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Day 1 Assignment
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11 Replies
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Jodi’s Anticipation Scene – Day 1
Doing this exercise helped me see that by building suspense, curiosity, hooks, emotional descriptions, and anticipatory dialogue, the reader gets caught up in the story, and if the story flattens a bit as long as you quickly build more intrigue the reader feels compelled to keep ‘turning the pages’. And I will take from Hal’s example and say it is very clear how twists keep the interest to find out more of the story, of what is going to happen next.
SCRIPT: FLETCH
BACKGROUND: Chevy Chase plays “Fletch”.
Fletch is an Investigative Reporter. This is the opening scene, so I’m assuming he is posing as a druggie with a dealer named Sam. After reading the first five pages, and the last line especially, I immediately put it on my ‘to see’ list.FADE IN:
EXT. CALIFORNIA BEACH - DAY
Seagulls squawk, and the waves pound, but we’re not talking about Malibu Colony, here. This is a fairly rundown beach area, catering to lower-echelon surfers, vagrants, and strung out druggies of all ages, several of whom stand or sit on their haunches by a dilapidated old hamburger stand. Over the stand is a faded sign: "FAT SAM’S HAMBURGERS".
A simple but haunting electronic melody plays in the b.g.
Note: This is a nice visual description
INT. "FAT SAM’S" - DAY
Seated just inside the stand on a folding aluminum chair is a chubby man in his late thirties. He’s wearing a stained valour sweat suit and a cap. This is Fat Sam. He’s a dealer. Seated on the sand next to him is Fletch, a rangy man, early thirties, in jeans and a Magic Johnson T-shirt, nodding idly on a battered Casio music machine which he treats lovingly. This is the source of the title music.
Note: This emotional description shows Fletch’s attachment to his Casio and music, which is probably the most uplifting and nice thing Fletch is experiencing here as most people roaming around are druggies.
FLETCH
So what do you figure?
FAT SAM
No idea.
FLETCH
No idea at all?
FAT SAM
Okay. Some idea.
FLETCH
Like when?
FAT SAM
Like tonight.
FLETCH
For sure?
FAT SAM
No, not for sure. When it comes, it
comes. You gonna want some shit?
FLETCH
I think I’d rather have drugs.
FAT SAM
(shakes head and smiles)
Fletch...
FLETCH
Sorry. I find a little humor really
brightens things up around here,
don’t you?
Note: The dialogue is anticipatory and suspenseful. I wonder what they are talking about. Drugs? When what comes? That has me hooked. Is Sam a good guy or a Dealer? This hook makes me wonder what: uncertainty.
A young junkie with a black eye – Gummy – passes.
GUMMY
Hi Sam. Hi Fletch.
FLETCH
Hi Gummy. How’s the eye?
GUMMY
It’s okay. The cops did it.
FLETCH
I know.
GUMMY
They busted me last week.
FLETCH
They bust you every week.
GUMMY
I know. I got bad luck or something.
Gummy exits. Fletch and Fat Sam watch him go.
FLETCH
That kid spends any more time in
jail he’ll have to start paying rent.
WIDER ANGLE THROUGH BINOCULARS
Fat Sam and Fletch conclude their conversation. Fletch walks back among the drifters, the nervous, expectant junkies. He stops to talk to a young man propped up on his elbows on a towel. Creasy.
Note: Who’s watching Fletch and why? Suspensful.
CREASY AND FLETCH
FLETCH
Maybe tonight?
CREASY
Whaddyamean 'maybe'?
FLETCH
That's what he said.
CREASY
(getting desperate)
He doesn't know? How come he doesn't
know?
Note: This peaks my curiosity; How come he doesn’t know what? It hooks me to find out what he doesn’t know.
FLETCH
I don't know how he doesn't know. He
doesn't know.
CREASY
Sonofabitch.
FLETCH
Wonder who his supplier is.
CREASY
I have no idea.
FLETCH
I wasn't asking.
CREASY
He never leaves the beach, Fat Sam.
Never leaves. Sits in that chair,
he's outta junk. Then he suddenly
gets up, he's got junk. So where
does it come from? Through the sand?
Note: It is curious why Fat Sam doesn’t leave the beach. How does he get his drugs? I want to know more.
FLETCH
I think that's highly unlikely,
Creasy.
CREASY
(rolls over)
I ought to get some sleep.
FLETCH
Creasy, how old are you?
CREASY
Nineteen.
FLETCH
(a touch of sadness)
You're not taking real good care of
yourself.
WIDER - BINOCULARS AGAIN
Fletch takes his Casio and starts off the beach. The binocular angle follows him. A pelican crosses the water. The binoculars move off Fletch and follows the flight of the pelican as it swoops low over the ocean.
Note: Who continues to watch Fletch and why? It is suspenseful. Is Fletch a target of some sort? Is he being investigated? Did one of his investigations lead to danger and trouble for Fletch? The uncertainty creates a curiosity hook.
BEACH PARKING LOT - DAY
Fletch emerges into view, walking towards camera, when a Man steps into the immediate f.g., the binoculars at his side large in frame. Fletch stops.
Note: Very suspenseful and anticipatory. Now we have someone watching him with binoculars and another person approaching him. Are the two working together? Or is Fletch in double trouble?
MAN
Excuse me. I have something I'd like
to discuss with you.
FLETCH
What?
REVERSE
A trim man of approximately Fletch's age, wearing a perfectly tailored grey suit, is standing across from Fletch. This is Alan Stanwyk.
STANWYK
We can't talk about it here.
MASTER
FLETCH
Why not?
Note: Is Fletch in danger? Why does Stanwyk want to take him out of public viewing? This continues to be suspenseful, with future anticipatory dialogue. Ah, the uncertainty of it all.
STANWYK
Because we can't.
FLETCH
Are you on a scavenger hunt of some
kind?
Note: Fletch must be nervous at this point because his dialogue changes to defensive and deflecting. Keeping his guard up. Which means Fletch senses danger with this encounter. Most of the following dialogue of Fletch’s is definitely ‘written with attitude’.
STANWYK
I want you to come to my house. Then
we'll talk.
FLETCH
I think you've got the wrong gal,
fella.
STANWYK
I'll give you a thousand dollars
cash just to come to my house and
listen to the proposition. If you
reject the proposition, you keep the
thousand, and your mouth shut.
Note: Why would someone give a stranger a thousand dollars just to go to a stranger’s home? This can’t go well. It is suspenseful, and I’m hooked again to see what the exchange could be? The following is mostly filled with Fletch’s defensive retorts; written with attitude.
FLETCH
Will this proposition entail my
dressing up as Tina Turner?
STANWYK
(unsmiling, all
business)
It is nothing of a sexual nature I
assure you.
(Takes a thousand in
cash from his pocket)
One thousand, just to listen. I don't
see how you could turn that down
Mr...
FLETCH
Nugent. Ted Nugent.
STANWYK
(shakes his hand)
Alan Stanwyk.
FLETCH
Charmed.
EXT. BERMAN STREET - BEVERLY HILLS - DAY
A Jaguar XJ sedan goes up Berman Street, a dead end. Fletch's hand reaches out of the passenger window and empties sand out of a sneaker.
INT. JAGUAR - DAY
FLETCH
I always liked this part of town.
EXT. BERMAN STREET - DAY
The Jaguar continues on up Berman Street, stopping before massive iron gates marked PRIVATE PROPERTY -- NO TRESPASSING -- STANWYK. The gates open electronically.
Note: Very suspenseful. How will Fletch escape from this massive home behind iron gates. He has no idea what awaits him inside, or even just outside behind the gates for that matter. It leads to worry and uncertainty for Fletch.
EXT. STANWYK HOUSE - DAY
The jaguar goes up the center of the drive toward a white-pillared mansion. The lawns and planting are spectacular.
INT. JAGUAR - DAY
Fletch stares out the window.
FLETCH
What a coincidence.
Note: A smartass defensive mechanism going into overdrive. It does create a stronger hook, more suspense and greater curiosity knowing Fletch is really scared. More writing with attitude in the following lines.
The car stops before the house.
STANWYK
What?
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
As they get out of the car.
FLETCH
I came this close...
(holds fingers slightly
apart)
...to buying this place
Stanwyk ignores Fletch and starts toward the house. Fletch follows.
FLETCH
Then I found out Hopalong Cassidy
had shot himself in the game room.
That just blew it for me.
STANWYK
Who?
FLETCH
Hopalong Cassidy. Killed himself
here. Bow and arrow. Strange.
Stanwyk stops before the front door, stares at Fletch
STANWYK
What are you, doped up or something?
Fletch abruptly changes gears, stares at Stanwyk
FLETCH
I don't work for you yet, assface.
Don't talk to me like that.
Note: Fletch has an emotional hook assumption along with his defensive dialogue.
STANWYK
(after a beat)
Come inside.
INT. HOUSE - DAY
Stanwyk and Fletch enter. A Mexican Maid crosses.
STANWYK
Buenas dias.
MAID
Buenas dias.
She disappears.
FLETCH
I commend you on your Spanish.
Stanwyk doesn't reply, keeps on walking. He opens a set double doors to the left of the winding staircase, then stands to one side, indicating that Fletch should enter.
INT. LIBRARY - DAY
Massive fireplace. Everything built in teak. Fletch enters, and Stanwyk closes the door behind them.
FLETCH
Ahh, the library. Masculine but
sensitive.
Stanwyk wordlessly goes behind the desk
FLETCH
Really, I love what you've done with
the place. Must have cost you...
hundreds.
Stanwyk turns, looks out a pair of French doors behind his desk, then turns back.
STANWYK
Here's my proposition, Mr. Nugent.
