• Denice Lewis

    Member
    October 11, 2021 at 11:20 pm

    Denice’s Funny Scene!

    What I learned doing this assignment is that if you set up the characters, situations, and incongruity well, you have a funny scene.

    SCENE FROM GALAXY QUEST:

    EVERYTHING IS INCONGRUENT BECAUSE JASON THINKS THIS IS A TRYOUT FOR A PART. INSTEAD REAL ALIENS NEED HELP AND THINK HE’S REALLY A COMMANDER. THEY’VE TAKEN HIM TO THEIR SHIP, BUT HE WAS SLEEPING AND MISSED KNOWING WHERE HE IS AND HOW HE GOT THERE. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MAKES THIS WORK SO WELL IS THAT THE ALIENS ARE IN DISGUISE AND LOOK LIKE HUMANS. ALMOST EVERY ACTION AND LINE OF DIALOGUE IS FUNNY.

    22 INT. HALLWAY – THE PROTECTOR II

    Laliari escorts Jason down the high tech hallway. Jason looks

    around, still holding his can of Coke.

    LALIARI

    SETUP OF REAL DANGER. INCONGRUENT WITH HIS LAID-BACK ATTITUDE.

    Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline. We are approaching his ship

    at the Ni-delta now. He wants an answer to his proposal. I

    understand you have been briefed.

    JASON

    Yeah, I got most of it in the car. He’s the bad guy, right?

    LALIARI

    Yes sir he is a very bad man indeed. He has tortured our

    scientists, put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines,

    captured our females for his own demented purposes…

    JASON

    FUNNY, BECAUSE HE HAS NO REACTION TO HER LITANY OF TORTURE.

    Okay I’ve got the picture. You have pages or do you want me to

    just go for it?

    LALIARI

    MISUNDERSTANDING OF ‘PAGES’ MAKES IT FUNNY.

    I m not sure I…

    JASON (cont’d)

    Script pages. Never mind, let’s see what old Sarris has to say

    for himself.

    Mathesar approaches with other CREWMEMBERS.

    4/26/99 (PINK)

    MATHESAR

    Commander… Welcome to the Protector II. Would you like to don

    your uniform?

    JASON

    HE HAS NO CLUE. FLIPPANT ATTITUDE IS FUNNY UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. Mind If we skip that? I have to get back pretty quick for this

    thing in Van Nuys.

    MATHESAR

    As you wish.

    Another ALIEN comes running up out of breath.

    EXCITED ALIEN Sir… It’s Sarris. He’s here.

    23 INT. COMMAND DECK

    INCONGRUENT BECAUSE THE SHIP IS AN EXACT REPLICA OF THE TV SET AND THAT’S WHAT JASON THINKS HE’S ON – A SET.

    A door slides OPEN and Jason and the others enter the COMMAND

    DECK…. It’s straight out of the TV show. Blinking lights,

    consoles, the cool old tech displays… But a bit dark. Jason

    looks around, genuinely impressed, still wearing his glasses.

    JASON

    FUNNY

    Not bad. Usually it’s painted cardboard boxes in a garage.

    They lead him to the Commander’s chair. He sits.

    TEB

    Sir, we apologize for operating in low power mode, but we are

    experiencing a reflective flux field this close to the galactic

    axis.

    JASON

    HIS WHOLE ATTITUDE IN ALL OF HIS DIALOGUE IS FUNNY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING. IT ALSO SHOWS ONE OF HIS MAIN TRAITS, HOW SELFISH HE IS.

    No problem. This thing have a cup holder?

    EXCITED ALIEN

    (hands Jason a clipboard)

    The situational analysis, Commander.

    JASON

    FUNNY, THINKS ALIEN WANTS AN AUTOGRAPH. What’s your name?

    EXCITED ALIEN

    (perplexed)

    …Glath sir.

    Jason signs his autograph and hands it back. “There you go.”

    NAVIGATOR

    We’re approaching in five ticks, sir. Command to slow?

    Jason looks toward the front window/view screen. Stars move past

    in a familiar display.

    JASON

    Sure, set the screen saver on two.

    EVERYTHING IN THIS SCENE IS FUNNY BECAUSE OF THE MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE ALIENS AND JASON’S ATTITUDE ABOUT THEIR LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION

    (the NAVIGATOR looks confused)

    Sorry. Sorry. Didn’t mean to break the mood. Slow to Mark 2,

    lieutenant.

    AGAIN FUNNY BECAUSE THE CORRECT DIRECTIONS THE ALIEN UNDERSTANDS ARE THE SAME AS ON THE TV SHOW.

    A SHIP appears on the screen, growing closer. It is a MENACING

    craft, sharp and jagged, with a gargoyle shaped figurehead. Then

    the VIEWSCREEN fuzzes to life with an image of… SARRIS – He’s

    ugly and green hued. Black sharp teeth. A metal hand… He

    hisses… There is a beat as the aliens take in the sight, trying

    to well their courage.

    SARRIS

    HE IS TERRIFYING AND JASON HAS NO REACTION. VERY FUNNY.

    I see fear. That is expected.

    (his voice RESONATES)

    Ah, they bring a new Commander… Such a cowardly species. Not

    even your own kind… No matter. Here are my demands, and I

    would suggest, Commander, that you think well before speaking a

    word, because these negotiations are… tender.. and if I do not

    like what I hear there will be blood and pain as you cannot

    imagine…

    Jason takes a sip of coke and checks his watch.

    SARRIS

    First, I require the Omega 13… Second-

    JASON

    NO EMOTION MAKES FOR MORE INCONGRUENCY

    (blasé, like a laundry list)

    Okey dokey, let’s fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red

    particle cannons full. Fire gannet magnets left and right. Fire

    pulse catapults from all chutes. And throw this thing at him too,

    killer.

    He hands the GUNNER the empty coke can, then before even waiting

    for the weapons to reach their target… …he exits!

    HIS SCENE IS DONE. HE’S READY TO GO. BEING CLUELESS MAKES IT FUNNY.

    24 HALLWAY

    Jason emerges and looks both ways trying to get his bearings.

    Several of the aliens chase after him as he enters the

    4/26/99 (PINK)

    corridor, exchanging stunned dances, trying to absorb the

    magnitude of what just happened.

    MATHESAR

    Commander?… Where are you… going?

    JASON

    Home.

    MATHESAR

    You… You mean Earth?

    JASON

    Yeah. “Earth.” Time to get back to “Earth,” kids.

    HIS OBLIVION AND LACK OF ATTENTION IS INCONGRUENT, BUT FITS WITH JASON’S WHOLE ATTITUDE IN THIS SCENE

    He turns a corner. Jason is oblivious to the muffled sounds of explosions, traces of the demolition going on outside.

    MATHESAR

    But Commander… The negotiation… You… You… You fired on

    him.

    JASON

    Right. Long live… What’s your planet?

    MATHESAR

    Theramin.

    JASON

    Long live Theramini. Take a left here?

    MATHESAR

    But what if Sarris survives?

    JASON

    Oh, I don’t think so. I gave him both barrels.

    MATHESAR

    He has a very powerful ship. Perhaps you would like to wait to

    see the results of-

    JASON

    INCONGRUENCE: HIS TRY-OUT IS OVER. HE’S GOT OTHER THINGS TO DO THAN SAVE A RACE OF PEOPLE

    I would but I am REALLY running late and the 134’s a parking lot

    after 2:00. But listen, the guy gives you any more trouble, just

    give a call…

    Mathesar produces a walkie talkie device for Jason.

    MATHESAR

    An interstellar vox.

    4/26/99 (PINK)

    JASON

    Thanks.

    Mathesar looks him in the eye. A TEAR starts down his cheek. He

    HUGS Jason, then shakes his hand sincerely.

    MATHESAR

    How can we thank you, Commander. You- You have saved our people.

    JASON

    HAVING NO CLUE MAKES IT FUNNY. ALSO NO EMOTIONAL REACTION TO MATHESAR’S TEARS.

    It was a lot of fun. You kids are great.

    The others shake his hand, thanking him as they enter the…

    25 INTERSTELLAR POD ROOM

    A room with a very high circular ceiling. The aliens continue

    thanking Jason as they lead him to the center of the room. Jason

    realizes he’s left all alone in this strange room with no visible

    doors. Jason is suddenly aware that he is standing on a GLOWING

    RED DISK.

    JASON

    PUNCHLINE DIALOGUE

    Wait. Where’s the car?

