Day 1 Assignment

[Don Tsuchiyama]

When, specifically, is this assignment due?

[James Bodley]

James Bodley Finds the Essence

What I learned is that Essence can be all to easily hidden by its Expression. And that often when writing the Expression part comes to us without having fully grasped the Essence leading us to miss the point or wander from it.

Script I choose: ERIN BROCKOVITCH by Susannah Grant

Scene 1

INT. DR. JAFFE’S OFFICE – DAY

Logline: A successful doctor interviews Erin who has no actual medical training. She tries to impress him but is a single mother with a mixed bag of irrelevant past experience and from a social class whose ideas of beauty are far from subtle.

Essence: Erin’s a working class fish gasping out of middle-class water. Though desperate for work, her dress, speech and experience all work against her.

Scene 2

INT. DRUGSTORE – AT THE REGISTER – DAY

Logline: Erin filches a bottle from a shelf then sweet talks the check-out lady, saying she meant to buy baby cough medicine, but when she got home, she saw she’d bought adult stuff by mistake. She can’t find the receipt, but could she maybe exchange it anyway…

Essence: Erin is on the breadline, bold, bright and prepared to do whatever it takes. Beggars can’t be choosers, so this mother of three is prepared to bend a few rules…

Scene 3

EXT. ERIN’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Erin has just got her kids off to sleep. Motorcycles are parked next door and one biker is revving his engine. Erin confronts him, tells him to shut the fuck up. He tries to date her but she sarcastically puts him down, lets him know she’s broke with three kids.

Essence: Erin takes crap from no-one. She’s more than able to fend for herself.

Scene 4

INT. ERIN’S HOUSE – EARLY EVENING

Erin panics when she can’t find her kids. She hears them laughing, outside and finds them with her biker neighbor, eating hamburgers. He tells her something happened with the child minder so he took them. Erin warns him – this is not going to get him laid…

Essence: Hard knocks have taught her that people have ulterior motives. She’s not scared of calling a spade a spade.

Scene 5

INT. THE IRVINGS’ HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – DAY

Logline: Erin goes to Hinkley where her down to earth manner works well with impoverished residents there. She digs to find out why PG&E would want to buy properties and pay for medical examinations – and first learns of a possible link with chromium in the groundwater.

Essence: Life has made her aware of ulterior motives and manipulation. Tenacious and not content to take things at face value she seeks an opinion on the consequence of chromium in groundwater.

KEY SCENE (The opening scene of ERIN BROCKOVITCH

INT. DR. JAFFE’S OFFICE – DAY

A successful-looking doctor sits behind a desk in a well- appointed office. He’s looking at someone off-camera.

DR. JAFFE

Uh, but you have no actual medical training?

ERIN

(off)

No. I have kids. Learned a lot right there. I’ve seen nurses give my son a throat culture. I mean what is it – you stick a giant Q-tip down their throat and wait. Or a urine analysis, with that dipstick that tells you whether or not the white count is high…

DR. JAFFE

Yes, I understand.

ERIN

(off)

And, I mean, I’m great with people. Of course, you’d have to observe me to know for sure, but trust me on that one. I’m extremely fast learner. I mean, you show me what to do in a lab once, and I’ve got it down.

He nods. Now we see who he is talking to: ERIN BROCKOVICH. How to describe her? A beauty queen would come to mind – which, in fact, she was. Tall in a mini skirt, legs crossed, tight top, beautiful – but clearly from a social class and geographic orientation whose standards for displaying beauty are not based on subtlety.

ERIN

…for instance, at one point I wanted to be an engineer, so I was working at Fleuer Engineers and Constructors in Irvine. I fell madly in love with geology.

DR. JAFFE

Geology?

ERIN

I learned how to read maps. I love maps. Did you know our present system for map- making dates back to the ancient Greeks in like the third century B.C.?

DR. JAFFE

No.

ERIN

Anyway, I was at the company and – this is interesting, actually – I helped Ramish Ginatra design, as an assistant, part of the Alaskan pipeline…

DR. JAFFE

Uh-huh.

ERIN

..But I lost that job because my son came down with the Chicken Pox and 104 temperature and my ex-husband was useless, so..ya know…But what I want to tell you is I, uh .. I had always wanted to go to medical school. That was my first interest really…but then I, you know, got married..had a kid too young and..that kind of blew it for me..

Jaffe stares at her.

DR. JAFFE

Uh-huh.

ERIN

(beat, looks around) This is a really nice office.

Jaffe looks down at her resume, trying to figure a polite route.

DR. JAFFE

Thanks. (looks up at her) Look….

Beat. By Erin’s expression, she knows what’s coming.

WHY THE KEY SCENE IS PROFOUND:

The opening scene sets up the vast financial and cultural disparity between Erin, single mother of three on the breadline, and a successful medical practitioner who could hire her but doesn’t. It is also no coincidence that in the very next sequence Erin’s clunker Hyundai is smashed into by another reckless doctor barrelling around a corner in a Jaguar.

This echo continues throughout the screenplay via the financial and cultural difference between the working class residents of Hinkley (who Erin understands) and the PG&E corporation lawyers trying to deny responsibility for the contamination of the groundwater.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by  James Bodley.

[Don Thompson]

Don Thompson Finds the Essence

What I learned is that a writer needs to understand each scene in its specific essence, but also how that contributes to the overall story. It is not unlike a painter, who chooses a specific color and brush for a given section, but that ideally will add to the whole of the painting and composition.

The script I choose: ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’ by Horton Foote

Scene 1 Location: Scene 3, First Act, Atticus’ house
Logline: Mr. Cunningham pays his bill with goods instead of money
Essence: Atticus Finch is generous and looks out for those in need.

Scene 2 Location: Scene 23, Act I, Atticus in front of Mrs. Dubose’s house
Logline: Atticus disarms the cantankerous Mrs. Dubose with his charm
Essence: Atticus Finch is nonjudgmental, mature, and skillful in dealing with uncomfortable situations.

Scene 3 Location: Scene 48, Act I – Court House
Logline: Robert Lewell (whose daughter was supposedly raped by Tom Robinson) questions Atticus about him defending Tom Robinson
Essence: Atticus Finch represents the rule of law and modern civilization that stands against the rule of the mob and racial prejudice.

Scene 4 Location: Scene 295, Act III – Atticus Finch’s house
Logline: Sheriff Tate tells Atticus that Robert Lewell has been killed by Boo Radley but that they should overlook it given the circumstances
Essence: Those that commit a crime (Robert Lewell) will eventually pay for it. The true rule of law is transcendent and arises from innocence, not human judgment.

Scene 5 Location: Scene 296, Act III – Atticus Finch’s house

Logline: Atticus tells Scout to tell the authorities that Robert Lewell ‘fell on his knife’ – Scout then asks Boo Radley to come inside and see Jem (who was injured by Robert Ewell).

Essence: Scout comes to understand that the innocent cannot be made guilty, regardless of human law and judgment to the contrary (the persecution of Tom Robinson). In other words, morality is not absolute but based on context. Finally, the innocent (‘the Mockingbird’ and Boo Radley) should always be welcome in the human world.

Scene 5 verbatim text:

Atticus looks out into the yard and then over at Scout.

ATTICUS: Scout, Mr. Ewell fell on his knife. Do you think you can possibly understand?

SCOUT: Yes, sir. I understand. Mr. Tate was right.

ATTICUS: What do you mean?

SCOUT: Well, it would be sort of like shooting a mockingbird, wouldn’t it?

Atticus puts his face in her hair and rubs it. ANGLE WIDENS as Atticus gets up and starts for the house. Before he goes inside, he stops in front of Arthur Radley.

ATTICUS: Thank you for my children, Arthur.

He goes on inside. Arthur gets up and nods toward the front door.

SCOUT: You’d like to say good night to Jem, wouldn’t you, Mr. Arthur? Come right in.

They go in the door.

[Ronald Dalrymple]

Ron Dalrymple Finds the Essence. What I learned is the importance to knowing the essence of each scene so that the essence of your story, concept, theme and character(s) are honored.

Screenplay: Whiplash by Damien Chazelle

Scene 1 Location: opening scene

Logline: Neiman (first year student drummer) in music room plays for Fletcher (college music teacher)

Essence: Establish relationship between a tyrannical, demanding music teacher and a passionate, driven student who wishes to be a great drummer and wants to be the drummer in Fletcher’s elite band.

Scene 2 Location: scene 4 page 9

Logline: Lower level school jazz band rehearses. Neiman is replaced by Ryan, a more experienced, popular and accomplished drummer. After practice, Neiman asks the conductor for feedback.

Essence: Neiman doubts his ability to make it as a drummer and decides to transfer out of Schaffer

Scene 3 Location: early act 2, page 30

Logline: Band practices. Fletcher goes into a tirade and humiliates Neiman by physically abusing him (throws chair at him and slaps his face to mark time to music)

Essence: Show the malevolent side of Fletcher’s teaching technique towards his students as well as his skills as a conductor / music teacher

Scene 4 Location: end act 2, page 75

Logline: An injured Neiman plays terribly and Fletcher tells him he is done. Neiman lashes out, tackles Fletcher, releasing his anger at Fletcher and getting kicked out of Schaffer.

Essence: Neiman comes to terms with Fletcher’s tyrannical teaching methods and no longer will tolerate and be subservient to Fletcher’s ways (breaks free of Fletcher).

Scene 5 Location: climatic scene, page 100

Logline: After failing miserably on first performance, Neiman ignores his father’s plea to give up, faces down Fletcher and takes control and plays brilliantly, leading the band.

Essence: Neiman achieves his dream of being an outstanding musician overcoming naysayers (Jim, his father) and his own insecurities (he no longer fears Fletcher, plays with confidence)

My selection for the scene with the most profound essence was scene 5. The climactic scene from ‘Whiplash’ by Damien Chazelle (page 100-105).

Essence: Neiman achieves his dream of being an outstanding musician.

1) He plays as well as any of the top drummers have

2) Music critics, managers, executives, band managers, etc. are wowed by his performance showing he has established himself as a musician in this business

3) He believes in himself overcoming naysayers in his life (emotional when he says he doesn’t know his father).

4) He shows his confidence by doing his own thing and leading the band while defying Fletcher

INT. ZANKEL HALL – STAGE – CONTINUOUS 108
Back to Andrew… Retreating BACKSTAGE…
…when he sees — around the corner of the backstage entrance — — his father.

IN THE WINGS

Jim has just arrived at the entryway. Looks at Andrew. Hurries toward him. Is going to put an end to this. Andrew looks at his dad for a moment, approaching. Jim reaches him —

— and HUGS him.

JIM
I love you. I’m so sorry this is

happening to you.

Andrew looks at his dad. Something seems to click inside him at that instant.

He pulls back. The desperation in his eyes giving way to something else. Jim watches Andrew as Andrew steps backward, before…

…a pair of STAGE HANDS arrive.

STAGE HAND Sir, you can’t be here–

JIM
Yes I can, I’m taking him with me–

STAGE HAND (to Andrew)

You know each other?

Andrew is silent for a moment. Still. As though it has just dawned on him.

He takes in the sight — his dad, dwarfed by the Stage Hands, reaching out to him. Jim has never looked quite so small to his son, quite so pathetic, as at this moment.

A beat. More silence. And then —

Jim goes wide-eyed. Utterly shocked. Andrew steps further back, as the STAGE HANDS move to pull Jim away–

ON STAGE

Andrew!!!

JIM (CONT’D)

Pink (9/10/2013) 100

STAGE HAND Alright, sir, that’s enough–

JIM
My — my son — I need to get my son–

STAGE HAND Let’s calm down–

JIM (frantic now–)

Andrew!!

Andrew calmly turns his back to his father and coldly heads to the stage.

Andrew grabs new sticks, makes as though he was just switching pairs and never leaving, and, ignoring his father’s calls from behind — trains his eyes back on Fletcher.

Fletcher looks at Andrew. Seems pleased: This will be fun…

But Andrew doesn’t look scared anymore. Instead, his eyes are glassy, hollowed out — and hungry… There’s a rage in them that we haven’t seen before… This will not be the end…

FLETCHER (to the audience)

Thank you… For our final number we’re bringing it back to Ellington. This is “Caravan”.

But then, before Fletcher can even turn back around — let alone cue the band — Andrew launches into a double-time Latin.

Alone, his stick beating away at the ride cymbal, setting the tempo for the rest of the band. Everyone looks at him. What the fuck…? He has started on his own, before any cue, beating the drums as though vengefully.

Fletcher glares at him. Who the fuck do you think you are? But Andrew just keeps playing. Knows exactly what he’s doing and is not about to be stopped. Building in his eyes — that same coiled rage… To the BASSIST.

ANDREW

Follow me on four.

BASSIST

Fuck. You.

ANDREW (CONT’D)

The BASSIST has no choice. Andrew nods in time as a count-off, and the BASSIST joins in. Now we’ve got the bass and drums playing, laying out the beat. Andrew looks back at Fletcher. Drills into him with his eyes — the kind of look Fletcher has so often given him. And, subtly, so that only Fletcher can see it, Andrew mouths out two words:

It hits Fletcher. Realizing he too has no choice, Fletcher eyes the rest of the band. Raises his hands, re-assuming control — or trying to make as though he has control — and cues them in. The BAND begins CARAVAN PLUS DRUM SOLO CARNEGIE HALL, plays the opening patterns, Andrew matching them beat for beat.

Fletcher then edges toward Andrew. His back turned to the audience, only Andrew can see his face, he leans in and–

FLETCHER
I will gouge out your eyes you motherfucker.

–but Andrew promptly DROWNS HIM OUT with a crash cymbal hit. Another “fuck you”. Fletcher’s words only seem to strengthen him.

The band roars into overdrive, the brass blasting away, Andrew giving everything he’s got. Fletcher steps back. Andrew just keeps looking straight ahead at him. Unafraid now. A machine.

SOLOS begin… TROMBONE is up first… WE MOVE IN CLOSE to Andrew… He looks at his right arm… It’s still going… He himself seems surprised. He takes a chance — plays a tricky fill. Nails it. Goes again — the off-beat hi-hat accent that tripped him up in his first Studio Band rehearsal. Nails it.

The audience is silent… No murmurs this time… Back to Andrew… WE DRIFT DOWN TO HIS FEET… His right foot feathering the bass drum so fast all we can see is a blur…

WE DRIFT BACK UP… His left hand… Notes popping on the snare, the toms… Both his arms battered but utterly determined, as though with minds of their own… He breathes, breathes, beating against his fears, his doubts…

He’s in control, pouring himself into his drums — and it’s a sight to behold. Like a master dancer, movements so fast yet precise, brash yet elegant… Violent, frenetic playing, but there’s something gorgeous about it…

WE DRIFT TO FLETCHER… Still glaring at Andrew — but his face now says one thing and one thing only: This is playing he has never seen before.

