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Day 10 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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12 Replies
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Ira Drower’s comments on Talladega Nights.
The review of Talladega Nights was very inciteful. What I learned from this lesson was how much humor and types of humor can be packed into one film. I think this movie touched them all. It didn’t just touch them it ran them over doing 120 mph. Will Ferrell movies tend to drag out like an overlong SNL skit but this one had me laughing from beginning to end. The incongruent nature of the comedy plays out so well in this film. If comedy is measured by the distance between how far the character falls from high to low I think Talladega Nights reached stratospheric heights.
The analysis was helpful in pointing out the set-up and punch-line along with running gags and toppers. I can only hope I write comedy like this.
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Brad’s comments on Talladega Nights:
Seeing the comedic scenes broken down like that was super helpful — and humbling. It made me realize just how dense and consistent the comedic elements need to be to carry a screenplay from start to finish. I’m inspired!
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Amanda Avalon’s comments.
Super helpful to see an example how the scenes are broken down! Thank you.
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Thank yolu for providing this example. Greatly appreciate it.
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I do not see the forum to post my assignment for day 11.
Anthony Ward
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Denice’s Favorite Comedy
EXT. SMALL CALIFORNIA BOAT DOCK – DAY
JAKE LUCK, saunters along a near-empty boardwalk as if he belongs. Handsome, scruffy, in that bad-boy kind of way.
He stops at a cabin cruiser with the name “WILD ANIMAL.” Looks around. Lifts a foot to step aboard.
The boat moves. Jake’s foot plunges toward the water. Terrified, he throws himself onboard. Hits the deck with a thud.
JAKE
Shit. That was close.
He winces, hobbles toward the cabin door. Locked. Moves to the side of the boat. Looks around. Puts both feet through a half-open window. Wiggles to push through.
INT. BOAT BATHROOM – DAY – CONTINUOUS
One shoe steps on flush button of the toilet. The other in the toilet. Water floods the bowl.
Jake yells. Leaps to the floor. Rips off his wet shoe and sock. Dries the foot with a luxurious towel. Throws it around his neck.
He removes the other sock, shoe. Hurries up stairs to the cabin.
INT. CABIN – DAY
Everything is pink.
Jake searches the drawers. Pockets the coins he finds. Scarfs a candy bar. Discovers a set of keys.
EXT. BOAT DOCK – DAY
DAISY DOLLOP sees Jake through the cabin door window. Model perfect in a skimpy dress.
She climbs aboard with her black Newfoundland, BEAR, 176 pounds of massive fur-covered dog.
DAISY
Hello? Can you assist me?
INT. CABIN – DAY
Jake assesses Daisy. Opens the cabin door with a flourish.
JAKE
How can I help you?
She offers her hand. Bear’s tail wags, eyes friendly.
DAISY
I’m Daisy, this is Bear.
JAKE
Jake. I don’t allow animals –
DAISY
Please. He’s very well trained. Bear, sit.
Bear obeys. Slobbers on Jake’s foot.
He yanks off the towel around his neck. Wipes the slobber. Throws it on the deck.
Daisy gasps.
DAISY
That’s a three-hundred-dollar towel.
JAKE
With dog slobber. What do you want?
She points toward the ocean.
DAISY
If I’m not on that yacht before it leaves, I’ll miss the biggest modeling break of my career. It will only take a few minutes. I’ll pay you fifty dollars.
He holds out his hand. She gives him the money.
Daisy struts into the cabin.
INT. CABIN – DAY
She grins. Sits in the Captain’s chair.
DAISY
Nice boat. Especially the color.
JAKE
Er, pink cuts down on the water’s reflection.
DAISY
Can I start it?
JAKE
Know anything about boats?
DAISY
Driven my daddy’s.
He takes a breath of relief.
JAKE
When I undo the rope, take her out. Slow and easy.
BOAT DECK
Jake walks to the rope, unties it.
The rope automatically retracts into its hole. A song blares. Something like, “PHYSICAL”.
He can’t find an ‘off’ button.
CABIN
Daisy laughs. Pushes the throttle. The boat glides forward.
DECK
Waves splash against the boat. Jake grabs his stomach. Wobbles to the edge. Boat clears dock. Jake upchucks into the beautiful wake.
CABIN
Bear’s head lolls in Daisy’s lap. Hits her arm. Throttle moves to high.
DECK
Jake flips out of the boat. Screams.
Daisy turns the boat around.