    PUNCHLINE ACTION

    Suddenly a CLEAR CYLINDER rises from the disk and conforms around

    him, ENCASING~ HIM IN A CLEAR BULLET SHAPED CONTAINER. There is

    only an instant to register surprise as the ceiling divides and

    an AWE INDUCING ROTATING STARFIELD is revealed… The WALLS pull

    back around him. And Jason finds himself surrounded by THE

    INFINITE VASTNESS OF SPACE. And his face is a MASK OF HORROR In

    the split instant as Jason in his pod is ROCKETED FORWARD INTO

    SPACE.

    26 BLACK – [JASON’S YARD]

    HILARIOUS AS HE GETS WHAT HE DESERVES FOR BEING SO UNAWARE.

    We pull back slowly from the iris of Jason’s eye. He is now

    standing on the red disk in the middle of his own back yard. He

    stands there in shock, TEETH CHATTERING, SHIVERING IN WAVES AND

    WAVES from the incomprehension of what he’s just experienced,

    unable to move from the snot.

  • Ira Drower

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 3:29 pm

    Ira Drower – Funny scenes from the movie Night Shift

    Night Shift – starring Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton

    What I learned from this lesson was comedy is about incongruities in logic. The bigger the incongruity, or gap, between what might be a normal response and what is said is what delivers big laughs.

    I chose the movie Night Shift because Henry Winkler’s stiff character plays so well against Michael Keaton’s manic idea-man persona it delivers laughs throughout the film.

    I selected several scenes demonstrating this. At times it almost sounds like a Stand-Up routine but that’s the comic approach used here.

    I specified set-up and pay-off below. These clearly show the incongruity in the scene.

    Why do you listen to my mother?

    This is the same woman…

    …who goes to a seance every (set-up)

    Friday night since my father died…

    …just so she can still yell at him. (payoff)

    You want to know why

    I carry this tape recorder?

    It’s to tape things.

    See…

    …I’m an idea man, Chuck.

    All right?

    I get ideas all day.

    I can’t control them.

    It’s like they come charging in.

    I can’t even fight them

    if I wanted to.

    So I say them in here.

    That way, I never forget them.

    Okay, here’s an example.

    Watch out. Stand back.

    This is Bill.

    Idea to eliminate garbage. (set-up)

    Edible paper. (pay-off)

    Eat it, it’s gone.

    Eat it, it’s out of there.

    No garbage.

    I got everything in here.

    Business ideas, inventions.

    She sells cowboy hats. (Set-up)

    The man was in his underwear.

    And cowboy underwear. (pay-off)

    Belinda! Come on, darling.

    Haul it in here, now.

    I’ll be right in.

    I’ve got to go.

    We’ll keep it down.

    I think I should go home.

    Why? They said they’ll keep it down.

    When did you get dressed?

    It wasn’t going to be any good

    tonight anyway. I feel so guilty!

    I cheated today. (set-up)

    – You’re kidding.

    – I had a Nestle’s Crunch bar. (pay-off)

    Food.

    I feel like dirt. (pay-off)

    This weekend,

    I go to Atlantic City…

    …and I do nothing but play blackjack

    straight through.

    I won’t even get a room, (set-up)

    I’ll just get those Wash ‘N Drys. (pay-off)

    You know? Did I tell you

    I thought of them first? (set-up)

    Only they already had them. (pay-off)

    Twenty-one.

    Wait a minute.

    Hold the phone.

    I got it!

    Oh, you’re going to cure cancer.

    Tuna fish. (set-up)

    What if you mix…

    …mayonnaise in the can

    with the tuna? (pay-off)

    Hold it!

    Hold it! Wait a minute!

    Take live tuna fish…

    …and feed them mayonnaise. (pay-off)

    This is good.

    Call StarKist. (pay-off)

    This is great!

    Can I help you?

    Yes, I’m looking

    for a Mr. Blazejowski.

    I’m Jefferey Durkin.

    You sure are.

    How you doing, Jeff?

    You got money for me?

    Some cash? Some do-re-mi?

    – 20 bucks, right?

    – 20 bucks. Thanks.

    Wait outside while

    I’m getting the car.

    – Sure.

    – All right, there you go.

    Nice tux!

    Good fit!

    I don’t want to be a buttinksy,

    but what exactly is going on?

    Some kind of debutante ball.

    Kid wants me to take him and his girl.

    You’re taking one of

    the morgue vehicles?

    It’s a limo, ain’t it?

    It’s a limo for dead people. (set-up)

    Did you see that kid? (pay-off)

    Wait. Are you telling me…

    …that every night you leave,

    this is what you do?

    There isn’t a debutante ball

    every night. (set-up)

    I do weddings, bar mitzvahs

    or just cruise the airport. (pay-off)

    I picked up these Japanese guys.

    $400 from the airport to the U.N.

    You’re ripping off diplomats!

    Here.

    It’s $100.

    What is this for?

    Okay, big-time, let’s roll!

    Rock and roll!

    What happens if we get a call?

    If you have to go

    and pick up a body or….

    I’ll be back.

    By the time I get there,

    they won’t be dead anymore?

    Hey, kid.

    Do you like music? (set-up)

    – Sure!

    – Good.

    Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas-gas-gas (pay-off)

    Michael Keaton sings

  • Mary Spiers

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 3:55 pm

    Mary’s Funny Scene

    What I learned doing this assignment is that making expected cultural references incongruent is something I think is funny. I also liked the making of time travel references that interacted with the character’s personality as a kvetcher.

    This is from the Movie Sleeper (1973)

    One thing that is funny is the set-up of the current (1973) cultural references to health food, etc are turned on their head, and now, in the future, all those things are bad for you, and deep fat, hot fudge, etc. is now good.

    This was taken from a transcript…it’s not in screenplay format

    He’s fully recovered…
    except for a few minor kinks.

    – Has he asked for anything special?
    – Yes. This morning for breakfast.

    He requested something called wheat
    germ, organic honey and tiger’s milk.

    Those are the charmed substances once
    felt to contain life-preserving properties.

    You mean there was no deep fat?

    No steak or cream pies or hot fudge?

    Those were thought to be unhealthy… the
    opposite of what we now know to be true.

    Incredible.

    The other thing that is funny is Miles’ kvetching about the operation and his situation as he tries to get his head around the fact he’s woken up in the future. He also makes another payoff reference to the idea that everything that was good for you is now bad.

    Ex: To me, a miracle is I go in
    for a minor operation,

    I come out the next day,
    my rent isn’t 2,000 months overdue.

    Ex. And where am I, anyhow? What happened
    to everybody? Where are all my friends?

    Understand that everyone you knew in
    the past has been dead nearly 200 years.

    But they all ate organic rice.

    Then the writer puts it all together..

    It was too good to be true.
    I parked right near the hospital.

    Here. Smoke this. Be sure you get
    the smoke deep into your lungs.

    – I don’t smoke.
    – It’s tobacco.

    It’s one of the healthiest things for you.
    Now, go ahead.

    You need all the strength you can get.

  • Bradford Hicks

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 5:15 pm

    BRAD’S FUNNY SCENE (The golf course scene from Sideways)

    What I learned from this assignment is that it’s all about incongruity!

    SET UP

    The door bursts open, and Jack comes bounding in.

    JACK

    Come on, dude. Let’s go golfing! I

    got us in at Alisal.

    Miles comes to, very hungover.

    MILES

    INCONGRUITY That’s a public course.

    (then –)

    SET UP No Stephanie?

    JACK

    She’s working. I need a break anyway.

    INCONGRUITY She’s getting a little clingy.

    (magnanimous)

    This is our day!

    EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY

    SET UP WHACK! Jack TEES OFF with a manly athletic swing and shades

    his eyes to watch the ball’s trajectory.

    JACK

    Crap.

    Miles, disheveled and sullen, approaches the teebox, sticks

    a tee in the ground and sets his ball.

    JACK

    Did you ever got ahold of Maya

    yesterday?

    MILES

    Nope.

    JACK

    She likes you, man. Stephanie’ll

    tell you.

    MILES

    (preparing to swing)

    Can you give me some room here?

    JACK

    (stepping back)

    Oh yeah. Sure.

    Miles lifts his club.

    JACK

    You know, in life you gotta strike

    when the iron’s hot.

    MILES

    Thanks, Jack.

    Miles refocuses and SWINGS just as Jack offers more helpful

    advice.

    JACK

    Don’t whiff it.

    WHACK! Despite the distraction, Miles manages to make a good,

    long drive.

    JACK

    Nice shot.

    MILES

    INCONGRUITY You’re an asshole.

    NOW ON THE FAIRWAY —

    SET UP Jack is pouring two Dixie cups of wine as Miles prepares to

    take his next swing.