The brass starts giving way to drum breaks… And Andrew makes of each break a stunner… His double-stroke rolls rip- roaring across the toms, his feet and legs switching rhythms, meters, tempos, then careening back into place… All limbs moving in a sustained frenzy, sweat splashing, mouth open, eyes blazing, the whole set vibrating, then shaking, looks like it’s about to explode…

Fletcher turns an inch toward the AUDIENCE… Sees them transfixed…

AT THE LOBBY DOORS

…Jim watches through the opened lobby doors…

ON STAGE

The number is at a peak… And Fletcher, like so many, is now just watching Andrew… The band nears the coda… The melody, the rat-a-tat-tat patterns, the squealing horns and growling saxes… The drums pushing it all forward…

Fletcher almost smiles. Was this his plan all along…?

He moves his arms, conducting again… The band reaches the final bar… The final note… He raises his hands… Sustains the note… Swings his arm down… A BLAST of horns. And the band is finished.

Except, that is, for the drums. Andrew’s still playing, launching into an extended solo…

Fletcher looks at him. Confused now. Goes up to the drums–

FLETCHER (CONT’D) Andrew — Andrew–

ANDREW (over his playing)

I’ll cue the band… Wait for my cue…

There’s nothing more Fletcher can do. Andrew’s playing grows louder, more involved, all four limbs joining in, the sound growing bigger and bigger… He has effectively taken over the stage — and all the other PLAYERS can do is watch… He is the bandleader.

Andrew looks ahead… Past Fletcher… To the darkness… To the audience… He leans forward, closes his eyes, dives in…

Sticks whirling, arms and legs belting and hammering, his head bobbing up and down, his back arched… Keeps the rudiments going on his left hand… Adds one ingredient, then another… Then a third, then a fourth…

Keeps adding and building and piling on, beyond anything he’s ever attempted… Going absolutely batshit-insane on the kit, sweat flying, hands blurring, drums trembling…

AT THE LOBBY DOORS

Jim watches Andrew — crazed, exhausted, looks like he’s pushing himself past what is safe — and knows there is no longer anything he can do about it.

He has lost.

And then — one of the USHERS steps forward from the edge of the stage. He looks at Jim — and closes the doors, blocking Jim’s view.

We linger on Jim for a moment — behind the closed door, in silence.

ON STAGE

Back to Andrew — at the height of intensity… Keeps his eyes closed… Feeling his way through this… Shooting back into the double-time… But trying to go even faster than before… Not 330… Not even 400… Trying, trying, trying to reach that mythical place, the place where only the greats live… 410… 420… Even 430…

Fletcher stands still… His eyes widening… He’s no longer calculating… Not even thinking… He’s just awed.

Murmurs throughout the AUDIENCE… Audible, even over the roar of the drum set… They can’t believe it…

435 now… 440… 443…

Which means those sticks are moving faster than a tennis ball shot across a court… Faster than Andrew has ever moved…

Faster…faster…and, finally…

…450.

Andrew OPENS HIS EYES… He’s in disbelief. The stage is his. He owns it. He breaks back into snare-based patterns, rolling around the toms, the cymbals…

Fletcher is floored. Turns, sees something extraordinary out there, just visible in the darkness of the theater…

IN THE AUDIENCE

AUDIENCE MEMBERS turning to each other… A line-up of suit- and-tie spectators whipping out phones or pads…

MANAGERS, JOURNALISTS, A&R EXECS, BANDLEADERS… A few hurrying out, as though in a mad rush, making frantic calls… More people peering INTO THE THEATER through glass doors…

ON STAGE

We TURN BACK to Andrew — his ears start RINGING… The NOISE grows with each hit, drowning out all the other noises… Andrew clenches his jaw, closes his eyes again, keeps playing, tries to ignore it… Plays harder, louder, pounding away…

Andrew’s kick drum starts to slide from the power of his playing… His sheet music falls off its stand… His crash cymbal almost falls over — but a HAND reaches in to steady it.

It’s Fletcher. Leaning over the drum set now — and, for almost the first time on-stage, not cursing or snarling at Andrew, but instead–

FLETCHER
Take it back to the snare…

Andrew considers this. It’s a good idea. He moves back to the snare…

FLETCHER (CONT’D)

Slow…
(Andrew does as suggested)

Single-stroke…

Andrew nods again… Slowly simmers the beat down… Lets his hi-hat hang open for a moment… Everything goes quiet…

Silence for a second… You can feel the hush, the anticipation, that indescribable electricity in the air…

Fletcher looks at Andrew, looks at his sticks, face brimming with hope now… Andrew begins a series of slow, clean snare hits… Right stroke, left stroke, right, left…

Up… Up…

FLETCHER (CONT’D)

Andrew nods… Ever so gradually builds up the pace… Right, left, right, left… Builds up the pace some more… Right, left, right, left… Keeps going… Speeds up more, a hair at a time… Right, left… Speeds up more.. Right, left…

Fletcher stands there, nodding, focused, like a coach at the critical moment. Waves his hand, pushing Andrew on…

Pink (9/10/2013) 105

Andrew builds the tempo more, right, left, right, left, the strokes blurring into each other, the whole thing sounding like the fire of a machine gun, like what we heard in the beginning… Right-left-right-left-right-left…

And, before we know it, we can no longer make out the individual strokes. They’re so fast that all we can hear is a single SOUND, sustained and growing in volume…

FLETCHER (CONT’D) Come on… Come on…

Andrew, goaded on, builds the volume. His single-stroke roll swelling, taking over the entire theater…

FLETCHER (CONT’D)

Come on…!! Come on!!!

Andrew builds it further… Going beyond what even he’d planned for himself — his arms like machines, the single- stroke roll building steam and power and pinning the audience in their seats… Fletcher raising his hands, beckoning Andrew forward… He and the drummer working together, player and conductor, competitor and coach…

Andrew moves to the toms, then back to the snare, then back. The bass drum and hi-hat next, every part of the set joining in, every limb, every component, everything building up, up, up…

It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen… Andrew tearing a hole through the stage, his heartbeat racing, the sweat pouring from him like a waterfall, blood gushing from his hands and staining the cymbals and drum-heads… Everything a BLUR…

Then — a BLAST OF SEPARATED SNARE HITS — and then — Andrew CHOKES the crash cymbal. A second of pure silence.

Fletcher looks at Andrew. Andrew looks at Fletcher. And then — Fletcher turns to the band, raises his hand…

…and CUES THE FINAL NOTE.

The whole band roars it out, horns hitting their highest C’s, and Andrew rolling around his drum set like a madman, cymbals and snare and toms and the entire apparatus about to burst, as WE DIVE IN CLOSE TO HIM, his instrument, his sticks, his face, all sweat and eyes about to pop, the next Buddy Rich, the next Charlie Parker — Fletcher’s only Charlie Parker — decking the stage with a climactic crash of cymbals right as, on that very last hit of hits, we–

SMASH CUT TO BLACK.

[Sandra Hildreth]

Sandra Hildreth Finds the Essence

The script I chose: 1917 By Sam Mendes & Krysty Wilson-Cairns

What I learned is that, in addition to moving the story along and provide the entertainment value, each scene delivers information necessary to show one or more of the dynamics, motivation, characterization, and storyline, very often to the subconscious.

Scene 1

Location: An open Meadow where soldiers wait for their next orders

Logline: Two soldiers are chosen for a wartime mission

Essence: Primitive conditions English soldiers endure during the First World War are shown as the two main characters are introduced.

Scene 2

Location: Still in the Trenches

Logline: It’s war. Something’s happening.

Essence: It’s not just another in the trenches. Something big is on the horizon and the main character recognizes he and his buddy are going to play a part in it.

Scene 3

Location: At the Sergeant’s tent

Logline: The enormity of an upcoming mission is revealed.

Essence: The wartime theatre has been expecting to go home. Instead, it is revealed that the enemy may be planning something big and the two chosen soldiers have been chosen for something very important.

Scene 4

Location: Inside the General’s tent

Logline: Two Lance Corporals are given their supplies and their orders after being shown sensitive intelligence information.

Essence: The two main characters are given their supplies and details of their extremely important mission after being shown information generally shared only among those of the highest ranking leaders by the highest ranking soldier of all – the General.

Scene 5

Location: Leaving the base behind

Logline: Two soldiers leave on a vitally important mission

Essence: The differences in the two soldier’s attitude about the mission are shown. One is determined to complete the mission at all costs and the other tries his best to turn back.

[Carolyn Bliesener]

Carolyn Finds the Essence

What I learned – every scene has purpose for moving the story forward. The essence is what gives the scene purpose.

Script I chose: Field of Dreams by Phil Alden Robinson

Scene 1

Location: INT. RAY AND ANNIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Logline: Ray and Annie talk about the voice in the cornfield.

Essence: Afraid of becoming his father with whom he had a troubled relationship, Ray decides to build the ball field.

Scene 2

Location: EXT. BLEACHERS – NIGHT

Logline: Ray tries out the field lights and talks about Shoeless Joe and his father.

Essence: Annie says that’s the first time she ever saw him smile when he talked about his dad.

Scene 3

Logline: INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Logline: Ray and Annie are in dire financial straits and a man appears on the field wearing an old fashioned baseball uniform.

Essence: Their sacrifice may have just paid off.

Scene 4

Location: INT. RAY AND ANNIE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Logline: Annie pushes back when Ray tries to convince her to let him go to Boston to meet Terence Mann. Then they learn they had the same dream about Ray being at Fenway and Annie relents.

Essence: Something bigger than them, some strange force is at hand.

Location: INT. CAR – DAY

Logline: Ray has to get home, the farm is in trouble. Terence decides to go with him. Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker. It’s a young Moonlight Graham.

Essence: Everything was meant to be. Ray was supposed to be there to pick up Moonlight.

SCENE

INT. ON THE ROAD – MORNING

Ray drives with purpose and speed. Mann looks relaxed.

MANN

Hell, I couldn’t quit now. I’ve got to see this ballpark.

RAY

Not everyone can see it. You might not.

MANN

I’ll give it a try.

As they turn onto the highway near the lake, a teenager with a duffel bag appears on the side of the road his arm raised in a hitchhiker’s stance. Ray pulls the car over to the side of the road.

RAY

I need all the karma I can get right now.

The car stops and the teenager runs for it. He tosses his duffle bag in the backseat and squeezes in after it.

TEENAGER

Thanks. You’re the first car by. I didn’t expect to get a lift so soon.

Ray starts the car back onto the highway.

RAY

How far are you going?

TEENAGER

How far are YOU going?

RAY

Iowa.

TEENAGER

Well if it’s okay with you, I’ll ride along for awhile. I play baseball.

Ray and Mann exchange brief smiles.

TEENAGER
I’m looking for a place to play and I heard all through the Midwest, towns have teams, and in some places they’ll find you a day job so you can play ball nights and weekends.

RAY

This is your lucky day, kid. We’re going someplace kind of like that.

TEENAGER

All right!

RAY

I’m Ray Kinsella and this is Terry Mann.

TEENAGER

Hi, I’m Archie Graham.

Mann and Ray just look at each other.

And the little Datsun heads off down the highway.

Essence:

Mystery solved as to why Ray and Terry went to Minnesota in the first place. And that dreams can live for ever. There is a greater purpose that we are unaware of.

[Vaughn Roste]

Vaughn Finds the Essence

What I learned is a single relationship can be a metaphor for all relationships, and cultures.

Script I choose: Dances With Wolves – Michael Blake, 1989 – a movie that touched me greatly

Scene 1 Location: Fort Sedgewick. Dunbar is alone. p. 24.

Logline: Dunbar first encounters the wolf. His training tells him to shoot it – but he reconsiders, and lowers his gun.

Essence: Foreshadowing Dunbar’s character arc, this scene relates that Dunbar has a love for nature – and, of crucial import for this story, is willing to reconsider what he has been taught. He can make friends – and learn.

Scene 2 Location: Fort Sedgewick. Dunbar first meets a “wild Indian.” p. 27-29.

Logline: Dunbar’s first encounter with the indigenous population does not go well for either party – both of them are scared silly. Dunbar thinks they were stealing his horse and prepares to defend himself, but Kicking Bird was really only curious – and was surprised to be accosted by a naked white man.

Essence: Dunbar feels threatened and makes preparations – but his line “the man I encountered was a magnificent looking fellow” reveals that he too is curious, and on an intellectual level at least, attracted to the natives.

Scene 3 Location: The Prairie. A Knoll – Day. p. 41-42

Logline: Dunbar assertively takes matters into his own hands and rides out to meet the Sioux in full regalia. He encounters Stands with a First first, in the act of committing suicide. Again, his first impression is terrible, as Old Glory flies across his face. He tries to help her – she runs. He bandages her injuries with strips of fabric cut from the flag.

Essence: Dunbar is not here to hurt them – and is willing to forgo symbols of his nation to help.

Scene 4 Location: Feasting Fire – Night. p. 64-65

Logline: Dunbar has saved the life of Smiles a Lot, a Sioux adolescent in the buffalo run, and the tribe is celebrating a huge success. Wind in His Hair, the great warrior, takes an interest in Dunbar’s tunic, and trades him for his breastplate.

Essence: Dunbar has proven his worth and earned everyone’s respect – and Wind in his Hair’s trade is a symbol of acceptance and friendship.

Scene 5 Location: Kicking Bird’s Lodge – Night. p. 82

Logline: Black Shawl, the chief’s wife, wants to know how things are going with Dunbar, who has been given the honorary name of Dances with Wolves. Stands with a Fist says he is learning well.

Essence: In this really short scene, what Black Shawl is really doing is inquiring about Stand With a Fist’s feelings around Dunbar – and considering match-making them.

My selection for most profound essence: Location: Canyon Trail – Day p. 132

Logline: Dances with Wolves must leave the Sioux camp, people he has grown to love, because he is viewed as a traitor and will be hunted, and does not want to endanger the tribe. Wind in his Hair has never been good with words, and does not know how to say goodbye – so he shouts it from the canyon ridge – you will always be my friend.

Essence: In the emotional climax of the movie, his emotions overpower Wind in his hair, and the fearsome warrior we were first presented with acknowledges his friendship and love for Dances with Wolves. Beyond the love between two men, already so difficult to express, however, this is love between two humans – and love between two tribes.

[Douglas Ryan]

Douglas Ryan Finds the Essence

What I learned is that if you can get that Essence to an early scene you can set the tone and essence for the entire script, regardless of which character is giving the essence in a scene.

Script I choose: The Thing (1982) second draft by Bill Lancaster

Scene 1 Location: Beginning Act 1
Logline: MacReady plays a game of chess against a computer while hiding out in his shack.

Essence: MacReady thinks he has the upper hand on the game but finds out he actually made the mistake, not the computer. Instead of giving in gracefully he pours his drink into the circuitry killing the machine and any chance of a rematch.

Scene 2 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: MacReady and Dr. Cooper fly to the Norwegian outpost.

Essence: MacReady and Dr. Cooper explore the grotesque scene that has unfolded at this compound. There could be more to why the Norwegians were shooting at them.

Scene 3 Location: End of Act 1
Logline: The rescued dog that the Norwegians were trying to kill wanders the research facility.

