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Day 1 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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10 Replies
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The opening of Serial Mom reveals that Mom’s physical actions and facial expressions are contrapuntal to her motherly domestic duties and upstaged by the Hillside Strangler in the news and her use of irony and understatement. This carefully constructed scene opens the credits and ends when real police arrive at this happy household. Characters have strong traits, especially Mom. Subtext and visuals are precise and drama is intense. It ends with questions to create suspense.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
As MOM serves the cereal, she spots a lone fly as itlands on the butter dish. Without letting on to her
family, she grabs a flyswatter and begins stalking
the fly with a terrifying intensity, its buzzing
enough to make MOM’s head explode.
DAD
(Reading paper)
Look at this!
(Reading out loud in disgust)
“Hillside Strangler gets his
college degree in prison!”
MOM
(Preoccupied, stalking fly)
That’s nice.
DAD
Nice?! He should have been
executed!
MISTY
He killed people, Mom.
MOM
(To herself)
We all have bad nights.
(Gets ready to swat, but fly
buzzes off)
CHIP
(To MISTY)
You’d probably date him!
(Mimicking her)
He’s cu-uuute! Hey, Dad, did
you ever see “Henry, Portrait of
a Serial Killer?”
DAD
I certainly did not.
MISTY
You’ve been working in that
video shop too long.
DAD
And all that gore better hadn’t be
interfering with your schoolwork.
MOM stalks fly as it lands on CHIP’s toast as the
rest of the family remains oblivious to MOM’s
building anger.
CHIP
I do great in school, Dad.
(Eats toast as fly buzzes off)
A sickened and rage-filled MOM stalks the fly to
DAD’s orange juice glass where it secretes on the
rim in closeup.
DAD
Well, your mother’s going to PTA
today. We’ll see what your
teacher has to say.
(Takes a big gulp as fly buzzes away)
CHIP
(Giving a pleading look to MOM as
the buzzing of the fly builds in
intensity on the soundtrack)
Aw, Mom! I hate Mr. Stubbins!
MOM
(Moving in for the kill, hissing
the words in a rage)
Don’t say the word “hate”, honey.
“Hate” is a very serious word!
MOM swats violently and we see fly splat in bloody
closeup. (“Directed by John Waters” credit appears).
Family is suddenly silent as they uneasily look up
in surprise at MOM’s ferocious attack.
MOM quickly wipes up squashed fly and smiles back at
her family.
MOM
There. All better.
(Suddenly all innocence)
Anybody for scrambled eggs?
END OF CREDITS.
A loud banging is heard on the back door. MOM jumps up
guiltily.
DAD
(Getting up from table)
Who on earth…?
MOM opens door to two police detectives in plain
clothes. DETECTIVE MOORE is younger and more rugged
than the older more world-weary DETECTIVE BRADFORD.
DET. MOORE
Mrs. Sutphin?
MOM
(Nervously)
Yes?
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Amy’s Great Dialogue Scene from (list movie here)
What I learned doing this assignment is great dialogue accomplishes a purpose. Neither person directly says what their goal for the scene is, but by the end, you know what that goal is and whether they’ve been successful.
INT. WAITING ROOM, LOGUE’S CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
Umbrella stand, coat rack, wooden waiting bench: that’s all.
She looks about. The area is devoid of life. Coughs. No
response. Calls imperiously:
7
ELIZABETH
Hello. Is anyone there?
From behind a door:
MUFFLED VOICE (O.S.)
I’m just in the loo.
Princess Elizabeth is not used to this sort of thing. She’s
further appalled by the loud gurgling of a toilet being
flushed, and startled by the entrance of – LIONEL LOGUE – a
tall, middle-aged man with strong features. His demeanor is
friendly, yet professional.
LIONEL
“Poor and content is rich and rich
enough”
*subtext here
ELIZABETH
I beg your pardon?
LIONEL
Shakespeare. I’m sorry, there’s no
receptionist. I like to keep things
simple. How are you Mrs Johnson?
I’m afraid you’re late.
Offers his hand. She takes it, a little gingerly.
ELIZABETH
I’m afraid I am.
LIONEL
Where’s Mr Johnson?
ELIZABETH
He doesn’t know I’m here.
LIONEL
That’s not a promising start.
ELIZABETH
My husband has seen everyone to no
avail. He’s given up hope.
LIONEL
He hasn’t seen me.
ELIZABETH
You’re awfully sure of yourself.
*these two lines are really good. He’s saying he’s the best and she’s saying she’s not convinced.
LIONEL
I’m sure of anyone who wants to be
cured.
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ELIZABETH
Naturally he wishes to be cured. My
husband is required to speak
publicly.
LIONEL
Perhaps he should change jobs.
ELIZABETH
He can’t.
LIONEL
Indentured servitude?
ELIZABETH
Something of that nature.
LIONEL
Well have your hubby pop
by…Tuesday would be good…to
give his personal history and I’ll
make a frank appraisal.
ELIZABETH
I do not have a “hubby”. We don’t
‘pop’. We never talk about our
private lives. You must come to us.
*I love this line. She’s spelling out for him that they are not average people.