    JACK

    What about your agent? Hear anything

    yet?

    MILES

    Nope.

    JACK

    What do you think’s going on?

    MILES

    Could be anything.

    JACK

    Been checking your messages?

    MILES

    INCONGRUITY Obsessively.

    JACK

    Huh.

    MILES

    They probably think my book is such

    a piece of shit that it’s not even

    worthy of a response. I guess I’ll

    just have to learn how to kiss off

    three years of my life.

    JACK

    But you don’t know yet, so your

    negativity’s a bit premature, wouldn’t

    you say?

    Miles says nothing.

    JACK

    Or fuck those New York publishers.

    Publish it yourself. I’ll chip in.

    Just get it out there, get it

    reviewed, get it in libraries. Let

    the public decide.

    SET UP Giving Jack a look that says Jack has no idea what he’s

    talking about, Miles takes a stance over the ball and focuses.

    JACK

    Don’t come over the top. Stay still.

    MILES

    Shut up.

    JACK

    Just trying to be helpful.

    (a moment later)

    It’s all about stillness, Miles.

    Inner quiet.

    Miles drops his club and turns to Jack.

    MILES

    INCONGRUITY Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! What’s

    the matter with you, man? SHUT UP!

    JACK

    Why are you so hostile? I know you’re

    frustrated with your life right now,

    but you can choose not to be so

    hostile.

    (holding out a cup of

    wine)

    Here.

    Still fuming, Miles begrudgingly accepts the wine and has a

    taste. He’s immediately distracted from his woes.

    MILES

    What is it?

    JACK

    I don’t know. Got it from Stephanie.

    Miles downs the rest and is intrigued by the taste.

    MILES

    Huh. Let me see the label.

    SET UP Suddenly a golfball THUDS against the hard fairway directly

    behind them.

    JACK

    (whirling around)

    What the fuck?

    Way back on the tee box, some 200 yards away, are a FOURSOME

    of two couples. One of the MEN is waving his driver.

    HUSBAND #1

    (shouting, barely

    audible)

    Hurry it up, will you?

    Jack looks at Miles, the two incredulous.

    MILES

    Fucker hit into us.

    JACK

    (yelling)

    Hey, asshole! That’s not cool!

    MILES

    Throw me his ball.

    INCONGRUITY Jack walks over, picks up the offending ball and tosses it

    to Miles. Miles gets out his 3-wood and — THWOCK! — cuts

    it back low and hard.

    JACK

    Nice shot.

    THE COUPLES

    duck for cover as the ball whistles over their heads.

    JACK AND MILES

    laugh hard.

    SET UP THE TWO HUSBANDS

    climb in their CART and hasten down the fairway toward Jack

    and Miles.

    JACK

    watches their approach, grinning.

    JACK

    Oh, this is going to be fun.

    (jerking a driver

    from his bag)

    This is going to be fun.

    Jack heads in their direction, brandishing the club like a

    medieval knight with a mace.

    As the husbands get a look at this sight, they turn their

    cart around and speed back toward their wives.

    JACK

    Hit into us again, motherfuckers,

    INCONGRUITY and I’ll ass-rape all four of you!

    EXT. GOLF COURSE CLUBHOUSE – DAY

    SET UP ack and Miles are turning in their cart and hoisting their

    clubs over their shoulders.

    JACK

    Just don’t give up on Maya. Cool

    smart chicks like that –they like

    persistence.

    MILES

    I don’t want to talk about it.

    JACK

    All I know is she’s beautiful. Lots

    of soul. Perfect for you. I’m not

    going to feel good about this trip

    until you guys hook up. Don’t you

    just want to feel that cozy little

    box grip down on your Johnson?

    Nearby a GOLFER is with his YOUNG SON.

    GOLFER

    INCONGRUITY Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?

  • Janeen Johnson

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 5:31 pm

    Janeen’s Funny Scene

    What I learned from this assignment is that stacking comedy in places keeps the audience rolling. Breaks are needed after 3-4 stacks.

    I chose an excerpt from Guardians of the Galaxy II where the team is escaping (yet again). I chose a crew-only scene because they are generally non-stop laughs.

    I/E. MILANO FLIGHT DECK – MOMENTS LATER

    Gamora MOVES UP from the stairs. Rocket and Quill are in the pilot seats. Drax is moving up from the back.

    QUILL

    We got an armed Sovereign fleet, approaching from the rear.

    Gamora takes the center seat, sees a REARVIEW SCAN:

    Golden, capsule-shaped, Sovereign OMNICRAFT, with a video screen on front and a blaster on each side – getting closer.

    SETUP

    GAMORA

    Why would they do that?!

    PAYOFF — UNEXPECTED RESPONSE

    DRAX

    Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.

    Quill and Gamora look at Rocket, astounded. Rocket gawks at Drax, betrayed.

    SETUP FOR THE NEXT COMEBACK

    ROCKET

    Dude.

    PAYOFF — SARCASM

    DRAX

    Oh, right. He didn’t steal one of those. I don’t know why they’re after us. What a mystery this is.

    THE SOVEREIGN FIRE UPON THE MILANO.

    Quill does his best to evade their blasts.

    SETUP

    QUILL

    What were you thinking?!

    PAYOFF — UNEXPECTED HONESTY/INCONGRUITY

    ROCKET

    Dude, it was really easy to steal.

    SETUP

    GAMORA

    That’s your defense?

    PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED

    ROCKET

    Come on. You saw how that high-priestess talked down to us! I’m teaching her a lesson!

    PAYOFF – SARCASM

    QUILL

    Oh! I didn’t realize your motivation was altruism. A shame the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions and are trying to kill us.

    PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED HONESTY/SINCERITY

    ROCKET

    Exactly.

    SETUP

    QUILL I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!

    PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED SINCERITY

    ROCKET

    Oh no! You tricked me! You’re supposed to use a sarcastic voice!

    Now I look foolish!

    Drax points at Rocket and LAUGHS at him.

    QUILL

    SHUT UP, DRAX! You knew! You should have told us!

    Drax is aghast. He looks at Rocket.

    DRAX

    Did you tell him it was easy to steal?

    ROCKET

    Are you kidding me?

    DRAX

    What?

    ROCKET

    You never listen to anything!

    PAYOFF — SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO AUDIENCE (IN A WAY)

    GAMORA

    None of you listens! Can we please just put the bickering on hold until after we survive the massive space battle?!

    Rocket glances at Quill, nodding back at Gamora.

    SETUP

    ROCKET

    Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

    PAYOFF – INCONGRUITY

    QUILL

    Do not try to bro down with me right now, dude. I will tricking punch you in your fricking face.

    PAYOFF – SARCASM

    ROCKET

    Real nice! Resorting to violence.

    QUILL

    More incoming!

    MORE SHIPS FLY AT THEM from the front.

    ROCKET

    Good! I want to kill some guys!

    They twist and turn between the oncoming ships as ROCKET FIRES AT THEM, SCREAMING. They EXPLODE.

    On the front of the Sovereign ships is the VIDEO IMAGE OF A

    PILOT.

    SOVEREIGN PILOT (ON SHIP)

    Bloody hell!

  • Amanda Avalon

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 6:50 pm

    AMANDA AVALON

    What I learned from this assignment is that comedy is more showing/doing than dialogue.

    IT'S COMPLICATED by Nancy Meyers

    INT. JANE’S BEDROOM – WIDE – SAME TIME

    Jake pokes his head in, looks around, sees no one in the
    room. He hears Jane in the bathroom and ENTERS quietly,
    quickly squirms out of his boxers and T-shirt, then, DROPS * HIS ROBE, and lies on his side, on the bed, completely NUDE — elbow up, palm supporting his head — a smile on his face. He changes his smile to a smoulder.

    Jake hears water running. Suddenly modest, he quickly drags over the open Laptop and places the open screen in front of <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>his privates. He smiles, ready to be discovered.

    JANE dries her hands at the bathroom sink.

    INT. ADAM’S BEDROOM – SAME TIME
    Adam crosses through the room on his way to his laptop.

    JANE ENTERS HER BEDROOM, SEES JAKE and lets out a SCREAM.

    Simultaneously, ADAM PLOPS DOWN IN HIS DESK CHAIR, LOOKS AT <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>HIS SCREEN and instantly YANKS HIMSELF AWAY in disgust.

    ADAM

    Mother of —

    (looks again)

    Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

    Jake LOOKS DOWN AT THE SCREEN, SEES ADAM’S SCREAMING FACE <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AND SCREAMS BACK.