FLETCH
I'm all ears.
STANWYK
I want you to murder me.
Note: It came in a little after page 5 so I ended here.
This is major suspense. What? He wants Fletch to murder him? Is Fletch being set up? What is this game? He explains later he has cancer, but Fletch sees that he is perfectly healthy, so could he be lying to Fletch? It is a great anticipatory line, it couldn’t get more suspenseful than that one simple line. It creates a great amount of uncertainty for Fletch’s well being, and I worry about the consequences for Fletch if he takes Stanwyk up on his offer. Is Fletch being framed?
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I chose Bonfire of the Vanities despite its contemporary political incorrectness, it has the stunning jewel opening, overview of Manhattan, and dethroning the rich guys who fall into salmon mousse or reveal their egregious flaws such as sloth, greed, marital infidelity, and always–lying. I like words like “black diamonds spilling into peripheral vision,” “frantic ballet,”
and Judy the fashionable UES woman who abuses exercise because of perfectionism and anorexia. There is a visceral energy that captures NYC and a sense of the aerial views zooming in and out of well-placed symbolic objects such as the kaleidoscopic jewel box and the personification of Sherman the dog. These stereotypes won’t work now but the strong, shotgun boldness of the cinematic writing that adapts a popular novel based on the reality of Wall Street at this time is something to emulate as I struggle to adapt three New York novels to the screen. Glittering, shining, and speeding is what I must do with my elderly brain until I get to the neurodegenerative diseases near the end. Perhaps this energy is more for my second novel, Come to Magnificent Metamorphic Manhattan.
ST MOTION — a kaleidoscopic jewel box —
glittering, shining and speeding PAST our eyes.
2 ANGLE 2
MOVING south TO north FROM the Battery and the World
Trade Center, streets and buildings FLIPPING PAST like
black diamonds spilling INTO our peripheral vision and
DISAPPEARING as we SPEED uptown TOWARD…
3 FIFTH AVENUE – NIGHT 3
Cars and people caught in the same frantic ballet of
shining lights as we RACE UP the avenue, and the voice
of Peter Fallow speaks to us…
PETER (V.O.)
Yes. We’re getting closer. Can
you feel it. Can you see it?
The heat. The brilliance. Moving
fast into the heart of it. Buzz.
Buzz. Can you feel the buzz? The
city is pulling you in. The city
of light. The city of diabolical
promise. The city of answered
prayers.
4 OMITTED 4
thru thru
11 11
A11A EXT. STREET – LIMOUSINE – NIGHT A11A
pulls up to the World Financial Center and drives into
the lower garage.
A11B INT. LOADING AREA – LIMOUSINE – NIGHT A11B
pulls up. A male and female aide — both carrying
walkie-talkies — rush to open the door. They pry PETER
FALLOW from the back seat. He is wearing a tuxedo and
dark glasses. He is very drunk, disheveled and cheerful
beyond his means. CONTINUE IN ONE SHOT as…
TWO AIDES
try to lead Fallow into the building. Fallow is clutching a whiskey decanter and a seltzer bottle. He leans
heavily on the aides, stumbles and can barely stay on his
feet.
(CONTINUED)
)T( BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 5/25/90 2. *
A11B CONTINUED: A11B
MINI CART
approaches. The aides flag it down and throw Fallow onto
the cart. The cart carries him past the garbage container into a long tunnel-like corridor.
FALLOW
sways on the cart, trying to mix a drink for himself —
he pulls a glass out of one pocket and some ice cubes out
of another pocket. But he is physically incompetent.
FEMALE AIDE
jumps onto the cart and tries to hold him up. The male
aide runs alongside the cart.
VARIOUS WAITERS
in black tie carry covered silver trays as they trot
through the tunnel.
VARIOUS BUSBOYS
come running in the other way, pushing carts filled with
dirty dishes and glasses.
CART
comes to the end of the tunnel and jerks to a halt.
Fallow loses his balance and sprays the female aide with
soda water.
MALE AIDE
pulls Fallow off the cart and continues to lead him
through a dark, red-lit area. Several security guards
run to meet them. The guards and the aide now escort
Fallow through the area.
A FEW PHOTOGRAPHERS
pop out of nowhere, trying to get a picture. The guards
push them away and lead Fallow into a lighted corridor.
FOREIGN DIPLOMAT
and his wife and daughter join the entourage as they head
for an elevator. The diplomat offers Fallow a pen and a
book to autograph.
Fallow misses the pen and falls face down into the
breasts of the diplomat’s daughter. The guards pull him
into the elevator.
(CONTINUED)MINI CART
approaches. The aides flag it down and throw Fallow onto
the cart. The cart carries him past the garbage container into a long tunnel-like corridor.
FALLOW
sways on the cart, trying to mix a drink for himself —
he pulls a glass out of one pocket and some ice cubes out
of another pocket. But he is physically incompetent.
FEMALE AIDE
jumps onto the cart and tries to hold him up. The male
aide runs alongside the cart.
VARIOUS WAITERS
in black tie carry covered silver trays as they trot
through the tunnel.
VARIOUS BUSBOYS
come running in the other way, pushing carts filled with
dirty dishes and glasses.
CART
comes to the end of the tunnel and jerks to a halt.
Fallow loses his balance and sprays the female aide with
soda water.
MALE AIDE
pulls Fallow off the cart and continues to lead him
through a dark, red-lit area. Several security guards
run to meet them. The guards and the aide now escort
Fallow through the area.
A FEW PHOTOGRAPHERS
pop out of nowhere, trying to get a picture. The guards
push them away and lead Fallow into a lighted corridor.
FOREIGN DIPLOMAT
and his wife and daughter join the entourage as they head
for an elevator. The diplomat offers Fallow a pen and a
book to autograph.
Fallow misses the pen and falls face down into the
breasts of the diplomat’s daughter. The guards pull him
into the elevator.
(CONTINUED)
)T( BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 5/25/90 3. *
A11B CONTINUED: (2) A11B
CART OF FOOD
is in the elevator — a tray of salmon mousse in the
shape of a three-foot salmon. The elevator starts to
move. Fallow falls into the mousse. The aide pulls him
up and tries to clean him off.
ELEVATOR DOORS
open. Fallow is led out of the elevator. Several other
aides approach him and pull off his soiled jacket and
shirt and change them for fresh ones as they move.
SOME BROADWAY AUTOGRAPH HOUNDS
rush Fallow, snapping pictures with little Instamatics
and trying to get an autograph.
FALLOW
is led through the corridor and into…
WINTERGARDEN
A ten story glass atrium. A black tie party. A sixtyfoot banner with Fallow’s name on it. Wild applause.
But before Fallow can get his bearings…
WALL OF FLASHING CAMERAS
obliterate the view. Fallow staggers, clutching his head
and we…
DISSOLVE TO:
11A EXT. PARK AVE. APARTMENT – SKYLIGHT – EVENING 11A
THROUGH the skylight we can see Sherman McCoy on his
hands and knees on the green marble foyer of this lavish
apartment chasing the family dachshund, trying to attach
a leash.
PETER (V.O.)
… And it begins on a rainy
night, only a few months ago.
SHERMAN
Come on, Marshall. Come here.
Stay. Come on. Stay.
12 INT. McCOY APARTMENT – SHERMAN – EVENING 12
The dog escapes. Sherman smacks his perfect WASP knee
on the perfect marble floor.
(CONTINUED)
)T( BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 5/25/90 3A.
12 CONTINUED: 12
PETER (V.O.)
Our hero, Sherman McCoy, was about
to make a simple phone call. And
despite the existence of eleven
telephones and seven different
lines in the fourteen rooms of his
six million dollar plus apartment,
this was a phone call he could not
make at home.
JUDY (O.S.)
What on earth are you doing?
13 ANGLE – JUDY McCOY 13
standing over Sherman, who continues to struggle with
the dog.
(CONTINUED)
BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 4/18/90 4.
13 CONTINUED: 13
SHERMAN
I am taking the dog for a walk.
JUDY
You are not taking the dog for a
walk. You are taking ‘Marshall’
for a walk. Marshall has a name.
He is one of our family. And,
anyway, it’s raining.
SHERMAN
I know that.
The DOG GROWLS and snaps at Sherman.
JUDY
So does Marshall. I don’t think
he wants to go. Do you, Marshall? *
SHERMAN
Judy…
JUDY
Alright. Alright.
Sherman gets the leash fastened. He stands up, pulls
on a rubberized British riding mac. Judy flicks a tiny
plastic bag out of a cleverly-concealed container and
hands it to Sherman.
JUDY
Have a nice time.
14 OMITTED 14
& &
15 15
15A INT. McCOY APARTMENT BUILDING – LOBBY – SHERMAN – NIGHT 15A
pulls Marshall out of the elevator. MARSHALL SQUEALS and
drags his nails across the lobby, trying desperately to
avoid this walk.
DOORMAN
He don’t look too happy about it,
Mr. McCoy.
SHERMAN
Neither am I, Bill.
(CONTINUED)
5. *
15A CONTINUED: 15A
DOORMAN
Tony, sir. My name is Tony.
SHERMAN
Yes, of course. Come on, Marshall.
15B EXT. APT. BUILDING – SHERMAN – NIGHT 15B
is dragging Marshall out of the building as a limo pulls
up and the immaculately-dressed POLLARD BROWNING gets
out. He looks at Sherman, Sherman’s clothes and Sherman’s
dog. He doesn’t approve. As they pass each other under
the awning…
POLLARD
Hello, Sherman.
SHERMAN
Good evening, Pollard.
POLLARD
You know it’s raining, don’t you?
SHERMAN
Yes. As a matter of fact, I did
notice.
