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Day 10 Assignment
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Anita Gomez’s NQ 3 and 4
What I’ve learned doing this assignment: This clarified the Emotional Dilemma my protagonist is facing.
Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
1. Tell us your concept.
A young woman who can’t access an abortion abandons her baby at birth only to learn years later that the child is her best hope for a life-saving transplant, leading her to search for a daughter she never wanted, but who becomes her unexpected solution.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
Choice #1 – Abort the child against her family’s religious beliefs and at the father’s request.
Choice #2 – Have the child at great personal health risk and ruin her career plans.
LATER, the Dilemma morphs into: Find the abandoned child for selfish health reasons or try and connect with the now-grown brilliant daughter.
Really it is the same ‘coin’: Destroy the child or let it live.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
As an unwanted pregnancy.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
First, the father, a staunch anti-abortionist, hypocritically requests Danica have an abortion. But she can’t get one in <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Texas</st1:place></st1:state> because she is over the allowable 6 weeks. Then Danica’s evangelical sister guilt-trips her about how the baby is a precious life and should be allowed to live. Then Danica flees the state to get an abortion. But she can’t go through with it, and has the child, almost dying in the process. She can’t bond with it and abandons the infant. Later, she desires to get to know her grown daughter, but it is revealed that the daughter is a murderer and will never be capable of loving Danica as a mother.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
The ultimate moment of decision was in not getting the abortion. Later, Danica decides she wants to meet and connect with the grown daughter rather than only considering her as a kidney donator.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Danica loses any chance of connection with her daughter – first by giving it away; then by realizing she has grown into a sociopath.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
That there is no one perfect answer to an unwanted pregnancy – that an unwanted pregnancy often leads to an unwanted child.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Life is created at conception and should be protected at all costs.
Side 2: A woman’s body is her own and she has every right to choose whether or not to have a child.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
There are interior (ambitions) and exterior (societal) pressures on Danica throughout her journey. Many of these are played out through her legal work and the biological father’s continued presence in the judicial system. But just as importantly we watch the child grow into a brilliant but cold and ruthless human.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Danica never wanted to be a mother and when she makes an attempt to connect with the child she gave away, she finds the child an emotionally unavailable sociopath that she can never have a relationship with. We wonder: would it have been better if this girl was never born?
In the current version of your outline, fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process. List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
1. Opening Scene:
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>HOSPITAL</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
Danica is in the throes of childbirth. It isn’t going well, and we hear from the doctors that she could die. GRAPHIC: “9 Months Earlier”
2. Inciting Incident:
INT. LAW OFFICES – NIGHT
Danica is working on a case. A senior partner comes in, flirting with her in an all-too-familiar way. She confronts him with the fact that she is pregnant and past the 6 weeks allowable for an abortion in her state. In fact, he was instrumental in passing this law. We see him revealed as the hypocrite he is (ultra right-wing; married with his own kids; but still offering to send her away for an abortion).
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY
Our lead confides in her Evangelical sister (mother of 2 kids herself) that she doesn’t want this child and wants to flee the state for an abortion. She fears for her health, having been born with only 1 kidney and reminds the sister how she herself almost died in childbirth, twice. The sister guilt-trips her / tells her all life is precious and “she’ll grow to love the child”.
EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Danica flees the state. She drives to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:state w:st=”on”>New Mexico</st1:state></st1:place> where the abortion laws are more accessible.
INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Danica makes an abortion appointment, but at the last minute, can’t go through with it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>HOSPITAL</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
We are back at the opening scene of a wretched birthing experience. Danica blacks out; She regains consciousness to the sounds of a screaming infant. A nurse tries to hand her the baby daughter, saying she is fine – except she too was born with the mother’s genetic defect of having only one kidney. The new mother turns away from the squalling infant.
EXT. FIRE STATION – NIGHT
Danica abandons her newborn daughter at a “Safe Haven” firehouse telling the child, “I never wanted you” leaving a note, “Her name is Dianna”.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Partners are congratulating Cyrus on his appointment as a Judge.
5. Mid-Point
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica’s ambitions bear fruit and she climbs the legal ladder. She is cold, hard, and driven with a reputation as a ruthless winner of corporate cases. As a loner, she rebuffs co-workers celebratory invitations.
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Concurrently the biological father’s (Cyrus) story unfolds. Now a Judge he quickly gains the reputation as a conservative hard-ass, as noted by former partners bringing a case forward.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EVENING
Cyrus the family man, interacts with his two pre-teen kids in a cool distant way. The home he provides is materially beautiful, but he is detached, deferring the kids’ needs to his wife.
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE
Dianna has grown into a beautiful and precocious young girl – with a cruel streak. She brings home an excellent school report but then we see her hugging a kitten until it squeals and goes limp.
INT. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – DAY
Cyrus, now older, has received notice of his appointment to Superior Circuit Court Judge, (which will put him once again in Danica’s professional orbit). He calls his wife and kids to have a celebration dinner, but they are all unavailable.
EXT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EARLY MORNING
It is his habitual practice to retrieve his newspaper outside the gates of his driveway near the street. A car passes too close and he bobbles his coffee onto his pajamas and robe (foreshadowing).
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dianna’s parents are worrying to each other about her lack of friends and emotional detachment.
EXT. UNIVERSITY GROUNDS – DAY
Dianna graduates college early. She is offered a prestigious job as a medical researcher in genetics. She goes into genetic research because of her own anatomical anomaly and uncovers others with kidney deficiency, which includes her mother.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
We see Dianna displaying the same cold hard ambitious edge her biological mother has, Perhaps this plays out in her dispassionate dissection of animals in the course of her research, and how she blows off her co-workers.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
During this time Dianna seeks out and discovers the true identity of both her biological parents.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOUSE – DAY
She has come for a visit and is wistful while playing with her niece and nephew – obviously wondering what it would have been like to be a mom herself.
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Danica is shopping in the girl’s department. First through infant wear, then toddlers through teens sections. She is sad and pensive, obviously dreaming of brooding about the child she gave away.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Exemplifying her pathological inability to connect with people, her boyfriend is breaking up with her, calling her an ice queen, etc. and accusing her of having an abortion of their child without consulting him. Dianna too calmly says that “it’s her body, her choice – and NO ONE leaves her… she does the leaving” and grabs a gun from a dresser drawer. He bolts before she fires but we see she would actually be capable of cold-blooded murder.
INT. JUDGE CYRUS’ CHAMBERS – DAY
Cyrus is having a discussion with other lawmakers about how they want to see <st1:state w:st=”on”>New Mexico</st1:state> follow in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:state w:st=”on”>Texas</st1:state></st1:place>’ footsteps with an extreme anti-abortion law, noting he is the best person for the job. He is a puffed-up pompous self-assured man conveniently forgetting his own personal scrape with Danica’s unwanted pregnancy, and agrees to hear arguments in their case. His motivations are purely for power and political gain within his party.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>SUBURBAN STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – DAY
Danica is a compulsive marathon runner. She begins to show signs of health issues.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – DAY
She receives news of her sister’s death from kidney failure. She meets with her brother-in-law and niece and nephew but has too many of her own regrets about giving away her own child. She longs for the strong family bond she sees in them.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Danica sees her own doctor and is told she too has kidney disease, and must have a transplant to survive. She is told all the medical reasons why her best chance for survival is a close relative.
INT. DANICA’s HOUSE – NIGHT
She begins seeking out her daughter’s whereabouts online. We are unsure of her motive,– is it for a kidney or a relationship?
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica must prepare for arguments being heard to restrict abortions in the state and she is tapped to argue against this in trial. She learns that the father of her abandoned child (Cyrus) will be the Circuit Appeals Judge hearing the case.
7. Crisis
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Danica argues passionately in her presentation stating, “Not everyone’s cut out to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent… and yet, life IS sacred… isn’t it?”. In her intensely conflicted zealousness she collapses – both mentally and physically.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
She goes on a concentrated search for Dianna, the daughter, and using a “23&Me” type genetic app, finds her. She contacts Dianna, not disclosing who she is – only a ‘close relative’. She has no idea Dianna already knows who she is; and in the course of email exchanges, the two women agree to meet.
8. Climax
EXT. <st1:street w:st=”on”><st1:address w:st=”on”>SUBURBAN STREET</st1:address></st1:street> – EARLY MORNING
Dianna gets into her silver sedan driving to the early morning appointment she set to meet her mother. We see a man bending over to get the morning paper from his driveway – we recognize him as Cyrus. She’s momentarily distracted. Brakes Squeal.
Blackout.
9. Resolution
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Eyes blink open. The hospital room looks eerily similar to the opening scene.
A TV is on, set to the news. Wincing in pain Danica gets out of bed and walks to a mirror, lifting her gown to reveal a long scar mid-back. She has gotten her transplant, but looks confused. Her daughter, Dianna walks in, smiling, fresh as a daisy. The mother is stunned silent… this is obviously her daughter, as they practically look like sisters. Dianna turns to the TV and raises the volume with the remote. The anchor is reporting on the tragic death of Circuit Appeals Court Judge Cyrus at his home this morning, the only lead a silver sedan seen on the street … if anyone has more information… TV switched off, Dianna turns to her mother, “Well, at least he did one thing right in his life – he signed up as an organ donor.”
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Cameron Martin’s NQ 3 and 4
What I learned doing this assignment is…the importance of establishing a concrete dilemma and theme that work together. In addition, I’m finding the need to ensure I’m not hitting the same beat repeatedly to establish either, but to instead escalate and enhance both through more varied character choices. For POSSESSING EDEN and GRAND THEFT ROAD TRIP, I was able to add more depth and variety in my scenes. OPEN WIDE feels like it’s still hitting the same beat over and over again, but being aware of the problem will help me to solve it later. I need to find more actions for Sully that both escalate his need to mitigate his child’s actions and don’t make him a complete jerk of a father. I mean, he already kinda goes there at the midpoint, but I need to include more for the latter part of the second act, as well as a choice in the first part of that second act. What I might do is add scenes or choices where Sully does work with his son and see how that influences the themes and dilemmas.
OPEN WIDE
Tell us your concept: A parent who struggles to communicate with his out-of-control child must protect their child from an outbreak of parasitic aliens and get off world in order to save their child when the child gets infected.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions: Sully involving himself with his son versus pushing him away to “get the job done.”
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? The Dilemma first shows up in the opening when Isaiah wants his dad to spend time with him, eventually sabotaging a construction project to get attention, which results in Sully exploding on his son.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? The issue continues to be built up when Sully doesn’t involve his son, threatens to leave him, locks him in a closet, disregards his input, shouts him down, punishes him for not listening, picks him up and doesn’t let him move on his own (decentralized movement and tactics).
C. When does the protagonist make the choice? Sully makes his choice when he doesn’t see any other way out but to allow his son to take the lead, and risk the unknown and possible death for them both.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? Sully loses his sense of security and control.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions: True communication is essential for survival.
A. What are both sides of your theme? Taking charge of the situation is essential for survival versus earnest respect and communication is essential for survival.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story? Sully takes initiative in almost every situation and tactically is successful, but strategically makes everything worse over time. When Sully is willing to give equal command of the situation to his son, that’s when they’re successful.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message? The only way for Sully to save his son from imminent, horrifying death is to work with him as an equal.
Plot in Structure:
1. Opening: Sully works on a project for his superiors while wrangling a child adamant on drawing as much attention as possible, until Sully explodes on the child.
INT. APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
(Opening Image) Flash forward of Sully holding his son, Isaiah, who is coughing uncontrollably. Sully apologizes to his son before a shotgun blast is heard.
INT. SPACE COLONY – NEW CONSTRUCTION ZONE – DAY
(Establish the Ordinary World) Establish the space colony on another planet, as we follow Sully working as a master carpenter with a team of other workers.
CONT.
(Theme Stated) Isaiah sneaks into the construction site and asks his dad to spend the day with him. Sully pushes him away, explaining there’s a lot of work he has to do.
CONT.
(Set Up) Isaiah plays pranks on his dad, eventually putting the construction site at risk, and nearly hurting a number of workers.
CONT.
(Call to Adventure and the Denial of that Call) Sully explodes on Isaiah in front of everyone. Isaiah runs away.
INT. CONSTRUCTION ZONE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY
(Meeting with the Mentor) Sully talks with his boss in a meeting about his son, promising to get his son under control.
2. Inciting Incident: An alarm goes off, warning the colonists to gather in a bunker to wait out an infestation of parasitic alien worms until liquidators can arrive to exterminate the worms, but Sully can’t find his child before the bunker closes shut.
CONT.
(Catalyst) Alarm goes off warning of Aliens.
INT. SPACE COLONY – VARIOUS – DAY
Everyone is moving in a rapid but orderly manner, except Sully who’s fighting against the crowd to get to his son.
INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
(Debate) Sully searches for his son high and low, but there’s no sign of him. Sully threatens to leave if Isaiah doesn’t come with him, counting to three.
CONT.
(Acceptance of the Call) Sully is able to coax Isaiah out of hiding and they both run to the bunker.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Sully starts coming up with a plan for him and his son to survive and find a way inside the sealed bunker.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
(Crossing the Threshold with a minor sacrifice) Sully and Isaiah get to the bunker, but it’s sealed shut. They’re stuck on the outside with the aliens.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(First Trial/Forging Allies) Sully grabs Isaiah and takes the both of them to another room where he believes he can fortify their position and prepare for the worst to come.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(Second Trial/Escaping Death with a moderate sacrifice) Sully fights off the first wave of hostile aliens. Isaiah wants to help, but Sully refuses harshly. In retaliation, Isaiah picks up a weapon and kills an alien himself, leading to Sully punishing his son
CONT.
(Reaping the reward) Sully discovers a way inside the bunker by reviewing schematics.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Sully sets out on his own after locking his son in a secure location.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS/HALLWAYS – NIGHT
(Approach to the Inner Cave/Gaining Confidence) Sully locks Isaiah in a closet to keep him safe while he ventures out alone to find out if the schematics are correct. He apologizes but insists it’s for his own good.
5. Mid-Point: Sully reaches the bunker but discovers all the residents were infected and are now monsters. Sully’s child is able to save him after breaking out of his confinement, but gets infected as a brood mother as a result.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
(Midpoint/Moment of Death and Rebirth) Sully discovers he wasn’t the only one who found a way into the bunker when all of the residents are found to be infected.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to find a way out of his confinement and track down his dad.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to save his dad at the last moment, and the two escape.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(Securing the Macguffin or Refusing Temptation) Isaiah is revealed to have been infected in the previous scuffle, when he begins to cough up blood.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The liquidators arrive to kill the infected and any survivors, but Sully and his son find a way to sneak onto the liquidator’s vessel to get back to earth.
INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – NIGHT
(Bad Guys Close In) Times up. The Liquidators arrive in force to exterminate the alien threat and any infected.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(All is Lost) Sully and Isaiah retreat to another room. Sully tells Isaiah to resist the need to cough, but he can’t help it, drawing the attention of more aliens to kill, along with liquidators.
CONT.
(Dark Night of the Soul) Sully apologizes to his son, who’s trying his best to resist the need to cough, while the two are surrounded by aliens and liquidators alike.
CONT.
(Prepare for Battle/Macguffin comes into play) Sully asks his son to sneak the both of them into the Liquidator’s ship to get to a medical bay.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS AND HIDEAWAYS) – NIGHT
(Execution of Plan A) Sully and son sneak around the carnage surrounding them.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL – NIGHT
(False Victory) Sully and Isaiah make it to the ship!
7. Crisis: Sully and his son are caught, and they fight through hell to stay alive and get to a medical bay.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL – NIGHT
(Falling into the Trap) Sully and Isaiah are found out due to Isaiah’s coughing that’s getting worse. Liquidators swarm in force.
CONT.
(Opponent’s Victory at Hand) Sully and Isaiah evade and run like hell to the Medical Bay.
8. Climax: Sully seals himself and his son in the medical bay and they work together to extract the parasites within him before they hatch.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
(Hero Goes Alone/Last Ditch Effort) They make it to the medical bay and lock themselves inside. Sully gets as many supplies out as he can.
CONT.
(Final Battle/Greatest Sacrifice) Sully and Isaiah work together with Isaiah on the operating table to extract the alien eggs in Isaiah’s chest.
9. Resolution: Sully and his son save themselves, forming a closer relationship than either could’ve imagined after the torture they endured together.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
(Self-Revelation/Realizing or Damning the Soul) Sully saves his son, with his son’s help, just in time.
(Closing Image) Father and Son embracing.
POSSESSING EDEN
1. Tell us your concept: An android in search of redemption will defy her creator by stealing the code to creating life in an effort to bring the person she killed back to life.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions: Betraying everything Janus knows versus staying on the path of resurrecting her victim.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? In the initial plan to steal from Janus’ creator in order to succeed in the goal of making things right.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? The deeper Janus descends into the underworld, the further her relationship with her creator and her Copy widens. Janus plans to steal from her creator, joins with an underworlder, fights against Adam’s sentries, and fights against her Copy, which is trying to impose justice with a sense of finality.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice? Janus makes her choice to bring Adam down when Adam refuses Pan to be resurrected and Calvex to be reincarnated.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? Janus loses her home and the foundations of everything she knows.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions: We can’t heal others until we first learn to heal ourselves.
A. What are both sides of your theme? We heal ourselves by destroying our worst parts versus we heal ourselves by healing our damaged parts.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story? Every time Adam is faced with a dilemma, he chooses to kill a part of himself. Janus’ decision is built up by a growing conflict between her and her Copy, until she is finally faced with it, where she makes the choice to heal and merge with her Copy rather than killing or succumbing to it.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message? Janus gives a part of her code to heal Adam’s broken code.
Plot in Structure:
1. (Active) Opening – Janus saves a helpless boy, Pan, from a raging robot at the intersection of the upper floors of a massive nine story tower and the underworld (the lower nine floors), and takes the boy to her creator, Adam, to give the boy eternal life.
INT. RUINED LOBBY
We open on the first floor of a massive nine story high rise. It’s a dark, maze-like ruin with holes in the wall that weave from one room to another, along with what appear to be grave sites toppled on top of each other. There, a child, Pan, hides in the shadows from a mechanical being that just killed both of his parents. Janus, an android with the ability to “possess” different machines, protects and saves Pan from the killer robot.
Note-Possessing means she not only hacks the machine, but penetrates it and wraps the armor of the robot around her, like a cyberpunk version of a ghost going inside of and possessing a person.
CONT.
Pan is missing a chip in his neck, something he needs to be admitted through the Afterlife Protocol. Pan is from the underworld, where they can’t be reincarnated or have everlasting life, and was crossing the border between the underworld and the upper nine floors with his family when they were attacked.
INT. ELEVATOR / TOP FLOOR PENTHOUSE
Janus takes him to her creator, Adam, to ensure the promise of eternal life.
INT. VOID
Adam, in a sermon to people plugged into a virtual meeting, recounts a story of how he constructed the tower as a last bastion of mankind and created Guardian Angels, like Janus, in his image, so that they would have dominion over the world.
INT. STAIRWELL
Janus competes in a game with her siblings to test their skill in protecting the first 9 floors from the forces of the underworld: the bottom 9 floors that live underground in rebellion. Janus wins with Adam watching.
CONT.
Adam invites Janus to a revelation of a power she didn’t know she had.
2. Inciting Incident – As Adam’s favorite child, Janus is taught to create a copy of herself under his guidance, but, unbeknownst to her in doing so, she also kills Pan, whose body was needed to create the copy.
INT. TOP FLOOR PENTHOUSE
Adam teaches Janus to duplicate herself. It is an act that relies on deleting the consciousness of the host, in order to use their body. However, Janus performs this act without being told that duplicating herself would bring a permanent end to the host, Pan, in a world where death should be impossible.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. – Janus, with the help of her Copy, plans to steal Adam’s code that allowed her to be made, and venture into the underworld to use said code in order to resurrect her victim.
INT. JANUS’ ROOM
Janus, distraught, refuses to believe she can’t bring Pan back to life. She makes a plan with her Copy to resurrect Pan.
Together, they’ll steal the code Adam used to create her and her siblings. Next, they’ll venture to the source of the Nexus, the platform for the Afterlife Protocol, deep inside the underworld. Together, they plan to merge the code with the Copy’s body, which was the victim’s body, hoping the combination of latent data within said body and Adam’s code will bring the individual back to life again, essentially rewriting the information that once made up the consciousness of the individual.
INT. TOP FLOOR MAINFRAME
Janus, with the help of her double, breaks into Adam’s personal library to steal the code.
INT. STAIRWELL
Janus and Copy evade Janus’ siblings on their way down the first 9 floors, refusing to fight them.
INT. LOBBY
Adam begs Janus not to go, offering absolution in the form of erasing hers and everyone else’s memory of the victim so that no guilt can be felt or placed.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – Janus rejects Adam’s offer of absolution, which is just erasing people’s memories, and abandons the upper floors to descend into the underworld, which prompts Adam to split into multiple versions of himself who all fight each other for supremacy, with the most vengeful of Adam’s copies winning and setting his sights on destroying his own creation.
INT. LOBBY
Janus apologizes to Adam, promising to return as soon as she brings Pan back. Janus and her Copy then cross into the Underworld, taking a risk based on Janus’ own developing morality, instead of opting for the easy way offered by her creator.
INT. VOID
Adam addresses humanity and ostracizes Janus as a fallen angel and demon who must be stopped.
INT. PENTHOUSE
In private, Adam splits into two different versions of himself. One side argues Janus should be shown the love a daughter deserves. The other half argues Janus refused the power and knowledge she possesses, and that it is the same as refusing him, since she was made to be like him. In the second version’s mind, he was first rejected by his creator long ago. Now, he’s being rejected by his own progeny. The two halves fight, one for Janus and the other for his pride. The prideful half kills the loving half.
INT. HIDEOUT
Adam sells Janus out to a group a slavers: The first part of a trap. When the slavers ask Adam why, he offers them the question of how many Adam’s they think there are, showing his hand that the version they’re conversing with may be unique to the one the underworld is familiar with.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SECOND FLOOR
Janus and Copy confront cyborg slavers and are captured. Copy questions Janus’ motives and leadership, and the schism between the two first appears.
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PRISON CELLS
Janus and Copy meet Calvex, a mute gladiatorial slave. He agrees to help them out of the Arena and guide them through the underworld, if they can rescue him from the Lightning Run and bring him his “voice.” Copy doesn’t agree with this plan, as Calvex is an underworlder, and aligning with him would contradict their faith in Adam. “Two wrongs can’t make a right.”
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PIT
Gladiator battle. Janus and her Copy try to recover Calvex’s “Voice,” which is the arena prize. The fight is a way to punish and execute Calvex, who is running the Lightning Run. Calvex must fight electrical impulses to dodge and survive deadly obstacles.
CONT.
Janus secures the Voice, overcoming the gladiator pit’s opponents, and rescues Calvex from the lightning run. But the gladiatorial ring leader, Alrick, uses a shape-shifting, nano bot weapon to mortally damage Janus.
CONT.
Then, a platoon of Adam’s robot sentries enter the ring. The people of the underworld fight back, and it quickly turns into a riot. The sentries reach Janus and tear her apart.
5. Mid-Point – After Janus cheats death and joins forces with Calvex, a guide to the underworld, Copy, who wants Janus to see justice for her actions, makes a plan with Adam to set a trap.
INT. CYBERSPACE
Janus learns she can reincarnate anywhere, since she was given “free will.” She returns to life inside her Copy’s body and shares it with her.
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PIT
Janus and her Copy fight through, recovering one of Janus’ arms that was torn off, and giving the Voice to Calvex, who uses it to gain control of one of the gladiator pit’s mechanized giants and escape with the two Januses.
INT. PENTHOUSE
Adam devises a plan to break Janus by using the family of the person she killed.
CONT.
One of the angels asks Adam why there’s so much effort being put into destroying Janus when she’s trying to bring someone back to life. When the angel doesn’t buy the argument that Janus betrayed them, Adam splits into two different versions of himself again, one that agrees, and another that recontextualizes the argument as sedition and justifies the old testament flooding of the earth. That version of Adam kills both his copy and the angel, his own child.
