BWTV-AI Mod 3 – Lesson 12: Outline With Intrigue

[Denice Lewis]

Denice’s Outline with Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is that the use of this lesson makes you reevaluate your scenes, add new ideas, find the holes, and fix them.

TEASER

INT. LIMOUSINE, MOVING – DAY – MYSTERY

Maya bribes her driver on the way to a secret dance/fighting class. A lightning dragon appears and spews pinpoints of light in a star constellation on the window. Maya screams. It vanishes. Driver doesn’t see it.

(OL) Why is Maya bribing the limo driver?
(M) Why does a dragon appear and where did it go?

(E/D) Maya screams. Limo veers.
(OL) What do the pinpoints of light mean?

EXT. SEEDY STREET/OLD BUILDING – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

She hurries toward an old building. Gets tangled in feathers from dreamcatchers blowing across the entrance. Her greatest rival laughs, helps her. Embarrassed, she walks into class.

(OL) What is the significance of the dreamcatcher?

(E/D) Maya is embarrassed to be helped.

INT. CAPOEIRA DANCE STUDIO – DAY – INTRIGUE

Maya takes dance/fighNng lessons. When her turn comes to spar, she’s paired with the only boy she can’t beat. During the fight, the star constellation lights up on her wrist and a dream world superimposes itself over the room, making her fight in two worlds. She’s not winning. A monster claws her, a flash of light, and darkness.

(Irony) Maya is embarrassed to be helped, but has a lot of confidence in her fighting ability.

(OL) Why does the star constellation appear on her wrist and what does it mean?
(M, Setup) What is the world superimposed over the room?
(M, Setup) Who is she fighting with against the monsters?

(E/D) She’s losing both fights.
(E/D) A monster claws her causing a flash of light and darkness.

ACT 1

INT. CAPOIERA STUDIO – CONTINUATION – DECEPTION

Flashlights highlight the students. Maya hides the wound on her wrist. She texts for the limo, but it’s outside. Teacher cancels class.

(E/D, OL) Maya hides the wound on her wrist. (M) Why won’t she tell the instructor?

(Setup) Why is the limo outside?

EXT. OLD BUILDING – DAY – SECRET

Her father, Blake, confronts Maya about her taking classes in a dangerous part of town, and lying. She changes her mind about telling him the weird things that are happening to her. Checks her wound. It’s gone. He lectures her about the value of telling the truth and also that her grandmother is at the house. Maya’s not happy about the news.

(E/D) Maya’s dad is with the limo, catching her in her lie about ballet.
(E/D) She won’t tell him about the weird things happening to her because he won’t believe her.

(OL) Her wound miraculously heals.
(Setup) He lectures her about the value of telling the truth and that her grandmother is at the house.
(E/D, M, Setup) Maya ‘s not happy about the news and hopes he’ll still take her to work after school like he promised.

INT. MAYA’S HOME, LIVING ROOM – DAY – WOUND

Sophia is Blake’s mom and Maya’s grandmother waits for them. She’s Native American and talks about a prophetic dream of Maya in danger. Sophia’s concern is too motherly for Maya who is infuriated since she never knew her mother. Dad tries to smooth things over, but Maya stomps upstairs to get ready for school.

(M) Mom/Grandma tells of with a prophetic dream of Maya’s danger.
(E/D) Maya doesn’t know her grandmother and dislikes her motherly concern since she’s never known her mother.

(Irony) Dad thinks he’s smoothing things between them.

INT. BLAKE’S SECRET ROOM – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

Blake has to go on a dangerous trip and he needs Sophia to take care of Maya. He gives her all of his important papers, including a note to Maya. Sophia doesn’t want him to go because that’s how his father died. He also tells her it’s his last chance to save his wife, a mother Maya doesn’t know exists. They argue.

(M) Why does Blake have a secret room?
(OL, M) Dad has to go on a dangerous trip and needs his mom to take care of Maya.

(OL, Setup) Where is he going that he needs to leave conservatorship to his mom?

(M) Will he survive?
(M, Setup) What’s in Dad’s note to Maya?
(M) How did his dad die?
(OL, M, Setup) Where is his wife that she needs to be saved?

(M) Why doesn’t Maya know about her mother?
(Irony) Blake has lied to his daughter.

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY – DECEPTION

Blake and Sophia stop arguing when Maya enters the room. She’s excited to go with her father to work afer school. He tells her she can’t. Maya is mad when he betrays her trust and runs upstairs to get a jacket. Sophia warns him Maya’s rebellious nature will get her in trouble.

(OL) Blake and Sophia stop arguing. What does Maya overhear?
(Payoff) Maya is excited about going to work with her father.
(E/D) He’s not taking her.
(M) Maya runs upstairs with an excuse to get her jacket.
(Setup) Sophia tells Blake his daughter’s rebellious will get her in trouble.

INT. BLAKE’S OFFICE UPSTAIRS – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Maya tries to open a drawer in her father’s desk to find it locked. Her emoNons cause a streak of light on her wrist to travel to her fingers. The lock opens. She steals a lot of money from the drawer.

(M) What does Maya want in her father’s desk?
(Setup) Her emotions trigger the light in her wrist.
(OL) What is the extent of her power?
(OL) What is she going to do with the money she’s stealing?

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY – WOUND

Maya gives dad a chance to change his mind. He tries to apologize, but they argue about his secret job. She destroys a picture of the two of them, strides out, slamming the front door which flashes in light. Blake sees this, concerned, but doesn’t tell his mother.

(E/D) Maya and her dad argue about his betrayal.

(M) What is his secret job? How can he lie to her?

(Payoff) She breaks a picture of them.
(M, OL) What else can her powers do?

(M) Why doesn’t Blake tell his mother about the light around the door?

ACT 2

EXT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Maya orders her limo driver to stay. Maya’s quirky friend wants to know if she had a bad dream. An admirer butts in. She fends him off, only wants to borrow his dirt bike. She tells him its payback for her father and pays him. They sneak the bike into school.

(Setup) Why does Maya want the limo driver to wait for her?
(Irony) Maya’s quirky friend is in tune with Maya’s feelings, but Maya brushes her off.

(M) Why is Maya using the boy?
(Setup) What are her plans for the dirt bike?

INT. SECRET ROOM, LAB – DAY – SECRET

Worried about the light caused by Maya, Blake locks himself in his secret room, ignoring his mother’s protests. He looks into an ancient astronomy book. Holds his hands over various constellations. His hand becomes fire and highlights one of the constellations. He breaks an amethyst crystal from a rock and makes an amulet in the shape of a swan with fire from his hands and mind. He pockets the necklace.

(M, E/D) Why is Blake locking himself in?
(Setup) What is he researching in the astrology book?

(M) Who is he and how can his hand be on fire?

(Setup) What constellation is it?
(OL) How does he have powers?
(OL, Setup) Why is he making a swan necklace?

INT. BLAKE’S GARDEN – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER

Sophia wanders into the garden to summon her dead husband, worried that her chant won’t work. He appears and they argue about her fears, guilt for what she did to Blake’s wife. He tells her that what will happen, needs to. A dark shadow swallows her husband in darkness and she flees inside.

(E/D) She’s worried about her son.
(M) Why is she chanting?
(M) How can she summon her dead husband? (

OL) What did she do to Blake’s wife?
(Setup) What does her husband know?

(Setup) Who is the dark shadow?

INT. SCHOOL HALLS – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER

Maya dismisses the boy and decides to ride the bike up and down the halls while kids are hurrying to class. But whispers and visions from the dream realm appear that mirror her ride, making it more difficult and dangerous. Confused when she sees her father in danger, she slides into a wall.

(Payoff) Maya rides the bike in the halls.
(M) She hears noises, whispers.
(E/D) Visions appear that mirror her ride, making it more dangerous.

(Setup) She has a vision of her dad in danger.

(Payoff) She slides into a wall.

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY – WOUND

Unhurt, Maya faces an angry Principal. Maya listens to his lecture, but answers few questions. She lies and says she stole the bike, boyfriends are baggage. She’s expelled. Limo takes her home.

(E/D) Maya listens to the principal’s lecture about safety, caring for fellow students. She can tell him the truth about why she did such a thing.

(Irony) She lies and says she stole the bike for fun.

(Payoff) She’s expelled.

INT. BLAKE’S SECRET ROOM – DAY – DECEPTION

Maya hears arguing coming from a wall. She finds the secret door, opens it with light. Sophia is shocked. A ring of fire to the dream realm encircles a monster who has captured her dad. Maya screams. He throws the amulet to her. Maya runs to help her father, but he vanishes. Sophia gives her fifteen minutes to pack, they’re leaving. Maya refuses until Sophia says the police can’t help. Sophia shows Blake’s papers and gives his letter to her.

(M) Maya hears arguing voices in the wall.
(M) Sophia wants to know why she’s home.
(OL) Maya finds the secret door. Opens it with light.
(Setup) Sophia is shocked with Maya’s ability. It’s not possible.
(OL) A monster grabs Blake.
(Payoff) Blake throws the necklace to Maya.
(OL) Blake and monster disappear in a ring of fire.
(M) Sophia says the police can’t help.
(Payoff) She explains to Maya about her father’s papers. Gives her his letter.

(Setup) Sophia gives Maya 15 minutes to pack, they’re leaving.

INT. MAYA’S BEDROOM – DAY – WOUND

Shocked and confused, Maya grabs a duffel bag, stuffing in clothes. She hesitates when she sees the stuffed dragon and has a vision when her father gave it to her for protection. She stuffs it in her bag, her unread letter from him, and reluctantly leaves the room.

(E/D) Maya can barely funcNon as she packs.
(Setup) What is the significance of the dragon?

(Setup) She stuffs the letter from her father in her bag.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA

Maya reluctantly leaves the house while Sophia gives the deed for the limo to the driver and dismisses him. Sophia orders Maya into her car since both their lives are in danger. Maya asks the limo driver to take her with him. He shakes his head, leaves. Maya pulls out her cell phone. Sophia destroys it. Maya gets into her car.

(E/D) Sophia gives Blake’s driver the limo and papers. Maya asks him to take her with him.

(Setup) Sophia warns Maya that their lives are in danger.
(M) Who is Maya calling on her cell phone?
(E/D) Sophia destroys Maya’s phone. Maya gets into Sophia’s car.

INT. CAR – DAY – WOUND

Maya gazes out the back as visions of her childhood fill the window. She begs her grandmother to go back. The house implodes, shattering her images like shards of glass. Tears stream down her face.

(E/D) Visions of Maya’s childhood fill the rearview window. She begs her grandmother to go back.

(M) Why does Sophia blow up the house?
(OL) What is the danger to the family?
(E/D) Maya’s childhood shatters in shards.

ACT 3

EXT. GAS STATION/GROCERY STORE – NIGHT – STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Sophia stops for food and gas. Maya won’t speak to her and runs away. Visions and sounds frighten her and she collapses. Sophia finds her and helps her in the car.

(Setup) Sophia stops her car for food and gas. She smudges the license plate. Pays in cash.

(E/D) Maya runs away. Visions and sounds frighten her in the dark. She collapses.
(Irony) Sophia finds and consoles Maya.

EXT. DREAM WORLD – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD

Blake runs through the dream world with the monster wrapped around him. The realm has unpredictable weather, shi\ing scenes that throw them off-balance. Blake tries to convince the monster to let him go, so he can balance the world. He’s worried that his feet are leaking fire. The monster has to take him to the Dark Dreamer.

(M) Why did the monster kidnap Blake?
(M) Why is this realm off-balance?
(Irony) The monster wants to let Blake go, but will lose its life.

(E/D) Why are Blake’s feet leaking fire?
(Setup) Monster is taking Blake to the Dark Dreamer.
(M) Who is the Dark Dreamer?

EXT. NIGHTMARE REALM – ALWAYS NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA/LAYER

The monster, a Rider, brings Blake to his kidnapper, Lysandra as she’s creating a nightmare. She’s attracted to him, but doesn’t remember she is his wife. He gently tries to awaken her memories. She wants his power and to be the next Dreamweaver and live in reality. He refuses to answer her questions so she creates a nightmare to fight him.

(Payoff) Lysandra, his wife, is the Dark Dreamer.
(M) Why did Lysandra kidnap him?
(E/D, OL) He gently tries to have her remember.
(E/D) She’s furious she has memory loss.
(Payoff) She wants his power as the Dreamweaver and to live in reality.

(E/D) He won’t answer her and she creates a nightmare for him to fight.

EXT. SOPHIA’S HOME – NIGHT
Sophia and Maya arrive at Sophia’s home in a rural area.

(M) Where are they?
(Setup) They’re in a safe, small town.

(E/D) Maya thinks it’s jail.

EXT. MAYA’S BEDROOM ROOM – NIGHT – SECRET IDENTITY

Sophia takes Maya to her bedroom. Maya is silent and closes the door in her grandmother’s face. She reads the letter from her father and bursts into tears.

(E/D) Maya shows little interest in the house.
(Setup) Sophia tells her she’s going to school tomorrow.

(E/D) Maya closes the door in her grandmother’s face.

(Payoff) She reads her dad’s letter. Bursts into tears.

MAYA’S DREAM – IMMINENT THREAT

Maya dreams of a beautiful place unNl it becomes dark and threatening. She runs toward voices laughing and yelling to find the Dark Dreamer and her father. After two tries, the Dark Dreamer creates a watery prison to hold Blake which weakens him. Maya wakes up screaming and Sophia comforts her.

(Setup) Maya dreams of the realm.
(E/D) She runs toward laughing and yelling to find the Dark Dreamer and her father.

(Payoff) Dark Dreamer incarcerates Blake on the third try.
(Irony) Sophia comforts her.

ACT 4

INT. SOPHIA’S GARDEN – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

Maya joins Sophia in the garden and learns she’s been asleep for 32 hours and it’s time for school. Maya will have a new name, keep a low profile, and mind her, for their safety. Sophia gives her a choice between public school or foster care. Sophia drives her to school and will pick her up.

(OL) Why do they have to hide? Because her dad is a powerful man with enemies.
(Setup) Sophia gives her a choice, public school today or the foster care system.
(Irony) Maya will sNll have to go to public school.
(Setup) Maya will also have to obey her grandmother’s rules, have a new name, and keep a low profile.

(E/D) Maya vows to herself she’ll find a way out and find her father.

INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY – SUSPICION

Maya avoids kids who whisper about her. No one knows the answer to the math problem. She gazes at the book, raises her hand and gives the answer showing her photographic memory. Snide remarks from the clique leader.

(Setup) Maya is a new student and object of a lot of attention.
(E/D) She can hear what the students are saying about her—rich and dumb.
(Payoff) She has a photographic memory, checks out the math problem in the book. Answers the question, verbatim.

(Irony) Snide remarks from the clique leader who couldn’t answer the quesNon. Class dismissed.

INT. HALL – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT

Maya hurries out of class. A jealous clique of girls insults her. They part in distaste when a Bully with a fox taboo asks Maya a provocative question. When he leans in for a kiss, Maya knocks his to the floor. Kids jeer both of them. He jumps up, ready to fight. Maya tries to walk away, but Bully grabs her. She defends herself like a graceful bird in flight that can’t be touched. She defeats him as the principal arrives.

(Setup) Clique of girls insult her. They part when a bully with a fox taboo asks Maya a question. He leans in for a kiss.

(Payoff) She pushes him and he falls down.
(E/D) She tries to walk away, but he gets in her face, ready to fight.

(Payoff) Maya can’t avoid the Bully. She defends herself and defeats him.

(Irony) Bully wants to know how to fight like she does.
(E/D) Principal arrives to take them to the office.

INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY – WOUND

Maya and Bully get a lecture since she’s new and he’s in a group home. Neither admit to who started the fight. Principal suspends them for a week. Andrew secretly follows her.

(E/D) Maya and Bully listen to the principal’s lecture about Maya being new and the bully, Andrew, being in a group home.

(OL) Neither tell who started the fight.
(E/D) Both get suspended from school.
(Setup) Andrew secretly follows as Maya walks home.

ACT 5

EXT. SOPHIA’S HOME – DAY – MYSTERY

Maya plods up the road, but finds the house locked. She checks doors and windows. Sneaks around and discovers a back door to the basement. Andrew watches. Her fingers light up, unlock the door, and she hurries inside.

(M) Sophia is not home, the door is locked.
(M) Maya checks the back door. It’s for the basement.
(Irony) She unlocks the door to the only place that’s forbidden to her.

(M) Andrew watches her.
(Setup) What’s inside?

INT. BASEMENT – DAY – DECEPTION

Cabinets, boxes, and files are dark shadows in the dim light. Maya checks out the files and discovers pictures of portals, dream realms, and her father and grandfather being Dreamweavers. Unable to control her anger, a constellation appears on her wrist and lights up the room like she’s floating in a universe of stars. A swan-shaped portal opens in the wall. Sophia rushes in and tries to stop her. Maya throws boxes at Sophia. Hurries toward the portal. A paw grabs Maya and she disappears into the dream world.

(M) Orderly cabinets, boxes, files are dark shadows. Maya checks out the files.
(Setup) Andrew watches in a window.
(Payoff) Maya discovers answers about her grandfather, dad being Dreamweavers.
(E/D) Her anger lights up the constellation on her arm, and the room.

(Payoff) A swan-shaped portal opens in the wall.
(E/D) Sophia rushes in to stop her, afraid and wondering how the portal opened. Only Dreamweavers can go into the dream realm in their physical bodies. Maya will die, she can’t be a Dreamweaver. There has never been a female.

(Payoff) Maya throws boxes in Sophia’s way to get to the portal.
(Setup) Andrew sees it all.
(Irony) Maya reaches the portal. A paw inside grabs her wrist. She and the portal disappear in an electric storm.

[Sylvia Krawczyk]

Can not post so I put this here:

BWTV-AI Mod 3 – Lesson 12: Outline With Intrigue

Sylvia’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is…the exercises keep bringing in more depth. I am amazed at how much I am learning. It’s also interesting to be a part of the story taking on a morphing life of it’s own.

Beat Sheet

Show Concept: Charity galas and romantic mishaps intertwine with pediatric hospital healing and disappearing paranormal mysteries.

Logline: In the world of charity galas and romantic mishaps, a woman’s philanthropic journey uncovers hospital paranormal secrets and threatens to unveil the mysteries of Pediatric Patients Ghostly Guardians angry attitudes.

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[Nat Melvin]

Natalie’s Outline With Intrigue

WIL: Things change as I go.

1. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE, HAWAII – DAY – 1

Characters: SOLA, ASH, POLLY, STORYTELLER

Mystery/ Strange Behavior/ Intriguing World

Description: SOLA, panic stroke, flees from an ominous unseen force, followed by the bewildered gazes of her friends, POLLY, and ASH.

Open Loop: What caused ancient Hawaiian people to fall from the sky?

Mystery: Sola is the only one who sees ancient people falling

Empathy/Distress: Sola is terrified of something unseen

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Why does Sola see what no one else can see?

2. EXT. NEAR CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – CONTINUED – 1

SOLA, ASH, POLLY

Conspiracy / Secret: Ash tells Sola that Uncle Paul is called to see Kahuna Uli, and she rushes to see him.

Open Loop: Uli and Paul have a secret

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Paul didn’t come to see Sola first.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Uli and Paul hide something important from Sola

3. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2.5

ULI, PAUL (APOLLO IN DISGUISE)

Secret/ Secret Identity: ULI warns PAUL about Sola’s mother’s gift and wants to keep it a secret from Sola

Open Loop: Why is this gift dangerous?

Mystery: What happened to Sola’s mother?

Empathy/Distress: Disappearance of Sola’s mother is kept secret from her

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Sola decides to find out about her lineage and her mother

4. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – FLASHBACK – DAY 1.5

APOLLO, TULA

Intriguing World/ Hidden agenda/ Imminent Threat: Apollo sees Tula stealing a Lightning Bolt’s power

Open Loop: Tula steals Zeus’ power to protect her people

Mystery: Who is Tula and why she is in captivity

Empathy/Distress: Tula feels threatened by Hera and Zeus

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Apollo saves Sola from Hera’s wrath. Zeus’ power hidden in Tula’s necklace gives Sola his power

5. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – CONT’D – 6/8

ULI, PAUL

Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Paul argues that he promised Sola’s mother to give Sola a necklace for protection. Uli insists on keeping it safe somewhere else for the time being.

Open Loop: What does the necklace do

Mystery: Protection from what?

Empathy/Distress: Obligation vs potential danger

Payoff: Uli reveals an ancient prophecy

Irony: The necklace meant to protect Hawaiian people gives Sola the distractive power of Zeus

Setup: Sola is a chosen one

6. EXT. NEAR ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1

SOLA, POLLY

Wound/ Secret/ Conspiracy: Polly catches Sola eavesdropping on Uli’s and Paul’s conversation about her mother’s gift. She asks Polly for her help finding her mother’s necklace. She reluctantly agrees.

Open Loop: What happens when Sola finds the necklace

Mystery: Why did Paul never tell Sola about her mother

Empathy/Distress: Sola doesn’t know who and where her mother is

Payoff: The secret kept from Sola makes her want to find the necklace

Irony:

Setup:

7. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5

ULI, PAUL, EARTH SPIRIT

Secret/ Imminent Threat: Uli summons Earth Spirit who reveals an ancient curse that coincides with Sola’s BD.

Open Loop: Sola is important

Mystery: what will curse do

Empathy/Distress: The curse is imminent

Payoff: The secret of Sola’s importance is revealed

Irony:

Setup: A-Storyline; The war is imminent

8. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2

SOLA, POLLY

Hidden Layer/ Imminent Threat: The necklace zaps Sola with a bolt of lightning, making her disappear.

Open Loop: What makes Sola special

Mystery: What happens to Sola

Empathy/Distress: Sola’s motivation to find her mother

Payoff: Necklace gives Sola Zeus’ power

Irony:

Setup: C-Storyline; Sola’s newfound abilities

END OF ACT 1

Turning Point: Sola’s mother’s necklace activates Zeus’ power.

Act 2: (11.5)

9. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2.5

ULI, PAUL, POLLY

Imminent Threat/ Suspicion: Uli and Paul discuss the ramifications of the curse. Polly informs about Sola’s disappearance.

Open Loop: What can Sola do with her newfound power

Mystery: What will happen to Gods

Empathy/Distress: potential loss of Sola’s life

Payoff: The secret about the curse is revealed

Irony: Sola unleashed the curse

Setup: A- Storyline; Main conflict between the Gods

10. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5

SOLA, HECATE, HERA

Conspiracy/ Deception/ Hidden Agenda/ Suspicion: Sola overhears HECATE and HERA plotting a coup against Zeus.

Open Loop: How will Sola get back to the real world

Mystery: Hecate’s agenda

Empathy/Distress: Sola may be caught/ trapped in the mythical world

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-Story; Sola has opponents, Hecate & Hera

11. INT. ULI’S SHRINE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 1 1/8

ULI, LONO

Secret/ Imminent Threat: Uli tells LONO about the prophecy, Paul, and his students, and asks Lono to get the Elders involved

Open Loop: Will Lono help Uli, Sola, and Paul

Mystery: What happens to Paul and his students

Empathy/Distress: Lono is reluctant to help

Payoff: Uli takes action to prevent the war

Irony: Lono is Sola’s father

Setup: Uli needs to find someone else to help Sola

12. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1

PAUL, ASH

Mystery/ Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Imminent Threat: Paul asks Ash to keep students in the City of Refuge while he goes to awaken the Gods.

