Day 10 Assignments

[Deleted User]

I love discovering interesting ways to write scenes through interest techniques.

4/10. My vision is to become a stronger writer

What I learned: That I needed more scenes. I did an overview and I sometimes write my scripts through it. Other outlines are detailed, prone on the paper, and ready for duplicating. To evaluate your scenes, to decipher them through these values make them more valid. I plan on entering more scenes and seeing how I can further define what needs to be applied. Screenplays are like a puzzle; each piece has a place and must fit together without jamming the edges together; thus, being essential for story…

Karen Crider’s Fascinating Outlines Module: 4/10

Added: Scene: 1.

Inside the forest edges resides a hyena clan of twenty-five hyenas led by a powerful matriarch, SILLA.

Scene Arc: From the forest edges to the communal dens, to their vast territory, SILLA is dominant.

Essence: Silla takes down the kills, eats first with her offspring, while the males eat last.

Conflict: All maintain a wide berth till she’s finished eating.

Subtext: Silla is the bigger, more powerful predator with more testosterone than the males.

Hope: That she survives, because the clan is unstable without her.

Fear: That her ruthlessness does not affect her leadership.

Scene: 2. Added.

Inside the African forest and fauna ranges a hungry, seasoned African wolf, (MORTIMER) who hasn’t eaten for three days.

Scene arc: A famished wolf kills a rabid dog and is run off by Silla.

Essence: Desperate times call for desperate measures. (He digs up a hyena’s den for the cubs.)

Conflict: surviving

Subtext: The criminal/competitive agendas.

Hope/fear: Hope of survival/ fear of death

Scene: 3.

EXT. A HYENA DEN – NIGHT

(Scene arc) At dusk at a den, Mortimer, an African wolf grapples SHADOW, a hyena cub.

(Essence:) Mortimer traumatizes SHADOW and he escapes; he claims a female cub, (SURUS,) instead.

(Conflict:) SILLA, the clan’s matriarch appears from a nightly hunt and runs Mortimer off, stealing Surus.

(Subtext) Silla hides Surus’ identity and claims her as her own.

(Hope) Is there hope Surus may ever find her family again?

(Fear) That Silla doesn’t get rabies. (Hyenas are highly immune to infections and rabies than any other species.)

Scene #4.

The hyena mother, IVY, removes her remaining cubs from her separate den to the communal den.

Scene arc: From her den to the communal dens.

Essence: There’s safety in numbers.

Conflict: Shadow remains traumatized, and wakes screaming.

Subtext: The victim

Hope: That Shadow will grow out of it.

Fear: That they may be asked to leave.

Scene #5.

Scene Arc: from the time of moving to the communal den.

Conflict: As Shadow gets older, he withdraws, avoiding interaction with others.

Subtext: Bullies beat Shadow up and label him a coward, no matter how much Ivy tries to protect him.

Hope: That Shadow may heal from his near- death experience and Surus being taken.

Fear: That Shadow may never get over the traumatic experiences that haunt him.

Scene: #6.

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – LATER

(Scene Arc: from the move from Ivy’s den to the communal den.

Essence: His soprano trill pierces the air as if he’s in pain.

Conflict: He’s the target for bullying.

Subtext: The victim.

Hope: That someday he must stand up for himself.

Fear: He may die if he doesn’t

Subplot: Misses his sister and mourns for her.

Scene #7.

Interest Techniques:

***Beginning: More interesting setting: Bullies have chased Shadow out of the clan’s perimeters.

Middle: External dilemma: Shadow is under attack in the dark.

Ending: Suspense: Ivy, Shadow’s mother, goes after Shadow not knowing what she must fight off.

Betrayal: (ironic) Hilly, offspring of Silla, the matriarch, the supposed overseer of lesser hyenas, is the bully, who has led the chase to get rid of Shadow they deem a coward.

Character changes radically: Shadow is able to escape on his own. Gains some insight of himself.

Major twist: views himself different. Stands up for his mom against Hilly.

Scene: #8.

Scene arc: HILLY, Silla’s spoiled, privileged offspring, heckles Hilly and other subordinates.

Subtext: The manipulator in control.

Hope: That if Ivy doesn’t react, Hilly may find another to heckle.

Fear: That Ivy’s family must control their reactions so they can stay in the clan.

Subtext: Ivy is the victim of abuse along with her cubs, BRIMSLEY and SHADOW.

Hope: that they can survive Hilly’s hostile behaviors.

Fear: That striking back at Hilly can lead to being ousted or even death.

Subplot: Sometimes, Ivy thinks she sees Surus, running through the forest.

Scene 9.

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – LATER

(Scene arc) A much- older, Shadow nips at Hilly when she attacks his mom.

(Essence:) Shadow is ousted to the jungle in retribution. Can Shadow survive?

(Conflict) Silla’s goons drag Shadow from the clan.

(Subtext:) Fish out of water.

(Hope/Fear:) Shadow hopes to take revenge on Silla and kill Mortimer, who has killed his sister, Surus.

(Fear) He’s traumatized/petrified of Mortimer, but is forced to live in his birth den, eating grubs.

Subplot: He follows the clan on their hunts, and notices a new offspring with Silla. Who is she?

Scene #10.

EXT. FOREST EDGES – DAYS

(Scene arc) Shadow takes refuge digging up his birth den and living on grubs.

(Essence) Survival

(Conflict) He suffers from anxiety, paces the clan perimeters and gets beat everyday by Silla’s goons.

(Subtext) Fish out of water

(Hope) He hopes to be able to stay alive to kill Mortimer and get Silla.

(Fear) that he won’t

Subplot: Has nightmares about surviving and Mortimer killing Surus.

Scene #11.

INT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene arc) Time passes. Silla begins Surus training, by having her keep the lower-level females in subjection such as Ivy, her real mom. She recognizes Surus’ scent, and the heart-shaped spot on her shoulder.

(Conflict) Ivy mentions to Surus adding, she is her daughter.

(Subtext) Dramatic Irony

(Hope) That Surus will believe Ivy, and not Silla who lies.

(Fear) That if Surus believes Silla’s lies, Ivy has lost her daughter again.

Subplot: Ivy hopes she is able to keep her daughter and have her meet her brothers.

Scene #12.

Scene arc: Silla trains Surus to be a clan leader taking her hunting and teaching her what it takes.

Essence: Silla is a manipulator, who sees leadership qualities in Surus.

Conflict: Though Hilly is not a natural matriarch, Surus is.

Subtext: Jealousy. Hilly is afraid Silla may favor Surus over her.

Hope: That Surus learns all she can without getting killed.

Fear: That Hilly may hinder her anyway she can.

Subplot: Surus suspects Hilly is not being honest with her about her origins.

Scene: #14.

Turning Point/ plot point one: The Olympic Hyena Howling Contest.

The clan howler announces the entrance to the Olympic Hyena, Howling Contest with first prize being admittance to a larger clan for survival.

Scene Arc: from the notice of the contest to its finish.

Essence: The award is noteworthy, as every hyena wants to belong to a larger clan for the benefits of survival.

Conflict: The competition is fierce, only the very best howler wins.

Subtext: The competitors are willing to do what it takes.

Hope: Shadow hopes he can win, but so do all the other competitors.

Fear: What happens if Shadow loses?

Subplot Another hyena sounds just like him when he howls. Who is he/she? (Surus)

Scene: #15.

EXT. COMMUNAL DEN – DAY

(Scene Arc) Shadow asks for help practicing his howls from different creatures to no avail.

(Essence) Predators chase Shadow trying to kill both him and the racket he emits.

(Conflict) Shadow gets beat up for practicing. He’s terrible.

(Subtext) Fish out of water. Fails at hunting. Fails to sneak back into clan. Fails with overcoming Mortimer.

(Hope) that he can win the competition and enter into a larger clan ensuring his survival.

(Fear) That he won’t win and must continue to struggle to stay alive.

(Subplot) Silla starts training Surus; Hilly spills the beans. Tells Surus she has been taken as a cub.

(Subplot) Surus realizes Ivy has told her the same thing. Silla denies it. She believes Ivy.

Scene #16.

EXT. COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

(Scene Arc) The judging at the Olympic Hyena Howling Contest at the competition.

(Essence) Whoever wins, benefits from the added security of a larger clan.

(Conflict) Competition is stiff; brief family contact.

(Subtext) Competitors plotting for a win.

(Hope) that Shadow is going to win and find safety in numbers.

(Fear) that Shadow may lose.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Ivy re-connect as family.

The competition Scene 17.

EXT. COMMUNAL DENS – DAY

Scene Arc: From the beginning of the competition to the choosing of the winner.

Essence: Competing against others like CHEEKY the chubby hyena, or Stubbs, last year’s winner.

Conflict: Shadow freezes, and a croak escapes his throat. Competitors jeer.

Subtext: Competitors outdo Shadow right and left, as Brimsley performs a Pavarotti operetta.

Hope: That Silla’s goons won’t throw him out like before.

Fear: That Shadow doesn’t get beat up or heckled by his old clan.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Ivy watch as Shadow is insulted and pushed around.

They follow Shadow as he slinks away from the bullies, and takes off without them.

The competition results: scene #18.

Scene arc: From the end of the competition to the announcement of the winner.

Essence: Brimsley lifts his nose to the air and howls several Pavarotti operettic howls.

Conflict: Loud outbursts, snarls and howling between the judges submerge into arguing/howling.

Subtext: Scheme and investigation. Silla has a stronger vote.

Hope: Shadow hopes he is still around next year for a better chance at a win.

Fear: He believes even if he is, it doesn’t appear he has a chance.

Subplot: Surus, Ivy and Brimsley find Shadow to make plans; Shadow is thrilled Surus is alive and well.

The celebration: scene # 19.

(Scene arc) from competition auditions to a final celebration

Essence: Brimsley lifts his nose to the air and vocalizes several Pavarotti operettic howls.

Conflict: Loud outbursts, snarls and howling emerge between the judges emerge into arguing.

Subtext: Scheme and investigation. Brimsley wins. The clan howls their approval.

Hope: That Shadow must survive another year alone in the jungle.

Fear: Deep down he knows he hasn’t a chance of surviving; especially, against Mortimer.

Subplot: Shadow sees Surus through the clan and rushes to greet her.

They want to go now, but Shadow needs more time to deal with Mortimer and Silla.

EXT, COMMUNAL DENS – DAY; Scene 20.

Plot point two: Low point of movie

(Scene arc) Shadow follows the clan to a Maasai campground and watches Silla take a zebra.

(Essence) Shadow hopes he can find a remnant of food scatttered from their hunt.

(Conflict) Mortimer shows up, and kills a Maasai mother and newborn in brush while Shadow watches.

(Subtext) The criminal, mad and out of control, manipulates and kills its victims.

(Hope) That Shadow stays far from Mortimer, who also kills the warriors who track him.

(Fear) Shadow hates himself for being a coward.

(Subplot) Surus, Brimsley and Ivy hunt Shadow to convince him to forget Mortimer and just go.

Act 3: Scene: 21.

(Scene arc) Shadow returns to the empty den sites of his old clan to see Ivy, but she’s not there.

(Essence) Shadow’s lonely and hungry as he follows the clan’s scent path.

(Conflict) The clan has gluttoned themselves, and on the way back Shadow hears his mother’s frantic howls.

(Subtext) It’s found out later that Silla has schemed to leave Ivy defenseless, for fear she’s leaving and taking Surus with her.

Hope: Shadow hopes he can get to his mom to save her before it’s too late.

(Fear) Mortimer has killed Ivy. Shadow kills Mortimer.

Scene: 22

Scene Arc:

(Essence) They return to the dens, where Silla eventually confesses, she left Ivy behind on purpose.

(Conflict:) Surus, who has been trained by Silla demands to deal with her.

(Subtext): They struggle, and Surus leaves Silla in the dirt.

(Hope:)An elder asks Surus if she’s interested in become a leader of the clan?

(Fear) Silla stares sadly after them, knowing she may never see Surus again.

Subplot: Surus, Brimsley and Shadow unite, mourning their mom, and howling a farewell.

Brimsley, Surus and Shadow leave without looking back. Chortles, laughter and howling arise in a new jungle chorus as other hyena’s looking for new leadership follow their path.

[Monica Arisman]

SUBJECT: Monica’s fascinating scenes

Vision: I will continue to learn everything I can through all different media to apply what I learn to become the best screenwriter I can be. To be successful in getting my movies made and to win awards in the process.

What I learned from doing this assignment is once you have all the elements in the scenes it should make it easier to write a good script.

Scene Arc: Conall and his wife are out for a romantic dinner when Harry interrupts.

1. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Conall and his wife are out for a romantic dinner. Harry strolls up and wants to meet Conall as he’s heard so much about him and his bravery.

Essence: Conall spending time with his wife after being away.

Conflict: Why is Harry really interrupting their dinner?

Sub-text: Conall is irritated because he wants to spend time with his wife.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can make Harry go away. Fear that Harry is a crazed “fan”.

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Conall only has eyes for his wife until they are rudely interrupted by Harry.

Middle: (Mystery) Who is Harry and what does he really want?

Ending: (Surprise) Harry hands Conall his card and asks him for a meeting.

Scene Arc: Conall meets Harry but leaves without taking the mission.

2. INT. OFFICE – DAY

Harry meets Conall at Harry’s office. Harry pitches a mission to Conall. Conall declines and leaves. Harry picks up the phone and makes a call.

Essence: Harry wants Conall to take a mission.

Conflict: Conall refuses the mission.

Sub-text: Conall doesn’t trust nor like Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can walk away. Fear for Conall if he doesn’t take the mission.

Beginning: (Creating a future) Conall meets Harry at his opulent office.

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Conall wants to leave his past behind yet Harry just offered him a job.

Ending: (Prediction) Harry makes a phone call. But to whom?

Scene Arc: From Conall’s trying to get into his burning house to accepting his family is dead.

3. EXT. HOUSE FIRE – DAY

Conall arrives back at his house. It’s on fire. Multiple fire trucks and police are there. The police prevent Conall from getting to the house. A black car down the street slowly drives by.

Essence: Harry wants Conall to do the mission so bad he kills Conall’s family in a fire.

Conflict: Conall vs emergency services to get to his family.

Sub-text: Harry set the fire to get Conall to take the mission.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can save his family. Fear Conall will be devastated by the death of his family.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Conall sees his house on fire.

Middle: (Mystery) Who started the fire?

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Conall realizes his family is gone.

Scene Arc: Conall meets Harry again at the graveyard.

4. EXT. GRAVEYARD – DAY

Conall lays flowers and small Irish flags at a grave. Stands. Looks off into the distance. Sees Harry at another grave. Conall saunters over to where Harry laying flowers on a grave.

Essence: Harry tries a different tactic to get Conall to do the mission.

Conflict: Conall suspects Harry isn’t telling him the whole truth.

Sub-text: With his family dead Conall suspects Harry set the fire but he needs proof.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall discovers Harry set the fire. Fear that Conall will end up dead.

Beginning: (External Dilemma) Conall sees Harry and goes to see him.

Middle: (Mystery) Who is Harry and what does he really want?

Ending: (Misinterpretation) Conall thinks Harry is there to visit his wife’s grave.

Scene Arc: Meet at the bar to toast their families and end up at agreeing to another meeting at Harry’s office.

5. INT. BAR – DAY

Conall and Harry have a drink. Harry tries again to recruit Conall by showing him a picture of an artefact that can help humanity. And could probably answer the question who set the fire? Conall agrees to another meeting.

Essence: Will the artefact change Conall’s mind?

Conflict: Conall believes Harry is lying.

Sub-text: Harry sells Conall on the idea that the artefact will help humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall sees through Harry’s scheme. Fear he will die trying to get this artefact.

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Conall only has eyes for his wife until they are rudely interrupted by Harry.

Middle: (Intrigue) What is this artefact?

Ending: (Surprise) Conall agrees to another meeting.

Scene Arc: From a cordial meeting to a detail of all of Conall’s ruthlessness and potential crimes

6. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – DAY

There are five other men present when Conall joins this meeting. One is Jay-the-Alien. Harry plays hardball as he details Conall’s ruthlessness and potential crimes. onall accepts the mission. To steal the artefact from a museum. He is to be accompanied by Jay. Conall and Jay leave. After Conall and Jay are gone, the other Elites know Harry grieves his wife. They tell him that if the mission fails he’s out.

Essence: They are going to get Conall to do this mission.

Conflict: Will Conall show them just how ruthless he can be?

Sub-text: Conall’s time as a Special Forces commander wasn’t all that heroic.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill them all right there.

Beginning: (Twist) Harry reveals Conall to be a rogue Special Forces guy who tends to go off the reservation.

Middle: (Mystery) Who are these people that Harry leads?

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) Conall is forced to accept the mission because Harry is dangerous.

LATER

Harry is left alone with the other four men. They tell Harry that if the mission fails he’s out because he’s too emotional over the death of his wife.

Harry pulls a gun and shoots one of them in the knee cap. Reminds them he’s the only intelligent one amongst them who can program the artefact to do what they need it to do.

Essence: Harry needs to exert his control over the elite.

Conflict: Harry is the only intelligent one to program the artefact.

Sub-text: The Elite are arrogant.

Hope/Fear: Hope Harry kills the Elite. Fear he’ll save his killing for Conall.

Beginning: (Prediction) Harry’s future could be at risk.

Middle: (Something Unseen) Does this artefact actually help humanity or does it do something else entirely?

Ending: (Surprise) By shooting one of them, Harry re-exerts his control.

Scene Arc: The hacker is making mischief.

7. INT. DARK ROOM – NIGHT

A hooded figure sits behind numerous computer screens. The screens display financial data of some sort. Intriguing Moment: Hidden Identity – who is this person and what is he/she doing.

Essence: Hacker is stealing money.

Conflict: The hacker vs everyone he’s stealing from.

Sub-text: The hacker is stealing money.

Hope/Fear: Hope the hacker gets caught. Fear he won’t.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) Who is this and how does he affect the mission?

Middle: (Superior Position) Stealing bitcoin.

Ending: (Twist) Harry is stealing the rest of the Elite’s bitcoin.

Scene Arc: Conall sets off to steal the artefact.

8. INT. SUBURBAN – DAY

Conall and Jay drive along. Conall wants to know all about this artefact, but Jay doesn’t answer him.

Essence: Conall and Jay set off to steal the artefact.

Conflict: Conall and Jay when Jay won’t tell him what the artefact really does.

Sub-text: Conall’s knows they’re all lying to him.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill Jay.

Beginning: (External Dilemma) Conall wants to know about the artefact but the person with the answers won’t tell him. How should he deal with this?

Middle: (Mystery) Who is Jay?

Ending: (Misinterpretation) Conall misinterprets Jay’s silence for obstruction.

Scene Arc: Conall’s plan to steal the artefact but Jay tells him he’s already stolen it.

9. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall’s security firm’s offices. Gathers his team to plan the mission. He’s confident they can be in and out in five days. Jay looks around.

Jay tells them the artefact isn’t where Harry thinks it is. Because he stole it. Conall pulls a gun on Jay demanding to know what his purpose is on the mission. Jay pushes a button on his cuff bracelet and Conall’s gun melts.

Essence: Stealing the artefact.

Conflict: Jay’s already stolen it.

Sub-text: Who is Jay? Why did he steal the artefact?

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill Jay.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Conall believes Jay has betrayed the mission.

Middle: (Suspense) Stand-off between Conall and Jay.

Ending: (Surprise) Conall discovers violence isn’t going to work with Jay.

10. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Conall asks Jay what his purpose is in the mission.

Essence: Jay isn’t who Conall thinks he is.

Conflict: Jay’s already stolen it.

Sub-text: Who is Jay?

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill Jay.

Beginning: (Twist) Jay already knew about the artefact and secured it.

Middle: (Suspense) Stand-off between Conall and Jay.

Ending: (Twist) Jay has the magic cuff bracelet!

(Theme: good vs evil).

Scene Arc: Going to where Jay has set up the artefact.

11. INT. SUBURBAN – NIGHT

Conall, Jay and a few other team members drive to where Jay has hidden the artefact.

Essence: Conall gets to see what this artefact looks like.

Conflict: Conall doesn’t trust Jay.

Sub-text: Conall plans to kill Jay.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall doesn’t lose his shit. Fear he’ll kill everyone if the artefact is a myth.

Beginning: (Suspense) Conall believes he’s walking into a trap.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Conall is beginning to think this artefact isn’t worth the cost.

Ending: (Surprise) Jay’s hidden it in a cave.

Scene Arc: From the team entering the cave to hunting down the missing artefact.

12. INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Jay leads the team deep into the cave through steel doors with major security.

Essence: They are looking for the artefact.

Conflict: Will Conall believe Jay even had the artefact?

Sub-text: What’s so special about this artefact that someone else wants it?

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall believes Jay. Fear Conall has a new target to kill.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) Conall is surprised at the level of security. Why?

Middle: (More interesting setting) A high tech cave.

Ending: (Misinterpretation) Conall is doubting Jay.

INCITING INCIDENT: The artefact is gone.

13. INT. CAVE – NIGHT

The team search the cave for the artefact. Jay shows Conall he had it through the review of the security footage. But how did they get in? Conall says he knows one of the perpetrators. And he knows where to find him.

Turning Point: Someone else stole the artefact.

Essence: Conall thinks he’s been betrayed.

Conflict: Conall vs Jay.

Sub-text: Conall’s knows who stole the artefact. Thinks Jay had something to do with it.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall has patience. Fear he’ll give up the mission and then get killed.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Conall believes Jay has betrayed the mission.

Middle: (Intrigue) Who stole the artefact based on security footage?

Ending: (Twist) Conall thinks he knows who did it.

Scene Arc: Conall tells Harry the artefact has been stolen and demanding to know what it really is.

14. EXT. DESERTED ROAD – DAY

Conall meets Harry to tell him the artefact has been stolen.

Essence: Conall knows Harry is lying.

Conflict: Conall refuses to continue until he knows what this artefact is.

Sub-text: Conall’s knows who stole the artefact but isn’t talking.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall get his answers. Fear he’ll give up the mission and then get killed.

Beginning: (Suspense) Conall is prepared for Harry to go off on him.

Middle: (Superior Position) Conall knows who stole the artefact.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) Conall is concerned about how Harry is going to take this.

15. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – DAY

The Elite are furious with Harry because someone stole the artefact. Harry puts his gun on the table and wants to know which one of them financed merc’s to steal the artefact.

Essence: What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: Harry versus the rest of the Elite.

Sub-text: There’s a game within the game being played by the Elite.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact can be retrieved. Fear the artefact is gone.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Harry suspects one of his group stole the artefact.

Middle: (Mystery) Who?

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) None of the Elite are forthcoming – knows Harry might shoot one of them.

Act 2:

Scene Arc: From the safety of the security base to the interior of CERN back to the base.

16. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall tells Jay, he suspects agents from CERN stole the artefact.

Essence: What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: They’re going to confront CERN and steal the artefact back.

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear he might be killed.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) CERN agents stole the artefact.

Middle: (Dilemma) Conall believes he knows who stole the artefact but should he reveal it to Jay.

Ending: (Prediction) Going to have to retrieve the artefact from CERN.

17. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Jay tells Conall he can get them into CERN. Conall demands to know what is so important about the artefact.

Essence: Who is Jay? What is so special about this artefact?

Conflict: Conall says they have to break-in. Jay says they don’t.

Sub-text: Jay is more than he appears.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will end up in the wrong hands.

Beginning: (Mystery) Jay is adamant he can get them into CERN. Conall doesn’t believe him.

Middle: (Surprise) Jay demonstrates how he can get them into CERN.

Ending: (Character Changes Radically) Jay finally reveals the alien he is.

18. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall tells Jay he will buy them airplane tickets to Geneva. Jay tells him they don’t need a plane when you have a saucer!

Essence: Need to get the artefact at all costs.

Conflict: Jay reveals who he is throwing Conall’s belief system into chaos.

Sub-text: Conall knows Jay can help him get his family back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will end up in the wrong hands.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) Conall continues to disbelieve what he’s seeing in Jay.

Middle: (Creating a Future) Jay has more tech at his disposal.

Ending: (Surprise) A saucer.

19. EXT. CERN – NIGHT

Jay lands the saucer close to the CERN facility at night. Jay takes Conall’s arm and they disappear into the CERN facility.

Essence: Using alien technology to recover alien technology.

Conflict: Will they get caught?

Sub-text: CERN is going to get a surprise when people just appear out of thin air.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can retrieve the artefact. Fear the artefact will be destroyed and Jay with it.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) Conall doesn’t like not knowing the plan.

Middle: (Suspense) How are they going to recover the artefact?

Ending: (Surprise) Jay has an “app” for that!

20. INT. CERN – NIGHT

Conall and Jay re-appear inside. Conall wants to know where they go from there. Jay checks his bracelet to get the direction of the artefact. He put a tracker on it.

Essence: They are there to get the artefact.

Conflict: Will they get caught?

Sub-text: Conall doesn’t know what to expect.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll get caught.

Beginning: (Suspense) Will they get caught?

Middle: (Suspense) How will they know where the artefact is?

Ending: (Suspense) Once they find out how are they going to get it out?

21. INT. CERN – NIGHT

Jay pushes buttons on his cuff bracelet, grabs Conall and they disappear. And re-appear where the artefact is. It is hooked up to a huge quantum computer. Alarms go off.

Essence: Stealing back the artefact.

Conflict: Fight CERN for the artefact.

Sub-text: Conall and Jay have the element of surprise.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll be killed trying to steal it back.

Beginning: (Twist) Jay knows where the artefact is.

Middle: (Mystery) What did CERN want with the artefact?

Ending: (Suspense) Alarms finally go off alerting CERN to Conall and Jay’s presence. Will they survive?

22. INT. CERN – NIGHT

Conall grabs Jay’s arm, and they disappear.

Essence: The artefact has been retaken.

Conflict: Get out of CERN alive.

Sub-text: Conall and Jay have the element of surprise.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can retrieve the artefact. Fear they’ll be killed trying to steal it back.

Beginning: (Suspense) Conall, Jay and the artefact disappear with seconds to spare.

Middle: (Uncertainty) They’re being chased by security.

Ending: (Superior Position) Conall and Jay have the saucer as their get-away vehicle.

23. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Conall and Jay return to the secret security base. Conall gives Jay a bowl of strawberry ice cream.

Essence: Everyone is safe, and the artefact can be set up again.

Conflict: Conall wants to know what the artefact really does.

Sub-text: Conall will take the artefact hostage until he gets answers.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall will get answers. Fear he’ll get them by force.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Conall examines the artefact.

Middle: (Mystery) Conall wants to know what the artefact does.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Conall thinks it should be destroyed.

Scene Arc: Setting up the artefact and finding out what it really does.

24. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall demands to know what is so important about the artefact.

Essence: The artefact changes timelines.

Conflict: Conall and Jay will have to fight Harry and friends.

Sub-text: Conall knows he has to keep the artefact away from Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope they can keep the artefact safe. Fear they’ll be killed by the Elite.

Beginning: (Twist) The artefact changes the timeline.

Middle: (Creating A Future) Setting up the artefact could bring Conall’s family back.

Ending: (Suspense) Conall has to tell Harry they’ve recovered the artefact. Can they keep it safe from Harry?

25. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall sets up the artefact to the quantum computer as per Jay’s instruction. Gets a call from Harry to meet.

Essence: The artefact in action.

Conflict: What will Harry do?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can keep the artefact safe. Fear he might be killed.

Beginning: (Mystery) Conall is awestruck by the artefact.

Middle: (Intrigue) Why does Jay want the artefact?

Ending: (Internal Dilemma) How much should Conall reveal to Harry?

26. EXT. DESERTED ROAD – NIGHT

Conall meets Harry on a deserted road. He searches Harry for weapons then blindfolds him and takes him to the secret base.

Essence: Conall doesn’t trust Harry, but he is paying the bills.

Conflict: Will Harry try to take the artefact?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact especially the Elite.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall protect Jay and the artefact. Fear he may have to kill to accomplish it.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Conall meets Harry but doesn’t trust him.

Middle: (Suspense) What will Harry do?

Ending: (Dilemma) What to do about Harry?

27. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Conall brings Harry in while Jay is programming the artefact.

Essence: To demonstrate what the artefact does.

Conflict: Will Harry try to take it?

Sub-text: Conall wonders how you would know if the timeline had been changed.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear he’ll have to destroy it.

Beginning: (Surprise) Harry is in awe of the artefact.

Middle: (Suspense) Conall is concerned about what Harry will do.

Ending: (Uncertainty) What will Harry do?

28. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Jay shows Harry how to ask the artefact a question. Harry asks his question.

Essence: The artefact can give answers to specific questions.

Conflict: Will Harry get the answer he seeks?

Sub-text: Conall is suspicious of Harry and the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear he might be killed.

Beginning: (Creating a Future) Jay shows Harry how to ask the artefact a question.

Middle: (Suspense) What is the question?

Ending: (Dilemma) Is Conall ready to kill Harry if the artefact doesn’t give him the right answer?

29. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Harry looks at the answer, doesn’t like it. Tries again. Same answer. Harry yells and screams that Conall, and Jay did something to the artefact. Jay throws Harry across the room without laying a finger on him.

Essence: Harry doesn’t like the answers the artefact gives.

Conflict: Will Harry destroy the artefact?

Sub-text: Conall thinks that maybe no one should have this artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can protect the artefact. Fear Jay might have to kill Harry.

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Harry goes beserk.

Middle: (Mystery) Why does Harry want to ask that question?

Ending: (Character changes radically) Jay turns violent.

Midpoint Turning Point: The artefact keeps giving the same answer –the timeline ends in 2030.

Scene Arc: From Conall returning Harry to the meeting place to Harry planning on stealing the artefact from Conall.

30. EXT. DESERTED ROAD – NIGHT

Conall returns Harry to their meeting place. Conall tells Harry he knows what he’s trying to do and he’ll stop him.

Essence: What to do about Harry?

Conflict: Conall tells Harry he knows what he’s trying to do.

Sub-text: Conall has to stop Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can stop Harry. Fear he might be killed.

Beginning: (Creating a Future) Conall has to stop Harry at all costs.

Middle: (Twist) Conall knows what Harry is trying to do.

Ending: (Betrayal) Harry accuses Conall of betraying him.

31. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – DAY

Harry gathers his group. Conall and Jay must die, and the artefact recovered so he can program it to give them the answer he wants.

Essence: Plan to get the artefact away from Conall?

Conflict: They’re going to steal the artefact.

Sub-text: Once Harry has the artefact, he will dispose of the rest of them.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can stop Harry. Fear he might be killed.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Harry betrays Conall and Jay.

Middle: (Prediction) Harry puts a hit on Conall and Jay.

Ending: (Superior Position) We know Jay has “powers” that will defeat Harry.

Scene Arc: From Conall studying the artefact to leaving it for the Elite.

32. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Conall needs time to study the artefact to try and save his family. Action Conall: Obstructive. He disguises this with trying to figure out why it keeps giving Harry the same answer.

Essence: Can the artefact save Conall’s family?

Conflict: Will Conall be able to program it without Jay knowing?

Sub-text: Conall thinks the artefact can bring his family back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can reprogram the artefact. Fear Jay will stop him.

Beginning: (Suspense) Conall studies the artefact to determine what else it can do.

Middle: (Intrigue) Conall tries to disguise his actions from Jay.

Ending: (Internal Dilemma) Conall is desperate.

33. INT. SECURITY BASE – DAY

Jay offers to help Conall but first they must stop Harry.

Essence: Jay knows what Conall is trying to do.

Conflict: Will Jay help Conall?

Sub-text: Jay knows more than he lets on.

Hope/Fear: Hope Jay helps Conall. Fear Harry will stop them.

Beginning: (Surprise) Jay knows what Conall is trying to do.

Middle: (Suspense) Jay tells Conall his story.

Ending: (Twist) We know now why Jay needs the artefact.

34. INT. CAFÉ – DAY

Conall brings Jay to a café, and they order ice cream. Jay watches the people play on their phones.

Essence: Can the artefact save humanity?

Conflict: Why save a bunch of robots from themselves?

Sub-text: Is humanity worth saving?

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact can save the future. Fear the future isn’t worth saving.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Jay observes humanity.

Middle: (Prediction) Jay tells Conall humanity’s future.

Ending: (Dilemma) Conall wonders if he can program the artefact to take the timeline back 100 years.

35. INT. SECURITY BASE – LATER

Jay knows the Elites are coming so he re-programs the artefact. Then leaves with Conall.

Essence: The artefact is in danger.

Conflict: Will Conall be able to save the artefact?

Sub-text: Need to keep the artefact away from Harry.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can save the artefact. Fear Harry will win.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Jay, Conall and the artefact are in danger.

Middle: (Mystery) How does Harry know where the artefact is?

Ending: (Twist) They leave the artefact for the Elitle.

36. INT. SECURITY BASE – NIGHT

Harry leads a mercenary team to storm the base, but Conall and Jay are gone. The artefact remains but displays the future.

Essence: Can the artefact show Harry the future he wants?

Conflict: Will Harry be able to program it?

Sub-text: Harry thinks the artefact can make him king of the world.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry will get what he wants.

Beginning: (Surprise) Harry discovers no resistance.

Middle: (Twist) The artefact displays a future.

Ending: (Betrayal) By Jay and Conall against Harry.

37. INT. SECURITY BASE – NIGHT

Harry dismantles the artefact. Him and his team take it and leave.

Essence: Will the artefact work for Harry?

Conflict: Will Harry get caught?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Harry takes the artefact but can he make it work.

Middle: (Suspense) Will Harry destroy the artefact if he doesn’t get the answer wants?

Ending: (Character changes radically) Harry is consumed by power.

38. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – NIGHT

Harry sets up the artefact, but it keeps giving the same answer – the timeline ends in 2030.

Essence: Will the artefact work for Harry?

Conflict: What happens when the artefact doesn’t give Harry his answer?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is right. Fear Harry wins.

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Harry goes beserk.

Middle: (Uncertainty) The artefact is in danger from Harry.

Ending: (Superior Position) Jay’s future is in danger.

Act 3:

Scene Arc: From Harry having the artefact to Harry being taken down by Conall.

39. INT. CAVE – NIGHT

Conall gathers his team in Jay’s cave to plan the assault to get the artefact back.

Essence: The artefact is too dangerous to be in the hands of a madmen.

Conflict: Will Conall get the artefact away from Harry?

Sub-text: Harry doesn’t know Conall’s coming for him.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry kills Conall.

Beginning: (Suspense) What’s the plan to retrieve the artefact?

Middle: (Suspense) Will they succeed?

Ending: (Superior Position) Harry wants them dead.

40. EXT. CAVE – NIGHT

As Conall and the team are going moving out another group of “assassins” show up. Gunfight ensues. Until Jay presses a button on his cuff bracelet and all the assassin’s guns melt.

Essence: Harry wants Conall and Jay dead.

Conflict: Will Conall survive?

Sub-text: The artefact is a dangerous item.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

Beginning: (Suspense) Conall is ambushed by another group of assassins.

Middle: (Surprise) Jay uses his bracelet surprising the assassins.

Ending: (Intrigue) Harry’s playing hardball now.

41. INT. CAVE – LATER

Take an “assassin” hostage. Learn he’s been hired by CERN to kill Conall and Jay.

Essence: Harry has the artefact. CERN has sent assassins to kill Conall and Jay.

Conflict: Will Conall and Jay find Harry?

Sub-text: Conall needs answers from the assassin.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall gets the answers. Fear he’ll kill the assassin.

Beginning: (Intrigue) The assassin confirms CERN’s agenda.

Middle: (Twist) CERN wants Conall and Jay dead too.

Ending: (Creating a future) Time to recover the artefact and deal with Harry. Then CERN.

Scene Arc: From the Elites coming to confront Harry to Harry killing them.

42. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – NIGHT

The Elites come to Harry’s office. They tell him all their bitcoin accounts have been hacked. Harry kills them all.

Essence: Harry is still trying to get the artefact to work for him.

Conflict: Will Harry get caught?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power because he’s stolen all their money.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Harry has betrayed the Elites.

Middle: (Uncertainty) What are the Elites going to do about Harry?

Ending: (Twist) Harry kills them all. Now he’s in charge.

43. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – LATER

Conall and Jay find Harry alone at his office trying to program the artefact.

Essence: Harry is still trying to get the artefact to work for him.

Conflict: Will Harry get caught?

Sub-text: Harry is consumed by power because he’s stolen all their money.

Hope/Fear: Hope the artefact is safe. Fear Harry wins.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Conall and Jay find Harry.

Middle: (Suspense) How will Conall deal with Harry?

Ending: (Surprise) Harry doesn’t expect Conall.

Scene Arc: From Harry working on the artefact to it being taken over by Conall.

44. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – LATER

Conall and Jay bust into Harry’s office. Lots of dead bodies. Jay takes over work on the artefact while Conall ties Harry up.

Essence: Has the artefact been compromised?

Conflict: Will Conall kill Harry?

Sub-text: Harry did something to the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope the timeline is safe. Fear Harry has corrupted the present timeline.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Has the artefact been compromised?

Middle: (Dilemma) Should Conall kill Harry now?

Ending: (Suspense) Something’s wrong with the artefact.

45. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Jay turns to Conall and Harry demanding to know what he did. Harry sobs as he gets beat up because he doesn’t know the answer.

Essence: The artefact shows all timelines happening simultaneously.

Conflict: Will Conall kill Harry?

Sub-text: Harry did something to the artefact.

Hope/Fear: Hope the timeline is safe. Fear Harry has corrupted the present timeline.

Beginning: (Twist) Harry broke the timelines.

Middle: (Suspense) Which one is the present timeline?

Ending: (Dilemma) Conall wants to kill Harry now.

Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: The Timeline has been changed but will it be for the better.

Act 4:

Scene Arc: From Harry corrupting the timeline to Jay fixing it.

Climax:

46. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Conall works on trying to re-program the artefact. But the Earth shakes splitting the artefact into two separate artefacts.

Essence: The artefact takes on a life of its own.

Conflict: Conall tries to re-program the artefact.

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can reverse the damage. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

Beginning: (Suspense) Jay can’t fix the artefact.

Middle: (Suspense) Now there’s two artefacts showing multiple timelines

Ending: (Twist) Harry thinks he’s won.

47. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

A new timeline has emerged. But what does this mean? Which one is the real timeline? But then what is real?

Essence: Another timeline has emerged.

Conflict: Which timeline is the original timeline?

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can merge the timelines back into the original one. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

Beginning: (Creating a future) Conall’s worried Jay can’t fix the artefact.

Middle: (Suspense) Conall demands to know what Harry did.

Ending: (Uncertainty) No one wants a future where Harry is in charge.

48. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – LATER

Harry tells Conall he set the fire that killed his family.

Essence: Harry thinks he’s won.

Conflict: Harry set the fire. Will Conall kill him?

Sub-text: The artefact is sending a message to humanity.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall kills Harry. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

Beginning: (Twist) Harry set the fire.

Middle: (Surprise) The artefact is communicating.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Harry’s days are numbered.

49. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The new timeline appears to give Harry the answer he finally wants. He picks up his gun.

Essence: The timeline must be restored.

Conflict: Jay’s cuff bracelet of doom!

Sub-text: Harry has lost – he just doesn’t realize it yet.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall and Jay can reverse the damage. Fear Harry has succeeded in his diabolical plan.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Conall and Jay aren’t afraid of Harry’s gun.

Middle: (Surprise) Harry doesn’t expect his gun to melt.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) What happens now?

50. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Jay pushes another button on the second artefact, and it merges back into one. A countdown begins.

Essence: Jay fixes the timeline.

Conflict: Is this the correct timeline?

Sub-text: The timelines must merge back into one to move forward.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall needs to trust Jay. Fear the timelines cannot be merged back – what happens then?

Beginning: (Surprise) Jay knew how to fix the artefact.

Middle: (Dilemma) Should Conall kill Harry now?

Ending: (Dilemma) How do we know this is the right timeline?

Resolution:

51. INT. HARRY’s OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Conall gives Harry a choice – die or choose the new timeline.

Essence: Conall gives Harry a choice.

Conflict: Conall’s more than happy to end Harry.

Sub-text: Conall’s as ruthless as he’s been made out to be.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall kills Harry. Fear Harry choses the new timeline.

Beginning: (Surprise) That Conall gives Harry a choice.

Middle: (Suspense) Should Conall kill Harry now?

Ending: (Surprise) Harry chooses the new timeline. Conall kills Harry.

52. INT. SUBURBAN – EARLY MORNING

Conall and Jay the artefact into Conall’s vehicle. He drives by to show Jay where he lived. The house is there in one piece. Conall screeches to a halt.

Essence: The artefact and the timeline is safe.

Conflict: Conall and Jay must part ways.

Sub-text: Jay changed the timeline for his friend.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall’s family is safe. Fear it’s a trick

Beginning: (Surprise) Conall’s house is in one piece.

Middle: (Uncertainty) What will Conall find in the house?

Ending: (Twist) Jay changed the timeline for Conall.

53. INT. HOUSE – EARLY MORNING

Conall races into the house. He finds his wife and kids making breakfast.

Essence: The mission is completed.

Conflict: Conall is emotional something he’s never been.

Sub-text: Jay manipulated the timeline for his friend.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall’s family is safe. Fear Jay’s manipulation changed the present.

Beginning: (Surprise) Conall’s family is alive and well.

Middle: (Uncertainty) What did the manipulation of the timeline do for Jay?

Ending: (Dilemma) How do we know this is the right timeline?

54. EXT. NEAR THE CAVE – NIGHT

Conall and his wife accompany Jay to the cave. A portal is open where a ship awaits.

Essence: The world has changed.

Conflict: Will the change be for better or worse?

Sub-text: Conall never really had a friend and will miss Jay.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall can start over. Fear the timeline change will make him lose his family all over again.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) The world has changed.

Middle: (Suspense) Is the timeline change a good thing?

Ending: (Twist) Jay tells Conall how to contact him.

55. EXT. NEAR THE CAVE – NIGHT

Conall and his wife wave good-bye to Jay. Jay’s ship enters the portal. The portal closes.

The catastrophe has been averted.

Sub-text: Conall must determine that the catastrophe has been averted.

Hope/Fear: Hope Conall continues. Fear that the timeline change has made things worse.

Beginning: (Dilemma) Conall must investigate the new timeline.

Middle: (Dilemma) What will he find?

Ending: (Hope) The timeline will be better.

[Lynn Vincentnathan]

Lynn Vincentnathan’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

VISION: I am determined to become a great screenwriter capable of getting my screenplays in various genres produced into movies that inspire vast audiences to mitigate climate change.

I LEARNED from the Mastery audio that I made scene descriptions too long, but by cutting them down I’ve lost some comedic elements and the story seems more like a drama than a comedy, but I’m saving the cut-outs and all previous assignments so I can add stuff back in. From this lesson I’ve learned to make each scene more engaging, even though most of my interest techniques don’t seem very intense/great. I’ll see what I can do to elevate these.

HIGH CONCEPT: WEATHERING IT (Rom-Com) is about two college students who try to overcome family fights about global warming and get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.

=====================================================================

Scene Arc: From Ellie being unattached to being slightly reeled in by Jim.

1. EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS WALKWAYS – DAY

Ellie and Luz put up posters for the Sea Turtle Rescue Center trip, while Jim and Mack follow the “babes.” Jim says he’s interested in the trip, asks Ellie to speak to his class.

Essence: Girls on a mission to save the earth; boys on a mission to get the babes.

Conflict: Ellie rejects Luz’s suggestion she should go with Gecko. The girls confront the boys.

Subtext: Eco-despair has Ellie against romantic involvement. Is Jim sincere about Ellie or just a smooth talker?

Hope/fear: We hope Ellie can find happiness, we fear Jim’s motive.

Beginning: The girls speak of the unusual heat, eco-endeavors being hopeless, Ellie not wanting romantic involvement, and doubt she can arrange the off-grid ranch trip (Mystery).

Middle: The boys scope out the “babes,” eavesdrop. Mack assumes it’s a sex conquest wager (Intrigue, Misinterpretation/Mystery re motive).

Ending: Confronted, Jim expresses interest in the trip and wants Ellie to tell his class about it (Twist).

2. INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

As Ellie finishes her talk, A student says the great freeze a few years ago disproves global warming. Student Jen silent. Ellie, distressed, freezes.

Essence: Ellie is unsuccessful in recruiting students into eco-concern.

Conflict: Some give anti-environmental flack, talk about the great Texas freeze.

Subtext: Ellie’s eco-despair seems well-founded.

Hope/fear: We hope Ellie can convince others of eco-concerns, fear she’ll be unsuccessful and disappointed.

Beginning: Ellie tells about the trip and her Environmental Club to Jim’s classmates.

Middle: Students give flack, Ellie struggles to answer (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: A student says the great Texas freeze disproves global warming. Ellie can’t answer (Surprise, Uncomfortable Moment).

3. EXT. PRIVATE NOOK ON CAMPUS – DAY

Jim consoles Ellie, she melts down. Jim distracts with interest in the off-grid ranch trip, speaking of his course in Alternative Energy Engineering.

Essence: Seems Jim is interested in Ellie’s projects… or he’s a great smooth talker.

Conflict: Ellie is hard to console.

Subtext: Ellie is now interested in Jim, perhaps because he’s into her projects?

Hope/fear: Jim is sincere, fear he is after a conquest. We hope Ellie is interested in Jim more than in his useful background.

Beginning: Ellie melts down, despairs about eco-doom (Mystery – is there more re her eco-concern?).

Middle: Jim tries to console her (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: Jim distracts revealing his background, intriguing Ellie (Character Change – despair to slight hope).

4. EXT. ELY’S OFF-GRID RANCH – DAY

A ranch of weird alt energy contraptions. Ellie tries to convince cantankerous Great-uncle Ely to allow the club visit, mentions she’ll be moving in after college, helping with his projects.

Scene Arc: Ellie, unable to convince Ely, does so by reminding him of her commitment.

Essence: Ellie gets Ely to agree to the Club’s visit to the ranch.

Conflict: Ely ignoring, resisting Ellie’s plea.

Subtext: Ellie wants to save the earth, so does Ely, but they both seem ineffective. Despite Ely’s gruffness Ellie loves this cranky old man.

Fear/Hope: She won’t be able to arrange the trip, hope she will, aiding her relationship with Jim.

Beginning: Ely ignores Ellie, then objects when she says one has alt energy background (Mystery why is Ely that way?).

Middle: Ellie reminds him of her commitment (Bribe, Reveal re Ellie’s commitment).

Ending: Ely finally agrees to the visit (Ely’s External Dilemma).

Scene Arc: from Turtle Center through the cute-meet kiss.

5. INT/EXT. SEA TURTLE RESCUE CENTER – DAY

Tour of the Center, a speaker talks about harms to the turtles. A person gives flack.

