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Day 1 Assignments
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13 Replies
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Denice’s Funny Scene!
What I learned doing this assignment is that if you set up the characters, situations, and incongruity well, you have a funny scene.
SCENE FROM GALAXY QUEST:
EVERYTHING IS INCONGRUENT BECAUSE JASON THINKS THIS IS A TRYOUT FOR A PART. INSTEAD REAL ALIENS NEED HELP AND THINK HE’S REALLY A COMMANDER. THEY’VE TAKEN HIM TO THEIR SHIP, BUT HE WAS SLEEPING AND MISSED KNOWING WHERE HE IS AND HOW HE GOT THERE. ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MAKES THIS WORK SO WELL IS THAT THE ALIENS ARE IN DISGUISE AND LOOK LIKE HUMANS. ALMOST EVERY ACTION AND LINE OF DIALOGUE IS FUNNY.
22 INT. HALLWAY – THE PROTECTOR II
Laliari escorts Jason down the high tech hallway. Jason looks
around, still holding his can of Coke.
LALIARI
SETUP OF REAL DANGER. INCONGRUENT WITH HIS LAID-BACK ATTITUDE.
Sir, Sarris has moved the deadline. We are approaching his ship
at the Ni-delta now. He wants an answer to his proposal. I
understand you have been briefed.
JASON
Yeah, I got most of it in the car. He’s the bad guy, right?
LALIARI
Yes sir he is a very bad man indeed. He has tortured our
scientists, put us to work in the gallium arsenide mines,
captured our females for his own demented purposes…
JASON
FUNNY, BECAUSE HE HAS NO REACTION TO HER LITANY OF TORTURE.
Okay I’ve got the picture. You have pages or do you want me to
just go for it?
LALIARI
MISUNDERSTANDING OF ‘PAGES’ MAKES IT FUNNY.
I m not sure I…
JASON (cont’d)
Script pages. Never mind, let’s see what old Sarris has to say
for himself.
Mathesar approaches with other CREWMEMBERS.
4/26/99 (PINK)
MATHESAR
Commander… Welcome to the Protector II. Would you like to don
your uniform?
JASON
HE HAS NO CLUE. FLIPPANT ATTITUDE IS FUNNY UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES. Mind If we skip that? I have to get back pretty quick for this
thing in Van Nuys.
MATHESAR
As you wish.
Another ALIEN comes running up out of breath.
EXCITED ALIEN Sir… It’s Sarris. He’s here.
23 INT. COMMAND DECK
INCONGRUENT BECAUSE THE SHIP IS AN EXACT REPLICA OF THE TV SET AND THAT’S WHAT JASON THINKS HE’S ON – A SET.
A door slides OPEN and Jason and the others enter the COMMAND
DECK…. It’s straight out of the TV show. Blinking lights,
consoles, the cool old tech displays… But a bit dark. Jason
looks around, genuinely impressed, still wearing his glasses.
JASON
FUNNY
Not bad. Usually it’s painted cardboard boxes in a garage.
They lead him to the Commander’s chair. He sits.
TEB
Sir, we apologize for operating in low power mode, but we are
experiencing a reflective flux field this close to the galactic
axis.
JASON
HIS WHOLE ATTITUDE IN ALL OF HIS DIALOGUE IS FUNNY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING. IT ALSO SHOWS ONE OF HIS MAIN TRAITS, HOW SELFISH HE IS.
No problem. This thing have a cup holder?
EXCITED ALIEN
(hands Jason a clipboard)
The situational analysis, Commander.
JASON
FUNNY, THINKS ALIEN WANTS AN AUTOGRAPH. What’s your name?
EXCITED ALIEN
(perplexed)
…Glath sir.
Jason signs his autograph and hands it back. “There you go.”
NAVIGATOR
We’re approaching in five ticks, sir. Command to slow?
Jason looks toward the front window/view screen. Stars move past
in a familiar display.
JASON
Sure, set the screen saver on two.
EVERYTHING IN THIS SCENE IS FUNNY BECAUSE OF THE MISUNDERSTANDING OF THE ALIENS AND JASON’S ATTITUDE ABOUT THEIR LIFE AND DEATH SITUATION
(the NAVIGATOR looks confused)
Sorry. Sorry. Didn’t mean to break the mood. Slow to Mark 2,
lieutenant.
AGAIN FUNNY BECAUSE THE CORRECT DIRECTIONS THE ALIEN UNDERSTANDS ARE THE SAME AS ON THE TV SHOW.
A SHIP appears on the screen, growing closer. It is a MENACING
craft, sharp and jagged, with a gargoyle shaped figurehead. Then
the VIEWSCREEN fuzzes to life with an image of… SARRIS – He’s
ugly and green hued. Black sharp teeth. A metal hand… He
hisses… There is a beat as the aliens take in the sight, trying
to well their courage.
SARRIS
HE IS TERRIFYING AND JASON HAS NO REACTION. VERY FUNNY.
I see fear. That is expected.
(his voice RESONATES)
Ah, they bring a new Commander… Such a cowardly species. Not
even your own kind… No matter. Here are my demands, and I
would suggest, Commander, that you think well before speaking a
word, because these negotiations are… tender.. and if I do not
like what I hear there will be blood and pain as you cannot
imagine…
Jason takes a sip of coke and checks his watch.
SARRIS
First, I require the Omega 13… Second-
JASON
NO EMOTION MAKES FOR MORE INCONGRUENCY
(blasé, like a laundry list)
Okey dokey, let’s fire blue particle cannons full. Fire red
particle cannons full. Fire gannet magnets left and right. Fire
pulse catapults from all chutes. And throw this thing at him too,
killer.
He hands the GUNNER the empty coke can, then before even waiting
for the weapons to reach their target… …he exits!
HIS SCENE IS DONE. HE’S READY TO GO. BEING CLUELESS MAKES IT FUNNY.
24 HALLWAY
Jason emerges and looks both ways trying to get his bearings.
Several of the aliens chase after him as he enters the
4/26/99 (PINK)
corridor, exchanging stunned dances, trying to absorb the
magnitude of what just happened.
MATHESAR
Commander?… Where are you… going?
JASON
Home.
MATHESAR
You… You mean Earth?
JASON
Yeah. “Earth.” Time to get back to “Earth,” kids.
HIS OBLIVION AND LACK OF ATTENTION IS INCONGRUENT, BUT FITS WITH JASON’S WHOLE ATTITUDE IN THIS SCENE
He turns a corner. Jason is oblivious to the muffled sounds of explosions, traces of the demolition going on outside.
MATHESAR
But Commander… The negotiation… You… You… You fired on
him.
JASON
Right. Long live… What’s your planet?
MATHESAR
Theramin.
JASON
Long live Theramini. Take a left here?
MATHESAR
But what if Sarris survives?
JASON
Oh, I don’t think so. I gave him both barrels.
MATHESAR
He has a very powerful ship. Perhaps you would like to wait to
see the results of-
JASON
INCONGRUENCE: HIS TRY-OUT IS OVER. HE’S GOT OTHER THINGS TO DO THAN SAVE A RACE OF PEOPLE
I would but I am REALLY running late and the 134’s a parking lot
after 2:00. But listen, the guy gives you any more trouble, just
give a call…
Mathesar produces a walkie talkie device for Jason.
MATHESAR
An interstellar vox.
4/26/99 (PINK)
JASON
Thanks.
Mathesar looks him in the eye. A TEAR starts down his cheek. He
HUGS Jason, then shakes his hand sincerely.
MATHESAR
How can we thank you, Commander. You- You have saved our people.
JASON
HAVING NO CLUE MAKES IT FUNNY. ALSO NO EMOTIONAL REACTION TO MATHESAR’S TEARS.
It was a lot of fun. You kids are great.
