-
Day 10 Assignment
Post your assignment by replying here.
-
9 Replies
-
What I learned doing this assignment is lining up the ABC story keeps the plots tight and gives you the direction needed to develop each story, remembering that the A story is the largest and the B story has more than C, which is not very significant. I was also able to drill the concept and inciting incident down to one sentence. The beats are fun to do as it’s creating the world you’ve built, but it also makes you think about dialogue.
-
What I learned is there are so many directions a pilot can take. Just typing out 20+ scenes in order, pointing at inciting incidents, and getting the viewers intrigued by storylines is really exciting.
My show’s concept is that an alien race is secretly subverting the human race and the military is unable to stop them. So they keep it a secret to protect society’s institutions until a solution can be found.
Story A – Rebecca has a missing time event and becomes obsessed with discovering who or what is responsible for the event. But she finds out her whole life has repressed the facts, she too is an abductee.
Story B – The USAF runs counterintelligence operations to stop UFO knowledge while concurrently kidnapping abductees to gather information but making it look like discredited alien abductions.
Story C – Julianne has been an unwilling participant helping the Extra-Terrestrials and is trying to find a way out. But she also needs to figure out how to save her human-hybrid offspring.
1. EXT. WOODS – NIGHT
Teaser – A woman is running in the woods, circa 17th century.
2. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Intro to Rebecca – Personality – Relationship to world, husband
3. INT. CAFE – DAY
Julianne is in the bar. Not drinking – Talks about Farm
4. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Jacob stops in to question Rebecca
5. INT. CAFE – DAY
Jacob gets police report – Shows his local connections and personality
6. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
MRI showed an object in the sinus. But also she is pregnant. Wants her to stay for observation.
7. INT HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Thinks she must have been kidnapped. She Calls Jacob,
8. EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Deeper Julianne world and children.
9. INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY – NIGHT
Jakob helps R escape
10. INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Julianne Being kidnapped
11. INT. CAR – NIGHT
Going to the Farm
12. EXT CAR LOT – NIGHT
13. EXT CITY STREET – DAY
CI Agent dies
14. INT OFFICE – DAY
Intro to Lukas as a character.
15. EXT WOODS – DAY
Meets the caretaker White Bear
16. INT CABIN – NIGHT
Rebecca stays the night at the Farm and is told of the lore and paranormal stories
17. INT CABIN BEDROOM – NIGHT
Rebecca has a dream
18. INT – HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Sees Lukas on TV talking about the recent UFO sightings in town – Calls him.
19.
20. EXT CITY STREET DAY.
Julianne teaching Hybrid how to live a human life
21. INT HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Julianne at Hospital not pregnant
22. EXT WOODS – NIGHT
White Bear Gets a message from the land, white orbs lead him to Elizabeth
23. EXT FARM – NIGHT
White Bear finds the abducted victim Rebecca is looking for, Elizabeth on his land. Takes her back to the cabin.
24. INT OFFICE – DAY
Lukas finds out from an informant that Elizabeth is at the ranch
25. INT OFFICE – DAY
Jacob received what he thinks are stolen top-secret files about the USAF knowledge of Aliens and UFOs
26. INT CAFE – DAY
Jacob asks Rebecca to use her United Nations contacts. Little does he know Lukas will be her fact-checker.
27. INT OFFICE – DAY
Keeps Rebecca off of his report about the recent abductions.
28. INT HOTEL – DAY
Are told by White Bear that Elizabeth is at the Farm. They go to meet her.
29. INT CABIN – NIGHT
Lukas and agents are kidnapping Elizabeth and making it look like a UFO abduction. Lukas and Rebecca see it from afar but are too late.
30. INT OFFICE – NIGHT
Rebecca is hypnotically regressed by Julianne
31. EXT ROADSIDE – NIGHT
Shows Rebecca remembering that she was also taken aboard a spacecraft with strange alien beings that night.
-
Daniel Melin’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is the value of getting to play a little after the hard work of planning. A lot of the previous lessons felt like a slog, but they helped make this lesson easier. Now that I can trust that the most important structural steps are there, I can just go by feel, and fill in any blanks that were left over.
A story = High Concept story: Levi hunts down the deer,
and learns magic.
B story = Colleagues and Competitors: Titania defends
the borders of Everlasting Summer.
C story = Other relationships: Nathaniel and Catherine
try to get Talia out of the mental institution.· Show Concept: An aspiring magician decides to lift a curse his mentor has placed on several young men and master new and darker forms of magic, while navigating the magical underworld that threatens to consume his small, Midwestern city.
· Inciting Incident:
o Act 1: Levi works for his friend’s contracting company, which he finds unfulfilling and spends his nights in the fairy realm of Everlasting Summer, hunting in the woods and learning magic.
o Midpoint: Levi finds out that one of Titania’s wolves broke into Athens through the portal he opened, and that he was actually a werewolf.
o Lock-In: Levi agrees to study with Mark, and figure out a way to lift Titania’s curse.
Teaser:
EXT. Forest—Night
Levi and Titania chase a deer through the forest with a pack of three wolves.
