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Day 1 Assignments
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11 Replies
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Very few movie scripts hold my attention so I chose this new one about Dickinson. I disagree with the interpretation but like the way the writer set up the images with a short VO and made the poems fly through space. The arrival of the man on the bike, the love of death, and the rebellious smoking are visual ways to embody this reclusive famous poet. She was even more locked down than me, but the inciting incident has her facing the marriage.
SLIDE SHOW – OVER BLACK
The whirring sound of an old-fashioned slide projector. Each
image that appears is small, at the center of the screen.
They are dusty photographs, relics from another time.
NARRATOR
Emily Dickinson was born in 1830,
in Amherst, Massachusetts.
A picture of Emily Dickinson appears. (There’s only one known
photo of her in existence, so it’s this one.)
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
She lived throughout her life in
her father’s house.
A picture of the big, yellow Dickinson Homestead.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Near the end of her life, she
rarely left her own room.
A picture of Emily’s bedroom: sparse, Puritanical.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Aside from a few anonymous verses,
she remained unpublished.
A picture of one of Emily’s poems, scrawled in pencil, on a
scrap of paper.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
When she died, her poems were
discovered.
More poems. Little hand-sewn books of poems. The slides start
moving faster.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Some of the strangest, most
fascinating poems ever written.
More, more. Faster, faster. There are poems on envelopes.
Notecards. Candy wrappers.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Almost two thousand of them.
Hidden. In a maid’s trunk.
The slide reel appears to burn itself out. Darkness.
CUT TO:
CLOSE-UP – A GIRL’S FACE
The face fills the frame. And looks directly at us. The skin
is pale, luminous. The lips are wry, slightly twisted. The
eyebrows, rakish. And the eyes – the eyes are so intelligent,
it’s scary.
A hand comes to the lips. The hand holds a cigarette. This
girl is SMOKING.
EXT. AMHERST COLLEGE, 1855 – DAY
The girl, in a WHITE DRESS, leans against the brick wall of a
college building, smoking a rolled cigarette.
It is springtime. The green lawns of the college are
immaculate. A BUMBLEBEE buzzes on a clover.
The girl takes another drag, and exhales a perfect SMOKE
CIRCLE.
Suddenly, a MAN rides up, on one of those Victorian-era
BICYCLES. He’s a stiff, gray-haired professor-type, in a long
black coat.
He nearly topples off his bike when he sees the girl.
MAN
(indignant)
What’s this?! Women are not allowed
on the grounds of the college. And
smoking?! The very idea… I’ll put
a stop to this. Who are you?
The girl looks at him, ironic, unruffled.
GIRL
I’m nobody. Who are you.
The man sputters.
MAN
I, young lady, am the prefect. And
I’ll give you one more chance,
before I have you dragged from this
campus by force. Identify yourself!
Who are you?!
The girl, slowly, takes another drag. We push in on her face
again, as she answers.
GIRL
I’m Emily Fucking Dickinson.
2.
MUSIC. Specifically, Kendrick Lamar, “King Kunta” (2015).
This twenty-first century anthem of black empowerment
becomes, for now, an anthem of Victorian white-girl
empowerment. What, you have a problem with that?
EXT. WOODS – DAY
With Kendrick as her underscore, EMILY DICKINSON, 25 years
old, struts through the woods of 19th-century Amherst.
KENDRICK
“Bitch where you when I was
walkin’? / Now I run the game, got
the whole world talkin’…”
As she walks, and walks, the weeds and brambles whip at the
bottom of her dress, getting it dirty. The wind reddens her
cheeks. Untidies her hair.
KENDRICK (CONT’D)
“Everybody wanna cut the legs off
him / Black man, take no losses…”
She looks exhilarated. But also like she could kill somebody.
TITLE: DICKINSON
INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – BEFORE DAWN
Four a.m. in the mid-19th century — dark and quiet as shit.
Emily wakes up in her small, creaky bed. She throws off the
covers.
She grabs a shawl, lights a kerosene lamp, and sits down at
her tiny, cramped writing desk. Takes out a pencil and a
scrap of paper. Thinks. Chews her pencil.
Then — she gets into it. Writing. Writing. Lightning
striking in her brain.
And then — an interruption. A KNOCK on the door. From
outside, her sister’s voice.
LAVINIA (O.S.)
Emily! Emily, wake up!
Emily crouches, like a tiger, then explodes.
EMILY
What the fuck!
She slams down her pencil, bangs over to the door, opens it.
3.
Her sister, LAVINIA, 22, plump and curvy with a gap between
her teeth, is standing there, holding a BUCKET.
LAVINIA
You have to go fetch water.
Emily glares at her.
EMILY
It is four in the god damn morning,
Lavinia. I am writing. Wri-ting.
LAVINIA
Mother says you have to go. I did
it yesterday.
EMILY
Why doesn’t Austin do it?
LAVINIA
Austin’s a boy, Emily! He doesn’t
do chores!
Emily shakes her head.
EMILY
This is such bullshit.
Lavinia shrugs, and hands Emily the bucket.
EXT. PATH FROM THE WELL – SUNRISE
Emily trudges back from the well with her bucket full of
water, as the first light of day appears in the sky.
She half-whispers, still trying to puzzle out her new poem.
EMILY
(under her breath)
“Because I could not stop for
Death”… “Because I could not stop
for Death”…
She thinks up another line, and stops dead in her tracks.
Half the water sloshes out of the bucket. She doesn’t care.
She puts the bucket down. Takes a little pencil and paper out
of her dress pocket. She scribbles.
EMILY (V.O.)
“Because I could not stop for Death
– He kindly stopped for me.”
4.
Up in a tree, a BIRD chirps. Emily smiles.
EXT. DICKINSON HOMESTEAD – MORNING
An establishing shot of the BIG YELLOW HOUSE where Emily
Dickinson spent almost all of her life. A pristine, imposing
New England mansion, set amongst woods and hayfields. The
window up on the right is Emily’s room.
This is Main Street, Amherst, 1855 — not exactly bustling.
But still, any action that goes on in the town, the
Dickinsons are right in the thick of it.
Now, Emily emerges from the path, with her bucket, and enters
through a SIDE DOOR.
INT. KITCHEN – MORNING
Emily’s MOTHER, Mrs. Dickinson (think Laurie Metcalf), and
Lavinia are already hard at work in the overheated kitchen.
Mrs. Dickinson tends to a RAGING FIRE on the hearth, while
Lavinia PLUCKS A CHICKEN. As Emily enters, Mrs. Dickinson
attacks her.
MOTHER
We needed that water an hour ago!
Where have you – oh, Emily, this
bucket’s half-empty! You let it all
spill out! Oh, you’re a useless
girl. Useless!
Emily rolls her eyes. This is obviously a familiar routine.
EMILY
Can’t we just get a maid?
Mrs. Dickinson is appalled.
MOTHER
Over my dead body.
EMILY
But why? We can afford one.
MOTHER
It’s not for you to say what we can
and can’t afford, you wicked thing.
EMILY
We own six fricking horses, Mom. We
can get a maid.
5.
MOTHER
When your father married me, I said
he was getting the best housewife
in all Hampshire County. No – in
all New England! I’d rather scrub
the skin off my fingers than hire a
maid. And I’m bringing you girls up
to be just like me.
EMILY
But–
MOTHER
(cutting her off)
You’re going to make a good
housewife someday, Emily Dickinson,
if it kills me.
Mrs. Dickinson claps some flour on her hands, and begins
kneading a huge pile of dough.
MOTHER (CONT’D)
Now – you need to go get dressed.
We have another gentleman coming to
see you.
LAVINIA
Ooh! A gentleman?!
EMILY
Mom, no —
MOTHER
He’ll be here quite soon. So go
upstairs and prepare yourself. This
man could very well be your
husband.
LAVINIA
So romantic!
EMILY
(dark)
I wonder what hideous deformity
this one will have.
MOTHER
Don’t be rude. And you better not
pull any stunts like you did last
time.
EMILY
I made an offering.
6.
MOTHER
You dropped a dead mouse in that
poor man’s lap.
EMILY
Yes. Like a cat.
MOTHER
You are not a cat, Emily!
EMILY
No. Tragically, I am a woman.
Emily exits, but not before grabbing one of the FRESH SCONES
her mother has just pulled from the oven.
MOTHER
Those scones are for the suitor!
Emily’s gone. Mother shakes her head. Lavinia looks annoyed.
LAVINIA
Why don’t I get to have suitors?
MOTHER
I’m not trying to marry you off.
You’re good at housework.
LAVINIA
So I have to die an old maid
because I can fetch water?!
MOTHER
Life isn’t fair, Lavinia.
The Dickinson women go back to work.
INT. EMILY’S BEDROOM – DAY
Emily, in her room, is sneaking another chance to work on her
poem. She sits at her tiny desk, and scribbles. She hasn’t
changed her clothes or brushed her hair or anything.
From downstairs, she hears Lavinia screaming.
LAVINIA (O.S.)
Emily! He’s here!
Frustrated, she slams her pencil down.
7.
INT. PARLOR – DAY
Mrs. Dickinson sits in the parlor drinking tea with the
suitor, GEORGE. George is gawky, but cute — a Jesse
Eisenberg type. Mrs. Dickinson sips her tea, embarrassed.
MOTHER
She’ll be down in a moment. I do
apologize.
GEORGE
(awkward)
Oh – no worries.
Now Emily makes her entrance. She has brushed her hair so
that it all HANGS IN FRONT OF HER FACE. Like Cousin It. She
looks like a woman walking backwards. She looks insane.
She walks into the room slowly, her hair blocking her vision.
EMILY
(dramatically)
Hello.
Mrs. Dickinson gasps.
MOTHER
Emily – cut that out!
Emily laughs, and flips her hair back, so she can see. Then
she looks at the suitor. She recognizes him.
EMILY
Oh, for fuck’s sake. George?!
GEORGE
Hey, Emily.
Mrs. Dickinson is baffled.
MOTHER
You have already made my daughter’s
acquaintance?
EMILY
Mom, this is George. He’s in the
lit club with Austin. We hang out
all the time.
Mrs. Dickinson’s hand is trembling on her teacup.
8.
MOTHER
Well. I was just telling George
here what an excellent wife you
will be. How frugal and punctilious
you are in all your duties–
EMILY
Oh, yeah – I’m a real catch.
Emily flops down in an armchair and, literally, lights a
cigarette. Mrs. Dickinson almost faints.
MOTHER
You put that out right now!
EMILY
(exhaling)
George, can I talk to you for a
second? Outside?
George leaps up, eager for a chance to be alone with her.
GEORGE
Totally!
EMILY
Cool. Mom – we’ll be on the porch.
Try to relax.
Emily heads outside. George follows. Mrs. Dickinson looks up
at the ceiling, praying for help.
EXT. SIDE PORCH – DAY
Emily leans against the porch railing, and takes out another
cigarette. George scrambles to light it for her.
EMILY
What are you even doing here,
George?
GEORGE
I just wanted to see you. (Beat.) I
always want to see you.
EMILY
You know I’m not going to marry
you, right?
GEORGE
Never say never, Emily. Like you
wrote in your poem – “I dwell in
Possibility.”
9.
EMILY
Nice. I love when people quote me.
GEORGE
Why won’t you marry me? I’m not
good enough for you?
EMILY
You don’t understand – I’m not
going to marry anyone.
GEORGE
That’s not what your mother says.
EMILY
I have one purpose on this earth,
George – and it is to become a
great writer. A husband would put a
stop to that.
GEORGE
I wouldn’t.
EMILY
You say that now, but little by
little, you would.
Emily stubs out her cigarette. George grabs her by the wrist.
GEORGE
I’m madly in love with you.
EMILY
Well – too bad.
GEORGE
Is there someone else?
EMILY
Actually – yes.
GEORGE
Who is he? I’ll kill him.
EMILY
You can’t kill him. He is Death.
GEORGE
What?
10.
EMILY
That’s right. I’m in love with
Death.
FLASH TO:
EXT. FRONT WALKWAY – NIGHT
A black carriage pulled by white horses rolls up in front of
the Homestead, in the moonlight. Emily waits for it, at the
bottom of the steps.
EMILY (V.O.)
He takes me out for a carriage
ride, every night. He’s a total
gentleman. A silver fox. Sexy as
hell.
The carriage stops, and a HAND reaches out. Emily TAKES THE
HAND, and climbs in. The carriage rolls away.
BACK TO:
EXT. SIDE PORCH – CONTINUOUS
George shakes his head, in amazement.
GEORGE
You’re such a fucking weirdo. Why
am I so attracted to you?
Emily smiles at him.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
I’d do anything for you.
EMILY
Well… there is – something – you
could do.
GEORGE
Name it.
Emily reaches into the pocket of her dress.
EMILY
You’re still editor of the lit mag,
right?
GEORGE
Well – co-editor – but yes.
11.
Emily pulls out a piece of paper, and hands it to him.
EMILY
I want you to publish this.
GEORGE
Whoa! Awesome! You’re finally gonna
let me publish one of your poems?!
EMILY
Well – I’ve rewritten it forty
times – I’m still not sure it’s
ready, but…
GEORGE
This is perfect timing. We have a
little space in our newest issue –
I can sneak this in. It goes to
print tomorrow.
EMILY
Really?! Tomorrow?!
He nods.
EMILY (CONT’D)
Okay – but wait.
GEORGE
What is it?
EMILY
You can’t print my name.
GEORGE
What? Why not?
Emily looks over her shoulder. Paranoid.
EMILY
My father doesn’t approve of women
publishing.
GEORGE
Oh, come on. That’s stupid. You’re
a genius, Emily – he has to approve
of that.