The others shake his hand, thanking him as they enter the…
25 INTERSTELLAR POD ROOM
A room with a very high circular ceiling. The aliens continue
thanking Jason as they lead him to the center of the room. Jason
realizes he’s left all alone in this strange room with no visible
doors. Jason is suddenly aware that he is standing on a GLOWING
RED DISK.
JASON
PUNCHLINE DIALOGUE
Wait. Where’s the car?
PUNCHLINE ACTION
Suddenly a CLEAR CYLINDER rises from the disk and conforms around
him, ENCASING~ HIM IN A CLEAR BULLET SHAPED CONTAINER. There is
only an instant to register surprise as the ceiling divides and
an AWE INDUCING ROTATING STARFIELD is revealed… The WALLS pull
back around him. And Jason finds himself surrounded by THE
INFINITE VASTNESS OF SPACE. And his face is a MASK OF HORROR In
the split instant as Jason in his pod is ROCKETED FORWARD INTO
SPACE.
26 BLACK – [JASON’S YARD]
HILARIOUS AS HE GETS WHAT HE DESERVES FOR BEING SO UNAWARE.
We pull back slowly from the iris of Jason’s eye. He is now
standing on the red disk in the middle of his own back yard. He
stands there in shock, TEETH CHATTERING, SHIVERING IN WAVES AND
WAVES from the incomprehension of what he’s just experienced,
unable to move from the snot.
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Ira Drower – Funny scenes from the movie Night Shift
Night Shift – starring Henry Winkler and Michael Keaton
What I learned from this lesson was comedy is about incongruities in logic. The bigger the incongruity, or gap, between what might be a normal response and what is said is what delivers big laughs.
I chose the movie Night Shift because Henry Winkler’s stiff character plays so well against Michael Keaton’s manic idea-man persona it delivers laughs throughout the film.
I selected several scenes demonstrating this. At times it almost sounds like a Stand-Up routine but that’s the comic approach used here.
I specified set-up and pay-off below. These clearly show the incongruity in the scene.
Why do you listen to my mother?
This is the same woman…
…who goes to a seance every (set-up)
Friday night since my father died…
…just so she can still yell at him. (payoff)
You want to know why
I carry this tape recorder?
It’s to tape things.
See…
…I’m an idea man, Chuck.
All right?
I get ideas all day.
I can’t control them.
It’s like they come charging in.
I can’t even fight them
if I wanted to.
So I say them in here.
That way, I never forget them.
Okay, here’s an example.
Watch out. Stand back.
This is Bill.
Idea to eliminate garbage. (set-up)
Edible paper. (pay-off)
Eat it, it’s gone.
Eat it, it’s out of there.
No garbage.
I got everything in here.
Business ideas, inventions.
She sells cowboy hats. (Set-up)
The man was in his underwear.
And cowboy underwear. (pay-off)
Belinda! Come on, darling.
Haul it in here, now.
I’ll be right in.
I’ve got to go.
We’ll keep it down.
Why? They said they’ll keep it down.
When did you get dressed?
It wasn’t going to be any good
tonight anyway. I feel so guilty!
I cheated today. (set-up)
– You’re kidding.
– I had a Nestle’s Crunch bar. (pay-off)
Food.
I feel like dirt. (pay-off)
This weekend,
I go to Atlantic City…
…and I do nothing but play blackjack
straight through.
I won’t even get a room, (set-up)
I’ll just get those Wash ‘N Drys. (pay-off)
You know? Did I tell you
I thought of them first? (set-up)
Only they already had them. (pay-off)
Twenty-one.
Wait a minute.
Hold the phone.
I got it!
Oh, you’re going to cure cancer.
Tuna fish. (set-up)
What if you mix…
…mayonnaise in the can
with the tuna? (pay-off)
Hold it!
Hold it! Wait a minute!
Take live tuna fish…
…and feed them mayonnaise. (pay-off)
This is good.
Call StarKist. (pay-off)
This is great!
Can I help you?
Yes, I’m looking
for a Mr. Blazejowski.
I’m Jefferey Durkin.
You sure are.
How you doing, Jeff?
You got money for me?
Some cash? Some do-re-mi?
– 20 bucks, right?
– 20 bucks. Thanks.
Wait outside while
I’m getting the car.
– Sure.
– All right, there you go.
Nice tux!
Good fit!
I don’t want to be a buttinksy,
Some kind of debutante ball.
Kid wants me to take him and his girl.
You’re taking one of
the morgue vehicles?
It’s a limo, ain’t it?
It’s a limo for dead people. (set-up)
Did you see that kid? (pay-off)
Wait. Are you telling me…
this is what you do?
There isn’t a debutante ball
every night. (set-up)
I do weddings, bar mitzvahs
or just cruise the airport. (pay-off)
I picked up these Japanese guys.
$400 from the airport to the U.N.
You’re ripping off diplomats!
Here.
It’s $100.
What is this for?
Okay, big-time, let’s roll!
Rock and roll!
What happens if we get a call?
If you have to go
and pick up a body or….
I’ll be back.
By the time I get there,
they won’t be dead anymore?
Hey, kid.
Do you like music? (set-up)
– Sure!
– Good.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash, it’s a gas-gas-gas (pay-off)
Michael Keaton sings
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Mary’s Funny Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that making expected cultural references incongruent is something I think is funny. I also liked the making of time travel references that interacted with the character’s personality as a kvetcher.
This is from the Movie Sleeper (1973)
One thing that is funny is the set-up of the current (1973) cultural references to health food, etc are turned on their head, and now, in the future, all those things are bad for you, and deep fat, hot fudge, etc. is now good.
This was taken from a transcript…it’s not in screenplay format
He’s fully recovered…
except for a few minor kinks.– Has he asked for anything special?
– Yes. This morning for breakfast.He requested something called wheat
germ, organic honey and tiger’s milk.Those are the charmed substances once
felt to contain life-preserving properties.You mean there was no deep fat?
No steak or cream pies or hot fudge?
Those were thought to be unhealthy… the
opposite of what we now know to be true.Incredible.
The other thing that is funny is Miles’ kvetching about the operation and his situation as he tries to get his head around the fact he’s woken up in the future. He also makes another payoff reference to the idea that everything that was good for you is now bad.
Ex: To me, a miracle is I go in
for a minor operation,I come out the next day,
my rent isn’t 2,000 months overdue.Ex. And where am I, anyhow? What happened
to everybody? Where are all my friends?Understand that everyone you knew in
the past has been dead nearly 200 years.But they all ate organic rice.
Then the writer puts it all together..
It was too good to be true.
I parked right near the hospital.Here. Smoke this. Be sure you get
the smoke deep into your lungs.– I don’t smoke.
– It’s tobacco.It’s one of the healthiest things for you.
Now, go ahead.You need all the strength you can get.
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BRAD’S FUNNY SCENE (The golf course scene from Sideways)
What I learned from this assignment is that it’s all about incongruity!
SET UP
The door bursts open, and Jack comes bounding in.
JACK
Come on, dude. Let’s go golfing! I
got us in at Alisal.
Miles comes to, very hungover.
MILES
INCONGRUITY That’s a public course.
(then –)
SET UP No Stephanie?
JACK
She’s working. I need a break anyway.
INCONGRUITY She’s getting a little clingy.
(magnanimous)
This is our day!
EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY
SET UP WHACK! Jack TEES OFF with a manly athletic swing and shades
his eyes to watch the ball’s trajectory.
JACK
Crap.
Miles, disheveled and sullen, approaches the teebox, sticks
a tee in the ground and sets his ball.
JACK
Did you ever got ahold of Maya
yesterday?
MILES
Nope.
JACK
She likes you, man. Stephanie’ll
tell you.
MILES
(preparing to swing)
Can you give me some room here?
JACK
(stepping back)
Oh yeah. Sure.
Miles lifts his club.
JACK
You know, in life you gotta strike
when the iron’s hot.
MILES
Thanks, Jack.
Miles refocuses and SWINGS just as Jack offers more helpful
advice.
JACK
Don’t whiff it.
