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Day 1 Assignments
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Matthew Frendo’s Anticipation Scene
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned that, if done right, anticipation and excitement can be intensified to a bigger and bigger degree, before coming to a satisfying conclusion (of the sequence). I learned that small movements and looks can add a lot of intrigue and anticipation.
I also learned:
-adding in a moral dilemma into a scene (not the whole script, but a single scene) can elevate the character and add in a new level of anticipation and uncertainty
-having a strong conclusion to the scene, that takes the character to the edge of danger, makes the scene more satisfying to the audience
-having another character oppose the protagonist’s morals and actions helps make the scene more personal for the audience and gives us a deeper dive into the character
-having a scene where every character and every moment is full of uncertainty makes for an exciting read
From THE FUGITIVE
Background: Dr. Richard Kimble was just wrongly convicted of killing his wife. He’s on the bus heading to the jail where he will spend many, many years, when the following occurs…
EXT. COOK COUNTY JAIL – NIGHT
Main gates open. The BUS GRINDS onto the streets.
INT. BUS – DAY
The four prisoners sit scattered, still cuffed but no longer chained together. Near the front, PRISONER #1 is eyeing…
The two prison guards seated beyond the caged door. YOUNG GUARD lighting a smoke. OLD GUARD drowsing. Shotguns bouncing on their knees. Prisoner #1 shifts his gaze to… The driver. Pistol on his hip.NOTE: RIGHT HERE, I’M WONDERING WHY THIS PRISONER IS EYEING THE GUARDS. WHAT IS HE PLANNING?
DISSOLVE TO: EXT. DESOLATE HIGHWAY – NIGHT
The BUS RUMBLES north, heading towards the horizon.INT. BUS – NIGHT
Prisoner #1 rises. Through caging:
PRISONER #1: Hey. Illinois penal regulations require a meal for transport rides of four hours or more.
Young Guard shakes his head. “Fucking jailhouse lawyers.” Checks his watch: 4:00.
YOUNG GUARD: Jack! Feedin’ time.
Old Guard yawns to his feet, unhooks a key-ring from his belt. Young Guard stows his shotgun in the weapons locker.NOTE: NOW, IT INTENSIFIES. WHAT IS THE PRISONER PLANNING NOW?
Prisoner #2 looks at Kimble. Kimble stirs awake… watches the cage door open, Young Guard moving back. And across the aisle…
Prisoner #3, a big man named COPELAND, wags his head between his knees. Something slides out of his shirt and CLANKS to the dimpled steel floor. It’s a razor sharp plastic shank.NOTE: MORE THAN ONE INMATE IS IN ON IT? WHAT WILL THEY DO?
Heart quickening, Kimble looks forward. Young Guard is handing a petrified sandwich to Prisoner #1. Kimble snaps a look back to Copeland, who palms the shank.NOTE: HOW WILL THIS AFFECT KIMBLE? WILL HE GET HURT OR KILLED? AND HOW WILL HE RESPOND TO IT HAPPENING?
COPELAND: Breathe, and you’re first.
Old Guard watches from the open cage door, shotgun carelessly ready. Young Guard reaches Kimble and extends a sandwich. Kimble doesn’t respond.
YOUNG GUARD: Suit yourself.
He offers the sandwich to Copeland. In the exchange, sandwich drops. Copeland leans down for it.
Up front, Old Guard yawns again just as…
KIMBLE: Look out!
Too late… Jackknifing up, Copeland drives the shank into Young Guard’s gut.NOTE: WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO KIMBLE? WILL THE PRISONERS GET REVENGE FOR TRYING TO FOIL THEIR PLAN?
Prisoner #2 dives for Young Guard’s holster. As the gun comes out, Young Guard gets a hand on it. A SHOT FIRES…
Jolting Old Guard. He chambers his shotgun. Kimble hits the floor. The Old Guard jams a key into the cage door and surges inside, but…
Prisoner #1 broadsides Old Guard. SHOTGUN DISCHARGES… Opening a big Gainsburger hole in the driver. He sinks under the steering wheel. A knee hits the accelerator.
The CAGE DOOR SLAMS locked behind the Old Guard.EXT. DESOLATE HIGHWAY – NIGHT
As the bus careens off the road, accelerating.NOTE: IT INTENSIFIES AGAIN. WILL KIMBLE MAKE IT THROUGH THIS? WHAT HAPPENS TO THE GUARDS AND PRISONERS NOW?
INT. BUS – NIGHT
Young Guard wrestles gun from Prisoner #2 and FIRES, killing prisoner #2. Copeland grapples with wounded Young Guard. Old Guard shotgun-butts Prisoner #1, flips the gun, PUMPS ONE ROUND into the mants chest. Dead. He turns just as…EXT. OPEN LAND – NIGHT
As the driverless BUS BUCKS ant BANGS over open ground.INT. BUS – NIGHT
Old Guard reloads. Copeland drops down behind a seat. Old Guard jams his SHOTGUN under the seat. But just as the Old Guard pulls the trigger the bus jerks. The SHOT
goes off target asEXT. OPEN LAND – NIGHT
The BUS ROARS into a gravel embankment. ROARS up the slope and CRASHES down on its side — sliding to a stop at the bottom of a small ravine.NOTE: WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW THAT THEY STOPPED AGAIN?
INT. BUS – NIGHT
ENGINE DIES. Dusty silence. We don’t know up from down.
On his knees, Old Guard makes his way to the driver. Finds him dead. Now a SOUND. Old Guard whips his shotgun around at… Kimble. Rising between the seats. A hairy beat. Old Guard might kill him just to finish things off. But a GROAN turns Old Guard’s head. Young Guard, trying to hold his guts in. Old Guart turns to find Kimble.
OLD GUARD: (to Kimble) You. You’re a doctor. C’mere.
He slides to the Young Guard as the Old Guard scrounges up a medical kit, shoves Kimble down on Young Guard.
OLD GUARD: Do somethingNOTE: WILL HE KILL KIMBLE? WILL KIMBLE BE ABLE TO SAVE THE YOUNG GUARD?
Kimble looks at his cuffs. “In these?” Old Guard digs out his key ring and unlocks Kimble’s hands — only his hands. Kimble opens medical kit. It’s been ransacked – just Band-Aids now. Kimble looks into the wound.NOTE: CAN KIMBLE SAVE HIM WITH MEAGER SUPPLIES? WILLUNLOCKING HIS HANDS LEAD TO ANYTHING MORE?
KIMBLE: He isn’t going to make it unless he gets to a hospital. Fast.
OLD GUARD: In this delicate moment
A SHIVER runs through the bus. Is it just settling? With other things to worry about, Kimble tries to stop Young Guard’s bleeding.NOTE: WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THE BUS?
ANGLE UNDER SEAT We see Copeland, alive. The crash has ripped the bars
from a back window and shattered the glass. He works to get out the opening.
BACK TO KIMBLE A second SHIVER ripples through the bus, stronger. Kimble retracts his hands to touch a metal panel — and feels a growing vibration.
KIMBLE: Just where the hell are we?
The Old Guard feels it too. He gets down on his knees and looks out one of the shattered, barred windows.
OLD GUARD: Oh, shit…EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS – NIGHT
The bus lies across railroad tracks. A not-too-distant bend grows bright by the light of an approaching train.NOTE: WILL THEY SURVIVE ON THIS? OR WILL A RAILROAD HURT OR KILL THEM?
INT. BUS – NIGHT
Kimble sees: Old Guard fights the cage door. Kimble lunges to his side.
KIMBLE: It’s locked. Where’re your keys?EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS – NIGHT
Downtrack, one Cyclops light appears.NOTE: CAN THEY MAKE IT OUT IN TIME?
INT. BUS – NIGHT
Kimble spots keys. Pitches them to Old Guard. Drags Young Guard to the front for a quick exit. But Old Guard fumbles the key-ring, his hands shaking as much as the bus.
The train light spider-webs across cracked windows. Kimble snatches the keys away from the Guard’s trembling hands.
KIMBLE: Which one? This? This one?!
Old Guard gulps a nod. Kimble jams a key in the lock. Throws the door open. Grabs Young Guard.
KIMBLE: Help me get him –
But Old Guard climbs right over Kimble’s back and climbs out the shattered windshield.NOTE: WILL KIMBLE SAVE THE OTHER GUARD? WILL HE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?
ANGLE ON REAR OF BUS
Copeland escapes through the hole in the back…EXT. BUS – NIGHT
… and hits the ground running the other way. The locomotive’s headlight reveals the toppled bus.INT. BUS – NIGHT
Train light grows. A nanosecond of uncertainty: Should Kimble leave the wounded man? Kimble and the Young Guard hold a look.NOTE: DILEMMA: WHAT WILL KIMBLE DO? SAVE A GUARD AND TAKE A RISK ON DEATH OR LEAVE HIM TO DIE?
EXT. FREIGHT TRAIN – NIGHT
As the WHEELS BRAKE and LOCR.EXT. RAILROAD TRACKS – NIGHT
Kimble struggles out of the bus — pulling the Young Guard behind him. He slings the man clear.
SCREECHING death, the TRAIN SKIDS closer.
For one heartbeat, Kimble remains perched atop the bus.
The train light X-rays him.
Kimble leaps. Lands. Rolls. Gains his feet. Tries to sprint away but can’t: His feet are still chained. He gets off a dozen mincing steps beforeNOTE: WILL HE MAKE IT?
IMPACT: A hundred tons of STEEL SLAMS into the bus, splitting it open.
Shrapnel rips through Kimble’s thigh, but he stays on his feet, still running feverish half-steps.
An EXPLOSION envelops the train. Flames stream down its flanks. The train burns past the wounded Guard.
Kimble looks back, expecting to see the catastrophe behind him. But he gets the shock of his life — of any man’s life:
Still on its wheels, the locomotive is derailing — and coming after him. It’s the stuff of nightmares: One little man being chased by a fire-breathing locomotive.NOTE: IT INTENSIFIES, WILL HE MAKE IT?
The train burrows to a stop.
Kimble is suddenly five feet taller, standing on an upheaval of earth, staring eyeball-to-eyeball with the train that nearly devoured him. He pants. Coughs on smoke. Then notices something in his hand. It’s the key-ring.NOTE: DAMN, THAT WAS CLOSE. WHAT WILL HE DO NOW? ALSO, MOMENT OF REST AFTER HEAVY ACTION.
EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
Kimble sits and searches the key-ring for manacle key. Suddenly a hand reaches down and snatches the key-ring away.
COPELAND (O.S.): Give me that.
Kimble watches as Copeland quickly unlocks both sets of his own chains.
COPELAND: You listen to me. I don’t give a damn which way you go, just don’t follow me.
Kimble takes the key as Copeland wraps his chains around his arm and runs. Kimble unlocks his leg irons and runs in the other direction — crossing a hilltop in the moonlight.NOTE: WHAT WILL COPELAND DO FREE? WHERE WILL KIMBLE GO?
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DAY 1 Causing Anticipation – Making Your Script a “Page Turner”
Lisa’s Anticipation Scene
What I Learned is that this scene is tight. There are only actions and words that move the scene along and build the tension. Nothing extraneous to draw away from the main event.
Movie: “The Family Man” written by David Diamond and David Weissman
Up to this point:
Jack has been introduced as a Manhattan business power player. A bachelor and a “player”, he lives in a very expensive modern apartment with a huge closet to store his $2,000 suits. Up to this point, Jack has proven he’s a savvy, witty hard-nosed wheeler, and dealer. In a prior scene he tells his secretary that he was once in love with Kate, but she moved overseas and that was it.
Scene 20:
INT. WONG BROTHERS’ DELI – SECONDS LATER
Jack walks into the brightly lit deli…
SAM WONG, 20s, is with his 80-year-old GRANDFATHER
behind the counter. There’s a NERDY COLLEGE KID at the
salad bar, a drunken DEPARTMENT STORE SANTA at the
liquor display, a WOMAN with a BABY in an aisle and…
…a BLACK MAN, 30s, with a dollar sign and the name
“CASH” tattooed on his arm, stands in front of the
coffee machine…
CASH
Oh yeah…yeah, yee-ah! She’s
a certified winner…paper-
thin but good as gold…
Jack notices Cash talking to himself, seemingly crazy.