POLLARD
Ah, Sherman. A true friend to
man’s best friend.
SHERMAN
Pollard, you old phrase-maker.
POLLARD
I beg your pardon.
SHERMAN
I mean, is that the best you can
do? Is that as witty as we get?
As Pollard enters the building and Sherman drags Marshall
away…
POLLARD
I don’t know what you’re talking
about. And furthermore, if you
plan on being wet when you return,
I suggest you take the service
elevator.
16 ANGLE – PHONE BOOTH 16
Sherman drags Marshall to the phone.
(CONTINUED)
6.
16 CONTINUED: 16
They are both
already soaking wet. Sherman dials a number. A woman
answers.
WOMAN (V.O.)
(on phone)
Hello?
SHERMAN
Maria! Hello. It’s me.
WOMAN (V.O.)
Who?
SHERMAN
Oh. Sorry. May I speak to Maria?
WOMAN (V.O.)
Who is this?
SHERMAN
Maria?
Brief pause, then…
WOMAN (V.O.)
Sherman?
Sherman is about to say “yes” when he catches himself.
CUT TO:
17 INT. McCOY APARTMENT – JUDY – NIGHT 17
is on the phone.
JUDY
Sherman, is that you?
18 EXT. PHONE BOOTH – SHERMAN – NIGHT 18
realizes what he’s done. He freezes. Then he hangs up.
SHERMAN
Jesus!
19 INT. McCOY APARTMENT – JUDY – NIGHT 19
looks at the phone, then puts it down.
CUT TO:
20 EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING – SHERMAN – NIGHT 20
is dragging Marshal back into the building.
7.
21 INT. McCOY BEDROOM – JUDY – NIGHT 21
is on her exercise bike, pedaling furiously. She can
hear Sherman coming into the apartment.
SHERMAN (O.S.)
Well, we’re back!
22 ANGLE – DOG 22
comes scampering into the bedroom followed by Sherman.
SHERMAN
Well, you were right. I got
soaking wet and Marshall didn’t do
anything.
He heads for the bathroom, grabs a towel.
JUDY
Sherman, if you want to talk to
somebody named Maria, why do you
call me instead?
Sherman pokes his head into the room.
SHERMAN
If I what? Whatever do you mean?
JUDY
Please don’t lie. It makes your *
forehead crinkle. *
SHERMAN
About what? Wait a minute. What
are we talking about?
JUDY
You should see your face. It’s a *
veritable roadmap of tension and *
deceit. *
SHERMAN
I’m sorry, but I don’t get it.
Have I missed something?
JUDY
Darling, the only thing you’re *
missing is common sense. You’re *
going to stand there and tell me
you didn’t call here and ask to
speak to some Maria?
SHERMAN
Who?
(CONTINUED)
8.
22 CONTINUED: 22
JUDY
You think I don’t know your voice?
SHERMAN
Judy, I was out walking the dog.
I was not on the telephone.
JUDY
Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle. *
SHERMAN
I’m not lying. I took Marshal for
a walk, and I come back in here
and wham — I mean I hardly know
what to say. You’re asking me to
prove a negative proposition.
JUDY
‘Negative proposition’?! Oh, God,
Sherman. Listen to the way I
sound. Listen to the stress. Can *
you hear it? I don’t want to be *
this person. I don’t. I am thin.
I am beautiful. I don’t deserve
this.
She gets off the bike, grabs a robe and heads for the
door.
SHERMAN
Judy…
JUDY
There’s the phone. Why don’t you
just call her from here? I don’t
care. I really don’t care. You
are cheap and rotten and a liar, *
and you are dripping on the *
Aubusson carpet. *
She goes. Sherman collapses in a chair. He looks at
the phone.
PETER (V.O.)
She was right, of course. And
Sherman knew it. Christ. How
could he have been so stupid? A
simple phone call…
DISSOLVE TO:
23 INT. McCOY APARTMENT – CAMPBELL McCOY – DAY 23
is running through the apartment toward the front door.
She is seven years old.
9.
24 ANGLE – SHERMAN 24
descending the five-foot wide walnut staircase that leads
from the second floor to the marble foyer. In this view,
we can see that Sherman McCoy — like his surroundings —
is impeccably designed and dressed.
PETER (V.O.)
The next morning, Judy’s words
were still ringing in his ears.
Cheap. Rotten. And a liar.
Alright. But was it really his
fault. In a way she had brought
it on herself, hadn’t she?
He intercepts Campbell at the foot of the stairs.
SHERMAN
Campbell, honey. Are we ready?
CAMPBELL
I’m out of here.
SHERMAN
Slow down. Where’s your mother?
JUDY (O.S.)
Campbell!
CAMPBELL
She’s crying on the lifecycle.
PETER (V.O.)
On the lifecycle again. You see?
Like all those other women she
spends so much time with. So
drawn, so pale. You could see
lamplight through their bones…
As Sherman picks up his briefcase and a copy of the
newspaper, Campbell opens the door and rings for the
elevator.
25 ANGLE – JUDY 25
approaches them looking pale and thin and drawn, dressed
in exercise clothes, sweating and still crying. She
looks like she’s spent a sleepless night.
JUDY
She won’t kiss me because I’m all
wet.
SHERMAN
Campbell, kiss your mother.
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Amy’s’ Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is you can make a script an exciting read just by the way you write the descriptions.
Movie: Bonfire of the Vanities
The script creates anticipation by using very vivid and descriptive language. It also moves very fast from one location to another and things are happening very quickly. Another thing that keeps you reading is you want to know who the character is. He’s obviously someone famous. You also want to know what’s going to happen to him. That question never gets answered in this scene, so naturally, you want to keep reading, but the next scene is something totally different, so the question still isn’t answered and you keep reading.
Rev. 5/25/90 *
BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES
FADE IN:
1 EXT. MANHATTAN SKYLINE – NIGHT 1
MOVING IN FAST MOTION — a kaleidoscopic jewel box — glittering, shining and speeding PAST our eyes.
2 ANGLE 2
MOVING south TO north FROM the Battery and the World Trade Center, streets and buildings FLIPPING PAST like black diamonds spilling INTO our peripheral vision and DISAPPEARING as we SPEED uptown TOWARD…
3 FIFTH AVENUE – NIGHT 3
Cars and people caught in the same frantic ballet of shining lights as we RACE UP the avenue, and the voice of Peter Fallow speaks to us…
PETER (V.O.)
Yes. We’re getting closer. Can you feel it. Can you see it? The heat. The brilliance. Moving fast into the heart of it. Buzz. Buzz. Can you feel the buzz? The city is pulling you in. The city of light. The city of diabolical promise. The city of answered prayers.
4 OMITTED 4
thru thru
11 11
A11A EXT. STREET – LIMOUSINE – NIGHT A11A
pulls up to the World Financial Center and drives into the lower garage.
A11B INT. LOADING AREA – LIMOUSINE – NIGHT A11B
pulls up. A male and female aide — both carrying walkie-talkies — rush to open the door. They pry PETER
FALLOW from the back seat. He is wearing a tuxedo and dark glasses. He is very drunk, disheveled and cheerful beyond his means. CONTINUE IN ONE SHOT as…
TWO AIDES
try to lead Fallow into the building. Fallow is clutching a whiskey decanter and a seltzer bottle. He leans
heavily on the aides, stumbles and can barely stay on his feet.
(CONTINUED)
)T( BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 5/25/90 2. *
A11B CONTINUED: A11B
MINI CART
approaches. The aides flag it down and throw Fallow onto the cart. The cart carries him past the garbage container into a long tunnel-like corridor.
FALLOW
sways on the cart, trying to mix a drink for himself — he pulls a glass out of one pocket and some ice cubes out of another pocket. But he is physically incompetent.
FEMALE AIDE
jumps onto the cart and tries to hold him up. The male aide runs alongside the cart.
VARIOUS WAITERS
in black tie carry covered silver trays as they trot through the tunnel.
VARIOUS BUSBOYS
come running in the other way, pushing carts filled with dirty dishes and glasses.
CART
comes to the end of the tunnel and jerks to a halt. Fallow loses his balance and sprays the female aide with soda water.
MALE AIDE
pulls Fallow off the cart and continues to lead him through a dark, red-lit area. Several security guards
run to meet them. The guards and the aide now escort Fallow through the area.
A FEW PHOTOGRAPHERS
pop out of nowhere, trying to get a picture. The guards push them away and lead Fallow into a lighted corridor.
FOREIGN DIPLOMAT
and his wife and daughter join the entourage as they head for an elevator. The diplomat offers Fallow a pen and a book to autograph. Fallow misses the pen and falls face down into the breasts of the diplomat’s daughter. The guards pull him into the elevator.
(CONTINUED)
)T( BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES – Rev. 5/25/90 3. *
A11B CONTINUED: (2) A11B
CART OF FOOD
is in the elevator — a tray of salmon mousse in the shape of a three-foot salmon. The elevator starts to
move. Fallow falls into the mousse. The aide pulls him up and tries to clean him off.
ELEVATOR DOORS
open. Fallow is led out of the elevator. Several other aides approach him and pull off his soiled jacket and shirt and change them for fresh ones as they move.
SOME BROADWAY AUTOGRAPH HOUNDS
rush Fallow, snapping pictures with little Instamatics and trying to get an autograph.
FALLOW
is led through the corridor and into…
WINTERGARDEN
A ten story glass atrium. A black tie party. A sixtyfoot banner with Fallow’s name on it. Wild applause.
But before Fallow can get his bearings…
WALL OF FLASHING CAMERAS
obliterate the view. Fallow staggers, clutching his head and we…
DISSOLVE TO:
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PS80 DAY 1 BOB SMITH’S ANTICIPATION SCENE
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
A: Study the masters to learn the devices that create great screenplays and the ever-needed page-turning techniques.