INT. Castle Hall—Night
Back at the castle of Everlasting Summer, Levi asks Titania why he can’t practice magic outside of Everlasting Summer.
INT. Castle Hall—Night
Titania’s huntsman tells her that Puck has disappeared.
INT. Castle Hall—Night
Levi dances until his alarm wakes him up, and he is back in his apartment in Minneapolis.
Act 1:
EXT. Suburban House—Day
Levi meets Miguel at the job-site and Miguel instructs Levi on where the tools are, warning him to put everything back when he’s done.
INT. Suburban House—Day
Levi and Jorge work on the flooring while Miguel takes a call.
INT. Suburban House—Day
Miguel and Jorge get into an argument and Jorge storms off the site.
INT. Kitchen Table—Night
Levi has dinner with his parents and two sisters. His parents say they are going to visit Talia in the hospital and ask if Levi would like to go. He says no.
EXT. Suburban House—Day
The next day, Miguel tells Levi that Jorge quit, and asks him if he doesn’t mind working a little bit later
Act 2:
INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night
Miguel makes fun of Levi for his interest in magic at Clarence’s. Levi enchants a picture hanging on the wall so that it moves.
EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night
A cop responds to a disturbance at Clarence’s. A deer breaks through the glass door and runs off. He shoots at a wild dog that attacks him, but the dog runs off.
INT. Mental Hospital—Day
Nathaniel and Catherine visit their daughter Talia in the mental institution.
EXT. Forest—Night
Levi travels through the forest passageway to Everlasting Summer, and sees a shadowy figure lurking in the trees.
EXT. Castle Grounds—Night
Titania shows Levi that the moon is no longer full and tells him that he will have to repair the portal he has opened between Everlasting Summer and Athens.
Act 3:
EXT. Road—Day
Levi almost hits a deer on his way into work.
EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day
Levi goes to Clarence’s to find it closed. A strange man tells Levi about what happened the previous night.
INT. Tower—Night
The huntsman asks Titania what they are going to do. Titania says that he will be responsible for making sure Levi catches the deer without any complications arising.
EXT. Castle Garden—Night
Levi tells Titania that he cannot access the portal he made without using more magic, and that the deer and one of the wolves are now in Athens. Titania says that she will send Levi back with the huntsman to chaperone him.
EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night
Levi and the huntsman break into Clarence’s using magic. They find that the painting is now missing.
EXT. Levi’s Apartment Building—Night
The stranger from earlier confronts Levi and shows him that he has the painting. He introduces himself as Mark and says that he too is a magician.
Act 4:
INT. Bar—Night
Levi goes out for drinks with Miguel, who asks him about the events at Clarence’s. Levi slips the potion into Miguel’s drink.
EXT. Suburban House—Day
The next day Levi asks Miguel about the painting, but Miguel doesn’t remember anything.
INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day
Mark tells Levi that Titania can’t be trusted, and that he will need his help if he is going to stop her. He offers to teach Levi magic.
Act 5:
INT. Levi’s Apartment—Night
The huntsman informs Levi that they will now be hunting in Athens every full moon.
INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day
Levi agrees to learn magic from Mark, who says they will have to infiltrate Everlasting Summer without Titania knowing.
-
Renee Brown’s Beat sheet
Aliens’ Earth
High Concept:
When a strange planet parks between earth and mars, humanity learns that alien factions have inhabited earth for eons. When a war begins, and humans learn the truth about earth’s hidden past, Earth Aliens and humans must unite against a common foe before everyone on earth is annihilated.
Inciting Incident: When planet X is mistakenly uncloaked, Dauntus leverages the chaos to make his play for world domination.
A Story: The Earth Aliens – Tallas, Anauk and Saltar have to stop Dauntus’ Coup. It, paired with Planet X being uncloaked could blow everyone’s cover.
B Story: The Human Liaison – Steelman teams up with the three aliens to stop Dauntus.
C Story: The Prophecy – Tallas is faking prophecy to maintain the peace between alien factions and humanity.
Teaser:
Int. Skyflier Cloud Citadel – Control Room – Night
Intro Anauk, Sister, Dauntus. Planet X is uncloaked – Dauntus beats Anauk and declares coup.
Act 1:
Int. Tallas’ Temple cavern – Night
Intro Tallas. Teaching young initiates. They press him about the prophecy. He dodges. Retreats into…
Int. Tallas’ water gazing room
Conversation with high priest – why so dodgy. Establish prophecy issue.
Int. Entry to Tallas’ water gazing room
Priest exits – says Tallas is not to be disturbed. Closes ouroboros stone.
Int. Tallas’ water gazing room
Tallas throws prophecy papers into fire… then retrieves them.
Act 2:
Int. Skyflier Cloud Citadel – launch dock – Night
Anauk stumbles to his sm. Cruiser ship. Suffers to get his broken wind inside.
Ext. Skyflier Cloud Citadel
Anauk flies away.
Int. Anauk’s Cruiser ship
Hails Tallas. Is told Tallas is in seclusion.
Int. Skyflier Cloud Citadel – throne hall
Dauntus is told Anauk has flown off.