NOTE: What’s this coffee guy up to?
Jack approaches Sam Wong at the counter.
JACK
Egg nog?
SAM WONG
(pointing)
Dairy case. Five dollar.
CASH
(in the b.g., to
Sam Wong)
Y’all do the lotto here…?
`Cause I got me a winner…I
know, I know, Lotto keeps the
black man down… but not
me…
Jack grabs a carton of egg nog, then notices Cash
handing Sam Wong his ticket. Jack heads back toward
the counter…
CASH (CONT’D)
…06…14…18…48…right
there. Four numbers…that’s
two hundred and thirty eight
dollar…
(a smile)
Merry Christmas and shit…
SAM WONG
(barely looking
at ticket)
Ticket bad. You draw in lines
with pencil.
CASH
What’re you talkin’ about?
SAM WONG
(throwing the ticket
back)
You draw lines with pencil! I
know about this!
NOTE: Uh oh, what’s this guy going to do if the merchant won’t take it?
The woman with the baby looks over…the college kid
looks up, nervous…the drunken Santa, bottle of
bourbon in hand, starts to walk by Jack…Jack
instinctively puts an arm out, holding the Santa
back…
NOTE: Jack knows that something is up.
CASH
What!? Look at the ticket…!
SAM WONG
Get out, I call 911.
The Santa looks at Jack, confused.
CASH
You’re lookin’ at me, you’re
not even lookin’ at the
ticket!
NOTE: Everyone in the store is now quietly on alert!
The woman with the baby puts a loaf of bread back on
the shelf, starts nervously inching toward the door.
SAM WONG
You leave now. Take ticket
somewhere else.
(calling out)
Next customer in line…!
NOTE: Sam has just dismissed Cash; how will he react?
CASH
You first generation,
xenophobic, money-theistic,
hot pastrami sandwich
making…
SAM WONG
(screaming)
Get out!
Just watching…Cash shoves the ticket in Sam Wong’s
face…
CASH
LOOK AT THE GODDAMN TICKET!!
NOTE: Will Jack or someone else intervene? Or will they run?
A moment of decision for Jack. Then…
JACK
(carefully)
Let me see that ticket.
Cash turns to Jack.
CASH
(menacing)
Was I talkin’ to you?!
NOTE: Oh no! Now Jack is going to get Cash’s wrath.
Jack looks at the woman, the college kid, the Santa,
then…
JACK
Maybe I’ll buy it from you.
NOTE: Jack is calm on the outside, but we can see he’s worried on the inside. How will Cash react to his interference?
Now Cash walks over to Jack…
CASH
Guy in $2,000 suit gets ass
kicked tryin’ to be a hero.
Film at eleven…
(then…turning to
the coffee machine)
What?! Oh no, not another
lookie-loo. You know how big
a job this is?
The patrons exchange nervous glances…Jack watches,
confused.
CASH (CONT’D)
You’re double bookin’ me!
You’re gonna get double
billed! Shit!
Cash throws a bottle of Perrier against the wall, it
SHATTERS. The woman reels back in terror with the
baby…
NOTE: Violence is happening!
JACK
Hey, c’mon…
In a flash, Cash whips a .38 from the back of his
pants, aiming it at Jack’s face. The woman SCREAMS,
covers her baby.
CASH
(in Jack’s face)
Do you want to die?
Jack stares at Cash, trying his best to keep his
cool…
CASH (CONT’D)
DO YOU WANNA DIE?!
JACK
No.
CASH
(a smile)
Yes you do…
JACK
Look, I’m talking about a
business deal here. I buy the
ticket for two hundred, take
it to a store where the guy
behind the counter…
(glaring at Sam Wong)
…doesn’t have a death wish
(back to Cash)
…I just made myself a quick
thirty eight dollars.
NOTE: Will Cash take Jack’s deal or shoot him?
Cash gets closer…
JACK (CONT’D)
Like I said, it’s a business
deal…
CASH
Damn, you are the real
thing…
Cash narrows his eyes…then, a smile as he puts the
gun back into his pants…
CASH (CONT’D)
C’mon, Jack, let’s get outta
here…
(to Sam Wong)
You were lookin’ at me, papa,
you shoulda been lookin’ at
the ticket. That ticket was
legit, B. You’re fake…
Cash starts out of the deli. Jack follows…
NOTE: Whew! But what will happen outside? And how did he know his name was Jack?
21 EXT. MANHATTAN STREET – MINUTES LATER
Jack and Cash walking down the street…Jack, holding
his carton of egg nog under his arm, counting out two
hundred dollars…
JACK
How’d you know my name was
Jack?
CASH
I call all you white guys
“Jack.”
NOTE: Does Cash call all white guys Jack?
Jack nods…
CASH (CONT’D)
You know you seem pretty
relaxed for a guy who just had
a gun pulled on him.
JACK
There’s no way I was gonna die
in that deli…
(off Cash’s look)
Let’s just say I’ve been on a
lucky streak lately.
CASH
(a big LAUGH)
A lucky streak, huh?
Jack hands him the money.
CASH (CONT’D)
Sound pretty sure of yourself,
don’t you?
Jack nods.
CASH (CONT’D)
So you’re telling me, you’ve
got a gun to your head and you
don’t think for one second,
what if this, what if that,
maybe I shouldn’t do this, I
shoulda done that.
JACK
I don’t do that. That’s just
not for me…
NOTE: Who is this Jack down deep that he has so much confidence even with a gun in his face? An interesting character.
CASH
Cash looks at him, then smiles.
Okay, Jack. Nice doing
business with you…
Cash is about to take off…
JACK
Hey…
Cash turns around.
JACK (CONT’D)
What do you want to carry that
gun around for, anyway?
You’re just gonna do something
you’ll regret…
CASH
You want to talk about
regrets, you’re talking to the
wrong person.
NOTE: Is Jack going to counsel Cash? The nerve of this rich, white guy.
Jack casually takes the egg nog out of the bag, opens
the carton…
JACK
I’m just saying that you seem
like a smart guy. At a
certain point you’re gonna do
something, and then there’s no
turning back…
CASH
Yeah, in most cases that’d be
true.
Jack takes a sip of the egg nog.
JACK
I mean there must be programs
out there, opportunities…
CASH
(a deep laugh)
Wait a minute, wait a
minute… you’re tryin’ to
save me?
A look from Jack…
CASH (CONT’D)
Oh man, you’re serious…
(out to the street)
This man thinks I need to be
saved!
JACK
Everyone needs something.
NOTE: Is Jack going to offer Cash something else?
Cash looks at Jack…
CASH
Yeah? What do you need?
JACK
Me?
CASH
You just said everyone needs
something.
JACK
I’ve got everything I need.
NOTE: We know Jack actually DOES have everything…or does he?
CASH
Wow. It must be great being
you. You got it all.
Cash looks at Jack. He smiles and shakes his head.
JACK
Look, I’m not saying you’d be
able to do it without some
hard work…
CASH
(a hearty LAUGH)
You still think this is about
me, don’t you?
JACK
Sure it’s about you. But it’s
about society, too.
CASH
Oh man, I’m gonna enjoy this
one… Just remember, Jack,
you did this. You brought
this on yourself…
And with that, Cash turns and leaves Jack alone on the
street with his egg nog…
NOTE: What? He’s going to enjoy this one. “You brought this on yourself”. Have we seen the last of Cash?
22 INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – LATE NIGHT
Jack walks in and throws his keys on a table. He takes
off his gloves and overcoat, glances at the mail, then
heads into the bedroom.
Through the large windows we see snow falling…
23 INT. JACK’S BEDROOM – LATE NIGHT
Jack, flat on his back in bed, fast asleep…
NOTE: What is going to happen to Jack next?
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June Fortunato’s Anticipation Scene Day 1 writing with boldness
“What I learned doing this assignment is…I read several scripts to find something that’s racheted up enough for the assignment. While I love Trumbo and wanted to make that one work- the pace is different. This assignment calls for thriller/action movies to fit the bill. The film is Argo. Based on a true story of the Iranian Hostage Crisis: 1979-80. This is the climax
of the film.
Synopsis of Argo to the climax scene
Getting diplomats out of the Iran is a heartbeat away from execution. Everyone is out for the blood of an American. Iranians storm the USA embassy- the diplomats shred as much info as possible and escape to the Canadian embassy. Nonetheless, after the USA embassy is taken over, Iranian children paste together the shredded US documents- some of which contain the photos and ID info of the diplomats who fled. Intercut throughout trying to get the hostages out, the film shows the images slowly pasted together.
In the USA, A fake film production company is set up to rescue USA diplomats in Iran. The plan to rescue the diplomats is to have them pose as filmmakers, who’re on a location scout for a science fiction movie. Each of the diplomats memorizes a different role to become one of the crew: writer, director, cinematographer, etc. In the USA, a script is written, script in hand reading given – including costumes, big publicity spread in a magazine -storyboards- and it’s all top secret – all done to help convince the Iranians of the authenticity of the project. The six go to the market bazaar to pretend to scout the location- and are photographed by the Iranians- all part of the USA plan to make this look legitimate.
The fixer and inventor of the project, played by Ben Affleck, has a rough time convincing the diplomats to do it. The pressure is cranked to an extreme by this point- and the diplomats finally agree to go to the airport.
They must pass through two checkpoints at the airport to be allowed onto the plane. Meanwhile, in the USA, and unknown to the diplomats – the USA decided to instead, do a raid, so they’ve called off the mission and cancelled the diplomats’ plane tickets. The film production office is shut- and they go out to dinner.
In this scene, the Iranian officials try to verify the office and the phone rings without answer. This sequence is with the diplomats at the airport as the plane waits on the tarmac:
INT. WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF OFFICE – NIGHT (PRESENT)
Jordan is in a meeting with two staffers, his feet up on the desk. His secretary opens the door without knocking, hurries to Jordan, whispers something in his ear. He immediately grabs the phone.
JORDAN Hello?
O’DONNELL (V.O.) Jack O’Donnell from C.I.
JORDAN Wait — WHO — ?
O’DONNELL (V.O.) Tehran Houseguest operation is ready NOW. We don’t have the President’s go-ahead. They are going to be captured.
Jordan stands up with the phone.
JORDAN (yelling out his door) DAVID! Pick up!
INT. KOMITEH HQ – MORNING The office we visited earlier. A YOUNG KOMITEH comes up the stairs again. This time, he’s RUNNING.
NOTE: The Iranians have pictures of one of the diplomats- and there’s a match with a picture taken at the location scout in the bazaar. Will they get through the checkpoints in time?
KHALKALI, the fiery guy who came to the residence, along with two YOUNG KOMITEH compare (one who delivered the pictures): on one side, copies of re-assembled diplomatic photographs of Americans from the embassy — like the ones of the Houseguests we saw early in the film — and, on the other side, the candid photographs from the bazaar.
NOTE: the diplomats do not know that their tickets were cancelled and are walking into a trap.
INT. CIA – THE PIT – NIGHT
LAMONT Telex on Flash. The telex begins to print, line by line… EYES ONLY — OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES — HOLLYWOOD OPTION APPROVED — GOOD LUCK. (*Carter White House telex, 1/29/1980.) O’DONNELL Copy D.S.! Confirm the tickets! GO!
NOTE: At the last second, their tickets are reinstated. Will they be confirmed at the airport?
INT. SWISSAIR COUNTER (MEHRABAD) – MORNING Mendez’s and the Houseguests’ passports sit on the counter.
SWISSAIR REP I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have those reservations…
NOTE: this could be the death knell for the diplomats.
(a line in the film was added: Can you please check again?)
SWISSAIR REP looks at some green text on her screen, hits another button.
SWISSAIR REP My apologies. They just came through. She hits another button and tickets start to print.
INT. CIA – THE PIT – NIGHT
MALINOV (to O’Donnell) Swissair says they’ve picked up the tickets.
O’DONNELL Get the L.A. office — tell them to be ready in case they call. We told them to shut that down!
NOTE: We know the men were told to shut down, and went to dinner- so they’re not there for a phone call.