WHACK! Despite the distraction, Miles manages to make a good,
long drive.
JACK
Nice shot.
MILES
INCONGRUITY You’re an asshole.
NOW ON THE FAIRWAY —
SET UP Jack is pouring two Dixie cups of wine as Miles prepares to
take his next swing.
JACK
What about your agent? Hear anything
yet?
MILES
Nope.
JACK
What do you think’s going on?
MILES
Could be anything.
JACK
Been checking your messages?
MILES
INCONGRUITY Obsessively.
JACK
Huh.
MILES
They probably think my book is such
a piece of shit that it’s not even
worthy of a response. I guess I’ll
just have to learn how to kiss off
three years of my life.
JACK
But you don’t know yet, so your
negativity’s a bit premature, wouldn’t
you say?
Miles says nothing.
JACK
Or fuck those New York publishers.
Publish it yourself. I’ll chip in.
Just get it out there, get it
reviewed, get it in libraries. Let
the public decide.
SET UP Giving Jack a look that says Jack has no idea what he’s
talking about, Miles takes a stance over the ball and focuses.
JACK
Don’t come over the top. Stay still.
MILES
Shut up.
JACK
Just trying to be helpful.
(a moment later)
It’s all about stillness, Miles.
Inner quiet.
Miles drops his club and turns to Jack.
MILES
INCONGRUITY Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! What’s
the matter with you, man? SHUT UP!
JACK
Why are you so hostile? I know you’re
frustrated with your life right now,
but you can choose not to be so
hostile.
(holding out a cup of
wine)
Here.
Still fuming, Miles begrudgingly accepts the wine and has a
taste. He’s immediately distracted from his woes.
MILES
What is it?
JACK
I don’t know. Got it from Stephanie.
Miles downs the rest and is intrigued by the taste.
MILES
Huh. Let me see the label.
SET UP Suddenly a golfball THUDS against the hard fairway directly
behind them.
JACK
(whirling around)
What the fuck?
Way back on the tee box, some 200 yards away, are a FOURSOME
of two couples. One of the MEN is waving his driver.
HUSBAND #1
(shouting, barely
audible)
Hurry it up, will you?
Jack looks at Miles, the two incredulous.
MILES
Fucker hit into us.
JACK
(yelling)
Hey, asshole! That’s not cool!
MILES
Throw me his ball.
INCONGRUITY Jack walks over, picks up the offending ball and tosses it
to Miles. Miles gets out his 3-wood and — THWOCK! — cuts
it back low and hard.
JACK
Nice shot.
THE COUPLES
duck for cover as the ball whistles over their heads.
JACK AND MILES
laugh hard.
SET UP THE TWO HUSBANDS
climb in their CART and hasten down the fairway toward Jack
and Miles.
JACK
watches their approach, grinning.
JACK
Oh, this is going to be fun.
(jerking a driver
from his bag)
This is going to be fun.
Jack heads in their direction, brandishing the club like a
medieval knight with a mace.
As the husbands get a look at this sight, they turn their
cart around and speed back toward their wives.
JACK
Hit into us again, motherfuckers,
INCONGRUITY and I’ll ass-rape all four of you!
EXT. GOLF COURSE CLUBHOUSE – DAY
SET UP ack and Miles are turning in their cart and hoisting their
clubs over their shoulders.
JACK
Just don’t give up on Maya. Cool
smart chicks like that –they like
persistence.
MILES
I don’t want to talk about it.
JACK
All I know is she’s beautiful. Lots
of soul. Perfect for you. I’m not
going to feel good about this trip
until you guys hook up. Don’t you
just want to feel that cozy little
box grip down on your Johnson?
Nearby a GOLFER is with his YOUNG SON.
GOLFER
INCONGRUITY Hey, you mind keeping it down, buddy?
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Janeen’s Funny Scene
What I learned from this assignment is that stacking comedy in places keeps the audience rolling. Breaks are needed after 3-4 stacks.
I chose an excerpt from Guardians of the Galaxy II where the team is escaping (yet again). I chose a crew-only scene because they are generally non-stop laughs.
I/E. MILANO FLIGHT DECK – MOMENTS LATER
Gamora MOVES UP from the stairs. Rocket and Quill are in the pilot seats. Drax is moving up from the back.
QUILL
We got an armed Sovereign fleet, approaching from the rear.
Gamora takes the center seat, sees a REARVIEW SCAN:
Golden, capsule-shaped, Sovereign OMNICRAFT, with a video screen on front and a blaster on each side – getting closer.
SETUP
GAMORA
Why would they do that?!
PAYOFF — UNEXPECTED RESPONSE
DRAX
Probably because Rocket stole some of their batteries.
Quill and Gamora look at Rocket, astounded. Rocket gawks at Drax, betrayed.
SETUP FOR THE NEXT COMEBACK
ROCKET
Dude.
PAYOFF — SARCASM
DRAX
Oh, right. He didn’t steal one of those. I don’t know why they’re after us. What a mystery this is.
THE SOVEREIGN FIRE UPON THE MILANO.
Quill does his best to evade their blasts.
SETUP
QUILL
What were you thinking?!
PAYOFF — UNEXPECTED HONESTY/INCONGRUITY
ROCKET
Dude, it was really easy to steal.
SETUP
GAMORA
That’s your defense?
PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED
ROCKET
Come on. You saw how that high-priestess talked down to us! I’m teaching her a lesson!
PAYOFF – SARCASM
QUILL
Oh! I didn’t realize your motivation was altruism. A shame the Sovereign have mistaken your intentions and are trying to kill us.
PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED HONESTY/SINCERITY
ROCKET
Exactly.
SETUP
QUILL I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!
PAYOFF – UNEXPECTED SINCERITY
ROCKET
Oh no! You tricked me! You’re supposed to use a sarcastic voice!
Now I look foolish!
Drax points at Rocket and LAUGHS at him.
QUILL
SHUT UP, DRAX! You knew! You should have told us!
Drax is aghast. He looks at Rocket.
DRAX
Did you tell him it was easy to steal?
ROCKET
Are you kidding me?
DRAX
What?
ROCKET
You never listen to anything!
PAYOFF — SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO AUDIENCE (IN A WAY)
GAMORA
None of you listens! Can we please just put the bickering on hold until after we survive the massive space battle?!
Rocket glances at Quill, nodding back at Gamora.
SETUP
ROCKET
Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
PAYOFF – INCONGRUITY
QUILL
Do not try to bro down with me right now, dude. I will tricking punch you in your fricking face.
PAYOFF – SARCASM
ROCKET
Real nice! Resorting to violence.
QUILL
More incoming!
MORE SHIPS FLY AT THEM from the front.
ROCKET
Good! I want to kill some guys!
They twist and turn between the oncoming ships as ROCKET FIRES AT THEM, SCREAMING. They EXPLODE.
On the front of the Sovereign ships is the VIDEO IMAGE OF A
PILOT.
SOVEREIGN PILOT (ON SHIP)
Bloody hell!
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AMANDA AVALON
What I learned from this assignment is that comedy is more showing/doing than dialogue.
IT'S COMPLICATED by Nancy Meyers
INT. JANE’S BEDROOM – WIDE – SAME TIME
Jake pokes his head in, looks around, sees no one in the
room. He hears Jane in the bathroom and ENTERS quietly,
quickly squirms out of his boxers and T-shirt, then, DROPS * HIS ROBE, and lies on his side, on the bed, completely NUDE — elbow up, palm supporting his head — a smile on his face. He changes his smile to a smoulder.Jake hears water running. Suddenly modest, he quickly drags over the open Laptop and places the open screen in front of <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>his privates. He smiles, ready to be discovered.
JANE dries her hands at the bathroom sink.
INT. ADAM’S BEDROOM – SAME TIME
Adam crosses through the room on his way to his laptop.JANE ENTERS HER BEDROOM, SEES JAKE and lets out a SCREAM.
