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Day 10 Assignment
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Jean’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that laying out all my ideas in a beat sheet helps me see the pilot as a whole and it’s easier to see where things work and where they don’t, what I need to adjust and enhance.
Concept: A moralistic time-travel recruit learns to fix the past for the betterment of the future when she discovers she’s the catalyst to a paradox that will bring down the secret agency and she must bend her morals or die to save not only herself and the Vault but also the world.
Inciting Incident: Sharra has to flee or be killed and she leaves to join the mysterious Vault Agency.
A Story: Sharra’s recruitment/time travel missions
B Story: Sharra/Tanner/Faolan’s love triangle – J.D. Dash/Sharra
C Story: other relationships – Lazarus/Sharra Lazarus/Tanner Lazarus/Faolan
TEASER
EXT. Colonial Philadelphia Street – Day
A gangly teen Benjamin Franklin locks the printshop.
EXT. Narrow Alleyway – Continuous
Tanner dressed in Colonial wear spots Ben, his target. Ben leaves the shop whistling. Tanner goes to cross the street, gets stopped by buggies, loses track of Ben.
EXT. Street – Continuous
Two mean-looking men spy Ben’s full satchel – easy pickings – and drag Ben into a narrow alleyway to kill him.
EXT. Alleyway – Day
Tanner takes out both men. It’s not Ben’s day to die. Tanner quotes a saying by an older Ben and vanishes, leaving a confused Ben behind.
ACT 1
EXT. Manhattan Street – Day
Sharra, distracted, collides with Lazarus. He pickpockets her keys, dropping his pocket watch. He’s already moved on leaving Sharra holding the watch. Further down, Lazarus gives Tanner the keys and points out Sharra.
INT. Finance Office – Day
Sharra is at her desk, studying the watch. Notices the time. A staff meeting is called.
INT. Conference Room – Day
Sharra, expecting a promotion, gets overlooked. Again.
INT. Finance Office – Day
Sharra is on the computer, searching for a new career, something with adventure. J.D. Dash, a colleague, offers his condolences, notices the watch, recognizes the miniature inside, grows wary. Sharra notices, but Dash distracts her with offers to look around for another position for her.
INT. Sharra’s Apartment Living Room – Day
Tanner enters, snoops – family photo, a faded quilt, a few time-travel novels, plants – a lonely existence. He hides a camera bug behind the picture.
EXT. Financial Building – Day
Sharra sees Tanner and reacts – he’s hot – drops her things. Tanner helps her, slipping her keys back into her bag. He notices job applications, His company is looking for someone, gives her a Vault Agency business card. He’s the second person offering her a job. The logo is the same as Tanner’s tattoo. It shimmers. Sharra is drawn to it. Touches it. It zaps her. It’s weird.
INT. Sharra’s Apartment Living Room – Day
Sharra notices the photo is out of place, doesn’t see the bug. We see the photo – her parents, a younger her and her brother. It zaps her like the first time. It makes her curious. She googles Vault Agency, comes up with a website. Looks real. She dials the agency’s phone number.
INT. Faolan’s Townhouse – Night
It’s London 1825. Faolan walks in stiffly. He’s obviously in pain. He sends his concerned butler away.
INT. Faolan’s Bedroom – Night
Faolan reveals a stab wound in his side. The housekeeper arrives with water and bandages, Butler’s orders. He wraps his wound, then pulls out a black uniform, totally not 1825, hidden in the armoire. He looks grim, resigned. He turns the jacket and we see the Vault logo imprinted in silver on the chest and arm.
ACT 2
EXT. Manhattan – Office Building – Day
Sharra steps out of a taxi and heads to the door. Tanner, off to the side, Links to Lazarus. Target heading his way. He follows from a discreet distance.
INT. Office Building Reception Area – Day
Sharra asks for directions to the Vault Agency office. Tanner gets out of the elevator and stays back, watching.
INT. West Wing – Day
Sharra stops at Vault Agency’s door. She gets zapped by the card again. Blames it on static. She is nervous.
INT. Executive Suite – Day
Sharra recognizes Lazarus and gives him his watch. The interview is odd. Lazarus mentions Grayson. She flinches at the name. She hasn’t seen him in years. He promises adventure, interesting places and people, stimulating work, a place she can use her perfect memory ability to the fullest. She isn’t convinced it’s for her, yet agrees to take the weekend to think about it.
Tanner listens close by. When Sharra is gone, he agrees – she’s not a good candidate for a recruit. Tanner and Lazarus have a disagreement about her recruitment, Lazarus knows differently. Tanner leaves for the Vault.
INT. Financial Office – Day
Sharra, going through a client’s numbers, discovers her boss is embezzling millions. She makes a copy on a USB stick. Her boss is coming. It’s not finished. He stops to talk to one of her workmates. She closes the file just as the boss walks in, but doesn’t have time to remove the stick. She slides a piece of paper over it.
INT. Vault Main Corridor – Day
A distressed Tanner rushes to Cam. It’s Sharra. She’s hurt. They hear a hum through the wall. Someone has returned.
INT. Vault Chamber – Continuous
Faolan, wearing a Vault uniform, is pressed against the arch entrance, listening. The hum comes from behind him. Electrical – alive – alien. He peeks out. Spots Tanner and Cam. He slips out to the room across the corridor.
INT. Terminex – Continuous
Faolan steels a Com-Link from a duffle bag. Gets onto one of the futuristic stations and activates the screen. Works it like a pro – comes to Sharra’s file and gets the timeline and info he needs. He over-rides the Com-link. Ailbe, his personal com answers. New mission.
INT. Main Corridor – Continuous
All clear. Faolan hurries across and disappears through the marble archway. A strange hum returns, growing louder. A flash of light. Then darkness. The hum slows.
INT. Sharra’s apartment – Day
Sharra looks over the Vault contract. Something about it doesn’t seem right. She does a google search. Comes up with nothing. She looks at the USB stick and calls Dash, looking for some advice. Makes plans to meet.
INT. Restaurant – Day
Dash thinks it’s a date until Sharra confides in the embezzlement. When he hears she got a job offer by an agency, he’s quick to tell her he’s found a position outside the state for her. He’ll arrange everything. She is grateful but has to do one thing first.
EXT. Manhattan Battery Park – Seaglass Carousel – Night
Faolan magically appears. No one notices. Target 10 minutes away.
EXT. Manhattan – Office Building – Night
A mugger attacks Sharra, going for her satchel. She fights back and gets stabbed. She drops to her knees. He gives a message to desist and takes off.
ACT 3
EXT. Office Building – Side Courtyard – Night
Faolan runs from the back street, stops, then hears Sharra yelling.
EXT. Office Building – Front – Continuous
Sharra is up and stumbling after the mugger. Desperate – re: the contract.
EXT. Office Building – Side Courtyard – Night
Faolan takes down the mugger and drags him to the side just as Sharra appears. Only then does she notices she’s hurt. Faolan grows alarmed. Wants to go to her but holds back. She leaves. Faolan checks behind the mugger’s ear – no tattoo. Finds a note, someone hired him. He gets the mugger’s address from his license and takes off in a taxi with Sharra’s satchel.
EXT. Office Building – Front – Night
Still holding her side, Sharra picks up her discarded shoes, grimacing.
INT. Elevator – Night
Sharra opens her coat. So much blood! She makes an effort to calm down.