He RUNS toward a phone —
MEHRABAD AIRPORT – FIRST CHECKPOINT – MORNING The PASSPORT OFFICIAL is looking at the Canadian passports of the six and waving them through. Mendez has already passed. Everyone except Kathy Stafford. The Passport Official looks at Kathy, who is doing her best to look friendly and casual. Then he looks at Kathy’s passport, in which she looks stern and angry. Kathy Stafford smooths down her hair, frowns like she * does in the passport photo. The Passport Official half smiles and waves her through.
They’ve all cleared the first checkpoint.
INT. KOMITEH HQ – MORNING Khalkali comes upon a diplomatic photograph of a man with glasses. He starts to leaf through the photographs from the bazaar.
QUICK CUT TO:
EXT. BAZAAR – POV OF THE REVOLUTIONARY GUARD PHOTOGRAPHER – DAY Mark Lijek being photographed at the bazaar the previous day.
QUICK CUT BACK TO: INT. KOMITEH HQ – MORNING KHALKALI — looks at the black and white still of Mark Lijek, compares it to his diplomatic picture, the first portrait we saw of Mark toward the beginning of the film. MATCH. Khalkali stands up.
SHOUTS in Farsi to another Komiteh —
NOTE: The use of Farsi makes it even more intimidating- as we don’t know what they’re saying and they’re scrutinizing everything. The diplomats have to stay super calm. Will they crack?
INT. MEHRABAD AIRPORT – SECOND CHECKPOINT – MORNING Bob Anders stands in front of a rough-voiced IMMIGRATION OFFICER. He’s holding Bob Anders’ YELLOW IMMIGRATION FORM and leafing through a file of hundreds of WHITE IMMIGRATION FORMS, the duplicates. Without success. IMMIGRATION OFFICER #2 (in Farsi; to Officer #1, re: his own white pile)
Nothing.
NOTE: They know that there won’t be matching papers from two days ago and this is a big, big hurdle. Will the immigration officers let it go?
IMMIGRATION OFFICER (to Bob Anders) When did you say you arrived in Iran?
BOB ANDERS Two days ago.
IMMIGRATION OFFICER What was the purpose of your visit?
BOB ANDERS We were looking at locations to make a film. I’m the director.
Immigration Officer pauses and looks up. Looks at the six other faces. He looks every bit as confrontational as Tony acted in rehearsal.
BOB ANDERS (very calm) We have a letter from the Minister of Culture … *
The Immigration Officer gestures for the letter. Bob takes the letter inviting them on their location scout out of a folder. Tony, barely perceptibly, nods.
INT. KOMITEH HQ – MORNING Khalkali is now speaking with MORADI, an older Komiteh official. They speak Farsi and it’s untranslated, but we get it. He is showing the photograph of Mark Lijek from the bazaar and comparing it to the U.S. diplomatic photograph. Moradi picks up the phone as Khalkali heads out.
NOTE: Mark, one of the diplomats is discovered to be an American (Canadian passport fake) Will the diplomats get onto the plane before that’s communicated to immigration?
INT. MEHRABAD AIRPORT – SECOND CHECKPOINT – MORNING Immigration Officer is conferring with Immigration Officer #2 as they look at the letter from the Minister of Culture. The Houseguests and Mendez wait. Finally, Immigration Officer #2 shrugs.
IMMIGRATION OFFICER Okay — Yes — Okay — He waves them through. Second checkpoint done.
NOTE: The groundwork has saved them- so far.
INT. CIA – THE PIT – NIGHT Malinov, a phone to his ear. Ringing.
NOTE: CIA cannot reach the production office. Will they be there in time to answer any Iranian’s call?
MALINOV C’mon c’mon c’mon —
INT. ARGO PRODUCTION OFFICE – NIGHT The phone in the office rings. No one is there.
EXT. WARNER BROS. STUDIOS – NIGHT Siegel and Chambers are walking back to the Argo office. They are within sight of the Argo bungalow, but a P.A. * steps in front of them. P.A. (a stage whisper) I’m sorry, we’re shooting. He motions for them to wait. A movie — it looks like a police procedural — is shooting on the lot between them and the office.
NOTE: The phone situation is compounded by the guys delayed by a film shoot across from their office.
INT. AIRPORT GATE – MORNING
ANNOUNCEMENT (V.O.) Swissair announces general boarding for Flight 363 to Zurich. Passengers, mostly European businessmen, get up and approach the gate.
NOTE: The plane may take off before the six get through. Stress mounting.
INT. MEHRABAD AIRPORT – THIRD CHECKPOINT – MORNING Mendez checks in with the Houseguests with his eyes. They are now in sight of the airport gates. And here are six Komiteh. Young men — none more than 33 or so — holding automatic weapons. They have created their own checkpoint. It looks recent,
NOTE: The weapons are intimidating. And now, another unforeseen checkpoint. They don’t have a plan for this one.
A SCREENED-OFF AREA WITH TABLES.
KOMITEH #1 Passports.
He looks at the Canadian passports and then almost immediately speaks.
KOMITEH #1 You come. He directs Mendez and the Houseguests into the screened off area. Speaks in Farsi to another Komiteh.
INT. CIA – THE PIT – NIGHT LAMONT (holding the phone) Purser’s telling Swissair they’re not on the plane.
O’DONNELL They should have boarded already.
MALINOV (on another phone) Still no answer in L.A.
INT. MEHRABAD AIRPORT – THIRD CHECKPOINT – MORNING
MARK LIJEK A film.
Mark mimes turning the rotor of a movie camera. Komiteh #1 doesn’t understand.
AZIZI (O.S.) Sit down.
A young man with a beard — AZIZI, late 20s — arriving on the scene, speaking in Farsi to the others and then in very good American English. He looks at the six and the face he singles out is Joe Stafford’s.
AZIZI (harsh, icy; in * Farsi) * You. You had no business in Iran.
He motions for JOE STAFFORD to step forward. Mendez shifts. A tense moment.
NOTE: It seems like the end for them.
JOE STAFFORD (Farsi) * We did. We were preparing to make a movie here, sir.
AZIZI (Farsi) * You don’t have journalist visas.
NOTE: but he speaks Farsi and has a copy of the publicity. Will this convince them??? Because this Iranian seems like he’s got them cornered.
JOE STAFFORD (Farsi) * Not a documentary. A movie. Joe Stafford reaches into his pocket and gives Azizi a copy of the Argo Variety ad.
JOE STAFFORD (Farsi) * You see? (to Mendez; English) * Kevin, where’s your briefcase?
A beat on Mendez. Who then opens his accordion folder and takes from it the ARGO STORYBOARDS. Joe Stafford spreads them out on the table. Three other Komiteh in the room lean forward, their AUTOMATIC WEAPONS at their sides, and look at the STORYBOARD DRAWINGS. The Persian Empire futurism of Jack Kirby’s drawings.
JOE STAFFORD (Farsi) * These are the villains. Y’see these guys here? And these are the heroes… in the spice market… Joe Stafford points at the various drawings. He speaks with an ease and confidence that we didn’t know he had.
JOE STAFFORD (Farsi) * They know our hero is the Chosen * One, so they kidnap his son in the * spice market … They have these * chariots… like this one…
NOTE: The scene goes on longer, including being discovered just as they’re on the plane and it takes off- They barely get into neutral airspace- but they make it.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>What makes the film so riveting is that every single move could be death. The stakes are screamingly high- there are obstacles in both countries plus, the administrative types have to play cool- the acting performance of a lifetime. The tension is ratcheted up to ‘scream’
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Antonio Flores’ Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment
The label “for educational purposes” on the script Taken by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen really means it. Except from some instances of show-no-tell exposition, the script goes by the book and deserves a close study.
ASSIGNMENT: See anticipation in action by analyzing a scene from a produced script.
MOVIE: Taken
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NOTE: This goes from page 5 to 10 of the script. In the previous pages, we got the idea that Bryan Mills’ life is a mess. Divorced, he purchased a karaoke machine as a birthday present for his daughter Kim, 17. Bryan’s relationship with his ex-wife, Lenore, is ongoing conflict. Lenore is now married to a wealthy man, Stuart James.
In the previous section, the way how Bryan selected the present, the wrapping paper and the way how he folds the paper without using any tape, we learn that Bryan is extremely meticulous and that he loves his daughter. In this section, Bryan attends his daughter birthday party.
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EXT. JAMES MANSION – DAY
Bryan surrenders his car to a valet in the courtyard of the magnificent mansion, removes the wrapped karaoke machine from the back seat of his car, follows the rest of the adults toward the front door.
Everyone else is dressed designer, Bryan is strictly off the department store rack.
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NOTE: [ANTICIPATION] Fish out of the water. This is not your environment. This will not end up well.
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INT. JAMES MANSION – DAY
Bryan enters to a scene out of Homes of the Rich and Famous, complete with the adult cast of characters.
Beyond, through the French doors, in the vast grounds that stretch to the ocean, a no-expense-spared party is in full swing. An endless buffet attended by a dozen wait staff is set up under an expansive tent. On a dance floor laid over the lawn, teenagers hold sway, dancing, flirting, junior versions of their parents.
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NOTE: [ANTICIPATION-HOOK] – Bryan is, no doubt, walking straight into humiliation. One wonders how much this man will stand for the sake of having a moment to see his daughter turning 17.
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Off to the side, people line up to leave their gifts, which are neatly organized into a small mountain by a maid.
Bryan ignores the line when he sees KIM in the backyard. Not the twelve year old in the picture on his desk, but a young woman of seventeen. Tall, beautiful, full of life. A golden girl, who carries privilege easily, surrounded by friends, amidst a swirl of waiters, and photographers, videographers.
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NOTE: [SUSPENSE] He decides to break protocol. What’s going to happen now?
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EXT. BACKYARD – JAMES MANSION – DAY
Bryan exits, is immediately intercepted by…
SECURITY
Uh, sir excuse me, but the adult party is inside.
BRYAN
I’m Kim’s father.
SECURITY
Excuse me, but I work for her father.
BRYAN
Her REAL father.
SECURITY
Oh…
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NOTE: [ANTICIPATION/HOOK] This is humiliation act 1. This is the moment when the audience is saying: “Why did you have to attend this party?” “Don’t go, you fool!”
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And then…
LENORE
It’s alright Cyril.
The Security backs off as LENORE, the woman in the home video/dream, older, but still beautiful, dressed rich/casual, the mistress of the exquisitely appointed mansion, appears.
LENORE
(cool)
Hello Bryan.
BRYAN
Hello Lenore.
The moment is awkward, at best.
BRYAN
I just wanted to give Kim her present.
LENORE
We’re letting the kids have their own space. You can put it with all the others.
She points to the pile of presents inside.
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NOTE: [ANTICIPATORY DIALOGUE] The message “you are no special” makes us say “I told you so.” Now, how worse can this go?
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BRYAN
I wanted it to be more personal.
LENORE
Still having trouble following the rules, I see.
BRYAN
Oh come on Lennie…
LENORE
I’ve asked you not to call me that please.
BRYAN
(pointed)
Excuse me. Lenore.
=============NOTE: [EMOTIONAL DESCRIPTION] Bryan is willing to suffer this humiliation for the sake of seeing his daughter. [ANTICIPATORY HOOK] It is clear who makes the rules and who follows the rules. Now, is this the worst that things could go?
=============
KIM
Hi…
He turns to his daughter.
BRYAN
Hello darling. Happy birthday.
He hands her the box.
KIM
Thanks!She hugs him.
LENORE
I was just telling your father we arranged to have all the presents.BRYAN
Open it.
LENORE
Sweetie, I think it’s bad manners to open one and not…
BRYAN
Here…
He takes the bow off, pulls one end of the wrapping. The whole paper comes away neatly.
KIMCOOl.
BRYAN
No tape. I learned it in Japan.
=============
NOTE: [SUSPENSE] Although Bryan seems to score some points and gain territory, we can expect Lenore to figure something out to punish Bryan… and so she says:
=============
LENORE
(bemused)
A karaoke machine?
The diminishing tone in her voice stings.
BRYAN
(apologetic)I figured she wants to be a singer.