Open Loop: Will Paul succeed in warning the Gods

Mystery: how the curse will affect the Gods

Empathy/Distress: Paul and Ash are stressed out about the curse

Payoff: Paul wants to prepare the Olympians

Irony: Paul’s students (Greek demigods) seek refuge in the Hawaiian City of Refuge

Setup: B-storyline

13. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY (FLASHBACK) – 1.5

SOLA, TULA, APOLLO, ANTEROS

Mystery/ Conspiracy/ Hidden Layer/ Imminent Threat/ Secret Identity: Sola witnesses Tula giving Anteros one of her twin baby girls

Open Loop: The twins/

Mystery: what happens to the twins

Empathy/Distress: Tula feels threatened

Payoff: Sola suspects that she has Tula’s necklace

Irony:

Setup: C- Storyline; Sola has twin

14. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5

ULI, KAMA

Suspicion/ Uli and KAMA prepare to summon Sola back from the mythical realm. Kama steals Uli’s amulet for healing and protection.

Open Loop: Will Sola help to prevent the war between the Gods

Mystery: What will Sola do with the information she learned in Mt. Olympus

Empathy/Distress: Uli needs allies

Payoff: Uli has a plan to save Sola

Irony: Kama is not reliable

Setup: B-Storyline; Uli’s plan to prevent the war

15. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY 2.5

HECATE, ULI, KAMA, SOLA, HERA

Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Hecate spies on Uli, Kama, and Sola, and (decides she wants the girl). She says they’ll get the war.

Open Loop: What will Hera do

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Hecate learns about Sola’s power

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline; Hecate knows about the curse and Uli’s plan to prevent the war

END OF ACT 2

Turning Point: Hecate learns about the curse and Sola’s role in winning the war.

Act 3: (12 )

16. EXT. ULI’S SHRINE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2

ULI, LONO, KAMA

Hidden Agenda/ Secret: Uli asks Lono to advocate for protecting Sola and enlists Kama to bring her to Hawaiki Island.

Open Loop: What will Hawaiian Gods do

Mystery: Why Sola needs protection

Empathy/Distress: Lono doesn’t want to get involved

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline;

17. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1

SOLA, ASH, POLLY

Secret/ Suspicion: Sola looks for Uncle Paul. Ash tells her that Paul is getting ready to leave for LA. She tells Polly ab. Mt.Olympus.

Open Loop: Paul and the Olympians

Mystery: How will the Olympians react to the news about the curse

Empathy/Distress: Sola needs answers from Paul

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline; C-storyline

18. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1

PAUL

Mystery/ Hidden Agenda/ Strange Behavior: Paul gathers the Olympian Gods’ artifacts and teleports to Mt. Olympus

Open Loop: Will Paul’s trip be a success

Mystery: What do the artifacts do

Empathy/Distress: Paul forgets to take the artifacts

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline

19. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5

HECATE, HERA, ANTEROS

Hidden Agenda/ Deception/ Would/ Suspicion: Hecate tells Hera about a beautiful woman in Zeus’ Hall of Thrones. Hera leaves to face Zeus, while Hecate summons ANTEROS and orders him to bond with Sola and find out who she is.

Open Loop: Hera’s actions, Hecate’s new agenda

Mystery: Anteros

Empathy/Distress: Hera struggles with Zeus’ infidelity

Payoff: Hecate uses information about the curse to her advantage

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline, B-storyline

20. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2

LONO, KU

Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Lono tells Ku Uli’s idea of bringing Sola to Hawaiki Island. Ku suggests Kama will do his job.

Open Loop: Ku’s agenda

Mystery: Relationship between Kama and Ku

Empathy/Distress: Kama is trouble

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

21. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1

SOLA, POLLY, ANTEROS

Mystery/ Hidden Layer: Sola talks about a handsome guy she saw in Mt.Olympus and her strange powers

Open Loop: Sola’s power

Mystery: What happens in Mt. Olympus

Empathy/Distress: Sola’s inability to control her power

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Necklace has a destructive power

22. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2

KU, KAMA

Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Ku calls Kama’s debt, curses him to turn into a Tiki Statue if he lies, and enlists him to bedazzle Sola and deliver her to the Land of the Dead. Kama steals Ku’s war club and shrinks it into his body tattoos.

Open Loop: Ku’s agenda

Mystery: What is Kama’s debt?

Empathy/Distress: Kama’s obligation to Uli vs his debt to Ku

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

23. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5

HERA, ZEUS, APOLLO

Wound/ Imminent Threat: Hera accuses Zeus of infidelity. Apollo comes to life and brings in the news about the curse. Zeus sets to find the thief who stole his power.

Open Loop: what will Zeus do to the thief

Mystery: Who is the beautiful woman Zeus is in love with

Empathy/Distress: Hera’s wound

Payoff: Hecate’s plan to overthrow Zeus

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

24. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2

ASH, POLLY, SOLA. ANTEROS

Ash, Polly, and Sola are relocating the camp. Sola talks about Mt. Olympus. Anteros introduces himself as Antony, Paul’s intern from the Art Museum in LA. Sola falls in love with Anteros.

Open Loop: Will Anteros fulfill Hecate’s order

Mystery: History of Anteros and Hecate

Empathy/Distress: Sola is in danger

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline; Hecate’s plan

END OF ACT 3:

Turning Point: Sola falls for Anteros

Act 4: (12)

25. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 1

ULI, KANE

Suspicion: Uli asks KANE for support, but he relies on the majority opinion

Open Loop: Hawaiian Gods’ reaction to the news about the curse

Mystery: Will Uli succeed in convincing Hawaiian Gods to help

Empathy/Distress: No one believes in the curse

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline

26. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5

APOLLO, OLYMPIANS

Hidden Layer/ Imminent Threat/ Suspicion: Apollo discusses the curse and its ramifications with the Olympians, who are overwhelmed by fear. He pretends that their artifacts are safe.

Open Loop: What happens to the artifacts

Mystery: what is the power of artifacts

Empathy/Distress: Apollo has to lie about the artifacts

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: A-storyline, B-storyline

27. EXT. CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5

SOLA, KAMA, ASH, ANTEROS

Wound/ Hidden Agenda/ Suspicion: Sola shares her suspicion that Tula may be her missing mother. Anteros and Kama suggest using her power and offer their help to look for Sola’s mother

Open Loop: will Kama and Anteros succeed

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Sola’s gullibility

Payoff:

Irony: Sola shares her thoughts with those who have an agenda against her wellbeing

Setup: C-storyline, B-storyline

28. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5

HECATE, HERA

Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Hecate attempts to convince Hera to ally with Goddesses against Patriarchy, but Hera strikes Hecate with magic trying to find out what she knows about the woman Zeus loves

Open Loop: Hera’s relationship with Hecate and Zeus; Hecate’s plan to overthrow Zeus

Mystery: What is Hecate’s plan

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

29. INT. HALE MUA, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2

KU, LONO, KANE, ELDERS, ULI

Deception? Hidden Agenda: Ku meets with the Elders and insists on taking control of Earth before the curse takes effect

Open Loop: Will the curse affect the Hawaiian Gods

Mystery: Who created the curse and why

Empathy/Distress: Uli is outnumbered

Payoff: Ku uses the information he learned from Lono to his advantage

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

30. INT. THRONE ROOM, HADES’ PALACE, UNDERWORLD – 1.5

HECATE, PERSEPHONE, IRIS

Secret/ Deception/ Conspiracy/ Hidden Agenda: Hecate visits PERSEPHONE to convince her that Hera is dangerous to sway her to her side. She tells IRIS that her time is coming and that she would do anything to get her out, even if it involves using dark magic

Open Loop: Hecate’s relationship with Iris

Mystery: Who is Iris and how did she get to the Underworld

Empathy/Distress: Iris is disabled

Payoff: Hecate’s fight with Hera prompted her to look for allies

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

31. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2

KAMA, SOLA

Conspiracy/Deception/ Imminent Threat: Kama steals Apollo’s artifact and tries bedazzling Sola. Sola tries her necklace and gets imbued with Zeus’ power that banishes the Gods’ artifacts

Open Loop: What happens to Gods’ artifacts

Mystery: How Sola’s power affects herself and everybody else

Empathy/Distress: Sola is Kama’s target

Payoff: The necklace served its purpose

Irony: Made to protect, the necklace has a destructive force

Setup: A-storyline

END OF ACT 4

Turning Point: Sola banishes the Gods’ artifacts

Act 5: (5.5)

32. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5

APOLLO, OLYMPIANS

Imminent Threat: Apollo disappears, and the Olympians start losing their power and elope from Mt. Olympus

Open Loop: What Happens to Apollo and the Olympians

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Olympians’ loss of power will affect the order of Earth

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

33. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5

ULI, SOLA

Secret/ Hidden layer/ Imminent Threat/ Suspicion: Uli reveals to Sola her destiny and importance in preventing the war and saving the world from annihilation

Open Loop: is Sola cut out for this task

Mystery: What is the Hawaiian Gods’ plan

Empathy/Distress: Gods’ absence affects the order of Earth

Payoff: The prophecy is real

Irony: Sola has Zeus’ destructive power

Setup: A-storyline, B-storyline

34. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1

HECATE, HERA, ANTEROS

Conspiracy/ Suspicion: Hera leaves Mt.Olympus to gather allies. Hecate wants Sola’s power and orders Anteros to bring Sola to Mt. Olympus

Open Loop: Hera’s agenda

Mystery: Who are Hera’s friends

Empathy/Distress: Hecate knows Anteros’ secret

Payoff: Hecate recognizes Zeus’ power in Sola

Irony:

Setup: B-storyline

35. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUND, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1. 5

ASH, KAMA, SOLA, POLLY, ANTEROS

Mystery/ Hidden Agenda/ Conspiracy: Sola discusses ways to search for the Olympian Gods’ artifacts. Kama fails at his magic, and Anteros tries to charm Sola. She uses her powers and gets them swept away into a mysterious portal to a mythical world.

Open Loop: What happens to Sola and her companions

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Sola is a target in Gods’ game; the future of mankind depends on Sola

Payoff: Sola possesses Zeus’ power

Irony:

Setup: A, B, & C- storylines

END OF THE PILOT EPISODE

Cliffhanger: Sola uses her power and sweeps Kama and Anteros into a mythical world

[Jerry Robbins]

Jerry Robbins Outline with Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is that it takes a lot of work to get all these types of intrigue worked into the script, but putting them in improves your story tremendously.

TEASER

EXT. WEALTHY DISTRICT – NIGHT: Intriguing World

Alexia covertly observes a party in the wealthy district and follows Dr. Everett Montgomery, setting the stage for a mysterious event.

Open Loop: What is the significance of Dr. Montgomery’s presence at the party?

Mystery: Why is Alexia clandestinely observing AmaTech employees, and what is the purpose of Dr. Montgomery’s actions?

Empathy/Distress: None at this point.

Payoff: Dr. Montgomery’s actions and the secret nature of the party will contribute to unfolding mysteries later in the narrative.

Irony: The opulence of the wealthy district contrasts with the covert activities, hinting at the hidden layers within the world.

Setup: Dr. Montgomery’s role in the events is established, creating intrigue around his character.

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT: Mystery

Montgomery disappears into an alley, leading Alexia to discover a dead executive and a mysterious box pulsating with waves.

Open Loop: Why did Montgomery enter the alley, and what is the connection to the dead executive?

Mystery: The waves around the body and the mysterious box deepen the enigma surrounding the murder.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia experiences distress upon finding the dead body and is drawn into the mystery.

Payoff: The discovery of the box becomes a crucial element in the unfolding mystery.

Irony: The serene setting of the alley contrasts sharply with the unsettling discovery.

Setup: The murder and the mysterious box become central to the overarching mystery.

EXT. DOWNTOWN HOLONETWORK CITY – NIGHT: Conspiracy

Cipher, a Robob leader, is in downtown, causing a distraction with a RoBob Civil Rights Demonstration that turns into a riot.

Open Loop: What is Cipher’s role in the larger conspiracy, and how does the riot connect to the events?

Conspiracy: The demonstration turning into a riot hints at a broader conspiracy involving RoBobs.

Empathy/Distress: The riot creates distress, emphasizing the conflict within the world.

Payoff: The riot serves as a catalyst, setting the stage for Alexia’s involvement in the larger conspiracy.

Irony: The fight for civil rights turning chaotic adds layers of irony to the situation.

Setup: Cipher’s presence and the riot introduce the theme of a broader conspiracy against RoBobs.

ACT 1

INT. POLICE DEPT – NIGHT: Mystery

Police question Alexia about Dr. Moreno’s death. Gabe Moreno arrives to identify the body, coinciding with the arrival of RoBob demonstrators, including Aria Novak.

Open Loop: Why are RoBob demonstrators brought in immediately after Dr. Moreno’s identification, and how are they connected to the murder?

Mystery: The presence of RoBob demonstrators adds mystery to the circumstances surrounding Dr. Moreno’s death.

Empathy/Distress: Gabe’s identification of his father’s body elicits empathy and distress.

Payoff: The connection between Dr. Moreno’s murder and the RoBob demonstrators may be revealed.

Irony: The police questioning Alexia while RoBob activists are present creates an ironic contrast.

Setup: The involvement of RoBob demonstrators hints at a larger conflict and conspiracy.

INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – DAY: Mystery

Alexia examines the hologram pieces, discovering cut-up pictures. She receives a call from her office, prompting her to secure the pieces in a small safe.

Open Loop: What do the hologram pieces reveal, and why are they important to Alexia’s investigation?

Mystery: The origin and significance of the hologram pieces deepen the overarching mystery.

Empathy/Distress: None at this point.

Payoff: The hologram pieces may serve as crucial clues in solving the larger mystery.

Irony: Alexia securing the pieces in a safe adds an ironic layer, highlighting their importance.

Setup: The discovery of the hologram pieces sets the stage for Alexia’s further investigation.

INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY: Secret

Alexia is invited by AmaTech to meet the CEO, Mara Vossheimer, who reveals a project: find the killer of the AmaTech employee.

Open Loop: What is the nature of Mara’s project, and how is it connected to the murder?

Secret: Mara’s project for Alexia holds a secret agenda, shrouded in mystery.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia may experience distress as she navigates a web of secrets and hidden motives.

Payoff: Mara’s project could lead to revelations about the murder and larger conspiracy.

Irony: Alexia being invited by AmaTech to solve a murder within the company adds an ironic twist.

Setup: The secretive nature of Mara’s assignment introduces a hidden layer to the plot.

INT. MARA’S AMATECH OFFICE – DAY: Hidden Agenda

Mara Vossheimer, AmaTech’s CEO, assigns Alexia to find the killer, emphasizing Alexia’s exclusive allegiance to her.

Open Loop: What is Mara’s hidden agenda, and how does it relate to the murder investigation?

Hidden Agenda: Mara’s insistence on Alexia working only for her hints at a hidden motive.

Empathy/Distress: The exclusive agreement may cause distress as it limits Alexia’s options.

Payoff: Mara’s hidden agenda may be key to understanding the larger conspiracy.

Irony: Alexia’s commitment to Mara may lead her deeper into the web of secrets.

Setup: Mara’s strict conditions set the stage for potential conflicts and discoveries.

INT. LUKA’S SHOP – DAY: Mystery

Alexia takes the hologram box to Luka, who reveals that each piece records the whole picture, unveiling early plans for the RoBobs.

Open Loop: What do the early plans for the RoBobs reveal, and how are they connected to the murder?

Mystery: The revelation of the early RoBob plans deepens the mystery surrounding their creation.

Empathy/Distress: None at this point.

Payoff: The early RoBob plans may hold crucial information about the conspiracy.

Irony: The unsuspecting nature of Luka’s shop being the place of revelation adds irony.

Setup: The discovery of the early plans intensifies the investigation into AmaTech’s hidden activities.

ACT 2

INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY: Mystery

Alexia conducts due diligence on Ben Moreno’s background and receives a call from Iris Chen, requesting a meeting about the alley murder.

Open Loop: What information will Alexia uncover during her due diligence, and how does it connect to the murder?

Mystery: Ben Moreno’s background investigation introduces a new layer of mystery to the overall case.

Empathy/Distress: The distress caused by the murder pushes Alexia to delve deeper into the mystery.

Payoff: The due diligence might reveal critical information, advancing the murder investigation.

Irony: The contrast between the mundane office setting and the hidden secrets adds irony.

Setup: Alexia’s investigation into Ben Moreno’s background sets the stage for the unfolding conspiracy.

INT. SMALL ROOM – DAY: Conspiracy

Alexia meets with Iris Chen and Finn O’Connell, concerned about being connected to the murder. They hint at a larger conspiracy but refuse to disclose details without talking to Cipher.

Open Loop: What is the extent of the conspiracy that Iris and Finn allude to, and how is it linked to the murder?

Conspiracy: The scene introduces a broader conspiracy connected to the murder and RoBob civil rights.

Empathy/Distress: The activists’ distress over being connected to the murder deepens the emotional aspect.

Payoff: The revelation of the conspiracy may lead to a clearer understanding of the murder.

Irony: The activists, fighting for RoBob rights, being embroiled in a murder conspiracy adds irony.

Setup: The refusal to share details sets up the need for Alexia to seek out Cipher for more information.

EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT: Secret Identity

Alexia meets with Cipher, who hints at a wider anti-RoBob conspiracy linked to the murder and shows proof. He invites her to join him.

Open Loop: What proof does Cipher have, and how does it connect AmaTech to the murder and anti-RoBob activities?

Secret Identity: Cipher’s true identity and motives become more mysterious as he involves Alexia in the conspiracy.

Empathy/Distress: The invitation adds emotional weight as Alexia is drawn deeper into the conspiracy.

Payoff: Cipher’s proof could provide crucial information about the murder and the overarching plot.

Irony: Alexia trusting Cipher, who operates in the shadows, adds an ironic layer to their interaction.

Setup: Cipher’s invitation sets the stage for the revelation of deeper secrets and conflicts.

INT. UNDERGROUND DATA VAULT – NIGHT: Deception

Cipher reveals digital files linking AmaTech to plans against RoBobs, nearly caught by Mara’s Security Forces. Aria Novak rescues them.

Open Loop: What specific plans against RoBobs does the data vault reveal, and how does Mara fit into this?

Deception: The revelation of AmaTech’s plans and the near-capture add a layer of deception to the conspiracy.

Empathy/Distress: The danger they face and Aria’s rescue elicit a mix of distress and empathy.

Payoff: The data may expose AmaTech’s hidden agenda, bringing the conspiracy to light.

Irony: The contrast between the underground data vault and AmaTech’s public image adds irony.

Setup: Aria’s rescue sets the stage for potential alliances against AmaTech and further complications.

INT. LUKA’S SHOP – DAY: Hidden Agenda

Luka opposes Alexia’s plan, warning her about Cipher. She receives a call about a rebel group launching an offensive on the AmaTech research center.

Open Loop: Why does Luka oppose Alexia’s plan, and what is the significance of the rebel group’s offensive?

Hidden Agenda: Luka’s opposition hints at hidden motives, adding complexity to the characters.

Empathy/Distress: Luka’s warning and the rebel group’s offensive create tension and distress.

Payoff: The rebel group’s offensive may bring answers to Alexia’s investigation.

Irony: The disagreement between Alexia and Luka adds irony, especially if Luka’s concerns prove valid.

Setup: The rebel group’s offensive sets the stage for a major confrontation and potential revelations.

ACT 3

INT. AMATECH RESEARCH SITE – NIGHT: Imminent Threat

Alexia follows Iris Chen as the rebel group attacks the AmaTech research center. RoBobs battle security forces, and Alexia faces a dilemma between saving Luka and retrieving secret data.

Open Loop: What is the secret data, and how is it crucial to the overarching conspiracy?

Imminent Threat: The rebel attack creates a sense of urgency and imminent danger.

Empathy/Distress: The crossfire and Luka’s capture evoke distress, forcing Alexia to make a difficult choice.

Payoff: The decision made by Alexia may have consequences for the unfolding conspiracy.

Irony: The chaos and danger amid the research site add irony to Alexia’s pursuit of the truth.

Setup: The rebel attack sets the stage for potential revelations and escalations in the conflict.

INT. AMATECH RESEARCH SITE – ALMOST DAYBREAK: Hidden Layer

Alexia chooses to save Luka, and as they share an intense kiss, Cipher witnesses it. Aria arrives, urging them to leave, and Finn protects their getaway.

Open Loop: How will Cipher react to Alexia’s choice, and how will it impact their alliance?

Hidden Layer: The emotional dynamics between Alexia, Luka, and Cipher reveal hidden layers of relationships.

Empathy/Distress: The intense kiss amid chaos adds an emotional layer, while Aria’s urgency creates distress.

Payoff: The scene explores the complexity of emotions and relationships, setting the stage for future conflicts.

Irony: The passionate moment amid chaos and Cipher’s observation adds an ironic twist.

Setup: The emotional entanglements set the stage for potential conflicts within the group.

INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY: Mystery

Alexia reviews security footage, revealing Dr. Montgomery at the murder scene. No footage of the actual murder is found.

Open Loop: How did Dr. Montgomery’s presence relate to the murder, and why is there no footage of the crime?

Mystery: The discovery deepens the mystery surrounding Ben Moreno’s murder and Dr. Montgomery’s involvement.

Empathy/Distress: The frustration over the lack of evidence creates distress for Alexia.

Payoff: Unraveling the mystery could bring Alexia closer to solving the murder.

Irony: The absence of murder footage despite Dr. Montgomery’s presence adds an ironic element.

Setup: The mystery intensifies, urging Alexia to dig deeper into Dr. Montgomery’s actions.

EXT. OUTSIDE ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY: Secret Identity

Alexia updates Cipher on the murder and reveals her secret – Dr. Montgomery is her father. Cipher’s intense reaction raises questions.

Open Loop: Why is Cipher reacting intensely to the revelation, and how does it connect to his past?

Secret Identity: Alexia’s disclosure adds a layer of secret identity and complicates the relationships.

Empathy/Distress: Cipher’s intense reaction and Alexia’s vulnerability create emotional tension.

Payoff: The revelation may impact Alexia and Cipher’s dynamic, affecting their pursuit of the truth.

Irony: Alexia’s confession amid potential danger adds an ironic twist to the scene.

Setup: The disclosure sets the stage for potential conflicts and revelations regarding Cipher’s past.

INT. AMATECH’S SERVER FARM – NIGHT: Conspiracy

Cipher recaptures data revealing Dr. Montgomery’s surveillance on him and Alexia. They head to confront Dr. Montgomery at the original facility.

Open Loop: What is the significance of Dr. Montgomery’s surveillance on Cipher, and what will confronting him reveal?

Conspiracy: The scene deepens the conspiracy surrounding Dr. Montgomery and AmaTech.

Empathy/Distress: The confrontation ahead creates a sense of impending danger and distress.

Payoff: Confronting Dr. Montgomery may bring answers to Cipher’s surveillance and the overarching conspiracy.

Irony: The revelation of the surveillance adds an ironic layer to the characters’ relationships.