A TAPPING on the windowpane interrupts them. Emily looks and
sees Lavinia inside, waving at her to hurry up and come in.
EMILY
Couldn’t you put my initials or
something? Or like – anonymous.
12.
GEORGE
No way. You deserve credit. And you
should stand up to your father.
Emily’s silent, thinking this over. Then she smiles.
EMILY
You know what? Fuck it. You’re
right. Publish it, with my name and
everything. Thank you, George.
GEORGE
(pocketing the poem)
Any time, Miss Dickinson.
George leans forward, and KISSES Emily on the lips. Then, he
hops over the porch railing, and takes off, down the lawn.
Lavinia, through the window, makes a kissy-kissy face at
Emily. Emily sticks a finger in her mouth like, gag me.
INT. PARLOR – DAY
Emily marches back into the parlor, where her mother and
sister are cleaning up.
EMILY
That was a disaster.
MOTHER
Yes, Emily, you ruined it again.
LAVINIA
She didn’t ruin it! They were
kissing! I saw!
MOTHER
(scandalized)
Kissing?! My god! What is wrong
with you?!
EMILY
You’re the one who keeps throwing
me at these men!
MOTHER
I’m not throwing you–
EMILY
Yes you are! It’s humiliating!
You’d pawn me off on a widower, a
cripple – anyone who would take me!
(MORE)
13.
The whole town of Amherst knows how
bad you want to get rid of me!
At this moment, Emily’s father, EDWARD DICKINSON, appears in
the doorway.
As soon as he enters the room, the energy changes. He’s in
charge of this family – a bona fide New England patriarch, in
a top hat and tails.
Mr. Dickinson can be tough, even harsh, which is why it would
be great if he was played by someone adorable (say, Bob
Balaban). He loves his daughter Emily enormously, but their
relationship contains much darkness and complexity.
Now, he regards his wife and daughters the way a farmer might
look at some chickens.
EDWARD
What’s all the fuss?
EMILY
Mother’s trying to disown me again.
MOTHER
You’re twenty-five years old,
Emily! I was married at eighteen –
it’s high time for you to find a
husband!
EMILY
And move out, you mean!?
MOTHER
Well yes, that is what happens when
girls get married!
LAVINIA
Why doesn’t anyone care if I get a
husband?!
Edward puts his hands up, shushing them all.
EDWARD
Emily doesn’t have to marry anyone,
as far as I’m concerned.
EMILY
Thank you, Dad. Jesus – at least
somebody around here isn’t trying
to kick me out of the family.
EMILY (CONT’D)
14.
MOTHER
(to Edward, annoyed)
So you’d just let her stay here, in
our house, till kingdom come, doing
nothing all day–
EMILY
I do plenty!
MOTHER
Oh, like what?
EMILY
I’m the one who found all those
bird’s nests.
She points.
INSERT:
In the corner, on a table, is a HUGE PILE OF BIRD’S NESTS.
BACK TO:
EDWARD
(ending the discussion)
All right. It’s time for you ladies
to clear out, so I can enjoy my
pipe and newspaper in peace.
He settles into his armchair. Mrs. Dickinson picks up a tray.
MOTHER
Very well. We should get back to
the kitchen, anyway. Girls, come
with me.
EMILY
God, do I have to?!
MOTHER
(staring at her)
You have a shitty attitude, young
lady.
EMILY
I just don’t want to do chores
twenty-four hours a day.
MOTHER
And what would you do instead?
Everybody looks at Emily.
15.
EMILY
I would just – think.
Mrs. Dickinson sighs. Edward lights his pipe, and chuckles.
EDWARD
Let her have a break, Mother. It’s
all right.
EMILY
Thanks, Daddy! You’re my hero.
She kisses her father on the cheek, and runs out of the room.
Mrs. Dickinson looks at her husband, coldly.
MOTHER
You just love taking her side,
don’t you.
Edward shrugs.
MOTHER (CONT’D)
You’re going to regret it. She’s
wild. She doesn’t know how to
behave like a proper young lady.
And she’ll be the ruin of this
family.
With that, Mrs. Dickinson exits. Edward puffs on his pipe.
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Amy Loves This Opening!
What I learned from this assignment is a great opening makes you want to read the rest of the script and sets up the rest of the story.
Movies: Sleepless in Seattle
CLOSE ON SAM BALDWIN
A card: Chicago.
He’s in his thirties. His neck is pinched into a crisp dress shirt and tie. His expression is vacant, faraway. A breeze blows but he doesn’t react to it. In the distance the architecture of the Chicago skyline.
SAM
Mommy got sick and it happened
just like that and there was
nothing anybody would do.
(continued)
And pull back to reveal:
EXT. CHICAGO – A GRAVESITE – DAY
Next to Sam is his son Jonah, age 9. Sam’s hand is on his shoulder. As the mourners go past and each takes a turn shoveling a clod of dirt into an open grave —
SAM
If we start asking why we’ll go
crazy. So, rule number one.
We don’t ask why.
Note: Provocative opening. Right away you feel sad for Sam because he just lost his wife. You also feel sad for Jonah who just lost his mother.
CUT TO:
CLOSE ON ANNIE REED
Pretty, blonde, animated. Jeans, a T-shirt, a Baltimore
Orioles hat.
ANNIE
Why? I just want to know why?
That’s my first rule. I always
ask why. Come on. Tell me.
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon —
And pull back to reveal:
EXT. CHICAGO ALLEY – DAY
Annie is talking to her boyfriend, a good-looking guy named SETH. They’re carrying packing boxes into the house they share in the Old Town section of Chicago. The same stunning architecture in the b.g. They go up the back wooden staircase to the house.
SETH
There’s no why, Annie. I’m
just not up for it. I never
said I was.
ANNIE
Is there somebody else?
SETH
Nope.
ANNIE
You don’t love me, is that it?
SETH
Nope.
Follow them into:
INT. KITCHEN – DUSK
As they set down the packing boxes and Seth starts to assemble them.
ANNIE
How about … you’re too
narcissistic to commit to
another human being in a long-
term way.
SETH
(agreeably)
That’s good.
Note: Sam just lost his wife and Annie just lost her boyfriend.
CUT TO:
INT. SAM’S CHICAGO TOWN HOUSE – DAY
An attractive, thirtyish couple, SUZY and GREG are stocking Sam’s freezer with enough Ziploc meals for a months. A number of friends and relatives talk quietly in the living room beyond. Sam stands alone by a window that looks into the backyard. We can see a garden of flowers — clearly planted by Sam’s wife.
SUZY
Five minutes in the microwave.
Any one of them, five minutes
and done. Ready to eat. Do
you know how to make juice?
SAM
Microwave. Five minutes.
CUT TO:
ANNIE’S KITCHEN – SEVERAL DAYS LATER
Packing boxes. Seth is moving out.
ANNIE
You take the microwave?
SETH
What am I going to do with a
microwave?
ANNIE
You turn it on, you open it and
you stand in front of it for a
very long time.
SETH
So you’re angry. Big deal.
CUT TO:
SAM’S OFFICE – DAY
A large modern architectural firm in a Chicago high-rise. Lake Michigan out the window. A large space with several architects consulting, drafting, etc. Sam is at his desk, working. An older colleague, ROB, comes over to him. Rob has a mustache, smokes a pipe; he’s kind but a little stuffy.
ROB
Young man, it’s none of my
business, but maybe you should
talk to someone. I myself
have consulted a professional.
I used to be up tight.
On Sam’s face. It’s hard to imagine Rob being any more uptight than he is. Sam takes some business cards out of his shirt pocket and reads them off.
SAM
Hypnotherapy…Shiatu Massage…
Loss of Spouse support groups…
Single parent discussion nights…
Parents without partners.
(starts riffling, angry)
Partners without parents.
People who need people. Guys
who go into the woods, beat
drums and bond. Get a shrink.
Hug a friend. Hug yourself.
He stops, realizing that everyone in the room is staring at him. Quickly they pretend they weren’t paying attention. Someone whispers something to a client.
SAM
(continued)
Don’t mind him. He’s the guy
who just lost his wife.
(beat)
What I really think is we need
a change.
ROB
Good idea. Take a few weeks
off, get some sun, take Jonah
fishing —
SAM
(shaking his head no)
A real change. New city.
Someplace where every time I go
around a corner I don’t think
of Maggie.
And hold on Sam for a moment and–
DISSOLVE:
EXT. WRIGLEY FIELD – DAY
Sam, Jonah and Maggie walking toward the field. It’s a gorgeous day for a game. They high-five each other.
ROB (V.O.)
Where you going to go?
And cut back to:
INT. SAM’S OFFICE – DAY
As Sam snaps out of it.
SAM
I was thinking about Seattle.
Note: 3rd page: Twist-Sam is moving to Seattle.
INT. CHICAGO TRIBUNE – DAY
The Living Section of the paper. Annie is blowing her nose as she finishes telling her tale of woe to her boss, LAURIE JOHNSON.
LAURIE
Honey, he wasn’t right for you.
ANNIE
(blowing her nose)
I know.
LAURIE
He wasn’t even wrong for you,
like cosmically wrong, so don’t
beat up on yourself for
wasting…however long it was.
ANNIE
I know.
(blowing her nose
again)
She pours Annie a cup of hot water. Annie pulls a teabag out of her pocket, puts it into the water.
LAURIE
Maybe you should see a shrink.
ANNIE
I want my money.
LAURIE
Go home for the weekend.
ANNIE
(after a beat)
That’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to go home.
(she thinks about it)
I quit. Laurie, I quit. I’m
going back to Baltimore.
(she’s giddy)
How does a blonde do a high-
five?
She smacks herself in the head.
Note: Another twist. Annie is moving to Baltimore
CUT TO:
O’HARE AIRPORT – DAY
The X where walkway K crosses with walkway L. Coming down walkway K are Sam, Jonah, Suzy, Greg, their son MACK, and several other friends.
And coming down walkway L is Annie with Laurie and a couple of FRIENDS from the paper, JUDITH and DIANE.
They pass each other going in diagonal directions and continue on.
Note: Inciting incident. Sam is leaving Chicago to move to Seattle. Annie is leaving Chicago to move to Baltimore. Although they are moving away from each other, the fact that we saw them cross paths at the airport tell us that the movie is about these two characters and they’re probably going to end up together.
We stay with Sam’s group:
JONAH
(to Mack)
Dad says I’m going to get used
to it, but I don’t think you
can ever get used to a
designated hitter.
overlap:
SUZY
(to Sam)
Eventually, in a few months,
you’ll start seeing women,
you’ll meet someone.
SAM
Move on. Right. That’s what
I’m going to do. In a few
months, boom, I’ll be fine,
I’ll just grow a new heart.
SUZY
I’m sorry —
GREG
Sam, she didn’t mean —
Sam is shaking his head no as they reach the gate for the Seattle plane.
SAM
I know, I know.
(emphatic)
Look, it doesn’t happen twice.
CUT TO:
Annie’s group, as they approach the gate for the Baltimore plane.
ANNIE
I’m going to meet someone,
someone nice and stable who
wears a hat so he won’t catch a
cold, and I’m going to marry
him and have three children
and live happily ever after.
I mean, I am not cut out for this
—
DIANE
For what?
ANNIE
For life as we know it.
LAURIE
Just make sure he isn’t fat
like my Michael or you’ll spend
your whole life worrying he’s
going to drop dead.
JUDITH
God, you guys are so romantic.
ANNIE
Do you know how long romance
lasts?
(she snaps her fingers)
That long.
DIANE
Steven still brings me flowers
every Friday and we’ve been
married 10 years.
LAURIE
(to Diane)
Honey, nobody wants to hear
that.
(to Annie)
Here, darling, have some Tic
Tacs.
Kissing everyone. Annie starts toward the plane, loaded with stuff.
ANNIE
The next time you see me I am
going to be incredibly happy.
INT. PLANE – NIGHT
Sam and Jonah sitting together as the plane waits on the runway. He notices his father’s distractedness, reaches over and takes his hand. Sam comes back into focus.
SAM
I’m your dad. Don’t ever
forget that. That’s rule
number two.
(beat)
It’s you and me, kid.
INT. PLANE – NIGHT
Annie sitting by herself as the plane waits on the runway.
ANNIE
(to herself)
I guess it’s just us.
She gulps.
EXT. O’HARA AIRPORT – NIGHT
The two planes face in opposite directions, waiting for instructions.
And now they both start to take off. In opposite directions.
And we pull back back back back as the planes take off, one flying east, the other flying west.
And further and further back as they soar into the air and leave the frame.
The night sky.
Stars twinkle.
And now tilt down to see the United States. It looks like a cross between a satellite photo and a drawing by Saul Steinberg.
A light goes on in Baltimore.
A light goes on in Seattle.
They are the only lights on the map.
Note: The fact that the map only lights up in Seattle and Baltimore tells us that the movie is definitely about Sam and Annie. We now know that we are going to follow these two throughout the movie.
-
Budinscak Loves This Opening
Day 10
What I learned doing this assignment:
o How well written the opening scenes are, the choice of descriptive words, suspense/intrigue in quality scripts.
o I looked at the first 10 pages of “Silence of the Lambs”, “The Matrix”, “Jurassic Park” and “The Terminator” and “Terminator 2: Judgment Day”. They all had provocative beginnings, but they did not necessarily hit all milestones exactly on the pages.
o I selected “Jurassic Park” – I’ve always been a fan of special effects, Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg.
o Key to having a page turner is a great opening.
But this movie does not hit all the targeted pages
JURASSIC PARK
EXT. JUNGLE – NIGHT
An eyeball, big, yellowish, distinctly inhuman, stares raptly between wooden slats, part of a large crate. The eye darts from side to side, alert as hell.