Essence: a visit through turtle displays to a denialist objecting to global warming harms.

Conflict: A visitor raises the great Texas freeze. The speaker tells how that freeze harmed the turtles.

Subtext: The freeze means no global warming so it can’t be harming the turtles.

Fear/hope: The turtles will become extinct, hope they won’t.

Beginning: Visit to the turtle center (Interesting Setting).

Middle: They learn about harms, including global warming reducing male turtles (Surprise).

Ending: The speaker tells how the freeze put cold-stunned turtles in danger and they called on locals to help save them (Surprise).

6. EXT. BEACH – DAY

During beach clean-up Jen tells Jim their pastor is Ellie’s uncle, Rev. Rudy, which peaks Jim’s interest.

Essence: Jim finds out more about Ellie, peaking further interest (Surprise, Reveal).

Conflict: Jen knows about Ellie, hesitates to gossip.

Subtext: Jim’s a church-going guy, he likes Ellie even more now.

Hope/fear: Ellie can get over her plan never to marry, fear she won’t.

Beginning: Jen asks if Jim knows about Ellie’s uncle, he doesn’t (Interesting Setting).

Middle: Jen tells Jim he’s their pastor, increasing Jim’s interest in Ellie (Surprise – Jim is a churchgoer and probably sincere about Ellie).

Ending: Jim wonders why he doesn’t see Ellie in church (Mystery).

7. EXT. BEACH – DAY

Jim asks Gecko about his relationship with Ellie — just a good friend. Jim pockets a shell.

Essence: Jim finds out more about Ellie from Gecko.

Conflict: tries to pry info from Gecko as to why he isn’t involved with Ellie, Gecko only says Ellie is a good friend.

Subtext: Jim wonders if Gecko is involved with Ellie and why not.

Hope/fear: We hope Ellie can get over her despair and fear she won’t.

Beginning: Jim asks about Ellie (Suspects something between Gecko and Ellie).

Middle: Jim asks why Gecko isn’t involved with her, but he doesn’t tell (Mystery since Gecko likes Ellie).

Ending: Jim picks up a shell, pockets it.

8. EXT. BEACH – NIGHT

As club members dance around a campfire, Ellie sits pensively until Jim takes her up a hillock and they kiss.

Essence: Jim and Ellie get romantically involved.

Conflict: When Jim gives Ellie the shell and asks her to be his shell, Ellie laughs, accepts it, but makes clear no involvement.

Subtext: Jim seems to want Ellie’s protection.

Hope/fear: Ellie can find happiness with Jim, fear she’ll miss the opportunity.

Beginning: Ellie is pensive while others have a ball.

Middle: Jim takes her away, asks her to be his shell in a mock proposal, she accepts with a laugh (Surprise, Character Change), but makes it clear no involvement.

Ending: Jim kisses her, she responds (Twist, Suspense – where will this lead?).

9. INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN – DAY

Ellie interviews her uncle, Rev. Rudy, at his wedding venue for the campus paper. He asks why she hasn’t been to church, detects she’s in love, she refuses.

Scene Arc: Ellie starts out businesslike then becomes emotional when topics about her arise.

Essence: Ellie has lost faith and refuses to acknowledge feelings she has for Jim.

Conflict: Rudy asks why Ellie hasn’t been to church since her mother died; Ellie gets angry, complains it’s eco-hypocritical. He tells how he’s tried to be like a father after her father left, which triggering emotions.

Subtext: Ellie has a father abandonment wound that underlies her eco-despair and refusal to get involved.

Hope/fear: We hope Rudy and Jim can heal Ellie’s wound and bring her happiness, we fear they cannot.

Beginning: Rudy delighted to see niece Ellie, but she’s all business (Interesting Setting, Uncomfortable Moment).

Middle: Rudy asks why she hasn’t been to church after her mother died. Her anger flares over it being eco-hypocritical.

Ending: Rudy tells how he has tried to be like a father to her after her father left, which triggers Ellie’s emotions (Uncomfortable Moment).

10. EXT./INT. AROUND CAMPUS/CLUB MEETING ROOM – DAY/NIGHT

Ellie avoids Jim until he comes to the Environmental Club meeting. Jim interested in the off-grid ranch visit. He asks why she’s avoiding him.

Scene Arc: Ellie’s avoidance of Jim to she’s happy to have him as a club member.

Essence: Ellie avoids with Jim until he expresses interest in the off-grid ranch trip.

Conflict: Jim pursues, Ellie flees.

Subtext: She flees because she’s already involved.

Hope/fear: Ellie maintains her involvement-free life and hope she gets involved.

Beginning: Ellie avoids Jim (Ellie’s Internal/External Dilemmas, Uncomfortable Moments).

Middle: Jim comes to the Club meeting interested in the ranch trip (Uncertainty/Mystery: is Jim after Ellie or eco-concerns or both?).

Ending: Alone, Jim asks why she’s avoiding him. Ellie is glad to have Jim as a member but doesn’t want involvement because it always ends in someone getting hurt (Internal/External Dilemma, Wound).

11. INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Jim pursues Ellie, wants an exclusive relationship. They agree on a no-commitment, no-regrets-if-they-drift-apart “situationship.” Mack drops by, ask Jim if he’s become a vegan.

Scene Arc: Jim pursues Ellie, they end in a “situationship.”

Essence: Jim gets Ellie, sort of.

Conflict: Ellie resists Jim. She defuses Mack’s snark.

Subtext: Ellie loves Jim and she doesn’t want to hurt him.

Hope/fear: Ellie gets further involved, fear she’ll drift away.

Beginning: Jim wants an exclusive relationship. Mack asks if Jim has gone vegan (Uncomfortable Moment).

Middle: Jim explains “situationship.”

Ending: Ellie agrees and they leave a couple (Suspense – can this work or last?)

12. INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Ellies cooks for Jim. He receives a call from his mother, Gabby, demanding he return home to Houston for summer, reminding him of his obligation to his Uncle Fred.

Scene Arc: Ellie and Jim happy together to worries about future separation.

Essence: Jim has an obligation that could split him from Ellie.

Conflict: Ellie worries as Jim speaks to his mother.

Subtext: Despite Ellie’s denial they have a more serious relationship, which is now threatened

Hope/fear: Jim’s mother and Fred may split Jim from Ellie, hope not.

Beginning: Ellie cooks for Jim when he receives a call (Intrigue).

Middle: Jim’s mom insists he come home for summer to work for Uncle Fred (Suspense/Uncertainty for Ellie, Intrigue re Jim/Mom/Fred) and reminds him of his obligation (Superior Position — Ellie doesn’t hear that; Mystery – what does the obligation entail?).

Ending: Jim tells taking an important summer class, then tells Ellie he now has to look for a summer class (Conspiracy/Intrigue against mom/Fred).

13. EXT./INT. ELY’S OFF-GRID RANCH – DAY

Ely leads club members around his ranch, explaining his “vortex bladeless wind turbines” (look like palm trees) and other contraptions, but explodes hearing Jim’s last name is Higson. Jim assures him he is not Fred Higson’s son.

Scene Arc: Interesting tour to Ely exploding over Jim.

Essence: Ellie happy that Jim is enthralled by the ranch, but Ely hates Jim’s Uncle Fred.

Conflict: Ely spars with Jim about Fred Higson.

Subtext: Ellie wants Jim to join her on the ranch. Fred has wounded Ely in some way.

Hope/fear: Jim will take to Ely’s ranch, fear Ely won’t accept him.

Beginning: Jim is enthralled with the ranch (Interesting Setting, Uncertainty re Ellie’s stance on non-involvement).

Middle: Jim says his dream was to have a ranch like this (Superior Position, we know Jim has an obligation, but Ellie doesn’t; and Jim doesn’t know about Ellie’s commitment to Ely).

Ending: Ely explodes over Jim’s last name, Jim says Fred is not his father (Suspense, Uncomfortable Moment, Twist, Superior Position – we & Ellie know Jim is Fred’s nephew, but he hides that from Ely).

Scene Arc: Jim attends reception to Fred lambasting Jim about his obligation.

14. INT. RECEPTION HALL – NIGHT

Jim with Uncle Fred hobnobs with administrators and professors honoring Fred for his contribution.

Essence: Jim plays Fred’s dutiful nephew.

Conflict: Inuendoes & subtext of Fred upset with Jim and Jim upset with his obligation.

Subtext: Jim is frustrated with Fred. Fred is frustrated with Jim.

Hope/fear: We fear Fred will burst out against Jim and hope Jim can get out of his obligation.

Beginning: Jim plays Fred’s dutiful nephew (Superior Position – we know Jim has different dreams).

Middle: Inuendoes & subtext of Fred and Jim upset with each other (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: As Jim drives Fred to his hotel Fred digs into Jim about summer (Superior Position – we know Jim wants to stay with Ellie during summer).

15. INT./EXT. CAR/HOTEL PARKING LOT – NIGHT

Fred bursts out against Jim for staying in college too long, taking nonsense courses like Alt Energy, threatens to cut off funding.

Essence: Fred expects Jim come work for him in his Petroleum Engineering Consultancy after college.

Conflict: Fred attacks Jim, Jim meekly spars with excuses.

Subtext: Fred has the upper hand with Jim.

Hope/fear: We fear Jim’s obligation will ruin his relationship with Ellie, and hope Jim can get out of it, or at least it won’t ruin their relationship.

Beginning: Fred digs in about Jim wasting time, taking nonsense eco-courses (Superior Position – we know Jim likes alt energy and eco-issues, Suspense – will Fred stop funding Jim’s education?).

Middle: Jim lies they were the only ones available, but it’s good to include eco-things in the business, to which Fred explodes (Surprise – Fred hates any mention of alt energy or eco-concerns).

Ending: Fred brings up Jim’s obligation to come work for is Petroleum Engineering Consultancy after college (Major Twist – Jim is obligated to Fred big time; Suspense — will this end his relationship with Ellie).

Scene Arc: Luz suggests Ellie and Jim marry to the couple separately checking out the feasibility.

16. INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Ellie and Jim into heavy kissing when Luz bursts in telling she’s marrying Javi and moving out, suggests Ellie and Jim get married. Jim says they’re only in a “situationship,” which sort of upsets Ellie.

Essence: Ellie and Jim are really into each other when Luz interrupts, suggests they marry.

Conflict: Kissing interrupted; Ellie wants to object to Jim’s claim of “situationship.”

Subtext: They want a deeper relationship.

Hope/fear: They want a deeper relationship, fear they will be torn apart by the uncles.

Beginning: Ellie and Jim into heavy kissing (Character Change – to a more serious involvement).

Middle: Luz interrupts the couple, saying she’s moving out & getting married, why don’t they marry (Betrayal sort of – Luz reneges on being Ellie’s roommate).

Ending: Jim explains they’re in a situationship, upsetting to Ellie (Suspense & Superior Position, are they serious or not; if so, can it work with their opposite obligations?)

17. INT. JIM’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Jim calls Fred to ask for help if he gets married. Fred opposes. Mack overhears, thinks marrying is going too far just to win a bet; Jim dazed doesn’t respond.

Essence: Jim wants to marry Ellie, asks Fred for help.

Conflict: Jim wants financial help; Fred is dead set against it.

Subtext: Jim doesn’t have the money to get married.

Hope/fear: Jim and Ellie can find a way to get married and fear they won’t.

Beginning: Jim calls Fred to ask money to marry but doesn’t tell Ellie is an eco-activist (External Dilemma, Uncertainty).

Middle: Fred opposes (Uncertainty, Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: Mack still thinks Jim is trying to win a bet by marrying (Uncomfortable Moment).

18. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH/TACK ROOM – DAY

Ellie tells Ely if she were to marry someone like Jim he could be of real help to the ranch. Ely is against it and against marriage altogether but mentions there’s space for another house.

Essence: Ely is against Ellie marrying but won’t oppose it.

Conflict: Ellie argues with Ely about Jim and marriage.

Subtext: Ely has some wound about marriage but doesn’t want to lose Ellie.

Hope/fear: Ely will bless the marriage, fear he’ll cause problems.

Beginning: Ellie broaches marriage, Ely is against marriage in general (Uncomfortable Moment, External Dilemma for Ellie, Mystery – why does Ely oppose marriage?).

Middle: Ellie says it’s Jim and he could help with Ely’s project (Misinterpretation).

Ending: Ely gets more upset but mentions there’s space for another house there (Misinterpretation, External Dilemma for Ely).

19. INT. THE MARRIAGE BARN/CHURCH – DAY

Jim broaches the possibility of marrying Ellie with Rudy, who is delighted and offers to host it at cost.

Essence: Rudy agrees to help Jim and Ellie marry.

Conflict: Jim hesitates asking Rudy for help, finally gets up courage.

Subtext: Jim is really serious, willing to seek outside help to marry Ellie.

Hope/fear: We fear the couple can’t afford to marry, now hopeful with Rudy’s support, but fear problems from the other uncles.

Beginning: Jim helps put hymnals away, waiting for all others to leave church to speak with Rudy, until Rudy asks what he wanted to talk about (Uncertainty, Uncomfortable Moment).

Middle: Jim broaches marrying Ellie, Rudy is delighted (Surprise).

Ending: Jim finally asks about the price, but Rudy says he’ll do it at cost (Surprise, Twist).

Scene Arc: Ellie and Jim have misunderstandings, then come together strong and decide to marry.

20. EXT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT — DAY

Jim asks Luz where Ellie is. Luz is nervous telling Ellie just left to meet a friend on campus.

Essence: Jim wants to speak with Ellie but not at home, with “a friend.”

Conflict: Luz reminds Jim of their “situationship” and is nervous telling Ellie left to meet a friend.

Subtext: Jim plans to propose. Luz assumes Ellie is drifting apart and getting together with someone else.

Hope/fear: Luz is right about Ellie drifting apart, hope she is not.

Beginning: Jim wants to speak with Ellie, can’t find her at home.

Middle: Luz peaks of “situationship,” nervously says she went to campus to meet a friend (Mystery).

Ending: Jim leaves worried about what that means (Uncertainty).

21. EXT. CAMPUS – DAY

Jim sees Mack, confirms his plan to marry Ellie. Ellie spots Jim, gets within hearing distance unnoticed, hears Mack’s tease Jim Ellie being a sex conquest.

Essence: Ellie misunderstands Jim’s motive, thinks he was only after one thing.

Conflict: Jim and Mack spar over Jim’s idea to marry Ellie; then Ellie gets the wrong idea about Jim.

Subtext: Ellie is crestfallen that Jim isn’t serious about her.

Hope/fear: We hope Ellie is not so turned off it ruins the relationship, but fear she is.

Beginning: Searching for Ellie, sees Mack (Uncertainty about Ellie).

Middle: Confirms he plans to marry Ellie. Ellie sees them from a distance, hears Mack speak of her being a sex conquest bet (Uncomfortable Moment, Suspense, Superior Position – we know it’s serious).

Ending: Ellie turns away angry and disappointed, doesn’t hear Jim deny it was a bet (Uncertainty, Intrigue, Cliffhanger).

22. INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Luz meets Gecko in the cafeteria, sorry to hear his mother died. At a distance Jim sees Ellie hug Gecko, turns away angry.

Essence: Ellie sympathizes with Gecko, but Jim thinks she’s drifted and is now going with Gecko.

Conflict: Ellie with Gecko makes Jim jealous and angry.

Subtext: Jim loves Ellie and can’t bear losing her.

Hope/fear: Ellie will clear up the misunderstanding, but fear she’s turned off by her own misunderstanding.

Beginning: Ellie finds Gecko in the cafeteria; Gecko tells her his mom died.

Middle: Ellie hugs Gecko. Jim sees, thinks she’s into Gecko (Uncertainty, Suspense).

Ending: Jim leaves angry/crushed (Uncertainty, Intrigue, Cliffhanger).

23. INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Jim confronts Ellie and she confronts Jim. They clear things up, come together strong, and decide to marry, but omit revealing their opposing obligations.

Essence: They confront each other, clear them the misunderstandings, and decide to marry.

Conflict: Big outburst of jealousy and betrayal between Ellie and Jim.

Subtext: they love each other but aren’t forthright about their obligations.

Hope/fear: Their obligations will ruin their relationship and hope they iron these out.

Beginning: Jim asks Ellie if she has drifted to Gecko. Ellie screams he lost his bet.

Middle: Jim explains Mack’s misunderstanding, that he loved her all along. She explains she was consoling Gecko.

Ending: They realize they’re in love and decide to marry, but edge around their opposing future obligations (Suspense, Uncertainty).

24. INT. MARRIAGE BARN – DAY

Planning the wedding, Rudy suggests not inviting Uncle Ely, who disrupted Ellie’s mother’s weddings. Jim agrees. Ellie suggests not inviting Fred. Jim reveals his obligation to Fred, Ellie reveals her commitment to Ely, and they call off the wedding.

Scene Arc: From planning their wedding to calling it off.

Essence: Ellie and Jim realize marriage between them is impossible.

Conflict: Ellie gets angry with Rudy and Jim for being against Ely.

Subtext: They can’t/won’t get out of their obligations in order to marry.

Hope/fear: It goes smoothly, fear uncle problems prevent the marriage.

Beginning: Ellie and Jim plan their wedding.

Middle: Rudy suggests not inviting Uncle Ely. Jim agrees (Superior Position). Ellie suggests not inviting Fred.

Ending: They reveal their opposing obligations and angrily call off the wedding (Mislead/Reveal, Major Twist, Cliffhanger).

25. INT. ELLIE AND LUZ’S APARTMENT – DAY

Luz is moving out, tells Ellie not to give up on romance, there are many turtles in the sea. Ellie says they’re going extinct, remember, to which Luz lights up with some idea. Ellie cries that there’s only one Jim.

Scene Arc: Ellie says Jim was a mistake, ends up determined to carry on with her life’s mission.

Essence: Ellie is heart-broken over the breakup, braves life alone.

Conflict: Ellie and Luz disagree over needing romance, then over many eligible men vs. only one, then having to self-sacrifice.

Subtext: Ellie loves Jim but he isn’t an eco-warrior like Javi, so the breakup and her self-sacrifice is for the best.

Hope/fear: She makes up with Jim, fear she will not.

Beginning: Ellie says Jim was a mistake (Misinterpretation), a derailment from her life’s mission.

Middle: Luz brings up many “turtles in the sea” (Misinterpretation); Ellie reminds her they’re going extinct, which gives Luz some idea (Mini-Suspense, Intrigue), and Ellie cries over only one Jim.

Ending: Ellie could kick herself for self-pity when the world is dying (Internal Dilemma), Luz crying with her, whom she comforts by saying Javi is a true eco-warrior.

26. INT. CLUB MEETING ROOM – DAY

The Club discusses a Halloween Hall of Eco-Horrors for Fall. Ellie, unhappy, and all leave except Gecko. Jim arrives, tells Gecko about their break up. Gecko thinks he could marry Ellie.

Scene Arc: Ellie weathers it at the meeting to Jim okay with Gecko wanting to marry her.

Essence: Ellie and Jim are both unhappy, Gecko thinks he could marry her.

Conflict: No conflict Ellie and Jim are listless.

Subtext: Ellie and Jim love each other even more now.

Hope/fear: They have given up on love, hope they have not.

Beginning: Ellie is listless (Superior Position – she cannot live without Jim’s love)

Middle: Jim is heart-broken (Superior Position – he cannot live without Ellie)

Ending: Gecko wants to marry her, Jim okay with that (Uncomfortable Moment, Uncertainty)

27. INT. JIM’S APARTMENT – DAY

Mack suggests other women as Jim packs for Houston, Jim’s not interested. Mack mentions a rumor that climate change will make men go extinct. Jim says it’s ridiculous, but supports Ellie’s eco-causes, worries about Ellie.

Scene Arc: Jim heading to Houston to worrying about Ellie

Essence: Jim is going back to Houston for summer.

Conflict: He disagrees about other women and the “eco-freak” rumor.

Subtext: Mack tries to wean Jim from Ellie by bringing up an eco-freak rumor, but Jim loves Ellie and her eco-causes.

Hope/fear: Jim won’t go to Houston for summer, fear he will lose Ellie forever.

Beginning: Jim’s going to Houston for summer (Twist) and is not interested in other women.

Middle: Jim thinks the rumor ridiculous (Mystery, Superior Position — we suspect Luz), supports Ellie’s eco-causes.

Ending: Jim hopes Ellie will do well maybe with Gecko (Misinterpretation, Superior Position — we think she won’t be happy without Jim).

28. EXT. AROUND CAMPUS – DAY

Fall shots, Ellie and Jim avoid each other, offer stiff smiles, Jim sees Ellie with Gecko. Ellie and Jen put up a “Halloween Hall of Eco-Horrors” poster. Later Jim looks at it.

Scene Arc: Ellie and Jim avoiding to Jim interested in the club event.

Essence: Months pass, nothing stirring between Ellie and Jim.

Conflict: avoidance of conflict

Subtext: they are weathering it, still in love

Hope/fear: They’ll never get over each other and hope they will get back together.

Beginning: Ellie and Jim avoid each other, Jim disturbed to see Ellie with Gecko (Misinterpretation? Mystery).

Middle: Jim sees Ellie and Jen putting up the Halloween poster.

Ending: He gets a better look (Suspense, will Jim rejoin the club, get back with

Ellie?).

29. EXT. CAMPUS – DAY

Pathway lined with eco-horror displays. Jim comes in a turtle costume, takes Ellie in a butterfly costume aside says he’ll renege on his obligation to Fred. Ellie accepts him back, obligation and all.

Scene Arc: Ellie tries to keep up a positive façade to Ellie and Jim back together again.

Essence: Jim is willing to sacrifice for Ellie; Ellie is willing to sacrifice for Jim.

Conflict: Jim confronts Ellie about Gecko, then they argue over him sacrificing for her vs. her sacrificing for him.

Subtext: They are concerned about each other’s prospects and feelings, willing to sacrifice for each other.

Hope/fear: They clear it up, Ellie’s sacrifice may make her unhappy or ruin their relationship.

Beginning: Jim wants Ellie back, but fears she’s already going with Gecko (Misunderstanding, Mystery)

Middle: Jim says he’ll sacrifice his obligation to make it work (External Dilemma). Ellie argues against that (Suspense).

Ending: Ellie is willing to sacrifice her plans and her eco-identity for Jim; they decide to go to Houston for Xmas and see if they can work it out (Suspense, Internal Dilemma for Ellie).

30. INT. GABBY’S (JIM’S MOTHER’S) HOME, HOUSTON – NIGHT

Gabby tells Ellie about Fred helping after Jim’s father died with the mortgage and Jim’s education. Fred comes, dislikes Ellie, says they should wait to marry until Jim works a few years.

Scene Arc: Ellie learns the depth of Jim’s obligation to Jim sparing with uncle about marriage.

Essence: Mom accepts Ellie, Fred does not.

Conflict: subtext tension between Ellie and Gabby, sparring between Fred and Ellie and Fred and Jim.

Subtext: Gabby and Fred sense Ellie may not want to go along with Jim’s obligation; Fred suspects Ellie got Jim into eco-concerns. Ellie suspects Gabby is not being honest about Fred paying the mortgage.

Hope/fear: Ellie can weather Jim’s obligation, fear Fred will halt the wedding.

Beginning: Gabby tells (warns) Ellie about Jim’s deep obligation (Uncomfortable Moment).

Middle: Fred creates Uncomfortable Moments discussing his business and Jim’s role, trying to put Ellie in an External Dilemma.

Ending: Fred wants the marriage postponed for years (Uncomfortable Moment, Uncertainty).

31. INT. HIGSON PETROLEUM ENGINEERING CONSULTANCY – DAY

Jim shows Ellie Fred’s company; employee Heather flirts with him. Fred is uptight with Ellie, but she soothes him saying he helps facilitate a well-oiled society.

Scene Arc: Heather flirts with Jim and Fred causes tension to a final flicker of pleasant ease.

Essence: Ellie pretends to admire the business, Fred finally warms to her a bit.

Conflict: Fred subtly attacks Ellie, but Ellie spars back with flattery.

Subtext: Ellie hates the business and Fred’s opposition to eco-concerns.

Hope/fear: Fred and/or Heather may spoil Ellie’s chances with Jim, hope Fred accepts Ellie and becomes amenable to eco-concerns.

Beginning: Heather flirts with Jim (Slight Twist), warns them not to speak of alt energy.

Middle: Fred bursts in causing tension, digging into Ellie (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: Ellie soothes Fred with positive comments (Self-Betrayal).

32. INT. BUTTERFLY MUSEUM, HOUSTON – DAY

Jim takes Ellie down the multi-storied path of the atrium-garden full of butterflies.

Scene Arc: Ellie goes from the tension to awe in this butterfly wonderland.

Essence: Ellie regains her eco-spirit, becomes happier than she’s ever been.

Conflict: Jim struggles to get Ellie to like Houston but she hates cities, Fred’s business, and Jim’s obligation.

Subtext: Ellie has lived in negative territory all her life, but now unfurls like a butterfly.

Hope/fear: Ellie will split and go back home, hope Jim will get her to like Houston.

Beginning: Ellie, disturbed by Fred and his business, feels like fleeing (External & Internal Dilemma).

Middle: Ellie begins to forget her troubles, entranced by the multitude of butterflies (More Interesting Setting, Surprise).

Ending: With Jim’s love and butterfly beauty she begins to feel she can make it (Character Begins to Change from Despair to Hope).

33. EXT. GALVESTON BEACH – DAY

Jim and Ellie walk along the beach talking. They see homes on tall stilts with car parking under them.

Scene Arc: Ellie enjoys the beach to being upset thinking about enhanced hurricanes.

Essence: Ellie enjoys beach, worries about the hurricane-prepped homes.

Conflict: Jim triggers Ellie when he explains how the homes are on stilts due to flooding from hurricanes; Ellie gets upset about global warming enhancing hurricanes and Jim tries but can’t override that.

Subtext: Jim wants Ellie to like the Houston area and temper down her eco-concern, but it backfires.

Hope/fear: Ellie will like the Houston area and be happy there, fear her eco-despair will not allow happiness.

Beginning: Ellie takes to the beach (Interesting Setting).

Middle: They discuss why the home are built on stilts, the history of Galveston hurricanes (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: Ellie pops back into eco-despair about hurricanes and sea-rise getting worse; she feels guilty abandoning her life’s mission (Character Changes Back to Eco-Despair, Self-Betrayal).

34. INT. GABBY’S HOME, HOUSTON – NIGHT

Christmas tree decorating. Jim gets drunk trying to convince Ellie he’ll get out of his obligation, at least get Fred to add alt energy to his business. Gabby worries. Ellie assures her she’ll stand by Jim.

Scene Arc: Jim’s unrealistic talk about changing Fred to getting drunk.

Essence: Ellie is unhappy about their predicament but will stand by Jim.

Conflict: subtext sparring about changing Fred, Ellie upset with Jim’s drinking/sorrow. Gabby warning vs. Ellie sticking to Jim.

Subtext: Ellie is unhappy. Jim tries to make her happy. Jim is unhappy.

Hope/fear: Jim will make Ellie happy, fear she will back out of the marriage.

Beginning: Ellie argues against Jim promising change (Uncertainty).

Middle: Ellie is upset with Jim’s drunk (Character Change).

Ending: Gabby is worried Ellie is tearing Jim apart. Ellie says he was already torn apart before they met (it’s his Internal Dilemma), he needs her, and she’ll stand by her man.

35. EXT. BUFFALO BAYOU PARK, HOUSTON – DAY

Snow flurries. As the couple walks through the park, Ellie speaks with Rudy about wedding plans, then she and Jim discuss the plans.

Scene Arc: Invigorated that Rudy is facilitating the wedding end of January to feeling terrible that they won’t tell or invite Ely.

Essence: Ellie is willing to sacrifice her relationship with Ely, but Jim feels terrible about it.

Conflict: They argue over what to do about Ely. When Ellie mentions Ely’s hydrogen electrolyzer and generator, Jim gets excited and more regretful they are dumping Ely.

Subtext: Jim hates harming Ellie’s relationship with Ely and the positive impact she could have helping him.

Hope/fear: the wedding and marriage will be successful, fear Ely, Fred, and eco-concerns will harm/destroy it.

Beginning: The couple happily discusses wedding plans (Interesting Setting).

Middle: Jim gets excited about Ely’s inventions, wishes he could join Ely (Minor Twist).

Ending: Ellie insists they not invite Ely, Jim sorely regrets it and Ellie’s (and his) sacrifice (Uncomfortable Moment).

36. INT. GABBY’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Jim and Ellie are into heavy lovemaking. Jim pulls away, calls off the wedding. He doesn’t want Ellie to sacrifice and wants Ely/Ellie’s eco-plans to succeed. Ellie objects.

Scene Arc: From lovemaking to calling off the wedding.

Essence: Jim doesn’t want Ellie (and planet earth) to sacrifice and calls off the wedding.

Conflict: They argue over calling off the wedding.

Subtext: Jim will sacrifice his personal happiness for Ellie and the earth.

Hope/fear: their relationship will mend, fear it won’t.

Beginning: Alone, the couple gets into heavy kissing.

Middle: Jim pulls away, calls off the wedding out of love for Ellie (Major Twist).

Ending: Ellie objects to no effect.

Scene Arc: Tense from Jim and Ellie calling off their wedding to Ellie’s resolve to make it work and Jim’s worry.

37. INT. GABBY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

Xmas day, snowing outside. Ellie, Jim, Gabby, and Fred open presents. Jim announces the wedding is off, that Ellie has important work to do and it wouldn’t work. Fred regrets because he now likes Ellie.

Scene Arc: Jim announces the wedding is off to Fred regretting as he now likes Ellie.

Essence: Jim announces the wedding is off and explains why; Fred regrets.

Conflict: Tension about Jim calling off wedding, Fred and Gabby arguing they want it on.

Subtext: Jim hates harming Ellie and her chance for effective eco-activities.

Hope/fear: We fear they have split for good, hope it can be ironed out.

Beginning: Jim says the wedding it off.

Middle: Gabby and even Fred are disappointed (Surprise).

Ending: Jim explains why in vague terms (Superior Position, we know why).

38. INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Ellie takes Jim aside and strongly says she wants the marriage and she’ll find a way to pursue her dreams AND face life with him. Jim acquiesces, but worries/despairs.

Essence: Ellie gets Jim to agree to the marriage.

Conflict: Between Jim and Ellie about whether to marry.

Subtext: Jim despairs of harming Ellie; Ellie pulls up hidden strength to make the marriage work for both of them. A role reversal.

Hope/fear: Ellie is right about making it work, fear Jim’s despair will cause problems.

Beginning: Ellie wants the marriage, but Jim doesn’t (Suspense).

Middle: Ellie wonders if Jim loves her; he does, that’s why he won’t marry her (Paradox, Dilemma).

Ending: A stronger Ellie gets despairing Jim to agree (Character Changes, Ellie from ineffective/despairing to strong/positive; Jim from strong/positive to despairing).

39. INT. GABBY’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

Ellie announces it’s back on, confronts Fred. TV: a bitter cold front coming from up north but the Texas grid is more resilient – no worries. Fred blames the previous power outage on wind generators.

Essence: Ellie announces wedding on, confronts Fred unsuccessfully.

Conflict: Between Ellie and Fred about how he needs to expand his business into alt energy.

Subtext: Ellie developed some strength of character to confront Fred, thanks to Jim’s love and impact.

Hope/fear: Ellie changes Fred, fear she cannot, which will cause marital problems.

Beginning: Ellie announces the wedding is on, Fred and Gabby are surprised by her strength.

Middle: Ellie reveals she’s an eco-activist and confronts Fred about including alt energy in his business (Surprise, Suspense, Uncertainty).

Ending: Fred had figured that and accepts marriage (Some Character Change) but won’t accept alt energy.

Scene Arc: From a power cut that threatens the wedding to Ellie’s appeal to get Ely to host it.

40. EXT. CAMPUS – NIGHT

Jim and Ellie headed to library saying it’s never gotten this cold in the Valley when all the lights go out around campus.

Essence: The freeze causes a power cut, threatening the wedding.

Conflict: Nature and the power grid failure against Ellie and Jim’s wedding.

Subtext: Does this more severe freeze and power outage disprove global warming AND derail the wedding?

Hope/fear: fear the wedding won’t happen to hope for a solution.

Beginning: Ellie and Jim are freezing; it’s never been this cold in these subtropics (sort of Surprise).

Middle: The power goes out (Twist).

Ending: Worried the wedding will be called off (Suspense, will Nature & the Texas Grid Betray them).

41. INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Freezing with lights off, Ellie calls Rudy, no power at the Marriage Barn, their wedding canceled, no slots until Spring. Ellie decides to get Ely host it in his barn. Jim thinks it’s crazy, but says go ahead figuring Ely won’t agree.

Essence: With Rudy’s venue out, Ellie suggests having the wedding at Ely’s.

Conflict: Jim with Ellie against having it at Ely’s.

Subtext: Ellie gets the idea that this was meant to be, including bringing Ely and Fred together.

Hope/fear: We fear they won’t get married to hope Ely will host it.

Beginning: Ellie and Jim struggle in the cold and dark, cell juice running out (Interesting Predicament Setting).

Middle: Rudy’s wedding venue is out (Nature & Grid Betray them)

Ending: Ellie dares to consider having it at Ely’s (Suspense).

42. INT. ELY’S RANCH HOUSE – DAY

After telling Ely about the wedding venue problem, that he wasn’t invited, and that she’ll be moving to Houston and renege on her commitment to him, Ellie has it tough getting him to host the wedding.

Essence: Ellie gets Ely to agree to host the wedding in his well-lit and warm barn.

Conflict: As Ellie tells each upsetting thing Ely gets more angry until he bursts out.

Subtext: Ellie is brave be that honest with Ely, because she knows he loves her, but she’s not foolish or brave enough to tell him Fred will be coming.

Hope/fear: Hope Ely will agree to host the wedding, then fear what will happen when Fred comes.

Beginning: Ellie tells each upsetting thing to Ely, making him all the more angry (Suspense, Uncomfortable Moment).

Middle: She asks to have the wedding in his barn; Ely explodes (Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: When he finally agrees (Ely’s slight Character Change), we worry what will happen when Fred comes (Suspense, Superior Position).

43. INT. ELLIE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Back home Ellie and Jim argue over the wedding at Ely’s until Jim caves in despair saying at least it’ll be fun to see the blow up between Ely and Fred. They call guests about the change.

Scene Arc: From arguing over whether to have it at Ely’s to calling guests to tell them the change.

Essence: They get busy making arrangements for the new venue.

Conflict: Jim opposes having it at Ely’s fearing a blowup, but mainly because he feels bad they dumped Ely earlier.

Subtext: Jim is a sensitive guy despairing, while Ellie has become the strong one with a thick shell.

Hope/fear: fear problems between the uncles, hope it will work somehow.

Beginning: Jim is against having it at Ely’s (External/Internal Dilemma).

Middle: Jim considers not inviting Fred, but Ellie opposes that (Jim’s Dilemma).

Ending: Jim finally agrees, expects disaster (Suspense).

44. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Ellie, Jim, and GUESTS arrive with supplies, get busy cleaning/decorating the barn, helping set up the alt energy batteries and generators. Fred is late. Ellie tells Ely that Fred is coming, be nice.

Scene Arc: From wedding guests arriving to setting things up.

Essence: Ellie, Jim, Ely and guests get the barn ready for the wedding.

Conflict: Several guests vie over the outlets to charge up their cell phones, Ely frustrated when people ignore his directives and blows up when he hears Fred is coming.

Subtext: This will be a wedding to remember.

Hope/fear: It will all come together for a great wedding, fear what will happen when Fred arrives.

Beginning: They get the barn ready for the wedding.

Middle: Ely fusses but is proud when Jim goes bonkers over his electrolyzer invention (Surprise: this could be a real money-maker, in addition to his bladeless vortex wind turbines).

Ending: Ely explodes on hearing Fred is coming (Suspense).

Scene Arc: tension and blow up between Ely and Fred to Jim owes Fred nothing and the couple makes their vows.

45. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

When Fred arrives with Gabby Fred snorts this certainly disproves global warming, rejecting Ely and Gecko’s explanation that such freezes are made more likely due to the warming.

Essence: Ely and Gecko explain global warming enhanced the great freeze, but Fred rejects that.

Conflict: Uncles try to be polite but get in an argument over global warming.

Subtext: Beneath the surface are issues between the uncles.

Hope/fear: fear wedding derailment when Fred arrives to hope they can keep it civil.

Beginning: Fred and Ely restrain themselves with tension and innuendo (Suspense).

Middle: They get into an argument about climate change (Surprise that climate change could have brought the freeze). Fred rejects it (Uncomfortable Moment, Suspense due to underlying tension).

Ending: Jim sides with Ely, Fred feels ganged upon, and Ellie sides with Fred saying it only makes it more likely.

46. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Ellie pleads with Fred to release Jim from his obligation. Fred confesses that Jim owes him nothing because he cheated Jim’s father. Ely explodes against Fred for stealing his love. Fred explains she also left him.

Essence: Jim is not obligated to Fred and the deeper wound between the uncles was over a woman.

Conflict: Ellie confronts Fred over Jim’s obligation to him, which leads to a big explosion about Fred stealing Ely’s love.

Subtext: Jim is released to live his own life. Ely’s wound is healing.

Hope/fear: fear the uncles and Ellie’s confrontation will obstruct the wedding, hope these don’t.

Beginning: We find out Jim is not obligated to Fred, Gabby was in on the deception for Jim’s sake (Mislead/Reveal, Surprise, Betrayal).

Middle: Ely hates Fred because Fred stole his love (Betrayal, Uncomfortable Moment).

Ending: Fred says she also left him, Ely softens, almost feels sorry for Fred (Character Change).

47. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Fred, intrigued by Ely’s inventions, discusses how they could market them. Others worry the energy won’t last and draw the focus back on the wedding.

Essence: Fred and Ely discuss marketing Ely’s inventions.

Conflict: Ellie and Jim have it hard getting Fred and Ely to refocus on the wedding before the power runs out.

Subtext: the two uncles again prevent the wedding

Hope/fear: the uncles get along, fear their new focus will obstruct the wedding.

Beginning: Jim shows Fred Ely’s inventions, Fred gets interested (Surprise).

Middle: Fred and Ely discuss marketing Ely’s invention, on & on & on (Twist).

Ending: Others worry power will run out preventing the wedding (Suspense).

48. EXT./INT. ELY’S RANCH – DAY

Jim and Ellie draw the focus back on the wedding and make their vows, but before the grand kiss cell phones beep that The Sea Turtle Rescue Center wants all to come save the cold-stunned turtles. They all rush out.

Essence: Wedding vows are made, then the Turtle Center calls all to help rescue the turtles.

Conflict: Nature disrupts the wedding — The Turtle Center has them all run out to save the turtles.

Subtext: all are concerned about the couple, and also the turtles.

Hope/fear: hope wedding goes smoothly, fear something will disrupt it; hope they can save the turtles, fear they can’t.

Beginning: The wedding is on again (Suspense – what can do wrong now?).

Middle: The couple finally makes their vows (Surprise, Relief, Joy).

Ending: Turtles in danger disrupts the event before the kiss (Final Twist – event cut short).

49. EXT. BEACH – DAY

Ellie, Jim, and guests, with locals, save cold-stunned turtles; Ely and others set up generators to warm them. The couple breaks for their wedding kiss.

Scene Arc: wedding party and others rescue 1000s of turtles saved to the couple kisses.

Essence: Turtles get saved, Ellie and Jim seal their wedding with the kiss.

Conflict: mad rushing around saving turtles against the ticking clock of nature.

Subtext: Ellie and Jim will be able to pursue ALL their plans and dreams and there is hope for planet earth.

Hope/fear: fear for the turtles’ safety, hope for a good future with concerned, active people.

Beginning: Ellie, Jim and all rush around saving the turtles (Interesting Setting, Uncertainty for turtles).

Middle: Ely, Fred, and others set up warming stations for the turtles with hydrogen electrolyzer, battery, AND gasoline generators.

Ending: Ellie and Jim have their wedding kiss knee deep in the frigid Gulf (Unusual end to the wedding).

• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Lynn Vincentnathan.
• This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  Lynn Vincentnathan.

[Ron Chepesiuk]

I’ve been trying to copy and paste my assignment to this dysfunctional system over the last two days to no avail. In any case, I can exchange.

[Dana Abbott]

WIM2 – Dana’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

My Vision: I intend to perfect my skills to become a successful screenwriter, scripting acclaimed and profitable films, recognized by my peers, and living an adventurous life.

What I learned during this assignment:

Putting together the elements of my outline, I learned how my characters were going to interact with each other through the entire script. And I was able to improve the scenes and fill in blanks.

GENRE: Thriller

Protagonist: Ruth Griffin

Antagonist: The Custodian

Supporting Character: Camila

Scene Arc: From Ruth reviving to realizing she’s been kidnapped for ransom.

1. INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: Ruth Griffin revives in the bottom of a smelting pot in an abandoned steel mill. Head covered in a black hood. Hands bound by duct tape.

Middle: Ruth removes the hood, bites off the tape, and stands. Above her, a full moon peeks through the remnants of a rotting ceiling. She explores the pot to fathom her situation and find a way to climb out. There isn’t one. The walls of pot are too tall. She cannot reach the lip.

End: She calls out, the echo of her call bounding through the mill. She yells louder, and frustrated, exasperated, and collapses, believing np-one is there. When she looks up to yell one final time, the Custodian is standing on the platform above her, watching.

Essence: Ruth has been kidnapped.

Conflict: She can’t find a way out of the pot.

Subtext: Is the kidnapper is psychotic?

Hope/Fear: We hope she escapes. We fear she will be harmed.

2. INT. SMELTING POT/PLATFORM – NIGHT

Beginning: Her kidnapper, the Custodian, cloaked in black, stands on the platform staring at Ruth from behind a mask. Nothing revealed. He never speaks.

Middle: Ruth demands answers, emphasizes her importance as a congressman’s wife and demands answers. He drops a newspaper to Ruth and instructs her to hold it up. Using a camera, takes a proof of life photo.

End: Defiant and with false bravado, Ruth yells at him. He listens to the echo bounce and fade through the steel mill. He points to the inside of the pot. In red letters a hand painted sign reads: “Shh! Be quiet. You’re not alone.” When Ruth looks up, he’s gone.

Essence: Ruth has been kidnapped for ransom

Conflict: She is defiant with her kidnapper.

Subtext: She is a woman of wealth/privilege

Hope/Fear: We hope she is released. We fear she will be harmed.

3. INT. SMALL ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: The Custodian sets up his remote computer to contact Ruth’s husband.

Middle: He emails a proof of life photo of Ruth to her husband and demands ransom for her return.

End: The husband responds affirming the ransom will be paid.

Essence: The Custodian wants money for Ruth’s return.

Conflict: The Custodian blackmails the husband.

Subtext: He will kill Ruth if he doesn’t get his money.

Hope/Fear: We hope the husbands pays the money. We fear Ruth will be killed anyway.

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth hoping for rescue to Ruth desperate not to be found by the drug gang.

4. INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: The sound of cars alerts Ruth someone has arrived. and she climbs to her feet. She is ready to call out but hesitates, reading the “silence” warning painted on the side of the pot.

Middle: She hears people exit the cars. Their voices echo, loud, harsh. She hears them pull another man from one of the cars. They begin to question him and torture into confession.

End: Realizing the danger, Ruth remains silent, fearing for her life. But her frightened breathing echoes in the pot, and she is soon discovered.

Essence: Ruth wants to be rescues, but she is wary of her rescuers.

Conflict: Will Ruth be discovered?

Subtext: She doesn’t know who has arrived.

Hope/Fear: We hope she will not be discovered. We fear she will be killed.

5. INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Beginning: Two cars roll into the mill. The engines turn off, lights stay on. Bosa, the gang leader, exits his car with several henchmen. His young girlfriend, Camila, tends the gang’s Rottweiler.

Middle: A man is dragged from the car and dropped to his knees in the lights. They question him and beat him. He’s an informer, and Bosa want to know who the man’s been talking to. When Bosa starts torturing him, Camila winces at the brutality.

End: When Bosa shots the man, the Rottweiler hears Ruth’s sudden gasp and breaks from Camila, racing up the ladder to the platform above the smelting pot. Camila is ordered to chase the dog.

Essence: Ruth must keep silent to avoid being found.

Conflict: The gang leader tortures the informant

Subtext: The mill is not safe.

Hope/Fear: Hope the gang doesn’t find Ruth. We fear they will kill her.

6. INT. SMELTING POT/PLATFORM – SAME

Beginning: Camila chases the Rottweiler to the platform and discovers Ruth in the bottom of the pot.

Middle: Fearing for her life, Ruth silently pleads with Camila not to expose her. When asked what she sees, Camila says “just rats,” not to expose Ruth, having watched the informant tortured. Bosa orders her to rejoin the gang.

End: Bosa kills the informant. Camila takes the dog and leaves Ruth in the pot. The drug gang climbs into their cars to leave. Camila loads the dog and climbs in, wondering about Ruth. The cars drive out, leaving the dead man behind.

Essence: Ruth is discovered by Camila and is witness to a murder

Conflict: Ruth begs Camila not to expose her.

Subtext: Ruth learns why she must remain quiet.

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila doesn’t expose Ruth. We fear Ruth will be killed.

7. INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Beginning: The Custodian is sitting in the dark, the tip of a lit cigar burning. He watched the entire scene from the shadows.

Middle: Ruth hears the gang leave the mill and collapses to the floor; her adrenaline drained. When she glances up, the Custodian is standing on the platform. He holds his finger to the lips of his mask. Shh!

End: Ruth realizes the danger surrounding her and submits to be silent.

Essence: The Custodian allows the drug gang to frighten Ruth into obedience.

Conflict: His non-action scares Ruth.

Subtext: He lets others to his dirty work.

Hope/Fear: We hope he doesn’t kill Ruth. We fear he will kill Ruth.

====================

Scene Arc: From the Custodian contacting the husband to learning the husband is involved.

8. INT. ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: Ruth’s husband contacts the Custodian via text.

Middle: They discuss the plan to kidnap Ruth, revealing her husband’s conspiracy to kill her.

End: The Custodian guarantees Ruth’s death – “Indirectly.”

Essence: Ruth’s husband is conspiring with the Custodian to kill Ruth.

Conflict: The Custodian plans to kill Ruth – “Indirectly.”

Subtext: Why does her husband want Ruth killed?

Hope/Fear: We hope they fail. We fear that they won’t.

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth’s life being in danger to Custodian saving her life

9. INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: A rattle snake, pursuing a rat, falls into the smelting pot. Ruth rolls-up the newspaper and uses her shoe to swat at the snake. When the snake strikes the newspaper, its fangs get stuck. Ruth grabs the tail and swings, slamming the snake into the side for the pit until it’s dead.