Dauntus orders Anauk to be shot down.
Sister pleads/ yells.
Dauntus issues alt. order to kill Anauk’s communications.
Int. Tallas’ Temple cavern
Initiate tells Anauk ouroboros stone has been sealed. Cannot be re-opened for 3 hours.
Int. Anauk’s Cruiser
Anauk is arguing with initiate to get to Tallas when his coms go down.
Changes course and heads out to sea.
Ext. ocean-Dawn
Anauk’s cruiser skims the waves then dives deep.
Int. Deep Sea – Deeper Palace – establishing
As Anauk’s cruiser approaches, a shield raises around the palace.
Int. Deeper Palace – Saltar’s chambers.
Intro Saltar. She is informed Planet X is uncloaked and Anauk is outside.
Ext. Deep Sea
Anauk uses his cruiser to bump at Saltar’s chamber window.
Int. Deeper Palace – Saltar’s Chambers
Saltar rolls her eyes and lets him in – cool Deeper bio tech intro.
Anauk collapses his ship into a palm sized puck – cool Skyflier tech intro.
Urgent conversation about reaching Tallas.
Saltar can get to him. Everyone’s like… um? Really.
Est. Tallas hates Saltar. Saltar knows a way, Anauk can’t go.
Ext. Deeper Palace
Saltar swims out – est. shape shifting – mermaid like.
Int. Deeper Palace
Anauk makes puck back into ship, leaves
Ext. Ocean – Day
Anauk’s cruiser bursts out of the waves. Heads toward land.
He knows the way into Tallas’ underground.
Int. Tallas’ water gazing cave.
Tallas in trance. Sees in water – humanity’s chaos and uncloaked Planet X.
Int. Tallas’ Temple cavern
Anauk arrives, pucks his ship, and plants himself at the ouroboros stone.
Int. Tallas’ water gazing cave.
Saltar arrives in cave via water.
Stalls for a bit to get a meaningful look at Tallas.
Tallas’ Vision interrupted by images of the Starfinder ship being destroyed by Deepers long ago.
Saltar can’t help herself – says it wasn’t the Deepers.
ACT 3:
Kung foo fight. Turns hot. Est. attraction between sworn enemies.
Saltar ends fight by telling Tallas about Dauntus’ coup.
Int. Tallas’ Temple cavern
Ouroboros stone rolls back. Tallas, Saltar and Anauk together. Initiates gape.
Int. forever elevator cavern
T, S and A load up in the forever elevator (because it takes forever to get to the surface)
Int. Steelman HQ – Steelman’s home (1970’s ranch) – Basement
Basement is 5 times bigger than house above.
Wall 30’ high with monitor like images. Humanity. Chaos. Planet X.
Row of monitors with other alien Liaisons – yelling.
XUS monitor blank.
Steelman and his partner watch.
Concealed door (forever elevator) opens. T, S, and A unload.
Steelman points to Planet X, demands explanation.
Info: They don’t know exactly. Skyfliers cloaked it, but Planet X has its own com cloak too.
Tallas can’t get through with his telepathy. XUS wants it cloaked until they know what it is.
Reveal Dauntus plan to Steelman.
Everything goes black. Only thing glowing is Anauk’s wrist band.
Ext. Park – Day
People. Cell phones going dark.
Int. Living room
TV goes dark
Ext. Times square
Everything goes dark.
Int. Steelman HQ
Dauntus’ face on all the screens.
Ext. Park – Day
His voice on all the phones.
Int. Living room
Dauntus addresses humanity
Ext. Times square
Declares world domination.
ACT 4:
Int. Steelman HQ
Steelman sends his man to Whitehouse with POTUS brief.
Coverup.
Gets Anauk to take them to stop Dauntus
Int. Anauk’s cruiser
They are all crammed in… heading to Dauntus’ citadel.
Int. Skyflier Citadel
Anauk’s sister keeps guards from sounding alarm.
Int. Skyflier throne room
Alien standoff. About to get messy.
ACT 5:
Summons comes in from XUS- like parents to obstinate children.
Int. Dark Side of the Moon – XUS floor
Skyflier diplomat humiliates and shames Dauntus.
Deeper and Longhead diplomat joins in the summons.
Int. Skyflier throne room
Dauntus goes on tirade about being in charge when “they come back”
Steelman takes his weapon.
Steelman told by XUS he need not come.
After they click off, Tallas insists that steelman IS coming with them to the XUS, but they will have to disguise him.
-
What I learned in this assignment is that this is the threshold crossed when a story turns from nebulous cloud to focused narrative.
-
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I’m not finished yet, but here’s a starter. I’ve taken the 50 pages of script that I’d already written last year and I can already see that it’s plodding along….
