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Day 10 Assignments
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Judith’s Trust Relationships – Lesson 9 – Trust/mistrust
What I’ve learned is paying attention to trust and distrust in relationships helps me develop scenes that go from good to bad giving the audience a good ride.
Make a list of the main characters.
Hero – Emily
Villain – Rachel
Red Herring – Kaylee
Trusted, but shouldn’t be – Rachel
Isn’t trusted, but should be – Eugene; Kaylee
EMILY/RACHEL
DISTRUST – Rachel called the moving company that would take Emily’s paintings to the art show and delayed their arrival.
DISTRUST – Rachel has returned Emily’s let’s be sister’s letters for ten years.
DISTRUST – Rachel shows up uninvited to the art show and causes a ruckus
TRUST – Rachel brings flowers for Emily at the show and wants to become sisters if Emily is willing which plays on Emily’s long time wishes.
TRUST – Rachel waits patiently while Emily decides to reunite or not.
MISTRUST – Rachel kills Kaylee and blames it on Emily. She is arrested and later released on bail.
TRUST – Rachel sympathizes with Emily about how wrongly she has been accused.
MISTRUST – Rachel calls the adoption agency and tells them that Emily is a drug addict.
TRUST – Rachel supports Emily when she thinks Eugene is having an affair.
DISTRUST – Rachel hires and actress to pretend she wants to invest in his research to make it look like Eugene is having an affair.
TRUST – Rachel tells Emily a Detective wants to talk with her on a certain day at a certain place.
MISTRUST – When Emily gets to the meet, the Detective doesn’t show are you sure you got the place right.
TRUST – Emily sees the picture of the detective in the paper that he has been killed and Rachel sympathizes with her.
MISTRUST – Emily discovers one of her paintings from the burned down art show in Rachel’s trunk.
MISTRUST – Emily confronts Rachel about the paintings, and she tries to kill her.
MISTRUST – Emily escapes from Rachel and finds out that Eugene was in a car accident.
MISTRUST – At the hospital Emily learns that Rachel caused the accident.
MISTRUST – Rachel kills Emily’s best friend Lynn when she tries to prevent her from kidnapping Kathy, the little girl Emily is adopting.
EMILY/KAYLEE
MISTRUST – Emily thinks Kaylee called the art movers to come later.
MISTRUST – Emily goes to confront her, and they fight. The fight is overheard by a neighbor.
TRUST – Kaylee supports her at the art show, and they make up.
EMILY/EUGENE
TRUST – Emily lovers her husband and is looking forward to adopting a child with him.
TRUST – Emily feels loved and supported by him at the art show.
TRUST – Eugene sticks up for her and says she is not a drug addict to the adoption agency.
MISTRUST – Eugene meets with a potential investor in his research who is mistaken for an affair by Emily.
TRUST – Eugene becomes suspicious of the woman when she doesn’t return his calls.
TRUST – Eugene discovers that she was an actress hired to play on his need for money on his research.
MISTRUST – Emily is upset when Eugene tells her he suspects Rachel is here for no good and encourages Emily to call her mom and find out if Rachel is legit.
MISTRUST – Emily calls mom and finds out that she and her sister were killed in a house fire, but Rachel is here, how can that be?
TRUST – Emily trusts that Eugene is on her side now and will confront Rachel.
How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
Emily and Rachel – gives Emily time to decide whether to make up or not
Stands by Emily see Eugene with another woman
Takes Emily to hospital loses her baby
Burns down the art gallery – steals one painting
Tries to kill her
Tries to kill Eugene
Kidnaps Kathy
Calls adoption agency and says Emily is a drug addict
What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?
With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Hero/Villain
Hero/Red Herring
Hero/Trusted but shouldn’t be:
Hero/Isn’t trusted, but should be:
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Michelle’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is: creating more complex characters (which will lead to more complex situations where it’s not always clear what the truth is), will help elevate suspense and mystery.
1. Make a list of the main characters.
Hero: Griffin
Villain: Adam
Red Herring Character: Griffin
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Ennis
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Hank2. With each character, ask these questions:
A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?Griffin: trustable
Adam: trustable
Ennis: trustable
Hank: untrustable
B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
Griffin: she appears trustable, but also doesn’t have alibi’s, has possible motives and know how to murder her colleagues.
Adam: doesn’t appear to have a motive early on and so you wouldn’t think it would be him. Only later do we understand his motives.
Ennis: He’s an older man and while he and Griffin get along, you wouldn’t expect him to cover for a serial killer.
Hank: prototypical egotistical surgeon
C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?
Griffin: hitting rock bottom after being fired and arrested.
Adam: being effected by the receiving the heart of a serial killer.
Ennis: Boyd saved his life when they were in the Army. His code of loyalty is greater than telling the truth.
Hank: He genuinely cares about his patients.
3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Hero / Villain: Griffin/AdamTRUST: Griffin is Adam’s cardiologist
TRUST: Adam tells Griffin how he owes his life to her.
DISTRUST: Adam’s behavior is changing. He fights with Mollie at his clinic appointment with Griffin.
Hero / Red Herring Character: Griffin
TRUST: Griffin has returned home to take care of her father after her mother’s death.
TRUST: She loves her job and taking care of patients.
DISTRUST: Griffin and Ann have a public fight, and clearly have a broken relationship.
DISTRUST: Griffin fights with Lillian about harassing the heart transplant surgeon. Lillian says she’s going to stop protecting Griffin and let the CEO possibly fire her.
DISTRUST: Early on, detectives narrow in on Griffin as a suspect, or at least that she knows more than what she says.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Griffin/Ennis
TRUST: Ennis received a Mayor’s Award for trying to save a girl who had been attacked by a serial killer.
DISTRUST: He talks about the importance of loyalty over doing what’s right.
DISTRUST: He admonishes Griffin for having turned in her best friend because it wasn’t something a loyal friend would do.
DISTRUST: Ennis takes Griffin to the spot where years before he tried to save the girl.
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Griffin/Hank
DISTRUST: Hank gets into it with Griffin about Griffin harassing the transplant surgeon.
DISTRUST: He gets upset that Griffin is going to be doing his cards consult
TRUST: He does Adam’s surgery for his appendicitis.
TRUST: He tells the detectives that Griffin is not the killer
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I’m learning to deepen my script writing by looking for and anticipating places where holes can be filled with more excitement and twists. This helps eliminate bland dialogue or actions with weak turning points.
Hero: Joe
Villain: Maksim and Assoc. (Unknown at first) – finding out the truth of Margo
Red Herring Character: local union (not trustable in negotiations/fear mongering)
Trusted, but shouldn’t be John and Nick – Sells out for money/Sells out Martino family for father’s loyalty and love
Isn’t trusted but should be: Tony – Finds out the truth about Margo and her death.
Hero / Villain Not Trusted: End of story; Maksim leads Joe to believe he’s open to a peace-making meeting. However, he is not and still carrying jealousy and revenge.
Hero / Red Herring Character Trusted: Being Joe’s best friend, he loves the family. However, his young, expensive wife is becoming unaffordable, and he needs money. John thinks it’s only about screwing with union contracts. Not realizing the depth of destruction, Maksim has planned, he sells Joe out for money.
Red Herring /Martino Family Isn’t Trusted: Union pickets, sends threatening letters, sets fires, gives bad press etc.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Nikolai/Nicky, charming, intelligent attorney assistant to Gina is Maksim’s unknown son, who helps plan Joe and family destruction on a daily basis.