LENORE
When she was twelve Bryan. We’ve moved on.
Bemusement mixes with a barely contained disdain.
KIM
Thank you Daddy.
She hugs him. And whispers in his ear.
KIM
I still want to be a singer. Just don’t tell Mom.
A bit redeemed, Bryan takes out a disposable camera.
BRYAN
OK. One for the book…
LENORE
We have a professional photographer.
Bryan ignores Lenore’s roll of the eyes.
BRYAN
Big smile.
=============
NOTE: [EMOTIONAL DESCRIPTION] The father-daughter relationship gives a reason for Bryan to endure the humiliation and for us to stay with him. [ANTICIPATION] Now, what else could go wrong?
=============
Kim stands next to the machine, flashes a 24 karat smile. And just as Bryan snaps the picture, a commotion from the far side of the property draws her attention to…
STUART JAMES, rich, polished, impeccably dressed and coifed cantering a magnificent specimen of a horse through the gate.
The crowd parts, and then, follows the horse and rider as they head right for an astonished Kim, a delighted Lenore, a chagrined Bryan.
Stuart pulls on the reins and comes to an abrupt halt right in front of Kim, Lenore and Bryan. He leaps off the horse, hands the reins to Kim.
STUART
Happy birthday darling.
KIM
Oh my godl Oh my god!
She throws her arms around his neck, peppers him with mad kisses.
KIM
I love you! I love you!
Bryan winces involuntarily, each word, each kiss a small nick on his heart.
=============
NOTE: [EMOTIONAL DESCRIPTION] This is the blow that ends the duel. Bryan knows that he is no match for Stuart. He must leave defeated. The whole section is a vivid emotional description of a man who is repented for not having taken care of his family. We know that he is paying the price of serving his country.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Cameron Martin’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is…The value in setting up a question at the beginning of a scene, and answering the question with another question at the conclusion of each scene. I wanted to go with Frank Darabont’s first few pages of THE WALKING DEAD pilot, but couldn’t find a version that I could reasonably copy and paste. So I went with the first few pages of A FEW GOOD MEN. Both start with teasers that open up a world of questions, both start with morally grey situations, and both include dialogue that immediately raises questions ABOUT THE CHARACTERS and their successes. In both scripts, the situations and terminology raise questions naturally: What’s a Code Red? What’s the difference between the different fire arm mags, and is the difference important? What does Rick mean by “What’s the difference between men and women,” If not Jo, then who is “the right man for the job,” etc. But, the dialogue itself presents questions about the characters that we want to know. Will Jo overcome her nervousness and succeed in her attempt to persuade the other officers to let her lead the case? What is the other side of Shane when he’s not around Rick? All of it is built in with such efficiency, you don’t notice the plethora of story questions being asked unless you’re looking for them.
The first few pages of A FEW GOOD MEN…
FADE IN:
EXT. A SENTRY TOWER —
— in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere. Small beams of light coming from lamps attached to the tower cut through the ground mist. We HEAR all the unidentifiable sounds of night in the woods. We also HEAR, very, very faintly, a slow, deliberate drum cadence. And as this starts, we begin to MOVE SLOWLY UP THE TOWER, more becomes visible now:… the sandbags on the ground piled ten-high… the steel, fire escape-type stairway wrapping around the structure and leading to the lookout post, and finally… THE LOOKOUT POST, maybe forty feet off the ground.
Standing the post is the silhouette of A MARINE. He’s holding a rifle and staring straight out. The drum cadence has been building slightly.
(Note: though the drum beat won’t play a role in the scene, it’s inclusion here not only raises the question but helps to connect the following scene. It’s simple but effective. In addition, the slow reveal of details helps to take us out of our current world and into the world of the script…into the world of The United States Military.)
CUT TO:
A WIDER SHOT OF THE FENCELINE. And we see by the moonlight that the tall wire-mesh fence winds its way far, far into the distance.
SUBTITLE: UNITED STATES NAVAL BASE GUANTANAMO BAY – CUBA.
The drum cadence continues, and we
CUT TO:
INT. A MARINE BARRACKS
We HEAR two pairs of footsteps and then
CUT TO:
(Note: the “CUT TO’s” are annoying, but they do help here to keep the pace moving between establishing shots. Rather than go into more detail, Aaron just cuts the sentence short and refers to a “CUT TO.” It’s another little trick that helps us not linger too long on anything where the importance of the moment doesn’t warrant more attention than what’s given.)
THE BARRACKS CORRIDOR
where we see that the footsteps belong to DAWSON and DOWNEY, two young marines who we’ll get to know later. They stop when they get to a certain door. The drum cadence is still growing. DAWSON puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it slowly. He opens’s the door and they walk into
INT. SANTIAGO’S ROOM – NIGHT
WILLY SANTIAGO, a young, very slight marine, lies asleep in his bunk. DAWSON kneels down by the bed, puts his hand on SANTIAGO’S shoulder and shakes him gently. SANTIAGO opens his eyes, looks at DAWSON, and for a moment there’s nothing wrong —
— and then SANTIAGO’s eyes fill with terror. He lunges out of the bed — but forget about it. In one flash DAWSON and DOWNEY grab him out of bed, and before the scream can come out, DOWNEY’s shoved a piece of cloth into SANTIAGO’s mouth.
Everything that happens next occurs with speed, precision and professionalism.
(Note: the description here is efficient. We don’t need to be told more because everyone’s actions, or the description of everyone’s actions tells us all we need to know: Santiago knows these two other marines, and isn’t concerned…at first. That alone tells us a lot about their relationship and that Dawson and Downey aren’t evil, in spite of what they’re about to do. In addition, the description “professionalism” raises so many questions about the nature of the Marine corps and how they treat their own.)
— A strip of duct tape is pulled, ripped, and slapped onto his mouth and eyes —
— A length of rope is wrapped around his hands and feet.
DOWNEY
(quietly)
You’re lucky it’s us, Willy.
(Note: “lucky it’s us.” Raises the question of how other Marines would act, what exactly is the prior relationship between Dawson and Downey and Santiago. What will be the consequences of Dawson and Downey’s actions.)
— An arm grabs him tightly around the neck, not choking him, just holding his head still —
— The drum cadence has built to a crescendo. We HEAR four sharp blasts from a whistle and we
SMASH CUT TO:
(Note: It’s a cliffhanger. They exist for a reason.)
EXT. THE WASHINGTON NAVY YARD – DAY
and the drum cadence we’ve been hearing has turned into Semper Fidelis and it’s coming from THE U.S. MARINE CORPS BAND, a sight to behold in their red and gold uniforms and polished
silver and brass. The BAND is performing on the huge and lush parade grounds before a crowd made up mostly of TOURISTS and DAY-CAMPERS. As the TITLES ROLL, we watch the BAND do their thing from various angles. Incredible precision is the name of the game. Each polished black shoe hitting the ground as if they were all attached by a rod. Each drumstick raised to the same fraction of a centimeter before striking. A RIFLE DRILL TEAM that can’t possibly be human. Flags, banners, the works.
(Note: This is an amazing comparison between the brutality we just witnessed, and the awe-inspiring performance of the Marine Corps. We, as the reader and eventually audience, are conflicted between the emotions of wanting to stay the hell away from the Corps, and wanting to drive to the local recruiting office this instant. And that conflict, though subtle and not necessarily a major part of the story, compels us to read and understand more about this fascinating world of the military, it’s virtues and flaws.)
SUBTITLE: THE WASHINGTON NAVY YARD, WASHINGTON, D.C.
CUT TO:
HIGH ANGLE of the entire band an we end credits.
CUT TO:
EXT. A RED BRICK BUILDING – DAY
It’s an important building, a main building. A few SAILORS enter and exit and
CUT TO:
A WOMAN
as she walks across the courtyard toward the brick building. The WOMAN is JOANNE GALLOWAY, a navy lawyer in her early 30’s. She’s bright, attractive, impulsive, and has a tendency to speak quickly. If she had any friends, they’d call her JO. As she walks, she mutters to herself …
(Note: Ah, the Creating Compelling Characters segment of this course. It’s perfect that rather than meet Kaffee next, we meet Jo, who is seemingly on the other end of the spectrum from Dawson and Downey. Again, the conflict of ideas makes us want to solve the puzzle as to how these ideas fit in the same world.)
JO
I’m requesting… I’m… Captain, I’d like to request that I be the attorney assigned to rep — I’d like to request that it be myself who is assigned to represent —
(she stops)
“That it be myself who is assigned to represent”? …Good, Jo, that’s confidence inspiring.
(Note: She’s preparing for an interview. Empathy: we’ve all been there and know what failing that interview feels like. Anticipation: can she succeed?)
We follow JO, still muttering, as she walks into the brick building which bears the seal of the
UNITED STATES NAVY – JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL’S CORPS
CUT TO:
INT. WEST’S OFFICE – DAY
As JO enters. CAPTAIN WEST and two other officers, GIBBS and LAWRENCE, sit around a conference table.
GIBBS
Jo, come on in.
JO
Thank you, sir.
GIBBS
Captain West, this is Lt. Commander Galloway. Jo, you know Mike Lawrence.
JO
Yes sir.
(to WEST)
Captain, I appreciate your seeing me on such short notice.
WEST
I understand there was some trouble over the weekend down in Cuba.
JO
Yes sir… This past Friday evening. Two marines, Corporal Harold Dawson and Private Louden Downey, entered the barracks room of a PFC William Santiago and assaulted him. Santiago died at the base hospital approximately an hour later. The NIS agent who took their statements maintains they were trying to prevent Santiago from naming them in a fenceline shooting incident. They’re scheduled to have a hearing down in Cuba at 4:00 this afternoon.
(Note: Ah. So that’s what happened to Santiago in the previous scene. This whole story is going to be the fallout from that moment.)
LAWRENCE
What’s the problem?
JO
Dawson and Downey are both recruiting poster marines and Santiago was known to be a screw-up. I was thinking that it sounded an awful lot like a code red.
Jo lets this sink in a moment.
(Note: “But what’s a code red?” the reader asks. Yeah, you can call it cheap, but it works to keep up reading. Aaron’s smart in knowing that the audience doens’t need to know crap yet. All they need to know is that “code red” is important in the military world, and so if we want to know more, we’d better keep on reading.)
WEST
(under his breath)
Christ.
(Note: So, whatever this “code red” is, it must be pretty bad, and sounds an aweful lot like the previous brutality is something official that the Marines carry out on their own. Why would they do this to each other? Have to keep reading to find out.)
JO
I’d like them moved up to Washington and assigned counsel. Someone who can really look into this. Someone who possesses not only the legal skill, but a familiarity with the inner workings of the military. In short, Captain, I’d like to suggest that… I be the one who, that it be me who is assigned to represent them.
(beat)
Myself.
(Note: Man, that was bad. Again, Empathy: we’ve delivered a bad interview before. In addition, we know immediately Jo’s big weakness. We also know Jo, this perceived good natured and virtuous woman, WANTS to represent two men we’ve just found out murdered a fellow marine. Why and will, should they be freed from their charges? What’s so great about the teaser as well is that we’ve seen for ourselves what Dawson and Downey did. WE’RE WITNESSES. So, by extension, we’re a part of the jury, and engaged in this trial. If you’re not hooked yet…)
Jo looks around the room for a response.
WEST
Joanne, why don’t you get yourself a cup of coffee.
JO
Thank you, sir, I’m fine.
WEST
Joanne, I’d like you to leave the room so we can talk about you behind your back.
(Note: This is just funny. We know she didn’t get the gig, but what will they decide candidly when Jo’s not in the room?)
JO
Certainly, sir.
JO gets up and walks out.
WEST
I thought this Code Red shit wasn’t going on anymore.
LAWRENCE
With the marines at GITMO? Who the hell knows what goes on down there.
(Note: Ah, so the GITMO is its own unique world, isolated from the rest of the military. What all does that encompass, and how else is GITMO unique?)
WEST
Well lets find out before the rest of the world does, this thing could get messy. What about this woman?
LAWRENCE
Jo’s been working a desk at internal affairs for what, almost a year now.
WEST
And before that?
GIBBS
She disposed of three cases in two years.