INT. Executive Suite – Night
Lazarus catches Sharra as she faints. He Links Tanner to bring Cam and a med-kit. A few seconds later, Tanner and Cam are there. Cam repairs Sharra while Tanner and Lazarus argue. Sharra’s handling of the mugging proves Tanner’s point – she’s not a good candidate. An angry Lazarus sends Tanner to go back in time to stop the mugging. Tanner wants to get a piece of this guy for hurting Sharra.
Later
Sharra wakes, frightened, convinced it was her boss’ doing. Lazarus keeps Sharra overnight in his office. She readily agrees using her trauma to stay, eying his computer. Lazarus steps out – take care of some things. Dash calls Sharra in concern. He says some things that he shouldn’t know but she doesn’t pick up on it. While alone, Sharra puts the USB stick in an envelope and addresses it, then sneaks into Lazarus’s computer, into her file. There is a section on her parents’ accident. Lazarus comes back, stopping Sharra from opening the file.
ACT 4
EXT. Office Building – Front – Night
Tanner shifts back right before the mugging. He watches it happen, too far away to stop it, distressing him. Tanner, in stealth mode, watches Sharra race after the mugger and then reappear. With the way clear, he heads to the side courtyard.
EXT. Back Street – Night
Tanner spots a man getting into a taxi. With his Com, he tracks the taxi.
EXT. Mugger’s House – Night
Faolan breaks in the back door.
INT. Mugger’s Living Room – Night
Faolan searches for clues. Hacks into the computer. Opens email. A car out front stops him from reading it. He quickly takes a photo, opens another, takes a photo. Then shuts down the computer. Pulls out a knife. He’s ready to kill the mugger but stops when he spots Tanner racing to the house. Faolan vanishes.
The mugger experiences the tail end of a shift – a reset of vacuum space – but he has no time to react because Tanner bursts in and goes ballistic on the mugger, finding out someone else was there before him, and took the satchel/contract. Tanner loses control and beats the mugger only stopping when the man is unconscious.
INT. Executive Suite – Night
Lazarus reads the note his future-self came back and left for him. The note states Sharra is crucial to fixing the Vault. His posture sags, he carries the weight of the world on his shoulder. Tanner comes back empty-handed and at a dead-end about the mugger. They argue over Sharra’s suitability. Lazarus sends a begrudging Tanner to watch over Sharra, keep her safe, and bring her in.
EXT. Graveyard – Day
Sharra visits her parents’ gravesite looking for advice, of course, gets none. Her brother has disappeared, too. She has no one but herself. Tanner is there, sees her loneliness and loss.
INT. Financial Office – Day
Sharra’s boss calls her into his office.
INT. Boss’s Office – Day
The boss knows that she knows about the money. Re: the missing file. She tries to deny it, but he backs her into a corner, threatens her – no one will believe her accusations. She quits. And storms out He gets on the phone and calls in a favor.
INT. Financial Office – Day
Sharra angrily empties her desk into a box. Dash tries to comfort her but she’s in no mood.
EXT. Financial Building – Day
Faolan waits out of sight for Sharra. Spots her stomping out of the building. He goes to speak to her but spots Tanner and slips back out of sight. He’s drawn to Sharra. Sharra becomes angrier to have Tanner as a bodyguard, but can’t get rid of him.
INT. Sharra’s Apartment – Day
She arrives home and finds her place totally trashed. Everything is broken. The picture is smashed. She finds the camera. She cries. Tanner gets angry at whoever did it. He comforts Sharra. She grows suspicious of Tanner. Makes Tanner leave. Sharra calls Dash, she can’t stay in her apartment. She’s ready to take up that job offer, but they must leave now. He arranges to meet her and gives her directions.
INT. Mugger’s Living Room – Day
The mugger gets a call that he’s gone too far stabbing Sharra. It has pushed her right into ‘their’ arms. New plan: kidnap Sharra. The mugger wants revenge for the beating. He’s promised the chance.
ACT 5
EXT. Warehouse – Day
Sharra gets out of a taxi. It leaves. She enters the warehouse, nervous.
INT. Warehouse – Day
Sharra calls for Dash. The battered mugger grabs Sharra, but Sharra’s boss shows up with a bunch of hitmen with guns (He got a tip) and takes control. Sharra accuses her boss of hiring the mugger which both deny.
EXT. Warehouse – Day
Tanner runs up. Then, stealth modes to the open door and hears angry voices. The boss wants the USB stick.
INT. Warehouse – Continuous
Stubbornly, Sharra refuses. When her boss learns the NYPD has the USB stick, (She mailed it to them.) he turns furious. Her boss shoots Sharra but Tanner who has been sneaking closer, throws her down, and the bullet hits the mugger instead, killing him. Tanner grabs the mugger’s gun and takes down two guys. He’s a trained fighter. But there are too many. Police sirens get closer.
EXT. Warehouse – Continuous
Police cars pull up.
INT. Warehouse – Continuous
Sharra and Tanner are surrounded, trapped. It looks hopeless. Tanner holds her, tells her to close her eyes and they disappear.
INT. Faolan’s Bedroom – Night
Faolan enters, drops the satchel on the bed next to evening clothes. The dinner party! He removes his Vault jacket. A cloth bandage is wrapped around his torso above his Vault pants. A tiny bit of blood has seeped through. He starts to undo it.
Later
Faolan’s butler helps him get ready. Faolan puts Sharra’s satchel away. He looks at the photo of Sharra. Then reads the email sent to the mugger and realizes it came from a Vault agent.
INT. Shiftroom – Day
A flash of white and a glimpse of Tanner and Sharra. Then, they disappear.
EXT. Office Building – Front – Night
Tanner and Sharra reappear outside the Vault Agency building. Sharra is in shock, but Tanner doesn’t slow down. She accuses him of following her. He calls her a pain in the neck and magnet for trouble. Tanner is only with Sharra at Lazarus’ command, not by choice.
INT. Executive Suite – Night
They burst in. Lazarus offers Sharra a trial basis, she can go anywhere she wants after that. Tanner gives her the family photo that he took from her apartment. She has nothing left. Forced to flee or be killed, she takes his offer. He promises all will be revealed. She has to trust him. She takes his hand. They vanish.
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Binge Worthy – Mod. 3 Lesson 10 – Beat Sheet
I’ve learned how helpful these outlining techniques can be.
• A story = Lane Baer, writer doesn’t find the story he’s desperate for until he’s accused of murder.
• B story = Marta, his wife. Paige, his daughter.
• C story = Christian Savage, history teacher who is murdered, Leylah Hafez, senior student wanting to seduce Baer, Margaret Gilgood, head mistress of school
• Other relationships = Destry Baer, Lane’s father, Faron Jones, Paige’s boyfriend
Teaser
INT. SAVAGE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Doorbell rings, he lets in the visitor who kills him.
Act 1
EXT. MAILBOX – DAY
Hands pull out mail
INT. BAER BUNGALOW – DAY
Lane Baer depressed, and drunk tosses bills he got from mailbox
Marta returns home, tries to give Lane encouragement
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Baer has dream of slitting throat of his agent.
Baer and Marta try to have sex. Baer can’t have erection.
INT. KITCHEN – DAY
Paige announces Lane going for interview at school where a student was shot and killed by police.
INT. VOLVO – DAY
Baer drives Marta to work, Paige to school. Paige tells him again about shooting. Paige is greeted by young stud, maybe four years older. He greets her and they breakaway from the crowd of kids. This concerns Baer.
Act 2
EXT. SIDEWALK – DAY
Baer walks to interview at school. Nervous. Vomits in the bushes.
EXT. STREET – SAME TIME
A dog follows him, gets clip by car. He picks up the animal and moves him to a safe place.