Jake flails in the water.
JAKE
Man overboard. Help.
Jake disappears underwater.
Bear jumps out of the boat. Dives underwater. Pulls a sputtering, coughing Jake to the surface.
Daisy pulls the boat alongside. Stops. Throws a life preserver to Jake. Helps him into the boat.
He shakes. Wipes his face with the towel. Skin turns pink.
DAISY
Wow, you match the cabin. Maybe you should have used a clean towel. Help me with Bear.
They get the dog onboard. He shakes water on Jake.
Daisy hugs Bear.
DAISY
You are such a brave boy.
Jake glares at the dog. He’d be lucky for a hug from that body.
He pulls the change out of a jean pocket. Throws it in the sea.
JAKE
(under his breath)
I wish to find dry clothes.
He rips off his shirt.
DAISY
Are you okay? I’ve never seen skin that color.
He disappears into the cabin and downstairs.
DAISY
Um, guess I’ll restart the boat.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
A naked Jake uses the bedspread as a towel. He scratches as if he’ll never stop itching.
He paws through drawers. Sex toys and sheer panties lay neatly folded. He sighs.
Jake closes his eyes in despair when he opens the closet door.
INT. CABIN – DAY
Jake climbs into the cabin – a hairy model for bad taste in cat slippers, short robe, a furry, shocking pink bikini.
Daisy bursts out laughing.
JAKE
My, aunt owns the boat.
DAISY
Of course she does.
Bear wags his tail. Rubs his wet fur against Jake. Jake jumps away. Itches.
Clouds blow over the cruiser. Wind churns the water. Rain splats the deck.
Jake slams the cabin doors shut.
JAKE
Take the boat back.
She eyes the yacht. Shoves money into his hands.
DAISY
Please, take two hundred dollars. It’s all I have.
She stuffs the money in his hand.
His robe has no pockets. He shoves the money in his bikini.
A low moaning fills the cabin.
Jake locates the sound coming from a large drawer. He and Daisy look at each other.
DAISY
Your boat, Captain.
JAKE
Thief. I’m a thief.
Daisy’s eyes narrow. She rips the money from his bikini.
DAISY
Not anymore.
Scratches inside the drawer. Jake slides it out slowly.
A huge cat leaps on Jake. He hollers as claws dig in.
Cat spots tail-wagging Bear. Hisses. Springs to the control panel.
Jake lunges for the cat. Misses. Falls on the throttle.
Boat glides toward a NOW-VISIBLE reef.
DAISY
Move, I can’t see.
She shoves Jake to the floor.
Cat disappears into its drawer, down a hole.
Bear barks.
Daisy shrieks. Boat grinds over rock poking out of the water.
Jake slides backward, hits the door. Daisy and Bear land on him.
LATER
EXT. OCEAN – DAY
Yacht disappears around a promontory in the distance.
Daisy swims in the water. Hand holds the life preserver.
Bear pulls the life preserver toward shore. Sex toys are his harness and rope.
Jake’s knees straddle the life preserver. Robe flies in the wind. He holds a wiggling, wet towel in the life preserver’s hole between his legs.
The cat growls, its head poking out a slit in the towel.
DAISY
You ruined my big chance.
JAKE
I get wet, I’m suing.
DAISY
Who, God?
JAKE
I can’t help I’m allergic to water.
DAISY
Maybe being baptized will help.
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Loved your descriptions. They were crisp and effective. I also got a kick out of the pink skin matching the boat and allergic to water. Good use of comedic situations. The forced union of incompatibles, embarrassment, and in the end comedic tragedy. Overall, I liked the story and how you incorporated the important elements of our lessons.
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Thanks, Ira! I’m sorry I haven’t answered sooner. I’ve had trouble finding these lessons. I appreciate your time and comments. I will certainly read yours tonight! Thank you, again.
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I’d be happy to critique anyone’s favorite comedy.
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I just posted mine. And reviewed yours. I kept looking for a Day 11 forum to post to but I guess this will do. Great job by the way on your favorite comedy.
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Ira Drower’s Comedy Classic. This is actually based on a true story. The names reflect the real person. Sometimes life shows us comedy and we don’t realize it until many years later.
PS – I no longer drink alcohol.
INT. 1967 DODGE STATION WAGON – NIGHT
1975 2:00 AM
The radio blasts an Edgar Winters song, Free Ride as a twenty year old skinny lad with long black hair, faded blue jeans, and a roach smoldering in the ash tray cruises down the highway singing along.
