glue” product as an issue? Who really invented it??
– Make Marc more 3D. Currently, he’s just kind of snippy and secretly jealous of Henri, his protégé.
Show him deviously setting up Conan and Stuart as suspects behind Bradley’s murder.
And maybe even Tiffany.
– He’s overly dramatic. Play up on that more, for humor. (like the beginning “label drama.”)
– Show other sides of him as well (see below):
a. He’s so insecure, he has a pet parrot that he trained to spout out affirmations. To his aggravation, Henri trained to quote from movies.
b. Maybe he can be charming or clever if he wants to be? Just kind of a dick to Henri?
– Research NARCISSISTIC Personality traits
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B. Protagonist Too Good or Antagonist Too Bad.GIVE THOSE CHARACTERS SOME BALANCING PARTS.
Consider adding irony (good people doing bad things; bad people doing good things) to your lead characters to make them more interesting.– HENRI: A bit of a tool (in beginning), but family is important. Good to his Papi.
– MARC: Is arrogant, talented and sometimes rude: but baby-talks with his parrot.C. Weak character intros. Current intros are pretty good, once tweaks in place.
D. Characters not in action.
Check for any Talking Head scenes and add meaningful action.E. Protagonist journey not strong. Current journey is strong, once tweaks in place.
F. All the characters seem the same.
Create character profiles for:
JARED, TIFFANY, DET. STONE, CAMERON, CONAN (OR TREVOR), MACKAY.
Each should have their own distinct personality.JARED: Gay, Actor-wannabe (dramatic), Outgoing, Loyal, British Accent?
TIFFANY: Vain, Intelligent, Dog-lover, Expects others to wait on her
DET. STONE: Dry, Sarcastic, All-business, Smart
CAMERON: Old-fashioned, Protective, Loyal, Conservative
CONAN: Chip on shoulder, Bitter, Intense, Ambitious
MACKAY: Hitman, Professional, Threatening, Master of Disguise
G. Lead characters not present. Not a problem! -
Dave Holloway’s Solved Character Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that ironing out these character problems at the beginning of the writing of a screenplay can save a lot of time rewriting later and establish a good framework for the story from the start.
The main problem I see is that the Antagonist is weak. This is because the antagonist is the warden of a prison that is holding the wife of the protagonist. The great majority of the screenplay is taken up with a journey the protagonist makes overland across North America to reach the prison to try to free her. So the antagonist is not present in most of the story. He is not a big expression of the protagonist’s fear, wound or main issue in life, and doesn’t constantly force the protagonist into difficult situations or make his life hell, except indirectly by tormenting the protagonist’s wife.
I think the way to solve the problem is to have the antagonist become more present in the story before the protagonist reaches the prison. There should be a series of “zoom” calls from the protagonist’s wife to him, in which she details the warden’s increasingly vicious behavior toward her. Finally, she will tell him the warden has raped her. As a result, the antagonist will be on the protagonist’s mind quite a bit, and always with the visions of his terrible actions toward her. This will serve to torment the protagonist as he makes his journey across the continent.
Also, by having his wife tell him that her time remaining in the prison before being executed, the protagonist will constantly be hurrying to cross the continent as quickly as possible, and his haste can cause him to face difficult situations.
Additionally, the warden can be a symbol, by his physical make-up, personal qualities and attitudes, of a type of man the protagonist greatly fears, and thus looms in the protagonist’s mind, as he crosses the continent, as a particularly fearsome opponent he’ll be hard-pressed to overcome.
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Fred’s Solved Character Problems
What I learned from this assignment is that the protagonist needs to have a stronger through line/arc in order to have a meaningful transformation. I hadn’t exhibited the old ways enough in the earlier drafts, so I incorporated that in the latest edits.
A. WEAK PROTAGONIST OR ANTAGONIST
Protagonist:
All of Jin’s upbringing, upper class lifestyle stems from Grandpa’s money, direct lineage through Father
Has to be emphasized from the start
His whole life has been handed down from an immoral bloodline
Does Jin explain this to his cousin?
Opposition needs to be stronger
What does family mean to Jin, what kind of forces does it harbor
How does it make life for him difficult
Everywhere he goes he has to uphold the family name
Relatives introduce him to their friends, the eldest son, how his grandparents adore him, how he has so much potential, how fortunate he is to have someone as successful as his grandpa
hotel/buffet scene
Vip room, labeled “boss’s grandson”
Dilemma
Bring shame to the family name vs Live with it knowing they are dishonorable
Live with Emma with secret vs break up with her by telling her the truth
Meet his bastard brother and risk losing his place vs not acknowledge him like Han
Antagonist:
Make them a big expression of the protagonist’s fear, wound, or main issue in life.
His belief system in love/relationship hasn’t been established in the beginning
Does he believe in eternal love? That emma is the one? That he can remain loyal to her
Does Han explain to Emma how he met Jin’s mother? “Love story”
What is the best way to deliver backstory/exposition
Through Emma?
Dinner with parents?
Wound
That he is the same as his father, unfaithful
Epiphany must destroy this idea: talk with Mother? Mistress? Emma?
Jin is not his father
HOW?
How does Han force Jin into difficult decisions?
Adds hysteria to his relationship with Emma, breaks up with her
“I can see where he gets his charm from”
Forces him to cut off relatives, but consequences?
Living with mom, reaction to new lifestyle? Depraved?
B. PROTAGONIST TOO GOOD OR ANTAGONIST TOO BAD
Moral Compass
Why does he think he is in the right, doing the good deed by keeping this a secret
To maintain the balance of his family, provide a better future for Jin, more opportunities, has to express this to Emma
That’s why he sent him to school in America, money, better education, if not he would have never met Emma
Make Grandpa proud, hold a positive relationship with son
Upholds tradition of the family, is praised by those around him
Chef dynamic?
