Day 1 – What I learned …

[Nora B Anderson]

So, for Week 2, Day 1, Part 1, Sleepless in Seattle scene and what I learned: the parallels of their environment – on the phone at home, the radio on the car and the invisible thread of Dr. Marsha drawing them together – only happened because of the catalyst or kismet of Jonah, the kid. It’s not quite Deus Ex Machina, but more the emotional need for these people to connect, through the airwaves and later in person, brought about through the kid’s actions. So it feels like it’s “ok” to have characters brought together, belong together through an outside catalyst. It’s also a triangle – J, S, and A, or you could say J, S, and Dr. Marsha. This isn’t quite reworking and application to my story, but it helps me consider breaking out of the stale 1:1 mindset in dialogue.

[karl gromelski]

what I learned:
the best backstories are “forced” from your characters
In SLEEPLESS, Sam is stoic. He’s stated the theme earlier that you only find love once. The radio therapy session forces Sam to re-examine his life with Jonah and admit (outloud) that things could be better. that he’s trying but not succeeding at providing Jonah with the support he needs. but more importantly, that maybe, he should consider a new partner to make his house more of a home. Dr Marsha and Jonah force Sam to confront his feelings, his not sleeping – which Sam has be ignoring. Without this scene, Sam would never admit that he needs to change. This is the first time that Sam acknowledges that maybe he should change – do things differently.
In TOMBSTONE – Doc uses his education to take the high road and show up Johnny who seems to be all bluster. But this forces Johnny to retaliate in Latin showing that: a.) he’s a formidable opponent and b.) that he’s as smart and educated as Doc. Neither have any use for Latin in the things they do – but by speaking it in a saloon, it demonstrates how these two gunslingers are intellectually smarter than they appear – and they’re slumming it among the common folks. Having Doc speak Latin forces Johnny to reveal himself – which is a surprise and much more interesting than having them compare their university degrees & school upbringing.

[Sherry Miller]

Sleepless in Seattle is one of my favorite Rom Coms. Written and directed by the inspiring Nora Ephron. Wish she were still with us. She had her own unique style and sensibility to character as well as unique sense of humor she brought not only to her writing but to public interviews she did. She displayed a certain intelligence she also brought to her writing. Can’t imagine any other actors other than Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan playing the parts. They had a certain chemistry which made the characters funny, charming, and believable. So, there’s a lot at play to this “Belonging Together” thing. I almost think if I can imagine a certain actor playing the parts in my writing I could actually improve my scenes/novel. So…this is an interesting Triangle and don’t think it would’ve worked as well without Sam’s son, Jonah. Jonah makes the phone call to Dr. Marsha’s psychology show because he’s concerned about his Father after his spouse and Jonah’s mother passed away a year and a half earlier. I believe they moved from Chicago to Seattle to get away. What’s magical and evident in Ephron’s scripts is how fate doesn’t seem forced. Kismet, yes, as Annie tunes in while switching channels on the very night Jonah calls in. That special magic falls into place throughout the movie as Annie believes in “meant to be. It’s a sign.” Jonah is so necessary, a catalyst to this scene. Traits: concern, sentimental, belief in true love, commitment, devotion, even melancholy, caring. Private and polite. Christmas is the perfect time for memories here. “You can tell a lot from a person’s voice,” the Dr. says. Sam’s voice turns gentle, soft, and sad when talking about his wife. What’s interesting is the breakthrough Annie realizes as she quietly answers the questions posed to Sam. She finishes his sentences with answers the same as his or fills in when he doesn’t answer at all. She looks startled by that. “My wife, she made everything beautiful,” he says. In Annie’s face, you can see how much she wishes someone would feel the same about her. Sam, reluctant at first, realizes maybe he should finish grieving, take a chance again. A breakthrough for him.
In my own work, at the end of Chapter One, my main character is being pushed out of Missus’s life. Missus wishes the best for Mattie and even makes arrangements for her safety on her long journey to Illinois from Louisiana. Missus’s sister is the third character, the catalyst to make it happen. She screams at Mattie, entices her sister to be meaner. Dilly, the sister, even frightens Mattie about a faraway wolf waiting for her. When the doors slam closed, locking Mattie out of the world she knew, she bangs and bangs, pleading, begging to stay. Then, a figure walks out of the dark as the rising sun glows in the sky, to usher Mattie on her way. I left out the dialogue here. But still show how the triangle, I believe, is working. I rewrote that scene so many times and believe that I do have “belonging together” between Mattie and Missus. (She’s also carrying memories of her brother with her in her mojo bag. “Belonging together” lost to her when he was taken away from her). She will experience a stronger belonging when she meets Wild Bill Hickok in another chapter.

