Day 11 Assignment

[Daniel Melin]

Daniel Melin’s Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is how important it is to rely on the creative processes. This particular lesson, I leaned hard on simply comping up with 10 bad ideas to get the creative juices flowing, and at least not be stuck. It’s not the greatest feeling in the world when you’re going through it, but once you’re done, it really helps. I knew three or four of the creative processes from memory, but now I’ve printed them out and put them on the corkboard over my desk, so I have zero excuses not to have another trick to try when I’m stuck.

Teaser:

EXT. Forest—Night

Levi, Titania and her huntswoman are all on horseback, following a pack of three wolves, who are in turn chasing a deer with a large rack of antlers through the forest. The deer eventually disappears into a particularly dark and dense section of the forest, and the wolves lose the scent. Titania is enraged that they’ve lost their quarry, but Levi seems bored. He says that they’ve never had a chance of catching the deer anyway, and he begins to turn back the way they’ve come.

· Start: Levi, Titania, and her huntswoman all follow a pack of three wolves who are chasing a deer.

· Situation: This is exciting on the surface, but it is actually the same exact outcome that Levi has come to expect for the several years that he has been traveling there for.

· Conflict: Levi and Titania are trying to chase down the deer.

· Action: Levi simply turns around and starts to head out of the forest, while Titania and her huntswoman look concernedly back at him.

· Finish: Levi starts to ride, bored and dejected-looking out of the forest.

INT. Castle Hall—Night

Levi, Titania and the huntswoman all return to a magnificent castle, where music is playing and dancers fill the hall. Levi moves right past the dancers, however, and stares listlessly out the window at the forest.

Titania walks over and tries to convince Levi to rejoin the dance, but Levi wants to know why he can’t perform magic except in Everlasting Summer. Titania says that it’s dangerous out there, and that performing magic could attract unwanted attention to Everlasting Summer. Titania then says she will find Puck to cheer Levi up.

· Start: Levi, Titania and the huntswoman return to the castle to find the hall filled with dancers.

· Challenge: Like the hunt, the dance is just an empty celebration, and Levi doesn’t take joy in any of it.

· Conflict: Levi asks Titania why he can’t practice magic outside of Everlasting Summer.

· Action: Levi leaves the dance to stare out the window over the forest.

· Finish: Titania decides to go and find Puck to cheer them up.

INT. Castle Hall—Night

Titania leaves Levi at the window and goes over to the huntswoman who is conferring with two guards. Titania asks the huntswoman where Puck is. The huntswoman says that Puck is currently missing. Titania is clearly perturbed, though she says that she’s sure he’s just playing a prank. The huntswoman says that the guards tell her there has been no sign of Puck all night. Titania hands The huntswoman a key, and tells her to check the dungeons. He isn’t supposed to be down there, but maybe he found a way to sneak in. The huntswoman then takes the guards with her and leaves the hall to look for Puck.

· Start: Titania goes to ask the huntswoman why Puck hasn’t arrived.

· Challenge: One of the people Titania relies on most for keeping her castle jovial and entertaining isn’t around.

· Conflict: Titania asks the huntswoman if he has looked for Puck.

· Action: Titania sends the huntswoman to look in the dungeons and hands her a key.

· Finish: The huntswoman goes with the guards to hunt Puck down.

INT. Castle Hall—Night

Titania returns to Levi, who is still sitting, dejected by the window. Titania says that Puck can’t be found anywhere. Levi says that that is very unusual, but Titania distracts him from asking any more questions by grabbing one of the female dancers, and sending Levi with her out onto the dance floor. Levi reluctantly joins the dance.

Levi dutifully dances for a while as the music grows louder. Levi tries to excuse himself to sit back down but the music drowns out his attempts to do so. Finally an alarm breaks through the music, and Levi wakes up in his Minneapolis apartment.

· Start: Titania convinces Levi to dance.

· Challenge: Levi wants something real and valuable, but he is still stuck in this fake paradise.

· Conflict: Levi tries to excuse himself from the dance again.

· Action: The music seems to grow louder and louder.

· Finish: Levi wakes up back in his Minneapolis apartment.

Act 1:

EXT. Suburban House—Day

Levi drives up to a suburban house with a truck and trailer parked on the street out front. Miguel steps out of the truck as Levi starts walking towards the house. He tells Levi how glad he is that he finally agreed to quit his restaurant job and come work for him.

Miguel shows Levi into the house and introduces him to his other employee, Jorge. Miguel asks Levi if he’s painted professionally before and Levi says no. Miguel quickly shows Levi how he wants things done, and then tells him to ask Jorge any questions, while he steps outside on a phone call.

· Start: Levi is looking forward to working with Miguel.

· Challenge: Levi has been working a restaurant job for a while, and he hasn’t been used to physical work for several months.

· Conflict: Levi wants to know how to begin painting the room properly.

· Action: Jorge shows Levi how to paint the walls.

· Finish: Miguel has to step away to take a call.

