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BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 6: Problem/Solution Grid 1
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KZ Completed Problem/Solution Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that rather than try to gloss over problems, I should look hard to try to find them, since every problem found means a better, more salable pilot.
The problems I found were:
9. Weak Turning Points at the end of each act
At the end of Act 1, rather than having the mother simply die, I had her convey a secret to her daughter beforehand. I think I may have a way to make that even stronger and less cliché.
11. Weak Transformational Journey
I need to increase the tension between the sisters. Avery especially needs to be an exaggerated version of what she is now so that she has room to grow. I have made her too strong. She needs to be cowed by her sister. Also, she probably needs to be a closet hoarder, whose tendencies were masked by the mother’s issues.
8. Need a stronger cliffhanger at the end of the pilot.
Haven’t figured this one out yet. I’m almost there, but not quite.
2. Weak conflict
I need to increase the stakes in the sisters’ battle, so that they are forced to work together against their opponents.
It helped me to write down the problems I have identified, even though I haven’t figured out the solution to all of them yet. Sort of like stating a goal to the world to be sure I stay focused.
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Jeffrey Alan Chase Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that if I follow the carefully laid out steps before me, my script is rapidly getting stronger day by day. It’s great, for me anyway, to have a set procedure to follow in improving my script. And it works every time I do it.
#2 – The main conflict in my story is a hybrid of a traveling angel and a typical protag/antag(s) set up. I need to up the ante on my protag’s conflict in several areas.
#8 – Also need to make my Act 3 cliffhanger stronger, as it currently is driven by one of my B story characters. I feel like I need to switch him out for my protag, and put him in a cliffhanger situation.
#11 – Also need to elevate my protag’s transformational journey. He at times seems to be just going along with the flow. But, he is the active force that is changing all the other characters around him. I know that his arc is apparent, but I feel I can make it stronger.
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I sometimes gloss over things. The grid helped me focus on problems and I picked the ones I felt could be improved.
#11. Weak Transformational Journey.
Character Profile for Ryan Gordon:
A. Role: Protagonist and central figure of the conflict.
B. Unique Purpose/Expertise: Psychic abilities that allow him to channel spirits and transfer visions.
C. Traits: Socially awkward (negative), empathetic, resourceful, and brave.
D. Empathetic: His vulnerability and desire for normalcy make us root for him.
E. Secrets: His past involvement with a government project that exploited his abilities.
F. Wound: The traumatic loss of his family and brother.
G. Motivation – Want/Need: Wants to live a normal life; needs to reconcile with his past.
H. Weaknesses: His social awkwardness and tendency to transfer visions unintentionally.
I. Triggers: Reminders of his past and the Hermes agency.
J. Internal Dilemma: Desire for a normal life vs. the responsibility of his powers.
IMPROVEMENT: Flesh out Ryan’s internal dilemma to show more of his struggle between wanting a normal life and the pull of his destiny.
#6 Need Stronger Midpoint.
The midpoint twist reveals the broader implications of Ryan’s abilities and the danger he poses to others. The third act shows Ryan’s impact on his peers, while the fourth act ramps up the tension with Hermes closing in. The fifth act leaves Ryan in a precarious position, setting up the series journey.
IMPROVEMENT: The third act could delve deeper into Ryan’s internal conflict to heighten emotional investment. Consider adding more personal stakes for Ryan in the fourth act to amplify the urgency.
#13 Not enough Intrigue
MYSTERY, LAYERS, AND REVEALS
The main mystery is Ryan’s past and the true nature of his abilities. Plot layers include the government’s secret project and their plans for Ryan. Character layers involve Ryan’s true identity and his connection to other characters. Situation layers include the potential consequences of Ryan’s powers and the looming celestial event.
IMPROVEMENT: Introduce more layers early on, such as hints at Ryan’s deeper connections to other characters, to create more intrigue.
#14 Not enough subtext
The dialogue reflects the characters’ profiles well. The best lines are those that reveal character motivations and internal conflict. Some lines feel a bit on the nose and could be reworked for subtlety.
IMPROVEMENT: Reduce exposition in dialogue and allow more subtext to convey character intentions and story developments.