INT. UNDERWORLD – FIFTH FLOOR
Copy makes a point to Janus that the path she’s on, first leaving the upper floors, then aligning with an Underworlder, and lastly cheating death is a denial of the justice she’s due, and questions whether Janus’ quest to resurrect Pan is actually good for Pan or if it’s just a way for Janus to feel better about herself.
CONT.
Adam links a conversation between Janus and the family. Janus’ Copy stays out of the way and watches Janus feel the full weight of her guilt.
CONT.
Copy reaches out to Adam while Janus and Calvex are asleep, and asks if she may be invited to bring justice to Janus. Adam tells the Copy how to kill the original, explaining that for people like them, killing parts of yourself is necessary to become pure and holy. However, Janus’ will is too strong for Copy to easily win, and a trap will need to be set for Copy’s victory to be assured.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Janus reaches a village on the seventh floor of the underworld. Janus is thanked by the village for saving Calvex.
CONT.
The original Janus is given a robot surrogate to possess, so that she and her Copy can be in separate bodies again. In addition, the surrogate body is augmented with one of Janus’ original arms that was saved in the gladiator pit, so she can still perform the act of possessing machines and resurrect the person she killed.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SIXTH FLOOR – HUNTING GROUNDS
Cavlex takes the original Janus hunting to show what life is like in the underworld, apart from the horrors faced before, and that his people are worth fighting for as well. When Janus questions whether Calvex, an underworlder, is worth listening to, Calvex reassures her quest.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Copy stays with the village to guard it, and allows the village to be attacked by Adam’s Guardian Angels.
CONT.
Copy hides with another child and gaslights her as her village is being attacked.
CONT.
Calvex and Janus return to the village to stave off the Guardian Angels. Copy pretends to join them and blames Janus for abandoning her and the villagers, just like she abandoned Pan.
INT. UNDERWORLD – EIGHT AND NINTH FLOORS – CONT.
Calvex leads Janus past the 8th floor, and to the 9th floor, which is littered with robotic corpses, like a hundred battles had taken place on this one floor, and no victories were won. Janus tries to bring her victim back to life. It appears to work, but…
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Adam and Copy snap the trap, playing a trick on Janus by heightening the horror of the murder that lead to the creation of the Copy, and preventing the resurrection of Pan. Janus is mentally broken.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2 – Janus, Copy, and Calvex successfully reach the place where they can bring her victim back to life, but the trap laid earlier springs, and Copy ties to kill her counterpart; but when Calvex sacrifices himself to save Janus, she becomes inspired to heal her guilt and merge with her Copy instead of killing it or succumbing to it.
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
The Copy attacks Janus. Janus holds her own to defend Calvex, but her copy begins to duplicate herself amongst the dead robots and overwhelm Janus. Meanwhile, Janus refuses to copy herself again due to the guilt associated with the act, and is about to be killed by her dark side.
CONT.
Calvex is able to save Janus at the last moment, but at the cost of his own life.
CONT.
Janus, influenced by Calvex’s sacrifice, is able to move past her guilt, forgiving herself, and begin reducing her Copy’s army until she merges with her Copy, instead of killing her, and becomes a whole person again.
7. Crisis – Janus tries to upload Calvex through the Afterlife Protocol to bring him back, but Adam holds Calvex hostage in the form of digital code, preventing his reincarnation, and declares to Janus he’ll destroy the world and start anew because “that’s what gods do.”
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Janus is able to plug Calvex into the Nexus to try to admit him through the Afterlife Protocol. But a firewall created by Adam prevents her from resurrecting her friend. If Calvex is to be brought back to life, Janus must eliminate her creator, Adam.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Janus returns to the village to give the bad news and ask for help, promising to bring the people of the underworld the opportunity for eternal life through the Afterlife Protocol.
INT. TOP FLOOR – PENTHOUSE
Adam, upon losing control in the Underworld, sees an Omen.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE – COMMS ROOM
He threatens Janus he’ll destroy the world again and start over, “because that’s what gods do.”
8. Climax – Janus, with the help of the underworld, returns to the upper floors and both defeats Adam and resurrects Pan.
INT. UNDERWORLD – MULTIPLE FLOORS
Janus gathers forces in the Underworld to take the upper 9 floors and rid the world of Adam.
INT. STAIRWELL
Together, they fight their way up each of the 9 upper floors. The majority of the force takes on the brunt of the defenses…
INT. VENTS
Meanwhile, Janus leads a separate, smaller party to Adam’s library, where his code is kept.
INT. TOP FLOOR – ENTRANCE
Her siblings intercept her though, and she fights them again under different circumstances. Janus breaks through…
INT. TOP FLOOR – MAINFRAME
Reaching the mainframe and source of Adam’s code. She plugs in and reaches the Nexus, a digital reality where we see the Afterlife Protocol in action.
INT. CYBERSPACE
Adam reveals to Janus that in order to kill him, she would have to erase her and her siblings’ code as well, since all of their code is intertwined with his. Adam offers eternity with Calvex, the man who helped bring her out of depression, in exchange for allowing Adam to rebuild.
Adam cannot destroy the world, because as a computer virus, he’s been contained to the tower. But, Janus and Calvex could live an eternity outside of the tower, where Adam also reveals that the world is much bigger and still full of life; the tower is not the last bastion of mankind as previously taught.
CONT.
Janus chooses a third path upon recognizing her code is intertwined with his. She instead shares her code with Adam’s broken code, and helps him to self-actualize.
9. Resolution – The Afterlife Protocol within The Tower is free again, allowing Calvex, Pan and the others living there to reincarnate and live outside of The Tower, where we see that it is simply one small building in a vast and vibrant city on another planet.
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Pan is resurrected, along with Calvex.
INT/EXT. TOWER – METROPOLIS
The Afterlife Protocol within the tower is free again. People living there are permitted to reincarnate and live outside of the tower, where we see that it is simply one tower in a vast and vibrant city on another planet.
GRAND THEFT ROAD TRIP
1. Tell us your concept: A driving instructor finds out their child commits grand theft auto on a regular basis during a defensive driving course where their child is behind the wheel and the cops are on their tail. As their child’s hostage and on the run from both the cops and the crime crew their child spurned, the two now have to mend the relationship that was broken.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions: Running and avoiding responsibility versus stopping and facing it.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? The dilemma first shows up in the opening when The Kid runs from the cops and parks their stolen car in a neighbor’s driveway before sneaking into her parent’s house.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? Every time The Kid is faced with a decision to run, she takes it, which places her and her dad in worse and worse trouble. This includes running with the cops on their tale, which draws the attention of the news and places not only her but her dad in the crosshairs of the mob boss she spurned. It includes recruiting the help of a fence which comes at the cost of the fence’s life (foreshadowing), and finally when the dad is caught in the crossfire between the hit man and the cops.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice? When it’s too late and she loses her dad. That’s when she turns around and faces the consequences of her actions.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? After The Kid first loses her dad and avenges him, she must then lose her freedom, the one thing she fought for at the beginning of the story.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions: We are our parent’s children.
A. What are both sides of your theme? The Kid and The Dad are nothing alike versus they are the same person.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story? The Kid and The Dad both fight over the choices each have made. The Dad has prepared a safe and secure life for himself and his daughter to ensure she will not face danger, whereas The Kid makes choices that place her dad in more danger, from committing grand theft auto, to running from the cops, to stealing from a clothing store, to buying from an arms dealer, to facing off against a hit man.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message? At the end, the child sacrifices control for the sake of a loved one, much in the same way The Dad surrendered the literal and metaphorical driver’s seat to his daughter.
Plot in Structure:
1. (Active) Opening – The Kid breaks into a Lamborghini Countach and takes it on a joyride, evading cops along the way, before leaving it and successfully sneaking into her parent’s house.
INT. GARAGE – LAMBORGHINI COUNTACH – NIGHT
(Opening Image) Kid’s bright eyes, reflecting her innocence and immaturity. She hot wires the car to take it for a spin.
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
(Establish the Ordinary World) Kid takes the car out slow at first.
EXT. GARAGE / GATE – NIGHT
Kid gets the car as far as the gate of a luxurious estate. She gets caught by the guard, but escapes anyway.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Kid joyrides like it’s a video game, evading cops along the way.
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Kid parks the car and jumps the fence. Cops swarm neighbor’s house.
EXT. BACKYARDS – NIGHT
Kid parkours across neighbor’s yards.
EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Kid hot-wires a sedan. Pulls out of the driveway.
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Kid parks the sedan in a parking lot adjacent with another neighbor’s fence.
EXT. HOME BACKYARD / KID’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Follow Kid to their home, a couple houses down from the parking lot.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
Kid sneaks into the house, undetected. She got away with everything…for now.
INT. HOME – DAY
(Theme Stated) Kid goes downstairs in a JROTC uniform. Dad and Kid talk about college choices and a minor speeding ticket – Kid isn’t involved much in the conversation as Dad recounts a story of when he was her age and hid from his parents that he got a speeding ticket, and what kind of trouble he found himself in when they found out. Dad requires Kid to go through a defensive driving course with him.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Set Up) Kid and Dad get into an embarrassing car. Dad tells Kid how to do everything, even though we know Kid can handle a vehicle just fine.
2. Inciting Incident – A cop is able to identify the Kid while she’s on a defensive driving course with her father, and attempts to pull the two over.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
Kid is identified by a cop based on a camera image from the previous night. Lights go up.
CONT.
Dad tells Kid to pull over. Kid pulls over.
CONT.
Backups arrive suddenly. Cops all get out and draw weapons, making demands to “get out of the car with your hands up!”
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. – The Kid slams the gas and takes her dad for the ride of his life as she successfully evades law enforcement, with the dad left wondering what happened to his daughter, and how does he get her back.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Call to Adventure and Denial of that Call) Kid makes a split decision, showing her dad that she’s a devil behind the wheel. Gets away from the cops.
CONT.
(Meeting with the Mentor) Kid confesses to Dad. Kid – “It’s not my fault.” Dad – “Where did I go wrong?” Showing difference in mindset between the two and what each has to figure out for the story.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Lieutenant works on a case involving The Boss. Catches word of the Kid and requests a profile on her.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – The Dad chooses to go with his daughter, instead of turning her into the cops, so that he can mend the relationship he didn’t know was broken.
EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
(Catalyst) Car is almost out of gas/Kid is forced to finally stop at a gas station. Mom calls Dad and reveals the two are on TV and wanted, wants to know what’s going on.
INT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Debate) Dad discusses with mom whether to turn in daughter or not.
CONT.
(Acceptance of the Call) Dad hangs up, deciding to join Kid to find out what happened to his child.
INT. MOB BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY
(Crossing the Threshold with a minor Sacrifice) Kid and Dad appear on TV. Gate Guard confirms that the Kid on TV is the same one that stole the Mob Boss’ prized Countach. It’s personal, as he sends crew to pick her up.
EXT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL DINER – DAY
Kid parks wanted car in lot behind diner.
INT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL DINER / ADJACENT CORNER STORE – DAY
(First Trial/Forging Allies) Kid takes Dad to a fence next door to the diner they used to frequent when they were younger. The fence hooks them up with disguises and helps them pickpocket the car keys off a patron.
CONT.
Kid and Dad get dressed in new clothes and disguises.
CONT.
Dad reminisces about diner being a favorite of theirs growing up.
EXT/INT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL-DINER / ADJACENT CORNER STORE – DAY
(Second Trial/Escaping Death with a moderate Sacrifice) Lieutenant catches up with Kid and Dad, wanting to ask some questions. The Kid is able to hide and escape, while the Dad speaks with the Lieutenant. Kid catches sight of her crew entering the building, and cops on the outside.
CONT.
Kid grabs Dad and avoids the crossfire on their way out of the diner.
CONT.
(Reaping the Reward) Kid pulls out in someone’s Civic Type-R, outrunning everyone.
5. Mid-Point – The Boss puts a hit on The Kid.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
The fence is brought in for questioning and killed by the Mob Boss.
CONT.
Boss sets up a bounty on the kid, meeting with a hitman.
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL GROUNDS – NIGHT
(Approach to the Inner Cave/Gaining Confidence) Kid and Dad flee to the Kid’s old school to hide out.
CONT.
(Midpoint/Moment of Death and Rebirth) “This is where it happened.” Kid reveals to Dad she was abused at school by classmates while teachers and admins looked the other way.
CONT.
(Securing the Maguffin or Refusing Temptation) Dad and Kid connect on the need to control their lives to avoid previous tragedy. New memory is made.
CONT.
(Bad Guys Close In) Hitman and Cops close in when Janitor sees the Kid and Dad and calls them in.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2 – The dad is shot in the crossfire between cops and the hitman.
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL GROUNDS – NIGHT
(All is Lost) Dad gets shot in the crossfire between the cops and Lieutenant and the hitman.
7. Crisis – The Kid gets herself and her dad out okay, but her dad’s bleeding out.
INT/EXT. CIVIC TYPE-R – NIGHT
Kid tries running, but Hitman catches up. Kid hits the Hitman with the tail of her car and launches him into the side of the school, killing him.
CONT.
(Dark Night of the Soul) Kid takes Dad to Hospital.
EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Arrive at Hospital, but it’s too late. Kid takes off, running away.
8. Climax – After watching her father die, the Kid cuts a deal with the Lieutenant and goes after The Boss.
EXT. INTERSTATE – NIGHT
(Prepare for Battle/Maguffin comes into Play) Kid calls 9-1-1 and demands to speak with the Lieutenant. She promises to turn herself in if she can go after the Mob with him.
INT/EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
(Execution of Plan A) Kid goes after the Mob, leading Cops and the Lieutenant along the way.
CONT.
(False Victory) Kid makes it to warehouse, Cops and Lieutenant search the premises for her and come across evidence of Mob’s efforts.
CONT.
(Falling into the Trap) Kid falls into trap set by Mob boss. Has to escape.
CONT.
(Opponent’s Victory at Hand) Mob Boss is a better driver than even the Kid. Runs her down and cripples her, requiring her to drive with one hand.
CONT.
(Hero Goes Alone/Last Ditch Effort) Kid is more reckless than Mob Boss, and gets the upper hand.
CONT.
Kid and Boss race. Kid wins.
9. Resolution – The Kid sets up a memorial to her father and dedicates her life and love of cars to his memory by becoming a stunt driving instructor.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Kid accepts the handcuffs. Goes willingly with cops.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Lieutenant makes a deal with the Kid to help him with more Grand Theft Auto Cases in exchange for less jail time.
EXT. DRIVING LOT
Kid’s eyes, now years older, looking over a lot where she helps teens, including her own, through driving courses.
-
Dev Ross – NQ 3 and 4
What I learned doing this assignment was that I had to take a closer look at my characters and more clearly define their emotional arcs.
1. Tell us your concept: Outshined by the latest hate groups, a fading KKK Grand Dragon plots the murder of a black leader, but when he wakes the next morning, he is that black leader who is suddenly struck with a plan to murder the Grand Dragon.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma: Can’t stop because his life is in danger, but if he continues, loss of family.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? When cross is burned on his lawn.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? When he awakes as his alternate self in another universe.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice? He discovers he’s lost his previous power and status.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? Loss of family and then end of life.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions: Ultimate hate ultimately destroys.
A. What are both sides of your theme? Hate no matter why kills us all – verses strong personal beliefs as to what is right and good.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story? In their acts of trying to destroy each other, verses their families reflections back at them as to how they are destroying themselves.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message? Hate ultimately destroys one world but begats another. Two negatives equal a positive.
1. EXT. FAIR GROUNDS – SUMMER DAY
A REPORTER speaks against the b.g. of harsh winds blamed on climate events while reporting the rise of extremism as Grand Dragon CAINE JAMESTON steps up and speaks at a White Supremacists Conference. Crowd boos him. He’s a SINO, a Supremacist in Name Only. He’s left hurt and confused.
2. INT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Caine’s wife, LIZZIE, saw it all on the news. Maybe it’s a sign; time to leave the hate business to others. Focus on their family. He reminds her that he does it ‘for family and for all white Christian families to save their country.’ She’s got to go – hurry to work night shift at hospital. Their daughter is off with boyfriend they’ve yet to meet. He eats dinner alone. Checks news. More on odd weather. Ignores it as fear-mongering. Watches coverage on WS rally. A new, younger speaker, ADAM SPENCER, from The Sons of Patriots gets rousing response: “Jews will not subvert! Muslims will not convert! Blacks will not assert!”
3. INT. CAINE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Caine tosses and turns, grabs his nightstand Bible, gets up and leaves bedroom.
4. INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
Surrounded by KKK memorabilia, he reads his bible. His grandfather’s Klan robe is on display. He puts it on and stares at himself in the mirror. Swears to his grandpa he’ll stay true. He sleeps in the robe on the couch.
5. EXT. HOME – DAY
Caine works painting a house. Elderly woman from his church asks him to apprentice her twelve-year-old grandson who’s come to live with her. The boy needs a male mentor. Caine’s obliging. Quotes Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” His grandpa taught him the trade and he’d always wanted a son to pass it on to. The boy, Elijah, is half black. Caine’s taken aback. Meets the grandmother’s eyes. She’s pleading. Caine swallows his anger and nods.
6. INT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
INCITING INCIDENT: Caine dumps on his wife and daughter about his half-monkey boy apprentice. Daughter, EMMY, defiantly says she’s pregnant by black boyfriend. Enraged, Caine throws Emmy out of the house. Lizzie pleads with him but he reminds her what blacks did to his sister.
7. EXT. ANOTHER HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Caine takes his anger out on apprentice Elijah. Elijah asks if he hates him because he’s half black. Caine explains being mixed means you’re tainted. God doesn’t want us to mix. Says the boy will have to fight harder to be a good person. Despite this and himself, Caine can’t help but like the boy…
8. EXT./INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
Strong winds outside. Klan meeting inside. A handful show up. A rag-tag group of young and old men with chips on their shoulders and trauma in their pasts. Caine says members will return once they tire of the radical tactics of emerging supremacist groups. Reminds attendees the Klan used to have respectable doctors, lawyers and politicians in their ranks. They can regain that respectability again and, thus, regain control of the country. They are gentleman first, Christian men with integrity, not wild-eyed terrorists.
9. INT. CAINE BEDROOM – NIGHT
Lizzie spurns Caine’s advances. She’s tired. He’s tired of her refusing him. Fire alarm goes off.
10. EXT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Shouts of “Nigger lover” as trucks screech away. They’ve left behind a cross burning on Caine’s lawn and a warning about his daughter. Fire trucks arrive. Fire Captain’s surprised that Caine’s house was targeted. There was a time when no one would fuck with him. Caine makes a decision.
11. EXT./INT. CAINE HOME – MORNING
OUTSIDE: Ashes from burning cross blow across the neighborhood. INSIDE: Lizzie informs Caine she’s working a double and, since he’s tossed out their daughter, he can fend for himself as to dinner. They catch Black Leader LINCOLN ABLE on news. Wife comments on how the black nurses at the hospital all talk about him. Lizzie can see why. He’s so charismatic.
12. EXT. HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Weather is too harsh to work. Elijah, hoping to please Caine, says he can endure it to get the job done. Instead of admiring the boy for his work ethic, Caine angrily says that’s the dumb black part of him talking. Go home and take care of his grandma.
13. INT. BAR – DAY
Caine day drinks. More on Lincoln Able on TV. Bartender complains: uppity black is going to get all the whites voted out of office. They’re going to lose their country but there’s nothing decent white folks can do about it. If they did, they’d get videoed, convicted by elites, and then get life in prison. Bartender poses a question to Caine: Would prison be worth it if you knew you by killing an evil, you’d made the world better?
14. EXT. BAR – EVENING
It hails ice the size of golf balls as Caine leaves.
15. INT. CAINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Wind howls like a banshee. Drunk Caine stumbles into his house. Calls for his wife and daughter. House is empty. There’s a picture of him and his sister hunting with Grandpa. He was just a kid then but not now. Now he’s going to finally avenge her. He’s going to do what must to be done to set things right. He turns on the news. Lincoln Able is in a news loop. Caine watches and then pulls out his rifle.
16. EXT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Lightening seems to rip the sky in half. Strange colors slip through akin to the aurora borealis. The tripping lights encompass his neighborhood.
ACT TWO:
1. INT. BASEMENT – MORNING
The man who went to sleep as Caine now wakes up as the black man Lincoln Able. He’s disoriented. An intense dream fades from consciousness. He’s in his basement surrounded by black empowerment items. He shakes off his bad night’s sleep.
2. INT. ABLE HOME – KITCHEN – MORNING
NUBIA, a nurse, hands him coffee. Apologizes for sending him to the basement but his tossing and turning and talking in his sleep kept her up. He woke up with a crazy thought… that he should murder the Grand Dragon. She laughs. Yeah, her peaceful warrior murdering somebody? She’ll believe it when she sees it – but maybe not even then! After she leaves, we see he can’t shake it.
3. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Lincoln gives his group of white and black volunteers a pep talk before they go door to door to get out the vote. He’s got charisma. He can talk the talk and walk the walk.
4. INT./EXT. BLACK HOME – DAY
Lincoln speaks to an old couple about the issues and voting. The discussion devolves into him revealing his own past pains caused by whites. Little murders of the soul. He stops himself. What’s happening to him? Old man says the black man carries a chip on their shoulders for the way the white man has treated them. It is what it is and isn’t going away any time soon. But you can’t let hate win you over. If you do, you’re dead.
5. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Lincoln continues canvassing. A car follows him. Lincoln turns around to look. A shimmer of light and… no car. He turns the corner and the car is following him again. He runs. Car comes close but then is gone again. Lincoln wonders if he’s going crazy. Then – the driver appears again. His car window opens and a rifle sticks out. It fires. Barely missing Lincoln. But then the car is gone again.
6. INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Lincoln looks for his wife. The nurse station shimmers. Lizzie is at front desk. It shimmers again and it’s Nubia. He tells her that he thinks he’s losing it.
7. INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
He’s getting a scan. Nothing wrong with him. Nubia says he’s under too much pressure. He’s got to stop.
8. EXT. CAINE’S NEIGHBORHOOD – EVENING
Caine sees his wife being dropped off. A black man is driving. She waves good-bye. He stews.
9. INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
Lizzie calls Caine for dinner. He doesn’t answer. She finds him immersed in the Bible. They argue over him/her/family. He insists what he does, he does for them! She loves him but hates what he’s becoming. In an Iago-esque madness, he says he saw her with that black man, accuses her of rejecting him because she’s sleeping with him. Accuses her of wanting to sleep with Lincoln too. She tries to tell him that she was just getting a lift home from work. Caine rages on about his sister getting raped by black monsters?! Lizzie says his sister was a drug-addict prostitute! It’s time he stopped pretending she was a saint! Calling her a whore, he hits her until she’s still…
10. EXT. HOSPITAL/INT. CAR – NIGHT
Lincoln leaves hospital’s and is driving home when, suddenly, the ground quakes and the neighborhood looks different.
11. EXT. CAINE’S STREET – NIGHT
Disoriented, Lincoln drives on, sees the car that tried to run him down. It’s got the same dents. He gets out of his car with a gun. He spies Caine burying something in the backyard. He aims his gun at him. His hand shakes. He shoots and misses. Caine dives for his rifle. Fires back. Lincoln runs. Dives into his car and speeds away.
12. EXT. LINCOLN’S HOME – DAY
He heads out. Checks his car. The bullet holes are real.
13. EXT. GET OUT THE VOTE RALLY – DAY
Lincoln is speaker. He’s struggling to speak. Not the peaceful warrior anymore, his speech turns hateful. The crowd reacts. Some boo, others cheer him on.
Caine sets him in his sights. Sees the boy Elijah with his Grandma and it gives him pause. They’re up front. Caine fires. Misses. Hits Grandma! Crowd scatters. Lincoln is being rushed off stage when he spots Caine and gives chase. He thinks he has him cornered but… it’s as if he’s disappeared into thin air.
14. INT. LINCOLN HOME – DAY
Lincoln finds his wife home. Unusual as she should be at the hospital working. She says she wasn’t feeling well. Lincoln sees someone hurrying toward the house with a rifle? He freaks, throws his wife to the ground for safety. Nothing happens. Nubia points out there is no man with a rifle. Worries for Lincoln. He’s paranoid, angry, defensive. He rages about driving while black. Walking while black. Jogging while black. His latent hostility grows.