*****NOTE: An eyeball, big, yellowish. Distinctly inhuman ….the eyes dart … alert as hell. What is it?
A legend tries to place us —
ISLA NUBLAR 120 MILES WEST OF COSTA RICA
but to us it’s still the middle of nowhere.
*****NOTE: still in the middle of nowhere. Where is it?
It’s quiet for a second. A ROAR rises up from the jungle, deafening. The trees shake as something very, very large plows ahead through them, right at us. Every head gathered in this little clearing snaps, turning in the direction of the sound as it bursts through the trees.
It’s a bulldozer. It drops its scoop and pushes forward into the back end of the crate, shoving it across the jungle floor towards an impressive fenced structure that towers over an enclosed section of thick jungle. There’s a guard tower at one end of this holding open that makes it look like San Quentin.
The bulldozer pushes forward into the back end, the crate THUDS TO THE FLOOR. A door slides open in the pen, making a space as big as the end of the crate.
Nobody moves for a second, A grim-faced guy who seems to be in charge (Robert Muldoon, although we don’t know it yet).
MULDOON
Alright now, pushers move in. Loading team move it.
The movement as agitated whatever is inside the crate, and the whole thing shivers as GROWLS and SNAPS come from inside.
Everyone moves back.
MULDOON
Alright, steady. Get back in there now, push. Get back in there, Don’t let her know you’re afraid!
The men go back to the crate and begin to push it into the slot.
The crate THUDS UP AGAINST THE OPENING. A green light on the side of the pen lights up, showing contact has been made.
FROM INSIDE THE CRATE, we get glimpses of what’s on the other side of those wooden slates — jungle foliage, MEN with rifles, searching searchlights.
The view is herky-jerky as the crate put into position.
MULDOON
Well lockedŠ Loading team, step away. Joffrey, raise the gate.
A WORKER climbs to the top of the crate. The search lights are trained on the door.
The RIFFLEMEN throw the bolts on their rifles and CRACK their stun guns, sending arcs of current CRACKING through the air.
The WORKER gets ready to grab the gate when all at once —
A ROAR from the inside the crate, and the panel flies out of his hands and SMACKS into him, knocking him clear off the crate.
Now everything happens at once. The WORKER THUDS to the jungle floor, the crate jerks away from the mouth of the holding pen flash, an alarm BUZZER sounds —
— and a claw SLASHES out from inside the crate. It sinks into the ankle of the WORKER. dragging him toward the dark mouth between the crate and the pen. The WORKER SCREAMS and paws the dirt, leaving long claw marks as he is rapidly dragged toward the crate.
Muldoon SHOUTS orders:
MULDOON
Tasers get in there, Goddamn it!
They FIRE their guns – the wood of the crate SPLINTERS.
Muldoon runs in and grabs the WORKER, trying to pull him free.
The wild arcs of currents from the stun gun flash and CRACK all around, but in a second —
the WORKER is gone.
*****NOTE: Whatever’s in the crate is nothing we’ve ever seen before – intrigue, suspense, curiosity. It’s a page turner.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOUNTAINSIDE – DAY
MANO DE DIOS AMBER MINE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
DONALD GENNARO, forty, in a city man’s idea of hiking clothes and a hundred dollar haircut, approaches on a raft being pulled across a river by TWO MEN.
*****NOTE: City man’s idea of hiking clothes and a hundred dollar haircut – sets him apart as well as sets him up. He’s completely out of his element
On the hillside, JUAN ROSTAGNO, thirty-ish, Costa Rican, a smart-looking guy in workers clothes, is waiting for him.
ROSTAGNO
Tengo mil pesos que dicen que se cae
I have a thousand pesos that say he falls) (or
Apuesto mil pesos que se cae.
I bet a thousand pesos he falls
Gennaro finally lands, and Rostagno helps him off the raft.
GENNARO
Hola, Juanito.
ROSTAGNO
Hola, bienvenido.
Rostagno leads Gennaro towards the mine. Dozen of shirtless WORKERS claw and SCRAPE at a rocky mountainside that is the site of an extensive mining operation. The work is all done by hand, pick and shovel instead of dynamite and bulldozer.
GENNARO
What’s this I hear at the airport? Hammond’s not even here?
ROSTAGNO
He sends his apologies.
GENNARO
You’re telling me that we’re facing a $20 million lawsuit from the family of that injured worker and Hammond couldn’t even be bothered to see me?
ROSTAGNO
He had to leave early to be with his daughter. She’s getting a divorce.
GENNARO
I understand that.
or
I’m sorry to hear that. We’d be well advised to deal with this situation now. The insurance company —
Gennaro almost falls, Rostagno helps him.
GENNARO
— the underwriters of the park feel the accident raises some very serious questions about the safety of the park, and they’re making the investors very anxious. I had to promise I would conduct a thorough on-site inspection.
ROSTAGNO
Hammond hates inspections. They slow everything down.
GENNARO
Juanito, if they pull the funding, that will really slow things down.
or
If they pull the funding that’s going to slow things down around here.
A WORKER hurries up to them and busts into the conversation, breathless.
WORKER
to Rostagno
Jefe, encontramos otro mosquito, en el mismo sitio.
Chief, we found another mosquito in the same place
ROSTAGNO
Seguro? Muestrame!
Are you sure? Show me.
The WORKER and ROSTAGNO scramble back deeper into the mine.
Rostagno calls back over his shoulder to Gennaro.
ROSTAGNO
It seems like it’s going to be a good day after all. They found another one! C’mon.
Gennaro struggles to keep up.
EXT. CAVE – DAY
ROSTAGNO and GENNARO move into the dark, dripping cave, where at least a dozen other WORKERS are gathered in a tight circle, staring at something intently.
Rostagno fights his way to the center of the group. One of the WORKERS hands him something and Rostagno examines it carefully.
It’s a chuck of amber, a shiny yellow rock about the size of a half dollar.
GENNARO
If two experts sign off on the island, the insurance guys’ll back off. I already got Ian Malcolm, but they think he’s too trendy. They want Alan Grant.
*****NOTE: $20M lawsuit filed by family of injured worker, another worker is killed in the opening pages and a lawyer has come here to help quell the jitters of insurance company. We know who they have (Malcolm) and who they want (Grant).
ROSTAGNO
Grant? You’ll never get him out of Montana.
GENNARO
Why not?
ROSTAGNO
Because he’s like me. He’s a digger.
*****NOTE: Nice intro for Grant. Hands-on, focused.
Rostagno turns and holds the amber up to the sunlight streaming through the mouth of the cave.
With the light pouring through it, the amber is translucent, and we can see something inside this strange stone —
— a huge mosquito, long dead, entombed there.
ROSTAGNO
smiles
Hay que lindo eres vas hacer a much gente feliz.
Oh you’re so beautiful. You will make a lot of people happy
CUT TO:
EXT. THE DIG – DAY
An artist’s camel hair brush carefully sweeps away sand and rock to slowly reveal the dark curve of a fossil – it’s a claw. A dentist’s pick gently lifts it from the place its has laid for millions of years.
Pull up to reveal a group of diggers working on a large skeleton. All we see are the tops of their hats. The paleontologist working on the claw lays it in his hand.
GRANT
thoughtfully
Four complete skeletons… such a small area… the same time horizon —
ELLIE
They died together?
GRANT
The taphonomy sure looks that way.
ELLIE
If they died together, they lived together. Suggests some kind of social order.
DR ALAN GRANT, mid-thirties, a ragged-looking guy with intense concentration you wouldn’t want to get in the way of, carefully examines a claw.
DR ELLIE SATTLER, working with him, leans in close and studies it too. She paints the exposed bone with rubber cement. Ellie in her late twenties, athletic-looking. There’s an impatience about Ellie, as if nothing in life happens quite fast enough for her.
Her face is almost pressed up against his, she’s sitting so close.
GRANT
They hunted as a team. The dismembered tenontosaurus bone over there – that’s lunch. But what killed our raptors in a lakebed, in a bunch like this? We better come up with something that makes sense.
ELLIE
A drought. The lake was shrinking – –
GRANT
excited
That’s good. That’s right! They died around a dried-up puddle! Without fighting each other. This is looking good.
From the bottom of the hill a voice SHOUTS to them:
VOLUNTERR (O.S.)
Dr Grant! Dr Sattler! We’re ready to try again!
Grant SIGNS and sits up, stretching out his back.
GRANT
I hate computers.
*****NOTE: Grant is a throwback – he likes to dig and can’t imagine that part of his profession being eliminated.
He shoves the claw absent-mindedly into his pocket and he and Ellie walk toward the source of the voice. As they walk, we get our first look at the badlands. Exposed outcroppings of crumbling limestone stretch for miles in every direction, not a tree or a bush in sight.
In the dig itself, the ground is checkered with excavations everywhere. There’s a base camp with five or six teepees, a flapping mess tent, a few cards, a flatbed truck with wrapped fossils loaded on it, and a mobile home. There are a dozen VOLUNTEERS of all ages at work in various places around the dig. The Volunteers are from all walks of life, dinosaur buffs. Three or four of them have CHILDREN with them, and the kids run around, like in a giant sandbox.
Grant , Ellie and a Volunteer walk down the hill. Grant spots a KID kicking dirt onto one of the digs. He notices and frowns.
GRANT
What’s that kid doing?
to the kid
What are you doing there!? Excuse me! Can you just back off? This is very fragile! Are you out of your mind? Get off that and go find your parents!
to Ellie
Did you see what he just did?
The kid stomps away, pissed off.
KID
Asshole.
GRANT
to Ellie
Why do they have to bring their kids?!
*****NOTE: Nice setup of Grant disliking kids, which we know is a payoff for later.
ELLIE
You could hire your help. But there’s four summers of work here, with the money for one. And you say it’s a learning experience, sort of a vacation, and you get volunteers with kids.
He and Ellie arrive to where several VOLUNTEERS are clustered around a computer terminal that’s set up on a table in a small tent, its flaps lashed open.
GRANT
to the Volunteer
Ready to give it a shot, Jerry?
A LITTLE GIRL moves a little too close to the machine.
ELLIE
Want to watch the computer?
Ellie quietly moves her out of Grant’s way, to a place she can see.
VOLUNTEER
Thumper ready?
MAN
Ready.
VOLUNTEER
Fire.
The VOLUNTEER throws a switch on a machine that looks a bit like a floor buffer. The whole thing hops up into the air as it drives a soft lead pellet into the earth with a tremendous force. There is a dull THUD, the earth seems to vibrate, and all eyes turn to the computer screen —
ELLIE
How long does this usually take?
VOLUNTEER
It should be immediate return. You shoot the radar into the ground, the bone bounces back…. The screen suddenly comes alive, yellow contour lines tracing across it in three waves, detailing a dinosaur skeleton.
VOLUNTEER
This new program’s incredible! A few more years of development and you don’t have to dig any more!
Grant looks at him, and his expression is positively wounded.
GRANT
Well, where’s the fun in that?
VOLUNTEER
It looks a little distorted, but I don’t think that’s the computer.
ELLIE
shakes her head
Postmortem contraction of the posterior neck ligaments.
to Grant
Velociraptor?
GRANT
Yes. Good shape, too. Five, six feet high. I’m guessing nine feet long. Look at the —
He points to part of the skeleton, but when his finger touches the screen the computer BEEPS at him and the image changes. He pulls his hand back, as if it shocked him.
VOLUNTEER
What’s you do?
ELLIE
He touched it. Dr. Grant is not machine compatible.
GRANT
They’ve got it in for me.
The Volunteer LAUGHS and touches a different part of the screen, which brings the original image back. Grant continues, but doesn’t get as close.
GRANT
Look at the half-moon shaped bone in the wrist. No wonder these guys learned to fly.
The group laughs. Grant is surprised.
GRANT
Now, seriously. Show of the hands. How many of you have read my book?
Everyone stops laughing and looks away. Ellie raises her hand supportively. So does the Volunteer, Grant sighs.
GRANT
Great. Well maybe dinosaurs have more in common with present-day birds than reptiles. Look at the public bone — it’s turned backwards, just like a bird. The vertebrae — full of hollows and air sacs, just like a bird. Even the word raptor means “bird of prey”.
The kid steps forward and looks at the computer skeleton critically.
KID
That doesn’t look very scary. More like a six-foot turkey.
Everyone sort of draws in their breath and steps aside, revealing the KID, standing alone. Grant turns to the Kid, lowers his sunglasses, and stares at him like he just came from another planet.
Grant strolls over to the KID , puts his arms around his shoulders in a friendly way.
GRANT
Try to imagine yourself in the Jurassic Period.
or
Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period.
Ellie rolls her eyes.
ELLIE
under her breath
Here we go.
GRANT
You’d get your first look at the six-foot turkey as you move into a clearing. But raptor, he knew you were there a long time ago. He moves like a bird; lightly, bobbing his head, And you keep still, because you think maybe his visual acuity’s based on movement, like a T-rex, and he’ll lose you if you don’t move. But no. Not VELOCIRAPTOR. You stare at him, and he just stares back. That’s when the attack comes — not from the front, no, from the side, from the other two raptors you didn’t even know were there.
Grant walks around the Kid.
GRANT
Velociraptor’s a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns, and he’s out in force today. And he slashes at you with this —
He takes the claw from his pocket and holds it at the front of the raptor’s three-toed foot.
GRANT
— a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. They don’t bother to bite the jugular, like a lion, they just slash here, here —
He points to the Kid’s chest and thigh.
GRANT
— or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. Point is, you’re alive when they start to eat you. Whole thing took about four seconds.
The Kid is on the verge if tears.
GRANT
So, you know, try to show a little respect.