In summary:
Deepen Ryan’s internal dilemma to enhance audience empathy.
1. Add personal stakes for Ryan in the fourth act to increase tension.
2. Introduce more layers and mysteries early on to create intrigue.
3. Rework some dialogue to reduce exposition and increase subtext.
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Sunil Pappu Completed P/S Grid #1
“What I learned doing this assignment is… to look at big picture problems in my first draft and find possible solutions to fix them using the problem/solution grid1.”
I looked at three main areas to improve:
Structure – do my acts work? – I found that my climax actually comes in Act 5 followed by cliffhanger. I need to move this up. Also Act 2 midpoint could be stronger and the entire act could be paced faster – this will allow me to shed some of my pages as well.
Turning points – are they strong? – all look good except for the midpoint which can be stronger. Can I introduce a betrayal here?
ABC stories – are any missing and if not are they weighted as such?
I figured out that my C story is actually my A story in this case since the shocking event mystery asks the question: who is the mole in the team and so the secrets held by my heist team become the main focus while the actual heist and the covert operations becomes the B story while the antagonist’s story becomes the C story. Within this new ABC stories, I have 45% of the scenes related to A, 37% related to B and 18% related to C stories.
I still need to figure out the solutions for a more fast-packed Act 2 but I was able to add a stronger midpoint and moved a few scenes from ACT 2 to ACT 3 that can help create more red herrings for the mystery.
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Denice Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I needed better ‘before’ pictures of my main characters. I have a tendency to jump right into the story instead of laying the ground work that will setup and show the growth needed for my teen protagonist. The feedback helped as well as Grid #1.Since Dreambound is a fantasy, it’s sIll tricky to add a few fantasy elements without giving too much away before the midpoint because my heroine knows nothing about the dream world she will inhabit or her father’s involvement with it.
My main problem was with scene structure in Act 1. I needed to add several scenes, rearrange, and cut some scenes in the other acts to make everything work be<er. I did this in the outline and went back to change the slug lines to fit. Now I have to speed write the new scenes. I rechecked with AI about my outline and will consider that feedback in the next lesson.
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Bob’s Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned: Picking just a few of the problems makes the process less intimidating.
TITLE: ROGUE WARRIORS GENRE: SCIENCE FICTION
Problems Addressed:
I addressed some of these problems with screenplayfeedback.ai including: Weak conflict, structure, weak teaser, stronger midpoint, conclusion not strong.
Following are the ones I did specifically for this lesson:
8. Need a stronger cliffhanger. I looked at the episode ending. The ending mirrored the teaser with a court martial scene. The court martial was deferred when aliens took over the TV/Computer monitors in the courtroom now showing that there is an extraterrestrial connection to the abduction of the protagonist’s brother. The alien part was not shown in the teaser.
9. Weak turning points.
Teaser: The teaser leaves it hanging on why the court martial was postponed.
Act 1: Only minor improvements needed to setup the lead going rogue.
Act 2: Improved dialogue around the discovery of an alien weapon and secondly a possible confirmation that there is a mole realizing details of their action plans.
Act 3: While setting up for the turning point, had to enhance some of the unique character traits in dialogue and action in the scene before the final act scene. Worked on character relationships to hint at that not only the lead is impacted by the events, but so are her fellow rogue warriors. Left two of the team members being held at gunpoint. That resolution occurs in the next act.
Act 4/5: Act 4 had a weak turning point and the act was too short. Act 5 had a twist midpoint that became the end of act 4. Changed the turning point to leave the outcome more in doubt.
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Margaret Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned: Hal’s A.I. Feedback program was beneficial in pin- pointing areas I needed to fix.
Areas I revised:
#1 Weak conflict: I added a ticking clock
#9 Weak Turning Point – added another scene to elevate the stakes and uncover a deeper layer.
#13 Not enough subtext – changed dialogue that was on the nose.
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BWTV Module 4, Lesson 6
Lenore Bechtel complete P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that I would have been unable to identify problems in my script without screenplayfeedback.ai. Just using https://s3.amazonaws.com/bingeworthytv/BW+PS+Grid+1+Final.pdf, I would never have realized the conflict and the cliffhanger needed sharpening. I thought they were both good—that’s why I wrote them that way. But using both as I did has been very helpful.
