BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 7: Problem/Solution Grid 2

[Sunil Pappu]

Sunil Pappu Completed P/S Grid #2

“What I learned doing this assignment is… to focus on scenes and characters for each scene and solve problems using the solutions from the problem/solutions grid 2”

1. Compared outline to the scenes – made changes to include the missing elements to make it work

2. Scenes that are not intriguing – added more intrigue

3. Weak scenes – increased challenges, intrigue and conflict

4. Reveals – made them more dramatic and shocking at the worst moments

5. Cliché scenes – changes locations for a few, added interesting action and dialogue to make them fresh

I still need to reduce my script pages from 68 pages which means I need to delete some scenes and rewrite but I’m hoping it will come to me as we move along through the remaining drafts.

[Margaret]

Margaret Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned: I have taken many classes with ScreenwritingU and have heard a multitude of times to not worry about it if your first draft isn’t perfect. I even bought a coffee mug that said, “Keep Calm. It’s only the First Draft.” It wasn’t until this class that I was able to let go and not wordsmith my first draft or try to perfect every line before moving on. I learned that in my second draft, I had insights that changed a few scenes, added and deleted scenes. I saved myself a boat load of work by just letting the first draft be imperfect.

What I changed:

#2 Added forced decisions and allowed characters to say things that hurt others to increase the Empathy/Distress

#5 Found a correlation with the protagonist’s weakness and his transformation that didn’t previously exist.

#7 Changed a scene to increase the intrigue.

#8 Revised a scene to increase the strength and meaning of the scene.

9. Added a scene to challenge the characters.

[Art Blum]

What I learned is that even good characters have to have one trait that produces tension and goes against their good intentions. I also learned that I can go overboard trying to make my characters all sound different like they’re unique individuals. My psychic’s dialogue is laughable. My Hispanic guardian speaks in Spanish too much.

#6. Characters need more depth. Indigo is an instant ally of Ryan. Make her have a secret agenda. She wants to keep him from finding his medallion because it has powers that may convince him to flip and work with Hermes. Ryan needs to struggle more when he realizes he can never fit in or be a normal teen.

#8. Weak scenes: Too many flashbacks are interrupting the linear drive. I may combine the flashbacks or eliminate them so the store can unfold in a more linear way.

#11. When do I reveal what? There are so many story questions that are answered in later episodes but create confusion and need to be hinted at in the pilot.

#12 Cliché scenes: Sgt. Davenport comes off as a stereotypical military guy. Maybe soften him

[Lenore]

BWTV Module 4 – Lesson 7

Lenore Bechtel completed P/X Grid #2

What I learned about this assignment is that cutting a script creates its own set of problems. I had already cut my 79 page script to 74 pages, and I didn’t need the grid to identify the problems I created by doing that.

I had to keep things chronological and make them happen in two days rather than one. Doing so necessitated a lot of reading and re-reading, plus changing the beginning and ends of acts.

I feel that with this assignment I came up with a structurally sound script. I turned a slow scene into a quick montage and added the appropriate action and dialogue to correct the cutting problems. Also got the script down to 72 pages. I hope to cut more on second draft.

[Jeff Chase]

Jeffrey Alan Chase Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment is creating a great outline makes writing an absolute joy. I’m on my second edit of my pilot. Finding a number of things to elevate. Getting a number of new ideas to incorporate.

I’ve elevated the following. Still a work in progress:

2. Not Enough Empathy/Distress – still want to elevate my protag. It’s an interesting dilemma in that my pilot is a “traveling angel” story. My protag changes less that the people whom he meets. But I still feel I can elevate him more.

6. Characters Need More Depth – fixed a bunch of things here. Still more to do.

11. When do I Reveal What? – this is one of the big areas that I’m still refining – and having fun doing it.

[Bob Creager]

Bob Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned: It’s a step-by-step process. Take each scene, break it down, see what’s wrong with it.