Essence: The dog goes from room to room searching for something. It stops at a room and enters, we do not know who is in the room, but they are alone and the door shuts violently.

Scene 4 Location: Middle of Act 2
Logline: MacReady holds the others hostage to prove a theory.

Essence: MacReady collects blood from the remaining men and himself in petrie dishes. He heats a metal chord and shows that he is not alien. He explains that this is how they can tell who is human.

Scene 5 Location: Final Scene
Logline: MacReady blows up The Thing and the camp, when Childs shows up frostbitten and exhausted.

Essence: Childs makes mentions of survival but MacReady pulls out a chess set and says that they shouldn’t call for help, as there is no reason to survive. Plus he says they are in no shape to fight if they are human or not.

My selection for most profound essence:

EXT. U.S. OUTPOST #31

Norris, bundled in his sixty-five pounds of clothing, exits

the main compound. He walks the prefab wooden planks up the

precipice; his destination is someone a hundred yards up the

slope — to a shack. He grabs onto the steadying ropes and

pulls himself against the wind and blowing sleet.

INT. MACREADY’S SHACK – CLOSE ON ICE CUBES

being dumped into a glass, followed by the pouring of whiskey.

An electronic Voice is heard.

VOICE

Bishop to knight four.

MacReady takes a sip of his drink; makes his way over to his

electronic chess game. A large Mexican sombrero hangs on his

back. He is tall; about thirty-five. His shack is sparse but

unkempt. A few centerfolds on the wall are interspersed by

an occasional poster of some Mediterranean or South American

paradise.

The chess game is of larger than normal size. The pieces

move automatically with the press of a button. He sits down

and chuckles over his opponent’s bad move.

MACREADY

Poor little son of a bitch. You’re

starting to lose it, aren’t you?

He confidently taps out his move. His companion’s response

is immediate.

VOICE

Pawn takes queen at knight four.

MacReady’s grin slowly fades as he examines the board. There

is a pounding at his door. MacReady broods for a bit, heedless

of his visitor and makes his next move.

VOICE

Rook to knight six. Check.

More impatient pounding. MacReady glares at his opponent for

a beat. He bends forward, opens up a flap containing the

chess game’s circuitry and pours in his drink. There ensues

a snapping, popping sound as smoke and sparks rise from the

machine; followed by a flush of chess gibberish.

MacReady gets up from his seat, mumbling on his way to the

door.

MACREADY

…Cheating bastard…

He opens the door. Norris steps in followed by a flurry of

snow and wind.

NORRIS

You jerking off or just pissed?

MACREADY

We got any more of those electronic

chess things down in supply?

NORRIS

Get your gear on.

MACREADY

What for?

The reason why this is the essence of the scene is because when MacReady thinks he’s beaten the odds, he hasn’t, and by pouring the drink into the computer its a lose-lose situation. It’s highlighted in the ending as MacReady blows up the compound thinking he won, but realizing he’s lost because Childs could easily be The Thing. Just like he pours the drink into the chess computer, if he can’t win no-one wins.

[Monica Arisman]

SUBJECT: Monica Finds the Essence

What I learned doing this assignment is to remember to find the clarity in each scene with each component of the scene.

Select five scenes from a produced script and tell what you believe the essence is.

The movie I selected is HIDDEN FIGURES.

Scene 1: Location: Opening

Logline: Katherine is special and everyone in town knows it and wants her to succeed.

Essence: Katherine is 8 years old and she’s brilliant.

Scene 2: Location: Mid Act 1

Logline: Mary has the mind of an engineer not a computer and Zielinski is going to help her get into the training program.

Essence: Mary knows if she was a white guy she’d already be an engineer.

Scene 3: Location: Start of Act 2

Logline: Mary, Dorothy and Katherine are brilliant Black women who work at NASA.

Essence: It’s a white man’s world getting ahead may be impossible.

Scene 4: Location: Act 2

Logline: Mary and Dorothy set Katherine up with Colonel Jim Johnson after church.

Essence: Katherine speaks her mind when Jim acts like a man thinking women can’t do math.

Scene 5: Location: Act 2 Turning Point

Logline: Harrison rights a wrong – takes down the “Coloured” bathroom sign.

Essence: Harrison said it – “At NASA we all pee the same colour.”

[Kate Schank]

Kathleen Schank

Finds the Essence

Shawshank Redemption- Writer/Director Frank Darabont,

Based upon the story, “Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption”

by Stephen King

Lesson1:

– Essence of concept

– Essence of story

– Essence of character

– Essence of situation

– Essence of action

– Essence of dialogue

Scene 1 Location: prison yard

Scene59-

Logline: Beer for the prisoners

Essence: Salvation in the form of suds arrives, justice for all and all for one at least for the day. Thanks to Andy.

Scene 2 Location: Andy’s Cell

Scene 86

Logline: Warden Norton arrives to see Andy’s Rita Hayworth poster and quote the Bible. “Watch ye therefore, for ye know not when the master of the house cometh”

Essence: A tense moment as we anticipate what will happen once Norton catches a glimpse of Rita. Andy is allowed to keep his salvation girl, his breath of fresh air. Andy is also given the chance to prove he’s intelligent and knows every Bible Verse.

Scene 3 Location: Brook’s Room

Scene 119-

Logline: Brooks hangs himself after carving ”Brooks was here over the railing in his room.”

Essence: Brooks no longer wants to tolerate life as a lonely old man, who is now supposed to be changed, a real member of society. He commits suicide to have life without the boys over with.

Scene 4 Location: Mess Hall

Scene 131

Logline: Andy eats lunch after returning from solitary confinement and describes his love for Mozart and how his spirit lives in him.

Essence: Andy expresses his discovery of freedom in the truth of musical appreciation which is similar to hope which can’t be taken away.

Scene 5 Location: Beach Shore

Scene299

Logline: Red rejoins Andy after being released on the shoreline.

Essence: This is the ultimate joy, the final release of both painand pleasure as they meet again, now both in freedom. The shoreline horizon expresses the beauty of an ultimate paradise which they both share as they do their friendship.

My selection for most profound essence:

I think that this, the last scene of the movie, is the best example of the most profound essence which seems to be like mankind’s escape heavenward. In the movie it is often shown in scenes from inside the prison and the prisoners own personal salvations such as gifts from Red, like the poster of Rita Hayworth. I think that many viewers will shed tears at this finale, both of joy and sorrow; the kind of sorrow that life is made of as there are so many sufferings to forebear; hopefully together.

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen finds the Essence

What I’ve learned is that I naturally extract the essence of a scene struggle with the Logline. I’ve realized this whenever I try to write a logline for a book or screenplay as well. My loglines sound more like essences than stories.

Script I chose: Just Go With It by Allan Loeb

Scene 1: Opening Scene between Katherine and Danny (would take the place of a meet cute)

Logline: Danny declares he could get serious about a 23-yo he met and Katherine explains a Devlin

Essence: Danny and Katherine know all (nearly) of each other’s secrets and are honest with each other

Scene 2: Inciting incident

Logline: Danny tells Palmer he is going through a divorce

Essence: Danny tells the first lies (he is divorcing a wife named Devlin).

Scene 3: End of Act 1

Logline: Devlin finds out Danny and Katherine have kids

Essence: Katherine breaks character (Devlin) to take a phone call from her kids and Palmer wants to meet Danny’s kids.

Scene 4: Midpoint

Logline: (Midpoint) Katherine is goes for a swim in the waterfall and Danny is amazed.

Essence: Danny sees Katherine in a swim suit and begins to see her as something more than his assistant

Scene 5: Pinch Point 2

Logline: Katherine and Danny get real while playing a game on a dare by Katherine’s nemesis

Essence: Katherine and Danny accidentally confess what they love most in each other because of a dare, but both realize something has changed between them.

Selected scene:

INT. OCEANO’S – CONTINUOUS

DANNY

Okay, so what do we do here?

DEVLIN

Look each other in the eyes and say what you love about each other.

Katherine and Danny awkwardly turn and look each other in the eyes

DANNY

Hello.

KATHERINE

Hello.

DANNY

So tell me what you love about me.

KATHERINE

Well, I love…what a good doctor you are.

DEVLIN

Keep going.

KATHERINE

I love your sense of humor, and …your stories, and your advice…and how you secretly have a big heart, full of kindness and humility and…

DANNY

Blood?

KATHERINE

…blood. Yeah, I don’t know, you’re just a very nice person that I like…love being around.

DANNY

(touched)

Thank you.

DEVLIN

Danny?

DANNY

Well, I love the Brazilian wax that you’re constantly showing me…And your sense of humor, and your stories, and your advice…

DEVLIN

(too harsh)

No repeats!

DANNY

Whoa, I didn’t know we were being graded

(back to Katherine)

Um, I love.how you do stuff. Never for yourself, always for the rest of us. In all honesty, I’d be lost without you. You are…the only person I’ve never lied to.

He realizes as he says it that he means it.

DANNY (CONT’D)

And you’re a great mother. And your smile. It’s an amazing smile. When I see it, that’s actually when my day starts

Katherine is touched. They stare at each other for a beat. They might have a moment when Devlin breaks the mood.

DEVLIN

I won best smile at our sorority three years straight. Remember, Katherine?

KATHERINE

Yes, I do

Danny and Katherine now loo away from each other feeling self-conscious.

END SCENE

Essence: IU believe this is the scene where the characters realize they do love each other in a way they had never considered — not just colleagues any more.

I believe this had the most profound essence because it is so easy for them to pretend they’re married and they’ve just confessed things they feel about the other, but Danny is marrying someone else so Katherine is sad/disappointed that they had this moment too late and Danny begins to wonder if he is doing the right thing.

[Cindi Delinsky]

Cindi Finds the Essence

What I learned is that I never thought about how many different ways the essence of a scene can be expressed. I also learned the importance of being clear about the essence and how being unclear can cause problems. This is a skill I would love to improve for myself.

The script I chose: SOUND OF METAL

Scene 1 Location: Middle of Act 1

Logline: After a doctor tells Ruben he should focus on preserving his hearing, he still plays the drums in the show with Lou.

Essence: Ruben is in denial about becoming deaf, and he doesn’t want to tell Lou or for things to change.

Scene 2 Location: Beginning of Act 2

Logline: As Lou and Ruben discuss what to do about their tour now that he’s deaf, Ruben goes to smoke. Lou calls his sponsor.

Essence: Ruben is a recovering addict, and Lou sees smoking as a sign he’s in trouble.

Scene 3 Location: Beginning of Act 3

Logline: After selling their tour bus and being kicked out of rehab, Ruben’s cochlear implants are activated, but the sound is harsh and disappointing. He wants to cry.

Essence: Ruben realizes his surgery will not make his life “normal” again, and he may have made a mistake.

Scene 4 Location: Near End of Act 3

Logline: As Ruben talks to the now vibrant, healthy Lou about resuming their band and tour, she resumes her old habit of anxiously scratching her skin.

Essence: Ruben realizes they both have changed while he was at rehab, and they can no longer be together.

Scene 5 Location: Final Scene of Act 3

Logline: Ruben leaves Lou’s house and is overwhelmed by a cacophony of chaotic and painful sounds produced by his cochlear implant. Enraged, he removes the device, and in stillness, he finds peace.

Essence: Ruben has transformed from believing deafness destroyed his world to finding profound peace and meaning in silence.

My selection for most profound essence:

Scene 5 Location: Final Scene of Act 3

Logline: Ruben leaves Lou’s house and is overwhelmed by a cacophony of chaotic and painful sounds produced by his cochlear implant. Enraged, he removes the device, and in stillness, he finds peace.

Essence: Ruben has transformed from believing deafness destroyed his world to finding profound peace and meaning in silence.

EXT. RICHARD’S APARTMENT – MORNING

Ruben opens the door to the street and steps out with his

bag. Even the early morning street noise hits his brain hard.

EXT. PARIS – MOMENTS LATER

Now Paris is awake and loud as Ruben walks through it. The

sound kills his head…

EXT. PARIS STREET – LATER

Ruben sits on a bench in front of a cathedral square as the

sounds of tourists, flocking pigeons, children, coalesce in a

crazy horrible cacophony. Then, to add to the chorus the

church bells start ringing. Their clanging slams at Ruben’s

brain. The world around him is a crazy chaotic mess. His

first impulse is rage. He reaches up and removes the devices

from his ears. Everything goes instantly silent. He breathes.

The morning sun breaks over the slate on the steeple. He

breathes again, something shifts, his eyes fall over the many

moments around him, no longer abrasive, they each have a

singular, silent beauty. He looks up at the church bells as

they swing silently back and forth…

Essence: Ruben has transformed from believing deafness destroyed his world to finding profound peace and meaning in silence.

I believe this is the essence because this scene made me want to cry. It feels like a profound expression of how unfortunate events in our lives can become gifts. Ruben’s journey had been one of dreading and fearing deafness, making a sacrifice to get cochlear implants so he could be with his girlfriend and bandmate again, and then, in the end, losing his girlfriend, hating the oppressive way he hears through the implant, and seemingly losing everything. And yet, in this final scene, we see that through his journey, he found profound peace and meaning in silence, something he never experienced before losing his hearing.

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca Finds the Essence

What I learned from this is to look at the scene from a different perspective and to guess the essence by how it is portrayed in the scene.

The Queens Gambit

Location: Act 1 Scene 10

Logline – Social Services leads Beth into her isolated tired trailer home with dishes in the sink as Beth stares at a half drunk glass of milk with lipstick on the rim as the woman talks about funeral arrangements.

Essence: Beth still feels her mother’s presence in the room , she connects by holding the glass to her lips as reality of the loss grips her.

2. Location: Act 1 Scene 7

Logline – Beth, unhappy with fame, arrives late for her match with her greatest chess nemesis.

Essence – She arrives late and hungover because she is tired of the limelight, the loneliness of fame, and to prolong the facing a loss that she fears and yet welcomes.

3. Location: Act 1 Scene 8

Logline – Beth relives the fear of the accident that killed her mother and the guilt of remaining alive and unhurt.

Essence – A murder/suicide attempt by her mother, crashing head on into a truck at high speed, failed to kill her daughter and left her all alone.

4. Location: Act 1 Scene 17

Logline – Mrs. Deardorff show Beth her bed, the worst location in the room, and where to place her clothes as she prattles on that her life has changed for the better while Beth ignores her.

Essence – Beth’s knows her life has changed but not for the better.

5. Location: Scene 35

Logline – Beth watches as the janitor plays a game of chess and fascinated, attempts to figure out the game he plays.

Essence – She becomes absorbed in trying to figure out the game and for the first time experiences a moment of peace as the ptsd and pain of her loss disappears with her concentration.

My selection for most profound essence:

EXT. KENTUCKY HIGHWAY – DAY 8

VOICE

What are we supposed to do with

her?

AND NOW BETH AT 20 BECOMES BETH AT 9

The little girl staring at Camera.

ANOTHER VOICE They’re sending someone.

BEGIN PANNING AWAY FROM BETH…

TO LOOK DOWN a ribbon of empty Kentucky Highway, hung with low fog, as the PAN CONTINUES ACROSS THE HIGHWAY–

VOICE

Not a scratch on her.