INT. Suburban House—Day

Levi starts cutting in the corners of the room where he and Jorge are painting. Levi starts trying to chat up Jorge and ask him questions about the other jobs they have lined up, but Jorge only gives monosyllabic answers in return.

· Start: Levi is trying to get to know his new coworker.

· Challenge: Levi wants to know more about the job, but Jorge doesn’t say much.

· Conflict: Levi tries to ask Jorge about what the next job that they’re going for will entail.

· Action: Jorge starts hurriedly packing up his tools at the end of the day.

· Finish: Jorge is very noncommittal and doesn’t respond to Levi’s comments about working on future jobs together.

INT. Suburban House—Day

Miguel is outside, talking on the phone to one of his clients, who is giving him an excuse for why he can’t pay his rent. Jorge comes up to him and asks him if he’s had a chance to think about his offer. Miguel holds off and finishes his call, before turning to Jorge and telling him that while Jorge has improved a lot and has taken on a lot of responsibility, he still can’t justify making him a partner. Jorge says that he does almost as much work if not more than Miguel, and storms off the site.

· Start: Miguel is trying to talk to one of his tenants who has not been paying their rent.

· Challenge: Miguel values his status, and having Jorge attack him for not making him a partner irks him.

· Conflict: Jorge wants to know why Miguel hasn’t made him a partner in the company.

· Action: Jorge storms off site

· Finish: Miguel watches his most relied upon worker leave angrily.

INT. Kitchen Table—Night

Levi is at his parents’ house for Sunday dinner. Levi, his parents, Nathaniel and Catherine, and his sisters, Cathy and Lily. Everyone is quietly enjoying dinner until Catherine brings up that they haven’t visited Talia in a while. Levi stays conspicuously silent. Catherin continues to prod and says that she and Nathaniel are going this week if Levi would have the time to join them. Levi says that he’ll think about it, but he’s pretty busy with his new job and may not be able to make it.

· Start: Levi is having a quiet dinner with his family.

· Challenge: Levi’s parents want Levi to go visit his sister in the mental hospital.

· Conflict: Catherine and Nathaniel want to know why Levi’s doesn’t have time to visit his sister.

· Action: Levi says he is busy with his new job and too tired to go and visit his sister, but he plans on doing so when he has the time.

· Finish: Levi says he has to leave early in order to be ready for work the next morning.

EXT. Suburban House—Day

Levi shows up to work the next day, but notices that Jorge’s car isn’t there. Levi goes up to Miguel, who tells him that Jorge quit. The two of them go into the house, and then Miguel tells him how sloppy his work from the previous day is. He tells Levi that he will need to go over it again, and make sure to be more careful this time. He then asks Levi if he will be okay staying a little bit later, since it’s just the two of them. Levi acquiesces.

· Start: Levi comes into work, expecting to see Jorge.

· Challenge: Miguel now has one less worker, and he needs Levi to pick up the slack.

· Conflict: Miguel needs three more bedrooms painted by the end of the day.

· Action: Miguel makes Levi start the room he works on over again.

· Finish: Levi and Miguel end up working until 7 that night.

Act 2:

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night

Miguel and Levi step into Clarence’s Cigar Lounge and take a seat in one of the corners. Levi has brought his book bag into the shop with them, and Miguel notices a book on magic inside when Levi takes out his laptop to make a few notes about their work schedule next week. Miguel takes out the book and begins to tease Levi for having such a silly hobby.

Levi is clearly embarrassed and says that magic isn’t silly. Miguel goads Levi to prove to him that magic even exists. Levi hesitates for a second, and then looks around the room. When he is sure no one is looking, he makes a motion towards a small painting of a deer on the wall beside them, and says a few words, which cause the deer to start moving on the canvas. Levi then says another few words, and the deer seems to resist, but eventually, he settles back into his old position on the canvas. Miguel is clearly impressed, but then says that still asks Levi what practical use magic could have. Levi doesn’t have an answer.

· Start: Levi and Miguel want to unwind after a hard day of work.

· Challenge: Miguel starts teasing Levi when he finds out that Levi is interested in magic.

· Conflict: Miguel tries to convince Levi to prove to him that magic is real.

· Action: Levi animates a painting on the wall of the cigar lounge.

· Finish: Miguel is impressed that Levi actually can do magic, but is still skeptical of its usefulness.

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night

Later that night, a cop in Athens gets a call saying that there is a disturbance at Clarence’s. He drives over and hears crashing inside. He calls out for whoever’s inside to come out, but the crashing continues. He opens the door, and a deer rushes out from a back corner. The cop dodges out of the way, just as the deer crashes through one of the glass windows. What looks like a wild dog starts chasing after the deer, but then notices the cop. The dog snarls at the cop, and the cop raises his gun. When the dog attacks him, the cop shoots. The dog yelps, but apparently isn’t killed, and runs off.

· Start: A cop responds to a disturbance at Clarence’s Cigar Lounge.

· Challenge: The cop responds to a call, to find out that it is a deer caught in the shop with a wild dog.