INT. GILGOOD’S SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
EXT. SCHOOL QUAD
Sees dark-haired girl with necklace watching him from window on Second Story.
FLASHBACK: Baer’s father, DESTRY BAER, dismisses his son’s talent. They wrangle, Baer falls, cuts his forehead.
After slightly rancorous interview, Gilgood hires Bare on temporary basis. She types every word he speaks.
EXT. CHAPEL DOORS
Baer sees exotic girl with necklace he saw in window.
INT. BANK – DAY
Marta feels migraine coming on. Has no medication.
INT. DRUG STORE – DAY
Marta gets sidetracked by cosmetic salesperson, has makeover. With makeup she’s no longer a plain jane but becomes a brazen, sexy woman.
INT. ALLEY – DAY
Marta removes makeup before going home.
Act 3
INT. BAER MASTER BEDROOM – DAY
Marta undresses to lie down. Hears what she thinks is an intruder.
Looks for Lane’s gun. Finds it under the bed.
Door opens: It’s Paige. “What are you doing on the floor?”
Marta hides gun in bed covers.
ADDED SCENE: Paige exits. Stuffs her bed with pillows to make it look like she’s sleeping. Sneaks out of her room. Meets up with Faron Jones.
Lane comes home. Announces he got the job. Crawls in bed with Mart. She wants to play their sex game. Lane finds the gun.
INT. CLOSET – DAY
Baer hides gun in boot.
Act 4
EXT. SCHOOL COMPOUND – DAY
Gilgood gives Baer Tour of school. Introduces him to ETHEL REMMETER, house mother of boarding department.
Meets CHRISTIAN SAVAGE, history teacher.
INT. BAER’S SCHOOL OFFICE – DAY
Working on novel. Struggling to find the story. Finds note and copy of his published novel asking for his autograph. Signed, Leylah Hafez.
INT. LITERATURE CLASSROOM – DAY
Baer meets Leylah. She’s very seductive. He tells her to make an office appointment.
Gilgood enters classroom. Wants him not to teach Madam Bovary.
INT. THESIS PUB – DAY
Savage warns Baer’s to watch his back. Girls and Gilgood are dangerous.
Confides about death of baby and his divorce.
Also confides about his tryst w/Gilgood
Baer invites Savage home for dinner. He accepts.
INT. BAER KITCHEN – NIGHT
Marta doesn’t want to cook for company.
FLASHBACK: The first date Marta goes to Lane’s apartment. He cooks for her while she edits his ms. They are so taken with each other, they have sex. Marta’s first time.
INT. BAER’S SCHOOL OFFICE – EARLY MORNING
Baer works. Leylah enters. The conversation becomes very seductive. She tells him she’s Persian. She says she’d die for him.
Gilgood enters. Warns Baer. Says she can make it that he can never teach again.
INT. VOLVO – LATE AFTERNOON
Baer day dreams about Leylah’s hands on his chest.
INT. BAER BUNGALOW – EVENING
Baer arrives. House ready for Savage’s visit. Dinner, flowers, Marta’s new personality enters wearing a red dress.
Much flirting goes on between Marta and Savage. Upsetting to Paige.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Baer wants to know if Marta is attracted. They banter. Paige hears them. Asks if they are going to get a divorce. Marta strongly denies it.
Page: I don’t like that man, Savage. Daddy, he’s going to make you very sad.
End of pilot/Episode One.
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Tracy El Pueblo Pilot Beat Sheet #1
I can see the value of outlining with five characters to keep track of. It just took me a very look time to come up with complete episodes for each. So much of it playing in my head has just been a scene or impression.
Episode 1: Destiny
A man does not make his destiny: he accepts it or denies it…Ursula K. LeGuin
Spring 1817
Concept:
Contrary to popular belief, the first illegal immigrant to cross the <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> border was a white American, who only spoke English, hadn’t a penny to his name, and got tossed into jail. This series is based on the true story of that Yankee pirate and his fierce buddy who deserted their ship in this enemy territory in 1818. One white. One black. While terrorizing this Spanish province with their pirate comrades, they were captured. Then these two dangerous buccaneers had the gall to ask the brown colonists of <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Los Angeles</st1:place></st1:city> to hide them.
What happened next?
TEASER
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
A woman stands in the doorway near front of the church. Her hair is roughly shorn off, some scalp showing. One eyebrow is shaved off. The priest publicly banishes the widow for fornication.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Continuous
After service, Antonia confronts priest in confession box about the woman’s unfair punishment. Lectured that women must remain pure entire life.
LATER
Antonia stands in front of casta painting with Grandmother (or girlfriends) — discuss predetermined fate due to skin color.
EXT. El Pueblo Central Plaza – Day
Lover of the disgraced woman, the village carpenter, is held in public stocks — Antonia and girlfriends pass by him with mixture of curiosity/disgust– he will be banished also.
ACT 1 Antonia
Inciting Incident: Antonia’s uncle dies; Antonia becomes nanny at
aunt’s house <div>A. Story: Antonia making choices for her life – rejecting marriage arrangements with older men.
B. Story: Antonia seeking young men closer to her age
C. Story: Relationships with girlfriends and cousin, her closest
confidante about to be lost.INT. Grandmother Guadalupe Moreno’s House – Parlor – Day
Antonia refuses to acknowledge an older prospective marriage partner in her Grandmother Moreno’s parlor. Instead she escapes.
EXT. Senora <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Moreno</st1:city></st1:place>’s House – Interior Patio – Day
Antonia trips over Indian servant Marta outside the door. Complains about her grandmother forcing old men on her — at least Marta gest to choose. Marta would choose Senor Lopez, but he’d never take her.
INT. Senora <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Moreno</st1:place></st1:city>’s House – Outdoor Kitchen – Day
Antonia slams the door shut of the separate adobe kitchen and screams to God.
INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Parlor – Day
Antonia rushes into her aunt’s home, complains about Grandma’s meddling. Gert soothes her niece, reminding that Grandma’s doing her best to raise up all the women in the family.
INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day
Antonia tiptoes in to visit uncle lying on the bed, overcome by sudden illness. He’s much older than Gert. Grandma shows up, shooing Antonia back to her house.
EXT. Path – Day
On the walk home, Senora Moreno berates Antonia’s behavior toward Senor Lopez. Antonia can’t be persuaded, still rejects him. Wants to be in love with someone nearer her age. Wants to stay in town, not out on lonesome ranch. Grandma scoffs!
EXT. El Pueblo Central Plaza – Stocks – Day
Crossing the Plaza, the accused lover is gone from the stocks. Out of one of the adobe houses, Antonia’s cousin runs out to join them. She is opposite of Antonia, deferential towards Grandmother.
(INT. some interaction or revelation…)
Learn that Antonia hates kids… a day or two passes…
INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day
Priest surprises Antonia in the doorway. Situation is grim, given last rights. Frantic aunt orders Antonia to go to the native village Yangna and bring a shaman.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Yangna</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Village</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
Antonia knows Grandma’s servant Marta lives in village, but she’s working. Antonia spies several women washing clothes at the river. Arranges for shaman. Indian women ask why Antonia came to village alone.
INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day
Shaman performs ritual over uncle, who is barely alive.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Cemetery</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
Copious weeping and wailing. Aunt Gertrudis can’t be dragged from her husband’s gravesite. Grandmother pulls Antonia aside. She is available since she won’t get married, so she’ll be the nanny at least until the baby is born.