LIONEL
Sorry, Mrs J, my game, my turf, my
rules.
ELIZABETH
And what if my husband were the
Duke of York?
LIONEL
The Duke of York?
ELIZABETH
Yes the Duke of York.
LIONEL
I thought the appointment was for
“Johnson”? Forgive me, your
Royal…?
ELIZABETH
Highness.
LIONEL
Your Royal Highness.
ELIZABETH
Johnson was used during the Great
War when the Navy didn’t want the
enemy to know ‘he’ was aboard.
9
(MORE)
We are operating under the
strictest of confidences.
LIONEL
Of course. I’m considered the
enemy?
*He’s trying to come to an understanding with Elizabeth
ELIZABETH
You will be if you remain unobliging.
*This is almost like a threat.
LIONEL
How did you find me?
ELIZABETH
The President of the Speech
Therapists Society.
LIONEL
Eileen McCleod? She’s a sport.
*I’m not sure, but I think he’s saying thanks a lot, Eileen.
ELIZABETH
Dr McCleod warned me your
antipodean methods were “unorthodox
and controversial”. I warned
her…they were not my favorite
words.
LIONEL
I succeed.
ELIZABETH
So she says.
LIONEL
I can cure your husband. But for my
method to work there must be trust
and total equality in the safety of
my consultation room. No
exceptions.
ELIZABETH
Well then, in that case…
Pause.
ELIZABETH (CONT’D)
When can you start?
*Without coming out and saying it, both Lionel and Elizabeth are discussing the terms on which they will be working and are coming to an understanding of one another.
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Budinscak Great Dialogue Scene from The Matrix
Day 1
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Neo has very little revealing dialog in this early scene, but it’s Trinity’s piece that drew me in. It’s her time to shine.
o The importance of this advanced dialog module to the whole program.
o The two facets of dialogue: constant expressions of character and the consistent attack/counterattack.
COMMENT: This is not the best example of great dialog in the movie, but I always enjoyed the initial meeting of Neo and Trinity. All he can do is ask questions, he has no answers, which is ironic since he is ‘The One’, the answer to solving the Matrix.
INT. APARTMENT
An older apartment; a series of halls connects a chain of small high-ceilinged rooms lined with heavy casements. Smoke hangs like a veil, blurring the few lights there are. Dressed predominately in black, people are everywhere, gathered in cliques around pieces of furniture like jungle cats around a tree.
Neo stands against a wall, alone, sipping from a bottle of beer, feeling completely out of place. He is about to leave when he notices a woman staring at him. The woman is Trinity. She walks straight up to him. In the nearest room, shadow-like figures grind against each other to the pneumatic beat of INDUSTRIAL MUSIC.
TRINITY
Hello, Neo.
NEO
How do you know that name?
TRINITY
I know a lot about you. I’ve been wanting to meet you for some time.
****Note: Implication that Trinity’s been searching for Neo for a while.
NEO
Who are you?
TRINITY
My name is Trinity.
NEO
Trinity? The Trinity? The Trinity that cracked the I.R.S. D-Base?
****Note: Establishes a legend, the badass known only by one name – Trinity. I will not dive down the rabbit hole of the religious references tied to Trinity.
TRINITY
That was a long time ago.
NEO
Gee-zus.
TRINITY
What?
NEO
I just thought– you were a guy.
***Note: One of the two statements Neo makes in this scene, otherwise he’s in information acquisition mode asking questions. He’s ill prepared for the reality of his situation.
TRINITY
Most guys do.
***Note: Great line full of subtext.
Neo is a little embarrassed.
NEO
Do you want to go somewhere and talk?
TRINITY
No. It’s safe here and I don’t have much time.
****Note: Implication – time is of the essence, everything I’m telling you is important.
The MUSIC is so LOUD they must stand very close, talking directly into each other’s ear.
NEO
That was you on my computer?
She nods.
NEO
How did you do that?
****Note: He’s still trying to figure out the ‘how’ and Trinity’s way, way beyond that.
TRINITY
Right now, all I can tell you, is that you are in danger. I brought you here to warn you.
****Note: Snap back to reality – Neo, you’re in danger.
NEO
Of what?
TRINITY
They’re watching you, Neo.
NEO
Who is?
TRINITY
Please. Just listen. I know why you’re here, Neo. I know what you’ve been doing. I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone and why, night after night, you sit at your computer. You’re looking for him.
****Note: Introduces us to ‘him’, aka Morpheus. Trinity has baited her hook well, Neo circles inquisitively.
Her body is against his; her lips very close to his ear.
TRINITY
I know because I was once looking for the same thing, but when he found me he told me I wasn’t really looking for him. I was looking for an answer.
****Note: She knows Neo’s ready to bite.
There is a hypnotic quality to her voice and Neo feels the words, like a drug, seeping into him.
TRINITY
It’s the question that drives us, the question that brought you here. You know the question just as I did.
NEO
What is the Matrix?
TRINITY
When I asked him, he said that no one could ever be told the answer to that question. They have to see it to believe it.
She leans close, her lips almost touching his ear.
TRINITY
The answer is out there, Neo. It’s looking for you and it will find you, if you want it to.
