BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 1: Teaser and High Speed Writing - BWTV AI

Denice Lewis

Member

March 14, 2024 at 6:21 pm

Dreambound’s Tease/High Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment: Speed writing is not something I do, but I’ve done a lot of things in this class that are a first for me, and I will continue to do so. I was proud of myself for writing faster and hope to get faster with the next pages.

Renee Miller

Member

March 14, 2024 at 8:26 pm

Renee’s Teaser/High-Speed Writing

What I learned from this assignment is that I get better at writing at a high speed as I practice it. I learned this method during the Writing Incredible Movies class but have struggled with it since. Having this refresher has been great and I hope to be able to continue to write my first drafts at a high speed.

Kristina Zill

Member
March 15, 2024 at 8:50 pm

KZ’s Teaser / High Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment: That the more I can do in the first session, the better.

I wrote 21 pages the first day, and would not have stopped except that it was dinner time.
- Denice Lewis
  
  Member
  March 16, 2024 at 3:36 am
  
  Great job,Kristina!

Jeff Chase

Member

March 14, 2024 at 10:08 pm

Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Teaser / High Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment is I have a bad habit of spending too much time on certain chunks of dialogue and/or scene descriptions. The perfectionist in me keeps rearing its nefarious head. I’m forcing myself to speed write as much as I know I’ll be getting better at it as I go.

Title: THE BACKPACK

One-Hour Serialized Christian Thriller

Show Concept: When he finds a battered backpack, a homeless veteran’s life takes a spiritual turn as the supernatural contents of it alter both his destiny and the lives of people in crisis he encounters.

FADE IN:

TEASER

EXT. AFGHANISTAN – KABUL NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

A U.S. Army Humvee patrols a dust-choked street. Laundry
dries in the breeze above an open sewer. Yeah, this is
religious perfection under the merciless rule of the Taliban.

INT. HUMVEE – DAY

Sgt. NOAH ADAMS, 30, stands in the machine gun turret. Battle
hardened, cynical. His eyes constantly scan for threats.

NOAH
I’m telling ya, all these recent UFO
reports is just more of the government
lying to us.

At the wheel, Lt. ABEL KANE, 35, quick-witted, Noah’s best
bud, glances up at Noah with wrinkled brow.

ABEL
Thought you said they were real. “Trust
the Air Force fighter jock who filmed
one”, you said.

Two other SOLDIERS, dressed for combat, sit in the rear of
the Humvee, absorb the bumpy ride best they can.

NOAH
Not so sure anymore. Wondering if they
might be demons, part of Satan’s plan, ya
know?

One GI in back chuckles, rolls his eyes. The other takes
Noah’s words seriously.

Noah stares hard at the horizon with a worried look.

NOAH (CONT’D)
Had another dream last night.

Abel looks up at Noah —

NOAH (CONT’D)
Yeah…another frigging angel.

Abel turns his attention back to the road ahead.

ABEL
Not turning into some bible beating,
sermon quoting weirdo dude on me, now are
you, Noah?

NOAH
God deserted me a long time ago, Abel.
But I…something felt different when I
woke up today.

Noah draws a breath —

NOAH (CONT’D)
Maybe aliens are demons and it’s part of
Satan’s plan to deceive us.

Abel’s face loses all expression. One eye twitches —

A bullet PINGS off the armored plate surrounding Noah.

NOAH (CONT’D)
Jesus H Christ!

The “real” Noah is suddenly back, alert ready for action.

ABEL
Now, that’s my Noah!

Abel consults his digital readouts —

ABEL (CONT’D)
Target three-hundred, one o’clock!

Noah’s machine gun spits fire – BRRRRP — again — BRRRRP!

AK-AK-AK-AK — bullets PING off the side of the Humvee —

NOAH
We’re in a cross fire!

ABEL
Sniper on roof with RPG!

Noah rotates his machine gun — spots the sniper — BRRRRP!

EXT. CRUMBLING APARTMENT BUILDING – SAME TIME

A three-story jumble of makeshift blocks and beams. Noah’s
bullets RAKE the roof line where a SNIPER ducks out of sight.

NOAH
Steady my aim, Jesus, baby.

Abel’s body contorts in pain — his eyes frantic, fearful —

NOAH (CONT’D)
Praise Daddy, the dude and mama bear.
Prepare to die, damn you.

The man stands up with the RPG for a quick shot — BRRRRP —
chunks of concrete fly from the building facade. Tango down.

Abel draws his sidearm — aims at Noah —

Noah scans the apartment building for other threats —

Abel’s face fills with terror — something — or someone is
forcing him to do this. I DON’T WANT TO KILL NOAH!

He calms, his face loses all expression — one eye twitches —

Noah glances down at Abel — sees the barrel of the gun —

NOAH (CONT’D)
Abel?

A spark of recognition fills Abel’s eyes — then sadness.

He quickly takes the gun off Noah — jams it under his chin —
his body spasms — his free arm jerks the steering wheel —

The Humvee swerves sharply — Noah hangs on for dear life —
accidentally pulls the trigger — BRRRRP! BRRRRP!

Machine gun bullets SLAM into the building, concrete EXPLODES
— glass SHATTERS — SCREAMS from injured people inside —

Noah and Abel lock eyes —

The Humvee speeds over a taut wire — BOOM!