EXT. Outside cemetery – Day
Antonia unhappily loads the children into the carreta. Cousin runs up, crying that Grandma has betrothed her to the man Antonia rejected. She’s scared, doesn’t want this. Antonia advises her cousin to tell Grandma “no.” Too late, her parents have agreed to it. It’s Antonia’s fault!
Act 2 Lucas
Inciting Incident: Lucas’ father dies; Lucas cut off from all funds
A. Story: Lucas loves life at university and <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico City</st1:place></st1:city> </div>
B. Story: Lucas adjusts to new life at home with no money
C. Story: Lucas sent off to CA in his brother’s place
<div>
INT. Mexico City – Courtroom – Day
In the packed courtroom audience, Lucas listens intently to Prosecutor lay out case against three rebel patriots battling the Crown in the war for independence. Lucas is satisfied when a guilty verdict is handed down with a death sentence.
INT. Mexico City – University Classroom – Day
Lucas challenged by the law professor to state his view of the war in class debate. Lucas recites the Prosecutor’s speech as his own.
INT. Mexico City – Dance Salon – Night
Several young couples finish a dance, Lucas is among them. He mentions to his friend that he got a message from home that his father was hurt in a ranch accident, but he decided to stay in the city.
EXT. Mexico City – Night
Outside the salon, the couples are surrounded by young Royal militia on horses. Lucas runs away, but is surrounded. A recruit from his law class tells him his speech was admired. He must join up. He must spy on his bourgeois friends.
EXT. Mexico City – Grand home – Night
Lucas drops his partner at her fancy home. He professes bravado and wealth. She invites him to dinner on the weekend. Confesses …what?
INT. Mexico City – Student Tenement – Night
In his austere residence, he shuts the curtains, checks for anyone spying from the street. By candle light, writes out lesson (or letter?).
EXT. Mexico City – Plaza – Day
Tensions between the pro-Spanish and pro-revolutionary factions escalate.
Lucas witnesses a family of heretics claiming to be true Catholics killed. It is rumored they are Jews, ferreted out by the Inquisition. Others claim this is false propaganda; they were supporters of the independence movement.
INT. Mexico City – Ballroom – Night
Lucas attends ball that night with his girlfriend — all are criollo status people. Talk of being divided in their loyalties toward King or independence.
EXT. Mexico City – Student Tenement – Day
A messenger from home. He delivers the news that Lucas’ father died. His eldest brother insists he bring everything. His life in <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico City</st1:place></st1:city> is over.
EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Cuernavaca</st1:city></st1:place> – Polanco Hacienda – Day
Lucas stands with his family at his father’s gravesite on the property. He couldn’t be buried at the church because he committed suicide. Family is ostracized in town.
INT. Cuernavaca – Polanco Hacienda – Barn – Continuous
Vicente, the eldest brother, informs Lucas he has no money. All inheritance by law goes to Vicente. All younger brothers must go out on their own. Lucas’ favorite brother has offer to go to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:state w:st=”on”>California</st1:state></st1:place> territory with an uncle.
INT. Cuernavaca – Polanco Dining Room – Day
At family meal, Lucas’ favorite brother announces won’t go to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state>. He’s joining the insurgents to fight for <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>’s independence. Lucas can take his place, as only one with university education. He must leave soon to catch the only ship heading north. The port is 600 miles away, travelling across battle areas via mule caravan.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 3 Father Diego
Inciting Incident: Father Diego receives assignment to CA </div>
A. Story: Diego adjusts to new life after ordination from
seminary at homeB. Story: Diego discovers his father’s serious trading
indiscretionsC. Story: Family sets up huge trust with the Church that Diego
will administer<div>
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>INT. Queretaro City</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Seminary Colegio do Propaganda Fide – Day
Diego’s wealthy family warmly embraces the newly-minted “Father” after his ordination. Diego doesn’t want to be the family’s provincial priest as they planned.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>INT. Queretaro City</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Seminary Colonnade – Day
Diego shows his family painting of famous student Father Junipero Serra. Serra went out west to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> territory. Diego not interested in that work. He wants to stay in this city where the revolution started. He supports the Indians fighting for justice.
<st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Queretaro</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>City</st1:placetype> – <st1:place w:st=”on”>Corregidor</st1:place> House – Street – Day
Diego shows his father this house where the woman lived who started the revolution with priests and politicians. He confides that he visited her in his religious capacity when she was a prisoner. Diego’s father is alarmed!
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Queretaro</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>City</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Cathedral – Day
Diego’s father sets up secret meeting with the Bishop.
EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Monterey</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Perez Hacienda – Day
Diego rejoices riding up the grand entryway to the family compound in northern <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>. He’s greeted warmly by family, servants, respectful of his new stature and priestly garb.
INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Diego’s bedroom – Day
Diego flops onto the luxurious canopy bed. He admires the rugs and wallpaper. Two servants bring in hot water for a bath.
EXT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Day
Diego is greeted by children as he enters the grounds. His childhood priest is still there, all smiles. The old man ushers the younger priest into the nave.
INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Nave – Continuous
Old priest hints at Diego’s plans, does he intend to replace him? The old man asks where Diego stands on the revolution. Diego confides that it began in secret near the seminary. The old man beckons towards the inner sanctum.
INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Storeroom – Continuous
In a storage closet, the old priest shows Diego three Native teens hiding. They are insurgents needing asylum. The priest pleads with Diego to ask his father to assist moving them to safety.
(INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Day
Diego discuss with his dad what to do with fugitives?)
INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Office – Night
Diego explodes at his father over the fate of the three Indian boys. His father traded the teens to the Comanche. His father justifies this to keep the family and home safe. Diego rejects this. Morally offended.
INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Night
Diego uses the confession box to tell the old priest what happened to the Indians. He begs for forgiveness. His father is sending him off to check on family business at the coast. But he wants to head off looking for the teens.
<st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Gulf</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Coast</st1:placetype> – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Matamoros</st1:city></st1:place> – Wharf – Day
Project manager shows Diego around the extensive family business. Diego assures him he’s not taking over. He asks to see the books.
<st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Gulf</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Coast</st1:placetype> – <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Matamoros</st1:place></st1:city> – Office – Day
Diego questions the project manager about some obscure items. Turns out, they are trading African slaves into <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:place></st1:city>. Diego asks if they are holding any Africans now.
INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Office – Day
Diego confronts his father about slaves. Diego is horrified that human cargo is part of their fortune. Diego’s father tells him the Inquisition has started up again so don’t call attention.
EXT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Day
A messenger arrives with envelope for Diego. He receives orders from the Bishop to go to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> territory.
INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Office – Day
Diego’s father pulled strings to get this assignment for all their safety. He tells Diego of the huge bequest the family will give the church that Diego will administer. He takes a trade caravan to the west coast to scope out a new network in that direction. He’ll only be gone a year, as far from home as possible.
.<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Act 4 Thomas
Inciting Incident: Thomas signs up with Captain Bouchard in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> </div><div>
A. Story: Work life aboard warship
B. Story: Thomas works his way up to better positions
C. Story: Relationship with Black Jacks, seamen, officers
onboardEXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Streets – Day
Thomas is in the midst of crowded streets of revelers celebrating <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region>’s first anniversary of <st1:city w:st=”on”>Independence</st1:city> from <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Spain</st1:place></st1:country-region>. American sailors stand out in blue jackets, blue-striped bellbottoms, red vests, wide-brimmed black hat painted with tar.
EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Podium – Day
The governor announces two warships will sail in opposite directions to carry their new flag around the world. They’ll also attack all Spanish targets. Mariners will get booty taken from the richest empire in the world.
EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Podium – Continuous
The two captains are introduced. They describe their routes. Thomas very excited to hear that Captain Bouchard’s warship heads east to <st1:place w:st=”on”>Africa</st1:place>. He’s ready to sign up!
EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city></st1:place> – Street – Day
Thomas rounds up several other black American sailors – Black Jacks. Some of them have sailor protection papers – Eagle at top identifies them as freemen. Thomas lays out his plan to get to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Sierra Leone</st1:country-region></st1:place>, a haven for former slaves.
INT. Buenos Aires – Bar – Night
The bar is packed with sailors of all nationalities. The local sailors disparage Captain Bouchard. They tell awful tales of sailing for him during the battles for <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Independence</st1:city></st1:place>. They refuse to sail with him now or ever. Thomas doubts his choice.
EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:place></st1:city> – Wharf – Day
A long line of Spanish sailors wait to sign the documents with the captain heading west to the Pacific. Thomas paces at the edge considering what to do.
EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship La <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region> – Day
Thomas is on deck. Captain Bouchard addresses his crew of 250 sailors of assorted nationalities. Assures them they will get rich. When Bouchard gives an order in French, Thomas responds. Thomas sailed for smuggler Jean LaFitte in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:city></st1:place>. Bouchard reveals he studied mapmaking at the US Naval Academy.
EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – La <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region> – Day
The other warship <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Santa Rosa</st1:place></st1:city> heads out to great fanfare. Bouchard’s crew is stuck in harbor, confined to ship, waiting for more weapons.
EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship – Day
Still stuck in harbor, men grow quarrelsome. Captain Bouchard’s brothers-in-law come aboard as junior officers. No experience being aboard ship.
EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship – Day
In harbor still. One of the Bouchard relatives gives an order, pushes a sailor. Huge fight breaks out. Two sailors killed, others removed from ship. Thomas questions his choice of signing with Bouchard.
EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship – Day
At last they weigh anchor July 19 without fanfare while the populace celebrates their Independence Day. These are foreigners without family to wave them off, except for a few families of the Argentine ex-slaves. The elite don’t really like Bouchard!
Act 5 Joseph
Inciting Incident: Joseph is pressed aboard the whaling ship as
a joke </div><div>A. Story: Joseph retrofits unseaworthy whaling ship
B. Story: Joseph’s old Master to jumpstart his ship building
businessC. Story: Joseph’s brother comes to visit in <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Boston</st1:place></st1:city>
EXT. Boston – Shipbuilding Yards – Wharf – Frigate Elizabeth – Day
Joseph delivers the news that the frigate <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city> is not seaworthy enough for what the investors standing before him have planned. Best for six months then bring her in for dry dock over the winter. Keep her in the sugar trade going to the <st1:place w:st=”on”>West Indies</st1:place>, don’t venture far out to sea.
EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Continuous
The group of business men look over the ship. Joseph tells them it’s an insurance risk. They ask if he’ll crew as second carpenter. Refuses. Done with the sea. Joseph knows how to build better ship. The <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city> was built cheaply and quickly for the War of 1812. Five years is the shelf life. Why not invest in a new ship with Joseph? Investors decide to stick with their plan. With whales depleted near home, they will open up a new fishing ground and corner the market on whale oil. They order a retrofit to make this into a whaling ship.
EXT. Boston – Ladies Seminary – Day
Joseph picks up young woman, escorted by her servant. They walk to small church.
INT. Boston – Church – Day
Very austere. Anabaptists all dressed in plain grey clothes. They sing a hymn in 4-part harmony.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
A group of Calvinist teens waits outside. Harass the folks coming out as anti-Christian. Hand out pamphlet against their version of Christianity. Joseph chases them off.
EXT. Boston – Ladies Seminary – Day
The young woman is glad Joseph decided to attend again. It’s not quite the religion of his youth — stricter. He fails to keep peace towards other men so often.
EXT. Boston – Joseph’s Shack – Day
Joseph’s young brother age 18 shows up. He’s allowed to see the secular world. Not sure if wants to farm, stay in faith community. The pair move onboard so brother can have a bed.
INT. Charlestown – Master Builder’s House — Day
Joseph tells his old Master he will buy him out, take an apprentice. The guild approved Joseph as master craftsman, allowed to establish his own shop! He needs to build a house first. Did love the man’s daughter once but not allowed to marry while indentured.
EXT. Charlestown – Path along waterfront – Day
On route to see the naval yard. Joseph looking forward to living on solid ground for good. But not as a farmer. Not giving up trade that pays wages. Maybe his brother will learn a specialized trade. So much work around shipyards.
EXT. Charlestown – Naval Yard – Day
Joseph admires first US navy ship under construction. Paul Revere’s company applying cooper metal sheeting to the huge hull. The brothers’ pacifist religious beliefs don’t allow them to work on a warship.
EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day
Young captain comes to inspect his ship, purchased by banker father. This will be his first time out ever. Ignores Joseph’s suggestions for safety improvements. Asks Joseph to hire on. Good payout on return with oil.
EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day
Visited by former brethren (or current) – invite back to church. Joseph tells them planning to take on first apprentice. Might they have a candidate? A ship is a marvel of math and artistry with wood for a boy who loves the sea.
EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day
Install the cranes for lifting whales. Finish fireplaces for cauldrons on deck. Huzza! Brother falls off rigging onto deck. Workman invite brothers for a mug of ale.
INT. Boston – Tavern – Night
Friendly banter. Brother drinks excessively.
EXT. Boston wharf – Frigate <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city> – Night
Joseph thanks mates for helping him get his brother to bed onboard.
INT. Boston wharf – Frigate Elizabeth – Day
Brother recovers from hangover. Joseph says need to control it. Shows in Bible where Jesus turned water to wine. Jesus drank. Just don’t get drunk. Get to work finishing painting the hull.
EXT. Boston wharf – Frigate Elizabeth – Day
Mariners begin moving in who will be sailing soon. Brother falls into the water from the perch painting the hull! Not cut out for ship life.
INT. Boston – Joseph’s Shack – Day
The brothers move Joseph’s belongings back to his shack from the ship. Brother wants a girlfriend, but won’t lose her as Joseph did honoring his indenture contract.
EXT. Boston (or <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Charlestown</st1:city></st1:place>) – Ladies Female Seminary – Day
Joseph and his brother escort two prim young ladies. The brother is astounded that the girls are studying at this age since school stops for Anabaptists at age 13.
EXT. Boston – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Baptist</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
They all attend the Baptist church of the second young lady. The sermon is on the evils of trine baptism. Joseph and his brother are stunned to be the targets.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>St. Charles</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>River</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day
Baptism of brother by Anabaptist brethren – jeering led by the Baptist minister? or public argument. Brother ready to go home. Joseph promises to visit after he gets paid and buys the shipyard of his old Master.
INT. Boston -Tavern – Night
Joseph warming up by fire on cold night. Men from the <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city> invite him for a drink.
<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Boston</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Harbor</st1:placetype></st1:place> – On board Frigate Elizabeth – Day
Joseph awakes in his old cabin on <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city>. He’s shocked the ship is moving. The men say they put him into his own bed after he was drunk. Joseph doesn’t remember ordering too much ale — never drinks hard liquor.
One of the companions from the tavern urges him just to go along with it. Joseph knows this is the expectation. He’ll escape when they put to shore for supplies.
</div>
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Janeen’s Beat Sheet:
What I learned going this assignment is that I did most of this work back in lesson 8 (except for the slug lines) so this was easier than I anticipated. I currently have way to many locations for a pilot and will have to pare that down as I refine the beat sheet.
