• Andrea Higgins

    Member
    December 3, 2021 at 3:57 pm

    JOHN AND NICK – 2nd Draft

    NEW LOGLINE

    A crooked Cardinal attempt to thwart a pious Priest who plans to expose him.

    NEW ESSENCE

    Two men of the cloth: one will hide behind his faith’s the tenants and protections to protect himself; the other will violate the tenants and protections for the moral high ground — even if it leads to his defrocking, or his death.

    NEW SCENE

    FADE IN

    INT. CHURCH NAVE – NIGHT

    NICK (50), a Cardinal, stands at the back of the church. He speaks MOS, and offers gestures of comfort to PARISHONERS as they exit.

    INT. CHOIR LOFT – NIGHT

    JOHN (30), a Priest, stands in the shadows, observing as the Cardinal bestows special attention to one YOUNG BOY.

    The boy leaves with his PARENTS and Cardinal Nick proceeds down the center aisle. He exits toward an anteroom behind the alter.

    Father John climbs down the stairs to the

    NAVE

    and moves in the shadows along the side wall, beneath the stations of the cross.

    He pauses at the offertory candles. The light issuing from the red glass candle holders casts a devilish glow across his face — and his clerical collar.

    He lights a candle and makes the sign of the cross.

    At the sound of a HEAVY DOOR CLOSING and FOOTSTEPS in the anteroom, John slips into an alcove behind a statue of St. Nicholas (patron saint of children).

    NICK, Cardinal’s robes now removed, reenters the nave. As he passes the offertory, he too pauses — to light a cigar.

    As he draws on the cigar, he glances up at his patron saint. Has he caught sight of the cassock-clad figure crouching behind?

    Perhaps not, for he walks casually toward the alter, still decorated from the Bishop’s funeral that ended just moments ago: a large portrait of the Bishop surrounded by flowers.

    Nick flicks some ashes, which land on a petal of one of the lilies.

    He then turns, strides up the center aisle, and exists through the front doors of the church.

    John emerges from his hiding spot. He approaches the alter, takes a handkerchief from his pocket, and gently removes the ashes from the lily.

    INT. SACRISTRY – NIGHT

    John slips silently into the room. He stands before the tabernacle, genuflects and makes the sign of the cross.

    INT. NAVE – NIGHT

    Nick renters, tossing the butt of his cigar out the door. He pulls out a key ring, and begins locking up, but stops short when he notices a light issuing from the anteroom.

    INT. SACRISTRY – NIGHT

    John sits behind the desk.

    NICK (O.S.)

    So, it is you, who has been stealing from the donation box.

    John slips something under the robes of his cassock as Nick crosses the threshold into the room.

    NICK

    Always playing the innocent. Always so loyal to the Bishop. And here you are breaking and entering.

    JOHN

    Not breaking. The door was unlocked.

    NICK

    You tell that to the police when they arrive. I’ve already called them.

    JOHN

    That’s daring of you.

    NICK

    Not at all. It’s my job to tend to the souls of my flock. Sometimes the best way to do that is to help someone, even a misguided Priest, face up to their mistakes.

    JOHN

    I couldn’t agree more. I’ll stand by your side when you confess.

    Nick appears unsettled. He glances nervously toward the tabernacle, then back at John.

    NICK

    He was your mentor. In your grief you are confused.

    JOHN

    As you like to say, “Not at all.”

    The edge in John’s voice inflames Nick’s temper. He’s across the room in three strides and smashes a fist down on the desktop.

    NICK

    You will show me respect.

    John jumps to his feet, leaning in, nose-to-nose with Nick.

    JOHN

    Not on your life.

    NICK

    I’ll see you defrocked.

    JOHN

    I’ll meet you in the de-robing room. I hear it’s one of your favorite spots.

    This rattles Nick — his mouth opens but no words issue forth.

    JOHN

    Of course, I know that I’m not really your type.

    With one violent sweep of his arms, Nick clears the desktop. Items crash to the floor and scatter.

    NICK

    You don’t know anything.

    Nick circles the desk. John mirrors his actions to keep the desk between them.

    JOHN

    I know everything. Hearing the confessions of children who thought it was their fault.

    Nick, in a rage, rips a crucifix from the wall. His hand tightens around one end as he holds it out like a sword.

    JOHN

    Poisoning the Bishop after he threatened to come forward. And in such fashion. The wine, so he would die in front of the congregation.

    Nick swings the crucifix at John but misses. He swings again, but John is out the door.

    INT. NAVE – NIGHT

    John is halfway up the aisle. Nick stops in front of the alter. His voice is icily cold.

    NICK

    Who do you think taught me?

    John whirls around and stares at him.

    JOHN

    The Bishop.

    Nick looks stunned.

    JOHN

    He confessed.

    John pulls a stack of photos secured with a red ribbon, out from beneath his cassock.

    JOHN

    And he told me to look in the tabernacle for the photos.

    SIRENS blare outside and flashing red and blue police lights illuminate the nave.

    Nick emotes a GUTTERAL SCREAM as he raises the crucifix above his head and charges up the aisle toward John.

    CUT TO BLACK.

  • Patrick Malone

    Member
    December 8, 2021 at 7:17 pm

    Cheryl, in lesson 9 Hal said, You’ll find the two-part critique videos on the forums.

    I cannot find these. Can you direct me to them?

    Thanks, Patrick

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