So let’s press the reset button…on Green Lake…
Intriguing World:
A. A sleepy vacation town where everyone flocks to in the summer
B. Through the eyes of a big city Detective who used to summer vacation there with her family growing up
C. As she strives to become the Sheriff by disrupting the town’s illicit activities
Intriguing Concept:
After her ambitions are thwarted, Jess Pearson, a big city senior detective accepts a transfer to a remote jurisdiction. Within a day of her arrival, she’s sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in similar circumstances to that of her brother Adam’s disappearance five years before and in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation. Can Jess quickly solve both cases to become the Sheriff elect while bringing her brother home? And can she learn to live with the locals especially her one true love, Sarah Watson, architect and artist on a mission to green Green Lake.
I’ve omitted character names for now….not sure if that’s what we are meant to do…
Green Lake
A story: A Senior Detective and colleagues solving cases.
B story: Competitors so Jess and Sheriff Moore; Jess and the Trafficking Network.
C story: Love story between Jess and Sarah.
MORE TO FOLLOW…
CURRENT SCRIPT OUTLINE GREEN LAKE PILOT:
TEASER
Essence of scenes 1 through 7 (the teaser) is to introduce the main mystery and the three characters murdered or disappeared.
1 EXT. REMOTE HIGHWAY – DUSK
CAPTION: Present Day
A dark-blue PICK-UP TRUCK travels along a remote single-lane highway bounded by dense forest.
2 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK
Two men and a woman travelling in a pickup truck. The male passenger in the front seat wants to pull over to go to the washroom. The male driver protests. Passenger grabs wheel and pulls them onto a dirt track road. Driver and Passenger almost get into a fight. Female rear passenger calms things down.
3 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – DIRT ROAD – DUSK
The pick-up kicks up dust as it bounces over the dirt track.
4 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK
Nature protecting itself from humans. Female passenger protecting herself from nature.
5 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK
The male Passenger exits the truck. Walks into human garbage. Is angry. Humans have damaged nature. The local wildlife are watching him.
6 INT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – OUTHOUSE – DUSK
Male passenger enters the outhouse. He’s afraid. Has a phobia about the monster in the toilet. Is he on drugs or is he sick?
7 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK
Male Passenger exits the outhouse. He’s happy. The birds block his path back to the truck. He hears their agitation then silence. He calls out to his two friends. He sees they’ve been attacked and are dead. A shadow flits behind him.
ACT 1
8 INT. BLACK SUV – DAY
A female detective is driving and turns off the highway to the crime scene.
9 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – ENTRANCE – DAY
A female detective introduces herself to the Officer guarding the crime scene. Officer warns her of what’s ahead.
10 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DAY
The Detective exits her car and surveys the crime scene. The Sheriff approaches and she introduces herself. But they already know each other. Sheriffs asks the Detective to keep an open mind and not conflate with her brother’s case.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Barbara Gilmore.
-
This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
-
Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 10 Beat Sheet
What I learned from doing this assignment is to focus on the stories A, B, and C and how they fit together.
Show Concept: A successful lobbyist must unravel the mystery of her past life in a world of money, power, and family secrets to escape her present-day danger.
Inciting Event: When Sam slips into a coma, his estranged son Carlton arrives to take control of his affairs and cut Grace out of his life.
Story A: Past life mission to unravel secrets and unfinished business that endanger her today.
Story B: Family issues/relationships
Story C: Politicians, financiers, lobbyists, and media.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>TEASER
INT – Library
Description: Grace peruses the books on the shelf and selects a few. With political news of an indictment in the background, she walks to the sofa and selects the items one by one placing them neatly in a box. She logs onto the computer and prints some documents.
INT – MD Office
Description: Sam sees patients in a busy physicians’ office. He receives a phone call that changes his bedside demeaner.
INT- Grace bedroom.
Grace dresses for a formal dinner fundraiser.
INT – MD Office
Sam changes into a tux for the fundraiser.
INT – Fundraiser at private club
Grace and Sam interact with politicians, lobbyists, and philanthropists and discuss the indictment. A shock and concern to everyone.
INT – Grace and Sam apartment
For their fifth anniversary, Grace surprises Sam with a trip to Paris and he asks her to be the executor of his will.
ACT 1:
INT – Library
Sam sits at the desk and works on his Last will and testament. He watches the financial news closely.
Financial news speculations link with indictment.
EXT – Outside Park
Grace is with a trainer and talks about trip to Paris and her relationship with Sam.
INT – Carlton’s office Wall Street
The man on the tv is in his office on the phone. His administrative assistant arrives with 2 lawyers, and he is served papers. He hangs the phone up and places another call and leaves message for his mother to call him back.
INT – Sam and Grace apartment building
Sam takes the elevator down to the basement storage unit. He sits on a chair and sifts through papers. He places in a box and labels, FOR GRACE.
INT – Grace stops at the French restaurant and picks up food and returns home to find Sam unconscious.
ACT 2
INT – Hospital room
Sam is unconscious hooked up to several machines. Grace sits by his bedside and waits for any sign of life.
INT – Carlton’s office Wall Street
Carlton reads through his ex-wife’s case against him while he listens to the indictment news. He receives the new and immediately makes plans to be out of the office.
INT – Hospital room
Grace awakes to the MD and Carlton. She recognizes Carlton from the TV and finds out he is Sam’s estranged son. He is here to take over Sam’s affairs.