*****NOTE: Grant leaves the kid on the verge of tears, ‘show a little respect’, turns and walks away.
And with that he walks back across the camp, returning to his skeleton. Ellie hurries to catch up with him.
ELLIE
You know, if you really wanted to scare the kid you could’ve just pulled a gun on him.
GRANT
Yeah, I know, you know…kids. You want to have one of those?
ELLIE
Well, not one of those, well yeah, a possibly one at some point could be a good thing. What’s so wrong with kids?
GRANT
Oh, Ellie, look. They’re noisy, they’re messy, they’re sticky, they’re expensive.
ELLIE
Cheap, cheap, cheap.
GRANT
They smell.
ELLIE
Oh my god, they do not! They don’t smell.
GRANT
They do smell. Some of them smell.. babies smell.
ELLIE
Alright, the one on the airplane had an accident, but usually babies don’t smell.
GRANT
They know very little about the Jurassic Period they know less about the Cretaceous.
ELLIE
The what?
GRANT
The Cretaceous.
ELLIE
Anything else, you old fossil?
GRANT
Yeah, plenty. Some of them can’t walk!
ELLIE
It frustrates me so much that I love you, that I need to strangle you right now!
Ellie playfully takes Grant’s hat off and gives him a tight hug.
They kiss.
A strange wind seems to be whipping up. Grant and Ellie look around, confused. The wind is getting stronger, blowing dirt and sand everywhere, filling in everything they’ve dug out, blowing the protective canvasses off. Now there’s a more familiar ROAR, and they look up and see it —
— a huge helicopter, descending on the camp.
ELLIE
to the volunteers
Get some canvasses and cover anything that’s exposed!
Grant’s already on it, trying to desperately to protect the skeleton he’s excavating. He looks up at the helicopter and SHOUTS, shaking his fist.
*****NOTE: Suspense – who is this?
CUT TO:
EXT. BASE CAMP – DAY
Down at the base camp, the helicopter has landed. The PILOT is already out, waiting as GRANT comes down from the mountaintop like Moses steaming. Grant gestures wildly at him to turn the chopper off.
The pilot points timidly to a mobile home across the camp.
Grant runs to the trailer.
EXT. TRAILER – DAY
The door to the trailer SLAPS open, and GRANT storms in.
GRANT
What the hell do you think you’re doing in here?
The trailer serves as the dig’s office. There are several long wooden tables set up, every inch covered with bone specimens that are neatly laid out, tagged, and labeled.
Farther along are ceramic dishes and crocks, soaking other bones in acid and vinegar.
There’s old dusty furniture at one end of the trailer, and a refrigerator. A man roots around in the refrigerator, his back to us.
GRUMBLING about the contents which are mostly beer.
His hand falls across a bottle of expensive champagne in the back.
MAN
Ah hah!
He pulls it out – the cork POPS.
The Man turns around. JOHN HAMMOND, seventy-ish, is sprightly as hell, with bright, shining eyes that say “Follow me!”
Grant stares incredulously at the Man, holding his champagne bottle without an invitation.
GRANT
Hey, we were saving that!
HAMMOND
For today, I guarantee it.
GRANT
And who in God’s name do you think you are…?
HAMMOND
John Hammond. And I am delighted to finally meet you in person Dr Grant.
Grant is struck silent. He shakes his hand, staring dumbly.
GRANT
Mr. — Hammond?
Hammond looks around the trailer approvingly, at the enormous amount of work the bones represent.
HAMMOND
I can see my fifty thousand a year as been well spent.
The door SLAPS open again and ELLIE comes in, just as pissed off as Grant was.
ELLIE
Okay, who’s the jerk?
GRANT
Uh, this is our paleobotanist, Dr Ellie…
ELLIE
Sattler.
GRANT
Dr Sattler. Ellie, this is Mr. HAMMOND.
in case she didn’t catch it
John Hammond.
ELLIE
Did I say jerk?
*****NOTE: It’s quite evident neither Grant or Stattler has ever met the person who funded their operation. I enjoy when their anger disappears when they find out who this is.
HAMMOND
I’m sorry for the dramatic entrance, but I’m in a hurry. Will you have a wee bit of a drink now and then?
Hammond begins to walk into the kitchen, making himself at home.
Ellie follows him tries to help. Grant settles behind the table.
HAMMOND
Come along then, don’t let it get warm!
expansively
Come on in, both of you. Sit down.
As Hammond moves, they notice he walks with a slight limp and uses a cane — for balance or style, it’s hard to say witch.
ELLIE
I have samples all over the kitchen.
she takes some stones out of one of the glasses
HAMMOND
Come along. I know my way around a kitchen. Come along.
Ellie goes around towards Grant. She grabs a bottle of water.
They look at each other, really aback by this guy’s bravado, and site down. Hammond dries the glasses.
HAMMOND
Well now, I’ll get right to the point. I like you. Both of you. I can tell instantly with people; it’s a gift.
new subject
I own an island. Off the coast of Costa Rica. I leased it from the government and spent the last five years setting up a kind of biological preserve down there. Really spectacular. Spared no expense. It makes the one I had in Kenya look like a petting zoo. No doubt that sooner or later our attractions will send
drive the
kids right out of their minds.
GRANT
And what are those?
ELLIE
Small versions of adults, honey.
He gives her a dirty look.
HAMMOND
Not just kids — for everyone. We’re going to open next year. Unless the lawyers kill me first. I don’t care for lawyers. You?
GRANT
I, uh, don’t really know any. We —
HAMMOND
Well, I’m afraid I do. There’s one, a particular pebble in my shoe. He represents my investors. He says they insist on outside opinions.
GRANT
What kind of opinions?
HAMMOND
Not to put a fine point on it, your kind. Let’s face it, in your particular field, you’re the top minds. If I could just get you two to sign off on the park — you know, give a wee testimonial — I could get back on schedule —
he Americanizes him pronunciation
— schedule.
ELLIE
Why would they care what we think?
GRANT
What kind of park is it?
HAMMOND
smiles
Well, it’s — right up your alley.
hands Grant a drink
Look, why don’t you both
the pair of you
come on down for the weekend. Love to have the opinion of a paleobotoanist as well.
hands Ellie a drink
I’ve got a jet standing by at Choteau.
he jumps up and sites on the counter
GRANT
No, I’m sorry, that wouldn’t be possible. We’ve just discovered a new skeleton, and —
HAMMOND
pours himself a drink
I could compensate you by fully funding your dig.
GRANT
— this would be an awfully unusual time —
HAMMOND
For a further three years.
Grant OOFS as Ellie elbows him hard in the ribs.
ELLIE
Where’s the plane?
*****NOTE: This is the inciting incident. Not necessarily the first 10 pages, primarily due to the introduction of the attorney & legal issues with the park, but still very intriguing.
-
Elizabeth’s opening
What I learned: I intentionally picked a “quiet” opening, as a comp to my current project. For me at least, what makes this work are the idiosyncrasies and struggles of the characters and their challenged relationships, questions about what life means, the role of communicating/connecting, and “accomplishments” to prove value. And they’re about to be packed into a car together for the sake of the youngest, a classically “unattractive” girl who deeply yearns to win a beauty pageant.
ECU – VIDEO PIXELS
Five young women stand side by side, waiting to be judged, breathless, hopeful. A name is announced. Four hearts break.
The camera ZOOMS across the smiles of the losers to find a winner. She bursts into tears, hugs the nearest runner up.
Begin CREDITS.
MUSIC, quiet and melancholy, plays over all the opening scenes, leading to the Title card.
The Contest Winner cries and hugs the Runners-up as she has the tiara pinned on her head. Then, carrying her bouquet, she strolls down the runway, waving and blowing kisses.
INT. BASEMENT REC ROOM – DAY
A six-year-old girl sits watching the show intently.
This is OLIVE. She is big for her age and slightly plump.
She has frizzy hair and wears black-rimmed glasses. She studies the show very earnestly.
Then, using a remote, she FREEZES the image.
Absently, she holds up one hand and mimics the waving style of Miss America. She REWINDS the tape and starts all over.
Again, Miss America hears her name announced, and once again breaks down in tears, overwhelmed and triumphant.
RICHARD (V.O.)
There’s two kinds of people in this world — Winners — and Losers.
The Question: is this true? If so:
The Hook: how can this plump, frizzy-haired “4-eyed” 6 year old ever be a winner in this world?
Unique opening. And we’re rooting for her already
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
RICHARD (45) stands at the front of a generic community college classroom, cinderblock walls, industrial carpeting.
He wears pleated khaki shorts, a golf shirt, sneakers. He moves with the stocky, stiff-legged gait of a former athlete. His peppy, upbeat demeanor just barely masks a seething sense of insecurity and frustration. MUSIC continues underneath.
RICHARD
If there’s one thing you take away from the nine weeks we’ve spent, it should be this: Winners and Losers. What’s the difference?
Richard turns with a remote and clicks through a Power Point presentation, projected on the wall behind him.
The slides mimic Darwin’s “Evolution of Man” chart, except that they show a lumpy, hunched-over, sad-sack “Loser” evolve into a smiling, triumphant, arms-over-his-head “Winner”.
RICHARD
Winners see their dreams come true. Winners see what they want, they go out and they get it. They don’t hesitate. They don’t make excuses. And they don’t give up. Losers don’ t get what they want. They hesitate. They make excuses. And they give up. On themselves and their dreams.
Richard puts down his remote for the big finale. In the dim half-light, it’s a hushed, dramatic moment.
RICHARD
Inside each of you — at the very core of your being — is a Winner waiting to be awakened — and unleashed upon the world. With my nine step “Unleash the Winner Inside” program, you now have the tools, the know-how, the insights you need to put your losing habits behind you and make your dreams come true. No hesitating! No excuses! I want you to go out into the world — and be Winners!
Big smile.
REVERSE ANGLE. There are twenty STUDENTS in a classroom that could seat two hundred. They CLAP half-heartedly.
Then there’s an awkward moment when everyone gathers their stuff. No one says anything. Chairs SCRAPE the floor.
SHERYL (V.O.)
— Yeah, I’m on my way now.
INT. CAR – DAY
A woman, SHERYL, 40s, is smoking and talking on a cell phone as she weaves through a strip-mall landscape. She wears office attire and a name tag that reads, “Sheryl”.
SHERYL
— I don’t know how long — I don’t know–! Richard, he doesn’t have anywhere else to go!
She takes a drag, listens with increasing irritation, then exhales. A beat.
SHERYL
I’m not smoking — I’m not! Look, I’m at the hospital —
beat
Yeah, I’ll pick up a bucket of chicken. Okay, bye.
She beeps off her phone.
EXT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – DAY
Sheryl strides anxiously down a hospital corridor, fingering a small cross on her necklace, going from one room to another, checking room numbers. She finds the room she’s looking for.
As she tries to enter, a DOCTOR emerges. They nearly collide.
DOCTOR
Ms. Harvey?
Sheryl nods
Your brother’s fine —
Sheryl exhales, hugely relieved.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
In a wheelchair, parked against a wall, is Sheryl’s brother, FRANK, also middle-aged. His wrists are wrapped in bandages.
With empty eyes, he listens to the muted VOICE of the Doctor coming from the hallway.
DOCTOR (O.S.)
— Keep him away from sharp objects: knives, scissors — If you have medications — depressants — in your house, keep them secured.
INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR – DAY
Sheryl listens to the Doctor.
DOCTOR
I’d prefer to keep him, but —
SHERYL
I know, the insurance —
She shakes her head and sighs.
DOCTOR
You want to see him –?
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Sheryl and the Doctor enter. Frank barely reacts.
SHERYL
Hey, Frank —
FRANK
Sheryl.
Fighting tears, she goes and hugs him.
SHERYL
I’m so glad you’re still here.
FRANK
Well. That’s one of us.
Twist: amidst the happy dreams of a young girl and desperate strivings of a slipping, middle-aged man is another who’s reached rock bottom—suicide risk after a suicide attempt.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Two hands spill a brown powder onto a small mirror.
A razor blade cuts the powder into lines.
A rolled-up dollar bill lowers. The lines are snorted.
The snorter lifts his head up. He is a short, chunky, balding old man, a Roz Chast kind of grandfather.
This is GRANDPA, 80 years old. Another twist…and an 80 year old who snorts cocaine. Or something
He sits down on the toilet seat, rubs his nose, takes a breath and relaxes as the drugs flood his system.
INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY
DWAYNE is a handsome, skinny fifteen year old with a mohawk. He lies on his back in his bedroom, bench-pressing a barbell.
The bedroom is dominated by a huge portrait of Friedrich Nietzsche, painted on a bed sheet, hanging on one wall.
JUMP CUTS:
Dwayne does vertical sit-ups on a wall-mounted brace.
Dwayne does vertical push-ups leaning against the wall.
Dwayne breathes heavily, having finished his work-out.
He walks to a home-made calender on the wall made from a long roll of computer paper. It is marked, “Enlistment.”
On the roll is a long grid of maybe a thousand squares. About half the squares have been filled in with magic marker.
Dwayne uncaps a magic marker and fills in one more square.
INT. CAR – DAY
Sheryl drives Frank home from the hospital. They say nothing. Sheryl sneaks glances at Frank. Hesitantly:
SHERYL
You want to talk? Or no?
Frank stares at the road in front of them. Finally:
FRANK
No.
SHERYL
Okay.
She nods. They keep driving.
FADE TO BLACK
TITLE:
“LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE”
MUSIC ENDS.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
An empty kitchen. A phone and answering machine sit in the FOREGROUND. The message light is BLINKING.
In the background, through a doorway, the front door opens. Sheryl and Frank enter carrying several bags and suitcases.
SHERYL
calling out
Hello! Anyone–?!
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
She leads Frank down a hallway. He follows passively.