–to A TRAFFIC ACCIDENT. Car versus Truck. Head on. The car flattened, is wedged deep under the front end of the bigger vehicle. The TRUCK DRIVER stands away from it smoking, eyes on A BODY that lies on the asphalt covered in a sheet. Now–

CONTINUE PANNING TO LOOK UP THE HIGHWAY…

TO FIND A COUPLE OF COPS standing there holding a LONG LINE OF TRAFFIC, the makes of the cars put us in the late fifties. SIRENS and FLASHING LIGHTS of rescue vehicles in the distance driving up the shoulder…

COP #1 It’s a miracle.

The other cop looks back down as CAMERA COMPLETES ITS CIRCLE and once again FINDS BETH, in a cotton dress, staring at the body on the ground.

AS THE SIRENS GET LOUDER–

Essence: Beth relives the fear of the accident that killed her mother and the feels the guilt of remaining alive and unhurt. Did her mother fail to kill both of them?

I believe this is the essence based on the condition of the car and the trauma it caused Beth throughout the story.

[Michael Greco]

Michael Greco Finds the Essence (Creative Mastery Lesson 1 7.11.2021)

What I learned is that the layers of a well-crafted screenplay yield substantial riches, while providing a compelling through-line for the story.

Script I choose: Chinatown, by Robert Towne (1974).

Scene 1 Location: Walsh’s and Duffy’s Office
Logline: A poised middle-aged lady posing as Mrs. Evelyn Mulwray, wife of Water Commissioner Hollis Mulwray, engages Gittes to cull evidence of Mulwray’s purported extra-marital philandering.
Essence: Jake Gittes revealed as attentive and charming, especially to women – and also as being over-impressed by wealth and high-powered people; opportunistic-to-greedy. The revelation of the ruse by publishing the affair in the major L.A. newspaper, which Gittes did not expect at all, will reveal him to be somewhat gullible, under-vigilant, too trusting.

Scene 2 Location: Mrs. Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Mrs. Mulwray entertains Gittes, agrees to summarily drop the defamation lawsuit she had filed against Gittes, and resists discussing the targeting of Mulwray further.
Essence: Gittes sees that Mrs. Mulwray does not trust him, and is unlikely to let him know all the facts about her family and the smear campaign against Hollis Mulwray.

Scene 3 Location: Adelaide Drive Bungalow where Evelyn Mulwray’s daughter Katherine is being kept.
Logline: Gittes strikes violently Evelyn Mulwray several times, forcing her admission that her daughter is the product of Noah Cross’ rape of Evelyn Mulwray.
Essence: Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.

Scene 4 Location: Mulwray’s home.
Logline: Noah Cross confronted by Gittes, who accuses him of murdering Mulwray in the salt-water pond, and of alienating his daughter and grand-daughter. Cross brushes off Gittes and has his henchman seize the bi-focal eyeglasses from him, demonstrating his grandeur and power.
Essence: Gittes sees a whole new level of power-brokering and Hobbesian manipulation/ domination; realizes he is up against overwhelming forces when he asks Cross what good would another $10M do Cross, “[what would it buy that you don’t already have?]” to which Cross responds, “The Future, Mr. Gittes. The Future.”

Scene 5 Location: Los Angeles street in Chinatown.
Logline: As Evelyn Mulwray drives away with her daughter, Noah Cross accosts them to stop them. Gittes has Evelyn flee with Katherine in Duffy’s car, as Escobar is trying to arrest Evelyn for brandishing a gun. A uniformed police officer on the scene shoots at fleeing Evelyn in the car, striking Evelyn in the head with the bullet shooting through her eye, to the horror of her screaming daughter.
Essence: Gittes feels utterly helpless against Cross and his power empire – he cannot even challenge Cross, who has prevented Evelyn from being able to reveal the rape and incest and is now trying to ‘console’ his hysterical daughter/granddaughter. Gittes’ partner Walsh signals their helplessness, as he can only pull Gittes away saying “Forget it, Jake – it’s Chinatown.”

My selection for most profound essence: (Post scene here without worrying
about formatting and then also post the essence and why you believe that is
the essence).

SCENE 3 – Bungalow where Evelyn is keeping her daughter Katherine.

EXT. BUNGALOW-HOUSE – ADELAIDE DRIVE

Gittes pulls up in Mulwray’s Buick. He hurries to the front door, pounds on it. The Chinese servant answers the door.

CHINESE SERVANT You wait.

GITTES (short sentence in Chinese) You wait.

Gittes pushes past him. Evelyn, looking a little worn but glad to see him hurries to the door. She takes Gittes’ arm.

EVELYN How are you? I was calling you.

She looks at him, searching his face.

GITTES — Yeah?

They move into the living room. Gittes is looking around it.

EVELYN Did you get some sleep?

GITTES Sure.

EVELYN Did you have lunch? Kyo will fix you something –

GITTES (abruptly) — where’s the girl?

EVELYN Upstairs. Why?

GITTES I want to see her.

EVELYN …she’s having a bath now… why do you want to see her?

Gittes continues to look around. He sees clothes laid out for packing in a bedroom off the living room.

GITTES Going somewhere?

EVELYN Yes, we’ve got a 4:30 train to catch. Why?

Gittes doesn’t answer. He goes to the phone and dials.

GITTES J. J. Gittes for Lieutenant Escobar.

EVELYN What are you doing? What’s wrong? I told you we’ve got a 4:30 –

GITTES (cutting her off) You’re going to miss your train!

(then, into phone)

Lou, meet me at 1412 Adelaide it’s above Santa Monica Canyon… yeah, soon as you can.

EVELYN What did you do that for?

GITTES (a moment, then) You know any good criminal lawyers?

EVELYN (puzzled) — no…

GITTES Don’t worry — I can recommend a couple. They’re expensive but you can afford it.

EVELYN (evenly but with great anger) What the hell is this all about?

Gittes looks at her — then takes the handkerchief out Of his breast pocket — unfolds it on a coffee table, revealing the bifocal glasses, one lens still intact. Evelyn stares dumbly at them.

GITTES I found these in your backyard — in your fish pond. They belonged to your husband, didn’t they?… didn’t they?

EVELYN I don’t know. I mean yes, probably.

GITTES — yes positively. That’s where he was drowned…

EVELYN What are you saying? GITTES There’s no time for you to be shocked by the truth, Mrs. Mulwray. The coroner’s report proves he was killed in salt water. Just take my word for it. Now I want to know how it happened and why. I want to know before Escobar gets here because I want to hang onto my license.

EVELYN — I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is the most insane… the craziest thing I ever…

Gittes has been in a state of near frenzy himself. gets up, shakes her.

GITTES Stop it! I’ll make it easy. –You were jealous, you fought, he fell, hit his head — it was an accident — but his girl is a witness. You’ve had to pay her off. You don’t have the stomach to harm her, but you’ve got the money to shut her up. Yes or no?

EVELYN … no…

GITTES Who is she? And don’t give me that crap about it being your sister. You don’t have a sister.

Evelyn is trembling.

EVELYN I’ll tell you the truth…

Gittes smiles.

GITTES That’s good. Now what’s her name?

EVELYN — Katherine.

GITTES Katherine?… Katherine who?

EVELYN — she’s my daughter.

Gittes stares at her. He’s been charged with anger and when Evelyn says this it explodes. He hits her full in the face. Evelyn stares back at him. The blow has forced tears from her eyes, but she makes no move, not even to defend herself.

GITTES I said the truth!

EVELYN — she’s my sister –

Gittes slaps her again.

EVELYN (continuing) — she’s my daughter.

Gittes slaps her again.

EVELYN (continuing) — my sister.

He hits her again.

EVELYN (continuing) My daughter, my sister –

He belts her finally, knocking her into a cheap Chinese vase which shatters and she collapses on the sofa, sobbing.

GITTES I said I want the truth.

EVELYN (almost screaming it) She’s my sister and my daughter!

Kyo comes running down the stairs.

EVELYN (continuing; in Chinese) For God’s sake, Kyo, keep her upstairs, go back!

Kyo turns after staring at Gittes for a moment then goes back upstairs.

EVELYN (continuing) — my father and I, understand, or is it too tough for you?

Gittes doesn’t answer.

EVELYN (continuing) … he had a breakdown… the dam broke… my mother died… he became a little boy… I was fifteen… he’d ask me what to eat for breakfast, what clothes to wear!… It happened… then I ran away…

GITTES to Mexico…

She nods.

EVELYN Hollis came and took… care of me… after she was born… he said… he took care of her… I couldn’t see her… I wanted to but I couldn’t… I just want to see her once in a while… take care of her… that’s all… but I don’t want her to know… I don’t want her to know…

GITTES … so that’s why you hate him…

Evelyn looks slowly up at Gittes.

EVELYN — no… for turning his back on me after it happened! He couldn’t face it… (weeping) I hate him.

Gittes suddenly feels the need to loosen his tie.

GITTES — yeah… where are you taking her now?

EVELYN Back to Mexico.

GITTES You can’t go by train. Escobar’ll be looking for you everywhere.

EVELYN How about a plane?

GITTES That’s worse… Just get out of here — walk out, leave everything.

EVELYN I have to go home and get my things –

GITTES — I’ll take care of it.

EVELYN Where can we go?

GITTES …where does Kyo live?

EVELYN — with us.

GITTES On his day off. Get the exact address.

EVELYN — okay…

She stops suddenly.

EVELYN Those didn’t belong to Hollis.

For a moment Gittes doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Then he follows her gaze to the glasses lying on his handkerchief.

GITTES How do you know?

EVELYN He didn’t wear bifocals.

Gittes picks up the glasses, stares at the lens, is momentarily lost in them. EVELYN from the stairs. She has her arm around Katherine.

EVELYN Say hello to Mr. Gittes, sweetheart.

KATHERINE (from the stairs) Hello.

GITTES rises a little shakily from the arm of the sofa. GITTES Hello. With her arm around the girl, talking in Spanish, Evelyn hurries her toward the bedroom. In a moment she re-emerges.

EVELYN (calling down) — he lives at 1712 Alameda… do you know where that is?

REACTION – GITTES He nods slowly.

GITTES — sure. It’s Chinatown.

As mentioned above, Gittes sees in full measure the dominion Noah Cross exercises over those closest to him, his own daughter, and the viciousness and evil that is Noah Cross and the power structure he has created. Gittes and Evelyn make a plan for Evelyn to flee to Mexico with Katherine, or to Chinatown to hide – to escape Cross. Gittes sees for the first time that Evelyn is equally innocent as Katherine, and that Evelyn is attempting to protect Katherine from Cross.

The scene is especially powerful and pivotal in the movie because at the beginning of the scene Gittes thinks Evelyn was involved in murdering Hollis Mulwray. By the end of the scene he has a completely different understanding of Evelyn’s relationship to Hollis, to Katherine, and to Cross. And Evelyn negates Gittes’ evidence that he found Hollis’ eyeglasses in the salt water pond where he believes Hollis was murdered, noting that Hollis did not wear bifocals.

Finally, the resolution of the scene has Evelyn, Katherine and Gittes forced to go to Chinatown, bringing up Gittes’ own tortured past.

—————————–

Cheers,

Michael Greco

michaelgreco18@yahoo.com

[I hope I am in the right place!]

[Cecilia Gonzales]

Celia Finds the Essence

What I’ve learned: layers of essence can be introduced in varying degrees at any time in the storyline to clarify and create/maintain tension. Upon the conclusion of the story, the material woven by essences can leave the audience with more questions than answers.

Script: “Unforgiven”

Scene 1) Location: Opening sequence word crawl.

Logline: Munny is a highly questionable choice as a husband for a respectable woman.

Essence: Establishes the conundrum of whether or not Munny is a redeemable human.

Scene 2) Location: Ned’s Logan’s farm

Logline: Sally Two Trees watches Ned and Munny leave on their mission to kill for pay,, the men who maimed the prostitute Delilah.

Essence: Sally represents both society and Munny’s own conscience, both of whom doubt his ability to change for the better.

Scene 3) Location: Farmhouse, Manny and Delilah

Logline: Manny awkwardly turns down Delilah’s offer of a “free advance”.

Essence: Munny’s complete trust and respect for his late wife leads him to believe in himself, however reluctantly.

Scene 4) Location: Field outside Bar T ranch, Manny and The Kid

Logline: The Kid reveals that his murder of Quick Bill in the outhouse was his first kill, both disappointing and regretted.

Essence: We build ourselves up and slam ourselves into the dirt without needing assistance from the universe.

Scene 5) Location: Ned’s body outside Greely’s

Logline: Ned’s battered body, posted as a warning outside Greely’s, pushes Munny past his breaking point.

Essence: This visual illustrates Munny’s decision to descend to the man he had left behind; listening to the description of Ned’s death, he prepared himself for revenge, but the inner demons were not unleashed until that moment.

Scene 2 is my choice for the most profound essence.

EXT. LOGAN’S FARM, CLOSE VIEW – DAY

The sad,, wide eyes of Sally Two Trees as she watches the two riders disappearing in the distance. Her eyes are saying goodbye.

Sally stands for all of us who wonder how Munny’s wife saw the soul in him that the rest of us, including Munny, find so difficult to identify. Is he, or are we, as fellow flawed human beings, doomed to remove ourselves from potential forgiveness as we continue to mortgage our souls?

[Tom Wilson]

Tom Wilson Finds the Essence

What I learned is there can be great depth to good writing. I must find or devise the essence to give it the deepest possible meaning.

Script I choose: EYE IN THE SKY

Scene 1 Location: Page 5 of Act One

Logline: An army colonel replies to an email from a soldier who lost his legs in a bombing.

Essence: This female colonel is profoundly moved by the loss a soldier in her command suffered. She talks him out of committing suicide, assures him he’s needed and she’ll get him a new assignment that will give him purpose to continue living.

Scene 2 Location: Page 11 of Act One

Logline: The colonel tells her husband she doesn’t her sons must not have their girlfriends spending the night in their house without her permission.

Essence: She’s just viewed horrible pictures of poor people brutally killed by terrorists and won’t put up with privileged young people who haven’t a clue what real life is like.

Scene 3 Location: Page 15 of Act One

Logline: A teenage girl is Nairobi hides her textbook when a customer enters her father’s shop.

Essence: Muslim law forbids girls from being educated. She could be tortured if she’s found studying.

Scene 4 Location: Page 18 of Act One

Logline: A young soldier greets his waitress mom who returns from a long nightshift. She apologizes for having to come and stay with him.

Essence: She feels guilty for intruding because she’s going through a tough time in her life.

Scene 5 Location: Page 47 of Act Two

Logline: Again, the father scolds his teenage daughter for twirling a hula hoop with her hips when a man enters his shop.

Essence: He fears the man supports the militia that enforces Sharia law and will report her.

[Aurora AURORA Harris HARRIS]

CM #1 assignment

Aurora Finds the Essence in Casa Blanca

I learned the essence can be simple, despite being buried in a pile of story details.