INT – Grace and Sam’s apartment
Grace returns home to find Mia the housekeeper. They search for any documents that concern Sam’s estate. Later that night, Grace calls Wilson, an unscrupulous political operative to investigate the situation.
INT – Hospital room
Grace with doctor and nurse: Without medical power of attorney, there is nothing they can do. Grace calls an attorney and explores her options.
Later that afternoon, Carlton arrives with documents from an attorney that give him power over Sam’s affairs. He asks Grace when she can move out. He would like to move his father to his home for hospice.
ACT 3
INT – Grace and Sam’s apartment
Grace reminisces about Sam and continues to search for documents.
Later she receives a call from Wilson who lets her know that something doesn’t match up with Carlton’s hedge fund. He needs more time and offers her a place to stay. She asks him about the indictment.
Grace exhausts options to stay in her home with no success and starts packing.
ACT 4
INT – Hospital room
Carlton is on phone and explains to his mother that he will take control of Sam’s affairs.
Grace arrives and Carlton asks her to say goodbye to Sam. Grace is heartbroken and must move out by the end of the week.
INT – Grace’s car
Grace meets Wilson at the apartment building to view the apartment. Investigation continues and uncovers more danger.
Grace moves. The box with FOR GRACE is accidentally delivered to her neighbor.
ACT 5
INT – Hospital room
Sam wakes up from the coma and asks for Grace. Carlton tells him she has left.
INT – Grace apartment
Grace wakes up to loud music and the smell of pot. She walks out on the balcony to see her next door neighbor smoking weed.
EXT – Grace apartment
Harmony Rose meets Grace. She points out a man in a car with a camera across the street and tells Grace about the box. Wilson calls with more information that links Carlton with the indictment.
INT – Staircase to basement
Harmony Rose and Grace race down the staircase with the box. Grace falls and lands on a 1884 NYC stage.
-
Molly McNeal Carrington Manor, Beat Sheet
What I learned during this assignment was I had some spots that visually would have been really boring. I was able to mix up camera shots and angles to make it more interesting.
Show Concept: Concept: An underhanded skilled nursing facility that neglects their patients joins forces with Gwenn, an Occupational Therapy Assistant who is in debt to her eyeballs in student loans.
Inciting Incident: Gwenn is a yes person who wants to please everyone but quickly finds her job will be almost possible to accomplish unless she fraudulently bills medicare. After discovering her student loan creditors have threatened to keep her from renewing her license to work in healthcare she is forced to start making payments towards her loans and start really kissing ass at her new job and at the same time, convince her demented mother to sign over her Power Of Attorney in the hopes that she can pay off her student loan debt.
A Story: Gwenn is working for Carrington Manor a corrupt skilled nursing facility that is asking their people to fraudulently bill medicare.
B Story: Gwenn’s mom Story is demented, Gwenn is trying to get her to sign over her Power of Attorney.
C Story: All the main characters are being introduced with all their quirkiness.
TEASER
INT. Gwenn’s mermaid bathroom day
Description: Gwenn Brushing her teeth
INT. Halls of Carrington Manor
Description Black and white camera shot of feet running
INT Gwenns Bathroom day
Description: Gwenn brushing teeth
INT Halls of Carrington Manor Floor: black and white cameras on police boots and plastic urinal is dropped.
INT Gwenns Bathroom floor
Close Up of skeleton key and bill for collections next to name badge
Description Orientation day
ACT 1
INT. Orientation room
Description Close up on movie playing
INT. Hallway
Description Gwenn answers phone call from Terry
INT. Gwenn’s apartment
Description Gwenn collects her drugs
INT. Darla’s Office Day
Description Darla makes copies of drugs and sends Gwenn back to orientation
ACT 2
INT. Halls of Carrignton Manor
Description Karly shows the group the building and patients
EXT Front of Carrington Manor
Description: Gwenn gets a call from her mother and steps outside to chat.
INT Therapy Office in old Supply closet
Description Gwenn is introduced to the staff.
INT Hallway
Description: Terry thanks everyone for their great work, super lovey dovey then she brings up her partner to thank. People are uncomfortable because they don’t know if it’s a guy or girl. (heck of a person eh?)
ACT 3
INT Spirit’s Condo
Description: Spirit calls to accuse her daughter of stealing her clothes. INT Supply Closet Office
Description: Terry comes in to see if Gwenn needs anything, and shows her pictures of her “partner”.
INT Spirits Condo
Description: Spirit looks at her phone and thinks she hangs up on Gwenn but accidently calls her back
INT Carrington Manor Gym
Description Another phone conversation with Spirit the audience is getting the idea she is still demented.
Act 4
INT Carrington Manor gym
Description: Gwenn gets the tour of the gym from Sally. Sally informs Gwenn that the only way to succeed is to fraudulently bill medicare.
INT Hallway
Gwenns mom calls again demented no Powe of Attonrey and she is bathing her cat.
INT GYM
Terry walks in looking for Abigail and mumbling under breath.
INT Hallway
Gwenn goes to help patient who slipped on dog poop. Gwenn ends up running out of the room being chased by the dog.