· Conflict: The cop tries to get the animals out of the shop.

· Action: The dog attacks the cop, who shoots at the dog.

· Finish: The cop shoots at a wild dog, but the wounded dog runs off.

INT. Mental Hospital—Day

Nathaniel and Catherine show up at a mental hospital where a nurse shows them into the visiting room. Catherine asks how Talia has been doing, and the nurse says that she claims to have seen something the previous night, and that the doctors are thinking of adjusting her medications again.

Nathaniel and Catherine go over to a table where a young woman is sitting. The nurse tells Talia that her parents are here to see her. Talia groggily says hello and hugs her parents. Nathaniel and Catherine ask her how she is, and she says that she has been doing fine, but that she saw a strange man, completely naked outside on the grounds. Catherine and Nathaniel look uncomfortably at one another, but then go along with the story.

· Start: Nathaniel and Catherine are hoping to see signs that their daughter is doing better.

· Challenge: Nathaniel and Catherine have to see their daughter, whom they love, struggling with mental illness, and not appearing to be getting any better.

· Conflict: Talia wants to talk to Nathaniel and Catherine about the naked man who was outside her window the previous night.

· Action: Nathaniel and Catherine

· Finish: Nathaniel and Catherine think that Talia is hallucinating, and her meds may have to be adjusted.

EXT. Forest—Night

Levi is making his way through the forest, this time on foot and by himself. It is a darker part of the forest from the one he was riding through in the first scene. He casts a spell that creates a little orb of light in his hand, but the light seems to struggle, and Levi looks confusedly at the light, but eventually it manages to form itself more fully, but Levi still struggles to see the path in front of him as he makes his way through the trees.

Levi hears footsteps and sees a figure disappear behind one of the trees. Levi begins to run, but the figure soon starts to run alongside him. Levi keeps going, and eventually he reaches the tree line, where Titania and the huntswoman are waiting. Levi tells him that he was being followed, but when the three of them investigate the forest, they can’t find anyone.

· Start: Levi is making his way through the forest, which seems darker than usual.

· Challenge: The forest is darker than Levi is used to, and he sees just barely that someone is stalking him in the trees.

· Conflict: Levi tries to get out of the trees before the strange figure can catch up with him.

· Action: Levi casts a spell to light his way, but even that light seems dimmer than it normally does.

· Finish: Levi manages to get out of the forest and escape the strange figure stalking him through the trees.

EXT. Castle Grounds—Night

Titania brings Levi back to the castle of Everlasting Summer and immediately accuses him of disobeying her and performing magic outside of Everlasting Summer. Levi says that he only performed a simple illusion, but Titania says that he has put Everlasting Summer in danger and points to the sky. The moon, which is normally full every night in Everlasting Summer, has now started to wane. Titania tells Levi that he has opened a portal, which has caused Everlasting Summer to lose some of its magic, along with one of the wolves and the deer that they have been chasing, and that if he wants things to go back to the way they were, he will have to do something to close it.

· Start: Levi finds a distraught Titania coming out of the castle to greet him.

· Challenge: Titania accuses Levi of disobeying her and performing magic outside of Everlasting Summer.

· Conflict: Levi tries to explain that he didn’t intend for anything bad to happen.

· Action: Titania shows Levi how the moon has started to wane.

· Finish: Titania tells Levi that he will have to repair the portal that he created by accident.

Act 3:

EXT. Road—Day

Levi starts driving to work the next morning, his thoughts adrift, when he sees a sudden flash of movement on the side of the road. Levi stops and looks to see a deer in the road that bolts into the trees on the other side of the road. Levi gets out of his car and sneaks into the trees. He comes across the deer, whose back is now turned to him, and whose head is down, chewing the grass. Levi steps on a twig alerting the deer, whose head turns. Levi sees that the antlers are too small for it to be the deer that escaped Everlasting Summer, and he returns to his car.

· Start: Levi is driving into work, his mind elsewhere.

· Challenge: A deer runs out in the middle of the road.

· Conflict: Levi tries to see if it’s the deer that escaped from Everlasting Summer.

· Action: Levi sees that the deer is too small to be the one from Everlasting Summer.

· Finish: Levi starts to drive again, more carefully, and with greater attention to the road.

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day

Levi goes to Clarence’s with his bag, and a book that he plans to use for looking up spells when he sees the window boarded over, and a sign saying that the shop is temporarily closed. A strange man walks up and asks Levi if he heard about what happened. Levi says that he hasn’t heard and the stranger tells him about the events from the previous night. The stranger introduces himself as Mark, and looks at Levi’s book, asking him about it. Levi hides the book under his arm, and says he has to be going, and awkwardly walks away.

· Start: Levi wants to relax at Clarence’s with a book.

· Challenge: Levi finds out that his favorite spot to relax has been temporarily closed.

· Conflict: Levi asks the stranger what happened.

· Action: The stranger introduces himself as Mark, and looks strangely at Levi.

· Finish: Levi excuses himself and goes back home.