Scene 1 page 10 in Act One

Logline: Ugarte entrusts Rick with the stolen transit papers taken from the murdered couriers.

Essence:Rick is a stone cold businessman without emotion, but has strong principles that can’t be bought.

Scene 2 page 35 – Turning point

Logline: Laszlo & Ilsa come into the Café looking for Ugarte, startling Rick. He breaks precedent by having a tense drink with the couple.

Essence:Ilsa and Rick have a strong emotional history

Scene 3page 59 Midpoint

Logline: Rick is drunk when Ilsa comes alone to explain her relationship with Laszlo.

Essence:Rick was and is still emotionally devastated by being jilted by Ilsa.

Scene 4 page 99 end of Act Two

Logline: Ilsa returns alone to Rick’s room to beg, threatened and break his heart

Essence, Ilsa still loves Rick, but returned to her husband Laszlo out of duty, when she discovered he was not dead.

Scene 5 page 121 , Resolution of Act Three

Logline: Rick forces Renault to sign the transit papers, and insists, over Ilsa’s objection, that she go with her husband Laszlo on the flight to freedom

Essence:Rick makes the principled decision that the lovers will sacrifice their selfish desires for the greater good, satisfying themselves with their memories together in Paris.

Discussion:. Ilsa took a principled stand when she “jilted” Rick, despite loving him more than Lazslo, when she discovered her husband was not dead but still alive and had survived a concentration camp. Rick recovers from his cold hearted state with the solace that Isla did love him and still loves him. This allows Rick’s nobler principles to resurface. Both he and Ilsa know that Ilsa should stay with Laszlo the famous freedom fighter and support him in that work, that their lives are not as important as the cause Laszlo represents. So even though Ilsa is swept away with emotions in seeing Rick again, Rick knows that someday she will regret not being principled and honoring her marriage vows.

[Hope McPherson]

Assisgnment1-finds the essence

Hope McPherson finds the essence

What I learned: I’ve watched GROUNDHOG’S DAY many, many times over the years. Breaking it down to the essence made Phil’s character arc really stand out. (Additionally, I saw a lot of scenes in this version that never made it into the finished film, and none of them were really needed in the scheme of things. In this case, all those extra scenes gave Harold Ramos a chance to stitch together the best of the best.)

Scene 1 location: Beginning of Act 1

Logline: Phil is voluntold he’s covering Groundhog’s Day

Essence: Phil is cynical and doesn’t care that he’s unpopular with co-workers.

Scene 2 location: End of Act 1 EXT. GOBBLER’S KNOB – DAWN end of

Logline: Phil reports on the ground-hog events live.

Essence: A skilled professional, Phil lets his cynicism get the best of him when he adds wisecracks throughout the segment.

Scene 3 location: End of Act 2 INT. DEW DROP INN – LATER THAT NIGHT

Logline: Phil gets drunk in bar with two blue-collar workers, asking them how they’d deal with a repeating day.

Essence: Phil is now hopelessness about his situation, knowing nothing stops it.

Scene 4 location: Middle of Act 3 EXT. GOBBLER’S KNOB – DAWN

Logline: Phil gives his groundhog report with more interest and information than ever before, impressing Rita.

Essence: Resigned to his February 2 fate, Phil has traded cynicism for professionalism.

Scene 5 location: End of Act 3 INT. PARTY ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Logline: Rita follows Phil around town as he helps town residents, and she becomes more impressed with him and even falls in love.

SCENE:

Phil and Rita walk into a banquet room decorated with streamers, balloons and flowers. There is a long buffet table and a punch bowl. Another long table is loaded with wedding gifts. A small band is playing. People are dancing. The wedding party is dressed in rented tuxedos and appropriately pouffy bridesmaid dresses.

RITA

This is incredible. Who’s wedding is this?

Phil grabs two glasses of champagne and hands one to Rita.

PHIL

Just some friends. Dorisi

The bride, DORIS, young and cheery, is on her way to see Phil. She is dragging FRED, her groom, with her.

DORIS

Hi, Mr. Connors! Come ON, Freddy.

FRED

Hi.

DORIS

This is the guy I told you about.

FRED

No way!

PHIL

How’s it going, Fred?

FRED

Hey, I’d like to thank you for making Doris go through with this.

PHIL

Are you kidding? Don’t buy that playing hard to get stuff. She’s crazy about you, you stud.

DORIS

I’m really glad you could come.

PHIL

Congratulations.

Phil reaches into his pocket, pulls out two tickets and hands them to Doris.

DORIS

What is this? Oh, no way! No way! Ahhh!

Doris throws herself on Fred and jumps up and down. Fred grabs the tickets.

FRED

Wrestlemania! No way! No way!

Doris throws herself on Phil.

DORIS

How did you know?

FRED

We’re like going to be in Pittsburgh anyway.

PHIL

I don’t know. I just thought about you two, tried to picture what you ‘ d want more than anything in the world and it came to me. Bing! Wrestlemania.

FRED

Thanks, Mr. Connors. You’re a real pal.

DORIS

This is the best!

Doris gives Phil a kiss. She and Fred move on.

RITA

I don ‘ t understand. You rush from one person to the next in a town you only visit once a year, you know everything before it happens , and you — I don’ t know , you seem to be Punxsutawney’ s leading citizen.

The band finishes a set. The guests stop dancing and head for the refreshments. Phil and Rita are left alone for the moment.

PHIL

What do you want to know?

RITA

Who are you?

PHIL

I really don’t know.

RITA

No, there’s something going on with you.

PHIL

Okay, I wake up in Punxsutawney on February second — every day. It’s supernatural. I don’t even try to explain it anymore. So, I live each day as if it’s the only day I’ve got.

Rita stares into his eyes for a very long time, but sees only good, true things.

RITA

That’s pretty amazing.

PHIL

You want to know what’s really amazing? I’ve been waiting for you every day for ten thousand years. I dream of you every night of my life. You’ve been my constant weapon against total despair, and just knowing you exist has kept me alive. How’s that?

Rita can’t even speak. This is clearly the nicest thing anybody has ever said to anybody.

Mary the piano teacher notices Phil.

MARY

Phil!

(to her friend)

This is the guy.

PHIL

Hello, Mary. Rita, this is one of Punxsey’s finest musicians.

MARY

Give me a break. You should talk. Why don’t you play something?

PHIL

No, I—

MARY

Please.

FRED

Hey, Mr. Connors. Go for it.

Phil looks at Rita. She nods and shrugs.

Phil walks up to the platform and sits at the piano. He begins to play a slow, serious, classical piece. Everyone falls silent. It’s so beautiful, Rita is almost in tears.

Then, after a pause to let the serious notes sink in, Phil transforms the piece into a fast, lively, upbeat jazz romp. Everyone is delighted, and as the rest of the band kicks in, everyone grabs a partner and begins to dance.

An old coot, UNCLE LEO, grabs Rita and the two of them dance up a storm.

LEO

That’s a great guy you’ve got there. Doctor Connors fixed my back, you know.

RITA

Doctor Connors? Rita looks over at Phil, joyously playing the piano.

Essence: Rita sees Phil isn’t as selfish and cynical as he was” the day” before. This is really the first time that Phil is seen putting other people’s needs above his own. It’s also the first time that he sees the results of not being as self-serving as he’s always been. He’s liked, he’s really liked – and he likes the feeling.

[Hope McPherson]

Assisgnment1-finds the essence

Hope finds the essence

What I learned: I’ve watched GROUNDHOG’S DAY many, many times over the years. Breaking it down to the essence made Phil’s character arc really come stand out. Additionally, I saw a lot of scenes in this version that never made it into the finished film, and none of them were really needed in the scheme of things. In this case, all those extra scenes gave Harold Ramos a chance to stitch together the best of the best.

Scene 1 location: Beginning of Act 1

Logline: Phil is voluntold he’s covering Groundhog’s Day

Essence: Phil is cynical and doesn’t care that he’s unpopular with co-workers.

Scene 2 location: End of Act 1 EXT. GOBBLER’S KNOB – DAWN end of

Logline: Phil reports on the ground-hog events live.

Essence: A skilled professional, Phil lets his cynicism get the best of him when he adds wisecracks throughout the segment.

Scene 3 location: End of Act 2 INT. DEW DROP INN – LATER THAT NIGHT

Logline: Phil gets drunk in bar with two blue-collar workers, asking them how they’d deal with a repeating day.

Essence: Phil is now hopelessness about his situation, knowing nothing stops it.

Scene 4 location: Middle of Act 3 EXT. GOBBLER’S KNOB – DAWN

Logline: Phil gives his groundhog report with more interest and information than ever before, impressing Rita.

Essence: Resigned to his February 2 fate, Phil has traded cynicism for professionalism.

Scene 5 location: End of Act 3 INT. PARTY ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Logline: Rita follows Phil around town as he helps town residents.

Phil and Rita walk into a banquet room decorated with streamers, balloons and flowers. There is a long buffet table and a punch bowl. Another long table is loaded with wedding gifts. A small band is playing. People are dancing. The wedding party is dressed in rented tuxedos and appropriately pouffy bridesmaid dresses.

RITA

This is incredible. Who’s wedding is this?

Phil grabs two glasses of champagne and hands one to Rita.

PHIL

Just some friends. Dorisi

The bride, DORIS, young and cheery, is on her way to see Phil. She is dragging FRED, her groom, with her.

DORIS

Hi, Mr. Connors! Come ON, Freddy.

FRED

Hi.

DORIS

This is the guy I told you about.

FRED

No way!

PHIL

How’s it going, Fred?

FRED

Hey, I’d like to thank you for making Doris go through with this.

PHIL

Are you kidding? Don’t buy that playing hard to get stuff. She’s crazy about you, you stud.

DORIS

I’m really glad you could come.

PHIL

Congratulations.

Phil reaches into his pocket, pulls out two tickets and hands them to Doris.

DORIS

What is this? Oh, no way! No way! Ahhh!

Doris throws herself on Fred and jumps up and down. Fred grabs the tickets.

FRED

Wrestlemania! No way! No way!

Doris throws herself on Phil.

DORIS

How did you know?

FRED

We’re like going to be in Pittsburgh anyway.

PHIL

I don’t know. I just thought about you two, tried to picture what you ‘ d want more than anything in the world and it came to me. Bing! Wrestlemania.

FRED

Thanks, Mr. Connors. You’re a real pal.

DORIS

This is the best!

Doris gives Phil a kiss. She and Fred move on.

RITA

I don ‘ t understand. You rush from one person to the next in a town you only visit once a year, you know everything before it happens , and you — – I don ‘ t know , you seem to be Punxsutawney ‘ s leading citizen.

The band finishes a set. The guests stop dancing and head for the refreshments. Phil and Rita are left alone for the moment.

PHIL

What do you want to know?

RITA

Who are you?

PHIL

I really don’t know.

RITA

No, there’s something going on with you.

PHIL

Okay, I wake up in Punxsutawney on February second — every day. It’s supernatural. I don’t even try to explain it anymore. So, I live each day as if it’s the only day I’ve got.

Rita stares into his eyes for a very long time, but sees only good, true things.

RITA

That’s pretty amazing.

PHIL

You want to know what’s really amazing? I’ve been waiting for you every day for ten thousand years. I dream of you every night of my life. You’ve been my constant weapon against total despair, and just knowing you exist has kept me alive. How’s that?

Rita can’t even speak. This is clearly the nicest thing anybody has ever said to anybody.

Mary the piano teacher notices Phil.

MARY

Phil!

(to her friend)

This is the guy.

PHIL

Hello, Mary. Rita, this is one of Punxsey’s finest musicians.

MARY

Give me a break. You should talk. Why don’t you play something?

PHIL

No, I—

MARY

Please.

FRED

Hey, Mr. Connors. Go for it.

Phil looks at Rita. She nods and shrugs.

Phil walks up to the platform and sits at the piano. He begins to play a slow, serious, classical piece. Everyone falls silent. It’s so beautiful, Rita is almost in tears.

Then, after a pause to let the serious notes sink in, Phil transforms the piece into a fast, lively, upbeat jazz romp. Everyone is delighted, and as the rest of the band kicks in, everyone grabs a partner and begins to dance.

An old coot, UNCLE LEO, grabs Rita and the two of them dance up a storm.

LEO

That’s a great guy you’ve got there. Doctor Connors fixed my back, you know.

RITA

Doctor Connors? Rita looks over at Phil, joyously playing the piano.

Essence: Rita sees Phil isn’t as selfish and cynical as he was” the day” before. This is really the first time that Phil is seen putting other people’s needs above his own. It’s also the first time that he sees the results of not being as self-serving as he’s always been. He’s liked, he’s really liked – and he likes the feeling.

[Joseph Rondina]

The script I chose: ORDINARY PEOPLE

Location 1

School corridor

Logline: Struggling with mental issues, Conrad finally calls his Psychiatrist in a cry for help.

Essence: Conrad puts up a façade, but realizes he’s in trouble with his current life.

Location 2

Restaurant

Logline: Conrad tries to be open and honest with an old friend, Karen, from the mental hospital, but she’s obviously in denial about how’s she’s coping in the outside world.

Conrad is genuinely trying to get in touch with his feelings, but Karen denies her own and attempts to get him to do the same and move on.

Location 3

Livingroom

Logline: At a family gathering, Conrad is forced to sit next to his mother for a “loving” photo op, though he knows she despises him.

Essence: Conrad desperately wants to shout to the world that he knows his Mother hates him and blames him for the death of his brother.

Location 4

Livingroom, setting up the Christmas tree

Logline: Beth confronts Conrad with her hurt feelings over finding out he quit the swim team

Essence: Conrad knows it’s just another way for her to attack him and demonstrate how much she hates him for being the one who survived, instead of her favorite son.

Location 5

Dining Room

Logline: Calvin finally breaks down, realizes he can’t stay with his wife Beth any longer

Essence: Beth has lost the ability to love, essentially losing her soul, over the death of her eldest son.

THE SCENE I CHOSE

Location 5

Dining Room

Logline: Calvin finally breaks down, realizes he can’t stay with his wife Beth any longer

Essence: Beth has lost the ability to love, essentially losing her soul, over the death of her eldest son.

Beth enters the dining room in the dark.

BETH

Calvin?

Calvin is sitting at table in the dark, sobbing, his head

in

his hands.

:

BETH (cont’d)

Why are you crying?

Calvin doesn’t answer.

BETH (cont’d)

Can I, uh… Can I get you

something?

:

Calvin mutters in a very low voice.

:

CALVIN

INT. DINING ROOM ­ NIGHT

I don’t…

BETH

What did you say?

Calvin sits back in his chair.

BETH (cont’d)

Calvin. What did you say?

Calvin produces a very deep sigh.

BETH (cont’d)

Tell me.

Calvin looks up at her with a sad expression.

CALVIN

You are beautiful. And you are

unpredictable. But you’re so

cautious. You’re determined, Beth.

But you know something? You’re not

strong. And I don’t know if you’re

really giving. Beth is looking at

him not knowing what this is about.

:

CALVIN (cont’d)

Tell me something. Do you love me?

Do you really love me?