15. EXT. LINCOLN HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
… weather roils and quakes.
16. EXT./INT. CAINE HOME – DAY
Caine, carrying his rifle, hurries inside. His daughter comes to the house. She wants to see her mom. He sends her away.
17. INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
He calls his sister. It’s late and she was asleep. He talks about her rape by black men, how he should have saved her but he’s making up for it now. She says to let it go. It was a long time ago. She was an addict. Shit happens. She’s clean now. All is good. Caine is furious. Says she was never those things! Why is she lying to him?! She tells him he just hears what he wants.
EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Caine drives around looking for someone black to kill. Runs over an innocent black man. A crowd forms.
As Caine tries to speed away, he’s hit by another car. It’s Lincoln. The chase is on.
ACT THREE
(Add police after them both)
1. EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT
Car chase through the city. Alarms go off as quakes hit. The world’s fabric seems to be rending…
Both crash their cars. Get out and pursue each other on foot.
2. EXT. CAINE’S BACKYARD – NIGHT
Police arrive to investigate shots. Find the body he was burying. They search the house and then for him…
3. EXT./INT. COTTON PROCESSING PLANT – NIGHT
Both men chase shadows. It’s cats and mouse where both appear, one disappears never quite in full view of the other. More quakes cause near collapse of building.
4. INT. LINCOLN’S HOME – NIGHT
Nubia is calling around asking friends if they’ve seen her husband. The weather outside is crazy. If he’s out in it, he could get hurt or hurt somebody…
(Maybe she calls the police…)
5. EXT. SKY – NIGHT
It appears to be ripping apart.
6. INT. PLANT – NIGHT
The men’s search for each other intensifies. Shadows and shapes pulsing in and out. Their bullets ricochet and each is struck. Building is coming down. Both drag themselves to get out.
7. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Caine drags himself out into the night. Moon shines down on pools of water. As he bleeds out, he sees his reflection in the water and doesn’t understand.
8. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Lincoln drags himself out, sees his reflection in water. It’s not him but Caine. The two men are directly in front of the other. Their two heads could touch. In their dying moments, they look up at each other a BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT washes all out…
9. EXT. SPACE
Strings appear in the blackness and resonate like harp strings. (String Theory) A FLASH OF LIGHT then…
10. EXT. MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Literally, the sun shines on a newly formed reality. Caine’s daughter and husband stroll with their baby past black and white townspeople who warmly greet them. Grandma comes to comment warmly on Emmy’s baby mixed race baby…
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June Fortunato’s NQ 3 (Dilemma) and 4 (Theme)
5. Above your work, answer the question “What I’ve learned doing this assignment is… Except
for getting to know fellow writers, which was good, the review of each others works in the
feedback week was a serious blow for momentum. We asked each other to review our works
based on one-line statements- and therefore it was difficult to fully comprehend each others
concepts. 2. Putting ideas together, my scene list is currently inconsistent but it’s in the
development stage and that’s OK with me right now.
Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
1. Tell us your concept.
Once you stop running, everything catches up with you.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
Roy is torn between running with Kim- his true soul mate who makes him feel alive- and
knowing that he can only survive if he stops running- and she refuses to stop.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
First turn- Roy and Kim are having a great time- his past gets triggered, and he freaks out- Kim
talks him down and he starts to realize that he needs her- she’s what was missing in his life. He
starts to feel that life isn’t worth living without her.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
The longer they skate around without a place, the closer he is to losing his chance at his
money/an easy life. The more things they do together, the more memories they share. The closer
they get, the more freaked out Kim gets and pulls away. He comes to believe that if Kim forgives
him as a proxy for those he wronged, that he will somehow come to heal.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
Mid point Roy knows that she will never fully forgive her past, nor will she stop running. He has
begged her. He must leave her to save himself. But then, life isn’t worth much without her. He
searches for her. They find each other again. Yet again, he’s faced with his terrible choice, and
clock has one day left before it runs out. He decides to commit suicide. Kim rescues him from
the brink.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Lives of escaping by running and living on the edge. They have to face the grave mistakes of the
past, forgive, and learn to accept being worthy of breathing. They have to embrace all the
wrongs, give in, and learn to rise to their feet.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
Forgiveness is ongoing. Denial.
Loneliness.
Belief, acceptance.
Trust. Safety/security.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Forgiveness/denial
Loneliness/trust & security
Rejection/belief
Roy can never forgive himself for what he did.
Kim can never forgive what was done to her.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Roy melts down. He keeps running. He doesn’t feel worthy to love anyone.
Kim runs whenever Roy gets too close. She is afraid to trust and believe in his love.
And yet Kim sees in him the guilt that she wishes her family felt. She feels in Roy the innocence
that she buried long ago. With him, she can bring back the goofy kid she lost long ago. With
Roy, she’s afraid to feel safe, and yet, safe slips in like a warm bath.
Kim forgives him and lets him know that he’s a good man. But she needs something big to get
rid of her demons. His asking for forgiveness cannot kill off the demons that tear at Kim.
Kim shows Roy love that neither he nor she has ever felt. She brings him joy and with her, Roy
comes to believe that they can take on the world. And she comes to believe it, too.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Roy begs Kim to give him a chance at life. He says that he will try, every day, to forgive himself.
He promises to be patient and accept her in every way.
He blows up her family cabin to help her blow up the family guilt and his own.
They both weep cathartically at the sight.
4. In the current version of your outline, fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process.
List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
1. Logline
Retirement Crazyass supermoocher has to get a permanent address or lose his SSI benes when he
meets superior super moocher, Kim who plays the same game and who steals his heart. He can’t
live without her, she won’t stop running, and after a lot of wild rides and lonely desperation, Roy
figures out a way to have his place and his woman, too.
2. Genre
Love/Buddy
4. Protagonist Character Arc:
A) Part to be changed: After a shit childhood, and retaliating by killing the enemy in a war,
Roy feels he can never deserve a comfortable life- that he was always worthless, and can’t
accept what he did, despite the fact that he got a medal of honor for saving his comrades.
B) Biggest Fear: If he stops running, he’ll be caught up by his demons and haunted by the
souls of those he snuffed out.
C) Completion of arc: Kim’s love has helped him to feel worthy of living an easier life.
OPENING
EXT: COTTAGE – EVENING
Roy waits outside for his girl- a nurse- to get happier. After many hours, he realizes that ooops,
she is- because she moved out and the house is empty.
INT. COTTAGE – CONTINUOUS
Roy pulls whatever’s left in the apartment together and sleeps in a hallway to stay warm.
INT. COTTAGE – DAWN
Outside, a landlord opens the door and Roy escapes into the bathroom. The landlord brings in a
cleaning crew- so Roy escapes through the window, jacks the van and runs it into a WAWA.
INT. JAIL CELL- AFTERNOON
Roy is surrounded by other arrested men and there’s a teen there, too. They get a meal, but it’s so
rotten that he and the boy smash the food all over the floor and slide in it.
Realizing that they might be forced to eat it, and calculating that a hospital has better food and
beds anyway, Roy clogs the toilet with the food and gets beaten to a pulp by the other guys in the
cell.
Inciting incident: INT. HOSPITAL ROOM- MORNING
Roy is in traction. He nearly died. His ex girlfriend- a nurse, walks in. She makes sure that he
gets manhandled when he’s washed, etc. but cuts him a break by finding a pro-bono lawyer for
him. When Roy is able to hobble around, he passes Kim, another patient in the hallway.
INT. HOSPITAL Kim, recovering from a bullet wound and expected to go to court, grabs keys
from the nurse’s station, finds the car to which they belong, and takes off with it. They are Roy’s
ex-girlfriend’s keys.
INT. DRESSING ROOM – FANCY BOUTIQUE
Kim hides a gorgeous bathing suit under her clothes while she chats up a lady in the next
changing booth and swaps the lady’s valet pass for her own.
INT. CAR – DAY
Kim finds a bunch of good things in the car, including a gym pass.
INT. PARKING GARAGE – AFTERNOON
The lady in the dressing room discovers that instead of her nice car, a beater shows up.
INT. HOSPITAL- NURSE’S STATION- Ex gets a call from the police that her car was found.
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Ex girl storms into Roy’s hospital room, but he’s still there, in traction- and he flirts with her.
INT. COURTROOM: The pro bono lawyer discovers that Roy has a chunk of uncollected
money from SSI, Veterans and in fact, a monthly pay boost from the Vets because he received an
uncollected Medal of Honor. The money pays for his court, damages and hospital costs, but he
must find a permanent place to live or lose his ongoing claim to benefits. He has one month.
INT. SPORTING CLUB SWIMMING POOL: Kim loudly speaks to herself while crashing the
swimming pool and club to bathe.
EXT. COURTHOUSE- CONTINUOUS
Roy exits the courthouse, physically crumpled, and the lawyer gives Roy a few bucks. Kim,
glowing, exits the club and sees him across the street.
EXT. SPORTING CLUB STREET- Kim crosses the street and asks him for a cigarette. He
recognizes her. He invites her to the VOUS, a cheap bar near there.
INT. VOUS- EVENING
They eat sloppy food and have drinks. She gets up to go to the ladies room and disappears. He
waits there until the place closes, then goes to the ladies room. He hides to spend the night.
INT. VOUS- NIGHT
After the crew leaves, Roy re-emerges, sets up tables to sleep on and gives himself a bottle to
cuddle.
3. First 10 pages: Roy squats from place to place, visits several apartment buildings, but can’t
find a permanent address.
EXT. BELLEVUE HOTEL- EARLY MORNING
Having grabbed a loaf of bread newly delivered to a restaurant – he stares up at the Bellevue
hotel.
CROSS CUTS BETWEEN ROY’S LIFE AND KIM’S LIFE of squatting in places, stealing food,
stealing clothing. They cross paths at a distance.
EXT. PARKING LOT – EVENING Detectives find the lady from the boutique’s car. Cash has
been taken, but the doors were locked and the car, safely parked in a lot.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING INDUSTRIAL AREA
Agent tells Roy that he has to have first and last month’s rent and no, doesn’t matter if he’s a vet no
pre-credit extended. After the guy walks away, Roy re-enters the building and finds a way to
crash that apartment anyway.
EXT. CLIFFSIDE CABIN
Kim’s visit to look at her family cabin near a cliff are in this beat. She contemplates suicide or
violence and catcalls an onlooker.
4. First turn end of Act 1:
INT. 4 STAR HOTEL STAIRWELL
Roy has been enjoying an unused balcony at the Bellevue hotel, the food is terrific, bathrooms,
and even ‘free’ jackets of wait staff. He has a huge plate of shrimp and wonderful brunch foods,
and finds Kim in the stairwell, similarly eating well. Bonding. He charms her.
INT. 4 STAR HOTEL. SUITE
Kim ushers Roy to her pad: a suite in the hotel that Kim has been crashing. Very plush. What a
gas! Kim somehow has access to richer, better places. (No wonder Roy thinks that she’s
‘very classy’)
SCENE OF SERIES of Roy and Kim and the various places they crash, rides they steal, etc.
They begin to bond & run together. A blast!
The arc of the scenes is: sunshine, then very dark, then sunshine again.
EXT. TOWNHOME- DAY
Kim lands a house sitter job- Roy is smitten by how clever Kim is. The woman who owns
the house is in the hospital for an undetermined length, and they pet sit and live the lifefood,
booze, pets! shelter, heat, even media access. Even access to her car. Bliss.
EXT. CARNIVAL- AFTERNOON
At one point, at a carnival the sight of a family on a picnic pushes Roy’s guilt button and he’s
distraught. He goes wild jumps onto a stage- fake six shooters and spurs and chaps- wild
Roy- and he pulls Kim onto the stage- she hates it- It’s a horrific scene. He melts down.
Roy starts a progression of scenes where he slowly comes to terms with his past. Kim, so
close, calms him. She forgives him and lets him know that with her- he’s a good man. But she
needs something big to get rid of her demons. His ask for forgiveness cannot kill off the demons
that tear at her.
Kim shows Roy love that neither he nor she has ever felt. She brings him joy and with her, Roy
comes to believe that they can take on the world. She helps but also triggers these things, and
she stays by him until she pulls him out of it. His facing the past, his fear and abject self loathing
resonates with Kim so she disappears when it gets too close to her own trauma for
comfort.
EXT. KIM ON A STREET- NIGHT
But after a bad night alone, she comes back to the housesit, and Roy is there.
5. Mid point sequence: Roy and Kim visit the hospitalized owner of the house-sit to keep
her up to date on the pets and home. They sneak the lady’s pets in to see her, This thrills
the lady no end. She bonds with Roy and Kim this is the beginning of her trust in them.
She’s taken with them as a couple. Her encouragement leads Roy think that maybe he really
can have joy.
On a thrilling adventure, Roy lets slip that he’s smitten with Kim and wants to stay with her
but his time is running out. Instead of just disappearing, she flatly refuses. Heartbroken,
that’s why he has to leave. Heartbroken, she goes on a scam bender. She stays with the pet
sit. He must find another place.
EXT. FILM SET Roy weasels his way onto a film set and works as a Pyro Technician. The crew
think he’s one of them. He sleeps in the honeywagon, eats the food, gets clothes from the
costumer and actually earns his way until payday, when he can’t get paid. The unions are pissed
off. His supervisor and pals who like him, give him some cash but he must leave. On his way
out, he sets pyro under the union boss’ trailer.
Xcut
6. Second turn-end of act 2: Roy longs for Kim. He still hasn’t found a permanent place of his
own,
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE -DAY
When Roy discovers Kim shoplifting, he’s thrilled. She shows him how to do it- They have
more escapades, but she can’t face her demons, so
INT. TOWNHOUSE -NIGHT
She leaves in the night. And he is now at the pet sit alone. His heart is broken all over again but
he suspects that she doesn’t want to do this life without him, either.
INT. HOSPITAL- DAY
They rediscover each other at the hospital, when they each go independently to visit the lady.
They start meeting there daily. More visits with the lady in the hospital and sneaking the pets
in. On alternate days, a different person has the pets.
The lady makes a deal that if they promise to stay together, she’ll consider leaving her house and
pets to them in her will. She doesn’t want the government or her nasty nephew and niece in law
to take her house anyway.
While at the hospital, the staff tells them that the lady is being moved to hospice. The nurses in
hospice discourage pets because it lengthens people’s lives.
INT. BELLEVUE SUITE- NIGHT
On a lark, the two crash the hotel suite because, well, having a permanent place is so unsexy for
Kim. They’ve snuck the pets in, too. At one point, they grab food, also for the pets, bottles of
champagne- etc.
While Roy is scouting food, Kim finds Roy’s medal of honor tucked into an old towel,
and learns that Roy saved his fellow soldiers in war.
Roy finally gives up his past- why he lives this life; why he acts this way. It’s because,
finally, despite the fact that Kim’s so elusive, he trusts her. She has his heart. But she won’t
commit, and slips away once again. The hotel just isn’t fun without her.
EXT. TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT
When he gets to the townhouse, he’s locked out. The woman’s niece in law has taken over
ownership. Roy and Kim have somehow lost the pet sit house.
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Second turn-end of act 2: ROY finds Kim in the lady’s car and joins her there. They go around
for the day, but, she just can’t face her demons, and abandons him in a park.
7. Crisis: The clock is nearly run out. Roy has lost everything. Roy can’t find a place, can’t find
Kim and can’t figure it out alone anymore. Without Kim, too, life is not worth breathing. He
decides to follow a plan they discussed, and jump to his death near her family’s cliffside cabin.
8. Climax:
EXT. CLIFFSIDE CABIN
ROY is at the cliff. He is about to jump, and Kim appears. Instead of doing a “Thelma and
Louise”, when Kim catches Roy contemplating suicide she finally tells her truth. He convinces
Kim that he has a plan to make her happy and they both pull each other away from the brink.
Fiercely empathetic, Roy, a pyro guy, blows up the cabin on the cliff which houses the dark
events of Kim’s past and his own. They both weep cathartically at the sight.
Roy begs Kim to give him a chance at life. He says that he will try, every day, to forgive himself.
He promises to be patient and accept her in every way.
Roy has a plan to stay mischievous. “Settle down” does not mean to ‘settle” Roy promises an
exciting and mischievous life for Kim and begs her to share his life.
9. Resolution:
INT. COURTROOM- DAY
Roy and Kim win the legal right to the housesit and put their names on the address. The lady
from the hospice is there.
INT. HOSPICE- DAY
Back at the hospice, they promise the lady that they will take care of her pet babies and home.
Roy keeps Kim’s life happy with pretend mooching and lots of smooching. He will pre-pay
everything and make her believe that they’re getting over on people and she suspends her
disbelief to play the life game with him. They visit the lady throughout her last days.
The lady feels so good on some days, that she thinks she may even move back to the house
and live with them. Which, in the last seconds of the film, makes Roy and Kim look at each
other and you know what they’re thinking: “Uh Oh. Gotta go.”
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Lisa’s NQ 3 and 4
DAY 10: Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4
Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…?” Integrating details into the story should be done at this early stage to create a stronger plot.
1. Tell us your concept.When Santa is kidnapped by her ex-husband to pay back taxes, a super mom must save him, her ex, and the It’s a Wonderful Life festival.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
In the Opening when Mary saves her ex-husband, Peter from drowning after he jumps off the George Bailey bridge. It shows his torture from his life situations. And it shows how Mary always saves him from himself.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
Mary tries NOT to take care of her ex-husband, but once again she finds herself in a situation where she feels she has no choice…after all, he is the father of her two daughters.
Peter is desperate to get himself out of a financial hole and he wants steady work again. He wants to be able to move on after the divorce, but he feels stuck by circumstances. The townspeople treat him with respect because of his military service, but he doesn’t feel like a hero.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
When she finds out that Santa’s kidnapper is Peter, she chooses to try to help him. And Mary is a volunteer firefighter, so she feels an obligation to save both…and protect the town.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Mary must turn to her friends, the townspeople to help her pull off the festival while she goes after Santa and Peter.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
She is not alone who has friends…and family.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Mary likes to do everything herself. But in the end, she realizes she needs help from her friends to pull off the festival.
Peter feels alone in the world. He’s lost his wife and almost his kids with the divorce. He doesn’t feel like the decorated war hero that he is. The kindness of the town moves Peter to turn his life around and be grateful for everything he has…friends and family.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Mary runs around taking care of the kids and the house, organizing the events and the people for the festival, and volunteers as a firefighter. She clearly needs help!
Peter jumps off the George Bailey bridge in the opening scene…and his ex-wife saves him. Peter’s embarrassment is shown throughout. He is embarrassed by his divorce, his near loss of his business, that he has suffered from PSTD, that he can’t find steady work, that he relies on the kindness of the townspeople to keep him occupied by doing odd jobs around their homes.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
The resolution has Santa vouching for Peter to keep him out of jail. The town gives Peter the money they made from the festival to pay off his back taxes. Peter is forgiven and decides to move on with Tilly. Mary decides to move on with Joseph, who has agreed that the winery will finance next year’s festival. “No one is alone who has friends and family.”
OUTLINE for “Mary’s Christmas”
Opening: Mary saves a man from drowning, shows us that she is a busy mom of two daughters and a miniature dachshund. She is organizing the annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival. Also, Mary works at the local winery with her boss, Joe. We feel the physical tension between them. Mary’s ex-husband is out of regular work as a snowmobile repair man because it hasn’t snowed in 3 years.
1. EXT. GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE – NIGHT
Mary and her partner come across a man on George Bailey bridge at night in the pouring rain in their firetruck and Mary sees it’s her ex-husband, Peter. Peter is crying and is up on the railing. Mary hates heights, but she ends up saving Peter then lays into him about what he was trying to do.
2. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Mary’s kitchen is full of Christmas goodies for the it’s a Wonderful Life festival. She calls for Uncle Billy to come eat. When she turns around to call again, Uncle Billy, a miniature dachshund, is sitting behind her with his head cocked. He goes over to his bowl and eats.
3. INT-BEDROOM-DAY
Ruthie is in her bedroom looking at the NORAD site on her computer. Her mom calls for her and she yells back that the computer is broken. She closes it and runs downstairs.
4. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Peter enters the eat-in kitchen of the Ma Jenkins Boarding House. Ma orders her grandson to stand because a decorated war hero is entering the room. Peter sits down to eat breakfast. The boy sits second.
5. INT-SUV-DAY
Ruthie and Janie ask about their father on the way to school. Mary nearly runs over Peter when he steps off the curb in front of the boarding house. Mary tells the girls to stay in the car. They protest and shout hello to their father. Mary gives in and let’s Peter say hi to the girls who have a phone on the NORAD site, and they show Peter.
6. INT-COURTROOM-DAY
Judge admonishes Peter for not being able to pay back taxes <s>back child support</s>. Peter is on hard times because there hasn’t been any snow and he’s a snowmobile repair man. Judge will send him to jail on Christmas day if he doesn’t come up with the money.
7. INT-HALLWAY-DAY
Mary and Peter discuss their girls outside the court room. Mary tells him he knows the girls love him. Peter and his girlfriend, Tilly discuss the NORAD site and how Santa gets down the chimney. Peter has an idea.
8. INT-SENECA FALLS WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary works with Angel, her best friend and they discuss what happened at the courthouse and Joseph, their boss. They discuss Peter and how Mary is always helping him. Joe asks Mary out and she declines.
9. EXT-OUTSIDE OFFICE-DAY
Joe expresses his love for Mary. Joe gives Mary a raise because of the situation with Peter.
10. EXT-NORTH POLE-DAY
Peter and Tilly kidnap Santa on snowmobiles.
11. INT-CONTROL ROOM-DAY
At NORAD HQ, Santa starts to move on the giant screen. It’s too early. Dash and Don are assigned to go find Santa.
12. EXT-FOREST-DAY
Snowmobiles catch some air. Snow is starting to thin. They continue on foot with blindfolded Santa in tow.
13. EXT-ROAD-DAY
Dash and Don are trying to track Santa’s signal.
14. INT-WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary tells Angel that she’s not going to play “Mary Bailey” this year. She says she will push for Angel to play her.
15. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Main street is all lit up with lights and decorations. A sign reads ‘Wonderful Life Meeting Tonight – All Are Welcome!’
16. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-NIGHT
Mary and Angel discuss how good Joe is with the girls as they watch them together. Introduction of other townspeople. Everyone is assigned different roles and tasks. After the meeting, Joe tries to give Mary her Christmas present early, but she won’t take it.
Inciting Incident: Mary backs away from playing “Mary Bailey” this year. Mary’s children having trouble watching the NORAD site where Santa’s movements are tracked leading up to Christmas. Santa is gone! Someone has kidnapped Santa at the north pole and are heading for Seneca Falls, NY and the IAWL festival.
By page 10, you know what the movie is about: The audience knows that Mary is a bad ass volunteer firefighter. They know that she is torn between two loves. The audience knows that Santa is missing at the same time the town gets ready for the IAWL festival.
17. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-NIGHT
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run alongside a slow-moving freight train. They get into the train car, and it starts to go faster.
18. EXT-CANADIAN ROAD-NIGHT
Dash and Don track the Santa signal and realize they are moving faster than snowmobiles.
19. INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY
Ruthie tells Mary something is wrong with the laptop because it’s not following Santa. Out the window, it’s snowing!
20. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-DAY
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run into the woods.
21. INT-CAR-DAY
Dash and Don are still in Canada and realize the signal has stopped in Seneca Falls, NY. Border guards stop them and laugh that they are chasing Santa.
22. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Main Street is full of people there for the festival. Ernie is passing out chestnuts in front of the Clarence Hotel. There’s a line outside of ZuZu’s Café. A group of scavenger hunters are leaving the community center.
23. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
On the outskirts of town, Peter unlocks the door and he, Tilly, and Santa go inside.
24. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter finds tracking device on Santa. Peter interrogates Santa on how he gets down the chimneys. Santa won’t say.