[Sherry Miller]

What I learned….
Here is a scene from my novel, “Without Whimsey.” I’m starting mid-scene with 3 characters. Mattie is hiding, listening to an exchange between Wild Bill Hickok and his Mother as she disciplines him for his usual mischief. It’s a family “belonging” as Bill and Mama Polly (his Mother) actually lovingly playact with each other. Mattie’s wound: Being abandoned by the only family she knew as well as separated from her brother, realizes she wants to be part of a family like the Hickoks and sees how much Wild Bill reminds her of Whimsey. Wild Bill is 12 years old in this book.
“James Hickok!”
“Yes, Mama?”
The woman stepped farther out on the porch. When she held up her hand to shade out the sun, Mattie saw her clearly. She wore a simple dress, purple and white cotton, that skimmed her ankles. And her face looked a little brown, probably worn by time spent in the sun.
“James. Some of my canning jars are missing again. Did YOU see them?”
“Jars?” Jimmy stuck his hands in his pockets, shifted side to side. Oh Lordy, Mattie thought, was he signaling her to lie to his very own Mama, too?
“Haven’t seen the jars , uh, lately, ma’am.” Jimmy side-stepped toward Mattie. Just a couple feet separated them. He held a glass jar behind his back. What? Why? He turned, thrust it at Mattie. “Quick,” he whispered. “get rid of it.”
Mattie caught it. Though she didn’t know why she would help an outlaw like this, she set it down next to the milk pail.
“James?”
“Yes, Mama?”
“You’re not breaking my jars again?” Her hands rested on her hips.
“Accidentally not!” He blushed, brushed his foot back and forth across the dirt. Mattie wondered at the word, “accidentally.” By the grins on both their faces, she guessed this was a special joke between them.
“Have you done the milking yet?” The woman’s voice rose higher, like she was amused. Like this was a game they regularly played.
“Yes ma’am. A pail’s by the door here.” Jimmy moved in front of the pail to cover up the jar. Mattie squirmed. No. She wouldn’t be part of his stealing jars. Or having Aunt Polly mad at her, too. She wished he’d hush.
“And the eggs. How about the eggs?”
“Not yet, ma’am.”
“Well, shoo, shoo. Gather some eggs. We need about two dozen for breakfast.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Then put the rest of the eggs in the limewater pail so they’ll keep.” She paused, wrung her hands. “I do hope your father’s more careful this time.”
“Don’t worry. Ain’t nothin’ gonna happen to my Dad. I won’t let it.”
“Last time, he overturned the wagon on those mud roads. So much rain and he was goin’ so fast. Sometimes that man takes great pleasure when things get exciting around here. And you take after my Bill, I fear. So much so that you’re a real wild boy yourself. That’s what you are. A real wild Bill.”
“Yes, ma’am.” A smile filled half his face and his chest puffed out as he stretched.
Mattie rolled her eyes. Then… she wished for Whimsey. Whimsey, where are you?. Please find me somehow.
**What I learned is to pay more attention to past wounds. It helps to direct dialogue. And actions. Later in this chapter, I may have Mattie, who’s feeling mad and lost, take James Hickok’s slingshot and keep shooting it in frustration.

[Rebecca Sukle]

Rebecca’s Searching for Breakthroughs

The character is a father struggling to do what's best for his motherless son. He seeks help from an online radio psychologist, at his son’s urging, where his son reveals the father’s insomnia. The psychologist suggests the father might miss a partner as much as the boy needs his mother. The conversation is interrupted by a commercial break, but the father remains on the line, showing his need for help. A woman listening in her car feels a connection. This moment raises several questions: Will the father act on his new insight? Will he and the listener connect? What is her need?

This short scenes shows the character of the father, relationship with his son, insight from the radio therapist asking the right questions, and a shows a possible new future for the father with the introduction of the compassionate listener. Impressive set up for things to come.

Reflecting on what I learned from rewriting a pivotal scene in my script, "Blood on Coal," I made significant changes to a key moment where Albert runs away with Betts on a rowboat, escaping her controlling fiancé. Both Albert and Betts are hesitant to admit their enduring love, despite five years of separation and misunderstandings caused by external factors. This scene marks their first private conversation since Albert returned home a year earlier.

Albert needed to understand why Betts quit writing during his Marine deployment, why she dated his brother Ervin and then got engaged to Harry. She accuses Albert of not answering her letters. She befriended Ervin but pushed him away by getting involved with Harry. Betts loves Ervin as a friend but dislikes Harry. Albert expresses his belief that they were meant to be together and asks, "What about me?" She removes her glasses to wipe her tears, and they share a passionate kiss, changing their lives. New challenges include Betts breaking off the engagement with Harry while keeping her reputation and protecting Albert’s relationship with Ervin.

• This reply was modified 10 months, 1 week ago by  Rebecca Sukle.