FADE IN:
INSERT – A revolving globe. When it stops revolving it turnsbriefly into a contour map of Europe, then into a flat map.Superimposed over this map are scenes of refugees fleeing from all sections of Europe by foot, wagon, auto, and boat, and allconverging upon one point on the tip of Africa — Casablanca.Arrows on the map illustrate the routes taken as the voice of a NARRATOR describes the migration.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
With the coming of the Second World War, many eyes in imprisoned Europe turned hopefully, or desperately, toward the freedom of the Americas. Lisbon became the great embarkation point. But not everybody could get to Lisbon directly, and so, a tortuous, roundabout refugee trail sprang up. Paris to Marseilles, across the Mediterranean to Oran, then by train, or auto, or foot, across the rim of Africa to Casablanca in French Morocco. Here, the fortunate ones, through money, or influence, or luck, might obtain exit visas and scurry to Lisbon, and from Lisbon to the New World. But the others wait in Casablanca — and wait — and wait — and wait.
NOTE: The introduction sets the context of refugees yearning for freedom as they escape Nazi tyranny. We anticipate struggle in a context of danger from advancing Nazism upon innocent and vulnerabile freedom-seeking refugees.
The narrator’s voice fade away…
CUT TO:
EXT. OLD MOORISH SECTION OF THE CITY – DAY
At first only the turrets and rooftops are visible againsta torrid sky.The facades of the Moorish buildings give way to a narrow, twisting street crowded with the polyglot life of a native quarter. The intense desert sun holds the scene in a torpid tranquility. Activity is unhurried and sounds are muted.
NOTE: A destination of uncertainty sets an anticipation of uncertainty
CUT TO:
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
A POLICE OFFICER takes a piece of paper from the typewriter,turns to a microphone, and reads.
2.
POLICE OFFICER
To all officers! Two German couriers carrying important official documents murdered on train from Oran. Murderer and possible accomplices headed for Casablanca. Round up all suspicious characters and search them for stolen documents. Important!
NOTE: A destination of intrigue and danger is anticipated. A crime has been committed but by whom?
CUT TO:
EXT. A STREET IN THE OLD MOORISH SECTION – DAY
An officer BLOWS his whistle several times.
There is pandemonium as native guards begin to round up people.
A police car, full of officers, with SIREN BLARING, screamsthrough the street and stops in the market.
Some try to escape but are caught by the police and loaded into a police wagon.
At a street corner TWO POLICEMEN stop a white CIVILIAN andquestion him.
FIRST POLICEMAN
May we see your papers?
CIVILIAN
(nervously)
I don’t think I have them on me.
FIRST POLICEMAN
In that case, we’ll have to ask you to come along.
The civilian pats his pockets.
CIVILIAN
Wait. It’s just possible that I… Yes, here they are.
He brings out his papers. The second policeman examines them.
SECOND POLICEMAN
These papers expired three weeks ago. You’ll have to come along.
Suddenly the civilian breaks away and starts to run wildly down the street. The policeman SHOUTS “Halt”, but the civilian keeps going.JAN and ANNINA BRANDEL, a very young and attractive refugee couple from Bulgaria, watch as the civilian passes. They’vebeen thrust by circumstances from a simple country life into an unfamiliar and hectic world. A shot RINGS out, and the man falls to the ground.
Above him, painted on the wall, is a large poster of MarshalPetain, which reads: “Je tiens mes promesses, meme cellesdes autres.”The policeman frantically searches the body, but only finds Free French literature.
NOTE: In addition to advancing Nazi tyranny there is also the danger faced by refugees from the local despotism of the authorities in “occupied French territory.” Anticipation raises the necessary question: Is there no hope for the innocent refugees?
CUT TO:
EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
We see an inscription carved in a marble block along the roof line of the building: “Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite” We see the the facade, French in architecture, then the high-vaulted entrance which is inscribed “Palais de Justice”.At the entrance the arrested suspects are led in by thepolice.
NOTE: The local hypocrisy anticipates corruption that will be oppressive to the freedom-seeking.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE – DAY
A middle-aged ENGLISH COUPLE sit at a table just off thesquare, and observe the commotion across the way in front of the Palais de Justice.The police van pulls up. The rear doors are opened andpeople stream out.A EUROPEAN man, sitting at a table nearby, watches the English couple more closely than the scene on the street.
ENGLISHWOMAN
What on earth’s going on there?
ENGLISHMAN
I don’t know, my dear.
The European walks over to the couple.
EUROPEAN
Pardon, pardon, Monsieur, pardon
4. Madame, have you not heard?
ENGLISHMAN
We hear very little, and we understand even less.
EUROPEAN
Two German couriers were found murdered in the desert… the unoccupied desert. This is the customary roundup of refugees, liberals, and uh, of course, a beautiful young girl for Monsieur Renault, the Prefect of Police.
NOTE: With this line we anticipate the corrupt Monsieur Renault to have a role in this mix of danger and intrigue.
CUT TO:
EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
Suspects are herded out of the van, and into the Palaisde Justice.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE – DAY
EUROPEAN
Unfortunately, along with these
unhappy refugees the scum of
Europe has gravitated to
Casablanca. Some of them have been waiting years for a visa.
He puts his left arm compassionately around the Englishman,and reaches behind the man with his right hand.
EUROPEAN
I beg of you, Monsieur, watch
yourself. Be on guard. This place
is full of vultures, vultures everywhere, everywhere.
The Englishman seems to be taken aback by this sudden displayof concern.
ENGLISHMAN
Ha, ha, thank you, thank you
very much.
EUROPEAN
Not at all. Au revoir, Monsieur. Au revoir, Madame.
He leaves. The Englishman, still a trifle disconcerted by the European’s action, watches him as he leaves.
ENGLISHMAN
Au revoir. Amusing little fellow. Waiter!
As he pats both his breast and pants pockets he realizes there is something missing.
ENGLISHMAN
Oh. How silly of me.
ENGLISHWOMAN
What, dear?
ENGLISHMAN
I’ve left my wallet in the hotel.
ENGLISHWOMAN
Oh.
Suddenly the Englishman looks off in the direction of thedeparted European, the clouds of suspicion gathering.
NOTE: The above is a comic relief scene but the interaction of the characters spells danger all around from which nobody is invulnerable, even the tourist/visitor.
Interrupting overhead is the DRONE of a low flying airplane.They look up.
CUT TO:
EXT. OVERHEAD SHOT – DAY
An airplane cuts its motor for landing.
CUT TO:
EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
Refugees wait in line outside the Palais de Justice. Their upturned gaze follows the flight of the plane. In theirfaces is revealed one hope they all have in common, and the plane is the symbol of that hope.
Jan and Annina look up at the plane.
ANNINA
wistfully)
Perhaps tomorrow we’ll be on that plane.
NOTE: The couple has hope to get out of this city of danger and intrigue. This brief exchange is a harbinger of what we may see them endure.
CUT TO:
EXT. OVERHEAD SHOT – DAY
The plane SWOOPS down past a sign atop a building at the edge of the airport. The sign reads “Rick’s Cafe Americain.”
NOTE: The arc of anticipation is now nearly complete. “Rick’s Café Americain” signals a location which the story will unfold among those who frequent this “night spot. The anticipation is heightened in the next scene with the arrival of the villainous Nazi officer (Major Strasser) even though this is ‘unoccupied French territory.” We soon learn he is in Casablanca re: who is the murderer of the German couriers. The arrest is planned for Rick’s club Americain that night.
The story is moved forward and the anticipation of what is to come keep it a page-turner.
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Janeen’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that good movies use anticipation, implied questions and hints to a great degree to increase interest.
Movie: The Bourne Identity
Prior to this scene, they’ve spotted Bourne floating at sea and stopped to pick him up. They are taking him below deck to work on him.
INT. FISHING BOAT BUNK ROOM — NIGHT 4
A wreck. Too small for all the people in here right now — SAILORS sweeping off the table — rough hands laying THE MAN down —
NOTE: Lets us know this is not a high end operation and these are not upscale people.
THE CAPTAIN — brutal and impatient — watching from the door as —
NOTE: The description of the captain lets us know he’s not likely to care for or help this unconscious man.
GIANCARLO tears through the clutter — searching for a medical kit buried in the shambles. GIANCARLO is sixty. A bloodshot soul.
NOTE: The description makes us wonder if Giancarlo has any medical expertise. It he the “guy with a conscience” on this boat or is he after something else?
GIANCARLO
— it’s here — hang on — it’shere somewhere — give me a minute – – get some blankets — get some blankets on him —
(finding the kit–)
— here we go — here it is —GIANCARLO with an old trunk — just getting it open, as —
THE CAPTAIN
Giancarlo.
(Giancarlo turns back–)We pick him up? Okay, we have to pick him up. But that’s as far as it goes.
NOTE: The medical kit hasn’t been used on this trip and probably many others. The Captain is not a sympathetic character.
GIANCARLO He needs a doctor.
CAPTAIN
Fuck that. He lives? He dies? I don’t care. We’ve wasted two hours on this shit already. You do what you can, but we’re not going back.(pure steel now) You understand me?
NOTE: With no doctor in the offing, the chances of the guy on the table dying are high.
GIANCARLO Yes, sir.
CAPTAIN
(to the rest of them)Let’s get back to work!
GIANCARLO watching them run out. Snagging a quick pull on a pint of rum he’s got stashed and —
NOTE: The guy doing the medical work is also drinking — never a good sign.