WEST
Three cases in two years? Who was she handling, the Rosenbergs?
GIBBS
She’s not cut out for litigation.
LAWRENCE
She’s a hall of an investigator, Jerry —
GIBBS
In Internal Affairs, sure. She can crawl up a lawyer’s ass with the best of ’em, but when it comes to trial work —
WEST
I know. All passion, no street smarts. Bring her back in.
(Note: More about Jo’s character. She’s a fighter. We like her spirit, and know exactly why she’s not the one. But then, who is?)
LAWRENCE goes to the door and motions for JO to come back in.
WEST (continuing)
Commander, we’re gonna move the defendants up here in the morning.
JO
Thank you, sir.
WEST
And I’ll have Division assign them counsel…
JO
(beat)
But… not me.
WEST
From what I understand from your colleagues, you’re much too valuable in your present assignment to be wasted on what I’m sure will boil down to a five minute plea bargain and a week’s worth of paper work.
JO
Sir —
WEST
Don’t worry about it. I promise you, division’ll assign the right man for the job.
(Note: Who is the right man?)
CUT TO:
EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD – DAY
THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE JOB
(Note: Oh, ask and you shall receive.)
His name is LIEUTENANT JUNIOR GRADE DANIEL ALLISTAIR KAFFEE, and it’s almost impossible not to like him. At the moment he’s hitting fungoes to about a dozen LAWYERS who are spread out on the softball field on a corner of the bass. The ’27 Yankees they’re not, but they could probably hold their own against a group of, say, Airforce dentists.
(Note: More description of the world of the military and how it differs from the opening. For the most part, we’ve been introduced to a very normal world, in spite of the pageantry and violence shown in the beginning.)
KAFFEE’s in his late 20’s, 15 months out of Harvard Law School, and a brilliant legal mind waiting for a courageous spirit to drive it. He is, at this point in his life, passionate about nothing… except maybe softball.
(Note: How is a guy with no passions outside of softball going to be the right man? Is it a joke, throwing the case to the least qualified individual, or is Kaffee really a diamond in the ruff? Again, we’re engaged to find out more. Each scene is ending with an answer to the question it started with, while also raising more questions.)
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BODY HEAT
I learned how description and careful dialogue, followed by a strong character set up, can hook the reader and set up extreme anticipation and a yearning to know what comes next.
I’d say this scene is the inciting incident in which Racine meets a woman who is as big a player as he is. He’s looking for immediate gratification and she offers that in spades only makes him work for it. Before this, he’s already had a one-night stand with a woman who clearly knows she’s just that but is there willingly. He doesn’t have to try hard. After this opening, we see him gaming in court and ultimately getting his awful client off by gaming the judge. Once again, he hasn’t tried hard but played incompetent to get the judge to lower the sentence. After, we see him greeting a female client and playing her just as he plays everyone. In the scene below, he meets a woman who is willing to play as hard as he does.
EXT. THE BEACHFRONT WALKWAY – NIGHT The Woman, MATTY, has walked to the rail. She stands there now lighting a cigarette. She presents her face to the ocean, hoping for a breeze. We move in on her, with Racine. Racine lights a new cigarette and smiles at her. She looks at him and, for an instant, her eyes race over his body, then she looks back at the ocean. IN THE OPENING SCENE WITH RACINE, HIS EYES MOVED RACED OVER HIS FEMALE COMPANION’S BODY BEFORE HE INITATED SEX AGAIN. NOW MATTY EYE’S RACE OVER HIS BODY. A REVERSAL THAT SUGGESTS ANTICIPATION OF THEM HAVING SEX. ALSO, THE VIVID DESCRIPTION CREATES A VERY SENSUAL TENSION.
RACINE You can stand here with me if you want, but you’ll have to agree not to talk about the heat.
She looks at him, and there is something startling about the directness of her gaze. When she speaks, she is cool without being hostile.
MATTY I’m a married woman.
RACINE Meaning what?
MATTY Meaning I’m not looking for company.
She turns back toward the ocean.
RACINE Then you should have said — ‘I’m a happily married woman.’
MATTY That’s my business. UNCERTAINTLY – WILL SHE, OR WON’T SHE?
RACINE What?
MATTY How happy I am.
RACINE And how, happy is that? WRITING WITH ATTITUDE.
She looks at him curiously.
She begins walking slowly along the rail.
He walks too.
MATTY You’re not too smart, are you?
Racine shakes his head “no.”
MATTY I like that in a man. ATTITUDE, CREATES ANTICIPATION
RACINE What else you like — Ugly? Lazy? Horny? I got ’em all.
MATTY You don’t look lazy.
Racine smiles.
MATTY Tell me, does chat like that work with most women?
RACINE Some. If they haven’t been around much.
MATTY I wondered. Thought maybe I was out of touch.
She stops again at the rail as a small breeze blows in from the ocean. She turns her back to it and, with her cigarette dangling from her lips, she uses both hands to lift her hair up off her nape. She closes her eyes as the air hits her. Racine watches very closely.
RACINE How ’bout I buy you a drink?
MATTY I told you. I’ve got a husband.
RACINE I’ll buy him one too.
MATTY He’s out of town.
RACINE My favorite kind. We’ll drink to him.
MATTY He only comes up on the weekends. MORE SEXUAL ANTICIPATION
Matty lets her hair fall and again begins moving down walkway.
She drops her cigarette and steps on it.
RACINE I’m liking him better all the time. You better take me up on this quick. In another forty-five minutes I’m going to give up and walk away. HE’S TESTING HER WILLINGNESS TO CONTINUE TO PLAY.
MATTY You want to buy me something? I’ll take one of these.
They have come upon a Vendor selling snow cones.
RACINE What kind?
MATTY Cherry. TOTAL SEXUAL FOREPLAY
RACINE (to Vendor) Make it two.
The Vendor scoops and pours as Racine lays some change on the cart.
RACINE (to Matty) You’re not staying in Miranda Beach. (she shakes her head “no”) I would have noticed you.
MATTY Is this town that small?
Racine hands her a snow cone. They walk over to the rail. Racine watches her eat the snow cone with enormous interest.
RACINE Pinehaven. You’re staying up in Pinehaven, on the waterway. (she gives him a look, surprised) You have a house.
MATTY How’d you know?
RACINE You look like Pinehaven.
MATTY How does Pinehaven look?
RACINE Well tended.
She looks out at the ocean.
MATTY Yes, I’m well tended, all right. Well tended. What about you?
RACINE Me? I need tending. I need someone to take care of me. Rub my tired muscles. Smooth out my sheets.
MATTY Get married.
RACINE I just need it for tonight.
For the first time, Matty laughs. A moment later, she spills the snow cone over the front of her dress. It makes a bright red stain against the white. The thin material clings to the line of her breast.
MATTY Good. Nice move, Matty. DOUBLE ENTRENDRE – IT WAS A MOVE ON HER PART FEIGNED AS AN ACCIDENT. IT TELLS US SHE’S PLAYING ALONG IN THE SEDUCTION — BUT NOW WE WONDER WHY. DOES SHE KNOW HE’S A LAWYER? HAS SHE SCOPED HIM OUT BEFOREHAND?
RACINE Matty. I like it. Right over your heart.
MATTY At least it’s cool. I’m burning up.
RACINE I asked you not to talk about the heat.
MATTY Would you get me a paper towel or something? Dip it in some cold water.
Racine starts toward the restroom nearby.
RACINE Right away. I’ll even wipe it off for you.
MATTY You don’t want to lick it? THIS LETS US FINALLY KNOW FOR SURE THAT SHE’S GOING FOR A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER AND NOW ACTIVELY SPEEDING IT ALONG. THE READER CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER ‘WHY?’ THIS IS A WOMAN WHO CAN HAVE ANYBODY, SO WHY HIM? IT SEEMS A PLAN IS IN PLAY AND WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT. A PAGE TURNER TO BE SURE.
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Writing with Boldness Day 1 – Making Your Script and Page Turner
PS81 – Dana’s Anticipation Scene
What I learned from this assignment:
This scene showed me how to reveal a character by building anticipation. Each moment gives us a little bit of information until the Joker finally reveals himself. We have a great understanding of his character within an action sequence that creates suspense for future events. The Joker robbing the Mob hooks us into the story fast and lays the foundation for the rest of the film.
The Dark Night – Opening Scene
BURNING. Massive flames. A dark shape emerges – The BAT SYMBOL. Growing. Filling the screen with BLACKNESS.
CUT TO:
DAYLIGHT. Moving over the towers of downtown Gotham…
Closing in on an office building…
On a large window…
Which SHATTERS to reveal –
INT. OFFICE, HIGH RISE — DAY
A man in a CLOWN MASK holding a SMOKING SILENCED PISTOL ejects a shell casing. This is DOPEY. He turns to a second man,
HAPPY, also in clown mask, who steps forward with a CABLE LAUNCHER, aims at a lower roof across the street and FIRES a cable across. Dopey secures the line to an I-beam line – CLAMP on- sends a KIT BAG out then steps OUT the window…
EXT. HIGH-RISE — DAY
…into space. The men SLIDE across the DIZZYING DROP…
landing on the lower roof across the street.
NOTE: Two masked men in a dizzying action sequence must be up to no good. This creates intrigue to know what they are doing. Cutting away from them in the middle of the action creates anticipation.
EXT. DOWNTOWN GOTHAM — DAY
A MAN on the corner, back to us, holding a CLOWN MASK. An SUV pulls up. The man gets in, puts on his mask. Inside the car- two other men wearing CLOWN MASKS.
GRUMPY
Three of a kind. Let’s do this.
One of the Clowns looks up from loading his automatic weapon.
CHUCKLES
That’s it? Three guys?
GRUMPY
There’s two on the roof. Every guy is an extra share. Five shares is plenty.
CHUCKLES
Six shares. Don’t forget the guy who planned the job.
GRUMPY
Yeah? He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice, then I get why they call him the Joker.
Grumpy cocks his weapon. Bozo pulls the car over in front of the GOTHAM FIRST NATIONAL BANK.
NOTE: We now know the men are robbing a bank. We also know there is a sixth man who planned the robbery who is about to be cut out of the deal. Who is the sixth man?
EXT. ROOFTOP, BANK — CONTINUOUS
Dopey PRIES open an access panel –
HAPPY
Why do they call him the Joker?
DOPEY
I heard he wears make-up.
HAPPY
Make-up?
Dopey pulls out thick bundles of blue CAT 5 cables.
DOPEY
Yeah. To scare people. War paint.
NOTE: We have now been introduced the sixth man – the Joker. Which also explains why the men are wearing clown masks.
EXT. BANK — CONTINUOUS
Grumpy, Chuckles and Bozo get out of the car and march into the bank CARRYING ASSAULT RIFLES–
INT. BANK – DAY
The Security Guard looks up- Grumpy FIRES into the ceiling.
Customers SCREAM. Chuckles CRACKS the Security Guard.
As Grumpy and Bozo round up the hostages, one of the TELLERS presses a button mounted beneath her window – a SILENT ALARM.
EXT. ROOFTOP — DAY
Dopey watches the alarm PING his handheld.
DOPEY
Here comes the silent alarm.
(touches a button)
And there it goes. That’s funny. It didn’t dial out to 911- it was trying to reach a private number.
Behind him, Happy RAISES his silenced HANDGUN.
HAPPY
Is it a problem?
DOPEY
No, no. I’m done here.
Happy SHOOTS. Dopey SLUMPS. Happy picks up his bag and FORCES OPEN the roof access door…
NOTE: Why doesn’t call go to 911? Who does it go to? And when one shoots the other, we learn these bank robbers are betraying each other. Is that part of the plan?
INT. STAIRWELL, BANK — DAY
…and speeds down the stairs, to the basement. He SLAMS open the door…
INT. VAULT ROOM, BANK — DAY
…and comes face to face with a huge VAULT.
INT. LOBBY, BANK – DAY
Bozo and Grumpy move down the line of hostages – Bozo hands each Hostage OBJECTS from a bag. A GRENADE. Grumpy follows, PULLING THE PINS.
GRUMPY
Obviously, we don’t want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on for dear life.