SHERYL
Down here. We have you with Dwayne.
She knocks and pushes open the door to Dwayne’s room. Dwayne is on the bed, reading THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA. He sits up.
SHERYL
Dwayne? Hi, Uncle Frank’s here.
Frank hesitates. He gives Sheryl a look: “You’re kidding.”
SHERYL
He doesn’t mind, Frank. We talked.
Frank makes a half-gesture towards the rest of the house.
SHERYL
We can’t have you sleeping alone. The doctors said —
he looks at her
I’m sorry. I have to insist.
Dwayne gets up and exits the room, pushing past them and avoiding eye contact. Sheryl enters the bedroom.
INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Sheryl goes and brushes off a cot. Frank remains outside.
SHERYL
You’ll get along fine. He’s really quiet. Look, I set up a cot.
he hesitates
Please, Frank? Please?
Very unhappily, Frank enters the room and just stands there.
SHERYL
Thank you. I gotta start dinner. Come out when you’re settled? And leave the door open. That’s important.
beat
I’m glad you’re here.
She gives him a kiss on the cheek, then departs.
Frank sits on the cot in his nephew’s bedroom. On it is a Muppet sleeping bag with the Cookie Monster eating a cookie.
Frank glances at the sleeping bag, then averts his eyes.
This is pretty much the worst moment of his life.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Dwayne is at the dinner table, reading. Sheryl walks by.
SHERYL
Dwayne, honey, there’s a bucket of chicken in the car. Can you get it and I’11 make a salad?
Dwayne silently gets up and departs, and the chaotic ballet of dinner preparations in the Harvey household begins. Sheryl opens the door to the downstairs rec room and shouts.
SHERYL
Olive?’
OLIVE (O.S.)
Yeah?’
SHERYL
Is Grandpa with you? !
OLIVE (O.S.)
Yeah!
SHERYL
What are you guys doing?
OLIVE (O.S.)
Rehearsing!
SHERYL
Okay! Dinner in ten minutes!
OLIVE (O.S.)
Okay!
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Sheryl enters, opens the refrigerator, and begins pulling out stuff to make a salad.
Abruptly, from the kitchen side door, Richard enters.
RICHARD
Hi.
SHERYL
Hi. Frank’s here.
RICHARD
Oh. Did Stan Grossman
SHERYL
Check the machine.
He walks over and hits the answering machine.
MACHINE
Hello. You have one message.
It rewinds. Dwayne enters holding a bucket of KFC.
SHERYL
Just put it on the table, hon. And can you set the table? We’ll do paper plates tonight. I’ll get cups and napkins.
Dwayne nods and departs. Sheryl exits in the other direction. The phone message begins.
JEFF (О.С.)
filtered
Sheryl, hey, it’s Jeff. Listen, great news. You know, when Olive was down here last month, she was runner up in the regional Little Miss Sunshine–?
RICHARD
calling to Sheryl
It’s from Jeff.
to himself
Fuck!
He stalks off. The MESSAGE plays to the empty kitchen.
JEFF (O.C.)
filtered
— Well, they just called me and said that the girl who won had to forfeit her crown. I don’t know why something about diet pills — but anyway, that means Olive won the regionals, so now she has a place in the State contest in Boca. They want to make sure she can make it, so I said you’d call them —
Sheryl re-enters. She tries to listen to Jeff’s message.
JEFF (O.C.)
filtered
— The woman’s name is Lauren Henderson and her number —
BEEEEP. The machine cuts him off. Sheryl, not understanding, shakes her head and returns to making her salad. Richard re enters, picks up the phone and dials. Over the following, Dwayne comes in and out, picking up stuff to set the table.
RICHARD
into phone
Richard Harvey for Stan Grossman. Can you reach him–?! Yeah, tell him I want to know this thing is done — I’m waiting for the numbers. No, I understand that. I understand. Look, he has my cell, if he could just call me anytime over the weekend and let me know we’re on, I’d be very, very grateful. Okay. Thank you. Bye.
He hangs up.
RICHARD
Bitch.
SHERYL
Richard–! So what happened with Stan Grossman?
RICHARD
He’s still in Atlanta.
SHERYL
So why hasn’t he called you?
RICHARD
Will you let me worry about this?!
Sheryl exhales, goes back to her salad. Dwayne comes in.
SHERYL
Dwayne, can you check on Frank? Tell him it’s dinner time.
Dwayne nods and heads off. Sheryl walks back to the door to the downstairs rec room and opens it again.
SHERYL
Olive?! Dinner time!
OLIVE (O.S.)
Okay!
INT. DWAYNE’S BEDROOM – DAY
Frank sits on the cot, staring at a photo in his wallet (we can’t see it). FOOTSTEPS approach. Frank puts the photo away.
Dwayne appears in the door, knocks, and mimes eating.
FRANK
Dinner?
Dwayne nods
What? You don’t talk anymore?
Dwayne shakes his head
Why not?
Dwayne rolls his eyes and half-shrugs.
FRANK
You can talk. You just choose not to?
Dwayne nods. Then he points to the bed-sheet painting of Nietzsche hanging on his wall. Frank turns and looks.
FRANK
Is that Nietzsche? You don’t speak because of Friedrich Nietzsche?
Dwayne nods, turns and leaves. Frank considers this.
FRANK
Far out.
The kid doesn’t talk! The uncle digs this
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Dwayne sits in his chair, folds his arms, and scowling, waits for everyone else to arrive. Frank tentatively follows. Sheryl comes out and puts her salad on the table.
SHERYL
Frank, you can sit here, next to Dwayne. Here’s the salad. I’m gonna run get Sprite for everyone.
She walks off, pausing to open the rec room door again.
SHERYL
Olive! Come on! Dinner time!
OLIVE (O.S.)
Coming!!!
Sheryl disappears, leaving Dwayne and Frank alone. Frank sits. Dwayne scowls at the table in front of him.
Frank looks at his place setting, a paper plate and a Big Gulp cup with the Incredible Hulk on it. He picks up the cup and examines it dispassionately. He puts it down.
Dwayne doesn’t move. Frank glances at Dwayne, not knowing what to do. He seems to have met someone who is at least as unhappy as he is.
This intrigues him. He ventures:
FRANK
Got a girlfriend?
Dwayne looks at Frank, then shakes his head.
FRANK
Boyfriend?
Dwayne gives Frank a look.
FRANK
Kidding. Kidding. I know.
beat
So who do you hang out with? Dwayne shakes his head.
FRANK
No one? There must be someone –!
Dwayne shakes his head
You don’t hang out with anyone? Oh come on. You must have one friend!
Dwayne reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a palm-sized pad of paper. He flips it open and scribbles a note.
He shows it to Frank. It reads:
”I hate everyone.”
FRANK
Everyone? What about your family?
Dwayne scribbles again. He shows it to Frank. It now reads:
“I HATEEVERYONE!!I”
He’s underlined “everyone” three times.
Frank looks at him.
FRANK
You hate me?
Dwayne considers this. He scribbles a new note. It reads:
“Not yet.”
FRANK
Fair enough.
They go back to sitting in silence. Richard comes out.
RICHARD
Frank. Good to see you.
FRANK
Richard —
They shake. Richard sits down. Silence. Richard stands up.
RICHARD
I’m gonna get Olive.
He walks to the downstairs doorway and shouts.
RICHARD
Dad! Olive! Come on!
OLIVE (O.S.)
shrieking
We’re coming!!!
Sheryl enters with a big bottle of Diet Sprite.
SHERYL
You guys, go on and start. Frank, some Sprite? I want everyone to have at least a little salad.
FRANK
Thanks, Sheryl.
She pours him a cup, sits down, and starts opening containers of cole slaw and mashed potatoes.
Richard returns to the table, sits, and grabs a piece of chicken from the bucket. Dwayne follows suit, as does Frank.
The meal begins. Three seconds of silence.
FRANK
So, Sheryl — I couldn’t help notice Dwayne has stopped speaking.
SHERYL
Oh! I’m sorry. Dwayne’s taken a vow of silence.
FRANK
You’ve taken a vow of silence?’
Dwayne nods.
SHERYL
He’s gonna join the Naval Academy and become a fighter pilot. He’s taken a vow of silence until he reaches that goal.
FRANK
to Dwayne
You’re kidding–!
Dwayne stares at Frank. He’s not kidding. Olive enters the dining room, with Grandpa following.
OLIVE
Hi, Uncle Frank!
FRANK
Olive. Boy, you’re gettin’ big!
to Sheryl
Is she big for her age?
Sheryl nods. Olive, unprompted, walks over and gives him a kiss on the cheek. She sees the bandages on Frank’s wrists.
OLIVE
What happened to your arms?
SHERYL
Olive —
FRANK
No, it’s okay. I had a little accident. I’m okay now.
RICHARD
How’s the new routine coming?
OLIVE
It’s good.
RICHARD
When’re you gonna let us see it?
OLIVE
I dunno. It’s up to Grandpa.
GRANDPA
A couple of days. It needs a polish.
Olive sits. Grandpa walks to the table.
GRANDPA
What is this?! Chicken?! Every day it’s the chicken! Holy God almighty! Is it possible, just one time, we could have something for dinner except the goddamn fucking chicken?!
Sheryl ignores him. Richard tries to cut him off.
RICHARD
Dad — Dad — Dad — Dad!!!
GRANDPA
I’m just saying–!
RICHARD
If you want to cook or buy your own food, you’re more than welcome —
GRANDPA
Christ. Y’know, at Sunset Village —
RICHARD
If you liked Sunset Village so much maybe you shouldn’t have gotten yourself kicked out of there–!
GRANDPA
waves dismissively
Ahhhh–!
He takes out a piece of chicken and starts eating. A tense silence. Frank tries to get things going again.
FRANK
When did you start? With the vow?
Dwayne shrugs. He doesn’t care to comment,
RICHARD
It’s been nine months. He hasn’t said a word. I think it shows tremendous discipline.
SHERYL
Richard —
RICHARD
I’m serious! I think we could all learn something from what Dwayne’s doing! Dwayne has a goal. He has a dream. It may not be my dream, or your dream, but still — He’s pursuing that dream with focus and discipline. In fact, I was thinking about the Nine Steps —
GRANDPA•
Oh, for crying out loud –!
RICHARD
evenly
— About the Nine Steps, and how Dwayne’s utilizing at least seven of them in his journey to personal fulfillment.
SHERYL
Richard. Please.
RICHARD
I’m just saying! I’ve come around! I think Dwayne deserves our support.
Frank looks at Dwayne. Dwayne rolls his eyes. Olive addresses Frank.
OLIVE
How did it happen?
FRANK.
How did what happen?
OLIVE
Your accident —
SHERYL
Honey —
She shakes her head: “Don’t go there.”
FRANK
No, it’s okay. Unless you object —
SHERYL
No, I’m pro-honesty here. I just think, you know — It’s up to you.
FRANK
Be my guest —
SHERYL
Olive, Uncle Frank didn’t really have an accident. What happened was: he tried to kill himself.
OLIVE
You did? Why?
RICHARD
I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation.
to Olive
Let’s leave Uncle Frank alone.
A beat. Olive has stopped eating.
OLIVE
Why did you want to kill yourself?
RICHARD
Frank. Don’t answer that question.
Frank stares at Richard. He turns back to Olive.
FRANK
I tried to kill myself because I was very unhappy.
RICHARD
overlapping
Don’t listen, honey, he’s sick and he doesn’t know what he’s —
SHERYL
Richard — Richard — Richard —
RICHARD
What?! I don’t think it’s appropriate for a six year old!
SHERYL
She’s gonna find out anyway. Go on, Frank.
OLIVE
Why were you unhappy?
Frank glances at Richard, deadpan victorious and continues.
FRANK
Well, there were a lot of reasons. Mainly, though, I fell in love with someone who didn’t love me back.
OLIVE
Who?
FRANK
One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him.
OLIVE
Him? It was a boy? You fell in love with a boy?
FRANK
Yes. I did. Very much so.
This is new to Olive. She thinks it over.
OLIVE
That’s silly.
FRANK
You’re right. It was very, very silly.
GRANDPA
There’s another word for it —
RICHARD
Dad —
OLIVE
So — That’s when you tried to kill yourself– ?
FRANK
Well, no. What happened was: the boy I was in love with fell in love with another man, Larry Sugarman.
SHERYL
Who’s Larry Sugarman?
FRANK
Larry Sugarman is perhaps the second most highly regarded Proust scholar in the U.S.
RICHARD
Who’s number one?
FRANK
That would be me, Rich.
OLIVE
So — That’s when you tried,–?
FRANK
Well, no. What happened was: I was a bit upset. I did some things I shouldn’t have done. Subsequently, I was fired, forced to leave my apartment and move into a motel.
OLIVE
Oh. So that’s when–?
FRANK
hesitates
Well, no. Actually, all that was okay. What happened was: two days ago the MacArthur Foundation decided to award a “genius” grant to Larry Sugarman.
deep breath
And that’s when —
GRANDPA
— You tried to check out early.
FRANK
Yes. And I failed at that as well.
RICHARD
Olive, what’s important to understand is that Uncle Frank gave up on himself. He made a series of foolish choices, and then he gave up on himself, which is something that winners never do.
A beat. Frank looks like he could, leap across the table and strangle Richard. Sheryl intervenes.
SHERYL
So that’s the story, okay? Let’s move on. Olive, how’s your new routine coming?
OLIVE
Fine. I told you.
Over the above, Frank turns and asks, regarding Richard:
FRANK
Is he always like this?
Dwayne nods
How can you stand it?
Dwayne writes a note, shows it to Frank. It reads:
“I can’t.”
Frank nods. Richard addresses Olive.