25. EXT-FRONT YARD-DAY
Ruthie and Janie are playing in the yard in the snow. Uncle Billy is running around barking at them. Joe and Mary are watching from the front window.
26. INT-HOUSE-DAY
Mary and Joe argue over moving their relationship forward. Joe leaves. Uncle Billy comes in and Mary rubs him with a towel as he licks her face.
Turning point at end of Act 1: Mary doesn’t know where Peter is. Joe is pressuring her to move their relationship to the next level.
27. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Dash and Don enter Seneca Falls. People are everywhere for the festival. They ask Ernie where the parade starts…down by the movie theater at the other end of the street. They head in that direction.
28. EXT-SIDE STREET-DAY
Mary checks out a large float. Angel calls Mary’s cell and tells her to get to the community center now.
29. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter and Tilly discuss how to get out of this and that they didn’t think everything out…like how to get Santa back to the North Pole. Tilly says she’s not going through with it and leaves.
30. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DAY
The town Santa is sick, and Mary must play Santa because Angel has the radio show. Mary puts on the Santa suit.
31. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter and Santa leave the shop and head towards town. Peter makes Santa carry rope in his sack. Mary drives up looking for Peter, but he’s not there.
Mid-Point: Mary is very worried because she can’t get in touch with Peter. She’s afraid he may try hurt himself again. But she must worry about the festival too.
32. EXT-MAIN STREET-DUSK
Santa 5K starts and all runners are dressed as Santa and it’s snowing heavily now. Dash and Don are trying to figure out who is the real Santa as they run too. Peter and Santa run along in the group until they get to the other end of town and then run toward houses.
33. EXT-RESIDENTIAL STREET-DUSK
Neighborhood of houses lit for Christmas, but everyone is in town. Peter and the real Santa come out of the woods and move toward the back of a house.
34. INT-POLICE STATION-DUSK
Mary has told the police that Peter and Santa are missing. The police laugh at her. She explains he might be suicidal and leaves in frustration.
Turning point at end of Act 2: Mary can’t find Peter, so she goes to the police station, but the police don’t believe that he has kidnapped Santa and they laugh at her.
35. EXT-SIDE STREET-NIGHT
Mary gets on the firetruck and as the float starts to move, she sees someone behind the Davis’s house…it looks like Santa. She jumps off the truck and runs toward the house.
36. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Angel and Joe have the girls along the parade route. Angel whispers to Joe that Mary will be playing Santa at the end of the parade.
37. EXT-LIBRARY-NIGHT
Dash and Don come around the library and see a Santa far away running toward the neighborhood. They take off after Santa.
Crisis: Mary trades places with the real Santa to save him and deal with Peter.
38. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Mary sneaks up behind Santa and covers his mouth, points him to the woods. Mary climbs the ladder (still afraid of heights) and scoots along the roofline. Peter orders her to go down the chimney. Mary and Peter argue on the roof. Dash and Don see them. Joseph has tracked them down too.
39. EXT-PARADE-NIGHT
The real Santa has jumped on another firetruck and is waving to the children yelling Ho, Ho, Ho! Those who know, remark on how great Mary is as Santa.
40. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Peter orders Santa to go down the chimney, Mary stalls and tries to talk Peter out of doing it. She stands up on the roof as Peter gets more agitated. Peter tries to force Santa down the chimney, and they struggle. Firefighters have moved the ladder truck over to the house and Dash & Don climb on the roof and point their guns at Peter. Mary stops them from shooting him then falls off the roof hanging by the gutters. Joseph below tells her to let go and he will catch her. She does and they fall in the snow.
41. EXT-YARD-NIGHT
Santa returns as Dash and Don are taking Peter to their car. Santa convinces them to let Peter go.
Climax: Mary, dressed as Santa, trades places with the real Santa and thwarts Peter’s plan. Peter is getting arrested, but Santa says he won’t press charges and for them to let Peter go.
42. INT-COURTROOM-DAY
Christmas morning, Peter turns himself in for the tax <s>child support</s> charges. Mary comes in and says it’s a miracle. The townspeople enter and pay Peter’s back taxes with the festival money. They each vouch for Peter, each saying why they are grateful for Peter. And they have found a sponsor to pay for next year’s festival.
43. INT-HOUSE-DAY
Mary, Ruthie, Janie, and Uncle Billy have had Christmas. Peter and Tilly are celebrating with the girls too. Joe comes over to give Mary her Christmas gift.
44. EXT-PORCH-DAY
It’s still snowing. Joe gives Mary an engagement ring. Mary says she knows that the winery is going to foot the bill for next year’s festival. Mary accepts the ring, and they kiss as Uncle Billy barks and tries to get between their feet.
Resolution: Christmas day in court, Peter is there to turn himself in for the back taxes’ charge. The townspeople come with the money they made from the festival and give it to Peter to pay his debt. He won’t accept it. But they tell him they have found a sponsor who will pay for the next year’s festival, and they want him to have it because he’s done so much for all of them.
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ProSeries 81 – Outlining Day 10 Assignment – Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4
PS81 – Dana’s 4th Pass – NQ 3 and 4
What I learned during this assignment:
This assignment made me consider the opposite side of the Dilemma and Theme that I had never considered. Understanding the either-or decisions my protagonist must make through the story added deeper layers and emphasis her character.
Concept:
A patient with multiple personality disorder calls a radio psychiatrist and warns that his more dominant and violent personality will kill one member her kidnapped family every hour on air unless she can excise his violent personality before the end of the show.
Emotional Dilemma:
Choice A: Does Ellen risk the lives of her family and try to dissuade the kidnapper from killing them?
Choice B: Does Ellen sacrifice her humanity and manipulate her patient into killing himself before he can execute his threat?
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
Ellen’s husband confirms on air that he and their daughters have been kidnapped.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
Ellen continually tries to dissuade her patient from killing her husband and daughters.
But as the violent personality becomes more threatening, Ellen is pushed to sacrifice her professional ethics to save her daughters.
C. When does the protagonist make the choices?
After her husband is killed on air by her patient.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Ellen loses her humanity by pushing her patient to kill himself.
Theme:
Sacrificing one’s humanity to save innocent lives.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Preserving one’s humanity to save innocent lives.
Side 2: Sacrificing one’s humanity to save innocent lives.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Ellen tries to talk her patient out of killing her family, but after his violent personality kills her husband, she pushes his most vulnerable personality into killing himself to save her daughters.
C. How does the climax of your story demand your message?
Ellen collapses emotionally when her patient kills himself. She has lost her humanity but saved her daughters.
STRUCTURE OUTLINE
1. INT./EXT. ELLEN’S CAR – DAY
Ellen is late for work and listening to a competitor’s radio show. She receives a phone call from her producer. Ellen is missing the staff meeting with the station manager. Ellen completely forgot.
Now more anxious, Ellen answers a call from her husband, Roger. His car won’t start, and he’s using Uber to take their daughters to school before he heads to work. But he needs Ellen to pick them up after her radio show. They argue about her work interfering with their family, and when she hangs up, she uses a few harsh words toward her husband.
2. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Ellen parks in the lot and runs inside, grappling with her purse and briefcase.
3. INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Ellen’s producer meets her in a panic. She takes Ellen’s purse and briefcase and hurries Ellen into the conference room.
4. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Ellen enters a packed room. Every chair around the table is full. Sheepishly, she sits down, but the meeting is adjourned. She’s mortified.
After everyone leaves, Ellen meets with the station manager. He’s concerned about her ratings. She spends too much time with each caller. She’s no supposed to cure people. She’s supposed to advise them and move on. She needs to get her ratings up them up.
5. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen and her producer prepare for her show. Ellen relays the station manager’s meeting. Ellen wonders if she has what it takes to host a radio show. The producer tries to build her confidence. Ellen discusses how she left private practice and disrupted her family for this show.
Two minutes air, her producer takes her seat the production booth. Ellen settles in behind her microphone.
6. INT. PRODUCTION BOOTH – DAY
The station manager enters, and Ellen’s producer scolds him for his poor people skills dealing with Ellen, making her more self-conscience and nervous. He tells the producer he has a replacement already in mind. The station manager hovers to listen to the first call.
7. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
We hear the show’s intro, and Ellen welcomes her listeners. She’s smooth and in control, but the first call is boring.
8. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
The station manager leaves, disappointed. The producer screens the next caller, Jason, who suffers from multiple personality disorder. She puts him through immediately.
INCITING INCIDENT
9. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen engages the caller, drawing him out. When she recognizes Jason as an old patient, she advises that it’s inappropriate to continue the conversation. But before she an end the call, Jason informs Ellen that his more dominant and violent personality has kidnapped her family and that he intends to kill one every hour on air unless she excises the personality by the end of the show.
Stunned, not sure how to respond, the producer intercedes for Ellen and disconnects the call and goes to a commercial. Ellen tells her producer how and when she knew the caller.
Ellen grabs the studio phone and call her husband, but no answer. She calls the school to ask about her children.
10. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
The station manager comes in. He quips about boring calls. Ellen learns her children have not arrived yet. Maybe they’re just late. The school will call when they arrive. She’s concerned and unraveling. Her producer keeps her call. Back on air in 10 seconds.
The station manager leaves to call the police, just as a precaution.
11. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen takes the next call, but is clearly distracted, concerned about her family’s safety.
12. INT. POLICE STATION – DETECTIVE SQUAD
Detective Sorenson is assigned the investigation by his lieutenant. He’s alone. His partner’s in court. The lieutenant has no-one else. Sorensen accepts the case believing it’s a snipe hunt. A crank caller to a radio station. Just in case, the lieutenant will get departments ready.
13. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen is on air with another caller. During the break, she tries her husband again. Nothing. Calls his work. He hasn’t arrived. And the school still hasn’t called back.
14. INT. FRONT DESK – RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson arrives at the station. The station manager greets him, explains the situation. He takes Sorenson to meet Ellen.
15. INT. CONRTOL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson meets Ellen and reassures her not to worry. He will send units her husband’s work and to her daughter’s school. He interviews her to fill in the gaps.
FIRST TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 1
16. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
The producer screens another call. It’s Roger, Ellen’s husband. And when he’s put on air, he confirms he and their two daughters have been kidnapped. Ryan, the violent personality, is in control, and he explains the rules of his game. Ryan will only speak to Ellen. The show must never leave the air, even for a commercial.
17. INT. STATION – DAY
Sorenson coordinates the investigation. They need to track the husband’s phone. Put an APB on the patient, Jason and get his patient records. And they need to find the Uber driver.
18. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, in shock, begins pleading with Ryan. She wants to talk to her family. Ryan won’t allow it. Why is he doing this? Because she failed Jason. She abandoned him for the “circus” (radio), and now he – Ryan – is giving her second chance to redeem herself.
19. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson conducts the investigation from the radio station. Jason is homeless. Check shelters, hospitals, find someone who knows him who would know where he might be.
20. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen doctors her patient as Jason flips back and forth between personalities. The clock is coming up on the first hour. Sorenson – in the control booth – tells her to stall. SWAT is close.
21. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson gets a call. They have traced the husband’s phone. SWAT is enroute to the location.
22. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT commander instructs his men on the plan.
23. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen is still engaged with Jason, talking him down, stalling, waiting for SWAT.
24. INT. HOUSE – DAY
SWAT team in full gear breaches the front door storms inside.
25. INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
A man, ducked taped to a chair, tortured, dead. This is the Uber driver.
26. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson gets the call. It’s not Jason. But the husband’s phone is there. Jason/Ryan is using a spoof number.
27. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Laughing at the police incompetence, Jason informs Ellen it’s time for her choose which member of her family must die. Unable to choose, Jason threatens one of her daughters, and when Ellen pleads for her not to be harmed, Jason tells her that she has chosen by default.
We hear Jason drag her husband, Roger, into the room. Roger tells Ellen he loves her just before Jason shoots him on air. Jason hangs up, using radio jargon about taking a break.
Ellen flees from the booth, hysterical.
28. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson grabs her, and she falls into his arm on the floor, sobbing out of control. She says she’s going to be sick. He races her to the restroom.
29. INT. RESTROOM – DAY
Sorenson kicks open the door. Ellen falls into a stall and throws up. Sorenson tries to comfort her, to keep her strong. She slaps him hard, taking out her frustration on him. He tells her that Roger may be still alive, they “don’t know what we don’t know.” But now she must be strong for her daughters.
The station manager comes in. The caller is back on the line.
30. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, barely able to speak, sits back down at her microphone to speak with Jason/Ryan. But it’s someone new. A young boy, Bobby. Another personality. She engages Bobby about her husband. Roger is dead in the room. The daughters are in another room.
31. INT. PLACEHOLDER – STATION – DAY
Jason’s patient records are delivered to Sorenson. We see his picture for the first time.
MIDPOINT
32. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen falters. She becomes silent, deep in thought. Her producer and station manager are worried. They try to get her to engage Bobby. Sorenson enters. Everyone is concerned.
A determined, almost sinister visage appears in Ellen’s eyes. She speaks with Bobby about Jason, about his past personalities, specifically one named William. Does Bobby remember William? The others wonder what she’s doing.
33. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson opens Jason’s patient file and reads. He’s stunned by what he reads. William is a manic-depressive personality. And suicidal. Sorenson realizes what Ellen plans to do.
He warns Ellen that her strategy is dangerous and ill-advised.
34. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, still engaged with Bobby, gives Sorenson and the others a vengeful glare. She’s determined to save her daughters – her way. And she tries to pull out William’s personality.
35. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson receives a call from Jason’s sister living in Memphis. She tells Sorenson everything she knows. Will she talk to her brother on air?
36. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen learns Jason’s sister has called and puts her on air. Ellen listens to Jason’s sister tearfully plead for him to stop, breaking down Ellen emotions. But she remains resolute, reaching deeper into Jason to pull out William.
37. INT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson receives call from the department. They have a lead on Jason based on the information from the sister. But they need time.
SECOND ACT TURNING POINT
38. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
William is now speaking to Ellen. She pushes him into a depressive state, and although anguished by the harm she’s causing to her patient, Ellen tells him that the only way for him to have peace is to kill himself. William pleads for Ellen to stop, pushing her to her own limits.
CRISIS: Ryan intercedes again, realizing what Ellen is attempting to do, and threatens to kill one of her daughters.
39. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson on the phone. They have a fix on Jason, and units are on the way.
40. EXT. BRIDGE – DAY
The SWAT van and police cars, lights on, racing to the location.
41. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen pits the two personalities against one another. They flip back and forth, gun in hand, fighting for dominance.
Sorenson signals five minutes away.
42. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT team is getting ready.
43. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen pushes William to take control, to save her daughters, not to let Ryan win.
44. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson on his phone. SWAT is almost there. Minutes away. Sorensen yelling they’re out of time.
CLIMAX
45. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen pushing hard. The two personalities yelling, one then the next, like two people arguing. William pleads for Ellen to stop. Ellen pushes him to save his daughters.
Silence. Then…
The gun goes off. Then nothing. Ellen stands, staring that the others. They all wait, holding their breathes. We hear SWAT kick the door. Noise. Confusion. The call drops. Nothing.
Sorenson bursts into the studio. Jason is dead. Her daughters are safe. Ellen collapses, sobbing.
46. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Press and photographer surround the station. Sorenson walks Ellen to a waiting car. She’s wrapped in a blanket, emotionally drained.
47. INT. CAR – DAY
The car pulls away from the station. Ellen looks back at Sorenson who’s watching her leave. She places her hand against the glass to wave goodbye.
48. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson watches Ellen drive away. Camera flashes and questions assail him.
49. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Sorenson enters the squad room. The detectives stand and applaud. He’s given a heroes’ welcome. His lieutenant tells him to take the rest of the day.
Sorenson sits at his desk as everyone gets back to work. He receives a call, a physician from a local clinic. The physician tells Sorenson that he had been holding Jason for observation at his clinic under a different name for the past 10 days. Confused, Sorenson opens his computer. What’s the name? Randy Armstrong. He’s in the system. Sorensen types in the other name.
COMPUTER SCREEN: Jason’s picture pops up under Randy Armstrong. The physician didn’t put the face to the name until he saw Jason’s picture television.
Frantic, Sorenson opens Jason’s patient file. He scans the names of his other personalities.
INSERT JASON’S FILE. Sorenson’s finger drags down the page and finds Randy Armstrong listed as one of Jason’s other personalities.
The physician tells Sorenson that Randy was released and picked up by an Uber ride matching the dead Uber driver’s car an hour before Ellen’s family was kidnapped.
Sorenson suddenly realizes there had to be someone else involved.
CUT TO BLACK
VOICE OVER: A morning talk show host is talking about Dr. Ellen.
DISSOLVE TO:
50. EXT. CITYSCAPE – MORNING
VOICE OVER: A week has now passed. The host discusses the aftermath. One caller agrees with what Ellen did. Another doesn’t. The next caller tells the host he loves the show. It’s Ryan’s voice, who says, “I’m a long times listener. First time caller.”
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Anna Harper Changes 3 and 4 added to BEATS
What I learned from this assignment. The addition of these perspectives amplified the conflict and fleshed out the meaning of the story. These perspectives also gave the secondary lead character a stronger profile.
Tell us your concept.
It’s almost Christmas in a picture-perfect English village. a stray Newfoundland dog, Alfie who has telepathic superpowers befriends 13-year-old Dylan saving him from a series of wicked events. The loving relationship between Alfie and Dylan helps Dylan to understand how his choice to be mute must change in order that Dylan has a happier life and to accept the death of his mother. saving him, just in the nick of time, from being sent away to a ‘special school, arranged by his covertly and generally evil Dad’s girlfriend, Miss Perkins, (Dylan’s grade 6 teacher.) Alfie saves the magic and joy of Christmas by introducing a very lonely Steve (Dylan’s Dad) to a new love interest,
CHANGE and Dylan emerges from his egocentric experience of grief to a maturing empathic way of relating to others.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:The Emotional Dilemma is; should Dylan speak and burst out of his protective and self-centered (he is causing his Dad enormous distress) bubble of silence and grief where he believes he has control, or give up the illusion of control and the delusion of trying to maintain a sort of closeness to his dead mother and cope with the sometimes harsh realities of life and conversely the closeness of others. METAMORPHOSIS
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
The emotional dilemma first shows up when Dylan encounters Alfie who succeeds in two-way communication with an annoyed Dylan via telepathy. Soon Dylan responds to Alfie in a positive way, rescuing Dylan and Dylan rescuing Alfie.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
The issues are built up when Steve, Dylan’s Dad first encounters Alfie, Dylan is getting attached. Alfie is eliciting a caring attitude from Dylan as the dog is starving, dirty and homeless. Steve’s Dad however is annoyed at the mess and the disruption of plans and says he can only have Alfie for one night and then Alfie has to go to the pound.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
Dylan first breaks his silence in the cause of helping his friend Daisy. It did not succeed as Dylan did not follow the initial disclosure of Daisy’s abuse with speaking up on her behalf. Alfie coaches him towards another form of communicating using pictures, this also fails initially.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Dylan is still a child and is coping with the loss of his mother by staying in an intimate bubble of silent grief, he feels it a sort of closeness to his dead mother, he is not relating to the outside world in a functional way.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
The theme is maturation, giving up the attachment to his bubble of silence and some feeling of control, coming out of the bubble-like a chrysalis that has transformed and is able to interact with people and his new dog in a fuller way, allowing him to experience happiness and a greater sense of belonging.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
The outside world is making demands on Dylan. His Dad wants a relationship, and less drama in dealing with Dylan’s silence. The school, his friends, and his enemies try to provoke him into speaking, and there is the threat of a special boarding school far away from his village seaside home.
Dylan on the other hand is very reluctant, stubborn even in maintaining himself in silence. Eventually, he learns to come out of his chrysalis state in order to get what he wants, to stay at his home village, to be close to his Dad, to keep the dog, and to ensure his Dad’s potential relationships meet with his approval.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Both sides show up through conflict situations mostly. Dylan has to deal with being bullied, he has to communicate effectively with his Dad, and he has to protect his friend Daisy. These conflicts show up in bullying in the village in the school, and the abuse of his friend Dasiy. His Dad is getting more and more frustrated and even considers the boarding school.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
The climax of the story is in several vignettes where Dylan has to make choices and in the end shows Dylan speaking a whole sentence to his Dad to express joy.
4. In the current version of your outline, fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process. List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
SILENT NIGHT
CONCEPT
It’s almost Christmas in a picture-perfect English village. a stray Newfoundland dog, Alfie who has telepathic superpowers befriends 13-year-old Dylan saving him from a series of unpleasant events, the loving relationship between Alfie and Dylan, helps Dylan to understand how his choice to be mute must change in order that Dylan has a happier life and to accept the death of his mother, saving him, just in the nick of time, from being sent away to a ‘special school, arranged by his covertly and generally evil Dad’s girlfriend, Miss Elizabeth Perkins, (Dylan’s grade 6 teacher), luckily Alfie saves the magic and joy of the Christmas by introducing the very lonely Steve (Dylan’s Dad) to a new love. interest.
CHANGE Dylan emerges from his egocentric experience of grief to a maturing empathic way of relating to others.
Drama, 3 ACT Screenplay. 4 characters
LEAD CHARACTERS
DYLAN
Dylan is a 13-year-old boy, He is selectively totally mute since the death of his mother two years ago. With the help of Alfie, (dog) he overcomes bullying and the scheming of his evil teacher who wants to send him to boarding school, eventually, he starts to speak again. His struggle is both internal and external.
ALFIE
Alfie is an all-black Newfoundland stray dog. He has telepathic powers, enabling him to have conversations with Dylan. Alfie is Dylan’s life coach.
STEVE
Steve is Dylan’s Dad. He is the village bus driver, volunteer fireman, and local hero, He loves his son, and is at wit’s end trying to get Dylan to open up and start talking. He sometimes dates Elizabeth, Dylan’s grade 5 teacher (Dylan’s nemesis.)
ELIZABETH PERKINS’s newly expanded role
Dylan’s teacher an evil piece of work who covertly abuses the school children and makes Dylan’s life hell. In the story NEW Steve dumps her. She becomes enraged and steps up her nasty behavior towards Dylan.
THE DRAMATIC QUESTION
Original Will Dylan ever speak again
NEW
Will Dylan ever speak again, or will he remain an isolated victim stuck in a silent bubble of grief for his mother?
DILEMMA
ORIGINAL Dylan feels safe not talking, and close to his bereaved mother’s death, e also feels hopeless/joyless trying to deal with everything going wrong in his life. Alfie coaches him toward happiness.
NEW
Dylan wants to stay silent, he feels closer to his departed mother, he feels safe and lonely, until things go very wrong in his outside world, pushing him to make a choice he does not want to make.
THEME Metaphorphasis. STAYING WITH THIS FORMAT
The way forward is through letting go of the illusion of safety. The relentless forces of the outside world make Dylan’s changes almost inevitable. Finding the way through grief to live again with the help of his dog, friends, and his Dad, he has to give up his cocoon of silence and deal with life
Main Conflict(s) changes Original concept was an internal conflict with regard to Dylan speaking or not speaking and his increased difficulties managing his school life.
New conflicts
Steve becomes more assertive with regard to Dylan’s problems. He takes the lead and dumps Elizabeth, (after her suggestion of boarding school.) This enrages her and escalates her abuse at the school. Dylan and Alfie get into more scrapes and rebellion.
Dramatic Question(s) Will Dylan ever speak again NEW, How will Dylan stop the bullies?
Dilemma: Dylan feels safe not talking, and close to his bereaved mother’s death, NEW he also feels hopeless/joyless trying to deal with everything going wrong in his life. Alfie coaches him toward happiness.
New. He does not want to let his mother go If Dylan does not speak again he may lose Alfie, he will not be able to communicate effectively to stop or expose the escalating abuse at school, (now that his Dad has dumped an enraged Elizabeth.)
CHANGES TO BEATS PASS 4
BEATS
1. OPENING
EXT.VILLAGE SCHOOL/DAY
DYLAN exits school, looking warily behind, and then starts to run.
MISS ELIZABETH PERKINS is standing on the school steps, smiling and watching as a group of boys start to pursue Dylan into the village High St.
CHANGE
As the boys pursue Dylan, they call him names including “Dummy boy, Dumbo.”