Middle: When Ruth flings the snake out of the pot, it sails past a grimy-looking derelict standing on the platform watching her. Realizing this moment is an opportunity to escape, Ruth begs him for help, first warning him about the Custodian.

He keeps asking questions, none too concerned about the Custodian, who doesn’t seem to be present. He calls out proving they’re alone. He locates and lowers an old ladder down to her, seemingly to help. But before Ruth can climb out, he climbs down into the smelting pot to assault her. Ruth fights him off but is knocked to the ground.

A rope is slung around the derelicts neck, and he’s yanked away from Ruth. The Custodian pulls him up the side of the pot inch by inch, strangling him. He loops the rope over a pully and heaves, stringing him up by the neck until his struggling stops.

End: The body is left hanging by the neck above the pot. Reluctantly, Ruth thanks the Custodian for saving her. Then blames him for her being there! A blanket and a bottle of water drop into the smelting pot.

Essence: Ruth must fight for her own survival.

Conflict: Ruth is assaulted by the derelict/Custodian kills the derelict

Subtext: The Custodian needs to keep her alive until the ransom is paid.

Hope/Fear: We first hope the derelict will help Ruth. We fear that he will assault her.

====================

Scene Arc 1: From Ruth’s husband negotiating the deal to Ruth learning her husband wants her dead.

Scene Arc 2: From Camila arrives to help Ruth to Camila being killed by the Custodian.

10. INT. EMPTY ROOM/SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: Ruth’s husband contacts the Custodian, this time by private text, confirming he’s outside the view of police. He wants to renegotiate the deal. The insurance will only pay double indemnity clause if Ruth is killed. He wants to pay half now – $1M – and half after Ruth is killed.

Middle: The Custodian demands full payment up front, as agreed. He realizes Ruth’s husband cannot be trusted to keep his end of the bargain. The husband wants to know how she will be killed. “Indirectly.”

End: The Custodian hears the singing and listens and, for a moment. Ruth, curled up under the blanket, softly sings a Bible hymn. It echoes through the mill. Does he have second thoughts.

Essence: Ruth’s husband plotting to keep half the money.

Conflict: The Custodian refuses to renegotiate.

Subtext: The husband cannot be trusted.

Hope/Fear: We hope the husband gets justice. We fear that he won’t.

11. INT. STEEL MILL/SMELTING POT/PLATFORM – NIGHT

Beginning: Nearly asleep, Ruth awakens to the sound of another car entering the mill. She tries to hide, believing it’s another drug gang, and plasters herself against the wall of the pot. She listens to the door open and close, and someone walk up the ladder to the platform.

Middle: Camila appears on the platform peering down at Ruth. She was curious about Ruth’s situation. Ruth explains fast, warning about the Custodian, and only then does Camila notice the derelict hanging in the rafters. She freaks and wants to flee. Ruth begs for help, and finally convinces Camila to drop her phone down for Ruth her phone to call the police.

End: Before Ruth can use the phone, the Custodian puts a knife through Camila’s back and drops the body into the pot. Ruth wraps Camila in the blanket, trying to keep her from dying. Camila succumbs to her wounds. Ruth crumbles emotionally, apologizing to Camila for killing her.

Essence: Camila returns, curious, wanting to help Ruth.

Conflict: The Custodian kills Camila.

Subtext: Ruth is alone. She going to be killed.

Hope/Fear: We hope Camila helps Ruth. We fear Ruth will be killed.

12. INT. SMELTING POT/PLATFORM – SAME

Beginning: Ruth screams at the Custodian for killing Camila, for kidnapping her, for everything. The Custodian demands the phone, and Ruth throws it passed his head, threatening to find him after her husband pays the ransom.

Middle: The Custodian tilts his head at her, then calls Ruth’s husband on his cell phone. He answers the call, instantly enraged that the Custodian had called him. Ruth realizes her husband is involved in her kidnapping and begins screaming at him. He quickly hangs ups.

End: Emotionally spent and betrayed, she demands to know why. The Custodian drops her wedding ring onto the blanket. She only now realizes her wedding ring was missing. The Custodian waggles his finger at her, and she now knows, intimating she was having an affair.

Essence: Ruth learns her husband is involved in her kidnapping.

Conflict: Ruth screams at her husband for his betrayal.

Subtext: Ruth must escape, or she will be killed.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth escapes. We fear she won’t.

13. INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Beginning: The Custodian texts Ruth’s husband demanding full payment, threatening to let Ruth live now that she knows her husband is involved.

Middle: Ruth’s husband agrees to pay $2M, but he wants assurances Ruth will be killed.

End: The Custodian promises to kill Ruth himself. But money first.

Essence: The Custodian wants the husband to fulfill his contract.

Conflict: The Custodian threatens the husband.

Subtext: Ruth’s husband fears being caught.

Hope/Fear: We hope the husband gets justice. We fear he won’t.

====================

Scene Arc: From the Custodian leaving to collect the ransom to Ruth climbing from the smelting pot.

14. INT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: When she hears the Custodian leave to collect the ransom, Ruth realizes she must now find a way to escape. She spies Camila’s car keys, having fallen out of her pocket, and realizes Camila’s car is parked in the mill.

Middle: She braces Camila’s body against the side of the pot and uses her as a step ladder to reach the lip of the pot. Not quite able to reach, she hooks the heel of her shoe over the lips. But the heel snaps off, and she falls hard into the pot.

End: Bruises and battered, she tries again, hooking her other shoe to lift her enough to grab the edge with her free hand. She pulls herself up and straddles the edge, but she can’t reach the platform.

Essence: Ruth climbs to the edge of the smelting pot.

Conflict: Ruth hating having to use Camila’s body to climb out.

Subtext: The Custodian has supplied her escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope she can climb out. We fear she will fall.

15. EXT. SMELTING POT – NIGHT

Beginning: Spying the derelict’s hanging body, she devises another plan. She slides down the edge where she can reach the derelict. She kicks at the man until his body swings close enough for her to grab. But the momentum pulls her off the edge, and the clings to the body for dear life.

Middle: Ruth climbs up his body, disgusted being this close to him. When she reaches his shoulders. she wraps herself to him, staring into his dead face with rage. She says nothing. She begins to swing herself toward the platform, closer and closer, reaching desperately. The knot in the robe begins to pull loose.

End: Ruth touches the platform but cannot hold on. The knot slips more and more. She grabs the platform as the knot gives way, and body falls to the ground. She dangles desperately and climbs onto the platform. She lays there, exhausted from the effort. She notices that she broke and nail and begins to laugh until she cries. She’s escaped.

Essence: Ruth escapes the pot.

Conflict: She uses the man who assaulted her.

Subtext: The Custodian has helped her escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth reaches the platform. We fear she will fall.

====================

Scene Arc: From Custodian finding Ruth gone to the Custodian being killed.

16. INT. STEEL MILL/PLATFORM – NIGHT

Beginning. She hears the Custodian’s car return and flees, barefoot, into the shadows of the mill.

Middle: The Custodian returns with the satchel of ransom money. He discovers Ruth has climbed from the pot, realizing he provided her with the mean to escape.

End: The Custodian drops the satchel on the platform, searches the mill from the platform, knowing she’s out there, hiding. He draws his knife and slides into the darkness, vanishing.

Essence: Ruth must evade the Custodian to escape.

Conflict: The Custodian must now kill Ruth.

Subtext: The Custodian realizes he allowed her to escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth will kill the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill Ruth.

17. INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Beginning: Ruth sees the Custodian meld into the darkness vanish. She winds her way toward Camila’s car in her bare feet.

Middle: The Custodian is nowhere to be seen. Ruth creeps from the shadows into the moonlight and approaches the driver’s door. When she opens the door, the Rottweiler lunges at her from the back seat. Startled, she falls backward, the door partially open, the Rottweiler desperately trying to get to her, nosing the door open.

End: The Custodian appears form nowhere. Ruth bolts into the machinery and shadows. The Rottweiler noses open the door and gives chase.

Essence: Ruth’s escape is foiled.

Conflict: Ruth fights off the Rottweiler.

Subtext: Ruth will not be allowed to escape.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth will kill the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill Ruth.

18. INT. STEEL MILL – SAME

Beginning: Ruth eludes the Rottweiler, running up a ladder to the opposite platform. She grabs a pipe and swing, striking the dog and sending him whining into the dark.

Middle: The Custodian is coming up the ladder. Ruth ducks into the shadows again, waiting with the pipe in ambush. She strikes, knocking the Custodian down, dropping his knife.

End: Ruth swings to finish him off, but he grabs the pipe and yanks it from her. Ruth runs off again.

Essence: Ruth fights the Custodian.

Conflict: Will Ruth will the fight?

Subtext:

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth kills the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill her.

19. INT. STEEL MILL/CATWALK – NIGHT

Beginning: Running across the catwalk, her bare foot digs into something sharp. Ruth cries out and lands hard. Wounded, the Custodian climbs to his feet, and gives chase.

Middle: Ruth hobbles to her feet and limps away fast with the Custodian behind her.

End: Cornered on the platform above the smelting pot, Ruth cannot escape. She grabs anything she can find as a weapon – a piece of sharp mettle – and faces off with the Custodian as he approaches.

Essence: Ruth battles the Custodian.

Conflict: Will Ruth will the fight?

Subtext: David and Goliath.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth kills the Custodian. We fear the Custodian will kill her.

20. INT. PLATFORM – SAME

Beginning: Ruth fights him off, jabbing at him with a piece of sharp metal, slicing him once. He slaps her down, mettle flying from her hand. The Custodian grabs the sharp mettle for himself and moves in for the kill.

Middle: The Rottweiler charges from nowhere and attacks, slamming into the Custodian. He stabs at the dog, wounding it, but trips over the bag of money. As he falls, his phone drops out from his pocket.

End: Ruth crawls to the edge and peers over. The Custodian lays dead in the smelting pot. The dog limps up to her and sits. She finds the Custodian’s phone.

Essence: Ruth loses the fight.

Conflict: The Rottweiler attacks the Custodian.

Subtext: Camila – her dog – helped Ruth escape after all.

Hope/Fear: We hope the Custodian is dead. We fear he is not.

====================

Scene Arc: From Ruth’s husband feigning concern to Ruth trapping him.

21. INT/EXT. STEEL MILL – NIGHT

Beginning: The police have arrived to conduct their investigation.

Middle: The derelict and the informer are zipped into body bags.

End: Ruth’s husband arrives feigning concern for Ruth.

Essence: The resolution of the crime.

Conflict: The husband demanding to see his wife.

Subtext: Ruth’s trying to save his own ass.

Hope/Fear: We hope he gets justice. We fear he going to escape.

INT/EXT. AMBULANCE – NIGHT

Beginning: An ambulance attendant tends to Ruth in the back of the ambulance. The Rottweiler sits at her side, bandaged.

Middle: Her husband joins Ruth in the ambulance and attempts to talk his way out of trouble. Ruth reveals the Custodian’s cell phone containing text messages. She pets her new dog and tilts her head at him the same way the Custodian tilted his head at her.

End: The ambulance doors slam shut. He’s trapped. The ambulance drives off.

Essence: Ruth gets even with her husband.

Conflict: Ruth shows her husband the Custodian’s phone.

Subtext: Ruth owns her husband/He’s trapped.

Hope/Fear: We hope Ruth gets revenge. We fear she’s going to kill him.

====================

Scene Arc: From police cleaning up the scene to the Custodian vanishing.

22. INT. STEEL MILL – NIGHT

Beginning: The police investigate the scene. The lead detective leads his captain through the scene.

Middle: They retrieve the girl’s body from the smelting pot. No-one can identify her. But then know she was of Bosa’s group. They order the rescue team to retrieve the Custodian’s body.

End: What body? The detectives race up to the platform and peer down. The Custodian has vanished. He wasn’t dead. He’s escaped. Vanished.

Essence: The Custodian isn’t dead.

Conflict: The Custodian has escaped.

Subtext: We never know his identity.

Hope/Fear: We hope he’s gone. We fear he will return.

[Amy Falkofske]

Amy’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

Vision: I want to become known as an expert in the family-friendly genre and make a full-time living as a screenwriter.

What I learned from doing this assignment is this is an important step to fleshing out what is happening in each scene and prepares you to write. This is a work in progress. I’m going to continue working on this.

Title: Unroyally in Love

Act 1:

1. INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

While visiting with her best friend, Chloe, Stephanie learns of a glitch in her schedule and declares that she’s not going to attend the masquerade ball, one of the biggest royal events of the year, until her mother the queen sets her straight.

Scene Arc: From calm and happy to enraged and then back to calm

Essence: Stephanie throws a royal fit

Conflict: Stephanie is mad at the person who messed up her schedule

Subtext: Stephanie is self-centered.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will be nice and forgiving to the poor lady who messed up her schedule

Beginning (Mislead)-Stephanie and Chloe are planning their outfits for the ball until someone from the staff comes in and tells Stephanie she is scheduled to appear at the symphony concert the same night.

Middle (external dilemma)- Stephanie can’t not attend the ball and she can’t let the symphony down either.

End (Reveal)- Stephanie flies into a rage until her mother comes in and tells her that the wrong date was written in her calendar and the symphony is actually on a different night.

2. INT. – BALLROOM – NIGHT

The queen introduces Stephanie and formerly opens up the ball.

Essence: Stephanie is introduced

3. INT. – BALLROOM -NIGHT

Stephanie dances with a handsome stranger at the masquerade ball, who turns out to be Prince Jack from the country next door who she hates. He acts like he doesn’t know who she is while simultaneously trying to woo her. She is insulted and demands to know who he is and how he got into the ball, until he reveals himself. Then she gets angry and the two spar verbally.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from enjoying the ball to getting into a fight with Jack.

Essence: Show that Stephanie and Jack have known each other their whole lives and they don’t like each other.

Conflict: Stephanie and Jack fight.

Subtext: Stephanie is a spoiled princess and Jack is arrogant and self-absorbed

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will like this handsome stranger that is coming on to her.

Beginning (intrigue)-Stephanie is approached by a handsome stranger with a mask who asks her to dance.

Middle (uncomfortable moment) – The handsome stranger doesn’t know Stephanie is the princess.

End (surprise) – The handsome stranger is Prince Jack from the country next door who definitely know who Stephanie is and who she hates.

4. INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

A historian visits the castle and to talk to Stephanie, Ava and Willis and informs them that he’s looking into the legitimacy of the royal line. Stephanie throws herself on the nearest couch and sobs.

Scene Arc: Everyone is happy to everyone is distraught.

Essence: The royal family finds out they may not be royal

Conflict: The royal family may not be royal

Subtext: What is going to happen to Stephanie and her mother?

Hope/fear: Fear that the Stephanie and her mother may have their lives upended

Beginning (mystery) – The royal historian visits. What does he want?

Middle (major twist)- The historian tells the royal family they may not be royal.

End (cliffhanger) – Stephanie and her mom have to wait for the historian to do more research to find out if they’re royal or not.

5. EXT. – GARDEN – DAY

Stephanie discusses the possibility of not being royal with Chloe and the two brainstorm about what she can do.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is distraught to Stephanie has been talked off the ledge by Chloe

Essence: Stephanie and Chloe brainstorm what Stephanie is going to do.

Conflict: Stephanie may not be royal

Subtext: Stephanie doesn’t know any other life besides being royal. How is she going to survive this?

Hope/fear: That Stephanie and Chloe will come up with some brilliant plan to stop this from happening.

6. INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

The historian informs the family that they are not royals. Says he will keep his mouth shut for now, but tells them they must decide how they are going to proceed.

Scene Arc: The family goes from fear of what the historian might say to being devastated.

Essence: Stephanie and her mother find out they’re not royal

Conflict: Stephanie and her mother are not royal.

Subtext: What will Stephanie and her mother do? What happens next?

Hope/fear: Fear of what happens to Stephanie and her mother now.

7. EXT. – GRAVEYARD – DAY

Stephanie visits her father’s grave wearing a tiara to talk to him about what’s just happened and vows that she will do what he would have done in this situation.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is distraught to feeling better after talking to her father.

Essence: Stephanie talks to her father about what has just transpired.

Conflict: Stephanie refuses to accept that she’s not royal.

Subtext: Stephanie can’t accept any other reality than being royal.

Hope/fear:

8. EXT. – (SOME RIBBON CUTTING CEREMONY in Jack’s country) – DAY

The historian runs into Jack and casually mentions that Stephanie’s family is not really royal.

Scene Arc: Jack is happily going about his business to being disturbed by the historian’s news.

Essence: Jack finds out that Stephanie is not royal after all.

Conflict: Jack challenges the historian when he gives him the news.

Subtext: Jack will protect Stephanie.

Hope/fear: That Jack will punch the historian.

9. INT. – SITTING ROOM – DAY

Jack approaches Stephanie and Ava about helping them with their predicament. Stephanie emphatically says no.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is mildly annoyed by Jack’s visit to completely enraged that he thinks she needs his help.

Essence: Jack offers help to Stephanie.

Conflict: Stephanie doesn’t want help from Jack. She’s irritated at just the thought of it.

Subtext: Romantic tension between Jack and Stephanie.

Hope/fear: Stephanie will accept Jack’s help.

10. INT. – CAFÉ – DAY

Historian meets with a member of the press and the leaks the news about Stephanie’s family not being royal.

Scene Arc: A casual meeting between the historian and Clara to the historian dropping a bomb (that Stephanie and her family are not royal)

Essence: The historian leaks the news to the press.

Conflict: Clara refuses to believe the historian at first.

Hope/fear: That Clara will brush the historian off and not report on what he told her

Beginning (intrigue)-the historian meets Clara the reporter in a café

Middle (betrayal) The historian tells Clara that Stephanie and Ava are not really royal.

End (internal dilemma) – the reporter isn’t sure she believes the historian. If he’s wrong and she reports it her career would be over. If he’s right and the doesn’t report it, she misses the story of the century.

11. INT. – (SOME ROOM IN THE CASTLE WHERE THERE IS A tv) – DAY

Stephanie, Avis and Willis watch in horror as the news reports that they are not the true royal family. They show scenes of the country in chaos.

Scene Arc: Stephanie, Ava and Willis go from suffering their fate in private to it now being very public.

Essence: The country finds out that Stephanie and Ava are not royal.

Conflict: The news of the royal family not being royal becomes public and the country is in chaos.

Subtext: What will the royal family do now?

Hope/fear: That the country will become unstable and everything will only get worse.

Beginning (superior position) – Clara teases the next news segment by saying she has breaking news about the royal family.

Middle (surprise) – Clara reports that Stephanie and Ava are not really royal.

End (uncertainty) – Cameras record reactions from around the country. There is unrest in the land. Clara wonders on air who the rightful royal family is.

12. INT. OFFICE – DAY

The politicians in the country demand that Stephanie’s family vacate the castle.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and her mom at least have a place to live to deal with their predicament to essentially becoming homeless.

Essence: Stephanie and Ava get kicked out of the castle.

Conflict: Stephanie and Ava argue with the politicians.

Subtext: What will Stephanie and Ava do now?

Hope/fear: That Stephanie and Ava have no place to go.

Beginning (suspense) Members of parliament visit the castle. What do they want?

Middle (major twist) The members of parliament want Stephanie and Ava to vacate the castle.

End (cliffhanger) Stephanie and Ava realize they have nowhere to go.

13. INT. – PRESS ROOM – DAY

Historian identifies the rightful princess, but no one has any idea where she is. The press and all the politicians vow to find her.

Scene Arc: Everyone is curious to hear from the historian. Then they are shocked to hear the name of the rightful princess.

Essence: The historian identifies the rightful princess.

Conflict: No one knows anything about the rightful princess or where she might be.

Subtext: Stephanie has competition now.

Hope/fear: That the rightful princess will come forward and take everything away from Stephanie and her mother.

Beginning (mystery)- The historian says he has an announcement.

Middle (surprise) – The historian has identified the woman who is the rightful princess

End (cliffhanger) – The historian announces he has no idea where this woman is.

14. INT. – OFFICE – DAY

Stephanie’s mom, Ava convinces her to accepts Jack’s help. Stephanie calls Jack to inform him.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is adamant that they will not accept help from Jack to Stephanie concedes to accepting help from Jack.

Essence: Ava convinces Stephanie to accept help from Jack.

Conflict: Stephanie fights with her mom about accepting help from Jack.

Subtext: Stephanie is too proud to accept help, especially from someone she hates.

Hope/fear: Stephanie will accept help from Jack so she and her mother won’t be homeless.

15. INT. – JACK’S CASTLE – DAY

Jack discusses helping Stephanie with his father the king. His father doesn’t want him to do it. Jack says he’s going to help her anyway.

Scene Arc: Jack and his father, Brandon are cordial with one another to them being angry at one another.

Essence: Jack tells his father he offered to help Stephanie.

Conflict: Jack’s father doesn’t want Jack to help Stephanie.

Subtext: Jack and his father have a broken relationship.

Hope/fear: That Jack and his father will come to an agreement.

Beginning (superior position) Jack tells his father he wants to discuss something with him. His father is happy to talk to him.

Middle: (surprise) Jack’s father is against Jack helping Stephanie and her mother.

End (uncomfortable moment) – Jack’s father tells Jack to go ahead and help them but says he doesn’t think it’s a very good idea.

16. INT. – JACK’S CASTLE – SITTING ROOM – DAY

Jack tells Rob that he’s going to try to get Stephanie to fall in love with him. He considers it a challenge and it will finally get her to stop hating him and he will have won.

Scene Arc: Jack and Rob are casually talking to Jack has cooked up a devious plan to get Stephanie to fall for him to get Stephanie to fall in love with him.

Essence: Jack decides to try to get Stephanie to fall in love with him.

Conflict: Rob warns Jack against playing with Stephanie’s feelings.

Subtext: Jack is arrogant and self-absorbed.

Hope/fear: Rob will be able to talk Jack out of planning to manipulate Stephanie’s feelings.

17. EXT. – CASTLE – DAY

The press surrounds Stephanie and Ava the day they leave the castle.

Scene Arc:

Essence: Stephanie and Ava leave the castle in disgrace as the country looks on.

Conflict: Stephanie and Ava have to avoid the rude questioning by the press.

Subtext: Stephanie and Ava are humiliated.

Beginning (superior position) The press surround Stephanie and Ava the day they leave the castle and want to know where they’re going, but neither one of them speaks.

Middle (uncomfortable moment) The press ask Stephanie and Ava pointed questions about whether they are homeless, disgraced, humiliated.

End (reveal) – Stephanie tells the press they are going to Prince Jack’s summer house until this whole mess is straightened out.

18. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE IN STEPHANIE’S COUNTRY – DAY

Stephanie and Ava get settled in. Jack and Stephanie spar.

Scene Arc: Stephanie thanks Jack through gritted teeth for his hospitality. Then they get into a fight.

Essence: Stephanie and Ava settle in to Jack’s summer home.

Conflict: Stephanie and Jack fight.

Subtext: Romantic tension.

Act 2:

19. INT- JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack and Rob give Stephanie lessons on how to become a commoner.

Scene Arc: Awkwardness between Jack and Rob and Stephanie to the three laughing.

Essence: Stephanie gets her first lesson on how to become a commoner.

Conflict: Stephanie fights Rob and Jack at first.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not a commoner.

Hope/fear:

Beginning (uncomfortable moment) Stephanie must submit to Jack’s instruction and his friend Rob looking on, despite her hatred of him.

Middle (uncertainty) Stephanie responds to Jack and Rob’s quizzes on how to behave as a commoner in a way that is both hilarious and makes it seem like there’s no hope for this mission.

End (internal dilemma) Stephanie falls apart. She’s been a royal her whole life. She’s not sure she can ever be a commoner. She leaves the room in tears.

20. INT. – STORE – DAY

Stephanie lets Jack take her shopping like commoners do. Completely out of her element, Stephanie starts ordering everyone in the store around. She and Jack have to leave in shame.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and Jack walk quietly into the store and by the time they leave, it’s chaos.

Essence: Stephanie makes a scene at the store.

Conflict: Stephanie orders people around and makes everyone mad.

Subtext: Stephanie is selfish and self-centered and has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie won’t mess this up.

Beginning (uncertainty) Jack and Stephanie walk into the store seemingly unnoticed but look around nervously. Jack picks up a handbasket.

Middle (surprise) Everything is going fine until Stephanie can’t find spaghetti sauce. She summons some unfortunate woman who happens to be walking by and demands that she find the spaghetti sauce. When the woman refuses, Stephanie becomes incensed and starts making a scene.

End (uncomfortable moment) Jack has to drag Stephanie out of the store in shame with everyone looking on and everyone having realized who they are.

21. EXT. – PARK – NIGHT

Stephanie meets with a private detective and asks him to investigate the historian that outed her family.

Scene Arc: Stephanie makes a mysterious phone call. Stephanie plans to get some dirt on the historian.

Essence: Stephanie contacts a detective to get him to investigate the historian.

Conflict: Stephanie’s scheme against the historian.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal.

Hope/fear: The detective will agree to help Stephanie.

Beginning (mystery) Stephanie slips away from everyone to make a mysterious phone call.

Middle (surprise) Stephanie is talking to a private detective. She asks him to investigate the royal historian.

End (superior position) Jack has been listening at the door.

22. INT. – ART GALLERY – DAY

Jack takes Stephanie to a park to interact with commoners. Although Stephanie doesn’t interact with the commoners well, she and Jack start to enjoy each other’s company.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and Jack go from being unnoticed to attracting the paparazzi and having to leave the park.

Essence: Jack takes Stephanie to the park to interact with commoners, but it doesn’t go well.

Conflict: Between Stephanie and the press

Subtext: Stephanie thinks she’s too good to interact with commoners.

Hope/fear: That Jack and Stephanie will get closer. That this little outing will be successful for Stephanie. Fear that Stephanie will mess it up like at the store.

Beginning (more interesting setting) Stephanie and Jack visit an art gallery where a famous artist is giving a lecture. At first, they just look at paintings unnoticed because the gallery is mostly empty.

Middle (misinterpretation) Where the speaker is already in the middle of his/her speech, Stephanie demands to be shown to the front of the room to one of the best seats. Jack explains that that’s not what commoners do. She starts to argue with him. They make a scene.

End (uncomfortable moment) The press is now more interested in Stephanie than the speaker. The whole event is ruined. Stephanie is embarrassed and runs out of the gallery with Jack following behind.

23. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE- NIGHT

Jack, Stephanie, Ava, Chloe, Rob and Jack’s father, Brandon all have dinner together. Sparks fly between Chloe and Rob. Jack and his father argue.

Scene Arc: Everyone is having a nice dinner to Jack and his father fighting and everything turning awkward.

Essence: Everyone at the summer house spending time together.

Conflict: Jack and his father fight.

Subtext: The dysfunction in Jack and Brandon’s relationship. Sparks between Rob and Chloe

Hope/fear: That the dinner will end as pleasantly as it started.

Beginning (suspense) Stephanie, Ava, Chloe, Jack, Brandon and Rob are all seated at the dinner table. It’s a weird mix of people and no one is sure what to say.

Middle (uncomfortable moment) Everyone starts the discuss the elephant in the room, Stephanie and Ava not being royal. Everyone has an opinion. Soon, Jack and Brandon are the only ones having the discussion. Brandon makes it clear he doesn’t think he and Jack getting involved is a good idea.

End (external dilemma) Jack must state whether he’s going to follow his father’s wishes and get in his good graces or continue to help Stephanie.

24. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – BEDROOM – NIGHT

Stephanie informs her mother that she’s talking to a detective.

Scene Arc: Stephanie and her mother having a pleasant conversation to having a disagreement by the end.

Essence: Stephanie informs her mother that she’s hired a detective to investigate the historian.

Conflict: Ava doesn’t want Stephanie to work with the detective.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she and her mother are not royal.

Hope/fear: That Ava will go along with Stephanie’s plan

Beginning (mislead) Stephanie and her mother discuss what they’re going to do about their predicament.

Middle (reveal) Stephanie reveals to her mother that’s she hired a detective to look into the investigator and put a stop to all this nonsense.

End (external dilemma) Stephanie ends of fighting with her mother who wants to just accept what has happened. Stephanie must choose between what her mother wants and what she wants.

25. EXT. – PARK – NIGHT

Stephanie meets with the detective who informs her the historian is squeaky clean, albeit mean. Stephanie becomes enraged. Clara the reporter pops out from behind a tree and confesses that she has the whole conversation on camera.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from being hopeful to being angry.

Essence: Stephanie finds out from the detective that he couldn’t find any dirt on the historian.

Conflict: Stephanie gets angry with the detective.

Subtext: Stephanie has no intention of accepting that she’s not royal, even now.

Hope/fear:

Beginning (intrigue) Stephanie sneaks into the park and meets the detective.

Middle (superior position) Clara, the reporter is hiding behind a tree.

End (surprise) The detective tells Stephanie that the historian is squeaky clean, albeit mean.

26. EXT. – PARK – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS

Clara jumps out from behind a tree with her cameraman and says she caught the whole conversation on camera.

Essence: Stephanie is confronted by Clara and finds out that she is going to be exposed.

Conflict: Stephanie threatens Clara if she airs the tape.

Subtext: Stephanie is about to get an even worse reputation

Beginning (surprise) Clara jumps out from behind the tree with her camera man and tells Stephanie she got her whole conversation on camera.

Middle (betrayal) Stephanie asks Clara how she knew they were there. Clara says the detective told her.

End (external dilemma) Stephanie threatens Clara if she airs the tape. Then Clara has her on tape threatening a reporter. Now things are worse for her.

27. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Everyone watches in horror as the events in the park are displayed on the news for all the world to see.

Scene Arc: Everyone is happy to everyone is horrified.

Essence: Everyone at the summer realize what happened at the park and that Stephanie has been even more humiliated.

Conflict: Brandon becomes angry with Jack.

Subtext: Brandon is about to give Jack an ultimatum.

Hope/fear: Things are even worse for Stephanie now than they were before.

Beginning (suspense) Everyone at the summer house watches Clara announce that she has breaking news about Princess Stephanie.

Middle (uncomfortable moment) Everyone watches in horror as the news station plays the video that Clara got earlier. They point out that Stephanie has been seen with Prince Jack a lot lately. Then enrages Brandon.

End (cliffhanger) Everyone realizes they have no idea where Stephanie is and she’s not answering her phone. Brandon demands to speak to Jack privately.

28. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Brandon demands that Jack stop helping Stephanie because it’s bad PR for the family. They argue and Jack leaves angry.

Scene Arc: Brandon is angry with Jack to Jack becoming angry and walking out.

Essence: Brandon demands that Jack distance himself from Stephanie in public.

Conflict: Jack and his father fight about Jack helping Stephanie.

Subtext: Jack has no plans to stop helping Stephanie.

Hope/fear: That Jack and his father will come to an agreement.

Beginning (suspense)- What is Brandon going to say to Jack?

Middle (surprise) Brandon wants Jack to distance himself from Stephanie in public

End (external dilemma) Jack has to choose between obey his father or helping Stephanie.

29. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack informs Stephanie that he can no longer help her in public, though she and her mother can still stay at his family’s house until they figure out where they are going to go. He accidently lets it slip that he’s

fallen for her.

Scene Arc: Jack is informing Stephanie that he can longer help her publicly but will help her privately. By the end of the scene, he has accidently let it slip that he’s fallen for her.

Essence: Jack informs Stephanie that he has to distance himself from her publicly.

Conflict: Jack is going to defy his father and help Stephanie in secret.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

Beginning (suspense) What will Jack tell Stephanie?

Middle (surprise) Stephanie confesses it wasn’t going that well anyway.

End (internal dilemma) Can Stephanie realistically live as a commoner, or is she too set in her ways.

30. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Jack confesses to Rob that he’s fallen for Stephanie for real and that he’s going to pursue her. He teases Rob about his budding relationship with Chloe.

Essence: Jack confesses to Rob that he has feelings for Stephanie and that he’s going to pursue her.

31. EXT. – STREETS – NIGHT

Stephanie sneaks out of the castle one night in a disguise and walks through town. She sees homeless people on the street. She talks to a father who is getting off work from his second job to support his family. She walks by an orphanage and sees all of the children through a window. She talks to a homeless woman and realizes that she is one everyone has been looking for, the rightful princess, but she keeps it to herself.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is unaware of the suffering in her kingdom to being very much aware of it.

Essence: Stephanie sees the real people in her kingdom for the first time

Conflict: What will Stephanie do with her newfound knowledge of the rightful princess.

Subtext: Stephanie has been very self-centered up until this point.

Hope/fear: That meeting the rightful princess will really mess things up for Stephanie

Beginning (suspense)-Stephanie sneaks out of the castle. Where is she going?

Middle (surprise) Stephanie walks by the orphanage and sees the children in the window. She’s touched. She continues walking and comes across a man on his way home from his second job. It turns out he’s a single father trying to provide for his family. This touches Stephanie too.

End (major twist) Stephanie comes across a homeless woman and starts talking to her. She finds out her name. It’s the woman who identified as being the rightful princess. Stephanie walks off without saying anything else to her.

32. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Stephanie calls a lawyer to find out what her options are for keeping her royal title. He tells her he’ll look into it. He tells her he doesn’t think there’s anything he can do.

Scene Arc: Stephanie goes from hopeful to deflated.

Essence: Stephanie is grasping at one last straw to remain royal.

Conflict: Stephanie argues with the lawyer

Subtext: Stephanie knows who/where the rightful princess is, but she’s still trying to hold on to her title.

Hope/fear: That the lawyer will be able to help her.

33. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – DAY

Ava advises Stephanie to do something to improve her public image.

Scene Arc: A nice moment between mother and daughter to an argument to the two being in agreement

Essence: Ava tries to convince Stephanie to do something to improve her public image

Conflict: Stephanie doesn’t want to go along with her mother’s idea at first

Subtext: Stephanie is still hoping to remain the princess.

Hope/fear: That Stephanie will agree to do something good for her kingdom.

Act 3:

34. INT. – PRESS ROOM – DAY

Stephanie announces an initiative to help the orphanage she came across while she was out wondering the streets.

Essence: Stephanie announces that she’s starting an initiative to help the orphanage.

Beginning (suspense) Stephanie holds a press conference. What will she say?

Middle (surprise) Stephanie announces that she’s starting an initiative to help the orphanage.

End (superior position) Someone asks Stephanie if there’s anything else she’d like to tell them. She thinks for a minute and then says no.

35. INT. – ORPHANAGE – DAY

Stephanie visits all of the children. She makes a plea to the public to help the kids.

Essence: Stephanie makes a public appearance at the orphanage and asks the public to help the kids.

Subtext: Although Stephanie is speaking on behalf of the kids, she is enjoying the favorable attention from the press.

36. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE

Jack surprises Stephanie with a fancy dinner and a private concert. He also surprises her with clothing and toy donations for the orphanage.

Scene Arc: Stephanie doesn’t know what’s going on to finding out she is on a fancy date with Jack.

Essence: Jack and Stephanie have a date.

Beginning (suspense) Stephanie shows up on the terrace not sure why she’s there ( she got an anonymous note) to find a table set up for a candlelight dinner. Jack appears.

Middle (surprise) Jack takes Stephanie to a room just inside where there are toys and kids’ clothes for the orphanage. She is touched.

End (surprise) Jack has hired a string quartet to play for them while they eat.

37. INT. – ORPHANAGE – DAY

Stephanie, Chloe, Rob and Ava work at the orphanage to sort clothing and toy donations that have come in.

38. INT. JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

The news reports on Stephanie’s good work with the orphanage and paint her in a favorable light once again.

39. EXT. – ORPHANGE – DAY

Stephanie is drawn to the cameras and seems to have forgotten about the children. The reporter keeps asking her about the children, but she keeps wanting to talk about the fact that she’s still the princess. The reporter her asks her what about the children. She says who? And the crowd turns on her.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out being adored by the press and public and by the end of the scene everyone has turned on her.

Essence: Stephanie gets caught up in the attention that helping the orphanage is bringing to her and forgets about the kids.

Conflict: Stephanie is in conflict with the public.

Subtext: Stephanie is still the same.

Hope/fear: Fear that Stephanie is once in the bad graces of her country

40. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Everyone watches in horror once again as the press accuses Stephanie of helping the orphanage for selfish reasons. Stephanie is mortified.

41. INT. – DINING ROOM – NIGHT

Jack snubs Stephanie at dinner.

Essence: A dinner, Jack snubs Stephanie.

Conflict: Jack snubs Stephanie causing her to be angry with him.

Subtext: Jack is having second thoughts about Stephanie.

42. INT. – BEDROOM – NIGHT

Stephanie sobs on the phone to Chloe.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is very distraught and then feeling a little better after talking to Chloe.

Essence: Stephanie confides in Chloe about her feelings for Jack.

43. EXT. – GARDEN – NIGHT

Stephanie confides to her mother that she finally sees how selfish she’s been and how it’s hurt the ones she loves. She vows to change.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out not understanding why things are happening the way they are to realizing that she has been the cause of all her problems.

Essence: Stephanie realizes how selfish she’s been and how she’s hurt the ones she loves.

Conflict: Stephanie fights with herself as the talks to her mom.

Subtext: Stephanie’s transformation from a self-centered person into a caring person.

Hope/fear:

Act 4 Climax:

44. EXT. – STREETS – DAY

Stephanie goes to the place where she found the homeless woman, the rightful princess and gives her the news that she’s a princess.

Scene Arc: Stephanie is searching the streets for the homeless woman who is the rightful princess. She finds her and gives her the news that she’s the princess.

Essence: Stephanie seeks out the rightful princess and tells her she’s the princess.

Conflict: Stephanie has trouble finding the homeless woman she found the other night.

Subtext: Stephanie has changed.

Hope/fear: Both hope and fear that Stephanie will find the woman

45. INT. – CASTLE – DAY

Stephanie announces to the staff that she has the rightful princess. Willis comes to help her.

Scene Arc: Stephanie brings in the homeless woman to a surprised Willis. Stephanie has to convince Willis she’s the princess. Then he agrees to help her.

Essence: Stephanie introduces the rightful princess to the palace staff

Conflict: The staff doesn’t accept the homeless woman as the princess at first.

Hope/fear: The staff will help the homeless woman.

Montage:

Stephanie making over the homeless woman into a princess.

46. INT. – CASTLE – NIGHT

Stephanie holds a press event where she gives a passionate speech and presents the homeless woman as the country’s real princess and indirectly tells Jack that she loves him.

Scene Arc: It’s just a normal press conference until Stephanie presents the rightful princess and causes a frenzy.

Essence: Stephanie introduces the rightful princess to the country

Conflict: The press is hostile towards Stephanie at first.

Subtext: Stephanie indirectly but very publicly tells Jack that she loves him.

Hope/fear: Stephanie’s message to Jack will soften his heart towards her.

47. INT. -JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Jack watches Stephanie’s speech on TV.

Scene Arc: Jack is stoic and judgmental as he watches Stephanie. Then he touched.

Essence: Jack learns that Stephanie loves him.

Conflict: Jack doesn’t want to watch Stephanie’s speech at first and almost leaves.

Subtext: Stephanie is telling Jack that she loves him.

Hope/fear: Jack’s heart will be softened by Stephanie’s speech.

48. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – NIGHT

Jack stands up to his father and announces that he’s going after Stephanie. The two reconcile. His father recognizes that he’s ready to be king and says he will announce that he’s stepping down.

Scene Arc: Jack and his father don’t see eye to eye, but after Jack stands up to him, his father has a newfound respect for him and the two reconcile.

Essence: Jack stands up to his father and the two reconcile.

Conflict: Jack stands up to his father.

Subtext: Jack can stand on his own now.

Hope/fear: Jack will win his father over.

49. INT. – CASTLE – NIGHT

The new princess gives Stephanie a thank you allowance and makes her an ambassador for the country.

Essence: The new princess thanks Stephanie by making her an ambassador for the country.

Subtext: All is right in the kingdom again.

50. INT. – JACK’S SUMMER HOUSE – LATER

Stephanie shows up and announces that she’ll be leaving Jack’s house and finding her own place. He tells he that he was wrong about her and that he’s madly in love with her. She confesses that she’s in love with him too. He proposes to her in front of his father, Rob, Chloe and Ava. She accepts. Everyone laughs and cries and congratulates the happy couple. Stephanie is going to be royalty after all.

Scene Arc: Stephanie starts out with plans to leave Jack’s house but ends up getting engaged to Jack.

Essence: Jack and Stephanie get engaged.

Conflict: Stephanie is going to leave Jack’s house.

Hope/fear: Jack and Stephanie will get together.

[Renee Miller]

Renee’s Fascinating Scene Outline

My Vision: I will work hard to become a well-respected writer who gets my movies produced and has enough work to keep me busy and keep the lights on.

What I learned from doing this assignment is that it is much harder to add in interest techniques to a horror/thriller than I thought. I figured that the horror/thriller genre naturally lends itself to having interest techniques in every scene, but I’ve found out it is just the opposite. I still have a ways to go until this outline is 100% filled out but I got the blanks filled in that I could fill in and the rest will have to come as I go through the exchange process.

1. Ext. Forest – Night

A father checks on his kids in their tent.

Beginning: (Interesting Setting): The family is camping deep in the backcountry.

Middle: (Suspense): There’s rustling in the bushes near the tents.

End: (Creating a future): Is the family going to be alright?

Scene Arc: Goes from checking on his kids to returning to his tent.

Essence: The dad is checking on his kids.

Conflict: Will the kids stay asleep or will he wake them up.

Subtext: The dad doesn’t know the danger that is coming.

Hope/fear: We hope they stay asleep. We’re afraid they will wake up.

2. Int. Club – Night

Claire parties in the club.

Beginning:

Middle: (Misinterpretation) She freaks out when a guy approaches her and offers to buy her a drink.

End: (Something unseen) Her wound is causing her to engage in destructive behavior.

Scene Arc: She dances in the middle of the floor to her doing lines in the bathroom.

Essence: show Claire as a party girl.

Conflict: she’s breaking the law.

Subtext: she’s hiding a deep wound.

Hope/fear: We hope she’ll be alright. We fear she will get hurt.

3. Ext. Forest – Night

Something rips through the tent and gnarled, clawed hands snatch her from the tent.

Beginning: (Suspense) Is something going to happen to the family.

Middle: (Major twist) An animal has taken the girl.

End: (Mystery) We have no idea what snatched the girl.

Scene Arc: From family sleeping peacefully to terror.

Essence: There’s something in the woods.

Conflict: A girl has been taken.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: We hope she’s alright. We fear she will be killed.

4. Int. Claire’s House – Day

Claire gets a call about the missing girl.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) If her probation officer finds out she was partying last night she’ll be in trouble.

Middle: (Creating a Future) Her parole officer tells her she’ll need to be on high alert for this rescue.

End: (Dilemma) If she refuses to go she will end up in jail, if she agrees to go she’ll risk her parole officer finding out she’s still using drugs which is against her probation.

Scene Arc: Claire is in bed with a hangover to her being reminded she’s has community service commitments.

Essence: to show Claire’s ability to easily lie.

Conflict: if she doesn’t go she’ll end up in jail.

Subtext: she’s super hungover and breaking the rules of her probation.

Hope/fear: she stays out of jail, fear she’ll get caught.

5. Ext. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc speaks with the missing girl’s parents about the mission.

Beginning: (Mystery) The girl was taken out of her tent, but only Marc knows what took her.

Middle: (Prediction) He tells the parents he will find their daughter.

End: (Intrigue) Marc knows something about what happened but isn’t saying what he knows.

Scene Arc: They start out hysterical and end up feeling better about getting their daughter back.

Essence: Marc has a way with words.

Conflict: Marc is irritated with the parents badgering and questions.

Subtext: Marc isn’t really concerned with finding the missing girl.

Hope/fear: We hope Marc will take the task seriously. We fear he won’t.

6. Ext. Claire’s House – Day

Claire loads up her gear and gets a warning from her neighbor about something evil in the woods.

Beginning: (Intrigue): Her neighbor warns her that there is something up in those woods.

Middle: (Anticipatory Dialog): He talks about mysterious disappearances over the decades.

End: (Mystery) we know that people are disappearing and how they disappear, but we don’t know who or what is behind it.

Scene Arc: She starts out resigned to go then thinks twice about whether she should go.

Essence: Claire isn’t sure she should go.

Conflict: she thinks her neighbor is crazy.

Subtext: She thinks there is something to her neighbor’s warning.

Hope/fear: we hope the warning is a joke. We fear that it isn’t.

7. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc goes over the plan with his three men.

Beginning: (Hook) Marc has different plans for the search.

Middle: (Something Unseen) There is something in the woods that is driving Marc.

End: (Creating a future) Only part of Marc’s plan is revealed.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc alone in the tent. Ends with him discussing the plan with Scott, Adam, and Jacob.

Essence: Marc as a covert plan in place.

Conflict: Adam isn’t 100% on board with the plan.

Subtext: Marc isn’t being 100% truthful about why he wants the creature alive.

Hope/fear: We hope Adam will break with the plan. We fear he won’t.

8. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Claire arrives and finds out her niece is the missing girl.

Beginning: (Major Twist) Claire arrives to find out her niece is missing.

Middle: (Betrayal) She trusted her sister to take care of her niece and keep her safe.

End: (Anticipatory Dialog) Claire threatens her sister if anything happens to her niece.

Scene Arc: Claire starts off calm but ends up angry.

Essence: Claire finds out her niece/daughter is the missing girl.

Conflict: Claire is angry at her sister for not keeping her daughter safe.

Subtext: She’s afraid she’ll never see her daughter again.

Hope/fear: She’s wrong. Fear she’s not.

9. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc directs the search and rescue team on their mission. He gives his men an alternate mission.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) Marc knows what’s in the woods but he isn’t sharing it with the search and rescue team.

Middle: (Creating a Future) By not telling them the team doesn’t know what dangers lie in the woods.

End: (Anticipatory Dialog) He tells his men to remain vigilant and on guard at all times.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc speaking to all of the volunteers. Ends with him reiterating the plan to his three men.

Essence: Marc is ensuring that the three men know what the desired outcome is.

Conflict:

Subtext: Marc knows exactly what is going on and what took the girl.

Hope/fear: Hope that he will tell them the truth. Fear that he won’t.

10. Ext. Base Camp Tent – Day

Claire partners up with her former best friend for the search efforts. She lies to her, but the best friend knows she’s lying.

Beginning: (Something Unseen) There’s tension between Claire and Lexi, but we don’t know why.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Claire and Lexi are put together as a team by Adam.

End: (Suspense) Will they be able to work together for the good of the mission?

Scene Arc: The scene starts with Claire and Lexi separate ends with them teaming up to search together.

Essence: Claire needs to start mending fences.