Introduces his son to customers,
They bestow him with compliments, how good looking he is
He got the good genes passed down
C. WEAK CHARACTER INTROS
For your lead character introduction scenes, the most important thing is to create a scene situation that has this lead character stand out.
Ask this: “What scene situation will introduce something unique and surprising about this character?”
Either the scene challenges them in a big way or it shows off something important about them. Whatever you do, make this THEIR scene!
Also, check the intro to make sure it includes the following:
– Have them living in the Old Ways.
yes
– Put the character in action.
Not enough
Rearranging plates, holding his cousin’s hand, like a good older brother, teaching her the family tradition, passing down heritage
She is messing up the order, picking up things and dropping them
Tell her who their great grandparents are
– Give them interesting dialogue.
Not enough
– Challenge them in some way.
Cousin asks if this is all necessary?
Can’t they just eat the food?
– Consider creating distress to cause us to feel empathy.
Han or Grandpa tells her to go to the kitchen
He stands up for her? Or tries to soothe her
– Their reaction gives us an insight into who they are.
Is unlike the rest of the family
But not yet quite aware of the Mother’s experience
Not completely oblivious but has potential to see new insights
D. CHARACTERS NOT IN ACTION
If you have a lot of talking heads scenes (two characters just talking to each other), then any of those scenes are an opportunity to build in action.
If you have a lot of talking heads scenes (two characters just talking to each other), then any of those scenes are an opportunity to build in action.
Ask this: What is the meaning of their dialogue? Knowing the meaning, how can it be delivered through action? If they feel like failures, have them make a physical mistake. If the angry, have them break something. If they hate something, have them attack it. You’ll be surprised how often the meaning can be turned into action.
BTW, there is a difference between busy work — like walking or taking sips of coffee — versus meaningful action. If possible, use action that delivers the deeper meaning.
Mother wraps packages tightly, bangs the tray or plate down loudly, swivels around as soon as she can, looks distressed, wears a mask, flutters her eyes when someone calls her
Throws her mask off in the car
Action while talking with Mother?
Internal struggle
Rubbing his ring? Taking it off, putting it in her pocket
Maybe in the opening, Jin is playing boardgames with cousins? Called to work and do the heavy lifting
Mother says she has a little cold/allergies, relatives tell her to rest but she insists
Aunts gossiping
Tells her to stop frying because she can’t hear
Grandma tells her to not let the batter sit too long
Or something is gonna burn, because they were distracted
Jin storming out, leaving family behind
?
Not Jabchae
Breaking gate/door?
Oak chairs?
Portraits/photos?
Jenny, cousin, should be constantly distracting adults by seeking attention, she draws on the ground, asks for her seat cushion to be sewed, brings a sewing box, comes for a hug, sits on mom’s lap with her feet swinging up, plays by herself with high energy, connect 4, “building a fire against the yellow pieces, they get burnt”
Metaphor? symbolism?
E. PROTAGONIST JOURNEY NOT STRONG
The protagonist is the character we go on the journey with and it is important that their journey is engaging.
Consider these thoughts:
They start with Old Ways and end up with New Ways.
Needs to think father’s family is foolproof
They provide everything, they are correct
Upholds integrity
Later understands that they are flawed, and so is he, but it’s okay (because Mom/Emma/Mistress teaches him so?)
They are forced to confront a major fear or wound.
That his parents marriage is a lie
That he and Emma might not have that perfect love story ending
That he is as unfaithful as his dad
Their Old Ways are constantly challenged.
Belief system that his family is perfect is constantly punctured
Emma sides with Han, can’t agree with her
Mother was the lucky one, didn’t come from money, turns out she graduated top of her class, had many suitors, maybe she ended up cheating on someone to meet Han, can Jin forgive her for that?
Their journey is a real obstacle course.
Jumps through multiple hoops
Make sure you have a clear goal for the journey.
Seek revenge for Mother
The Antagonist makes their life Hell!
Is indestructible
Everyone around Han supports him and puts him on a pedestal
Takes away his phone and freedom
Turns Emma against him
Makes Jin confront his biggest nightmare, that he cheated on her
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Gayle’s Solved Character Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is the character’s journey should reflect their plot journey. A coward becomes a hero so the final battle must reflect his ability to wield the sword emotionally as well as physically.
IMPROVEMENTS
–Caroline moves from hopeless romantic set on creating a fantasy marriage and reunion for Rick and Sam to being a realist, modern-thinking nanny who sees the need for Sam to have her own life and career as well as raising children. – I need to create more of a Victorian attitude for her early on so her need to meddle in the relationship is more justifiable.
–Samantha is tricky because she needs to show the divorce is a last ditch effort to find and express her own needs and goals. She is trying to escape Rick’s oppressive ego but she still loves him. I need her journey to be more nuanced.
–I don’t mind Rick being more cut and dry about his ego. He needs the fame and fortune to hide his insecurity and fear that Sam is too good for him. He constantly steps on her contributions to the team in order to distract her from figuring out he is too afraid of not being able to be her equal and she will leave him and/or have children with someone better.
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Sandra Solved Character Problems
What I learned doing this assignment is that I didn’t have the lead characters in as many scenes as I thought until I actually counted the scenes, and found out they were in 80% not 90%. I added more scenes to Act 3 with the lead characters and also included the leads in other scenes. I felt the antagonist was weak, so I added more scenes showing him lying and covering up. This was a great lesson!
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