    JANE

    What are you doing in here?!!!

    ADAM

    (covering the screen with

    his hands)

    Get it off!!!

    JAKE

    (covering himself)

    I wanted to see you.

    JANE

    Why are you naked!?!

    JAKE

    (sits up straight, the lap <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>top shooting <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>even <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>more <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>directly at his groin)

    Why do you think?

    ADAM

    Okay, I’m gonna be sick.

    Jake LEANS IN, covers Adam’s eyes on the screen, which, of course, does nothing.

    ADAM

    Not working! Big close up!

    Jake rises, now his ass gets the close up, he bends over to <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>get his robe.

    ADAM

    Okay! Good night!

    Jake SPINS THE LAPTOP and the ISIGHT LENS LANDS ON JANE.

    Jane and Adam look at one another. No time to say anything.

    She’s desperate. He’s lost.

    The DOOR FLIES OPEN, the KIDS RUSH IN, just as Jake ties his robe.

    GABBY

    Everybody okay?

    No one says anything.

    LAUREN

    What’s happening?

    Adam listens, his eyes on Jane. Jake crosses to Jane, facing

    the Kids. He walks in and out of the iSight shot.

    JAKE

    Okay. Let me explain. The reason I left Agness wasn’t just because my marriage wasn’t working.

    (The Kids wait…)

    I’ve also fallen in love…back in love… with your mother. Or maybe I never stopped loving her.

    GABBY

    Is this a joke?

    JAKE

    I know this is shocking, but I think this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Your Mom and I have been seeing each other, on the side… ever since New York.

    LAUREN

    Mom, is this true?

    JANE (dying)

    That part is, but…

    JAKE

    I found my way back home. I just hope she’ll take me back.

  • A. Ward

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 11:10 pm

    Anthony Ward- Funny Scene

    What I learned from this assignment is incongruity plays a large role in comedy. I may not fully understand it but I do have a deeper understanding of how it is used.

    INT. SERGEANT’S GEEICE – DAY

    ANGEL sits opposite a jovial SERGEANT of the same age.

    SERGEANT

    Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand? (Setup)

    ANGEL

    Still a bit stiff.

    SEEGEANT

    Hardly fitting for such a good boy.

    ANGEL

    I’m sorry Sergeant?

    SERGEANT

    Getting stabbed by Santa.

    (Punchline)

    ANGEL Right.

    SERGEANT

    It can get awfully hairy out there.

    I’m surprised you hadn’t been

    snapped up into a nice desk job

    before. That’s what I did.

    ANGEL

    I know sergeant. I prefer to think

    my office is out on the street.

    SERGEANT

    Indeed you do. Your arrest record

    is 460% higher than any other

    officer. And your paperwork is

    really quite exemplary. You do like

    to cross the ’I’s and dot the ’T’s.

    (Setup)

    3.

    ANGEL

    Dot the ’I’s and cross the ’T’s.

    (Incongruent)

    SERGEANT

    Exactly. And that’s why it’s high

    time such skills were put to better

    use. We’re making you Sergeant.

    ANGEL I see.

    (Setup)

    SERGEANT

    (mumbles)

    In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

    (Punchline)

    ANGEL

    In where sorry?

    SERGEANT

    In Sandford, Gloucestershire.

    ANGEL

    That’s in the country.

    SERGEANT

    Yes, lovely.

    ANGEL

    That’s miles away.

    Lovely.

    SERGEANT

    ANGEL

    Is there not a Sergeant’s position

    in London?

    No.

    SERGEANT

    ANGEL

    Well, can I just stay here as a

    Noooo.

    P.C.?

    Nooo.

    Do I have any choice in this?

    SERGEANT

    ANGEL

    SERGEANT

    4.

    ANGEL

    But, I like it here.

    SERGEANT

    You always said you wanted to

    transfer to the country.

    (Setup)

    ANGEL

    In twenty years time maybe.

    (Incongruent)

    SERGEANT

    Well done you.

    ANGEL

    Hang on – I don’t actually remember

    telling you that.

    SERGEANT

    Yes you did, you said”

    (slyly looks at notes)

    “I’d love to settle down in the

    country sometime Janine”.

    (Punchline)

    ANGEL

    I’d like to talk to the Inspector.

    (Setup)

    SERGEANT

    Hey, fine. You can talk to the

    Inspector, but I promise he’ll say

    the same thing as me.

    INT. SERGEANT’S OFFICE – DAY

    An equally jovial INSPECTOR sits alongside the SERGEANT.

    INSPECTOR

    Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand?

    (Punchline)

    ANGEL

    Still a bit stiff.

    INSPECTOR

    How are things at home?

    ANGEL

    I’m sorry sir?

    INSPECTOR

    How’s Janine?

    5.

    ANGEL

    We’re no longer together sir-

    (Setup)

    INSEECTQR

    So where are you living now?

    SERGEANT

    He’s in the Section House sir.

    INSPECTOR

    With all the recruits?

    ANGEL

    Temporarily yes, but-

    INSPECTOR

    Well, we must get you out of there.

    SERGEANT

    Yes, he’s living out of cardboard

    boxes.

    INSPECTOR

    Well, then you’re already packed.

    Nicholas, we’re offering you a

    smashing position and a delightful

    cottage in a lovely little place

    that’s been voted ’Village of the

    Year’ I don’t know how many times.

    It’ll be good for you.

    (Punchline)

    SERGEANT

    We’re only asking you to go for

    nine months.

    ANGEL

    Nine months!?

    A year.

    INSPECTOR

    SERGEANT

    Two years tops.

    ANGEL

    I really don’t know what to say-

    INSPECTOR

    Just say yes.

    SERGEANT

    Just say yes, thank you.

    6.

    ANGEL

    No, I’m sorry sir, I want to-

    INSPECTOR

    -take this higher?

    (Setup)

    ANGEL

    Yes. Yes I do.

    INSPECTOR

    You want me to bother the Chief

    Inspector with this?

    ANGEL

    Yes I do.

    INSPECTOR

    You want me to get the Chief

    Inspector to come all the way down

    here?

    Yes.

    ANGEL

    INSPECTOR

    Okay. Kenneth?

    The jovial CHIEF INSPECTOR (50’s) enters. ANGEL stands.

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand?

    (Punchline)

    INSPECTOR & SERGEANT

    Still a bit stiff.

    ANGEL

    Chief Inspector-

    CEIEF INSPECTOR

    Keep your seat. Now, I know what

    you’re going to say, but the fact

    is, you’re making us all look bad.

    ANGEL

    I’m sorry sir?

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    Of course we all appreciate your

    efforts, but you’re rather letting

    the side down.

    (Setup)

    7.

    ANGEL

    But, my record is 406% higher than

    everyone else.

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    Exactly…

    (Incongruent)

    ANGEL

    I’m not sure I-

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    Sometimes you’ve just got to sail

    the middle path.

    INSPECTOR

    It’s all about being a team player,

    Nicholas.

    SERGEANT

    You can’t be the Sheriff of London.

    (Incongruent)

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    If we let you carry on running

    around town, you’ll just continue

    to be exceptional and we can’t have

    that. You’ll put us all out of a

    job.

    ANGEL

    With the greatest respect, sir. You

    can’t just make people disappear.

    (Setup)

    CHIEF INSPECTOR

    Yes I can. I’m the Chief Inspector.

    (Punchline)

    INSPECTOR

    No one’s disappearing, Sergeant.

    ANGEL

    However you spin this, there’s one

    thing you haven’t counted on. And

    that’s what the ’team’ are going to

    make of this.

    (Setup)

    ANGEL exits the office and is greeted by every officer in

    the force, clasping plastic glasses. A makeshift sign made

    from colour photocopied sheets reads ’GOOD LUCK NICHOLAS’.

    (Punchline)

  • James Peacock

    Member
    October 12, 2021 at 11:30 pm

    Jim Peacock’s funny scene

    What I learned – what funny is!

    My curiosity was piqued by the use of Notting Hill in the lesson

     INT. THE BOOKSHOP - DAY
    
      It is a small shop, slightly chaotic, bookshelves everywhere,
      with little secret bits round corners with even more books.
      Martin, William's sole employee, is waiting enthusiastically.
      He is very keen, an uncrushable optimist.  Perhaps without
      cause.  A few seconds later, William stands gloomily behind the
      desk.
    Even the descriptions are incongruous
            WILLIAM
        Classic.  Absolutely classic.
        Profit from major sales push -- minus
        $B!r(J347.
    
            MARTIN
        Shall I go get a cappuccino?  Ease the
        pain.
    