INT. Tower—Night

Titania and her huntswoman are in a tower in Everlasting Summer, watching the moon that has continued to wane. The huntswoman asks Titania if she trusts Levi, and Titania says that she can’t be sure. She tells the huntswoman that they have no choice but to start going into Athens. Titania tells the huntswoman that she will now have to start accompanying Levi on monthly hunts when the moon is full and their magic is at its strongest.

· Start: Titania and her huntswoman are talking about what to do about Levi.

· Challenge: Titania is now unsure that she will be able to control her prey now that it has escaped into Athens.

· Conflict: Titania convinces the huntswoman that as long as they conclude their hunt quickly, problems won’t arise.

· Action: Titania tells the huntswoman to keep a close eye on Levi.

· Finish: Titania instructs the huntswoman to keep an eye on Levi, and make sure that Levi catches the deer.

EXT. Castle Garden—Night

There is a knock on the door to the tower, and when the huntswoman opens it, Levi is on the other side. He tells Titania that the portal that he opened is in the shop, which is now closed, and he can’t get to it. Levi tells Titania that he will need her permission to use magic in Athens again. Titania agrees but that he will have to take the huntswoman along with him to make sure no complications arise. Levi agrees and assures Titania that he knows how to get in without them being seen.

· Start: Levi tells Titania that the portal is locked in Clarence’s and he can’t get to it.

· Challenge: Clarence’s is closed for the time being and the moon continues to wane in Everlasting Summer.

· Conflict: Levi asks Titania for permission to use magic again.

· Action: Levi says that he has found a spell to create a doorway into Clarence’s without being seen.

· Finish: Titania agrees to let Levi use magic to get into Clarence’s provided he takes the huntswoman along with him.

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night

Levi and the huntswoman are standing on the street outside of Clarence’s. Levi takes a scoop of sand from a bag and blows on it as he says some magic words. The sand sparks briefly and then scatters all over the street. Levi and the huntswoman then go across the street, and Levi carves a doorway with chalk in the boards over the window. The two of them step inside, and go to the back corner where the painting is supposed to be. When they get there, Levi sees a completely different painting of a jazz ensemble on a stage. The huntswoman asks him what is wrong, and Levi says that someone must have taken the painting.

· Start: Levi prepares to cast a spell that will keep him and the huntswoman from being seen.

· Challenge: Levi now has to use magic again, but under strict supervision.

· Conflict: Levi has to get into Clarence’s without alerting anyone.

· Action: Levi creates a doorway from the mirror in his apartment to a mirror in Clarence’s.

· Finish: The painting is missing.

INT. Levi’s Apartment—Night

Levi is sitting in his apartment when he hears a knock on the door. When he opens it, he sees the strange man from the previous day, who introduced himself as Mark. In front of Mark on the floor is a rectangular object with a sheet over it. Mark asks to come inside, and then shows Levi that he has the painting from the shop, but there is no longer a deer inside of it. Mark explains that he too is a magician, and that he is in grave danger unless he lets him help him. Levi refuses and tries to take the painting back, but Mark causes the painting to disappear, and says that he is going to keep a hold of the painting.

· Start: Levi hears a knock on the door.

· Challenge: Levi sees that Mark has the painting that he enchanted earlier.

· Conflict: Levi asks Mark why he took the painting.

· Action: Mark tells Levi that he is a magician as well.

· Finish: Mark invites Levi to study magic with him.

Act 4:

INT. Bar—Night

The following night, Levi and Miguel are out at the bar having drinks, and Miguel starts asking him questions about the shop closing and whether his magic had anything to do with that. Levi confesses that he did. Miguel then tells Levi that he had better figure out a way to fix it, and to stay away from magic. When Miguel goes to the bathroom Levi takes a potion out of his pocket and slips it into Miguel’s drink.

· Start: Levi and Miguel are having drinks after work.

· Challenge: Miguel starts asking questions about the events at Clarence’s.

· Conflict: Levi tries to convince Miguel that he didn’t have anything to do with what happened at Clarence’s.

· Action: Miguel tells Levi to be more careful with magic.

· Finish: Levi slips a potion into Miguel’s drink.

EXT. Suburban House—Day

The following morning, Levi shows up to work, and Miguel shows up looking not at all pleased. He says they have to talk about Levi’s painting. Levi nervously follows him into the house, and is somewhat relieved when Miguel angrily points out that the wall that he painted is still not up to the standards that he expects and tells Levi that he will have to repaint it AGAIN.

· Start: Levi goes in to work, wondering whether the potion has worked.

· Challenge: Miguel looks stern about something when Levi gets there.

· Conflict: Miguel lectures Levi on his painting again when he gets there.

· Action: Miguel says he wants to talk to Levi about his painting.

· Finish: Levi and Miguel start working as they have been for the past week.