RICHARD
Honey, tell Frank why you’re doing your dance routine.
FRANK
Olive. Why are you doing a dance routine?
OLIVE
For Little Miss Crab-Cakes.
FRANK
arch
A-ha! Just as I suspected–!
SHERYL
Honey, tell him what Little Miss Crab-Cakes is.
OLIVE
Little Miss Crab-Cakes is a beauty contest for everyone in Maryland. But you have to be six or seven years old and you have to be a girl.
Frank looks skeptically at Sheryl.
SHERYL
Don’t look at me! This is Jeff and the new step-Mom. It’s big down in Florida.
FRANK
to Olive
So what do you think your chances are?
Olive takes the question like a pro.
OLIVE
I think I can win. ‘Cause a lot of the new girls — they don’t have the experience.
FRANK
Well, good luck.
RICHARD
It’s not about luck. Luck is the name that losers give to their own failings. It’s about wanting to win. Willing yourself to win. You got to want it badder than anyone.
OLIVE
I do!
RICHARD
Do you? Really?
a beat; she nods
Then you’re gonna be a winner!
She smiles. Dwayne shakes his head and keeps eating.
SHERYL
Richard —
RICHARD
What?’ It’s true!
OLIVE
I was runner up in Florida!
FRANK
When were you in Florida?
SHERYL
Spring break. Jeff had custody for two weeks. Olive made it to the top of the Regionals down there.
OLIVE
I was second place.
RICHARD
Sher, у’know, there’s a message from Jeff on the machine.
SHERYL
Yeah. Did you hear what it was?
RICHARD
Actually, it was something about Little Miss Sunshine.
OLIVE
What? Little Miss Sunshine? What?!
She runs off. Sheryl follows Olive into the kitchen.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Sheryl and Olive approach the answering machine. The “message” light is blinking. Sheryl hits it.
JEFF (O.C.)
filtered
Sheryl, hey, it’s Jeff–!
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Richard, Frank, and Dwayne try to listen, eating silently.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Olive and Sheryl listen.
JEFF (O.C.)
filtered
— Something about diet pills, but anyway that means that Olive won the regionals, so now she has a place in the State contest in Boca —
BEEEP. Over the above, Olive reacts with involuntary spasms of shock, disbelief, and then pure, unadulterated euphoria.
She waits, trembling, to hear the whole message. When it ends, she puts her hands to her temples:
OLIVE
Aaahhhhhhh! ! ! Aaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! ! ! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!!
She goes running out into the dining room.
OLIVE (O.S.)
Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine! Little Miss Sunshine!!!
Sheryl closes her eyes.
SHERYL
Fuck–!
Sheryl picks up the cordless phone, dials.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Sheryl re-enters with the phone. Olive is rejoicing.
OLIVE
I won! I won! I get to go to the Championship! Oh, God! Oh, my God!
beat
I gotta pack! I gotta go pack!
She rushes off to the downstairs doorway and disappears.
RICHARD
Wait, Olive, finish your dinner!
OLIVE (O.S.)
I’m finished!
GRANDPA
What happened?
SHERYL
Apparently, the girl who won Regionals was disqualified. So Olive has her place in the Finals.
RICHARD
When are they?
SHERYL
I’m calling Jeff right — Jeff! Yeah, we just got it — Yeah, she basically went crazy. No, I didn’t get that, the machine cut you off.
She grabs Dwayne’s pen and pad. She scribbles.
SHERYL
Uh-huh. In Boca Raton. This Sunday?! Can you take her? You can’t put it off? No, it’s just — We have to figure this out. No, I’ll give this lady a call and we’ll figure it out. Right. Bye.
She hangs up.
RICHARD
It’s Sunday? Can Jeff and Cindy take her?
SHERYL
shakes her head
They’re going to Maui.
They all look at each other.
The Call: Olive has a chance to be in the finals of a beauty pageant—and this story is about family communicating/connecting/helping each other and what it means to be a winner or a loser.
-
Armand Loves This Opening!
Great opening accomplishes these things:
– Compels us to read the rest of the script.
– Entices the reader on the first page.
– Lets an audience know they’re in good hands.
– Declares the writer is a professional.
KING RICHARD
1st page: Richard’s intro
3rd page: Richard’s VO is actually a pitch
5th to 10th page: Even though all tennis coaches for pro athletes reject Richard’s pitch, he will train himself
By the 10th page: Richard trying to make Venus and Serena champions.
FADE IN:
EXT. BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA – 1989 (ESTABLISHING) Mansions. Palm trees. Bentleys. Benzes. The dream.EXT. PALOS VERDES COUNTRY CLUB – VARIOUS SHOTS – MORNING
A majestic, rolling golf course. Pristine tennis courts. Rich WHITE PEOPLE living the life.
INT. PALOS VERDES COUNTRY CLUB – MORNING
Inside, UNIFORMED STAFF vacuum opulent locker rooms and clean the framed photographs that line the club walls:
ANCIENT TENNIS GREATS. TILDEN. KRAMER. AUSTIN. SHRIVER. All legends. All white. All viewed by:
RICHARD WILLIAMS (47). A tall, powerfully-built black man with broken teeth, a graying beard, and a lifetime of rejection and resentment.
Richard stands in the pro shop in his TENNIS ATTIRE, when a TENNIS PRO arrives with a SHOPPING BAG.
TENNIS PRO
Grounds crew threw out most of ‘em. Got a few here but they look pretty dead.
RICHARD
They not dead to us.
Richard looks in the bag. It’s filled with RATTY OLD TENNIS BALLS. Richard takes it thankfully and without shame, heading out with his bounty as we hear —
RICHARD (V.O.)
Where I grew up, in Louisiana, Seedy Grove. Tennis was not a game peoples played. We was too busy running from the Klan. But here it is…
EXT. PALOS VERDES COUNTRY CLUB – VARIOUS SHOTS – MORNING
Richard’s garbled Louisiana drawl continues as he strolls the manicured grounds, collecting stray balls as he goes. He plucks them from trash as WHITE CLUB MEMBERS play.
RICHARD (V.O.)
…when I’m interested in a thing, I learn it. How it works. How the best people in the world do it. That’s what I did with tennis and the girls.
INT. RICHARD’S VW BUS – DAY
Richard’s now at the wheel listening to a homemade tape as he drives to another club through postcard L.A.
BUD COLLINS (V.O.)
If you look at the biggest servers. Sampras. Lendl. Connors. You’ll see the break of their wrists is like a smack. Like a high-five. That’s what you’re looking for when you hit it. That pop.
Richard practices as he drives in his van, which is a character itself.
Part mobile tennis clinic, part mobile home, it’s filled with schoolbooks, cassette tapes, audiobooks on parenting and self-help like RICH DAD, POOR DAD, along with a ridiculous accoutrement of tennis shit. Drill cones. Broken rackets. Milk crates filled with hundreds of collected USED BALLS. Like Richard, it’s charming and one-of-a-kind.
RICHARD (V.O.)
Now all we need is a club.
EXT. FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
We now understand we’ve been hearing a sales pitch, which Richard is giving to an UNINTERESTED PRO at another fancy club. He hands him a HOMEMADE BROCHURE.
RICHARD
For training. And Clinics. The whole deal. Everything the girls need to go from prodigy to pro.EXT. ANOTHER FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
Richard’s presentation continues to BUD COLLINS (60), the Bob Hope of tennis, listening graciously, poolside.
RICHARD
I wrote me a 78-page plan for their whole career before they was even born. Bud laughs, quite amused and —EXT. ANOTHER FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
Richard continues at another FANCY CLUB, following a very DISMISSIVE PRO.
RICHARD
It was 1977 and I had watched this tennis match, and I seen them give this girl – Virginia Ruzici — 40 thousand dollars for four days work, and since I knew I’d only made $52,000 all year, I knew I was in the wrong business. Went home that night, told the wife we need to make two more kids.OFF the DISMISSIVE PRO, just fucking flabbergasted and —
RICHARD (PRE-LAP)
So that night I wrote up the plan.
EXT. ANOTHER FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
Richard’s now cornered ANOTHER BAFFLED PRO at practice.
RICHARD
One for Venus. One for Serena. Covered their tennis. Educations. Foreign languages. Everything. And now that plan says it’s time for us to come see you so you can help turn them into champions.He hands the pro the brochure and —
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB – POOLSIDE – DAY
Bud flips through it too. A HOMEMADE PAMPHLET FULL OF NUMBERS, GRAPHS, and CHARTS. The girls’ “FUTURE EARNINGS.” Bud reads it in disbelief as —
RICHARD
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This family is from the ghetto. How they going to pay old me?EXT. ANOTHER FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
Richard’s on the court with the Baffled Pro.
RICHARD
Well, don’t you worry ‘bout that. We’re not here to rob you. We’re here to make you rich.EXT. FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
The Uninterested Pro hands the brochure back to Richard.
UNINTERESTED PRO
You ever think about basketball?
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB – POOLSIDE – DAY
— and Bud hands it back too.
BUD COLLINS
Best of luck to ya.
RICHARD
OK. You making a mistake but I’m gonna let you make it. Them pants look expensive.EXT. ANOTHER FANCY TENNIS CLUB – DAY
— and finally, the Baffled Pro returns Richard’s pamphlet as well with some last words of advice.
BAFFLED PRO
If I had a dollar for every crazy parent who told me their kids’ll be number one, I’d be a rich man.RICHARD
You look pretty rich to me.BAFFLED PRO
Well, there you go.
The Baffled Pro serves. His STUDENT returns it. Richard can’t help but pipe in.
RICHARD
You need to open up your stance a little more. Your stance too closed.Off Richard’s frustration, heading off the court back to–
EXT. COMPTON, CALIFORNIA – VARIOUS SHOTS – DAY
A different world. A diverse, working-class neighborhood made infamous by gangs, drug wars, and NWA.
Richard’s bus drives past the Compton Swap. D&K Donuts. Louis Burgers. Liquor stores on the corners. Cops on the streets. Lowriders booming the latest tracks of the day.
And right in the heart of it, we meet —
EXT. WILLIAMS’ HOME (COMPTON) – DAY
TWO young BLACK GIRLS (8 and 9) lugging PHONE BOOKS from their front lawn.
-
Pablo Loves This Opening Scene
What I learned: To be completely honest, I just really appreciate this opening scene. I just recently watched Galaxy Quest, and while it wasn’t a terrific movie, I thought it was really cute. And the opening scene does follow the formula that we are learning about in this course. However, the inciting incident does not occur until page 16 and and we don’t truly know what the story is about until three pages later. This is because there is a lot of dialogue between several main characters to help establish who they are. Forgivable. Anyway, still a good intro.
Movie: Galaxy Quest
—-(PROVOCATIVE OPENING)—–
1 EXT. OUTER SPACE
The vastness of space. Suddenly a hole in the sky opens with a
flash and a SPACESHIP rumbles into view. ON its hull the letters
NSEA PROTECTOR. Magnificent, though on closer inspection it
shudders ever so slightly, denoting pre-CGI model work on a
budget. We’re watching a TV show.
LAREDO (V.0.)
We’re exiting the time knot now sir!
2. INT. NSEA PROTECTOR COMMAND DECK – SPACE
5 Members of the crew of the NSEA PROTECTOR sit in the large
circa – 1979-“high-tech” cabin. All of them human except for DR.
LAZARUS, a purple reptilian-looking alien. LAREDO is 9. The
crewmates exchange relieved smiles.
FRED
We’re alive.
LAREDO
We made it Commander, we made it!
LAZARUS (THE ALIEN)
By Grabthar’s hammer, we live to tell the tale.
COMPUTER (0.S.)
Systems register functional.
GWEN
All systems are working, Commander. Commander?
They all turn to look at THE COMMANDER, who turns to reveal
himself dramatically. Good looking. His acting is classic
Charlton Heston take-no-prisoners style. He looks around the
command deck, worried, almost sniffing the air.
COMMANDER
I don’t like it. It was too easy… Look for ambient energy
fields.
LAREDO
All normal sir… The entire spectrum.
COMMANDER
Check again Laredo.
LAREDO
Yes sir, I- Wait. Oh no.
His radar lights up with dots. First a few, then HUNDREDS.
LAREDO
They’re everywhere. There are time knots opening everywhere.
LAZARUS
IMPACT NOW Commander
Suddenly an EXPLOSION rocks the ship.
GWEN
A trap.
LAZARUS.
We’re surrounded Commander. The entire 5k Ranking is out there.
COMMANDER
Our plasma armor?
LAREDO
Gone sir.
Another BLAST rocks the room.
COMPUTER (O.S.)
Structural damage at 68 percent.
GWEN
We’re getting major structural damage.
FRED
It’s a core meltdown sir. It can’t be stopped
The Commander turns to his advisor, Lazarus.
LAZARUS
Commander, surrender may be our only option.
COMMANDER
No, never give up… NEVER surrender.’
GWEN
The reactor has eaten through four levels… Six levels… The
ship is disintegrating
LAREDO
Your orders sir?… Sir, your orders?
The Commander walks into close up; Steely determination.
COMMANDER
Activate the Omega 13.
The crewmates exchange expectant and terrified glances. CLOSE UP
of a crewman’s hand as he operates a series controls which in
turn opens five layers of mechanical locks revealing a serious
looking lever. The Commander pulls that lever. A MACHINE Is
revealed, rising from the floor in the middle of the room. It
begins to GLOW. Cut to each actor in turn reacting dramatically.
Then suddenly.. THE PICTURE GOES WHITE, LEADER LEADER NUMBERS
APPEAR, with a STUDIO COPYRIGHT notice.