IRA
“…Come on and take a free ride, (falsetto) Free Ride” Come on and take it by my si..” Shit!
The wagon begins to shudder and shake, sputtering and throbbing in agony as the engine shuts down. IRA deftly steers the metal beast to the side of the road.
IRA (CONT’D)
Fuck. Out of gas, again. Third time this month.
IRA puts on the flashers and exits the vehicle.
IRA (CONT’D)
Have to call the parental unit for assistance. Won’t he be pleased? First things first. Find a pay phone.
IRA stumbles across the grassy berm toward a long wooden fence creating a barrier between the backyards of the homes next to the highway. Climbing the fence IRA flips over and gets his belt stuck on a wooden board.
IRA (CONT’D)
Great. So damn tight I can’t loosen it.
EXT. BACKYARD – NIGHT
IRA rocks back and forth until the board breaks emitting a loud crack. IRA tumbles to the ground as a dog barks and porch lights illuminate the yard.
IRA
Shit.
Scrambling to his feet, IRA runs toward the gate dividing two bungalows and receives a facefull of orange and black streamers and hanging Halloween decorations. Pushing the gate open, flailing his arms a witch hanging from a pole cackles. Her eyes flash orange. IRA knocks the head off, stepping on ghouls and gourds stuck in the ground before slipping on the wet grass and landing on a pumpkin.
IRA (CONT’D)
What the fuck.
EXT. FRONT YARD – NIGHT
IRA surveys the scene. Broken Halloween decorations scattered around the yard, streamers hanging from his neck, and pumpkin up his ass. A small poodle walks up to IRA and licks his hand. The plastic head of a witch lays nearby, eyes still flashing.
IRA
Hello. I think I just killed the wicked witch of the west. We are safe now.
IRA clambers up slowly, picking pumpkin bits from his backside. He ties an orange streamer to the poodle.
IRA (CONT’D)
Let’s go. We have to find a phone. I’m assuming by the curly fur you are French. Eh, Pierre?
PIERRE
Ruff
Pierre pees on the remnants of a Halloween decoration and IRA joins him. They head down the darkened street together.
IRA (SINGING)
“Ding, dong the witch is dead…”
EXT. SIDE STREET – CONTINUOUS
IRA and Pierre reach a main thoroughfare and walk toward a bright area with fluorescent lights illuminating a business.
IRA
Looks like civilization up yonder. Whoa you see this?
IRA gazes into the window of Rolling Stone Record store at a display of albums. Pierre looks into the window.
IRA (CONT’D)
They have the new Foghat album on sale. Cool. And see, Supertramp and Loverboy are playing at Alpine Valley next week. We’re there.
Pierre looks up at IRA and cocks his head.
IRA (CONT’D)
Well, I’m going with Becky. You seem more like an Frank Zappa guy. He has curly hair too.
Continuing down the street IRA and Pierre atop to look in the window of a Levi’s Outlet.
IRA (CONT’D)
Nice bell bottoms. I had Elephant bells once. Kept tripping on them as I walked. I like them when the flair is not overly prominent. Prominent.
Pierre lays down on the sidewalk and begins to lick himself. A police car pulls up along side IRA. Two officers are in the car. The window rolls down.
OFFICER JOYCE
Late night walk with your dog?
IRA
You have a flair for the obvious. Keep it up and you’ll make detective in no time.
Officer Tallwitz at the wheel begins to chuckle. Looking over Officer Joyce’s shoulder he checks out IRA and dog still licking himself.
OFFICER TALLWITZ
This guy is hammered. Look at him swaying. He could use the fresh air, let’s go.
OFFICER JOYCE
Hold on. I’m not done with him yet. You know I should write up your dog for public indecency.
IRA
He is just doing what dogs do.
OFFICER JOYCE
Yeah, sometimes I wish I could do that.
IRA picks up Pierre pushing his belly near Officer Joyce’s face.
IRA
Maybe if you ask him nicely he’ll let you.
Office Tallwitz laughs loud and long as Officer Joyce rolls up his window. The police drive away with Tallwitz shaking from laughter. IRA puts Pierre down.
IRA (CONT’D)
Must not be a dog person. Must be a cat-person.
PIERRE
Ruff.
IRA
Let us continue to yon Dunkin’ Donuts for a pay phone and perhaps a donut. Probably why cops were nearby.
IRA checks his wallet. Two singles.
IRA (CONT’D)
Does the deer have a little dough?