BLAM. Chuckles is BLOWN OFF HIS FEET – Grumpy and Bozo DIVE for cover – the Bank Manager steps out of his office, SHOTGUN in hand.
Hostages SCRAMBLE, CLINGING their grenades…
NOTE: What bank manager takes out a shotgun and begins shooting? It’s obviously not an ordinary bank. Who are these men robbing?
INT. VAULT ROOM, BANK – DAY
Happy CLAMPS a DRILL to the vault- the bit SPINS – SLIDES into the metal door – a BOLT of ELECTRICITY RIPS THROUGH THE DRILL, THROWING HAPPY TO THE FLOOR.
NOTE: What bank has an electrified vault? This adds to the idea they’re robbing the wrong people.
INT. LOBBY, BANK — DAY
Grumpy and Bozo cower as the Bank Manager FIRES again.
GRUMPY
He’s got three left?
Bozo raises TWO fingers. Grumpy squeezes off a SHOT. The Bank Manager FIRES. FIRES again. Grumpy looks at Bozo, who nods. Grumpy JUMPS UP.
The Bank Manager FIRES – Grumpy GRUNTS as buckshot CLIPS his shoulder. FALLS. The Bank Manager moves in for the kill, FUMBLING for new shells. Bozo STANDS – SHOOTS him.
Bozo picks up the shotgun. Grumpy checks his wound – it’s superficial. He struggles to his feet.
GRUMPY (CONT’D)
Where’d you learn to count?!
Bozo’s mask stares him down. Grumpy heads for the stairs in the back. Bozo starts loading fresh shells into the shotgun.
BANK MANAGER
You have any idea who you’re stealing from? You and your friends are dead.
Bozo looks down at him. Says nothing.
NOTE: When the manager warns the robbers that they’re dead, we know they’re robbing from very dangerous people, setting up the potential reprisals they will face in the future.
INT. VAULT ROOM, BANK – DAY
Happy at the vault door, barefoot, turning the tumblers with hands stuffed into his SNEAKERS. Grumpy walks in.
HAPPY
They wired this thing up with 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that?
GRUMPY
A mob bank. Guess the Joker’s as crazy as they say.
Happy shrugs. Grips the WHEEL BOLT and SPINS it.
GRUMPY (CONT’D)
Where’s the alarm guy?
HAPPY
Boss told me when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share.
GRUMPY
Funny, he told me something similar…
Happy FREEZES. The wheel SPINS to a STOP- the vault DOOR CLUNKS OPEN- Happy GRABS for his weapon- SPINS to see Grumpy SHOOT. Grumpy steps over Happy into the vault…
NOTE: We now know they’re robbing from the Mob. And the boss – the Joker – has no fear. And that he has arranged for them to betray each other tells us he has no loyalty.
INT. VAULT, BANK — DAY
…which is filled with an eight-foot MOUNTAIN OF CASH.
INT. LOBBY, BANK — DAY
Grumpy walks into the lobby, straining under several DUFFELS filled with cash. He DUMPS them. Looks at Bozo. LAUGHS.
GRUMPY
C’mon, there’s a lot to carry…
INT. LOBBY, BANK — DAY
Bozo walks back into the lobby with two more DUFFELS. Sets them down on an ENORMOUS PILE. Grumpy looks at it.
GRUMPY
If this guy was so smart, he would have had us bring a bigger car.
Grumpy JABS his pistol in Bozo’s back. Takes his weapon.
GRUMPY (CONT’D)
I’m betting the Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
BOZO
(shakes head)
No. I kill the bus driver.
GRUMPY
Bus driver? What bus-
Bozo steps backwards. SMASH. Hostages SCREAM as the TAIL END OF A YELLOW SCHOOL BUS ROCKETS through the front of the bank, SLAMMING Grumpy into the teller’s window.
NOTE: This was a great surprise that demonstrates the Joker’s genius. We have no idea why he would use a school bus until the final scene.
Bozo picks up Grumpy’s weapon. Another clown OPENS the rear door of the bus. Bozo SHOOTS him. Then loads the bags onto the bus. The wounded Bank Manager watches him. In the distance: SIRENS.
BANK MANAGER
Think you’re smart, huh? Well, the guy who hired you’s just do the same to you…
Bozo slowly shakes his head.
BANK MANAGER (CONT’D)
Sure he will. Criminals in this town used to believe in things…
Bozo turns back to the Bank Manager. Crouches over him.
BANK MANAGER (CONT’D)
Honor. Respect. What do you believe, huh? What do you bel-
Bozo slides a GRENADE into the man’s mouth. A PURPLE THREAD is knotted around the pin.
THE JOKER
I believe that what doesn’t kill you…
Bozo PULLS off his MASK. The Bank Manager GASPS. In the reflections of the glass DEBRIS behind the Bank Manager we see GLIMPSES of a SCARRED MOUTH and CLOWN MAKEUP. THE JOKER.
THE JOKER (CONT’D)
…simply makes you stranger.
NOTE: We’ve been building anticipation for the Joker. When he takes off his mask and reveals he’s one of the robbers – the last robber in the car – it’s a strong character introduction. It also explains why he was silent until now, not wanting to reveal himself to the robbers or the audience. Is show us how smart and/or crazy he is.
The Bank Manager’s eyes go wide. The Joker rises, strolls towards the bus, the purple thread attached to the grenade pin UNRAVELING FROM THE PURPLE LINING of his jacket as he walks. The Joker climbs into the bus, SHUTS the rear door,
TRAPPING THE PURPLE THREAD…
EXT. SCHOOL, GOTHAM — DAY
Kids pour out, heading onto a long line of school buses.
INT. BANK — CONTINUOUS
As the bus pulls out, the purple thread PULLS THE PIN – hostages scream and scurry away from the Bank Manager, who shakes with fear as, with a FIZZ, the grenade does not explode, but SPEWS RED SMOKE.
NOTE: The Joker is a prankster.
EXT. BANK — DAY
The School Bus pulls free of the Bank wall and pulls out onto the street, SLIDING INTO THE LINE OF IDENTICAL BUSES HEADING PAST THE BANK. The buses trundle past COP CARS racing up the street… and we –
NOTE: This scene hooks you in from the beginning. The robbery and the Joker are revealed incrementally. The Joker is mentioned by the robbers, creating anticipation for his character reveal. Stealing from the Mob, the robbers betraying one another, we learn the Joker is reckless, fearless, crazy, a prankster, and he has no loyalty to anyone but himself. And using a school bus as his getaway is a unique surprise.
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(Anita Gomez) Day 1 Writing with Boldness Module – Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this assignment: I picked this particular scene because it deals with the very emotional subject of abortion, as does my script. It was interesting to see how the renowned writer John Irving dealt with it on the page. (Not to mention it won the 2000 Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay) These 2 scenes were separated by a few short others; but I wanted to focus on the drama leading up to the procedure, and then the emotional aftermath. It is also a very pivotal moment in the story. I learned that simple suspense, anticipation, and banked emotions can deliver a punch without over-the-top descriptions. In fact, I think I see how restrained emotions can actually deliver more impact.
Film: CIDER HOUSE RULES
What’s happened up to this point: The story follows Homer Wells, who lives in a World War II–era Maine orphanage run by a doctor who trains him. But Homer yearns for a self-chosen life outside the orphanage. When Wally and pregnant Candy visit the orphanage, Dr. Larch provides a medically safe, albeit illegal, abortion. It is this couple and their story that gives Homer the impetus to leave the orphanage and he gets a ride with them into an uncertain future.
INT. LARCH’S OFFICE – DAY
Homer is seated in the desk chair. The impressive couple sit in front of him.
NOTE: Seeing young Homer at Dr. Larch’s desk sets off anxiety for the couple and has us also wondering if Homer will be doing the procedure.
HOMER
So, Mrs…
CANDY
Candy. Candy Kendall.
Wally jumps up to his feet to shake Homer’s hand.
WALLY
Wally. Wally Worthington.
Wally sits down. The three sit still for an awkward moment.
HOMER(to Candy)
How many months are you?
CANDY(whispers)
Two.
NOTE: Candy’s two brief answers have clued us in as to her marital status and pregnancy… all we need to know.
Homer writes on a piece of paper. Candy and Wally exchange a worried look.
WALLY
So, now, uh… you’re not… I mean, do *you* do the–
HOMER
No. Dr. Larch will be performing the procedure.
WALLY (relieved)
Ah, well… okay. Good! I just wondered…
NOTE: Candy and Wally have gone from nervous to confused to impressed in just a few short moments.
Edna pokes her head in the door.
EDNA
Excuse me, Homer. Dr. Larch said this one is your turn.
Edna quickly sees that all three of them have misunderstood her.
NOTE: Good use of confusion.
EDNA
Oh, dear–I’m sorry. I meant the circumcision. That boy you delivered on Tuesday…
HOMER
Sure. Fine. Have you prepped him?
EDNA
I’ll get started.
Candy and Wally can’t conceal how impressed they are with the young Homer.
INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Homer walks down the corridor, dressed in his operating gown, as the door to the O.R. opens and Wally stumbles out, hurriedly opening a window. Wally breathes deeply to regain his composure.
NOTE: The uncertainty of what has happened is heightened by the unexpected sight of a man in a military uniform nearly getting sick.
WALLY
I think it was the ether–the smell got to me.
(pause)
God. This is all my fault.
NOTE: Emotional remorse clearly stated.
Edna comes down the hall with a dirt-stained, crying Curly who’s covering one eye.
EDNA(over the din)
Steerforth got into the pantry–he’s eaten all the pie dough.
CURLY(sobbing)
He wasn’t sharing it, either.
EDNA
He’s down the hall, throwing up.
Homer nods to Edna, who is marching off with Curly. Wally smiles at Homer.
NOTE: The 2 men’s differing reactions to the children’s crises says a lot. Then we hear Homer’s interest in Wally’s more exciting war activities –
HOMER
What kind of plane are you flying?
WALLY
A B-24 Liberator.
HOMER
Liberator…
WALLY
Have you enlisted?
HOMER
They wouldn’t take me. I’m Class IV–I’ve got a heart defect.
WALLY
Really! Is it serious?
HOMER
No, it’s not serious. I’m just not supposed to get excited. You know–no strain, no stress. I try to keep calm all the time.
Wally hears Homer’s facetiousness–how tired he is of his heart condition.
WALLY
Oh, well. I don’t imagine there’s any strain or stress around *here*!
Homer appreciates the joke.
NOTE: A very quick male bond has developed. The “relative” danger of flying an aircraft juxtaposed against Homer’s situation underscores his tedium with his own life.
The door to the operating room that Wally exited opens into the corridor; Candy is being wheeled out on a gurney by Larch and Angela. Wally rushes to Candy’s side. Homer follows slowly. Candy is groggy, coming out of the ether.
WALLY
How is she doing?
NOTE: His anxiety heightens our own.
LARCH
Just fine.
CANDY(slurred speech)
Boy or girl?
ANGELA
It was nothing–it’s all over.
WALLY
It’s all over, honey.
They walk Candy on her gurney. Homer looks after them.
CANDY(slurred speech)
I would like to have a baby, one day. I really would.
NOTE: References the future. What happens to Candy?
ANGELA
Why, of course–you can have as many children as you want. I’m sure you’ll have very beautiful children.
Larch wheels Candy behind a curtain.
NOTE: A good visual – Larch closing Wally out with the curtain shows him being protective of the woman, his patient, and dismissive of the guy who got her pregnant.
LARCH
You’ll have Princes of Maine! You’ll have Kings of New England!
Larch has a different tone of voice when he speaks to Wally.
LARCH
I suggest you find yourself some fresh air, Lieutenant.
Wally is left alone in the corridor.
NOTE: The few short scenes in-between here remind us of the mundane routine Homer is stuck with at the orphanage, and we feel his yearning for something “other” grow, culminating in his seemingly quick decision to leave the orphanage and his hasty “good-byes”.
INT./EXT. WALLY’S CAR – ON THE ROAD – AFTERNOON
There is quiet as the journey gets underway. Wally keeps glancing at Candy in the rear-view mirror; she seems distant, lost in thought. Homer is taking everything in–the speed, the road, the wind in his face.