Conflict: Claire lies to Lexi and Lexi knows it.

Subtext: Claire is lying.

Hope/fear: Hope is they can work together, fear that they can’t and it will jeopardize the mission.

11. Ext. Mountain Trail – Day

Claire and Lexi look for the missing girl and talk about the past.

Beginning: (Prediction) Lexi tells Claire not to worry that they will find her niece alive.

Middle: (Dilemma) Claire can tell her what is really going on and risk Lexi’s judgment and disgust or she can lie to her and risk her finding out she lied.

End: (Dilemma) Lexi knows Claire is lying but if she calls her out Claire will shut down, but if she doesn’t the rift between them will never fully heal.

Scene Arc: Claire and Lexi start off the search in awkward silence and end the scene reminiscing on the past.

Essence: Claire is starting to work toward mending bridges.

Conflict: Claire continues to lie to Lexi.

Subtext: Lexi still doesn’t trust Claire.

Hope/fear: Hope they can become friends again, fear they won’t

12. Ext. Family Camp Site – Day

The search and rescue team reaches the site where the girl was taken. They search for clues.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Adam, Scott, and Jacob seem to be looking for clues that are different from the rest of the group.

Middle: (Mystery) They find the destroyed tent and can’t determine what could have caused that kind of damage.

End: (Anticipatory Dialog) Adam tells the volunteers that no one should go off on their own, they need to stick together.

Scene Arc: The arrive at the camp site to they discover clues about which way the creature went.

Essence: The team is making progress on finding the girl.

Conflict: No one can agree on what animal took the girl.

Subtext: Adam, Scott, and Jacob are looking for different clues than the rest of the group

Hope/fear: Hope they will find what they are looking for. Fear the won’t.

13. Ext. Forest – Day

Claire sneaks away to deal with her withdrawals by drinking from her flask.

Beginning: (Dilemma) If Claire ignores the withdrawals her secret will be out but if she gives into her addiction she’ll have to go against Adams orders and could jeopardize her nieces life.

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Lexi catches Claire drinking from her flask.

End: (predicting the future) Lexi tells Claire that she doesn’t have try and do things by herself (setting her up later when she goes to find the creature by herself.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire is having withdrawals. Ends with her being caught by Lexi.

Essence: to show Claire’s struggles.

Conflict: Claire is called out by Lexi.

Subtext: Claire continues to try and lie about her addiction.

Hope/fear: Hope that Claire being caught will help her change. Fear is that being caught will make things worse.

14. Ext. Forest – Day

Scott and Paul discuss the plan. Adam joins but is having second thoughts, but will stay the course because of his loyalty to Marc.

Beginning: (Surprise) Adam is beginning to have doubts about Marc’s intentions.

Middle: (Dilemma) If Adam doesn’t follow orders his secret will be exposed by Marc. If he follows Marc’s orders he’ll lose the trust of the team.

End: (Creating a future) Adam decides to continue with the plan for now, but expresses his concerns for the plan.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam expressing his doubts. Ends with Adam falling in line with the plan.

Essence: to show Adam might not be completely loyal to Marc.

Conflict: between Adam and Scott and Paul regarding the plan to bring the creature back alive.

Subtext: Adam is empathetic with Claire and her family.

Hope/fear: Hope Adam has a change of heart. Fear that he won’t.

15. Ext. Forest – Day

Paul wanders from the path and gets taken by the creature.

Beginning: (Suspense) Paul decides to split up from his partner to follow a possible clue.

Middle: (Uncertainty) There’s a sound in the bushes. It’s just a rabbit. Paul gets turned around. He finds the path. He heads deeper into the woods. There’s more rustling. He thinks its nothing.

End: (Cliffhanger) Paul gets pulled off the path by something unseen.

Scene Arc: Paul starts the scene alive and ends the scene missing/dead.

Essence: to show the danger they are all in.

Conflict: Paul is taken by the creature.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that Paul survives, Fear that he won’t.

16. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc hears that Paul is missing. He tells Adam he better not fail like before.

Beginning: (Major Twist) Paul has gone missing and Adam tells Marc he is having second thoughts about what they are doing.

Middle: (Character changes dramatically): Marc loses his cool and rails against Adam.

End: (Anticipatory Dialogue) Marc threatens Adam if he fails.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc checking in on the progress of the plan and ends with Marc in a rage and threatening Adam.

Essence: shows how callous Marc is.

Conflict: Marc is enraged and threatens Adam with spilling his secret.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope Marc will change his mind. Fear he won’t

17. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Marc informs the parents that a volunteer has gone missing.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Marc must tell the parents that one of the volunteers has gone missing.

Middle: (Dilemma) If Marc tells the parents the truth it could jeopardize his plans, if he continues to lie to them he could end up in trouble for letting the girl die.

End: (Uncertainty) the parents hope the team will find their daughter, but fear that it will be too late.

Scene Arc: Starts out relatively calm and turns into chaos and despair.

Essence: to show that not everything is alright.

Conflict: between Marc and Maddie’s parents.

Subtext: Marc knows what happened to Paul.

Hope/fear: hope that Maddie is alive. Fear that she’s dead.

18. Ext. Camp Site – Night

They group must make camp for the night.

Beginning: (Major Twist) The group discovers they will have to camp for the night.

Middle: (Anticipatory Dialog) While setting up camp, Lexi makes a comment that she hopes they are all there in the morning.

End: (creating a future) As the group settles in the question becomes will they survive?

Scene Arc: Starts with the volunteers grumbling about having to make camp to them setting up tents and building a fire.

Essence: to isolate the group further.

Conflict: Adam having to convince the volunteers to stay.

Subtext: Adam doesn’t want to stay either but he is loyal.

Hope/fear: hope they make it through the night. Fear they won’t.

19. Ext. Forest – Night

Claire slips out of camp to drink.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Will Claire’s addiction hurt the efforts or will she be able to curb the addiction to save her niece.

Middle: (Dilemma) If Claire takes a drink it may be the reason her niece dies. If she doesn’t take a drink it may be the reason her niece dies.

End: (Character changes radically) she puts the flask away without taking a drink, choosing her niece over her comfort.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire taking her flask out. Ends with Claire sitting on the ground crying.

Essence: showing Claire’s cracks.

Conflict: Internal conflict in Claire. Does she continue to be selfish or does she put her niece’s needs before her own.

Subtext: Claire is afraid for her niece and for her future if she continues in her current ways.

Hope/fear: we hope she will choose her niece over her own needs. We fear she won’t .

20. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Claire sits alone. Adam comes over to keep her company. They talk.

Beginning: (Suspense) While Claire is sitting alone, something big moves in the brush behind her.

Middle: (Anticipatory Dialog) Adam tells Claire that she doesn’t have to feel alone. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, but he knows she’s strong and will triumph.

End: (Creating a Future) Claire looks at Adam in a different light. Is she starting to have feelings for him?

Scene Arc: starts with Claire sitting alone. Ends with her opening up a bit with Adam.

Essence: to get Claire to lower her guard and give Adam more to think about.

Conflict: between Claire and herself.

Subtext: Claire wants to open up but is afraid.

Hope/fear:

21. Int. Tent – Night

Claire lies in her tent unable to sleep because she’s worried about her daughter.

Beginning:

Middle: (Uncertainty)

End: (surprise) She chooses again not to drink from her flask.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire lying in her tent wide awake. Ends with her getting up and leaving the tent.

Essence: to show the extent of Claire’s fear and worry.

Conflict: an internal one with Claire.

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

22. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Adam sits alone at the fire. Claire joins him.

Beginning:

Middle: (Dilemma) Adam wants to confide in Claire, but if he does he’ll be humiliated when his secret is revealed, if he doesn’t confide in her, he may lose his chance to be with her.

End: (Cliffhanger) Gun shots ring out.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam alone at the fire, ends with gun shots.

Essence: the quiet before the storm.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: We hope Adam confesses, but we fear he won’t.

23. Ext. Forest – Night

The creature attacks. It swipes at Scott, injuring him and takes Jacob.

Beginning: (Suspense) Will Scott and Jacob come across the creature?

Middle: (Superior Position) The creature is right behind them.

End: (Cliffhanger) Will Scott survive the attack.

Scene Arc: Starts with Scott and Jacob patrolling the area and ends with Scott injured and Jacob gone.

Essence: show the power of the creature.

Conflict: between the creature and Scott and Jacob.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope they survive, fear the won’t.

24. Ext. Camp Site – Night

There’s a scream from the forest. Everyone gathers around the fire. Scott limps out of the trees and collapses. They drag him to his tent.

Beginning: (Suspense) The group doesn’t know what is going on.

Middle: (Prediction) If the group doesn’t get off the mountain they will all die.

End: (Dilemma) If they stay they may all die. If they go, Claire’s niece will die.

Scene Arc: Starts with confusion and ends in fear.

Essence: to rally the troops.

Conflict: No one can agree what to do. Stay or go.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope they will live, fear they won’t.

25. Int. Scott’s Tent – Night

Scott is in pain. Claire gives him a drink from her flask.

Beginning: (Dilemma) If Claire gives Scott the rest of her liquor, she could end up in worse shape than she already is with withdrawals. If she doesn’t give him the drink he could die.

Middle: (Surprise) Claire gives him the rest of her liquor.

End: (Creating a Future) Scott might make it off the mountain alive.

Scene Arc: Scott is in pain at the start, by the end he has a little relief.

Essence: to show Claire’s kindness.

Conflict: an internal conflict with Claire. She wants to do the right thing but is scared of what will happen if she does.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope Scott lives, fear he will succumb to his wounds.

26. Ext. Camp Site – Night

Adam organizes the group to search for Jacob. They fan out and disappear into the woods.

Beginning: (Dilemma) If Adam sends the group to search for Jacob they may meet the same fate. If he doesn’t Jacob will surely die.

Middle: (Suspense) Will any of the group run into the creature and meet the same fate as Jacob.

End: (Cliffhanger) Who will come back alive.

Scene Arc: starts with Adam giving orders, ends with everyone fanning out to search for Jacob.

Essence: to get the volunteers back in the woods and Claire alone with Scott.

Conflict: An internal conflict for Adam, he feels responsible for everyone in the group.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: we hope Adam made the right decision, but fear that he didn’t.

27. Int. Scott’s Tent – Night

Claire is trying to patch up Scott as best she can. He lets slip they are to bring the creature back alive no matter the cost.

Beginning: (Surprise) The usually quiet Scott is delirious and starts babbling on about the horrible things he’s done in the past.

Middle: (Major Twist) Scott spills the beans on Marc’s plan.

End: (Betrayal) Claire storms out of the tent because of Adam’s betrayal.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire trying to help Scott and ends with her storming out of the tent.

Essence: to reveal Marc’s plan.

Conflict: Claire trying to get Scott to tell her more about the plan.

Subtext: Claire is afraid for her daughter.

Hope/fear: Hope that Adam will take Claire’s side. Fear that he won’t.

28. Ext. Scott’s Tent – Night

Claire confronts Adam. He admits their mission to bring the creature back alive. There are more screams from the forest.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable Moment) Adam is taken off guard by Claire’s anger.

Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Adam tells Claire he wanted to tell her and that he is no longer going along with Marc’s plan but wants to help her find her niece.

End: (cliffhanger) Have more people died? Can Claire forgive Adam in order to help the others.

Scene Arc: starts with Claire confronting Adam ends with fear for the others.

Essence: to kill off more people.

Conflict: Claire confronting Adam about Marc’s plan.

Subtext: Claire is terrified for her daughter now that there are two enemies.

Hope/fear: Hope Adam will turn his back on Marc. Fear that he won’t.

29. Ext. Camp Site – Night

The remaining volunteers come back to the camp. They want to leave. Claire must try to convince them to continue the search. Adam tells her they have to get Scott back down the mountain.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) The group wants to go down the mountain. Claire gives a good speech about why they need to stay. Many of the group still wants to go. Adam puts it to a vote. The vote to leave.

Middle: (Betrayal) Claire thinks Lexi has betrayed their tenuous friendship by voting to go back to base camp.

End: (Cliffhanger) It is uncertain what Claire will do.

Scene Arc: Starts with chaos and fear ends with frustration and anger.

Essence: to give Claire a reason to go off on her own.

Conflict: between Claire and the remaining volunteers.

Subtext: Claire is afraid.

Hope/fear: Shew will convince them to continue looking for her daughter. Fear she won’t.

30. Ext. Forest – Night

Claire slips out of the camp unnoticed.

Beginning: (Dilemma) If Claire goes with the rest her niece will die. If she chooses to go out on her own, she’ll surely die as well as her niece.

Middle: (Anticipatory Dialog) Lexi finds Claire packing her bags and Lexi tells her that she will not get the outcome she desires and will probably die in the process.

End: (Superior Position) As Adam gets everyone organized we know Claire has left.

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire silently packing while Adam tries to get everyone organized to go back down the hill and ends with Claire slipping out of camp undetected.

Essence: to force Claire into further isolation.

Conflict: Claire is in conflict with herself. She wants to remain with the group but she can’t leave her daughter to die.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: We hope Adam will stop her. But fear that he won’t.

31. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Adam is preparing the group to descend the mountain with an injured Scott. He notices Claire isn’t there. Lexi tells him Claire left the camp last night.

Beginning: (Major Twist) Adam finds out that Claire left the camp.

Middle: (dilemma) if he goes back down the mountain with the rest, he will lose Claire. If he follows Claire Marc will share his painful past.

End: (Cliffhanger) Adam doesn’t know if he will go after Claire or not.

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam starting to lead the group out of the camp to him finding out that Claire left last night.

Essence: to have Adam torn between loyalty to Scott and Marc and his feelings for Claire and wanting to help her.

Conflict: its an internal conflict in Adam.

Subtext: Adam is terrified for Claire.

Hope/fear: Hope that he will go after her. Fear he won’t.

32. Ext. Base Camp – Day

Marc sees Scott being dragged down the hill on a stretcher. He confronts the volunteers.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Marc notices that Adam is not with the rest of the group.

Middle: (Creating a Future) Marc rails against Scott and tells him he should know better than to rely on others to do his job.

End: (Dilemma) Does Marc stay at the camp and lose out on capturing the creature or does he go after the creature and risk his life.

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc feeling confident about his plan to being enraged that it has been derailed by the creature.

Essence: to show the depth of Marc’s obsession.

Conflict: between Marc and the volunteers.

Subtext: He will not be defeated by the creature again.

Hope/fear: Hope he gives up his obsession. Fear he won’t.

33. Int. Base Camp Tent – Day

Marc gathers his weapons.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: He storms into the tent and leaves loaded with weapons.

Essence: Marc means business.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: We hope Marc won’t find Claire, but fear he will.

34. Ext. Base Camp – Day

The girl’s parents demand answers from Marc. He is cruel in his answers.

Beginning: (Anticipatory Dialog)

Middle: (Character Changes Radically) Marc is enraged and takes it out on the parents.

End: (Prediction) Marc tells everyone that he will hunt the creature that killed his brother until the day he dies.

Scene Arc: The girl’s parents approach Marc hopeful and end devastated.

Essence: to show Marc’s cruelty and callousness.

Conflict: between Marc and the girl’s parents.

Subtext: Marc only cares about his revenge on the creature.

Hope/fear: Hope Marc will be kind. Fear he won’t.

35. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Adam takes inventory and goes after Claire.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: starts with Adam packing his gear and ends with him disappearing into the woods.

Essence: to show Adam is going to go after Claire.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope he finds her in time. Fear he won’t.

36. Ext. Forest – Day

Claire finds a cave. She watches for any movement.

Beginning: (Suspense) did she just find the creatures cave?

Middle: (Uncertainty) Is the creature in the cave? Will she find her daughter alive? Will she survive?

End: (Dilemma) Does she go in and risk her life or does she go back for help and risk her daughter’s life.

Scene Arc: starts with her stumbling into a small clearing, ends with her watching the cave from cover.

Essence: to show Claire reaching her destination.

Conflict: Claire is second guessing her choice to come alone.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope she’s successful in finding her daughter. Fear she will find her daughter dead.

37. Ext. Forest – Day

Adam is tracking Claire. Something snatches him.

Beginning: (Suspense) Something is tracking Adam as he tracks Claire.

Middle: (Major Twist) Adam is attacked by the creature.

End: (Cliffhanger) Is Adam dead?

Scene Arc: Starts with Adam trekking through the woods looking at clues, ends with him being knocked unconscious and dragged away.

Essence: Not even an experienced former Navy seal is safe from the creature.

Conflict: between Adam and the creature.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope he’s okay. Fear he’s not.

38. Int. Cave – Day

Clare enters the cave and sees her daughter. She rushes over to see if she’s still alive. She is but barely. The creature returns, Claire hides. Adam is tossed into the corner.

Beginning: (Suspense) Is Claire’s daughter alive?

Middle: (Predictions) Claire tells her daughter she is going to get her out of there.

End: (Cliffhanger) Will the creature find Claire?

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire feeling relief at finding her daughter and ends with her terrified because the creature is back.

Essence: to show that there is still a lot that she has to overcome to get her daughter out.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope Claire manages to evade detection. Fear that the creature will find her.

39. Ext. Camp Site – Day

Marc looks for clues as to which way Claire went.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Marc looking for clues, ends with him disappearing into the woods hot on Claire’s trail.

Essence: to show Marc is on the trail.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that he doesn’t find her. Fear that he will.

40. Int. Cave – Day

Claire watches the creature. It leaves the cave.

Beginning: (Major Twist) Adam has been brought to the cave by the creature.

Middle: (Suspense) Will the creature discover Claire.

End: (Uncertainty) Adam can help her escape with her daughter, but Adam is unconscious. The creature left the cave, but could come back at any time.

Scene Arc: starts with the creature walking around the cave, ends with it leaving.

Essence: to give Claire an opening.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that she stays hidden. Fear that the creature will find her.

41. Ext. Cave – Day

Marc finds the cave. He watches the creature leave the cave.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Starts with Marc coming up to the cave, ends with him hiding as the creature leaves.

Essence: shows Marc has been successful in his pursuit.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope that the creature finds Marc, fear that Marc will go undetected.

42. Int. Cave – Day

Claire runs over and checks on Adam. He’s alive.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Starts with the creature leaving, ends with Claire being relieved that Adam is still alive.

Essence: All hope is not lost.

Conflict: Does Claire leave Adam and leave with her daughter or does she stay and help Adam out as well.

Subtext: She really wants to leave Adam.

Hope/fear: Hope that she can get them out. Fear the creature will return before they can leave.

43. Ext. Cave – Day

Marc approaches the cave.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Marc comes out of hiding to him entering the cave.

Essence: Marc has found the creatures habitat and Claire as well.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

44. Int. Cave – Day

Claire hears Marc enter. She turns to find him pointing a gun at her. She tries to reason with him. Adam leaps up and knocks into Marc. The gun goes off and falls to the floor. Adam collapses. Claire picks up the gun. Marc rushes her. She shoots him. He falls to the ground dead.

Beginning: (Dilemma) If Claire leaves with her daughter, Adam will die. If Claire stays they will all die.

Middle: (Suspense) Marc points his gun at Claire and is willing to kill her, her daughter, and Adam to get to the creature.

End: (Major Twist) Claire kills Marc.

Scene Arc: Claire is tending to Adam and her daughter, to Marc ending up dead.

Essence: to put Claire up against Marc.

Conflict: Marc isn’t willing to let Claire walk out of the cave. He wants to use her as bait.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope Claire will prevail. Fear she won’t.

45. Ext. Cave – Day

Claire steps outside and runs into the creature.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Claire exiting the cave for a breath to her coming face to face with the creature.

Essence: to put Claire in the creatures path.

Conflict: Claire must escape the creature.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope she escapes. Fear she won’t.

46. Ext. Cliff Face – Day

Claire scrambles up the cliff face to try and get away from the creature. It chases her.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: starts with Claire scrambling up the cliff with the creature behind her and ends with her reaching the top.

Essence: the final chase scene that pushes Claire to her brink.

Conflict: the creature is chasing Claire

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope she will make it to the top. Fear she won’t.

47. Ext. Cliff Top – Day

Claire reaches the top. The creature advances. She steps out of the way at the last moment. The creature falls over the cliff.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: starts with the creature bearing down on her and ends with the creature dead at the bottom of the cliff.

Essence: Claire is triumphant.

Conflict: Her finally face off with the creature.

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Hope she wins. Fear she won’t.

48. Int. Cave – Day

Claire runs into the cave and finds Adam holding her daughter in his lap. She helps Adam with his wounds. The three leave.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc: Starts with Claire desperate to see her daughter, ends with the three leaving the cave alive.

Essence: Claire is stronger than anyone gave her credit for.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

49. Ext. Base Camp – Night

The three emerge from the woods. The girl is reunited with her parents. Claire reconnects with her sister.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc:

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

50. Int. Claire’s House – Night

Claire, Adam, her sister, brother-in-law, and niece gather around a table. There’s a breaking news story about Bigfoot being real.

Beginning:

Middle:

End:

Scene Arc:

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

[Andrew Boyd]

Andrew Boyd’s Fascinating Scene Outlines

19.10.22

My Vision:

For Hitler’s Choirboys to be such a compelling screenplay that Steven Spielberg and Mel Gibson will battle it out to produce their most powerful WW2 blockbuster since Hacksaw Ridge or Schindler’s List. That this screenplay will confront racism as everybody’s problem and resolve a new generation to prevent a holocaust of any race from ever happening again.

What I learned from this assignment:

That producers want a boiled down outline, and how to boil that down, while maximising interest. This is now eight pages.

ACT 1

1. EXT/INT BOMB DAMAGED HOSPITAL 1945 – DAY

The US military hospital in Munich where Henry Gerecke and Sam Fuller are playing up a storm to raise morale as the injured roll in.

Beginning: (Better setting) Bomb-shattered hospital from above. Frantic activity.

Middle: (Surprise 1) Amid the chaos, swing music played hot – in a chapel by two guys who are obviously best buddies. (Surprise 2 / Major twist) Yet Sam later says he hates Henry.

End: (Intrigue) What went wrong between them?

2. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM / CHAPLAIN’S OFFICE – DAY

The Colonel asks Henry to go to the Nuremberg trial, so his sidekick Fuller must go too. Neither wants to. Refusal of the call.

Beginning: (External dilemma) If Henry goes, his marriage could collapse. If Fuller goes, he loses his hustle.

Middle: (Major twist) Henry hears his boys have been wounded, Fuller his brother Joel is missing – then that he has been murdered by Nazis.

End: (Character change/intrigue) Fuller wants revenge, how will he get it?

3. EXT/INT RURAL SHACK – DAY

Fuller discovers his older brother has killed their drunken Pa. They’re orphans, and Joel teaches Sam to hustle to survive.

Beginning: (Major surprise) Joel has killed Pa!

Middle: (Character change) Sets up Sam’s wound – distrust of father figures.

End: (Uncertainty) Joel goes off to war, leaving Sam wanting to follow but too young.

4. EXT. DACHAU CONCENTRATION CAMP – DAY

Henry and Sam are sent to Dachau to harden Henry’s resolve to go to Nuremberg.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Total horror.

Middle: (Suspense) Fuller’s been drinking – will he kill the Nazi POW?

(Surprise/Uncomfortable moment) Henry wants to kill the Nazi too. But instead he steps in front of Fuller’s gun.

End: (More interesting setting) Fuller’s brother was racially abused and killed when he tried to surrender – betrayed by Belgians because of his colour.

ACT 2

5. EXT. NUREMBERG – DAYLIGHT FADING

Fuller meets Henry in Nuremberg. Watched by an ex-SS soldier and his kids.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Henry is late – his Jeep has been ambushed by Nazi resistance, the Werwolves.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Henry is kind to the soldier’s kids – they remind him of his own. But Fuller just hates them.

End: (Uncertainty) Can Sam and Henry’s friendship survive?

6. EXT/INT. PALACE OF JUSTICE – DAY

Colonel Andrus tells Henry: ‘Keep the Nazis alive until we hang ‘em’. Henry is introduced to his teammates and shown the ropes.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) The Nazis are committing suicide.

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Conflict between Henry’s military and chaplain duties.

End: (Uncertainty) Conflicts over compassion v vengeance. Can they work together?

7. INT. ROOM 600 THE COURT – DAY

The trial begins. Top Nazi Goering is ruling the roost.

Beginning: (Twist) The Nazis still act like they rule the world. Will they win in court?

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Fuller sums it up – shoot the lot of them.

End: (Suspense) How can Henry get through to them and break the Nazi legend?

8. INT. OFFICE / PRISON / CHAPEL – NIGHT

The first chapel service ends in disaster.

Beginning: (Surprise) Fuller hustles an organ and space for a chapel.

Middle: (Major twist) Fuller is racially insulted and storms out.

End: (Surprise) The Nazis march back to their cells humming a Nazi anthem.

9. THE COURT/CELLS – DAY

The Nazis don’t give a rip about the court or the chaplain.

Beginning: (Surprise) The court shows a film to shame the Nazis – but they lap it up.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) The Nazis treat the chaplain with contempt.

End: (Major twist/uncertainty) The US guards believe the chaplain is a Nazi-lover. Is Henry getting it badly wrong?

10. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR ­– DAY / EXT. N/BERG / CONCENTRATION CAMP

The team cracks under pressure.

Beginning: (Surprise) Fuller, now on guard duty, is beaten up by his racist sergeant. But Sam resents Henry’s intervention.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Now Gilbert accuses Henry of being soft on the Nazis.

End: (Mystery) A US soldier is painfully hauling rocks at a concentration camp.

10. EXT. ST LOUIS – DAY / INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY

Goering is trying to turn Henry to win favours. The chaplain fears his love rival, Kent could be making moves on his wife, Alma.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Alma sells Henry’s car to his best friend, Kent.

Middle: (More interesting setting) Flashback montage. Henry beats Kent to win Alma.

End: (Mislead / Surprise) Goering is sympathetic. He offers Henry his armoured Mercedes instead.

11. INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Goering dismisses a harrowing concentration camp film as propaganda.

Beginning: (Shock) Horror in the court over the concentration camp film.

Middle: (Character reveal) Gilbert studies the Nazis for their reactions.

End: (Surprise / Reveal) Goering dismisses the film as propaganda.

12. INT. CHAPLAIN’S ROOM / CELLS / PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY

Gilbert seethes as he reads defendant Julius Streicher’s anti-Semitic newspaper and confronts him. Fuller mocks the Nazi. Comic relief.

Beginning: (Twist / Character reveal) Streicher rounds on Gilbert.

Middle: (Surprise) Then strips off to exercise in the nude.

End: (Surprise/Humour) Fuller’s snaps a photo mocking the Nazi.

13. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR / HANS FRANK’S CELL – DAY

First Nazi to crack? O’Connor introduces Henry to Hans Frank, who has had an epiphany about the evil he has committed.

Beginning: (Surprise) Nazi Hans Frank has a nightmare of a train full of the dead accusing him, and a change of heart.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Is Frank for real?

End: (Internal dilemma) Henry knows he is getting nowhere. Could Sixtus help?

14. EXT. N/BERG RUINS / ST LOUIS RECRUITMENT LINE – DAY

Sixtus O’Connor takes Henry into Nuremberg to show him why he’s floundering.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) By the river, in the ruins of Nuremberg.

Middle: (Reveal) O’Connor pinpoints Henry’s wound, his humiliation by his Pa in the WW1 recruitment line.

End: (Uncertainty) Can Henry overcome his wound and get tough?

15. INT. BROADCAST BOOTH, ROOM 600 – DAY / NUREMBERG – DAY

Henry meets the court artist, whose painting reveals a deeper truth that could help him confront the Nazis. And they meet a Jewish witness.

Beginning: (Superior position) An artist’s eye reveals truths about the Nazis.

Middle: (Surprise) A girl paints her destroyed former home in Nuremberg – a surprising picture of hope.

End: (Uncomfortable moment) US and German hostility towards a Jewish violinist.

16. EXT. AUSCHWITZ CONCENTRATION CAMP – DAY / INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

An SS guard kills a Jewish conductor for playing the music of Mahler, a Jew. Shia Morontz, the first violinist, appears in court as a witness.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Auschwitz, playing music by the gas chamber.

Middle: (Major twist) The SS captain kills the conductor for playing Jewish music.

End: (Uncomfortable moment) Henry tries to console the violinist when he turns up as a witness in court, but is rebuffed.

17. INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT / RECRUITMENT LINE ST LOUIS 1917 – DAY / BROADCAST BOOTH, ROOM 600 – DAY

Tooling up: Letting off steam, playing cards, discussing the Final Solution. Gilbert rounds on Henry and prises open his second wound. The court artist points the way.

Beginning: (More interesting setting). Boisterous game of blackjack to discuss evidence in court.

Middle: (Surprise) Gilbert loses it with Henry exposing his second wound – fear of losing his temper.

End: (Superior position) Laura Knight has finished her painting. It’s a revelation. Somehow Henry must make the Nazis see. But how?

18. INT. THE STORK CLUB, HANUKKAH 1945 – NIGHT

Fuller is pounding the keys and cracking jokes at the Stork Club. His racist sergeant rushes to attack him, but is prevented by a huge Jewish GI.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Playing piano hot in the Stork Club for a Hanukkah party

Middle: (Surprise) Fuller’s sergeant goes to attack him, Jews prevent him.

End: (Suspense) Will the sergeant get his revenge?

ACT 3

19. EXT/INT. NUREMBERG CAFÉ – DAY / CATTLE CAR 1943 – DAY

Henry persuades the Jewish violinist to tell his story in a café, as patrons storm out.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Patrons walk out of the café.

Middle: (Shock) Morontz is sent with his family in a cattle car to Auschwitz.

End: (Major shock) Even the Polish children who run beside the train to mock them know these Jews are going to their deaths. So how can the Nazis deny knowing?

20. INT. PALACE OF JUSTICE / KEITEL’S CELL – DAY / EXT. EXERCISE YARD / INT. COURT – DAY

Henry is given a mysterious box, containing evidence that help him confront the defendants. Field Marshal Keitel agrees to testify. But Goering gets to him first.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Henry is given a mysterious box.

Middle: (Surprise) Confronted with fresh evidence, Keitel agrees to testify in court.

End: (Major twist) Goering gets to him and he backs down.

21. EXT. CARINHALL, GOERING’S ESTATE 1943 – DAY / INT. PALACE OF JUSTICE – DAY

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Hunting party at Goering’s estate.

Middle: (Character reveal) Goering shows off his looted art collection.

End: (Major twist) Gilbert cuts off Goering’s influence from the defendants.

22. INT. ROOM 600 – DAY / INT. CELLS – NIGHT / INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

Hitler’s Foreign Minister, Ribbentrop, denies knowledge of concentration camps, but Henry confronts him with the truth. And then challenges the head of Hitler Youth.

Beginning: (Reveal) The court shows Ribbentrop must have known.

Middle: (Suspense) Henry confronts him – will he cave?

End: (Reveal) Von Schirach comes clean to Henry and the court.

23. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT / EXT. PRISON – NIGHT

Fuller and the other guards mischievously torment the Nazi prisoners.

Beginning: (Intrigue) The guards are up to something…

Middle: (Surprise) They’re tormenting the Nazis at night and giggling like schoolgirls.

End: (Black humour) Screams of terror, hoots from the guards.

24. INT. HENRY’S ROOM – NIGHT (MONTAGE DELIRIOUS NIGHTMARES) / INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Henry has delirium and goes down with pneumonia due to massive overwork.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Is Henry unwell?

Middle: (Internal dilemma) Guilt-ridden nightmares.

End: (Major twist / Reveal) His boys visit him in hospital. They absolve him of his guilt for encouraging them to go to war where they are wounded and almost killed.

25. INT. COL ANDRUS’ OFFICE – DAY / EXT. ST LOUIS STREET – DAY / INT. COL ANDRUS’ OFFICE – DAY

The Colonel plans to send Henry home – but his wife Alma intervenes.

Beginning: (External dilemma) The Colonel plans to send Henry home.

Middle: (Major twist) But the Nazis write to Alma and she allows Henry to stay.

End: (External dilemma) But the Colonel will only let him if he spies on the Nazis.

26. INT. ROOM 600 – DAY

The Auschwitz commandant proudly verifies the industrial scale killing of Jews.

Beginning: (Reveal) The sheer scale of the holocaust.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) And the quiet pride they took in it.

End: (Suspense) Will the Nazis finally admit the truth – even to themselves?

27. INT. CHAPLAIN’S OFFICE – DAY / EXT. THE DEATH STEPS, MAUTHAUSEN, 1945 – DAY / EXT. N/BERG PEGNITZ RIVER – DAY

O’Connor’s wound revealed, yielding more evidence that could make the Nazis take responsibility.

Beginning: (Character change) O’Connor on the booze and in meltdown.

Middle: (Reveal) O’Connor’s wound – at the liberation of Mauthausen.

End: (Mystery) O’Connor hands Henry a rosary made by slaves at Mauthausen.

28. EXT. ZEPPELINFIELD, NUREMBERG – DAY / INT. SPEER’S CELL – DAY / INT: FUHRERBUNKER – DAY

At Speer’s monumental Zeppelinfield in Nuremberg, Gilbert presses Henry to pump Speer for information about Nazi wonder weapons. Back in Speer’s cell, Henry does so, then shocks Gilbert by angrily confronting Speer.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) The vast Zeppelinfield, N/Berg, built by defendant Albert Speer.

Middle: (Internal dilemma) Gilbert presses Henry to spy on Speer for information.

End: (Character change) Henry confronts Speer with a steel whip used on his slave labour, shocking both the Nazi and Gilbert.

29. INT. ROOM 600 – DAY / EXT. FUHRERBUNKER – NIGHT / INT. ROOM 600 – DAY / INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY / INT. PRISON CLINIC – DAY / EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

Speer denounces Hitler in court and claims he plotted to assassinate the Fuhrer. Goering calls him a traitor and smuggles a note to the Nazi resistance.

Beginning: (Reveal or Misdirection) Speer denounces Hitler.

Middle: (Surprise) Says he planned to kill him.

End: (Mystery/Suspense) Will the Werwolves strike?

30. EXT / INT BOMB DAMAGED HOUSE, GERMANY – DAY / INT. CHAPLAIN’S OFFICE – DAY / INT. VISITING ROOM – DAY

Henry tries to get through to Goering via his little daughter. He is shocked by German kids during a family visit. Goering tears up over his daughter’s painting.

Beginning: (More interesting location) Henry visits Goering’s wife and daughter in a bombed-out house.

Middle: (Surprise) During family visits, Henry is asked to read a Nazi picture book – full of hatred for the Jews, revealing that even the kids were brainwashed.

End: (Character change/Suspense) Goering sheds tears over his daughter’s painting. Is Henry finally getting through to him?

31. EXT. ALMA’S HOUSE – INT. ALMA’S PARLOUR – DAY / INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY

Build up to the verdict and sentencing. Increasing the stakes.

Beginning: (More interesting location/Suspense) Alma listens to the court broadcast at home. No contrition from the Nazis. Has Henry failed?

Middle: (Suspense) Fuller takes bets on how many to hang. Tension mounts as Sgnt Brannigan bets the house and the clock ticks on.

End: (Suspense) What if Fuller can’t settle his bets?

32. INT. ROOM 600 – DAY / INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT / INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT / INT. GOERING’S CELL – NIGHT

Sentencing: 11 Nazis to hang – just as Brannigan bet. Fuller is in deep trouble. As the gallows go up, Goering contacts the Nazi resistance.

Beginning: (External dilemma) Brannigan demands his money.

Middle: (Reveal) Goering can hear the hammering of the gallows going up.

End: (Suspense) Goering contacts the Nazi resistance: ‘Tonight’.

33. EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

Fuller hustles Russian soldiers for cash. They give chase.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Nuremberg, with the Russian troops.

Middle: (Suspense) Fuller hustles the Ivans – will they wise up to him?

End: (Cliffhanger) They do. Fuller runs. Will they catch him?

ACT 4

34. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – DAY / EXT. NUREMBERG – DAY

Henry searches for Fuller but finds news that could finally get through to Goering.

Beginning: (Mystery) Where is Fuller?

Middle: (Intrigue/Mystery) What news has Henry found? And how could it help?

End: (Surprise) The SS man is reading the same newspaper.

35. INT. GOERING’S CELL – DAY / INT. CARINHALL, GOERING’S ESTATE – DAY / INT. GOERING’S CELL – EVENING

Henry confronts Goering with proof that he got it all wrong.

Beginning: (Major twist) Henry confronts Goering with the truth about his ego.

Middle: (Surprise/Betrayal) Goering was swindled big time by an art forger.

End: (Cliffhanger) But Henry loses his temper. Has he blown it?

36. INT. OTHER CELLS – NIGHT

As the hour of their deaths nears, other Nazis call for the chaplains.

Beginning: (Character changes) Finally getting through as the executions loom.

Middle: (Surprise) Goering commits suicide.

End: (Internal dilemma) Was it Henry’s fault?

37. EXT. JAIL – NIGHT / INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT

The executions and the Nazis’ last words.

Beginning: (Character change) Henry walks Ribbentrop to the gymnasium and the waiting gallows. He has found peace.

Middle: (Surprise) The hangings are horribly botched.

End: (Inner conflict) The brutal executions of these men takes a toll on the chaplains.

38. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR – NIGHT / EXT. NUREMBERG – NIGHT

Brannigan is in hunt of Fuller to demand his payout. He and his cronies confront Sam in Nuremberg. A gun is fired…

Beginning: (Suspense) Will Brannigan find Fuller?

Middle: (More interesting setting) Nuremberg at night.

End: (Cliffhanger) Brannigan confronts Fuller. A shot is fired…

39. EXT. N/BERG RUINS – NIGHT / EXT./INT. CREMATORIUM – NIGHT / EXT. RIVER – NIGHT

A US patrol sees German kids burning an effigy of Goering. Troops take the Nazis’ bodies to be burned and their ashes scattered.

Beginning: (Suspense) A fire near the Palace – the Werwolves?

Middle: (Surprise) Just kids burning an effigy of Goering.

End: (Character change) The Nazis are cremated and their ashes thrown in a river. The Nazi legend has finally been broken.

40. INT. / EXT. MENARD PRISON 1961 – DAY

Resolution. Fuller tells his story to the Parole Board at Menard.

Beginning: (More interesting setting/Surprise) Fuller is still playing the piano in prison as Henry’s assistant, but now as a prisoner.

Middle: (Surprise) Henry dies – heart attack in the prison car park.

End: (Major Twist) Fuller didn’t kill Sgnt Brannigan, because of what Henry did in Dachau.

41. EXT. / INT. GERECKE HOME, ST LOUIS – DAY / INT. NBERG GYM – DAY(FLASHBACK) /

Henry went home, was reunited with Alma and his boys and resumed his prison ministry, sending for Fuller to be his assistant.

Beginning: (Better setting) Henry is reunited with his family. His marriage is saved.

Middle: (Character change) He helps Fuller makes peace with himself.

End: (Major Twists) The Parole Board thinks Fuller poisoned Goering…

He didn’t – but he did persuade the hangman to botch the hangings.

42. INT. MENARD CHAPEL – DAY / EXT. MENARD – DAY / EXT. ST LOUIS STREET AND CHURCH – DAY / INT. LUTHERAN CHURCH – DAY

Prisoners and Sam pay their respects to Henry Gerecke.

Beginning: (Suspense/Mystery) Will Fuller go free? And why does he need it so badly?

Middle: (Reveal) Fuller walks free…

End: (Surprise) And he’s hurrying to church…

43. INT. LUTHERAN CHURCH – DAY

For Henry Gerecke’s memorial service which is packed.

Beginning: (More interesting setting/Intrigue) Crowds pouring into St John’s church.

Middle: (Surprise) Henry’s memorial and the place is packed.

End: (Twist) And Fuller is invited to play the organ – hot!

Thank you!

[Lisa Paris Long]

Module 4 – Lesson 10 Making Every Scene Fascinating

Lisa Long’s Fascinating Scene Outlines!

My Vision: I will do whatever it takes to be comfortable saying that I am a writer by creating impactful stories with amazing characters in order to sell my scripts.

What I learned from this assignment is that this is a rough draft of an outline and there will be more to add to it as I flush it out.

Title: Chesapeake Girl

Genre: Drama

ACT ONE

1. EXT PARKING LOT ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: April drops off Molly, her 10-year-old daughter with Ed and drives off. Molly melts down and Ed takes her inside. Ed lives over the restaurant.

Essence: Ed and Molly meet for the first time.

Conflict: Molly is left with Ed, a stranger.

Subtext: April is a dancer/gypsy with a boyfriend show doesn’t care for kids. She figures Molly would be better off in one place. Molly is abandoned. Ed doesn’t know how to care for a kid.

Hope/fear: Hope that April comes back for Molly. And that Ed will treat Molly well. Fear – How will Molly cope?

Beginning: (Hook) April drops off Molly, her 10-year-old daughter with Ed.

Middle: (Drama) Molly melts down and chases after the car.

Ending: (Intrigue) Ed picks Molly up and takes her inside.

2. INT ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: Ed has his cook and right-hand person Jane take Molly upstairs to get settled in her room.

Essence: Molly meets Jane and Chessie (the dog) for the first time; Molly sees the restaurant for the first time.

Conflict: Molly doesn’t want to be there and is still wiping away tears. Molly hates seafood!

Subtext: Jane and Ed exchange glances as if they know something

Hope/fear: Hope Molly can adjust eventually; Fear – What if it’s horrible?

Beginning: (Apprehension) Ed introduces Molly to his dog, Chessie. Molly looks around the restaurant.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Ed introduces Molly to his cook, Jane who looks over her glasses at Molly.

Ending: (Apprehension) Jane takes Molly upstairs to her bedroom

3. INT BEDROOM OVER RESTAURANT – DAY CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: Jane and Chessie show Molly her room and tell her how things operate.

Essence: Molly looks around her bedroom; Molly gets to know Jane and Chessie a bit

Conflict: Molly doesn’t want to be there

Subtext: Molly is very sad that her mom has abandoned her

Hope/fear: Hope that Molly will like her room, Jane and Chessie. Fear that she’ll run away if she doesn’t.

Beginning: (Fear) Jane and Chessie show Molly into her bedroom to get settled.

Middle: (Sadness) Jane explains to Molly how Ed likes things to run and what is expected of her.

Ending: (Curiosity) Molly asks questions. Jane answers a couple, but then has to go.

4. INT RESTAURANT KITCHEN – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly comes downstairs and goes into the kitchen where Jane is working on the dinner courses.

Essence: Molly talks to Jane; Ed interrupts

Conflict: Ed tells Molly that she will work in the restaurant. Molly objects strongly.

Subtext: Ed is in charge. Molly must be subordinate.

Hope/fear: Hope that Molly will have a say in her own life. Fear Molly and Ed will continue to bump heads.

Beginning: (External Dilemma) Molly goes into Jane’s kitchen to ask her more questions. Jane tells her to be quiet and observe. But Molly says she’s not like that.

Middle: (Superior Position) Ed interrupts the kitchen talk and tells Molly that she will be working in the dining room cleaning tables every day after school.

Ending: (Conflict) Molly protests and calls it against child labor laws. Ed counters with the old “while you’re living under my roof” saying. Molly storms up to her room.

5. INT RESTAURANT – EVENING CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: Molly is standing in the restaurant disgusted watching the patrons eat crabs. Ed yells at her to wipe down a table. Molly is mad that she’s been forced into child labor.

Essence: Molly hates it here already.

Conflict: Molly and Ed argue because she doesn’t want to work.

Subtext: Molly and Ed are both mad at April.

Hope/fear: Hope they can find a way to get along. Fear they will never get along.

Beginning: (Hate) Molly is standing in the restaurant because she doesn’t want to work and hates seafood!

Middle: (Drama) Ed yells at Molly to wipe down a table.

Ending: (Defiance) Molly slowly wipes the table off.

6. EXT RESTAURANT – EVENING CONTINUOUS

Scene Arc: Molly takes out the garbage and gets hassled.

Essence: Molly wonders what Ed is to her.

Conflict: Molly is teased by the bus boys. They call her “Ed’s princess love child”.

Subtext: Molly wonders why they would say that. Ed’s not her father.

Hope/fear: Hope that Molly finds out that Ed is her father. Fear she won’t accept it.

Beginning: (Disgust) Molly reluctantly collects the stinky brown paper full of crab carcasses and takes it outside to the trash dumpster.

Middle: (Superior Position) The bus boy follows her outside and makes fun of her when she gets crab fluid all over herself. He calls her “Ed’s princess love child” (Molly doesn’t know Ed is her father)

Ending: (Conflict) Molly tries to physically fight with the bus boy. He laughs at her. Ed breaks it up. Molly runs inside.

7. EXT BEACH – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly meets Mars on the beach under an umbrella

Essence: Molly and Mars both love dance

Conflict: Ed said one of his rules was not dancing

Subtext: Molly hopes Mars can help her with her dream

Hope/fear: Can Molly get Mars to help her?

Beginning: (Intrigue) Molly is dancing on the beach and notices Mars. They meet.

Middle: (Sadness) Mars is sad because he lost his partner. Molly is sad because her mother left her. They bond.

Ending: (Bonding) Mars explains he’s a choreographer. Molly says she’s a dancer. Instant friends as they discuss Molly’s dream to dance in the Nutcracker Ballet in NYC.

ACT TWO

8. INT MARS DANCE STUDIO/HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: Mars is coaching Molly on steps for the Nutcracker. Molly and Mars talk about getting to NYC for the audition.

Essence: Shows the bonding between Molly and Mars

Conflict: How will they get to NYC for the audition? Molly sneaks out of the house every day to dance with Mars

Subtext: Ed will never let Molly go

Hope/fear: Molly will get to NYC for the audition and get a dream part

Beginning: (Happiness) Molly is dancing in Mars’ home studio. They are working on the Nutcracker choreography.

Middle: (Intrigue) Mars tells Molly that he called a colleague in NY and got her an audition.

Ending: (Internal/External Dilemma) Molly is ecstatic but knows Ed will never let her go.

9. EXT CHESAPEAKE BAY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Molly and Ed have a fight and Molly runs out into a storm. Chessie follows her and they get into a small boat. Ed tries to get to them, but Mars sees them and swims out to them, pulling them to shore.

Essence: Mars saves Molly, not Ed. Ed acts more upset about Chessie than Molly.

Conflict: Molly and Ed fight over her dancing and working at the restaurant

Subtext: Ed can’t take care of Molly. Ed feels bad about forcing her out into the storm.

Hope/fear: We hope Molly gets saved!

Beginning: (Superior Position) Molly and Ed are arguing about going to NYC to audition. Ed made it clear, no dancing, no leaving. A storm is raging outside.