Simultaneously, ADAM PLOPS DOWN IN HIS DESK CHAIR, LOOKS AT <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>HIS SCREEN and instantly YANKS HIMSELF AWAY in disgust.
ADAM
Mother of —
(looks again)
Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Jake LOOKS DOWN AT THE SCREEN, SEES ADAM’S SCREAMING FACE <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>AND SCREAMS BACK.
JANE
What are you doing in here?!!!
ADAM
(covering the screen with
his hands)
Get it off!!!
JAKE
(covering himself)
I wanted to see you.
JANE
Why are you naked!?!
JAKE
(sits up straight, the lap <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>top shooting <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>even <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>more <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>directly at his groin)
Why do you think?
ADAM
Okay, I’m gonna be sick.
Jake LEANS IN, covers Adam’s eyes on the screen, which, of course, does nothing.
ADAM
Not working! Big close up!
Jake rises, now his ass gets the close up, he bends over to <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>get his robe.
ADAM
Okay! Good night!
Jake SPINS THE LAPTOP and the ISIGHT LENS LANDS ON JANE.
Jane and Adam look at one another. No time to say anything.
She’s desperate. He’s lost.
The DOOR FLIES OPEN, the KIDS RUSH IN, just as Jake ties his robe.
GABBY
Everybody okay?
No one says anything.
LAUREN
What’s happening?
Adam listens, his eyes on Jane. Jake crosses to Jane, facing
the Kids. He walks in and out of the iSight shot.
JAKE
Okay. Let me explain. The reason I left Agness wasn’t just because my marriage wasn’t working.
(The Kids wait…)
I’ve also fallen in love…back in love… with your mother. Or maybe I never stopped loving her.
GABBY
Is this a joke?
JAKE
I know this is shocking, but I think this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Your Mom and I have been seeing each other, on the side… ever since New York.
LAUREN
Mom, is this true?
JANE (dying)
That part is, but…
JAKE
I found my way back home. I just hope she’ll take me back.
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Anthony Ward- Funny Scene
What I learned from this assignment is incongruity plays a large role in comedy. I may not fully understand it but I do have a deeper understanding of how it is used.
INT. SERGEANT’S GEEICE – DAY
ANGEL sits opposite a jovial SERGEANT of the same age.
SERGEANT
Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand? (Setup)
ANGEL
Still a bit stiff.
SEEGEANT
Hardly fitting for such a good boy.
ANGEL
I’m sorry Sergeant?
SERGEANT
Getting stabbed by Santa.
(Punchline)
ANGEL Right.
SERGEANT
It can get awfully hairy out there.
I’m surprised you hadn’t been
snapped up into a nice desk job
before. That’s what I did.
ANGEL
I know sergeant. I prefer to think
my office is out on the street.
SERGEANT
Indeed you do. Your arrest record
is 460% higher than any other
officer. And your paperwork is
really quite exemplary. You do like
to cross the ’I’s and dot the ’T’s.
(Setup)
3.
ANGEL
Dot the ’I’s and cross the ’T’s.
(Incongruent)
SERGEANT
Exactly. And that’s why it’s high
time such skills were put to better
use. We’re making you Sergeant.
ANGEL I see.
(Setup)
SERGEANT
(mumbles)
In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
(Punchline)
ANGEL
In where sorry?
SERGEANT
In Sandford, Gloucestershire.
ANGEL
That’s in the country.
SERGEANT
Yes, lovely.
ANGEL
That’s miles away.
Lovely.
SERGEANT
ANGEL
Is there not a Sergeant’s position
in London?
No.
SERGEANT
ANGEL
Well, can I just stay here as a
Noooo.
P.C.?
Nooo.
Do I have any choice in this?
SERGEANT
ANGEL
SERGEANT
4.
ANGEL
But, I like it here.
SERGEANT
You always said you wanted to
transfer to the country.
(Setup)
ANGEL
In twenty years time maybe.
(Incongruent)
SERGEANT
Well done you.
ANGEL
Hang on – I don’t actually remember
telling you that.
SERGEANT
Yes you did, you said”
(slyly looks at notes)
“I’d love to settle down in the
country sometime Janine”.
(Punchline)
ANGEL
I’d like to talk to the Inspector.
(Setup)
SERGEANT
Hey, fine. You can talk to the
Inspector, but I promise he’ll say
the same thing as me.
INT. SERGEANT’S OFFICE – DAY
An equally jovial INSPECTOR sits alongside the SERGEANT.
INSPECTOR
Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand?
(Punchline)
ANGEL
Still a bit stiff.
INSPECTOR
How are things at home?
ANGEL
I’m sorry sir?
INSPECTOR
How’s Janine?
5.
ANGEL
We’re no longer together sir-
(Setup)
INSEECTQR
So where are you living now?
SERGEANT
He’s in the Section House sir.
INSPECTOR
With all the recruits?
ANGEL
Temporarily yes, but-
INSPECTOR
Well, we must get you out of there.
SERGEANT
Yes, he’s living out of cardboard
boxes.
INSPECTOR
Well, then you’re already packed.
Nicholas, we’re offering you a
smashing position and a delightful
cottage in a lovely little place
that’s been voted ’Village of the
Year’ I don’t know how many times.
It’ll be good for you.
(Punchline)
SERGEANT
We’re only asking you to go for
nine months.
ANGEL
Nine months!?
A year.
INSPECTOR
SERGEANT
Two years tops.
ANGEL
I really don’t know what to say-
INSPECTOR
Just say yes.
SERGEANT
Just say yes, thank you.
6.
ANGEL
No, I’m sorry sir, I want to-
INSPECTOR
-take this higher?
(Setup)
ANGEL
Yes. Yes I do.
INSPECTOR
You want me to bother the Chief
Inspector with this?
ANGEL
Yes I do.
INSPECTOR
You want me to get the Chief
Inspector to come all the way down
here?
Yes.
ANGEL
INSPECTOR
Okay. Kenneth?
The jovial CHIEF INSPECTOR (50’s) enters. ANGEL stands.
CHIEF INSPECTOR
Hello Nicholas. How’s the hand?
(Punchline)
INSPECTOR & SERGEANT
Still a bit stiff.
ANGEL
Chief Inspector-
CEIEF INSPECTOR
Keep your seat. Now, I know what
you’re going to say, but the fact
is, you’re making us all look bad.
ANGEL
I’m sorry sir?
CHIEF INSPECTOR
Of course we all appreciate your
efforts, but you’re rather letting
the side down.
(Setup)
7.
ANGEL
But, my record is 406% higher than
everyone else.
CHIEF INSPECTOR
Exactly…
(Incongruent)
ANGEL
I’m not sure I-
CHIEF INSPECTOR
Sometimes you’ve just got to sail
the middle path.
INSPECTOR
It’s all about being a team player,
Nicholas.
SERGEANT
You can’t be the Sheriff of London.
(Incongruent)
CHIEF INSPECTOR
If we let you carry on running
around town, you’ll just continue
to be exceptional and we can’t have
that. You’ll put us all out of a
job.
ANGEL
With the greatest respect, sir. You
can’t just make people disappear.
(Setup)
CHIEF INSPECTOR
Yes I can. I’m the Chief Inspector.
(Punchline)
INSPECTOR
No one’s disappearing, Sergeant.
ANGEL
However you spin this, there’s one
thing you haven’t counted on. And
that’s what the ’team’ are going to
make of this.
(Setup)
ANGEL exits the office and is greeted by every officer in
the force, clasping plastic glasses. A makeshift sign made
from colour photocopied sheets reads ’GOOD LUCK NICHOLAS’.
(Punchline)
-
Jim Peacock’s funny scene
What I learned – what funny is!