2. INCITING INCIDENT
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY
Terrified, Dylan hides in doorways and eventually is forced to jump into a garbage skiff at the back of the fish and chip shop.
INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY
The bully boys give up. Dylan emerges from under the trash; he hears noises, very scared he starts to cry, and then a dirty scruffy huge all-black Newfoundland (ALFIE) emerges with the fish and chip newspaper wrapping in his mouth. Dylan screams and cowers in fear. Alfie speaks telepathically to Dylan
CHANGE
contd. bursting Dylan’s protective bubble with two way telepathic communication
FIRST TURNING POINT
ORIGINAL VERSION
Alfie wins Dylan over with his telepathic superpowers. They go home to find a starving Alfie food.
NEW VERSION
Dylan is shocked when Alfie talks to him telepathically and refuses to believe it’s happening. Alfie wins Dylan over by explaining that they have to leave or get caught by the bullies. He elicits Dylan’s empathy by explaining he is starving and needs food. (this is the start of taking Dylan out of a selfish type of isolation.) Dylan rebels at Alfie’s suggestion to get raw scraps of meat at the butcher shop and takes Alfie home for food and a bath. Dylan mistakenly thinks they have time before his father arrives home from work.
CHANGE
(this is the start of taking Dylan out of a selfish type of isolation.)
INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/DAY ORIGINAL
Steve returns earlier than expected coming home to find a big mess. Dylan is discovered washing Alfie in the bathtub. Steve tells Dylan they cannot keep the dog. Steve is annoyed as Elizabeth the teacher was to come over for supper, now the house is muddy and smells like a dog. Steve says Alfie can only stay for the night. Steve begs Dylan to speak and explain what is going on.
CHANGE
Steve shouts at Dylan telling his son that the stress of his silence is causing Steve grief and the dog is the last straw.
CHANGE
<font color=”#4d5c6d” face=”SF UI Text, sans-serif”>While Dylan is bathing Alfie there is a two-way telepathic conversation revealing that Alfie is a homeless dog, and underneath his big furry coat he is skin and bones, Dylan expresses affection and caring for Alfie, and raids most of the contents of the family fridge to give him a good feed, risking more of his Dad’s wrath.</font>
SECOND TURNING POINT ORIGINAL
INT: INDIAN RESTAURANT/EVENING
Elizabeth suggests that the answer to Steve’s problems and the impediment to their continued relationship is to send Dylan to a boarding school.
CHANGE
Steve dumps an angry Elizabeth
THIRD TURNING POINT
ORIGINAL NO CHANGE
INT.DYLAN’S BEDROOM/DAY
Alfie encourages Dylan to try to communicate with his Dad about his troubles with bullies and the mean Miss Perkins using pictures,
Steve runs out of the house in the morning as he is late for his bus route. He does not see the pictures. Dylan takes his pictures away believing that his Dad is not interested.
CHANGE NEW ADDITIONS
EXT.PARK/EARLY MORNING
Before school, Dylan and Alfie go to the park to play. They see the bully boys walking towards them. Dylan is apprehensive. All of the boys but one, want to come and meet Alfie. The alpha bully hangs back scared of Alfie.
CRISIS
INT.SCHOOL/MORNING
Dylan observes his friend Daisy. Elizabeth is locking her into the school cellar. Dylan runs away from the school finding his Dad on his bus driving route.
INT.STEVE”S BUS/DAY
Dylan boards the bus. He makes a fuss. Steve is frustrated as he cannot understand what is going on. Finally, Dylan says “Help Daisy, help Daisy.”
INT.SCHOOL/DAY
Dylan and Steve go to the cellar door, they can hear Daisy crying. Steve fetches the school principal. Steve informs the school principal that Elizabeth locked Daisy in the cellar. Elizabeth comes running, and with evil looks at Daisy intimidates Daisy into taking responsibility for locking herself in the cellar.
CHANGE
On the way home Steve expresses his anger. He feels Dylan has made a fool of him, and all because he will not speak. Steve doubts his ability to help Dylan.
CLIMAX
INT.DYLAN”S SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Steve has an interview at Dylan’s school, He agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home. Elizabeth continues to flirt with Steve. Steve is not entirely comfortable with Elisabeth’s moves
CHANGES
INT.DYLAN’S SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Steve has been summoned to an interview at Dylan’s school, Elizabeth says Dylan is in trouble again for fighting. This is a lie. Steve agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home.
EXT.VILLAGE STREET/DAY
On the way home, Steve takes the side of Elizabeth and says they should very seriously consider the boarding school as Dylan is creating trouble and Steve cannot figure out how to help him, he is feeling at his wit’s end. Dylan breaks away from his father and runs off. Steve cannot find Dylan.
CHANGE ADDITIONS
EXT.VILLAGE STREETS/EVENING
Dylan breaks away from his father and runs off. Steve cannot find Dylan.
INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve is pacing the floor, he calls the village police and tells them Dylan has run away.
Alfie finds the envelope with Dylan’s drawings and whines and barks until Steve looks at them.
Steve sees the pictures of abuse at the school and finally the penny drops. Steve looks at Alfie and asks him to find Dylan.
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/NIGHT
Alfie barks and steers Steve to the garbage skiff where Alfie and Dylan originally met. Steve lifts the lid on the skiff where he finds Dylan.
INT. AT THE COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve phones the school board, reports his concerns, and tells his son not to worry he is not going to the boarding school, he apologizes for not understanding or believing Dylan
RESOLUTION
INT.THE COTTAGE/MORNING
Steve calls the pound Dylan. No one has claimed Alfie. Steve says If Aflie makes Dylan happy and gets him to start talking, he can keep him until New Year. But only till New Year.
INT.DYLAN’S ROOM/MORNING.
Alfie spends more time with Dylan explaining how important it was for him to speak, he saved Daisy from the cellar. He also talks to him about loving his mother and making his mother happy by talking and enjoying his life. Dylan is still silent. He draws another picture of Alfie with a big heart around Dylan and Alfie, he gives it to his Dad.
CHANGE NEW BEAT
EXT. SCHOOL/DAY
It’s the day of the school Christmas concert. Dylan and Steve are walking from the parking area towards the school with many other parents. Dylan points to the alpha bully boy being smacked and pushed by the bully’s mother.
INT.VILLAGE BAKERY/AFTERNOON
Dylan, Steve, and Alfie go shopping in the village. Dylan points and waves at the bakery.
They go in and buy all sorts of Christmas goodies. Steve seems to really see Mickey baker for the first time. He likes her. Alfie gets more dog cookies. Mickey is just about to close the shop and suggest they all go to the seafront cafe for hot chocolate.
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET NEAR SEA FRONT/NIGHT
Dylan holds his Dad’s hand and points to the village’s huge Christmas tree, lights sparkling snowflakes falling. Dylan speaks “The tree Dad, it’s like Christmas magic..”
Steve says ” I guess Alfie is staying, our forever dog.”
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Michael Katz NQ 3 and 4
Day 10 Assignment: Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…many of the scenes originated out of logical plot brainstorming, and it is interesting how many of them instinctively contained emotional depth, so it is rewarding to be able to go back and label the scenes, and I think giving the scenes labels will help later on as a reminder when it is time to actually write the scene.
3. THE EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Emotional decision between two unacceptable choices directly connected to the Main Conflict, unacceptable because of the negative ramifications of choice not chosen.
MAIN CONFLICT
Powerful interests (Antagonists) keep throwing greater and greater obstacles at Victorino to keep him and his technology down, however, to solve that, Victorino tries to gain enough power to take over the world.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
As Victorino takes a Imelyna’s moral approach to building power, they fall in love, however the moral approach is only getting them him so far, so Victorino decides to try his more natural self-interested villainy approach to gaining power, but Imelyna doesn’t approve, and he loses her love and support.
Victorino has to choose between morality, failure, and having Imelyna…and self-interest, a chance at success, and losing Imelyna.
Choice A: Be moral in the pursuit of power and have a loving relationship with Imelyna…but fail to take over the world.
Choice B: Be self-interested in the pursuit of power and keep trying to take over the world…but then lose Imelyna.
Does Victorino choose morality, Imelyna, and failure…or does he choose self-interest, a chance at success, and losing Imelyna.
Victorino chooses self-interest and a chance at success, even though it means losing Imelyna.
For the Emotional Dilemma, ask these questions:
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
– Imelyna offers to help Victorino fight the righteous fight with her resources
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
– Victorino & Imelyna work selflessly for the good of people, while falling in love
– Victorino & Imelyna work selflessly for the good of the planet, while falling in love
– Victorino is self-interested and Imelyna corrects him
– Victorino is self-interested and Imelyna disapproves
– Victorino is self-interested and devious and Imelyna chastises
– Victorino is self-interested and devious and Imelyna opposes
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
– Crisis scene – Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
– Victorino is going to pursuing the goal on his own, without her
4. THE THEME
Deep emotional theme/message in every aspect of your story.
Present both sides of the theme, allowing the audience to experience whatever side they are on, then bring your point home in the resolution.
THEME: Greed destroys everything in its wake
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Greed preserves everything in its wake
Side 2: Greed destroys everything in its wake.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Side 1: Greed preserves everything in its wake
Antagonists throw obstacles at Victorino designed to destroy him so he stops innovating, destroy his technology to preserve the status quo, destroy his reputation so he stops having influence, stop his progress, to preserve the status quo, keep fossil fuels making money, maintain the current energy system
Protagonist is trying to restore his reputation, restore his technology, preserve the environment from getting worse
Side 2: Greed destroys everything in its wake.
Antagonist greed destroys his work, destroy his reputation, destroys the earth through global warming, destroys shipments, destroys factories, destroys faith in the system, destroys good people
Victorino’s greed destroys his morals, destroys his relationship with Imelyna, destroys rivals, destroys innocent people, destroys the earth
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Prez destroys his integrity as he reveals he’s behind the sabotage, Victorino not taking the President’s offer destroys compromise, Victorino destroys the earth
So Greed destroys everything in its wake.
PASS #4 — Adding Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
OUTLINE
OPENING SCENE — OPENING IMAGE (Action, interesting, visuals, tone)
EXT. SMALL TOWN PARK — DAY
10-year-old boy Victorino uses the thick lenses of his glasses as a magnifying lens to first pull a splinter from his cat’s paw, but then after being bullied, uses the magnifying lens to burn ants.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM OF PILOT PLANT — DAY
Potential investors watch a marketing video showing a computer simulation of Victorino’s revolutionary solar energy system, which uses a series of huge magnifying lens in space to beam massive amounts of energy into huge battery receptacles on earth. They want to buy the company from Victorino before the competition gets to see the live demonstration, but Victorino rejects their lowball offer, and is especially offended because they wouldn’t want him continuing on with the project.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE – START POINT
INT. MAIN INDUSTRIAL SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — LATER
Victorino meets VIP guests in attendance, including Imelyna, a movie star/environmental activist, who is covering the event for her social media. Victorino see someone (Evans) close to the battery receptacle and ushers him away.
MAIN CONFLICT FIRST SHOWS UP — OBSTACLE
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS
Victorino demonstrates a small-scale version of his revolutionary energy magnifier, but when he fires the energy beam into the receptacle, there’s a ricochet of energy that is clearly a mistake, because it glances off Victorino, severely burning him, as well as a few observers who duck out of the way, and pierces a large hole behind through the entire building. Victorino is shocked and shaken, and there is loud chaos in the room.
BY PAGE 10, WE KNOW WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT
INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS
Imelyna joins Victorino as he finds a tiny mirror inappropriately placed inside the battery receptacle. She wonders if it was sabotage as Victorino catches half a glimpse of Evans ducking out the back door. She sees his injury and calls the paramedics.
TURNING POINT – NEW SITUATION FOR VICTORINO – WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN – OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. HOSPITAL – LATER
Victornio is bandaged up and released. He goes to check on the other injured people, (maybe his badly injured partner if he has one dies), but the University President stops hm to tell him they are pulling the plug on the project. The police then arrive to arrest Victorino as Imelyna watches him be taken away.
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. POLICE STATION – LATER
Victorino defends himself against accusations. He accuses the company he rejected. The police look up the company on the internet, no such company exists. He is released, no charges pending further investigation.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
EXT. POLICE STATION – LATER
Imelyna offers to give Victorino a ride home in her limousine. After the sabotage, she worries for his safety.
INT. LIMO – MOMENTS LATER
Imelyna gives him a ride to his house. He falls asleep by the time they arrive as his poor shack, and she tells her driver to go back to the hotel.
DRAMATIC QUESTION START POINT
INT. HOTEL – THE NEXT MORNING
Imelyna begs him not to let the greedy entrenched interests stop his work, but worries that entrenched interests are like cornered, injured animals. Victorino says the only way to achieve their goal of installing his technology is to put these greedy corporations out of business once and for all, and all at once. And since they are backed by evil politicians , she jokes, “so you’re just going to become powerful enough to take over the world?”
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
INT. HOTEL BED – MOMENTS LATER
Victorino and Imelyna have sex.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA START POINT
INT. LIMO – LATER
Imelyna drops Victorino off at the plant. She invites him to relocate and continue his work under her financing. If he reconsiders, she’ll be leaving later that day.
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
END OF FIRST ACT TURNING POINT – change of plans, twist changes his life, sends him on a journey
INT. MAIN SPACE OF PILOT PLANT — CONTINUOUS
Victorino is stunned to find his space empty, and all his work is gone. Thugs with guns chase him from his laboratory. Victorino flees for his life and escapes, and calls Imelyna: What time’s your flight?
ACT IIa – PROGRESS
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
EXT. Imelyna’s Scandinavian Glacial Estate – DAY
Imelyna takes Victorino on a tour of her family’s land, shows him the effects of global warming, Imelyna says she has starter money, but he’s going to have to commercialize a small piece of the technology so they can finance their enterprise, he jokes “is this where we’re going to build our lair?”
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. Small Warehouse Laboratory – DAY
Victorino invents a solar panel with a magnifying glass layer – increases energy by 2000% – they plan to sell the device, “it’s incremental change, but it’s only the beginning, but first we’re gonna need a lot of sand”
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
EXT. Imelyna’s Maldives Estate – DAY
Victorino and Imelyna in bathing suits are lying back in lounge chairs under an umbrella on an empty beach, digging their toes in the fine white powder sand, sipping on a cocktail, “98% pure silica, you sure you want to plunder…this?” “this strip used to be a half mile wide, the beach is shrinking…rather the ocean is rising” “so then is this where we’re going to build our lair?” Sex.
Theme – greed creates
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. Huge Industrial Manufacturing Plant
Business plan, meet HR manager, hiring locals, meet attorney, setting up operations, manufacturing new solar panels, selling by the truckload, montage of expanding business, financial accounts growing, designing innovations, amassing a fortune, growing an empire. Doing good for the world, and creating good paying jobs. And having a good time falling in love doing it.
THEME – greed creates
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. MANSION – DAY
Imelyna guides the exponential growth of the company. She secures several huge accounts/projects. They are successful and in love.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
Attorney mentions 57 patent infringement lawsuits, none real, all designed to settle for a payout or to slow their progress, Victorino says to fight them all.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. AWARD CEREMONY – NIGHT
Gala thrown to award Victorino a prestigious technology innovation award
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
INT. BEDROOM – LATER
Watching the news Victorino was well-received, referring to the video “I like my hair, you know I tried the 3rd day without washing hair and it really does work”, he thinks Imelyna looked so pretty, but he wonders if he should have a makeover to better even out their disparity so they can be a power couple, she says she being dying to make him over but knows how sensitive he can be, she loves to shop, suggests he even contemplate running for political office in order to change the laws to stop the subsidies to fossil fuels, they are both excited from the gala and have sex
THEME – greed creates
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. MANSION – DAY
Victorino and Imelyna look at business bank accounts, and they are amassing wealth. He is a certifiable tycoon.
THEME – greed creates
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
Victorino and Imelyna shop for clothes , cars , jewelry, and mansions. One designer says he will make something custom for him. Victorino and Imelyna browse various art galleries, go to auctions, they buy absurd sculptures, paintings, artifacts
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
However, suddenly the government passes a red tape law, which Victorino calls his attorney to fight.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
INT. MANSION — DAY
Victorino and Imelyna meet Evans, who they don’t know is a spy, and Victorino is dismissive.
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION — DAY
Victorino learns that their computer system was hacked and some IP was stolen.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
INT. MANSION — DAY
Designer has sent over Victorino’s new outfit, but Victorino thinks it is interesting but doesn’t quite feel comfortable in it, and Imelyna hates it, says it makes him look like a crazy person. Victorino decides to change for the evening’s fuction.
THEME – greed creates
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
Victorino and Imelyna hold a nice charitable function, and they are happy together, but V expresses a feeling of impatience and distraction and it’s small scale helping, but Imelyna reminds him that they are raising awareness and doing good work. After announcing the sizeable fundraising total, Victorino steals the spotlight, and announces he is running for political office. Imelyna is unhappily stunned.
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
Movie star Imelyna is the subject of a dated/fake scandal , ending Victorino’s political aspirations. He wants to fight fire with fire, but she tells him they have to stay moral and be better than others.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
Victorino has a shipment of goods stalled in port. It’s the next innovation that will now be delayed.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino and Imelyna have various exotic animal handlers show them his pet options – sloth, snake, spider, fireflies.
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Imelyna gets blackballed for being unstable (Sharon Stone/Britney/Angelina), and Victorino wants to retaliate, but she wants them to remain on the high road.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
US passes new law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies
THEME – greed destroys
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Paranoid Victorino kills a spy, except that he was not a spy, just a local government regulator set to do a routine inspection
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
SECOND ACT MID-POINT
Victorino decides to turn to villainy to pursue vindication and world domination. If you can’t beat them, join them. It’s not just power he needs, but he needs to fight dirty. Entrenched interests are immoral, devious scoundrels. Frustrated by lack of progress caused by interference from greedy corporations and politicians.
ACT 2B – COMPLICATIONS & HIGHER STAKES
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino develops a masterplan to give himself finally the upper hand over the antagonists so he can achieve vindication for his revolutionary energy system and vengeance.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino holds a meeting among powerful international bad guys and explains his vision for the organization and world energy domination
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
Victorino and Imelyna have different realtors in different countries take them on tours of various locations to build secret compounds, but Imelyna knows it is necessary but she feels uncomfortable.
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino meets with HR to make decisions regarding recruiting lackeys, bodyguards, thugs, and minions, but Imelyna grows concerned with the type of people Victorino is hiring.
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino meets with various experts showing him cutting edge options for computer network, building security, and spy traps Victorino purposefully sends Imelyna on an errand so he can meet with the spy trap people.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
INT. MANSION – DAY
Victorino shows Imelyna the cover of a magazine/newspaper saying that the people who blackballed Imelyna have been arrested for child pornography and embezzlement. Imelyna expresses her concern to Victorino, who rationalizes that the ends justify the means. First crack in the Victorino/Imelyna relationship.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
Evans charms Imelyna.
Victorino hires PIs to expose the many devious ways in which governments bent the rules in their favor
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
Victorino creates a criminal enterprise to progress their agenda.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
Victorino learns one his factories burns to the ground.
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
Gadget guy demonstrates silly and over-the-top toys for Victorino
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino discovers that his henchman has been murdered after a struggle. And Imelyna has been gone an unusually long time.
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
INT. MANSION – DAY
When Imelyna returns she says she was out shopping and gives Victorino a new pair of glasses.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino is alerted that Evans has infiltrated the lair, and bombs destroy the lair. Evans escapes Victorino’s minions.
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
EXT. PARK – DAY
Victorino buys political influence
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino is baffled by how Evans seems prescient, always finding Victorino around the world at his next lair. He cancels a visit to the battery receptacle because it is too dangerous.
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino and Evans play cat and mouse again at the next lair, but Evans escapes in a flying car.
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Because Victorino is suspicious of Imelyna, he tells her that he has captured Evans and put him in the giant glass ant farm torture chamber. Victorino discovers that Imelyna has betrayed him as she goes to the ant farm to release Evans. Imelyna admits that she can’t control her feelings for Evans. But she still loves Victorino too.
THEME – greed destroys
DRAMATIC TRIANGLE
MAIN CONFLICT — OBSTACLE
INT. LAIR – DAY
Bombs interrupt Victorino’s the implementation of his masterplan plan. The explosions destroy the lair, and the compound is on fire. Evans confronts Victorino, and they have a heart-to-heart discussion. Each thinks the other is evil. Victorino warns him to stay away from Imelyna. They fight, gadgets too.
END OF SECOND ACT TURNING POINT
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino manages too temporarily evade Evans. With his masterplan and lairs in ruin, Victorino completes his metamorphosis into a megalomaniac, finally donning a proper outfit.
THEME
EMOTIONAL DILEMMA
CRISIS
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino tricks disloyal Imelyna into giving him the space station access password, and then he wounds her so he can escape from Evans into space.
INT. LAIR – DAY
Victorino blasts off in a rocket to his space station in outer space.
DRAMATIC QUESTION – GAINING POWER
INT. SPACESHIP – DAY
Victorino docks at his space station, goes to the bridge, deploys new space solar panels, aligns them to the computer, turns them on, everything is operational
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT BOILING POINT — Protagonist vs Antagonists showdown
DRAMATIC QUESTION END POINT – he does not have enough power to take over the world
CLIMAX
INT. SPACESHIP – DAY
Megalomaniac Victorino sits alone in his small space station, and gives POTUS an ultimatum: let him take over the world and install his energy system or he will destroy the planet. The full-scale demonstration of his revolutionary energy magnifier is sabotaged (again!), and the world’s governments try to assassinate him by firing nuclear missiles at him in space. Victorino neutralizes most of the missiles with a wide beam from his giant magnifying lens, but one missile explodes, damaging his space station and injuring him.
THEME – greed destroys
MAIN CONFLICT RESOLVED
RESOLUTION
INT. SPACESHIP – DAY
Victorino finally fights back and destroys the Antagonists
In a rage, Victorino turns the magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction and annihilates earth. Victorino: “I’m not the last man on earth. I’m god.” Victorino alternates between maniacal laughter and crying, then silence, then he blasts the man on the moon to smithereens.
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Alice’s Pass #4 — NQ 3 and 4
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is I seen a lot about pattern of scenario, and I made myself to write what it is, though I don’t press on it, as I want to keep the flow. I discovered during the process what I might overlook. I will keep it the way I’ve written,
But it’s obvious that my Protagonists dilemma is he could run away, not stay there
And for Judge to pledge his sister guity the way he wants it, though it might bring him consequences
Le-na’s dilemma is, she wants be liberated, so she needs to conceal she killed to get away, so she cannot be a member of this society
Son of Main Commander dilema is, he had either turn Lena back immediately, or return with her, if he loves her, and not to keep her, using his rang
And for the Ward the way I’ve written it.
Escape story theme is Liberation
And Part 1 THEME is Population of Miropolis as they are given Separation, and before division into zones
But, I kept it the first variant below. I didn’t add much, but it is like a string to keep along, and would help with writing it. Like hero’s intentions.
Part 1
1. Tell us your concept.
In time of Separation, an artificial death protecting Advanced West society of Planet MIROPOLIS, workers of Research Institute get massacred, to create “new weapon”, interests clash, judge sentences wrongdoer at scandalous process, Separates, his subtle image reflected on video, his advice to filter people and expel outcastes is taken into practice…
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
Protagonist #1: Would he find out, who’ve done it from those he works with?