***Note: Trinity has all of Neo’s attention. She’s got him, he’s hooked.
She turns and he watches her melt into the shifting wall of bodies. A SOUND RISES steadily, growing out of the MUSIC, pressing in on Neo until it is all he can hear as we –
CUT TO:
INT. NEO’S APARTMENT
The sound is an ALARM CLOCK, slowly dragging Neo to consciousness. He strains to read the clock-face: 9:15!A.M.
NEO
Shitshitshit
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Elizabeth’s Great Dialogue Scene from The Social Network
What I learned: I could go over this one scene many times and find even more than I’ve listed. Pros really do a lot with every line!
FROM THE BLACK WE HEAR—
MARK (V.O.)
Did you know there are more people with genius IQ’s living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
Characterization: Genius IQ matters to Mark…
ERICA (V.O.)
That can’t be true.
Attack/Counter-attack (A/C)
MARK (V.O.)
It is true.
ERICA (V.O.)
What would account for that?
MARK (V.O.)
Well first of all, a lot of people live in China. But here’s my question:
FADE IN:
INT. CAMPUS BAR – NIGHT
MARK ZUCKERBERG is a sweet looking 19 year old whose lack of any physically intimidating attributes masks a very complicated and dangerous anger. He has trouble making eye contact and sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s talking to you or to himself.
ERICA, also 19, is Mark’s date. She has a girl-next-door face that, makes her easy to fall for. At this point in the conversation she already knows that she’d rather not be there and her politeness is about to be tested.
The scene is stark and simple.
MARK
How do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SAT’s?
…because Mark is a genius who thirsts to be distinguished among geniuses—to be the “best of the best.”
ERICA
I didn’t know they take SAT’s in China.
MARK
I wasn’t talking about China anymore, I was talking about here.
ERICA
You got 1600?
MARK
You can sing in an a Capella group.
ERICA
Does that mean that you actually got nothing wrong?
MARK
Or you row crew or you invent a 25 dollar PC.
A/C – ignoring her question
ERICA
Or you get into a final club.
MARK
Or you get into a final club, exactly.
ERICA
I like guys who row crew.
A/C digs at him
MARK.
beat
Well I can’t do that. And yes, it means I got nothing wrong on the test.
Reacts to the dig by finally answering her question: yes I’m amazing
ERICA
Have you ever tried?
MARK
I’m trying now.
ERICA
To row crew?
MARK
To get into a final club. To row crew? No, Are you, like—whatever—crazy?
A/C insult
ERICA
Sometimes, Mark seriously you say two things at once and I’m not sure which one we’re talking about.
A/C complaint
■ARK
But you’ve seen guys who row crew, right?
ERICA
No.
MARK
Okay, well they’re bigger than me. They’re world class athletes. And a second ago you said you like guys who row crew so I assumed you’d met one.
A/C – what you said obviously leads to this assumption…so what you said was wrong. Also characterizes his concrete/empathy-impaired thinking
ERICA
I guess I meant I liked the idea of it. The way a girl likes cowboys.
MARK
The Phoenix is good.
ERICA
This is a new topic?
A/C – dig
MARK
It’s the same topic.
A/C – denies
ERICA
We’re still talking about the finals clubs?
MARK
Would you rather talk about something else?
ERICA
No, it’s just that since the beginning of the conversation about finals clubs I think I may have had a birthday.
A/C – dig
MARK
We can change the subject.
ERICA
can’t get over it
There are more people in China with genius IQ’s than the entire population of–
MARK
It’s about exclusivity.
Clarifies his life-organizing goal – also a set up for the plot with the club
ERICA
God…what is?
A/C – dig
MARK
The final clubs. And that’s how you distinguish yourself. The Phoenix is the most diverse. The Fly Club, Roosevelt punched the Pore.
ERICA
Which one?
MARK
The Porcellian, the Pore, it’s the best of the best.
ERICA
I actually meant which Roosevelt.
A/C
MARK
Theodore.
ERICA
Okay, well, which is the easiest one to get into?
MARK takes a cigarette from a pack, lights it, takes a drag and blows the smoke out before he says…
MARK
Hm.
ERICA
What?
MARK
Why would you ask me that?
He’s interpreted this as a dig, which says more about his paranoid personality here, probably
ERICA
I was just asking.
MARK
They’re all hard to get into. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting on oil futures last summer and he won’t get in. Money or the ability to make it doesn’t impress anybody around here. Everybody can do that.
ERICA
He made $300,000 in a summer?
MARK
He likes meteorology.
A/C though maybe more related to Autism Spectrum than intentional avoidance
ERICA
You said it was oil futures.
MARK
If you can predict the weather you can predict the price of heating oil. You, asked me that because you think the final club that’s easiest to get into is the one where I’ll have the best chance.
A/C -perseverating on his paranoid idea
ERICA
beat
I’ve lost my place again.
A/C complains, again that he is confusing to talk to
MARK
You asked me which one was the easiest to get into because you think that’s where I have the best chance.
ERICA
The one that’s easiest to get into would be the one where anybody had the best chance.