Middle: (Surprise) Molly runs out into the storm. Chessie follows her. They get into a dinghy, and she pushes off into the storm. Chessie barks at her from the shore. Ed yells at her to come back. Mars sees this from his window and comes out to help.

Ending: (Suspense) Molly is caught in the waves and goes overboard. She is screaming for help. Ed doesn’t know what to do. Mars swims out to Molly and pulls her to shore. He picks her up and carries her to Ed’s house.

10. INT MOLLY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Molly is recovering from her ordeal. Jane is helping her dry off and getting her ready for bed.

Essence: Molly and Jane talk about Ed and why he is the way he is

Conflict: Molly is still upset with Ed

Subtext: Molly wonders if she should stay or go away forever

Hope/fear: Hope Molly can make up with Ed. Fear she might run away.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Jane is helping Molly dry off and get ready for bed after her ordeal. Jane explains that Ed has a tough exterior, but he is soft inside. Molly should be patient with him.

Middle: (Surprise) Molly bluntly asks if Ed is her father. Jane will not answer…it’s not her place.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Ed awkwardly sticks his head in the door. Tells Molly he will talk to her tomorrow and get some rest.

11. INT MOLLY’S BEDROOM – MORNING

Scene Arc: Molly packs a small bag. She climbs out the second-floor window and shimmies down the roof. She runs down the beach towards Mars’ house.

Essence: Molly runs away with Mars to NYC to go to the audition

Conflict: Molly doesn’t have permission from Ed to go

Subtext: Molly refuses to give up her dream for anyone

Hope/fear: Molly and Mars will be safe, and she will get the part

Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Molly packs a small bag.

Middle: (Suspense) Molly climbs out the second-floor window

Ending: (Suspense) Molly shimmies down the roof and runs towards Mars’ house down the beach.

ACT THREE

12. INT MARS’ CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Mars and Molly are on the way to NYC for the Nutcracker audition they have been secretly working on.

Essence: Molly lies to Mars and says that Ed said she could go because he felt bad about the storm.

Conflict: Molly lying could get Mars in big trouble.

Subtext: Molly is determined to follow her dream no matter the consequences.

Hope/fear: Hope Molly will be safe, and she will get the part she desires. Fear something might happen to her in NYC or won’t get a part.

Beginning: (Lying) Molly tells Mars that Ed said she could go because he felt bad about the storm incident.

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Molly is so happy to be getting her chance at her dream, yet upset that she’s had to lie to Mars and Ed to do it.

Ending: (Suspense) Ed texts Molly and threatens Mars, but Molly doesn’t tell Mars about the text.

13. EXT ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly and Mars return from NYC. Molly has gotten a good part in the Nutcracker.

Essence: Mars tries to convince Ed to let her go back to NYC because it’s the opportunity of a lifetime for a girl.

Conflict: Mars tries to tell Ed what a good dancer Molly is, but he doesn’t want to hear it. He forbids Molly from going to NYC again.

Subtext: Ed is scared that something will happen to Molly or that she won’t return as April didn’t.

Hope/fear: Hopefully, Molly will get to dance her dream

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Molly faces Ed upon returning from NYC. Mars tries to convince Ed that Molly is an accomplished dancer, and this is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Middle: (Conflict) Ed says she cannot go back to NYC, and he forbids her from dancing at all. He forbids her from seeing Mars again too. She has to concentrate on her work in the restaurant.

Ending: (Betrayal) Molly protests. Mars leaves against Molly’s wishes. Molly says she’ll never forgive Ed for smashing her dream.

14. INT ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Ed and Molly have a huge fight about the Nutcracker. After Jane tells Ed that Molly did it again and ran off to NYC, he decides he’s going after them.

Essence: Ed goes after Molly and informs the police that she ran away with Mars to NYC

Conflict: Mars wants to talk to Ed before they go but Molly makes excuses

Subtext: Ed is worried sick about Molly; Molly will do anything to dance

Hope/fear: Ed can get to Molly before anything happens to her. But also, that Molly makes her dream come true.

Beginning: (Conflict) Ed and Molly fight about him not letting her dance.

Middle: (Betrayal) Molly sneaks out. Jane saw Molly and Mars drive off and she betrays Molly by telling Ed.

Ending: (Intrigue) Ed goes after Molly and Mars in NYC.

ACT FOUR

15. INT NYC BALLET THEATER – EVENING

Scene Arc: Ed storms into the theater with a policeman! But when he sees Molly exquisitely dancing in the Nutcracker, he backs down and dismisses the police. He can’t bring himself to ruin her dream after all.

Essence: Ed realizes he was wrong; Sees April and all the emotions of the past flood back to him.

Conflict: April wants to return, but Ed will need to think about it.

Subtext: Ed is still hurt that she left him.

Hope/fear: Hopefully, they can work it out so they can be a family for once.

Beginning: (Character changes radically – Ed/More interesting setting) Seeing Molly dancing in the Nutcracker Ed breaks down and changes his mind about dragging her home. He decides not to sic the cops on Mars.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) After the performance, Ed runs into April. (Not an accident on April’s part.) They discuss that Molly danced beautifully.

Ending: (Character changes radically – April) April asks Ed if she can come back to him. Ed in a weak moment, says he’ll think about it. Ed drives back to the Bay alone.

16. EXT. PATIO ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly returns from NYC with her tail between her legs. Ed has had time to reflect, so he doesn’t attack Molly as she expects him to do. They discuss what has happened, how they both have been hurt by April and whether to invite her back.

Essence: Ed has changed by seeing Molly dance and realizing it’s her calling just as it was April’s. Molly has reached her dream, but finds it bittersweet because she hurt Ed.

Conflict: Ed and Molly have to put aside their past to move ahead. Will they ever forgive April?

Subtext: Ed and Molly are more alike than different and have more in common than they knew.

Hope/fear: Hope that the reunion will last. Fear that April will ruin it.

Beginning: (Defiance) Molly returns from her triumphant performance in NY and immediately tells Ed she’s sorry, but it was her dream. She’ll die without dancing!

Middle: (Character changes radically/Surprise) Ed says he knows about dreams. Ed lets Molly know that he and April were in love.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) Molly is surprised at his reaction. Ed tells Molly that April has asked to come home. Can they both forgive her?

17. INT. ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: April returns. April tells Ed that Molly is his daughter and not the choreographer’s she ran off with years before.

Essence: April makes amends and confesses her love for Ed

Conflict: Ed still loves April too, but can he forgive her for leaving him?

Subtext: Ed’s hurt. April was hurt.

Hope/fear: Hope that they can work it out. Fear they won’t and it’ll all fall apart again.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) April returns and begs Ed to forgive her. He says it’s Molly’s forgiveness she needs to beg for.

Middle: (Reveal) April tells Ed that Molly is his daughter. She was pregnant when she left him.

Ending: (Relief) Ed breaks down and cries. He is happy that Molly is really his despite everything that has happened.

18. EXT. MARS’ DRIVEWAY – DAY

Scene Arc: Molly says goodbye to Mars. Mars leaves to go back to NYC and pick up his life as a choreographer.

Essence: Molly’s dream has been realized thanks to Mars. Show love between them and endearing friendship.

Conflict: Molly doesn’t want to say goodbye to Mars. He’s her best friend at the Bay and her mentor.

Subtext: Love can exist between an unlikely pair such as a grown man and a 10-year-old girl.

Hope/fear: Hope that Mars can return to his life and be a success. Fear that Molly will never dance as she did in NYC again.

Beginning: (Separation) Mars and Molly are in his driveway to say goodbye to each other. They talk about their unlikely friendship.

Middle: (Suspense) Ed comes over and surprisingly thanks Mars for taking care of Molly better than he did.

Ending: (Creating a Future) Mars says he’ll be back next summer as he drives away.

19. INT. SHED BEHIND RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: One Month Later. April has set up a dance studio in the shed behind the restaurant and teaches dance.

Essence: April is teaching Molly dance when they aren’t working in the restaurant.

Conflict: Ed emerges from the restaurant and sits on the porch looking exhausted. He has given in to dance.

Subtext: Ed is ill. April and Molly are happy to be dancing again.

Hope/fear: Hope that April and Molly continue to dance. Fear that Ed isn’t going to be around much longer.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Molly is in the shed teaching dance to smaller little girls.

Middle: (Reveal) April comes out of the restaurant to check on Molly’s teaching and bring water to the girls. Molly thanks April for making the studio for her.

Ending: (Drama) Ed comes out on the porch looking absolutely exhausted and sits on the porch watching April and Molly.

20. EXT. PATIO ED’S SEAFOOD RESTAURANT – DAY

Scene Arc: Six months later. April has been running the restaurant which is closed today. Ed is lying on a chaise on the patio with a blanket over him. Molly is sitting with him. April brings hot tea.

Essence: April, Ed, and Molly have been a family for 6 months. Ed dies. Molly dances a tribute to Ed on the beach at the end.

Conflict: Ed looks peaceful when he dies. April and Molly console each other.

Subtext: Ed is gone.

Hope/fear: Hope April and Molly can be happy without Ed. Fear is they won’t be happy without him.

Beginning: (Twist) Ed is lying on a chaise on the patio with a blanket over him. Molly is sitting with him. April brings hot tea.

Middle: (Surprise) Ed makes amends and declares his love for April and Molly as he dies peacefully.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Molly dances on the beach to express her love and grief over Ed. April looks on.

[ROBERT Ingalls]

Module 4, Lesson 10 – Fascinating Scenes Outline

Subject: Rob Ingalls’ Fascinating Scene Outlines!

MY VISION:

To be a Talented writer that delivers quality fast, with the film industry seeking me out.

WIL: This was harder than I thought. I need to go back over this several times to really make an impact.

Title: GRAND HEIST ACADEMY

Genre: Action

=====================================================

ACT-1

TEASER

MONTAGE – Different thieves steal various items

– Jewelry, cars, gold, cryptocurrency, airplanes, art, yachts, etc

– Thieves wear various outfits: Uniforms, street gear, black skin tights, etc

Scene Arc: – None. Various thieves stealing various items

Essence: Intriguing scene of various thefts taking place by numerpus thieves using various means

— Two men wearing black skin-tight outfits, black pull-over face mask, black gloves, descend from ceiling onto

jewelry display room, red trip lasers across the floor. They empty display cases of jewelry

— A fuel truck driver pulls up to a private jet and loads fuel. Then drives away towards hanger and parks truck.

Unseen, he removes his work clothes to display a pilot’s uniform. He walks to the jet, climbs in, starts jet, flies away.

— A cat burglar uses torch to open safe, removes gold bars (and latest titty magazine)

— A room full of nerds crack cryptocurrency vaults of foreign countries (N. Korea) and steal their coin

— A thief removes a painting from museum wall, breaks apart frame and rolls up canvas. Sends it up tube and away.

— A yacht captain sails away from the dock with beautiful women onboard. On the dock is pissed off owner, screaming

his yacht was stolen and the women are his. The ladies don’t care.

— Expensive supercars race town’s streets until one car veers off and disappears, stolen by the driver

END MONTAGE

1. INT. ACADEMY / HALLWAY – DAY

Scene Arc: HARRIS BLACKWOOD walks down hall, pauses at glass trophy case, wishes his name on top graduate trophy.

Fantasizes him breaking glass case and swapping out trophy with his name on it.

Essence: To show pain and want/desire for something he missed or didn’t get

Conflict: Who deserves the trophy? Simon or Harris?

Subtext: Harris believes he should have won trophy and not Simon (years ago)

Hope/Fear: We hope the right person got trophy. We fear Harris may do something wrong by breaking glass case.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Harris in dark suit/tie enters building. He pauses at a glass case with trophys. Appears to be a school.

Middle: (Character changes radically) Harris fantasizes himself breaking glass case and swapping out trophy with his name on it.

Ending: (Surprise) Student walks past. “Hey Mr Blackwood. Betcha you wish it was your name listed.” Harris fantasy over.

2. INT. ACADEMY / CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris starts new class. Teaches basics. Stares at female instructor next door.

Essence: Intro HARRIS BLACKWOOD, Instructor at Academy (but we don’t yet know type of academy). Students learn general education

(physics, psychology, math) but we don’t yet know it’s geared toward theft/heist.

Conflict: Harris is bored/frustrated with life as an instructor. He wants to get out into real world.

Subtext: There’s something more here than just classroom academics.

Hope/Fear: We fear Harris may do something stupid.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) HARRIS BLACKWOOD enters room filled with students. He’s dressed in expensive suit/tie, carries briefcase.

He wears expensive watch and ring. The students unsure about him.

Middle: Harris discusses class agenda: Science, physics, math, psychology.

(Surprise) Harris gives out first assignment: Wall climbing

Ending: (Major Twist) While class climbs wall, two thieves decend from ceiling in the background, throw hood over instructor,

steal his watch and walet, collect students bags, return to ceiling.

3. INT. HOSPITAL / CHILDREN’S WARD – DAY

Scene Arc: SIMON LA’ROUCHE is lead entertainment with kids. Afterwards, he leaves alone and is depressed. His brother

never made it out of hospital alive.

Essence: Simon bonds with young kids as he displays magic tricks. His way of staying in connection with younger brother (deceased).

Conflict: Kids are fighting cancer. Simon lost young brother to cancer.

Subtext: Simon wishes he could do something to bring his brother back.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon heals/ Fear that it will get worse

Beginning: (Intrigue) SIMON LA’ROUCHE conducts magic tricks.

Middle: (Surprise) His audience are kids with cancer. This is a kids cancer ward at hospital. Simon disappears. Returns behind audience.

Ending: (Uncomfortable Moment) A small boy tugs on Simon’s clothes, tries to say something but unable due to breathing tubes.

4. INT. CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon happy with kids. Sad when he leaves. We notice hospital ward named in honor of his younger dead brother.

Essence: Show loneliness in Simon. Sad at loss of younger bro.

Conflict: Internal fight with brother’s death and moving on with life.

Subtext: Can Simon live up to the image his bro had of him before he died?

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon finds peace. Fear that his brother’s death will adversely affect him.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) We notice hospital ward named in honor of his younger dead brother.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Flashback to time with brother. Happy times.

Ending: (Character changes radically) Flashback continued. Rush to hospital. Crisis. Sad/Depressed when he leaves hospital.

5. INT./EXT. CAR – DAY

Scene Arc: Loneliness to being top dog on campus. Everyone knows him, though they are strangers to him.

Essence: Simon arrives at Academy. We don’t yet know what kind of academy. But Simon is important to them.

Conflict: He won original challenge that no one yet has beat. Yet he cheated (creative liberties, aka Kobayashi Maru)

Subtext: Simon doesn’t feel he deserves all the attention.

Hope/Fear: Hope he does well. Fear he messes up.

Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Simon arrives to same building as Harris. Parks in Guest spot, next to Harris’ car.

He clips car, realizes its Harris’, smirks, backs up, clips it again.

Middle: (Intrigue) People recognize Simon. Almost bow down to him.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Walks past trophy case. Spies his name. Simon doesn’t feel he deserves all the attention.

6. INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris is good instructor, then gets shivers when Simon pops head into class.

Essence: We see history between Simon and Harris. They were former students years ago.

Conflict: Something is between them. Simon teases Harris about winning years ago.

Subtext: Not real friendly, despite Simon acting friendly. Harris hesitant.

Hope/Fear: Hope they get a long. Fear there will be tension migrating to something worse.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Harris instructing. He’s good. Simon walks hallway, searches in each classroom.

Middle: (Uncomfortable Moment) Simon pops head inside. Jackpot. Simon teases Harris about winning years ago.

Ending: (Character changes radically) Harris stutters. Seeing Simon after all these years brings back difficult memories.

7. EXT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon proud of teasing Harris, then mad at himself for doing so

Essence: Simon guilty about winning.

Conflict: Harris feels he should have won, not Simon.

Subtext: Deep down, Simon agrees with Harris.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon comes to terms with truth. Fear Harris will do something to Simon as payback.

Beginning: (Superior Position) Simon leaves classroom. proud for teasing Harris

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Spies trophy case again. Has remorse, guilty

Ending: (Major twist) Simon feels guilty of being top dog. Mad at himself.

8. EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY

Scene Arc: HARRIS clips Simon’s car again. Puts dent. Drives away without telling Simon.

Essence: Harris fights back against Simon.

Conflict: Harris payback to Simon, even if little clip.

Subtext: Harris pissed at Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope this is end of payback. Fear its just begun.

Beginning: (Superior Position) This time Harris clips Simon’s car. Puts dent.

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Drives away without telling Simon.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Simon discovers dent.

9. INT. CLASSROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: Graduating students pile into room, awaiting grades. They pump fists in celebration – all graduating.

Essence: Graduating students complete Senior Project. We learn Academy is for thieves GRAND HEIST ACADEMY.

Conflict: Some may not graduate… but they all do.

Subtext: There’s something unique going on here.

Hope/Fear: Hope all students graduate. Fear some may not.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Graduating students pile into room, awaiting grades.

Middle: (Intrigue) They pump fists in celebration – all graduating.

Ending: (Surprise) These are the thieves in beginning of film. This is GRAND HEIST ACADEMY

10. INT. AUDITORIUM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon arrives, gives pep talk. Teases by stealing everyone’s wallet. Mentions he is RETIRING.

Essence: Show Simon as top thief, then mention he’s stopping business.

Conflict: INCITING INCIDENT: Students challenge Simon. Simon tries to avoid.

Subtext: Simon can’t do this anymore (or ever)

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon takes on challenge and prove he’s worth adulation. Fear he doesn’t/isn’t.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Simon walks on stage to podium. Audience fills seats.

Middle: (Suspense/Uncertainty) Simon gives pep talk. Teases by stealing everyone’s wallet. Mentions he is RETIRING.

Ending: (Major Twist) INCITING INCIDENT: Students challenge Simon to major heist: Steal his weight in gold without being caught

and without museum discovering even after heist. Simon tries to avoid challenge.

11. INT. AUDITORIUM – CONTINUE

Scene Arc: Simon trying to get out of challenge. Harris prods him into accepting (double dog dare)

Essence: Harris double dog dares Simon into accepting challenge

Conflict: Harris and Simon are enemies. Harris gets Simon to accept challenge against his desire.

Subtext: Harris wins a small battle but not the war.

Hope/Fear: Hope all goes well with Simon. Fear it doesn’t.

Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Simon trying to get out of challenge.

Middle: (Character changes radically) Harris prods him into accepting (double dog dare)

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Simon accepts against his desires.

ACT-2

12. INT. HARRIS’ OFFICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris changes thief database. Simon picks wrong guys. Failure in challenge.

Essence: Harris changes database of thieves skills to hurt Simon

Conflict: Harris vs Simon

Subtext: Harris wants Simon to lose challenge

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can still pull off heist. Fear the team messes up.

Beginning: (Betrayal) Harris changes thief database.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Simon picks wrong guys.

Ending: (Superior Position) Simon will begin challenge using the WRONG team of experts.

13. INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon begins challenge with observed confidence. Inner fear of Simon rises.

Essence: Simon struggles to do simple heist and we wonder why.

Conflict: Is Simon’s issues with Harris input or is there something inner in Simon that kills deal?

Subtext: Simon struggling inwards. Why?

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull off heist. Fear he can’t.

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Simon begins challenge with observed confidence.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Inner fear of Simon rises.

Ending: (Superior Position) Simon struggles to do simple heist and we wonder why. Caused by wrong team of expert help?

Or is it Simon’s incompetance?

14. INT. ACADEMY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Eager students anticipate great learning. Instead, see Simon fail.

Essence: Students watch via cameras. Wonder why Simon fails.

Conflict: Students should be seeing Simon success. Instead see Simon fail.

Subtext: Simon isn’t who they thought he was.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon is still the person they thought. Fear he doesn’t deserve top thisf.

Beginning: (Suspense) Students watch monitors displaying Simon and his heist efforts.

Middle: (Mystery) Students wonder why he fails.

Ending: (Major Twist) Students question if Simon really is the top thief of the academy.

15. INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

16. INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Back and forth, Harris screws up Simon’s efforts.

Essence: For each effort by Simon, Harris does a counter, messing up Simon’s plans.

Conflict: How would Simon do without Harris input?

Subtext: Simon would have screwed up anyway, without Harris input.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon succeeds. Fear he won’t.

Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Simon tries heist technique.

Middle: (Mystery) Simon’s efforts fail

Ending: (Uncertainty) Simon tries again or uses different technique. Fails again.

17. INT. MUSEUM/JEWELRY STORE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: New effort to steal gold. Doesn’t work.

Essence: Simon enlists outside help (popular magician who is a frend of Simon) to do vanishing elephant tricks

Conflict: Old tried and true methods don’t work. Try new effort.

Subtext: Nomatter what Simon does, he can’t win.

Hope/Fear: Hope new approach works. Fear it doesn’t.

Beginning: (More Interesting Setting/Major Twist) Simon enlists outside help (popular magician who is a frend of Simon)

Middle: (Intrigue) Vanishing elephant trick.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Failed attempt. Simon frustrated.

18. INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon struggles to win. Harris stronger effort. Harris winning.

Essence: Harris double-downs his effort to stop Simon.

Conflict: Harris vs Simon

Subtext: Harris is stronger than Simon.

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull this out. Fear Harris will win.

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Simon pushes hard to win challenge.

Middle: (Suspense) Harris pushes even harder to prevent Simon winning.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Harris appears to be stronger than Simon.

19. INT. ACADEMY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Students go from trust to lack of with Simon. Harris Intern claims fraud.

Essence: Students begin to doubt Simon’s abilities and his standing

Conflict: How is it Simon won trphy and yet can’t do basic heist?

Subtext: Simon isn’t who/what he says he is.

Hope/Fear: Hope we understand Simon and he’s good, fear he sucks

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Students lose trust in Simon

Middle: (External Dilemma) Students question Simon’s trophy.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) Harris’ Intern claims Simon is a fraud

20. INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Harris confronts Simon for truth. Simon ignores Harris

Essence: Harris wants Simon to confess that he sucks and Harris should have won trophy.

Simon doesn’t bite. Simon determined to prove everyone wrong, even himself.

Conflict: Harris vs. Simon

Subtext: Harris convinced Simon is a fraud. Simon won’t admit.

Hope/Fear: Hope Harris is wrong. Fear he’s right.

Beginning: (Suspense) Harris confronts Simon for truth. Simon ignores Harris

Middle: (Uncertainty) Simon doesn’t bite. Simon determined to prove everyone wrong, even himself.

Ending: (Internal Dilemma) Simon afraid to admit truth.

ACT-3

21. INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon with no plan to Simon with grand plan

Essence: Simon comes up with a new plan that is BOLD – Tunnel underneath gold statue and hollow it out.

Conflict: Harris proves Simon sucks but Simon comes up with great plan that will work.

Subtext: Simon to prove to all he’s good

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can pull this off, fear he can’t

Beginning: (Internal Dilemma) Simon with no plan

Middle: (Uncertainty) Harris and students claim fraud

Ending: (Surprise) Simon has new bold plan: tunnel underneath large gold statue, hollow out gold

22. EXT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon begins tunneling while Harris works to cave in tunneling

Essence: Despite new grand plan, Harris is there to sabotauge it

Conflict: Despite new grand plan, Harris is there to sabotauge it

Subtext: Harris will continue trying to stop Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope Harris stops, fear he won’t

Beginning: (Suspense) Simon begins tunneling

Middle: (Betrayal) Harris’s efforts to create cave-in. Harris is there to sabotauge it

Ending: (More Interesting setting) Simon presses on with tunneling.

23. INT. ACADEMY OFFICE – DAY

24. INT. FBI – DAY

25. INT. POLICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon works plan and it looks good. Then Harris screws it up, calls in outside forces.

Essence: Harris contacts police, FBI – outside help to stop Simon

Conflict: Simon gets arrested after tunnel collapses

Subtext: Harris is not going to let up

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon can be let go. Fear he’s in jail for a long time.

Beginning: (Uncertainty) Despite Harris’ efforts, Simon continues to tunnel.

Middle: (Betrayal) Harris contacts police, FBI – gets outside help to stop Simon

Ending: (Major Twist) Simon arrested

26. INT. POLICE – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon arrested, then tells he’s innocent

Essence: Simon talks his way out of being arrested/jailed. The police think drugs or human trafficking, not heist

Conflict: If not Simon, then who built the tunnels?

Subtext: Simon really is tunnel master

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon freed, Fear he will be in jail a long time. Hope he can return to tunneling

Beginning: (Betrayal) Simon accused of drug smuggling or human trafficking.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Simon convinces the police he’s just in wrong place at wrong time.

Ending: (Major Twist) Police don’t buy Simon’s excuse.

27. INT./EXT. POLICE – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon in jail, breaks out using hi-tech gear from ACADEMY storage

Essence: Simon breaks out of jail

Conflict: Police try to track down Simon

Subtext: Harris feeds police with more info on Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope Simon gets away, fear he doesn’t

Beginning: (Intrigue) Simon uses team and hi-tech gear to break out of jail

Middle: (Betrayal) Police try to track down Simon. Harris feeds more info to them.

Ending: (Surprise) Simon is free!

28. INT. ACADEMY – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon tells truth about winning trophey. Expect trophy to go to Harris. Trophey stays put.

Essence: Simon confesses to Harris that the tropy belongs to Harris

Conflict: Harris still does not get academy recognition

Subtext: Despite Simon spilling beans, the academy still choses Simon

Hope/Fear: Hope that Simon does right thing. Fear that Harris will still be labled low.

Beginning: (Character changes radically) Simon confesses to Harris about trophy

Middle: (Betrayal) Harris’s efforts to sabotague Simon exposed. He still doesn’t get academy recognition.

Ending: (Surprise) Simon keeps trophy

ACT-4

29. INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Simon close to winning challenge, then another problem

Essence: Tunnel complete, Simon begins melting gold/hollow out statue

Conflict: Melts too much in small area – penetrates shell of statue

Subtext: Harris still at it – throwing wrench in path

Hope/Fear: Hope that Simon and Harris get what they want/ Fear they don’t

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Tunnel complete. Torch used to hollow out gold.

Middle: Torch penetrates gold shell of statue. All efforts stopped.

Ending: Simon remelts gold and fixes penetration. Looks good!

30. INT. ACADEMY AUDITORIUM – DAY

Scene Arc: Simon enters with gold. Wins challenge. Then confesses to class

Essence: Simon wins but also confesses

Conflict: Simon and Harris end conflict

Subtext: They are still good friends like in old days

Hope/Fear: Hope all is well. Fear the battle continues.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) Simon brings in his weight in gold. Large scale. Gold one end, Simon sitting on scale of other end.

Middle: (Internal Dilemma) Simon confesses to audience that Harris should have won.

Ending: (Character changes radically) Simon and Harris friends again. Harris gets duplicate trophy with his name. Co-winners!

[David Holloway]

Dave Holloway scenes

My vision: I would like to be a successful writer in Hollywood, with a number of successful movies to my credit that put forward a core belief about environmental, political, or personal values.

What I learned doing this assignment is it opens up new possibilities for character and plot.

Act 1

scene 1

Arc: Nigel begins his closing argument and finishes it.

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

Beginning (intrigue): He says she had a contentious relationship with the children’s father. We wonder if he physically abused her.

Middle (mystery): He says she has an uncommon way of earning money. We wonder if she’s a prostitute.

End (cliffhanger): He says children’s father has threatened her life if she gains full custody. We wonder if he’ll kill her if she wins.

scene 2

Arc: Nigel talks to senior partner about pro bono case and another case he has.

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

Beginning (character changes radically): He tells the man he understands why they give him pro bono cases: “so the best work is reserved for you and your cronies.”

Middle (uncomfortable moment): Partner says “shows the bar we care about something besides money.” Nigel laughs.

End (suspense): He tells partner he’s looking forward to Wednesday morning. That’s the morning the papers carry an article about dark secrets of the firm he gave a reporter.

scene 3

Arc: Nigel’s friends at firm kid him about being dominated by wife and ask him to go to pub with them. He turns them down to wait for communication from wife.

INT. LAW OFFICE HALLWAY – DAY

Beginning (more interesting setting): Instead of talking in firm’s hallway, they talk at bar.

Middle (mislead/reveal): They ask him to stay and drink, and he tells them he has to go back to the office for more work. Actually, he goes back to his apartment, hoping to hear from his wife on SKYPE, since she’s in a foreign country and he’s worried about her.

End (betrayal): One of the others strongly encourages him to stay and drink. He secretly sees Nigel as competition for a partnership promotion and is trying to sabotage his efforts at the firm by encouraging him to be lax in his work ethic.

Scene 4

Arc: Nigel’s wife calls and tells him she’s in a military state that unfriendly to journalists. She expresses fear and Nigel expresses fear and concern.

INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT

Beginning (internal dilemma): Nigel is impressed by wife’s reporting overseas and knows she’s rapidly climbing ladder as journalist. He loves her, but has resentment that her work outshines his, and she may end up making more money.

Middle (external dilemma): He says he would like her to quit overseas reporting as too dangerous and taking her away from him too much, but knows she enjoys it and quitting it would severely compromise her career.

End (surprise): She tells him she has learned that the military state she’s in, Shiloh, has agents provocateurs in democracies around the world, who are working to undermine their governments to try and bring about authoritarian regimes in every country.

Scene 5

Arc: Nigel calls Cynthia’s editor and asks about her. Editor tells him they haven’t heard from her in three days and he’s worried.

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

Beginning (Superior Position): Editor tells Nigel he’s heard from her and everything’s fine. We know it’s not, or she would have contacted Nigel.

Middle (Major twist): Nigel becomes enraged at the editor for assigning Livia this dangerous assignment overseas. He tells him he’s going to sue him for negligently putting her in danger after assuring her she’d be safe.

End (Uncertainty): Editor says he’s got another employee in Shiloh who he’ll send to try to rescue Livia. We’re not sure if it’ll do any good.

Scene 6

Arc: Nigel sits in his office when he gets a SKYPE call from Livia, who is very scared and says Shiloh won’t let her leave the state and they’re following her everywhere. During the call, police enter her room and arrest her.

INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY

Beginning (Uncertainty): Livia puts on a brave face and assures him everything is fine and she’s safe in Shiloh. But her face looks tear-stained and there are dark circles of worry around her eyes, and he isn’t sure she’s being truthful.

Middle (Mislead/reveal): She tells him she has booked her flight to London from Shiloh and will be home in three days. She tries not to worry him, but three days later she’s in the Shiloh prison.

End (Cliffhanger): She tells him she has an “appointment” to two hours, and she says to remember she always loved him, leaving him very concerned for her survival.

Scene 7

Arc: Nigel meets with a government official, pleads for Livia’s release on a British talk show and enlists the Prime Minister’s help in getting her freed. None of these work.

INT. GOVERNMENT OFFICE – DAY

Beginning (Uncomfortable moment): Nigel appeals to the government official, and he becomes angry and tells him, “What do you want me to do about it? I don’t know Livia.”

Middle (Internal dilemma): On the television show, Nigel is unsure how emotional to get, thinking being emotional might move some in the audience to protest Shiloh’s actions. He finally gives in and breaks down during the show.

End (Character changes radically): During the Prime Minister’s words to the press, Nigel loses control and begins ranting nearby that the Prime Minister is weak and merely a tool for corporate interests.

Scene 8

Arc: Nigel watches his friend, Roger, play in a rugby game and later talks with him in a pub. Roger asks to go to Shiloh with him, and Nigel agrees.

EXT. RUGBY PITCH: DAY

Beginning (Character changes radically): Absorbing a hard tackle in the game, Roger loses control and starts beating the player who hit him to a pulp.

Middle (Major twist): While they discuss things in a pub, Roger admits he had an affair with Livia before she married Nigel.

End (surprise): Roger tells him his uncle was wounded in the Americans’ war in Iraq and put in a wheelchair, and he has always wanted to kill someone from a militaristic state since then. He asks Nigel if he can go, and Nigel accepts.

Act 2

Scene 9

Arc: Nigel and Roger board a plane to Los Angeles, located near the Shiloh capital, and during the flight the pilot announces the states along the east coast of North America have declared their airspace inviolate, so the plane will land in London.

INT. AIRPLANE – DAY

Beginning (internal dilemma): Nigel suffers from being torn by gratitude that Roger is coming along, accompanied by guilt that their mission is dangerous and he knows Roger could be killed.

Middle (uncomfortable moment): Roger asks Nigel if he’s up to this mission, because “you often shy away from conflict and danger.”

End (surprise): Nigel tells Roger he has a close family friend who’s high up in the English government, and he will ask him for help when they land.

Scene 10

Arc: In the first state, Industry, they get on a bus that will cross the state. During the ride, a man tells them of the planned workers’ uprising against the Industry government, which is dominated by business. Police board the bus to arrest the man, and he and his two bodyguards, joined by Roger, outfight the two cops.

INT. BUS – DAY

Beginning (major twist): Two police board the bus and try to arrest Nigel and Roger, having been sent by Shiloh to do so. Roger and Nigel succeed in defeating the men in a fight.

Middle (character changes): Nigel is so moved by the stories the man tells about the workers’ oppression by business interests in Shiloh that he promises the man he’ll do everything he can to help their cause when he returns to London.

End (uncomfortable moment): The workers’ representative denounces Nigel as a pampered member of the ruling class and refuses his offer of help.

Scene 11

Arc: They take a taxi across Elysium, an environmentalist state and see its natural beauty.

INT. TAXI – DAY

Beginning (Intrigue): The taxi driver, who seems a normal guy, reveals that he is a former resident of Industry in exile and is plotting daily his return to lead a violent revolutionary movement that will overthrow Industry’s government.

Middle (character changes): During the drive, Roger is so enchanted by Elysium that he must be forcibly talked by Nigel out of staying there for the rest of his life.

End (betrayal): The taxi driver stops the cab and tries to hold the two hostage in the cab until the police come, because he is a Shiloh agent.

Scene 12

Arc: They take a train across Wilderness, a hunting and fishing state for the rich from Industry and meet three young Native American men who are going to confront Wildlife men at the border with their state, Tribal, about Wilderness hunters crossing the border into their state in pursuit of buffalo.

INT. TRAIN – DAY

Beginning (more interesting setting): There are no trains across Wildlife and no roads, so they must take a canoe with a guide to cross the state on a river.

Middle (internal dilemma): Nigel and Roger are so sympathetic to the story told by the three Native men that they want to stay and help them fight the hunters. But they realize they have no time to lose in getting to Shiloh and Livia.

End (cliffhanger): They get to the border with Tribal and see the Natives lined up against the hunters. It seems inevitable that fighting will soon start. As they leave on a small plane, they see fighting break out between the two groups below but fly away before they can see who will prevail.

Scene 13

Arc: They are told of a young woman who will fly them across Tribal, and she does, saving them several hours versus taking the train. She agrees to take them across the next state, El Dorado, but their plane has mechanical problems and they have to land in El Dorado.

INT. PLANE – DAY

Beginning (character changes): The young pilot seems a kind, conventional young woman, but when they tell her of what Shiloh has done to Livia, she reveals a longstanding hatred of Shiloh’s fascism, volunteers to fly them to Shiloh and also to try to help them free Livia.

End (major twist): They break out of jail and take off in one of the state’s helicopters, which Amelia, the young woman, learns to fly on spur of the moment.

Scene 14

Arc: Livia meets another prisoner, Adrienne, who tells her that almost all the prisoners will be executed soon. She meets a woman guard, June, who Adrienne told her was somewhat sympathetic. Livia tries to develop a friendship with her.

INT. PRISON – DAY

Beginning (major twist): Livia talks to another prison, Adrienne, who tells her she’s part of a radical underground in Shiloh that has been working for months to overthrow it. Adrienne’s husband will soon becoming with other mnembers of the radical force to take the prison by force and free the prisoners.

Middle (internal dilemma): June tells Livia she’ll help her escape if Livia will take her out of the state with her. Livia does not feel it will be possible to take June as well but pretends she will so June will help her escape.

End (uncomfortable moment): The prison warden tells Livia he’ll let her go free if she’ll have sex with him.

Act 3

Scene 15

Arc: They begin to fly across Independence, the next state, but have to land to refuel. They are near Denver and see part of the city is in flames. Amelia tells them about the poverty and crime there. As they are about to leave, outlaws approach them, and Nigel and Roger fire on them to enable themselves to escape.

EXT. INDEPENDENCE – DAY

Beginning (misinterpretation): They think the outlaws approaching are coming to kill them, but they are people trying to flee conditions in Independence and hoping Amelia and the others will fly them out. As the helicopter takes off, some cling to the bottom for a moment, trying to board.

Middle (major twist): Roger, seeing Amelia’s coolness under fire and being attracted also to her good nature, begins to fall in love with her.

End (surprise): As they fly away from the people they think are outlaws and realize they are safe again, they cheer, and Amelia softly places her hand on Roger’s knee, indicating an interest in him he didn’t know she felt.

Scene 16

Arc: The warden, Trask, believing Nigel must be near Shiloh, orders stepped-up security at its borders. He orders Livia’s execution to take place in three days, hoping to make Nigel watch it while in custody.

INT. PRISON – DAY

Beginning (Intrigue): Trask rages into a telephone, demanding that security be stepped up across Shiloh. He rages at his prison’s Chief of Security, demanding that Livia have no possible chance to escape.

Middle (Betrayal): He summons June to his office, tells her she’s been observed talking to Livia, and tells her if Livia escapes, June will be executed.

End (character changes): June erupts in fury, accusing Trask of having raped her 23 years before, and threatening to report it to Shiloh authorities.

Scene 17

Arc: June speaks more directly to Livia than usual, telling her of Trask’s threat. Livia tells her she hopes to escape, and June offers her any assistance she can. She asks Livia if they’ll take her with them, and Livia agrees to.

EXT. PRISON YARD – DAY

Beginning (uncomfortable moment): June talks to Livia. There are tears in her eyes as she recounts her conversation and Trask’s threat.

Middle (internal dilemma): Livia mentions she wants to escape, and June asks to go. Livia thinks taking June will make the escape more difficult, but relents due to June’s kindness, and says they’ll take her.

End (cliffhanger): June tells her that her execution is scheduled in three days. Livia tells her to be ready in the next day for some communication from Nigel or his friend Roger, and that they hope to escape within the next two days.

Act 4

Scene 18

Arc: Amelia flies the helicopter over Shiloh’s western border, believing security will be less heavy on the miles along the ocean. She flies low to the ground, hoping to avoid Shiloh’s radar. They land in an open field 20 miles from the capital.

EXT. SHILOH FIELD – NIGHT

Beginning (major twist): June communicates to Nigel, telling him of a man who’s part of the Rebellion and flies people out of the state to avoid capture and execution. She gives him the man’s name and phone number, and Nigel promises to get in touch with him.

Middle (surprise): Nigel tells Amelia to check into a hotel in the capital, Ardennes, so she’s not seen or associated with them and won’t be executed if they’re caught. She agrees.

End (uncomfortable moment): Nigel decides he will get caught by the police, hoping to get close to Livia and to Trask. When he parts from Roger, they’re reluctant to express their emotions, knowing this could be the last time they ever see each other. They express respect for each other and hope to succeed in their mission.

Scene 19

Arc: Nigel communicates to June his plan to free Livia and asks June to get a maintenance worker’s uniform for him. He gets arrested and imprisoned in the facility where Livia is held. Roger goes with Amelia to meet the pilot who flies people out of Shiloh.

EXT. SHILOH STREET – DAY

Beginning (more interesting setting): Nigel tries to remain undetected as he hurries along the Shiloh streets. When he gets to the prison, he stands in front of it, loudly berating Trask and the entire Shiloh system. Military police quickly appear, arrest him and bring him into the prison.

Middle (character changes): Nigel is brought by a guard to Trask’s office. Once there, he sees an elevated walkway between buildings and asks where it leads. Trask tells him it leads to the building where prisoners are executed. Nigel asks to see it, since Livia will be executed there. Trask agrees. As they’re on the walkway, Nigel hits Trask and a fight begins. Nigel is hit in the face, then hits Trask in the pit of the stomach. Trask is doubled over for a moment, and Nigel lifts him over the railing and he falls to his death.

End (cliffhanger): Nigel calls June and she meets him outside the warden’s office with the maintenance man’s uniform. He walks out of the prison in the uniform, and June takes Livia out of her cell in handcuffs and out the rear entrance of the prison.

Scene 20

Arc: The four and June reunited at a prearranged location several blocks from the prison and proceed to the place where the plan awaits. The pilot flies them out to freedom.

EXT. SHILOH STREET – DAY

Beginning (Surprise): Roger approaches a cab along the curb and offers the driver three hundred dollars to loan him his cab for two hours, on the condition that he not tell anyone of the incident. The man seems suspicious but agrees.

Middle (suspense): Amelia, Livia, June and Nigel meet in a grove of trees in a small park several blocks from the prison. They wait for several moments, worrying about Roger. Finally, he arrives, and they climb into his cab.

End (susprise): They meet the pilot with his plane at the site they’ve been told about. The plane takes off, and the pilot announces he has to take them to Mexico City, as it won’t be safe for them to fly out of the airport in Empire because of Shiloh’s agents there. As the plane heads out over the Pacific, they cheer for their freedom.

[JOEL STERN]

Module 4 Lesson 10: Joel Stern:
Fascinating Scenes Outline

My vision: To write eight screenplays
that become Hollywood blockbusters and to have a speaking line in at
least one of them.

What I learned from this assignment:
Making each scene outstanding using Interest Techniques.

1)

SUPER: “FRANCE, 1944”

EXT. MEDIEVAL CHURCH – DAY

Wounded Jim “Ace” McCarthy crawls
over to two badly shot buddies by the door. Vision blurred, Jim kicks
the door open, rolls a grenade under the pews. BOOM! Four German
teens dressed as civilians are killed. Jim drags his buddies to
safety under heavy fire.

Scene Arc: From ordinary soldier Jim to performing a Medal of
Honor feat.

Essence: Jim’s incredible heroism.

Conflict: Did he murder innocent civilians?

Subtext: Before passing out one of the soldiers saved calls Jim a
murderer.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim killed soldiers. We’re afraid they were
really innocent civilians.

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Binoculars lowered. The nerdy
Sergeant’s Coke bottle lenses are fogged but he thinks he sees four
German’s entering the church with explosives. He orders Jim to kill
them.

Middle: (Cliffhanger) Heavy fire. Jim reaches two wounded buddies
by the door, crudely dresses their wounds. Now it’s life or death for
Jim.

Ending: (Suspense) Jim kicks in the door, rolls under a pew and
bowls a grenade to the front. BOOM! Four dead teens dressed as
civilians. Jim helps both wounded GI’s to back to safety. (Intrigue)
One calls Jim a murderer before losing consciousness.

2)

EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY

Jim shakes away this flashback and
weaves through the packed platform not sure his wife and son
even look the same. He rejoins his wife and wheelchair-bound
son. When Jim bends down to hug Jim Jr. a whiskey flask falls from
his back pocket.

Scene Arc: From Jim reliving his personal hell to rejoining his
family, learning his child is wheelchair-bound from Polio and
revealing his drinking problem.

Essence: Jim and Jim Jr. aren’t the same people they were before
the war.

Conflict: Jane realizes her husband is broken. Can he accept his
son’s handicap? Is he a drinker?

Subtext: Jim’s pretending life will be the same as it was before
the war.

Hope/fear: We hope the war hasn’t destroyed Jim. But it might
have.

Beginning: Jim shakes off his Medal of Honor flashback with a swig
of whiskey, checks the picture in his hand of his wife and healthy
young son and gets off the train.

Middle: (Major twist) Jim finds wife Jane and Jim Jr. in the crowd
but the boy is in a wheelchair (Polio). Jane never told him.

Ending: As Jim and family leave the station Jim, pushing the
wheelchair crunches up the picture and drops it on the ground.

3)

INT. CAR DEALERSHIP – DAY

Jim’s new job: Selling used DeSoto’s. But he’s too honest and
keeps losing buyers.

Scene Arc: From Jim welcoming a customer to the customer
practically running out of the dealership.

Essence: Jim’s an honest guy. Perhaps too honest.

Conflict: Honesty and poor sales vs. being a money making smooth
talker.

Subtext: Jim doesn’t have it in him to be dishonest.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can learn “the game” and make money.
We fear he can’t.

Beginning: From Jim introducing himself to his first customer to
the car breaking down during the test drive and the customer leaving
him and the clunker in the middle of the road.

Middle: Every car feature Jim shows the customer fails.

Ending: Jim’s alone in the smoking clunker. Is this any way to make
a living?

4)

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING

Jim and his buddies play poker; easy going Jim loses a hand, turns
over the table and grabs a gun.

Scene Arc: From cool ‘ol Jim to a quick tempered stranger.

Essence: The war has left Jim with deep emotional scars.

Conflict: Jim now has a very ugly side. Can his friends deal with
it?

Subtext: Jim tells a knock-knock joke to make it seem
everything’s okay. It’s not.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim isn’t losing control of himself. Drinking
and temper flareups say otherwise.

Beginning: Jim and his buddies play poker, ribbing each other.
(Surprise) One reveals how Jim got the “Ace” nickname – a
sarcastic reference to his lousy pitching in a local championship
ballgame and not from the war.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) A pal brings up the church incident
in France and makes a crude remark about all the crippled kids in
Europe – just as Jim Jr. appears in a wheelchair.

Ending: (Character changes radically) Jim loses a poker game,
turns the table over and grabs a gun.

5)

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – DAY

While sorting through bills Jim gets a phone call. He’s offered a
job interview with a local Las Vegas TV station.

Scene Arc: From Jim agonizing over unpaid bills to possibly
getting his dream job.

Essence: His life could change in a major way.

Conflict: With no journalism experience Jim needs to prove he can
do the job.

Subtext: Jim has strong self doubts.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim gets the job but his lack of experience
and deteriorating character may ruin his chances.

Beginning: Jim sorts through endless bills. No way he can pay
these. (Surprise) Then a phone call – from a local TV station.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Jim’s offered an interview for a reporter’s
position – his chance to fulfill his dream. He’s not sure he can do
the job. But he’s assured if he can win the Medal of Honor he can do
this.

Ending: Jim hangs up. He kisses and dances with Jane then lifts
his son from the wheelchair and does the Mombo! It’s a wonderful
life! (External Dilemma) Except for the fact his car’s in the shop
and there’s a transit strike. He’ll have to walk seven miles in the
blazing Vegas sun for the interview.

6)

INT. JIM’S CAR – DAY

Jim starts the engine. Ted, one of the two soldiers Jim saved
during the French church killings approaches with a Bible under his
arm.

Scene Arc: From Jim about to drive to his new job to apprehension
over Ted’s remarks.

Essence: Jim’s life may soon change – for the worse.

Conflict: Instead of Ted being grateful for Jim saving his life,
Ted threatens to go public with his version of what happened.