Setup: The confrontation sets the stage for a critical moment in the pursuit of the truth and potential conflicts with Dr. Montgomery.

ACT 4

INT. ABANDONED UNDERGROUND LAB – NIGHT: Secret Identity

Dr. Montgomery reveals his desire to create a self-replicating successor to the RoBob. Cipher attempts to confront him, but Security RoBobs intervene, and Alexia is restrained for a consciousness upload.

Open Loop: What is Dr. Montgomery’s ultimate plan for the self-replicating successor, and how does it connect to the broader conspiracy?

Secret Identity: Dr. Montgomery’s revelation adds a layer of secrecy and a deeper understanding of his motives.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia’s restraint and the impending consciousness upload create distress and urgency.

Payoff: The scene may unveil more about Dr. Montgomery’s motivations and his connection to the overarching conspiracy.

Irony: The conflict between Cipher and Dr. Montgomery, combined with the consciousness upload, adds an ironic twist.

Setup: The scene sets the stage for potential revelations about Dr. Montgomery’s experiments and the RoBob design.

EXT. ABANDONED UNDERGROUND LAB – NIGHT: Conspiracy

Aria, Luka, Iris, and Finn rescue Cipher and Alexia, battling Security RoBobs. Dr. Montgomery escapes through a secret passageway.

Open Loop: Where does the secret passageway lead, and what is Dr. Montgomery’s next move?

Conspiracy: The escape and the secret passageway deepen the conspiracy surrounding Dr. Montgomery and AmaTech.

Empathy/Distress: The rescue and the escape create a mix of relief and distress for the characters.

Payoff: The escape may have consequences for the characters and their pursuit of the truth.

Irony: Dr. Montgomery’s escape adds an ironic element to the characters’ efforts.

Setup: The escape sets the stage for the next phase of the investigation and potential confrontations.

INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: Hidden Agenda

Alexia, torn by betrayal, makes love with Luka. He urges her to leave town and start a new life with him, but she remains committed to finding her father’s killer.

Open Loop: What impact will Alexia’s intimate moment with Luka have on their relationship and the unfolding events?

Hidden Agenda: Luka’s plea for Alexia to leave town hints at his hidden agenda and motivations.

Empathy/Distress: The emotional turmoil of betrayal and love adds depth to the characters.

Payoff: The scene explores the complexity of Alexia’s emotions and her determination to solve the murder.

Irony: The intimate moment amid chaos and Luka’s plea creates an ironic contrast.

Setup: Luka’s plea sets the stage for potential conflicts between personal desires and professional duties.

ACT 5

INT. VINCE HOLLOWAY’S OFFICE – DAY: Deception

Alexia presents her theory about Ben Moreno and questions Vince Holloway’s involvement. Holloway hints at Dr. Montgomery’s potential role and warns her against interfering with Mara’s plans.

Open Loop: What role does Dr. Montgomery play, and how is he connected to the murder and Mara’s plans?

Deception: Holloway’s cryptic responses add a layer of deception and uncertainty.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia’s quest for the truth creates empathy, while Holloway’s warnings add distress.

Payoff: The scene may reveal Vince Holloway’s true intentions and set the stage for the next phase of the investigation.

Irony: Alexia seeking answers from Holloway, who might have his own secrets, adds an ironic twist.

Setup: Holloway’s warning sets up potential conflicts with Mara and Dr. Montgomery.

INT. SMALL PARK – DAY: Imminent Threat

Alexia is abducted by AmaTech security RoBobs under the watchful eye of Vince Holloway.

Open Loop: What is AmaTech’s motive behind kidnapping Alexia, and how will she escape this imminent threat?

Imminent Threat: The scene creates a sense of urgency and danger as Alexia is forcefully taken.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia’s abduction generates distress and concern for her safety.

Payoff: The payoff could involve discovering AmaTech’s motives and the consequences of the abduction.

Irony: Holloway’s silent observation adds an ironic element to the scene.

Setup: Alexia’s abduction sets up a potential rescue mission or confrontation with AmaTech.

INT. DR. MONTGOMERY’S LAB – DAY: Secret Identity

Dr. Montgomery unveils his plan, emphasizing the programmed nature of the RoBobs and implicating Mara. Alexia sees Mara on a balcony overlooking the lab.

Open Loop: How will Alexia navigate the revelations about RoBobs, Mara’s involvement, and Dr. Montgomery’s plan?

Secret Identity: The scene highlights Dr. Montgomery’s identity and his connection to Alexia, adding complexity.

Empathy/Distress: Alexia’s confrontation with her father and the mention of Mara’s involvement create emotional distress.

Payoff: The scene might offer crucial information about the conspiracy and the murder.

Irony: Mara’s presence during the revelation adds an ironic layer to the unfolding events.

Setup: The scene sets up potential conflicts between Alexia, Dr. Montgomery, and Mara.

INT. DR. MONTGOMERY’S LAB – DAY: Imminent Threat

Dr. Montgomery injects Alexia, initiating the next phase of his experiment. Cipher intervenes, yelling for Montgomery to stop, while Mara watches from above. Alexia screams in defiance as Montgomery’s digital grasp envelops her in a searing, blinding flash of light.

Open Loop: What is the purpose of Dr. Montgomery’s experiment, and how will Cipher’s intervention impact the outcome?

Imminent Threat: Alexia’s situation becomes increasingly perilous, raising the stakes.

Empathy/Distress: The impending experiment and Cipher’s attempt to save Alexia evoke empathy and distress.

Payoff: The scene may offer revelations about Dr. Montgomery’s experiment and the consequences for Alexia.

Irony: The clash between Cipher and Dr. Montgomery adds an ironic element to the scene.

Setup: The blinding flash sets up a potential resolution to the experiment and further conflicts with Mara and Dr. Montgomery.

TAG

INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – DAY: Empathy/Distress

Cipher cares for Alexia after her ordeal, and they share a moment of empathy and connection.

Open Loop: How will Alexia cope with the aftermath of the experiment, and how will her relationship with Cipher evolve?

Empathy/Distress: The scene explores the emotional aftermath of Alexia’s experience and her growing connection with Cipher.

Payoff: The emotional connection between Alexia and Cipher may offer solace and healing.

Irony: The promise to get Cipher a heart adds an ironic touch to their evolving relationship.

Setup: The scene sets up potential developments in Alexia’s character arc and her partnership with Cipher.

[Lenore]

BWTV Mod 3 – Lesson 12

Lenore Bechtel’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned from this assignment is that the more intrigues, open loops, empathy/distress, and setups the better.

TITLE: HYPNOTIZED BY HOPE

CONCEPT: Lilly must navigate the chaos of Hypnotist Joshua Hope’s zany methods and the antics of his new-hire Sally while keeping scandal reporter Quinten at bay.

TURNING POINT: Joshua hypnotizes Timothy, who thinks he’s invisible, to believe he and Dr. Dan, psychiatrist who referred him, can also be invisible.

A STORY: Lilly arranges for Joshua’s unorthodox treatments for Timothy and Tyrell while trying to hide them from Quinten.

B STORY: Timothy has trouble adjusting to visibility.

C STORY: Shay, the son Lilly gave up for adoption, comes to investigate his birth mother.

TEASER.

INT. KARMA KLUB – NIGHT

Start: Several tiered rows of occupied tables face the stage, where Joshua performs a hypnosis show. Intriguing world: Most customers’ attire reflects individuality and bohemian free spiritl.

Challenging situation: Will Joshua get volunteers on stage with to do as he wants?

Conflict: Lilly’s stern face and Quinten’s evil smiling one contrast with the highly appreciative audience. Mystery: What’s the stern woman’s relationship to Joshua? Mystery: Who is the evil smiling one?

Action: Joshua quickly hypnotizes six people six ways, then puts Sally under his arm and walks gloatingly around. On stage, dialogue between Joshua and Sally result in him hiring her to work in his office. Hidden layer: Lilly reacts with horror.

Finish: Quinten smirks and takes notes. Lillly tells Joshua these shows diminish his reputation and says he’d better be joking about hiring Sally. Wound: Has he hired pretty girls before? He’s not, and Lilly’s distraught. Empathy: And it’s Lilly who has to give them jobs to do?

ACT 1

1: INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – DAY

The room has a receptionist desk with a complicated telephone, two tall filing cabinets, a medical-type scale, a reclining chair next to a CD player with headphones, and six chairs for waiting clients.

An archway nead the middle leads to the group room and the CD/TV maintenance room. A door on one side leads to Joshua’s office. Two doors on the opposite side lead to Lilly’s office and the 11th floor hallway of Tulsa Towers.

Start: Lilly paces, impatiently waiting for Joshua who is behind closed doors.

Challening Situation: Lilly tells Vicki that they need to keep Quinten from finding out about Joshua’s weird treatments for weird patients. Setup: Quinten is coming to write an expose.

Conflict: Vicki, reading National Intrigue, admires Quinten for putting so many bad people out of business. Empathy for Lilly having such a naive employee.

Action: Sally shows a picture Quinten took last night at the show. More empathy for Lilly for this new naive employee.

Finish: Vicki says Joshua is being briefed by Dr. Dan about a new patient he’s referring.

Mystery: Why is a psychiatrist referring a client to a hypnotist.

2: INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Joshua’s desk and chair, plus two reclining chairs, dominate the room’s amusing, masculine decor. Intriguing world: Why does both the reception room and Joshua’s office have reclining chairs?

Start: Dr. Dan admits he’s referring Timothy before his insurance runs out. Open loop: What has money got to do with this?

Challenging situation: Dr. Dan hasn’t helped Timothy, who thinks he’s invisible, but can Joshua? Conspiracy: Joshua’s sideway smile and assurance indicate his prescribed cure is sure to be weird.

Conflict: Dr. Dan believes long term psychotherapy more benefiicial than short-term hypnotherpy. Deception: Dr. Dan had his chance with psychotherapy with Timothy, but failed to help him.

Action: Joshua throws Dr. Dan’s lengthy referral into his “to file” box, finding the only thing interesting being Timothy’s distrust of banks because one confiscated his entire $500 in maintenance fees. Setup: Why does this fact interest Joshua?

Finish: Dr. Dan agrees to participate in anything Joshua plans to help Timothy. Open loop: What can the plan possibly be?

3: INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER

Start: Sally reports she’s ruined Joshua’s master CDs, but Joshua forgives her. Mystery: Just what is Sally’s relationship with Joshua?

Challenging situation: Tyrell gets free appointment, but Joshua won’t tell why. Empathy for Lilly who runs the office and feels she deserve to know.

Conflict: Lilly was waiting to talk to Joshua and doesn’t like it when he sees Tyrell first. Mystery: Why is Tyrell important enough for Joshua to antagonize Lilly?

Action: Joshua’s happy-go-lucky attitude changes as he take Tyrell into his office.

Mystery: Why is Joshua not as happy as he pretended to be when Tyrell arrived?

Finish: Lilly storms into her office, but restrains herself from slamming the door. Imminent threat: Lilly hoped to warn Joshua that Quinten was coming to write a scandal, which would ruin their chances of book publication and success.

4. LILLY’S PRIVATE OFFICE – LATER

The cluttered desk, big computer monitor, filing cabinet with one drawer half opened, and pictureless walls reflect its occupant’s no-nonsense get-down-to-business attitude.

Start: Joshua comes to Lilly’s office. Strange behavior: Joshua, who’s never serious, apologizes for seeing Tyrell before her.

Challenging situation: Lilly reports that Quinten is coming to uncover a scandal. Open loop: When will Quinten arrive?

Conflict: Joshua laughs that this office is the place to find one. Empathy for Lilly, who badly wants Joshua not to do crazy things when Quinten is around.

Action: Joshua massages Lilly’’s shoulders, gives her five $100 bills, and asks her to set up a fake bank robbery. Suspicion: Lilly touches is hand on her shoulder. Is she hiding affection for him?

Finish: After arguing against Joshua’s plan, Lilly gets on the phone with Tulsa Tower’s bank manager. Open loop: Will the fake bank robbery take place?

5. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER

Start: Timothy creeps into the office and startles Vicki. Irony: Although he thinks he’s invisible, he seems always as if he’s trying to hide himself.

Challenging situation: Vicki seats him and puts earphones on him.

Conflict: Timothy rebels when Vicki touches him. Mystery: Has he never been touched by a woman before?

Finish: He settles down and listens to Joshua’s pre-conditioning CD.

6. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Timothy won’t let Vicki lead him, so she motions him into Joshua’s office.

Challenging situation: Joshua pretends he can’t see him. Deception: Joshua tells him he and Dr. Dan can also be invisible any time they want.

Conflict: Timothy argues that Joshua is lying to him about he and Dr. Dan also being invisible. Strange behavior: Every movement Timothy makes is slinky and scared.

Finish: Joshua hypnotizes Timothy and sets him up to believe everything he’s told him is true. Hidden layer: He sets him up to fall into a hypnotic trance every time Joshua says “sleep.”

7. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Timothy slinks out of Joshua’s office. Empathy for Timothy, who truly does need help.

Challenging situation: Vicki and Lilly don’t know how Joshua wants them to react.

Conflict: Both say know when Joshua asks if they saw Timothy, but Sally comes in, heads toward Timothy, and asks, “Who’s this good looking guy?”

Action: Timothy screams and exits, screaming that Joshua is crazy and his office is full of crazy women.

Finish: Joshua smiles and says, “He’ll be back.” Open loop: Will he be back?

ACT 2

8. INT. LILLY’S PRIVATE OFFICE – LATER

Start: Joshua confirms that Lilly has the bank robbery set up.

Challenging situation: They argue about Sally ineptness.

Conflict: Lilly explodes when Joshua says Sally will each exercise classes.

Finish: Vicki buzzes to let Lilly know a woman named Kathy wants to see her and that Timothy is back in Joshua’s office. A shocked Lilly grabs Kathy and they exit quickly to take the $500 to the bank. Mystery: Why was Lilly shocked to see Kathy? Who is she anyway?

9. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY

Start: Timothy’s eyes close as Joshua talks to him.

Challenging situation: He frowns as Joshua tells him he and Dr. Dan are going to be invisible too.

Conflict: He smiles when Joshua tells him he’s going to steal back the money the bank stole from him.

Finish: Joshua tells him how easy their escapade will be, and he looks confident as he awakens.

10. INT. ELEVATOR – LATER

One of the advertisements scattered among mirrors on the elevator walls features Joshua’s weight control TV show.

Start: Joshua says “sleep,” Timothy falls into a trance, and Dr. Dan catches him.

Challenging situation: Dr. Dan is not happy with what they’re about to do.

Conflct: Dr. Dan argues that Joshua should be able to hypnotize Timothy to believe he’s visible.

Finish: Joshua gives Dr. Dan the option to opt out.

11. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Start: Quinten enters and announces who he is. Imminent threat: He’ll be in the office when Joshua returns with Timothy after the fake bank robbery.

Challenging situation: Lilly bursts from her office to keep Quinten at bay.

Conflict: Quinten is not intereted in seeing a Joshua TV show, as Lilly suggests.

Action: Vicki flirts with Quinten, who shows interest until Sally comes on the scene.

Finish: To Lilly’s relief, he’s interested in letting Sally show him some CDs. .

12. INT. BANK – MOMENTS LATER

The small bank has only two teller stations, an alcove with the manager’s desk, and a chair at the entrance where a guard sometimes sits.

Start: Timothy, Dr. Dan, and Joshua walk boldly into the bank.

Challenging situation: Timothy stops and shivers in front of a bank guard who pretends not to see him.

Conflict: Not able to use language and spoil the invisible illusion, Joshua physically pushes Timothy to the spot where a bank teller is counting out $20 bills.

MONTAGE: Timothy repeatedly pulls out one $20 bill at a time.

13. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Start: Maudie, a weight client, tells Vicki she’ll sit and wait until Joshua gets back. Mystery: Why did she come to see Joshua without an appointment?

Challenging situation: Bernadine bursts in, immediately going into a past life regression. Mystery: Why does she come to Joshua’s office to have her breakthroughs.

Conflict: Lilly starts recording Bernadine and tries unsuccessfully to guide her to the group room. Mystery: Why is recording the breakthrough as important to Lilly as getting her out of the reception room so Quinten won’t see her?

Action: Sally brings Quinten back to the reception room. Empathy for Lilly who has too much distress to handle this time.

Finish: Vicki and Lilly both try to steer them all into the group room.

14. INT. BANK – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Start: Timothy picks up the last $500.

Challening situation: The teller looks up and screams.

Conflict: Timothy stumbles over the bank guard as they run out.

Action: Joshua helps Timothy up.

Finish: The three shout “Hurrah” as they exit the bank.

15. INT. ENCLOSED STAIRWAY – MOMENTS LATER

Concrete stairs lead up then back to each floor of the 16 story building.

Start: Timothy can’t see Joshua or Dr. Dan, so Joshua hypnotizes him and tells him they’re no longer invisible, and they start the ascent from first floor to the eleventh.

Challenging situation: Timothy is so happy about being seen, he keeps stopping and jumping up and down.

Conflict: Joshua wants them to keep running, but out-of-breath Dr. Dan prefers taking breaks and listening to Timothy’s delight at being visible.

Finish: Out of breath, they finally make it to the eleventh floor.

16. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Start: The three run in to the reception room where Bernadine is having a breakthrough, witnessed by Maudie, Sally, and Quinten as Lilly and Vicki try to push all toward the group room.

Challenging situation: Dr. Dan bumps into Bernadine and is immediately fascinated by her.

Conflict: Timothy bumps into Maudie, exposing her fat disguise. Mystery: Why has Maudie padded her body to look fat?

Action: Sally reveals to Quinten the Maudie was the subject of the last TV show, but an astounded Lilly assures him the show will be re-shot with a new subject.

Finish: To Lilly’s dismay, Sally leads Quinten toward the CD room to see the bad Maudie show. Imminent threat: Publicity that Joshua used a fake fatty on his show to impress with a fake weight loss would certainly get his show cancelled and damage his reputation.

ACT 3

17. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Joshua finds out that Maudie pretended to be fat because of a suggestion he gave her at a Chamber of Commerce show.

Challenging situation: He has set her up to enjoy being around him and helping him on stage.

Conflict: She had not taken the suggestion when he told her it was for one night only.

Action: He hypnotizes her.

Finish: He tells her she’s now a confident person, not needing to be around anyone else to feel good about herself. Just the opposite, she will now always be bold, aggressive, and happy all by herself.

18. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Joshua introduces Timothy to Maudie takes his arm, almost discombobulating him, and lures him out for coffee.

Challenging situation: Shay, who says he’s there to research hypnosis for a term paper, begs Joshua for some of his time. Shay has a hidden agenda which Joshua soon discovers.

Conflict: Vicki tells Joshua that Tyrell called and is coming back. Secret: Why does Tyrell feel free to come in unaccounced twice the same day?

Finish: Joshua takes Shay into his office.

19. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Joshua asks Shay if he’d like to be hypnotized.

Challenging sitatuioon: Shay says he doubt he could be, but starts nodding off when Joshua lowers his voice.

Conflict: Joshua recognizes that Shay is lying to him.

Finish: Shay tells him the truth: He wants a chance to investigate Lilly, his birth mother.

20. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Start: As Joshua and Shay enter, Vicki tells Joshua that Tyrell is listening to a pre-conditioning CD.. Then she flirts with Shay.

Challenging situation: Sally slinks and Quinten smirks as he tells Joshua he’s seen the bad Maudie show. Lilly rushes from her office with a schedule for filming a new one.

Conflict: Joshua announces he’s hired Shay to handle CD reproduction, and Vicki will teach him. Lilly protests they don’t need more employees.

Finish: Joshua leads Lilly aside and tells her to find a safe that can’t be opened for part of Tyrell’s treatment.

MONTAGE INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE JOSHUA GRINNING AS HE GIVES SUGGESTIONS TO A HYPNOTIZED TYRELL.

21. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER

Start: Vicki cleans up her desk, getting ready to leave for the day.

Challenging situation: Also getting ready to leave, Lilly announces she’s on her way to pick up what’s needed for Tyrell’s treatment and she might come in late tomorrow.

Conflict: Entering from the CD room with Sally, Quinten announces he’s well on his way to putting Joshua out of business. Sally asks Lilly to make it by 9 tomorrow for her exercise class.

Finish: Kathy comes in, embarrassing and dismaying Lilly by inviting her out to dinner and more. Suspicion: Are Kathy and Lilly lesbian lovers?

ACT 4

22. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – NEXT DAY

Start: Sally moves chairs around in preparation for her exercise class.

Challenging situation: Lilly arrives, is glad to find Maudie and Vicki as Sally’s only participants, and says they should cancel the class.

Conflict: Ruining Lilly’s planned cancellation, Dr. Dan arrives, doing a favor for a buddy by exercising with Sally who leads them in a routine she calls “Six with Sally.”

Finish: Joshua joins the exercisers and announces “Six with Sally” will now become a segment on his TV show. Lilly nearly collapses. Distress for Lilly who puts up with a lot, but Empathy for Sally who seems dumb but has received two promotions in only two days on the job.

23. INT. DR. DAN’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATE MORNING

A receptionist desk sits in front of a wall of filing cabinets and ten chairs flank the walls, covered with modern art of various shrunken heads. A silver door leads to Dr. Dan’s office.

Start: Lilly pulls a safe into Dr. Dan’s reception room.

Challenging situation: Receptionist Dixie tries to get her to leave because the office closes for lunch.

Conflict: Lilly pushes past her and opens door to Dr. Dan’s private office.

Finish: Dr. Dan asks, “Didn’t I do enough for my buddy yesterday?”

24. INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

A barrel chair sits next to a reclining chaise across from an ornate desk in this flamboyant room with touches of silver throughout. Dr. Dan’s safe is behind what appears to be a regular cabinet door.

Start: Lilly explains that Joshua needs this unopenable safe in his office for a treatment for Tyrell. Aha! Joshua must be planning a fake safecracking attempt!

Challenging situation: They have trouble moving Dr. Dan’s actual safe into his private bathroom as they discuss who Tyrell truly might be. Secret identity: They exchange possibilities about why Joshua wants him kept secret.

Conflict: With the fake safe in its spot, Dr. Dan has apprehensions about the scheme, afraid Tyrell might steal something else when he finds he can’t open the safe.

Finish: Lilly persuades him that Joshua will be with Tyrell and will not let that happen. Hidden layer: Lilly’s assurance that Joshua will pay for anything lost says much about Joshua’s morality.

25. INT. TULSA TOWER CAFETERIA – LUNCH HOUR

Booths flank two walls and tables for six fill the center of this room at the end of the cafeteria line.

Start: Lilly and Kathy talk seriously as they eat lunch in a corner booth. Mystery: Their conversation will not be heard. What could it be about?

Challenging situation: Quinten eavesdrops and gleefully takes notes on their conversation.

Conflict: Quinten snaps a picture of them, thanking Lilly for spicing up his Joshua story.

Finish: Lilly tells Kathy she’ll give her an answer at Bernadine’s show opening tonight.

MONTAGE: JOSHUA AND TYRELL GO UP ELEVATOR, THEN DOWN HALL, AND JOSHUA USES A KEY TO SNEAK THROUGH DR. DAN’S RECEPTION ROOM TO HIS OFFICE.

26. INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE—MOMENTS LATER

Start: Joshua stands guard as Tyrell repeatedly fails to open the safe.

Challenging situation: Joshua talks Tyrell out of using the bathrooom.

Conflict: Tyrell opens Dr. Dan’s desk drawers, finds a petty cash envelope, and he and Joshua argue about what to do with it. Joshua solves the argument by hypnotizing him to put it back.

Finish: They leave to go back to Joshua’s office to continue Tyrell’s treatment.

27. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Tyrell reclines in the chair closest to Joshua’s desk.

Challenging situation: Tyrell looks very tempted when Joshua drops Dr. Dan’s office key on his desk next to a stapler.

Conflict: Tyrell says he doesn’t want to be hypnotized and doesn’t realize he already is.

Action: Joshua says, “When you wake up, you won’t remember a thing I told you but you’ll do exactly what I’m going to tell you to do.”

Finish: The key is no longer on the desk next to the stapler.

28. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER

Start: Dr. Dan and Timothy—in crisis—lumber in, their repartee bringing Lilly right out of her office.

Challlenging situation: Timothy is plagued with guilt about stealing $500 and wants to take it back.

Conflict: Joshua is in session with a stop smoking group being watched by Quinten.

Finish: Lilly steers Dr. Dan and Timothy into Joshua’s office to wait.

29. INT. LILLY’S OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Lilly phones the bank manager and explains the situation.

Challenging situation: The bank has lots of customers.

Conflict: Lilly tells the bank manager Joshua will have to cancel the two remaining appointments needed to maintain her 15-year-old son’s cure from thumb sucking unless she helps him with this one. Strange behavior: This probably the first time in Lilly’s life that she’s ever issued a threat.

Finish: The bank manager says when Lilly calls that they’re on their way, she’ll tell all customers what’s going on.

MONTAGE OF SMOKING GROUP ONE BY ONE SHAKING JOSHUA’S HAND AND THEN INHALING AND EXHALING BIG BREATHS.

30. INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

Start: Timothy says he needs to return the money he stole.

Challenging situation: He’s already spent 88 of the 500 dollars.

Conflict: Dr. Dan seethes as Joshua explains how that happens to be the exact amount of rebate Dr. Dan owes Timothy for his last two appointments. $44 each.

Finish: Lilly opens Joshua’s office door, nods at Joshua, and Joshua nods back.

MONTAGE OF CUSTOMERS WATCHING IN AMAZEMENT AS JOSHUA, DR. DAN, AND TIMOTHY STRIDE CONFIDENTLY INTO THE BANK AND TIMOTHY PUTS BILLS BACK ON A STACK THE TELLER COUNTS.

31. INT. BANK – CONTINUOUS

Start: Timothy puts the last bill in the stack the teller counts.

Challenging situatiion: The teller screams and customers scream.

Conflict: The bank guard pretends to try to catch Timothy.

Finish: The three escape to the stairwell.

32. INT. STAIRWALL – MOMENTS LATER

Start: As they start the climb up, Timothy feels his body, and complains that he can’t stay invisible anymore.

Challenging situation: Dr. Dan, painfully huffing, complains that invisibility is too strenuous.

Conflict: Timothy regrets that he no longer will be able to have invisible adventures with Joshua and Dr. Dan.

Finish: Dr. Dan insist they go up only to the second floor, then get out to take the elevator.

33. INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Start: The Three enter and find Bernadine being interviewed by Quinten, with Shay and Sally listening, but pretending to be searching for something in the filing cabinet.

Challenging situation: Bernadine recognizes Timothy from a previous life and invites him to her opening tonight. He says he already has a date. She says to bring her.

Conflict: Sally gives Timothy two CDs ordered by Joshua: Overcome Shyness and Enjoy Sexual Pleasure. Dr. Dan scolds Joshua for Timothy’s treatment—too much too soon.

Action: Quinten confronts Lilly about Kathy, and Lilly tells him Kathy was a man when the two were married. Mystery: Why has Lilly’s ex-hussband now returned as a woman? What can she possibly want?

Finish: Joshua and Shay hear her confession—Shay with horror (Might Kathy be his father?), Joshua with delight—maybe pretended, maybe not. Vicki is stunned and Sally loves it.

ACT 5

34. INT. KARMA KLUB – NIGHT

Start: Dr. Dan, with his wife Gina, sit at a front center table with Joshua, Vicki, Shay, and Sally. Lilly and Kathy sit at a dark corner booth.

Challenging situation: Just as lights are lowered, Maudie drags timid Timothy in, and they semi-hide at a back booth, conspicuous among the weirdly dressed crowd.

Conflict: Bernadine finishes the first song of her act with a reprimand to Quinten for snapping pictures of all of the above.

Finish: Bernadine begins a let-go-and-let-love meditation to restore the audience’s serentiy.

35. INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE – SIMULTANEOUSLY

Start: Tyrell tries repeatedly and unsuccessfuly to open the unopenable safe.

Challenging situation: Hearing someone come into the reception room, Tyrell hides under the desk.

Conflict: Two police barge in, handcuff him, and read him his rights.

Finish: Tyrell tells them Joshua hypnotized him and told him to commit this crime.

36. INT. KARMA KLUB – CONTINUOUS

Start: Gina doesn’t like Dr. Dan’s fascination with Bernardine as she sings and drums to a song about reincarnation.

Challenging situation: As she takes her bow, two police barge in, pulling Tyrell.

Conflict: They confront Joshua and say Tyrell blamed him for his failed safecracking attempt.

Action:

Bernardine gets Tyrell on stage and entices his accusations against Joshua. Tyrell describes every detail of Joshua’s involvement in vivid terms.

Lilly weeps and collapses in Kathy’s arms. Open loop: What was the answer she promised to give Kathy this night? What was the question?

Timothy weeps and collapses into Maudie’s arms. Open loop: Without Joshua, will Timothy be able to adapt to visibility?

Vicki tries to collapse into Shay’s, but he resists. Open loop: Will Vicki ever find the right guy to flirt with? Will Shay stick around and let Lilly know she’s his mother?

Gina puts a protective arm around Dr. Dan who slumps as if trying not to be noticed. Open loop: Will Dr. Dan have sense enough to restrain his enthrallment with Bernadine?

Both policemen blow shrill whistles, and a hush falls over the nightclub.

Finish: The police ask Joshua, “Are you responsible for this man’s attempted safecracking tonight?” Joshua smiles and says “yes.” Open loop & Secret: Why did Tyrell’s treatment involve exposing Joshua’s involvement?

Quinten gleefully films it all. Open loop: What can Joshua do to keep Quinten from writing his expose? Open loop: How did Joshua meet Tyrell in the first place?

BLACKOUT

The teaser for Episode 2 will have Tyrell playing piano on stage, with Bernadine singing and playing her frame drum. Joshua had not only set Tyrell up for a second safecracking failure, he’d set up the police to catch him, make him confess Joshua’s involvement, and bring him to the Karma Klub where he could have his musical talent appreciated.

[Jerry Robbins]

will accept reviews. jerryr48@gmail.com

• This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by  Jerry Robbins.

[Margaret]

Margaret’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned: I didn’t have many payoffs – most are for later episodes.

Act 1 – pages 1-16, set up and see the Old Ways

Teaser:

1. EXT. TOP OF MASADA – DAY: MYSTERY

Jack argues with tourists, rails against the religious leader that initiated the historic group suicide. Circles of sun light bounce off Jack’s body, reflect in Jack’s sunglasses, reflection changes into the historic Masada figures. An earthquake, Jack falls into a crevasse, disappears.

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[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu’s Outline With Intrigue

“What I learned doing this assignment is… to identify the intrigue in each scene and list out the components. It helped to move the story along to create mystery, open loops, empathy/ distress, setups/payoff and irony.”

Title: Hawala Heist

Format/Genre: One-Hour Heist Thriller Series

Show Concept: A rookie RAW agent joins a crew of international thieves to penetrate an underground banking network to retrieve a ledger that can crash the financial world.

Pilot Concept: Rookie agent, Priya joins a heist team to decode messages to stop a terror attack that is used as a distraction for the sale of a ledger on the Hawala market.

Inciting Incident: Priya is forced to join the heist team to stop a terror attack when her class project turns into a real covert operation.

A Story: The covert operation

B Story: The Hawala network

C Story: Heist team secrets

Mystery 1: Who is the mole in the heist team who gave away their plan

Mystery 2: What is the ghost ledger and how do you steal it?

Impossible Goal: To steal the elusive ledger and bring down the powerful underground banking network of hawala

Major Conflict: Priya and the heist team have a mole that is working with the Hawala network they are trying to bring down by stealing the ghost ledger.

PILOT BEAT SHEET (with INTRIGUE)

Teaser

1. INTRIGUE 1: SECRET IDENTITY / INTRIGUING WORLD

EXT. BACK ALLEYS / FESTIVE CELEBRATIONS (MUMBAI) – EVENING

PRIYA RAO (AKA Rookie) weaves through the back alleys of Mumbai on a motorcycle and through the jam-packed streets with festive revelers in the pouring rain as she tries to lose the ominous figures tracking her to arrive at the safe house.

Open Loop: Who is chasing Priya?

Mystery: Why is Priya risking her life to get away?

Empathy/Distress: jam-packed streets when it’s literally your life on the line.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: a figure in the shadows watching her arrive at the safe house

2. INTRIGUE 2: INTRIGUING WORLD / HIDDEN AGENDA

EXT/INT. SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT

Narrowly escaping, she arrives at a safe house, revealing a ledger from her backpack. The heist team including ARJUN NAIR (AN), MEERA VERMA (MV), SOFIA PETROVNA (SP), MANDEEP SINGH (MS), LINA CHEN (LC), question the ledger’s authenticity when heavily armed military trucks show up outside. They scurry into the woods to watch from a safe distance while the safe house is raided by RAW agents. Priya notices that the ledger is blank beyond the first few pages… The team is shocked—the real ledger is still out there, and they’ve been betrayed by one of their own.

Open Loop: why are RAW agents raiding the safe house?

Mystery: What’s in the ledger? Who are the heist team?

Empathy/Distress: after risking her life, the ledger turns out to be blank

Payoff:

Irony: risking her life for a fake ledger

Setup:

3. TEASER TURNING POINT: INTRIGUE 3: HIDDEN LAYER / MYSTERY

INT. DINER – DAY

Priya dejected for letting down the team and exhausted from the chase waits for her order when she discovers a secret compartment in her backpack. She finds a cryptic message in a book that reminds her of her childhood. The message triggers memories of her father’s mysterious gatherings and she leaves abruptly.

Open Loop: how is her father connected to the ledger?

Mystery: what were her father’s mysterious gatherings

Empathy/Distress: who is this girl who childhood was spent amongst strangers

Payoff: secret compartment in her backpack

Irony:

Setup: A cryptic message in the book reminds her of her childhood

Act 1:

4. INTIGUE 4: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR

INT. UNIVERSITY LAWNS – DAY

Priya traces patterns in the air as she tries to solve a math problem, she created from watching a group of students playing on the lawns. She ignores her CLASSMATES who are having fun at her expense and declines their invitation to go out for drinks.

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: nerdy girl who gets teased by her classmates

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: traces patterns and solves math problems

5. INTRIGUE 5: WOUND

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – EVENING

Priya interrupts her martial arts training is scribbling equations on the huge whiteboard in her room when a bell rings – her ailing FATHER is calling for her – interrupting her flow. She cares for her sick father, but her mind is preoccupied. She ignores a message from her classmates who post a picture of them having fun at a club. She tucks her father in and reads a book of puzzles to him and gets a brainwave that helps her crack her problem.

Open Loop:

Mystery: what problem is she trying to solve?

Empathy/Distress: caring for her ailing father while studying.

Payoff:

Irony: puzzles as bedtime stories

Setup: Priya has martial arts skills to defend herself and get out of tricky situations like the bathroom stall. She reads the book of puzzles to her dad which helps her crack the code that reveals a terror threat.

6. INTRIGUE 6: DECEPTION / MYSTERY / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT

HARSH MEHTA (AKA The Cobra) watches the crowd from his perch scanning for any threats. Priya’s classmates are a riot on the floor. SOFIA PETROVNA (AKA Chameleon) in disguise watches over the group and makes eye contact with Harsh. Sofia gets rattled and tries to shake it off in the bathroom and speaks into her earpiece that she’s been made. Harsh walks past a photo wall to enter the dungeon where they are holding a man bruised and tied to a chair, he breaks off his finger and walks away and almost bumps into Mandeep.

Open Loop: who is Sofia and why is she watching Priya’s classmates?

Mystery: Who is Sofia talking to? Why is she rattled? Why is Harsh torturing a man in the dungeon?

Empathy/Distress: a man being tortured in the dungeon.

Payoff:

Irony: screams of pain muffled by screams of joy and revelry

Setup: who is being tortured and why? The photo wall has a photo of Harsh, Arjun and Sofia that Mandeep finds.

7. INTRIGUE 7: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / HIDDEN LAYER / WOUND

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – NIGHT

Priya is in a strange recurring dream involving symbols and numbers that she doesn’t understand, hinting at her hidden lineage and her mind’s mysterious workings. She screams as she is plunged into the abyss. She wakes up from her nightmare shaken. She scribbles down some of the numbers and symbols. She sneaks into her father’s room and takes the couch holding her book close to her chest as she tries to fall back asleep.

Open Loop: What do the symbols in Priya’s dream mean?

Mystery: why does she have these recurring dreams?

Empathy/Distress: She wakes up from a nightmare

Payoff:

Irony: the symbols in her dream are suppressed memories

Setup: the book of symbols helps her crack the code

8. INTRIGUE 8: DECEPTION / WOUND

INT. LECTURE HALL – DAY

Priya and her classmates are given a problem in class by the PROFESSOR. Priya’s talent in pattern recognition and cryptanalysis shines during the project but she catches a classmate trying to steal her work. Priya is publicly accused by her professor of stealing another student’s work, a plot to test her reactions under pressure. Priya’s professor apologizes and commends her work after everyone leaves.

Open Loop:

Mystery: why is the professor playing games with her

Empathy/Distress: she is falsely accused of cheating in public.

Payoff: Priya’s talent in pattern recognition and cryptanalysis shines during the class project

Irony: her classmate stole her work, and she is accused of cheating

Setup: The professor tests her reactions under pressure; Priya’s motives for the murder of her classmate later…

9. INTRIGUE 9: HIDDEN AGENDA / SECRET IDENTITY

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – EVENING

Priya sees a complex puzzle left by someone in her book. It has symbols similar to ones from her recurring dream. Priya tries to solve the puzzle with a distinctive pattern in her cryptanalysis work. She doesn’t know who left it for her or even if there is a right answer. Priya shows her work to her father who tears up.

Open Loop: who left the puzzle in her book?

Mystery: how are the symbols from her dream connected to the puzzle?

Empathy/Distress: Priya didn’t have a normal childhood.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Priya’s father recognizes her distinct pattern in her cryptanalysis

10. INTRIGUE 10: HIDDEN LAYER / CONSPIRACY

INT. DINER – EVENING

Priya takes her father out to the diner to get some fresh air and clear her mind. Her father’s memory is fuzzy, and he cannot answer Priya’s questions about her childhood. Her professor bumps into them and questions her father about the Hawala network. Her father gets agitated and Priya tells her professor off.

Open Loop: why is Priya’s father agitated?

Mystery: Why does Priya’s professor question her dad about the Hawala?

Empathy/Distress: Priya wants answers that her father can’t give

Payoff: Her two worlds collide.

Irony: she wants to clear her mind while her father’s memory is a clean slate

Setup: what is priya’s father’s link in Hawala… this drives her to discover her secret identity through the series.

11. INTRIGUE 11: IMMINENT THREAT / MYSTERY

EXT. CLUB – NIGHT

Priya’s classmate leaves the club carrying her class project in her backpack. She is drunk and finds herself on a deserted lane. Someone is following her. She speeds up her pace but the boots catch up with her as she hits a dead-end.

Open Loop: who is following her?

Mystery: What is in her backpack?

Empathy/Distress: a drunk girl being followed in a deserted lane at night

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: what happens to this girl who accused Priya of cheating? She turns up dead and Priya is a suspect.

12. INTRIGUE 12: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / SUSPICION / DECEPTION

INT. UNIVERSITY HALLWAY – DAY

Lina bumps into Priya in the hallway and flashes a badge. There’s a fleeting look of recognition or guilt that she quickly masks pretending to be a RAW agent. She questions Priya about the murder of her classmate and her missing class project file. Lina reacts with a subtle but noticeable discomfort when Priya talks about her father, hinting at a shared history. She leaves her contact if she needs a friend. Priya walks away in tears as she is now being accused of murder.

Open Loop: who is Lina and why is she disguised as a RAW agent?

Mystery: Why would one of Priya’s classmates be murdered for a class project?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is being setup for murder

Payoff: Priya has a motive and is a suspect in the murder of her classmate

Irony:

Setup: Lina and Priya’s complicated relationship

13. INTRIGUE 13: IMMINENT THREAT / CONSPIRACY

INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Priya is in class still shaken from her interaction in the hallway. Real RAW agents shuffle into the back row during the lecture. Professor abruptly ends his lecture. Priya’s professor is suddenly detained by intelligence agents in the middle of a lecture. Priya is handed a classified dossier by a RAW agent.

Open Loop: who is the Professor

Mystery: Why are RAW agents detaining her professor

Empathy/Distress: What has Priya got mixed up in

Payoff:

Irony: A professor who has accused her of lying is not being detained for the same

Setup: For Priya this is where she will end up if she crossed the RAW agents

14. INTRIGUE 14: IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN AGENDA / SECRET IDENTITY

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Priya is seated across from the RAW agent going through the dossier. It reveals that the unsanctioned ops is a personal agenda of her professor. They question her about the professor and his covert operation and threaten to dig up her father’s past. The agent holds her down in the chair and gives her a choice – walk away or become an accomplice and face the wrath of the RAW agency. Priya takes the classified dossier and leaves.

Open Loop: what is the unsanctioned op?

Mystery: Who is her professor really? What has her father done?

Empathy/Distress: Priya’s dilemma – either choice she loses.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: For Priya to reveal her secret identity

15. INTRIGUE 15: HIDDEN LAYER / SECRET IDENTITY

INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT

Priya on her computer looks for clues. She digs into the classified dossier to find a much larger conspiracy. Her professor is playing a role that’s more than academic. Priya has to decide what to do. A symbol that she’s seen before on the class project stops her in her tracks.

Open Loop: what is the larger conspiracy?

Mystery: What do these symbols mean?

Empathy/Distress: Priya has been played by her professor

Payoff: the class project was a real op

Irony:

Setup: for Priya’s double life.

16. INTRIGUE 16: HIDDEN LAYER / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – NIGHT

Priya unlocks her secret locker that has her class project file. Priya deciphers an encrypted message that reveals a terror threat. She has an impossible choice to make that can sacrifice her father and her own safety. She checks on her father who is unaware of her secret life. Priya contacts Lina who she thinks can help her.

Open Loop: what is the terror threat?

Mystery: Who sent this encrypted message?

Empathy/Distress: Priya has to make a difficult choice.

Payoff: Priya’s decoding skills reveal a terror threat.

Irony: Lina is not her friend.

Setup: the secret locker. Leads to her dad’s secret vault. She joins the heist team as cipher.

17. ACT 1 TURNING POINT: INTRIGUE 17: DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN LAYER

EXT. SURVEILLANCE VAN – DAY

Priya reaches the university lawns when a surveillance van approaches her. Two masked men jump out, throw a bag over her head and drag her into the van. Priya tries to resist using martial arts but she is overpowered, bound and gagged. Priya is thrown into the back and the van drives away. She lets out a muffled scream as she looks out through the burlap sack. Priya starts counting and can visualize the space as they drive through from the sounds. She is now part of the covert team as a cipher.

Open Loop: who kidnapped Priya?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Will Priya be harmed?

Payoff: Priya surprises her captures with her martial art skills. Lina who acts as friend is in the van.

Irony:

Setup: Priya’s visualizing skills helps has passed her test and is now part of the covert team as a cipher.

Act 2:

18. INTRIGUE 18: INTRIGUING WORLD / INTRIGUING RELAATIONSHIPS / HIDDEN LAYERS

INT. SECRET DEN – DAY

Priya’s blindfolds are taken off and she’s now in a secret den of master thieves. Priya must earn the trust of the team. She must navigate the complex chemistry of her companions – Arjun’s vendetta, Meera’s ghosts, Sofia’s missing pieces, Mandeep’s shadows, and Lina’s penance. Priya punches Mandeep for her chaffed hands. Lina breaks up the fight and drags her away.

Open Loop: what secrets are the members of the heist team each holding?

Mystery: What are they trying to steal?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is forced to work with these master thieves

Payoff: Class project was all a test to get Priya to trigger the unsanctioned op

Irony:

Setup: for complex relationship dynamics. Priya is not just a geek but can defend herself if needed.

19. INTRIGUE 19: SECRET IDENTITY / HIDDEN AGENDA /IMMINENT THREAT

INT. PLANNING ROOM – EVENING

The professor, Arjun codenamed “Raven, shows his true self and introduces everyone to Priya. Arjun reveals his meticulous plan to infiltrate the Hawala network. Priya interrupts him to reveal the message that points to an imminent terror attack. The heist team doesn’t believe her and sees no threat. Arjun backs Priya for now.

Open Loop: what is the Hawala network and why infiltrate it?

Mystery: what is the terror plot and who is behind it? Why is no one believing Priya?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is a rookie trying to play in the big leagues

Payoff: Arjun’s plan was to recruit Priya all along

Irony: Arjun backs Priya after he publicly humiliated her in class

Setup: Priya needs to earn their trust for them to believe her.

20. INTRIGUE 20: WOUND / STRANGE BEHAVIOR / SECRET

EXT. SECRET DEN – NIGHT

Arjun looks at the encrypted message and recalls his sister. Arjun’s flashback takes him to his failed attempt to stop a terror attack that killed his sister. Arjun suffers from PTSD but he masks it with his stoic demeanour. He is seen on the phone in rage with fists flying and the team is worried about his erratic behavior.

Open Loop: What is causing Arjun’s PTSD?

Mystery: What happened to Arjun’s sister?

Empathy/Distress: For Arjun who tries to mask his shortcomings as a leader of the team

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: for Arjun’s PTSD to resurface during a crucial moment to stop the terror attack

21. INTRIGUE 21:

INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Meera (AKA Ghost) navigates the digital world with unequalled skill. Her computer pings with the message, and she quickly closes it before anyone can see it. She receives a cryptic message that visibly disturbs her, but she dismisses it when questioned by Priya. She is haunted by a past she seeks to obliterate. Meera closes the chat window on her secret online romance.

Open Loop: Who is Meera secretly communicating with? Is it just an innocent lover?

Mystery: Why does Meera dismiss the cryptic message when questioned by Priya?

Empathy/Distress: Meera is being haunted by her past

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: for Meera’s past to be revealed by her secret lover in a hack

22. INTRIGUE 22: CONSPIRACY / HIDDEN AGENDA

INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT

Sofia (AKA Chameleon) is drinking with music blaring as she tries on various disguises. Sofia sees her sister’s shadow every time she looks in the mirror. She wants to find her missing sister. She pulls out a burner phone, types a coded message and hides it in her makeup bag. Sofia throws her drink at the mirror and cracks it.