:

BETH

I feel the way I’ve always felt

about you.

:

Calvin is disappointed by the answer, but not surprised,

just

sad.

:

CALVIN

We would’ve been all right, if

there hadn’t been any …mess.

But you can’t handle mess.

You need everything neat and

…easy.

I don’t know. Maybe you can’t

love anybody. It was so much

Buck. And Buck died, it was as if

you buried all your love with

him, and I don’t understand that.

I just don’t know.

:

Calvin sighs.

:

CALVIN (cont’d)

Maybe it wasn’t even Buck.

Maybe it was just you.

Maybe, finally, it was the best

of you that you buried.

CALVIN (cont’d)

But whatever it was, I don’t know

who you are.

I don’t know what we’ve been

playing at.

So I was crying.

Calvin is overcome by sadness

CALVIN (cont’d)

I don’t know if I love you anymore. And

I don’t know what I am going to do

without that.

Beth does not know what to say or do. She turns away and

Goes upstairs.

This scene shows what happens to real people under real life circumstances and how some handle problems well and recover, and some don’t

It demonstrates what holds people together throughout daily life, and how fragile that is.

It also demonstrates how significant the ability to love is, and why we must exhibit the qualities of the human soul in order to have something of value to offer others.

What I learned: A valuable lesson as to how one must focus on essence of story and character when constructing each scene

[Henry Kana]

(Henry Kana) Finds the Essence

What I learned from this is that Scripts for Directing Film and greatly vary and have a total different look from original scripts and those submitted for Film Festival. Essense and subtext are the key to making them great.

Script 1 choose: “American Beauty”

Scene 1 Location: INT. SALE HOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

Logline: Real Estate Agent stripps down to clean house in hope of a sale.

Essence: Failing Real Estate Sales person uses mantras to help her attempt to sell a worthless house.

Scene 2 Location: EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS – A SHORT TIME LATER

Logline: Teenage girls boast about having sex.

Essence: None of them have had sex.

Scene 3 Location: EXT. HOTEL – LATER

Logline: Ricky and Lester become friends and smoke a joint.

Essence: Lester realizes that Ricky is his next door Drug dealer.

Scene 4 Location: INT. BURNHAM HOUSE – JANE’S ROOM

Logline: Ricky and Jane come together to confront Angela’s ordinary person life.

Essence: Jane realizes she is beautiful and is not an ordinary person.

Scene 5 Location: INT. BURNHAM HOUSE – FAMILY ROOM

Logline: Lester thinks he is about to score with Angela.

Essence: Angela admits she is not the worldy woman she portrays to be.

Scene 5 choice: INT. BURNHAM HOUSE – FAMILY ROOM – CONTINUOUS

Lester starts unbuttoning Angela’s blouse. She seems disconnected from what’s happening. Lester pulls her blouse open, exposing her breasts.

Lester looks down at her, grinning, unable to believe he’s actually about to do what he’s dreamed of so many times, and then…

ANGELA

This is my first time.

Lester LAUGHS.

LESTER

You’re kidding.

ANGELA

(a whisper)

I’m sorry.

A beat. Lester looks down at her, his grin fading.

His POV: Angela lies beneath us, embarrassed and vulnerable. This is not the mythically carnal creature of Lester’s fantasies; this is a nervous child.

ANGELA (CONT’D)

I still want to do it… I just thought I should tell you… in case you wondered why I wasn’t… better.

Lester’s face falls. There’s no way he’s going to go through with this now.

ANGELA (CONT’D)

(confused)

What’s wrong? I thought you said I was beautiful.

LESTER

(tenderly)

You are beautiful.

He grabs a blanket from the back of the couch and drapes it around her shoulders, covering her nakedness.

LESTER (CONT’D)

You are so beautiful… and I would be a very lucky man…

He smiles and shakes his head. Humiliated, Angela starts to cry.

ANGELA

I feel so stupid.

LESTER

Don’t.

He hugs her, letting her put her head on his shoulder, stroking her hair and rocking her gently.

ANGELA

I’m sorry.

Lester takes her by the shoulders and looks at her, serious.

LESTER

You have nothing to be sorry about.

But she keeps crying. Lester hugs her again. We HEAR a loud CLAP of THUNDER outside.

LESTER (CONT’D)

(smiles)

It’s okay. Everything’s okay.

EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL – MOMENTS LATER

The Mercedes pulls onto Robin Hood Trail.

INT. MERCEDES-BENZ ML320 – CONTINUOUS

CLOSE on Carolyn’s eyes,

The thing that impressed me the most is this film was written and produced well ahead of it’s time. Introducing two dysfunctional families, children and adults. Their lives intertwinded with drugs, sex and introduction of closet homosexuality and failed admission of homosesexuality with an explosive surprise ending.

[Juliet Wochholz]

Day 1 Assignment

Julie Wochholz Finds the Essence

What I learned: 1. The essence that I found in the scenes kept bumping into the overall theme of the story, and chronicled Jerry’s path to reaching the ideal he had manifested for himself at the beginning of the story. I also learned that essence can be in the character, situation, dialogue, action story. It sometimes pops out boldly but other times is layered more deeply.

Script I chose: JERRY MAGUIRE by Cameron Crowe

Scene 1:

Location: Act 1 – Response to Inciting Incident (Catalyst/Call to Adventure)

Logline: Jerry awakes in the middle of the night to write his “Mission Statement” – a manifesto on his profession as a pro-sports agent as to how things ought to be.

Essence: Jerry is passionate about the message he is communicating – If we really care about the relationships we are in, we can find true joy.

Scene 2:

Location: Near the end of Act 1: The debate section (protagonist is refusing the call)

Logline: Jerry and his rival, Sugar, hurriedly call all of Jerry’s clients trying to win them over, but Jerry gets stuck on a long call with his client Tidwell, and therefore loses every other client to Sugar.

Essence: Jerry does not realize it but he has taken a baby step towards the ideal he expressed in his mission statement by caring enough to stay on the phone with Tidwell, even though he knows Sugar is stealing all his other (superficial) clients (relationships).

Scene 3:

Location: Act 2: Past the midpoint.

Logline: Jerry begs Tidwell to show more joy in the game, as a tactic, so Jerry can negotiate a better monetary deal for Tidwell w/ the AZ Sundevils. Tidwell refuses to “do the dance.”

Essence: Jerry seems to understand the importance of Joy, but the real value of it is misplaced as he wants to exploit it and use it as a weapon.

Scene 4:

Location: Near the end of Act 2.

Logline: Now married to Dorothy, Jerry witnesses a true “perfect marriage” on a double date with Tidwell and his wife, who are in-sync, joyful, and expressive of their love for each other, as they fuss over each other’s food and call each other “baby”, making Jerry uncomfortable with the realization his own marriage lacks these qualities.

Essence: Jerry perceives a truly caring relationship expressing itself, and is aware that his own marriage lacks these qualities.

Scene 5:

Location: Act 3 – Crisis (All is lost – break into three/ finding the elixir)

Logline: When Tidwell is injured during the Monday Night Football game it appears all is lost, until Tidwell awakes from a concussion and erupts in pure joy – bringing the entire stadium, the fans, his family, the sports reporters, and even Jerry, along in his expression of happiness.

Essence: Through Tidwell, Jerry at last FEELS real joy, because someone he truly cared about appeared hurt but was then okay; however, Jerry realizes something is still missing – sharing the joy with the person he loves.

My selection for the scene with the most essence is Scene 5 – Essence: Jerry finally FEELS pure joy because he has a real & caring relationship with Tidwell.

1. Jerry’s reaction when Tidwell appeared injured was to reach out to the people Tidwell loves best – demonstrating emotional connection and understanding.

2. The scene ends with Jerry emotionally overcome and exhausted – thumping has heart twice as Tidwell passes, communicating both how worried he had been and how happy he is now) and then collapsing.

3. The scene uses every other character (fans, family, media) to reflect and to amplify the emotions felt by Jerry – first the utter fear and then the complete elation.

4. NOTE: Because this story has two characters/plots which intertwine – there is another scene to come with Dorothy that also captures profound essence as Jerry demonstrates his understanding that pure joy is better when shared with the one you love – however, for me, it is this scene that I picked that really goes over the top to communicate the pure joy Jerry has been after.

SCENE POSTED HERE:

INT. PRESS BOX — NIGHT

Maguire watches as Arizona’s quarterback John Swenson drops back for a pass, and is sacked. Philadelphia fans cheer wildly. The game is turning uglier by the minute. Jerry looks up to the monitor for a closet look at the next play.

ON PRESS BOX MONITOR

Swenson, the Arizona quarterback, throws a wobbly pass into the end-zone.

Tidwell leaps for the catch, tucks the ball in and is promptly and brutally hit by two defenders from two different sides. This hit is bad. Worse than bad. Tidwell flips and comes down like a sack of potatoes, with a thud, ball still in his hands. His head hits the astroturf, hard. Tidwell is out cold. And the ripple effect of the injury shoots through the stadium. Jerry stares at the monitor, stunned by the sudden brutality.

EXT. ARIZONA FIELD — NIGHT

We are thrust into the vortex, inside the game. Tidwell lies still on turf. Overhead, the fight music continues for a few seconds before disappearing abruptly. Players and coaches begin to gather around the still body of Rod Tidwell.

TV MONITOR — SLO-MO

The hit in replay. It is brutal. And we can see a flash of his pride as he catches the lousy pass, and then… like two bulls, the Philadelphia defenders enter from each side. One cuts his legs out from under him, and Rod’s taut body literally flips. The second defender then hits him at the shoulders. Tidwell lands on the back of his neck, crumpling downwards. Still holding the ball. Still.

INT. TIDWELL LIVING ROOM — NIGHT

Silence. Utter silence.

GIFFORD’S VOICE

— you sure hope his family wasn’t watching that. And then, in a cry that gurgles from way down deep, Marcee begins to sob. Camera catches the face of Tyson, now panicked. Scared, he embraces his mother.

INT. BOWELS OF SUN DEVIL STADIUM

Maguire sprints through the inner bowels of the stadium. He turns the corner, into the tunnel, talking his way past a guard, heading into the bright t.v. light of the football field.

INT. TIDWELL LIVING ROOM — NIGHT

Gathering around the television, the family waits through a commercial for more information on Rod’s injury.

TEE PEE

He should have kept his head tucked down.

MARCEE

(immediately)

Shut up!!!

TEE PEE

I’m not putting him down, I just have a commitment to the truth.

Marcee lunges for him.

MARCEE

Can’t you be loyal to your brother who LOVES you??

(she is held back)

Get out of my house!

Across the room, the phone starts ringing. A COUSIN answers.

COUSIN

It’s Jerry Maguire!

EXT. ARIZONA FIELD — NIGHT

Jerry Maguire on the portable.

JERRY

He took a shot. He’s unconscious.

MARCEE

I’m freakin out. Oh God I’m —

JERRY

Keep the phone open. I’ll call back. Stay calm. He’s got some good doctors out there.

MARCEE

“Stay calm?” I’m freakin…

JERRY

Alright, I’m freaking too. But they need you to stay calm. I’ll call back.

MARCEE

My whole life is this family, Jerry. It doesn’t work without him.

She takes a big gulp, as Jerry watches an overzealous Trainer run out onto the field to join the cluster around the fallen Tidwell. Jerry covers phone and yells onto the field.

JERRY

DON’T TOUCH HIM!!!

EXT. CENTER OF PLAYING FIELD — NIGHT

We’re now just a few inches in front of his peaceful, sleeping face. They are all. YELLING, trying to pull him out.

SHOTS OF NATIONAL TELEVISION AUDIENCES

A full sports bar in Arizona silently watches Monday Night Football.

Generic living room of sports fans, all watching Tidwell pinned to the screen.

Generic outdoor bar-b-que as white fans watch t.V. Tidwell living room. All gathered around the television.

Maguire straining at the sideline.

ON TIDWELL — CLOSE

Dead to the world as sound disappears. There is now only silence.

POV TIDWELL – SLO-MO — SILENCE

The Doctors and the Trainers are now truly panicked. We don’t hear them. We see them, their motions increasingly manic. Shoving fingers in front of him. Screaming. We read their lips. (“Rod!” “Rod can you hear us!”) We see the anguish and escalating fear on their faces. The Trainer leans in close, bellowing, he spreads his hands wide to clap right in front of Rod’s still face. His hands head toward each other… closer… bringing with them the first inkling of sound… getting closer and then finally coming together, bringing with him the sounds of the stadium.

ON TIDWELL

who blinks back to life. Concerned men are yelling very loudly, right in his face. Tidwell becomes aware he is the absolute center of attention of the entire stadium. As crowd

noise begins to rise.

TRAINER

Let’s get you off the field!

TIDWELL

Wait.

TRAINER

Can you feel your legs?

TIDWELL

Yeah. Just let me enjoy this for a minute.

ON JERRY

who watches. Only marginally relieved. Is he okay?

ON FANS

Crowd noise rises. Is he okay?

ON TIDWELL

Can he move? Is he okay?

ON TIDWELL’S LIVING ROOM

Not a breath is taken. Is he okay?

He rises. Stadium explodes. At first on wobbly feet, he raises the football and for the first time — salutes the crowd. Crowd noise doubles.

ON MAGUIRE

gasping for breath.

ON TIDWELL

Has never felt like this before in his life. It is the pure and absolute love of the spotlight. And his fans. And then… it’s real and he feels it. Tidwell breaks out in a small but unmistakable move — a flutter step. He does a high-stepping move, all his own, for about ten yards.

ON JERRY MAGUIRE

who watches, now in complete disbelief. Tidwell will not let go of the spotlight.

ON TIDWELL’S LIVING ROOM

Going absolutely nuts. Marcee hysterical, laughing and

crying.

MARCEE

(to Tee Pee)

You ain’t talking now, are you??? You’re a silent motherfucker!

Tyson watches in silent awe of his mother.

BACK ON TIDWELL –

– CLOSE

Finishes his small but heartfelt dance. It is a personal catharsis he is sharing now with 2 billion people.

TIDWELL

(to himself)

Nike.

He moves past Jerry Maguire on his way off the field. Jerry, casually thumps his heart twice. Jerry Maguire is overcome with emotion. He sits down on a camera case, head in his hands. Behind him, a stadium cheers a new hero.

OVERHEARD FAN

I always knew he was great.

Maguire rubs his face. Overcome. Photographers and others rush past to be closer to Tidwell.

[Ann Carpenter]

Ann Finds the Essence

What I learned is that there is more depth to great writing and it all starts with getting to the essence of what you want to write.

Script I choose: The Shawshank Redemption

Scene 1 location: In the first 10 pages, Scene 9, Shawshank Hearing room.

Logline: Red pleads his case for freedom and is rejected.

Essence: There is no hope. A good speech will get you nowhere.

Scene 2 location:, Scene 58, The Roof

Logline: Andy offers financial advice to a guard and gets beers for gu co-workers.

Essence: Andy has found a way to make inroads with the guards and prisoners.

Scene 3 location: Scene 86, midpoint

Logline: Norton searches Andy’s cell for contraband and finds nothing.