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day

Levi is reading his book and taking notes in Clarence’s the following evening, when Mark shows up. Mark asks Levi if he has reconsidered his offer. Levi tells Mark that he needs his painting back. Mark then confesses to Levi that Titania is not what she seems. He then shows Levi a picture of a young man, and tells him that his son disappeared several years ago, and he believes that Titania enchanted him. He then offers to teach Levi magic.

· Start: Levi is back in Clarence’s which is open again.

· Challenge: Mark goes to Levi and tells him how dangerous Titania is.

· Conflict: Levi and Mark argue about whether he should stay with Titania or learn magic from him.

· Action: Mark shows Levi a picture of his son.

· Finish: Mark offers to teach Levi magic.

Act 5:

INT. Levi’s Apartment—Night

Later that night, Levi comes home to his apartment to find the huntswoman already waiting for him. She tells him that they will have to hunt only by the full moon every night. Levi wants to know why this is. The huntswoman explains that the reason the moon was full every night in Everlasting Summer was to preserve its magic, which relies on the moon. In Athens, they will be at the mercy of its cycles. The huntswoman tells Levi to be ready at the next full moon.

· Start: The huntswoman shows up at Levi’s apartment.

· Challenge: The huntswoman tells Levi that they will have to hunt in Athens now.

· Conflict: Levi wants to know if Titania is okay with this.

· Action: Levi looks at the waning moon.

· Finish: The huntswoman tells him to be ready at the next full moon.

EXT. Clarence’s—Night

A month later, it is the full moon again, and Levi and the huntswoman open a portal from Everlasting Summer to Athens, and Levi hurriedly closes it behind them once the two of them, and the two remaining hunting wolves they have are on the other side. Once Levi casts his sleeping spell with the sand again, the party tracks the deer to the grounds of a mental institution. Levi looks up and sees Talia looking out of a window at him. He hurriedly casts his sleeping spell again, and Talia retreats from the window. Levi turns to the huntress and calls off the hunt for the night.

· Start: Levi and the huntswoman wait for the wolves.

· Challenge: Levi has to make sure that the whole hunting party will not be seen by anyone in Athens.

· Conflict: Levi and the rest of the hunting party try to track down the deer.

· Action: Levi sees Talia in the window.

· Finish: The hunting party loses the trail of the deer at the mental institution where Talia stays.

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day

Levi is studying in Clarence’s. Mark walks in and Levi motions to him. Levi asks Mark how he knows so much about Titania. Mark says that ever since his son disappeared, he has learned everything he can about the fairy queen and has learned that she has enchanted many more people, and he will do anything he can to stop her. Levi says that he will work with Mark on the condition that he relinquish the painting and de-enchant it so the portal will close.

· Start: Mark walks into Clarence’s.

· Challenge: Mark asks Levi if he’s reconsidered his offer.

· Conflict: Levi asks Mark how he knows so much about Titania.

· Action: Levi offers his hand to Mark.

· Finish: Levi agrees to work with Mark.

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel Sullivan’s Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is that each scene must be carefully crafted to move the story forward. The first and second pass sequence items help with writing the most engaging scenes.

[Barbara Gilmore]

So I think i’m on the right track here…I focused on my Teaser…

What I learned was that I enjoyed deconstructing the scenes and picking holes in them are they intriguing enough…

Audio is asking for Intrigue and the handout is asking for

• Start:

• Challenging Situation:

• Conflict:

• Action:

• Finish:

So I need to add some things in but for now…

TEASER

Essence of scenes 1 through 7 (the teaser) or the Intriguing core is to introduce the main mystery of the series and to introduce the three characters murdered or disappeared.

1 EXT. REMOTE HIGHWAY – DUSK

CAPTION: Present Day

A dark-blue PICK-UP TRUCK travels along a remote single-lane highway bounded by dense forest.

Intriguing Core is to capture the world and introduce the truck belonging to 2 murder victims.

Open Loop: Will we find out who this truck is being driven by.

Mystery: Who is driving this truck.

Empathy/Distress: N/A.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Truck that belongs to the murdered couple.

2 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK

Two men (Steve Beresford and Luke Smith) and a woman (Anna Cole) travelling in a pickup truck. The male passenger in the front seat (Luke Smith) wants to pull over to go to the washroom. The male driver (Steve Beresford) protests. Luke grabs the wheel and pulls them onto a dirt track road. Steve and Luke almost fight. Female rear passenger (Anna Cole) calms things down.

Intriguing Core is to introduce three characters who by the end of the teaser have been murdered or disappeared.

Open Loop: Will we find out the true nature of each relationship: Steve and Anna; Anna and Luke; Luke and Steve.

Mystery: Where have they driven from and where are they driving to.

Empathy/Distress: Luke needs to pee.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: ?

STEVE BERESFORD (34) is driving. LUKE SMITH (32) sits in the passenger seat. At first glance they seem like a married couple with their matching plaid shirts, hipster haircuts, and skinny jeans.

But Steve reaches behind and ANNA COLE (29), sitting in the back seat, punk goth, grabs his hand, caresses and kisses it, then lets it go.

Luke, jealous, throws Steve a look, Steve glances at Luke, purses his lips.