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Pop Tony, who hates Joe, however would fight to the death for his family and granddaughters,
JOE – JOHN TRUST: John is Joe’s best friend; they golf together weekly. They attend each other’s family events for over 30 years.
DISTRUST: Threatening letters left in Joe’s home mailbox.
TRUST: John reassures Joe that he met with union leaders, who agreed to back off the home attacks due to his grandchildren living there.
DISTRUST: Fire bombing at employee entrance.
DISTRUST: John blames Gina. Assures Joe to be patient, as he’s doing his best with the union.
TRUST: John steps up, attends Angela’s BDay party with a huge gift of a beautiful birthstone necklace.
DISTRUST: John’s young wife is on a shopping spree, overspending in Beverly Hills, and not at Angela’s party. John needs money.
TRUST: John is Gina’s Godfather and would not hurt her intentionally.
DISTRUST: John did screw up the union negotiations, and delays closing. is being accomplished as the union threats increase on Joe’s family and violent fires/pickets at his casino’s front entrance causing bad press.
TRUST: John is Gina’s godfather and adores her – didn’t know the depth of the hatred for Joe, but John would not have put her at risk.
DISTRUST: When challenged with the Russian concept, John’s guilt causes his confession, because he, too, was roped in by the Maksim/Russian plan, and didn’t know about Gina’s kidnapping. Unacceptable loyalty, Joe throws him out.
JOHN – MARTINO FAMILY TRUST: Joe, the managers and the daughters believe that John helping the family.
TRUSTED: Gina, Nick and John could calm and negotiate the with union nuts.
TRUST: Union backed off pickets for the day of Angela’s BDay party.
DISTRUST: John’s wife is on a shopping spree in Beverly Hills, and not at Angela’s party.
DISTRUST: Someone broke in Joe’s home. Joe defended his family by killing the intruder, thought to be tied to the union sympathizers.
DISTRUST: No one trusts John now. When challenged with the Russian concept, John’s guilt causes his confession, because he, too, was roped in by the Maksim/Russian plan, and didn’t know about Gina’s kidnapping. Unacceptable loyalty, Joe throws him out
NICK/NIKOLAI – JOE & FAMILY TRUST: Nick/Nikolai was hired by Gina, and she’s too smart to be fooled.
TRUST: Plus, other management members group interviewed him. He’s a brilliant attorney and a wonderful addition to the Martino management team.
DISTRUST: Nick seems to be late for union meetings and doesn’t add much to the negotiation meetings – more fluff than brilliance.
DISTRUST: Joe doesn’t like Nick’s disappearing/no phone contact with his daughter, who ends up at the emergency room/hospital.
TRUST: The sisters see Nick helping Francesca and the developing love relationship between Nick and very choosy, skeptical Francesca.
TRUST: Nick has stopped/avoided Francesca’s kidnapping.
DISTRUST: Maksim pushes against Nick’s decisions.
TRUST: Joe sees how quickly Nick has stepped up to cover for Gina, missing from union meetings. He meets with the outside Press to quell union problems.
DISTRUST: Nick is caught eavesdropping at the surveillance, locked doors.
TRUST: Francesca defends Nick.
DISTRUST: The sisters talk, and no one trusts Nick any longer. Who is Nick really?
DISTRUST: Francesca’s pregnant.
FRANCESCA – NICK DISTRUST: Francesca doesn’t care for Nick and sees him as narcissistic, overly placating and overly charming manipulator.
DISTRUST: Nick dances with Francesca, but no attachment to his charms.
TRUSTS: Nick protects Francesca after her ankle accident.
DISTRUST: Nick caused the ankle sprain accident.
TRUST: Nick wins over Francesca with caring ways and concern over union.
DISTRUST: Nick accuses her of snooping, argues with Francesca.
TRUST: Apologizes and they begin to date. Francesca and Nick fall in love.
DISTRUST: Francesca’s pregnant.
JOE – TONY DISTRUST: Tony harangues Joe every chance that he gets, including publicly at Angela’s BDay party.
TRUSTS: Joe sees the love Tony has for his granddaughters; separate from the hate he has for Joe.
DISTRUST: Joe refuses to help Tony fight for his casino.
TRUST: Tony turns around and offers to help.
DISTRUST: Joe again sees the sneaky, underhanded side of Tony.
TRUST: Tony will risk his reputation – acquire illegal weapons and supplies support for Gina’s recapturing.
DISTRUST: Tony sneaks out the hidden, secret back door to the parking lot.
TRUST: Tony never squealed about girls’ surveillance chips, he keeps the granddaughters busy and away from danger.
DISTRUST: Tony argues, tries to take over the main plans, when Joe already pulled in legal help with his gov’t favors via his good friend, General Sawyer.
TRUST: Tony finally backs off going to Mexico in favor of what’s best for Gina.
DISTRUST: Tony hasn’t needed the wheelchair for 6 months. Faked. After Gina’s return, he hops out in front of Joe and the family. What else is faked?
TRUST: Hosts Thanksgiving dinner, reinforcing family unity and forgiveness.
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Ian Patrick’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is to create doubt in the viewer’s mind as to who can be believed
Make a list of the main characters.
Hero:
Detective <div>Villain:
SniperRed
Herring Character: Neo-Nazi leaderTrusted,
but shouldn’t be: Fellow cop who turns out to be racistIsn’t
trusted, but should be: Police CaptainWith each character, ask these questions:
What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?
Hero: Detective — trustable
Villain: Sniper – not trustable
Red Herring Character: Neo-Nazi leader – not trustable
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Fellow cop – not trustable
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Police Captain — trustable
How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
Detective – planted evidence against him makes him appear not trustable
Neo-Nazi leader – appears to be the villain
Villain – appears to be merely a flunky
Racist cop – appears trustable; later plants evidence
Captain – appears to believe Hero might be guilty
With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Hero / Villain:
DISTRUST: Detective distrusts him but doesn’t suspect him to be the
shooter
Hero / Red Herring Character:
DISTRUST: Believes he’s the shooter
TRUST: Ultimately realizes he isn’t
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be:
TRUST: Believes fellow cop is a normal officer
DISTRUST: Finds out he is a white supremacist
DISTRUST: Realizes he’s the one who planted evidence against him
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be:
TRUST: Believes his Captain will assign him accordingly
DISTRUST: Gets assigned to covering a neo-Nazi march
TRUST: Believes he can keep the peace
DISTRUST: Someone strikes a marcher with his car
TRUST: Assumes Captain will believe he’s innocent
DISTRUST: Captain temporarily suspends him
DISTRUST: Doesn’t tell the Captain that he is continuing his own investigation
TRUST: Ultimately realizes Captain did believe him but had to go by the book
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Sherri D. Coffee – Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is to brainstorm trust/distrust between characters.
1. Main characters
Hero: Charlotte
Villain: Ford
Red Herring Character: Uncle L
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Ford
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Senator Smith
2. Charlotte – A. Trustable B. She may appear not trustable by investigating Ford’s transactions and prying into his political contributions. C. She appears to be trustable when she follows thru on her commitments to Ford.
Ford – A. Not Trustable B. He is a trusted partner with politicians and political parties – they can always rely on Ford for campaign money C. He is not trustable when he suspects that Charlotte knows where he gets campaign money.
Uncle L. A. Not trustable. B. He is ousted from the CIA and appears not trustable. C. He is ousted as a decoy to entrap Ford in his foreign money scheme.