My curiosity was piqued by the use of Notting Hill in the lesson
INT. THE BOOKSHOP - DAY It is a small shop, slightly chaotic, bookshelves everywhere, with little secret bits round corners with even more books. Martin, William's sole employee, is waiting enthusiastically. He is very keen, an uncrushable optimist. Perhaps without cause. A few seconds later, William stands gloomily behind the desk. Even the descriptions are incongruous WILLIAM Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push -- minus $B!r(J347. MARTIN Shall I go get a cappuccino? Ease the pain. WILLIAM Yes, better get me a half. All I can afford. Funny because of the many obsolete book purchases (typical) he can't afford a cappuccinol MARIN I get your logic. Demi-capu coming up. He salutes and bolts out the door -- as he does, a woman walks in. We only just glimpse her. Cut to William working. He looks up casually. And sees something. His reaction is hard to read. After a pause... WILLIAM Can I help you? It is Anna Scott, the biggest movie star in the world -- here -- in his shop. The most divine, subtle, beautiful woman on earth. When she speaks she is very self-assured and self-contained. ANNA No, thanks. I'll just look around. WILLIAM Fine. She wanders over to a shelf as he watches her -- and picks out a quite smart coffee table book. WILLIAM That book's really not good -- just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money. ANNA Really? WILLIAM Yes. This one though is... very good. He picks up a book on the counter. WILLIAM I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. There's also a very amusing incident with a kebab. ANNA Thanks. I'll think about it. William suddenly spies something odd on the small TV monitor beside him. WILLIAM If you could just give me a second. Her eyes follow him as he moves toward the back of the shop and approaches a man in slightly ill-fitting clothes. WILLIAM Excuse me. THIEF Yes. WILLIAM Bad news. THIEF What? WILLIAM We've got a security camera in this bit of the shop. THIEF So? WILLIAM So, I saw you put that book down your trousers. THIEF What book? WILLIAM The one down your trousers. THIEF I haven't got a book down my trousers. WILLIAM Right -- well, then we have something of an impasse. I tell you what -- I'll call the police -- and, what can I say? -- If I'm wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I really apologize. THIEF Okay -- what if I did have a book down my trousers? WILLIAM Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, you'd remove the Cadogan guide to Bali from your trousers, and either wipe it and put it back, or buy it. See you in a sec. He returns to his desk. In the monitor we just glimpse, as does William, the book coming out of the trousers and put back on the shelves. The thief drifts out towards the door. Anna, who has observed all this, is looking at a blue book on the counter. WILLIAM Sorry about that... ANNA No, that's fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I've changed my mind. Signed by the author, I see. WILLIAM Yes, we couldn't stop him. If you can find an unsigned copy, it's worth an absolute fortune. She smiles. Suddenly the thief is there. THIEF Excuse me. ANNA Yes. THIEF Can I have your autograph? ANNA What's your name? THIEF Rufus. She signs his scruffy piece of paper. He tries to read it. THIEF What does it say? ANNA Well, that's the signature -- and above, it says 'Dear Rufus -- you belong in jail.' THIEF Nice one. Would you like my phone number? ANNA Tempting but... no, thank you. Thief leaves. ANNA I think I will try this one. She hands William a $B!r(J20 note and the book he said was rubbish. He talks as he handles the transaction. WILLIAM Oh -- right -- on second thoughts maybe it wasn't that bad. Actually -- it's a sort of masterpiece really. None of those childish kebab stories you get in so many travel books these days. And I'll throw in one of these for free. He drops in one of the signed books. WILLIAM Very useful for lighting fires, wrapping fish, that sort of things. She looks at him with a slight smile. ANNA Thanks. And leaves. She's out of his life forever. William is a little dazed. Seconds later Martin comes back in. MARTIN Cappuccino as ordered. WILLIAM Thanks. I don't think you'll believe who was just in here. MARTIN Who? Someone famous? But William's innate natural English discretion takes over. WILLIAM No. No-one -- no-one. They set about drinking their coffees. MARTIN Would be exciting if someone famous did come into the shop though, wouldn't it? Do you know -- this is pretty incredible actually -- I once saw Ringo Starr. Or at least I think it was Ringo. It might have been that broke from 'Fiddler On The Roof,' Toppy. WILLIAM Topol. MARTIN That's right -- Topol. WILLIAM But Ringo Starr doesn't look anything like Topol. MARTIN No, well... he was quite a long way away. WILLIAM So it could have been neither of them? MARTIN I suppose so. WILLIAM Right. It's not a classic anecdotes, is it? MARTIN Not classic, no. Martin shakes his head. William drains his cappuccino. WILLIAM Right -- want another one? MARTIN Yes. No, wait -- let's go crazy -- I'll have an orange juice. -
Title: Lindy Baker’s Funny Scene!
“What I learned from this assignment is a reinforcement of my many classes in comedy. I’ve performed Standup for 6 years. I continue to take classes and took this class to discover any techniques that this ScreenwritingU class might reveal. I’ve learned to get the audience thinking in one direction and then shift them to another. This scene is from Hall Pass, written by Peter and Robert Farelly, Pete Jones and Kevin Barnett. I’m a fan of the writing of the Farelly brothers.
SETUP Do you recognize who this stud is in the blue shorts right here? That’s me the summer I got out of college.
PAYOFF Wow, Dad, you used to have muscles.
SETUP Well, I still got a few.
PAYOFF Where?
PAYOFF They’re hibernating.
SETUP Who’s that girl?
That’s Mommy.
PAYOFF No, the young one standing next to you.
That’s Mommy.
SETUP AND PAYOFF How come Mommy doesn’t wear a bikini anymore? Is it because of her fat ass?
Yeah. I guess.
SETUP What? No. Who said Mommy has a fat ass?
PAYOFF Mommy did.
Words hurt, Gunnar. Hey, honey. We better get a move on. We gotta meet up with Fred and Grace soon.
No, I know, I know. I’m trying.
How long do you think you’re gonna be?
Uh, 45 minutes? SETUP Less, if you help with the kids.
PAYOFF No, 45 minutes is good.
And this photograph is of me in high school. I’m kidding. A joke. Come on. Okay, come on. Bath time. Time to scrub some backs and clean some cracks.
SETUP I miss going out with you on Saturday nights.
PAYOFF I wanna have a new policy of going out six nights a week without the kids.
I think it would be good for us to go out one night a week… – …where it’s just you and me. It would be– – You gotta be kidding. –
What? –
You just checked out that girl’s butt. –
Who did? –
You did. And it’s rude.
What? Do you think she noticed? –
I noticed.
-
Cooper James
What I learned from this assignment is in comedy opposites attracting (being stuck together) makes everything much funnier.
Scene from 48 HRS.
A white cop and a black ex-con become stuck together to catch an escaped prisoner. They have opposite personalities and don’t trust or like each other. They either win together or lose together.
PROCESS ROOM - PRISON - DAY The GUARD leads Hammond to a steel cage. Harmnond's now wearing a beautifully tailored plaid suit. The Guard shouts to ANOTHER GUARD on the far side. GUARD Prisoner G21355 ... Hammond. SECOND GUARD Okay. Send him through. The gate slides open. The Guard geztures for Hairmond to enter. Hammond walks to the far side of the pen. The first gate closes, the second one opens. Hammond turns and walks over to Cates. The Guard comes up to Cates, double checks his orders then unlocks Hammond's cuffs. GUARD Gotta sign for him. CATES Sure thing... He looks over at Hammond who smiles at him. Then looks at Harmond's clothes... CATES (continuing) This prison gives out $400 suits? HAMMOND What are you talkin' about? This suit's mine. It cost $900.
Hammond dusts off a sleeve. CATES We're supposed to be after a killer, not a string of hookers...JOKE ABOUT HAMMOND'S SUIT. HAMMOND Listen, it may be a little out of date. You know, I got a reputation for lookingreal sharp with the ladies...
SETUP Cates hands some papers to the Guard. GUARD He's all yours. The Guard walks away as Hammond feels Cates' lapel. HAMMOND We could change this for something good...Get you lookin' sharp for pussy.