PIERRE
Ruff
IRA
You’re right. Two bucks. Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk.
INT. DUNKIN’ DONUTS – NIGHT
IRA and Pierre walk into the store. IRA sits at the counter. The place is empty except for a pudgy woman, thirties, long auburn hair tucked into a paper cap standing behind the counter. The top button on her uniform straining to contain her large breasts. Name tag displays, Claire. IRA stares at her chest.
IRA
One peanut crunch, one cup of water for my companion and change for the phone.
CLAIRE
No animals allowed. Health code. But you are kind of cute.
IRA
Why, thank you.
CLAIRE
I was talking to the dog. The dog can stay. What’s his name?
IRA
Pierre.
Claire gives IRA four quarters for a dollar bill and scratches Pierre’s head. Pierre licks Claire’s hand.
CLAIRE
Make your call and I’ll get your donut.
IRA and Pierre walk to the pay phone in the back of the store.
IRA
Dad, yeah it’s me. No I don’t know what time it is. I need you to pick me up. No, no accident. Yeah, out of gas. Not sure where.
IRA looks up and shouts at Claire.
IRA (CONT’D)
What’s the address here, Claire?
CLAIRE
6424 Dempster.
IRA
6424 Dempster. Yeah, I’ll hang tight. Pierre is keeping me company.
IRA heads back to the counter. He takes the cup of water and places it down for Pierre. Pierre looks up at IRA.
IRA (CONT’D)
I didn’t forget you.
IRA breaks off a piece of donut and feeds it to Pierre. Then another piece, another.
IRA (CONT’D)
You ate the whole damn thing.
Pierre wags his tail and laps up the water from the cup.
IRA (CONT’D)
I’m going to wait here for my ride, OK?
Picking up Pierre, Claire scratches his head once more and IRA slumps into a booth. Fifteen minutes pass. A faded grey Toyota Corolla pulls into the parking lot. DAD, a short stocky man in an overcoat, slacks, untied shoes walks in. Claire looks up.
CLAIRE
He’s in the corner.
DAD
How many times do I have to tell you to keep gas in that thing.
IRA
I put five dollars in last week.
DAD
But you drive it almost every day. The gas gauge is broken. You need to keep half a tank in there all the time.
IRA
How am I supposed to know if I have half a tank if the gauge shows that all the time?
DAD
Where did you get the dog?
IRA
Dad, this is Pierre. Pierre this is Dad. He knows the neighborhood and found this place.
DAD pets Pierre and checks his dog tag. His name is Tank and he lives down the block. We can stop by and return him to his owner. Now, where is the car?
IRA (CONT’D)
Um, I’m not sure. On the side of the road.
DAD
What road?
Not waiting for an answer DAD heads to the counter.
DAD (CONT’D)
One large coffee black.
IRA
And a peanut crunch donut for Pierre.
DAD
Make it two.
DAD pays for the coffee and donuts and watches it all disappear quickly between IRA and Pierre.
DAD (CONT’D)
First things first. Let’s return Pierre.
The three head towards the door. Picking up Pierre for one last scratch as they pass Claire.
IRA
My compliments to the Breast Maker, I mean Donut Maker.
DAD slugs IRA in the arm.
DAD
Get in the car.
EXT. DEMPSTER STREET – NIGHT
The three vagabonds head east toward an address known only to DAD. IRA squints while trying to read the tag around Pierre’s collar.
EXT. KEATING STREET – CONTINUOUS
As they approach a home a police car is parked in front with Officers Tallwitz and Joyce speaking to an older man in bathrobe and slippers.
OFFICER TALLWITZ
Now calm down sir. It’s just a few decorations.
HOMEOWNER
Screw the decorations. My dog is missing.
OFFICER TALLWITZ
I’ll grab a missing pet form from the car.
Officer Tallowitz enters the squad car and starts leafing through a folder.
OFFICER JOYCE
Did you see anyone?
HOMEOWNER
No. Like I said…
The Toyota stops behind the squad car. DAD, IRA, and Pierre exit.
IRA
Excuse me? Pierre, is this your owner?
HOMEOWNER
Tank! Come here boy. His name is Tank.
Pierre runs to the homeowner, tail wagging.
PIERRE
Ruff.
IRA
I found Pierre on the street with this streamer attached to him. Looks like some kids trashed your yard.
HOMEOWNER
His name is Tank. Thanks for bringing him back.