1. Missed the Outline in Some Places – Went line-by-line to correct missing outline points.

10. Expositions Instead of Reveals – Used AI to search for scenes with exposition.

[Sylvia Krawczyk]

BWTV-AI Module 4 – Lesson 7: Problem/Solution Grid 2

Sylvia Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment is…I hadn’t introduced all the characters with who they were in the story. The grid helped point that out.

The problems you solved and/or the scenes you improved, and which solution you used:

#3. Character Intros not Strong

[Denice Lewis]

Denice Completed P/S Grid #2
What I learned doing this assignment is. I’m grateful for these grids. They condense a lot of information in a short amount of space allowing the ideas to flow easier. and faster.

I checked each of the index entries with my script. I realized I needed the following:

1. More empathy/distress with the interactions between my main characters. This allowed

   me to quickly fill in more since my script is short and added about five pages of junk

   dialogue. I continued anyway.

2. I added more interesting introductions to the secondary characters.

3. I strengthened the conflict in weaker scenes by adding more emotion.

4. I feel there is still more I can do with the school scenes, but need to leave them for the

   dialogue lesson.

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis Completed P/S Grid 2

I learned from this assignment that it was helpful to go through the scenes in my pilot to look for weak scenes, exposition instead of reveals, and situations that don’t challenge characters.

For weak scenes, I increased conflict and focused on intrigue.

For exposition instead of reveals, I made the reveals either more emotional, through a betrayal, and at the worst moment.

For situations that don’t challenge characters, I challenged a value and a wound.

[Renee Miller]

Renee Completed P/S Grid #2

What I learned doing this assignment is how to look at each scene for enhancement rather than trying to make changes based on the entirety of the script. It is much easier to evaluate each scene and look for improvements that will enhance the overall story and script.

After going through the grid I realized I needed to work on the following:

Character intros not strong

scenes were not as intriguing as they could be

Not enough empathy and distress for the characters.

[Barbe LaPierre]

Barbe Completed P/S Grid #2
What I learned doing this assignment is that honesty is the best approach. Using the grid helped me look at the draft with open eyes and discover a couple of potential weak spots.
What I concentrated on:
#6. Characters Need More Depth
One character in particular was not written clearly. She has secrets and a hidden agenda and a wound but as originally written everything was out of focus. Taking another look and improving the subtext and the dialogue sharpened her message.
#12. Cliché Scenes, Actions, or Dialogue
Still focusing on my character Dr. Ilyana Darrow, I improved her message by improving her dialogue. Going forward I will apply the same scrutiny to all the other characters.

[Jerry Robbins]

JR Completed P/S Grid # 2
What I learned doing this assignment was that I needed to bring out more character in my writing and less trying just to do action scenes. I knew from my outline feedback that I was doing this, so when I fast wrote the script I concentrated on bringing out the characters. adding some backstory to many, even if it was short. ( I did the teaser and act 1, then did not have any time to write for two full weeks because of 80 hour plus workweeks, so to catch up, I wrote nonstop for 10 hours and completed the rest of the script. The next day I read through it and corrected errors and storyline and on the second read worked almost exclusively on characters.
Problems/Solutions
1. Missed the outline in some places – I had a lot of action that might be better done in later episodes when the tension has built up and people know the characters better.
5. & 6. Weak protagonist or antagonist – It was commented on that my protagonist was not proactive. Since this was the beginning, the main character is reacting to the initial situation. I tried to put in more conflict, subtext and hints that even she is hiding secrets just like all the others, leaving open the exact answers. In the end, she is betrayed by several characters that she has started to trust, which creates more emphathy for her. Likewise, I had not brought out the protagonist well in the outline, and it was still up in the air, so I worked on putting that on the shoulders of one character in particular who is also a stronger character.
7. Scenes that are not that intriguing – I worked on each scene to make it more intriguing.
12. Cliche Scenes, Actions, or Dialogue – While I might not have had cliches in the beginning, some of the scenes were too bland and without bringing out the characterization, it was more telling than showing, so I worked on correcting that.