—–(TWIST)—–
CUT TO:
3 HUNDREDS OF FACES
ENTHRALLED LEGIONS of mostly spotty faced male adolescent FANS
staring into camera. For a moment all is silent. A few are
sobbing. Then a BURST OF THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE… We’re at a
SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION. The enthusiastic crowd of FANS
continue cheering as the master of ceremonies GUY takes the
stage.
GUY
Well, there you are! You are the first people to see the lost
GALAXY QUEST episode 52 two parter since it was originally aired
in ’82! As most of you know, no concluding episode was filmed
when the series was cancelled, so one episode was never included
in the syndication run. Let’s hear it for Travis Latke, who
actually rescued the footage from the studio garbage! Can you
believe that?
(Latke stands, fans cheer)
Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for… The intrepid
crew of the
NSEA PROTECTOR!
But a STAGEHAND in the wings signals for Guy to “stretch.”
GUY
But first… What is a “hero”? Let’s take a look at a few more
clips…
4 BACKSTAGE
Here we meet the REAL LIFE ACTORS all dressed as their TV alter
egos… GWEN DEMARCO, beautiful, in a sexy and improbable body
suit. ALEXANDER DANE, (DR. LAZARUS) wearing green alien
prosthetic makeup. FRED KWAN, calm, sitting on an
apple box reading the paper. TOMMY “LAREDO” WEBBER, the youngest
of the group.
TOMMY
Where the hell is he? An hour and a half late. An hour and a
half!
GWEN
(looks through curtain)
This is great! They’re going to start eating each other out
there.
ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN)
He’s a twit!
TOMMY
Oh, and did you hear he booked another fan appearance without us?
GWEN
You’re kidding. When for?
TOMMY
Tomorrow morning, before the store opening.
ALEXANDER (OFFSCREEN)
He’s a miserable twit!
GWEN
The guy is terminally selfish!
FRED
He ate my sandwich.
GWEN AND TOMMY
What?
FRED
A month ago, he ate my sandwich.
TOMMY
And he ate Fred’s SANDWICH!
Gwen turns to notice Alexander staring into a makeup mirror, eyes
roaming over his alien green makeup and scaly rubber features
with a mournful expression.
GWEN
Oh Alex, get away from that thing…
ALEXANDER
Dear God…. How did I come to this?
5/4/99 (GOLDENROD)
TOMMY
Not again…
ALEXANDER
I played Richard III…
FRED
“Five curtain calls…
ALEXANDER
…Five curtain calls! I was an ACTOR once, damn it. Now look at
me… LOOK AT ME.
TOMMY
Settle down, Alex…
-
I just love this opening scene from Absolute Power. Boy, talk about something that grabs your attention – from the producer to the audience.
FADE IN:
1 INT. WASHINGTON MUSEUM – DAY 1
The saddest eyes you ever saw.
We are looking at an El Greco drawing. It is a study for
one of his paintings.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL —
A bunch of art students are doing sketches of the eyes,
the elongated fingers, the slender hands El Greco drew so
brilliantly.
Most of the students are around 20. A couple of suburban
housewives are there too.
And one older man.
This is LUTHER WHITNEY. Mid 60s, very fit, neatly
dressed. At quick glance, he seems as if he might be a
successful company executive.
As we watch him draw we can tell he is capable of great
concentration. And patient. With eyes that miss
nothing: He has pilot’s eyes.
We’ll find out more about him as time goes on, but this
is all you really have to know: Luther Whitney is the
hero of this piece. As we watch him draw —
Luther’s sketchbook. He is finishing his work on the
eyes, and he’s caught the sadness: It’s good stuff.
Luther. It’s not good enough for him. He looks at his
work a moment, shakes his head.
GIRL STUDENT
Don’t give up.
LUTHER
I never do.
GIRL STUDENT
May I?
She’s indicated his sketchbook. He nods. She starts
thumbing through.
The sketchbook as the pages turn.
Detail work. Eyes and hands. The eyes are good. The
hands are better. Very skillful.
(CONTINUED)
)B( ABSOLUTE POWER – Rev. 5/16/96 2.
1 CONTINUED: 1
The GIRL hands it back. Impressed.
GIRL STUDENT
You work with your hands, don’t
you?
CLOSEUP – LUTHER *
An enigmatic smile. Now, from that —
2 EXT. RED’S BAR – DAY 2
A nice working class part of town. Nothing fancy here
but there’s a pleasant feel. The streets are clean, the
houses neat and well tended.
Luther, carrying his sketchbook, walks along. It’s
afternoon now. Up ahead is a local bar: RED’S.
3 INT. RED’S BAR – DAY 3
Luther walks in. Nothing fancy here. Strictly working
class. And relatively empty. An overweight bald man
Luther’s age works behind the bar. This is RED. They
are good enough friends not to ask each other questions.
LUTHER
(as they nod to
each other)
Redhead.
RED
Luther.
(as Luther hands
him a videotape)
Your life would be a whole lot
simpler if you could learn to
operate a V.C.R.
LUTHER
My only failing.
As he turns —
4 EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD – LUTHER’S HOUSE – DAY 4
A street of small row houses. Clean, well tended.
Luther walks toward one. Later in the afternoon. He
carries half a dozen small shopping bags, from the
market, the hardware store, the drug store, the cleaners.
3.
5 EXT. LUTHER’S HOUSE – DAY 5
A terra cotta planter to the right of the front door.
Luther shifts his packages, tilts the planter slightly,
bends down, pulls out a key, inserts it in the front
door.
6 INT. LUTHER’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY 6
as he enters. Neat, tidy. A Cuisinart, a cheese slicer,
lots of other nice equipment. As he begins putting food
away —
7 INT. LUTHER’S HOUSE – DINING AREA – NIGHT 7
Evening now. Table set for one. A single candle.
Beside the candle is Luther’s sketch pad. Now Luther
himself moves INTO VIEW, carrying a tray. He puts it
down.
A gorgeous omelet is on a fine china plate, parsley
sprinkled neatly on top. An elegant green salad is on
another plate, covered with thinly sliced parmesan
cheese. An expensive water pitcher, a lovely glass.
Clearly, a great deal of thought has gone into dinner.
Luther lights the single candle. We are now aware of a
photograph nearby. The picture is old. A pretty little
girl stands in the center, smiling. Her mother stands
alongside, smiling too. A man is with them, looking at
them happily. It’s Luther. When he was young.
Luther studies the photo a moment. Then he turns, looks
out the window.
8 POV SHOT – SLIVER OF MOON 8
is visible. Lovely. Peaceful.
9 LUTHER 9
Now Luther opens the sketch pad, quickly flips past the
hands and eyes and faces —
— we are looking at something totally different: a
mansion.
HOLD ON Luther’s drawing of the mansion.
KEEP HOLDING.
PULL BACK to reveal —
4.
10 EXT. SULLIVAN MANSION – NIGHT 10
In the moonlight — it looks exactly like his drawing.
But no drawing could convey the size of the place — we
are looking at ten thousand square feet. Wealth and
power.
We’re in rolling hill country. The mansion is dark.
Totally deserted. Silence.
Now a sound – TIRES ON GRAVEL. A car comes rolling INTO
VIEW. The motor of the car has been turned off. The
lights of the car have been turned off. The car slides
to a stop. Again, silence…
HOLD ON mansion, a couple of hundred yards away. There
is a small field between the car and the estate. Now —
11 EXT. SULLIVAN MANSION/INT. LUTHER’S CAR – NIGHT 11
A man holds binoculars, studying the place. He wears
dark clothes, tennis shoes. He puts down the binoculars,
begins to smear his face with black camouflage cream —
— it’s Luther, and he’s been a professional thief his
entire life. He’s a three-time loser, but his last
sentence was so long ago and his skills are now so vast,
so refined, that it is unlikely he will ever get caught
again.
12 EXT. SULLIVAN MANSION – GROUNDS – NIGHT 12
The grounds as Luther glides through it. He wears a
backpack.
The night is cool.
He stops. All that separates him from the mansion now is
a stretch of gorgeous lawn. Except for Luther, it isn’t
gorgeous — it’s no-man’s land.
One final check of his surroundings — then he sets off,
in graceful motion, long strides eating up the ground.
He makes no sound at all.
13 EXT. SULLIVAN MANSION – FRONT DOOR – NIGHT 13
Thick wood with reinforced steel.
Luther stops by the door, takes off his backpack, opens
it. He puts on plastic gloves that have a special layer
of padding at the fingertips and palms. Now he takes a
key, inserts it in the front door, turns it, and the
instant he pushes the door open — ZOOM TO:
5.
14 INT. SULLIVAN MANSION – FOYER – NIGHT 14
The infrared SECURITY DETECTOR — it immediately starts
to BEEP and you can see the seconds being counted down:
forty, thirty-nine, thirty —
CUT TO:
15 LUTHER 15
— in his hands now is an automatic screwdriver, no more
than six inches long —
— he sets to work on the security panel that is inside
in the foyer next to the front door.
The screwdriver undoes the first screw, the second —
CUT TO: -
BOB SMITH LOVES THIS OPENING
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT IS…?
AGAIN: FOLLOW THE MASTERS. STUDY THE MASTERPIECES.
Pages 3 – 5 of Casablanca’s opening.
JAN and ANNINA BRANDEL, a very young and attractive refugeecouple from Bulgaria, watch as the civilian passes. They’ve been thrust by circumstances from a simple country life into an unfamiliar and hectic world.
NOTE: This is an intro of a refugee couple who will factor later in the story. It also demonstrates the desperation of refugees and foreigners to get out of Casablanca.
A shot RINGS out, and the man falls to the ground. Above him, painted on the wall, is a large poster of Marshal Petain, which reads: “Je tiens mes promesses, meme celles des autres.”
The policeman frantically searches the body, but only finds Free French literature.
NOTE: This is the twist. There is not only desperate waiting but also crimes of desperation and the corruption and brutality of the police.
CUT TO:EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
We see an inscription carved in a marble block along the roofline of the building: “Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite”
We see the the facade, French in architecture, then the high-vaulted entrance which is inscribed “Palais de Justice”.
At the entrance the arrested suspects are led in by thepolice.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE – DAY
A middle-aged ENGLISH COUPLE sit at a table just off thesquare, and observe the commotion across the way in front ofthe Palais de Justice. The police van pulls up. The rear doors are opened and people stream out.
A EUROPEAN man, sitting at a table nearby, watches the English couple more closely than the scene on the street.
ENGLISHWOMAN
What on earth’s going on there?
ENGLISHMAN
I don’t know, my dear.
The European walks over to the couple.
EUROPEAN
Pardon, pardon, Monsieur, pardon
4.
Madame, have you not heard?
ENGLISHMAN
We hear very little, and we
understand even less.
EUROPEAN
Two German couriers were found murdered in the desert… the unoccupied desert. This is the customary roundup of refugees, liberals, and uh, of course, a beautiful young girl for Monsieur Renault, the Prefect of Police.
CUT TO:
EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
Suspects are herded out of the van, and into the Palais de Justice.
CUT TO:
EXT. SIDEWALK CAFE – DAY
EUROPEAN
Unfortunately, along with
these unhappy refugees the
scum of Europe has gravitated to Casablanca. Some of them have
been waiting years for a visa.
He puts his left arm compassionately around the Englishman,and reaches behind the man with his right hand.
EUROPEAN
I beg of you, Monsieur, watch
yourself. Be on guard. This place
is full of vultures, vultures everywhere, everywhere.
The Englishman seems to be taken a back by this sudden display of concern.
ENGLISHMAN
Ha, ha, thank you, thank you
very much.
EUROPEAN
Not at all. Au revoir, Monsieur. Au revoir, Madame.
He leaves. The Englishman, still a trifle disconcerted by
5.
the European’s action, watches him as he leaves.
ENGLISHMAN
Au revoir. Amusing little
fellow. Waiter!
As he pats both his breast and pants pockets he realizes there is something missing.
ENGLISHMAN
Oh. How silly of me.
ENGLISHWOMAN
What, dear?
ENGLISHMAN
I’ve left my wallet in the hotel.
ENGLISHWOMAN
Oh.
Suddenly the Englishman looks off in the direction of the departed European, the clouds of suspicion gathering.
NOTE: This humorous incident is also a TWIST or part of the overall twist that Casablanca is a dangerous place of corruption and crime.
Interrupting overhead is the DRONE of a low flying airplane.They look up.
CUT TO:
EXT. OVERHEAD SHOT – DAY
An airplane cuts its motor for landing.
CUT TO:
EXT. PALAIS DE JUSTICE – DAY
Refugees wait in line outside the Palais de Justice. Their upturned gaze follows the flight of the plane. In their faces is revealed one hope they all have in common, and the plane is the symbol of that hope.
Jan and Annina look up at the plane.
ANNINA
(wistfully)
Perhaps tomorrow we’ll be on that plane.
NOTE: The major twist that sets the scene: In this city of corruption, desperation, and crime, escape (symbolized by the plane).
Also, what makes the opening great: The audience is situated in the world of war and refugees as well as murder and intrigue. Right away, there is nothing dull about this opening. The background and context, the actions so far, set a scene of desperation and hope. Likewise, who murdered the couriers is a mystery soon to be solved but it also grabs me.
In the next few pages is the arrival of the menacing Major Strasser of the Third Reich who turns the focus and propels the story to Rick’s Café Americain and Rick himself.
As far as by page 10 is concerned: Although Ilse and Viktor Laszlo have not entered yet, the question is raised: How can one escape this trap of despair, who will finally own those letters of transit stolen by the murderers of the German couriers?
-
Janeen Loves this Opening!
What I learned from this assignment is that a RomCom meet cute must be set up ahead of time to show both protagonists’ worlds and their differences so that when we meet, attraction/dislike aside, there will be an obvious barrier to their happily ever after. It’s much more subtle, quiet, and less attention-seeking than the typical Action, Crime, or Adventure movie.