5 INT. FISHING BOAT BUNK ROOM — DAWN — TIME CUTS
Transformed into a makeshift operating room. A light swings overhead. THE MAN layed out across the table. Sounds — groans — words — snatches of them — all in different languages.
GIANCARLO playing doctor in a greasy kitchen apron. Cutting away the clothes. Turning THE MAN on his side. Two bullet wounds in the back. Probing them, judging them.
NOTE: Giancarlo doesn’t seem to be shocked or bothered by bullet holes in the guy.
Now — GIANCARLO with a flashlight in his teeth — TINK — TINK — TINK — bullet fragments falling into a washed-out olive jar.
NOTE: We get the feel Giancarlo has done this before.
Now — something catching GIANCARLO’S EYE — A SCAR ON THE MAN’S HIP — another fragment — exacto knife cutting in — tweezers extracting A SMALL PLASTIC TUBE, not a bullet at all, and as it comes free —
NOTE: Giancarlo isn’t above investigating the body as though it was (or will be soon) a corpse.
THE MAN’S HAND SLAMS down onto GIANCARLO’S and we SMASH CUT
NOTE: Suddenly, the man is alive and reacting with authority.
6 INTO A — 6 FIRST PERSON POV — we are staring up at —
GIANCARLO
You’re awake. Can you hear me?(we’re blinking–)
You’ve been shot. I’m trying to help you.(we’re trying to find our voice–)
You were in the water. You’ve been shot. It’s okay now.
THE MAN Where am I?
GIANCARLO (switching to English)
You’re American. I thought so. From your teeth — the dental work – –
NOTE: Giancarlos has apparently seen his share of bodies and investigated them since he knows dental work when he sees it.
THE MAN Where am I?
GIANCARLO
You’re on a boat. A fishing boat.Italian flag. We’re out of Vietri. (he smiles)
It’s the cold that saved you. (MORE)
GIANCARLO (CONT’D)
The water. The wounds are clean. I’m not a doctor, but the wounds, it looks okay. It’s clean.THE MAN How did I get here?
GIANCARLO
You were lost at sea. They pulled you out.
(we say nothing)Who are you?
(still nothing)NOTE: Giancarlo is interrogating and getting nothing.
You were shot — two bullets — in the back. You understand me?
NOTE: Giancarlo tries to give Bourne a clue, but it means nothing to him and we are left to wonder why.
(we try to nod) Who are you?
Long dead pause.
I don’t know.NOTE: At this point, we don’t know if it’s amnesia or artifice.
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Budinscak Anticipation Scene
Day 1
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Setting up your script to keep the reader engaged has changed from the script I selected – “Ghostbusters” in 1984 – to what is acceptable today. In terms of description and action lines it’s been streamlined, but the devices used to make/keep it a page-turner hasn’t changed.
o Fun to go back and look at the scene from this angle, very insightful and subtle.
o Great way to go through your script and identify areas to build in anticipation and make it a page-turner.
I picked the original 1984 release of “GHOSTBUSTERS” as my film. The scene below is near the beginning after our heroes have interviewed the Librarian who saw the ghost and they’re now off to the location where the spirit and Librarian interacted.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
THE DOOR
Spengler sticks his head in.
SPENGLER
(excited)
It’s moving!
Stantz and Venkman rush out.
INT. DEEP IN THE STACKS — DAY
They come slowly down the dark aisle with Spengler leading, taking constant readings. Their faces are lit mainly by the light of their own monitoring and recording equipment.
NOTE: We know all this specialized equipment is for the detection of ghosts/apparitions/supernatural. All the lights and sounds indicate ghosts are nearby.
A SPIRAL STAIRCASE
One by one, Venkman, Stantz and Spengler come down the tightly winding, old iron staircase. They are scared. Books are strewn all over the floor.
A BOOKSHELF
The books start to slide forward then the whole shelving unit topples over and almost crushes the team under a ton of books. They jump to safety.
NOTE: Nice visual of how the spirit world can interface with the living.
VENKMAN
Nice.
(out loud)
Hello…
Spengler looks at his meters and silently points at a dark aisle
intersecting the one they’re in. The team inches toward it.
SPENGLER
It’s here.
NOTE: Anticipation of knowing the ghost’s location and its proximity to our heroes.
They stop at the corner.
INT. THE DARK AISLE — DAY
The team peeks around the corner and looks toward camera.
THEIR POV — DAY
An ethereal presence is hovering between the stacks about four feet off the ground. It seems to waver on the edge of being and non-being, then a large legless, headless torso begins to emerge.
VENKMAN, STANTZ AND SPENGLER
They stand there amazed.
STANTZ
(whispers)
What is it?
VENKMAN
It looks like a big pair of breasts and a
pot belly.
THE TORSO — DAY
A head and arms begin to form. The apparition is now unmistakably a full-bodied, somewhat elderly lady.
SPENGLER
It’s a woman.
NOTE: We finally get to see/read a description of the ghost.
He edges closer to take valence readings. Stantz starts snapping infra-red photos of it.
STANTZ
(excited)
I told you it’s real.
VENKMAN
(whispers)
What do we do now?
STANTZ
(whispers back)
I don’t know. Talk to it.
VENKMAN
(nods in agreement then
hesitates)
What do I say?
STANTZ
Anything! Just make contact.
VENKMAN
(takes a deep breath, then
addresses the specter)
Hey, Lady?
(the apparition turns and
seems to look right past
them)
Lady! Can you talk? Who are you?
(no answer)
(to Stantz)
This is not working. Think of something else.
STANTZ
(sotto voce)
Okay. Okay. I got it. I know what to do.
Stay close. I have a plan.
NOTE: Our yet-to-be-named Ghostbusters – Spengler, Stantz and Venkman – have in fact for the first time see a ghost and attempt to interact with it.
He starts moving closer to the apparition. Venkman and Spengler edge closer, fighting their fear. They stop just a few feet from the vision.
STANTZ (CONT’D)
(whispers)
Okay, now do exactly as I say. Everybody
ready?
VENKMAN & SPENGLER
Ready.
STANTZ
Okay…
(shouts)
GET HER!!!
He leaps at the apparition. Venkman and Spengler jump reflexively at almost the same moment but they all end up on the floor grabbing at thin air.
THE GHOST — DAY
She drops back a few feet, looms up into a raging demonlike specter and blasts them with a rush of hot breath as she mouths a single word.
THE GHOST
(roars)
QUIET!
NOTE: They interacted with the ghost and it answered them – and now we’re sure they don’t know what to do.
VENKMAN, STANTZ AND SPENGLER
They scream and fall backwards.
EXT. LIBRARY — MAIN ENTRANCE – DAY
They burst through the doors and onto the broad steps, both terrified and exhilarated by their first real contact with the supernatural. The Head Librarian rushes out the door after them and chases them down the steps.
HEAD LIBRARIAN
(very agitated)
Did you see it? What was it?
VENKMAN
We’ll get back to you.
NOTE: What are they going to do next time they meet a ghost? Can they capture one? How?
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Rob Bertrand’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned: First thing I learned is that copy and pasting from a pdf is very difficult. The lesson was eye opening, as it was the first time I really studied a scene that closely.
Movie: The Sixth Sense
Background: Cole is a troubled kid in need of therapy. We don’t yet know why that is.
SCENE:
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – MORNING
A hand turns off a radio, shutting off the morning news.
A small dog with two different colored eyes sticks his head out of the dryer, where he plays with the newly-dried clothes.
LYNN SEAR reaches in and pulls out a blouse.
She shakes it in the air and slips it on as she dresses hurriedly for work.
Lynn is a woman in her late twenties. One hundred percent South Philly. Hair teased. She chews on an early morning piece of Trident. Under all of it, Lynn Sear is an attractive and sweet-looking young woman.
NOTE: This is a great example of Vivid Visual Description. I feel I know everything I need to know about Lynn.
Lynn enters THE KITCHEN through a swinging door.
A bowl of cereal and milk sit on a table in an empty kitchen.
Lynn stares at a handful of kitchen CABINETS and DRAWERS that are open.
Lynn shakes her head.
NOTE: The author sets up the kitchen cabinets and drawers that will later payoff. You also get the sense that this event has happened before.
LYNN
Cole.She closes them one at a time before moving to the coffee machine.
Lynn shivers a little. She leans over the thermostat and raises the heat. She returns to her post at the coffee machine.
NOTE: More setup with the thermostat temperature. Setting up intrigue from the get/go.
TINY FOOTSTEPS.
Lynn turns to see Cole standing in his private school uniform.
LYNN
Your Cocoa Puffs are getting soggy.Lynn walks over to Cole. Checks his tie.
LYNN
You got a spot.Lynn unclips the tie. Cole takes a seat at the kitchen table as Lynn walks back into the laundry room.
The dog is gone now. Lynn reaches into the dryer, digging for a new tie. She finds one, then turns and steps back into the kitchen and SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS.
Every cabinet and every drawer is wide open.
Cole sits at the kitchen table. His hands are pressed flat on the tabletop.
He looks shaken.
NOTE: The scare hooks you instantly and sets up suspense and uncertainty. Is the kid playing games? Or is it something more sinister?
Neither says anything for a beat.
LYNN
(shaken)
Something you were looking for, baby?Beat.
COLE
(shaken)
Pop Tarts.Lynn looks over to the open cabinet near the sink. The pop tarts are clearly visible.
LYNN
They’re right here.COLE
Oh.NOTE: The payoff for the cabinets…The fact that they’re both scared, but unwilling to talk about it is very telling and creates a feeling of terror.
Cole gets up from the table. Takes his pop tarts. Doesn’t make eye contact.
COLE
What are you thinking, Momma?LYNN
Lots of things.COLE
Anything bad about me?NOTE: The subtext leads me to believe that the kid fears losing his mother’s love.