Show Concept: An LA-based mind control practitioner, Cara, inherits her best friend’s $60M farm and her twins but finds that farming is an asset rich, cash poor big business, not profitable large scale gardening. To preserve the twins’ farm legacy, she must conquer the complex world of modern farming before her mentor, family matriarch Randi, becomes incapacitated by her Alzheimer’s.
Inciting Incident: Cara’s best friend and her soulmate die in a crash and she must abandon her life in LA to become a farmer.
A Story: An LA mind control/intentional medicine practitioner must take over the operation of an Iowa farm and care of twins after the death of her best friend and her husband.
B Story: Colleagues and Competitors: Jim wants to take over the farm by offering to help and the older sister of the dead farmer, Randi, secretly has Alzheimer’s and must hide it as long as possible.
C Story: Cara has to become the sole parent of the 11 year old twins. The twins’ best friend is Jim’s youngest son. Jim’s oldest son looked at the dead farmer’s father as a grandfather and Randi as a favorite and appreciative aunt and doesn’t want them tricked out of their land.
BEAT SHEET
TEASER:
The accident Essence:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – NIGHT
Mike and Mindy leave for a NYE party, Mindy chats with Cara about dreams coming true because of her boyfriend’s impending proposal and her desire for a baby.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Mike and Mindy crash into a train when there are no brakes on their car. (Undeserved misfortune, extreme consequences)
Turning Point: The word “Molly” uttered between Mike and Mindy as they crash. FUTURE: What does Molly’s death have to do with theirs?
ACT 1:
EXT. WALRATH FARM – DAY
(J Beginning): (16 years earlier) Jim and Mike are buddies growing up with Jim’s dad being a mean drunk who impresses on Jim that they need more land and he should marry it. Jim is into Molly for the land and because she is cute, but she is into Mike who she is dating. Mystery: Do farmers really marry for land?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – DAY
Mike goes to college and tries to keep up his relationship with Molly. (Witnessing the pain of others)
INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM – DAY
How Mindy met Mike — how Cara met him first — and talked to Mindy in college about how great Mike was, but he was already taken. FUTURE: Is Cara still in love with Mike?
EXT. WALRATH FARM – EVENING
(J Turning Point 1): Molly refuses Jim until Mike comes home and ditches her.
INT. COLLEGE DORM ROOM – EVENING
What happened? Cara was gone 2nd semester and Mindy gloms onto Mike, securing him before Cara returns; Mystery: What is a “mind control and intentional medicine practitioner” and just how powerful are they? FUTURE: Why was Cara gone for a semester?
EXT. MOLLY’S FARM – NIGHT
(J Midpoint:) Molly agrees to marry Jim and he does so for her land. His dad dies soon after.
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY
Randi breaks the news to Mike that Molly is getting married to Jim.
INT. MOLLY’S FARM – MORNING
(J Turning Point 2): Molly has Hunter just 8 months after they marry and he thinks Mike is the biological father. Mystery: Who fathered Hunter?
EXT. PARK – EVENING
Back to last summer – 4th of July picnic after fireworks (R Beginning) Randi loves being the aunt/grandmother to the twins and her matriarchal position on the farm. She’s glad her brothers went back to Alaska. It’s always tense when they’re around. Glad Jim and Molly could come to the picnic. FUTURE: Why is the relationship between Molly, Mike and Jim so tense?
INT. MOLLY’S FARM – NIGHT
Act 1 Turning Point: (J Major Conflict) Jim blows up at Molly and she commits suicide (perhaps only seeing Molly die at the crossing) FUTURE: Was it really suicide?
INT. MOLLY’S FARM – DAY
Funeral scene of people saying they are so sorry — suicide?) Jim is non-committal. She was fine at the picnic. Gabe and Hunter shuffle uncomfortably Mystery: Why did Molly commit suicide? FUTURE: Did Jim kill Molly? Why are the kids uneasy about it?
ACT 2:
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Essence: (R Turning Point 1) With harvest starting soon, Randi goes in for her physical and finds out she has Alzheimer’s but the audience doesn’t — just that she has gotten some devastating news. Mystery: What’s wrong with Randi? FUTURE: Randi has Alzheimer’s
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY
(M Turning Point 1) : Something doesn’t seem right about Molly’s death. Mindy and Mike investigate — she was fine at the picnic. What happened? FUTURE: What really happened to Molly.
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
Halloween: (R Midpoint, M Midpoint) Randi tells Mindy about her a serious medical problem — makes her promise not to tell Mike or Cara and make Cara take over the farm or Mike’s brothers from Alaska will get it, not the twins as Mike (and
his deceased dad) wants. The audience only hears the promise and fade as Mindy is told. What will Randi’s “problem” mean to the family? FUTURE: What’s wrong with Randi? Why did Mindy comply with Randi’s request? Why isn’t Mike being told?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Mike and Mindy have found something in their investigation — we don’t know what — but they decide not to tell anyone until after the holidays. It’s too late to help Molly now and too close to the holidays for this kind of disruption. FUTURE: What did Mike and Mindy find about Molly’s death?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Mindy convinces Mike to “saddle” Cara, not Randi, with the executor of the farm as well as the kids. Not fair to expect her to stand alone against her brothers. She says “just humor me on this and I’ll explain it all later.” FUTURE: Why Cara and not someone else?
INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – DAY
(C Turning Point 1): At Christmas, Cara is asked to be the executor/guardian of the twins’ estate if anything happens to Mike/Mindy. Mystery: Will Mindy keep her promise to Randi? Mystery: Why do Mike and Mindy want Cara to be their executor when he has Randi and his brothers to choose from?
INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – EVENING
(M Turning Point 2): Mindy talks Cara into it.
INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – MORNING
Mindy gets a premonition about her own death — Jim or Cara? Mindy uses her mind control to try to find out more against Cara’s wishes. Mystery: Are the premonitions real or imagined or a ploy? FUTURE: What is Mind Control and how can it be used?
INT. CAR – DAY
Mystery: Did Mindy use her mind control techniques to get Cara to agree?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
Act 2 Turning Point: (M Major Conflict): After returning from Chicago, Mike wants to expose the evidence they have that Molly’s death may not have been a suicide and Mindy reluctantly agrees. It’s NYE and they’re heading out to the party. Cara calls “for luck” on her date with her boyfriend. FUTURE: Why postpone telling people about Molly’s death?
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
(M Ending) The NY’s Eve accident (again) where Mike and Mindy’s car crashes into the train just as Molly had. FUTURE: Why do Mike and Mindy die in an accident just like Molly’s?
ACT 3:
INT. CARA’S LA APARTMENT – NIGHT
Essence: (C Midpoint) Cara gets a call that Mike and Mindy are dead and she has obligations to the family on NYE. She bails on her boyfriend and he is pissed that she’s leaving for Iowa. (Major loss, marriage/boyfriend at risk) FUTURE: Will Cara make future decisions based on her desire for a family?
INT. CARA’S LA APARTMENT – MORNING
Plans to go to the farm for the funeral and will reading having her assistant cancel/reschedule all her appointments and not having good luck smoothing it out with her boyfriend. She has already decided that she should take the kids back to LA and rent out the farmland. FUTURE: Will Cara give up her dreams for the kids and farm?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING
Arrives at the farm hours before the funeral. Kids are excited to see her, but very sad. Randi glad to finally meet her after all these years of phone chats and hearing about each other. Mystery: Why hasn’t Cara ever been to the farm where her best friend has lived for 12 years?
INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
Goes to the funeral and meets Jim who she’s heard about for years. He is very charming. Mystery: Are there sparks between recent widower Jim and Cara who has heard about him for 16 years?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
Cara broaches the subject of taking the kids to LA when the will is read the day after the funeral. Mystery: Will Cara take the kids back to LA?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Cara talks to Randi about all of the wonderful neighbors who have volunteered to take on the rental land to lighten her load. Randi objects on the grounds of that rental land being part of the twins’ legacy. Mystery: Can Randi talk Cara into staying on the farm? FUTURE: Why won’t Randi accept help from the neighbors?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING
Randi asks if Cara’s boyfriend (she was getting engaged, right?) will move to the farm with her until the twins are of age. Cara says he may not even be her boyfriend any more since she ditched him to come to Iowa when she was pretty sure he was going to propose. Mystery: Will Cara’s boyfriend follow her to the farm? (A reverse Green Acres?)
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY
Act 3 Turning Point: (R Turning Point 2) Randi realizes she has to make Cara stay or risk losing the twins’ legacy that she has promised to pass on to them. FUTURE: Why is this such a mission for Randi?
ACT 4:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON
Essence: (R Major Conflict) How can Randi get Cara to stay? Randi explains rental land to Cara and what it means to the farm; FUTURE: Why must farms increase in size or go under?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Cara talks to her boyfriend and he says he will not come to Iowa or do long distance; Kids don’t want to leave the farm; Mystery: Will Cara convince her boyfriend to come to the farm?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Mystery: Can the kids and Randi convince her to stay on the farm? Mystery: What can she do to earn money on the farm? Moving there would be a huge financial hit. FUTURE: Will Cara give up her career or practice here?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
(C Turning Point 2) Cara’s boyfriend breaks up with her — not willing to take on temporary kids/family in LA and certainly not moving to Iowa. She barely has time for him now. She won’t if she’s raising a stranger’s kids.
INT. MOLLY’S FARM – EVENING
(J Ending 1) Jim sees Mike and Molly’s death as a chance to get more land and tells his sons that’s what they must do — find a way to farm Mike and Molly’s land and eventually take over the rental land. Mystery: Will Jim be able to get control of the farm’s land by being “helpful”?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING
Act 4 Turning Point: (C Major Conflict) Randi convinces Cara that a huge part of the kids’ legacy will be gone if she
doesn’t farm for them — Mike’s brothers will come down from Alaska. FUTURE: What’s the story with the Alaska boys?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON
Jim promises Cara he will help with all of the farming. FUTURE: What does Jim have planned for Cara and the farm?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
Randi is livid and explains about Molly’s accident/suicide; Mystery: Will Randi’s explanation of Molly’s death convince Cara to stay? Mystery: Why doesn’t Randi tell Cara about her “problem”?
ACT 5:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING
Randi guilts Cara after looking at her Alzheimer’s diagnosis; Mystery: Why can’t the decision to farm come after Mike’s brothers visit from Alaska in the summer?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON
The Twins guilt Cara; FUTURE: Will Cara be a real parent to the kids?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING
Cara does some mind control work and decides she must honor her commitment to Mindy/Mike. Mystery: When Cara is doing mind control work, what is she really doing?
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – MORNING
Cara thinks about Jim as a replacement for her boyfriend. Mystery: Can Cara find a new boyfriend since her biological clock is ticking loudly?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – MORNING
Act 5 Climax/Turning Point/Lock In: Randi sees that Cara is thinking of Jim as a replacement for the boyfriend (and Mike) she just lost. FUTURE: Why does the thought of Jim and Cara terrify Randi?
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
Hunter says he’s helped Mike’s dad and Mike with the equipment for years and can help Cara too; Mystery: What was Hunter’s role on the farm?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON
(C Ending) Cara opts to stay, out of guilt that she may have caused Mike/Mindy’s accident with her own wish for Mike.
FUTURE: Why is Cara feeling guilty about Mike and Mindy’s deaths?
EXT. CAMPION FARM – CONTINUOUS
Thinks Jim/Hunter will help her and then sees Jim’s violence Act 5 Lock In: Hunter says he’ll help her and Jim is furious with Hunter for “helping” rather than “doing”; Gabe flinches; the twins shudder; Randi gasps; Cara is shocked; FUTURE: Will Cara change her mind?
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R. Reid Jr’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is I am always reflecting on this story from many angles and redoing a new approach or new way to help tell this story. It is amazing!
ASSIGNMENT
Tell us your Show Concept-A Man who has lost his memory is sent to Earth/Sigma 2619 to retrieve an item called THE TECH. Only in the transport his memory has become foggy. He doesn’t know who or what to trust.
Inciting Incident. A sophisticated group of robbers have pulled off an amazing heist only when caught they have only stolen stationary items of the bank and have no memory of who they are, who they robbed with or any memory of the heist itself.<div>2. List your A, B, and C Stories.
A Story: Bruce poses as an Insurance Agent to get access to the clue of mysterious technology that was used to alter the memory of a group of strangers.
B. Story. Bruce without a memory tries to learn about Earth culture by enrolling in a course at a local college. He runs into the same girl who might have had the mind control device on in his study group.
C. Story: Bruce works with the agency to ensure they are in the dark and that they don’t find THE TECH he is looking for or the Mysterious woman he is looking for if she has the answers.
3. Present your current Beat Sheet with no dialogue.
TEASER
INT. BANK — Day
A group of sophisticated people are pulling off a bank heist.
ACT 1
INT. BAR — NIGHT
72 hours before
Bruce has traced the signal of a device to a Bar called the STONEY BLARNEY. As he goes inside he talks to a girl with a bit of blood on her knuckles. Bruce asks her if she is fine. She says it is not her blood. An older girl emerges with a bouncer he is out of sorts and she comes over to the bloodied knuckled girl and takes her out of the bar, saying
INT. BANK — Day
Bruce is introduced by the bank president and the agents are told to give courtesy to the experience Insurance who will be representing the bank.
EXT. CAMPUS — Day
Bruce is enrolled in a sociology course and asking to have the seat next to him. He is a bit clueless about how to take notes and a few people help him as he opens his book from the bank instead of from the left.
EXT. AGENT OFFICE — Day
As Bruce is about to enter the office for a latest update he overhears the agent talking about doing what it take to move on up in the company.
ACT 2
INT. BAR — Day
Bruce, Snowy and group are at the bar hammering out their group effort over some wings and beverages. After a break everyone except Bruce goes to stretch their legs. Suddenly the mysterious woman who met Bruce when he first came to the bar sits down with Bruce to talk about someone she knows. Bruce can’t remember her from any past.
EXT. CAMPUS — Day
The agents on a hunch and description come to the campus looking for a girl that matches Snowy’s description who was at the bar and floored out 5 guys.
Bruce sees them on the campus and his phone says they have tried to call him. The message says they are going to loop him in. And before he can hit return on his phone it is pulled off to the side by the Mysterious woman.
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Rob’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that I have a structure of sorts for the pilot that includes some intriguing elements. It was valuable to lay it all out and see what I have.
Show Concept: An ancient ghost and a brilliant young archaeologist team up to protect the world from demons seeking to bring about the apocalypse.
Inciting Incident: The Mirage, who has lived in isolation, is drawn into a plot by demons to kill an archaeologist.
A Story: The Mirage vs the demons
B Story: Detective White hunting the Mirage
C Story: The Mirage’s relationships with Julia, Madeleine, and receiving memories of his family and his identity.