INT. BOYS’ DIVISION – NIGHT
Angela speaks to the boys.
ANGELA
Let us be happy for Homer Wells…
NOTE: This simple refrain is repeated after any orphan gets adopted, helping us imagine Homer’s new possible future.
INT. WALLY’S CAR – NIGHT
The radio is playing. Candy is lying down, her knees drawn up, in the backseat; she appears to be asleep, oblivious to Homer and Wally’s conversation.
NOTE: Uncertainty here… how is Candy really doing?
WALLY
Actually, the Army has given me leave twice. First when my father died, and now I’m on leave to help my mother–I’m just trying to get her ready for the harvest. She’s no farmer. Apples were my dad’s business. And with the war on, she’s short on pickers.
Candy’s eyes are open but her voice is groggy.
CANDY (to Homer)
Wally thinks apples are boring.
WALLY (to Homer)
I never said they were boring.
CANDY
You said, “Apples aren’t exactly flying.”
WALLY
Well, they aren’t.
Homer looks back at Candy. Her eyes close.
HOMER
I think I’d probably like the apple business.
NOTE: Good hook. It reveals Homer’s interest in Candy.
WALLY
You’re a little overqualified, aren’t you?
HOMER
No, I’m not. I need a job.
WALLY
The only jobs are picking jobs. Picking apples is truly boring.
Candy’s eyes snap open and she sits up a little.
CANDY
There! You said it was boring.
WALLY
Well, *picking* them is! It’s about as exciting as… walking!
Candy seems irritated with Wally. Homer tries to engage her.
HOMER
Is your family in the apple business, too?
CANDY
No, but I work there–I like it. My dad’s a lobsterman.
HOMER
I’ve never seen a lobster.
CANDY
Really?
HOMER
I’ve never seen the ocean, either.
WALLY (amazed)
You’ve never seen the *ocean*?
Homer shakes his head, smiles.
WALLY
That’s not funny… that’s *serious*.
NOTE: We anticipate Homer’s awaiting adventures.
EXT./INT. ROADSIDE/CAR – NIGHT
The car is parked at the side of the road. Wally is half-hidden behind a tree. Candy and Homer are left alone in the car; there’s an awkward silence as Homer pretends not to hear Wally’s excessive peeing. Suddenly Candy starts to sob.
CANDY
I couldn’t have a baby with someone who’s leaving me–I didn’t know what else to do!
Homer is a doctor–he’s used to post-abortion reactions.
HOMER
I know.
CANDY
He’s going to be dropping bombs on Mandalay! They’re going to be shooting at him!
HOMER
Where’s Mandalay?
CANDY
Burma!
HOMER
Oh…
CANDY
I can’t have a baby alone. I don’t even know if he’s coming back!
HOMER
I understand.
He doesn’t, really. Wally returns. Wally leans over Candy to hug her.
WALLY
Honey, honey… of course I’ll come back.
Candy pounds on his chest with her fists.
NOTE: Good emotional description and underscores the uncertainty of this wartime situation.
CANDY
You don’t *know*, Wally. You have no *idea*!
Wally backs away. Candy sobs uncontrollably.
CANDY
Stay away from me!
Wally signals to Homer to get out of the car.
Later, Wally and Homer stand outside the car, overhearing Candy’s weeping. Homer is smoking nervously.
HOMER (strictly medical)
This is all normal. Don’t worry. The abortion procedure… it affects you. It’s the ether, too. It’ll take a little time.
WALLY
I don’t *have* any time. There’s a *war*!
HOMER
It’s all very normal.
Wally looks at Homer, who takes a nervous drag on his cigarette.
WALLY
You ought to cut that shit out–it’s terrible for you.
Homer looks at Wally; he sees the authority in his eyes. Homer drops his cigarette and puts it out with his foot.
They notice that Candy has stopped crying. Wally finds Candy asleep in the backseat.
NOTE: The uncertainly and stress surrounding everyone’s future is on display.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Anita Gomez.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Anna Harper Anticipation Scene
The 5th Element
written by Luke Besson and Robert Mark Kaman
NOTES are on; Anticipation, Suspense Curiosity Causing Anticipation
WHAT I LEARNED FROM THIS ASSIGNMENT.
I learned that by using the devices that cause anticipation, and originality, I was on the edge of my seat with curiosity throughout, and I am not a huge fan of Sci-Fi. Curiosity was a theme throughout, with the plot being gradually revealed. This assignment will make me conscious of choices regarding pacing and using these techniques to cause anticipation to keep my audience engaged.
What has happened to this point:
The film opens in 1914 in an Arabic desert location, an archaeologist is busy successfully deciphering a coded pictograph. A local priest is trying to block the archeologist’s work, the priest knows the secret of the pictograph. A friendly advanced aliens race has decided the archeologist knows too much and arrives to repossess the four sacred stones and a sarcophagus. (The five elements represent all that is good, which is a weapon that can protect the earth.) The aliens had instructed the priest to guard sacred stones/objects. The purpose of the sacred objects is to protect the earth from a great evil that wants to destroy the earth. The great evil has an opening chance once every 5,000 years in time, to fulfill its evil agenda and destroy earth.
Fast forward to 2263
The aliens’ spacecraft is on its way to earth as The Great Evil is on the way and earth needs the 5th Element to survive. The aliens are ambushed by mercenaries hired by an industrialist who is working for the Great Evil. Only a fragment of the hand of one of the aliens is all that remains.
From this, the government uses biotechnology (3d printing and gene technology ONLY RECENT TO THE MAKING OF THE FILM) to recreate the original occupant of the sarcophagus, a humanoid woman named Leeloo who remembers her previous life. they have her in a sealed chamber. Armed guards arrive to subdue her. She seems to evolve minute by m8nute discovering her superpowers. She escapes and jumps off a ledge, crashing into the flying taxi cab of Korben Dallas, (protagonist) a former major in Earth’s Special Forces.
. PROFESSOR MACTILBURGH, age 60, hurries alongside GENERAL MUNRO. MUNRO This is all that survived? MACTILBURGH Actually only one cell survived.. MUNRO Have you identified it? MACTILBURGH It's not that easy..we've never encountered anything like it before..you see normal human beings have 40 DNA memo groums..which is more than enough for any species to perpetuate itself..This one has 200,000. MUNRO Talk English Doc. MACTILBURGH This cell is like a huge library. It has infinite genetic knowledge stored inside. Almost like it was...engineered. MUNRO Sounds like a freak of nature to me. MACTILBURGH Yes... I can't wait to meet him.
NOTE PREVIOUS TEXT CREATES CURIOSITY ABOUT WHAT THEY WILL PRODUCE They pass into the lab. 53 INT. LABORATORY NOTE tHE DETAIL OF THE PROCESS BUILDS ANTICPATION The two enter a cylindrical laboratory. There is a huge glass turbine in the middle with the metal glove inside. A DNA chain scrolls on the computer screen. MACTILBURGH (rather fascinated) The compositional elements of his DNA chain are the same as ours, there are simply more of them tightly packed. His knowledge is probably limitless.. MUNRO (worried) Is there any danger? Some kind of virus? MACTILBURGH We put it through the cellular hygiene detector. The cell is for lack of a better word... perfect. Munro hesitates a moment. Then he sighs and uses his personal key to open the self-destruct box. MUNRO OK, go ahead! But Mr. Perfect better be polite... otherwise I turn him into cat food.
NOTE THIS CREATES ANTICIPATION Mactilburgh starts the operation rolling as Munro puts his hand on the sell-destruct button, ready to use it. Thousands of cells form in the heart of the generator, an assemblage of DNA elements. Then the cells move down a tube, like a fluid, and gather in an imprint of a HUMAN body. Step by step bones are reconstructed, then the nervous and muscular systems. Whole veins wrap around the muscles. An entire body is reconstructing before our very eyes.
DOCTOR Three seconds to ultra-violet protection. A shield comes over the reconstructing body and makes it invisible. MACTILBURGH (to Munro) ...This is the crucial phase, The reconstruction of pigment. Cells are bombarded with slightly greasy solar atoms which forces the body cells to react, to protect themselves. That means growing skin. Clever, eh? MUNRO (disgusted) Wonderful! The meter slows, drops to zero. ASSISTANT ... End of reconstruction, beginning of reanimation . A whoosh of air in the glass chamber. Captain Munro has his hand on the self-destruct button, ready to destroy the being that has barely been reborn. MACTILBURGH (pushing a button) Activate life support system. An electrical discharge fills the glass chamber causing the body inside to jerk. After a few moments of silence, the SOUND of a heartbeat fills the room over the loudspeaker. ASSISTANT Life support system activated. The Supreme Being is alive once again. MACTILBURGH Remove the shield. The ASSISTANT automatically removes the ultra-violet shield which slowly reveals... a woman... nude... young... and very beautiful. Munro stands there gaping. Not quite his vision of the Supreme Being. Mactilburgh glances at Munro and gently pushes his hand away from the self-destruct button. MACTILBURGH (with a smile) I told you ... perfect! Munro is hypnotized by the GIRL's beauty.
NOTES AT THIS POINT THERE IS UNCERTAINTY OF HOW FAR THE SICKENING CHAUVANISTIC EXPLOITATION OF THIS VULNERABLE CAPTIVE WILL GO. MUNRO ...I'd, uh , like to get a few pictures for the archives before she wakes up. Mactilburgh looks at him with a grin. A remote-control camera approaches the girl's face, a flash goes off. Blinded by the flash, the girl jumps and screams. She cowers in a corner, shaking from the cold, darting eyes everywhere looking for the case she was holding. GIRL (very angry) Ouacra cocha o dayodomo binay ouacra mo cocha ferji akba ligounai makta keratapla. Tokemata tokemata! Seno santonoi-aypa! Minoi ay Cheba! Givomana seno! MUNRO (worried) What's she saying? MACTILBURGH (to his ASSISTANT) Activate the phonic detector. The girl kicks the window repeatedly.
NOTES She is almost feral in her behavior, terrified of the case they have her in and the armed guards that arrive to subdue her. MACTILBURGH And give her a light sedative... and something to wear! The ASSISTANT hits a button. A pile of clothes drops out of a trapdoor in the ceiling. She snatches up the clothes angrily and dresses quickly. Munro draws closer to the glass window. He watches her dress with undisguised pleasure. MUNRO (to Mactilburgh) This thing solid? MACTILBURGH (smiling) An elephant couldn't crack it. The Girl finishes dressing. GIRL (angrily) Teno akta chataman assin-omekta! Munro smiles safely behind his plate glass window. NOTE AT THIS POINT I AM ANTICIPATING THAT MAUNRO IS GOING TO GET
DEALT WITH BY THIS SUPER STRONG WOMAN MUNRO (with a smile) You're gonna have to learn to communicate better than that angel if you want out. Munro dangles the key on a chain that will let her out. The girl rams her fist right through the window. She grabs the key and yanks it. The chain snaps tight and Munro slams into the window knocking himself out. The girl puts her hand through the window again, unlocks the chamber and steps out. She is still bit wobbly on her legs. Two GUARDS try to grab her. She sends them flying across the room. Mactilburgh is most impressed. He sets off a general alarm. 54 INT. CORRIDOR LABORATORY The girl runs through a maze of corridors looking for a way out. A squad of SECURITY GUARDS appear in front of her and open fire without warning. The girl takes a leap, grabs an air vent, kicks it out and dives into the air shaft. The COPS try and jump up to the vent, but none can reach it.
NOTE AT THIS POINT I AM IN SUSPENSE AS TO WHETHER THE GIRL CAN ESCAPE CHIEF Get me a chair or a stepladder The rest of you go through the main ventilation! 55 INT. VENTILATION DUCT LABORATORY The girl moves along unable to see what's ahead of her. She comes to a dead-end, a grill that leads outside. She pushes it out and exits onto the ledge.