Senator Smith. A. Trustable. B. Not trustable – Charlotte discovers his affair. C. He becomes trustable when he chooses to expose Ford’s corrupt scheme.
3. Charlotte/Ford
Trust: Ford hires Charlotte to join his prestigious firm.
Distrust: Ford hires Charlotte because her uncle CIA is investigating his foreign money scheme.
Trust: Charlotte trusts Ford to provide her the training and projects she needs to lobby.
Distrust: Charlotte begins to doubt Ford when she investigates foreign contacts.
Charlotte/Uncle L
Trust: Charlotte trusts her uncle to help her career.
Distrust: When he is ousted publicly from the CIA, he becomes a distrusted liability for her career.
Trust: Uncle L trust Charlotte to be able to obtain the information he needs to document his case.
Distrust: Uncle L distrusts Charlotte when she doubts him and begins to believe Ford.
Charlotte/Ford is trusted but shouldn’t be.
Trust: Career training
Distrust: He is setting Charlotte up to take the fall for him.
Charlotte/Uncle L isn’t trusted but should be
Trust: In danger and being chased, Charlotte has no choice but to trust her uncle.
Distrust: Charlotte avoids her uncle due to the damage he could do to her career.
4. Sequence Trust/Distrust:
Trust: Charlotte believes Ford has hired her for her skill set to join his firm.
Distrust: Ford has really hired her to disrupt the CIA investigation.
Trust: When Patricia takes Charlotte to the day at the capital, she listens to every word.
Distrust: Charlotte sees Patricia kissing Senator Smith and assumes an affair.
Trust: Patricia welcomes her to the firm and gives her a welcome basket at the end of her first day.
Distrust: She doubts her intent when she discovers a usb file with a list of foreign contacts.
Trust: Charlotte attends fundraiser for Senator Smith.
Distrust: Charlotte is drugged at the fundraiser.
Trust: Senator Smith visits Charlotte to make sure she is ok.
Distrust: Charlotte suspects he had her drugged.
Trust: Charlotte continues to investigate the funding streams used for political contributions.
Distrust: Charlotte cannot find out where the money originates.
Trust: She finds generic contracts.
Distrust: the amount of money does not match the contract amounts.
Trust: Senator Smith points Charlotte in the right direction.
Distrust: She risks her job to get the documentation.
Trust: Charlotte tries to get the information to the CIA.
Distrust: Her Uncle prevents her from reaching the CIA.
Trust: Her Uncle takes her to Senator Smith’s office to deliver the information.
Distrust: Charlotte is interrogated in a room with CIA.
Trust: She begins to trust the room.
Distrust: Senator Smith has campaign plans.
Trust: Ford shows up to confront the group.
Distrust: Ford knows that the truth has been revealed.
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Eric Humble’s Trust Relationships
What I learned: looking at the story from the trust/distrust angle really strengthened my red herring thread, and gave me some huge breakthroughs including changing the red herring from an old friend to an old lover, with the conflict between them really upping the stakes and making the various “demands” for the character reveals much more natural and less contrived.
MM1:
Beginning: The rival chef calls the FBI to blow the whistle on someone. TWIST: But while he’s waiting someone stalks him through his kitchen.
Inciting Incident: Raf is recruited by Leiber to cook the meal at the G7 summit to broker peace in Europe. Cover: Leiber claims the previous chef’s security check revealed he had political sympathies with one of the world leaders. He wants Raf because of Raf’s reputation for providing custom meals that help power players lure their counterparts into deals. Trust: Leiber gives him the job – is his contact man. Everything he knows about the job comes from Leiber.
Intrigue 1: Leiber acts like he’s most concerned with the US’s standing in NATO – the peace treaty is essential to re-establishing the US’s dominance within NATO. Insisting that the other countries are sheep following the US superpower.
MM2:
Raf is urged by his pregnant girlfriend to let this one go. He’s never satisfied with success; as soon as he achieves something, he’s off to the next thing… and she’s worried he’ll be that way about their family once the baby comes. But he can’t let it go. It’ll be the biggest dinner of his life!
Intrigue: Current Direction:Leiber has strong security in place but he’s been cleared…. TWIST: …except that’s the first level. The additional protocols are that no one leaves once admitted, sections of the kitchen are off-limits, and they won’t let anyone from the kitchen talk to the world leaders in the dining room. Violate any of these and he’ll be arrested instantly.
Raf knows line cook Sal. Trust: She’s an ex-flame, but at least she’s someone he knows – well. Distrust: She has a violent temper, and an axe to grind with him. Distrust: Raf confronts her and tells her what’s between them has to wait – he has rank and he’s not going to let her mess this up for him.
Mystery 1: No one knows why the first chef left. Leiber claims his security clearance didn’t check out, something about his background. Trust: But Sal says it’s bullshit. She levels with him about her suspicions – the previous chef didn’t have a political bone in his body, all he cared about was food. So why was he canned? And why hasn’t she been able to reach him?
Intrigue 2: One member of NATO, a firebrand, is in a violent, drunken argument – railing that NATO always follows the US’s lead, even now when US credibility is low. If they’re as united as they say, NATO can be its own superpower without US Involvement. Current Direction: Rav is ordered to give him coffee and settle his stomach and mind with a snack… Twist: …and gets the sense this man has already gotten a system in place, a cabal waiting in the wings to take over the lead in foreign policy if the US can’t pull this peace deal off. He feels compelled to report this.
Intrigue 3: Meanwhile, Leiber calms the situation by having water brought in for all the delegates – which, unknown to anyone, is poisoned with thallium.
Turning Point One/Life-Threatening 1: Current Direction: Looking for Leiber to report his suspicions, Rav enters the off-limits meat freezer. Twist: He discovers the rival chef’s body hanging there. Murdered! Will this be Raf’s fate?
Mystery 2: Who killed the original chef and why?
Mystery 3: The first chef left a warning carved into the handle of his chef’s knife: Poison.
Dessert. Russian Bl…
Trust: Raf finds a warning the previous chef carved into the chef’s knife – and believes it enough to make it his quest to find out who killed him before he becomes the next victim.
MM3:
Current Direction: Raf takes the logical first steps – goes to report it to Leiber.
Intrigue 4/Twist: Distrust: Leiber is suspicious of him for suggesting he went into the off-limits area.questions why he ventured into the off-limits area. Raf doesn’t trust that Leiber will take his side instead of arresting him and backs off, doesn’t tell him about the body. Leiber won’t let Raf disrupt the proceedings – there’s too much at stake. insists on keeping the meal on a strictly-timed schedule… but makes it seem like this is because the peace deal is at stake, not because everyone will feel the effects of the poison by then.
Mystery 4: Learns from Sal that there was a dust-up when the previous chef wanted to change the dessert to something low sugar and vegan for everyone; everyone could have it and it didn’t conflict with anyone’s dietary requirements. Several of the NATO leaders’s staff objected and Leiber threatened to replace him unless he stuck to the pre-cleared menu.
Distrust: Sal is up to something – and is looking for where the previous chef stashed it. He confronts her and she confesses she and the previous chef were lovers.
Mystery 5: Everything was going fine with the chef until he inspected the pantry. Then suddenly he was gone and replaced with Raf.
Intrigue 5: Leiber leaves a false clue that makes Raf think the poison is in the kitchen.
Life-Threatening 2: Raf goes looking in the pantry and someone unseen (Sal) attacks him. He doesn’t see that it’s Sal, just that he hurt the assailant’s hand.