            WILLIAM
        Yes, better get me a half.  All I can
        afford.
    Funny because of the many obsolete book purchases (typical) he can't afford a cappuccinol
            MARIN
        I get your logic.  Demi-capu coming up.
    
      He salutes and bolts out the door -- as he does, a woman walks in.
      We only just glimpse her.
    
      Cut to William working.  He looks up casually.  And sees
      something.  His reaction is hard to read.  After a pause...
    
            WILLIAM
        Can I help you?
    
      It is Anna Scott, the biggest movie star in the world -- here --
      in his shop.  The most divine, subtle, beautiful woman on earth.
      When she speaks she is very self-assured and self-contained.
    
            ANNA
        No, thanks.  I'll just look around.
    
            WILLIAM
        Fine.
    
      She wanders over to a shelf as he watches her -- and picks out a
      quite smart coffee table book.
    
            WILLIAM
        That book's really not good -- just
        in case, you know, browsing turned to
        buying.  You'd be wasting your money.
    
            ANNA
        Really?
    
            WILLIAM
        Yes.  This one though is... very
        good.
    
      He picks up a book on the counter.
    
            WILLIAM
        I think the man who wrote it has
        actually been to Turkey, which helps.
        There's also a very amusing incident
        with a kebab.
    
            ANNA
        Thanks.  I'll think about it.
    
      William suddenly spies something odd on the small TV monitor
      beside him.
    
            WILLIAM
        If you could just give me a second.
    
      Her eyes follow him as he moves toward the back of the shop and
      approaches a man in slightly ill-fitting clothes.
    
            WILLIAM
        Excuse me.
    
            THIEF
        Yes.
    
            WILLIAM
        Bad news.
    
            THIEF
        What?
    
            WILLIAM
        We've got a security camera in this
        bit of the shop.
    
            THIEF
        So?
    
            WILLIAM
        So, I saw you put that book down your
        trousers.
    
            THIEF
        What book?
    
            WILLIAM
        The one down your trousers.
    
            THIEF
        I haven't got a book down my trousers.
    
            WILLIAM
        Right -- well, then we have something
        of an impasse.  I tell you what --
        I'll call the police -- and,  what can
        I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole
        book-down-the-trousers scenario, I
        really apologize.
    
            THIEF
        Okay -- what if I did have a book down
        my trousers?
    
            WILLIAM
        Well, ideally, when I went back to
        the desk, you'd remove the Cadogan
        guide to Bali from your trousers, and
        either wipe it and put it back, or
        buy it.  See you in a sec.
    
      He returns to his desk.  In the monitor we just glimpse, as does
      William, the book coming out of the trousers and put back on the
      shelves.  The thief drifts out towards the door.  Anna, who has
      observed all this, is looking at a blue book on the counter.
    
            WILLIAM
        Sorry about that...
    
            ANNA
        No, that's fine.  I was going to
        steal one myself but now I've changed
        my mind.  Signed by the author, I see.
    
            WILLIAM
        Yes, we couldn't stop him.  If you
        can find an unsigned copy, it's
        worth an absolute fortune.
    
      She smiles.  Suddenly the thief is there.
    
            THIEF
        Excuse me.
    
            ANNA
        Yes.
    
            THIEF
        Can I have your autograph?
    
            ANNA
        What's your name?
    
            THIEF
        Rufus.
    
      She signs his scruffy piece of paper.  He tries to read it.
    
            THIEF
        What does it say?
    
            ANNA
        Well, that's the signature -- and
        above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you
        belong in jail.'
    
            THIEF
        Nice one.  Would you like my phone
        number?
    
            ANNA
        Tempting but... no, thank you.
    
      Thief leaves.
    
            ANNA
        I think I will try this one.
    
      She hands William a $B!r(J20 note and the book he said was rubbish.
      He talks as he handles the transaction.
    
            WILLIAM
        Oh -- right -- on second thoughts
        maybe it wasn't that bad.  Actually
        -- it's a sort of masterpiece really.
        None of those childish kebab
        stories you get in so many travel
        books these days.  And I'll throw in
        one of these for free.
    
      He drops in one of the signed books.
    
            WILLIAM
        Very useful for lighting fires,
        wrapping fish, that sort of things.
    
      She looks at him with a slight smile.
    
            ANNA
        Thanks.
    
      And leaves.  She's out of his life forever.  William is a little
      dazed.  Seconds later Martin comes back in.
    
            MARTIN
        Cappuccino as ordered.
    
            WILLIAM
        Thanks.  I don't think you'll believe
        who was just in here.
    
            MARTIN
        Who?  Someone famous?
    
      But William's innate natural English discretion takes over.
    
            WILLIAM
        No. No-one -- no-one.
    
      They set about drinking their coffees.
    
            MARTIN
        Would be exciting if someone famous
        did come into the shop though,
        wouldn't it?  Do you know -- this is
        pretty incredible actually -- I once
        saw Ringo Starr.  Or at least I think
        it was Ringo.  It might have been
        that broke from 'Fiddler On The Roof,'
        Toppy.
    
            WILLIAM
        Topol.
    
            MARTIN
        That's right -- Topol.
    
            WILLIAM
        But Ringo Starr doesn't look
        anything like Topol.
    
            MARTIN
        No, well... he was quite a long way
        away.
    
            WILLIAM
        So it could have been neither of them?
    
            MARTIN
        I suppose so.
    
            WILLIAM
        Right.  It's not a classic anecdotes,
        is it?
    
            MARTIN
        Not classic, no.
    
      Martin shakes his head.  William drains his cappuccino.
    
    
            WILLIAM
        Right -- want another one?
    
            MARTIN
        Yes.  No, wait -- let's go crazy --
        I'll have an orange juice.
  • Lindy Baker

    Member
    October 13, 2021 at 5:01 am

    Title: Lindy Baker’s Funny Scene!

    “What I learned from this assignment is a reinforcement of my many classes in comedy. I’ve performed Standup for 6 years. I continue to take classes and took this class to discover any techniques that this ScreenwritingU class might reveal. I’ve learned to get the audience thinking in one direction and then shift them to another. This scene is from Hall Pass, written by Peter and Robert Farelly, Pete Jones and Kevin Barnett. I’m a fan of the writing of the Farelly brothers.

    SETUP Do you recognize who this stud is in the blue shorts right here? That’s me the summer I got out of college.

    PAYOFF Wow, Dad, you used to have muscles.

    SETUP Well, I still got a few.

    PAYOFF Where?

    PAYOFF They’re hibernating.

    SETUP Who’s that girl?

    That’s Mommy.

    PAYOFF No, the young one standing next to you.

    That’s Mommy.

    SETUP AND PAYOFF How come Mommy doesn’t wear a bikini anymore? Is it because of her fat ass?

    Yeah. I guess.

    SETUP What? No. Who said Mommy has a fat ass?

    PAYOFF Mommy did.

    Words hurt, Gunnar. Hey, honey. We better get a move on. We gotta meet up with Fred and Grace soon.

    No, I know, I know. I’m trying.

    How long do you think you’re gonna be?

    Uh, 45 minutes? SETUP Less, if you help with the kids.

    PAYOFF No, 45 minutes is good.

    And this photograph is of me in high school. I’m kidding. A joke. Come on. Okay, come on. Bath time. Time to scrub some backs and clean some cracks.

    SETUP I miss going out with you on Saturday nights.

    PAYOFF I wanna have a new policy of going out six nights a week without the kids.

    I think it would be good for us to go out one night a week… – …where it’s just you and me. It would be– – You gotta be kidding. –

    What? –

    You just checked out that girl’s butt. –

    Who did? –

    You did. And it’s rude.

    What? Do you think she noticed? –

    I noticed.

  • Cooper James

    Member
    October 17, 2021 at 1:28 am

    Cooper James

    What I learned from this assignment is in comedy opposites attracting (being stuck together) makes everything much funnier.

    Scene from 48 HRS.

    A white cop and a black ex-con become stuck together to catch an escaped prisoner. They have opposite personalities and don’t trust or like each other. They either win together or lose together.

    PROCESS ROOM - PRISON - DAY
    
    	The GUARD leads Hammond to a steel cage. Harmnond's now
    	wearing a beautifully tailored plaid suit.
    
    	The Guard shouts to ANOTHER GUARD on the far side.
    
    					GUARD
    			Prisoner G21355 ... Hammond.
    
    					SECOND GUARD
    			Okay.  Send him through.
    
    	The gate slides open. The Guard geztures for Hairmond to
    	enter. Hammond walks to the far side of the pen.  The first
    	gate closes, the second one opens.
    