The IED EXPLOSION lifts the Humvee ten feet in the air — it
CRASHES back to earth — a broken, smoking hulk of metal.

The two GIs in back, both dead. Abel sprawled half way out of
the Humvee, eyes open in a death mask of terror.

Noah lies nearby, bloodied, barely alive — he whispers —

NOAH (CONT’D)
Jesus…please…save me.

He goes unconscious. Somewhere a rooster CROWS. Stillness.

EXT. ARMY COURTS-MARTIAL – WASHINGTON D.C. – DAY

A summer THUNDER storm pounds the bland government building.

INT. ARMY COURTS-MARTIAL – HALLWAY

A long hallway, empty save for a bench next to MENS ROOM. A
man sits there in an Army uniform stripped of all insignia.
An ugly, recently-healed gash graces the man’s forehead. He
stares at the floor with vacant eyes. The man is Noah.

Two Army MP’s, JOEY and DAN, flank their prisoner, at ease,
they banter in an Army version of good-cop-bad-cop.

JOEY
Hang in there, Noah. There’s a good
chance for acquittal.

DAN
Murder. War crimes. Probably gonna get
life in Leavenworth.

A FLASH of lightning — thunder BOOMS outside the building.

JOEY
Didn’t hear any real proof, Dan.

DAN
What more do you need, Joey? Two
corporals and his lieutenant dead? Afghan
family of twelve, massacred?

JOEY
I just get the feeling…we haven’t heard
the whole story, ya know.

Another BOOM. The lights flicker.

DAN
Yeah, right.

Noah’s body suddenly spasms — a sickly look fills his face.

JOEY
You okay, Noah?

NOAH
Don’t feel so good.

Noah coughs — dry heaves.

DAN
Wouldn’t be feeling too good myself in
your shoes, dude.

Another BOOM of thunder — the lights go out. Darkness.

JOEY
What the hell?

Noah stands on wobbly legs, dry heaves again —

NOAH
Need to…

Noah staggers into the bathroom.

A CRASH from an office down the hallway — a woman SCREAMS.

A YELL of pain from a man somewhere nearby —

DANNY
What do we do?

JOEY
Stay with Noah. I’ll check it out.

Joey sprints down the hallway.

INT. MENS ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

Noah in a stall, pukes black slime — it stinks, looks evil.

Danny enters, GAGS at the smell, covers his nose, mutters —

DANNY
What the…Damn. Looks like you’ll be
busy in here a while.

Another SCREAM of someone in distress close by —

Danny glances between Noah — and the door — Danny exits.

DANNY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Joey…where are you?!

Noah GROANS, his body spasms as though he’s in some kind of
violent, internal battle to the death.

A glowing, white brilliance envelops his body. He forces
himself to his feet — suddenly feels normal. What the…?

INT. MENS ROOM DOOR – MOMENTS LATER

Noah pokes his head out, looks both ways. It’s clear —

EXT. ARMY COURTS-MARTIAL – WASHINGTON D.C. – DAY

A FLASH of lightning. THUNDER. Noah sloshes through puddles
as he sprints down the sidewalk away from the building.

EXT. ARMY CID HEADQUARTERS – QUANTICO, VA – DAY

Criminal Investigation Division. Typical government building.

INT. ARMY CID HEADQUARTERS – KANE’S OFFICE – DAY

Sparsely furnished. A desk nameplate reads, Maj. Seth Kane.

KANE, 35, gazes with a mixture of love and sadness at a desk
photo of Abel, his twin brother, and himself as kids.

Cpl. JOHNSON enters, closes the door, notes Kane’s demeanor —

CORPORAL JOHNSON
Sorry for your loss, sir.

Kane shakes his head, sets the photo aside, forces a smile —

KANE
Our dad was a preacher, weird sense of
humor. Wanted to play a joke on God, I
suppose. So he named us Seth and Abel.
With our last name Kane, dad had all
three sons of Adam.

Kane draws a breath, regains his composure, all business.

KANE (CONT’D)
I should have been over there with him,
Johnson.

CORPORAL JOHNSON
Yes, sir.

KANE
That damn Sullivan rule. Abel used it to
get me assigned stateside while
he…Verdict still not in?

CORPORAL JOHNSON
Should be soon, sir.

KANE
Still can’t believe Abel’s gone…But, we
have to trust the system. Right, son?
That murderer will get his due reward.

CORPORAL JOHNSON
Yes, sir.

Kane stares at his desk photo with steel hard eyes.

KANE
And I sincerely hope that —

Someone RAPS impatiently on Kane’s office door —

KANE (CONT’D)
Come.

Kane’s SECRETARY enters, clasped hands, nervous, stammers —

SECRETARY
Uh, ju…just got a c…call, sir.
Sergeant Noah Adams —

KANE
– Tell me he got life.

SECRETARY
He, uh, he…escaped custody, sir.

KANE
What!

Kane holds his head in his hands on his desk —

KANE (CONT’D)
Oh, my god…

He draws a deep breath, looks up both, purses his lips —

KANE (CONT’D)
They have any leads about where —

His body suddenly spasms, his back arches at a weird angle.

CORPORAL JOHNSON
Sir, are you…

Kane relaxes — his eyes wild with shock and surprise —

Kane spasms again, his body twisting grotesquely —

KANE
Get out. Both of you.