FIRST PAGES of NOTTING HILL
EXT. VARIOUS DAYS
‘She’ plays through the credits.
Exquisite footage of Anna Scott — the great movie star of our time — an ideal — the perfect star and woman — her life full of glamour and sophistication and mystery.
NOTE: Shows the idol, the movie star protagonist in all her untouchable glamour.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Mix through to William, 35, relaxed, pleasant, informal. We follow him as he walks down Portobello Road, carrying a load of bread. It is spring.
NOTE: The Portobello Road sequences shows us that William is at home in this unusual, chaotic place and is calm and comfortable in the chaos.
PROVOCAtiVE OPENING — The juxtaposition of William and Anna shows how far apart their worlds really are.
WILLIAM
Of course, I’ve seen her films and always thought she was, well, fabulous — but, you know, million miles from the world I live in. Which is here — Notting Hill — not a bad place to be…
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – DAY
It’s a full fruit market day.
WILLIAM
There’s the market on weekdays, selling every fruit and vegetable known to man…
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – DAY
A man in denims exits the tattoo studio.
WILLIAM
The tattoo parlour — with a guy outside who got drunk and now can’t remember why he chose ‘I Love Ken’…
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – DAY
WILLIAM
The racial hair-dressers where everyone comes out looking like the Cookie Monster, whether they like it or not…
Sure enough, a girl exits with a huge threaded blue bouffant.
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – SATURDAY
WILLIAM
Then suddenly it’s the weekend, and from break of day, hundreds of stalls appears out of nowhere, filling Portobello Road right up to Notting Hill Gate…
A frantic crowded Portobello market.
WILLIAM
… and thousands of people buy millions of antiques, some genuine…
The camera finally settles on a stall selling beautiful stained glass windows of various sizes, some featuring biblical scenes and saints.
WILLIAM
… and some not so genuine.
EXT. GOLBORNE ROAD – DAY
WILLIAM
And what’s great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London — that’s Tony, architect turned chef, who recently invested all the money he ever earned in a new restaurant…
NOTE: This mention of his friends being here lets us know his world is fairly small — Portobello road for the most part.
Shot of Tony proudly setting out a board outside his restaurant, the sign still being painted. He receives and approves a huge fresh salmon.
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – DAY
WILLIAM
So this is where I spend my days and years — in this small village in the middle of a city — in a house with a blue door that my wife and I bought together… before she left me for a man who looked like Harrison Ford, only even handsomer…
We arrive outside his blue-doored house just off Portobello.
WILLIAM
… and where I now lead a strange half-life with a lodger called…
TWIST: This is at the top of p. 3. We meet Spike, the unusual flatmate with no common sense.
INT. WILLIAM’S HOUSE – DAY
WILLIAM
Spike!
The house has far too many things in it. Definitely two-bachelor flat.
Spike appears. An unusual looking fellow. He has unusual hair, unusual facial hair and an unusual Welsh accent: very white, as though his flesh has never seen the sun. He wears only shorts.
SPIKE
Even he. Hey, you couldn’t help me with an incredibly important decision, could you?
WILLIAM
This is important in comparison to, let’s say, whether they should cancel third world debt?
SPIKE
That’s right — I’m at last going out on a date with the great Janine and I just want to be sure I’ve picked the right t-shirt.
WILLIAM
What are the choices?
SPIKE
Well… wait for it…
(He pulls on a t-shirt)
First there’s this one…
The t-shirt is white with a horrible looking plastic alien coming out of it, jaws open, blood everywhere. It says ‘I Love Blood.’
WILLIAM
Yes — might make it hard to strike a really romantic note.
SPIKE
Point taken.
He heads back up the stairs… talks as he changes…
SPIKE
I suspect you’ll prefer the next one.
And he re-enters in a white t-shirt, with a large arrow, pointing down to his flies, saying, ‘Get It Here.’
SPIKE
Cool, huh?
WILLIAM
Yes — she might think you don’t have true love on your mind.
SPIKE
Wouldn’t want that…
(and back up he goes)
Okay — just one more.
He comes down wearing it. Lots of hearts, saying, ‘You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.’
WILLIAM
Well, yes, that’s perfect. Well done.
SPIKE
Thanks. Great. Wish me luck.
WILLIAM
Good luck.
Spike turns and walks upstairs proudly. Revealing that on the back of the t-shirt, also printed in big letters, is written ‘Fancy a fuck?’
EXT. PORTOBELLO ROAD – DAY
WILLIAM
And so it was just another hopeless Wednesday, as I set off through the market to work, little suspecting that this was the day which would change my life forever. This is work, by the way, my little travel book shop…
A small unpretentious store… named ‘The Travel Book Co.’
WILLIAM
… which, well, sells travel books, and, to be frank with you, doesn’t always sell many of those.
William enters.
NOTE: On page 5 we enter the bookshop and the beginning of the Inciting Incident — William meets Anna.
INCITING INCIDENT: William meets Anna in his shop.
INT. THE BOOKSHOP – DAY
It is a small shop, slightly chaotic, bookshelves everywhere, with little secret bits round corners with even more books.
Martin, William’s sole employee, is waiting enthusiastically.
He is very keen, an uncrushable optimist. Perhaps without cause. A few seconds later, William stands gloomily behind the desk.
WILLIAM
Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push — minus 347 pounds.
MARTIN
Shall I go get a cappuccino? Ease the pain.
WILLIAM
Yes, better get me a half. All I can afford.
MARIN
I get your logic. Demi-capu coming up.
He salutes and bolts out the door — as he does, a woman walks in.
We only just glimpse her.
Cut to William working. He looks up casually. And sees something. His reaction is hard to read. After a pause…
WILLIAM
Can I help you?
It is Anna Scott, the biggest movie star in the world — here –in his shop. The most divine, subtle, beautiful woman on earth.
When she speaks she is very self-assured and self-contained.
ANNA
No, thanks. I’ll just look around.
WILLIAM
Fine.
She wanders over to a shelf as he watches her — and picks out a quite smart coffee table book.
WILLIAM
That book’s really not good — just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You’d be wasting your money.
NOTE: In pages 6-10, William banters nonsensically with Anna about how bad the book she’s looking at really is, then spots a shoplifter, accosts him successfully, returns to Anna who signs an autograph for the thief, buys a book, gets a free one William had talked up while paying for the one he talked down, but now says is quite good, and she leaves, presumably never to be seen again. Then William’s employee comes back with the coffee and William modestly doesn’t say Anna was there — it will be his little dream moment, not a rumor spread around Portobello Road by his employee. She’s out of his life.
BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVie iS ABOut. At the end of page 10, he decides to get an orange juice which in the next scene he spills on Anna and that’s how they “meet” again.
What I think about this opening:
It clearly establishes William’s character and position in his small world.
It clearly establishes Anna’s star power, but also her quiet, amused side who appreciates William’s sense of humor in his store — out of the limelight.
We know that William has a wildly inappropriate flatmate who is likely to cause trouble and humor.
We have the setup for them meeting again, soon after he thought he would never see her again. This pattern: “She enters his world, makes him love her, leaves again” is repeated many times in the movie so it sets the stage for the rest of the movie. -
Rob Bertrand Loves This Opening!
What I learned: I learned the basic structure for a powerful opening. 1st page Provactive opening. 3rd page twist. 5th to 10th page inciting incident and by the 10th page we know what the story is about.
EXT. HILL HOUSE, THEN – NIGHT
Dense, New England woods, lit only by the moonlight. The leafless
branches crossing our frame like skeletal hands.
STEVEN (V.O.)
No live organism can continue to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality, which is why all conscious things – man, child, and beast – must sleep. And dream.The camera moves beyond the trees and branches to REVEAL:
A sprawling family home in the woods, all by itself. Large, striking, and brimming with history.
Huge windows, brick and iron, with hints of the Gothic in its architecture. The longer one stares, the more off-kilter the house seems to be.
All around, the signs of a RENOVATION IN PROGRESS.
Scaffolding, tools, abandoned to the late hour. Someone is working hard on this house.
LEGEND: HILL HOUSE. THEN.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within. It had stood so for a hundred years before my family moved in, and it might stand for a hundred more.NOTE: The opening narration hints at something sinister.
INT. HILL HOUSE, THEN – CONTINUOUS
We float through the halls. Past the grand staircase. Past the large, ornate windows. The architecture is old, but the dressing is clearly 1990’s.
Small HOME IMPROVEMENT projects throughout the house. Fresh paint on some elements, absent from others.
STEVEN (V.O.)
Within, walls stood upright, bricks met neatly, floors were firm. Silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House…We linger on details: CHILDREN’S TOYS, abandoned to the late <font face=”inherit”>hour. Patched </font>drywall<font face=”inherit”>, corners of the bannister in the midst </font>of renovation.
FAMILY PHOTOS of the CRANES: HUGH (late 30’s), his wife MARY (late 30’s), and the children: STEVEN (11), SHIRLEY (9), THEODORA (7) and the twins, LUKE and NELL (5).
NOTE: We meet our main characters through photos and realize they are renovating the house.
STEVEN (V.O.)
… And whatever walked there, walked alone.CUT TO:
INT. STEVEN’S ROOM, HILL HOUSE, THEN – CONTINUOUS
A boy’s room, with all the expected flourishes of the nineties: a TV, video games. We float toward the boy, asleep in his bed, moonlight on his face. He is YOUNG STEVEN (11).
We come to rest on Steven’s face, as he’s stirred from sleep by a sound…
The sound of a CHILD CRYING. He blinks, sitting up.
CUT TO:
INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY, HILL HOUSE, THEN – CONTINUOUS
He steps into the hallway, looking smaller against the sheer size of the home. High ceilings, archways.
The crying is LOUDER now.
He sees his sister YOUNG THEO (7) standing by her door, rubbing her eyes. The crying woke her too.
YOUNG STEVEN
It’s okay Theo, go back to bed.YOUNG THEO
Should we wake mom and dad?YOUNG STEVEN
I’ve got it.He moves past her, toward the last door in the hall. He pushes it open.
CUT TO:
2.
INT. NELL’S ROOM, HILL HOUSE, THEN – CONTINUOUS
He moves into the room. In the soft glow of the night light, he sees YOUNG NELL (5) perched at the foot of her bed. Crying her little tears, clearly afraid.
YOUNG STEVEN
You okay Nellie?She shakes her head “no.”
YOUNG STEVEN (CONT’D)
You scared?She shakes her head “yes.”
YOUNG STEVEN (CONT’D)
That’s okay, I get scared too sometimes.He steps into the room, and looks over to the bed on the other side, where Nell’s twin brother YOUNG LUKE (5) sleeps soundly, despite his sister’s cries.
YOUNG STEVEN (CONT’D)
Luke sleeps through anything, huh? What was it?YOUNG NELL
(beat)
The bent-neck lady.YOUNG HUGH (O.S.)
Oh, her again.NOTE: The Bent Neck Lady sounds horrifying. Playing on childhood fears of the boogeyman in the closet.
They turn. Standing in the doorway is YOUNG HUGH CRANE. In his pajamas, eyes tired – but still managing a gentle smile.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Where was she?Nell POINTS to the foot of the bed, almost where her brother is standing. Hugh smiles, stepping into the room.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Oh boy, let’s take a look.He moves to the spot.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Here, huh?She nods.
3.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Your big brother must have scared her away. Big brothers are good like that.YOUNG NELL
What if she’s hiding?YOUNG HUGH
Well let’s make sure she isn’t. Where could she go?Nell’s eyes go to the foot of the bed. Hugh follows her gaze, and crouches to look underneath the bed.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Anyone under here? You better come out, or you’re in trouble.
(beat)
Hmmm. Not there…He looks up at Nell, who points toward the closet.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
Ah.Steven steps aside, watching as his dad goes through the motions for Nell. He smiles, watching close. Learning how.
Hugh opens the closet door, moving the clothes to the side.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
You better come out, bent-neck lady. Stop scaring Nellie.
(beat)
Nope, she’s long gone.Nell relaxes a little.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
And now, everybody can go back to bed.NOTE: We love this family. Hugh is gentle and caring. Instantly puts us at ease.
Steven heads for the door, turning to watch his father tuck Nell back into bed.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
There we go. Do you remember what we talked about before? About our dreams?YOUNG NELL
They can spill.4.
YOUNG HUGH
That’s right. Just like a cup of water spills sometimes. And a kid’s dreams are special, they’re like –At the door, Steven smiles. He remembers this part…
YOUNG STEVEN
(very softly)
An ocean.YOUNG NELL
An ocean.YOUNG HUGH
That’s right. Sometimes the big dreams can spill out.
(turns)
Back to bed, Stevie.Steve smiles, and walks away. Hugh turns back to Nell.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
I know the bent-neck lady is scary, but that’s all she is. Just a little spill. You know that, right Nellie?She stares at him.
YOUNG NELL
How long do we have to live here, daddy?YOUNG HUGH
Well, I’ve got to finish fixing the house. And then, somebody has to buy it.YOUNG NELL
And then we can go?YOUNG HUGH
(smiles, feels bad)
Yep, then we can go. Just like the last house.She nods. A little relieved.
YOUNG HUGH (CONT’D)
I love you sweetie. Sweet dreams.NOTE: Immediately following this scene, Young Nell has an encounter with the Bent Neck Lady. It sets up the fact that the family is living in a haunted house.
CUT TO:
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Emmanuel Loves This Opening!
What I learned from this assignment is opening scenes are one of the most exciting elements in a movie because it usually sets the tone. We get to quickly sense the overall style the movie will explore going forward.
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