Lynn leans down.
LYNN
Look at my face.Cole does.
LYNN
I wasn’t thinking anything bad about you, got it?He looks at her eyes. Beat.
COLE
Got it.NOTE: We instantly love Lynn. She’s a good mom struggling to understand her toubled son.
THE DOOR BELL RINGS.
COLE
(soft)
That’s Tommy, Momma.Cole quietly kisses his mother on the cheek and starts out.
LYNN
Don’t you want this?Cole turns to see Lynn holding the pop tarts. He walks back and takes them from her before leaving.
Beat. Lynn glances to the kitchen table. Her gaze stops on the TWO TINY HAND PRINTS OF SWEAT formed on the table’s surface.
Lynn stands motionless in the kitchen. She looks up and wraps her arms around her shivering shoulders.
NOTE: We get more setup for the temperature in the house that will payoff later in the script. From this scene, we are hooked by the conundrum…what is happening here? Could it be paranormal?
CUT TO:
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Armand Anticipation Scene
What I learned…
Our script needs to be a page-turner. Right away. Tools:
– Anticipatory dialogue
– Suspense
– Hooks
– Uncertainty
– Vivid Visual Description
– Emotional description
– Writing with attitude
WORLD WAR Z
The zombies are destroying cities. A battle against the zombie horde at the Israel/Palestine border is about to occur. We’re about to see the zombies do something the genre has not done before.
74. EXT. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WALL – NEXT MOMENT
Establishing shot for scope, scale, geography. Omniscient for a moment, high above the fray, on the other side of the 100- foot high Wall that stretches to either horizon, over what used to be the West Bank. And arrayed against this Wall, all along it’s visible length, are Zs. Behind them, waves of tens of thousands more moving across the desert to join them. And from this height, lit by brilliant sunshine, all noise distant and momentarily insignificant, the scene reminds us of some beautiful migration of massive numbers of beasts across the Serengeti…again, Mother Nature present here…
(LOTS OF VIVID VISUAL DESCRIPTION WITH EMOTION)
And then we notice, in one distinct place on the Wall, a black mass of Zs begin converging suddenly – like some primal signal electrified all the Zs in this locality.
(ANTICIPATION AND UNCERTAINTY)
Within seconds, that signal seems to have travelled further back into the migration, as suddenly the black mass of Zs is 5 times more numerous – unconsciously forming into a vague arrowhead – tip focused on that small point on the Wall…
(VIVID DESCRIPTION)
And as more Zs converge on this point, we begin pushing-in as well…zooming and dropping until we’re at ground level, right at the tip of the arrowhead – and we can suddenly and clearly hear the men on the bullhorns again, just on the other side of the wall, at almost this exact point…
(SUSPENSE)
This tip of this arrowhead is actually several Dozen Zs long – and they’re all being obliterated from the tectonic pressure of all those heedless thousands behind.
And then we see this very first line of Zs, almost in unison, literally snap under the pressure now, their bodies breaking in dozens of places. The second line, seemingly without even understanding it, are elevated up onto the shattered husks of the first rank…and suddenly these Zs are two feet closer to the top of the wall…until they themselves are crushed, and then the third line moves on top of the first two. And in this way, Zombie Pyramids are made.
(THE ZOMBIE PYRAMID WAS THE HOOK OF THE FILM’S MARKETING AND THE SCRIPT PROVIDES A VIVID DESCRIPTION AND EMOTIONS).
We begin to pull back out and up now as we watch this pyramid naturally form through nothing but pressure and instinctual urge.
(CREATES MORE SUSPENSE AND UNCERTAINTY)
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Pablo’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned: It’s a good idea to drop the reader in the middle of something and leave the outcome open to multiple possibilities if not completely mysterious. The film I chose is Maverick and we are right at the beginning. Maverick, our hero, has a noose around his neck. The rope is tight to a tree branch and Maverick is sitting on a horse with his hands tied behind his back as three villains surround him. The main villain drops a burlap sack before they leave him. We don’t know who these men are. We don’t know what Maverick has done to get himself into the situation. And we don’t know what’s in the burlap sack. Let the pages turn…
FADE IN ON:
1 EXT. DESOLATE LANDSCAPE – HANGING TREE – DAY 1
Rocks. Cactus. The occasional tree.
Not a place you’d like to spend your summer vacation.
Now there are sounds: A WHIPPING WIND begins to get
LOUDER. And in the distance, but GROWING: THUNDER.
CAMERA STARTS TO MOVE —
SLOWLY, INEXORABLY, ACROSS this dead place —
— suddenly it STOPS.
We are in a Sergio Leone TIGHT CLOSEUP of just a hideous looking man. One eye looks straight ahead. The other
wanders.
CAMERA MOVES AGAIN.
The wind is really kicking up —
— suddenly, another STOP.
Another Leone CLOSEUP.
A second man. This guy makes the first one look
handsome. Both his eyes work, which is an improvement.
But his neck has been horribly burned as if from a noose.
CAMERA IS MOVING AGAIN.
LOUDER THUNDER. A storm is coming fast.
CAMERA STOPS.
We are LOOKING AT the least appetizing of the three. Not
that he’s scarred, not that all his parts aren’t in
proper working order — it’s just that he’s so damn
frightening.
Not to mention huge.
This is THE ANGEL and like the other two, he is seated on
a horse. And he is staring intently at something. FROM
The Angel — we go to…
BRET MAVERICK
for this is who the trio is looking at.
(CONTINUED)
2.
1 CONTINUED: 1
MAVERICK’s 30, give or take. Enormously appealing.
Whether that’s because of his considerable physical
skills or his sunny personality, who knows. It might
be his quiet wit.
In any case, we are looking at a handsome young man that
everybody likes —
— oops —
— make that almost everybody.
Because just now he is seated on a horse beneath a tree
and a thick hope has been tied around his neck, the rope
thrown over a branch. His hands have been tied behind
his back. We are about to watch a hanging. His.
THE ANGEL
(riding closer)
I almost got hung myself once,
didn’t much care for it, how about
you?
(as Maverick
says nothing)
We’re gonna leave now, but I’m
worried about your well-being.
Maverick just stares at him, makes no reply.
THE ANGEL
He gestures for the other two to ride, and they take
off.
THE ANGEL
See, I don’t think it’s a good
thing for a man to be alone out
here. Your mind can do cruel
things.
And now he takes a burlap sack, tosses it toward
Maverick. It lands nearby.
THE ANGEL
Enjoy the company.
He spurs his horse, rides away.
MAVERICK
managing to turn his head in the direction The Angel
took.
(CONTINUED)
3.
1 CONTINUED: (2) 1
THE ANGEL AND OTHER TWO
disappearing over a nearby hill.
2 EXT. SKY – DAY 2
The sky. Storm clouds convene.
3 EXT. HANGING TREE – DAY 3
Maverick. He takes a deep breath, tries to wriggle
free of the knotted rope around his neck.
No luck.
Make that bad luck.
The horse has been surprised by his movement, takes a
half step.
MAVERICK
Freezing.
HORSE
It relaxes, settles down.
4 EXT. SKY – DAY 4
The sky, and a THUNDERCLAP.
5 EXT. HANGING TREE – DAY 5
Maverick, staring at his horse. The noise was loud.
Either the horse is deaf or it likes thunder. Doesn’t
budge an inch.
Maverick starts to try and work his neck free again.
This time the horse doesn’t move at all.
Maverick sighs with relief, glances around.
BURLAP SACK
It is starting to wriggle.
(CONTINUED)
4.
5 CONTINUED: 5
MAVERICK
He holds his breath.
HORSE
It hasn’t spotted the sack yet.
SACK
Wriggling more. Pretty soon it’s going to be hard
not to spot it.
MAVERICK
caution to the winds now, trying desperately to
somehow get free of the noose —
— and miraculously, he’s starting to make a little
headway.
HORSE
Calm. Nothing flusters this animal.
MAVERICK
even more headway — he’s in pain but he ignores it.
6 EXT. SKY – DAY 6
The sky. More THUNDER.
7 EXT. HANGING TREE – DAY 7
The horse. Standing still.
8 EXT. SKY – DAY 8
The clouds are darker.
9 EXT. HANGING TREE – DAY 9
The horse. It could be a statue.
MAVERICK
one eye on the sack as he continues to work to free his
neck. Now —
SACK
as a rattlesnake peeks out.
(CONTINUED)
MAVERICK – Rev. 11/15/93 5.
9 CONTINUED: 9
MAVERICK
Jesus.
HORSE
Oblivious.
SACK
Half-a-dozen rattlers are moving out of the sack now.
Close by. Some of them are big, some of them are very
big. All of them have fangs.
MAVERICK
struggling harder than ever, and he’s actually making
more headway. It’s exhausting labor. As he continues
his fight for life —
MAVERICK (V.O.)
It had been just a shitty week for
me from the beginning.
Now, FROM that —
9A FLASHBACK – EXT. ROAD – LONG LENS – AFTERNOON 9A
A lone rider rides through dusty area up and down dips
in the road. It is Maverick. He rides a mule. Angel *
follows and then Coop follows….
0 -
Elizabeth’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned: there are many ways to create a sense of anticipation
A Promising Woman
Cassandra has gone to the bachelor party of Al, the man who instigated a gang-rape of her childhood best friend, prompting the friend’s suicide. After a many years of acting out, exacting a form of revenge on men who attempt to take advantage of similarly conscious-impaired women, Cassandra is recently in possession of a video tape of her friend’s rape, has ended a romantic relationship (after learning he witnessed the event), and is presumably out for revenge on Al, maybe others.