Beat Sheet:
TEASER:
INT. CLUB – NIGHT
A young stud tries to hit on an attractive woman, but she rebuffs him.
EXT. STREET / ALLEYWAY – NIGHT
The young stud and his friends try to rape the woman but she turns out to be a demon in disguise and kills them all.
ACT 1:
INT. MUSEUM – DAY
We meet Julia Lockhart, an archaeologist, chatting with a close colleague about her recent failed archaeological dig. Her boss, Vincent, summons her to his office.
INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – DAY
Vincent chastises Julia for the money wasted on the dig, which was organised based on her instincts and research, then sends her away contemptuously.
INT. JULIA’S OFFICE AT THE MUSEUM – DAY
Julia catalogues a few uninteresting items (bones, etc) collected from the dig, fuming at her mistreatment by her boss.
Her friend / colleague suggests they grab a drink but she has undefined, mysterious “plans” for the evening.
EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY
Detective Brendan White investigates the scene of the young studs’ deaths as his team collects evidence. He has a prosthetic arm.
One of his colleagues urges him to return to the station about a development in another case.
INT. POLICE CAR – DAY
En-route, Detective White glances at a headline at a newsstand: “Mirage at Large”, and scowls.
INT. POLICE STATION HOLDING CELL – DAY
Detective White interviews a criminal, Adrian Morris, after a human-trafficking bust. White knows Morris as a brutal psychopath, but now Morris is sobbing remorsefully and confessing after being captured by a mysterious figure he calls “The Mirage”.
INT. POLICE STATION OFFICE – DAY
White confers with colleagues about Morris’s apparent conversion and confession as a result of his encounter with the Mirage.
He interviews one of the trafficking victims who saw the Mirage as he intercepted the truck carrying the abductees, but the information is sketchy.
They look at Morris’s dash cam footage, revealing a dark and powerful figure with a face hidden in heat haze.
EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
Julia leaves the museum. As she climbs into a taxi she notices someone stalking her from the shadows.
INT. TAXI – NIGHT
Julia arrives at a bar.
INT. BAR
Julia has a drink, alone, aimless, unclear why she is there.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT
The stalker watches her through the window.
INT. BAR – NIGHT
Julia chats briefly with the bar tender. He appears to notice someone outside in the shadows, but dismisses it.
EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT
Julia exits the bar, sees the stalker and hurries away. The stalker follows.
INT. MULTI-LEVEL CAR PARK – NIGHT
The stalker accosts her and asks her about “The Blade”. She doesn’t know what he is talking about. The barman intervenes and the stalker reveals itself as a powerful demon.
The barman fights it off, ramming it into a concrete pylon, and they flee to safety.
ACT 2:
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Having fled to safety, Julia asks the barman about the demon and about himself. He dismisses her questions and departs.
EXT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The barman (David) collects the mail and then enters the house, stepping smoothly, ghostlike, THROUGH the front door.
INT. MADELEINE’S BEDROOM – DAY
We meet Madeleine, 85. David reveals his encounter with the demon, clearly not the first he has encountered.
EXT. JULIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Julia glances about, furtive, anxious, then unlocks her front door and enters.
A figure watches her from the shadows. It is David. He vanishes and appears …
INT. JULIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
… beside Julia in her living room – but he is invisible to her. He watches her as she moves about the house.
He is shocked when she reveals hand-drawn pictures of the demon they just encountered, along with many others, and of himself.
ACT 3:
Julia is terrified as David reveals himself, materialising before her. He asks about the pictures which she says she drew – based on images in her dreams.
She asks for his help to understand but he refuses, saying to forget about him, then vanishes again.
INT. MULTI-LEVEL CAR PARK – DAY
David returns to the scene of the demon attack and watches the fight he had with the demon as though looking back through time.
He looks closely where the demon made contact with the pylon and collects something in a vial, then vanishes again.
INT. MADELEINE’S KITCHEN – DAY
David materialises beside Madeleine, who is unfazed by his sudden appearance.
He shows her the vial and she crosses her fingers for luck.
INT. MADELEINE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
David sinks into the floor, passing through the floorboards …
INT. GROUND – DAY
David passes through the soil, rock, etc, descending into …
INT. UNDERGROUND LAB – DAY
David descends from the ceiling and lands nimbly on the floor.
He puts the contents of the vial through various processes – chemicals, arcane substances, artefacts – but he is disappointed with the result.
INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – DAY
David reports back to Madeleine the “negative” result. She shares his disappointment.
They see a press conference on TV of Brendan White discussing the Mirage and the mysterious case of the young men killed in the alleyway.
ACT 4:
EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY
David investigates the deaths of the young men. He looks back through time again to see the demon woman kill them.
David follows the “image” of her as she flees the scene.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
David follows the demon woman’s image through the streets to a railway station.
INT. RAILWAY STATION – DAY
David follows the demon’s image as it boards a train, then he floats along the subway tunnel (currently empty of trains) until she disembarks at another station.
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
David watches her image as it enters a house then he vanishes.
INT. DEMON WOMAN’S HOUSE – DAY
David materialises inside the house and lets his mystical sight return to the present. Suddenly the demon woman, now in the flesh, appears and attacks him.
They fight. He is momentarily disoriented by her powers and she flees out of the house.
EXT. STREETS – DAY
The demon woman flees and finds two policemen, feigning needing their protection from David. Then she kills them, framing David for their murder – a bystander catches him on camera, kneeling over the bodies.
INT. DEMON WOMAN’S HOUSE – DAY
David collects something in the vial that he used before, then vanishes.
INT. UNDERGROUND LAB – DAY
David processes the vial again, and is again disappointed with the negative result.
EXT. ROCKY LANDSCAPE – NIGHT
David sits on a rocky outcrop, gazing at the starry sky, deep in thought.
His gaze shifts to the earth in the night sky and we realise he is on the moon.
EXT. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON
Scattered across the rocky landscape are numerous corpses, dressed in a range of garb both ancient and modern. They are dusty but otherwise perfectly preserved in the vacuum of space.
INT. MORGUE – DAY
Brendan White stands by as the partners of the two policemen identify their bodies.
Stone-faced, he watches the online video of the Mirage at their murder scene.
Consumed with rage, he departs.
ACT 5:
INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
David and Madeleine discuss the recent demon attacks. He says they seem to be gathering again.
Madeleine encourages David to keep searching for the demon he seeks.
EXT. STREETS NEAR MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Julia arrives at David’s house and tries to photograph him through the window. He sees her and accosts her, then teleports her inside.
But three demons have followed her.
INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
David battles the three demons as they try to kill Julia and Madeleine.
Some of his memories return and he discovers a new power – his voice can harm the demons and they flee.
INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Julia, Madeleine and David recover in the aftermath of the battle. Julia asks who David is but he refuses to answer and departs to track the demons, hoping to find who sent them.
EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
Julia’s boss Vincent departs the museum.
Something stalks him from the shadows: it is the three demons David fought, all wounded.
They report to Vincent, kneeling before him!
EXT. CITY – NIGHT
David tracks the “residues” of the demons through the streets, across roof tops etc where they have travelled.
EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT
Vincent reveals an amulet and waves it over the demons kneeling before him.
EXT. CITY – NIGHT
The residues of the demons dissolve – David can no longer track them!
INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT
Detective White slaps a hazy photograph of the Mirage onto a wall, along with an array of evidence, events and question marks.
He is determined to find the Mirage!
INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
David returns home to Julia and Madeleine. They pack some things and go on the run, no longer safe at Madeleine’s house.
David asks Julia when the dreams about the demons began.
They are a team now.
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