The pick-up’s headlights illuminate a ROAD SIGN “Bear Creek Rest Area and Trailhead 50m on the left”.

LUKE

Pull over. I gotta pee.

STEVE

Suck it up, man. We’re twenty minutes away.

Anna starts singing.

ANNA

Luke’s gotta pee. Luke’s gotta pee.

Luke leans over, grabs the wheel, and hangs a hard left. Steve hits the brakes as the pick-up leaves the highway and SKIDS along a single dirt track.

Steve angrily pushes Luke’s hand away from the steering wheel.

STEVE

Don’t do that again, buddy.

Luke gives him the finger.

3 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – DIRT ROAD – DUSK

The pick-up kicks up dust as it bounces over the dirt track.

Intriguing Core is to show how dry the soil is, how remote, rough the terrain is.

Open Loop: Will we find out why the soil is so dry.

Mystery: N/A.

Empathy/Distress: N/A.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Why is the soil so dry? (Payoff we’ll find out that Green Lake is experiencing a drought).

4 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK

Nature protecting itself from humans. Anna protecting herself from nature.

Anna grabs on to an overhead handle as she peers out at the dense overhanging branches as they SCRATCH and SCRAPE at the

pick-up’s doors and windows.

Intriguing Core is to show how easily humans and their cars invade nature and how nature protects itself.

Open Loop: Will we find out why the soil is so dry.

Mystery: N/A.

Empathy/Distress: Characters are driving to a remote washroom at dusk.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Will something bad happen to Luke, Steve, and Anna.

5 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK

Luke exits the truck. Walks into human garbage. Is angry. Humans have damaged nature. The local wildlife are watching him.

Intriguing Core is why the emergency to stop at this Trail Head washroom.

Open Loop: Why are the wildlife watching them?

Mystery: Will we find out why they stopped here?

Empathy/Distress: Sometimes you just gotta go.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Junk food has poisoned the birds and animal population, but is there more to it?

The pick-up SLIDES to a halt.

Luke gets out, SLAMS the door, and walks straight into a PILE of JUNKFOOD WRAPPERS and SODA CARTONS. He kicks at them. Some

fly into the air.

LUKE

Human fuckers.

He jogs to the OUTHOUSE.

A bird SCREETCHES from the forest.

Luke looks around and spots a BALD EAGLE perched at the very top of a tall Ponderosa Pine. The eagle SWOOPS DOWN and across the car park towards him.

Luke quickly opens the outhouse door and SLAMS it shut. The eagle pulls up and lands on a nearby tree, eyes fixated on the outhouse.

6 INT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – OUTHOUSE – DUSK

Luke enters the outhouse. He’s afraid. Has a phobia about the monster in the toilet. Is he on drugs or is he sick?

Luke locks the door behind him. He tears off some toilet paper, and carefully wipes the toilet seat, lifts it up, wipes the rim, then drops the seat.

Perspiring heavily, he grabs more toilet paper and wipes his forehead. He stoops over in pain, nervously pulling on his nose, as he stares into the darkness of the chemical pit and listens (for the imaginary monster DOWN THERE).

Intriguing Core is why would they stop at this Trail Head washroom.

Open Loop: Will we find out why they stopped here?

Mystery: Is Luke sick or on drugs?

Empathy/Distress: Everyone fears the monster in the Outhouse toilet that comes out after sundown.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Junk food has poisoned the birds and animal population, but is there more to it?

LUKE

(quietly to self)

Go on show yourself..

IN THE BACKGROUND: Punk rock music BLASTS from the pick-up.

LUKE (CONT’D)

Okay..

(exhales)

There’s nothing there..

Luke takes the plunge and sits on the toilet seat. Diarrhea SPLASHES and PLOPS into the bowels of the pit. His right hand shakes as he tears off another handful of toilet paper and wipes himself. Finished, he stands up.

LUKE (CONT’D)

(quietly to self)

Fuck…

He pushes the DISPENSER and rubs the liquid soap into his hands. He pulls out a RED HANDKERCHIEF and dries his hands.

7 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK

Luke exits the outhouse. He’s happy. The birds block his path back to the truck. He hears their agitation then silence. He calls out to Steve and Anna. He soon sees that they’ve been attacked and are dead. A shadow of a figure flits behind him.

IN THE BACKGROUND: Punk rock MUSIC from the pick-up.

The outhouse door opens and Luke exits. He pulls on a set of earbuds attached to the cellphone in his pocket and pushes up the VOLUME, mouths and head bangs on his way back to the pickup.

THREE RAVENS suddenly land in front of him, defiant, blocking his path. He STOPS, pulls off his headphones, and is met with the overwhelming sound of SHRILL birds.

He looks up at the surrounding trees: HUNDREDS of RAVENS have gathered, the BALD EAGLE hops to a closer vantage point, ready to swoop down.

He notices that all four doors of the pick-up are wide open and there’s a pool of blood on the ground next to the driver’s door. The MUSIC is still playing.