SECRETARY
But sir, you seem —

KANE
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! NOW!

They quickly exit the office. The door SLAMS shut.

Kane’s body trembles uncontrollably —

KANE (CONT’D)
What is happening…

His face reveals pure terror. He clenches his fists, fights
whatever is trying to take control of his body —

A horrified look of realization fills his eyes — he can’t
win — a WHINE of despair escapes his lips. His body relaxes.

Kane’s face loses all expression. One eye twitches — his
voice is deeper, devoid of all emotion —

KANE (CONT’D)
Yes. Yes…I understand.

END TEASER

Lenore

Member

March 15, 2024 at 4:16 pm

BWTV Module 4, Lesson 1

Lenore Bechtel’s Teaser and High Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment is that I actually have the willpower to leave misspelled words that Final Draft didn’t correct even though doing so makes me cringe.

I wrote a 7-page teaser in exactly two hours thirty minutes. Here it is:

HYPNOTIZED BY HOPE PILOT

FADE IN:

INT. KARMA KLUB – NIGHT

Several tiered rows of occupied tables face the stage, where Hypnotist JOSHUA HOPE performs a hypnosis show. Dignified LILLY BRANDON and Develish QUINTEN QUEBECK sit alone among customers dressed to reflect their bohemian free spirits.

On stage TWO MEN, THREE WOMEN, weirdly dressed volunteers, and sexily dressed SALLY SINGLETON, sit on stools awaiting Joshua’s suggestions.

The audience reacts with glee throughout the following.

JOSHUA

(to audience)

See how comfortable they look? That’s because being hypnotized feels good.

(to volunteers)

All of you will have a wonderful time tonight, and when you awaken from your hypnotic trance, you’ll be very glad you did everything I asked you to do. No embarrassment, no chagrin–just joy that you starred in my show tonight.

All six smile and nod agreement.

JOSHUA

Take a deep breath and think of a famous celebrity or super hero that you truly admire.

All six sit up straight, breathe deeply, and seem to visualize someone they truly like.

JOSHUA

How would you like to talk to that person? A one-to-one phone conversation?

A cacophony of ‘yes, yes’ and demonstrative nods.

JOSHUA

You can, you know. Your right shoe is a secret telephone that leads direct to the one you admire.

All quickly remove their right shoes and place them to their ears.

JOSHUA

Your hero is talking to you now, telling you exactly how you can be just like him, or her, or whatever. Very soon you’ll have the urge to walk around the stage just like your hero would do.

One by one each arises and struts around the stage while Joshua keeps talking.

JOSHUA

(to biggest man)

Do you want to tell me who you are?

BIG MAN

(flexing his bicep)

Arnold Schweneger.

JOSHUA

Good man!

(to oldest women)

You look very stately and self-assured.

OLDEST WOMAN

(straightening an imaginary crown on her head)

I am Queen Elizabeth to tell you the report of my death was a conspiracy theory.

JOSHUA

We’d love to hear more about that, but we have too many other celebrities to meet right now.

(to other woman)

You see very pleased with yourself.

OTHER WOMAN

I am. I am. I’m Carlotta King, daughter of the great Martin Luther King Jr.

JOSHUA

You’d be wise to follow in your father’s footsteps.

SMALLER MAN

(eager for his turn)

I did that.

JOSHUA

You did, did you? Want to tell me ‘bout that?

SMALLER MAN

I am Napoleon who was never defeated at Waterloo.

JOSHUA

I never heard of your father.

SMALLER MAN

If I had one, I don’t remember, but I do remember what I did to people who ignored me.

JOSHUA

We’d better not go there.

(to Sally)

Let’s go instead to this young lady here who’s just as beautiful as a rose–

SALLY

(lifting her face close to his)

Ready to blossom at your command.

JOSHUA

Aren’t you a temptress though!

SALLY

Come on to my house, my housa come on.

Sally tries to pull Joshua’s face down for a kiss.

JOSHUA

(to audience)

Can I help it if she thinks she’s Rosemary Clooney?

He puts his arm around the back of Sally’s waist.

JOSHUA

(to other five subjects)

All of you have been wonderful as those you admire. If you like the feeling, you’ll find you can bring it back anytime you think of your hero, but for now keep that feeling as you take your seats and watch for a while.

Joshua extends his arm around the front of Sally’s waist. She snuggles closer to him.

JOSHUA

You’re very comfortable here in my arm, so comfortable you simply melt and relax and lean down over my arm. Just let both your arms drop and know that you’re very safe as I lift you off the floor and let you dangle from my arm.

The audience gasps as Sally hair flies toward the floor. Joshua smirks as he balances her on his hip and walks around the stage.

JOSHUA

(to audience)

There are different levels of hypnosis. Some people resist and can’t be hypnotized at all. Most can be hypnotized with short hypnotic relaxation, followed with the proper suggestions. Then there are the few who can zonk out when I lower my voice without a single suggestion. I call them somnabulists–the term used for sleepwalkers. Forget dangling a medallion in front of a person’s eyes. That show biz stuff, not reality.

(to Sally)

Carrying you around has been fun, lovely lady, but after awhile you get heavy. So I’m going to put you down now.

Joshua makes sure Sally’s feet are on the floor, then slowly removes his arm and help her straighten up from the waist.