Open Loop: Who is Sofia really? What happened to her sister?

Mystery: Who is Sofia secretly texting?

Empathy/Distress: She has been under so many disguises that she doesn’t know whom she is anymore

Payoff:

Irony: An actress who hates looking at herself in the mirror

Setup: For when we find out about her search for missing sister

23. INTRIGUE 23: SECRET / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

INT. MANDEEP’S ROOM – NIGHT

Mandeep opens his laptop and starts to change his soiled clothes. His laptop shows surveillance cameras installed in all the private rooms. Mandeep is secretly watching the team. Mandeep zooms in on Sofia’s room and sees her undress. He continues to watch when she disappears. He hears a knock on his door and quickly hides his surveillance equipment to open the door. Sofia wades in with a drink.

Open Loop: Why is Mandeep watching his own teammates secretly?

Mystery: Will Mandeep ever get to know the real Sofia? What is Mandeep’s real mission?

Empathy/Distress: Mandeep is a consolation prize for Sofia and will probably get his heartbroken.

Payoff:

Irony: Sofia and Mandeep are Beauty and the Beast!

Setup: For When we find out Mandeep ‘s real mission is to find a mole in RAW.

24. INTRIGUE 24: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY

Priya looks through the “Oracle, ”Lina’s financial flow charts in awe. Lina watches her from the door and smiles. She approaches her with a familiarity almost as if she’s known her from before. Priya is caught off guard. Lina feels guilty for her past actions. She tells Priya this is her atonement for her past misdeeds.

Open Loop: what is Lina and Priya’s real connection?

Mystery: Why is Lina protective of Priya? What is she hiding about her past.

Empathy/Distress: Lina is an old soul who has much to atone for before her time runs out.

Payoff:

Irony: They complete each other. Lina is like the mother she has never known

Setup: for Priya who later recalls Lina as one of her father’s friends who visited her in her childhood.

25. INTRIGUE 25: CONSPIRACY / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. BATHROOM – DAY

Priya is in a bathroom stall when she hears voices. She pulls herself onto the seat when Meera checks to see if the stalls are empty. Priya closes her eyes and visualises as she overhears a cryptic conversation between two team members (Meera & Sofia). The toilet roll drops and they stop talking to investigate. Meera kicks open the stall door and finds it empty. They leave in a hurry. Priya drops onto the floor her arms hurting from balancing in the air spread eagle against the walls.

Open Loop: What are Meera and Sofia hiding from the rest of the team, especially Priya?

Mystery: Will Priya get caught? Is there a mole in the team?

Empathy/Distress: Priya overhears a conversation she shouldn’t have and could be in danger if she’s caught.

Payoff: Priya’s martial arts gets her out of a tricky situation.

Irony:

Setup: red herring for the mole in the team. Priya’s capabilities of visualizing.

26. INTRIGUE 26: INTRIGUING WORLD / STRANGE BEHAVIOR / MYSTERY

INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Raghav (AKA The Hyena), the charismatic leader of the Hawala Network has a peculiar ritual or superstition he follows religiously, believing it’s the source of his success. The ledger he keeps goes against the rules of doing Hawala business and becomes the Achilles’ heel exploited by the heist team. Raghav secures the ledger in a high-security vault that he boasts is impenetrable.

Open Loop: What is in the ledger?

Mystery: Who is Raghav and why is he breaking the rules to keep a ledger?

Empathy/Distress: Raghav’s superstitions are secretly mocked behind his back

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Raghav’s superstition becomes his Achilles heels. His impregnable vault is broken into by the heist team.

27. INTRIGUE 27: DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT/INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY

The heist team takes position to breach the Hawala headquarters. Meera discovers real-time surveillance feeds that were previously undetected, indicating they have walked into a trap. Armed men detect the team and exchange gunfire. The heist team retaliates and aborts their mission to fall back when some of them sustain injuries. Arjun grabs a Hawala operative as they make their escape.

Open Loop: Was their plan to break in already leaked? By whom?

Mystery: Will the team get out alive?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: there is a mole and it can be anyone – Meera, Sofia, Lina, Mandeep or even Arjun.

Irony: The hunter becomes the hunted

Setup: The Hawala operative who is captured gives them a way in.

28. INTRIGUE 28: HIDDEN AGENDA / SUSPICION / STRANGE BEHAVIOUR

INT. SECRET DEN – DAY

Arjun is in a heated argument with a superior at RAW who warns Arjun to stand down or be hunted down by RAW agents. Arjun is driven by his vendetta to stop going after the Hawala network. Arjun enters the basement to torture the Hawala operative. Mandeep suggests they let the Hawala operative go but Arjun lashes out at him

Open Loop: Why is Arjun holding a hostage?

Mystery: Who is Arjun arguing with and why?

Empathy/Distress: Mandeep’s suggestion causes Arjun to lash out at him

Payoff: RAW agents who stormed into his office to detain him were sent by his former superiors to warn him off the op

Irony:

Setup: What is the RAW’s role in the Hawala?

29. INTRIGUE 29: HIDDEN LAYER / CONSPIRACY

INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – EVENING

Raghav examines a complex financial chart indicating a drastic plan. He hides the plan when Harsh approaches him to report on the missing operative. Raghav casually mentions a “game-changing move” during a phone call, with a ledger in the background. Initiating the sale of a secret ledger will have global implications. Raghav hides the ledger in the vault. It is a fake because the real one is in the briefcase when he gets into his rooftop chopper.

Open Loop: What is the ledger sale?

Mystery: Who is Raghav talking to?

Empathy/Distress: Raghav doesn’t trust Harsh his most loyal lieutenant.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The ledger is a fake.

30. INTRIGUE 30: HIDDEN AGENDA / DECEPTION

INT. CASH ROOM/HAWALA EXCHANGE – EVENING

Harsh is counting out cash and dumping them into a duffel bag. One of the Hawala operatives is bleeding out in the corner. Harsh is looting cash from his own cash room. He loads the bag into a truck which has a terrorist flag on it. He orchestrates a shoot-out to make it look like a burglary and shoots the dying operative in his head.

Open Loop: Why is Harsh secretly funding terrorists?

Mystery: Why does Harsh orchestrate a shoot-out on his own operatives?

Empathy/Distress: For the operatives who are killed by their own boss

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: For the terror plot.

31. INTRIGUE 31: SUSPICION / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT

Sofia walks into the Hawala Exchange and notices that something is amiss when no one stops her. She talks into her embedded earpiece, but Arjun hears only static in the sewers. He sees a light ahead and races to catch up. Harsh comes up behind Arjun and puts a gun to his head. Sofia sees the dead operative and freaks out. Arjun and Harsh get into a fistfight. Arjun’s secret vendetta comes to light. Sofia is held at gunpoint. Arjun surrenders when Harsh’s men confirm it on the walkie. Police sirens save them from Harsh and his men but now they are trapped. Arjun and Sofia narrowly escape through an opening in the sewers.

Open Loop: Will Sofia lead the team to their death?

Mystery: Will Arjun get his revenge on Harsh?

Empathy/Distress: Arjun loses signal in the sewers unaware of who he may confront in there. Sofia held at gunpoint. The team is trapped with the police closing in.

Payoff: Why did Harsh let Sofia go? Sofia’s secret texts could be what tipped off Harsh.

Irony:

Setup: Is Sofia the mole they are looking for?

32. INTRIGUE 32:

INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Priya watches the body cam footage from Sofia and notices a message in the cash room which she decodes. However, it points to a hidden ledger implicating her father, casting doubts on her loyalty. Priya smashes the TV screen and runs off. Priya rides her motorbike dangerously back into the city.

Open Loop: How is Priya’s father connected to the hidden ledger?

Mystery: What is the secret message? How does Priya know to look for it?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is under suspicion when her father is implicated in the hidden ledger.

Payoff:

Irony: Priya cracks a code that implicated her father.

Setup:

33. MID POINT: INTRIGUE 33: HIDDEN LAYER / DILEMMA

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – NIGHT

Priya does her martial arts routine as she sees her father’s name flash on the message. She is torn between proving her father’s innocence and stopping a terror attack. She will have to sacrifice her father’s safety. Priya writes a note for her father and leaves without saying her goodbyes. Priya back on her motorbike, her father reads the note and weeps.

Open Loop: Will Priya sacrifice her father to save innocent lives?

Mystery: What does her note say?

Empathy/Distress: Priya has an impossible choice between two equally bad choices.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: for Priya to prove her father’s innocence.

Act 3:

34. INTRIGUE 34: SUSPICION / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. SECRET DEN – DAY

Arjun redraws plans to find the hidden ledger. Priya is missing and she is the suspected mole in the team. The team needs to find the hidden ledger and Priya’s father is their best bet. Arjun proposes taking him hostage but Lina protests. He questions their captive Hawala operative on the ledger.

Open Loop: Will the team turn on Priya? Will Priya’s father be safe?

Mystery: Why does Lina stop Arjun for taking Priya’s father hostage to question him?

Empathy/Distress: For Priya who is now suspected as the mole.

Payoff: Torturing the captive operative is the only option left.

Irony:

Setup: For the heist to find the ledger, for Priya to win the trust of the team. Lina’s protests makes the team question her hidden agenda.

35. INTRIGUE 35: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / SUSPICION / HIDDEN AGENDA

INT. ABANDONED MANSION – DAY

Priya goes through her father’s library for clues. Cut-off from her the team, she starts her own investigation to prove her father’s innocence. She clears out the basement to create her own suspect board and pins up pictures, symbols, messages to start her investigation.

Open Loop: Will Priya’s investigation prove her father’s innocence?

Mystery: Will Priya be trusted by the team again?

Empathy/Distress: For Priya who is cut-off and on her own trying to rpove her father’s innocence.

Payoff: The symbols from her vivid dreams are momories

Irony:

Setup:

36. INTRIGUE 36: HIDDEN LAYER / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. BEDROOM/ABANDONED MANSION – NIGHT

Priya sees glimpses into the ledger’s contents. She decrypts messages that point to a financial crash. She grapples with the devastating consequences if it falls into the wrong hands. Priya packs her backpack with the decrypted messages and rides out in the dead of night blindfolded.

Open Loop: What do the cryptic flashes of the leger content mean?

Mystery: Will priya be able to avert the financial crash?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is trying to single-handedly fight a major conspiracy.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Priya to discover her secret identity.

37. INTRIGUE 37: STRANGE BEHAVIOR / SUSPICION / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT/INT. SECRET DEN – NIGHT

Priya on the bike counts a turn and ends up on a dirt road. Arjun in the control room, watches surveillance cameras that show him the main road and the captive operative in the dungeon. Steps away from the cameras. Priya takes off her blindfold as she sneaks closer to the den. Arjun steps outside for a smoke and hears rustling. He goes to take a closer look. Priya sneaks inside and gets into the control room. Sees Arjun on the monitor. She rummages through the files and notices the captive on screen. Arjun closes the screen door as he gets back in. Priya blocks out the dungeon camera and shows a symbol to the captive. Arjun comes out of the washroom and looks at the cameras. He sees everything is clear. Priya uses the blind spots to get away.

Open Loop: Why is Priya risking getting caught by the team who doesn’t trust her?

Mystery: How does Priya find a safe house she never saw? What will they do to Priya if she gets caught?

Empathy/Distress: Will Priya have an accident riding with her blindfold and die?

Payoff: Priya was also trained to use her hearing to visualize routes

Irony: The safe house is not safe if Priya can find it blindfolded.

Setup: The symbol is the key for Priya to break into the Hawala headquarters.

38. INTRIGUE 38: SUSPICION / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY

Arjun is looking for a dossier and makes a mess. He is agitated that there is a leak. Mandeep rewinds the surveillance and sees Priya enter the dungeon. Arjun approaches the suspect board and pierces a knife through Priya’s photo on the board. He bursts into the dungeon to question the captive who screams for help.

Open Loop:

Mystery: Will Priya get caught by Arjun and his team?

Empathy/Distress: What will they do to Priya once they catch her? Will they torture her like the captive operative?

Payoff: Mandeep’s surveillance skills; suspect to be tortured

Irony: Priya a rookie steals from a highly trained and seasoned group of thieves.

Setup: Priya becomes the prime suspect as the mole. Will her fate be the same as the captive?

39. INTRIGUE 39: DECEPTION / STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / SECRET IDENTITY

INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Meera has digital traces running on her computer. A security breach alert pops on her screen and she tries to override it but it backfires. Meera’s photo from her past association dances on her screen as a screensaver. She frantically starts to unplug her system. She has been hacked and now it’s a looming threat to the team. Meera dumps her hard disks and fries them in the microwave.

Open Loop: Will Meera’s past be discovered by her teammates?

Mystery: Who is hacking into their system? What is Meera hiding?

Empathy/Distress: Meera’s past catches up to her.

Payoff: Meera’s secret online romance is ruse to take her down

Irony: The hacker gets hacked

Setup: Red herring – Meera is the mole.

40. INTRIGUE 40: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT / SECRET

INT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT

Sofia in disguise gets drunk, pushes Mandeep away and turns off her comms. He gets out before his cover is blown. Sofia stumbles into the basement and seduces a guard to get past the door knocking him unconscious. She turns on the lights to see a man dead on the floor. She turns away to go back out before she notices a picture of her sister on the floor where the blood has run off.

Open Loop: Will Mandeep discover Sofia’s secret?

Mystery: What is Sofia’s picture (it’s her twin sister) doing next to a dead man?

Empathy/Distress: Sofia is trapped with a dead body in the room

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Sofia’s secret agenda to find her sister. Red herring – is she the mole?

41. INTRIGUE 41: SUSPICION / DECEPTION / HIDDEN AGENDA

EXT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT

Mandeep pulls out a photo from his pocket that he stole from the club. The photo shows a young Sofia with Arjun and Harsh. He grapples with suspicion and loyalty as he takes a call. The person on the other line reminds him of his mission and asks if he found the mole yet. He folds the photo and puts it away before he answers.

Open Loop: What is the connection between Arjun, Sofia and Harsh?

Mystery: Will Mandeep recover from his broken heart?

Empathy/Distress: Mandeep gets his heart broken. Mandeep’s dilemma.

Payoff: Mandeep brushes past the photo wall at the club. Mandeep’s real mission

Irony: Mandeep is tasked to find the mole while all along he is the mole for his RAW superiors.

Setup: Who is Mandeep working for? Is he being used to spy on the team?

42. INTRIGUE 42: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / SUSPICION / WOUND

INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY

Mandeep and Arjun have a private conversation. He shows signs of genuine respect and camaraderie, which conflicts with his earlier suspicion. Mandeep questions his suspicion of Arjun being the mole. Arjun tears up as he relates his story about his sister. He consoles Arjun.

Open Loop: Will Mandeep put loyalty to his mentor over his mission?

Mystery: Will Mandeep confront Arjun?

Empathy/Distress: Arjun’s loss of his sister. Mandeep’s dilemma

Payoff: Mentor and student relationship.

Irony:

Setup: Red herring – Arjun is the mole?

43. INTRIGUE 43: DECEPTION / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. MOBILE REPAIR SHOP – DAY

Lina waits to walk into a mobile repair shop and asks for a top-up. The owner nods and leads her through a false door into the back. She pulls out bungles of cash and sets them on the table. The old Hawala operative behind the counter recognizes her. The owner walks out to close the shutters. The operative takes the money, pulls out two shot glasses and smiles as he pours a drink. Lina dips her finger to taste it and then smiles to toast like old friends.

Open Loop: Why is Lina so familiar to the owner?

Mystery: What is this place a front for? Who is Lina?

Empathy/Distress: Lina walks into a tense situation

Payoff: Lina always knows intricate details about the Hawala operations. These are some of her anonymous sources.

Irony: mobile shop is a front for hawala operations

Setup: Lina has friends across the aisle. She knows more than she lets on.

44. INTRIGUE 44: CONSPIRACY / STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / HIDDEN AGENDA / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY

Raghav is on a video call with heads of state and dictators. He finishes going through his entire portfolio before the stock market opens every day and resets his vault to the market opening digits. He keeps everyone on hold as they are frustrated with the delay. Raghav tells them to get on with his plan or he will crash the market and release their secrets. Raghav demonstrates the ticking clock that coincides with the stock market clock and how they will change their fortunes by the end of the day in 48 hours.

Open Loop: Will Raghav’s blackmail to dictators work or backfire on him?

Mystery: What is Raghav’s plan?

Empathy/Distress: For heads of state who are forced to put up with Raghav’s eccentric behavior.

Payoff: For the susperstition of changing his vault passcodes.

Irony:

Setup: Raghav’s strange ritual will be his downfall

45. INTRIGUE 45: DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN AGENDA

INT. SERVER ROOM/HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – EVENING

Priya disguised as a technician shows her badge at the gate. Priya evades the guards and slips into the basement with an access card she swiped from a guard to access the server room. She unlocks the server room and searches for the video cables. She hacks into the video feed to Raghav’s control room. She sees the video on her phone and records it before she hears someone at the door. She sneaks back out and dumps her card and clothes as she races off on her bike.

Open Loop: Will Priya get caught trying to sneak into the Hawala HQ?

Mystery: What is on the video feeds that Priya records?

Empathy/Distress: Priya risks her life by entering an armed fortress under false identity.

Payoff:

Irony: Priya accused of stealing can actually be quite good at it

Setup: Priya to win back trust of her teammates and join back.

46. ACT 3 TURNING POINT: INTRIGUE 46:

INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Priya drives to the safe house and is caught on the surveillance cameras. Mandeep grabs his sidearm, but Arjun stops him. She walks back into the den with all the team members waiting for her. Everyone thinks she is the mole and wants to grab her. Priya with her raised hands pulls out her phone and plugs it into the big screen to play Raghav’s video feed. She tells them there is a ledger that is going to be auctioned for sale in 48 hours that potentially has a list of sleeper agents, and the terror attack is a coverup. She believes her father was being framed to take the fall.

Open Loop: Where is the ledger sale? What is on the ledger?

Mystery: Does Priya have a death wish?

Empathy/Distress: Priya who walks back into a den of thieves who don’t trust her

Payoff: Terror attack is a coverup for the sale.

Irony:

Setup: What will the team do to stop both?

Act 4:

47. INTRIGUE 47: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP/ IMMINENT THREAT

INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY

Lina confirms the sale and backs Priya up. They work together to pinpoint the terror plot. Arjun and the rest of the team need to find the ledger and stop its sale. The team splits into two – Lina and Priya work on the terror plot while Meera, Arjun, Sofia and Mandeep go into the field to locate the ledger. Priya wants to prove her father’s innocence and keeps digging into the ledger’s origins.

Open Loop: Will the team succeed in stopping both the terror attack and the ledger sale? Why is Lina so protective of Priya? What is their connection?

Mystery: Where is the terror attack and how can the heist team stop it?

Empathy/Distress: The team has two equally impossible choices – recover the ledger or stop a terror attack

Payoff: Lina’s trip to the mobile store to catch up with old friends

Irony:

Setup: Priya discovers her own origin story.

48. INTRIGUE 48: INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. PRIYA’S HOME – DAY

Priya digs into the father’s files. She discovers a past alias of her father that connects him to the Hawala network. Priya questions her father about his connections, but he draws a blank. She calls Lina who dismisses ever hearing that name. RAW agents enter their home catching her off guard. Priya is knocked unconscious and tied up.

Open Loop: Why does Priya’s father have an alias with the Hawala network?

Mystery: Is Priya’s father hiding from her or does he really have dementia?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is helpless and unable to save her father from the agents. Old man with dementia.

Payoff: RAW agent follows through on his threat

Irony:

Setup: Lina dismissed Priya’s father’s alias as unrelated to the Hawala. Who tipped off the RAW agents Who is the real mole?

49. INTRIGUE 49: IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – EVENING

Priya is tied to a chair when she comes to. She is interrogated by the RAW agent. He forces her to reveal her secret agenda and threatens her father’s safety. Another agent shows her a video of her father in captivity. Priya crumbles and shares her discovery of her father’s connection.

Open Loop: What is Priya’s true identity and how is she related to the ledger?

Mystery: What do the RAW agents want from Priya? How is her father connected to the Hawala?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is tortured and threatened for her father’s safety

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Will Priya now do their bidding and become the mole?

50. INTRIGUE 50: IMMINENT THREAT / DECEPTION / DILEMMA

EXT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Arjun waits in his unmarked van when a car pulls up. RAW agents get out and hold him at gunpoint to step out. He is shown Priya and her father in captivity and threatened to drop his unsanctioned op or lose one of his teammates. Arjun fights the RAW agents and extractions the location of Priya’s captivity. He takes a hostage and rides out.

Open Loop: Will RAW agents target Arjun’s heist team to shut them down?

Mystery: Will Arjun fight for Priya or put the mission over his team?

Empathy/Distress: Arjun is outnumbered and unarmed.

Payoff: Arjun and RAW superiors argument on dropping the op

Irony:

Setup: Arjun’s rescue attempt of Priya and her father.

51. INTRIGUE 51: INTRIGUING WORLD / IMMINENT THREAT / DILEMMA

EXT/INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Meera from an unmarked van talks to Sofia and Mandeep through the surveillance at the Hawala Headquarters. Her workstation lights up with a flood of incriminating evidence planted against her. She uses her hacking skills in real-time to unmask an old associate from her dark past who has infiltrated their system. Meera is cornered and with a gun to her head, has to choose between saving her own life or risking everything to help the team. Meera outsmarts the old rival and hacks into their network instead; pinpointing the location of the ledger that she shares with Sofia. She takes a bullet before she kills the gunman.

Open Loop: Will Meera compromise the mission to save herself?

Mystery: Will Meera beat the hacker this time?

Empathy/Distress: Meera takes a bullet and bleeds out.

Payoff: For the hack she panicked earlier but now she can outsmart her rival

Irony:

Setup: Red herring – Meera could be the mole all along.

52. INTRIGUE 52: SUSPICION / DILEMMA

INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Mandeep’s flawless execution of tasks is compromised when his emotions for Sofia cloud his judgment, especially as he stumbles upon clues that suggest she might be involved with the Hawala network.

Open Loop: Will Mandeep protect Sofia or reveal her secret?

Mystery: Will Sofia manipulate Mandeep again?

Empathy/Distress: Mandeep who is hopelessly in love with Sofia

Payoff: Sofia teases Mandeep after breaking his heart.

Irony: Love over loyalty

Setup: Red Herring – Will Mandeep become an accomplice to Sofia’s conspiracy

53. INTRIGUE 53: DECEPTION / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. LOWER LEVEL/HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

One of the Hawala operatives recognizes Sofia. She is startled and plays along to accompany the operative until she slips away in time as her sister emerges. She hears her sister’s voice and hides. She ducks into a bathroom and throws up. Sofia looks at the mirror and sees her ghastly face (twin sister’s face) staring back at her.

Open Loop: Why are Hawala operatives taking orders from Sofia?

Mystery: Who is Sofia? Does she have a doppelganger?

Empathy/Distress: Sofia is disgusted with herself. Has she done something she will regret?