JOKE ABOUT CATES CLOTHES Cates gives him a look. CATES I don't need to hear your jive. I already got that department taken care of...
SETUP HAMMOND You got a girl... shit... the generosity of women never ceases to amaze me.
JOKE ABOUT CATES GETTING WOMEN Cates slaps a cuff on Hammond's outstrethand, then puts the other on his own wrist. HAMMOND (continuing) Hey, no way. Take off the bracelets or no deal. CATES You just don't get it, do your Reggie? There isn't any deal. I own your ass.
SETUP HAMMOND No way to start a partnership.
JOKE CATES Get this. We ain't partners. We ain't brothers. We ain't friends. I'm puttin' you down and keepin' you down until Ganz is locked up or dead. And if Ganz gets away, you're gonna be sorry we ever met.
SETUP HAMMOND Shit. I'm already sorry.
JOKE Cates yanks on the cuffs. They move away. ? TRANSITION. OUTSIDE THE JAIL - DAY CATES LEADS HAMMOND OUT. THEY HEAD FOR CATES' BATTERED CADILLAC. HAMMOND This your car, man?
SETUP CATES Yeah. HAMMOND It looks like you bought it off one of the brothers.
JOKE As they approach the car... CATES Okay, let's get down to it. I did my part and got you out. So now you tell me where we're goin'? HAMMOND Don't worry, I got a move for ya. An awesome move. A guy named Luther. Ganz'll be paying him a visit. We go to him right away. CATES Luther was part of the gang? HAMMOND What gang you talkin' about, Jack?
SETUP CATES I can read a police file, shithead, and quit calling me Jack.
SETUP HAMMOND Just an expression man, don't mean nothin'. Cates gets behind the wheel and kicks the engine over. CATES I don't give a damn. It happens to be my name.
SETUP HAMMOND Then what're you complainin' about? At least nobody's calling you shithead....
JOKE CATES I may call you worse than that. Cates drives off. EXT. STREET - MISSION DISTRICT - DAY
-
Joe’s Funny Scene – Raising Arizona
What I learned from this is that there are multiple levels of “funny”. For example, in this script alone, there’s “strong visuals” funny (the opening shot of Hi getting thrust into the picture frame), there’s recurring motifs that are funny (the grizzled mopping prisoner, the Sherriffs offscreen instructions to Ed. etc), there’s funny poetic lines about current social issues (Hi saying maybe Reagan’s advisors are confused), there’s contrasts that are twists on the norm: (giant intimidating prisoner saying he feels trapped in a man’s body, the con flirting with the police officer, etc.), the quirky dialogue and local color of everyone, and of course, situational comedy that fuels the plot. I bolded everything I remembered from the movie and how funny it was. I also highlighted everything that was a payoff from something earlier that I didn’t know was a payoff until I got to the recurring part. I realize now too that a lot of the stuff in these pages that aren’t noted, are actually payoffs for stuff that comes in future pages. This script is so amazingly written.
VER BLACK:
VOICE-OVER: My name is H. I. McDunnough …
A WALL
With horizontal hatch lines.
VOICE-OVER: … Call me Hi.
A disheveled young man in a gaily colored Hawaiian shirt is
launched into frame by someone offscreen.
He holds a printed paddle that reads “NO. 1468-6 NOV.
29 79. “
The hatch marks on the wall behind him are apparently
height markers.
VOICE-OVER: … The first time I met Ed was in the
county lock-up in Tempe, Arizona …
FLASH
As his picture is taken.
CLOSE UP
On the paddle: “NOV. 29 79.”
VOICE-OVER: … a day I’ll never forget.
A bellowing male voice from offscreen:
SHERIFF: Don’t forget the profile, Ed!
ANGLE ON THE STILL CAMERA
It is mounted on a tripod. A pretty young woman in a severe
police uniform peers out from behind it.
WOMAN: Turn to the right.
HI: What kind of name is Ed for a pretty thing like
you?
ED: Short for Edwinna. Turn to the right!
Hi obliges, but still looks at ED Out of the corner of his eye.
HI: You’re a flower, you are. just a little desert flower.
FLASH
On his eye-skewed profile.
HI: Lemme know how those come out.
LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR
As Hi is escorted away from the camera toward his cell.
At the far end of the corridor a huge con is sluggishly
mopping the floor.
VOICE-OVER: I was in for writing hot checks which,
when businessmen do it, is called an overdraft. I’m not
complainin’, mind you; just sayin’ there ain’t no pancake
so thin it ain’t got two sides. Now prison life is very
structured-more than most people care for …
INTERCUTTING
Hi’s POV of the MOPPING CON, tracking as he approaches,
and the MOPPING CON’S POV of Hi as Hi approaches.
VO: … But there’s a spirit of camaraderie that exists
between the men, like you find only in combat
maybe …
The mopping. con snarls as Hi passes:
CON: Grrrr . . .
VO: … or on a pro ball club in the heat of a pennant
drive.
NEWSREEL FOOTAGE
A ballplayer connects-THWOCK-for a home run and the
crowd roars.
PRISON HALL
Panning a circle of men who sit facing each other in folding
chairs. 7he pan starts on Hi.
VO: In an effort to better ourselves we were forced to
meet with a counselor who tried to help us figure out
why we were the way we were …
At this point the pan has reached the COUNSELOR, an
earnest, bearded young man who straddles a folding chair
with his arms folded over its back.
He is addressing one of the cons:
COUNSELOR: Why do you use the word “trapped”?
CLOSE UP BLACK CON
The huge muscle-bound black man with a shaved head is
knitting his brow in consternation.
CON: Huh?
COUNSELOR: Why do you say you feel “trapped” .
in a man’s body?
CON: Oh …
He bites his lip, thinking; then, in a resonant bass voice:
… Well, sometimes I get the menstrual cramps real
hard.
PAROLE MEETING ROOM
Three PAROLE OFFICERS-TWO men and a woman-face Hi
across a table.
CHAIRMAN: Have you learned anything, Hi?
HI: Yessir, you bet.
WOMAN: You wouldn’t lie to us, would you Hi?
HI: No ma’am, hope to say.
CHAIRMAN: Okay then. (this becomes a catch-phrase that later becomes funny)
EXT 7-ELEVEN NIGHT
A beat-up Chevy pulls into the all-night store’s empty
parking lot.
VO: I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn’t
easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House …
Hi is getting out of the Chevy in a Hawaiian shirt, holding a
pump-action shotgun.
… I dunno, they say he’s a decent man, so …
He primes the shotgun-WHOOSH-CLACK-and heads for
the store.
… maybe his advisers are confused.
FLASH
Full-face exposure of Hi once again in front of the mug-shot
wall.
ED: Turn to the right!
Hi obliges but shoots sympathetic glances at ED who is
obviously upset, wiping away tears and snuffling behind the
camera.
HI: What’s the matter, Ed?
ED: My fai-ants left me.
VO: She said her fiance had run off with a student
cosmetologist who knew how to ply her feminine wiles.
FLASH
On Hi’s profile. He turns back to ED.
HI: That sumbitch.
SHERIFF (offscreen): Don’t forget his phone call, Ed!
HI: You tell him I think he’s a damn fool, Ed. You tell
him I said so-H. 1. McDunnough. And if he wants to
discuss it he knows where to find me …
As another police officer starts to lead him away:
HI: … in the Munroe County Maximum Security
Correctional Facility for Men …
CLOSE ON ED
Looking up through her tears as Hi is led away.
HI (OS): … State Farm Road Number Thirty-one;
Tempe, Arizona …
BACK TO HI
Struggling to call back over his shoulder as he is firmly led
out the door.
HI: … I’ll be waiting!
The door slams.
LOW ANGLE CELL BLOCK CORRIDOR
As Hi is once again escorted toward his cell.
The mopping CON is now in the middle-background,
having worked his way about halfway up the corridor since
last time we saw him.