A/C counters his paranoia
MARK
I just, think you asked—the placement of where you asked the question–
ERICA
I was honestly just asking. Okay? I was asking just to ask. Mark, I’m not speaking in code.
MARK
Erica—
ERICA
You’re obsessed with the finals clubs. You have finals clubs OCD and you need to see someone about this who’ll prescribe some sort of medication. You don’t care if side effects may include blindness, okay, just, do it.
A/C – could be interpreted as an attack: you need a shrink.
MARK
Final clubs. Not finals clubs and there’s a difference between being obsessed and being motivated.
ERICA
Yes there is.
A/C an agreement that attacks
MARK
Well you do–that was cryptic–so you do speak in code.
A/C: see, I was right
ERICA
I didn’t mean to be cryptic.
A/C: denies intent
MARK
I’m saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.
ERICA
Why?
MARK
because they’re exclusive.
beat
And fun and they lead to a better” life.
Even better clarifies he’s driven by a need to be exclusive. Everything else is secondary
ERICA
You think Teddy Roosevelt got elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix Club?
MARK
He was a member of the Porcellian and yes I do.
ERICA
Maybe he sang in an a CapeIla group.
MARK
I want to be straight forward and tell you that I think you should be a lot more supportive. If I get in I’11 be taking you to the parties and you’ll be meeting people that you wouldn’t normally get to meet.
A/C – expresses annoyance at her behavior—and a dig. Without me, you’re nothing
ERICA
smiles
You would do that for me?
MARK
You’re my girlfriend.
ERICA
Okay, well I want to be straight forward and tell you that I’m not anymore.
A/C breaking up – sets up his vengeful Reaction, which ultimately leads to everything that happens in the movie
MARK
beat
What do you mean?
ERICA
I’m not your girlfriend anymore,
MARK
Is this a joke?
ERICA
No, I’m sorry, it’s not,
MARK
You’re breaking up with me?
ERICA
You’re going to introduce me to people I wouldn’t normally get to meet? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
MARK
Take it easy.
ERICA
What was it supposed to mean?
MARK
It was Erica, the reason we’re able to sit here and drink is that you used to sleep with the door guy.
A/C dig
ERICA
pause
I want to really try not to lose it now. The door guy’s name is Bobby. I haven’t slept with the door guy, the door guy’s a friend of mine. He’s a perfectly good class of people and what part of Long Island are you from—England?
MARK
I’m from Westchester.
ERICA
I’m going back to my dorm. Wait, wait, this is real?
ERICA
Yes.
MARK
I apologize, okay? Siddown.
ERICA
I ‘m going back to my dorm, I have to study.
MARK
Erica–
ERICA
Yeah.
MARK
I’m sorry and I mean it…
ERICA
I appreciate that but–
MARK
Come on.
ERICA
–I have to study.
MARK
You don’t have to study. Let’s just talk.
ERICA
I can’t.
MARK
Why?
ERICA
Because it’s exhausting. Going out with you is like dating a stairmaster.
A/C honest feedback that hurts
MARK
All I meant is that you go to B.U. and so you’re not likely to–I wasn’t making a comment on your parents–I was saying you go to B.U.
A/C -characterization that is also a dig
ERICA
I have to go study.
MARK
You don’t have to study.
ERICA
How do you know I don’t have to study?!
MARK
Because you go to B.U.!
A/C that may also be characterization (Spectrum challenges)
ERICA stares at him…
MARK
beat
Do you want to get some food?
ERICA
I’m sorry you’re not sufficiently impressed with my education.
MARK
And I’m sorry I don’t have a rowboat.
ERICA
I think we should just be friends.
MARK
I don’t need friends. THEME – and characterization
ERICA
I was being polite, I had no intention of being friends with you.
A/C dig and Theme
MARK
You’re really leaving.
ERICA takes MARK’S hand and looks at him tenderly…
ERICA
close
Listen, You’re going to be successful and rich. But you’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a tech geek. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an asshole.
A/C that is also theme/characterization of Mark – sets up the rest of the movie
And with that stinger, ERICA walks off and we stay on MARK as the pulsing intro to Paul Young’s “Love of the Common People” crashes in–
ERICA
calling over her shoulder
And you’re never getting into a final club.
Along with the MUSIC, we slowly push in on MARK. A fuse has just been lit.
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Rob Bertrand Great Dialogue Scene from Good Will Hunting
What I learned: I learned what makes dialogue great. That dialogue is not a substitute for story.
EXT. BOSTON COMMON — MINUTES LATER
Sean and Will sit in the bleachers at the mostly empty park.
They look out over a small pond, in which a group of
schoolchildren on a field trip ride the famous Swan Boats.
WILL
So what’s with this place? You have a swan fetish? Is this something you’d like to talk about?SEAN
I was thinking about what you said to me the other day, about my painting. I stayed up half the night thinking about it and then something occurred to me and I fell into a deep peaceful sleep and haven’t thought about you since. You know what occurred to me?WILL
No.SEAN
You’re just a boy. You don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.WILL
Why thank you.SEAN
You’ve never been out of Boston.WILL
No.NOTE: This whole monologue completely tears Will down and reveals that you can’t learn everything from a book. There’s something hauntingly beautiful about this speech. It reveals everything we would need to know about Sean. Sean has laid bare his soul in an attempt to connect with Will.