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
When Kiat gets missed
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
He continues be a worker of Research Institute, but parallel tries to investigate it
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
His life gets broken, he makes it from upstart, till the end, when he uncovers it
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
He could run away, as he had no illusion, knowing it’s happening on RI ground, or stay risking
Judge: If it is up to him, how would he exchange the world, though with consequences
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
He manifests it at his speach
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
He doesn’t like his sister, and now he is to lead a process, with idea he would justify her
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
He has intention of finding Antagonist guilty, how it manifests in his interrogation, and when he proclaims it
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
If he chooses to justify her he would be blamed by people, also that won’t be him, if he finds Antagonist guilty, he might face those ho want to cover for her
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
Techno techno society, nano-particles, division into castes, and self development.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: SEPARATION protects advanced techno society of West of MIROPOLIS
Side 2: Evolution presupposes we are Human, with same social disadvantages
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Protagonist belongs to better side of West population, but gets into situation he cannot exchange things on a better side, but involuntary sacrificing
Separation is introduced at Opening Scene
Scientist who witnesses victims tied up Separates
Human side is shown with Judges family, like his son’s reactions, man who’s fishing at the roof top basin
In Protagonists interaction with his friend and reaction on him been gone
With his interaction with Secret Service Officer
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
One Hero gets destroyed, another Separates
OPENING SCENE:
Representation (Visuals) of how SEPARATION (an artificial nano death, insinuated by signal from human brain of the bearer, whereas face and chest are separated symmetrically by vertical line), works. Inside perspective. Life stream as if moves on another rails. “What new qualities did you acquire?” “I can move walls apart!”
EXT. TOP OF RESIDENTIAL – DAY
There is a basin on the roof, and man is fishing.
EXT. ON A PLANE
On a flight back home from resort area. At the North of Planet MIROPOLIS. Plane is to cross a length of seawater from resort area on another Archipelago back to the West Shore.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Phone rings, as he returns. That is Director of Research institute with assignment for him to be prepared by Monday.
INCITING INCIDENT:
One of the files appears to be dark, he cannot open it.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
He picks taxi up.
EXT. BEFORE GATES OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
He jumps out of taxi, running inside.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
He quickly exchanges with night guard about reasons him coming at night.
INT. OFFICE – NIGHT
He opens file on computer. Printer doesn’t work, lacking paper.
INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
As he rummages at closet, he is encountered by security guard. They exchange, guard continues along the corridor.
INT. OFFICE – NIGHT
As he keeps working, radiophone beeps. “I love you” This is Kiat.
INT. SOMEONE’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Alarm works. Man jumps from bed.
INT. OFFICE – MORNING
As Protagonist looks into window, he can see this man, one of lab workers, coming. Kiat is still not there.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – MORNING
Amid couple of others, Hero walks now noisy corridor of Research Institute, holding his documents. Woman of rather small height passes him, walking at another direction. He turns after her, looking at her back. “Is it Anaupsh?”
FIRST TURNING POINT:
His girlfriend is missing amid personnel “Where is Kiat?” Other lab workers shed look on him, as if he’s been cheated, or dropped by
INT. BACK ROOM – MORNING
Kiat is murdered by someone looking like Anaupsh and one or two more people.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Hero calls Kiat. She doesn’t pick it up, and leaves a message.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – NIGHT
He looks at the watch, – she didn’t call back.
INT. LANDING BEFORE KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Kiat’s neighbor says, Kiat doesn’t live here anymore, was absent for two days (as they been on weekend)
INT. LANDING BEFORE KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Kiat’s neighbor confirms, Kiat moved away. He doesn’t believe her.
INT. KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Police helps with the door. Money, clothes, and documents appear intact. Police officer implies, maybe she flied across the boundary.
INT. AUDITORY – DAY
Protagonist before the crowd of workers of Research Institute. As he talks of Kiat went missing without anyone giving much attention, he is considered by crowd, as unsuccessful lover. One man says, he had seen Kiat that day. And that couple of people took a leave.
INT. RESIDENTIAL – DAY
Protagonist comes by the address of one of those who took leave. His neighbors says, he left not saying goodbye.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Disturbed man comes, searching for his missing wife, who worked at RI. Protagonist warns him not to come back in here, as his wife is possibly killed.
INT. SOCIAL SERVICES – EVENING
Protagonist is waiting to see an officer, but changes his mind, and walks away.
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Hero calls to secret police man of his acquaintance, but drops the phone.
INT. DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Director is some kind of a friend to Protagonist, and tries to give him sick leave when he says, one of the missing was his girlfriend. As protagonist tries to prove it is necessary to search the labs, Anaupsh enters. She is the head of development lab of DNA research. After her comes her assistant, tall freak, not young anymore. Hero remarks on strong body of Anaupsh and metallic plate, stuck at her sandal. Director lets him go. As he leaves, he observes them for a while, talking at the office.
EXT. BEFORE DIRECTOR’S – DAY
He walks out of the building, and strolls away.
INT. DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Director is murdered. Blood on the table. Anaupsh opens his cabinet with electronic key. Unlocks computer and washes out files from the list with info on exp from her lab. Her assistant rolls Director’s body in blue plastic.
INT. AUDITORY – DAY
Protagonist before crowd of RI’s workers. A couple more of people left, Head of one lab, and also Director is on leave.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Hero calls at Director’s. His wife says, he called her to say he drops on her, and asks for his stuff to be sent over the ocean.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
His son wants to go fishing on the roof. But glances at the face of his old father and small daughter, and remains.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – EVENING
They peacefully making a tea.
INT. LIBRARY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – DAY
Protagonist accidentally runs on Anaupsh. He notices there is nor metallic plate stuck in her sandal any longer.
INT. RI’S CORRIDOR OF HERO’S DREAM – NIGHT
He’s having nightmare. Woman screams “He died from horror!”
INT. HERO’S BEDROOM – MORNING
He awakes from his nightmare.
INT. SOMEONE’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Alarm didn’t work. Man jumps from bed on his own, when it is too late.
EXT. BEFORE THE GATES OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – MORNING
Protagonist meets with that man before gates. They exchange. Man works in the lab at the same area, where people get disappearing.
INT. BACK ROOM – DAY
This man is tied up, his moth stuck. One scientist enters, and sees the picture. Assistant shoots him from the back, but he already separated. Now they cannot use his body.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Protagonist is having conversation with his friend, head of another lab, who complains, he has no one to report.
EXT. TRAIN STATION – EVENING
His friend is waiting for the train. Some figure is as if in the mist, over the distance.
INT. TRAIN – EVENING
Relieved, he boards the train, and takes his seat on the bench.
INT. POLICE OFFICE – EVENING
Protagonist persuades police officer about missing cases. Officer manifests with negativity, as Hero is clearly a developed caste, and sends him packing.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RI – EVENING
Protagonist picks up at the note, dropped on the floor. It is left by his friend about report. He jums paper in his fist, seeing his friend is gone!
INT. HERO’S APPARTMENT – NIGHT
He awakes because someone is behind the door to his room.
MIDPOINT
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Hero calls his acquaintance at secret service, demanding they would say if missing cases were their job.
INT. HERO’S JOURNALIST BROTHER APPARTMENT – NIGHT
Protagonist visits his brother. He’s journalist, and keeps writing, even as they speak.
EXT. POLICE CAR – NIGHT
Police watches him over distance, listening to conversation with antenna.
INT. HERO’S JOURNALIST BROTHER APPARTMENT
Protagonist relates to his brother about missing cases.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
TV news. “In one of huge institutions people get disappear in one of the area of the lab works” Judge remarks that’s where his sister works.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Hero watches the news.
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Journalist calls his brother to learn of impression. Hero is dissatisfied, saying, his report was misleading at broadcast.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
Anaupsh answers the phone.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Judge drops it down, hearing her voice.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
Anaupsh remarks that been her brother checking on her after watching the news, and she is OK. Sexy girl an assistant persuades how some people really disappeared. Anaupsh observes this girl’s sexy body.
INT. VIEW OF CLOSET FROM INSIDE – DAY
This sexy girl is rummaging at the closet, as someone closes her mouth, and picks her up from behind. That is her boyfriend who places a date with her.
INT. CAFE – NIGHT
Girl is waiting for him, but he doesn’t turn out.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
She leaves cafe and starts strolling along the street. Car stops, Anaupsh opens the door. Girl looks inside and sees her boyfriend, dead. She starts losing herself. Gets inside, and strokes his hair, then vomits.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
They pass by night guard, posing her boyfriend as drunk.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – NIGHT
Anaupsh proposes to restore him by the help of her work she conducted experiment for. She opens door to back room for her. Girl sees there construction from parts of human bodies and drops on the floor.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Control group, in amount of one aged man and young lady sent by organization comes to check at what is happening at Research Institute.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
As Anaupsh tries to make her way through the talk, they ask her of the area, as they can see on a map. Then assistant hits man from behind unconscious. But girl puts a gun on them. At this moment secret door opens from inside, by Anaupsh’ another girl assistant. Girl turns away at its direction, and male assistant blows her gun away.
INT. BACK ROOM – DAY
They both are beaten up, unconscious.
INT. SOME LAB – DAY
Protagonist on his way around to check labs meets opposition from aged scientist.
INT. DYNAMICS LAB – EVENING
Two guys in this lab tell Hero, how they protect with guns. They assured him they are waiting for those who do this to come, and don’t lock the doors.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RI – MORNING
Protagonist passes by Dynamics Lab, its door seems closed. He tries it, and it opens, room same as it was, no men.
SECOND TURNING POINT:
Protagonist gets contacted by secret service officer. He affirms they also lost a number of people on Institute’s ground, and that he was afraid to pass inside.
INT. SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
That officer who spoke with scientist reports to top officer, as that one receives a call with indications from above. Not to do much. Top officer remarks that might be correct approach. Let everyone be gone, apart from one left, who’ve done it.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – EVENING
Strolling along, Protagonist looks into open lab and sees there girl assistant of Anaupsh rummaging through documents. She says she had to sort that out.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
Walking past Anaupsh’s lab, Protagonist can hear noise behind the wall, something knocks. He is surprised.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
Night guard confirms everyone from that lab are gone for the night.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – MORNING
Hero waits for Anaupsh to come, to check her lab. She lets him in, saying it’s development nocking.
CRISIS:
She opens back room for him, and he can see huge animated construction, composed from human bodies, managed by DNA exchange. He recognizes it here and there. Passes out.
EXT. BACK STREET – EVENING
Officer who came to RI calls his top officer, saying, scientist does not answer his calls. He drops the phone and turns to go away, but is shot from behind a corner out of vehicle.
INT. SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
Top officer gets notified, his employee went arrested for interest in this case. He is stunned. Upon consideration, exits office via back door.
EXT. OUTSIDE OF SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
Top officer gets out, considers cars nearby, walks down, and is shot from behind.
CLIMAX:
Anaupsh presents her work at symposium. Two scientists at presidium get alarmed, but Anaupsh smartly lets her creation into outside world, to float at the sky. They sound alarm then.
EXT. CITY SCAPE – EVENING
Judge’s son again strolls along the roof with fishing line and barrel. View of monsters in the sky makes him lose his step and he falls from the edge of the roof. He succeeds at holding at some architectural pieces down there, as monster comes rather closer to his view. Aircraft dispatch comes on helicopters, and spreads point-direct atomic weapon at the creature. Keeping his hold, he starts sneezing, and endeavors turn away or shield somehow.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
His son supports him, says to hold on.
INT. COURT – DAY
As Judge heads ahead to preside, he is blamed into back. Everyone knows that is his sister in the process, who he is going now justify.
RESOLUTION:
Anaupsh and her assistants are facing the court. Judge keeps asking questions in such a way that he uncovers her rotten nature. He then says, he’s unsure of what punishment, and that how, maybe, even if his kids, but separate somehow away into zones people of such kind so that they won’t be able to do crimes of such scape. Anaupsh observes him, and suddenly says “Don’t Separate!” He looks back at her, and as if from opposition, separates. His face moves apart, leaving narrow space, vertical, and smooth, leading into depth of the head, as other parts also have moved. As he continues to sit at same pose, common with Separation, across the room passes gush of astonishment. His subtle body, recognizable, consciously moves along the middle, to exit the court.
EXT. SITY STREET – DAY
Journalist brother of late scientist watches street screens, streaming the process. He immediately recognizes, what it is going to be.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – EVENING
His son gets interviewed.
INT. EDITORIAL OFFICE – NIGHT
Late Protagonist’s journalist brother gets criticized by his editor. What would people think of Separation after reading “Man after Separating, walked along the ail?”
RESOLUTION:
People with strict faces are at building construction, meant for outcastes.
“First Social Services were doing it, then when jails went full, they got that wasn’t enough, and called in military…”
Part 2
1. Tell us your concept.
Concept:
…after reservations for outcastes are created, trained WARDS are to bring qualified back to society,
Born in reservation, LENA witnesses her Ward’s death, runaways, gets escorted by high rang military, becomes his lover, as anyone around undergo danger of being marked as “outcastes”.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
Ward: Either he have sex with Le-na, or he writes report to liberate her.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
As he interacts with Lena
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
In his behavior with her, both getting intimate as he keeps her in his apartment, but superficially, implying, he is doing report after what she would get outside
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
As he opens the doors
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Love in one instance, maybe life of both of them at another
Le-na: She cannot live not only amid people in reservation, but amid those outside as well.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
She relates how she repulsed other tenants by pretending just never taking a bath
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
She keeps away, avoiding mostly interactions
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
She runs away, and keeps it going
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
She chooses to stay with her new partner
Son of Main Commander: In between of dying as a ward or keeping it safe at his position.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
With his interactions with Lena, as they have dramatic relationships
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
Because of intensity of surrounding
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
He cannot make that choice, and Separates
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
He loses his life if he goes as a ward, would be instantly killed, and he just cannot be himself, doing nothing, so he Separates
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
Meaning: even at TECHNO world we continue to be human, techno is built to suite human needs.
Lesson: How civilization transits with free flow of information, resources availability, and sheds old clothes of former social structure.
Moral: What it means to be human. Struggle of self developed ones in social structure.
LIBERATION
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Individuals and society could be liberated
Side 2: Individuals and society are under pressure
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
In a crowd reaction in a Hotel #2.
In a complexity of staying human under new rules when they filter population
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
In reality, Son of Main Commander had turn Lena back into zone immediately as he meets her, as she just murdered a couple of people, but he would naturally not to do it with qualified person
And as he loves her, he would have to go TOGETHER with her back into zone, but that would result in their deaths
Their friends keeps frank, and he just liberates a couple, by shooting in reservation, and gets sentenced, but they, as they are his friends, just make it for him to come back to zone instead, forever.
OPENING SCENE: Destruction of Black Archipelago by atomic weapon.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ward choses residence to be dispatched to.
INT. RESIDENTIAL ZONE – DAY
Ward unlocks his new apartment, belonged prior to his predecessor.
INT. WARD’S APARTMENT – DAY
Le-na visits him. She never takes a bath, to repel other residents.
FIRST TURNING POINT: He hides Le-na in his apartment behind locked doors. They start to be intimate. They take shower together, but he only does superficial sex.
MIDPOINT: His window is bulletproof, but door has space underneath. After knocking at his locked door didn’t help, residents put smoke via this opening. Ward then streams water outside.
SECOND TURNING POINT: Helicopter brings boxes with goodies. Ward unlocks the door. Le-na’s bitch mother comes asking for her. Ward replies, he put a report, and Le-na is to be evacuated back to outside world. Freaking aged guy jumps inside, asking to be taken back also, offering money. Ward refuses. Freak shoots him down to death.
Le-na’s family members run in, starting robbing apartment, goodies box first. “Why did you wash yourself?” screams bitch mother. She checks her, and sees, she is still virginal. Then she rapes her, pushing small bottle inside. Le-na passes out.
CRISIS: Le-na awakes. Room is robbed of everything. She sees Ward in the spirit, as subtle image in the room. Then they communicate. He says, Le-na must prepare to kill her mother, as she comes back. She looks around, and sees nothing like a weapon. He keeps going “see this barrel? There is an acid in it, if to poor it upon a person, he would die!” Le-na picks up large barrel, right when her mother’s steps are heard. As that one enters, she splashes acid on her.
Ward directs her to pick up report and go upstairs.
INT. ATTIC – DAY
Vast room with glass ceiling along the walls has special mail boxes, one for each apartment. Le-na puts report into mail box, and pulls at lever. Via glass walls one can see how report swiftly goes upward, beyond the roof.
Girl new comer descends stairs. She demonstrative lay approaches Le-na. Takes gun out. They fight. Le-na uses martial skills she picked up from Ward. She blows gun away, picks it up and shoots girl down.
Ward directs her to run on the roof, where there must be a helicopter that brought new comer.
CLIMAX: Le-na runs up to the pilot and deceives him, saying she was brought down to restricted zone by mistake. She promises him her parents would pay him!
RESOLUTION: EXT. HELICOPTER CABIN – EVENING
They take into air. Pilot asks for her address. “Quiet Street, Small House!” Le-na says. Pilot gets he was deceived. “Point gun at him!” says Ward’s voice. Le-na puts gun on him. His radio works, and Le-na screams for pilot. Man on that end of the line hears female voice.
INCITING INCIDENT: INT. TECHNO STATION – EVENING
Le-na is picked up by high rang military. She recognizes him being special, and tries to pull shirt away from his back, to see if there isn’t body mark as well.
FIRST TURNING POINT: INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
They become intimate.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Servant rolls in table with refreshment and some wine bottles, as he gets astonished, seeing Le-na standing totally naked amid the room.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Two officers come to expose her lover. They have a moment and exchange names. He says, he’s a Son of Main Commander, which is his rang.
MIDPOINT: INT. HOTEL’S LOBBY – NIGHT
Son of Main Commander descends with Le-na into lobby. He directs her to wait him at the glass doors. And tries to place a phone call, but line is dead. “You will pay me for that! “ he says to hotel’s owner. And receives a blow.
INT. HOSPITAL COMPARTMENT – NIGHT
Son of Main Commander awakes, Le-na sits near. “How did you do that?” She says she used street phone and asked for the Father the Main Commander.
Nurse enters, behaving suspiciously. Then Le-na picks up small bottle, and says “In this bottle there is an acid. I will pour it over you, and you will die!” Nurse looks at the bottle and starts laughing.
He calls for regiment, then they lock inside the room.
They hear noise outside at the corridor, that being small military dispatch. He likes the voice of some young officer, and they unlock for them. Commanding officer of dispatch freaks out and get tied up by his own soldiers. Then young officer takes on himself commandment. He reports, they are surrounded by enemies. Son of Main Commander recognizes him as careerist. Enemies being regiment he called for.
EXT. AT HELICOPTERS – MORNING
As they are on the go to helicopter, saved by regiment, he arguments with regiment commander.
SECOND TURNING POINT: INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT.
As they are staying at the hotel, now a couple, he sits on bed in clothes. Le-na reacts and after pulling his socks away, washing her hands, picks up bottle and pushes inside sex organs. He catches at her and hits. “Why have you done it?” She explains, she no longer has blood (she’ s lucking, and he is indifferent). He laughs with joy, explaining that is a pregnancy.
Their activity is overlooked by man in bright lit window across the street. He threatens them, gesturing, and dresses up to go out.
CRISIS: INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR – NIGHT
It appears, Hotel was stuffed with video cameras to observe tenants, by agreement of that man across the street and Hotel owner. Military came, and all tenants get out of their rooms. As Son of Main Commander arguments matter with Commanding Officer, that one freaks out and gets tied up by his own soldiers. Soldiers get lost, but one of them, still young, and with shrieking voice, starts giving commands.
CULMINATION:
One of cameras made video of something white in dark lobby. Hotel owner suddenly gets ill and is escorted to his room by two soldiers. Others search the rooms, and uncover body of ten years old daughter of Hotel owner. Tenant of that room dies right there, poisoning oneself till foam out of the mouth, and slides down the wall. After they turn away two technicians coming to pick up someone qualified as outcastes, real psychologist comes. He turns to be an aged man, experienced and talkative. He exchanges addresses with boy with shrieking voice, promises to distressed woman degree in psychology and new job.
RESOLUTION: INT. HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Le-na again looks into window. There is wife of that man, now arrested, who shoots woman at hotel room near theirs.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Yet another hotel. They lie in bed as outside are sirens at the distance. He embraces her, tense. But cars run by.
RESOLUTION to PART 2, Wrapping Up: INT. FIGHTING ROOM – DAY
Boy with shrieking voice went into grown up man, taking martial arts training.
INT. RESTRICTED ZONE – DAY
He endeavors to save a couple out of zone. As woman screams, closing her ears, hold by her man, he shoots back at a couple of people, shooting at him.
INT. TRIBUNAL – DAY
He gets sentenced. He doesn’t take it for real, but as a bad joke, as he really killed people. They then consent on him returning back to zone, now forever.
EXT. ROAD AND GRASS – DAY
Bus doors gets closed, and it leaves on its way.
INT. PRIVATE RESIDENTIAL – DAY
Le-na moves around the house, bearing sight of household, having kids, here and there, where they dropped clothes or toys, running for bus.
INT. GUESTROOM – DAY
Son of Main Commander sits as if thinking something over. Phone rings, but he doesn’t pick it up. Le-na awakes him from his thoughts. No, he not at all is going to go as a ward, this means imminent death. She worries, and starts to pull chain with pendant from her neck, as if to put on him as amulet, but he stops her.
He gets up, dons his military headwear and goes out. Le-na answers the phone. No, he is gone. She says.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE – DAY
He goes a distance away, then stops. Wind blows into his face. He Separates. Narrow opening with even edges separates front of his face in the middle. His facial expression doesn’t change. He keeps standing same pose.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
As sentenced ward, here incognito, discusses with psychologist his couple he brought out, who are passing exam now, and Le-na, who is here, crashed and lost her sanity.
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Variant 3
Son of Main Commander Dilema:
A. When he Separates (so it’s going backwards) at that moment, we understand there was drama we didn’t notice
B. It diminishes toward upstart of the story, when all we think is for Lena’s escape, so we buy audience with it
C. He never makes it
D. Love or Life
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Subject: Antonio Flores’ Pass #4 NQ 3 and 4
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…
I think I better understand what the dilemma and theme are al about.
Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
1. Tell us your concept.
A cheerleader fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé, a fighter abducted and poisoned by criminals to steal a secret that he keeps – now she must win the antidote in a deadly cage tournament.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
To rescue her fiancé, Parisa must choose to either:
• Courage: Do what frightens her and fight opponents who can easily kill her in the cage, or
• Fear: Accept that even by winning the tournament, their escape is pretty much unlikely and accept to die in the hands of criminals.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
Parisa gets introduced to the underground MMA ringmasters, gets in the cage for an “audition.” She gets badly beaten (FEAR), but they still sign her in. Then, she wonders how long will it take for her to develop fighting skills. (COURAGE)
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
· Courage: Chinese Shuaijiao and Brazilian Capoeira masters use Parisa’s cheerleader foundation to develop her fighting skills through dancing.
· Fear: As Parisa searches the underground MMA facility, she bumps into RUTHLESS, a brawny female fighter, who warns her not to ever mess around with her… but that day comes at the start of the tournament.
· Courage: The night before fighting Ruthless in the tournament, Philip tries to rape her, so she fights back and breaks his knee.
· Fear: The game rules change on the spot. The Ruler orders Parisa to kill her opponent.
· Courage: Parisa, her fiancé and Philip plan to steal a cellphone from a guard and send a message out. The plan works, but when her fiancé hides the phone, she snatches it and throws it to Philip. The guard notices his cellphone is gone, points his gun at the fiancé, but then, he catches Philip texting and shoots him three times. Nobody knows if the message went out.
· Fear: As Philip is dead and Bahadur is too weak to fight, Parisa must fight the “Ruler’s Favorite” to win the poison’s antidote.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
When she decides to go in a David-Goliath match and fight the “Ruler’s Favorite”, a massive fighter far much stronger than her in the tournament’s final.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
She wins the fight, gets the poison’s antidote, but gets badly hurt and dies.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
To escape you must stop running
A. What are both sides of your theme?
To escape you must build your strengths so you can do what frightens you
To escape you must avoid trouble, or else, trouble will get you
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
· Avoid trouble: From the start, Parisa just wants to help her fiancé break free and run.
· Avoid trouble: At the start, Parisa considers dancing a waste of time. Taking dance lessons brings her a sense of avoidance and guilt.
· Avoid trouble: Later, she understands how dancing helps developing fighting skills, so she can save some pain, endure the nightly beating in the cage, and search for her fiancé in the facility.
· To escape: once in the desert, she builds up her technique under the expert coaching of her fiancé and Philip.
· To avoid: Philip often flirts and tries to seduce Parisa. She avoids him, but that does not solve the problem.