TWIST: Mystery 6: Current Direction: There’s nothing there. Twist: Trust: Raf finds the rat poison container – thallium – tucked under a floor panel at the chef’s station, left there by the first chef. Its cartridge is empty… the poison has been removed.
MM4:
More ambitious plan: Contact the world leaders via food.
Life-Threatening 3: Current Direction: Raf tries to warn the US President –Twist: …but only the Chinese president, an enemy, figures out the message and converses with him… which could make him look like a foreign agent and is a breach of protocol.
Red Herring Mystery 2: He catches Sal burning her hand to cover the wound he made during the scuffle.
Mystery 7: Raf gets a call from his business partner. Current direction: Tries to tell him everything. Needs to get him to contact the police… Twist: …but the partner is calling about something more urgent. An audit resulting from an undisclosed bank account. Their restaurant is in jeopardy.
Life-Threatening 4: Current direction: The Chinese president contacts him – he knows who the target is: the president of Montenegro, who is about to join NATO. He urges Raf to cook him something off the menu, something he will prepare himself. Raf is in a dilemma: trust an enemy or take the chance he’s right. Raf decides to do what the Chinese president says once he expresses admiration and a possible opening of one of Raf’s restaurants in Macao.
Trust Leiber/Distrust Previous Chef: Leiber discredits the previous chef – Leiber informs him that the previous chef wasn’t fired for political sympathies – he was fired for actively planning to kill one of the world leaders. They found his lab at home where he was making the poison… and Leiber suspects he had an accomplice on the cooking staff.
Midpoint/Twist: He cooks the alternate dish on the side and switches it before they serve it – but it’s a trap by the Chinese president – the president of Montenegro is allergic to an ingredient. He’s brought before multiple countries’ security forces. Twist: …including China, whose president has never heard of him. It was a set up by the real assassin, who knows Raf is onto him!
MM5:
Retreats to lick his wounds while villain basks in triumph!:
Life-Threatening 5: Leiber gets him out of it – so he can frame him for his own assassination plan. Mystery 8: Current Direction: Leiber is on his side and is rescuing him. He brings Raf into the restricted area… Twist: …for interrogation. Shows him (doctored) video looking like he’s receiving a payoff.
Red Herring Mystery 3: Sal is in contact with someone above in the peace talks via coded messages left in the dirty napkins.
Red Herring Mystery 4: Distrust: Leiber goes over the cooking staff’s bona fides. None with allegiances to any of the governments represented except the USA. Sal is listed as Spanish… but Raf knows she was born in Montenegro.
TWIST/Life-Threatening 7: Someone (Leiber) threatens Raf’s girlfriend – sends him a live video feed of her. She’s being watched and doesn’t realize it. Cook the dinner and stop playing detective.
MM6:
Most ambitious plan yet: Takes control of the kitchen himself and locks security out.
Trust: The previous chef leaves a note to use the original kitchen in the off-limits area. It’s clean. He does so.
Mystery 9: Current Direction: Raf is under close guard as he proceeds to cook as planned. Twist: Raf takes Leiber hostage and switches kitchens and orders everything recooked immediately with fresh ingredients he commandeers a Secret Service agent to bring in from the outside.
Intrigue 6: Trust: Leiber, coming to him as a friend, focuses Raf’s attention on the special “no-sugar” dessert that will only be served to the US President… a seemingly obvious choice for the poison.
Raf orders everyone to switch clothes with the person to their left. Then has everyone check their pockets. No poison.
Red Herring Mystery 5: Sal didn’t switch clothes with the other cooks.
Red Herring Mystery 6: Distrust: Sal is able to retrieve the poison the original chef planted there in the first kitchen. Raf walked her right into it. He catches her red-handed.
Current Direction: Sal appears to be the assassin. Raf lets Leiber go to take her into custody and question her. Twist/Trust: But the poison she had isn’t lethal – it’ll make you sick but it’s very hard to kill someone with it. And it’s not Thallium. She begs him to believe that her intentions were disruption, not murder… and he vouches for her.
Mystery 10: But before he serves the new food, Raf convinces POTUS to let Leiber feed it to Sal to bluff her into talk in his holding cell… and to prove there’s no poison in it. Ostensibly as a bluff (believing Raf has eliminated the possibility of poison).
Red Herring Secret: Sal is a sleeper agent for one of the smaller NATO countries unhappy that peace will come at the cost of it seceding a small tract of land to Russia, despite the US President and NATO leaders’s endorsement of this concession. Her mission, with the help of her lover the previous chef, was to disrupt the peace treaty by making one of the world leaders ill… but not to hurt anyone.
Down at the End of Act Two:
Want in Jeopardy: Twist: Sal eats it – and dies. Raf looks guilty as ever.
Need in Jeopardy: He pulled this stunt to show off once and for all to the world leaders.
Turning Point Two: He realizes thallium’s antidote is the Prussian Blue pigment found in the icing to the cake… they’ve all already been poisoned and only POTUS won’t consume the antidote as he’s diabetic.Mystery 11: Raf realizes the poison isn’t in the kitchen – it was in the water Salvatore was drinking in his cell, and which the world leaders drank before the gathering started.
MM7:
Crisis: Raf has to get Prussian Blue to the President.
Decision Point: Throws away his career and freedom to do the right thing.
Life-Threatening 8: Leiber orders the Secret Service to shoot him on sight as an assassin.
Climax: Raf squares off with Leiber and uses his cooking skills to switch poisons and antidotes.
Life-Threatening 9: Leiber sabotages the oven to explode and kill him.
MM8:
Villain is Back One Last Time!: Leiber goes after Raf’s girlfriend.
Resolution: Raf runs a well-respected but unassuming restaurant that allows him to spend time with his girlfriend… who is pregnant and whom he’s going to marry.
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Lesson 10
Jeff Hall’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is… Deceptive relationships play an important role in this genre. Always keep the audience guessing. I will be adding more of these situations upon rewrite.
OPENING: Mysterious slaughter of family by unknown killer. Protagonist, Ben, gets high off opium.
a. Who is slaying?
TWIST- Current Direction: Peaceful night / Twist: Slaying of family
b. Why are the slaying occurring?
c. The towns deputy, Ben, is depressed, addicted, and unhappy.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ben’s innocent friend is accused and hung for the murder.
a. Ben’s friend is drug out into the street.
TWIST- Current Direction: Obviously innocent man and moment / Twist: Mob swarms in and hangs the man
TRUST: Ben trust sheriff to give friend fair trial / DISTRUST: Sheriff lets mob take and hang friend.
b. Ben is trampled on as he attempts to save him.
c. Ben’s innocent friend is hung.
TURNING POINT 1: Ben is forced to quit job/lose fiance in order to pursue the real murderer. Jumps the train.
a. The sheriff threatens Ben to “leave well enough alone”.
TWIST- Current Direction: The good sheriff is fair and universally liked / Twist: Turns a blind eye to murder
b. After discovering another “mirror” slaying, Ben declares he will pursue murderer. Sheriff fires him.
TRUST: Ben expects sheriff to allow him to pursue murderer / DISTRUST: Sheriff refuses to save face.
c. Ben’s fiance leaves him because of job loss.
TWIST- Current Direction: Happy engagement and moment / Twist: She leaves him for a simple set back.
TRUST: Ben expects fiance to understand his decision / DISTRUST: Fiance breaks engagement
d. Injured as he jumps train.