Essence: Norton is testing Andy. Makes sure Andy knows his place.

Scene 4 location: Scene 93, Main Hallway

Logline: Andy asks Norton if he can request the Senate for money. Norton agrees to mail the letters.

Essence: Andy has gotten Norton’s permission and assistance.

Scene 5 location: Last 20 pages Scene 258

Logline: Norton discovers how Andy carved his way to freedom.

Essence: Andy has found salvation and Norton is being delivered payback.

My selection for the most profound essence:  INT -- NORTON'S OFFICE -- DAY (1966) 258

Norton opens his safe and pulls out the “ledger” — it’s

Andy’s Bible. The title page is inscribed by hand: “Dear

Warden. You were right. Salvation lay within.” Norton flips to

the center of the book — and finds the pages hollowed out in

the shape of a rock-hammer.

[Carol Paur]

Carol L. Paur Finds the Essence

What I learned is the essence tells me what is important in each scene and helps me write to keep that focus.

Script I choose: Schindler’s List

Scene 1 Location: Hotel Room

Logline: Oskar Schindler schmoozes German SS during WWII.

Essence: Oskar wants to make sure he can continue doing his business so wines and dines the military.

Scene 2 Location: Apartment

Logline: Schindler meets with Itzhak Stern to discuss starting up a factory.

Essence: Schindler wants to make money while Stern is concerned for the fate of the Jews.

Scene 3 Location: Restaurant/Temple

Logline: Extortionist of the Jews refuses to spit on the Torah.

Essence: Shows the weakness of the Jewish leaders who spit on the Torah and the evil of the Germans demanding they spit on the Torah.

Scene 4 Location: SS Cell

Logline: Schindler has spent the night in an SS cell in luxury and plans to be released.

Essence: Schindler has important people in German leadership who are taking care of him.

Scene 5 Location:

Logline: German guards enter the factory to arrest Schindler and kill the Jews but leave without doing anything.

Essence: Schindler tells the Jews the war is over and gives a stirring speech about mourning the lost Jews while challenging the German’s guards to arrest him and kill the workers.

Scene with most profound essence to me:

Essence: Schindler realizes he could have saved so many more Jews.

EXT. COURTYARD – BRINNLITZ CAMP – NIGHT

Schindler and Emilie emerge from his quarters, each carrying

a small suitcase. In the dark, some distance away from his

Mercedes, stand all twelve hundred workers. As Schindler and

his wife cross the courtyard to the car, Stern and Levartov

approach. The rabbi hands him some papers.

LEVARTOV

We’ve written a letter trying to

explain things. In case you’re

captured. Every worker has signed

it.

Schindler sees a list of signatures beginning below the

typewritten text and continuing for several pages. He pockets

it, this new list of names.

SCHINDLER

Thank you.

Stern steps forward and places a ring in Schindler’s hand.

It’s a gold band, like a wedding ring. Schindler notices an

inscription inside it.

STERN

It’s Hebrew. It says, ‘Whoever saves

one life, saves the world.’

Schindler slips the ring onto a finger, admires it a moment,

nods his thanks, then seems to withdraw.

SCHINDLER

(to himself)

I could’ve got more out…

Stern isn’t sure he heard right. Schindler steps away from

him, from his wife, from the car, from the workers.

SCHINDLER

(to himself)

I could’ve got more… if I’d just…

I don’t know, if I’d just… I

could’ve got more…

STERN

Oskar, there are twelve hundred people

who are alive because of you. Look

at them.

He can’t.

SCHINDLER

If I’d made more money… I threw

away so much money, you have no idea.

If I’d just…

STERN

There will be generations because of

what you did.

SCHINDLER

I didn’t do enough.

STERN

You did so much.

Schindler starts to lose it, the tears coming. Stern, too.

The look on Schindler’s face as his eyes sweep across the

faces of the workers is one of apology, begging them to

forgive him for not doing more.

SCHINDLER

This car. Goeth would’ve bought this

car. Why did I keep the car? Ten

people, right there, ten more I

could’ve got.

(looking around)

This pin —

He rips the elaborate Hakenkreus, the swastika, from his

lapel and holds it out to Stern pathetically.

SCHINDLER

Two people. This is gold. Two more

people. He would’ve given me two for

it. At least one. He would’ve given

me one. One more. One more person. A

person, Stern. For this. One more. I

could’ve gotten one more person I

didn’t.

He completely breaks down, weeping convulsively, the emotion

he’s been holding in for years spilling out, the guilt

consuming him.

SCHINDLER

They killed so many people…

(Stern, weeping too,

embraces him)

They killed so many people…

From above, from a watchtower, Stern can be seen down below,

trying to comfort Schindler. Eventually, they separate, and

Schindler and Emilie climb into the Mercedes. It slowly pulls

out through the gates of the camp. And drives away.

[James Hernandez]

James Finds the Essence

What I learned is that finding the essence of a scene lets me start at the most profound place possible, which could be described as the “true heart” of the scene. And this “true heart” would help me write a scene with more clarity and impact.

Script I chose: Good Will Hunting by Matt Damon & Ben Affleck

Scene 1 Location: End of Act 1

Logline: Will meets Sean who will make an attempt to counsel him

Essence: Both Will and Sean test each other out for vulnerabilities and/or a connection

Scene 2 Location: Beginning of Act 2

Logline: Sean holds Will’s first counseling session in a park

Essence: Sean challenges Will to open up in order to find and reveal his true self

Scene 3 Location: Middle of Act 2

Logline: Will and Skylar have an argument over him going or not going to California with her

Essence: Skylar opens up with Will yet he can’t face new challenges in life

Scene 4 Location: Ending of Act 2

Logline: Chuckie pushes Will to take a job offer

Essence: Will needs to use his talents and better his life

Scene 5 Location: Climax in Act 3

Logline: Sean and Will have their last session with a breakthrough

Essence: Sean finally helps Will move on from his past and not feel responsible for any of it

Scene with the most profound essence: Scene 2

EXT. BOSTON COMMON – MINUTES LATER

Sean and Will sit in the bleachers in the mostly empty park. They look out over a small pond, on which a group of schoolchildren on a field trip ride the famous swan boats.

WILL

So, what’s with this place? You have a swan fetish? Is this something you’d like to talk about?

SEAN

I was thinking about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. I stayed up half the night thinking about it, and then something occurred to me and I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep and haven’t thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?

WILL

No.

SEAN

You’re just a boy. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

WILL

Why, thank you.

SEAN

You’ve never been out of Boston.

WILL

No.

SEAN

So, if I asked you about art you could give me the skinny on every art book ever written… Michelangelo?

(beat)

You know a lot about him I bet. Life’s work, criticisms, political aspirations. But you couldn’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. And if I asked you about women I’m sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you’ve been laid a few times, too. But you couldn’t tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy. If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and nonfictional material, but you’ve never been in one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap and watched him draw his last breath, looking to you for help. And if I asked you about love I’d get a sonnet, but you’ve never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from your grief. That God had put an angel on earth just for you. And you wouldn’t know how it felt to be her angel. To have the love to be there for her forever. Through anything, through cancer. You wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand and not leaving because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term visiting hours didn’t apply to you. And you wouldn’t know about real loss, because that only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself, and you’ve never dared to love anything that much. I look at you and I don’t see an intelligent, confident man; I don’t see a peer, and I don’t see my equal. I see a boy. Nobody could possibly understand you, right, Will? Yet you presume to know so much about me because of a painting you saw. You must know everything about me. You’re an orphan, right?

Will nods quietly.

SEAN

Do you think I would presume to know the first thing about who you are because I read Oliver Twist? And I don’t buy the argument that you don’t want to be here, because I think you like all the attention you’re getting. Personally, I don’t care. There’s nothing you can tell me that I can’t read somewhere else. Unless we talk about your life. But you won’t do that. Maybe you’re afraid of what you might say.

Sean stands,

SEAN

It’s up to you, chief.

And walks away.

Essence: Sean challenges Will to open up in order to find and reveal his true self. I believe this is the essence of the scene because Sean was the first person that sat down Will and spoke frankly to him about his attitude towards others and not wanting to move out of his comfort zone. Sean dug deep into Will’s conscience like no one else has.

[Mary MacNeith]

Mary MacNeith Finds the Essence

What I learned is the that essence is critically important to show and reveal the soul and purpose of the story.

Script I chose: Raiders of the Lost Ark

Scene 1 Location: UNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM – DAY

Logline: Federal agents need Indy’s help to find his mentor Ravenwood, to stop the Nazi’s.

Essence: Indy must find the headpiece to stop the Nazi’ from finding the Ark of the Covenant.

Scene 2 Location: ARAB BAR – NIGHT

Logline: Indy failed to save Marion from the Nazi’s.

Essence: Indy feels defeated and angry in Belloq’s presence.

Scene 3 Location: SALLAH’S HOME – NIGHT

Logline: Indy and Sallah discover the correct measurement of the staff to find the Well of the Souls.

Essence: The Nazi’s are digging in the wrong place.

Scene 4 Location: MAP ROOM – DAY

Logline: Indy secretly enters the Map Room surrounded by Germans outside, to find the location of the Ark.

Essence: Using sunlight and the headpiece of the Staff of Ra, Indy is the only person in the world who knows where the Ark of the Covenant is located.

Scene 5 Location: DESERT ROAD – DAY

Logline: Indy goes after the Ark after the Nazi’s discovered his dig sight.

Essence: Indy will do anything to protect the Ark from the Nazi’s and Belloq.

My selection for the most profound essence:

Scene # Location: MAP ROOM – DAY

Logline: Indy secretly enters the Map Room surrounded by Germans outside, to find the location of the Ark.

Essence: Having the correct height for the headpiece of the Staff of Ra, Indy is the only person in the world who knows where the Ark of the Covenant is located.

[Elle de Champagne]

Elle Finds the Essence

What I learned is that getting to the essence frees up to be truly creative.

Script I choose: The Matrix

Scene 1 Location: EXT. HEART O’ THE CITY HOTEL – NIGHT
Logline: Agents show up and have a showdown of works, with the police.
Essence: There’s more to this “little girl” than meets the eye

Scene 2 Location: INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
Logline: Agents give Neo an ultimatum then bug him.
Essence: This world isn’t what it seems.

Scene 3 Location: INT. CONSTRUCT
Logline: Neo discovers what and why the Matrix is.
Essence: Laying down the foundation of what and why they are fighting

Scene 4 Location: INT. DOJO
Logline: Morpheus trains Neo.
Essence: Learning and knowing is the difference between life and death

Scene 5 Location: INT. MAIN DECK
Logline: Neo dies then comes back to life as The One
Essence: Neo must let go of what’s left of the old him in order to become the new.

My selection for most profound essence:

INT. MAIN DECK 204

Neo’s body jerks, and everyone hears it as the LIFE

MONITORS SNAP FLATLINE.

Trinity screams. Morpheus stumbles back in disbelief.

(CONTINUED)

121.

204 CONTINUED: 204

MORPHEUS

No, it can’t be. It can’t be.

Lasers suddenly sear through the main deck as the

sentinels slice open the hull.

205 INT. HALL – DAY 205

Three holes in his chest, Neo falls to the blue shag

carpeting, blood smearing down the wallpaper. Agent

Smith stands over him, still aiming, taking no chances.

AGENT SMITH

Check him.

206 INT. MAIN DECK 206

Amid the destruction raining around her, Trinity takes

hold of Neo’s body.

TRINITY

Neo…

207 INT. HALL – DAY 207

Kneeling beside him, Agent Brown checks his vital signs.

AGENT BROWN

He’s gone.

Agent Smith smiles, standing over him.

AGENT SMITH

Good-bye, Mr. Anderson.

208 INT. MAIN DECK 208

In tears, Morpheus takes hold of the EMP switch.

Trinity whispers in Neo’s ear.

TRINITY

Neo, please, listen to me. I

promised to tell you the rest.

The Oracle, she told me that I’d

fall in love and that man, the man

I loved would be the one. You

see? You can’t be dead, Neo, you

can’t be because I love you. You

hear me? I love you!

(CONTINUED)

122.

208 CONTINUED: 208

Her eyes close and she kisses him, believing in all her

heart that he will feel her lips and know that they speak

the truth.

209 INT. HOTEL HALL – DAY 209

He does. And they do.

His eyes snap open.

210 INT. MAIN DECK 210

Trinity screams as the monitors jump back to life. Tank

and Morpheus look at each other.

It is a miracle.

TRINITY

Now get up!

211 INT. HALL – DAY 211

Holding his chest, Neo struggles to get up. At the end

of the hall, the Agents wait for the elevator when Agent

Smith glances back. He rips off his sunglasses, looking

at Neo as if he were looking at a ghost.

Neo gets to his feet, all three Agents grabbing for their

guns. As one, they FIRE.

NEO

No!

Neo raises his hands and the BULLETS, like a cloud of

obedient bees, slow and come to a stop. They hang frozen

in space, fixed like stainless steel stars.

The Agents are unable to absorb what they are seeing.

Neo plucks one of the bullets from the air. We see him

and the hall reflected in the bright casing. We MOVE

CLOSER UNTIL the bullet fills our vision and the

distorted reflection morphs, becoming the “real” image.

He drops the bullet and the others fall to the floor.

Neo looks out, now able to see through the curtain of the

Matrix. For a moment, the walls, the floor, even the

Agents become a rushing stream of code.

123.

212 INT. MAIN DECK 212

All three stare transfixed with awe as the scrolling code

accelerates, faster and faster, as if the machine

language was unable to keep up or perhaps describe what

is happening.

They begin to blur into streaks, shimmering ribbons of

light that open like windows, as!–

Each screen fills with brilliant, saturated color images

of Neo standing in the hall.

TANK

How…?!

MORPHEUS

He is the one. He is the one!

An EXPLOSION shakes the entire ship.

213 INT. HALL 213

Agent Smith screams, his calm machine-like expression

shredding with pure rage.

He rushes Neo. His attack is ferocious but Neo blocks

each blow easily. Then with one quick strike to the

chest he sends Agent Smith flying backwards.

For the first time since their inception, the Agents know

fear.

Agent Smith gets up, bracing himself as Neo charges him

and springs into a dive. But the impact doesn’t come.

Neo sinks into Agent Smith, disappearing, his tie and coat

rippling as if he were a deep pool of water.

Spinning around he looks to the others and feels

something, like a tremor before a quake, something deep,

something that is going to change everything.

Suddenly a SEARING SOUND stabs through his earpiece as

his chest begins to swell, then balloon as!–

Neo BURSTS up out of him. And with a final death scream,

Agent Smith EXPLODES like an empty husk in a brilliant

cacophony of light, his shards spinning away, absorbed by

the Matrix until!–

Only Neo is left.

Neo faces the remaining Agents. They look at each other,

the same idea striking simultaneously!–

They run.

124.

214 INT. MAIN DECK 214

sentinels are everywhere destroying the ship.

TRINITY

Neo!