· To escape: when Philip finally tries to rape Parisa, she fights back and breaks his knee. She then finds out that Philip had reduced her fiancé’s medicine to get rid of him and get her.
· To escape: in the tournament first match, Parisa fights Ruthless, gets the upper hand, and ends up accidentally killing her.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
To win the antidote, Parisa fearlessly fights the “Ruler’s Favorite” in the tournament’s final match. She defeats the opponent.
4. Fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process. List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
1. Opening
INT. GYM — NIGHT
PARISA, a lonely woman, gets up on a treadmill. Pictures on the wall show memories of her career as cheerleader and coach.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s fiancé, BAHADUR faces SHAHNAZ, a massive, muscle-packed fighter. Bahadur is in a daze. There is a cut in his arm. On the opponent’s corner, A MAN IN A TUNIC holds up a knife and grins. Poison.
2. Inciting Incident
INT. GYM — NIGHT
A TEXT PREVIEW displays on Parisa’a cellphone screen. Parisa’s uncle, MMA manager, SYLVAIN says: “I’M SORRY. HE’S GONE. THEY TOOK HIM”. Parisa wipes her tears and texts back: ‘HELP ME. I MUST FIND HIM.”
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s uncle, MMA manager, Sylvain introduces her to the underground MMA ringmasters. Parisa gets in the cage for an “audition.” She gets badly beaten, but the ringmasters want her great looks on the show. They sign her in.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
[REVISED] INT. SYLVAIN’S CAR — DAY
Parisa wonders how long it will take for her to develop MMA fighter skills. Sylvain persuades her to try dance.
[REVISED] INT. COLLAGE: DANCE LESSONS — DAY
Parisa refuses at first, but after her uncle’s insistence she enrolls. She shows how charming she is in salsa, tango and samba. Yet, dance lessons leave her with a sense of avoidance and guilt.
[REVISED] INT. COLLAGE: MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS — DAY
Parisa discovers that the dance coaches are masters of Chinese Shuaijiao (wrestling) and Brazilian Capoeira. The masters build up martial arts strengths from her cheerleader attributes: agility, coordination, sense of space-time, fast-twitch explosive muscles, and more.
[REVISED] INT. COLLAGE: UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s performance improve from being punched, spitting the mouthpiece, and tapping the opponent… to kicking the opponent’s butt, getting her arm raised by the referee, winning by decision.
5. Mid-Point
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — NIGHT
As Parisa searches for her fiancé, she bumps into RUTHLESS, a brawny female fighter, who warns her not to ever mess around with her.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — NIGHT
Meanwhile, PHILIP, Bahadur’s alleged runaway partner, finally gets Bahadur out of captivity.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — NEARBY STREET
Parisa follows them. They get ambushed and imprisoned.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
INT. CARGO CONTAINER — NIGHT
They get transported to somewhere in the middle of the desert. Bahadur fills Parisa with all details about his abduction, the poison, Philip, and that breaking up was a way to protect her.
EXT. DESSERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
Parisa, Bahadur, and Philip meet THE RULER, leader of the criminal organization that uses the underground MMA fights as a screen. To win the poison’s antidote, they must win the final match.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Parisa trains under the guidance of Bahadur and Philip. Philip wants to seduce Parisa. She rejects him.
7. Crisis
[REVISED] EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT
Philip figures out that by reducing Bahadur’s medicine dose, he can kill him and get Parisa.
[REVISED] EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT
Philip lures Parisa to do a prep workout with him alone. He tries to rape her, but she fights back and breaks his knee.
[REVISED] EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Parisa fights Ruthless in the first match of the tournament and gets the upper hand. The rules change on the spot: Parisa must kill her opponent — a gun is pointed at her fiancé. Badahur snatches the gun and fires at Ruthless, but the gun was empty. They were played on. Still, Parisa accidentally kills Ruthless.
[REVISED] EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Bahadur realizes that the tournament is part of a plan to curb their spirit. The three plan to steal a cellphone from a guard and send a message out.
[REVISED] EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
The plan works. Parisa prevents her fiancé to keep the device and throws it to Philip. The guard notices his cellphone is gone, points his gun at the fiancé, but then, he catches Philip texting and shoots him dead.
8. Climax
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Bahadur is too weak to fight. Parisa enters the octagon with the “Ruler’s Favorite,” Shahnaz. She wins the antidote, but gets badly hurt. It’s the end for her.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
A DRONE SQUAD and soldiers arrive. Philip’s message went through! The Ruler is busted. Badahur urges paramedics to help the lifeless woman in his arms.
9. Resolution
INT. GYM — DAY
Badahur quietly rolls a wheelchair into the gym where Parisa’s old cheerleaders team rehearse. Still bruised, but recovering, Parisa shares her discovery with her former students.
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ASSIGNMENT
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Arthur’s NQ 3 and 4
“What I’ve learned doing this assignment:
Weaving the emotional dilemma and the theme into the outline help dimensional the characters in the film.Apply Necessary Questions 3 and 4 to your outline.
1. Tell us your concept.
When a coronal mass ejection (CME) from the sun destroys all electronic technology on earth six astronauts and one reporter on the international research spacecraft Reliant must adapt the experimental Tesla Shield technology that saved their spacecraft to shield humanity from a larger earth-destroying CME just days away.
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
The international pool reporter , Skyler asks Capt. Reilly if she was really the right choice for this mission given the fact she was the Captain, pilot, and the only survivor of an aborted launch and crash of a shuttle just three years ago at the end of the live broadcast.B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
Capt. Reilly’s drive is to explore space with out loss of life. However, this mission has life and death risks that are exponentially increased with the threat of the Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun.C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
When NASA orders the crew to abandon the Reliant and head home, the crew votes to stay and use the untested Tesla shield to save the ship and their mission.D. What do they lose in making that choice?
The ability to ensure her crew survives the Coronal Mass Ejection by using the shuttle to return to earth.3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
Humanity as a group is larger than the sum of its parts.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Each crew member has their own vested interest in their specialty in the mission.
Side 2: The threat of an external destructive force causes the crew to put aside their personal and professional differences to save each other and the earth.B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
In the opening live broadcast, Skyler reveals the specialties of each crew member. Each crew member explaining how their expertise is the most crucial aspect of the missions success.C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Each crew member has had to blend their special skill sets to combine with each other to adapt the Tesla Shield to save the world from the Coronal Mass Ejection.4. In the current version of your outline, fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process. List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
1. Opening
Pool reporter Skyler Hardwick’s live broadcast introduces the crew of the International Deep Space Research Spacecraft Reliant and their mission to test a new Tesla Space Shield for interstellar travel. The broadcast is interrupted by an emergency transmission from NASA.EXT SPACE
Looking at earth with the moon in the background as a massive spaceship with two counter rotating rings at its center ENTERS from the left side of frame. The name Reliant is prominent on its bow.INT RELIANT
International pool reporter, Skyler Hardwick takes us through the spacecraft, introducing the live audience to the Relaint’s crew. From the rear of the ship moving froward we meet the following personnel as each gives her a brief on the job on the mission:
Oleg Ryakin – Russian male Mechanical engineer, PhD – designer of the antimatter containment field that powers the ship.
Nico Lee – Chinese female anti-matter propulsion physicist, Phd.
Tara Cooper – black French female scalar wave and Quantum physicist, Phd.
Diego Quinn – male Hispanic life science specialist. MD. PhD.
Chase Douglas – US black male 1st Officer and celestial navigation specialist. PhD
Reilly Ryan – US white female Captain and nuclear physicist, PhD.INT RELIANT – BRIDGE
The interview concludes with Capt. Reilly explaining to Skyler that this mission is to test the new Tesla Shield that is necessary to protect the space craft from objects it cannot maneuver to avoid as it travels near the speed of light. Reilly blind-sides her by asking if she feels she is the right person to lead this mission having been the Captain and only survivor of a five man crew in an aborted take off less than four years ago. At this moment an emergency klaxon goes off. Skyler concludes the broadcast as Chase calls for the captain to join him in the Command Module.
2. Inciting Incident
NASA informs the Reliant a Coronal Mass Ejection that was thought to be bypassing earth, masked a larger one behind it that will hit the earth and the Reliant in minutes. With no time to use the shuttle to return to earth before the CME hits, Captain Reilly and the crew determine that using the untested Tesla Shield is their only hope of surviving. A scramble begins to initiate the shield before the CMJ arrives.INT COMMAND MODULE
A circular module with a six-foot diameter table at its center. Chase is sitting at one of the six chairs surrounding the table, each with its own work station. As the rest of the crew enters Chase displays a 3d projection above the table. The NASA Flight Director, Jack Stone, appears on the screen and informs the crew a Coronal Mass ejection from the sun that is to pass by the earth in moments masked a larger CME that is going to hit earth with devastating effect in less than six hours. He projects a 3D model of the CME hitting and destroying satellites, the space station, and the Reliant as it penetrates the earth’s magnetic field destroying all modern electronics. He shows another projection of an even larger earth-destroying CME hitting in 48 hours. He tells the crew that all manned space stations are being evacuated to earth, including the Reliant.3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
The Tesla Shield saves the crew of the Reliant, however, the electronics on earth have been knocked out. Analyzing a solar observation satellite, the crew discovers an extinction-level CME is headed to earth in 48 Hours. They determine the Tesla Shield may be modified to save the earth but they need a lot more power. With no help from earth available, they will have to journey to the unmanned moon base to retrieve a nuclear reactor.INT COMMAND MODULE
With barely enough time to travel back to earth before the CME hits, Captain Reilly orders the crew to prepare to abandon the ship in the shuttle. Tara stops them all by bringing up a 3D representation of the ship and asks why they can’t save the trillion dollar ship by using the Tesla Shield. She plays the 3D rendering from NASA but adds the Tesla Shield protecting the ship. Reilly reminds her they are under orders, the shield has never been tested, and if it fails they’ll all be killed. Chase argues that if they don’t try it the CME will have killed the space program for decades. Oleg weighs in that he’s for trying the shield and Nico agrees it should work. Diego reminds them if they go to earth they will live but it will be like being in the 1800’s with no electricity or electronic devices.FLASHBACK SPACE SHUTTLE
Reilly in pilots seat as the shuttle roars toward space, the control panel suddenly flashes red as one of the three main engines blows up sending fragment into the other two. She and the copilot run through the abort check list and frantically hi switches and pull levers as they other four crew members watch helplessly from their seats. Someone calling her name brings her back to he present moment: “Reilly!”INT COMMAND MODULE
Reilly snaps back to the present and tells them that she cannot order anyone to do this. It has to be unanimous or they all go home. She asks Tara, Nico and Oleg what are the odds. Tara 60/40, Oleg 70/30, Nico 50/50. With that they all vote, everyone raises their hand except for Reilly and Skyler, who asks if she gets a vote. Reilly tells Skyler no; she is being sent home in an escape pod. Then Reilly raises her hand to make it unanimous. She orders Chase to prep Skyler for evacuation and the rest of the crew to prep the shield. Skyler asks Chase why they can’t just use the engines on the ship to move out of the way? Chase tells her it would take 12 hours to spin up the anti- matter drives.INT RELIANT BRIDGE
Reilly video calls Jack to let him know what the crew has decided to do and Skyler is being sent home in an escape pod. Skyler enters the bridge and asks both of them to let her stay. Someone needs to document what happens. They give her the OK.4. First turning point at end of Act 1
As the crew prepares the Reliant to travel to the moon, a large satellite damaged by the CME heads directly for them. With the anti-matter engine not yet ready to fire and the Tesla Shield down from CME damage. The crew is forced to use a plasma cannon to destroy the satellite. The shock wave from the resulting explosion of the satellite causes the Reliant to spin out of control. With great effort and some injuries to the crew, the Reliant is stabilized and the journey to the moon begins with less than full power from engine damage from the explosion.5. Mid-Point
With other members of the crew needed to maneuver the Reliant in a sling-shot orbit around the moon. Captain Reilly must enlist the aid of the pool reporter, Skyler, to help her retrieve the reactor from the moon base. Skyler is shocked to learn the only way to get to the moon base is by crash landing the shuttle near the base and then using the earth return lunar spacecraft at the moon base to rendezvous with the Reliant. A new solar update indicates a CMJ is headed toward the moon. If Reilly and Skyler are caught in the open on the moon, they will be obliterated.6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
As the crew struggles with its damaged systems of the Reliant to keep it on a sling-shot orbit around the moon, Captain Reilly and Skyler crash land the shuttle by the moon base. With difficulty, they retrieve the reactor and load it onto the earth return lunar spacecraft. However, it will not launch! A quick workaround by Oleg, the mechanical engineer, allows them to lift off just as the CMJ strikes the moon destroying the base, its destructive path following Reilly and Skyler. Reilly struggles with the spacecraft, not designed for what they are making it do, and barely makes it to the Reliant in time for the repaired Tesla Shield to protect them from the CME.7. Crisis
The new reactor is barely installed as the Reliant takes a position to defend the earth. However, the Tesla mask which must be extended for the shield to work is damaged and will not deploy. With every possibility explored and failed, Chase Douglas, the first officer, sneaks off to the cargo bay, suits up, and exits on the space tug.8. Climax
The crew discovers Chase attaching the space tug to the Tesla mask. Against their vociferous protest, Chase uses the tug to extend the mask just as the CME is about to hit. With no time for him to return to the ship, he begs Reilly to engage the shield: a death sentence for him. Tearfully, Reilly puts her hand on the large red engage button. The other members of the crew put their hands over hers and they all push together. The shield spreads like a lotus blossom as Chase disappears in a flash of light. The CME slams into the shield which deflects its destructive power away from the earth. The Reliant is buffeted as its systems alarms blare with overload warnings but the Tesla Shield holds and the CMJ safely passes by earth.9. Resolution
A saddened crew is surprised when NASA contacts them from Cheyenne mountain in Colorado. They have been receiving Skyler’s broadcasts throughout the Reliant’s entire adventure. NASA and the world owe them a debt of gratitude that may never be repaid. A crew will be launched within 90 days to relieve them. The crew of the reliant are no longer professional co-workers from individual countries. They are also more than friends bound together by the crucible of near death experiences and the bonds of mutual commitment, sacrifice, and loss. -
Kate’s NQ 3 and 4
What I learned doing this assignment is the possible perfect visual details that come with each of these moments.
1. Concept.
A young actress finds that her recently found long absent idealized ather wants to destroy a small town that represents her values – now she must choose between the community and her longing for a loving father, ultimately joining them in a ‘sting’ operation and putting on a live ‘tell all’ public theatre performance.
2. Emotional Dilemma
Nia has to let go of the idealized vision she held of her father to really see this one and then does she forgive him, be the good daughter, take care him? Or walk away and truly be free of him?
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
Inciting Incident
Nia leaves troupe camp to go stay with her father, Luciana urges caution, Darrogh makes it clear she needs to choose him or the locals.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
– over 3 separate meetings Luciana gradually gives Nia more info about her father’s behavior both in this community and in the past with her Mother.
– Darrogh loses his temper with Nia and she has flashbacks to memories of his yelling at her mother
– Darrogh threatens local community, Nia can help them but still thinks she can bring D around
– he has reaches back out to her – apologizes for yelling, says to come home.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
The Resolution is the final test after the Crisis when she calls him out – she still has to choose not to stay and take care of him even after he ask her to.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Any chance of having a loving relationship with her father is over. She is heading out on her own and
3. Theme
While secrets often disempower people, knowing the truth frees us.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
A secret can help us keep a comfortable fantasy alive and we feel safe but are not strong
The truth might be painful but it shows us a personal strength so we can make the best choices for ourselves.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Until Nia knows/remembers the full truth of her Mother’s death she keeps thinking that even though he is awful to the people in the community it will be different with her and she can turn him around.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
When Nia says goodbye to her father she is able to refuse his plea for her to stay and look after him, choosing her life even without having an answer for his future.
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Matthew Frendo’s NQ 3 and 4
What I learned doing this assignment was how to add theme and emotional dilemma to an outline. This will make my script stronger and more engaging to audiences.
It’s a few days late because I had to change some things after making story logic changes. I think it does make it stronger overall.
1. Tell us your concept.
What if the judicial system was switched to social media voting, with those found guilty having to go through livestreamed battles and deadly challenges as people at home vote on their punishment?
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
Will Alicia escape with her own life or fulfill her promise to Jocelyn and help the rebels topple the system?
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? With Alicia seeing her deceased little sister in Jocelyn and saving her life during a punishment game.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? She gets closer to Jocelyn and starts believing more in the rebels cause on one side. The other is when she is in brutal games where she must fight for her life, where she shows her lack of trust in people and how she’s been mistreated and working alone her whole life. We also show another convicts plan to escape with riches to a foreign country…and he offers her a seat to go with him.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
Around the third turning point.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? Her guaranteed safety and the freedom she never had as she puts her life at risk to help the rebels.3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
To be the hero you truly are, you must sacrifice what you used to be.
A. What are both sides
of your theme? Her losing her old, hardened self on one side as she learns to
care again. Her becoming the hero she always was inside. At the same time, the
games get more brutal and she has to be her hardened self to survive them and
help Jocelyn survive them.B. How will both sides
show up throughout your story? Her making hardened decisions, such as killing
someone and dealing with criminals on one side. Her bonding with Jocelyn and
taking care of her on the other.C. How does the climax
of the story demand your message? She is forced to do something she never
would have done before as she ascends to hero status by sacrificing her safety
for others.1. Opening Host gives intro into the event and the people who were chosen, including a hardened criminal named Alicia. In the middle of the intro, it goes blank as rebels take over the screen for a few seconds before they come back to the live show.
ALICIA’S INTRO – SEQUENCE
They describe her as a troubled girl who killed her important government figure father as a mere teen and has been locked away since.
INT. PASSAGE TO FIRST ROOM – DAY
Prisoners decide not to do it and don’t want to risk their lives.
2. Inciting Incident. The prisoners’ loved ones are kept in a cage with a bomb…and if they don’t go through the challenges quickly enough, the bomb goes off.INT. ROOM ONE – DAY
The group can’t work together and all get hurt a bit. Alicia saves a girl named Jocelyn at the last minute, but was annoyed by it. Nick talks about how all a person can count on are themselves. Alicia agrees.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. First person dies horribly in event after losing their challenge, setting things in motion.INT. ROOM TWO – DAY
They get into second room and learn to work together to survive.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Games are disrupted by explosion. They are all is pulled into fake room off camera and find out Jocelyn is there as part of a resistance. They can’t tell anyone or the authorities will kill them all, so now they almost have to help her. That’s why she’s been asking questions.INT. HALLWAY TO NEXT ROOM – DAY
Nick wants to tell the authorities anyway, hoping they will let them live, but is talked out of it by past actions. Still, he’s pissed.
INT. ROOM THREE – DAY
They get through the game, but Alicia catches Nick ready to kill Jocelyn. She starts protecting her. We find out Jocelyn reminds Alicia of her little sister.
INT. ROOM FOUR – DAY
After rebels cause disruption, Jocelyn and Alicia talk, with Jocelyn saying what they did to her family and why she is ready to sacrifice herself. Alicia realizes her father was the type to do that thing to Jocelyn’s family. We find out how hard Alicia’s life has been and what she’s had to do to survive. She doesn’t believe in anything good anymore. Jocelyn disagrees.
5. Mid-Point Young innocent Jocelyn is killed in the contest unfairly…and Sam makes sure the audience sees it in horrifying detail. Alicia almost dies herself trying to save her and is saved by Nick.INT. ROOM FIVE – DAY
Alicia is sad and starts siding with Nick, who just wants to win and get out of there. They make deal to survive and escape using his contacts.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2. Rebels take down games and transmission altogether by wiping out power in whole city. Chaos begins as the revolution is now underway.INT. BLOWN HALLWAY – NIGHT
Nick is ready to leave out the hallway with Alicia. Alicia looks and sees Jocelyn’s mother in the room to explode.
7. Crisis. Alicia has a choice: she can help the rebels (and save Jocelyn’s mother like she promised) or escape with her own life.INT. BLOWN HALLWAY – NIGHT
After finding out Nick was there to make sure the rebels didn’t win, she kills hm and goes to save Jocelyn’s mother.
INT. BOMB ROOM – NIGHT
Alicia gets the hostages out just in time.
INT. SIDE ROOM – NIGHT
Jocelyn’s friends pull Alicia into side room and tell her where the rebel leaders are taking over the old authority.
INT. FIRST ROOM OF GAMES – NIGHT
The rebel leaders meet the old authority here, with the plan to put them into the games.
8. Climax Alicia finds the people who put here there. She puts them all into the challenges and releases the information she unknowingly had on them and what they are doing to the world, along with the rebel leaders who let Jocelyn die for their cause.
9. Resolution She leaves the challenges as the only survivor…and a hero to the people. -
Nancy Kates Proseries 81 Numbers 3 and 4
What I learned from this assignment: I’m probably doing better on dilemmas and theme than some of the other Necessary questions. I’m still working on the outline, ie can’t repost it today but will try to post it for Day 11, as I am trying to catch up here.
Concept: Two middle-aged friends, one straight (Heidi) the other lesbian (Zoe) eat a magical substance and switch bodies. They are forced to live as the other person while they work out how to undo the switch. Chaos ensues.
Plot: Metamorphosis
Emotional dilemmas (there are two protagonists, each needs one)
How does it first show up for Zoe?
Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) discovers that Doug is cheating on Marilyn. She doesn’t know what to do. Should she confront him? Tell Marilyn? She doesn’t want to interfere in their marriage or make things worse, but also feels loyal to Marilyn. She wants to defend Marilyn’s interests.
Buildup for Zoe: (in Marilyn’s body) she decides to confront Doug, but wait to tell Marilyn (not the wisest approach, actually)
Zoe’s choice and loss
Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) blurts out during their couples’ counseling session that she knows Doug is cheating, shocking both Doug and Dr. Schwartz, their therapist. She doesn’t know if this was the right thing to do, and she doesn’t know how to tell Marilyn. Ie Marilyn might be almost as angry at Zoe for doing this as she will be at Doug for cheating on her. What is the right thing to do if one is in the unchartered territory of inhabiting someone else’s body? Zoe’s loss is potentially losing Marilyn’s trust, or at least causing Marilyn to be angry with her. She also antagonizes Doug, who deserves it, but isn’t going to be easy to live with after this episode.
Marilyn’s dilemma
Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) discovers that she likes kissing Heidi, Zoe’s partner, and is tempted to go further. Her dilemma is that this would mean sleeping with her best friend’s partner. Her secondary dilemma is that she really likes Zoe’s life, which is so much easier and less stressful than her life with Doug.
Buildup for Marilyn:
She admits to Zoe that she isn’t that keen to switch back right away, which angers Zoe. She starts to give in to her desire for Heidi–this is part of her arc of growth but has serious consequences.
Marilyn Choice and Loss
At the midpoint, Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) sleeps with Heidi, and is ecstatic about it. She isn’t really thinking about the consequences, just acting on her desires and feelings in the moment. This is new territory for her, but she risks losing Zoe as a friend, having betrayed her trust. She has also betrayed Heidi, who senses something is radically different, but doesn’t know that this isn’t actually Zoe.
Theme: To know yourself (and another), walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
I’m not sure what both sides of this theme actually means…??? The entire story is the manifestation of the theme: in each other’s bodies and lives, the two protagonists are forced to confront their own limitations, learn from the other and her circumstances, and grow. It is the growth that will allow them to undo the magic and return to their own bodies and lives.
The climax is a fight–the theme is really highlighted in the resolution, when each woman admits where she has gone astray, and what she has learned by being the other person. There is more work to be done at the end of the story–the two friends will also go to couples counseling, to try to work through their mutual betrayals, but each has learned a lot through the adventure of being in the other’s body and life.
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Justina Mitchell’s 4th Pass — NQ 3 and 4
What I learned doing this assignment is that the more questions I ask, the more depth comes to the screenplay. (But I still can’t decide what time-frame to place it in, ugh!)
CONCEPT:
A very wealthy man who has no heirs considers leaving his money to one of three distant, unfamiliar cousins, but to find out which one would handle a massive fortune best, he decides to give each of them a small fortune while he lives among them incognito and observes their handling of it.