MIDPOINT: He uncovers a trail of countless murders done by cover of night.
a. Finds other murders.
b. Treated like a bum as he joins hobos.
TRUST: Hobos are kinds to him / DISTRUST: Ben wakes up and everything has been stolen.
TURNING POINT 2: In the next town, Ben is accused and hung for another slaying. Barely survives.
a. Ben is accused and hung for the murders.
TWIST- Current Direction: Sheriff is kind and helpful / Twist: Accuses him of murder and sentences to death.
TRUST- The towns people are kind to him / DISTRUST: The townspeople are quick to accuse and hang him.
b. Severe injury to the neck. But survives.
TWIST- Current Direction: Ben is hung / Twist: Saved by his sheriff and survives.
CLIMAX: The serial murderer attempts to murder all the children in orphanage.
DISTRUST: Marie keeps him locked up with gun on him / TRUST: Marie saves him.
a. Attempts save the children at the orphanage.
TWIST- Current Direction: Tranquil innocent setting / Twist: attacked by an insane serial murderer.
b. Pursues the Tall Man and fights him.
RESOLUTION: Ben defeats the murderer and settles in to care for the children.
a. A peaceful setting with Maria (orphanage ‘mom’) and the children.
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Mona Miller’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is that I continue to be confused about the difference between the “Thriller Map” and a detailed outline. Obviously the way characters relate to each other is critical, and I can see that levels of trust and distrust within the relationship are particularly pertinent for thrillers.
I put the new trust/distrust steps in red in my Thriller Map. I’m not sure I’m really getting this.
Mona Miller’s Trust Roles Assignment [Assignment #10]
Hero, Brett Dean (young CIA operative)
Trustable, but trained to lie. Seems trustworthy but isn’t, as he is a professional liar, a spy. For the right cause/people, he is totally trustworthy.
Likes and trusts Expedition Leader (who is fundamentally untrustworthy) because he let hero join the trek at the last minute, with a flimsy cover, for a bribe. They bond over love of climbing.
Feels badly when E.L. almost dies, tries to save him.
Hero likes and trusts Patel, who pays for medical evac helicopter for E.L. [until the hero finds out helicopter crashed with all on board]
Lies to entire group about having a satellite phone, until it’s really needed.
Doesn’t confide in Dr. G because he suspects her, losing her trust.
Tries to appeal to Ali Patel as part of his cover, and really likes Patel for a while, bonding over love of climbing, not realizing Patel is his target.
Unable to leave Patel, his prisoner, he has to trust Dr. G to go to the village, and scope it out. When she escapes, even after Patel warns the villagers who she really is, Hero again distrusts Dr. G, not realizing her own medical and personal skills enabled her to escape, since some of the villagers (women and children) really needed her help. He underestimated Dr. G.
Villain, Ali Patel – Seems trustworthy, and his “cover identity” makes him popular, charismatic, sought after. He excels at charming people. He is not trustworthy at all. He is a terrorist, who finances an immense empire of terror. He is a brutal boss. He admires physical prowess and climbing talent.
Trusted, but shouldn’t be.
He bonds with the hero, as they are both physically adventurous and fit.
He is entirely true to his ruthless reputation in getting rid of the Expedition Leader, whom Hero saves from certain death, ruining Patel’s plan to get rid of E.L. E.L’s file on Hero is inadequate, leading Patel to distrust Hero.
Patel loses dark-haired woman’s trust by flirting and acting too western with Dr. G., and being willing to have Dr. G. become regular medical doctor for “villagers” who are trainees in the terrorist camp.
Patel loses dark-haired woman’s trust by not being super-devoted to welfare of people in terrorist training camp (in her opinion).
Red Herring Character: Expedition Leader
Not trustworthy, but very likable and charming. Has been skimming off the Expedition Tour Company for years, knowing that if Patel or one of the other top men in the organization finds out it’s over for him. He’s addicted to risk. He’s a gambler, and needs the money he skims to pay off gambling debts. He loves famous people and flatters them – good for the tour company, and inflates EL’s ego. The famous people like him too.
He let Hero go on expedition, despite Hero’s flimsy cover story, accepted bribe to get him on at last moment.
Hero trusts him because he got him on the trek. Hero doesn’t realize it was for the money. Hero feels responsible when E.L. falls and almost dies.
Another Red Herring, the Dark woman: (Aisha? Khadija?): Her cover is to be a sophisticated, wealthy, worldly, single woman, capable of entering into intimate relationships or not. In fact she is a diehard Islamic fundamentalist who despises these rich people and their escapades. She is deeply committed to her cause. She is quite trustworthy when it comes to completing her mission or other assignments. Otherwise, she is not trustworthy at all. If she thought one of the leaders of the terrorist group was straying over to capitalistic/western tendencies, she’d kill him herself. For her, right and wrong are clear, black and white. Loyalty is everything to her.
Dark woman at first trusts and likes Dr. G because she will help the terrorist camp people.
Dark woman loses Dr. G’s trust because she’s caught searching through her belongings when they share a tent.
Dark woman loses respect for Ali Patel because he’s becoming too westernized and too close with Dr. G.
Crew member who never drinks (Pascal?) – he’s low on the totem pole, very loyal to Ali Patel and the group up on the mountain in the training camp. He does his job. He’s a decent guy, quite trustworthy. He really thinks he’s helping people. He believes the jihadi philosophy. Totally loyal to Patel. Helps kill the dark-haired woman at the end because of her perceived disloyalty to Patel.
The climber who insists on going back in the med-evac helicopter with the wounded Expedition Leader: Decent, trustworthy guy, but somewhat self-centered. If he can get out of something difficult, he’ll take the easy route. He feels insecure about his climbing expertise. He foolishly trusts Patel and takes the helicopter ride back with the injured E.L. He ignores Patel’s hints that it isn’t necessary to travel back, the helicopter crew will make sure E.L. receives good care at hospital.
Dr. Liza Graves – ER doctor, crushed by debt, enticed to go on this wonderful climb because they said they’d pay for everything if she’d treat the indigenous people in the villages at the top of the mountain. She’s been working really hard and could never afford a vacation like this, so she leaps at the opportunity. She’s fundamentally trustworthy, but has major money problems, doesn’t want the other travelers to know she’s not paying for her place on this trip, and she’s been so buried in medical school and now practicing medicine she hasn’t had time for many relationships, so she’s relatively inexperienced. If someone really wounds her emotionally, she will lose control. The ability to wipe out all her medical school debt is horribly tempting. She might close her eyes to some issues if she could get the money to get rid of that debt. She enjoys being a doctor and truly wants to help people. She will not stand for actions that kill or hurt people.
Patel woos her with his promises of lucrative employment and free flights home.
She admires Patel spending money to transport the injured E.L. home.
Brett Dean is appealing but she finds him untrustworthy, doesn’t open up to him about her suspicions about Patel and what is going on under the cover of this trek – then she becomes angry that Dean didn’t trust her, and tell her earlier about his role, his having a sat phone, etc.
Both Patel and Dean don’t seem as responsible in climbing as she would like – they appear to not be super interested in the maps, plans, etc. (Or so she thinks.)
Mr. Pershing, member of Trek who discovers the guns and ammo in the boxes – Trustworthy but too unsuspicious. He talks to too many people, tells them what he found, so he gets killed. Foolishly trusting of others.