I’m including my concept for the benefit of anyone reading this, so that the changes I write about will make more sense.
Concept:
Lilly Brandon wants national publicity for the book she’s ghosting for Joshua, but not the kind scandal reporterQuinten Quebeck will write. She must keep Quinten at bay while navigating Joshua’szany treatments for weird clients and coping with SallySingleton, the latest task-challenged new hire.
I used screenplayfeedback.ai to identify problems in the first draft of my pilot. I was told that in the teaser the main conflict could be sharpened to focus on a more specific overarching goal that will drive the series forward. I was told to also consider giving a clearer sense of the stakes involved in the hypnotist’s practice.
The Grid said this:
Conflict = disagreement, opposition, fight, or battle.
A. Create huge opposing goals with high stakes.
B. Cause high stakes goals to be challenged in a big way.
C. Give your characters opposing goals, missions, needs, traits, agendas, etc. between characters.
I already had Lilly objecting both to his hiring Sally, one of many bimbos he’s hired for the office and to his performing shows that she thinks diminishes his reputation.
I rewrote their after-show conversation to put emphasis on how important publication of the book is to Lilly. The dialogue now contrasts and emphasizes their feelings about attaining national recognition. Joshua is content with Tulsa fame, but Lilly wants much more for him and for her. Both the book and the bimbo are problems that don’t get resolved until the final episode of season one.
Feedback.ai also told me to consider adding a more personal stake for one of the main characters impacted by the scandal in the cliffhanger. The Grid suggested Intense high stakes, impossible goal or mission. How the hell are they going to accomplish that? (As if we haven’t already learned that!)
I changed two things:
Increased Timothy’s chagrin thinking Joshua will no longer be available to him or be there to give him his “Enjoying Sexuality” CD.
Had Lilly catch Quinten leaving Karma Klub and—with Kathy’s help—force him to stay and hear what Joshua has to say.
I’m not sure I like the changes as well as my first draft, but won’t make that judgment until my next feedback.
The assignment was to fix problems throughout, but all other suggested improvements AI gave me are pretty general and can only be handled by going through the whole script. So I’ll be keeping those in mind with my next drafts.
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BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 6: Problem/Solution Grid 1
Sylvia Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is…this is a great grid to help suss out problems.
The problems you solved and/or the scenes you improved, and which solution I used:
#1 Strengthened the inciting incident
# 8. A stronger cliffhanger
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Phyllis Completed Problem/Solution #1
I learned from this assignment that I can make improvements not just with the problems listed on the grid, but with the scenes that flow from making the changes.
I suspected I had weak turning points and I put my outline through ai.screenplayfeedback and that was confirmed. In all but Act 2, I had to change which scene was the turning point and improve it. And the scenes that were moved ended up at the top of the next Act, or cut completely. I love the improvements, and I also moved a scene that wasn’t working from Act 4 to Act 2, increased the stakes of the scene I moved, and ended up with a life or death situation in my Act 4 turning point. I also did some work with adding intrigue.
Overall, I have a better script and I trimmed 3 pages!
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Renee’s Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is how to look at the separate parts of your script, pull out single problems, and fix them one at a time. It is much easier to look at the big-picture items to see what isn’t working and fix them one at a time rather than trying to fix the entire script, especially if you can’t see where the issues are.
Weak Turning Points—My third-act turning point wasn’t very strong. So, I looked at the scene and found a way to add more intensity, more stakes for the protagonist, and more reaction from the protagonist at the discovery of her name in an ancient tome.
Weak Conflict – I had no stakes for the protagonist in the first draft. Now, I’ve upped the stakes for the protagonist and the world at large.
Not Enough Intrigue – since my script is a supernatural horror, I added more elements that give it more of a supernatural feel that has helped to increase the intrigue throughout the pilot.
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Pat’s Completed P/S grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is – I have to start this pilot over. Several pieces/scenes included in my outline belong in future episodes. With so many files from these lessons carrying bits and pieces and the first year arc in my head, I lost track of the specific episode plot points.
I don’t work well with beat sheets and thought I had this down but parsing out the “mystery” and “intrigue over 8 hours did me in. That full year condensed itself into one episode.