3. THE EMOTIONAL DILEMMA:
When Stanley realizes he has fallen in love with Maggie, he knows he has to continue living the persona he created or risk losing her by telling her that he has been dishonest with her and the rest of the family for their entire relationship.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up?
Ned first brings up the idea of an emotional dilemma when Stanley first tells him his incognito plan. Stanley pooh-poohs the concern hinting that it isn’t a concern for him; he is above that kind of emotional involvement.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up?
Stanley is at first just an observer of the family. He is doing research. He even tells Ned that he feels like a boy at a keyhole watching the family. He dodges any hint that he might be associated with his true identity.
Stanley starts to care about the family beginning with Mellicent’s sad eyes. He is touched and feels a bit guilty when Flora goes into mourning for him. He jumps in to help Flora and Fred out of their predicaments. He is at first impressed with Maggie and then he realizes he has fallen in love with her.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice?
When Maggie talks about Stanley G. Fulton as a self-centered man despite his generosity. Stanley so wants to obtain her approval that he accidentally tells her his true identity before he meant to, then decides to go all the way and he asks her to marry him.
D. What do they lose in making that choice?
Stanley loses being the comfortable John Smith and risks losing Maggie’s and the rest of the family’s trust and affection.
4. THE THEME:
Money doesn’t buy happiness; love does.
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Money can buy happiness.
Side 2: Money can’t buy happiness. Love brings happiness.
B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Stanley isn’t happy even though he has all the money in the world. He is all alone with no close relationships.
Hattie never has enough money to be happy, (even though she really does have enough), because she is always trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Her relationship with money makes her family miserable.
Jane doesn’t let herself enjoy the money she has because she might lose it, (even though she really does have enough to enjoy some of it). Her relationship with money makes her family miserable.
Flora is intimidated by money and feels guilty when she gets it.
Maggie doesn’t have much money at all, but she enjoys life and makes everyone around her happier with her generosity of spirit and love.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Maggie enthusiastically accepts poor John’s proposal not realizing that he is really rich Stanley. When she realizes who he really is, she confesses to him that she didn’t need his money and was keeping her inherited money a secret from John so that he wouldn’t be put off proposing to a wealthy woman.
UPDATED OUTLINE:
1. INT – STANLEY’S NEW YORK OFFICES – NIGHT
Clean shaven Stanley Fulton is leaving his opulent office while staff members cordially tell him goodnight. There are no signs of anything other than business in Stanley’s office. As soon as he is gone the staff members look relieved.
2. EXT – CITY STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Stanley comes out of the office building and a well-dressed couple who are acquaintances of his stop and chat with him for a minute. The unattractive man is a bit drunk, and the woman is insincerely devoted to him; both circumstances, Stanley picks up on disapprovingly.
3. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT
Stanley is cordial, but not close with his cook/housekeeper who leaves for the night. He eats his dinner by himself as he focuses on business.
Inciting Incident:
Stanley nearly dies in a funny but frightening way within the framework of his everyday life.
4. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT
Stanley is climbing the grand staircase when he, forgetting something, turns to descend the staircase. His feet get tangled and he has a humorously horrific tumble down the entire flight of stairs. The papers that were in his hands go flying. He lays at the bottom in a heap.
5. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT – LATER
Stanley awakens at the bottom of the staircase. In a daze, he starts picking up his papers. When he sees his bloodied reflection in a mirror, he is so startled he falls down the stairs again with the papers flying once again.
6. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – DAY
A concierge doctor is attending to Stanley’s injuries; portable MRI machine and all. Stanley’s friend and lawyer, Ned, is also there. Stanley reveals to Ned that he is concerned about what to do with his money when he dies. He talks about how inherited money ruined the man he ran into the night before. He also says he isn’t the marrying kind, and doesn’t want the woman that would marry him just to marry his money. He also dismisses giving the money to colleges or charities. Ned mentions relatives, and Stanley has a brilliant idea come to him which he shares with Ned in Voice Over as implements the travel plan to Hillerton.
By page 10, you know what the movie is about:
Stanley has determined that he needs an heir and has devised a plan to go live among his only known relatives in order to pick one.
6a. EXT – REMOTE EDGE OF A SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE – DAY
Clean shaven Stanley goes into the jungle with a small group of local guides. 2 Months later, bearded John Smith/Stanley emerges from the jungle with a different small group of local guides.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1:
Stanley arrives in Hillerton in beard and modestly priced garb and begins boarding with one of his cousins. He becomes acquainted with his cousins and their current way of life.
7. EXT – HILLERTON TRAIN STATION – DAY
Stanley/John gets off a train wearing a trimmed beard and mustache and respectable but inexpensive clothing.
8. EXT – STREETS OF HILLERTON – DAY
John is walking down the residential streets of the small town.
9. EXT – JAMES DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
At their expansive and expensive rented house, Stanley introduces himself to the Driscoll family as John Smith, a respectable, trustworthy genealogist who is researching a book on the Driscoll family. He provides a letter of introduction from a respected banker in town. He asks if they might be interested in his boarding with them. They are polite, but Mrs. James, Hattie, can’t consider taking a boarder since the wealthy never do; her husband wouldn’t have minded the income. They send John to their brother Frank’s house for boarding.
10. EXT – STREETS OF HILLERTON – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Stanley, who is now John Smith, has an informative walk with Benny, the youngest Driscoll, across town to Frank’s house. He finds out that basically Benny hates that his mother is all about appearances now that they have recently moved to the rich side of town. He also learns that Mrs. Frank, Jane, is a tight wad.
11. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
John Smith arranges to stay in the modest and plastic covered apartment of his cousin’s family above their grocery store. He shows an immediate interest upon meeting Mellicent, Frank’s eighteen year-old daughter. He is also encouraged that Jane is all about giving to others if only they had enough money to give.
12. EXT – JIM DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John goes to ask Hattie Driscoll, Jim’s wife, about family history. While there he meets Maggie Duff, the older step-sister of the Driscolls. She is a whirl of youthful energy, kindness, and positivity.
13. INT – FLORA DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John is visiting with Flora Driscoll, his spinster cousin. She shows him a family album that contains a magazine photo of him as Stanley. She sees the resemblance, but then chalks it up to his also being a distant cousin of theirs.
14. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
John goes to Maggie’s home because the family records are kept there. He meets Father Duff, and sees how deftly Maggie handles the cantankerous old man.
15. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME- DAY
John sits at a table and works his way through the family records. He sees many family members come and go asking for advise and taking advantage of Maggie, which she handles with love and wisdom. He also gets a good feel as to how the family members currently handle/regard money.
Mid-Point:
The small fortune that was to be given to the cousins arrives via Stanley’s lawyer, Ned.
16. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John arrives home to find all the Driscolls gathered in the living room. They learn that they each have been given $2,000,000 from their famous, distant cousin, the ultra-wealthy Stanley Fulton. They are very excited. John reacts with shock that even with this most exciting news, some of the cousins find reasons to distrust it, while others have declared that their benefactor is dead.
17. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
John and Maggie discuss her not being in the bequeath and how the others are handling the money. Jane comes by to ask Maggie if she could now board John. John gratefully accepts the change of address.
18. INT – JAMES DRISCOLL’S NEW HOME – NIGHT
At an elaborate party we see how the different members of the family are responding to having wealth. Hattie and Bessie are trying to keep up with Gaylords, the millionaires in town. James is just happy to have money to buy books and time to read them with his sons. Fred, is starting in with the questionable Gaylord crowd. Mellicent is flirting with everyone including Mr. Smith. Jane thinks the party and dresses are a frightful waste of money. Frank can hardly think outside of the grocery business. Flora is in mourning for their benefactor who they assume is probably dead.
Second turning point at the end of Act 2:
All the happiness and joy of the cousins is dwindling as the complications of having a small fortune and what they have done with it is starting to hit home.
19. INT – TOWN JAIL – NIGHT
John and Maggie bail Frank junior out of jail and gives him words of wisdom to straighten up his act.
20. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
John finds Mellicent with a young man she loves, Douglas Gray, but who isn’t rich so her mother doesn’t approve of him. When Jane happens upon the three of them, John says he was out with Mellicent, and that Douglas is his protege.
20a. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S NEW HOME – EVENING
John arrives with Douglas to find two questionable but rich young men there to vie for Mellicent. John finagles for Mellicent and Douglas to play piano and violin together while John distracts Jane from intervening and the two young men get annoyed.
Crisis:
As Stanley and Maggie are trying to help the cousins with their money complications, they grow closer and suddenly Stanley realizes he is in love with her.
21. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
Maggie gets a letter from a law office that brings tears to her eyes, but she won’t tell John what it is about; he assumes it is telling her that she has lost most of her money. Flora comes to talk about the beggars that she has been sending money to. John takes on the role of her secretary to get her away from the scoundrels.
22. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
While Maggie is walking through the park she sees the young rich men playing tennis and Mellicent being monopolized by John instead of watching them play. Maggie gets jealous and disappointed in John. Someone mentions that it must almost be time for John to be moving away, and she cries.
Climax:
Stanley has to confess to Maggie that he has been lying to her this whole time about who he is, and she responds angrily and feels that she can’t trust him.
23. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – NIGHT
A lawyer comes to the house, but Maggie won’t tell Stanley why. Stanley finds out that Maggie thought that he was interested in Mellicent romantically. He goes to say that is absurd because he has never seen a woman yet he would want to marry, but as he does so, he looks at Maggie and realizes she is just such a woman.
23a. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOUSE – DAY
Hattie comes to say how the money has made them miserable and that they are moving to a different town. She is a changed woman, no longer wanting anything to do with the Gaylord’s or the like. After she leaves John questions whether the money did any good. They talk about the different relationships the family had with the money; it wasn’t the money’s fault.
23a. EXT – CLOSED FACTORY – DAY
John and Maggie are walking past the factory. They start talking about Stanley Fulton. Maggie reveals that she has been trying to learn about the man; she gives her opinion of him to John. John/Stanley wants Maggie’s approval so much that he sort of tells her that he is Stanley as he proposes to her. She doesn’t catch that he is Stanley, but enthusiastically accepts the proposal. He then ask her if she would like him to reopen the factory – one of her civic dreams. She is confused as to how poor John could do that. He then makes it clear that he is Stanley Fulton. She is furious that he has been lying to the entire family this whole time. She kicks Stanley to the curb.
Resolution:
Maggie decides that it wasn’t such a terrible lie, and she forgives Stanley. They then devise a plan to break the news to the rest of the family.
24. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
Benny asks for John, and Maggie tells her that John is staying at the motel. Benny gets upset because he never saw Maggie so happy as when John was around. Maggie agrees and searches out John.
25. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
Maggie and John make up and get engaged again. She tells him that she inherited $1,000,000 from her father’s side of the family; that was why the lawyer had come. They discuss how they will tell the rest of the family.
26. EXT – TRAIN STATION – DAY
John leaves town and several of the family members see him off.
27. EXT – REMOTE EDGE OF A SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE – DAY
John goes into the jungle with a small group. Stanley Fulton emerges from the jungle with a different small group carrying lots of crates.
28. INT – SOUTH AMERICAN HOTEL – DAY
Stanley checks into the hotel under his real name which catches the attention of the locals.
29. EXT – STEAMSHIP LEAVING SOUTH AMERICA – DAY
Stanley boards a ship with the crates.
30. EXT – STEAMSHIP ARRIVING NEW YORK CITY – DAY
Stanley disembarks into a throng of reporters. He is welcomed by Ned and his family, including their house guest who Stanley is “introduced” to, Miss Maggie Duff.
31. POSTSCRIPT HEADLINES
News headlines reveal that Stanley is dating Maggie Duff and then announces their engagement. The whole family is invited to the small private wedding.
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Day Ten – Adding Necessary Questions 3 & 4 – Assignment
Mike O’s – NQ 3 and 4
“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is the process stimulates creativity and pieces and possibilities come to mind that normally do not. I don’t have to be in the middle of writing the script to have these aspects come to me. If I plot them out in advance, then every “insight” can be put into the outline. Then when I am ready to write the script, it is where my script normally is after say five rewrites. I do believe this process will take my scripts and my ability to write to the next level and I won’t have to rewrite a script a dozen times to get all these aspects into it. This takes outlining to a whole new level!! I am a big believer in outlines, but I have never broken down the structural elements in this manner and worked them into the outline. Love this!
1. Tell us your concept. “A daughter struggling-to-keep-it-together, having lost her mother earlier in the year, has to now deal with her estranged father’s estate. Forced from her shell, from burying herself in her work and hiding from the world, she must face the real world head on.”
2. Tell us your Emotional Dilemma and the answers to these questions:
The dilemma is an emotional decision that the lead character has to make between two unacceptable choices.
Choice A: Avoid falling in love with Mr. Right and further her painting career — at the cost of sleeping with a rich, older man whom she doesn’t know, but who can make her instantly famous.
Choice B: Follow her heart — lose the chance of a lifetime and the fame and fortune that goes with it.
A. How does the Emotional Dilemma first show up? When Carolyn, the gallery owner, tells the protagonist, Brooklyn, about the rich man who wants her and her work. When Carolyn meets Mister Right and they have instant rapport and strong chemistry.
B. How are both sides of the issue built up? Brooklyn thinks about the money the rich man is paying for her paintings and what he wants her to paint at his mansion. She tells herself “it’s just a job, nothing more.” She tells Carolyn this several times. She flies back to Chicago, meets with the rich older man, is tempted, takes the work and puts off his advances for the time being.
C. When does the protagonist make the choice? When Mr. Right shows up at her studio in Chicago just before she goes through doing what the rich man wants and becoming his.
D. What do they lose in making that choice? Brooklyn loses the instant fame and wealth the rich man is able to provide her.
3. Tell us your Theme and the answers to these questions:
A. What are both sides of your theme?
Side 1: Love is real and when you find it, you must choose it in order to have true happiness.
Side 2: Love is a state of mind; marrying for wealth and position is the smart choice.B. How will both sides show up throughout your story?
Side 1: Love is real – her meeting and then interacting with her love interest & his boys.
Playing Monopoly, cutting down a Christmas tree and decorating it, making dinners together, etc.
Side 2: Love is a state of mind – Iverson, a very rich man, offers a lot of $ for her painting w/ conditions,
He flies her back to Chicago, has private limo pick her up, has a surprise b-day party for her, offers her a very lucrative painting assignment: frescos at his new mansion.
C. How does the climax of the story demand your message?
Brooklyn confronts Richard, the antagonist, in her father’s art gallery. She tells him to leave, she has proof he’s stolen paintings, hidden camera. He is to return them and leave. Tells him “My father would be ashamed at what you’ve done. I’m glad he’s not here to see your true colors.”
4. In the current version of your outline, fill in the events you’ve discovered during this process. List out your outline as you did in Day 7, with slug lines and the essence for each scene.
OPENING SCENE: Brooklyn is having lunch with her best friend and her patron for her paintings.
INT. CAFE — LUNCH Brooklyn talks with Carolyn about love, loss, and her upcoming 30<sup>th</sup> birthday.
EXT. GALLERY BUILDING – LATE AFTERNOON Brooklyn takes her latest painting to Carolyn’s gallery for the upcoming showing.
INT. TOWN HOME – DRIVE WAY – EARLY EVENING Brooklyn gets home, changes into lounge clothes, gets a letter from her father’s lawyer.
INCITING INCIDENT: Brooklyn learns she is the executor of her father’s estate and must leave.
INT. CAROLYN’S SUV – DAY Carolyn drives Brooklyn to the airport, warns her it might take her a few days.
EXT. CAR RENTAL PARKING LOT – NOON Brooklyn leaves the airport, drives off in a rental Jeep for her father’s town.
EXT. CAFE – CONTINUOUS Brooklyn arrives in town. Hungry, she finds a café and stops.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY Brooklyn calls her dad’s lawyer. He answers and joins her for lunch.
INT. ART GALLERY OFFICE – DAY Alan takes Brooklyn to her father’s gallery. Brooklyn meets Richard (antagonist) he is a charming womanizer. He plays upon her emotions.
INT. SMOKE SHACK – EVENING Brooklyn meets Richard at the restaurant for dinner and to talk about the gallery and get her up to speed.
INT. ALAN’S OFFICE – MORNING Brooklyn is warned by the lawyer, Alan, that Richard wants the gallery. He gives Brooklyn keys to her dad’s cabin, the gallery, etc. and directions how to get to the cabin.
INT. JEEP – LATER Brooklyn is following the map, finds her dad’s cabin. It’s beautiful.
EXT/INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS From the outside, it is beautiful. Inside, more stunning. Brooklyn discovers her dad had great taste, was a painter. He has photos of her from childhood on. Shes blown away. She never saw him keeping tabs on her.
INTERCUT: CAROLYN DRIVING, BROOKLYN AT THE WINDOW Brooklyn tells her that her mother lied about her dad, talk about Carolyn’s son, then Iverson, CEO of Apex Industries, is stopping by the gallery to buy Brooklyn’s three paintings.
EXT. CABIN DECK – DAY Brooklyn is there painting the landscape before her. Finishes, sets it by her dad’s, same landscape different season. Tells him “Here daddy, for you. Merry Xmas”
FIRST ACT TURNING POINT: Brooklyn discovers a shoe box filled w/ letters all “return to sender” letters her father wrote to her, which her mother wrote “return to sender” on them. END OF ACT ONE
EXT. FRONT PORCH – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn answers the door, meets Tarek and his two small sons. Learns they are in for the holiday to spend it with her dad. They don’t know he has passed.
INT. KITCHEN – LATER
She tells Tarek her father passed. The boys overhear. They all hug.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn, Tarek and the kids play monopoly together. Brooklyn wins.
INT. DINING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Tarek and the boys share the dinner they brought with Brooklyn.
EXT. PORCH – AFTER DINNER
Tarek, the boys and Brooklyn go outside, have a snowball fight.
EXT/INT. PICKUP TRUCK – LATER
Tarek and the boys pack up and leave Brooklyn.
INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn retrieves the shoe box of old letters, electricity goes out. She lights lanterns, builds a fire.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn reads all her father’s letters to her, throws the old checks in the fire.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek worries about Brooklyn, Tyler tells him to call her, Brandon knows dad didn’t get her #
INT. LIVING ROOM – SAME
Phone rings, Brooklyn thinks it’s Tarek; it’s Richard. She turns down his dinner offer, meet him tomorrow.
EXT/INT. GALLERY – MORNING
Brooklyn goes to Art Gallery; Richard is not there. She opens it up.
INT. COLD CREEK CAFE – LUNCH
Brooklyn runs into Tarek and Tyler there. They argue over the merits of an artist. She is offended.
INT. GALLERY – AFTERNOON
Carolyn calls Brooklyn; a rich patron wants to meet Brooklyn, has $, has to see her to buy her work.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Brooklyn gets a basket of goodies from Tarek w/ an apology card.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – NIGHT
Brooklyn mulls over her feelings for Tarek, her lust for fame and recognition that Iverson can provide.
INT. LIMOUSINE – LATE AFTERNOON
Iverson greets Brooklyn. Flatters her, they go to dinner where Carolyn is there waiting for them.
MONTAGE – BROOKLYN AND GUESTS CELEBRATING
Dancing, mingling, dinner and desert. Iverson kisses the back of her hand, a telling gesture.
INT. CAFÉ – NEXT MORNING
Brooklyn and Carolyn talk re: Iverson wanting Brooklyn to paint murals in his mansion and perhaps more.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – KITCHEN – MORNING
Tarek makes boy’s breakfast, winces in pain several times.
EXT/INT. WINTERGREEN BANK – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes in and buys all of Tarek’s photograph off the wall.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Brooklyn goes to the places where Tarek has his photos and buys them, takes them to her gallery.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek and boys build a fire, have eggnog and cookies. Tarek’s new phone is fully charged. Brandon tells him, “You know Brooklyn left you a bunch of texts.”
INTERCUT: ALAN, HIS OFFICE; BROOKLYN, THE GALLERY
He tells her Richard is trying a legal stunt to steal the gallery from her.
EXT. GRAVEYARD – DUSK
Brooklyn goes to visit her father, tells him her mom lied. Cries, Ruby shows up, tells her that her father knew she loved him, that her father was the love of her life.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – LATER
Brooklyn is drinking wine, eating chocolate, calls Tarek.
INTERCUT: BROOKLYING SITTING; TAREK AT THE FIREPLACE
Brooklyn is sure her father’s signature on the document Richard gave to her lawyer is a forgery. Tarek tells her to be careful, that Richard is a good guy and this starts their argument and tif.
[HAVE THIS ARGUMENT OVER RICHARD – DRIVE BROOKLYN TO CHICAGO, TO SEE IVERSON…. WORK ON THIS ANGLE NEED THE TENSION…. LOVE TRIANGLE>>>
INT. BED – LATER
Brooklyn texts Carolyn, asks for Iverson’s cell number. Carolyn texts it to her with a smilie face.
She texts Iverson, he texts her back.
INSERT – TEXT
“I will send my jet for you. Let me know when you would like to leave.”
INSERT – TEXT
“Tomorrow, after work, 6pm. Denver Stapleton, right?”
INSERT – TEXT
“When you get to Stapleton, call James at this number: 773-456-3336. He will find you.”
She goes to Chicago, Iverson makes his intentions known, they kiss and she realizes it isn’t something she can do for any amount of money. She apologizes, says she is in a relationship. Iverson is gracious and says he still wants her to do the murals. They part friends… She touches her lips (look up how I wrote it when Dino and Leah kissed on the bike at his step dad’s house) Thinks back to Tarek’s kiss then thinks on Iverson’s and knows what true love is …. Epiphany!!
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – MORNING
Brooklyn is awakened by the door bell. She checks the security camera, it’s Tarek and the boys. She is so happy.
They go out, cut Brooklyn a Christmas tree and take it back to her place. Tarek tells her it has to drop. The warmth will settle the branches. TAREK “Give it a day, it’ll be perfect.” That night at Tarek’s cabin, they make dinner.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NEXT EVENING
Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys decorate Brooklyn’s tree then play a revenge game of Monopoly. Learn Brooklyn is leaving again for Chicago.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – 47<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes to see Iverson, learns what he wants her to paint. Takes the sketches with her.
INT. STUDIO – LATER
Brooklyn is in her studio painting, working on her ideas for Iverson’s murals. Carolyn sneaks up on her. They have a heart-to-heart re: her love for Tarek and her fear.
INT. KITCHEN – NEXT MORNING
Carolyn answers Brook’s phone, speaks with Tarek. Listens, orders his airplane tickets, tricks him.
INT. STUDIO – DAY
Tarek surprises Brooklyn at her loft. They KISS, go back to Carolyn’s.
INT. BROOKLYN’S HOME – LATER
Spend the night, the boys with Tarek. Next morning, she leaves, Tarek collapses in pain.
INT. STUDIO – MOMENTS LATER
Brooklyn gets a panicked call from Brandon, his dad is on the floor. Calls 911.
EXT. BROOKLYN’S RESIDENCE – LATER
Brooklyn pulls up, ambulance is there. Tarek tells Brooklyn “Look after my boys.” END OF ACT TWO
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
Tyler in Brooklyn’s lap in Tarek’s room. He survives, they are all together.
INT. BABBLING BROOK GALLERY – NIGHT
Richards breaks in, steals the good paintings and substitutes them for no-name paintings.
INT. BROOKLYN’S STUDIO – DAY
Carolyn shows Iverson in the studio where they see Brooklyn’s easels.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – MORNING
Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys are all together.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Brooklyn confronts Richard . She has proof he stole the paintings. Carolyn walks in as moral support for Brooklyn. Richard is beaten, he leaves. (THE CLIMAX)
EXT. GRAVE SITE – DAY
Brooklyn visits her father’s grave, apologizes, cries, begs for his forgiveness.
EXT. MEADOW – CHRISTMAS MORNING
We glide over the new fallen snow, see the Christmas lights up around the cabin, the chimney smoke and go inside…
INT. BROOKLYN’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brandon hands out Christmas presents, Tarek asks .Brooklyn to marry him.
ROLL END-OF-FILM CREDITS
MONTAGE OF THE WEDDING
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