Here comes my revised thriller map: Updated Thriller Map as of June 4, 2022
Mona Miller’s Trust Relationships
LTS = Life Threatening Situation
M = Mystery
VP = Villain’s Plan
The Ascent
1. Opening – Appears to be extreme mountain climbing situation, very dangerous. Four people linked by ropes, in harnesses, on steep rocky outcrop. Swinging back and forth. Have to swing out of sight. Pulling each other up, really feeling the body weights of each other. Only one woman, Dr. Liza Graves, and she’s taller and heavier than some of the men in the group who have to pull her up and don’t look too pleased about it. Ali Patel pulls her up easily and seems happy to have her there, gaining her trust. The Expedition Leader helps everyone, seems very trustworthy and capable, points out ways for other climbers to improve their technique. He gains the confidence of Dr. Graves and several other climbers. Seeming LTS, but it’s just practice.
2. We pull back a little. We see repeats of the action, with different people pulling the weight of different people. Pulling back further, we realize this is a practice session. [TWIST]
3. Entire mountain climbing group together in an expensive mountain hotel. We meet the climbers over cocktails. Two of the crew do not drink. The men all seem wealthy, sophisticated, mostly late 30s, 40s, 50s. There is a quiet, dark, mysterious woman. She says very little. She’s a contrast to Dr. Liza Graves, who is open, friendly, American. The Expedition Leader (head of the Extreme Mountain Climbing Expedition Company), whom many climbers recognize, is a very experienced climber. The level of curiosity the different members of the team express about the maps of the terrain varies greatly. Some climbers wonder why others ask so many questions, rather than simply relying on the E.L. The dark mysterious woman seems to distrust people who ask too many questions. Patel seemingly welcomes the questions, although he often doesn’t really answer them and feigns to be a mere student, like the others. Unbeknownst to the others, the E.L. knowingly works with the terrorists – as long as they pay, it’s fine with him, [M] One more day of acclimating to the altitude, and then we’ll go! [VP].
4. The Expedition Leader and Ali Patel engage with each other as if not particularly well acquainted in front of the entire mountaineering group. M; VP.
5. In private, later, the Expedition Leader and Patel go over files concerning each climber on the E.L.’s phone. Patel is clearly familiar with some of the info. He’s evaluating how well the dossier on each climber has been prepared. This also introduces each climber, in crass, material terms (what his business is, what he’s worth, why he’s on the trip, what his weaknesses are). VP; M.
6. The next day, at the practice session, there’s a new, absolutely incredible climber, Brett Dean (mid to late 20s, very handsome, our HERO). He puts the others to shame during the practice – incredibly strong, agile, graceful climber. Patel expresses appreciation for his climbing expertise. [TWIST – Villain likes the hero.] Dean and Patel bond over their shared passion and tremendous expertise in climbing.
7. E.L. uses a hotel computer to check a Swiss Bank account. There’s been a very recent and substantial deposit. [M]
8. Later that night, in private, Patel asks E.L. where are the files on this new guy? Patel blows up at E.L. [Mystery – what is true relationship between these two?] Where’s the last minute climber from? E.L. jokes nervously that Brett works at Langley. Not funny, says Patel, who’s very angry. [VP; something going wrong] Patel’s feelings for the E.L. have changed. He doesn’t trust him now.
9. Next day the whole troupe studies the planned climb. Who’s in charge (E.L.), who’s second in command if E.L. can’t act (Patel), schedule, locations, maps/charts/photos/brochures, sleeping arrangements, supplies. Sherpas/porters will carry food, water, equipment, etc. Patel acts as if his relationship with E.L. is purely professional – he seems much more distant than when he’s alone with E.L., whom he obviously knows very well and treats like an underling. [M, VP.] Communications will be by sat phone, in custody of E.L. No possibility of chopper evacuation once they start – terrain is too difficult. This is luxury extreme mountain climbing with a humanitarian element: Medical assistance mission to help remote “villagers” way up in the mountains. [VP] When we reach the villages, we’ll provide necessary medical supplies, Dr. Graves will tend to the needs of the people there, we’ll take down with us any villagers who need medical help or treatment down here. [VP] Then we’ll all descend and get back here. Need to avoid seasonal storms [introduce third act driver; time element] – whole climb should be done in 6 to 8 days, including an overnight not far from the villagers. But we’ll have our own encampment – and it will be luxurious and comfortable! This is like the mountain climbing version of “glamping.” The dark mysterious woman pretends that all this medical humanitarian stuff is a bore, not glamorous or exciting. In fact, she’s carefully observing who seems interested and who is really paying attention. She sees that Dr. Graves and Brett Dean are both very interested in the help to the indigenous people on the mountaintop [for very different reasons].
10. Day 1 of the actual climb. All goes well. Brett flirts with Dr. Graves, who ignores him. Brett thanks the E.L. for letting him join at the last minute. When he thinks they are totally alone (but in fact the dark haired woman hears them, and so does the non-drinking crew member) E.L. says he appreciates the “tip” Brett provided. “Just hope I get to enjoy it.” (Brett wonders why E.L. seems nervous.) M,VP. The dark-haired woman talks to the non-drinking crew member – she seems like a different person, serious, and he listens to her carefully.
11. [INCITING INCIDENT] E.L. seems nervous, pre-occupied. They’re stretched out, crossing one deep break in the ridge, attached by ropes. It’s a long way down this one break if you fall. Suddenly E.L. falls. Looks like he might take people with him; they’re busy clutching on to the mountainside, including the dark-haired woman. Somehow, E.L.’s rope disengages from others and he tumbles down terrible distance, screaming. Rope failure? Equipment lock failure? [VP – eliminate disloyal or incompetent employees] Brett Dean detaches himself from others, follows him, using an axe and hand climbing holds, [LTS] and somehow manages to carry EL’s broken body back up. The dark-haired woman observes carefully. EL almost died, is in bad shape. [LTS]
12. Quick establishment of medical emergency tent. The dark-haired woman talks to Patel and then leaves. Patel smoothly takes charge. Dr. Graves works hard to examine E.L., who’s moaning, semi-conscious. Patel generously offers to contact med-evac chopper service, help E.L. [VP] Everyone working rapidly together to try to help E.L. All impressed with Patel’s offer. There is some conversation in a foreign language between Patel and some of the “sherpas” as Dr. Graves works on E.L. Dr. Graves seems a bit troubled by conversation, or maybe it’s her concern over E.L. being so seriously injured. [M] Using their portable sat-phone, Patel summons chopper. Another climber volunteers to go back with TA – he’s not conscious, someone should be with him. Patel says that’s not necessary, the crew will take care of him when they land, they know what to do. Climber insists.
13. Chopper arrives. Pilot seems to know Patel. They load in broken body of E.L. on a gurney, along with nice passenger. Patel puts something in the chopper as it takes off.
14. Nice passenger chats to unconscious E.L., tells him everything will be okay. Pilot seems unnerved that E.L. had this kind of accident – he’s such a great climber. [M] Passenger agrees, I shouldn’t have signed on for this – too hard for me. I’m glad to be going home. From now on, I’ll just enjoy the views from aircraft.
15. Patel, in private, presses a device.
16. The chopper, far away from the pickup point, blows up, killing everyone on board. [End of Act 1] [Twist]
Act 2 – Expedition continues
17. Very tense dinner in tent. How could their experienced Expedition Leader have fallen? Some want to look at his equipment. Not clear what happened to it. [VP] Patel discourages questioning, is very controlling. [VP] Dr. Graves is his ally – we mustn’t lose focus. [M; Twist] Can’t afford to make mistakes, look what happened to a very experienced climber like the E.L. Dark-haired woman says she’s found a flask – smells it – she thinks E.L. was drinking while he was climbing. All act shocked – very foolish and out of character for a good climber.