Luke, slowly spins around eyes searching the outhouse to the forest, and the outhouse to the car park, and back to the pick-up.

Intriguing Core why are the birds acting in a weird way; what’s happened to Steve and Anna?

Open Loop: Why are the birds acting like this?

Mystery: Who killed Anna and Steve? Who is the shadowy figure?

Empathy/Distress: Luke is afraid the birds will attack him; Luke comes across the murder scene: his friends are dead.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Crazy animal behaviour.

LUKE

(shouts)

Steve..Anna..

The MUSIC from the pickup STOPS.

THE RAVENS fall SILENT.

FOOTSTEPS near the pick-up.

Luke, listens, eyes searching the truck and the forest beyond.

LUKE (CONT’D)

Anna….Steve…

THE RAVENS start CALLING again.

As Luke moves closer to the truck Steve comes into full view. He’s lying on his back across the driver’s seat, face up, head hanging off the edge, blood dripping from head and neck wounds forms a large pool of blood on the tarmac. His legs splayed across the passenger seat, his jeans ripped, legs cut and bleeding.

Luke, stunned, gets closer…

LUKE (CONT’D)

Oh shit..Steve?

A SHADOW FLITS behind Luke.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Barbara Gilmore.

[Sherri Coffee]

Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 11 Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is by answering the questions for each scene, I am able to really evaluate the purpose of the scene. Does it provide a challenging situation, a conflict, or an action. Based on this lesson, I reworked the beats for my teaser and am rethinking the remaining acts. Listed below is the rework.

A Story: Past life journey to unravel secrets and unfinished business.

B Story: Family relationships and romantic relationships.

C Story: Politicians, financiers, lobbyists, media, and theatre.

TEASER

EXT. Brooklyn Train Station 1884 – DAY

Grace arrives by train and is escorted to her home in Brooklyn. She learns from her mother that her stepfather is dying. Fear grips them when his son arrives and confronts his father about the will.

Start: Grace returns by train to her home in Brooklyn.

Situation: Her stepfather is dying.

Conflict: How will Grace and her mother survive once her stepfather is gone?

Action: The son arrives to speak to the father and finds his will leaving most of the money to his stepmother Mary.

Finish: He confronts his father.

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY

The somber household receives a welcome guest. Mr. Daly is a theatre producer and has seen Grace act in the Boston Theatre Group. Grace and her mother try to keep the condition of her stepfather a secret but a visit from his son disrupts the plan. Loud voices are heard above the parlor as Mr. Daly extends an offer to join his theatre ensemble to Grace. The voices become louder. Her stepfather on opiates is loudly arguing with his son over his will. Grace’s mother breaks society rules and leaves her daughter. She walks into the room to see the son toss the will into the fire.

Situation: Grace receives Mr. Daly from Daly’s Theatre.

Challenging Situation: Grace does not want Mr. Daly to know how desperate she is to obtain a place in his theatre ensemble group. Her stepfather is on opiates and loudly yells from upstairs.

Conflict: Her stepfather is arguing with his son over his will. The son has found the will and is unhappy that his stepmother is getting any money! Her mother is by her side and tries to minimize the situation by continuing the polite conversation.

Action: Stepfather high on opiates yells for Mary to come quickly. She struggles to break society rules by leaving Grace alone with Mr. Daly.

Finish: When she enters the room, the son tosses the will into the fire.

INT. Brooklyn Home – NIGHT

Mary and Grace frantically search the house for another copy of the will. Her husband is high on opiates and of no help. They must find another copy before he dies. After an exhausting search lasting through the night, they return to Mr. Steele’s bedroom to find him dead.

Start: Mary and Grace search the house for another copy of the will.

Challenging Situation: The former Brooklyn Politician is high on opiates and is delirious.

Conflict: Mary and Grace cannot find the will and run out of time.

Action: Mr. Steele slips into death and they continue to search for the will.

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY

Mary and Grace have not found the will and the son is at the door. They do not want him to know he is dead. They finally must allow him in the room and acknowledge the death. The son produces a 2 page handwritten will with his father’s signature.

Start: Mary and Grace cannot find the will.

Challenging Situation: The son is at the door, and they do not want him to know he is dead.

Conflict: The son arrives and wants to see his father.

Action: Mary and Grace must let him in the room and acknowledge his death.

Finish: The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature.

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY

Mary ad Grace stare at the Auction sign in their home. They must leave and move to Manhattan to begin a new life. With meager resources to last until Grace starts on stage, they enter into the very simple and small Manhattan flat.

Start: Mary and Grace stand outside their former home and stare at the Auction sign in the window.

Challenging Situation: They must leave their home and belongings and move to Manhattan. The son produces the handwritten will that leaves everything to him.

Conflict: They worry about resources and must get by until Grace starts with the Daly company in 6 weeks.

Action: They say goodbye to people they love and board the train to a new life.

Finish: They arrive at the very simple and small flat.