Payoff: Her intro in the mirror that shows her many disguises to now her real unvarnished self and she can’t stomach what she sees.

Irony: She is worried for her sister while we are worried for her.

Setup: Red herring – Sofia is the mole. Also, for us to find out about Sofia’s twin sister who is not missing but working inside the Hawala network with Raghav.

54. INTRIGUE 54: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / HIDDEN AGENDA / SUSPICION

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)

Sofia stares at a photo of her younger self (the photo is of her twin sister). RAW agent (younger Mandeep) asks her about her childhood. She hesitates before answering. Sofia’s memory flashes to her sister playing, her sister playing with her dress-up dolls then taking a hand and walking away with a twinkle in her eyes. Sofia nods as the RAW agent assures her, she is home now.

Open Loop: What happened to Sofia in her childhood?

Mystery: Who is the adult who she walked off with?

Empathy/Distress: Sofia had a traumatic childhood.

Payoff: Now we know how she joined the heist team

Irony: Mandeep thinks Sofia needs rescuing while she joins to rescue her twin sister

Setup: Sofia’s hidden agenda. Sofia is the mole.

55. INTRIGUE 55: SUSPICION / SECRET IDENTITY / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT/INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Mandeep can’t get Sofia’s out of his head when his earpiece crackles. He mistakes seeing her sister for Sofia in a room giving instructions to hawala operatives while crawling through the air vents to get to the vault room. Meera is bleeding, but she communicates the passcode before passing out. Mandeep enters the passcode and unlocks the vault to find a ledger. Secret alarms go off and armed men rush to the vault. Mandeep grabs the ledger and shoots his way out while Sofia heads out to help Meera. Mandeep jumps into the unmarked van as they take fire and speed off.

Open Loop: Is Sofia the mole?

Mystery: Will Meera survive? Will Mandeep get the ledger?

Empathy/Distress: Meera who ha passed out from blood loss and Mandeeep who has set off a secret alarm that alerted armed guards to the vault.

Payoff: Sofia’s secret is finally revealed, or is it?

Irony:

Setup: Red herring – Sofia is the mole.

56. INTRIGUE 56: STRANGE BEHAVIOR / DECEPTION / HIDDEN AGENDA

EXT. FINANCIAL DISTRICT – DAY

Lina enters the financial district. A shadowy figure follows her as she tries to lose her tail. Lina slips in and out of shops and ends up in an alley. Lina is thrust against the wall from behind and is slipped a note. Lina recovers to find her surroundings empty and puts her hands into her pocket to pull out the note that gives her a location and time.

Open Loop: Who is following Lina?

Mystery: What’s in the note?

Empathy/Distress: Lina who is being followed and is trapped at a dead-end

Payoff:

Irony: Lina’s clairvoyance is just a good old-fashioned underground network of informants who work for her.

Setup: for the terror attack in the financial district

57. INTRIGUE 57: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / HIDDEN AGENDA / DECEPTION

EXT/INT. SECRET DEN – NIGHT

Lina goes over her files and hesitates over a specific name – Priya’s father’s alias. An old photograph falls out of depicting Lina with Priya’s father. Lina wants no one to see this, especially Priya. Lina takes out the contents of the file and replaces it with bogus papers and changes the name. Lina burns the file and watches the photo get eaten by the flames.

Open Loop: Who is Lina and what is her connection to Priya’s father?

Mystery: Will Priya ever find out the truth about her father?

Empathy/Distress: Priya and the team are being deceived by Lina.

Payoff: Priya finds her father’s alias, but Lina dismisses ever hearing that name.

Irony:

Setup: Red herring – Lina is the mole?

58. INTRIGUE 58: DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT / WOUND

INT. RAW SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT

Arjun unties Priya’s hands and rescues her. He tells her the house is rigged to blow and Priya wants to know if her father is okay. Arjun tells her she was chosen for the mission due to her father. Priya slaps Arjun for playing games with her. Arjun drags her to safety before the safehouse explodes in a fire.

Open Loop: Who blew up the RAW safehouse? Will Priya ever forgive herself for her father’s death?

Mystery: Did the Hawala want to kill Priya and her father?

Empathy/Distress: Priya for losing her father in the explosion.

Payoff: Arjun risks his life to rescue Priya.

Irony: Lina burns the photo as Priya and her father literally go up in flames.

Setup: Priya cannot turn back now and has only one agenda to find out the truth about her father and make whoever planted the bombs pay for his death.

59. INTRIGUE 59: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / WOUND / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. PRIVATE ROOM / NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT

Harsh pushes away a whiskey bottle and shatters it. He takes out a worn-out picture of a young girl (Arjun’s sister) from his wallet and traces a pendant. He pulls out his necklace to hold the same pendant in his palms and kisses it gently. Harsh is remorseful but he needs to toughen up to do his job. He wipes away his tears before putting photo away and picks up his sidearm.

Open Loop: What will Harsh do to reprent for his guilt?

Mystery: Why does Harsh have Arjun’s sister’s photo in his pocket?

Empathy/Distress: Harsh regrets blowing up a child

Payoff:

Irony: Arjun wants vendetta while Harsh can’t wait for redemption.

Setup: the pendant is Arjun’s sister whom Harsh couldn’t save in a terror attack he orchestrated.

60. ACT 4 TURNING POINT: INTRIGUE 60: WOUND / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT. RAW SAFEHOUSE – DAY

Priya is hiding in the bushes with Arjun watching the emergency firefighters go through the rubble. A charred body comes out in a gurney. Priya wants to rush out, but Arjun muffles her scream and holds her down. She wants to see her father’s body, but she cannot be seen by the agents. She wipes away her tears and runs off with Arjun chasing after her.

Open Loop: Will Sofia forgive herself for losing her father?

Mystery: Who killed Priya’s father? Who was the intended target of the blast?

Empathy/Distress: Priya lost her only known family – her father.

Payoff:

Irony: Arjun couldn’t save his sister and now Priya couldn’t save her father.

Setup: Priya will have to rely on what her father taught her to clear his name and bring his killers to justice.

Act 5:

61. INTRIGUE 61: DECEPTION / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

INT. SECRET DEN – EVENING

Arjun debriefs the team. The ledger Mandeep secured is a fake. Meera with a sling, Priya is wounded from losing her father, and Mandeep is mistrustful of Sofia. Lina lays out the plan for the terror attack on the Bombay Stock Exchange and a secret high-security vault room that holds the ghost ledger. Arjun reminds them of the ticking clock when the stock market bell rings.

Open Loop: Does the real ledger even exist? What does the ledger contain?

Mystery: Is Lina leading them into a trap? Will the team be trust each other to stop the terror attack and recover the ghost ledger?

Empathy/Distress: The team is wounded physically and suspicious of each other.

Payoff: Everyone is a suspect.

Irony:

Setup: for the heist while stopping another terror attack

62. INTRIGUE 62: INTRIGUING WORLD / DECEPTION / WOUND / IMMINENT THREAT

INT. BOMBAY STOCK EXCHANGE (BSE) BUILDING – DAY

The stock market bell rings and the clock ticks. Sofia in disguise enters with Amandeep to join the brokers, Arjun and Priya enter the sewers, and Lina and Meera monitor from the surveillance van parked down the street. Priya and Arjun have to get past the armed guards to the high-security vault; Mandeep and Sofia need to identify the terrorists and overpower them, Meera and Lina need to crack the multi-level passwords for the vault. Terrorists take hostages on the market floor but trading is not suspended as the indices show a downward trend; Sofia and Mandeep are taken hostage and they secure the hostages; Arjun meets a terrorist and triggers his PTSD. Priya is taken hostage and joins Sofia. Arjun recovers but now he has to fight the terrorists before securing the vault.

Open Loop: Will the heist team stop the terror attack and secure the ledger?

Mystery: Will Arjun overcome his PTSD to stop the terrorists? Will Meera and Lina crack the passcodes to the vault?

Empathy/Distress: Terrorist take innocent hostages. Arjun’s PTSD is triggered. Mandeep and Sofia are taken hostage. Priya is taken hostage.

Payoff: Arjun’s PTSD.

Irony: stock brokers will hold people hostage with the stock market swings are taken hostage.

Setup: The heist team has to work together to overpower the terrorists and secure the vault.

63. INTRIGUE 63: DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT / CONSPIRACY

INT. UPPER FLOOR / BSE BUILDING – DAY

Harsh forces the Chairman and other exchange officers to suspend online trading but keep the floor trading open. Armed men force the CEO to write down the vault passwords. Harsh shoots an officer as he tries to trigger an alarm. Illegal trading drives the stock market down. Harsh holds the key officers locked in the Chairman’s office with armed men guarding them.

Open Loop: Will the stock market crash? What is the Hawala’s end game?

Mystery: Why is trading not suspended?

Empathy/Distress: Excahneg officers and Chairman forces to give up passwords and illegally keep the markets open which will affect ordinary investors. An officer is shot for trying to do the right thing.

Payoff:

Irony: an honest stock market officer

Setup: for the final confrontation.

64. INTRIGUE 64: STRANGE BEHAVIOR / WOUND / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. HOSTAGE ROOM / BSE BUILDING – DAY

Harsh confronts a terrorist as he takes a girl away to a room. Harsh warns the terrorist that he wants no harm to come to the hostages. The terrorist points his weapon at Harsh and gets his brains blown out. Harsh walks away as hostages are terrified and shocked. He touches his pendant and slides his necklace back under his shirt as he walks out to see traders calling out stock prices at gunpoint.

Open Loop: Will the stock market ever recover from this?

Mystery: Why does Harsh shoot a terrorist he’s helping?

Empathy/Distress: Harsh still has a moral compass.

Payoff: Harsh’s pendant is a constant reminder of his wound.

Irony:

Setup: Harsh is not someone who just follows orders. He eventually takes over from Raghav.

65. INTRIGUE 65: IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN AGENDA / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

EXT/INT. BSE BUILDING – EVENING

Arjun makes his way into the building and locates the hostages. Armed terrorists guard the hostages. He fights the terrorists, and his team joins to overpower them. Priya slips away to locate the vault and Mandeep joins Arjun to take down the terrorists. Sofia bumps into Harsh in the corridor. She questions him about her sister, but he laughs and tells her she doesn’t know her sister at all.

Open Loop: What is Sofia’s relationship with Harsh? Will she ever find her sister?

Mystery: Will Priya find the vault? Will the heist team save the hostages?

Empathy/Distress: Heist team is up against ruthless terrorists and killers. Sofia ‘s missing sister.

Payoff: Harsh and Sofia together in a photo in the club.

Irony:

Setup: For Sofia to find out about her missing sister. Was she ever kidnapped?

66. INTRIGUE 66: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / IMMINENT THREAT / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

INT. SURVEILLANCE VAN – EVENING

Meera has the passwords but it’s incomplete. The rest of the codes are with the Chairman, but someone has to get them before the trading clock runs out. Lina has worked in the building and knows it well, so she jumps out of the van to find the Chairman. Lina will have to get past the guards and make the chairman divulge his codes but she’s too old for this. Lina enters the building through a secret service door.

Open Loop: Will Lina succeed in getting the rest of the passcode?

Mystery: How does Lina know the chairman of the securities exchange?

Empathy/Distress: Lina puts herself at unnecessary risk.

Payoff: Lina knows the financial district because she’s worked here before.

Irony: The oldest member Lina is their most crucial link to the mission’s success.

Setup: for securing the ledger.

67. INTRIGUE 67: STRANGE BEHAVIOR / DECEPTION / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – EVENING

Raghav is watching the hostage situation in a luxurious yet antiquated office. He has bidders for the ledger but still doesn’t have it in his possession. He bluffs the bidders with a fake ledger while he sees Harsh and his team unable to break into the vault. He wants to sell the ledger to the highest bidder even if they are dictators to secure his legacy. Raghav sees the stock market indices crash on the screen.

Open Loop: Why is Raghav risking his life by bluffing about selling a ledger he doesn’t possess?

Mystery: What is in the ledger that heads of state are willing to condone a terror attack on the financial district?

Empathy/Distress: Raghav is messing with dictators who can eliminate him if they call his bluff.

Payoff: for the fake ledger Raghav out in his secure vault.

Irony: The ghost ledger is a fake that doesn’t exist just like ghosts.

Setup: for Raghav to be replaced for his bluff.

68. INTRIGUE 68: IMMINENT THREAT / SECRET IDENTITY

INT. CHAIRMAN’S OFFICE – EVENING

Lina takes a terrorist mask for a dead terrorist on the floor. Armed guards bar the doors to the Chairman’s office. Lina breaks a fire extinguisher and opens the nozzle to spray it at an armed guard. The armed guard fires his weapon but Lina kicks him down and snatches the weapon, hearing the thud the door opens as more armed men come out cautiously. Lina tackles them with surprisingly agile martial arts moves and knocks them out. Lina enters the room and greets the Chairman taking off her mask. He recognizes her.

Open Loop: Who is Lina and how does she know the Chairman?

Mystery: Will Lina take down the terrorist and armed guards?

Empathy/Distress: Lina who is old unarmed and looks weak.

Payoff: Lina surprises us with her agility.

Irony: old women with smarts beats bulky strong men with weapons

Setup: Lina gets the code that open the vault.

69. INTRIGUE 69: IMMINENT THREAT / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. SECRET VAULT/BSE BUILDING – NIGHT

Priya is outside the vault when Harsh walks into the antechamber with Sofia. Priya is caught in the middle and needs to make a choice. She tries various passwords that don’t work, Harsh is almost at the vault, Lina gets on the comms to give her the password but her comms die. Harsh enters the vault but its locked and Priya is gone; Sofia walks in behind him and pushes him against the door and they get into a fistfight. She overpowers him and questions him about her sister while punching him repeatedly until he falls unconscious. The vault door opens when the room is quiet and filled with Sofia’s heavy breathing. Priya steps out with the ledger. Raghav watches her on his camera feed and smiles.

Open Loop: How did Priya know the code? What will Raghav do to her?

Mystery: Will Priya get caught? Will Sofia find her missing sister? Will Harsh kill them both?

Empathy/Distress: Priya who is boxed in and Sofia who is no match for Harsh.

Payoff: Raghav has orchestrated this heist.

Irony: The rookie gets the ledger without any help.

Setup:

70. INTRIGUE 70: SUSPICION / DECEPTION / IMMINENT THREAT

EXT. BACK ALLEYS / FESTIVE CELEBRATIONS (MUMBAI) – EVENING

Priya weaves through the back alleys of Mumbai on a motorcycle and through the jam-packed streets with festive revelers in the pouring rain as she tries to lose a motorcyclist (Sofia’s sister) tracking her.

Open Loop: Who is tracking Priya on the motorcycle?

Mystery: Will Priya get away from her pursuers?

Empathy/Distress: Priya negotiates the rain and the jammed streets filled with unruly festival revellers.

Payoff: for the opening teaser.

Irony:

Setup: for unmasking the unknown motorcyclist. Red herring – Sofia is the mole.

71. INTRIGUE 71: SUSPICION / SECRET IDENTITY / HIDDEN AGENDA

INT. SURVEILLANCE ROOM – NIGHT

Mandeep sees Priya get off her bike in the pouring rain. He spots a grainy image of a figure who watches her. Mandeep captures the image and zooms in on the face, he enhances the grainy image to see Sofia (mistaking Sofia’s sister for her). Mandeep suspects her to be the mole. Mandeep rewinds the tape a few times to confirm it’s Sofia. Arjun and Sofia walk in when Mandeep finishes erasing the tape.

Open Loop: Why does Mandeep erase the surveillance tape? Will Sofia ever get caught?

Mystery: Why was Sofia chasing Priya?

Empathy/Distress: Priya who doesn’t know she was being followed. Do they not trust her? Did arjun was to make sure she didn’t run away with the ledger?

Payoff: Mandeep destroys evidence to protect Sofia.

Irony:

Setup: Sofia is mistaken for her sister. Red herring – Sofia is the unmistakable mole and only Mandeep knows this in the team.

72. INTRIGUE 72: HIDDEN LAYER

EXT/INT. ABANDONED MANSION – NIGHT

Priya leaves the diner abruptly after discovering the cryptic message in a secret compartment in her backpack and rashly rides her motorbike to reach the mansion. She pulls out the message and uses the book to decode it. She stumbles upon a bizarre code in the ledger that doesn’t match traditional bookkeeping. Priya maps the code to a digital vault. She calls Arjun to tell him the pages are blank because the rest of the code is on digital crypto files.

Open Loop: What is the ghost ledger? How do you find it?

Mystery: Who wanted Priya to find the ghost ledger? Why was she given the cryptic message to decode.

Empathy/Distress: Priya needs to dig deeper to know what her father’s involvement was.

Payoff: for the teaser

Irony: Ghost Ledger never existed in physical form.

Setup: inciting incident for the rest of the season – each file is stored in a separate vault that require multiple heists before they can crack of the ghost ledger.

73. INTRIGUE 73: HIDDEN LAYER / SECRET IDENTITY

EXT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT

Raghav is looking at the digital ledger on the screen. The ledger has a list of sleeper RAW agents but it’s missing key information like detailed profiles and last known missions. lt is not just transactions but holds dangerous secrets that can decimate countries. Raghav checks the stock market and sets his new code to the closing indices. Sofia’s sister walks in and pours herself a drink before telling him it’s done. She walks out past Harsh, gently brushes his hands and smiles.

Open Loop: Who is this splitting image of Sofia? Is this her sister? What is doing working with Raghav? What does she mean by it’s done? Why is the digital ledger missing information?

Mystery: Why is Sofia’s sister working with Raghav? What do they want with Priya?

Empathy/Distress: Priya and the heist team that got played by Raghav. He has them exactly where he wants them. Looking for the missing pieces of the ledger.

Payoff: Sofia’s sister was never missing she is working closely with Raghav.

Irony: The heist team didn’t steal from Raghav’s Hawala network but stole for him without knowing it.

Setup: for Sofia’s sister to betray Raghav with Harsh.

74. INTRIGUE 74: WOUND / HIDDEN AGENDA / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. ABANDONED MANSION – NIGHT

Priya goes through her father’s things and packs them up. She grieves for her father. She wants to avenge him and find out who he really is. She finds a familiar symbol on the wall behind the bookshelf and runs her finds around the grove. She pushes the pendant in her necklace to match the grove in the wall and opens a secret vault. Priya enters.

Open Loop: Why does Priya’s father have a hidden vault? What is in the vault?

Mystery: Will Sofia get to clear her father’s name?

Empathy/Distress: Sofia grieves her father’s death

Payoff: for the symbol on her pendant

Irony:

Setup: for Priya to discover her secret identity

75. INTRIGUE 75: IMMINENT THREAT/ CONSPIRACY / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP

EXT. RAW SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT

RAW agents track a safe house on their surveillance monitors. The phone rings to tell the receiver that he’s just triggered a bomb. RAW agents watch as a safe house gets blown up. Two figures escape (Arjun and Priya) while the RAW agents scramble. Raghav calls someone to say that a file has been closed (taking Priya’s father’s alias).

Open Loop: Who called the RAW surveillance team? Who did Raghav call about closing files in Priya’s father’s alias?

Mystery: Who triggered the bomb that blew up the RAW safehouse? Who planted the bombs?

Empathy/Distress: Priya’s father was targeted by Raghav.

Payoff: How did the bomb go off? – triggered through a call to the surveillance team.

Irony: Safe house gets blown up by the surveillance team that triggers the bomb by picking up a phone call.

Setup: for Priya’s revenge.

76. INTRIGUE 76: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / SECRET IDENTITY / INTRIGUING RELATIONSHIP / WOUND / HIDDEN LAYER

EXT. HIDDEN VAULT – NIGHT

Priya recalls her mother abandoning her father after a heated fight. Priya’s past comes to her in flashes. Priya recognizes her father’s friend who looks like a young Lina. A woman she calls Mama helps her solve bizarre puzzles. She can’t recall her face. Priya goes through the vault to learn of a secret society that has been manipulating the financial markets for generations.

Open Loop: Who is the woman that young Priya is calling her mama? What is this secret society that is manipulating financial markets?

Mystery: Who is Lina?

Empathy/Distress: Priya unlocks her past and feels her whole life until now has been a lie. She unlocks the wound that she has blocked away for so long.

Payoff: Lina recognizes Priya when she first meets her.

Irony: Secret vault unlocks her traumatic childhood memories

Setup: For Priya to discover her secret identity.

77. CLIFFHANGER: INTRIGUE 77: STRANGE BEHAVIOUR / HIDDEN LAYER

INT. HAWALA CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT

Priya as she exits the BSE vault kisses her pendant and the video freezes. Someone is watching a video feed on a big screen and gasps. The person has a similar pendant that she holds up to match that on the screen. Who is this and what does she want with Priya? The unknown character exhibits a mannerism that is just like that of Priya.

Open Loop: Who is watching Priya? What does she want from her?

Mystery: Why does the person have the same pendant as Priya?

Empathy/Distress: Priya is caught in the middle of a conspiracy she is unaware of

Payoff: for the pendant and Priya’s mannerisms.

Irony:

Setup: for the rest of the series when we discover Priya’s real identity.

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is once more well everything is coming together. I’m stoked with this rough draft of my outline. Several new scenes have been added, one new character, and numerous new ideas incorporated.

Title: THE BACKPACK

One-Hour Serialized Christian Thriller

Show Concept: When he finds a battered backpack, a homeless veteran’s life takes a spiritual turn as the supernatural contents of it alter both his destiny and the lives of people in crisis he encounters.

Inciting Incident: Noah discovers a battered backpack in an abandoned warehouse.

FADE IN:

TEASER

EXT. AFGHANISTAN – KABUL NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

An Army Humvee patrols a dusty street. NOAH ADAMS in turret.

Noah talks about aliens and demons. He mocks God, blasphemes

Jesus. His buddy at the wheel, ABEL KANE agrees. Two other

soldiers inside, look uneasy with the discussion.

NOAH

But maybe that’s just Satan’s plan.

To deceive the “true believers”.

Humvee swerves, Noah accidentally rakes apartment, kills

innocent family. In shock, Noah locks eyes with Abel —

The Humvee hits an IED. BOOM! Everyone dead except Noah with

severe head wound. Noah begs Jesus to help him — faints.

Start: A normal patrol, 4 soldiers, normal blaspheming banter

Challenging Situation: death may be around every corner

Conflict: sniper fire

Action: return fire but accidentally kill civilians

Finish: death to all except Noah

Intrigue:

OL: What the heck is going on with Abel?

M: Why did the Humvee swerve sharply?

E/D: Empathy for the murdered Afghan family. Noah’s anguish.

Set up: Noah’s PTSD, his other injuries and plot against him.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Deception, Hidden Agenda

EXT. ARMY COURTS-MARTIAL – WASHINGTON D.C. – DAY

Lightning, THUNDER. A bland government building.

INT. ARMY COURTS-MARTIAL – HALLWAY

Noah sits with scar on forehead and vacant look on a bench

guarded by two uniformed men, exposition about Noah’s charges

and banter about the soon-to-be-rendered decision.

Noah feels uncomfortable, sick to his stomach, goes to

bathroom, power goes off, a woman screams, a guard enters

bathroom where Noah has convulsion, pukes, both guards ill,

go help woman. Noah suddenly feels okay, walks to freedom.