18. Everyone goes to bed nervous in his/her own tent.
19. Next day they have a great day climb. People are more upbeat. Patel seems in good form, and the dark-haired woman is back to her flirtatious, sophisticated persona.
20. At dinner, someone asks how E.L. is doing. Patel tells them he’s been told that he’s going to get better, will recover. Brett Dean seems upset by this, says nothing. [M] Dark-haired woman seems displeased with the news or with Patel – not clear. She doesn’t seem happy that E.L. is doing well.
21. Patel and Dr. Graves spend some time together, Patel seems more relaxed. He tells her about villagers’ needs. Dr. Graves assumes boxes they’re bringing up with them are to supply villagers. What’s in them? Could she see? Patel seems very open about it. Rather than disturb carefully packed boxes, he gives her manifests that purport to disclose contents. [VP; M] Patel asks if she’d like to continue working with the villagers when they get there – she could come down later, with a subsequent trek. Patel says if she’s doing more work, helping more villagers, she’ll be paid more. He admits close relationship with Expedition Touring Company. Also, they will cover her return flight to Colorado. He’s honing in on her weakness (she’s desperate to pay off a mountain of debt). She reads him as if he is being a fair, honest businessman. [VP]
22. Dr. Graves intrigued by offer, but is supposed to return to her ER job in Colorado – after her vacation.
23. Brett Dean seems jealous of Patel. Also suspicious of Dr. Graves.
24. Some climbers are rather depressed or nervous, want to go home, worried about E.L. Patel discouraged them from going back with E.L.
25. Next day of climb, Brett Dean feels Dr. Graves out on E.L.’s chances of survival. Poor, but not impossible, she says. Let’s have Patel make another call with sat phone – we’re all worried.
26. Patel announces at dinner that unfortunately E.L. perished from his injuries. Brett Dean seems upset. (M; twist?]
27. Brett Dean tells Dr. G in private that the chopper never made it down the mountain, that E.L. was never in any hospital. How do you know? she asks. He has his own sat phone.
28. Dr. Graves seems very suspicious of everyone. Won’t talk openly to anybody. [Twist]
29. Bad weather leads to loss of some tents and equipment. Have anticipated storms come early? [LTS] This will mean new sleeping arrangements. Where will Dr. Graves end up? Mini-competition among men to share their tents with her. She ends up with dark, mysterious, quiet woman. [M]
30. Brett Dean and Patel end up sharing a tent. Patel questions Brett skillfully but volunteers zero about himself. [VP, M] Patel seems surprised Dean can afford this trek.
31. One of wealthy climbers (Mr. Pershing) expresses curiosity about what’s in the boxes the staff people are lugging up the mountain. Dr. Graves assures him, based on lists shown to her, that it’s antibiotics, antifungals, bandages, supplies for everyday stuff, illnesses, basic operations, anesthesia, etc. Patel volunteers that they provide some food for the villagers, too – they’re so poor, living less than subsistence existence. Canned goods can be very heavy.
32. Leads to discussion of class, productivity, why do these poor people stay up in the mountains if they can’t provide for themselves? Dr. Graves idealistically believes they must want to preserve their indigenous culture, they’re attached to their birthplace, don’t want to leave. Mr. Pershing wants to know what indigenous language they speak. Do they know Spanish? How can you treat them if you can’t communicate with them? Some dissatisfaction within group at Patel’s answers, and with Dr. Graves’ answers. She feels criticized by some of others in the expedition. But Patel is not E.L. he pretends to be experienced climber whom E.L. knew. Nobody knows he in fact controls the luxury tour mountain climbing company, although Dr. Graves knows he has some kind of strong connection with the touring company.. [VP, M]
33. Privately Mr. Pershing wonders that Patel can’t identify the language spoken by the people who are receiving all this largesse courtesy of the climbers, and at the weight of these boxes. There must be something in there besides medical supplies. He goes to look and finds guns! Who has planned this? What’s going on? [M; LTS]
34. Mr. Pershing is concerned. He tells the current expedition leader, Ali Patel. Patel acts shocked, thanks him for the information. But Pershing also tells Dr. Graves and Brett Dean, without mentioning this to Patel. Patel promises Mr. Pershing they will look into this but it’s better not to alarm everyone by the thought that someone is using their trek for a nefarious, gun-running purpose. Could get people unfocused, lead to climbing accidents. Mr. Pershing nervously agrees.
35. More climbing. Patel and Dr. G seem to be getting close. Patel reassures Dr. Graves that they will have local people who can interpret the indigenous people’s language, she’ll be in a position to give proper medical care to the villagers. He praises her climbing ability – says he knows she won’t be distracted by the strange news of what someone found in one of the boxes. It must be an isolated problem, according to Patel.
36. Brett and others suggest changing the order – spread out the top climbers. Don’t bunch them up at the front. [M]
37. Mr. Pershing dies in a freak fire in his tent later that night. His portable heater exploded. [M; VP; LTS]
38. Mr. Pershing’s companion on the trip is very upset and suspicious. Pershing never used a heater, even on incredibly cold climbs. Had his own custom sleeping bag, fur-lined.
39. At breakfast, Dr. G is very cold toward the mysterious woman she’s shared a tent with. Brett Dean notices. Dr. G tells Brett that she saw the woman going through her stuff when she thought Dr. G was sleeping. [M; VP]
40. New problem with food and water contamination and shortages. Rationing instituted at joint insistence of Ali Patel and Dr. Graves. Each sees a need for this kind of approach to protect the climbing group. Some climbers wonder if some people are hoarding food and clean water. Distrust within group. [M; VP] People no longer always taking their meals together. Some people collect their less than luxurious rations and eat alone or in small groups in their tents. Patel takes advantage of this to try to get closer to Dr. Graves. He tells her a few things about his earlier life and education.
41. More equipment failures, near fatalities. [LTS] Some climbers feel as if this expedition is cursed. Dr. G busy attending to scrapes, bruises, etc. The mood of the group is becoming more tense and negative.
42. Dr. G very busy in medical tent every day after they climb. They’re behind schedule now. Some people are super sick, others seem fine. What’s going on? The workers who carry their stuff are all fine – they never get sick. Dr. G insists on examining some – she doesn’t want to just be doctor for the rich tourists. She hears them speak Arabic. The small, quiet member of the crew who never drinks alcohol is grateful for her medical attention. He likes and trusts her.
43. Patel tells them the expedition sat phone doesn’t work reliably. [VP; M; potential LTS]
44. Mini-mutiny – some people want to return, others want to continue. We didn’t agree to be completely out of communication! But there’s an important humanitarian mission – to help the villagers, and we can still make this fantastic climb, Patel argues.
45. Brett Dean reveals he has his own sat phone. They can use his to call their loved ones. Patel is surprised, unnerved by this news. Dr. G. feels less trust for Dean – he didn’t tell her this before.
46. Brett Dean tells the other climbers that E.L. never made it to any hospital – the chopper must have crashed – nobody ever heard from the E.L. or from the passenger who went down with him. Climbers are very mad at Patel for lying to them earlier and acting as if E.L. made it to the hospital.