The audience laughs, applauds, and shouts wows.

Smaller man jumps from his chair and grabs Joshua’s arm.

SMALLER MAN

Do me! O me!

Joshua directs him back to his chair.

JOSHUA

(to Smaller man)

We’ll do more in a minute.

(to Sally)

How did that feel?

SALLY

I loved it, I loved it!

JOSHUA

You’re a tremendous hypnotic subject. So you could use hypnosis for just about anything. Right now, what would you like more than anything else in the world.

SALLY

To work for you.

All in the audience laugh, except Lilly.

JOSHUA

That could be arranged.

SALLY

Then arrange it.

JOSHUA

Consider it done. See you at 8:30 tomorrow morning right in this building. Eleventh floor.

The kiss Sally plants on his lips is shortened by Joshua’s drawing back.

JOSHUA

Take your seat now, like a good girl. We’re got funny stuff to do.

MONTAGE: QUICK GLIMPSES OF THE SIX ON STAGE FROWNING AS THEY HOLD THEIR NOSES AGAINST A FOWL SMELL, USING BOTH HANDS LIKE CLIMBING A LADDER, BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER AS THEY DANCE THE HULA, RUBBING THEIR STOMACHS WHILE HOLDING THEIR NOSES AND STICKING OUT THEIR TONGUES, PUFFING THEIR CHESTS UP LOOKING VERY PROUD.

JOSHUA

You have every right to be proud, and you’ll keep that feeling of pride now as you awaken. Close your eyes now and feel a sensation in your face and neck. Let it flow down through your torso and all the way into your fingers and toes. You’re almost awake now. Three, two, one. Open your eyes.

The audience applauds as all open their eyes, take happy bows, and join their friends in the audience.

JOSHUA

(to audience)

Thanks for coming to our show tonight. You’ve been a great audience.

Lilly grabs him as he steps down from the stage.

Quinten smirks and gets close enough to hear.

LILLY

Tell me you’re joking about hiring another Suzy Q Sexy.

JOSHUA

Aw, come on, Lilly. You can always use the extra help.

LILLY

Since when have they ever been helpful?

JOSHUA

She could free you up to spend more time on the book.

LILLY

You know how to go right for my weakness, don’t you? Are you ever going to let me have a win?

Quinten clears his throat and moves in closer.

QUINTEN

I presume there’ve been numerous Suzy Q Sexies before.

JOSHUA

I presume it’s none of your business.

QUINTEN

Everything is my business, Joshua Hope. I am Quinten Quebeck with the “National Intrigue” here in Tulsa to write a story about you.

JOSHUA

How about that, Lilly? You wanted some national publicity, and here’s the guy wanting to give it to us.

Lilly glares at Joshua.

JOSHUA

(to Quinten)

Stop by our office any time. Sit in on a weight control or stop smoking session. See some of our past TV shows. Maybe get some hypnotic help with any problem yu might have.

QUINTEN

I’ll be stopping by all right. You’ll be seeing me very soon.

Quinten salutes as he heads for the exit.

LILLY

(distraught)

Joshua…. The “National Intrigue” is a scandal sheet. They’re in the business of destroying reputations.

JOSHUA

I know that, Lilly. But we’ll have fun outwitting him at his own game.

LILLY

YOU’ll have fun, Joshua.

JOSHUA

But you won’t be bored, Lilly. Stick with me, and you’ll never be bored.

Lilly’s face shows that is her reluctant truth.

Phyllis Strong

Member

March 15, 2024 at 11:59 pm

Phyllis Strong’s Teaser & High Speed Writing.

I learned from this assignment that high speed writing does not come naturally and I really have to work on it. That said, I did a short teaser in an hour (that’s not speedy, I know).

Sunil Pappu

Member

March 16, 2024 at 5:57 am

Sunil Pappu’s Teaser / High Speed Writing

“What I learned doing this assignment is…to use the high-speed writing rules and write my teaser. I was able to breeze through my first 5 pages of the teaser and it felt liberating not having to get it to perfection. It really helped to have a fully fleshed-out outline with intrigue. I’m hoping to keep the momentum going for the rest of the pilot.”

Art Blum

Member

March 17, 2024 at 6:42 pm

<div>What I learned is that by writing out the scenes you have a much clearer idea of how the story works than you do by looking at the outline. After writing a scene I have to go back to the outline and make changes I didn’t think I needed until I see how the thing plays out, if that makes sense. I don’t know how this all works as I’m going back and forth in time. Hope it works!</div>

GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY

TEASER

FADE IN: EXT. STARRY SKY – NIGHT A clear night sky with a trillion twinkling stars. INSERT: “IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, LIFE ENDS. IF IT IS BROKEN BY AN INSIDE FORCE, LIFE BEGINS. GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM THE INSIDE.” JIM KWIK INT. BUNGALO – DAY MARIA, 60, a weathered-faced Hispanic woman straightens the T-shirt of slight 14-year-old RYAN GORDON. Her head askew at the ferocious wolf emblazoned on his shirt. MARIA You’re sure this is the shirt you want to wear? RYAN It says “stay away.” That’s what we want, right? MARIA No eye contact. Solo habla… RYAN …when spoken to. Maria hugs him and Ryan’s off. EXT. RUN DOWN AREA OF AKRON, OHIO – DAY Ryan pedals fast. The wind blows back his dirty blond hair. His mountain bike whizzes past dilapidated homes, an abandoned tire factory, and a vacant lot. He zooms up an inclined sidewalk and jumps a toy wagon. DR. BLAINE (V.O.) Cut this I-can’t-do-it crap! Ryan breaths hard, rides faster. FLASHBACK INT. SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT DR. ROBERTA BLAINE (47), a regal, in-charge woman paces around a tiny windowless room, bright white, floor to ceiling.2. She pulls back the droopy head of a seven-year-old boy code named: STAR ROVER, seated facing the TV. Star’s Ryan at age 7. Star wears a T-shirt with a lone wolf emblazoned on the front. His cheek is red and swollen. He holds TINY, a black terrier. DR. BLAINE You’re making me look bad. And that’s not good for you. Now, look at the pictures. Locate the target. Dr. Blaine shows Star old B&W photos: homes, and people. DR. BLAINE Locations! She whispers in his ear. DR. BLAINE Ask Jimmy. STAR ROVER You’re going to kill them? DR. BLAINE Before they kill us. Star Rover scowls, uncooperative. Dr. Blaine scoops up Tiny. DR. BLAINE Dogs really aren’t allowed here. I made an exception for you. BACK TO PRESENT: EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY Ryan zooms, running from the bad memories. He jumps a four- foot hedge. Zips onto a street. Weaves between cars. FLASHBACK: INT. SAFE HOUSE – DAY Star’s necklace which holds a fragment of a St. Christopher medallion starts pulsating light. Star wraps his hand around the medallion, closes his eyes and seems to go into a trance. INT. SAFE HOUSE – NICKEL’S ROOM – NIGHT Lying in bed, NICKELS, (16), Star Rover’s muscular half- brother sees his fragment of the medallion pulsate light. He jumps to his feet. Rams his shoulder into the door. INT. SETH’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT Fat, sloppy SETH ROEMER, 48, chomps a popsicle as he drives. Cigarette butts and beer cans litter the floor. A bright flash. He spots his fragment of the medallion glowing. He swerves. Makes a U. Slams down on the gas. INT. SAFE HOUSE – STAR ROVER’S ROOM – NIGHT POUNDING and SCREAMS from people behind the wall. Dr. Blaine looks around in wild-eyed confusion. SCREAMING FROM THE HALLWAY. The door CRASHES open. Nickels bursts in. Star Rover snaps out of his stupor. The pulsating light dies. STAR ROVER Nickels! Seeing Star Rover’s puffed-up teary eye, Nickels loses it. Charges Dr. Blaine. She jabs a serrated knife in the air. DR. BLAINE Backup is on the way. I suggest you… Nickels swats away the knife. Slams Dr. Blaine’s head through the plasterboard. Flings her back onto a desk. Ribs CRACK. STAR ROVER Nickels, stop! You’ll kill her. Nickels drops her. Star Rover cringes when she hits the floor. NICKELS Run! They scramble out of the room with Tiny chasing them. EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – MORNING Ryan rips past a sign that reads, ENTIRE BLOCK FOR SALE. FLASHBACK: INT. SAFE HOUSE – HALL – DAY Nickels blasts down the hallway. Trailing him, Star Rover spots two groaning GUARDS on the ground, coming to. A squad of six helmeted men dressed in black, and carrying assault rifles crash into the safe house.4. A SOLDIER smashes the butt-end of his rifle into Nickels' face. He falls to his knees. The soldier takes aim, about to shoot but the LEADER yanks his rifle. LEADER Idiot. We need him. The leader motions to Star Rover. In a friendly voice. LEADER We’re not going to hurt you, son. Star Rover sees the blood trickling down Nickels’ face. Nickels explodes to his feet and tackles three soldiers. Another three SOLDIERS scramble toward Nickels. GUN SHOT. Nickels crumples to the ground. STAR ROVER Nickels! Then from behind, SHOTS FIRED. Two soldiers go down. Star Rover turns and sees Seth blasting away. Soldiers SHOOT back. BACK TO PRESENT EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY Riding furiously, Ryan grasps the back of a RUMBLING truck. FLASHBACK INT. SAFE HOUSE – DAY Seth grabs Star Rover and dashes out of the room through a back door. Star Rover tries to break free from Seth. STAR ROVER I have to help Nickels. SETH He’s gone. They race out of the room. BACK TO PRESENT EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY Ryan spots a monstrous school, lets go of the truck, veers toward the school. END TEASER:

Art Blum

Member

March 17, 2024 at 6:50 pm

I just wanted to re post to see if this works batter..

TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. STARRY SKY – NIGHT

A clear night sky with a trillion twinkling stars.

INSERT: “IF AN EGG IS BROKEN BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, LIFE ENDS. IF IT IS BROKEN BY AN INSIDE FORCE, LIFE BEGINS.

GREAT THINGS ALWAYS BEGIN FROM THE INSIDE.” JIM KWIK

INT. BUNGALO – DAY

MARIA, 60, a weathered-faced Hispanic woman straightens the T-shirt of slight 14-year-old RYAN GORDON. Her head askew at the ferocious wolf emblazoned on his shirt.