Start: Noah awaits verdict for war crime charges.

Challenging Situation: Might go to prison for life.

Conflict: He claims he is innocent, couldn’t control his aim

on the target because Abel, the Humvee driver —

Action: Power goes out. Does God intercede on Noah’s behalf?

Finish: Noah walks to freedom.

Intrigue: why did the power go off?

OL: What will happen next to Noah?

M: Why did he feel sick?

E/D: We feel for him, wrongly accused. He is sick, in pain.

Set up: Did Noah just prevent a possession?

MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery

EXT. ARMY CID HEADQUARTERS – QUANTICO, VA – DAY

Criminal Investigation Division. A bland government building.

INT. ARMY CID HEADQUARTERS – KANE’S OFFICE – DAY

Major SETH KANE, looks with sadness at a desk photo of, Abel,

his twin brother and himself as kids. A Lieutenant enters.

Kane reveals dad’s naming joke, set up his pain about loss of

Abel, also his belief the system will work to convict Noah.

A corporal enters, upset, reveals Noah escaped custody. Kane

sighs, then has a seizure, recovers. Asks the men to leave.

They wonder if he’s okay. He SCREAMS for them to get out.

Kane resists what’s happening to him — but can’t, whines —

KANE

Yes, yes…I understand.

Start: Kane is a professional soldier, cool as a cucumber.

Challenging Situation: Learns his brother’s “killer” escaped.

Conflict: believes in the system, but now isn’t sure.

Action: Suffers a strange “seizure”, in pain can’t fight it.

Finish: Kane is changed; a grim, determined look in his eyes.

Intrigue:

OL: What just happended to Kane?

M: Why the siezures?

E/D: We feel sorry for his loss, he’s in physical distress.

Set up: This is Kane’s inciting incident. He’s possessed.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Conspiracy

ACT ONE

EXT. NASHVILLE – LOWER BROADWAY AVENUE – DAY

Music. Tourists. Homeless people. One is NOAH ADAMS, now

heavily bearded, scar on his forehead. The name on his ragged

Army jacket reads, “TAYLOR”. He seems confused, begs change.

POV from on the street nearby — someone clocks Noah.

Start: Noah, now bearded, trying to stay under the radar.

Challenging Situation: He’s homeless, hungry, broke.

Conflict: Everyone he meets might turn him in.

Action: He wanders aimlessly.

Finish: Someone is very interested in where he goes.

Intrigue: Who is following Noah and why?

OL: What will happen to Noah if he’s caught?

M: Who is interested in him?

E/D: He’s broke and homeless and a bit confused with PTSD.

Set up: This is Noah’s new world.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Intriguing World

EXT. NASHVILLE – ALLEY – DAY

Noah talks to several people, we learn more about him, he

checks unlocked back doors, gets chased away from one, “you

bum”. THUNDER. It starts to rain hard.

POV from somewhere close – someone watches Noah.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat

EXT. NASHVILLE – WAREHOUSE DISTRICT – NIGHT

It’s raining. Noah slogs through puddles, exhausted, hungry.

He disappears around the corner of an old, vacant building.

The company name, the letters painted long ago, now badly

faded, unreadable in the darkness, wind and rain.

POV from somewhere nearby – someone follows after Noah.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat

EXT. VACANT WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Noah peeks through a broken window, climbs inside.

INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Noah explores, nothing of value. Checks refrigerator, several

items spoiled, except one can of soda. He drinks, remembers —

INSERT COURTHOUSE FOOTAGE

Noah left alone by guards, he now remembers fighting against

“something” — but he won and walked from the courthouse.

BACK TO SCENE

MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery

Noah sarcastic, “I’m free. Thanks a lot, God”. Noah notices

something hidden under a bench, a battered backpack, checks

it out. Worthless junk inside, except a small cross, “God

Loves You” on it. Maybe he can sell the mess for a few bucks.

A MAN steps from shadows, gun drawn, confronts Noah. It is

SETH KANE, Abel’s twin. Noah reacts like he’s seeing a ghost.

Kane looks conflicted, a major internal battle is going on.

He aims at Noah — Noah jumps out the window with backpack.

Start: Noah homeless on the street.

Challenging Situation: Noah seeks shelter.

Conflict: Finds no food, nothing to ease his pain.

Action: Discovers backpack.

Finish: A ghost from Noah’s past shows up, tries to kill him,

Noah escapes through broken window.

Intrigue: Was Kane following Noah? What is this backpack?

OL: Will Kane and Noah meet again?

M: Why didn’t Kane shoot Noah?

E/D: Noah is falsely accused, broke and hungry.

Set up: Noah now possesses the backpack.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat

EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY STREET – DAY

Noah walks, anxious. Tries to sell backpack. No takers.

Intrigue: Is there anything valuable in the backpack?

OL: Will Noah be able to sell it?

M: What role will it play in Noah’s life?

E/D: He needs money. Someone is chasing him.

Set up: Noah is now on the run.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Intriguing World

EXT. ANOTHER CITY STREET – DAY

Noah is fed up with carrying the worthless backpack, has a

major PTSD episode. Sees Abel’s face — alive and dead,

remembers other things that happened before the IED.

Intrigue: Is the backpack forcing him to remember things?

OL: Will he remember everything that happened to him?

M: What role will the backpack play in his life?

E/D: He’s in emotional pain. Psychological distress.

Set up: Noah’s first decision about the backpack.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound

EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY

Noah’s about to toss backpack into dumpster — horns HONK.

A WOMAN in heavy traffic, arms open wide. Suicide in

progress. Noah can’t stand by. He runs, pulls her to safety.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Hidden Layer

EXT. DUMPSTER – DAY

Set up woman’s dilemma, feels unworthy. Noah mutters he feels

like her, unworthy. He’s embarrassed. She tries to go back

into traffic. He stops her, says she is worthy “in God’s

eyes.” She laughs.

Noah pulls cross from backpack, offers it and kind words. A

change comes over her, is reborn. Thanks Noah. He’s stunned.

Start: Noah starts to trash the backpack.

Challenging Situation: Noah has FLASHBACK trying to save a

young girl from drowning — this woman needs to be rescued.

Conflict: Noah must help but is afraid of what might happen.

Action: Pulls her from traffic, remembers childhood religion.

Finish: He saves her life. Now is in even worse conflict.

Intrigue: Why did Noah feel he had to act?

OL: What’s the deal with his childhood religion?

M: Who was the young girl in his flashback?

E/D: He’s in obvious internal distress. We feel for him.

Set up: Noah’s reason for rejecting God and religion.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Hidden Layer

EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

Noah wanders aimlessly, more confused than ever. Steps off

curb close to truck stop — HONNNNNNK — nearly is run over.

The tattooed TRUCK DRIVER shakes his head in dismay at Noah.

Intrigue: What will Noah do next?

OL: Is the truck driver important to the story?

M: The cross “saving” the homeless woman.

E/D: Noah is at the mercy of the world. He needs help.

Set up: James’s and Noah’s story.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat

EXT. TRUCK STOP – DAY

JAMES JOHN, the tattooed trucker, finishes filling his rig.

INT. JAMES’S 18-WHEELER – CONTINUOUS

James climbs into cab, wallet in hand. He thinks a moment,

opens wallet to reveal a faded photo of himself with a woman

and young boy. James’s face fills with sadness.

INSERT MONTAGE OF JAMES’S FAMILY BEING KILLED

– James is a devil-may-car successful drug dealer.

– James has a happy home life, wife and young son.

– The “competition” murders James’s family, James devastated.

BACK TO SCENE

Intrigue: What will James do now?

OL: What is happening with Noah at the moment?

M: Will James and Noah be tied together in the story? How?

E/D: James tries to cope with memories. Is in emotional pain.

Set up: What part James will play in Noah’s journey.

MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery / Wound

EXT. TRUCK STOP RESTAURANT – DAY

Noah sits outside with backpack, unsure what to do, glances

at people who enter and exit.

James past without acknowledging Noah — but clocks the

backpack as he enters the restaurant.

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis’ Outline With Intrigue

I learned from this lesson that I could dig deep into my scenes and find irony and other intrigue that I didn’t initially think was there.

Teaser

INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Scientists attach electrodes to the shaved heads of: Older Diana (75), Older Peter (68), Older Mark (81) and Older Suzanne (87) They’re lying unconscious. Meanwhile, doctors attach electrodes to four comatose individuals in their 30’s who are connected to life support machines. Monitors show brain activity normal for the elderly and dark for the younger people.

Head scientist Lily (50’s) taps her futuristic touchpad. Electricity arcs from the elderly to the young. Then the elderly convulse and collapse. Each of their monitors flatline. They’re dead.

OL: Who are the elderly people?

OL: Who are the younger people?

M: Why are the younger people brain-dead?

M: What is this experiment about?

E/D: The elderly people die.

Set Up: We will see the experiment in context later.

Act One

INT. RETIREMENT COMMUNITY – DAY (3 MONTHS EARLIER): MYSTERY

Former neuroscientist Older Diana frostily welcomes Older Peter, her tech mogul boss who forced her into retirement 10 years ago. He’s desperate to acquire her patent; otherwise, she could block the procedure he’s developing. And he’s in a hurry. Which gives her the power.

She’ll assign him the patent if he reinstates her on the project—and makes her a test subject. He agrees to the first, but points out she doesn’t have the money to pay for the second. She tells him he can take care of that.

M: Why did Older Peter force Older Diana into retirement?

E/D: Older Diana aged out of her job.

M: Why is Older Peter in a hurry?

M: Were Older Diana and Older Peter merely employer/employee?

Payoff: The procedure Older Peter is developing is the one we saw in the Teaser.

M: Why do you need to pay money to be a test subject?

Irony: Older Diana is blackmailing Older Peter for a chance that she might lose her life.

Set Up: Older Diana stole the breakthrough theory that led to the consciousness transfer procedure.

EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY: WOUND

Older Mark, a Senator, golfs with his old friend, the head of the Independent Party. They’re on the putting green when Older Mark argues that he wants to run for another term. His companion points out he’s had a 40-year run. Why not go out on top and write a memoir?

Older Mark pushes until the Party Chief retorts that he’s too old and they’ve got a younger candidate in mind. Older Mark drives a golf ball hard to express his frustration.

E/D: Older Mark can’t run for another term because he’s considered too old.

Set Up: Older Mark will become one of the test subjects.

Irony: Older Mark has built up all this experience in the Senate that he can’t use because he’s too old.

M: What’s driving Older Mark to seek another term?

OL: Will Older Mark run for Senate?

INT. VOGUE MAGAZINE OFFICES – DAY: WOUND

Older Suzanne, a cosmetics tycoon, is with the Editor-In-Chief, going over the upcoming issue’s layout so she can approve the placement for her cosmetics ads. She has taste and is firm with her opinions.

Her son Adam (59) bursts in to announce she has no authority to speak for the company, humiliating Older Suzanne. The Editor-In-Chief defuses the situation, claiming she asked for Older Suzanne’s help as a personal favor.

M: Why does Older Suzanne have no authority at her company?

M: Why is the Older Suzanne-Adam relationship so bad that he wants to humiliate her?

Set Up: Older Suzanne neglected Adam growing up because of work.

E/D: Older Suzanne is being humiliated by her own son.

E/D: Adam perceives Older Suzanne as too old to be effective.

Irony: Older Suzanne is the best one for the task.

INT. OLDER PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY: DECEPTION

Older Peter tells his CFO to put down the $20 million to be paid to older Diana’s host family as a legal expense. The CFO is hesitant, but Older Peter will take responsibility. Older Peter has a pain attack that he explains as the result of a heavy breakfast.

After the CFO leaves Older Peter calls a realtor about selling or mortgaging his properties.

Payoff: Older Peter pays for Older Suzanne to become a test subject.

Set Up: Older Peter’s pain is really from late-stage cancer.

M: Why is Older Peter being shady about the $20 million?

M: Why is Older Peter considering mortgaging or selling his properties?

Set Up: The project is costing too much and Older Peter needs funds.

Irony: A successful billionaire doesn’t have enough money.

INT. DINER – DAY: CONSPIRACY

A remote downscale diner that Older Peter uses when he wants to conduct confidential business. He and his doctor are having lunch, but Older Peter has no appetite. The doctor tells him, as his oncologist, that he still recommends chemotherapy to extend his life beyond a few months.

Older Peter says he can’t be sidelined now. He just needs to control the pain. The oncologist has brought him oxycontin. No problem if he gets addicted.

Payoff: Older Peter has Stage 3 pancreatic cancer.

OL: Will anyone else find out about the cancer?

Irony: no problem with addiction because Older Peter is dying.

INT. HI-TECH LAB – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA

Older Peter has come to view a power test to determine the optimal amount of energy needed for the transfer procedure. Two test dummies are strapped into adjacent beds with conductive coils connecting their electrodes. Lily asks an engineer for the level of gigawatts, then works her touchpad.

The electricity running through fries the electrodes, sets the dummy heads on fire, and ruptures the conductive coils. An utter failure. Older Peter tells Lily to hold this report until after his board meeting this evening.

E/D: The power test is a failure.

OL: Will Older Peter make this procedure viable before he dies?

Set Up: Older Peter needs to deceive Board to continue the project.

INT. BOARDROOM – NIGHT: IMMINENT THREAT

Older Peter explains how they can sell this procedure to people of all ages, who will put a deposit down and use it when they grow old. He’s only bounded by the number of suitable candidates. 26,000 people a year suffer brain death and they need a fraction of that for these projections (on screen).

A Board Member rises to interrupt the presentation and accuses Older Peter of failing to notify them of the spiraling costs of this procedure. He calls for a vote and The Board votes to suspend operation, for now.

Payoff: All of Older Peter’s deceptions were to mislead the Board into thinking the project would be profitable.

E/D: Older Peter’s project is delayed, which is life or death for him.

Set Up: Older Peter will find a way around the Board.

Irony: The Board thinks it’s only pausing the project, but it is condemning Peter to death.

INT. HIGH-TECH AUDITORIUM – TWO DAYS LATER: INTRIGUING WORLD

Older Peter holds a slick product launch press conference to introduce the consciousness transfer procedure. He introduces his fellow test subjects, and mentions that Older Diana came up with the breakthrough theory that makes the whole thing possible. The auditorium is full and mesmerized.

Afterwards, journalists shout out questions. One asks Older Diana how she came up with her breakthrough. She deflects, saying it was over 40 years ago. Two hours later, Older Peter learns that the company’s stock price is rising. The Chairman of the Board calls to say the project is back on.

M: What is Older Diana hiding about her breakthrough theory?

Payoff: Older Peter won his battle against the Board.

OL: How will the world react to a fountain of youth only available to the supremely wealthy?

Act Two

INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – OBSERVATION GALLERY – DAY: HIDDEN LAYER

The test subjects now have time to settle their affairs before the scheduled procedure. Especially with their families. Older Diana has no living relatives to deal with. Older Peter broke up with his last girlfriend. Older Diana asks him about his daughter.

Older Peter hasn’t seen his estranged daughter in 25 years. Older Diana encourages him to contact her, but he’s afraid of a face-to-face rejection.

M: Why is Older Peter estranged from his daughter?

OL: Will Older Peter ever reconcile with his daughter?

OL: Will some of Older Diana’s relatives actually be alive?

Set Up: Older Peter’s estranged daughter will show up.

Irony: Older Peter can manage a project that will change the world, but he’s afraid to talk to his daughter.

INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – DAY: WOUND

Older Peter tells Lily that Older Diana is now a new member of the scientific team. Lily comments that she thought she was in charge of selecting the team. She also notes, in a catty manner, that Older Diana’s been out of the loop for 10 years, a lifetime in science.

Older Diana coldly replies that’s she’s kept up to speed during her retirement. There’s no love lost between these two women.

M: Was Lily there when Older Diana was, and do they have a history?

OL: Will Older Diana and Lily ever bury the hatchet?

Irony: Lily has no respect for Older Diana, who was on this project for nearly 40 years.

Set Up: Older Diana and Lily will jockey for control of the project.

INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT: HIDDEN LAYER

Older Mark eats dinner with his wife Sylvia (74) whom he married for political reasons. They’ve had a long, loveless marriage which he has strayed from, regularly. They are cordial with each other, but their body language betrays their anger.

Older Mark wants a divorce. Sylvia threatens to air all their dirty laundry to sabotage his re-election bid. He’ll just have to stick to mistresses.

OL: Will Sylvia threaten Older Mark’s run for Senate?

OL: Will Mark manage to get the divorce?

M: Were they ever happy in their marriage?

Irony: The perfect couple bitterly hate each other underneath.

INT. LAVISH TOWNHOUSE – DAY: HIDDEN LAYER

Older Suzanne has come to see Adam to tell him the news. She tries to make her son see that she deserves a do-over in life. The way his father died, the way she was never there for him or his sisters—she has so many regrets.

All Adam cares about is that she resign from her Emeritus post at the company and never again pursue a role there. And he wants it in writing. Disappointed, she leaves without signing the contract he’d already drawn up.

OL: Will Older Suzanne and her son ever mend their relationship?

M: How did Older Suzanne’s husband die?

M: How did the relationship between Older Suzanne and her son get this bad?

Irony: Older Suzanne wants approval from the son she neglected.

INT. CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT OFFICE – DAY: SECRET IDENTITY

Older Mark visits his beloved daughter Sarah (46), a Congresswoman. They have always been close and she’s followed in his footsteps. When he explains he’s going to become young again to compete for his Senate seat, she accuses him of robbing her of the family political legacy. He should just stand aside.

OL: What will Sarah do if her father runs for Senate?

M: Why was Older Mark blind to the ambition he had inculcated in his daughter?

Irony: Sarah is a chip of the old block but Older Mark can’t see that.

E/D: Older Mark has deeply disappointed his beloved daughter.

E/D: Sarah is devastated by her father’s news.

INT. TEST SUBJECT PREP ROOM – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

The four test subjects are preparing for the procedure by having their heads shaved so the electrodes can be placed. To cover up the distinct possibility that they will die, all four keep the mood light. They talk about the first thing they’ll do in their rejuvenated bodies.

Older Diana wants to climb mountain peaks the way she did in her 30’s. Older Peter wants to do yoga and tai chi the way he used to. Older Mark wants to play basketball—it’s been 17 years. Older Suzanne wants to eat a pint of blackberry chocolate chip ice cream in one sitting.

A knock on the door: they’re ready for them.

Irony: They might die so they are keeping conversation light.

E/D: They all might die in this experiment.

Payoff: The procedure is at a point where they can try it.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT: MYSTERY

Quick cuts of each host family’s final goodbye. The husband of Older Diana’s host refuses to let go of his wife’s hand as she’s wheeled out until Med Techs intervene. The husband of Older Mark’s host hugs the body and dissolves into tears. The parents of Older Suzanne’s host hold each other by her bedside.

In contrast, the wife of Older Peter’s host doesn’t look upset to see her husband go.

M: Who are these brain-dead hosts?

M: Why did the families agree—was it just the money?

Set Up: Why doesn’t the wife of Older Peter’s host look upset?

Set Up: What were the family relationships before these hosts became brain-dead?

Irony: the families are giving up their loved ones for dead, but in sense, they’ll be alive again.

INT. HI-TECH LAB – NIGHT: IMMINENT THREAT

A slightly expanded version of the Teaser. The test subjects enter and lie down on their beds. They’re given anesthesia as scientists attach electrodes. The hosts (also with heads shaved), on portable life support units, have their electrodes attached. Then an engineer connects a test subject to a host with conductive coils.

The procedure starts. Same convulsion and death. The test subjects’ monitors all flatline. But this time we go further and see the host bodies open their eyes. And monitors show that the hosts’ brain activity is normal.

Payoff: The procedure worked.

Set Up: What problems with the procedure might arise?

OL: What is life going to be like for the test subjects in their new host bodies?

Act Three

INT. PETER’S COMPANY GYM – DAY (6 MOS LATER): INTRIGUING WORLD

The test subjects are working out with trainers in their now fit host bodies. They’re pushing themselves because a photographer is there, shooting video for publicity. Lily and the Chief Doctor enter to inform them that they’ll be released in a week, and have to do follow ups every month.

Lily cautions them that their faces are as known as the influencers on social media and the reality stars on TV. They should be prepared for looks and selfie requests, or worse. A protest movement has sprung up against those who can pay millions for a literal fountain of youth.

Set Up: They will be recognized.

Set Up: There is now an organized protest movement.

Payoff: The test subjects have successfully integrated with their now-healed host bodies.

Irony: They will be famous because of the enormity of this consciousness transfer, not for any accomplishments.

OL: What will the hosts experience in the outside world?

INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

Peter is on a video call pitching to middle-aged near-billionaires. His CFO interrupts to tell him their sales numbers are going through the roof. Peter warns his targets that they better reserve their spots soon.

Security calls: protesters are blocking the main entry gate. They send the footage to his screen. He freeze-frames the ringleader. A look of recognition crosses his face. He tells security he’ll speak with her.

Set Up: The ringleader will turn out to be Peter’s estranged daughter.

Payoff: Peter is making money on this procedure like he projected.

OL: What will happen with the protests?

EXT. COMPANY CAMPUS – DAY: SECRET IDENTITY

Peter heads toward a designated spot in the center of the company campus. Two security officers follow at a discreet distance. The ringleader stands and waits, flanked by a security team. No one is taking any chances. When Peter arrives, he waves away all the security. The ringleader says “Hi, Dad.” She is Emma (35), his estranged daughter.

Emma notes, ironically, that they’re the same age now. She’s come with a proposal. Her national group wants a lottery system with a low-priced ticket. Peter rejects it, contending that a lottery hurts the lower classes, who spend more of their income than they should on tickets.

M: Why are Peter and his daughter estranged?

OL: Will Peter and his daughter ever reconcile?

M: How did Emma become a ringleader in the protest movement?

OL: Will the protest movement become a threat to the test subjects?

OL: Will the protest movement become a major obstacle to the procedure?

Irony: Peter is faced with the estranged daughter he’s been avoiding.

Payoff: The estranged daughter is here.

EXT. PARK BASKETBALL COURT – DAY: SECRET IDENTITY

Mark is playing one-on-one basketball against a campaign intern. A hot campaign manager, Eli (36) comes to interview. Mark has them both shoot baskets while he interviews him. Definite chemistry. And, despite his youth, Eli has a stellar record of waging successful campaigns. He’s hired.

M: Why did Mark really hire Eli?

OL: What kind of relationship will form between Mark and Eli?

M: Is Eli gay?

Set Up: Eli will affect Mark’s trajectory.

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY: SECRET

Suzanne brings flowers to a gravesite that’s part of a wealthy family’s burial plot. She bends to trace the engraved name with her finger, then stands. She removes from her purse a photograph taken in 1971 of a young man (25) playing a guitar. The handwritten name under it is “Alan.”

As Suzanne stares at the photograph, it stirs memories…

E/D: Suzanne is distressed that this man is dead.

M: Who was Alan to Suzanne?

Set Up: Alan was an important part of Suzanne’s life.

INT. LAVISH TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT (FLASHBACK): HIDDEN LAYER

Suzanne flashes back to herself at 45, having a horrible fight with her husband, Don (40’s) over his reckless use of drugs. Don’s always wallowing in self-pity about how she outshines him everywhere they go. They throw and smash objects. She blurts out that she should have stayed with Alan.