EXT OUTSIDE ENTRYWAY CM
Description: Gwenn checks her pockets and realizes there is no phone, she turns to return to the building.
INT FRONT ENTRYWAY
Description Gwenn sees the phone next to the snarling dog, and a squirrel runs by as the dog leaves Gwenn to chase the squirrel. Gwenn grabs phone and walks outside.
EXT OUTSIDE ENTRYWAY CM
Description: Gwenn listens to the message on Speaker phone as she sits on the sidewalk, APS calls and she hangs up on it and walks away.
Closing song
-
So I’m still not 100% on whether Act 1 will be act 1 or revealed later on…
Green Lake
A story: A Senior Detective solving cases.
B story: Relationships so Jess and Sheriff Moore; Jess and the Trafficking Network.
C story: Love story between Jess and Sarah, other family relationships
Intriguing Concept:
After her ambitions are thwarted, Jess Pearson, a big city senior detective accepts a transfer to a remote jurisdiction. Within a day of her arrival, she’s sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in similar circumstances to that of her brother Adam’s disappearance five years before and in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation. Can Jess quickly solve both cases to become the Sheriff elect while bringing her brother home? And can she learn to live with the locals especially her one true love, Sarah Watson, architect and artist on a mission to green Green Lake.
Act 1:
Jess is presented as a Big City Detective who has recently been denied a promotion following the loss of a high profile case. Instead she’s offered a transfer to a remote jurisdiction and a demotion from Sergeant to Senior Detective. Within a day of her arrival, she’s sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation and where her brother, Adam disappeared five years ago.
Midpoint:
Jess believes that Sherriff Linda Moore botched the investigation of her brother’s disappearance and is determined to solve both cases with or without the Sheriff’s help.
As Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics are low. Jess starts searching the office and discovers Sheriff Moore’s little black book of actual crime statistics, now she suspects that the Sheriff is corrupt.
Lock In:
Against her better judgement, Jess uses her secret hacking skills that got her reassigned and demoted and soon uncovers a local Trafficking Network that may be connected to the recent murders and unsolved cases, including Adam’s. She goes along on a planned meet up to find out who is involved.
Inciting Incident:
At the meet up is Captain Anderson, Bill Smith (Luke’s father), Sarah Watson, and Sheriff Moore.
May or may not include this as Act 1 may begin from Act 2
Act 1:
Essence: Senior Detective Jess Pearson is in court to give evidence on a high-profile money laundering case when she becomes unstuck by one of the judge’s questions.
Turning Point: Jess is reassigned to another jurisdiction – because her illegal hacking skills (not yet revealed) cost the department a high-profile case.
Act 1:
o Main Mystery: Why did the city team lose their case?
o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Jess sent to another office and not fired; why is she being sent to this office?
o Turning Point: Jess’ Boss gives her a second chance go work with Captain Anderson he supports the County Sheriff’s office out at Green Lake.
o Forced Decision: Must do the thing they would never do. Jess is reassigned to another department one that is in the same jurisdiction where she used to summer vacation which means she has to confront her past.
o Main Open Loop: How will Jess react to being reassigned to Green Lake which is where she used to summer vacation and where her brother disappeared?
o Sub-Open Loops: How will Jess react to being demoted?
Act 2:
Essence: Jess arrives at her new office and within a day is sent to Green Lake to investigate a double murder of Anna Cole and Steve Beresford, and the disappearance of Luke Smith.
Turning Point/Midpoint: Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics are low.
Act 2:
o Main Mystery: A couple (Anna & Steve) are stabbed at a Trail Head Rest Stop and their friend, Luke Smith, disappears. Who killed them and why?
o Sub-Mysteries: Why did they stop when they were only ten minutes from home?
o Main Open Loop: Will Jess solve the recent murder of the couple (Anna & Steve) and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith.
o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.
o Exposed: Something hidden about the character is uncovered, either good or bad. How does the character respond. Jess’ secret hacking skills (not widely known) derail her department’s high profile court case and they lose. Those skills are only known to some who will go on to exploit Jess who wants these skills to remain a secret for fear of losing her Detective’s badge.
Act 3:
Essence: Jess reconnects with her ex-lover, love of her life, and best friend, Sarah Watson for support.
Turning Point: Sarah’s boyfriend, Nick Milford, who found the victims bodies, is now the department’s prime suspects.
Act 3:
o Main Mystery: Is Nick their killer?
o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick at the Trail Head stop?
o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?
o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.
o Emotional Dilemma: Must choose between two equally distressing choices. Sarah must choose between Jess and Nick.
o Betrayal: The violation of a trust, relationship, or contract that results in physical or psychological damage. Jess and Sarah share a secret about Sarah’s parents death. However, both are oblivious to the fact that someone else witnessed the event and has already blackmailed Sarah and will blackmail Jess. But each believes they must have been betrayed by the other.
o Hurt those they love: The only way to survive is to do damage to their loved ones. Jess left the love of her life, Sarah Watson, to escape a good relationship gone bad. Will she do the same thing again?
Act 4:
Essence: Jess doesn’t believe that Nick is the killer.