Subtext: They meet but it isn’t really “by chance”.

Hope/fear: We hope Ted is just a shell shocked loony. We fear
Ted’s threat will become reality.

Beginning: Jim sees an oil leak under his car. Bad omen. He
starts the car and it puffs smoke. Along comes Ted who calls it a
chance meeting set up by God.

Middle: (Misinterpretation) Ted says Jim will face a reckoning
about what really happened in the church.

Ending: (Betrayal) Jim drives off having wished he never saved Ted
during the war.

7)

INT. TV STATION – DAY

Jim interviews and gets the job. He’ll be the station’s new Crime
Reporter.

Scene Arc: From Jim’s early interview stumbles to him winning the
job.

Essence: Jim’s Medal of Honor lands him his dream job.

Conflict: Having no journalism experience vs. the high pressure
of TV reporting.

Subtext: Jim’s outwardly confident. Deep down he knows it’ll be a
miracle if he lasts.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will be a hit with viewers. We fear he’ll
flop.

Beginning: (Superior position) News Director Casey glosses over
newspaper clippings of Jim’s wartime heroics. Very impressed. The job
is his before he even interviews.

Middle: (More interesting setting) Casey takes Jim to the
basement. There’s a “body” under a bloody sheet. (Uncomfortable
moment) Casey has Jim do an impromptu mock TV crime report.

Ending: (Cliffhanger) After Jim’s butchering of the mock report,
Casey sits Jim down and looks like he changed his mind. But he’s
kidding and offers the job.

8)

INT. KITCHEN – EVENING

Jane’s cooking dinner. Jim and Jim Jr. talk at the table. Jane
begins to cough violently.

Scene Arc: From a normal dinner to a possible family health
crisis.

Essence: It’s not a normal cough. Jane’s very sick.

Conflict: Jim wants her to see a doctor. She refuses.

Subtext: Jane knows more about her cough than she’s letting on.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s okay. It looks serious.

Beginning: (More Interesting setting) Jane coughs as she pulls TV
Dinners from the smoky oven. As she brings them to the table she
collapses.

Middle: (Surprise) The smoke wasn’t too bad but Jane passed out;
Jim finds her pain pills on the floor.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Jim rushes Jane to the hospital. She may
die.

9)

INT. HOSPITAL – EVENING

Jim speaks with her doctor in private. He tells Jim Jane has
terminal cancer, weeks to live.

Scene Arc: From Jim meeting Jane’s doctor and hoping it’s nothing
serious to finding out Jane has weeks to live.

Essence: Jane doesn’t have much time left. Huge lifestyle changes
are on Jim’s horizon.

Conflict: Jim’s love for his wife and his anger that she never
told him she was sick. Just like she didn’t tell him his son
contracted Polio.

Subtext: What else has Jane kept from Jim?

Hope/Fear: We hope that somehow Jane can recover. We fear Jim will
soon be a widower.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) The doctor has to tell Jim – a
local celebrity – that his wife is dying. He says he told her
during a checkup months ago.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Jim paces. After all he’s been through he
may lose his wife – his childhood sweetheart.

Ending: (Intrigue) Jim and his son leave. Why did she keep this a
secret?

10)

INT. LOCAL CASINO – EVENING

Jim’s on a long losing streak at the poker table.

Scene Arc: From Jim welcomed by the casino as a war hero to him
racking up big gambling losses.

Essence: Jim’s background can only go so far.

Conflict: Jim needs to win to pay off Jane’s medical bills but
he’s losing big.

Subtext: The pit boss gets a phone call while watching Jim
gamble. Something’s up.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can control his gambling. Our fear is it
will get worse.

Beginning: (Internal dilemma) Jim losing another poker game. He’s
torn between continuing or quitting.

Middle: (Mystery) The pit boss gets a phone call from the casino
manager while watching Jim gamble. Something’s up.

Ending: (Surprise) The pit boss doesn’t cut off Jim. Instead he
tells him he has an unlimited credit line.

11)

INT. KITCHEN – EVENING

Jim’s cooking dinner for him and Jim Jr. The doctor calls: Jane
died.

Scene Arc: From Jim cooking dinner to learning his wife died.

Essence: It’s the biggest life changing event in his life.

Conflict: High pressure job, gambling and drinking addiction –
Jim must somehow keep pushing forward.

Subtext: Jim’s unemotional when he learns of Jane’s death.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can keep it together. We fear he won’t.

Beginning: (Internal dilemma) Jim cooks dinner and has flashbacks
to wonderful moments spent with Jane. As teens, they kiss and as they
do the phone rings bringing him back to the present. The doctor tells
Jim that Jane just died.

Middle: (Mystery) A gut wrenching moment for most, but Jim’s
unfazed. Is he a sociopath?

Ending: (Major twist) Jim opens a kitchen drawer and discovers a
business card. He calls the number. Ted answers.

12)

EXT. CEMETERY – DAY

Jane’s funeral. Her sobbing parents and a handful of others join
Jim and his son. The boy holds hands with dad as the casket is
lowered. Jane’s mother Patty is so distraught she throws herself on
the casket.

Scene Arc: From the priest’s opening words to Jim’s unemotional
acceptance of Jane’s death.

Essence: Jane was so loved her mother wanted to join her in
death.

Conflict: Patty screams at Jim claiming he never really loved
her.

Subtext: Patty may know something about Jim’s inner personality.

Hope/fear: We hope it’s just a rocky husband-in law issue. We
fear it’s more than that.

Beginning: (Surprise) The service is about to start but Jim isn’t
there. He shows up…very late.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Patty throws herself on her
daughter’s lowering casket. Jim grabs her. (Betrayal) She slaps him
and calls him a gambler and a worthless drunk.

Ending: (Intrigue) Ted, one of the two soldiers saved by Jim in
France who said Jim would pay for his “war crime” sits in the
last row.

13)

EXT. CRIME SCENE – DAY

Jim’s first assignment. A fatal liquor store holdup. The owner is
covered with a bloody sheet. Jim’s unfazed but stumbles through his
stand up. Pure amateur. Oh-oh…

Scene Arc: From Jim’s arrival to the crime scene to him
butchering his report and taking a drink from his whiskey flask.

Essence: Jim isn’t bothered by horrific violence but has limited
on-air skills.

Conflict: Jim’s TV handsome, likable but needs work to be a good
reporter.

Subtext: His war experience could save him.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim won’t get fired. We fear he will.

Beginning: Jim arrives at the crime scene. (Mystery) Al, a
detective and fellow GI remembers him from the war but isn’t a fan.
What does he know?

Middle: (Uncomfortable) Jim needs six takes to get through it.

Ending: (Twist) Jim tags his stand up with a reference to the
assigned detective being a coward who went AWOL during the Battle of
the Bulge. The camera wasn’t really rolling but the detective gets
the message that Jim knows him.

14)

INT. DINER – EVENING

Jim and Jim Jr. eat dinner. Carol drops
change by the cash register. Jim picks up the coins. There’s an
instant connection.

Scene Arc: From a lonely widower having dinner with his son to
meeting a possible new love interest.

Essence: Jim’s chance meeting with Carol – a local Las Vegas
investigative newspaper reporter – could change the direction of
his life.

Conflict: Jim is torn between dating again soon after his wife’s
death or moving on. And Carol’s a competitor on the local news
scene.

Subtext: Carol’s dropping of coins at the cash register seems
intentional.

Hope/fear: We hope they fall in love. We fear she may not be who
she says she is.

Beginning: Carol’s paying her bill at the cash register. She
notices Jim and Jim Jr. in a booth. She drops her change on the
floor. (Internal dilemma) Jim hesitates to help (flashback to a
moment with Jane) but decides to pick up the coins for her.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Jim hands her the coins. He’s about
to go back to his seat when Carol asks if she could join them.

Ending: Jim and Carol hit it off. (Surprise) Carol tells Jim she
too is a journalist – a local investigative newspaper reporter.

15)

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – EVENING

“Sal” calls Jim to collect a large
gambling debt. Sal’s friendly but intimidating. Jim says the casino
okay-ed a large credit line because of his notoriety.

Scene Arc: From Jim enjoying time with his son to him getting a
threatening phone call.

Essence: Jim’s gambling addiction is getting serious.

Conflict: Can he stop? How will he pay his debt?

Subtext: Sal seems to know too much about Jim’s past. Is he
really who he says he is?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can pay up and not get hurt. We fear he’ll
continue.

Beginning: (Suspense) The phone rings. Heavy breathing. Then a man
with a heavy Brooklyn accent introduces himself as “Sal the
friendly collections man” from the casino.

Middle: Sal “explains” how his debt collection plan will play
out. (Mystery) But he starts out with a knock-knock joke –
something Jim often uses with friends.

Ending: (Mystery) Sal ends the conversation with knowledge of a
childhood event only Jim would know.

16)

INT. JIM’S BEDROOM – DAY

Jim sorts through Jane’s documents and finds picture of him and
Jane. He turns it over and sees a phone number. He calls. It’s the
FBI.

Scene Arc: From Jim cleaning up Jane’s things to learning she
was in contact with the FBI.

Essence: Jim’s being watched by the FBI.

Conflict: Will Jim be arrested for war crimes?

Subtext: Jane was working with the FBI behind his back.

Hope/fear: We hope he isn’t under investigation and is the hero
we think he is. We fear he’s not.

Beginning: (Uncomfortable moment) Jim sorts through papers,
pictures in her nightstand. He comes across a picture with a phone
number on the back. Jim Jr. surprises him and asks if mommy ever
coming back.

Middle: (Internal dilemma) After finding Ted’s number hidden in
Jane’s things Jim is hesitant to call the number.

Ending: Jim calls: “Good afternoon, FBI – how can I be of
assistance?”

17)

INT. TV STATION – DAY

Jim learns his News Director boss has
been fired and replaced by Carl, a German/American.

Scene Arc: From Jim starting a new work day to learning he has a
new boss.

Essence: Jim’s working world has become more challenging.

Conflict: After fighting Germans in Europe Jim has deep
resentment working with Carl.

Subtext: Jim doesn’t like Carl.

Hope/fear: We hope they can get along. We fear Jim will get
fired.

Beginning: (Surprise) Jim enters his bosses office to find blonde
hair-blue eyed Carl behind the desk. (Intrigue) The entire room is
decorated in black and red (German WW2 colors).

Middle: Jim and his new boss exchange small talk. Carl’s
authoritative. They’re both suspicious of the other. (Intrigue) Carl
is guarded about his background. What’s he hiding?

Ending: (Mystery) Jim leaves. What happened to his old boss?

18)

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Jim and his son eat dinner and talk baseball. Sal calls. He tells
Jim he has ten days to pay his debt or the next murder story he’ll
cover will involve a family member.

Scene Arc: From dinner with his son to getting an impossible
deadline to meet and a death threat.

Essence: Maximum pressure on Jim already reeling from Jane’s
death and a high pressure job.

Conflict: Can Jim meet Sal’s deadline?

Subtext: It’s an impossible demand with his low salary.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can somehow pay Sal. We fear he can’t.

Beginning: Jim’s on edge. The phone rings and he drops his glass
on the floor. He ignores the ringing and cleans up. It gets louder
and louder. (Internal dilemma) To answer or not… now it’s
deafening. He picks up. It’s Sal again.

Middle: Sal tells Jim another knock-knock joke. (Mystery) This
one’s about one of Jim’s wartime experiences involving an affair he
had.

Ending: (Major twist) Sal gives Jim ten days to pay or the next
murder story he’ll cover will involve a family member.

19)

EXT. GAS STATION – NIGHT

DING! The gas tank’s full. Jim, wearing a fake beard takes payment
from the driver. The driver recognizes him and says he’s doing a
great job on TV.

Scene Arc: From Jim moonlighting in a disguise to being
recognized by a TV viewer.

Essence: Jim must work a lousy second job to pay Sal. Honest guy
trying to survive.

Conflict: A war hero and popular TV Crime Reporter risks
embarrassment working at a gas station.

Subtext: Jim will do whatever it takes to work through it all.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will get a raise at the TV station and
won’t need to moonlight. We fear he won’t.

Beginning: (Surprise) Closed eyes from exhaustion and disgust.
He’s a gas station attendant pumping gas into a prewar junker. Under
the beard we realize it’s Jim.

Middle: The old lady gives Jim a dime tip. (Internal dilemma)
Jim’s appreciative but he knows that moonlighting pumping gas won’t
cut it.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment/Surprise) The woman thanks Jim for
his service – his wartime service. She knew who he was the
whole time.

20)

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – EVENING

Jim Jr., in his wheelchair watches a TV cartoon, giggles. But
Sal’s threatening phone calls have pushed Jim to the brink. Jim
slowly approaches his son from behind, about to strangle him. Just
inches from the boys neck, Jim stops and breaks down.

Scene Arc: From Jim alone at the table to nearly killing his
son.

Essence: Jim’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Conflict: He’s torn between fighting to survive and giving up
hope.

Subtext: Jim has hit rock bottom. But he’s still strong enough to
continue.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim can turn his life around. We fear it will
get worse.

Beginning: Goofy cartoon music. Jim Jr., in his wheelchair, his
back to his dad laughs. (Internal dilemma) Jim’s doubled over on the
couch. Should he do the unthinkable? He stands and slowly approaches
his son.

Middle: (Character changes radically) With fire in his eyes Jim is
about to strangle the boy.

Ending: Junior laughs and tells dad how much he loves him.
(Internal dilemma) Can he really do this? Jim stops inches way and
drops to his knees sobbing.

21)

INT. JIM’S BEDROOM – NIGHT

Jim’s in bed with Carol. He asks her for help investigating Sal.

Scene Arc: From playful canoodling to Carol agreeing to help Jim
expose Sal.

Essence: Jim uses their relationship to find his tormentor.

Conflict: Will she help? He’s a competitor after all. And does
she really love him?

Subtext: Jim fully trusts her but should he?

Hope/fear: We hope Carol will help uncover Sal’s real identity.
We fear she has her own agenda.

Beginning: (Mystery) Jim and Carol are kissing. Jim stops and asks
why he’s never seen her at one of his crime story locations. The
subject is dropped as they get more amorous.

Middle: (Mislead/Reveal) After sex, she tells him she’s been
working on a secret project.

Ending: (Mislead/Reveal) The kiss goodnight at the front door.
Carol says her father is a state senator and she’ll ask him for help
in tracking down Sal.

22)

INT. JIM’S KITCHEN – NIGHT

Sal calls Jim. He starts off with a knock-knock joke and then goes
off the rails demanding payment. His worst call yet. Jim offers his
services as a hitman to pay off his debt. They agree to meet.

Scene Arc: From an even crazier Sal collection call to a Jim
proposing a meeting.

Essence: Jim’s had enough of Sal and his threats.

Conflict: What will happen when they meet?

Subtext: Jim will kill Sal.

Hope/fear: We hope they can work things out. We fear Jim will get
killed.

Beginning: (Surprise) Jim answers Sal’s call but this time he’s
furious.

Middle: (Major twist) After Sal reveals another event in Sal’s
life via a knock-knock joke, Jim takes charge of the conversation.
From hunted to hunter. He offers his services as a hitman in lieu of
cash payment of his debt.

Ending: (Suspense) Sal agrees to the meeting. Jim loads a gun as
he ends the call.

23)

EXT. PARK – NIGHT

Jim waits for Sal but he doesn’t show up.

Scene Arc: From Jim waiting for Sal to frustrated Jim driving
away.

Essence: Sal reneges on his agreed meeting with Jim.

Conflict: Why didn’t Sal show up?

Subtext: Sal didn’t live up to his word. He’s toying with Jim.

Hope/fear: We hope Sal decided the whole thing isn’t worth it. We
fear Sal has bigger plans.

Beginning: Jim sitting on a bench fondles his gun in his pocket.
Where is this Sal guy? (Uncertainty) A shadowy figure approaches.
It’s a patrolman, not Sal.

Middle: (Suspense) The cop wants to know why Jim’s there late at
night. He notices something in Jim’s jacket pocket. He tells Jim to
stand but realizes who he is and lets him go.

Ending: (Intrigue) As the cop leaves he turns and tells Jim to
send his regards to Sal.

24)

EXT. ALLEY – DAY

Jim and his cameraman are at a murder scene. A cop pulls away the
sheet – it’s Jim’s father.

Scene Arc: From Jim talking sports with a detective to
realizing the victim is his father.

Essence: Sal’s threat has become a reality.

Conflict: Jim desperately needs Carol’s help to find Sal.

Subtext: Why isn’t Jim distraught after seeing his dead father?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim finds Sal soon. We fear that he won’t and
Sal will kill again.

Beginning: (Unique setting) A white sheet covers a body sprawled
at home plate at a sandlot baseball field. Jim arrives with his
cameraman and asks the cops to show him the victim. It’s his father.

Middle: (Major twist) After doing his standup, a woman reporter
strikes up a conversation with him. She works for the same local
paper as Carol. Jim says she must know her. The woman asks if he’s
kidding because she’s Carol Newhouse!

Ending: (Mystery) So who is the woman Jim’s been involved with?

25)

EXT. TELEPHONE BOOTH – DAY

Angry and confused, Jim calls Carol’s newspaper. Her boss tells
him Carol’s already at the murder scene where Jim was.

Scene Arc: From Jim calling Carol’s workplace to him being told
the woman he just met is the real Carol Newhouse.

Essence: The woman Jim’s been dating and relying on for help
finding Sal is really someone else.

Conflict: Jim must find out who Carol really is.

Subtext: He will have to deal with her.

Hope/fear: We hope Carol is really in love with Jim. We fear
she’s out to get him.

Beginning: (Suspense) As nervous and upset as we have ever seen
him, Jim frantically dials Carol’s newspaper. But the phone rejects
his change. Others wait on line for him to finish his call. He bangs
and shakes it and it finally works.

Middle: (Mystery) Carol’s boss tells Jim that the woman he just
met is the real Carol and he doesn’t know of any other by that name.
Is Jim being set up?

Ending: (Suspense) Jim jumps into his car and races off.

26)

INT. CAROL’S APARTMENT – DAY

The door opens and there stands a little old lady. Jim asks for
Carol but the woman says she never heard of her.

Scene Arc: From Jim calling on Carol to learning she really
doesn’t live there.

Essence: Proof Carol’s not really Carol.

Conflict: Jim’s ashamed for allowing himself to be fooled like
this.

Subtext: He believes Carol is somehow working with Sal.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim’s wrong, We fear he’s right.

Beginning: (Suspense) As Jim is about to knock on the door he
hears a gunshot inside. He knocks and asks if they’re okay. After a
long pause a little old lady answers. The gunshot was on TV.

Middle: (Intrigue) From the front door Jim sees a whole different
set of furniture. But a picture of Carol remains on the living room
table.

Ending: (Mystery) How is this woman connected to Carol? What is
she hiding?

27)

INT. CASINO – EVENING

Jim gambles at the poker table. It’s as if he’s at there for the
first time.

Scene Arc: From Jim entering the casino to him leaving having
lost even more.

Essence: Jim’s gambling habit is getting worse.

Conflict: Jim is allowed to continue to gamble despite his
previous losses and debt.

Subtext: Why does the casino continue to allow him gamble?

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will come to his sense and stop drinking
and gambling. We fear that he won’t.

Beginning: (Intrigue) The pit boss welcomes Jim to the poker table
with open arms. Strange since he’s raked up huge gambling debt and
Sal may kill him because of it.

Middle: (Surprise) Jim’s suddenly on a winning streak and the
chips pile up. (Mystery) He sees Vince, the pit boss on the phone.
Vince nods: “You got it Sal”. He, hangs up and approaches Jim.
With a pat on the back Vince tells Jim he has unlimited credit.

Ending: (Intrigue) Jim loses a hand and leaves the table a winner
but doesn’t cash in his chips. Why wouldn’t he?

28)

INT. CARL’S OFFICE – DAY

Carl berates Jim for pestering the newspaper assignment editor
over Carol. Jim imagines Carl is a German officer interrogating him.

Scene Arc: From Carl berating Jim to Jim storming out of his
office.

Essence: Jim has a deep hatred for his new boss.

Conflict: Is Jim losing his grip on reality? Will he get violent
with Carl?

Subtext: Jim’s flashback means the war really didn’t end for
him.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim regains his composure and thinks clearly.
We fear he may be beyond that.

Beginning: (Misinterpretation) Carl yells at Jim. Jim sees him as
a German officer during an interrogation.

Middle: (Misinterpretation) Carl says Jim will be suspended for a
week without pay but Jim hears Carl telling him he’ll spend a week
“in the cooler”.

Ending: (Suspense) Jim stands and salutes. This is war!

29)

EXT. LAS VEGAS TIMES – DAY

At the crime scene Jim learns the
murder victim is his boss Carl!

Scene Arc: From Jim’s first day back from suspension to him
realizing the murder victim is his boss.

Essence: Sal won’t stop unless he’s stopped!

Conflict: Jim must think clearly after the deaths of his father
and boss.

Subtext: Sal and/or Carol have framed Jim.

Hope/fear: We hope the cops don’t pin this on Jim. We fear they
will.

Beginning: (More interesting setting) The crime scene: a dumpster
outside Carol’s newspaper building. The murder victim Jim’s boss
Carl. He has a newspaper stuffed into his mouth.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Detective Al is back. Jim wants to
interview him but Al declines and instead questions Jim about his
relationship with Carl.

Ending: (Major twist) Jim leaves as a prime suspect.

30)

INT. JIM’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

The doorbell rings – it’s the cops.

Scene Arc: From Jim’s day off bonding with his son to shooting
himself.

Essence: The walls have finally closed in.

Conflict: Will he live? Why was he arrested? What will happen to
Jr.?

Subtext: Jim’s involved in the two murders.

Hope/fear: We hope he’s not involved. It doesn’t look good.

Beginning: (Intrigue) The wooden Knock-Hockey puck slides through
the hole. Jim Jr. beats his dad! The phone and doorbell ring at the
same time. Jim answers the door.

Middle: (Major twist) The phone rings as Detective Al and company
question Jim about the murders of his father and boss. Jim pleads for
Al to answer the phone and talk to Sal himself.

Ending: (Suspense) Al agrees and answers the phone. It’s a sales
call from a vacuum company. Jim’s arrested. (Major twist) Jim grabs
Al’s gun and shoots himself.

31)

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Jim’s wounded but will live. Friend
Carol Newhouse is by his side along with a few cops. We see Carol’s
ID badge: “FBI”. (I need to find another law enforcement agency
since there were no female FBI agents until the early 70s).

Scene Arc: From Jim awakening from an operation to his formal
arrest.

Essence: Jim’s hallucinations have led to this.

Conflict: Jim can’t believe Carol isn’t who she said she was.

Subtext: Carol’s “betrayal” by is more painful for Jim than
the rest of the reveals.

Hope/fear: We hope Jim will be given consideration after his war
service during his trail. We fear he’ll face life in prison or the
death penalty.

Beginning: (Major twist) Carol appears for the first time since
ghosting Jim. She’s at his bedside and she’s an FBI Agent, not a
newspaper reporter.

Middle: (Major twists) Carol sums it all up: Jim hallucinated
Sal. Sal was a real gangster but died 20 years ago. Jim, delusional
also killed his father and his boss and never really went back to the
casino after his very first visit. Jim was a war hero – the teens
he killed in the French church were in fact German’s posing as French
kids.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Jim’s future – jail time? The death
penalty?

[Marcus Wolf]

Marcus’ Fascinating Scene Outlines

My vision: I get a script made into a movie.

This lesson teaches an excellent (but tedious) method of adding interest to scenes. Breaking everything down into interest techniques is a very good tool for enriching scenes.

ACT 1:

1 INT. JAKE BARNET’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Barnet wakes up in the morning with CHARLOTTE, he comes out of a PTSD nightmare and they speak like a married couple. She collects money from Barnet, revealing she’s a prostitute.

Scene Arc: Barnet and Charlotte, a “married couple” become a customer and prostitute.

Essence: Establish Barnet as someone fooling himself.

Conflict: Barnet thinks he’s in love but Charlotte doesn’t take him seriously.

Subtext: Barnet sets an unrealistic goal that will ultimately fail and deep down he knows it.

Hope/fear: We hope that poor Barnet will find love. His hopes are dashed.

Beginning: (Mislead) Barnet wakes up in the morning with CHARLOTTE and they speak like a married couple.

Middle: (Reveal/Surprise) Charlotte collects money from Barnet, revealing she’s a prostitute.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Barnet asks her to quit her job and marry him. She turns him down flat.

2 INT. SALOON – DAY

Barnet approaches ALF, the proprietor and pimp, and asks to buy out his interest in Charlotte. When Barnet gets too insistent, Alf pulls a shotgun on him. Barnet backs down.

Scene Arc: Barnet goes to plan B concerning Charlotte.

Essence: Still fooling himself, he thinks getting Charlotte out from Alf’s control will make her his.

Conflict: Barnet and Alf butt heads over Charlotte.

Subtext: Barnet can’t really take responsibility for his feelings toward Charlotte.

Hope/fear: We hope that Barnet will come to his senses. Fear he’ll get shot.

Beginning: (Intrigue) Barnet approaches ALF, the proprietor and pimp, and asks to buy out his interest in Charlotte.

Middle: (mislead/reveal) Alf politely tells Barnet to go fuck himself. Barnet insists on a price. Alf quickly grows mean and pulls out a shotgun.

Ending: (Uncomfortable moment) Barnet backs off saying it was only a joke, but we know he was serious.

3 INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY

Near evening. Jake meets with prospective CLIENTS for his building business. They finish dinner which Barnet magnanimously pays for. But they won’t consider his proposal until they see what he’s done. They set out for the construction site.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

4 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Near evening. ISAAC Castle’s carpenters are not very good and he tries to instruct them. Jake and Clients show up. Isaac tells the men to knock off a little early to practice shooting while it’s still light. Barnet’s angry. Isaac complains that some of the lumber has been stolen. Clients leave unimpressed. Isaac takes the youngster BILLY with him to find Sheriff Edmund.

Scene Arc: The men are poor carpenters. Isaac wants them to be good gunmen.

Essence: Establish that Isaac hired unqualified carpenters but good gunmen.

Conflict: Barnet wants his foreman and his men to make a good impression. They don’t.

Subtext: Barnet does not have control of his business. He’s more hung up on getting paid than doing a good job, and the goings-on at his construction site confirm it.

Hope/fear: We hope Barnet can get business.

Beginning: () Jake has dinner with prospective clients. Does well. Offers them whores but they’d rather see the construction site.

Middle: (Uncomfortable moment) Barnet brings them to the site where they see disorder that Barnet didn’t know about. Clients leave after one is nearly killed by a bucket of nails on a pulley.

Ending: () Barnet is mad at Isaac, but Isaac distracts him with complaints of stolen lumber. Isaac explains he’s training the men to guard the site during off hours.

5 EXT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE/JAIL – DAY

Isaac and Billy reach the sheriff’s office having seen the thoroughfare pasted with copies of wanted posters for Lucien RICKEY and Holland Whitaker. Sheriff EDMUND and a DEPUTY stand outside handing out posters to numerous young men crowding around. Isaac argues that hanging so many posters is stupid. The poster of Lucien Rickey especially infuriates him. Edmund ignores him. Isaac makes a speech to the young men about the dangers of hunting this outlaw. Isaac sees a rival builder in the crowd, accuses him of stealing lumber and attacks him. Edmund throws Isaac in jail. Billy runs to find Barnet.

Scene Arc: Isaac goes to complain about theft and ends up in jail himself.

Essence: Isaac gets himself thrown in jail.

Conflict: Isaac and Edmund disagree on the posters. Isaac loses his temper and attacks someone.

Subtext: Isaac wants to be thrown in jail. And he wants to kill Rickey himself.

Hope/fear:

Beginning: () Isaac argues with the sheriff.

Middle: (Character change) Isaac identifies and attacks the lumber thief.

Ending: () Isaac gets thrown in jail.

6 EXT. DESOLATE AREA WITH ROAD – DAY

Lucien RICKEY instructs his gang on how they are going to approach and take the stage scheduled to pass through, shortly. Stage is better protected than Lucien thought and one of his guys gets killed. One stage DRIVER survives, begs for his life. Adelaide and Rickey’s men ague to let him go. Lucien murders him on his knees for working for the railroad, anyway. This greatly surprises Rickey’s men and troubles Adelaide.

Scene Arc: Robbery turns to cold-blooded murder.

Essence: Lucien is a skilled leader, but is a fanatic.

Conflict: Adelaide and the men don’t want him to murder Driver.

Subtext: Lucien is not the man he used to be.

Hope/fear: Will Lucien make this robbery into something evil?

Beginning: (Interesting setting) Robbing the stage.

Middle: (Surprise) Rickey commits cold blooded murder.

Ending: (Character change) Adelaide and the men begin to doubt him.

7 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

Jake’s lumber is on fire and the blaze builds.

Scene Arc: this scene works with the next two scenes.

8 INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – NIGHT

Billy, having located Barnet, brings him to get Isaac out of jail. Edmund lets Isaac out of jail when alarm bells ring. Everyone is needed to help with a fire.

9 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – NIGHT

Barnet, Isaac, Billy and the Sheriff run to the construction site and help to put out the blaze. It is quite destructive. Barnet’s lumber is ruined. His customer is angry. His men, having no work and hence, no pay, walk off the job. Isaac accuses the other builder, but Edmund won’t act on it because there is no evidence, and the other builder and his men help put out the blaze.

Scene Arc: A mysterious fire basically destroys Barnet’s business.

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will they put the fire out in time? What will happen to Barnet’s business?

Beginning: (Superior position) There is a device near the wood that causes fire in a delayed reaction to the lumber.

Middle: (Interesting Setting) Firefighting, bucket brigade, etc.

Ending: (Major Twist) Barnet’s business is destroyed.

10 INT. JAKE BARNET’S HOTEL ROOM – DAY

Barnet, having decided to take a powder, hurriedly packs his bags. Isaac comes in and tries to convince Barnet to stay. Isaac tries to convince Barnet to pay the men for just a few more days – he knows of a source of lumber: an abandoned town. Barnet, short on money, is reluctant to sink his last few dollars into a failed business. Isaac tells him he used to live in the town and is aware of some hidden money there that he has wanted to retrieve. But the trail there is unsafe and he has feared to traverse it alone. He’ll split the money with Barnet and it will save the business.

Scene Arc: Barnet bailing out of his problem to Barnet willing to participate in a potential solution to it.

Essence:

Conflict: Can Isaac convince Barnet not to give up so easily?

Subtext: Isaac is somehow more deeply invested in Barnet’s business than he ought to be.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet Listen to Isaac, who seems to have a great idea?

Beginning: () Barnet decides to run. Barnet resists Isaac’s entreaties to stay for all the right reasons. Reveals a guaranteed source of quality lumber. Not enough.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Isaac reveals the existence of treasure in the abandoned town. Barnet hesitates.

Ending: () Isaac changes Barnet’s mind. Barnet bets his last money on this gamble.

11 EXT./INT. RAIL YARD OFFICE – NIGHT

Rickey and Adelaide break into a railroad office to steal a payment schedule. Adelaide wants to discuss why he murdered the driver. Rickey explains his plans to revive the town with her. She thinks he’s dreaming – the town will never come back without a water supply beyond a few muddy wells. (The river providing the town’s water had been diverted.) Rickey sees that Adelaide is right about the water diversion, but justifies his murdering the driver.

Scene Arc: Rickey setting up more robberies of the railroad, to changing his plan.

Essence: Rickey is doing his robberies for a higher purpose than just stealing money.

Conflict: Adelaide and Rickey disagree on the murder of the driver.

Subtext: Adelaide, still troubled by Rickey’s murder hopes to get him back on track with reviving the town.

Beginning: (Interesting setting) Rickey and Adelaide break into the rail office, where they argue while burglarizing.

Middle: () Rickey argues for the revival of the town – ended by the railroad – as an excuse for criminal behavior.

Ending: () Adelaide convinces him that river diversion, not the railroad, killed the town.

ACT 2:

12 EXT. ON THE TRAIL – DAY

Early Evening. Barnet’s men get drunk and start shooting at bottles. The intellectual Castle is reluctant to engage in this but is cajoled by the men. He can’t hit a single target. Barnet is bothered by the gunfire and asks them to stop. They tease him. They think he’s probably an even worse shot than Castle. Finally, Barnet leaps onto his horse, does riding tricks, and as he passes by the bottles, shoots his pistol and hits all of them. He jumps off his horse onto the main guy making fun of him, tackles the guy, and holds a knife to his throat. Barnet thus gains the respect (and fear) of his men by showing his hidden skills – and temper. Isaac has to pull him off. Barnet reveals his fear of combat left over from the war, where he was a cavalry officer.

Scene Arc: Barnet developing a relationship with his workers, who he had previously neglected.

Essence: Barnet earns the men’s respect and shows leadership, but also certain weakness.

Conflict: Will Barnet earn respect?

Subtext: Barnet has some deep-seated problems buried in his mind that affect his actions.

Hope/fear: We hope Barnet will know something that will impress his men. We fear that he might go too far and kill somebody over losing his temper.

Beginning: (Interesting setting) The men having fun in the wild.

Middle: (Reveal) Skills or lack of skills of each man are revealed. Barnet’s deep wound revealed.

Ending: (Reveal) Barnet’s deep wound explained.

13 EXT. THE WEIR – DAY

Evening. Rickey brings his gang to the weir that diverted water away from his town, intending to blow it up and correct the direction of water flow. His gang is unhappy that there’s no money in this. He pulls his gun on them and threatens. None of them is any good with explosives. Rickey laments that Whitaker is no longer there, him being an explosives genius. Nor do they really understand the weir’s construction and purpose. They fail to destroy it. Rickey vows to try again, but his men are unhappy about it. They ride for “town”.

Scene Arc: Rickey insists on destroying the weir. The attempt fails.

Essence: It is clear that Rickey and his men have different ideas about the goals of the gang.

Conflict: Reviving the town Rickey’s excuse for crime. His men disagree. They are in it for the money. Adelaide struggles with her feelings for Rickey – she wants to support his purpose, but sees that now it has become an excuse.

Subtext: Blowing the up the weir is Rickey’s last hope of reviving the town. When that fails, he becomes an ordinary hardened criminal.

Hope/fear:

Beginning: (Superior Position) Rickey’s gang is angry that they have been brought to a weir rather than to intercept a rich stage coach.

Middle: (Suspense) Rickey explains the bigger picture, but none of the men are buying it. They try to blow the dam.

Ending: (Suspense) The weir remains intact. Rickey’s men are at the point of mutiny.

14 EXT/INT. ABANDONED TOWN SALOON – DAY

Near sunset. Barnet and his men arrive in town to find a fully stocked saloon. This raises Barnet’s suspicions. The men start drinking. Isaac has disappeared. Barnet thinks Isaac is going to grab the hidden money and run. Barnet goes in search of Isaac.

Scene Arc: Arrive in an abandoned town to find evidence of habitation. Barnet realizing that Isaac knows more than he told Barnet and suspects Isaac of cheating him.

Essence: Mystery of this town is introduced.

Conflict: Barnet believes Isaac will cheat him.

Subtext: More is going on in this town than previously suspected.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet find Isaac?

Beginning: (Mystery-Who) Unexpected circumstances in the abandoned town.

Middle: (Intrigue) Barnet is distracted by suspicion of Isaac of cheating him.

Ending: (Interesting setting) Barnet leaves the saloon out the back alley where he learns back entrances to all the former businesses, and other obstacles and unexpected turns.

15 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – NIGHT

Nightfall. Barnet roams through town seeking Isaac. Talks to himself. Puts together that it could have been Isaac who burned the lumber, except that he was in jail during the fire. Finds Isaac in the church.

Scene Arc: this scene works with the next scene.

Beginning: (Interesting setting) Barnet roams the town.

16 INT. CHURCH – NIGHT

Barnet, sees a light, climbs up the steeple where he finds Isaac. Isaac is drunk and drinking. Barnet is angry but avoids direct confrontation with Isaac about the fire. Isaac reveals that he was once mayor of this town. He shows Barnet the bulk of the gang’s loot, hidden (in the steeple) under tarps. Only Isaac and Rickey know this location, not even Rickey’s men. But Isaac isn’t interested in this fortune. Barnet is puzzled as to how Isaac would know where this stash is and can’t understand why he wouldn’t want it, as he claimed he did after the fire. Barnet becomes suspicious.

Scene Arc: Barnet finds Isaac with the treasure and gets some answers.

Essence: Isaac wants Barnet to know where the money is hidden and to understand part of why he is here.

Conflict:

Subtext: Isaac has a mysterious reason for being here.

Hope/fear:

Middle: (Intrigue) Barnet finds Isaac with the hidden treasure. Barnet is surprised and puzzled to find that Isaac doesn’t care about the money.

Ending: (Suspense) Isaac’s attitude raises more questions than answers.

ACT 3:

17 INT. CHURCH – DAY

Barnet and Isaac, having drunk too much and fallen asleep, wake up in the morning. They spot Rickey’s gang in the distance. Rickey is returning to town earlier than Isaac expected. Isaac reveals that he had once been part of Rickey’s gang, but they’d had a falling out. Jake sends Isaac to round up the men to hide in the hotel across the street from the saloon. Jake stays behind briefly. Opens one of the chests and stuffs cash into his pockets. Closes it and re-covers it with tarps. He runs to his horse. He changes his mind. If he leaves his men, they will die.

Scene Arc: Isaac and Barnet discover the outlaws coming to town and try to warn the men. Isaac grabs a considerable sum of cash.

Essence:

Conflict: Leave with a wad of cash, or stay and save the men.

Subtext: Barnet still struggles with PTSD.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet leave or will he do the right thing?

Beginning: (Twist) Isaac was once part of Rickey’s gang.

Middle: (Mislead) Barnet takes a wad of cash. Barnet runs to his horse. Cash into saddlebags. He mounts to ride away.

Ending: (Reveal) Barnet dismounts, then hurries to join the men.

18 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey and his men ride into town and dismount outside of the Saloon. Rickey tells his men that he’s going to store the loot with the rest for safe keeping. They argue that it’s time to start distributing the loot. Some of them want to go their separate ways. Rickey refuses, indicating that the money was to rehabilitate the town, not to enrich them. The men don’t see it that way and threaten to mutiny. Adelaide turns on Rickey and sides with the men. Rickey slaps her and tells her to stay out of it.

Scene Arc: Rickey and his men return to their hideout. Rickey and the men dispute over dividing the spoils.

Essence: Rickey and his men no longer agree on the purpose of the robberies.

Conflict: Rickey and the men fight over the loot and Rickey fights with Adelaide who he believes is betraying him.

Subtext: Adelaide no longer loves Rickey.

Hope/fear:

Beginning: (Suspense) Rickey and his men disagree over the disposition/use of their loot.

Middle: (Betrayal) The gang threatens Rickey with mutiny.

Ending: (Betrayal) Adelaide sides with the gang and Rickey beats her.

19 INT. HOTEL – DAY

Barnet and his men hide. He wants to stay out of trouble. His men recognize Lucien from the wanted posters and want to go after him for the reward money, as Isaac had predicted. Barnet urges patience. Isaac eggs them on. The men pull guns and become restless. Isaac sees Rickey smack Adelaide and becomes agitated.

Scene Arc: The men go from staying out of trouble to looking for trouble.

Essence: Isaac’s reasons for coming to town are being revealed. He has feelings for Adelaide.

Conflict: Barnet wants to stay out of trouble. The men don’t and Isaac in particular is likely to disobey Barnet.

Subtext: Barnet’s PTSD, Isaac’s ulterior motive.

Hope/fear: Will they get into a fight they can’t win?

Beginning: (Superior position) Hiding from bad guys. They don’t know about unrest in the gang.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Wanting to confront bad guys – for the wrong reasons (reward money).

Ending: (Reveal) Barnet learns Isaac’s real reason for coming here – his feelings for Adelaide.

20 INT. SALOON – DAY

Rickey’s men go into the Saloon to avoid the fight he’s having with Adelaide. They see the mess that Barnet’s men left. They come out to tell Rickey.

Scene Arc: This scene works with the next scene.

21 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey and Adelaide scream at each other. Rickey pulls a knife.

Scene Arc: An argument escalates to potential violence.

Essence: Adelaide means less to Rickey than she thought she did.

Conflict: Adelaide and Rickey’s disagreement escalates drastically.

Subtext: Their relationship is in jeopardy.

Hope/fear: Will Rickey control his temper? We fear he will stab Adelaide.

Beginning: (Twist) Somebody’s been eating my porridge.

Middle: (Betrayal) Adelaide vs. Rickey escalates to potential violence.

Ending: (Reveal) Adelaide means less to Rickey than she thought she did.

22 INT. HOTEL – DAY

No longer able to control his temper, Isaac runs out to the thoroughfare against Barnet’s wishes.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

Conflict: Barnet wants to keep hidden and Isaac is blowing it.

23 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Isaac confronts Rickey in the thoroughfare. Rickey reveals that Isaac Castle is really the outlaw Holland Whitaker. Isaac shoots at Rickey but misses and hits Adelaide, wounding her badly.

Rickey shoots Whitaker and tries to help Adelaide. But Adelaide crawls to Isaac, rejecting Rickey, a selfish, power-hungry crook. Adelaide tells Isaac she never should have left him, then dies.

Scene Arc: Isaac goes from hiding to confrontation with Rickey.

Essence: Isaac loves Adelaide and is his reason for being here.

Conflict: Isaac begins his fight with Rickey.

Subtext: Everything Isaac has done up to this point has led to this confrontation.

Hope/fear: Isaac can win back Adelaide. Will she die? Will Rickey kill him?

Beginning: (Character changes/Intrigue) Barnet loses control of Isaac who’s now on his own. We learn his true identity and that he fooled everyone into supporting him in a desperate situation.

Middle: (Twist) Isaac wants to win back Adelaide but accidentally shoots her.

Ending: (Uncertainty) Adelaide comes back to Isaac. Can they be happy? No, she dies.

24 INT. HOTEL – DAY

Despite Barnet warning his men to stay quiet, they see Isaac get shot and start shooting. Rickey’s men, surprised, retreat into the Saloon. Barnet struggles with whether to run or overcome his fear of battle and organize his men. They start running out into the thoroughfare and getting shot. Barnet fears for his men come true. He finally jumps in, overcoming his trauma.

Scene Arc: Barnet the coward becomes Barnet the leader.

Essence: Barnet’s moment of epiphany.

Conflict: The gunfight.

Subtext: Barnet is now committed to his men and ultimately, his business.

Hope/fear: Will Barnet overcome his fear and become a hero?

Beginning: () Barnet loses control of his men, who start a gunfight.

Middle: (Suspense) Barnet confronts his inner demons.

Ending: (Reveal) Seeing his men getting killed spurs Barnet to action.

ACT 4:

25 INT. HOTEL – DAY

Barnet quickly devises a plan and reorganizes his men.

Scene Arc: This scene works with the next.

26 EXT. ALLEYWAY BEHIND THE SALOON – DAY

Barnet takes two men and sneaks around the back of the saloon, flanking Rickey and his men. The rest of Barnet’s men distract Rickey’s men by shooting from the hotel. Rickey tries to rally his men, but they ignore him and run into the town thoroughfare to escape. Rickey kills the men with Barnet.

Scene Arc: Barnet takes charge then changes the tide of the battle.

Essence: Barnet shows his skills as a leader.

Conflict: Barnet and his men undertake a dangerous mission which could go wrong.

Subtext: Rickey has lost the confidence of his men.

Hope/fear: Can Barnet’s men defeat the outlaws.

Beginning: () Barnet takes charge and enacts a plan.

Middle: (Suspense) Barnet and two men undertake a dangerous mission.

Ending: () Surprise attack in the Saloon results in Barnet’s men getting killed and Rickey’s men going into chaos.

27 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

Rickey’s men get mowed down by Barnet’s men from the hotel.

Scene Arc: This scene supports the previous scene.

28 EXT. ALLEYWAY BEHIND THE SALOON – DAY

Rickey escapes into the alleyway. Barnet chases Rickey. They fight. Barnet barely wins, using all his skills. Barnet captures Rickey.

Scene Arc: Rickey escapes, Barnet catches him.

Essence: Climax. The ultimate showdown of the two leaders.

Conflict: Barnet versus Rickey in one-on-one fight.

Subtext: Good versus evil.

Hope/fear: It looks like Rickey has the advantage. Will he kill Barnet?

Beginning: (Suspense) Rickey escapes.

Middle: (Suspense) Barnet chases and fights Rickey who nearly kills him.

Ending: (Intrigue) Barnet captures Rickey.

29 EXT. TOWN THOROUGHFARE – DAY

What’s left of Rickey’s men have surrendered and are on their knees. When they see Rickey, they call for his death for cheating them and leading them to ruin. Barnet’s men want to split the reward. Rickey is wanted dead or alive. Despite Barnet’s arguments, the men bring Rickey to the town gallows – a permanent structure in this town, and hang him. Barnet doesn’t let them murder the men on their knees.

Barnet and his men feel like Isaac has tricked them. Isaac cries over Adelaide. Barnet realizes that Isaac had been preparing them for this fight all along, even himself. The payoff for the men will be the reward money for Rickey, which Barnet will give to the men as a bonus, and the lumber for Barnet realizes that his business is his redemption. Building instead of killing.

No one knows where the treasure is and Isaac and Barnet aren’t revealing that they do. They make a deal with the men that whoever stays on as builders will come to this town to continue dismantling it. Including Rickey’s men. Someday the treasure will be uncovered and those who stay on will split it.

Scene Arc:

Essence:

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear:

Beginning: () Decision on what to do with Rickey.

Middle: (Uncertainty) Decision what to do with Isaac.

Ending: ()

30 EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY

Barnet and his men arrive back to the site with a massive load of new lumber. They get back to work. Barnet and Billy take two dead bodies to the Sheriff’s office.

Scene Arc: Works with the next scene.

31 INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY

They turn over Rickey and another man they claim is Holland Whitaker. Sheriff gives them the reward money. Barnet instructs Isaac to divvy it up among the men. The real Whitaker is now Isaac Castle, builder.

Scene Arc: Barnet arrives back in town with renewed purpose. He makes sure that Isaac gets a second chance.

Essence: Things will work out for Barnet and his crew as well as Isaac.

Conflict:

Subtext:

Hope/fear: Will the Sheriff believe the dead guy is Holland Whitaker?

Beginning:

Middle:

Ending: () Isaac gets a second chance.

32 INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY

The town hero now, Barnet squares everything with his customer. He runs into Charlotte on the way out. Charlotte now sees him as serious. But he knows that she will never leave Alf’s employ. He realizes that what attracted him to her was her unavailability – he would never have had to take responsibility for a relationship.