    	Hammond turns and walks over to Cates. The Guard comes up to
    	Cates, double checks his orders then unlocks Hammond's cuffs.
    
    					GUARD
    			Gotta sign for him.
    
    					CATES
    			Sure thing...
    
    	He looks over at Hammond who smiles at him.  Then looks at
    	Harmond's clothes...
    
    					CATES
    					 (continuing)
    			This prison gives out $400 suits?
    
    					HAMMOND
    			What are you talkin' about?  This
    			suit's mine.  It cost $900.

    Hammond dusts off a sleeve. CATES We're supposed to be after a killer, not a string of hookers...
    JOKE ABOUT HAMMOND'S SUIT.
    
    					HAMMOND
    			Listen, it may be a little out of
    			date. You know, I got a reputation
    			for lookingreal sharp with the
    			ladies...
    SETUP
    
    	Cates hands some papers to the Guard.
    
    					GUARD
    			He's all yours.
    
    	The Guard walks away as Hammond feels Cates' lapel.
    
    					HAMMOND
    			We could change this for something
    			good...Get you lookin' sharp for
    			pussy.
    JOKE ABOUT CATES CLOTHES
    
    	Cates gives him a look.
    
    					CATES
    			I don't need to hear your jive. I
    			already got that department taken
    			care of...
    SETUP
    
    					HAMMOND
    			You got a girl... shit... the
    			generosity of women never ceases to
    			amaze me.
    JOKE ABOUT CATES GETTING WOMEN
    
    	Cates slaps a cuff on Hammond's outstrethand, then puts the
    	other on his own wrist.
    
    					HAMMOND
    					 (continuing)
    			Hey, no way.  Take off the
    			bracelets or no deal.
    
    					CATES
    			You just don't get it, do your
    			Reggie?  There isn't any deal. I
    			own your ass.
    SETUP
    
    					HAMMOND
    			No way to start a partnership.
    JOKE
    
    					CATES
    			Get this.  We ain't partners. We
    			ain't brothers.  We ain't friends.
    			I'm puttin' you down and keepin'
    			you down until Ganz is locked up
    			or dead.  And if Ganz gets away,
    			you're gonna be sorry we ever met.
    SETUP
    
    					HAMMOND
    			Shit.  I'm already sorry.
    JOKE
    
    	Cates yanks on the cuffs.  They move away.
    
    					?
    			TRANSITION.
    
    	OUTSIDE THE JAIL - DAY
    
    	CATES LEADS HAMMOND OUT.  THEY HEAD FOR CATES' BATTERED
    	CADILLAC.
    
    					HAMMOND
    			This your car, man?
    SETUP
    
    					CATES
    			Yeah.
    
    					HAMMOND
    			It looks like you bought it off
    			one of the brothers.
    JOKE
    
    	As they approach the car...
    
    					CATES
    			Okay, let's get down to it.  I did
    			my part and got you out.  So now
    			you tell me where we're goin'?
    
    					HAMMOND
    			Don't worry, I got a move for ya.
    			An awesome move. A guy named
    			Luther. Ganz'll be paying him a
    			visit.  We go to him right away.
    
    					CATES
    			Luther was part of the gang?
    
    					HAMMOND
    			What gang you talkin' about, Jack?
    SETUP
    
    					CATES
    			I can read a police file,
    			shithead, and quit calling me Jack.
    SETUP
    
    					HAMMOND
    			Just an expression man, don't mean
    			nothin'.
    
    	Cates gets behind the wheel and kicks the engine over.
    
    					CATES
    			I don't give a damn.  It happens
    			to be my name.
    SETUP
    
    					HAMMOND
    			Then what're you complainin'
    			about? At least nobody's calling
    			you shithead....
    JOKE
    
    					CATES
    			I may call you worse than that.
    
    	Cates drives off.
    
    	EXT. STREET - MISSION DISTRICT - DAY
  • Joe Donato

    Member
    October 20, 2021 at 2:20 am

    Joe’s Funny Scene – Raising Arizona

    What I learned from this is that there are multiple levels of “funny”. For example, in this script alone, there’s “strong visuals” funny (the opening shot of Hi getting thrust into the picture frame), there’s recurring motifs that are funny (the grizzled mopping prisoner, the Sherriffs offscreen instructions to Ed. etc), there’s funny poetic lines about current social issues (Hi saying maybe Reagan’s advisors are confused), there’s contrasts that are twists on the norm: (giant intimidating prisoner saying he feels trapped in a man’s body, the con flirting with the police officer, etc.), the quirky dialogue and local color of everyone, and of course, situational comedy that fuels the plot. I bolded everything I remembered from the movie and how funny it was. I also highlighted everything that was a payoff from something earlier that I didn’t know was a payoff until I got to the recurring part. I realize now too that a lot of the stuff in these pages that aren’t noted, are actually payoffs for stuff that comes in future pages. This script is so amazingly written.

    VER BLACK:
    VOICE-OVER: My name is H. I. McDunnough …
    A WALL
    With horizontal hatch lines.
    VOICE-OVER: … Call me Hi.
    A disheveled young man in a gaily colored Hawaiian shirt is
    launched into frame by someone offscreen.

    He holds a printed paddle that reads “NO. 1468-6 NOV.
    29 79. “
    The hatch marks on the wall behind him are apparently
    height markers.
    VOICE-OVER: … The first time I met Ed was in the
    county lock-up in Tempe, Arizona …
    FLASH
    As his picture is taken.
    CLOSE UP
    On the paddle: “NOV. 29 79.”
    VOICE-OVER: … a day I’ll never forget.
    A bellowing male voice from offscreen:
    SHERIFF: Don’t forget the profile, Ed!
    ANGLE ON THE STILL CAMERA
    It is mounted on a tripod. A pretty young woman in a severe
    police uniform peers out from behind it.
    WOMAN: Turn to the right.
    HI: What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like
    you?
    ED: Short for Edwinna. Turn to the right!
    Hi obliges, but still looks at ED Out of the corner of his eye.
    HI: You’re a flower, you are. just a little desert flower.
    FLASH
    On his eye-skewed profile.
    HI: Lemme know how those come out.
    LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR
    As Hi is escorted away from the camera toward his cell.
    At the far end of the corridor a huge con is sluggishly
    mopping the floor.

    VOICE-OVER: I was in for writing hot checks which,
    when businessmen do it, is called an overdraft. I’m not
    complainin’, mind you; just sayin’ there ain’t no pancake
    so thin it ain’t got two sides. Now prison life is very
    structured-more than most people care for …
    INTERCUTTING
    Hi’s POV of the MOPPING CON, tracking as he approaches,
    and the MOPPING CON’S POV of Hi as Hi approaches.

    VO: … But there’s a spirit of camaraderie that exists
    between the men, like you find only in combat
    maybe …
    The mopping. con snarls as Hi passes:
    CON: Grrrr . . .
    VO: … or on a pro ball club in the heat of a pennant
    drive.
    NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
    A ballplayer connects-THWOCK-for a home run and the
    crowd roars.

    PRISON HALL
    Panning a circle of men who sit facing each other in folding
    chairs. 7he pan starts on Hi.
    VO: In an effort to better ourselves we were forced to
    meet with a counselor who tried to help us figure out
    why we were the way we were …
    At this point the pan has reached the COUNSELOR, an
    earnest, bearded young man who straddles a folding chair
    with his arms folded over its back.
    He is addressing one of the cons:
    COUNSELOR: Why do you use the word “trapped”?
    CLOSE UP BLACK CON
    The huge muscle-bound black man with a shaved head is
    knitting his brow in consternation.
    CON: Huh?
    COUNSELOR: Why do you say you feel “trapped” .
    in a man’s body?
    CON: Oh …
    He bites his lip, thinking; then, in a resonant bass voice:
    … Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real
    hard.

    PAROLE MEETING ROOM
    Three PAROLE OFFICERS-TWO men and a woman-face Hi
    across a table.
    CHAIRMAN: Have you learned anything, Hi?
    HI: Yessir, you bet.
    WOMAN: You wouldn’t lie to us, would you Hi?
    HI: No ma’am, hope to say.
    CHAIRMAN: Okay then. (this becomes a catch-phrase that later becomes funny)
    EXT 7-ELEVEN NIGHT
    A beat-up Chevy pulls into the all-night store’s empty
    parking lot.
    VO: I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn’t
    easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House …
    Hi is getting out of the Chevy in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a
    pump-action shotgun.
    … I dunno, they say he’s a decent man, so …
    He primes the shotgun-WHOOSH-CLACK-and heads for
    the store.
    … maybe his advisers are confused.