On the bright side, I get to correct the situation before it gets out of hand and come up with a more focused pilot. Just when I thought I was almost caught up to the class.
On first inspection of my script I found there isn’t enough tension in the search for a murderer and some odds and ends haven’t been addressed.
Problems found:
The time line has to be finessed.
Is vampire Vivien the first to die or the last? – set as the first known death
What is the real catalyst that pulls Selene from her building plans to deal with the deaths? What supporting character is driving the agitation? – awaiting definition in the new draft
How do we show Arthur’s bias upfront? What if we start with him trying to buy a property that Selene also wants? He could be angry that the price has gone up because of dual interest, then when Selene presents her pay-out he knows who he’s up against and this makes him determined to keep the vamps confined. Goes to motive.
When does Selene realize Arthur isn’t her friend? How does that change her approach in her business proposals? – addressed in episode 2
The Timeline/beats for Selene working with Eli needs to be corrected for police procedure and what she might have instigated on her own. – working through the new draft
Eli and Roger’s paths aren’t crossing often enough to be an issue in this episode, which dilutes their emotional value to the audience. What can Roger do that’s totally childish to interfere with Eli or embarrass him? – new draft focuses on them more
Eli and his captain – their opening salvo is weak. Eli needs to be more passive. If the captain takes his case files before Eli’s finished with the investigation this reinforces Eli’s lack of solid ground and the captain’s efforts to undermine him. He won’t be cocky until the captain interferes with Selene’s case. – rewrite coming in new draft
Why does Eli stay in the job? His career, his family is falling apart, his heart isn’t in it. What drives him? How do we show this change?
Rev Hawthorne – how does he know Arthur is his patsy? I need a reference to plying all the bankers with bribes. How do we hint at his ultimate focus without tipping the hand? -coming in later episodes.
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Assignment – Lesson 6, Module 4
Joan Macbeth’s Completed Problem/Solution Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is… Problem/Solution Grid is an excellent tool! Thank you!2. Select one thing you are going to improve right now.
Problem #4 – Structure – Do my acts work?
3. Using the “Possible Solutions,” brainstorm how you might solve or improve it.
Possible Solutions:
Isolate the Structure – List out one or two sentences for each Act to see which are weak, etc. It should tell a story and each beat should fulfill its purpose. (See Module 3, Lesson 3)The second draft is still a bit short, but not bad, at 40 pages.
Also I want to look deeper into B & C Stories.Joan Macbeth
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Barbe Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is that the Grid helped me home in on a problem that I would not have otherwise admitted to myself.
#7. Conclusion: Mystery or Impossible Goal/Mission weak
There is a lot going on in the pilot script. There’s action, intrigue, mystery and even some humor but in the end the mission pulling us on to the next episode got a bit — muddled. Sharpening the ending clarified and elevated the stakes.#14. Not enough subtext
In a first draft I am always guilty of letting the characters tell each other the story. Reviewing every line helped me at least identify where that is happening. Going forward I know exactly what needs to be fixed. -
Jerry’s Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned in doing this assignment is that, due to the great feedback I received the last round, I was able to put more emotion into the story and bring out the characters more. In doing that, I had to sacrifice some action scenes that can be used in futue episodes.
Problems found:
1. I had to work more on the Inciting incident and work harder just to introduce the fou main characters.
2. I often had weak conflct – too conversational with no conflict or tension.
4. & 9. Originally, I realized I would have to move the turning points to different acts.
7. 8, & 12. I worked on the ending to give it a cliffhanger, knowing that I will probably be criticized for the way I handled it. They will want a happy-ever-after ending, yet there is a whole series to finish. The scene is intrinsic to the following episodes, like an “inciting incident” for them. If I explained it all, or resolved it all, there might not need to be a next episode.
11. Weak transformational journey – I didn’t feel like I could completely handle this in just the pilot, and what would I have left for the future series. However, I did add some more layers and groundwork for reveals later on. The main character still has secrets tht have not been revealed in the pilot.
13. Intrigue -0 while there was some good intrigue already, I think it was still lacking and so I tried to add as much myster as possible, even concerning the main character and her motivations.
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