SEAN
So if I asked you about art you could give me the skinny on every art book ever written… Michelangelo? You know a lot about him I bet. Life’s work, criticisms, political aspirations. But you couldn’t tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You’ve never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. And if I asked you about women I’m sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you’ve been laid a few times too. But you couldn’t tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy. If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and non-fictional material, but you’ve never been in one. You’ve never held your best friend’s head in your lap and watched him draw his last breath, looking to you for help. And if I asked you about love I’d get a sonnet, but you’ve never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put an angel on Earth just for you. And you wouldn’t know how it felt to be her angel. To have the love be there for her forever. Through anything, through cancer. You wouldn’t know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand and not leaving because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term “visiting hours” didn’t apply to you. And you wouldn’t know about real loss, because that only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself, and you’ve never dared to love anything that much. I look at you and I don’t see an intelligent confident man, I don’t see a peer, and I don’t see my equal. I see a boy. Nobody could possibly understand you, right Will? Yet you presume to know so much about me because of a painting you saw. You must know everything about me. You’re an orphan, right?Will nods quietly.
SEAN
Do you think I would presume to know the first thing about who you are because I read “Oliver Twist?” And I don’t buy the argument that you don’t want to be here, because I think you like all the attention you’re getting. Personally, I don’t care. There’s nothing you can tell me that I can’t read somewhere else. Unless we talk about your life. But you won’t do that. Maybe you’re afraid of what you might say.Sean stands,
SEAN
It’s up to you.And walks away.
CUT TO:
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Pablo’s Great Dialogue Scene from Ocean’s 11
What I learned: I chose a scene early on in the screenplay. This is a film that has many twists and turns but also a hodgepodge of terrific characters. I wanted to see how and when it draws you in and, to me, it’s definitely the dialogue. It distinguishes each character as well as pull us in to what they are scheming. Danny, the main protagonist played by George Clooney, just gets out of prison and it already looking to pull a heist. The first person he brings along for the job is going by another name. Already we have two shady characters trying and not trying to stay out go trouble. The dialogue clearly conveys this. I learned that every word should reveal the true nature of a character.
AT BLACKJACK TABLE
Danny cranes his neck about the casino, looking for
someone — a friend, somebody who should be here — but
without success. He turns his attention back to his
cards, and the cards of the dealer.
Nine-ten. Stay. Dealer — seventeen. Danny wins.
King-four. Dealer shows a six. Stick. Dealer busts.
Queen-ace. Twenty-one. Danny wins again.
A second dealer relieves the first, and Danny recognizes
him with a smile — this wasn’t the friend he was
scouting for, but two hours out of the joint any familiar
face is welcome.
DANNY
Hello, Frank.
The new dealer (FRANK CATTON) glances up at Danny, and
his eyes go wide, like a priest who’s discovered he’s
dealing communion wafers to the pontiff himself. He
quickly hides his astonishment.
(NOTES: It’s obviously Frank, but he plays it off. Two old cons getting reacquainted.)
FRANK
I beg your pardon, sir. You must
have me confused with someone
else. My name is Ramon. See?
He taps the name embroidered on his vest, although he is
the most African-looking Ramon you’ve ever seen. A pit
boss circles close by and glares at them both.
DANNY
My mistake…
(collecting his chips, doubled)
Table’s cold anyway. (NOTES: A way of saying: I’ll be on my way.)
FRANK
You might try the lounge at the Grand, sir. It gets busy around one.
(NOTES: He’s saying: I’ll meet you there)
DANNY
(as he goes)
Thanks.
INT. LOUNGE AT GRAND
Danny checks his watch — 12:58 — then the lounge around
him: prison had more nightlife. He nurses a bourbon,
folds back the New York Times and scans.
His eyes move down the page and stop at a header —
“Vegas’ Paradiso to be Razed; Former Owner Denounces
Plans” — accompanied by two photographs…
The first: Tan, well-coiffed developer and new owner of
the Paradiso, Terry Benedict, with a beautiful (if barely
visible) woman on his arm. The second: scowling former
owner, Reuben Tishkoff.
FRANK (O.S.)
Catching up on current events?
Danny lowers the paper; Frank is sitting across from him,
changed out of his dealer’s threads.
DANNY
Ramon?
FRANK
Glad to meet you. Frank Catton
wouldn’t get by the gaming board.
(beat)
You just out?
DANNY
This afternoon. (NOTES: Short and sweet. Brings us up to date.
FRANK
(re: Danny’s drink and whereabouts)
And already turning over a new leaf. (NOTES: Good use of cliche expressions.)
Frank signals a passing waitress; she ignores him.
DANNY
(directly, this is why he’s here)
You seen him? (NOTES: Who? I’m intrigued.)
FRANK
Last I heard he was in L.A.
Teaching movie stars how to
play cards.
(beat)
Why? You don’t have something
planned already? (NOTES: Again, intrigued. What is he up to?)
