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Day 10 Assignment
Posted by cheryl croasmun on November 15, 2021 at 6:55 amReply to post your assignment.
Patrick Malone replied 3 years, 5 months ago 3 Members · 2 Replies -
2 Replies
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JOHN AND NICK – 2nd Draft
NEW LOGLINE
A crooked Cardinal attempt to thwart a pious Priest who plans to expose him.
NEW ESSENCE
Two men of the cloth: one will hide behind his faith’s the tenants and protections to protect himself; the other will violate the tenants and protections for the moral high ground — even if it leads to his defrocking, or his death.
NEW SCENE
FADE IN
INT. CHURCH NAVE – NIGHT
NICK (50), a Cardinal, stands at the back of the church. He speaks MOS, and offers gestures of comfort to PARISHONERS as they exit.
INT. CHOIR LOFT – NIGHT
JOHN (30), a Priest, stands in the shadows, observing as the Cardinal bestows special attention to one YOUNG BOY.
The boy leaves with his PARENTS and Cardinal Nick proceeds down the center aisle. He exits toward an anteroom behind the alter.
Father John climbs down the stairs to the
NAVE
and moves in the shadows along the side wall, beneath the stations of the cross.
He pauses at the offertory candles. The light issuing from the red glass candle holders casts a devilish glow across his face — and his clerical collar.
He lights a candle and makes the sign of the cross.
At the sound of a HEAVY DOOR CLOSING and FOOTSTEPS in the anteroom, John slips into an alcove behind a statue of St. Nicholas (patron saint of children).
NICK, Cardinal’s robes now removed, reenters the nave. As he passes the offertory, he too pauses — to light a cigar.
As he draws on the cigar, he glances up at his patron saint. Has he caught sight of the cassock-clad figure crouching behind?
Perhaps not, for he walks casually toward the alter, still decorated from the Bishop’s funeral that ended just moments ago: a large portrait of the Bishop surrounded by flowers.
Nick flicks some ashes, which land on a petal of one of the lilies.
He then turns, strides up the center aisle, and exists through the front doors of the church.
John emerges from his hiding spot. He approaches the alter, takes a handkerchief from his pocket, and gently removes the ashes from the lily.
INT. SACRISTRY – NIGHT
John slips silently into the room. He stands before the tabernacle, genuflects and makes the sign of the cross.
INT. NAVE – NIGHT
Nick renters, tossing the butt of his cigar out the door. He pulls out a key ring, and begins locking up, but stops short when he notices a light issuing from the anteroom.
INT. SACRISTRY – NIGHT
John sits behind the desk.
NICK (O.S.)
So, it is you, who has been stealing from the donation box.
John slips something under the robes of his cassock as Nick crosses the threshold into the room.
NICK
Always playing the innocent. Always so loyal to the Bishop. And here you are breaking and entering.
JOHN
Not breaking. The door was unlocked.
NICK
You tell that to the police when they arrive. I’ve already called them.
JOHN
That’s daring of you.
NICK
Not at all. It’s my job to tend to the souls of my flock. Sometimes the best way to do that is to help someone, even a misguided Priest, face up to their mistakes.
JOHN
I couldn’t agree more. I’ll stand by your side when you confess.
Nick appears unsettled. He glances nervously toward the tabernacle, then back at John.
NICK
He was your mentor. In your grief you are confused.
JOHN
As you like to say, “Not at all.”
The edge in John’s voice inflames Nick’s temper. He’s across the room in three strides and smashes a fist down on the desktop.
NICK
You will show me respect.
John jumps to his feet, leaning in, nose-to-nose with Nick.
JOHN
Not on your life.
NICK
I’ll see you defrocked.
JOHN
I’ll meet you in the de-robing room. I hear it’s one of your favorite spots.
This rattles Nick — his mouth opens but no words issue forth.
JOHN
Of course, I know that I’m not really your type.
With one violent sweep of his arms, Nick clears the desktop. Items crash to the floor and scatter.
NICK
You don’t know anything.
Nick circles the desk. John mirrors his actions to keep the desk between them.
JOHN
I know everything. Hearing the confessions of children who thought it was their fault.
Nick, in a rage, rips a crucifix from the wall. His hand tightens around one end as he holds it out like a sword.
JOHN
Poisoning the Bishop after he threatened to come forward. And in such fashion. The wine, so he would die in front of the congregation.
Nick swings the crucifix at John but misses. He swings again, but John is out the door.
INT. NAVE – NIGHT
John is halfway up the aisle. Nick stops in front of the alter. His voice is icily cold.
NICK
Who do you think taught me?
John whirls around and stares at him.
JOHN
The Bishop.
Nick looks stunned.
JOHN
He confessed.
John pulls a stack of photos secured with a red ribbon, out from beneath his cassock.
JOHN
And he told me to look in the tabernacle for the photos.
SIRENS blare outside and flashing red and blue police lights illuminate the nave.
Nick emotes a GUTTERAL SCREAM as he raises the crucifix above his head and charges up the aisle toward John.
CUT TO BLACK.
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Cheryl, in lesson 9 Hal said, You’ll find the two-part critique videos on the forums.
I cannot find these. Can you direct me to them?
Thanks, Patrick
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