MARIA
You’re sure this is the shirt you want to wear?

RYAN
It says “stay away.” That’s what we want, right?

MARIA
No eye contact. Solo habla…

RYAN
…when spoken to.

Maria hugs him and Ryan’s off.

EXT. RUN DOWN AREA OF AKRON, OHIO – DAY

Ryan pedals fast. The wind blows back his dirty blond hair.

His mountain bike whizzes past dilapidated homes, an abandoned tire factory, and a vacant lot.

He zooms up an inclined sidewalk and jumps a toy wagon.

DR. BLAINE
Cut this I-can’t-do-it crap!

Ryan breaths hard, rides faster.

FLASHBACK

INT. SAFE HOUSE – NIGHT

DR. ROBERTA BLAINE (47), a regal, in-charge woman paces around a tiny windowless room, bright white, floor to ceiling.

She pulls back the droopy head of a seven-year-old boy code named: STAR ROVER, seated facing the TV. Star’s Ryan at 7.

Star wears a T-shirt with a lone wolf emblazoned on the front. His cheek is red and swollen. He holds TINY, a black terrier.

DR. BLAINE
You’re making me look bad. And that’s not good for you. Now, look at the pictures. Locate the target.

Dr. Blaine shows Star old B&W photos: homes, and people.

DR. BLAINE
Locations!

She whispers in his ear.

DR. BLAINE
Ask Jimmy.

STAR ROVER
You’re going to kill them?

DR. BLAINE
Before they kill us.

Star Rover scowls, uncooperative. Dr. Blaine scoops up Tiny.

DR. BLAINE
Dogs really aren’t allowed here. I made an exception for you.

BACK TO PRESENT:

EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY

Ryan zooms, running from the bad memories. He jumps a four-foot hedge. Zips onto a street. Weaves between cars.

FLASHBACK:

INT. SAFE HOUSE – DAY

Star’s necklace which holds a fragment of a St. Christopher medallion starts pulsating light. Star wraps his hand around the medallion, closes his eyes and seems to go into a trance.

INT. SAFE HOUSE – NICKEL’S ROOM – NIGHT

Lying in bed, NICKELS, (16), Star Rover’s muscular half-brother sees his fragment of the medallion pulsate light. He jumps to his feet. Rams his shoulder into the door.

INT. SETH’S CAR – TRAVELING – NIGHT

Fat, sloppy SETH ROEMER, 48, chomps a popsicle as he drives. Cigarette butts and beer cans litter the floor. A bright flash. He spots his fragment of the medallion glowing. He swerves. Makes a U. Slams down on the gas.

INT. SAFE HOUSE – STAR ROVER’S ROOM – NIGHT

POUNDING and SCREAMS from people behind the wall.

Dr. Blaine looks around in wild-eyed confusion.

SCREAMING FROM THE HALLWAY.

The door CRASHES open. Nickels bursts in. Star Rover snaps out of his stupor. The pulsating light dies.

STAR ROVER
Nickels!

Seeing Star Rover’s puffed-up teary eye, Nickels loses it. Charges Dr. Blaine. She jabs a serrated knife in the air.

DR. BLAINE
Backup is on the way. I suggest you…

Nickels swats away the knife. Slams Dr. Blaine’s head through the plasterboard. Flings her back onto a desk. ~Ribs CRACK.

STAR ROVER
Nickels, stop! ~You’ll kill her.

Nickels drops her. Star Rover cringes when she hits the floor. ~

NICKELS
Run!

They scramble out of the room with Tiny chasing them.

EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – MORNING

Ryan rips past a sign that reads, ENTIRE BLOCK FOR SALE.

FLASHBACK:

INT. SAFE HOUSE – HALL – DAY

Nickels blasts down the hallway. Trailing him, Star Rover spots two groaning GUARDS on the ground, coming to.

A squad of six helmeted men dressed in black, and carrying assault rifles crash into the safe house.

A SOLDIER smashes the butt-end of his rifle into Nickels’ face. He falls to his knees. The soldier takes aim, about to shoot but the LEADER yanks his rifle.

LEADER
Idiot. We need him.

The leader motions to Star Rover. In a friendly voice.

LEADER
We’re not going to hurt you, son.

Star Rover sees the blood trickling down Nickels’ face. Nickels explodes to his feet and tackles three soldiers.

Another three SOLDIERS scramble toward Nickels. GUN SHOT. ~Nickels crumples to the ground.

STAR ROVER
Nickels!

Then from behind, SHOTS FIRED. Two soldiers go down. Star Rover turns and sees Seth blasting away. Soldiers SHOOT back.

BACK TO PRESENT

EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY

Riding furiously, Ryan grasps the back of a RUMBLING truck.

FLASHBACK

INT. SAFE HOUSE – DAY

Seth grabs Star Rover and dashes out of the room through a back door. Star Rover tries to break free from Seth.

STAR ROVER
I have to help Nickels.

SETH
He’s gone.

They race out of the room.

BACK TO PRESENT

EXT. MEAN STREETS OF AKRON – DAY

Ryan spots a monstrous school, lets go of the truck, veers toward the school.

END TEASER:

Margaret

Member

March 18, 2024 at 5:13 pm

Margaret’s Teaser/High Speed Writing

WTEASER

EXT. TOP OF MASADA – DAY

JACK (20’s), a history enthusiast and budding evangelist, and his girlfriend, ELIZA (20’s), sit among ruins, argue.

