• Creative Mastery 1: Double Your Quality

  CJ Puts Essence to Work

  Posted by CJ Knapp on March 16, 2021 at 1:24 pm

  CJ Puts Essence to Work

  WIL: That I need a page one rewrite – and am excited to see the new possibilities and bring this to life – the Pilot has felt – contrived and lifeless – now I see so much more potential.

  Script I choose: My TV Series: VIRTUES

  Scene 1 Location: Teaser
  Logline: Isis bans Mammon to eternal life locked in a cave.
  Essence I’ve discovered: Needed to get to the point of the teaser sooner.
  New Logline: Isis bans Mammon but left it as an open loop to discover why later

  Scene 2 Location: Act 1
  Logline: Zee discovers clues to a cave
  Essence I’ve discovered: Need to rewrite with Zee in the world where the story takes place – NYC
  New Logline: Zee is a curator at a museum in NYC and receives a shipment of Egyptian artifacts – including Isis artifacts which connects her to her dreams

  Scene 3 Location: Act 2
  Logline: The Desert Father’s want Zee away from the dig site so she won’t know she’s Isis and release Mammon.
  Essence I’ve discovered: That to build Zee’s credibility she needs to establish her world and expertise at the museum.
  New Logline: Zee connects to the Isis artifacts and begins to dream of ancient Egypt.

  Scene 4 Location: Act 3
  Logline: Zee find and enters the cave of Mammon releasing him onto the world.
  Essence I’ve discovered: Need to start with Mammon in NYC for Zee to become his adversary. (Start late into the scene!)
  New Logline: Zee’s Father releases Mammon – as his servant. Not realizing that Zee is Isis.

  Scene 5 Location: Act 4
  Logline: Zee is confronted by the Egyptian Police and the Desert Fathers and warned to leave Egypt.
  Essence I’ve discovered: That the controversy should take place in NYC. The age of the Desert Fathers should be revealed not told!
  New Logline: Zee reluctantly agrees to examine some ancient artifact as a way to coerce her to go to the NYC Desert Father sanctuary.

  Scene 6 Location: Act 5
  Logline: Zee meets the Virtues, and they bestow gifts on her.
  Essence I’ve discovered: Too much – make each introduction a matter of life-or-death urgency.
  New Logline: Zee meets her first Virtue who is under attack by Mammon – she bestows her gift to Zee to keep it out of the hands of Mammon.

  CJ Knapp replied 4 years, 1 month ago 1 Member · 0 Replies
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