VO: I can’t say I was happy to be back inside, but the
flood of familiar sights, sounds and faces almost made it
feel like a homecoming.
CLOSE ON MOPPING CON
As Hi passes.
CON: Grrrr …
PRISON HALL
Group is meeting again.
COUNSELOR: Most men your age, Hi, are getting
married and raising up a family. They wouldn’t accept
prison as a substitute.
Hi looks sheepish.
COUNSELOR: … Would any of you men care to
comment?
Two convicts sitting next to each other, GALE and EVELLE,
appear to be friends.
GALE: But sometimes your career gotta come before
family.
EVELLE: Work is what’s kept us happy.
ANGRY BLACK CON: Yeah, but Doc Schwartz is sayin’
you gotta accept responsibilities. I mean I’m proud to say
I got a family … somewheres.
HIGH ANGLE CELL
Looking down from the ceiling. In the foreground, lying on
the top bunk, hands clasped behind his head as he stares off
into space is MOSES. MOSES is a gnarled, elderly black con
with wire-rimmed spectacles.
On the lower bunk, also with hands clasped behind his
head and staring off at the same spot in space, is Hi.
VO: I tried to sort through what the Doc had said, but
prison ain’t the easiest place to think.
MOSES: An’ when they was no meat we ate fowl. An’
when they was no fowl we ate crawdad. An’ when they
was no crawdad to be foun’, we ate San’.
HI: You ate what?
MOSES (nodding): We ate San’.
HI: You ate sand?!
MOSES: Dass right . . .
PAROLE BOARD ROOM
Hi faces the same three PAROLE OFFICERS across the same
table.
CHAIRMAN: Well B, you done served your twenty
munce, and seeing as you never use live ammo, we got
no choice but to return you to society.
SECOND MAN: These doors goan swing wide.
HI: I didn’t want to hurt anyone, Sir.
SECOND MAN: Hi, we respect that.
CHAIRMAN: But you’re just hurtin’ yourself with this
rambunctious behavior.
HI: I know that, sir.
CHAIRMAN: Okay then.
HIGH SHOT
Of a 7-Eleven parking lot, at night, deserted except for Hi’s
car which sits untended, its engine rumbling.
VO: Now I don’t know how you come down on the
incarceration question …
Hi backpedals into frame with a shotgun and a bag of cash.
… whether it’s for rehabilitation or revenge . -
Sierra’s Funny Scene!
What I learned: Incongruency & character reveals, instantly out of the gate, almost every action or dialogue, as in As Good As It Gets by James L. Brooks & Mark Andrus, guarantees a start with a bang, and pace to set for the rest of the movie, which delivers the same, page after page.(I commented on the scenes below but it failed to post so I’m not going over it again.) The switches of personalities and open menace are all incongruously set up almost every action and dialogue.
FADE IN:
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT
ANGLE ON apartment doorway. As it opens and an
enormously SWEET-FACED, ELDER WOMAN steps out, bungled up
against the cold — turning back to call inside to the
unseen love of her long life.
SWEET-FACED WOMAN
I’m just going to get some
flowers, dear. I’ll be back in
twenty minutes. It’s tulip season
today. I’m so happy.
And now she turns and faces the hallway… her sweetness
dissolves in a flash… replaced by repulsion and that
quickly she has reversed herself and re-entered her
apartment… closing the door as we consider her vacated.
POV – MELVIN UDALL
in the hallway… Well past 50… unliked, unloved,
unsettling. A huge pain in the ass to everyone he’s ever
met. Right now all his considerable talent and strength
is totally focused on seducing a tiny dog into the
elevator door he holds open.
MELVIN
Come here, sweetheart… come on.
ON DOG
Sniffing at a particular spot on the hall carpeting.
Melvin lets the elevator door close and advances on the
mutt who has ignores him.
MELVIN
Wanna go for a ride? Okay,
sweetie?
The dog lifts his leg at the precise moment Melvin lunges
and picks him up with a decisive heft — so that dog
urine squirts the hall wall for a second or two. The DOG
sensing a kindred spirit starts to GROWL and BARK.
MELVIN
(a malevolent tone)
You’ve pissed your last floor, you
dog-eared monkey.
The dog takes a snap at Melvin, but the man is much
meaner and quicker than the dog — he holds his snout
shut with his hand and reaches for the door of the
garbage chute.
MELVIN
I’ll bet you wish you were some
sort of real dog now, huh? Don’t
worry… this is New York. If you
can make it here, you can make it
anywhere, you know? You ugly,
smelly fuck.
And with that, he stuffs him in the garbage chute and
lets go. We hear a FADING SERIES of PLEADING “ANOOOOS”
from the DOG fade to nothingness… as another apartment
door opens emitting the loud sounds of a PARTY and SIMON
NYE, early 30s. Simon has been born and raised with
Gothic horror and it’s strange that what that stew of
trauma has produced is a gifted, decent man.
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING (NEW YORK), HALLWAY – NIGHT
Frantic… he bolts into the hall… Melvin is just about
to enter his apartment.
SIMON
Verdell!?!! Here, good doggie…
He notices Melvin at the far end of the hall.
SIMON
Mr. Udall… excuse me. Hey
there!
(as Melvin turns)
Have you seen Verdell?
MELVIN
What’s he look like?
Melvin starts to walk back to his apartment door which is
directly opposite Simon’s.
SIMON
My dog… you know… I mean my
little dog with the adorable
face… Don’t you know what my dog
looks like?
MELVIN
I got it. You’re talking about
your dog. I thought that was the
name of the colored man I’ve been
seeing in the hall.
Simon looks O.S. — and sees his black friend.
SIMON
Which color was that?
MELVIN
Like thick molasses, with one of
those wide noses perfect for
smelling trouble and prison
food…
Simon has had it.
SIMON
Frank Sachs — Melvin Udall.
MELVIN
(not missing a beat)
How’re you doing?
SIMON
Franks shows my work, Mr. Udall. I
think you know that.
FRANK
(overlapping)
Simon, you’ve got to get dressed.
MELVIN
(to Simon)
What I know is that as long as you
keep your work zipped up around
me, I don’t give a fuck what or
where you shove your show. Are we
being neighbors for now?
SIMON
(to Frank)
Do you still think I was
exaggerating?
FRANK can only smile.
FRANK
Definitely a package you don’t
want to open or touch.
MELVIN
Hope you find him. I love that
dog.
Simon, terminally non-confrontational, still finds
himself compelled to turn back toward Melvin.
SIMON
(directly)
You don’t love anything, Mr.
Udall.
Simon closes his door leaving Melvin alone in the
hallway.
MELVIN
I love throwing your dog down the
garbage chute.
INT. MELVIN’S APARTMENT, BATHROOM – NIGHT
Melvin locks and unlocks and locks his door, counting to
five with each lock. He turns the lights quickly on and
off and on five times and makes a straight-line towards
his bathroom where he turns on the hot water and opens
the medicine chest.
INT. MEDICINE CHEST
Scores of neatly stacked Neutrogena soaps. He unwraps
one — begins to wash — discards it — goes through the
process two more times.
INT. SIMON’S APARTMENT, ENTRANCE HALL – NIGHT
A group of PARTY GOERS enters — followed by a HANDYMAN
holding Verdell who looks and finds:
SIMON
who looks up — lights up — and tears up as he moves
quickly toward the group and his dog.
SIMON
Thank the good Lord… wow… my
honey… where have you been?
PARTY GOER
(thinking the greeting’s
for him)
He always liked me.
As Simon goes past him to take the dog from the
Handyman… JACKIE, Frank’s junior partner, barking a
laugh at the Party Goer — VERDELL BARKING some love. As
the others greet Simon, Jackie directs the group inside.
Jackie lingers, looking on affectionately as Simon picks
some awful, sticky gunk from the dog’s body… he puts
Verdell down to reach for his wallet — the tiny DOG YAPS
in protest.
SIMON
Just for a second, okay?