JACK

No way! Clearly wrong! What difference is there between him and the guy who made everyone drink the Kool-Aid?

ELIZA

Big difference! The Jews were committed to their God, not a man, and their leader was brave enough to lead them to keep that commitment.

JACK

They died! Almost all of them! I can’t believe you think that is a good thing!

Remnants of the Masada ruins shake.

Eliza screams as the couple jump away from a wall to avoid falling stones.

The earth stills.

Eliza and Jack look around, not sure where to move, waiting for the next tremor. Eliza gives a nervous laugh.

ELIZA

See, even the earth agrees with me.

Jack takes Eliza’s hand.

JACK

Let’s get out of here.

They follow other tourists heading towards the trail head to descend the mountain.

ELIZA

(softly)

You are like him, you know. You care, and try to get others to care too. One of the reasons I love you.

Jack doesn’t smile.

JACK

I am nothing like him. I would never tell a group of people to kill themselves. Never!

Eliza keeps up her nervous chatter.

ELIZA

Mr. History know-it-all. Why are we even arguing about this? Your dad sent us here to find an angle for the commercial, not debate.

Jack concentrates on the path, steps over errant stones.

JACK

This is not the right place. I told him that. He never listens to me.

ELIZA

True that. But you don’t stand up for yourself, either. You follow him around like a duck.

Jack grabs Eliza’s hand, guides her around a large rock. The sun glints off his sunglasses, two round circles of light.

JACK

Nah, the whole orphanage thing was my idea. He followed me on that one.

Eliza notes the weird circles of light reflecting off Jack’s glasses.

ELIZA

What’s with your glasses?

Jack removes his glasses. Sees nothing, the circles of light now moving unnoticed over his chest. He shrugs, replaces the glass. Images of the historic Jews on Masada become shadows on his glasses.E liza does not notice.

She continues to chatter.

ELIZA

Its not doing well, though. I meant to tell you —

This stops Jack in his tracks.

JACK

— What? What do you mean? Donations are up! Call center reports record numbers.

ELIZA

Yeah, that’s what I don’t get it. I’m planning on checking into that when we get back.

A low rumble. The earth shakes, Jack and Eliza struggle to keep their balance.

The ground begins to split between Eliza and Jack. A crack in the earth widens the distance between them.

Jack stumbles, lets go of Eliza’s hand, falls towards the crevasse.hat I learned: I had a very hard time writing at high speed at first draft level. I think it is because I had just finished the WIM last modules and was in perfectionist mode. It took me a while to change gears!

Teaser;

Gayla Betts

Member

March 22, 2024 at 1:03 pm

Gayla Betts Teaser/High-Speed Writing

What I learned doing this assignment is that the first step is the hardest. Thankfully, empowerment WORKS!

Bob Creager

Member

March 22, 2024 at 2:51 pm

Bob’s Module 4

What I learned: It took a bit of effort to get the hang of high speed writing but it worked very well. A breakthrough for sure.

I wrote non-stop for the complete script and did not pause to post to the forum after each lesson but I did read the lesson before doing the Act.

Sylvia Krawczyk

Member

March 24, 2024 at 8:10 pm

HW M4 – L1: Teaser and High Speed Writing

Sylvia’s Teaser

What I learned doing this assignment is…I didn’t get the recommended pages as this teaser is very short. In any case, I dropped my outline into Final Draft and kept the top part as the Outline HW and wrote out the Teaser under it. It helped to keep me focused. It was fast using the skills yet, I am not certain about the amount of pages coming from the prior assignments. So, I’ll keep doing the skills as recommended and see what happens for the entire first draft. My assumption is once it’s done to erase the Outline HW at the top from the first draft so, there will be even less pages. If that’s the case, I can write in more action or dialogue. I am keeping things short and to the point as recommended. And, yet, I meander…LOL!

FADE IN

TEASER

INT. Hotel Ball Room — Evening: MYSTERY

At an elaborate fundraiser, Emily, the Director of Fundraising, sees a child thought to be dead walk across the dance floor. Emily confronts Lily, a Charge Nurse, who denies seeing anything. Emily gets cryptic messages on her phone. No one else notices the child. The child vanishes in thin air.

• Open Loop: Who is the ghost child?

• Mystery: How is a ghost child walking?

• M: Who is sending cryptic messages to Emily?

• Empathy/Distress: Emily thinks she is going crazy/seeing things.

• Payoff:

• Irony:

• Setup: Ghost Child and cryptic messages

High end decorations adorn the walls and dinn’ing tables. There is a huge buffet.

Emily, in a smart dress, engages with attendees. Drinks flow. Food is consumed. Emily has a name tag that states, “Fundraising Director”.

She watches people on the dance floor and notices a small child weaving around the patrons dance steps. The child is unnoticed by anyone else. She looks like a hologram. Emily is in disbelief as she walks towards the child.

EMILY

Emily speaks with Lily and asks her about the child.

LILY

Denies seeing anything and states that the child Emily describes is deceased.

Emily gets a cryptic message on her phone as if someone is watching her.

EMILY AND DR. WHITMAN

There is discussion between the two introducing their characters, who they are and what they are doing.