DANNY
You kidding? I just became a citizen again. (NOTES: He denies it. But in doing so, says: Yes.)
Frank stares at Danny a moment, finally catches his eye,
and Danny can’t help but grin: of course he has.
Frank turns his eyes to heaven…
FRANK
Jesus… (NOTE: Double meaning. Funny.)
INT. SUB SHOP – NIGHT
MOVING WITH Danny and Frank.
FRANK
It’s tough now, our line of work.
Everybody so serious. Too many
guns, too many computers. Whadda
you gonna do? Steal from ordinary
people?
DANNY
That would be criminal. (NOTES: They are criminals. But they have principles. Standards.)
FRANK
So what’s left? Banks? Hah.
Banks got no money. It’s all
electronic. Only place that still
takes cash is…
DANNY
Casinos.
FRANK
(realizing)
Oh, no… (NOTE: The big reveal.)
DANNY
Oh, yes…
FRANK
When?
DANNY
Soon. Interested?
Frank smiles. Danny has his answer.
10 INT. SUB SHOP – FOYER – NIGHT 10
Danny pulls a business card from his jacket, picks up the
phone again, and dials the card’s number.
DANNY
Yes, Officer Brooks? My name is
Danny Ocean. I’m just out, I’m
supposed to check in with you
within twenty-four hours.
(listens)
No, sir, I haven’t gotten into
any trouble. No drinking, no sir.
(listens, finishes his bourbon)
No, sir, I wouldn’t even think of
leaving the state.
OFF the sound of a JET fly-over we…
-
Janeen’s Great Dialogue Scene from Notting Hill
I chose this scene because so much of what they convey is subtext, assumption, emotion and wit with very few lines and often, only a word or two.
INT. ANNA’S SUITE SITTING ROOM – DAY
They knock on her door.
ANNA (V.O.)
Come in.
William enters. A certain nervousness. They are alone again.
ANNA
Ahm. That thing I was doing tonight
— I’m not doing it any more. I told
them I had to spend the evening with
Britain’s premier equestrian
journalist.
<NOTE: Anna is nervous for a change>
WILLIAM
Oh well, great. Perfect. Oh no —
shittity brickitty — it’s my sister’s
birthday — shit — we’re meant to be
having dinner.
<NOTE: William is caught off guard by the invitation, and changes his mind about her invitation from surprise to delight to chagrin to apology in a short speech.>
ANNA
Okay — fine.
<NOTE: Anna is surprised by the rejection, but then considers it an invitation and agrees to go with him.>
WILLIAM
But no, I’m sure I can get out of it.
<NOTE: Senses he’s offended Anna and lets her know she is his priority.>
ANNA
No, I mean, if it’s fine with you,
I’ll, you know, be your date.
<NOTE: Almost playing with him now>
WILLIAM
You’ll be my date at my little sister’s
birthday party?
ANNA
If that’s all right.
<NOTE: Still toying with him.>
WILLIAM
I’m sure it’s all right. My friend
Max is cooking and he’s acknowledged
to be the worst cook in the world, but
you know, you could hide the food in
your handbag or something.
<NOTE: Shows William’s wit and inventiveness which attracts her more.>
ANNA
Okay.
WILLIAM
Right.
<NOTE: Not sure how he’s going to explain this to Bella, wondering how Anna will like the group, etc., all with 1 word>
(pause)
WILLIAM
Okay.
<NOTE: Has reconciled himself that it will work and is delighted (as much as Hugh Grant ever is)>
-
Armand Great Dialogue Scene from BRIDGERTON
What I learned from this assignment is…
Dialogue is a screenwriting tool just like visuals, music, character, etc. The two main activities of dialogue are:
An constant expression of character
Consistent attack/counterattack
Dialogue is either setting something up, paying it off, providing other meanings, highlighting something that needs to be in the foreground, foreshadowing something coming up or accomplishing a number of other purposes. Just to highlight this, let me repeat the main point: It is essential that dialogue accomplishes a purpose. Otherwise, it doesn’t belong in a script.
SCENE
15A INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/OUTSIDE PRESENTATION CHAMBER – DAY
As DEBUTANTES don feathers and MOTHERS fuss with their ensembs — we notice a few of them side-eyeing Daphne and Violet, who now stand in front of a pair of MASSIVE DOORS.
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.)
One’s triumph at the palace today invariably signifies one’s success on the marriage mart tomorrow…
A: THE STAKES OF THE SHOW ARE STATED, AND WE KNOW WHAT MATTERS IN THIS WORLD
We move CLOSE on Daphne’s face — all nerves and excitement. And as Violet eyes her daughter, we hear a booming voice:
LORD-IN-WAITING (O.S.) Miss Daphne Bridgerton. Presented by her mother. The Right Honourable, the Dowager Viscountess Bridgerton.
Daphne takes a breath, steeling herself, as the doors open and she peers inside:
16 INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER – CONTINUOUS
Pure decadence up in here. QUEEN CHARLOTTE sits at the far end of the room. SOCIETY MEMBERS, on both sides of an insanely long aisle, all staring back at Daphne now.