CASSANDRA (CONT’D) Time to go upstairs. What’s she going to do
AL MONROE I don’t think…
CASSANDRA (whisper)
Look, I won’t do anything if you don’t want to, but I only get paid if I go upstairs with you.
OK.
AL MONROE
CASSANDRA zips her dress back up, takes him by the hand and triumphantly leads him up the stairs, the guys go crazy.
JOE
I wanna see her crawling out of here we want to see them crawling out
in the morning, Al!! She’d better not be able to walk!!
CHIP
Leave some for us, man!!!
INT. CABIN HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT
A peeling bedroom. Plaid, old mouldering boar heads, and a needlepoint sign which reads “Yeeeh Haw!” above the bed. We can hear the music thumping from downstairs.
AL MONROE So. What do I…
CASSANDRA Get on the bed.
117
AL MONROE
Ok.
(jokey)
I’m a little scared of you. We know he should be
CASSANDRA
You don’t need to be scared. Get on
the bed. She lies, so what’s this mean…
AL does. She gets some pink, fluffy handcuffs out of her nurse’s bag.
AL MONROE
Wait. Sorry. I’m not sure about
this.
CASSANDRA It’s for my safety.
AL MONROE What do you mean?
CASSANDRA
When I give private dances…guys
can get a little handsy so…
AL MONROE Oh. Right. Of course.
He lets her put on the handcuffs. He’s vulnerable. What’s she going to do?
AL MONROE (CONT’D)
You know…you don’t have to…I’m a
gentleman.
Are you? Yeah.
CASSANDRA AL MONROE CASSANDRA
You might be surprised to hear that gentlemen are sometimes the worst.
She finishes cuffing him.
AL MONROE
Ow. Can you loosen them a little?
CASSANDRA You’ll get used to it. She doesn’t have any empathy here. What’s the furthest she would go?
118
Beat.
AL MONROE
Look. I don’t want to sound like a
pussy but…you’re not going to…do anything, are you? It’s just, I love my fiancee. We’re getting married so…I don’t want any…um…
CASSANDRA (kind) so is she going to rape him?
Hey. Do I look like someone who would make you do something you don’t want to do?
No.
Exactly.
What’s your name?
AL MONROE CASSANDRA AL MONROE
CASSANDRA
Candy.
I mean. Your real name.
CASSANDRA Nina. Nina Fisher.
AL MONROE
AL looks like a ghost just walked into the room. She’s standing at the foot of his bed, staring coldly down at him.
AL MONROE What did you say?
CASSANDRA
I said my name is Nina Fisher.
AL starts to struggle against the cuffs.
AL MONROE
Can you let me out of these, please?
CASSANDRA I’m sorry I can’t.
119
Beat.
AL MONROE
Did one of the guys put you up to
this? Was it Joe? Jesus Christ this is dark, even for him.
CASSANDRA I don’t follow.
AL MONROE
You are not Nina Fisher.
CASSANDRA
Why not? Because…she’s dead.
CASSANDRA
Must be another Nina Fisher. A
coincidence. Sadistic. How far would she take this
AL MONROE
I don’t think so. Please let me go.
This isn’t funny.
CASSANDRA
Why would I give you a dead girl’s
AL MONROE
name?
AL MONROE is panicking.
AL MONROE
This is fucked up, ok? Stop it.
CASSANDRA
But, I’m not doing anything.
AL MONROE (shouting)
GUYS! JOE! BRANDON! CHIP! GUYS! CAN YOU GET UP HERE!
The music is throbbing. If guys come to rescue him, what happens to her?
CASSANDRA
I don’t think they can hear you. And
even if you could shout out loud…
What?
AL MONROE
120
CASSANDRA
They’re all passed out by now.
AL MONROE is really scared now.
CASSANDRA (CONT’D)
Because if there is one thing that I
learned at Forrest College, it is how easy it is to slip something into a drink. You’d think they’d remember that. Especially Joe! Ohhhhh, no one is coming to help. He’s the one at risk
AL MONROE Do I know you?
CASSANDRA
I’m not sure you’d remember me, Al.
You were so popular. It dawns on him.
AL MONROE
You’re Nina’s friend. Oh fuck.
You’re Nina’s friend.
CASSANDRA
So you DID notice me after all. I’m
surprised. I wasn’t super-fuckable at college so, I thought I kind of slipped your attention.
AL MONROE
What do you want? Money? Are you
blackmailing me? You can have anything.
CASSANDRA
No, I don’t need money. I just want
a conversation.
AL MONROE Anything you want, ok?
CASSANDRA
I want you to tell me what you did.
AL MONROE
Are you talking about…?
CASSANDRA
What do you think I’m talking about?
AL MONROE
I didn’t do anything! We were kids!
121
CASSANDRA
If I hear that ONE MORE TIME.
CASSANDRA is really, really angry. It’s all coming apart now. AL MONROE
I was affected too, you know? It’s
every guy’s worst nightmare, getting accused like that. We fear that Cassandra could do something extreme. Her mental state…and his not owning up is making things worse
CASSANDRA
Can you guess what every girl’s
worst nightmare is? AL’s lip wobbles.
CASSANDRA (CONT’D) The thing is, you thought you’d
gotten away with it because everyone had forgotten. But I haven’t.
She opens her PVC nurse’s bag. In it are all of her surgical instruments from college. Is her plan to cut him? How badly?He’s really panicking now.
AL MONROE
You’re out of your fucking mind!
CASSANDRA
I was so sad to leave, you know. I’d
wanted to be a doctor my whole life. (beat)
But lately, I’ve been feeling like I might want to get back into it.
She picks up a scalpel.
AL MONROE Stop! Please!
She sits on the bed.
CASSANDRA
You know. Nina was extraordinary. So
smart. Weirdly smart. He struggles.
AL MONROE Help! Help me! Fuck!
125
CASSANDRA
Shhh. I want you to know what she
was like, ok? But she’s so difficult to explain because she was just so completely herself. Even when she was four years old. She was fully formed from day one. Same face. Same walk. And funny like a grown up was funny. Kind of, shrewd. Perceptive. So smart.
CASSIE is absent-mindedly holding onto her BFF necklace, with “Nina” written on it.
CASSANDRA (CONT’D)
I was just in awe of her. I couldn’t
believe she wanted to be my friend! She didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought, except for me. Because she was just…Nina.
(beat)
And then she wasn’t. Suddenly, she was something else, she was yours. It wasn’t her name she heard when she was walking around, it was yours. Your name all over her. All around her. All the time. And it just…squeezed her out.
(beat)
So when I heard your name again. Your filthy fucking name. I wondered when was the last time someone had said hers. Or thought it even. Apart from me.
(beat)
And it made me so sad. Because, Al, you should be the one with her name all over you.
half-heart
No.
AL MONROE
CASSANDRA
Don’t worry. I’ve sterilized
everything. I really would have been a great doctor.
AL MONROE You’re insane.his voicing this—we think she might be
CASSANDRA
You know what? I honestly don’t
think I am.
126
CASSANDRA unbuttons his shirt slowly.
CASSANDRA (CONT’D)
I’ll do this as quick as I can, ok?
She’s about to cut him, when-
BAM!- He breaks a hand free from a handcuff and grabs her by the throat. CASSANDRA is caught off-guard.okay now it’s a fight.
He turns her onto the bed, to get both hands around her throat. She struggles. He’s choking her.
AL MONROE
You asked for this. You fucking
asked for this. This is your…fault.
CASSANDRA is looking at him. She can’t breathe.
She somehow slips out of his grasp. There’s a struggle, with AL’s hand tied to the bed they’re evenly matched, she manages to get her hand free again and she raises the scalpel.
It looks like she might win when, at the last second, AL catches her arm and twists it. The scalpel falls to the ground. Hope/fear
He wrestles her back down onto the bed. One arm on her neck, pushing down. He starts to cry.
AL MONROE (CONT’D) This is your fault…
He can’t look at her. He grabs a pillow puts it over her face.
He climbs onto her head, kneeling on the pillow, smothering her with his knees. The one hand still handcuffed to the bed. It’s clumsy. It is going on for much too long. It feels like forever as she struggles underneath him. Every second we’re waiting for her to turn things around.
She tries to fight back, her hands scrabbling over him. She scratches his neck, but she’s running out of air. Her face hidden. AL is really sobbing now, kneeling on top of her.
Finally, after a long time, her body goes limp. Her arm falls, lifeless, to the ground. He’s killed her. Will he get away with this too?
AL stays on top of her. Crying. He climbs off tentatively.
127
We wait for the Fatal Attraction moment when she springs back to life. It never comes.
INT. CABIN – BEDROOM – MORNING
We are in the exact same place at the night before. A shaft of light on the bed from above. AL is still on the bed, one hand still handcuffed to a post. He’s been up all night, unable to get out of it: his wrist is bleeding. A scratch mark has come up on his neck.
CASSANDRA’s face is still under the pillow, her body in the same position. AL is shivering, crying. We hear footsteps in the hallway.
A bluebottle bats against the window.
We are on CASSIE’S hand, her perfect manicure, hanging off the bed, the scalpel a few inches away on the floor. When JOE barges in.
JOE what’s Joe going to do
Oh man, what a night!!
He stops. Takes in the “sleeping” body and the handcuffs. Starts giggling.
JOE (CONT’D)
Oh my god!! Is that the fucking
nurse? Are you kidding me? Nooooice!
Beat.
JOE
Don’t freak out! Come on. Anastasia
will never know. Okay? What happens on tour, stays on tour.
AL MONROE She’s dead, Joe.
Joe-
AL MONROE
JOE looks at him, then laughs.
Beat.
JOE Come on.
AL MONROE I’m not kidding.