The DOG YAPS “no.” Simon, delighted, picks him up again.
SIMON
(kissing him on the mouth)
Look at him… where was little
baby?
HANDYMAN
(smiling)
In the basement garbage bin eating
diaper shit.
Simon reacts — then notices the Handyman, tongue in
cheek, trying to suppress his amusement.
SIMON
Go ahead, John, you earned your fun.
(looking at Verdell)
How did he get down in the
basement? I mean even if he got
on the elevator how… ?
HANDYMAN
Maybe some nice neighbor shoved
him down the garbage chute.
SIMON
My God! No!
He stares out… Frank frustrated following.
-
Daniel Turner’s Assignment #1
What I learned – What I learned with this assignment was the basic structure of a joke. To be completely truthful it was something that I had a grasp of intuitively but to have it shown in a concrete manner was very nice and helpful. It is what I like about this scene, it is all about incongruity with a nice rhythm to the set-ups and punchlines.
NINOTCHKA – 1939
FADE IN ON:
AN ESTABLISHING SHOT OF PARIS IN THE MONTH OF APRIL
DISSOLVE TO:
THE LUXURIOUS LOBBY OF THE HOTEL CLARENCE
CAMERA MOVES to a CLOSE SHOT of the desk. In the background
is a revolving door leading to the street. Through the
revolving door comes a strangely dressed individual, obviously
one who doesn’t belong in such surroundings. It is Comrade
Buljanoff, a member of the Russian Board of Trade. Despite
the spring climate of Paris, he still wears his typical
Russian clothes, consisting of a coat with a fur collar, a
fur cap, and heavy boots.
(SETUP – Incongruity from the beginning of the scene. A man dressed for winter on a lovely spring day enters a luxury hotel where he clearly doesn’t belong)
Buljanoff glances around the lobby, obviously over-whelmed
by its magnificence. The Manager, puzzled by Buljanoff’s
strange appearance, approaches him.
MANAGER
(politely)
Is there anything I can do for you,
monsieur?
BULJANOFF
No, no.
He exits toward the street. The Manager returns to his
customary duties, when suddenly a second Russian, similarly
dressed, pushes his way through the door and gazes around.
It is Comrade Iranoff.
The Manager, definitely mystified by now, approaches him.
(Setup – A second, clearly out of place man enters the scene.)
MANAGER
Yes, monsieur?
IRANOFF
Just looking around.
Iranoff exits. Again the Manager returns to his duties, when
suddenly he sees that a third man, dressed in the same
fashion, has appeared in the revolving door. It is Comrade
Kopalski.
Kopalski doesn’t leave the revolving door at all but as it
turns, drinks in the whole spectacle of the lobby. The Manager
is by now dumfounded.
(Setup – A third out of place man, it’s incongruity and begins to pique the viewer’s interest. They begin to wonder “what’s going on here?”)
STREET IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL CLARENCE
A taxi stands at the curb. Buljanoff and Iranoff are waiting
beside it, Iranoff holding a suitcase. Kopalski, returning
from the hotel, joins the group.
(More Set-up)
KOPALSKI
Comrades, why should we lie to each
other? It’s wonderful.
IRANOFF
Let’s be honest. Have we anything
like it in Russia?
ALL THREE
(agreeing with him)
No, no, no.
IRANOFF
Can you imagine what the beds would
be in a hotel like that?
KOPALSKI
They tell me when you ring once the
valet comes in; when you ring twice
you get the waiter; and do you know
what happens when you ring three
times? A maid comes in — a French
maid.
IRANOFF
(with a gleam in his
eye)
Comrades, if we ring nine times…
let’s go in.
BULJANOFF
(stopping him)
Just a minute — just a minute — I
have nothing against the idea but I
still say let’s go back to the Hotel
Terminus. Moscow made our reservations
there, we are on an official mission,
and we have no right to change the
orders of our superior.
IRANOFF
Where is your courage, Comrade
Buljanoff?
KOPALSKI
Are you the Buljanoff who fought on
the barricades? And now you are afraid
to take a room with a bath?
BULJANOFF
(stepping back into
the taxi)
I don’t want to go to Siberia.
Iranoff and Kopalski follow him reluctantly.
IRANOFF
I don’t want to go to the Hotel
Terminus.
(Set-up)
KOPALSKI
If Lenin were alive he would say,
“Buljanoff, Comrade, for once in
your life you’re in Paris. Don’t be
a fool. Go in there and ring three
times.”
IRANOFF
He wouldn’t say that. What he would
say is “Buljanoff, you can’t afford
to live in a cheap hotel. Doesn’t
the prestige of the Bolsheviks mean
anything to you? Do you want to live
in a hotel where you press for the
hot water and cold water comes and
when you press for the cold water
nothing comes out at all? Phooey,
Buljanoff!”
(Punchline)
BULJANOFF
(weakening)
I still say our place is with the
common people, but who am I to
contradict Lenin? Let’s go in.
All three start to leave the taxi, as we
DISSOLVE TO:
LOBBY — HOTEL CLARENCE — AT THE DESK
Buljanoff, Iranoff, and Kopalski are approaching the Manager,
their only suitcase carried by two of them.
KOPALSKI
Are you the manager?
MANAGER
(eyeing the three
suspiciously)
Yes.
KOPALSKI
Pardon me for introducing Comrade
Iranoff, member of the Russian Board
of Trade.
MANAGER
(bowing with strained
politeness)
Monsieur.
IRANOFF
This is Comrade Kopalski.
MANAGER
Monsieur.
BULJANOFF
I am Comrade Buljanoff.
MANAGER
Monsieur.
BULJANOFF
May I ask how much your rooms are?
(Set up)
MANAGER
(trying to get rid of
them)
Well, gentlemen, I’m afraid our rates
are rather high.
BULJANOFF
Why should you be afraid?
(Set-up)
The other two nod their agreement. The Manager has noted the
single suitcase.
MANAGER
(haughtily)
I might be able to accommodate you.
Is there some more luggage?
IRANOFF
Oh, yes, but have you a safe here
big enough to hold this?
MANAGER
I’m afraid we have no boxes of that
size in our vault, but there is one
suite with a private safe…
IRANOFF
That’s even better.
MANAGER
But, gentlemen, I am afraid…
(Set-up)
BULJANOFF
He’s always afraid.
(Punchline – Payoff)
The other two exchange a look of agreement again.
MANAGER
(a little annoyed)
I just wanted to explain. The
apartment may suit your convenience
but I doubt that it will fit your
convictions. It’s the Royal Suite.
(Set-up)
The mention of the Royal Suite startles the three.
(More set – up)
BULJANOFF
Royal Suite!
(To the manager)
Just a minute.
The Three Russians take a step away from the manager and go
into a huddle.
BULJANOFF
(in a low voice)
Now Comrades, I warn you… if it
gets out in Moscow that we stay in
the Royal Suite we will get into
terrible trouble.
IRANOFF
(defending his right
to a good time)
We’ll just say we had to take it on
account of the safe. That’s a perfect
excuse. There was no other safe big
enough.
The other two welcome the suggestion with relish.
BULJANOFF AND IRANOFF
That’s right. Good, very good.
Suddenly Buljanoff grows skeptical again.
(Final Set-up)
BULJANOFF
Of course, we could take out the
pieces and distribute them in three
or four boxes in the vault and take
a small room. That’s an idea, isn’t
it?
For a moment all three see their bright plans crumble. Then
Iranoff comes to the rescue.
(Big-payoff -Punchline)
IRANOFF
Yes, it’s an idea, but who says we
have to have an idea?
Buljanoff and Kopalski see the logic of this and their faces
light up.
BOTH
That’s right… that’s right.
BULJANOFF
(turning to the Manager)
Give us the Royal Suite.
The Manager leads the three toward the elevator. The CAMERA
FOLLOWS THEM and NARROWS DOWN to the suitcase carried by two
of the Russians.
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