Barnet meets the new school teacher, an attractive lady, who is trying to get funding for a new schoolhouse. Barnet asks her to join him for dinner – he knows someone who could build her school. She says yes.

Scene Arc: Barnet goes from the woman who’s not right for him to the one who is.

Essence: Barnet realizes his insecurities and unrealistic expectations.

Conflict: Barnet still thinks he wants Charlotte.

Subtext: Barnet’s realistic behavior shows that he is healing.

Hope/fear: We hope that Barnet has finally found the right woman.

Beginning: Realizes Charlotte is not right for him.

Middle: Meets school teacher, they have a moment.

Ending: () Barnet finds potential true love and can put his business to good work in the community.

[Paul Dees]

Paul Dees’ Scene Requirements

My Vision: I am a writer/director/producer that writes and makes films of all kinds, and I am recognized by the industry as both a highly successful filmmaker and as a person that’s easy to work with.

What I learned from doing this assignment is how to make every scene in a screenplay engaging for an audience.

1. EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

SPECIAL AGENT RICK O’BRIEN (40’s) and his partner SPECIAL AGENT DAVID WHITMAN (40’s) are across the street from the house. Rick talks on a mobile phone to a kidnapper who’s in the house with a hostage.

Essence: Rick tries to negotiate with the kidnapper.

Conflict: Will the kidnapper surrender?

Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of surrendering.

Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper will surrender. We’re afraid he’ll kill his hostage and escape.

2. INT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

The KIDNAPPER (30’s) wearing a mask, marches his HOSTAGE (30’s) toward the front door. A gun is pointed at her head.

Essence: The kidnapper wants to escape.

Conflict: The hostage wants to be set free.

Subtext: The kidnapper has no intention of setting her free.

Hope/Fear: We hope the hostage will be rescued. We fear she’ll be killed.

3. EXT. A HOUSE – NIGHT

The kidnapper and his hostage emerge from the house. He marches the hostage over to a car. He then shoots her. Rick and Agent Whitman try to apprehend the kidnapper. The kidnapper shoots Agent Whitman and races away. Agent Whitman dies in Rick’s arms.

Essence: The kidnapper escapes

Conflict: The FBI agents want to rescue to the hostage, and the kidnapper wants to kill her.

Subtext: Rick is powerless to stop the kidnapper.

Hope/Fear: We hope the kidnapper is captured. We fear he’ll kill the hostage and escape.

4. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – SIX MONTHS LATER – DAY

A WOMAN (30’) gets out of her car. She has a blank expression and carries a handbag. She walks purposefully, swiftly and enters the building.

Essence: The woman is arriving for something important.

Conflict: She seems to be late for her engagement.

Subtext: Her blank expression indicate she’s under someone’s control.

Hope/Fear: We hope she’s just late for something. We fear she’s got a darker purpose.

5. INT. THE BUILDING – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

The woman exits the elevator. She turns down the hall and enters a utility closet.

Essence: The woman has something to do in the utility closet.

Conflict: She is in an awful hurry to do whatever she’s trying to do.

Subtext: She seems to be in a trance, like she’s being controlled by someone.

Hope/ Fear: We hope she just forgot to do her makeup. We fear she’s up to no good.

6. INT. THE UTILITY CLOSET – DAY

The woman enters, takes out a bomb, and hides it behind some cleaning supplies. The bomb’s timer has five minutes remaining.

Essence: The woman is there to set off a bomb.

Conflict: There are innocent people who will be killed.

Subtext: No one knows the bomb is there.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will find the bomb in time. We fear it will go off.

7. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The woman exits the building. A massive explosion rocks the building at the 25^th floor. The woman’s face shimmers. A mask falls off her face. She looks different than she did when she was wearing the mask. She looks around, bewildered. She looks up at the carnage from the explosion and runs off.

Essence: The woman bombed the building against her will.

Conflict: The bomb went off, and people died.

Subtext: Who is the person behind the bombing.

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught quickly. We fear it will be the start of a series of bombings.

8. EXT. A HOUSE IN AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY

Essence: This is showing where a character lives.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: Who lives there?

Hope/Fear: N/A

9. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY

Rick plays his guitar, lost in thought.

Essence: This is what Rick is up to these days.

Conflict: Rick battles his inner demons.

Subtext: Rick has given up on life.

Hope/Fear: We hope he hasn’t given up on life. We fear he has.

10. INT. KITCHEN – DAY

STEPHANIE O’BRIEN (40’s) Rick’s wife, fixes breakfast. SAMMY (pre-teen) and JENNIFER (pre-teen) their two kids, argue at the table, but she’s oblivious to it. The doorbell rings.

Essence: Stephanie goes through the motions of her morning routine.

Conflict: She’s fighting against the hurt from her husband being absent at home.

Subtext: Their marriage is on the rocks.

Hope/Fear: We hope she and Rick are just going through a phase. We fear their marriage is over.

11. INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY

Stephanie opens the door, and SPECIAL AGENT RYAN STEVENS (50’s) stands there. He ask if he can come in and talk to Rick.

Essence Rick’s boss want to talk to him.

Conflict: Rick likely doesn’t want to talk to him.

Subtext: It’s not a good time for Rick’s boss to be there.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s boos has a new assignment for him. We fear Rick is going to be fired.

12. INT. BEDROOM – DAY

Rick’s boss says he wants him to check out a crime scene, as he’s the resident expert on bombings. Rick reluctantly agrees.

Essence: Rick’s expertise is needed.

Conflict: He doesn’t feel like doing anything.

Subtext: Rick is finished with being an FBI agent.

Hope/Fear: We hope this will help Rick snap out of it. We fear it will only add to his depression.

13. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Rick arrives at the scene of the bombing. He’s introduced to his new partner, Sean Gray.

14. INT. A SKYSCRAPER – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

Rick and Sean investigate the blast site. Three quarters of the floor is gone, replaced with a gaping chasm with the view of the city below. Rick struggles with being up there, as he hates heights.

Essence: Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the bombing.

Conflict: Rick hates heights, but he has to do his job.

Subtext: This is the work of a criminal mastermind.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will find clues to help them catch the bomber. We fear it won’t help them at all.

15. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

As Rick and Sean wrap things up, Sean notices a mask lying on the ground and takes it with him.

Essence: Rick and Sean complete their investigation.

Conflict: There’s a mask in the parking lot.

Subtext: Who designed the mask, and what’s his end game?

Hope/Fear: We hope the mask will be another clue to help find the bomber. We fear it’ll be no help at all.

16. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

A MAN (60’s) walks swiftly toward the entrance of the building. He has a blank look on his face and carries a briefcase.

Essence: A man is on his way to the building.

Conflict: He’s late for something.

Subtext: It looks like he’s being controlled by someone.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will be wise to him and ask what he’s doing. We fear he’s going to set off another bomb.

17. INT. A BATHROOM – DAY

The man sets the briefcase on the counter and walks out.

Essence: The man plants the bomb.

Conflict: People are going to die.

Subtext: No one knows that the briefcase has a bomb in it.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

18. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The man exits the building.

Essence: The man has successfully planted the bomb.

Conflict: People are in mortal danger.

Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

19. INT. A BATHROOM – DAY

Men wash their hands at the sink. The unattended briefcase sits there at the counter. The bomb explodes.

Essence: The bomb is sitting there, waiting to go off.

Conflict: People are in mortal danger.

Subtext: People don’t know they’re in mortal danger.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will figure out there’s a bomb before it goes off. We fear the bomb will go off.

20. EXT. PARKING LOT OF A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The man’s face shimmers, and a mask falls off his face, revealing a different looking person. The man looks up at the devastation above and runs off.

Essence: The man was being controlled by someone else.

Conflict: Innocent people have been killed.

Subtext: Who’s behind all this?

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught. We fear there will be more attacks.

21. INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Rick enters, She and Rick argue about when he’s going to join the family again and stop distancing himself from them. The doorbell rings.

Essence: Rick and Stephanie argue about how he’s handling his depression.

Conflict: Stephanie wants Rick to be more involved in their family’s lives, Rick wants to keep them at arm’s length.

Subtext: Rick’s demons continue to haunt him.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Stephanie’s family stays intact. We fear they won’t.

22. INT. FRONT ROOM – DAY

Stephanie answers the door. It’s Special Agent Stevens again. He tells Rick he’s been reactivated as now they’re dealing with a serial bomber.

Essence: Rick is dragged back into service.

Conflict: It’s the last thing he wants to do.

Subtext: Rick doesn’t want to fail again.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber. We fear he won’t.

23. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick arrives at the office and catches up on the details of the case. Special Agent Sean Gray shows Rick how the mask they found at the scene of the bombing is designed to control the mind of the person who wears it. He puts it on to demonstrate. His face changes and he starts walking out of the room. It takes Rick and two additional agents to remove it.

Essence: The bomber is using masks to control innocent people in order to plant the bombs.

Conflict: How to tell who’s wearing a mask and who isn’t?

Subtext: A whole city is walking around not knowing that any one of them could be an unwilling accomplice for the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope the bomber will be caught sooner than later. We fear it will be near impossible to find him.

24. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick looks through the FBI database and finds a recently paroled convict named Jonathan Rogers that has the skill set needed to pull off the bombings, as well as a past record of bombing buildings for insurance fraud.

Essence: Rick and Sean have a possible suspect.

Conflict: Their suspect isn’t going to appreciate being visited by the FBI.

Subtext: Jonathan could be the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan turns out to be the bomber. We fear he won’t be.

25. EXT. JONATHAN ROGERS’ APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door. He reluctantly lets them in.

Essence: Rick and Sean are there to question a suspect.

Conflict: Jonathan isn’t real keen to talk to them.

Subtext: What is Jonathan hiding?

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.

26. INT. JONATHAN ROGER’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean question Jonathan on his whereabouts on the days of the bombings. He says he wasn’t anywhere near either site on the days in question.

Essence: Rick and Sean are trying to get to the bottom of the case.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t seem to be their man.

Subtext: Jonathan could still be the bomber, and Rick and Sean just haven’t proved it yet.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear that Rick and Sean won’t be able to prove it.

27. INT. A DIFFERENT SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Rick and Sean investigate the scene of the second bombing. They find the same residue they found at the first site, and another mask in the parking lot of the building. Rick remembers that Jonathan used the same materials for his bombs.

Essence: Rick and Jonathan gather more evidence.

Conflict: The evidence points to Jonathan even though he maintains his innocence.

Subtext: Is Jonathan really the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope this new evidence will give Rick and Sean what they need to prove Jonathan is the bomber, We fear they’re going after the wrong guy.

28. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick and Sean access the Post Office records and find that Jonathan sent two packages to two different people on the very days the bombings occurred.

Essence: Rick and Jonathan continue to build their case against Jonathan.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: The bomber might not be Jonathan.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean are getting closer to apprehending Jonathan. We fear Jonathan could be the wrong guy.

29. EXT. TWO DIFFERENT HOUSES – DAY

Rick and Sean visit with both of the recipients on Jonathan’s packages, and they are in fact the same two people that unwittingly planted the bombs in the building that were attacked.

Essence: Rick and Sean are connecting the dots in order apprehend Jonathan for the bombings.

Conflict: Two innocent people were forced to carry out an atrocious crime against their will.

Subtext: Who really is the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope that Rick and Sean have all the ducks in a row so they can bring Jonathan to justice. We fear they’re after the wrong guy.

30. EXT. JONTHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean knock on Jonathan’s door and show him their search warrant. Jonathan lets them in.

Essence: Rick and Sean are ready to apprehend Jonathan.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want them to come in.

Subtext: There’s a very good chance that Jonathan is the bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Jonathan is the bomber. We fear he’s not.

31. INT. JONATHAN ROGERS’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean return to Jonathan’s apartment with a warrant. They find explosive materials and electronics. Jonathan runs out the back door.

Essence: Rick and Sean have found their man.

Conflict: Jonathan doesn’t want to get caught and runs.

Subtext: There’s a moment when we’re not sure if Jonathan is the bomber or not.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean will catch Jonathan. We fear he’ll get away.

32. EXT. THE ALLEY BEHIND JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY

Rick and Sean give chase. At a certain point, Jonathan comes out from around a corner and aims a gun at Sean. Rick draws his pistol and shoots Jonathan just in time, saving Sean’s life.

Essence: Jonathan is the bomber.

Conflict: Rick and Sean want to arrest Jonathan, and he doesn’t want to go to jail.

Subtext: What if they’re going after the wrong guy?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean finally caught the bomber. We fear he’s still on the loose.

33. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – DAY

Rick comes home and opens up to Stephanie for the first time in a long while. He tells her he wants things to be different between them and with the kids. She accepts his offer gratefully. He then asks if they can have Sean over for dinner, as he’s single and usually eats frozen dinners. She agrees to have him over.

Essence: Rick is trying to make amends to his wife and their kids.

Conflict: Stephanie is a bit guarded when Rick first talks to her.

Subtext: Will Rick keep up his newly determined devotion to his family?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick is a changed man. We fear it won’t last.

34. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM NIGHT

Sean arrives for dinner with a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in tow.

Essence: Rick and Sean are getting to be good friends as well as being partners.

Conflict: N/A

Subtext: We had no idea Sean could make cookies. What else don’t we know about him?

Hope/Fear: We hope that reaching out to Sean will help Rick and Stephanie’s marriage and his relationship with his kids. We fear that it’ll make things more stressful for them.

35. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DINING ROOM – NIGHT

During dinner, Sean reveals his parents were killed in 9/11, which is why he became an FBI agent.

Essence: Sean is bonding with Rick and his family.

Conflict: It makes dinner a slightly tense affair learning about Sean’s parents.

Subtext: What else don’t we know about Sean? Could he be dangerous?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will continue to bond with Rick and his family. We fear it may not last if Sean is hiding much darker things about himself.

36. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

A GIRL (teens) rushes into the building with a handbag slung over her shoulder. There’s a blank look on her face.

Essence: A girl heads into a building.

Conflict: She’s in a hurry.

Subtext: We’ve seen this before. Did Rick and Sean catch the bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope this isn’t another bomb about to go off. We fear that’s exactly what it is.

37. INT. BREAK ROOM – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

The girl leaves her handbag on one of the tables and leaves. No one notices her.

Essence: The girl plants the bomb.

Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.

38. EXT. A PARKING LOT OF A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

The girl exits the building.

Essence: The girl planted the bomb without it being discovered.

Conflict: A bunch of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one know they’re about to die.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone will discover the bomb before it’s too late. We fear the bomb will go off.

39. INT. THE HALLWAY NEAR THE BREAK ROOM – 25^th FLOOR – DAY

One second everything is business as usual. Then there’s a blinding flash, and fire engulfs the hallway.

Essence: The bomber has struck again.

Conflict: Innocent people have died.

Subtext: Who is behind this latest attack?

Hope/Fear: We hope the real bomber will be caught soon. We fear his reign of terror will continue.

40. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick and Sean and a couple of other agents socialize. Agent Stevens, their boss, bursts into the room, and has them turn on the TV, which shows the aftermath of the latest bombing. Rick and Sean get a package addressed to them.

They find a flash drive inside, and it has a video message from the real bomber, telling them he set-up Jonathan just for fun, and that he already had five more people plant bombs just today, which will go off may minute. Rick, Sean and all of the other agents get on the phone and start alerting the heads of local law enforcement.

Essence: Rick and Sean caught the wrong man.

Conflict: The real bomber is still at large.

Subtext: Who is the real bomber?

Hope/Fear: We hope law enforcement can find the bombs before they go off. We fear they won’t find them in time.

41. EXT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS THROUGHOUT THE CITY – DAY

Montage of five different buildings and people from all walks of life with blank looks walking out the front entrance. Suddenly all five bombs go off.

Essence: The bomber strikes with a vengeance.

Conflict: Buildings are hit all over the city, and a whole bunch of people have died.

Subtext: Who is the real bomber.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick and Sean and the rest of the city’s law enforcement can finally catch the bomber. We fear there will be no end to the attacks.

42. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY

Rick turns in his badge.

Essence: Rick is defeated.

Conflict: Rick wants to resign. Agent Stevens tries to get him to reconsider.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will reconsider. We fear it’s too late.

43. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – FRONT ROOM – NIGHT

Rick shuffles in. He tells Stephanie about the latest wave of attacks, and how he resigned from the bureau. She tells him he needs to see it through and find the bomber or he’ll never be at peace.

Essence: Rick gives up.

Conflict: Rick wants to quit. His wife tells him he can’t.

Subtext: There’s a bomber still at large.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick won’t give up. We fear he already has.

44. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – AGENT STEVEN’S OFFICE – DAY

Rick asks Agent Stevens for his badge back. Agent Stevens gives it to him and says he hadn’t even processed the paperwork. Rick tells Agent Stevens he thinks the bomber might be one of their own and wants to run background checks on everyone in the office, as well as all local law enforcement. Agent Stevens gives him the go ahead.

Essence: Rick’s back.

Conflict: Rick’s looking for the bomber in their own ranks.

Subtext: It could very be someone in law enforcement.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick’s right and he finds the bomber. We hope he’s wrong and that it’s not one of their agents.

45. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick starts running background checks on all of the people working in the office, along with running their fingerprints from coffee cups, soda cans etc. He stops dead in his tracks as he look at one result in particular. He pulls Sean aside and says he needs to talk with him.

Essence: Rick has found the bomber.

Conflict: It’s someone that works for the FBI.

Subtext: The bomber doesn’t know Rick knows who he is.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch the bomber there at the field office. We fear it’s Sean.

46. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick tells Sean he ran his fingerprints, and a 56 year-old agent named Robert Davis pulled up. Sean then tells him how after his parents died, he lived with an Aunt and Uncle that didn’t have much time for him, and he wasn’t popular in school. So he spent all his time reading and discovered he had a talent for mathematics and engineering. He started developing the masks he sent to his “helpers” who planted all the bombs when he was still in high school. He wanted to leave home as soon as he graduated, so he enlisted in the military and worked in demolition. After he was discharged, Sean started hatching a plan on how to help the FBI get some real world practice with preventing terrorist attacks, since they botched 9/11 and his parents died along with so many others. So once he perfected the masks, he hacked into the FBI’s mainframe and kept checking when there was a vacancy in one of the offices. When one came up at their office, he stole Agent Davis’s identity, and transferred in. Rick asks Sean how he can live with killing so many people. Sean says it’s worth it if many more people get saved in the long run, as the FBI would eventually figure out how to stop the attacks. And he has another group of helpers ready to plant more bombs as soon as they get the go ahead. Rick tells Sean he can make it easy on himself and come quietly, or they can do it the hard way. Sean agrees to come quietly. Just as Rick goes to snap on the cuffs, Sean overpowers him and pins him to the floor. He tells Rick he won’t kill him since he saved his life, but his wife won’t be so lucky. Sean knocks Rick unconscious and leaves.

Essence: Sean is the bomber

Conflict: Rick tries arrest Sean. Sean escapes.

Subtext: When will the next wave of bombers strike?

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will come to in time and stop Sean. We fear Sean will escape and successfully carry out a whole new wave of bombings.

47. INT. FBI OFFICE – DAY

Sean enters and heads for the door. Someone asks him if he’s seen Rick and replied he hasn’t.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

48. INT. FBI OFFICE – PARKING GARAGE – DAY

Sean gets in his car and makes his way to the exit.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

49. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick comes to. He calls the security guard at the entrance to the parking lot.

Essence: Sean is trying to flee.

Conflict: If he makes it out of the building, a new wave of bombings could occur.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

50. EXT. FBI OFFICE – GUARD BOOTH – DAY

The SECURITY GUARD (20’s) picks up the phone just as Sean is exits the building.

Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.

Conflict: Rick was trying to stop him. Sean got away.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

51. INT/EXT. SEAN’S CAR – DAY

Sean takes out his phone and pulls up an app. His scrolls through it and pushes a number of buttons.

Essence: Sean is now free to carry out his latest set of attacks.

Conflict: Sean is about to start a whole new wave of bombings.

Subtext: Who will carry out the bombings and where?

Hope/Fear: We hope Sean will get caught. We fear he won’t.

52. INT. VARIOUS HOMES – DAY

People get into their cars carrying backpacks, handbags, etc., each of which has a bomb in to with a times counting down.

Essence: A new wave of bombings is about to start.

Conflict: Lots more people could die.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope the attacks will be stopped. We fear they won’t.

53. EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Sean pulls up carrying a package. He sets it down next to the front door and rings the bell. Stephanie answers, and Sean says he came by to pick up the plate he brought the cookies with the other night at dinner. Stephanie goes to get it and returns. Sean points out the “package” on the porch, and Stephanie takes it. Sean leaves.

Essence: Sean is about to make Stephanie wife one of his “helpers.”

Conflict: Stephanie’s actions are going to kill innocent people.

Subtext: Stephanie has no idea what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to the house in time. We fear he won’t.

54. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY

Stephanie opens the package and pulls out the mask. She hold it up, and suddenly a light shines in her eyes, and a voice tells her to put it on. She does, and her face changes into someone else. The voice tells her to take out the other package and open it. It’s a bomb with a timer counting down. The voice tells Stephanie to get in her car and drive downtown.

Essence: Stephanie is now one of Sean’s helpers.

Conflict: She will unknowingly kill innocent people.

Subtext: She has no idea what’s happening, as she’s being controlled against her will.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Stephanie before she plants the bomb. We fear he won’t.

55. INT. FBI OFFICE – SUPPLY ROOM – DAY

Rick comes to and tells all of the agents that Sean is the bomber and is about to set off a whole new wave of attacks. They all head out.

Essence: Rick is going to try and rescue his wife, and the rest of the FBI are on the hunt for Sean.

Conflict: They’re trying to stop him before he kills a bunch more people.

Subtext: Sean is using people who have no idea what’s going on to carry out his plans.

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean, and that Rick will rescue his wife in time. We fear they won’t.

56. EXT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Rick pulls up and runs to the front door.

Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife

Conflict: Stephanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.

Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.

57. INT. RICK’S HOUSE – DAY

Rick bursts into the house. Stephanie is nowhere to be found.

Essence: Rick is trying to save his wife

Conflict: Stephanie will kill a bunch of people if he doesn’t.

Subtext: Stephanie is an innocent pawn.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will rescue Stephanie. We fear he won’t.

58. INT./EXT. VARIOUS CARS – DAY

A number of people all with blank expressions and with a bomb in tow drive to their respective destinations where they’ll plant a bomb.

Essence: Sean is employing a new group of helpers to carry out his plans.

Conflict: People will die in droves if everyone successfully plants their bombs.

Subtext: No one them realize what they’re doing.

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will find a way to stop them all in time. We fear they won’t.

59. INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY

Two agents spot Sean driving past them. They call Rick and tell him they’ve found him and go to lights and sirens.

Essence: The FBI is hot on Sean’s tail.

Conflict: They’re trying to catch Sean, and he’s trying to escape.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope the FBI will catch Sean in time. We fear they won’t.

60. INT./EXT. STEPHANIE’S CAR – DAY

Stephanie drives toward downtown. She looks like someone else, as the mask has changed her appearance and her eyes are blank.

Essence: Stephanie is on her way to carry out Sean’s plans.

Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she successfully plants the bomb.

Subtext: Stephanie had no idea what’s happening.

Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped before it’s too late. We fear she won’t be.

61. INT./EXT. AN FBI AGENT’S CAR – DAY

The agents that spotted Sean continue to give chase, and eventually run him off the road at a massive office building that’s under construction. Sean bursts out of his car, guns blazing. The agents return fire, but Sean shoots them both and runs toward the building. Rick pulls up and checks on the agents. They’re wounded but they’ll survive. Rick calls for an ambulance and then runs after Sean.

Essence: Sean is now on foot.

Conflict: He still controls the bombs’ timers with his phone.

Subtext: A number of innocent people are about to commit an atrocious crime without evening knowing what they’re doing.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will catch Sean in time before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t.

62. EXT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Stephanie approaches the building and enters.

Essence: Stephanie is about to plant the her bomb.

Conflict: She’ll kill a bunch of people if she’s successful.

Subtext: She’s an innocent pawn in it all.

Hope/Fear: We hope someone can stop her in time. We fear no one will.

63. INT. A BUILDING UNDER CONSTRUCTION – DAY

Rick runs after Sean as he enters a construction elevator. Sean taunts him about his fear of heights, and then starts going up. Rick looks around for another elevator and realizes there isn’t one. He runs over to the elevator and jumps up, catching a bar just in time as the elevator ascends.

Essence: Rick is trying to stop Sean before the bombs go off.

Conflict: Rick wants to stop Sean, and Sean wants his plan to succeed.

64. INT. A SKYSCRAPER – DAY

Stephanie gets on an elevator.

Essence: Stephanie is on her way to plant the bomb.

Conflict: People will die if she pulls it off.

Subtext: No one in the building suspects what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Stephanie will be stopped somehow. We fear she won’t be.

65. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – THE ROOF – DAY

The elevator continues to ascend. Sean looks down and sees Rick hanging on for dear life. He smiles and asks how he’s enjoying the ride. He then starts stomping on Rick’s fingers in an effort to make in him fall.

Essence: Sean keeps Rick at bay while the timers on the bombs continue to count down.

Conflict: Rick is terrified of heights, but he needs to get to Sean before the bombs go off.

Subtext: A life and death struggle is playing out, and no one but Rick and Sean know about it.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick will get to Sean before time runs out. We fear that he won’t.

66. INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY

Each person being controlled by Sean plants their bomb at the building they’ve been instructed to go to. Stephanie does as well in a supply closet. But as she goes to leave, the voice in her mask tells her to remain. She takes out her phone, and scrolls through her Facebook app. All of the others leave their respective buildings and head to the front entrance.

Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.

Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.

Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.

67. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – DAY

The elevator reaches the top, 40 stories up, and lurches to a stop. Sean staggers back, and Rick swings up and gets in the elevator. He and Sean fight.

Essence: Sean’s plan is nearly complete.

Conflict: Many peoples’ lives are at stake.

Subtext: No one including the people that planted the bombs are aware of what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can stop Sean before the bombs go off. We fear he won’t be able to.

68. INT. VARIOUS BUILDINGS – DAY

The timer on each bomb has ten seconds.

Essence: The bombs are about to go off.

Conflict: A lot of people are about to die.

Subtext: No one suspects what’s about to happen.

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick can still disarm the bombs’ timers. We fear it’s too late.

69. EXT. THE CONSTRUCTION ELEVATOR – DAY

Sean knocks Rick backwards, and he falls down, half of him hangs over the side. Sean rushes over and pins Rick down, pulls out his phone and says all they need to do now is to watch the time countdown. Rick reaches up and grabs Sean’s phone. They struggle over it and Rick throws Sean out of the elevator to his death. Rick looks at the app and turns off the timers on the bombs. There’s one second left on each of them.

Essence: Rick saves the day.

Conflict: Sean almost bombed a whole new bunch of buildings.

Subtext: Only Rick knows what he just prevented.

Hope/Fear: We hoped we would save the day. We have no need to fear since he did.

70. INT. VARIOUS BUIDLINGS – DAY
The masks on the faces of each of Sean’s helpers shimmer, revealing their true identity. They all look around like a deer in headlights, unaware of how they got there.

Essence: The nightmare is over

Conflict: Each of Sean’s helpers can’t figure out why they’re in the place they’re in.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hoped Rick would save the city. We have no need to fear now that he did.

71. INT. FBI FIELD OFFICE – DAY

Rick is presented with the bureau’s highest award. Stephanie and their kids look on with pride. As everyone applauds, Agent Stevens tells him he’s ready to retire and is recommending him to become the new supervising agent for their field office.

Essence: Rick saved the day and found his purpose as an agent once again.

Conflict: His inner conflict is resolved.

Subtext: N/A

Hope/Fear: We hope Rick would save the day. There’s no need to fear now that he did.

[Frances Emerson]

MODULE FOUR LESSON TEN

FRAN’S FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINES

WHAT I LEARNED: I just want to start writing my scenes now.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

1. INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE

Beginning: Jerome and Meredith Kearns are in the shop looking for a gift for their daughter.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith have an argument over the possible purchase of a book/diary Meredith wants to buy. Jerome says no.

END: Meredith buys the book on the QT, slips it in her purse and walks out.

2. INT.ON FILM STUDIO SET

Beginning: Starlet is throwing a fit on a scene she’s having problems with and wants fixed.

Middle: Meredith and Jerome get into and argument over the scene’s integrity. Jerome and the Starlet win.

END: Meredith goes home to work on the scene.

3. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith tries to fix the scene, but it’s not working for her. Jerome goes out on a business thing. Instead, he’s meeting the starlet for a rendezvous.

Middle: She settles down to read her book.

END: Meredith discovers a wonderful story inside. She calls her agent to tell her she’s found a story she wants to turn into a new script. In the meantime, she asks the agent to find her a new assignment and a new partner. She thinks Jerome is going to fire her (and frankly, she’s ok with that.)

4. INT. ON FILM STUDIO SET, NEXT DAY

Beginning: Meredith’s new scene is still not to the starlet’s liking.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith get into another argument. He fires Meredith. He’s already hired a new writer to take her place.

End: Meredith gets a call from her agent. She found someone who loves her idea and wants to work with her. She is overjoyed. He wants to meet up with her.

5. INT. RESTAURANT

Beginning: Meredith meets with her prospective new partner.

Middle: She discovers it’s an old flam from her past. They want to strike up the friendship again. They are happy to be working together.

End: Jerome finds out and who Meredith will be working with. It’s his old nemesis from film school. He is not happy and intends to break up the partnership before it gets started.

6. INT. COURTROOM

Beginning: Things heat up. Meredith asks for a divorce. But Jerome is not happy. He gives her a rough time of it.

Middle: Their daughter gets in the middle of it.

END: The contention gets out of control. But the daughter is on the mother’s side.

7. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith and Alex have a heart to heart talk. Alex tells her she knows about her father’s affairs and wants her to be happy.

Middle: Meredith has lost the belief in herself. She tries to regain it.

END: Her new partner has a healthy part in her getting her bearings back and her zeal for her new story.

8. INT. FILM STUDIO

Beginning: The divorce becomes finalized. Meredith is now free.

Middle: But Jerome is not finished. He intends to make the partner pay and to get Meredith back.

End: Jerome tries one more time to break up the partnership He fails. His movie fails. But …

9. INT. FILM FESTIVAL

Beginning: Meredith is finally free of Jerome. She goes on to garner prais and kudos for her work.

Middle: She is finally up for an Oscar. Jerome is jealous. He tries to sabotage her good luck. But …

END: Meredith wins her Oscar. And in the end she has a new partnership and she also finds a possible new love.

[George Petersen]

George Petersen FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINES!

What I learned from this assignment is this: the more you put into a scene before you write it, the easier it is to write it.

THE SUMMER OF HAIGHT

ACT 1

1 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From happy to be together to Jonathan threatening to end their friendship if Longfellow doesn’t draw up the new will

Essence: Jonathan inexplicably commands Longfellow to draw up a new will leaving all his wealth to a good-for-nothing hippie no one has ever heard of

Conflict: Longfellow, under pressure, makes a solemn promise not to investigate the hippie, Youngblood, in any way

Subtext: From Jonathan: Don’t you dare ask me about anything. From Longfellow: Not sure if I can honor an agreement that is so stupid

Hope/fear: Jonathan hopes for a new will that will secure his future / Longfellow fears the end of their friendship

Beginning: (mystery) Why Jonathan would leave his estate to a hippie is a mystery

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) When Jonathan demands that Longfellow promise not to interfere with the hippie as the sole beneficiary of his will, it’s an uncomfortable moment

Ending: (betrayal) By not confiding in Longfellow, Longfellow feels betrayed / (Internal Dilemma) To keep his promise or to break it in order to help save Jonathan from whatever it is that’s causing him to do something so stupid, is an internal dilemma for Longfellow

2 EXT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY – NIGHT

Scene Arc: From Longfellow not understanding what kind of person Youngblood is to having a pretty good idea what makes him tick

Essence: Longfellow breaks his promise to Jonathan and follows Youngblood into the Haight, photographs him going wild and crazy.

Conflict: Longfellow is tormented with guilt for breaking his promise but thrilled to find out what Youngblood is really like – a hippie who feels liberated to indulge himself in insatiable self-gratification on an insane level, without limits

Subtext: Longfellow’s hatred of Youngblood grows and grows

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for an unmasking of sorts but fears Youngblood’s nature. He also fears that he may be followed himself.

Beginning: (suspense) Longfellow is in suspense for what he may discover following Youngblood

Middle: (surprise) Longfellow is shocked and surprised by what he sees (superior position) the audience knows Youngblood is being followed; he doesn’t (superior position) the audience knows Youngblood is being followed; he doesn’t

Ending: (intrigue) It’s driving Longfellow crazy to know what Youngblood’s secret plan is

3 EXT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: Longfellow goes from deep concern to flat out fear about the deeper nature of Youngblood

Essence: Longfellow confronts Youngblood, threatens him with legal action if he harms Jonathan in any way

Conflict: Longfellow blocks Youngblood’s path to the cellar door. Youngblood presents his personal key to the back door of Jonathan’s mansion. He has a right to be here. Back off.

Subtext: Longfellow has no idea that Youngblood is an expression Jonathan’s dark side

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Jonathan will come to his senses when he gives his report / He fears Youngblood as a person

Beginning: (surprise) Youngblood is surprised by Longfellow’s presence

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow threatens Youngblood with legal action should he harm Jonathan

Ending: (major twist) Youngblood presents his own key to the mansion; it is Longfellow who is out of line

4 INT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite request to why don’t you leave

Essence: The police officers put Longfellow in his place when he asks for Maggie

Conflict: Longfellow asks for Maggie and is put down by the police officers

Subtext: The police officers make no effort to hide their disdain for Longfellow, given how he treated Maggie

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to find Maggie some day / He fears being judged so harshly. Beginning: (surprise) The police officers are surprised to see Longfellow step into the station

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow has to practically beg for information on Maggie

Ending: (betrayal) The police officers feel Longfellow betrayed Maggie

5 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From a polite report to raging anger

Essence: Longfellow has discovered what kind of person Youngblood really is and is excited to no end to communicate all to Jonathan

Conflict: Jonathan feels betrayed when Longfellow presents his black and white photos of Youngblood going crazy in the Haight. He rages at Longfellow, which is shocking since he has never raised his voice before. Jonathan demands that Longfellow give Youngblood the respect that he deserves. Longfellow is shaken and presents the new will for Jonathan to sign. Jonathan signs, then breaks off their friendship, just chops it off like it was nothing.

Subtext: Longfellow is taken back by Jonathan’s raging anger. Where does it come from?

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that Jonathan will come to his senses someday / Longfellow goes into a deep depression, fearing he has lost Jonathan like he lost Maggie.

Beginning: (surprise) Jonathan is surprised with being presented photos of Youngblood

Middle: (betrayal) Jonathan feels betrayed by Longfellow: he broke his promise

Ending: (character changes radically) Soft spoken Jonathan explodes at Longfellow, enraged.

6 INT. TOMMY’S JOYNT – DAY

Scene Arc: From a polite encounter to one of deep subtext pain

Essence: Longfellow asks Maggie, a police detective, for help with the problem of Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow has to beg for help. Maggie is reluctant, given what happened in their breakup

Subtext: seeing Maggie again opens an old wound

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Maggie can help solve the mystery of Youngblood / He fears that he has lost her forever.

Beginning: (betrayal) Maggie feels betrayed by Longfellow, a bad break up

Middle: (internal dilemma) Maggie is torn between letting Longfellow go and helping him

Ending: (mystery) Longfellow presents the mystery surrounding Youngblood to her

7 EXT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From looking forward to seeing Jonathan to being distraught at the news of his disappearance

Essence: Longfellow learns that Jonathan has disappeared without a trace

Conflict: Longfellow passes by Youngblood as he leaves by the front door. Their eyes are like daggers. Why the front door? Doesn’t he always leave by the back door?

Subtext: Polite encounters mask a growing hatred for each other

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that Jonathan will be found / He fears that Youngblood has killed him. He must have found out that he is the sole beneficiary.

Beginning: (intrigue) Longfellow is intrigued with seeing Youngblood leave the mansion by the front door

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Youngblood flashes Longfellow a face of hatred

Ending: (uncertainty) Longfellow is uncertain where all this is headed

ACT 2

8 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From edgy polite to yelling.

Essence: Youngblood is moving in

Conflict: Youngblood shows up at the mansion with a suitcase. Starts barking orders to Alfred and the staff.

Subtext: Youngblood the hippie feels entitled to the mansion

Hope/fear: Alfred and the staff hope Youngblood will leave on his own / They fear he’s here to stay

Beginning: (surprise) Alfred and the staff are surprised with Youngblood showing up

Middle: (Intrigue) What is Youngblood planning?

Ending: (uncertainty) What should we do? Alfred should ask Longfellow for help

9 INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From pleading to desperate

Essence: Longfellow must act, do something, anything, legal or not, to get Youngblood out of the mansion

Conflict: Alfred comes to see Longfellow, pleads for his intervention. Longfellow hesitates. He fears Youngblood, thinks he’s flat out dangerous.

Subtext: a sense of foreboding

Hope/fear: Alfred hopes Longfellow will help / He fears being in the same house as Youngblood

Beginning: (surprise) Alfred surprises Longfellow by showing up

Middle: (intrigue) It’s hard to figure out what Youngblood is planning

Ending: (internal dilemma) Longfellow must decide: back off or do something, anything

10 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to shoving to fighting. Maggie has to break them up.

Essence: Longfellow acts, attempts to evict Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow shows up at the mansion with Maggie and a letter of eviction. But Youngblood gets out of it by claiming that he’s been paying rent for the last six months and he has another six months remaining on the lease. He presents the lease, signed by Jonathan.

Subtext: Don’t mess with me

Hope/fear: Youngblood reminds Longfellow of the 100 day disappearance clause in the will. He hopes Longfellow will give up the fight. / Longfellow fears Youngblood will never leave.

Beginning: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow tries to evict Youngblood

Middle: (mislead/reveal) Youngblood presents the signed lease. It’s a fake.

Ending: (character changes radically) Youngblood explodes in a rage

11 INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From calm to desperate as Longfellow realizes time is running out. There must be something we can do?

Essence: Longfellow learns that there are no leads on Jonathan’s disappearance.

Conflict: Longfellow demands that more be done to find Jonathan. Maggie insists that nothing more can be done since there are no leads.

Subtext: desperation

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Jonathan can be found / He fears Youngblood has killed him

Beginning: (surprise) Longfellow is surprised there are no leads on Jonathan’s disappearance

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) tension between Longfellow and Maggie

Ending: (uncertainty) It’s hard, not knowing if Jonathan is alive or not

12 INT. ARBITRATION ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: From hopeful to outright disaster

Essence: Longfellow disputes the will in arbitration, but is told that it is his friendship with Jonathan that makes the will indisputable. Youngblood wins.

Conflict: Longfellow wants to cut Youngblood out of the estate. Youngblood wants to humiliate Longfellow

Subtext: hatred, vengeance

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to cut Youngblood out of the will through arbitration / He fears there is no stopping Youngblood if he loses. Beginning: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow tries to shut down the will

Middle: (betrayal) Longfellow feels betrayed by Jonathan for not telling him about the lease

Ending: (major twist) Longfellow’s friendship with Jonathan seals the will

13 INT. JONATHAN’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From bad to worse

Essence: Maggie confirms no results on the investigation of Jonathan’s disappearance

Conflict: Longfellow questions Maggie’s efforts. Maggie demands that Longfellow accept reality

Subtext: anger, dismay

Hope/fear: Longfellow’s last hope is crushed / He fears there is no stopping Youngblood.

Beginning: (mystery) The mystery of Jonathan’s disappearance goes on

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Maggie and Longfellow face off under pressure

Ending: (uncertainty) What’s going to happen?

14 EXT. HAIGHT-ASHBURY – DAY

Scene Arc: determination to helplessness

Essence: Longfellow follows Youngblood and is attacked

Conflict: Longfellow follows Youngblood, but suspects he’s being followed too. Longfellow is seriously wounded. A hippie photographer, Hubie, saves him.

Subtext: Who are you? Are you an angel?

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to get the goods on Youngblood / He fears he almost lost his life in his pursuit.

Beginning: (suspense) will Youngblood be entrapped?

Middle: (major twist) the hunters become the hunted

Ending: (cliffhanger) Will Longfellow be OK?

15 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to edgy bitterness; Youngblood goes from beneficiary to owner

Essence: Youngblood inherits Jonathan’s wealth lock, stock and barrel

Conflict: Longfellow takes the new deed and bank papers to Youngblood for his signature. Longfellow is a broken man. It strikes him as odd that Youngblood should know so many details of the will. How can that be?

Subtext: Hatred, bitterness

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a miracle / He fears none is to come. Beginning: (surprise) Youngblood is surprised to see Longfellow at the mansion

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow brings the deed to Youngblood

Ending: (character changes radically) Longfellow sinks to the lower depths

16 EXT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Relating the facts to despair

Essence: Alfred communicates to Longfellow the intolerable behavior of Youngblood

Conflict: Longfellow is dismayed to learn that Youngblood holds all-night wild parties with vagrant hippies in the mansion.

Subtext: seething hatred

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to solve the mystery of Youngblood / He fears that his friend is gone, that Youngblood has killed him.

Beginning: (betrayal) Somehow Jonathan has betrayed him

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow burns to see Youngblood hold wild parties in the mansion

Ending: (surprise) Youngblood is surprised to see Longfellow watching him through the window. He closes the curtains

ACT 3

17 INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From detached to hysterical

Essence: Alfred communicates to Longfellow that Youngblood is getting out of control. The staff lives in fear.

Conflict: What can we do?

Subtext: fear of what’s coming

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a way to contain Youngblood / He fears it may be too late

Beginning: (mystery) Why is Youngblood staying at the mansion?

Middle: (external dilemma) Longfellow: to let it slide or take action

Ending: (uncertainty) What’s going to happen?

18 INT. THE DROGSTORE – DAY

Scene Arc: From cooperative to resistant

Essence: All Cowboy knows is that “the sparkly” comes from a remote mine not too far from Virginia City, Nevada.

Conflict: Jonathan needed the sparkly for his experiments, but why would Youngblood need it too?

Subtext: suspicious

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Cowboy will explain more / He fears he may not get to the bottom of it.

Beginning: (suspense) What will happen when they meet up with the drug dealer?

Middle: (surprise) Longfellow and Alfred are caught with a drug dealer’

Ending: (major twist) Longfellow is caught asking for drugs

19 INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From pleading to contentious

Essence: the decision that sends Longfellow to jail

Conflict: Longfellow wants Alfred released. This is all my fault anyway.

Subtext: there’s more to this story that I’m not telling you

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes Alfred will be released / He fears for what’s behind the drugs.

Beginning: (uncertainty) Will Longfellow be locked up?

Middle: (internal dilemma) given a choice, Longfellow chooses to be locked up, if Alfred can go free

Ending: (character changes radically) Longfellow is becoming more active

20 INT. JAIL CELL – DAY

Scene Arc: From on guard to cooperative

Essence: Longfellow and Hubie become a team.

Conflict: At first, Longfellow won’t share with Hubie what he knows.

Subtext: stay away from me

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes the plan will work / He fears for what happens if it fails.

Beginning: (surprise) Longfellow meets Hubie again

Middle: (mystery) Longfellow presses for Hubie to reveal who he is

Ending: (intrigue) Hubie supports Longfellow’s plan

21 INT. HUBIE’S DARK ROOM – DAY

Scene Arc: From careful consideration to alarm

Essence: When Hubie shows Longfellow photos of the sparkly drugs/metamorphosis explosion, L immediately remembers seeing that trace on the dead body in the street.

Conflict: Hubie’s evidence suggests Youngblood is a serial killer

Subtext: We’re in deep here

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes for a solution to the mystery / He fears he’s in over his head.

Beginning: (surprise) Longfellow didn’t know about the sparkly psychedelic debris

Middle: (betrayal) Hubie betrays Youngblood’s secrets

Ending: (intrigue) Longfellow is excited to learn more about Youngblood’s plan

22 INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From polite to intense

Essence: Longfellow, Hubie and Maggie put together a plan to catch the hippie red-handed and expose him as the unknown serial killer.

Conflict: different views on how to execute the plan

Subtext: the wrong move may get us all killed

Hope/fear: The team hopes to trap Youngblood / The fear getting killed.

Beginning: (intrigue) What is Youngblood’s game plan and how can we subvert it?

Middle: (uncertainty) Sounds good, but what if we’re wrong?

Ending: (betrayal) Longfellow shares the plan with the wrong person

23 EXT. YOUNGBLOOD’S FLOP HOUSE – DAY

Scene Arc: From tense waiting to confusion to death

Essence: Longfellow and Hubie’s plan fails

Conflict: Youngblood kills Hubie

Subtext: things are falling apart

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to capture Youngblood red handed / He fears there is nothing stopping Youngblood now.

Beginning: (suspense) will Youngblood show up?

Middle: (betrayal) Youngblood feels betrayed

Ending: (major twist) Youngblood prevails

24 INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

Scene Arc: Longfellow didn’t think he could sink lower, but here he is.

Essence: Longfellow as a defeated man

Conflict: Longfellow’s dark night of the soul – a man confused and in conflict with himself. Longfellow takes comfort in the bottle, smashes a cherished framed picture of Jonathan and himself in better times, a symbol of their unbreakable friendship. All is lost.

Subtext: despair

Hope/fear: Lost hope / fear at what a victorious and vengeful Youngblood will do.

Beginning: (character changes radically) Longfellow sinks lower

Middle: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow faces his own failure

Ending: (uncertainty) What will happen to Longfellow?

ACT 4

25 INT. LONGFELLOW’S APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From boredom to excitement

Essence: Maggie brings the last trace sample of the sparkly debris to Longfellow

Conflict: We know that Youngblood is the killer, now how do we prove it?

Subtext: anticipation

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes they are on to something / He fears that they won’t be able to prove their suspicions.

Beginning: (major twist) Maggie turns up with the last trace of the drug Jonathan had ordered

Middle: (mystery) Longfellow learns about what makes the drug so mysterious

Ending: (intrigue) How does this drug fit into Youngblood’s plan?

26 INT. JONATHAN’S MANSION – DAY

Scene Arc: From a careful search to a rush to finish

Essence: Maggie and Longfellow search the mansion for the sparkly debris

Conflict: To conclude the search before Youngblood returns

Subtext: we’re getting closer

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to find evidence / He fears he will not.

Beginning: (surprise) Alfred is surprised to see the search happen

Middle: (mystery) What did Jonathan do with the drug?

Ending: (uncertainty) What now? Thanks

27 INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Scene Arc: From resistance to everyone getting on board.

Essence: Longfellow and Maggie organize the entire police department in an undercover plan at the Be-In.