NOTE AT THIS POINT I AM IN SUSPENSE AS TO WHETHER SHE WILL LIVE OR DIE IN THIS DANGEROUS SITUATION. 56 EXT. LEDGE LABORATORY - DAWN She has exited to a ledge on the 450th floor of a building, right in the middle of Manhattan, which we discover for the first time. The city has become monstrous. Buildings rise 600 stories. Cars fly. Subways run vertically...The girl edges along the narrow ledge, unfazed by the height. The CHIEF leans out the vent, looking out into the void. CHIEF (to his men) Go on follow her! The COPS stare into the gaping void. COP ...No way. The CHIEF angrily pulls out his gun and shoots at the girl who ducks around the corner of the building. Unfortunately the other side in full of cops as well. A flying police car zooms up in front of her, sirens blaring.
NOTE AT THIS POINT I AM ROOTING FOR THE GIRL, BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY OUT,SOMEHOW I AM ANTICIPATING THAT SHE WILL DO SOMETHING EXTRAIRDUBARY. VOICE (O.S.) This in the police. Your status is illegal. Please put up your hands and follow our instructions! The girl feels trapped. She looks down into the endless 450 below and all the cars flying underneath her. Then she raises her arms... and dives off. 57 INT. POLICE CAR - NIGHT COP (in the car.) Christ! She dove off! In a panic, the COP makes a wrong turn. The girl falls for several seconds. She lands on the roof of a flying cab. 58 INT. CAB - NIGHT
NOTE AT THIS POINT WE ARE REINTRODUCED TO KORBEN WHO APPEARED EARLIER IN THE STORY, I WAS LEFT WONDERING WHAT THE CONNECTION WAS TO THE MAIN STORY. NOW THE AUDIENCE IS PRESENTED WITH HIS ROLE WHICH IS HERO/RESCUER THIS PART FEELS LIKE A HOOK. WONDERING IF A RELATIONSHIP MIGHT DEVELOP OF HE CAN/OR IS MOTIVATED TO RESCUE HER. Korben tries to control his car, reeling from the impact. VOICE (O.S.) You have just had an accident. Seven points have been temporarily removed... Korben manages to stop his cab, pulls over to the side. VOICE / KORBEN You have one point left on your license. Have a good day. Korben sighs and looks in the back seat to see what the damages are. The girl, a bit dazed (who wouldn't be), emerges from the debris and sits up. There's some blood on her face. Korben is stunned. The girl's still alive and... so beautiful. His heart heads for a meltdown. GIRL Akina delutan, nou-shan. KORBEN (lost) ...'Scuse me? A police car with wailing sirens halts in front of Korben. COP (over a loudspeaker) You have an unauthorized passenger in your vehicle. We are going to arrest her. Please leave your hands on the wheel. Thank you for your cooperation. KORBEN (obeying) Sorry, Hon, but I only got one point left on my license and I gotta get to the garage! The police car presses up against the cab. Doors slide open. Huge guns point at her. Korben feels lousy. The girl's helpless, there are tears in her eyes, she looks exhausted. Korben glances at her in the rear view mirror. She's looking all around to find something to help her communicate with him. Her POV: an ad on the back of the seat. An 800 number to help an orphanage. A teary photo of a kid over the words Please Help. She shoots to Korben a look of pure distress. GIRL (irresistible) Please... HELP... Korben can't resist her plea. KORBEN Don't put me in this position... I can't... I'm late as it is... But he cannot say no to her eyes. KORBEN Finger's gonna kill me. NOTE THE ANTICPATION AT THIS POINT CAUSED ME TO REALLY WANT KORBEN TO BEAT THE COPS. Korben shuts oft the meter and floors it, sideswiping the police car as he roars away. VOICE (O.S.) Your license has been revoked. Would you please.... Korben whips out a gun and shatters the loudspeaker. KORBEN I hate when people cry... I got no defense...
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Day 1 – Causing Anticipation – Making Your Script A “page Turner”- Assignment
Mike O – Anticipation Scene
What I learned doing this is…
1. Pick a script that fit the description of being a “Page turner.” If you don’t have access to scripts, you can go to http://www.script-o-rama.com and download as many scripts as you’d like. I have about 150 from there.
2. Select 3 to 5 pages of the script that are especially riveting and paste them into your email.
3. At the top, tell us the name of the movie and what’s happened up to this point.
4. Then go through and make NOTES about what causes that scene to be so compelling. What you’re looking for is anything that causes you to have to read farther into the script. Where do they create anticipation, suspense, curiosity, etc. We’ll go into all of these techniques later, but this is an
opportunity to prepare your mind for the tremendous learning experience to come.“The Tomorrow People” by Julia Plec
The show is just starting, don’t know what is happeneing or who the players are.
ACT ONE
ESTABLISHING: NEW YORK CITY. AN OFFICE TOWER. THINK NAKATOMI PLAZA (AKA THE DIE HARD BUILDING).
INT. OFFICE TOWER — HALLWAY – NIGHT
FORTY STORIES UP, A SHADOW slips around a corner. It’s after hours. Whoever this is, shouldn’t be here. TRACKING with him down the hall we ANGLE ON a motion detector TURNING RED.
INT. LOBBY – MOMENTS LATER
CUT TO A SECURITY GUARD at his post. Reacting to a SECURITY SCHEMATIC ON A COMPUTER. A RED LIGHT blinking.
SECURITY GUARD (INTO WALKIE)
Code up on the top floor. Standby. I better check it out.
Swapping walkie-talkie for his GUN, he EXITS.
[You have danger, a security guard with a drawn weapon after an intruder – suspense]
INT. DARK ROOM – INTERCUT
CUT TO CARA, early 20s. Her beautiful, anxious face lit by a COMPUTER with the SCHEMATIC. She’s hacked into the system.
CARA “Nice. You just tripped an alarm.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
BACK AS THE SHADOWY FIGURE steps into the light. REVEAL JOHN, late 20s, handsome, cool under pressure. We assume that he and Cara are talking VIA EARWIG.
JOHN “Whatever. I’m almost there.
As John reaches a perpendicular hallway. Right or left?
JOHN (CONT‟D) “Which way am I going?
BACK WITH CARA.
CARA )speaking to someone O.S.) “Pull up a floor plan of the tower —
CUT TO JOHN. Cara’s VOICE in his ear.
CARA (V.O.) “TIM says there’s someone in the east elevator. You gotta bail.
Service elevator’s to your left…
But John spots a sign: “Medical records” pointing RIGHT.
JOHN (glibly ignoring Cara) “Right it is…
BACK WITH CARA, pissed.
CARA “TIM says you’re an idiot…
BACK WITH JOHN, reaching the DOOR at the end of the hall. Marked MEDICAL RECORDS. Only it’s locked. And not an ordinary lock, a sophisticated electronic keypad.
CARA (CONT‟D) “Let me guess… It’s locked?
CLOSE ON JOHN as we hear his thoughts. For future reference all telepathic conversation will be in italics.
[the banter between John and Cara, they’re an item? He is not following her lead; he is a risk taker. Question: will he get caught?]
JOHN “You musta read my mind…
CLOSE ON CARA, responding telepathically… And sardonically.
CARA “I also read the mind of the guy in the elevator who’s got a gun.
BACK WITH JOHN looking over his shoulder at the ELEVATOR, uh oh.
INT. ELEVATOR – NIGHT
CUT TO THE GUARD, READYING HIS GUN. Almost to John’s floor.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
BACK WITH JOHN. BING. AS THE ELEVATOR OPENS BEHIND HIM.
He’s TRAPPED. But just as the security guard steps out… JOHN VANISHES INTO THIN AIR…
[Notes: He vanishes? Have to learn how he did that! It is beyond mysterious]
INT. MEDICAL RECORDS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS…
ONLY TO REAPPEAR ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE LOCKED DOOR. WTF?
INT. HALLWAY – INTERCUT
The guard surveys the EMPTY HALLWAY. Huh. That’s weird. He holsters his gun. Relaxing, raising his walkie-talkie…
SECURITY GUARD (into walkie talkie) “False alarm.
But when the guard turns around towards the elevator, he finds THREE SUITED MEN standing behind him. Dressed like government agents. Where the hell did they come from?
[another set of villains? Who are they, what are they doing? After John?]
SECURITY GUARD (CONT‟D) (reaching for gun) “Hold it right there…
ONLY TO FIND HIS HOLSTER EMPTY. PULL BACK from his confused expression as WE REVEAL HIS GUN FLOATING IN MID-AIR. Next to his head. Just… Levitating.
SECURITY GUARD (CONT‟D) “What the — ?
CLOSE ON THE LEAD AGENT, flanked by the other two. Staring at the levitating gun… Like he’s controlling it.
LEAD AGENT “Let me help you with that
–Before the guard can react, lead agent plucks the gun out of mid-air and CLOCKS THE GUARD in the head. He’s out cold.
BACK WITH CARA. Reacting to the live feed. She goes ashen.
CARA “Something’s wrong…
INT. MEDICAL RECORDS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
Meanwhile, we CUT TO JOHN flipping through a file cabinet. He finds what he’s looking for, a MEDICAL RECORD. Bingo.
CARA (V.O.) (get out of there) “ULTRA’s in the building…
BACK WITH JOHN. Cara’s warning comes too late. A VOICE
VOICE (O.S.) “I’ll take that file.
John slowly turns. The agents fan out. Surrounding him.
LEAD AGENT “It’s over, John…
THAT’S WHEN JOHN TURNS AND RUNS STRAIGHT TOWARDS A WALL. About to hit it when WHOOSH, HE DISAPPEARS. But these agents know the drill. Chasing John they reach the wall and VANISH.
[Notes: They know him, are after him. Part of a government agency? Will they be able to follow him?]
INT. ADJACENT OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
REAPPEARING on John’s heels. Arms pumping, John eyes two sets of FILE CABINETS. He runs between them.
ON THE AGENTS following. THE DRAWERS FLY OPEN. SMASH, TWO AGENTS GO DOWN. BUT LEAD AGENT DUCKS, SLIDING UNDER THE DRAWERS, LEAPING BACK TO HIS FEET.
John looks over his shoulder. Damn. This guy is good. He spots a nearby window. Runs towards it.
AT THE WINDOW, John gazes on the STREET… FORTY STORIES DOWN. A moment of focus before HE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARS…
EXT. STREET – CONTINUOUS
REAPPEARING ON THE STREET BELOW. Only it’s like he ran the distance. John staggers towards a SUBWAY ENTRANCE. WHEN LEAD AGENT APPEARS ON THE STREET BEHIND HIM. Still trailing.
[Notes: How did he do that? Teleportation. Can the government agents do that to?]
INT. SUBWAY STATION – MOMENTS LATER
John SPRINTS ACROSS the empty platform as a TRAIN SCREECHESINTO THE STATION. He goes to board it when the LEAD AGENT APPEARS, HAVING TELEPORTED SMACK INTO JOHN’S PATH… WITH A KICK TO THE CHEST, lead agent SENDS JOHN SPRAWLING.
HE SPOTS THE FILE, fallen from John’s hand, reaches for it…BUT JOHN SWEEPS HIS LEG. Lead agent falls, scrambling to his feet, but every time he throws a punch, John VANISHES, REAPPEARING on the opposite side with a BLIND-SIDING PUNCH.WHIFF, WHIFF, WHIFF… The agent can’t connect to John who DELIVERS A FLURRY OF BLOWS, THEN DROPS HIM.
John quickly grabs the file, slips on the train as the doors close.
[Notes: John wins the confrontation, escapes on subway train]
INT. SUBWAY TRAIN – MOMENTS LATER
John looks around, making sure the train car is empty. The train enters a tunnel. And he VANISHES…
INT. SUBWAY STATION – CONTINUOUS
REAPPEARING inside an ABANDONED SUBWAY STATION. John nearly collapses. CARA approaches. We see her computer set-up in the background. We’re in some sort of secret base.
JOHN “They must have been following me.
CARA “You sure you lost them?
John checks out his bloody knuckles. Then cocky…
JOHN “Yeah. Pretty sure.
CARA “I hope this one was worth it. (re: file) That he is who you think he is.
JOHN “Only way to know for sure is to break him out…
CARA “So, what’s his name?
John opens the FILE. ANGLE ON name JOHN Stephen Jameson.
[Notes: who is Stephen and why go through all that trouble for a stranger? Who is he?]
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