Turning Point: Jess uses her hacking skills to delve into the lives of those involved in the unreported crimes in Sheriff Moore’s little black book.
Act 4:
o Main Mystery: Is Nick the killer?
o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick following Steve, Luke, and Anna?
o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?
o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.
o Must Make Decision with Future Consequences: Jess again uses her hacking skills to investigate Sheriff Moore and uncovers a wider network of illegal activity.
Act 5:
Essence: Jess uncovers a Trafficking Network that may be connected to the recent murders and other unsolved cases, including that of her brother, Adam.
Lock In: She goes along on a planned meet up to find out who is involved: Sheriff Moore, Captain Anderson, Dave Smith (Luke’s father), and Sarah Watson.
Act 5:
o Main Mystery: Who is involved in the trafficking Network?
o Sub-Mysteries: Is it really a Trafficking Network or something else?
o Main Open Loop: Will we find out whether Moore, Anderson, Smith, and Sarah Watson why they are meeting at the car park?
o Sub-Open Loops: Why is Sarah involved?
o Crucible: Trapped in a situation of severe test where great change takes place. Sheriff Moore and Jess are kidnapped by the Traffickers and only one of them gets to live.
CURRENT BEAT SHEET GREEN LAKE:
TEASER
Essence of scenes 1 through 7 (the teaser) is to introduce the main mystery and the three characters murdered or disappeared.
1 EXT. REMOTE HIGHWAY – DUSK
CAPTION: Present Day
A dark-blue PICK-UP TRUCK travels along a remote single-lane highway bounded by dense forest.
2 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK
Two men (Steve Beresford and Luke Smith) and a woman (Anna Cole) travelling in a pickup truck. The male passenger in the front seat (Luke Smith) wants to pull over to go to the washroom. The male driver (Steve Beresford) protests. Luke grabs the wheel and pulls them onto a dirt track road. Steve and Luke almost fight. Female rear passenger (Anna Cole) calms things down.
3 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – DIRT ROAD – DUSK
The pick-up kicks up dust as it bounces over the dirt track.
4 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK
Nature protecting itself from humans. Anna protecting herself from nature.
5 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK
Luke exits the truck. Walks into human garbage. Is angry. Humans have damaged nature. The local wildlife are watching him.
6 INT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – OUTHOUSE – DUSK
Luke enters the outhouse. He’s afraid. Has a phobia about the monster in the toilet. Is he on drugs or is he sick?
7 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK
Luke exits the outhouse. He’s happy. The birds block his path back to the truck. He hears their agitation then silence. He calls out to Steve and Anna. He soon sees that they’ve been attacked and are dead. A shadow of a figure flits behind him.
8 INT. BLACK SUV – DAY
A female detective (Senior Detective Jess Pearson) is driving and turns off the highway to the crime scene.
9 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – ENTRANCE – DAY
Jess Pearson introduces herself to the Officer guarding the crime scene. Officer James warns her of the gruesome scene ahead. If Jess is fazed she hides it well until out of the Officer’s sight.
10 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DAY
Jess exits her car and surveys the crime scene. The Sheriff (Sheriff Linda Moore) approaches and introduces herself. But they already know each other. Sheriff Moore asks Jess to keep an open mind and not conflate with her brother’s case.
11 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – PARKING STALLS – DAY
Jess examines the crime scene in detail. Sheriff describes what they know so far about the victims, who is missing, and it was Nick Beresford who found the bodies. The Pathologist, Doctor Sally Williams, arrives. Sheriff mentions a similar case five years before involving Jess’ brother. They discuss the victims possible involvement with drug dealing. Sheriff asks Jess where she’s staying. Jess tells her that she’s staying at the Johnson Twins B&B. Isn’t that haunted: the Sheriff and Dr. Williams tease Jess.
11 EXT. OUTHOUSE – DAY
Jess hangs back and takes another look around the crime scene.
12 INT. OUTHOUSE – DAY
Jess inspects the Outhouse in more detail.
13 EXT. OUTHOUSE – DAY
Jess exits the Outhouse.
14 EXT. CAR PARK – DAY
Jess walks to the forest checking for more crime scene evidence.
15 EXT. FOREST – DAY
Jess senses someone watching but there’s no-one there. She leaves the forested area.
16 EXT. FORENSIC TENT – DAY
Jess asks the Forensic Team to collect samples from the Outhouse and the stream.
17 INT. BLACK SUV – DAY
Jess calls her boss, Captain Anderson, and leaves a voicemail update about the case. Jess offers to go with Sheriff Moore to inform Steve and Anna’s parents. Sheriff declines and instead asks her to meet her at Luke Smith’s parents house in one hour.
18 INT. BLACK SUV – MOVING – DAY
Jess pulls over when she sees a sign for Sarah’s Coffee Stop.
19 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY
Jess exits her car and spots a notice board with a faded Missing Poster of her brother, Adam.
20 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY
Jess enters the Café. Sarah is unexpectedly friendly. Sarah gets upset when Jess asks to borrow the poster of Adam.