47. Patel smoothly lies and tells them he lied to keep up their spirits. [VP] It would have spoiled the whole trek if right at the beginning they’d heard about the chopper crash. Better to have hope and believe in expedition. Most don’t believe him.
48. Dr. G tells Brett Dean some things about Patel that Patel shared with her. She also tells him the “villagers” returning to their base don’t speak Spanish, but Arabic! Patel’s background and experience get Dean to wondering if Patel be his target. The CIA doesn’t know what Patel looks like, and the intelligence Brett was given was that he was in the camp up on the mountain already. Brett is surprised to see that his target may in fact be on this climb with him. He doesn’t tell Dr. G. what he thinks of Patel. [M; VP; LTS; Twist] Brett really likes Dr. G, but is concerned about how she often agrees with Ali Patel. Also, she demonstrated tremendous interest in the maps and the indigenous village. Why? [He doesn’t know she’s being paid to provide medical care to the people in the villages, or that she didn’t have to pay to go on the expedition.] He’s wondering if she can be trusted.
Act 3
49. They are getting very close to the destination – the “indigenous village” [a Potemkin village which is actually the cover for the nearby terrorist training camp, which is concealed in a ravine]. Extremely difficult climb – have to descend into a hidden valley. Slippery, difficult descent. One has to rely on his fellow climber. Is each climber going to help his team mate? Are some of them killers? Climb cannot be done solo. [LTS; M; VP] Dr. Graves refuses to be a climbing buddy with the dark-haired woman but won’t say why. Dr. Graves is such a good climber she can’t be paired with Patel – they each need to help weaker climbers. So Dr. Graves won’t end up with Brett either, although he would like to be able to talk to her privately. Graves and Hero are both very nervous about the climbers with whom they are paired.
50. Hero discovers that Patel is armed! Who will help Hero trap Patel? Can he count on Dr. Graves? [LTS]
51. Dramatic fight between Hero and Patel. [LTS] Hero captures, subdues Patel – with Dr. Graves’ help. Patel is tied up.
52. Lackeys of Patel flee when Patel is captured. In their haste, some fall to their deaths. [LTS]
53. Hero Bret still doesn’t totally trust Dr. Graves but has no choice. He is supposed to find out exact location of terrorist training camp, number of men, layout, etc. He will stay and keep watch over Patel, whom he realizes is his target. Hero decides to keep Patel alive rather than assassinating him, as instructed. [Twist] Hero is not sure whom in the expedition he can rely on.
54. Hero acts as if he will go to village alone, leaving Patel under Dr. G’s care. Dr. Graves convinces him to let her go [Twist?], deal with medical needs of the “villagers” and she’ll note the layout, how many people, etc. (Important information Brett was supposed to get.)
55. Hero watches over Patel. Hero leaves briefly to check on gear, food, water. Patel manages to communicate with villagers (using Brett’s stolen sat phone) – putting Dr. Graves in serious danger. Brett somehow learns of this communication. [M] Will “villagers” kill her? [LTS]
56. Brett overcomes Patel, ties him up, worried about what may await Dr. G, tries to get to village.
57. Dr. Graves cleverly protects herself, some of the “villagers” really do need her medical expertise, she speaks Arabic [Twist] and can communicate with them. There are women and children in the village, not just fighting age men. Are they hostages? Are they there willingly? (M) Some of them really need medical attention, and they help protect Dr. Graves, who instinctively wants to help them. The male fighters want their women and kids to receive much needed medical attention, so they don’t attack Dr. Graves. She escapes, meets Brett on the way back. Brett fills her in on his identity (CIA spy). Dr. G has a negative reaction to Brett not telling her his true identity earlier. They return to the subdued Patel. Brett still a little nervous about whether Dr. G will help him. Maybe she’s in cahoots with Patel? She got out of village successfully without his help. Now she’s mad at him for not trusting her before.
58. Dark-haired mysterious woman plants doubts about Dr. G. in Brett’s mind. Maybe she tells Brett about how Patel wooed Dr. G with idea that she could serve in terrorist camp longer, make money, get free flight home. She’s not what she seems. [Red Herring; Twist] Hero wonders if Dr. G made up story about dark-haired woman going through her things.
59. Hero must decide whether to fill in the few remaining climbers with the information he and Dr. G have uncovered or to leave them in the dark. Can all the climbers trust each other? [M] Can Hero trust Dr. G? [M] Is Dr. G. working undercover for Patel, like the dark-haired woman Dr. G. used to share a tent with? Hero has suspicions over Dr. G’s successful “escape” from the villagers. Surely other climbers won’t accept it if Hero assassinates Patel.
60. Hero and Dr. Graves push Patel off the mountain to his [presumed] death. Dark-haired woman secretly watches them. Hero and Dr. Graves know the whole crew would have to untie Patel to make the descent, and they don’t trust him. They’re in a hurry to get back down the mountain, with the contraband, they can’t carry all of it. They hide it, and take some of it as samples. The seasonal storms are about to hit – if they don’t descend now they won’t make it. [LTS]
61. Dark-haired woman seems relieved that they killed Patel. Why? Will she have more power in the terrorist organization with Patel gone? Was she afraid of Patel? Is she disloyal to everyone?
62. She tells some of the sherpas that Patel is dead. Some of them seem sympathetic at first, agree that Patel was a ruthless killer, made no exceptions. Trying to seem agreeable to them (they make her nervous), she betrays her usual black and white view of the world, and agrees he could have been kinder in his judgments. The sherpas kill her. [Twist]
63. They arrive back at the base camp, a smaller group, exhausted, and hero realizes that the sherpas must have killed the dark-haired woman – so this whole mission has included terrorists from the “village.” They get the local authorities to try to arrest these sherpas, who have disappeared. Our hero and Dr. Graves now know exactly where the terrorist camp is, but neither wants to go back there any time soon. Too many awful memories of people dying.
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julio tumbaco’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is how difficult this
1. List of the main characters:
Hero: OWEN | Villain: ELLA | Red Herring Character: NICOLETTE/NICK, trusted, but shouldn’t be AND isn’t trusted, but should be.
2. With each character, ask these questions:
A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?
OWEN: Trustable
ELLA: Not trustable
NICOLETTE/NICK: Isn’t trusted, but should be
B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable? (NICK) OR be not trustable, but appear trustable? ELLA
C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other? Love.
3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
OWEN loves ELLA; feels betrayed. ELLA wants to trust OWEN.
ELLA loved NICOLETTE; feels betrayed that not only she transitioned but he’s now telling OWEN about the “accident”. ELLA feels betrayed
ELLA and NICK have an adversarial relationship they each feel like they don’t know each other.
NICOLETTE’s transitioning is liberating and it leaves a previous life/love (ELLA) behind while creating a new life/love (OWEN)
OWEN doesn’t know/trust NICK. NICK has to prove his credibility. NICK falls in love with OWEN- OWEN is heterosexual.
4. Created a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship and added to my map.
5. Give us the new version of your Thriller Map – I’m unsure what this means.
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Daniel Turner’s Trust Relationships
What I learned doing this assignment is to pay attention to the tension created by trust or lack of trust in the story.
Main Characters
Colvile: Hero
Roland: Villain – doesn’t trust, generally suspicious of
Deacon Wright: Red Herring – Not Trusted
Detective James: Red Herring- Trusted but shouldn’t be
Mary Maggie Lynn: Trusted
Captain Reynolds: Doesn’t trust but should
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