Off our girl, taking a step forward, we start to CUT, OUT- OF-TIME:
17 INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
LORD-IN-WAITING
Miss Prudence Featherington. (another card) Miss Philipa Featherington. (another card) And… Miss Penelope Featherington. All presented by their mother. The Right Honourable, Lady Featherington. Reveal the Featherington girls, on the arm of their mother. All eyeing the Queen, who’s already irritated.
BACK TO:
18 INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
Daphne moves down the aisle — slowly, carefully — locking eyes with Her Majesty. The Bridgerton siblings watch from the sidelines, where Eloise covertly reads Whistledown…
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.)
Pray, it is the Queen who shall keep the fashionable world apprised of a lady’s single most valuable and desirable asset: her reputation.
A: ANOTHER GREAT WAY TO INTRODUCE US INTO THE WORLD.
19 INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
The Featheringtons move down the aisle. Looking quite uncomfortable. Because Prudence’s dress is awfully tight, and Philipa is way too nervous, and Penelope’s not even looking at the Queen right now. She’s too busy taking in this amazing space. Lady Featherington elbows her. HARD.
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.)
As such, any lady failing to secure the court’s glowing endorsement shall endure the consequences…
20 INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
Daphne finally reaches the end of the aisle. A mere inches from the Queen now. She curtsies. So deep she’s practically kneeling. Like she practiced. Her Majesty tilts her head. Judging. Everyone leans forward. It’s fucking TENSE.
INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
On Prudence, attempting her curtsy. It ain’t happening. Lady F puts a hand on Prudence’s shoulder. A flagrant attempt to help that curtsy. Queen Charlotte sees it, is about to say something, when she catches Penelope’s mortified face. The Queen sighs, looks away with a flick of her wrist. Lady F just stands there: The fuck does that mean??
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.)
And not just from Her Majesty…
LADY FEATHERINGTON
I should just like to–
LORD-IN-WAITING –You should just like to go, madam.
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.) …But from me.
Lady F nods stiffly. And that’s when a pale-looking Prudence suddenly just… faints. FEATHERINGTON. DOWN. Off an aghast Queen and a humiliated Lady Featherington…
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.) (CONT’D)
For I have at my disposal a most powerful weapon that even the Queen lacks. My pen.
A: AND WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSONALITY?
INT. ST. JAMES PALACE/PRESENTATION CHAMBER
The Queen’s on her feet now. Staring down at Daphne, until:
QUEEN CHARLOTTE
Flawless, my dear.
And she kisses Daphne on the forehead. Anthony smiles from the sidelines, impressed, as GENTLEMEN whisper. Daphne stares up at the queen — her mouth momentarily agape — completely swept up in what’s very clearly a HUGE moment. As Daphne and Violet back away—
DAPHNE (quietly, to Violet)
Did that truly just happen?
VIOLET Keep smiling, dearest. They are watching you. Now more than ever.
LADY WHISTLEDOWN (V.O.)
A weapon this author will wield most keenly. No matter who you are. Or what your name might be…
A: THE OPENING SCENE OF THE PILOT QUICKLY GAVE US THE STAKES, MYSTERY, AND WHAT OUR MAIN CHARACTER WILL GO THROUGH NOW THAT SHE HAS BEEN CHOSEN BY THE QUEEN.
Off Daphne, back to smiling that perfect smile, we have our–
BRIDGERTON TITLE SEQUENCE.
-
Jodi’s Great Dialogue Scene from ‘Witness’ – Day 1
Great dialogue helps move the story forward and it creates characters easy to visualize through their dialogue, it also creates tension and drama, and can be delivered on multiple levels.
I chose the script ‘Witness’:
Up to this point, the introduction shows us an Amish child, Samuel, who’s Dad had just died. He and his Mother go into the city to visit her sister. While they are at the train station, little Samuel, witnesses a killing and sees the murderer when he used the public bathroom. The Character, Book, who is a tough talking cop is played by Harrison Ford and you can visualize through the dialogue the standard Harrison Ford character that he plays in many of his films.
Book nods, starts to turn back to Sam. Just then a commotion off screen catches his attention.
BOOK’S POV – ONCOMING COPS
It’s Capt. TERRY DONAHUE, Chief of Homicide, striding past
the crowd of journalists and TV crews… brushing off
reporters’ questions and snapping orders to the aides he’s
got in tow:
BACK TO SCENE
AS DONAHUE COMES ON BOOK:
DONAHUE
(to aides)
Close it all down… I want a man on
every exit… I want the lab in here
now!
(to Book)
And I want to talk to you, Captain.
ANGLE
As Book steps aside with Donahue… In the b.g. Rachel moves
protectively to Samuel’s side.
BOOK
All right, talk.
DONAHUE
This is homicide – not Internal
Affairs! So why are you behaving
like you own this case?
NOTE: Character is delivered about Book, also Attack/Counters
BOOK
We were running Zenovitch… That’s
all I can tell you. But I want it,
Terry.
(then)
I’ve got a call into Schaeffer.