E/D: Suzanne had a terrible marriage.

Payoff: Alan was her first love.

M: How did Suzanne’s husband die?

M: How did Suzanne come to marry Don?

INT. HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT: HIDDEN AGENDA

Suzanne does a search for Alan’s obituary. Suzanne reads the names of the surviving family members and starts searching social media for them. Amid all the cyberstalking, she finds a grandson, Austin (30), who will be performing at a bar in Los Angeles tomorrow night.

Set Up: Suzanne finds out about Alan’s grandson.

Irony: Suzanne is now roughly the same age as her first love’s grandson.

M: Why is Suzanne so focused on this family? What are her intentions?

INT. LOS ANGELES BAR – NEXT NIGHT: SECRET IDENTITY

Austin, playing acoustic guitar, finishes up the last song in his set. Suzanne is at the bar, dressed in the Gen Z version of a killer outfit. As she approaches him, he recognizes her as one of the famous test subjects. She flirts with him and learns he’s in his family’s real estate business. They have chemistry.

Payoff: Suzanne meets Austin.

M: Why is she trying to seduce Austin?

Irony: Suzanne attempts to seduce the grandson of a man she had an intense relationship with.

Set Up: Suzanne is planning something more than a one-night stand.

INT. MARK’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE – NIGHT: SECRET IDENTITY

An attractive female polling expert tells Mark he needs to take a position on consciousness transfer—should it be left to the free market, or should it be regulated? As she talks about polling voters, she flirts with him.

For a man who was reputedly a Senate Lothario, Mark is strangely not interested. But he’s noticed through the half-glass wall of Eli’s office that his campaign manager is changing clothes. Mark is mesmerized by his body.

Payoff: Mark has an interest in Eli beyond work, and it’s physical.

Set Up: Mark will be open to a sexual encounter with Eli.

M: Why is Mark suddenly attracted to men?

M: Was Mark secretly gay in his previous life?

Irony: In his previous body, Mark pursued numerous extra-marital affairs with women. Enough to get a reputation.

INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – DAY: WOUND

Diana has commandeered a team of analysts to go over test subject and host data because she wants to probe for problems before moving forward. Lily is furious because she plans on devoting all their resources to meeting Peter’s goal: performing the next set of transfer procedures in 6 months.

Diana and Lily argue over the split of resources. Ultimately, Diana gets two data scientists, while Lily takes the rest of the staff. Lily’s won this round.

OL: Will Diana find problems with the procedure’s outcome?

OL: Will the company meet Peter’s goal?

Set Up: Did the hosts cause a problem in the procedure?

Payoff: Diana and Lily are in full-blown competition, and Lily wins the first round.

OL: How will Diana try to win against Lily to regain the respect she feels is missing?

INT. MEDICAL LAB – DAY: HIDDEN LAYER

Peter and Mark are hooked up to a set of monitors generating scans of their brains and their bodies. Mark tells Peter he has to take a position on consciousness transfer, and he’s leaning toward putting in guardrails. Peter’s shocked: Mark is a test subject because as a Senator he protected this tech from government interference.

But now that the tech works, Mark is worried about national security. What if bad actors emerge? Peter, deadly calm, says he might have to reconsider whom to support in the Senate race.

Set Up: Mark doesn’t have the same goal for the consciousness procedure that Peter does.

OL: Will Mark come out for regulation?

OL: If he does, will Peter make good on his threat?

Irony: Mark believes the exact opposite of what he used to.

Payoff: Mark is following his pollster’s recommendation.

INT. CORRIDOR/DIANA’S ROOM – NIGHT: STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Diana exits the High-Tech Lab into a corridor that leads to her sleeping quarters. She sleeps at work. In bed, Diana pores over her host’s data. She also sees a bio of her host’s husband and takes note of the photo.

For an unknown reason, she feels compelled to find photos and video of this man. She scours social media, unable to stop. She reacts to the sky lightening outside her window as dawn approaches. What the fuck is she doing?

M: Why is she so obsessed with her host’s husband’s photos?

Set Up: There is a reason for Diana’s unexplainable compulsion.

Irony: Diana, who has no one in her life and prefers it that way, is acting like a teenager with a crush.

Act Four

INT. COMPANY YOGA ROOM – EARLY MORNING: HIDDEN AGENDA

Peter is alone, doing a series of yoga poses. Diana, having been up all night, knows she can find him here at 6 am. She enters, starts doing yoga poses, too. In an off-hand way, she mentions that the protests seem to be growing in size and frequency.

She suggests that it might be good publicity to visit the host families and then have them confirm that they are happy with the outcome.

OL: What will happen with the protests?

E/D: Diana feels ashamed of her unexplainable compulsion.

INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT – DAY: HIDDEN LAYER

Upon meeting Josh (35), her host’s husband, Diana feels compelled to throw her arms around him, but he beats her to it. She hugs back. Josh is emotional seeing “his wife” living and breathing again. She was his soulmate and today he feels like she’s somehow found her way back to him.

Diana asks if he’s still okay with his decision. Josh nods, then asks why she wanted to be young again. Feeling (strangely) comfortable in his presence, she confesses that her mother had Alzheimer’s and it was in her genes and she couldn’t live like that. Did she leave someone special behind? No, Diana never found love, but she was fine with that.

E/D: Diana is being vulnerable and opening up to Josh.

Set Up: Who are these hosts, really?

Payoff: Older Diana’s concern with screening the hosts for genetic diseases is a result of her mother’s Alzheimer’s.

M: What kind of relationships did Diana have in her previous life?

OL: Will anything romantic happen between Diana and Josh?

INT. THEO’S SUBURBAN HOUSE – DAY: WOUND

Mark is reminded that his host was gay when he meets his husband Theo (40). Theo has no real regrets because the $20 million enabled him to buy this house and devote all his time to raising his 7-year-old daughter, Lucy. But he doesn’t want his daughter confused, so he sent her on a playdate.

Unfortunately, the friend’s mother returns Lucy, who goes running into Mark’s arms shouting “Daddy.” Mark replies that he just looks like him. Lucy asks what his favorite ice cream flavor is. When Mark responds with the wrong flavor, Lucy starts to cry. He’s not her Daddy. Mark feels terrible.

E/D: M feels terrible about hurting his host’s daughter.

M: Is Mark’s being gay somehow connected to his host?

Irony: Not only did Mark hurt his own daughter by transferring his consciousness, but he also hurt his host’s daughter.

INT. MANSION – DAY: SECRET

The mansion recently purchased by Suzanne’s host’s parents is decorated in a flashy, over the top style. When Suzanne meets Patti and Chris (both early 60’s), they’re overcome with excitement about a celebrity cosmetics tycoon in the family. They hope they can spend some time with her. Maybe some free samples from her company, too?

Suzanne hides her distaste as she asks if they regret the choice they made. Are you kidding—it paid for this house and everything in it. They hate to say it, but their daughter left for good after college, and it was a relief because she was obsessive and vindictive. They didn’t see her until after the accident.

M: Has Suzanne been affected by her host’s obsessive and vindictive behaviors?

OL: If not, will she be?

Irony: Suzanne, the tasteful, elegant, competent businesswoman, is paired, through her host, with the exact opposite types of people.

INT. ANNA’S APARTMENT – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT

Peter meets his host’s wife, Anna (33). His host physically abused her, but the wounds have long ago healed. All Peter picks up is her nervous disposition. After asking if she has any regrets, she answers that her husband wasn’t supposed to return.

Peter is confused for a beat, then realizes that she’s convinced that he’s her late husband. He tries to dissuade her, but when he moves closer, she turns and grabs a hidden gun. Pointing it at him, she says she won’t let him hurt another woman. Instinctively, Peter grabs the gun and disarms her. He nearly pistol-whips her, but stops himself.

E/D: Peter was attacked in a case of mistaken identity.

M: If there was so much vetting and testing, how did this man slip through the cracks to become Peter’s host body?

M: Who was Peter’s host?

OL: Will Peter be able to control his rage?

Irony: Zen, unflappable Peter now has a violent temper.

INT. DINER – NIGHT: MYSTERY

An upset Peter prefers to be here to talk to Diana. After hearing his story, she strongly suspects his rage came from how his host body is wired. She believes the same is true of her attraction to Josh. They have to fix this defect before they try the procedure again. Diana advocates for transparency to avoid scandal if the protesters find out. Peter disagrees, fearing his clients will pull out and his company will go bankrupt.

Both Diana and Peter know how to push each other’s buttons, hinting at a previous relationship. At one point, an enraged Peter slams his drinking glass so forcefully on to the table that it cracks. Finally, he threatens to reveal a secret that will ruin Diana’s scientific reputation.

E/D: Both Diana and Peter are affected by the emotions wired into their host bodies.

M: What is the secret that will ruin Diana’s scientific reputation?

M: Did Peter and Diana have more than an employer-employee relationship?

OL: How else will the hosts influence the test subjects’ behavior?

INT. DIANA’S ROOM – NIGHT: MYSTERY

Still shaken by her encounter with Peter, Diana is on her bed, arms around her knees—a position that denotes vulnerability. Diana asks her AI assistant for information on Dr. Arjun Chakrabarti. Is he connected to the secret Peter alluded to? She’s informed Chakrabarti died in NY on 9/11.

E/D: Diana is shaken by Peter’s anger and threat.

M: Who is Dr. Chakrabarti to Diana?

M: Is Dr. Chakrabarti connected to Diana’s secret?

Act Five

INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY: SUSPICION

After the altercation in the diner, Diana is keeping her distance from Peter. He insists on keeping Mark and Suzanne in the dark, so they can’t accidentally reveal the side-effects to outsiders.

The first step in counteracting the mysterious influences on their emotions is to find out everything they can about the hosts. Peter admits he farmed out procurement to a firm that investigates potential hires.

Payoff: Peter’s desperation to complete the procedure quickly also led to outsourcing the vetting process.

M: What went wrong with the vetting process?

M: What is the story with the company Peter hired?

M: Who were the hosts, really?

EXT. 40-FOOT YACHT – DAY: SECRET IDENTITY

Suzanne treats Austin to a ride on a friend’s yacht. As they knife through the water, Suzanne goes up to the captain and takes over the helm. Austin is impressed. Then she lets him steer the boat. Suddenly, she gets an alert about her company; she hasn’t let that go yet. It turns out her son Adam is expanding the business into fashion—a terrible move.

Austin reminds her that she wants to let go of her work side. Suzanne takes this opportunity to give him a special gift: a vintage acoustic guitar that belonged to James Taylor, Austin’s favorite musician because his grandfather used to play the records. He gives her a passionate kiss.

OL: Will Suzanne be able to resist going back to her ruthless businesswoman self?

Payoff: Suzanne is building a romantic relationship with Austin.

OL: Does Suzanne have a hidden agenda when it comes to Austin?

EXT./INT. VETTING COMPANY – DAY: SUSPICION

As Diana and Peter exit from a car, Diana reports to Peter that the host records had no reference to anyone having violent tendencies.

When Diana and Peter first meet the CEO, he’s defensive: he put his best teams on their project. Eventually, the CEO gleans from his files that the selected hosts were all vetted by a married couple. They happened to die in a car accident, sometime between the press conference and the transfer.

M: Does the CEO know more than he’s saying?

M: What are the chances of only one team having all the test subjects selected?

M: Was the death of the investigators really an accident?

Set Up: the start of unraveling the mystery of the hosts.

OL: What else will Diana and Peter discover?

INT. CAMPAIGN OFFICE – NIGHT: SECRET IDENTITY

Mark and Eli are the only ones there, working late. Eli informs Mark that the polling data he asked for, about how people in his state feel about gay and lesbian issues, should arrive in a few days. Eli guesses correctly that the question is a proxy for how people feel about gay politicians.

Then Eli makes a pass at Mark, who responds, despite the fact that an affair with a subordinate would be a career-ender. The two of them end up on the couch in Mark’s office. Mark swears Eli to secrecy, but can he trust him?

M: Is Mark gay because his host was gay?

OL: Will Mark be outed or come out?

OL: Will the affair be found out?

OL: What will happen with Mark and Eli’s relationship?

Irony: Mark never caused a scandal in the Senate with his known womanizing, but that was a different era. He’s more vulnerable with this kind of affair, today.

INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY: MYSTERY

Peter and Diana have done their own research and are going over what they’ve discovered. While the married investigators were vetting the hosts, they put a down payment on a new house, bought expensive E-Cars, and opened a Swiss Bank account.

On a video call, they try to pry account information from an officious Swiss banker, but no dice. Still, they’ve made progress. But they still have no clue who paid them to falsify their vetting results and then had them killed.

M: Who paid the investigators to falsify their vetting results?

M: Did the same party responsible for paying them also have them killed? Or is something else going on?

M: Why did they falsify the vetting results?

M: Why were the investigators killed?

M: Are those who paid and killed the investigators just a link in a long chain to those ultimately responsible?

Where did these hosts come from if so much trouble went into falsifying their vetting results?

INT. UNDERGROUND BUNKER – DAY: CONSPIRACY

The entire bunker is set up as a high-tech lab, with scientists all over. The head scientist is in the middle of briefing General Barnes (60’s) on their progress. They can’t make the leap to imitate Peter’s company until they know more about what they’ve done.

They’re interrupted by a call for Barnes: his guest is waiting in his office.

M: Why is this lab trying to run parallel with Peter’s?

M: What is the Pentagon’s interest in consciousness transfer technology?

M: Why is this lab a secret operation?

M: Is this lab a secret from the administration or sanctioned by it?

OL: What might they do to Peter’s operation or the test subjects?

INT. GENERAL BARNES PENTAGON OFFICE – DAY: CONSPIRACY

Mark is there and his expression is grim. He asks if Barnes is willing to help persuade the administration to endorse him for the Senate. The General doesn’t think that will be a problem.

Mark says okay, he’ll do it. Barnes assures him that as a mole he’ll be doing the right thing: protecting national security.

Payoff: Mark is betraying Peter over his values (national security).

E/D: Mark believes in loyalty but he believes in serving his country, more.

OL: Will Mark be caught by anyone on Peter’s side?

OL: How will Mark steal information from Peter’s lab and its tight security

[Gayla Betts]

Gayla Betts Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is that labeling the components of intrigue really made me look at what was in the scene and add/detract what needed to be there and what didn’t.

TEASER:
INT. OPHIUCHUS STUDY – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLDOPHIUCHUS loses his temper when his henchmen cannot find “her” (Jess), and kills one of them without a second thought.M: Who is this person? Why does he want “her”?OL: What is going to happen?

ACT 1:

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAY – MYSTERY

JESS and her roommate, LISA, walk out of a class building, discussing Jess’ birthday plans with her father that night. Her secret service agent, RAIF, is not far behind.

Jess stops when she sees a thread of stardust. No one else sees it. Raif notices her strange behavior.

Setup: Why is she not looking forward to seeing her father?
OL: What is the stardust?
M: What is the stardust?
M: Why does Jess have a secret service agent?

PLACEHOLDER – Someone discussing Jess. Is it Ophichus? Or?…

EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT – CONSPIRACY

Secret Service AGENTS discuss security for the birthday dinner as they go through their security checklist. One of them seems off.

M: Why are they having this disagreement now?
Setup: What’s going to happen?

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT – WOUND

JESS HARPER celebrates her birthday with her SAMUEL HARPER father, the PRESIDENT of the United States, which has been closed to the public. Secret Service agents mill about at a distance. Jess thinks she sees a thread of starlight. Jess brings up her mother, but her father deflects.

A WAITER attends to them as she doesn’t try to hide her comments.

M: What won’t her father talk about her mother?
OL: What happened to her mother?

E/D: Jess is upset her father won’t discuss her mother.

Setup: What is the taboo on talking about her mother?
Setup: Why doesn’t she hide her comments in front of the waiter – will he come up later?

INT. RESTAURANT – KITCHEN – NIGHT/PLACEHOLDER – CONSPIRACY

The cook looks suspicious/says something to the waiter.

M: What is going on?
Setup: We’ll find out.

RESTAURANT – NIGHT – HIDDEN LAYER

The president presents a gift to Jess – a silver bracelet. The conversation becomes heated about her mother. The agents perk up.

The waiter approaches – notices the bracelet. Looks back toward the kitchen.

M: Why is the waiter so interested in the bracelet?
Setup: What does the bracelet mean?

INT. RESTAURANT – KITCHEN – NIGHT – DECEPTION

The cook is on the phone. He stuffs it when an agent walks in.

M: Why did the cook hide the phone and his conversation?
M: Who is he talking to?

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT – IMMINENT THREAT

Jess has not put on the bracelet, as their conversation has turned into an argument.
The whiz of a silent shot – then the president slumps over.
When Jess realizes, TIME STANDS STILL. SILENCE. A WOMAN’S VOICE speaks to Jess.
She reaches out to her father and touches his wound – horrified. I
n a vacuum, he opens his eyes and whispers to her. She’s confused.
TIME RESUMES. THE WORLD CRASHES BACK IN as agents rush to her father.
In the few seconds before Raif gets to her, the waiter snaps the bracelet on her wrist. As she turns to him, he tells her she needs to keep the bracelet on. She notices a thread of stardust near him.
By the time Raif arrives, he’s gone.
Ambulance sirens are heard in the distance.

M: What is happening with time standing still?
M: Who was the woman’s voice?

M: Who shot the president?
M: What did he whisper to Jess?
Setup: Why did the waiter put the bracelet on her wrist?
M: Who is the waiter, really?
E/D: Jess’ father might die – what is happening?

ACT 2:

INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM – NIGHT – WOUND

Jess sits in a chair, feeling guilty about arguing with her father. Secret Service agents are everywhere. CAROLINE JACKSON, the Vice President’s wife, enters. Hugs Jess. Tells her the VP is on his way. Seems to care.
Asks an AGENT for a report. There’s not much.

The DOCTOR comes in. He doesn’t know how, but the President has survived – almost as if someone moved the bullet enough to save him. He’s in a coma for a unknown period of time.

Jess wants to see her father.

E/D: Jess upset over her father – in a state of shock.
M: Did Jess do something at the restaurant to save her father?

INT. HOSPITAL ICU ROOM – NIGHT – HIDDEN LAYER

Under the watchful agents, the doctor and a nurse, Jess grabs her dad’s hand, babbling that she’s wearing the bracelet – “see”. She leans in and says something to him. He doesn’t respond. She begs him to wake up.

Caroline enters and coaxes her away. Says Jess is coming home with her.

Jess agrees but needs to go to her apartment and get some things. Raif and other agents will take her.

OL: What is going on with the bracelet?
E/D: Will her father live?
M: Why is the VP wife so insistent Jess come home with her?
Setup: Jess insists on going to her apartment.

INT. JESS’ APARTMENT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT – STRANGE BEHAVIOR

PLACEHOLDER She uses her powers to get away.

M: What are her powers?
M: Why does she run away?

EXT. STREET – NIGHT – SECRET

Jess runs hard. Thinks she sees stardust threads and tries to follow them.

M: Why is Jess running from the secret service?
M: What are the stardust threads?

EXT. STREET – NIGHT – STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Time has passed. Jess sees a light ahead. As she gets closer, she sees the Starlight Café. It’s surrounded by threads of stardust. She enters the door.

M: What is the Starlight Café and why did she run there?
M: What are the threads?

INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT – CONSPIRACY

Everyone in the café stops talking and stare at Jess. GABRIEL, surrounded by adoring women, breaks free and moves toward Jess.

As soon as she gets her bearings, Jess sees the BARTENDER – who is the waiter from dinner – and lunges at him, demanding answers. When Gabriel intervenes, the bartender runs away in a panic.
Gabriel points to Jess’ bracelet, and gets her attention by mentioning her mother.

M: What is the significance of the bracelet?
M: How does Gabriel know her mother?
OL: What is the café?

ACT 3:

PLACEHOLDER SCENE

INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – BOOTH – NIGHT – INTRIGUING WORLD

Gabriel looks over the bracelet – which Jess cannot remove.
He explains parts of the Sidereal world to Jess, who is in disbelief.

OL: What is the Sidereal world?
M: Why can’t Jess remove the bracelet?
Setup: Jess can’t remove the bracelet.
M: How does Gabriel know her mother?

E/D: Jess is still in shock – things are moving fast.

EXT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT – CONSPIRACY

Raif watches the café door – makes a call on his cell.

M: How did Raif follow her?
OL: Who is he reporting to?

INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – BOOTH – NIGHT – STANGE BEHAVIOR

LILAH, the owner, joins Gabriel and Jess. She cautions Gabriel. Too late.
Jess wants answers from her. Because of the bracelet, Lilah is shaken. She wants Jess out of the café now – before it’s too late.

Gabriel volunteers to take her out the back. He accidentally lets her see the portal, but brushes it off.

M: Why does Lilah caution Gabriel?
M: Why is Lilah shaken?
OL: What does the bracelet have to do with everything?
M: Why does she want Jess out of the café “before it’s too late?”
Setup: What is the portal?

Act 4:

EXT. PARK – NIGHT – INTRIGUING WORLD

Gabriel shows Jess parts of the sky explains the danger she’s in, which she doesn’t believe.
Jess has been getting calls/texts – gets another. She needs to go back to the hospital to see her father.
Gabriel warns her not to go. He has an idea. He offers to tutor her and walk her back to the hospital. Tries to warn her. He explains the sidereals cannot use powers on earth without a catalyst – her. But it also goes another way – she can use the sidereals in their world – so the ancient prophecy goes.

M: What is the Sidereal world and who is Ohiuchus to Jess?
M: Does Gabriel know her father?
M: What is the prophecy and how does it affect her?

E/D: Why does Gabriel not want her to go to the hospital?
E/D: Why should she trust Gabriel?

PLACEHOLDER

INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT – SUSPICION

When Jess enters the hospital, unseen so far, she overhears a conversation about her father being braindead and need her permission to let him go. In shock, she flees.

E/D: Her father has been pronounced braindead.
M: Why does Jess have the instinct to flee?

PLACEHOLDER

ACT 5:

INT. WHITE HOUSE – HER FATHER’S OFFICE – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY

Jess enters – and searches her father’s office. As the door opens, she stuffs something into her pocket. Caroline enters. She feigns sincerity, but wants Jess to go the hospital. Jess agrees, but as OTHERS enter, Jess slips away.

M: What is Jess looking for?
M: What did she find, and why did she hide it?
E/D: Jess has to deal with Caroline.

PLACEHOLDER(S)

INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT –PLACEHOLDER

Jess sneaks into the café and has a confrontation with Lilah – (in earlier scene) Gabriel already told her about Lilah’s secret husband.

PLACEHOLDER SCENES

Heart to heart with Lilah, Ophiuchus to some extent. Flashes Jess gets. More demos of her powers.

INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT – IMMINENT THREAT

Jess has final confrontation with Lilah and Gabriel – threatens to expose Lilah’s secret, as they try to reason with her about what will happen if she uses the portal – it cannot be undone, and she might die. Just as it appears she’s backing down, she goes through.

E/D: Jess is torn – her life is on the line, but she needs to find out about her mother and try to save her father.
M: Will she die if she goes through – what if she is not the person in the prophecy?
Setup: Will she betray them?

OL: What’s on the other side of the portal?