Emily looks for the child and walks between the guests dancing. She is butted off the dance floor.

Emily runs into Abigail.

EMILY

Emily asks to see Abigail’s notes and her camera.

ABIGAIL

Refuses and there is a discussion about how Abigail has no idea what Emily is speaking about–the ghost child.

Emily sees the child in the distance and leaves Abigail to follow it.

The child vanishes into thin air.

Jerry Robbins

Member

April 1, 2024 at 6:25 am

Jerry’s Teaser/High Speed Writing
What I learned doing this assignment is tht high speed writing dos not particularly feel natural to me and I get totally bored with it, particularly when I don’t feel I know my story yet. I tend to lapse off, fall asleep, start watching movies, go eat, go outside and countless other things. I did write the teaser but then got my feedback about my outline which says I have both too litle and not enough. So, I will commence with Act 1.

This reply was modified 1 year, 1 month ago by Jerry Robbins.

Nat Melvin

Member

April 13, 2024 at 6:41 am

Natalie’s Teaser / High-Speed Writing

WIL: It wasn’t easy to steam through the scenes at a high speed, but I guess, I managed it somehow.

I also added the action scene introducing Protagonist-Antagonist which I planned to be revealed in a dialogue, but the way it intertwines with that scene has much better intrigue.

Former version:

1. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE, HAWAII – DAY – 1

Characters: SOLA, ASH, POLLY, STORYTELLER

Mystery/ Strange Behavior/ Intriguing World

Description: SOLA, panic stroke, flees from an ominous unseen force, followed by the bewildered gazes of her friends, POLLY, and ASH.

Open Loop: What caused ancient Hawaiian people to fall from the sky?

Mystery: Sola is the only one who sees ancient people falling

Empathy/Distress: Sola is terrified of something unseen

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Why does Sola see what no one else can see?

========

Actual Draft

TEASER

FADE IN

EXT. DARK RAINFOREST, UNDERWORLD – NIGHT

Drums roll at a distance, overlapped by Kahuna’s mesmerizing voice as she chants Hawaiian legend.

Lightning zaps Tiki torches. They ignite, swaying, as if in a dream, casting eerie shadows at a fragile girl’s FIGURE in a dark, hooded robe, slouched on an ancient obsidian throne.

She sits, head bowed over the pages of an open “Book of Spells” anchored on her lap by her ghostly bare-bone fingers.

KAHUNA (V.O.)

Long, long ago, before time was

given its meaning, people called

the Children of the Rainbow lived

in Heaven on Earth as immortals,

without concern or disease.

The Kahuna’s voice dissipates, swallowed by a gust of wind. It intensifies and pulls out from behind the Girl’s throne SOLA, a 16 y.o. Hawaiian girl, in a sports bra and jeans.

She clutches onto the throne, torn by the wind, dodging flying twigs and foliage as much as she can.

SOLA

Who are you..? What do you–

GIRL’S EERIE VOICE

Sola… Leaving so soon..?

EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE, HAWAII – NIGHT

The sound of waves beating the shore.

Lush overgrowth careens under the breeze in the glow of the bonfire’s flickering shadows.

A diverse group of Art Exchange STUDENTS sits on the large lava rocks encircling a middle-aged Hawaiian KAHUNA. She shuffles a few flaming logs with a stick, and:

KAHUNA

Those Children had an invisible link

with the Universal God force and could

travel upon the Rainbow to other worlds

and dimensions.

POLLY, (16), Goth clothes, makeup, and funky hair, bored, shares a large rock with ASH, (18), clean cut, eyes with depths beyond his years, enthralled with the tale.

POLLY

Ash, can we just skip–

Ash frowns pressing his finger to his mouth. Polly sighs.

KAHUNA

At nightfall, the Rainbow inverted itself

into a mirror, and the Children played with

their ancestors, hearing stories filled with

happiness and joy. Until…

EXT. DARK RAINFOREST, UNDERWORLD – CONT’D

Lightning strikes, followed by rumbles of thunder.

KAHUNA (V.O.)

One day, the kahuna children created

a silly concept called darkness to contrast

the limitless boundaries of their joy.

That night, the Moon goddess Laka Hina,

sojourned across the sky without the

Rainbow… The link was lost.

Dark, misty clouds converge in a vortex as they form into a gaping MAW. It expands out of proportion above Sola’s head.

KAHUNA

The kahunas who caused the ruckus,

pretended as though they still had a

connection with God, thinking they

were better than the others.

Sola shrieks, holding on to the throne as much as she can, then, — SNAP! She disappears, sucked into the Maw.

KAHUNA ( V.O.)

At that moment, a little black cloud

hovered over their heads… The

severing was set in stone.

The Girl sits as she was, bowed above the “Book of Spells.”

GIRL’S EERIE VOICE

(laughing echoes)

Until we meet AGAIN. Again. again.

END OF TEASER

Barbe LaPierre

Member

April 21, 2024 at 10:18 pm

Barbe’s Teaser / High Speed Writing
What I learned doing this assignment is the High-Speed Writing technique is very helpful. Although my Teaser is only a couple of pages, the HSW kept me from obsessing over making it something it wasn’t meant to be — yet. I believe I followed all of the Rules.
On to Act 1!

BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 1: Teaser and High Speed Writing

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