IRA
Oh, I see the dog-hating police are here. He was very disrespectful to Pierre.
OFFICER JOYCE
I love dogs. Honestly.
IRA
Pierre didn’t think so. Probably owns a cat.
DAD slaps IRA on the shoulder. The homeowner glares at Officer Joyce.
HOMEOWNER
I won’t be needing you two anymore. Tank. Yard.
Officer Joyce slowly walks to the squad car. Tank runs into the back yard. Officer Tallwitz turns off the flashing lights and pulls out laughing at Officer Joyce.
IRA
May I just say, Pierre was a very good dog while in my care.
HOMEOWNER
Again. His name is Tank.
IRA
Au revoir, Pierre.
INT. TOYOTA – NIGHT
DAD grabs IRA by the arm and hastens to the Toyota.
DAD
Now, where is the car?
IRA
It’s right here.
DAD punches IRA in the arm.
DAD
The station wagon you jerk.
DAD checks out the homeowner’s yard. Decorations, and pumpkin pieces cover the yard with streamers blowing in the trees. Then he looks at a wet spot on the back of IRA’s pants.
DAD (CONT’D)
I have an idea.
DAD drives around the block and onto the on-ramp for Highway I-94. Driving about two minutes they locate the station wagon. DAD pulls over.
IRA
Wow, that was quick. I never find it in less than an hour.
DAD grabs the gas can from the trunk leaning to his right from the weight. He looks across the grassy area toward a broken fence and shakes his head. IRA opens the wagon’s door but hesitates and stares at something on the windshield.
DAD
Let me guess. You go a ticket.
DAD starts pouring the gas in the station wagon as IRA yanks the ticket from the windshield.
IRA
Son of a bitch. A parking ticket.
DAD
What did you expect. You parked on the side of a highway.
IRA
It’s not like there’s a parking meter here I can put a quarter in.
DAD
You can also pay me for the gas can. I couldn’t find mine in the basement.
IRA
Oh, it’s in the back of the station wagon.
IRA rambles to the back of the car and opens the hatch. A faded red gas container is strapped to the side. DAD finishes pouring the gas and sets the container down.
IRA (CONT’D)
And check it out. There’s gas in it.
IRA unstraps the container and pours the contents into the car.
IRA (CONT’D)
Sweet. I’ll bet there’s enough in there now for the rest of the week.
DAD shakes his head and returns to the Toyota.
DAD
You good to drive?
IRA
Yeah. That coffee did the trick. See you at home.
INT. BEDROOM – DAY
Loud snores emanate from the bedroom as IRA half hangs off the bed. A plate of food lays on the floor. Drool coats the pillow.
MOM
IRA, Your friend Dennis is on the phone.
IRA
I got it! Yo, Fitz. What’s up? Some fun last nigh, eh? Yeah, I can hang for a while. Have to work tonight though. Lets get a brewski…I work in a liquor store. No one will notice.
IRA throws his jeans in a pile and grabs a folded pair from a different pile on top[ of the dresser.
LWEIS
Mom. Going out for a few. I’ll be back for dinner.
MOM
Ok. Say hi to Dennis for me.
EXT. STREET – DAY
IRA walks toward the wagon as his father and a stranger shake hands. DAD pockets some money and turns to greet IRA.
DAD
Here you go, son.
DAD hands IRA a set of license plates and a gas can.
DAD (CONT’D)
You can pay me for the can when you cash your paycheck later.
The station wagon slowly pulls out of the front of the house with the stranger driving.
IRA
You sold the beast? How am I supposed to get to work?
DAD
Take the bus. Or bike. Or walk.
DAD struts toward the house whistling as IRA watches his beloved ride disappear down the street.
Moral of the story: Sometimes your tank is half-full, some-times its half-empty but most times life can be just plain, as Pierre might say, “Ruff.”
Don’t drink and drive.
The End
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Ira’s Feedback
You did a great job with the comedy plot of the incongruent pairing of Ira and the dog—a drunk and a poodle. I love the Halloween setting, the witch and song reference and “parental unit”. Ira’s wildly inappropriate responses to Officer Joyce and Claire are hilarious as is his sidetracked mission to find a phone. Didn’t expect Officer Joyce to want to write up a dog. Very funny. You have a super embarrassing situation with his Dad rescuing Ira. You could make more out of it. Ending with the comedic tragedy of his dad selling the car is a fitting end. You used the comedy situations and figures of speech, physical and prop humor well. Denice
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