    FLASH
    Full-face exposure of Hi once again in front of the mug-shot
    wall.
    ED: Turn to the right!
    Hi obliges but shoots sympathetic glances at ED who is
    obviously upset, wiping away tears and snuffling behind the
    camera.
    HI: What’s the matter, Ed?
    ED: My fai-ants left me.
    VO: She said her fiance had run off with a student
    cosmetologist who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
    FLASH
    On Hi’s profile. He turns back to ED.
    HI: That sumbitch.
    SHERIFF (offscreen): Don’t forget his phone call, Ed!
    HI: You tell him I think he’s a damn fool, Ed. You tell
    him I said so-H. 1. McDunnough. And if he wants to
    discuss it he knows where to find me …
    As another police officer starts to lead him away:
    HI: … in the Munroe County Maximum Security
    Correctional Facility for Men …
    CLOSE ON ED
    Looking up through her tears as Hi is led away.
    HI (OS): … State Farm Road Number Thirty-one;
    Tempe, Arizona …
    BACK TO HI
    Struggling to call back over his shoulder as he is firmly led
    out the door.
    HI: … I’ll be waiting!
    The door slams.
    LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR
    As Hi is once again escorted toward his cell.
    The mopping CON is now in the middle-background,
    having worked his way about halfway up the corridor since
    last time we saw him.

    VO: I can’t say I was happy to be back inside, but the
    flood of familiar sights, sounds and faces almost made it
    feel like a homecoming.
    CLOSE ON MOPPING CON
    As Hi passes.
    CON: Grrrr …

    PRISON HALL
    Group is meeting again.
    COUNSELOR: Most men your age, Hi, are getting
    married and raising up a family. They wouldn’t accept
    prison as a substitute.
    Hi looks sheepish.
    COUNSELOR: … Would any of you men care to
    comment?
    Two convicts sitting next to each other, GALE and EVELLE,
    appear to be friends.
    GALE: But sometimes your career gotta come before
    family.
    EVELLE: Work is what’s kept us happy.

    ANGRY BLACK CON: Yeah, but Doc Schwartz is sayin’
    you gotta accept responsibilities. I mean I’m proud to say
    I got a family … somewheres.
    HIGH ANGLE CELL
    Looking down from the ceiling. In the foreground, lying on
    the top bunk, hands clasped behind his head as he stares off
    into space is MOSES. MOSES is a gnarled, elderly black con
    with wire-rimmed spectacles.
    On the lower bunk, also with hands clasped behind his
    head and staring off at the same spot in space, is Hi.
    VO: I tried to sort through what the Doc had said, but
    prison ain’t the easiest place to think.
    MOSES: An’ when they was no meat we ate fowl. An’
    when they was no fowl we ate crawdad. An’ when they
    was no crawdad to be foun’, we ate San’.
    HI: You ate what?
    MOSES (nodding): We ate San’.
    HI: You ate sand?!
    MOSES: Dass right . . .

    PAROLE BOARD ROOM
    Hi faces the same three PAROLE OFFICERS across the same
    table.
    CHAIRMAN: Well B, you done served your twenty
    munce, and seeing as you never use live ammo, we got
    no choice but to return you to society.
    SECOND MAN: These doors goan swing wide.
    HI: I didn’t want to hurt anyone, Sir.
    SECOND MAN: Hi, we respect that.
    CHAIRMAN: But you’re just hurtin’ yourself with this
    rambunctious behavior.
    HI: I know that, sir.
    CHAIRMAN: Okay then.
    HIGH SHOT
    Of a 7-Eleven parking lot, at night, deserted except for Hi’s
    car which sits untended, its engine rumbling.
    VO: Now I don’t know how you come down on the
    incarceration question …
    Hi backpedals into frame with a shotgun and a bag of cash.
    … whether it’s for rehabilitation or revenge .

  • Sierra Zephyr

    Member
    October 20, 2021 at 2:44 pm

    Sierra’s Funny Scene!

    What I learned: Incongruency & character reveals, instantly out of the gate, almost every action or dialogue, as in As Good As It Gets by James L. Brooks & Mark Andrus, guarantees a start with a bang, and pace to set for the rest of the movie, which delivers the same, page after page.(I commented on the scenes below but it failed to post so I’m not going over it again.) The switches of personalities and open menace are all incongruously set up almost every action and dialogue.

    FADE IN:

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT

    ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an

    enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up

    against the cold — turning back to call inside to the

    unseen love of her long life.

    SWEET-FACED WOMAN

    I’m just going to get some

    flowers, dear. I’ll be back in

    twenty minutes. It’s tulip season

    today. I’m so happy.

    And now she turns and faces the hallway… her sweetness

    dissolves in a flash… replaced by repulsion and that

    quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her

    apartment… closing the door as we consider her vacated.

    POV – MELVIN UDALL

    in the hallway… Well past 50… unliked, unloved,

    unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he’s ever

    met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength

    is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the

    elevator door he holds open.

    MELVIN

    Come here, sweetheart… come on.

    ON DOG

    Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.

    Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the

    mutt who has ignores him.

    MELVIN

    Wanna go for a ride? Okay,

    sweetie?

    The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges

    and picks him up with a decisive heft — so that dog

    urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG

    sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.

    MELVIN

    (a malevolent tone)

    You’ve pissed your last floor, you

    dog-eared monkey.

    The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much

    meaner and quicker than the dog — he holds his snout

    shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the

    garbage chute.

    MELVIN

    I’ll bet you wish you were some

    sort of real dog now, huh? Don’t

    worry… this is New York. If you

    can make it here, you can make it

    anywhere, you know? You ugly,

    smelly fuck.

    And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and

    lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING “ANOOOOS”

    from the DOG fade to nothingness… as another apartment

    door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON

    NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with

    Gothic horror and it’s strange that what that stew of

    trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.

    INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT

    Frantic… he bolts into the hall… Melvin is just about

    to enter his apartment.

    SIMON

    Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie…

    He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.

    SIMON

    Mr. Udall… excuse me. Hey

    there!

    (as Melvin turns)

    Have you seen Verdell?

    MELVIN

    What’s he look like?

    Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is

    directly opposite Simon’s.

    SIMON

    My dog… you know… I mean my

    little dog with the adorable

    face… Don’t you know what my dog

    looks like?

    MELVIN

    I got it. You’re talking about

    your dog. I thought that was the

    name of the colored man I’ve been

    seeing in the hall.

    Simon looks O.S. — and sees his black friend.

    SIMON

    Which color was that?

    MELVIN

    Like thick molasses, with one of

    those wide noses perfect for

    smelling trouble and prison

    food…

    Simon has had it.

    SIMON

    Frank Sachs — Melvin Udall.

    MELVIN

    (not missing a beat)

    How’re you doing?

    SIMON

    Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I

    think you know that.

    FRANK

    (overlapping)

    Simon, you’ve got to get dressed.

    MELVIN

    (to Simon)

    What I know is that as long as you

    keep your work zipped up around

    me, I don’t give a fuck what or

    where you shove your show. Are we

    being neighbors for now?

    SIMON

    (to Frank)

    Do you still think I was

    exaggerating?

    FRANK can only smile.

    FRANK

    Definitely a package you don’t

    want to open or touch.

    MELVIN

    Hope you find him. I love that

    dog.

    Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds

    himself compelled to turn back toward Melvin.

    SIMON

    (directly)

    You don’t love anything, Mr.

    Udall.

    Simon closes his door leaving Melvin alone in the

    hallway.

    MELVIN

    I love throwing your dog down the

    garbage chute.

    INT. MELVIN’S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – NIGHT

    Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to

    five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and

    off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards

    his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens

    the medicine chest.

    INT. MEDICINE CHEST

    Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps

    one — begins to wash — discards it — goes through the

    process two more times.

    INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL – NIGHT

    A group of PARTY GOERS enters — followed by a HANDYMAN

    holding Verdell who looks and finds:

    SIMON

    who looks up — lights up — and tears up as he moves

    quickly toward the group and his dog.

    SIMON

    Thank the good Lord… wow… my

    honey… where have you been?

    PARTY GOER

    (thinking the greeting’s

    for him)

    He always liked me.

    As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the

    Handyman… JACKIE, Frank’s junior partner, barking a

    laugh at the Party Goer — VERDELL BARKING some love. As

    the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.

    Jackie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks

    some awful, sticky gunk from the dog’s body… he puts

    Verdell down to reach for his wallet — the tiny DOG YAPS

    in protest.