21 INT. BLACK SUV – MOVING – DAY
Jess drives to meet Sheriff Moore at the Smith residence.
22 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY
Sheriff gives Jess some background on Luke Smith. All positive.
23 INT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY
Jess and Sheriff Moore inform the Smith’s about Luke’s disappearance. They also question them about when they last saw him, any enemies etc.
24 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY
Dave Smith takes them to Luke’s apartment at the rear of the house.
25 INT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY
Jess and Sheriff enter Luke’s apartment. It’s sparse, neat, tidy, and clean. They take Luke’s laptop.
26 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – BASEMENT SUITE – DAY
Jess and Sheriff exit Luke’s apartment. Jess hands Dave her card. Asks him to call her if they hear from Luke or anyone else.
27 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY
Jess and Sheriff briefly discuss what they think has happened to Luke.
28 INT. POLICE STATION – MAIN OFFICE – DAY
Jess and Sheriff return to the station where Officer James has already set up the case whiteboard with a timeline and the players.
29 INT. POLICE STATION – INTERVIEW ROOM – DAY
Nick Milburn who discovered the bodies is interviewed by Jess and Sheriff Moore.
30 INT. POLICE STATION – MAIN OFFICE – DAY
Jess has reviewed the evidence and is not ruling Luke out from being involved.
31 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – TOP SUITE – DAY
Jess has stepped out of the shower and is blow drying her hair. She sees a young man walking through her apartment. She tries to find him but he’s gone. She calls Sarah and tries to tell her a weird thing just happened. Sarah tease her about being sucked into one of the house’s portals.
32 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – BOTTOM SUITE – DAY
Jess walks downstairs. She bumps into Peggy. She tells her that it was just Charles visiting.
33 INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Dr. Williams on her cellphone flips through pages attached to a clipboard that sits on a trolley.
34 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY
Dr. Williams is calling Jess about the autopsy results: left to die by a human but killed off by the birds and coyotes.
35 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – DAY
Jess parks up. She joins the crowd here for the Art showing. Sarah tells Jess the whole town is talking about the murders.
36 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY
Jess bumps into Peggy and Patsy. They ask about the murders and whether they are safe.
37 INT. LIBRARY – DAY 37
TBD
38 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – SUNRISE
Jess has reconvened more officers with the dogs to go over the crime scene again and expand the search area.
39 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DAY
Jess and Sheriff leave the crime scene search early to attend a Town Hall news conference about the case.
40 INT. TOWN HALL – DAY
Jess and Sheriff address the Town Hall crowd and the Press. They are joined by Dave and Jane Smith. They ask for the town’s help.
41 INT. LIBRARY – DAY
TBD
42 EXT. GREEN LAKE – DAY
Jess takes some time out by going for a canoe ride on Green Lake. She revisits her old house. Gets caught up in a change of weather. We see a the same young man (Charles) sitting behind her in the canoe.
43 EXT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – DOCK – DAY
Jess pulls up onto the dock of the house her parents used to own.
44 EXT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY
Jess walks up the driveway of the house her parents used to own.
45 EXT. YELLOW HOUSE – DAY
She knocks on the door of the house her parents used to own. No-one is home. She can see Patty and Peggy on the swing set. We see a man at the window. Jess walks back to the dock.
46 EXT. GREEN LAKE – DAY
Jess paddles back across the lake to Peggy & Patty’s.
47 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – TOP SUITE – NIGHT
Jess is woken by the noise of the swing set. She goes outside to the garden to investigate.
48 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – NIGHT
Jess walks down to the lake to investigate. She sees Charles again. He’s coming right towards her. She gets ready to shoot him. But he’s gone. She calls Sarah, but it goes to voicemail. On her way back to the house a bear and her cubs block her path. Peggy and Patty appear to help her back to the house.
49 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – BOTTOM SUITE – NIGHT
Patsy and Peggy make Jess a cup of tea.
50 INT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – BASEMENT – DAY
Jess wakes up in the basement. She’s been kidnapped. Luke is in a cage across the room.
51 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – DAY
Sarah jumps out of bed. Gets the coffee machine started. Listens to Jess’ voicemail and calls her back. Her call goes straight to Jess’ voicemail. A man knocks at the café door and asks if he could grab an early breakfast. Sarah recognizes Mick as a summer vacationer of Green Lake. She lets him in.
52 INT. MICK’S WHITE TRUCK – DAY
Luke is bound and gagged in the back of a truck. He tries to attract the voices he can hear outside.
53 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAR PARK – DAY
Sheriff Moore and Officer James walk past the white van. Sheriff calls Jess but it goes straight to voicemail.
54 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY
Sheriff enters the café. Sarah is already prepping their breakfast order. Sarah tells Sheriff she’s been unable to reach Jess. Not like her. Sheriff agrees to drive to Peggy and Patty’s to check on her.
55 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY
Sheriff and Officer James arrive. Get a call that Luke’s body has been found. Jess’ car is missing.
56 INT. LOCAL POLICE STATION – DAY
TBD
57 EXT. THE HIGHWAY – DAY
TBD
Log in to reply.