128
JOE
Ohhh. Fuuuck. You’re being ironic. AL MONROE (desperate)
What?
JOE
Killing a stripper at your bachelor
party? What is this the 90s? Classic.
(beat)
You want me to get her outta here so you can sleep? Her money’s downstairs, although I’m not sure we gave her a big enough tip now I see what’s been going on here!
He walks over, and shakes her shoulder.
JOE (CONT’D) Time to go, babe.
No response. JOE pulls the pillow up. AL looks away, squeamish. CASSANDRA’s face is still hidden. It takes JOE a few seconds. He replaces the pillow.
SHIT!
JOE (CONT’D)
AL MONROE I told you!
JOE
SHIT! Oh my god. Oh my god. The
fucking stripper is dead! YOU KILLED THE STRIPPER! How did this happen?
AL starts to cry again. Blubbering like a child.
AL MONROE I don’t know!
JOE goes around to comfort him. This is the beginning of every bro comedy where a guy accidentally kills/hits/hurts a sex worker. We’ve seen this trope before. Guys hurting women. Guys covering for their friends. We are familiar with this scene.
JOE
Hey man. This is not your fault ok?
AL MONROE (sniffing)
I don’t know…it kinda seems like it is…
130
JOE No, it’s not!
AL MONROE (crying)
Am I…am I going to jail? What about the wedding? What about my job? Anastasia is going to be so upset. No one will understand…
JOE
It was an accident though, right?
I mean-
AL MONROE
JOE (firm)
It was an accident, Al.
AL MONROE
Yeah. Of course. I mean, of course
it was! JOE thinks. The’ll try to make it look like an accident?
JOE
Listen to me. No one is going to
jail ok? Because no one is going to know about this. If anyone asks, we all saw her leave last night. She stripped and she left.
AL MONROE (faint)
She left…
JOE
Exactly. We’ll take care of it. We
just need to hide the body til the others go.
AL nods gratefully.
JOE (CONT’D) Al, hey, look at me.
AL looks at JOE.
This is not your fault.
JOE (CONT’D)
131
AL MONROE (whisper)
Thank you. EXT. WOODS – DAY
“Something Wonderful” from The King And I plays over the next few scenes.
A thick plume of black smoke rises above the trees. They’re going to try to cover their tracks. Will it work?
EXT. WOODS – DAY
Everyone else has gone home. In the twilight of the JOE holds onto a crying AL.
They are standing in front of a bonfire. JOE throws blue wig. AL can’t look. He’s too sad. JOE comforts nudges CASSANDRA’s hand back onto the fire with his
EXT. WOODS – DAY
woods,
on the him. JOE foot.
The fire is dying out. JOE throws CASSANDRA’s car keys into the embers. He gently leads AL away. Poor AL is feeling very sorry for himself.
BLACK.
INT. CASSANDRA’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Two cops, LINCOLN, a kindly, seasoned detective and TODD, his smart, young partner, are interviewing a terrified SUSAN and STANLEY.
SUSAN
Can’t you track her phone or
something?
LINCOLN
I’m sorry, ma’am. It was turned off
before she left. Seems like she really didn’t want anyone to know where she was.
SUSAN
It’s not like her to
just…disappear like this. Are the cops going to figure this out?
132
STANLEY
Well, honey, that’s not entirely-
SUSAN (stern)
Stanley. SUSAN starts to cry.
SUSAN (CONT’D)
She was getting better. She was
getting better, wasn’t she? STANLEY comforts her.
STANLEY Cops might conclude she ran away and/or suicided
Of course she was. She’ll come back.
You know what she’s like. She always comes back.
The cops look at STANLEY. They can see from his face he doesn’t believe this.
TODD
Was she seeing anyone? Did she have
a boyfriend?
INT. BATHORY HOSPITAL – RYAN’S OFFICE – DAY
RYAN is working when he hears a knock on the door. It’s LINCOLN.
LINCOLN Are you Dr. Cooper?
RYAN Yeah.
LINCOLN flashes his badge.
LINCOLN Detective Walker.
RYAN tries to stay calm. Has CASSIE sent the video?
RYAN Sure, come in.
We can feel that LINCOLN is impressed by Ryan.
LINCOLN Pediatric surgeon, huh?
133
RYAN Yeah.
LINCOLN
That’s very commendable. Thank you
for all that you do for the community.
RYAN is a little wrong-footed.
Beat.
RYAN Sure.
LINCOLN
Sorry to bother you at work, doctor.
Do you know a Cassandra Thomas?
RYAN (wary)
Yeah. Yes. Why?
LINCOLN How do you know her? RYAN
We were seeing each other.
LINCOLN
‘Were’ seeing each other?
RYAN
Yeah. We…we broke up a few days
ago.
LINCOLN Define a few days.
RYAN
Um. Last Thursday.
LINCOLN
Have you had any contact since?
RYAN
No. I’m sorry, what is this
regarding?
LINCOLN
Cassandra’s parents have filed a
missing persons report. This is a surprise.
Beat.
RYAN What? Why?
LINCOLN Because she’s missing.
RYAN is reeling. This doesn’t make sense.
RYAN Since when?
LINCOLN Since Friday.
RYAN
Jesus. Why didn’t anyone tell me?
LINCOLN
You said you were no longer her
boyfriend.
135
RYAN I’m not but…
LINCOLN
She told her parents something about
a work trip, but her colleague didn’t know anything about it. Do you have any idea where she might have been going to this weekend?
I-
RYAN
He stops. If he’s honest he could be hugely compromised. They could find the video.
What he’s about to say is terrible.
Beat.
RYAN (CONT’D)
Yeah she…said she was going on a
work trip.
LINCOLN Any idea where?
RYAN No. I’m sorry. Ryan lies. Will he get away with this?
LINCOLN
It’s alright, doc. Between you and
me, it sounded like she wasn’t feeling so good. Mentally, I mean. Her father seemed to think she was… a little unstable.
RYAN
Yeah. She was…not in a good place.
LINCOLN
You think she might have…
LINCOLN (CONT’D) Wanted to hurt herself?
Beat.
This is the get out RYAN needs. He’s happy to believe it too. It’ll absolve him. He can be the good guy again.
136
RYAN (relief)
Yeah. Yeah, I guess. She could have. More fear the cops will conclude she’s suicided
LINCOLN
I thought that might be the case.
Thank you for your honesty. (beat)
Well. I don’t want to bother you anymore, but if you wouldn’t mind coming to the station tomorrow, you know, for an official statement.
RYAN (earnest)
Of course. Anything I can do to help.
TODD
Thank you for your time, doctor.
Appreciate it.
LINCOLN leaves. RYAN watches him go. He’s gotten away with it, but it doesn’t feel good.
EXT. LAWN – DAY
A beautiful day. A beautiful “artisan” woodland wedding. AL gazes at his beautiful wife. We can just see a band aid on his neck above his collar.
He and ANASTASIA exchange vows to a ukulele version of “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain. As AL takes the ring from his best man, JOE, JOE winks at him. AL tries not to flinch.
We weave in and out as AL kisses his bride. As they run down the aisle to cheering. Have their photos taken. As the gorgeous guests mill around drinking champagne and laughing.
Among it, but apart from it, is RYAN. Trying to look like he’s enjoying himself. JOE approaches him.
JOE
Do you see that bridesmaid?
He nods over.
JOE (CONT’D)
She trained with the Circe Du
Soleil. You can come on her face and her back at the same time.
137
RYAN That’s nice.can Ryan move on?
JOE grins and runs over to the bridesmaid. RYAN sighs. Then- His phone goes. It’s a message, he looks at the screen. CASSIE.
Holy shit. He looks around, furtively reads the text. “Scheduled Message from CASSANDRA THOMAS pending”. What’s this?
What?
“No Regrets” by The Walker Brothers begins to play.
MONTAGE:
INT. JORDAN’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY
MONTAGE: Jordan opens a package. Inside is MADISON’s blackberry.
He reads the letter that accompanies it. We catch a couple of sentences. “In the event of my disappearance…Friday May
22nd…Alexander Monroe’s bachelor party…cabin….Cassie”.
He frowns as he reads, becoming increasingly troubled. He picks up his phone, and dials.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
MONTAGE: GAIL finds another letter in the cash register, addressed to her. It’s the other half of the BFF necklace, this one says “CASSIE”. She looks in the envelope. No letter. Cassie has a backup plan
EXT. WOODS – DAY
MONTAGE: Police, with dogs, search the woods, they come across the pile of ashes from the bonfire. Shouting, activity. There’s nothing left. Except for the other half of the necklace, burnt out but still readable in the ashes: “Nina”. Cassie is going to “win” in this world of aggression with her own version of it
BACK TO:
CUT TO:
138
EXT. LAWN – DAY – MOMENTS LATER
“No Regrets” still playing, RYAN opens the scheduled text.
“Lucky I got insurance!”
He looks up, sirens are coming into the drive. A line of police cars. The beautiful guests all turn to look, confused.
Series of shots:
AL MONROE looks over at JOE, both of them in a huge panic. They didn’t get away with it.
ANASTASIA looks at her husband: what’s going on?
AL’S FATHER arguing with the police as they walk into the wedding.
AL being put into handcuffs. He’s already crying. His bride sobbing into her father’s shoulder.
JOE discreetly slips away.
All the guests looking on horrified.
RYAN’s phone beeps again amidst all the chaos. He looks down at it, dazed.
From CASSIE:
“Enjoy the wedding! ;)”
THE END
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Emmanuel’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is page-turner scenes are crucial to a script. What I’ve found is scripts have lull points, but when you disperse anticipation throughout the script, it keeps the reader engaged and wanting to read more.
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