215 INT. HALL 215

Again he hears her. He reacts to the RINGING PHONE,

rushing toward it even as!–

216 INT. MAIN DECK 216

A sentinel descends towards Morpheus. On the screen we

see Neo dive for the phone as!–

TRINITY

Now!

Morpheus turns the key.

217 INT. OVERFLOW PIT 217

A blinding shock of white light floods the chamber;

sentinels blink and fall instantly dead, filling the pit

with their cold metal carcasses.

218 INT. HOVERCRAFT 218

In the still darkness, only the humans are alive.

TRINITY

Neo?

His eyes open. Tears pour from her smiling eyes as he

reaches up to touch her.

And she kisses him; it seems like it might last forever.

Essence: Neo must let go of what’s left of the old him in order to become the new.

I believe this is the essence because not only is it true of what happens in the story, but it is true of what happens in real life. We can’t make a paradigm shift in our lives without letting the old self die otherwise, we just end up fighting ourselves.

[Henry Kana]

Henry Kana Max Interest Part 1

What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is utilizing Interest Techniques to spark interest of the viewers and to make the words jump off the page.

The Scene where Miko and Father Thomas arrive at the Hotel for Father Thomas’s 50^th Class reunion.

Essence: Miko is still worried about Father Thomas’s nonchalant attitude towards his dreams.

Interest Techniques: 1) Uncertinty – Fear/Hope; 2) Intrigue; 3) Surprise.

New Logline: Miko attempts to convince Father Thomas that his dreams could come true and they may need to face the Devil soon.

INT. HOTEL – EARLY EVENING

Miko and Father Thomas wait in the Lobby of the Hotel awaity the arrival of Allen, Betty and Linda. Allen, Betty and Linda pull up in Allen’s Mercedes Benz Coup.

Miko: Are those the Devils souls?

Father Thomas: Don’t be ridiculous Miko, nothings going to happen.

Miko: But you said their were three classmates in your dream.

Father Thomas: Yes, but it just a dream.

Miko: Never trust the Devil, he will make it come true.

Father Thomas: Not so, let me introduce you to my classmates:

Allen, Betty and Linda approach Father Thomas and Miko.

Father Thomas: Miko, this is Linda, Betty and Allen.

Miko shakes his goard rattle.

Miko: Gumbato, No Diablo Aqui. Nice to meet you.

Betty: Are you a real Witchdoctor? Are you going to put us in a Pot of Boiling Water? What was that about the Devil? You aren’t going to try and sell our souls to the Devil?

Miko: We don’t do those pagan things anymore.

Father Thomas: Don’t be silly. He thinks the Devil is coming.

Allen, Betty, Linda and Father Thomas laugh in unison.

All: Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Father Thomas: Let’s go have some fun and see old classmates.

They head off to follow the signs to the reunion.

[Patrick McCormick]

Patrick McCormick Finds the Essence

What I’ve learned is the importance of Essence, and how to take the
first steps in identifying and clarifying it.

HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY Revised Draft 8/8/03

Scene1 Location Scene 100 – Page 90

INT CORRIDOR/TEMPLE OF DEEP THOUGHT – DAY

Logline Trillian fires the Point of View Gun at Zephod, so he can see why
she’s upset.

Essence As Zephod sees her view, Trillian realizes life is not so special,
and after losing everything, she may have lost the last thing that
truly means something.

Scene2 Location Scene 103a – Page 98

INT ARTHUR DENT’S HOUSE/MARK 2 – DAY

Logline Arthur sees they’re all together at a magnificent buffet, and
discovers the real reasons all this is happening.

Essence Arthur realizes he truly loves Trillian as nothing else really
matters or needs to make sense in his insignificant life.

Scene3 Location Scene 31 – Page 25

INT HEART OF GOLD. RECEIVING BAY – NIGHT

Logline Arthur and Ford realize they’ve become sofas.

Essence The two can’t comprehend they’ve become sofas and are now human
again.

Scene4 Location Scene 48 – Page 43

Logline The Magratheans return 7 ½ million years later for the answer to the
ultimate question, to find out they didn’t ask it correctly, so
there’s no answer.

Essence The advanced civilization who thought they knew everything realizes
they’re not smarter than the next civilization, humbling them.

<b style=”background-color: transparent; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Scene5 Location Scene 97 – Page 86

Logline Zaphod goes to Deep Thought to find the ultimate question for fame
and money, only to discover he accidentally destroyed the Earth which
was the computer finding the ultimate question.

Essence Zaphod sees his whole journey towards self-aggrandizement reduced to
rubble because of his ego and stupidity.

My selection for most profound essence:

Scene 1 Location Scene 100 – Page 90

INT CORRIDOR/TEMPLE OF DEEP THOUGHT – DAY

Logline Trillian fires the Point of View Gun at Zephod, so he can see why
she’s upset

Essence As Zephod sees her view, Trillian realizes life is not so special,
and after losing everything, may have lost the last thing that meant
something.

Reason
why it is the Essence When A profound revelation occurs, it allows us to more greatly reset
our evolution towards the ultimate goal of awakening and
enlightenment, even when not pleasant.

HHGG 3rd Revised Draft 8/8/03 90.

100 CONTINUED 100

ZAPHOD

Why so edgy?

She can’t believe he’s asking this. She aims the gun, CLICK!

ZAPHOD
(CONT’D)

Of course you’re edgy, your planet’s been blown
up and you’ve been tooling around

the
Galaxy with the guy who signed the order.

CLICK.
She shoots him again.

ZAPHOD
(CONT’D)

You
actually wanted to know the Question because
you always thought there was more

to
life, and now you’re crushed because you
find out there really isn’t.

She’s
getting angrier and more hurt. CLICK.

ZAPHOD
(CONT’D)

You’ve
got no home, no family, no one to be
with — and you’re stuck with me,

another
in a long line of men who doesn’t appreciate
you because he’s too busy

appreciating
himself.

Hearing
this puts a lump in her throat, causes her eyes to well with tears.
She lowers the gun.

Zaphod
shakes his head — the effect wearing off. But he realizes what he
said and doesn’t like it.

ZAPHOD (CONT’D)

Give
me that thing. He
grabs the gun, points it at her.

TRILLIAN

Won’t
affect me. I’m already a woman.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Patrick McCormick.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Patrick McCormick.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Patrick McCormick.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  Patrick McCormick.

[Joseph McGloin]

Joe Finds the Essence

What I learned is: discovering the scene essence first would make coming up with options for its interesting expression much easier.

Script I choose: Terminator 2

Scene 1 Location: Los Angeles, 2029

Logline: The city morphs from modern day crowds to a gigantic, burned out rubble

Essence: An unspeakably powerful and terrible force has flattened the city and destroyed all its people.

Scene 2 Location: the nearest bar to Terminator’s landing point

Logline: Terminator takes a biker’s clothes since he has none.

Essence: Terminator is a deadly machine that looks like a man

Scene 3 Location: Pescadero Prison for the Criminally Insane

Logline: Sarah escapes

Essence: Sarah knows the Terminator has returned and she needs to protect her son.

Scene 4 Location: Auto garage at night

Logline: Sarah and Terminator dress each others’ wounds

Essence: Sarah, John and Terminator are interdependent to get through the crisis, whether or not Sarah likes it

Scene 5 Location: Dyson’s home

Logline: After Sarah tries but fails to be Dyson’s Terminator, only wounding him, he is open to change.

Essence: When Dyson sees the future effects of his work, he agrees to end his project for good.

My selection for most profound essence:

This last scene listed above, scene 5. It is where an historically important person decides to change the course of history by abandoning all his research to date and wiping out any chance of anyone reconstructing it. It’s indicative of the sacrifice humanity itself must make if it is to survive.

136 INT. HOUSE

Advancing with Sarah we enter the living area. Tarissa has Blythe and

she’s screaming at Danny, who has run back to his collapsed father.

TARISSA

Danny! DANNY!

DANNY

Daaaaddddeeee!

Danny is pulling at Dyson, crying and screaming, as his father tries

to stagger forward. Tarissa drops Blythe and runs back for Dyson,

grabbing him. Sarah looms behind them with the pistol aimed.

SARAH

Don’t fucking move! Don’t FUCKING MOVE!!

(she swings the gun on

Tarissa)

Get on the floor, bitch! Now!! Fucking down!

NOW!!

Sarah is crazy-eyed now, shaking with the intensity of the moment.

The kill has gone bad, with screaming kids and the wife involved…

things she never figured on. Tarissa drops to the knees, terrified

as she looks into the muzzle of the gun. Blythe runs to Dyson and

hugs him, wailing.

BLYTHE

Don’t hurt my father!

SARAH

(screaming)

Shut up, kid! Get out of the way!!

Dyson looks up, through his pain and incomprehension. Why is this

nightmare happening? The black gun muzzle is a foot from his face.

DYSON

(gasping)

Please… let… the kids… go…

SARAH

Shut up! SHUT UP!! Motherfucker! It’s all

your fault! IT’S YOUR FAULT!!

We see her psyching herself to pull the trigger… needing now to hate

this man she doesn’t know. It’s a lot harder face-to-face. She is

bathed in sweat, and it runs into her eyes. Blinking, she wipes it

fast with one hand, then gets it back on the gun. The .45 is

trembling.

TIGHT ON SARAH as we see the forces at war behind her eyes.

She looks into the faces of Dyson, Tarissa, Blythe, Danny.

Sarah takes a sharp breath and all the muscles in her arms contract

as she tenses to fire.

But her finger won’t do it.

She lowers the gun very slowly. It drops to her side in one hand.

All the breath and energy seems to go out of her.

She weakly raises her other hand in a strange gesture, like “Stay

where you are, don’t move”. As if, should they move, the fragile

balance might tip back the other way.

She backs away from them slowly, panting. It’s as if she’s backing

away in terror from what she almost did. She reaches a wall and

slumps against it. Slides down to her knees. The gun falls limply

from her fingers.

She rests her cheek against the wall.

136A The front door is kicked in.

Terminator steps inside. John grabs his sleeve and pushes past him.

He scopes out the situation in two seconds… Sarah, the gun, the

sobbing family. John moves to Sarah while Terminator checks Dyson.

John kneels in front of his mother. She raises her head to look at

him. He sees the tears spilling down her cheeks,

JOHN

Mom? You okay?

SARAH

I couldn’t… oh, God.

(she seems to she him for

the first time)

You… came here… to stop me?

JOHN

Uh huh.

She reaches out and takes his shoulder suddenly, surprising him…

drawing him to her. She hugs him and a great sob wells up deep inside

her, from a spring she had thought long dry. She hugs him fiercely

as the sobs wrack her.

John clutches her shoulders. It is all he ever wanted.

JOHN

It’s okay. It’ll by okay. We’ll figure it

out.

SARAH

I love you, John. I always have.

JOHN

I know, Mom. I know.

TARISSA looks around at the bizarre tableau. Terminator has

wordlessly ripped open Dyson’s shirt and examined the wound.

TERMINATOR

Clean penetration. No shattered bone.

Compression should control the loss of blood.

He takes Tarissa’s hands and presses them firmly over the entrance and

exit wounds.

TERMINATOR

Do you have bandages?

DYSON

In the bathroom. Danny, can you get them for

us?

Danny nods and runs down the hall.

John disengages from Sarah. She wipes her tears, the instinct to

toughen up taking over again. But the healing moment has had its

effect, nevertheless.

John walks toward Dyson and Terminator.

DYSON

Who are you people?

John draws the Biker’s knife from Terminator’s boot. Hands it to him.

JOHN

Show him.

Terminator takes off his jacket to reveal bare arms.

John takes Blythe by the hands and leads her down the hall, away

from what is about to happen.

136B TIGHT ON TERMINATOR’S left forearm as the knife makes a deep cut just

below the elbow. In one smooth motion, Terminator cuts all the way

around his arm. With a second cut, he splits the skin of the forearm

from elbow to wrist.

TERMINATOR grasps the skin and strips is off his forearm like a

surgeon rips off a rubber glove. It comes off with a sucking rip,

leaving a bloody skeleton.

But the skeleton is made of bright metal, and is laced with hydraulic

actuators. The fingers are as finely crafted as watch parts… they

flex into a fist and extend. Terminator holds it up, palm out, in

almost the exact position of the one in the vault at Cyberdyne,

HOLD ON DYSON reacting to the servo-hand in front of him.

He’s seen one of these before.

Tarissa is screaming now, but he doesn’t hear her.

DYSON

My God.

TERMINATOR

Now listen to me very carefully.

137 INT. HOUSE/KITCHEN – LATER

Sarah puts out her fifth cigarette. She’s sitting on the counter.

John, Terminator, Dyson, and Tarissa are at the kitchen table, under

a single overhead light.

Dyson looks like that guy on the Sistine Chapel wall, the damned

soul… eyes fixed and staring with terrifying knowledge. His

shoulder is bandaged. Terminator’s arm is wrapped with a blood-soaked

bandage below the elbow. The steel forearm and hand gleam in the

harsh kitchen light. TRACKING AROUND THE TABLE as Terminator

speaks… we don’t hear the words.

SARAH (V.O.)

Dyson listened while the Terminator laid it all

down. Skynet. Judgment Day… the history of

things to come. It’s not every day you find

out you’re responsible for 3 billion deaths.

He took it pretty well, considering…

Terminator finishes speaking.

DYSON

I feel like I’M gonna throw up.

He looks around at them, clutching the table like he’s about to blow

away. His face, his posture, his ragged voice express soul-wrenching

terror. This is a man ripped out of normal life into their grim

world. His voice is pleading.

DYSON

You’re judging me on thing’s I haven’t even

done yet. Jesus. How were we supposed to know?

Sarah speaks from the shadows behind them. Dyson turns to find her

looking right at him.

SARAH

Yeah. Right. How were you supposed to know?

Fucking men… all you know how to do is thrust

into the world with your… fucking ideas and

your weapons. Did you know that every gun in

the world is named after a man? Colt, Browning,

Smith, Thompson, Kalashnikov… all men. Men

built the hydrogen bomb, not women… men like

you thought it up. You’re so creative. You

don’t know what it’s like to really create

something… to create a life. To feel it growing

inside you. All you know how to create is

death… you fucking bastards.

JOHN

Mom, Mom, we need to be more constructive here.

I don’t see this as a gender-related issue.

(to the Dysons)

She’s still tense.

(to Sarah)

We still have to figure out how to stop it all

from happening. Right?

TARISSA

But I thought… aren’t we changing things? I

mean… right now? Changing the way it goes?

DYSON

(seizing on that)

That’s right! There’s no way I’m going to

finish the new processor now. Forget it. I’m

out of it. I’m quitting Cyberdyne tomorrow…

I’ll sell real estate, I don’t care,,,

SARAH

(coldly)

That’s not good enough.

Dyson’s voice is pitiful.

DYSON

Look, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. I

just want my kids to have a chance to grow up,

okay?

TERMINATOR

No one must follow your work.

DYSON

(thoughts racing)

Alright, yeah. You’re right. We have to

destroy the stuff at the lab, the files, disk

drive… and everything I have here. Everything!

I don’t care.