    SIMON

    Just for a second, okay?

    The DOG YAPS “no.” Simon, delighted, picks him up again.

    SIMON

    (kissing him on the mouth)

    Look at him… where was little

    baby?

    HANDYMAN

    (smiling)

    In the basement garbage bin eating

    diaper shit.

    Simon reacts — then notices the Handyman, tongue in

    cheek, trying to suppress his amusement.

    SIMON

    Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.

    (looking at Verdell)

    How did he get down in the

    basement? I mean even if he got

    on the elevator how… ?

    HANDYMAN

    Maybe some nice neighbor shoved

    him down the garbage chute.

    SIMON

    My God! No!

    He stares out… Frank frustrated following.

  • Daniel Turner

    Member
    October 29, 2021 at 1:25 am

    Daniel Turner’s Assignment #1

    What I learned – What I learned with this assignment was the basic structure of a joke. To be completely truthful it was something that I had a grasp of intuitively but to have it shown in a concrete manner was very nice and helpful. It is what I like about this scene, it is all about incongruity with a nice rhythm to the set-ups and punchlines.

    NINOTCHKA – 1939

    FADE IN ON:

    AN ESTABLISHING SHOT OF PARIS IN THE MONTH OF APRIL

    DISSOLVE TO:

    THE LUXURIOUS LOBBY OF THE HOTEL CLARENCE

    CAMERA MOVES to a CLOSE SHOT of the desk. In the background

    is a revolving door leading to the street. Through the

    revolving door comes a strangely dressed individual, obviously

    one who doesn’t belong in such surroundings. It is Comrade

    Buljanoff, a member of the Russian Board of Trade. Despite

    the spring climate of Paris, he still wears his typical

    Russian clothes, consisting of a coat with a fur collar, a

    fur cap, and heavy boots.

    (SETUP – Incongruity from the beginning of the scene. A man dressed for winter on a lovely spring day enters a luxury hotel where he clearly doesn’t belong)

    Buljanoff glances around the lobby, obviously over-whelmed

    by its magnificence. The Manager, puzzled by Buljanoff’s

    strange appearance, approaches him.

    MANAGER

    (politely)

    Is there anything I can do for you,

    monsieur?

    BULJANOFF

    No, no.

    He exits toward the street. The Manager returns to his

    customary duties, when suddenly a second Russian, similarly

    dressed, pushes his way through the door and gazes around.

    It is Comrade Iranoff.

    The Manager, definitely mystified by now, approaches him.

    (Setup – A second, clearly out of place man enters the scene.)

    MANAGER

    Yes, monsieur?

    IRANOFF

    Just looking around.

    Iranoff exits. Again the Manager returns to his duties, when

    suddenly he sees that a third man, dressed in the same

    fashion, has appeared in the revolving door. It is Comrade

    Kopalski.

    Kopalski doesn’t leave the revolving door at all but as it

    turns, drinks in the whole spectacle of the lobby. The Manager

    is by now dumfounded.

    (Setup – A third out of place man, it’s incongruity and begins to pique the viewer’s interest. They begin to wonder “what’s going on here?”)

    STREET IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL CLARENCE

    A taxi stands at the curb. Buljanoff and Iranoff are waiting

    beside it, Iranoff holding a suitcase. Kopalski, returning

    from the hotel, joins the group.

    (More Set-up)

    KOPALSKI

    Comrades, why should we lie to each

    other? It’s wonderful.

    IRANOFF

    Let’s be honest. Have we anything

    like it in Russia?

    ALL THREE

    (agreeing with him)

    No, no, no.

    IRANOFF

    Can you imagine what the beds would

    be in a hotel like that?

    KOPALSKI

    They tell me when you ring once the

    valet comes in; when you ring twice

    you get the waiter; and do you know

    what happens when you ring three

    times? A maid comes in — a French

    maid.

    IRANOFF

    (with a gleam in his

    eye)

    Comrades, if we ring nine times…

    let’s go in.

    BULJANOFF

    (stopping him)

    Just a minute — just a minute — I

    have nothing against the idea but I

    still say let’s go back to the Hotel

    Terminus. Moscow made our reservations

    there, we are on an official mission,

    and we have no right to change the

    orders of our superior.

    IRANOFF

    Where is your courage, Comrade

    Buljanoff?

    KOPALSKI

    Are you the Buljanoff who fought on

    the barricades? And now you are afraid

    to take a room with a bath?

    BULJANOFF

    (stepping back into

    the taxi)

    I don’t want to go to Siberia.

    Iranoff and Kopalski follow him reluctantly.

    IRANOFF

    I don’t want to go to the Hotel

    Terminus.

    (Set-up)

    KOPALSKI

    If Lenin were alive he would say,

    “Buljanoff, Comrade, for once in

    your life you’re in Paris. Don’t be

    a fool. Go in there and ring three

    times.”

    IRANOFF

    He wouldn’t say that. What he would

    say is “Buljanoff, you can’t afford

    to live in a cheap hotel. Doesn’t

    the prestige of the Bolsheviks mean

    anything to you? Do you want to live

    in a hotel where you press for the

    hot water and cold water comes and

    when you press for the cold water

    nothing comes out at all? Phooey,

    Buljanoff!”

    (Punchline)

    BULJANOFF

    (weakening)

    I still say our place is with the

    common people, but who am I to

    contradict Lenin? Let’s go in.

    All three start to leave the taxi, as we

    DISSOLVE TO:

    LOBBY — HOTEL CLARENCE — AT THE DESK

    Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski are approaching the Manager,

    their only suitcase carried by two of them.

    KOPALSKI

    Are you the manager?

    MANAGER

    (eyeing the three

    suspiciously)

    Yes.

    KOPALSKI

    Pardon me for introducing Comrade

    Iranoff, member of the Russian Board

    of Trade.

    MANAGER

    (bowing with strained

    politeness)

    Monsieur.

    IRANOFF

    This is Comrade Kopalski.

    MANAGER

    Monsieur.

    BULJANOFF

    I am Comrade Buljanoff.

    MANAGER

    Monsieur.

    BULJANOFF

    May I ask how much your rooms are?

    (Set up)

    MANAGER

    (trying to get rid of

    them)

    Well, gentlemen, I’m afraid our rates

    are rather high.

    BULJANOFF

    Why should you be afraid?

    (Set-up)

    The other two nod their agreement. The Manager has noted the

    single suitcase.

    MANAGER

    (haughtily)

    I might be able to accommodate you.

    Is there some more luggage?

    IRANOFF

    Oh, yes, but have you a safe here

    big enough to hold this?

    MANAGER

    I’m afraid we have no boxes of that

    size in our vault, but there is one

    suite with a private safe…

    IRANOFF

    That’s even better.

    MANAGER

    But, gentlemen, I am afraid…

    (Set-up)

    BULJANOFF

    He’s always afraid.

    (Punchline – Payoff)

    The other two exchange a look of agreement again.

    MANAGER

    (a little annoyed)

    I just wanted to explain. The

    apartment may suit your convenience

    but I doubt that it will fit your

    convictions. It’s the Royal Suite.

    (Set-up)

    The mention of the Royal Suite startles the three.

    (More set – up)

    BULJANOFF

    Royal Suite!

    (To the manager)

    Just a minute.

    The Three Russians take a step away from the manager and go

    into a huddle.

    BULJANOFF

    (in a low voice)

    Now Comrades, I warn you… if it

    gets out in Moscow that we stay in

    the Royal Suite we will get into

    terrible trouble.

    IRANOFF

    (defending his right

    to a good time)

    We’ll just say we had to take it on

    account of the safe. That’s a perfect

    excuse. There was no other safe big

    enough.

    The other two welcome the suggestion with relish.

    BULJANOFF AND IRANOFF

    That’s right. Good, very good.

    Suddenly Buljanoff grows skeptical again.

    (Final Set-up)

    BULJANOFF

    Of course, we could take out the

    pieces and distribute them in three

    or four boxes in the vault and take

    a small room. That’s an idea, isn’t

    it?

    For a moment all three see their bright plans crumble. Then

    Iranoff comes to the rescue.

    (Big-payoff -Punchline)

    IRANOFF

    Yes, it’s an idea, but who says we

    have to have an idea?

    Buljanoff and Kopalski see the logic of this and their faces

    light up.

    BOTH

    That’s right… that’s right.

    BULJANOFF

    (turning to the Manager)

    Give us the Royal Suite.

    The Manager leads the three toward the elevator. The CAMERA

    FOLLOWS THEM and NARROWS DOWN to the suitcase carried by two

    of the Russians.

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