Conflict: the risk of being killed

Subtext: this better work

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes that this time the plan will work / He fears that Youngblood won’t show up at the Be-In.

Beginning: (suspense) will this plan get us all killed?

Middle: (mystery) the mystery surrounding Youngblood must be unmasked

Ending: (uncertainty) What will happen to us?

28 EXT. GOLDEN GATE PARK – DAY

Scene Arc: From methodical searching to a chase

Essence: Youngblood is caught in the act of murder

Conflict: attempted murder

Subtext: horror

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to catch Youngblood in the act / He fears he won’t find him.

Beginning: (suspense) Where is Youngblood?

Middle: (surprise) Longfellow catches Youngblood in the act

Ending: (uncomfortable moment) Longfellow pursues Youngblood

29 EXT. CITY STREETS – DAY

Scene Arc: From one side of the city to the other

Essence: Longfellow pursues Youngblood across the city

Conflict: the chase

Subtext: I’m going to be so happy when you’re gone

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to entrap Youngblood / He fears he will get away.

Beginning: (surprise) Youngblood finds himself pursued by the entire police force

Middle: (character changes radically) Youngblood moves like a fast animal. Escapes.

Ending: (uncertainty) Where did he go?

30 INT. CELLAR APARTMENT – DAY

Scene Arc: From an attack to quiet

Essence: Longfellow kills Youngblood/Jonathan

Conflict: a brutal attack

Subtext: how peaceful it is now that you’re gone

Hope/fear: Longfellow hopes to rescue Jonathan / He fears Jonathan may be dead — which he is.

Beginning: (suspense) Where’s Youngblood?

Middle: (cliffhanger) A shot. Youngblood falls out of the darkness

Ending: (major twist) in killing Jonathan, Longfellow has killed his best friend

[Frances Emerson]

I’m reposting this assignment because the first post wasn’t completed. I am well again and I was able to work on my outline

MODULE FOUR LESSON TEN

FRAN’S FASCINATING SCENE OUTLINES

WHAT I LEARNED: I just want to start writing my scenes now.

MY VISION: I want to write great movies. Movies that are magical, movies that move people and tell the truth. I want to write movies that stars will want to be in.

MEREDITH’S STORY

1. INT. NOVELTY SHOPPE

Beginning: Jerome and Meredith Kearns are in the shop looking for a gift for their daughter.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith have an argument over the possible purchase of a book/diary Meredith wants to buy. Jerome says no.

END: Meredith buys the book on the QT, slips it in her purse and walks out.

2. INT.ON FILM STUDIO SET

Beginning: Starlet is throwing a fit on a scene she’s having problems with and wants fixed.

Middle: Meredith and Jerome get into and argument over the scene’s integrity. Jerome and the Starlet win.

END: Meredith goes home to work on the scene.

3. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith tries to fix the scene, but it’s not working for her. Jerome goes out on a business thing. Instead, he’s meeting the starlet for a rendezvous.

Middle: She settles down to read her book.

END: Meredith discovers a wonderful story inside. She calls her agent to tell her she’s found a story she wants to turn into a new script. In the meantime, she asks the agent to find her a new assignment and a new partner. She thinks Jerome is going to fire her (and frankly, she’s ok with that.)

4. INT. ON FILM STUDIO SET, NEXT DAY

Beginning: Meredith’s new scene is still not to the starlet’s liking.

Middle: Jerome and Meredith get into another argument. He fires Meredith. He’s already hired a new writer to take her place.

End: Meredith gets a call from her agent. She found someone who loves her idea and wants to work with her. She is overjoyed. He wants to meet up with her.

5. INT. RESTAURANT

Beginning: Meredith meets with her prospective new partner.

Middle: She discovers it’s an old flam from her past. They want to strike up the friendship again. They are happy to be working together.

End: Jerome finds out and who Meredith will be working with. It’s his old nemesis from film school. He is not happy and intends to break up the partnership before it gets started.

6. INT. COURTROOM

Beginning: Things heat up. Meredith asks for a divorce. But Jerome is not happy. He gives her a rough time of it.

Middle: Their daughter gets in the middle of it.

END: The contention gets out of control. But the daughter is on the mother’s side.

7. INT. APARTMENT

Beginning: Meredith and Alex have a heart to heart talk. Alex tells her she knows about her father’s affairs and wants her to be happy.

Middle: Meredith has lost the belief in herself. She tries to regain it.

END: Her new partner has a healthy part in her getting her bearings back and her zeal for her new story.

8. INT. FILM STUDIO

Beginning: The divorce becomes finalized. Meredith is now free.

Middle: But Jerome is not finished. He intends to make the partner pay and to get Meredith back.

End: Jerome tries one more time to break up the partnership He fails. His movie fails. But …

9. INT. FILM FESTIVAL

Beginning: Meredith is finally free of Jerome. She goes on to garner prais and kudos for her work.

Middle: She is finally up for an Oscar. Jerome is jealous. He tries to sabotage her good luck. But …

END: Meredith wins her Oscar. And in the end she has a new partnership and she also finds a possible new love.

OLGA’S STORY

EXT. ROYAL FAMILY YACHT – DAY

Beginning: A Family outing.

Middle: Olga expresses her “love” for a young officer on board to her sister.

End: Olga is told her love can never be. He is beneath her station.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, RECEIVING ROOM – DAY

Beginning: The family is gathered to greet the young officer, the object of Olga’s affections.

Middle: The young officer asks Czar Nicholas for permission to marry on of the lady’s in waiting at the court. Permission is granted.

End: Olga’s heart is broken.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, GRAND BALLROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: It’s Olga’s coming of age celebration. Her father gifts her with a precious necklace, a St. George’s medallion

Middle: Olga falls in love with the necklace. She meets her distant cousin Dmitri at the Ball.

End: She falls madly in love with Dmitri and he with her.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE, RECEIVING ROOM

Beginning: Olga and Dmitri tell her parents. They express their undying love for each other.

Middle: A wedding is in the works. There must be preparation. Alexei, Olga’s little brother becomes ill again.

End: Rasputin enters the picture.

INT. ALEXEI’S ROOM – NIGHT

Beginning: Alexei is gravely ill. Czarina Alexandra is beside herself.

Middle: Rasputin says he can help the boy—for a price.

End: In front of the girls, Alexandra agrees and she and Rasputin leave the room together. The girls do not like Rasputin. Olga vows if Alexei dies, she will become czar. She is told that can never be according to the laws of the land.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Beginning: Rumors abound. Czarina Alexandra is under Rasputin’ spell.

Middle: The palace men and Dmitri plot together to kill Rasputin and rid them of the evil. They try to kill him with poisoned pastries.

End: He does not die until they throw him in the river to rid Russia once and for all of Rasputin.

INT. ROMANOV PALACE – DAY

Beginning: Alexandra suspects the lot. She banishes Dmitri from Russia, Cancels the wedding and forbids Olga to ever see Dmitri again.

Middle: Olga begs for her mother to reconsider. But it is not to be.

End: Olga’s love for her mother turns to hatred.

EXT. EUROPEAN THEATER – DAY

Beginning: WORLD WAR ONE BEGINS.

Middle: Days, weeks, years, Russia is devastated by the war.

End: The Bolsheviks revolt, take the Romanov’s hostage.

EXT. /INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: The Romanovs are taken to a military hospital as hostage in order to help the wounded in the war.

Middle: Olga has a hard time trying to become a nurse. She’s not very good at it. Her temper puts her on desk duty. She becomes friends with a young woman there who helps her.

End: The woman’s name is Valentina. Valentina begins to write a journal about her experiences with Olga.

EXT. BATTLE / INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: The battle is fierce. There are many war casualties.

Middle: Many wounded soldiers are brought into the hospital. Olga is reassigned to care for some of the wounded, the staff being shorthanded. She is assigned one young soldier, Dmitri.

End: As she cares for Dmitri, she finds she is falling in love with him. And it appears he is falling in love with her.

INT. MILITARY HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning: Olga confides in her friend Valentina.

Middle: Olga makes amends with her mother.

End: She begins writing letters to Dmitri once is out of the hospital and no longer needs care.

INT. TAVERN – NIGHT

Beginning: Dmitri enjoys an evening carousing in a tavern with his friends from the war.

Middle: He shares the letters Olga wrote to him with his friends. They mock and make fun of Olga’s love for Dmitri.

End: When Olga learns of this, her heart is broken.

EXT. MOSCOW – DAY

Beginning: There is a Bolshevik uprising.

Middle: The family is again in jeopardy. They are removed from the hospital.

End: They are taken to another place for sequestering.

INT. HOLDING CELL – DAY

Beginning: It’s days for the family to know what their fate will be.

Middle: Alexandria tells her daughter Olga she is sorry she banished Dmitri and they forgive each other.

End: In the end, the Bolsheviks return and murder the entire family. They begin looting the bodies of the royal family. One soldier finds Olga’s necklace given to her by her father and takes it from her neck. The soldiers leave. Valentina learns of her friend’s fate. She is heartbroken.

[Joyce Davidson]

Joyce’s: 4/10

Vision: to create memorable movies that actors want to perform.

WIL Technology is tough. I am finally able to post. I learned not to become frustrated, well , not too much.

ACT ONE

#1

EXT./INT: CAMPUS THEATER – NIGHT

Beginning

Grad students in Shakespeare Literature class in the audience for required attendance of Othello.

OTHELLO

Speak of me as I am. Nothing extenuate, Nor set down aught in malice. Then must you speak Of one that loved not wisely, but too well; Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought, Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand, Like the base Judean, threw a pearl away Richer than all his tribe;

Essence: Shakespeare’s play Othello plays final night at campus theater. Between entrances and exits they give their opinions. Colin and Hunter disagree.

Hope: Professor hopes grad students like it.

Conflict: Laurel sits by Colin who is surprised and flattered and Hunter is angry. Delaney is skeptical.

Subtext: Colin isn’t used to attention from women.

Arc: He goes from showing embarrassment to tolerance.

Middle

Laurel wants Colin to walk her home. Delaney insists she will drive her.

Tomorrow Professor expects dissertation topics.

End

On the way to the parking lot Othello catches up with Delaney and Laurel.

EXT. INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

#2

Beginning:

Big picture: Colin knows literature, but not women.

Essence: A graduate class is divided by positions they take about Shakespeare ‘s authorship controversy.

Hope/Fear: Colin faces the last semester to earn a PHD. And his last opportunity financially.

Conflict: The brightest student of the class accepts historical Stratfordian legacy. A division of legacy believers and new evidence believers emerges.

Subtext embeds their opinions which cause jealousy. Also, they vie for an assistantship position for Professor, whose opinion will be revealed.

Arc: Colin, becomes distracted by Laurel.

In the library among the shelves several students search for books. COLIN FAIRBANKS, graduate student, reaches for a heavy volume, but before he pulls it, LAUREL GOODE, sexy classmate, yanks his shoulder to face her. Her mission is to seduce Colin and have him write her dissertation and cheat on the finals. He refuses.

Middle:

He tries to avoid Laurel by the 820’s stacks She asks him to write her dissertation and kisses him.

A large book drops from the top shelf on Colin.

Delaney interrupts as Colin fumbles with the book.

Hunter appears.

Colin blames Hunter. But he backs away from a scuffle.

Hunter assures him if he did it, he wouldn’t have missed.

End:

Laurel storms off in a huff with Hunter close behind.

Delaney ridicules Colin for falling for Laurel’s motives.

Colin has his confidence dashed.

#3

EXIT. / INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Essence: Two sides form.

Hope: Colin is a dud around women, a failing we hope ends with sexy Laurel.

Subtext: Delaney annoys HUnter.

Conflict: Hunter appears angry when Laurel flirts with Colin.

Arc: Colin, uncomfortable with confrontations, admits the class is becoming a battlefield.

Beginning

Delaney sits by Hunter, engrossed in a newspaper in the current periodicals, and teases him.

Middle

She has never seen him go to the library. He tries to wriggle his way out since computers provide enormous information and he never saw her study anything until today.

End

Hunter follows Delaney to the literature section.

#4

INT.CAMPUS LIBRARY – DAY

Essence: Colin is the most dedicated to the studies.

Fear: Classmates resent him.

Conflict: Hunter shows his anger toward Colin.

Arc: He changes from lackadaisical to concerned.

Beginning

Colin collects several volumes and hands them to Laurel. She declares he can’t resist her. She kisses him. Colin is uncomfortable with sexy women,

Middle

Delaney and Hunter interrupt Laurel’s clinch, an embarrassment for Colin. Laurel accuses Hunter of dropping a book on her. He denies it and shifts accusations to Laurel’s flirting because she came to study with Colin.

Subtext: What is Hunter up to? Is he merely determined to be graduated and why does he help Laurel?

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

#5

Beginning

Grad students cram through the doorway while Colin holds it open and make fun of him.

INT. LECTURE ROOM DAY

Essence: the class professor has an interest in their standing about the controversy.

Conflict: One of them will be the professor’s assistant for the last semester.

Hope/fear: Colin is a shoo-in, but he can’t accept., even though he needs the financial help.

Scene arc: Colin corrects Hunter’s explanation.

PROFESSOR GRAYDON ALEXANDRES draws three rings on a portable chalkboard. Inside the first he writes “concept,” the second, “research,” and third, “completion.” He points the chalk at Laurel and places an X between concept and research. She pulls books out of a satchel, library books. Delaney laughs at Laurel. There was no time for her to checkout books. Laurel whines that she couldn’t find her I.D. anyway. Her thesis will be to contrast Ophelia, Kate in “Taming of the Shrew,” Desdemona, Juliet about their poor choice of lovers.

Middle

Hunter offers the only comment that her dissertation will run two pages at least.

Professor asks Hunter to discuss his project. Hunter stands beside the lectern. He strokes his chin, stares at the ceiling, turns to the others and recites lines from Hamlet’s “to be or not to be:.. His thesis concerns fathers and how they drive their children. He cites the “To be or not to be” quote. Professor with raised eyebrows nods at Colin whose looks suggest he is unwilling to comment. Professor clears his throat. Colin takes on the whole class in a discussion. His comments cause trouble, and the class ridicules him.

End

After a hot discussion about Hunter’s proposed thesis concerning questions in Shakespeare’s plays, such as in Macbeth and Hamlet. Hamlet’s soliloquy is like a debate topic, such as “resolved a decline in global reliance on the dollar would help international economies” and did not mean what Hunter proposes. Hunter attacks Colin whose elbow smacks Hunter’s nose accidentally.

Students break it up. Colin asks a series of questions. Hunter finally argues he has more than one idea and uses poor grammar, which Colin corrects. The entire class moans.

Professor announces that he will choose one of them as his assistant for the fall term from their applications. Since Delaney is in competition with all classmates, especially with Colin, for an assistant position during their last term toward a PHD. She shoots daggers at him.

#6

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Beginning

Colin dislikes disputes and confrontation.

Essence: Colin opposes professor’s ideas, but admires the man. He doesn’t criticize.

Hope: We hope Colin will take a stand.

Conflict: The controversy is no longer just a hot subject but dangerous.

Subtext: Much money will be lost by people who benefit from current authorship credits in Stratford.

Middle

Finished manuscript about the real authorship of Shakespearean plays and sonnets which is ready for publication may anger the current Shakespearean legacy advocates with this new evidence. It will cause an uproar among Shakespeare’s legacy, followers, the tourist industry, and publications. Secret: Professor will not divulge how he has old script page of Cardenio and what this means to his manuscript.

End

Professor asks why Colin hasn’t applied for assistant job.

Colin says it wouldn’t be a good fit because Professor’s remarks often collide with Colin’s beliefs.

Colin warns Professor the manuscript may cause danger. People are complaining that they have much to lose, but the other camp says the truth is important. No one should go without credit for genius.

EXT. GRADUATE STUDIES BUILDING – DAY

#7

Beginning

Colin is tired of Delaney’s ridicule and her arguments.

Essence: Colin dodges Delaney at the elevator.

Fear: Will they ever be more than classmates, at odds, too?

Subtext: Delaney knows more about seventeenth century culture than Colin.

Arc: Colin can’t avoid opposing ideas to the authorship any more not only because it has divided the class but also because the professor’s book may add too much fuel to the fight.

Delaney follows Colin out of class and continues the arguments, but Colin leaves her in an elevator just as the doors are closing.

INT./ EXT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: The International Shakespeare Society for Preservation of Shakespeare’s Legacy is prepared to stop the professor at any cost.

Conflict: He has a manuscript ready to reveal new evidence.

Hope/fear: on the part of Delaney. She dislikes Colin and will do anything to keep him out of her way.

Arc: From discussions and published books to threats.

Beginning

President of Graduate Studies looks out the window at the campus before he answers the two visitors at his desk, Cecil Bragg and Rosalind Sharp from the International Shakespeare Society.

He welcomes their generous endowment donation, but he wonders why Professor Alexandres has anything to connected to it. They leave after giving a veiled threat about the professor and his new publication.

INT. / EXT. CAMPUS LIBRARY FOURTH FLOOR – DAY

Essence: The professor suffers a mysterious attack.

Hope/fear: We hope he will be able to publish his book.

Conflict: The manuscript is taken.

Subtext: Delaney doesn’t suffer from the attack although she is nearby.

Arc: Colin saves Delaney and professor.

Beginning

Fourth floor houses the rare books with appropriate air control. The humidifier hisses. Professor looks up from his reading at the noise.

Delaney approaches him. She hopes that Colin isn’t the new assistant because of his blind disregard about the unmasking of Shakespeare.

Professor has no time for her.

The hissing continues.

Middle

When Professor nods and closes his eyes, Bragg steals the manuscript, but Othello startles him and he drops it, so Delaney steals it and staggers out with it into Colin’s arms. Bragg and Othello disappear.

End

Colin calls for help and goes back for the professor, who is unconscious.

INT. CAMPUS LIBRARY MAIN FLOOR – DAY

Essence: Police question Colin.

Hope: We hope he won’t be blamed.

Conflict: Delaney says she saw two men.

Police suggest that she was thinking about the play and the other man was Colin. She implicates him.

Police open the manuscript, filled with blank pages.

Since professor can’t talk about what might be missing, Colin is set free and police rule case is an accident caused by a faulty humidifier.

Arc: Police will watch Colin’s activities.

#11

INT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Beginning

Colin visits the professor to study how he can help him.

Essence: Professor is severely impaired after the attack.

Hope: We hope Colin can communicate with him.

Arc. Colin tries different methods to communicate with the impaired professor.

Middle

He fails again and again until professor blinks his eyes and moves an index finger.

Subtext: The movements seem to be a message, but what?

End

Colin understands that the manuscript is missing. He must find a way to communicate with Professor Alexandres.

#12

INT. LECTURE ROOM – DAY

Beginning

Class meets without the professor.

Essence: Most classmates accept the police report. Hunter doesn’t want Colin’s involvement dropped.

Fear: If he quits his studies now, it is impossible for Colin to continue with his PHD.

Arc: Delaney admits that the manuscript is missing, and the professor can’t talk or explain where it is.

Middle

The class has no chance to write dissertations. Now, finals will replace dissertations. They are suspicious and argue about who should investigate further. None of them wants to give up finals to play detective, so Laurel passes around straws in a cup.

Hunter protests. Over-ruled.

Colin slumps with disappointment when he pulls the shortest straw.

Laurel offers to accompany him. Now Colin really looks frantic.

End

Delaney steps between them. She presents a fake shortened straw to be Colin’s assistant. It causes a heated discussion. Hunter takes Delaney aside and tells her to back off, but she says she will get the manuscript first, a real sacrifice since she dislikes Colin and his beliefs Colin refuses to go and investigate. Let Delaney handle the trip if she wants it so much. The others lean on his loyalty to the professor. No dice.

# 13

INT. ADMINISTRATION OFFICE – DAY

Essence: What can the university to do now the professor is hospitalized?

Subtext: The manuscript is their goal.

Fear: The opposition will take over.

Arc. The opposition doesn’t have the manuscript.

President of Graduate Studies at his desk with several visitors who expect the professor will be let go now that he is unable to speak. His tenure is of no use to him. The manuscript is a problem.

The administration decides to locate the manuscript and any other information possible to make sure it won’t damage the university graduate program and graduate funding.

#14

INT. PROFESSOR’S OFFICE – DAY

Essence: Someone searched professor’s office. Office is trashed.

Hope: They may have found a clue to the manuscript, a clue that sends them to Michigan.

Subtext: Items that seem unimportant are collected by Colin and Delaney.

Colin searches for clues, collects acrostics and other symbols that may lead to the attacker and the manuscript the vandal missed. Bible, Shakespeare, Don Quixote, torn receipt for mailing a package.

INT./ HOSPITAL ROOM AND CORRIDOR – DAY

Essence: Professor is still in danger.

Hope: Will Colin and Delaney ignore it until forced to by an assailant?

Subtext: They will help the professor.

Arc. They stop fighting each other.

Beginning

During a visit, Colin finds the hospital room empty. An aide tells him to wait because professor is having therapy. In a few moments Colin notices there is no scheduled therapy session listed on the nurse’s wall board. He chases a man down corridors and fails to stop him, but the professor, dumped out of his wheelchair, lies on the floor. An attendant wheels him back to his room and a nurse exams him. Colin won’t leave until he is sure Professor is not worse for his accident.

MIddle

A policeman interrogates Colin. Then, Delaney arrives. She claims that she didn’t see the intruder. Colin isn’t convinced that she didn’t.

End

Still, he accepts Delaney’s offer to help retrieve information from the professor.

INT. LAB – DAY

Essence: Colin examines the motor skills the professor lacks now.

Hope: Will the contraption he builds help with communication?

Conflict: The missing manuscript is only a part of the trouble.

Arc: Colin is actively working on Professor’s problems.

Subtext: Delaney works against him.

INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

Essence: Colin uncovers Professor’s plan.

Hope/fear: Will Colin be able to carry it out?

Subtext: There are a few clues they must investigate in Michigan and also Folger Library.

Arc: The manuscript isn’t on campus.

Beginning

With an old device Colin rigs for the professor to signal “yes” or “no” and communicate without speech, Colin begins to notice how the Professor is fighting to answer questions.

Reading the old relic, he gets a response from the professor’s gadget which point to a region in Spain where Professor sent his manuscript. In a town in Spain. they will find clues in the old play, Cardenio, which Society searches for in Europe.

Middle

With grant money professor had Colin promises that he will investigate and find the manuscript.

End

Delaney insists she will accompany Colin. So, neither will take the graduate finals or write dissertations. Colin’s PHD will be over.

ACT TWO

INT. MICHIGAN – RESTAURANT – DAY

Essence: In an interview with family whose relative in 1800’s made startling discoveries, they aren’t too forth coming.

Fear: Delaney will runs with this before other information is brought to light.

Conflict: Family wants none of this to come back at them.

Subtext: Colin sees there is secret information.

Arc: Colin changes his mind and is more receptive about the investigation.

Beginning

Throughout Shakespeare’s plays that provide information leading to Sir Henry Neville.

Middle

The family refuses to be quoted or their identity revealed.

End

Delaney persuades Colin to interview a recent author Linda Ramos.

INT. RAM0S’ HOME – DAY

Essence: Colin angers Linda with his opening remarks, so Delaney must encourage her to trust them.

Conflict: She had a co-author who refused to be acknowledged.

Hope/Fear: He may not be alive since he vanished.

Subtext: He last was seen in Spain.

Beginning.

Ramos sounds like it’s a commercial pitch for her book. Colin debates with her and upsets her.

Middle:

Delaney receives more information and the secret that she had a co-author who is missing.

End

They assure Linda they will also investigate the other author’s disappearance along with their manuscript search.

INT. AIRPORT IMMIGRATION – DAY

Essence: The opposition sends authorities .

Fear: The will stop and hold Colin at the airport.

Colin’s Passport is revoked and confiscated.

Subtext: Why does Delaney stay with him?

Arc: They have to find a way to travel to Europe.

Beginning

Authorities pull Colin from boarding line and interrogate him.

MIddle

They do not return his passport and go through his suitcases. Delaney rolls her eyes at the ultra organized, neat bag.

End

Colin hates to give up so early, but he must have his passport to leave. They also need his passport for him to come back. She has connections.

EXT. SHIP – DAY

Essence: Without passports they may be arrested on shore.

Fear: The search may end since someone alerts the authorities.

Subtext: Delaney refuses to change her mind about Colin.

Arc: Colin shares dry clothes with her and she accepts.

Beginning

Delaney finds berths on a barge/steamer. They will not be able to return through legal immigration ports.

Middle

The Captain gives Colin advice about women. He learns that police wait for them at their destination, so Colin jumps overboard with his suitcase, but Captain orders a mate to throw Delaney over the rail.

Delaney loses her suitcases.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin sees how attractive Delaney can.

Hope: We want them to be friends.

Conflict: They have separate reasons and can’t trust each other to get the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney keeps Colin at arm’s-length.

Arc: She softens a little when he offers her his dry clothes.

Beginning

The two make it to shore. Colin is surprised to see soaking wet Delaney without glasses and severe hair style. She dries out and looks very attractive.

Middle

She has no other clothes, but ever-organized Colin has a dry shirts to lend her. She thanks him half-heartedly.

End

She desperately wants the manuscript and pretends she is helping Colin, but she reveals plans to get the manuscript first to a contact.

INT. HOTEL – DAY

Essence: Colin has some of Professor’s evidence from his office. It points to the lost play, Cardenio.

Hope: Will they be able to find more of it?

Conflict: Delaney keeps information from Colin.

Subtext: Her arguments begin to give away her goals for coming with him.

Arc: Colin sees a pattern in the clues.

Cardenio has ties to Don Quixote.

Beginning.

They spread out the information they have already amassed, but Delaney contradicts Colin’s every interpretation.

Middle:

He accuses her of messing up the investigation.

End

He finds clues leading to Henry Neville, but he refuses to settle on him and studies further.

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: They have to investigate old play scripts.

Hope: Somebody must have family ties to Professor.

Subtext: Delaney questions Bragg’s connections.

Arc: A reveal shows her real intentions are personal

Beginning

Then, Colin interviews people who had ancestors who acted in Cardenio centuries before this. They give him information. He can form a plan.

Middle

Delaney steers Colin the wrong way.

End

Delaney leaves. Bragg is following them.

EXT. TOWN – DAY

Essence: Delaney meets Bragg secretly.

Conflict: Bragg threatens to kill Colin.

Subtext: Delaney agrees to give him whatever information they find.

Fear: We fear she will betray Colin and he will be harmed.

Arc: Delaney’s actions prove she isn’t loyal.

Beginning: Bragg has followed them.

Middle: He will coerce Delany to give him Cardenio and the manuscript if She finds them.

End: Delaney is at a crossroad: help Colin and have him killed or give Bragg the information without knowing what he plans to do with it.

EXT./ INT. TRAIN DAY

Essence:Colin and Delaney follow the clues to the mountains.

Fear: Does he realize someone is following them?

Conflict: Bragg confronts Delaney on a train.

Arc. Delaney sabotages Colin’s secret mission.

Beginning

Colin has no choice but to trust Delaney.

Middle

Bragg lurks on the train and waits for her to give him their plan.

ACT THREE

EXT. TOWN DAY

Essence: Colin follows clues in a small town.

Fear: Will they have been destroyed over the centuries?

Conflict: Delaney wants them for her own purposes.

Arc: Another enemy is added.

Delaney and Colin go to the cathedral for clues.

Beginning

An old priest seems helpful, but he turns on them when he learns what they want.

Middle

A young priest comes forward. He has seen Cardenio written on an old script, but much of it came from Don Quixote.

End:

Townspeople are proud of Cervantes, Don Quixote and resent Colin’s interrogations.

EXT. TOWN HALL DAY

Essence: People will not answer questions about “Don Quixote”.

Fear: They harbor old grievances about their beloved book.

Conflict: The young sends them to to the town archives.

INT. ARCHIVES – DAY

Essence: Colin discovers crypto.

Hope: Will his information lead to the lost play?

Subtext: An official hands them a copy of a scrap of play script, numbered 58, that many inquiries that year, mostly by email. It does exist somewhere in Spain.

Arc: They are getting closer.

EXT. TOWN BAR DAY

Essence: Townspeople threaten them.

Fear: Will they survive?

Subtext: Delaney feels guilty and sorry for Collin.

Arc: Bragg is becoming fed up with Delaney.

Beginning

In a bar they learn more about the manuscript and the old play.

Middle

Patrons are belligerent. Their hero is Cervantes, and they are indignant even today that Don Quixote is the source for Cardenio.

End

Delaney pulls Colin out before he gets too hurt.

EXT./INT. CATHEDRAL NIGHT

Essence: Colin believes there are icons and other clues.

Fear: They will be found searching.

Subtext: Clues they missed have more meaning.

Conflict: The old priest told them to stay away.

Arc: Colin is committed to this search.

Vespers are over. Colin and Delaney hide in the church. When no one remains but them, they search for hiding places in carvings and statuary for artifacts and clues.

Delaney finds pictures of three rings. She has them from her family and hides them, each one on a separate toe. Delaney insists she has no information for Bragg, yet. He threatens Colin’s safety. No one will find him if Bragg is a ruthless man.

EXT. CATHEDRAL – DAY

Essence: The opposition is strengthening.

Fear: The journey has more danger than they realized.

Conflict: Some people like Bragg will stop them from finding and returning the manuscript.

Subtext: Delaney struggles with her feelings about Colin and he dedication to find what they are looking for.

Arc: She will help Colin find it and then take it. They return to the cathedral.

Three men from the bar surround them. Colin and Delaney fight their way and escape.

EXT. TOWN HOTEL – NIGHT

Essence: The first attractive woman to be fond of Colin is Delaney but she doesn’t want to be attractive to him.

Hope: We hope she won’t betray him.

Subtext: She wants to validate her family’s ancestral authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.

Arc: She treats Colin with affection.

Beginning

Delaney has softened toward Colin. She dresses his cuts. Colin is comfortable with her. He admits he cares more about Delaney than Shakespeare’s legacy.

Middle

She promises to help, but afterwards she wants an equal playing field.

End

She has three rings but doesn’t share their importance with him.

EXT. MOUNTAIN RESORT DAY

Essence: Clues lead them to a mountain town.

Hope: No one seems to follow them there.

Subtext: Delaney makes excuses.

Conflict: Colin discovers Delaney hides information from him.

Arc: Colin loses the last bit of confidence in her.

Beginning

There are no rooms available. Ski season is late but the resort will be busy shortly.

Middle

When they have lunch, Delaney complains about her foot. Colin pulls off her boot before she can stop him. On each of three toes she has a ring.

The rings set in a pile have a spear design. Colin is furious about her stealing, which is against his principles.

End

Delaney tries to explain that they are hers.

EXT.INT. FAMILY CABIN – DAY

Essence: He wants to finish the investigation and go home.

Fear: Will he leave Delaney?

Conflict: Colin has to protect the manuscript. and prove worthy to these people.

Subtext: He has pages of Cardenio, probably authentic, in his hands.

Arc: His determination grows and he makes better headway.

Beginning

(Colin must earn this.) They rent a cabin.

Middle

She reveals that many of her ancestors have been related to kings, princes, and other royalty and men who may have authored the Shakespearean plays. She is related to Macbeth, and Duncan, Southampton, de Vere, the Nevilles and several monarchs from William the Conqueror to the present day Spencers, and the seventeen century ancestors may be the real authors. Their history means so much to her.

End

Colin argues with Delaney. They barely speak.

EXT. CABIN DAY

Essence: Delaney confesses she’s betraying him.

Hope: Now she can quit.

Conflict. Bragg won’t let her.

Arc: Delaney and Colin are in danger.

Beginning

She kisses him now that she approves of his good qualities. Delaney seduces Colin.

Subtext: She may have another trick planned.

Hope: We hope they can be true to each other.

Conflict: Whose side is Delaney on now? She knows what the professor has discovered, but she may die for it.

Arc: Colin gives up his mistrust for he has fallen in love with Delaney.

Beginning

Love scene when Delaney approaches Colin.

Middle

She makes a mistake.

End

Delaney steals the manuscript Colin has.

EXT./INT. CABIN DAY

Essence: Colin discovers Delaney has betrayed him to Bragg.

Fear: What will he do?

Conflict: Delaney has a chance to give Bragg the manuscript, but she doesn’t.

Arc. He has become a fighter.

Beginning

Colin goes for help, but Delaney has other plans.

Middle: She contacts Bragg. He confesses that he doesn’t care about Shakespeare’s legacy or about the new evidence about other authors, he wants to sell to the highest bidder.

End

Delaney pretends she doesn’t have it.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: After Delaney deceives Bragg, he kidnaps her.

Fear: She is in danger.

Subtext: The manuscript and play script have taken on greater importance.

Arc: No one is safe from the opposition.

Beginning

Bragg takes Delaney in a rented vehicle. After the car wrecks, they go on foot.

Middle: Bragg kidnaps Delaney

End: After Colin learns more from a contact, he returns and she is gone.

EXT. SPAIN – DAY

Essence: Colin is ready to abandon Delaney, but has a change of heart.

Hope/fear: Will he rescue her?

Conflict: It is Colin against Bragg.

Arc: The betrayer becomes the victim.

Beginning.

Delaney leaves Clues for Colin to reach her.

Middle:

Colin picks up Delaney’s trail.

End

He saves Delaney when they flee from Bragg.

EXT. RESORT GONDOLAS DAY

Essence: They aren’t free, yet.

Conflict: Bragg follows and attacks Colin at gondolas.

Hope/fear: Delaney will have a choice between her love for Colin and her loyalty to her quest for proof of ancestral authorship.

Fear/hope: What will they find at home if they can get back?

Subtext: Colin has a challenge, too, if his feelings for Delaney are strong enough to overcome his common sense.

Arc: Colin’s fighting nature has arrived.

Bragg pulls a gun.

Brag offers Colin’s life for the manuscripts.

Instead, Delaney unfastens the pages and throws them into the wind down the valley.

Bragg climbs out to retrieve pages that cling to the gondola.

Delaney urges Colin to kill Bragg.

Colin climbs out to save Bragg and manuscript. The gondola almost arrives at the station, as Bragg falls. Because of Colin he won’t fall a great distance. His fate is unknown.

ACT FOUR

EXT. HOSPITAL DAY

Essence: Changes back home surprise them. Professor speaks now.

Hope: Their college aspirations are dashed. Colin and Delaney’s failed mission hurts, but it draws them closer.

Conflict: Laurel has taken their places.

Subtext: Othello brings the rings to Delaney, a man steals them. They have lost much of what the professor wanted.

Arc: Colin and Delaney have both become sleuths and hooked on mysteries.

They visit Professor. Laurel has found her calling is caring for the ailing man. Professor is gaining movement and may recall much of his lost manuscript. He has lost his position because of he is not strong enough to fulfill his teaching duties or to address the controversy. Colin insists that no life is worth losing to save the manuscripts. The men and women involved are long dead, anyway.

Othello bursts in.

Colin shoves women behind him and prepares to fight.

Othello hands over blurred pages. He gives Colin a letter. Although Bragg is alive and is grateful Colin tried to save him, someone else is after the information. This controversy is far from over. (Or he brings in Bragg).

Professor agrees it should end. Still, there is much nobody knows about the lost plays.

EXT./INT. ADMINSTRATION BUILDING – DAY

Colin goes to find out why they put professor out to pasture and meets Delaney there. They sit outside and argue. She yells when a man steals her packages. Colin chases and tackles Hunter. He drags him into the ad building. Delaney follows and confronts the President. She has clout.

EXT. HOSPITAL – DAY

Laurel wheels professor out on the lawn. Colin informs him that Hunter has is the attacker.

Professor convinces Colin he should go back to Europe to track other lost plays.

INT. AIRPLANE DAY

Essence: Colin boards plane.

Hope: Colin won’t be alone.

Subtext: He is late for the boarding.

Conflict: He travels a different path from his old one.

Arc: No longer on the fence or non-confrontational.

On the plane Colin goes to his seat and it’s next to Delaney. She has clout.

The end

0

[Joe Donato]

<font face=”Courier New, monospace”><font size=”2″>My vision is to persevere and stay the course of building steady daily routine, and disciplines that produce consistent writing of exceptional quality. Ultimately, the fruit of those habits and disciplines will be a track record of great marketable scripts that will make other successful talented pros seek me out.</font></font>

<font face=”Courier New, monospace”><font size=”2″>What I learned: This was a tedious and meticulous process at times. I know Hal says not to stop, but I definitely needed to do this in shifts. It helped solve 2 or 3 major plot uncertainties though, and I can see how it made some scenes far more unique. I wonder if some of it is overkill, but I’m guessing I’ll figure that out as the process continues.</font></font>

<font face=”Courier New, monospace”><font size=”2″>Link to Joe’s Fascinating Scenes outline
</font></font>

[Erin Ziccarelli]

Erin Ziccarelli’s Fascinating Scenes

Vision: I am going to create profound scripts that leave audiences remembering my movies and leave me excited to keep writing and moving up in the industry.

What I learned from doing this assignment is: Breaking down the interest techniques into these four categories (big picture, character, twist, anticipation) is helping me to vary each scene to make sure the interest techniques aren’t repetitive. I’m hoping this will keep my reader captivated!

Alex winning the poker game to Alex leaving the room –
intrigue, uncomfortable moment, mystery (INT. SOUTH END CASINO – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing Alex is a young, invincible, and
promising member of the Donovan family to exposing some cracks in the
surface of his loyalty
Conflict: the South End families want every member of
the North End families destroyed. Alex is not completely on board –
opposition to the popular opinion.
Subtext: introducing Alex as the “winner” – he’s the
ace card, and the ace always wins. He wins the game, hinting that he will
be the winner of the “games” that the North End and South End play. He
will come out on top.
Hope/fear: we are hoping that Alex will be successful
in his endeavor. Fearing that he may fail or fall out of favor with the
South End families.

Nathanial Caden and Richard Brennan arguing over their
family dynasties to Nathanial pulling a gun on Richard and demanding he
leave – uncertainty – betrayal – suspense (INT. NATHANIAL’S OFFICE – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing the rivalry between leader of the
North End families and the want-to-be leader of the North End families
Conflict: struggle for power within the North End
families. They are divided. Richard challenges Nathanial’s leadership.
Subtext: the Boston rivalry runs deep. The vitriol
between the families is real, and dangerous. The North End is far less
united than the South End.
Hope/fear: we hope that Nathanial Caden (the gentler
of the two) will maintain his influence. We fear Richard Brennan taking
over and doing harm to the Donovans (especially Alex).

Alex and Kitty go from flirting with each other to
developing a sincere connection and realize they’re more similar than they
thought – surprise – uncertainty – character changes radically (INT.
KITTY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: introducing Alex and Kitty’s secret and
forbidden relationship (Romeo and Juliet love story) and Alex’s honest
view of the family feud.
Conflict: Alex and Kitty may love each other but are
still on “opposite sides” of the family feud. They’re trying to overcome
these differences. See each other in a different light.
Subtext: They’re from different sides and yet so
similar. Metaphor for the families – they’re all more similar than they’d
like to admit.
Hope/fear: we hope Alex and Kitty will make it. We
fear they will not overcome their differences. We fear the families
tearing them apart.

Kitty arrives at the porch and then runs to try to save
Alex – uncertainty – uncomfortable moment – reveal (EXT. CADEN HOUSE –
NIGHT)

Essence: Nathanial reveals that Richard Brennan will
earn his trust tonight, much to Kitty’s dismay.
Conflict: controversy between Kitty and her father.
She no longer believes in him or his mission. He’s starting to trust
Richard. She despises Richard.
Subtext: Kitty and Nathanial are both Cadens, but they
have different goals, desires, and plans for their futures. Shared last
name/family does not guarantee compatibility.
Hope/fear: Hope that Kitty will stand up to Nathanial.
Fear that he will find out about her and Alex.

Sequence of the Dunbar Operation, from Alex meeting
with the seller to getting arrested with Kitty watching – external dilemma
– suspense – cliffhanger (INT. BOAT CABIN – NIGHT, INT. BOAT DECK –
CONTINUOUS, EXT. BOSTON HARBOR – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex’s counterfeit deal gone wrong. He gives
himself up for the other members of the South End. Goes to prison
Conflict: North End v. South End. Alex v. himself.
Subtext: Alex is willing to go to prison for the
cause. He wants Patrick, Darren, and Collin to save themselves so the
whole South End won’t fall into ruin.
Hope/fear: We hope that they will all escape. We fear
Alex getting caught. When he does, we fear the aftermath. What will
happen to him?

Twenty years later, Nathanial Caden is on his deathbed.
He passes, leaving his estate to Alex Donovan – uncertainty – mystery –
surprise (INT. NATHANIAL’S BEDROOM – DAY, EXT. CADEN ESTATE – DAY)

Essence: Nathanial Caden’s death. Will and Demi’s
entrance into the story, as the social worker and Nathanial’s lawyer.
They are both stunned to learn that Nathanial has left his estate to
Alex.
Conflict: Confusion – why would a Caden leave money to
a Donovan? Was he coerced? Alex is in prison now. Will they be able to
get him the money?
Subtext: The North and South End feud is known to
Boston’s lawyers and social workers. The feud runs deep, and Demi and
Will are shocked to learn of the beneficiary.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex and Nathanial’s
connection will be explored. We fear Alex being in prison.

Alex unpacking to injecting himself with cocaine –
character changes radically – intrigue – surprise (INT. PRISON CELL – DAY)

Essence: introduce 40-year old Alex. He’s aged, tense,
and has developed a cocaine addiction. While the teenage Alex from the
opening scene was young, vibrant, and hopeful, the “new Alex” is the
opposite.
Conflict: Alex v. cocaine addiction, aloneness.
Subtext: Alex has not followed Shane’s advice – he is
beholden to his addiction. He has given up and lost hope. There is
nothing for him to live for.
Hope/fear: we fear the consequences of Alex’s
addiction. We hope the money will help him.

Alex arriving in the common area to being hauled out of
the common area after beating Ted up – uncomfortable moment – intrigue –
suspense (INT. COMMON AREA – DAY)

Essence: the feud between Alex and Ted has not died
down. They remember Dunbar like it was yesterday.
Conflict: Who will “win” the fight?
Subtext: The North and South End feud is alive and
well. Nothing’s changed in the past twenty years
Hope/fear: We hope Alex beats up Ted and doesn’t get
in trouble for it. He’s seriously injured Ted, and we’re afraid he’ll be
charged for it.

Roger arrives and meets Demi and Will, Roger gets rid
of them so he can talk to Alex alone – superior position – intrigue –
suspense (INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY, INT. OBSERVATION ROOM – DAY)

Essence: introduce the dynamic between Demi, Will, and
Roger, and the beginning of Roger’s mysterious connection to this case
Conflict: Alex v. Roger – can they “outwit” each
other?
Subtext: there’s something about this case for Roger.
He’s from Boston. Why is he so invested?
Hope/fear: We hope Roger will help Alex. We’re afraid
Alex may not get the money.

Roger and Alex start out staring at each other, not
speaking – Roger’s waiting for him to go into withdrawal. The sequence
ends with Alex rejecting the offer and walking off. Suspense – uncertainty
– internal dilemma (INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY, EXT. PRISON COURTYARD –
DAY, INT. PRISON HALLWAY – DAY)

Essence: Roger reveals the inheritance to Alex. Alex
angrily rejects the money and repeatedly states that he never knew
Nathanial Caden. The thought of being associated with a Caden is
repulsive to Alex.
Conflict: Alex v. his old ways – he refuses to leave
behind the life he’s chosen. Discord between Roger and Alex.
Subtext: the family feud – Roger is from the North,
trying to help Alex, from the South. If he knew, Alex would not be able
to accept that.
Hope/fear: We want Alex to take the money. He rejected
it. We fear him staying in his old ways.

Alex enters Ted Brennan’s room and witnesses his death –
superior position – mystery – reveal (INT. PATIENT ROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: Richard killed Kitty. Ted knew that Scarlett
is Alex’s daughter.
Conflict: ongoing feud between Ted and Alex – Alex
struggles to believe Ted even though Ted has no reason to lie in his last
moments.
Subtext: Kitty’s legacy lives on. Alex can’t believe
what Ted’s saying.
Hope/fear: We hope that Ted is telling the truth.
We’re afraid that Alex won’t act on this news. We want Alex to be
encouraged by the news.

Alex flipping through the Brennan file, then accepting
the money internal dilemma – uncertainty – character changes radically
(INT. PRISON ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICE – DAY)

Essence: Alex realizes Ted was telling the truth
Conflict: emotional – Alex struggling with his
feelings about this news. After recalling an old memory from his time
with Kitty, he decides to take the money.
Subtext: Alex is crossing the line for the first time
– he’s accepting help from a Caden.
Hope/fear: We hope that Alex will get to meet Scarlett
and turn over a new leaf. We fear him being disappointed.

Denial stage: Alex meeting Dr. Anderson to telling her
more about his life, while Roger and Dr. Reynolds watch – uncomfortable moment
– misinterpretation – internal dilemma (INT. THERAPY ROOM – DAY, INT.
FOYER – DAY)

Essence: Alex’s first steps of rehab, establish
emotional ethos (why Alex chose his life even when it’s caused him
problems/pain)
Conflict: Alex v. Dr. Anderson – they struggle to
understand each other. Roger v. Alex – Roger is confused as to why Alex
suddenly accepted the money.
Subtext: Roger knows Alex is hiding something. Alex’s
first step towards getting help, trying to do it alone.
Hope/fear: We want Alex to get better. We’re afraid
the doctors will expose his secret.

Anger stage: Alex’s biofeedback session, entering the
sixth hour to him going into convulsions – external dilemma – uncertainty –
cliffhanger (INT. BIOFEEDBACK ROOM – DAY)

Essence: Alex’s addiction treatment. He’s struggling with
cocaine withdrawal.
Conflict: Alex v. his addiction. He grows antagonistic
with Dr. Reynolds.
Subtext: He struggles with his past, his identity, and
his future. His twisted flashbacks show the confusion he’s experiencing.
Hope/fear: We’re afraid Alex will die at the end of
the scene. He’s in a great deal of physical, mental, and emotional pain.

Alex remembering an imagined conversation with Kitty to
him tearing up the room, declaring that he will get better for her – uncertainty
– character changes radically – major twist (EXT. CHARLES RIVER BRIDGE –
NIGHT, INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT)

Essence: Alex realizing that Kitty wanted him more
than he wanted her – he feels guilty for abandoning her.
Conflict: emotional – Alex v. the system, he was not
able to commit himself to her because of the family.
Subtext: Alex feels he has let Kitty down. He doesn’t
want to do the same to Scarlett.
Hope/fear: We are hoping Alex and Kitty will have a
happy ending (even though it’s impossible). We fear Alex turning on her.