RACHEL / SAMUEL
They can’t help but watch the confrontation between Donahue
and Book… although they’re keeping the volume down, it’s
obviously intense and angry:
SAMUEL
(alarmed)
Momma… are they angry with us.
RACHEL
(reassuring, but hardly
in her own mind)
No… No. It is just the English
way.
NOTE: Character is delivered about Rachel and her assumptions about Non-Amish, a bit judgmental
Donahue has lost the confrontation; he gives Book a smile:
DONAHUE
You ought to think about coming back
to Homicide, Johnny… Stick with
Internal Affairs and you’re not gonna
have any friends left.
BOOK
(smiles right back)
I’ll buy a dog.
NOTE: Character delivered. The tough guy H. Ford is famous for is repeated here in the character of Book
EXT. 30TH ST. STATION – NIGHT
Book emerges from the terminal, looks about him, then crosses
to a big Mercury Sedan which is parked nearby. Two men sit
in the front seat. Book crosses to the driver’s side and
opens the door.
BOOK
Go get a cup of coffee, Stan.
The driver, a uniformed policeman, glances at the man beside
him who nods in agreement. He gets out and Book gets in behind
the wheel.
INT. SEDAN
Book sits next to SCHAEFFER, a surprisingly kindly looking
man of about fifty. Schaeffer is a Deputy Chief.
SCHAEFFER
How reliable is this kid?
BOOK
Oh, he’s good.
SCHAEFFER
Amish.
BOOK
Yeah.
SCHAEFFER
What have you got?
BOOK
Zenovitch was about to deliver a
list of names tonight – street
chemists… the guys processing this
P2P into speed.
SCHAEFFER
So one of them got to him.
NOTE: Purposeful dialogue
BOOK
Maybe.
SCHAEFFER
You know who?
BOOK
Maybe.
SCHAEFFER
You’re still convinced there’s a
link to the department?
BOOK
If there isn’t I’ve just wasted the
last six months.
SCHAEFFER
That’s the problem. We need results.
The press is driving us crazy over
this P2P thing. Calling us the ‘speed
capitol of the country’. You know
the sort of thing. It’s getting
political. The Commissioner’s getting
very uneasy.
NOTE: More purposeful dialogue is delivered
BOOK
The Amish boy saw him, Paul. I’ll
make it, but Set Donahue and the
Homicide Department off my back or
they’ll blow the whole thing.
SCHAEFFER
When word gets out that Zenovitch
was a cop, all hell will break lose.
You’ve got 24 hours. That’s all I
can give you. 24 hours on your own.
After that the case and the witness
go back to the Homicide Department.
NOTE: More information: Zenovitch was an undercover cop. A countdown/timeframe is established for Book to fulfill
SCHAEFFER
(shakes his head)
Tell you what… why don’t you and
that blonde – what’s-her-name – come
over for dinner Sunday. How ’bout
that.
BOOK
What’s-her-name moved to Buffalo.
NOTE: Purposeful dialogue – It sets up a romance in the future. Gives information on Book’s love life who is now single
SCHAEFFER
(sighs)
Well, anyway, don’t get crazy.
(dismisses him)
I’ll do something for Zenovich’s
wife.
INT. BOOK’S CAR (MOVING) PHILADELPHIA – NIGHT
Book drives around 13th Street, a ravaged corridor between
neon lit restaurants, bars, porno shops and darkened
storefronts.
Carter sits beside him, Rachel and her son in the back seat
looking out at the assorted array of desperate characters
huddled in doorways or wandering aimlessly about. On the
POLICE RADIO a description of the cop killing is BROADCAST
EVERY FEW MINUTES.
CARTER
I got there late, John.
BOOK
Let’s just find Coalmine.
(beat)
Listen, Zenovich made a mistake. You
didn’t let anybody down. It happens
NOTE: Purposeful dialogue. A mistake was made that cost the cop his life.
–
CARTER
(grimly)
It won’t happen again.
RACHEL
Where are you taking us?
BOOK
We’re looking for a suspect. We’ve
reason to believe he’s still in the
area.
RACHEL
You have no right to keep us here.
BOOK
Yes I do. Your son is a material
witness to a homicide.
RACHEL
You don’t understand, we have nothing
to do with your laws!
NOTE: In this one sentence character is delivered about Rachel and how she feels the Amish don’t have to live by the same rules as the rest of society.
BOOK
Doesn’t surprise me. I meet a lot of
people like that.
NOTE: Character is delivered about Book and having to deal with lawless criminals
RACHEL
It’s not a joke.
Book decides to try contrition:
BOOK
You’re right. It’s not a joke. Listen,
I know a little about the Amish. I
know this has to be an ordeal for
you; and I’m really sorry you an
Samuel got involved.
Samuel shoots a look at Book then mutters something to his
mother in German. She responds in the same language. Book
frowns.
BOOK
What was that?
RACHEL
He wants to know who you are. Your
name. I told him we don’t need to
know anything about you.
Book eyes Samuel:
BOOK
Book. John Book
-
Emmanuel’s Great Dialogue Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is dialogue should not necessarily fill the script with back and forth, minor chatter, but move the scene and script forward with thoughtful words or phrases that gives a punch to the character’s trait.
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