INT. Daly’s Theatre – DAY

Grace arrives on her first day of rehearsals with the Daly Company. She is shy and is immediately tested by Mr. Daly. He demands perfection, never sleeps, and works the ensemble long hours to prepare for opening night.

Start: Grace arrives for rehearsals.

Challenging Situation: She is new to the company.

Conflict: Mr. Daly is very demanding.

Action: She must rehearse in the morning, afternoon, and after the play closes for the night in preparation for opening night of the show.

Finish: Opening night

INT. Daly’s Theatre – NIGHT

Society classes enter the theatre and the play begins. Grace forgets her lines and finally recovers. Instead of the blunder being shunned, the mistake endears her to the audience and they give her a standing ovation. But Mr. Daly thinks the cheers are for his star. When the audience screams her name, Grace has no choice but to go to the curtain. Half dressed with shawl over her shoulder, she peeks from behind the curtain, thanks the patrons, and looks up to see Sam in the proscenium box.

Start: Patrons enter the theatre through the lobby and other select patrons enter in a private door to reach box seats.

Challenging Situation: The play begins and in the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She goes to each person and finally recovers.

Conflict: The curtain closes and instead of noting Grace’s forgetfulness, they praise her performance. The audience yells her name to return. She sits terrified in her dressing room looking at the list of Daly’s rules.

Action: The stage manager comes to get her, and she grabs a shawl over her shoulder. She peeks behind the stage curtain and curtseys to the applause.

Finish: She looks up to see Sam sitting next to a man in the proscenium box seat.

INT. Psychic Office – DAY

A psychic guides Grace back from her past life but she does not want to return. The psychic tries to coax her back and finally resorts to loud claps to hasten her return. Grace recognizes Sam.

Start: The psychic guides Grace back from her past life.

Challenging Situation: She does not want to return.

Conflict: The psychic gently reminds her of her life here and now.

Action: The psychic claps her hands and Grace awakes.

Finish: Grace recognizes Sam.

INT. Grace bedroom – NIGHT

Grace gets dressed for formal fundraiser and tells Sam about the psychic visit. He is skeptical but secretly wonders if the psychic would help with his medical condition. He tries to hide the physical pain but Grace notices. He changes the topic by adding a diamond necklace to her neck to complete the dress.

Start: Grace gets dressed in formal attire as Sam asks about her day.

Challenging situation: Sam tries to hide his physical pain. Grace can see the disease has gotten worse.

Conflict: Sam does not believe in psychics; he is a medical doctor. He does not want to discuss his condition.

Action: Sam changes the conversation and produces a beautiful diamond necklace to complete Grace dress.

Finish: They arrive at the fundraiser just as a politician’s indictment comes across the phone.

INT. Fundraiser – NIGHT

Grace searches her phone for any updates on the indictment. The fundraiser is for the indicted politician and she must decide if she wants to leave the check. She pulls a political operative Wilson aside and asks for inside information. He only knows the rumors of a sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Someone comes and grabs Grace. Sam has fallen unconscious.

Start: Grace searches her phone for news on the indictment.

Challenging situation: the fundraiser is for the indicted politician.

Conflict: Should Grace leave the check?

Action: Grace sees Wilson and pulls him aside to question on the indictment. She decides to hold the check. Rumors of sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Lady comes and grabs Grace by the arm.

Finish: Sam has collapsed outside the ballroom.

INT. Hospital room – DAY

Sam is in a coma. His cancer has spread and his condition is grave. As Grace sits by his side hoping for a miracle, a man arrives. He is Sam’s estranged son and he intends to take over his father’s affairs. Grace meets Wilson and hires him to investigate. Carlton continues his plan to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.

Start: Sam is in a coma.

Challenging Situation: His condition is grave.

Conflict: His estranged son Carlton arrives. Grace does not know him but recognizes him from a financial show.

Action: Grace leaves and meets with Wilson. Asks him to investigate Carlton.

Finish: Carlton works to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown’s Scene requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is this outline makes it super easy to see things that need attention and change them with little attachment.

Renee Brown’s Aliens’ Earth

Teaser:

INT. Skyflier Cloud Citadel – Control Room – Night

Sister is having a tryst with the control room officer. He is showing off- uncloaking and cloaking satellites – messing with humans. She starts messing with the controls – reaches for one button- officer stops her. Tells her that’s the Planet X cloak. In their passions, she leans on control panel and unknowingly presses the Planet X cloak off. They fly to the room’s upper deck to get it on when Anauk comes in, sees Planet X uncloaked, flies to the panel and re-cloaks it. Dauntus storms in furious. Accuses Anauk of ruining everything. Beats Anauk badly. Breaks his wing. Sister watches horrified from the upper deck and prevents officer from interfering. Dauntus about to break his son’s other wing when he suddenly stops. Considers, drops Anauk and marches to the viewer. Studies Planet X. Declares its time. Leaves Anauk bleeding on the floor.

Start: Anauk’s sister accidently uncloaks Planet X

Challenging Situation: She is still in the room when Anauk enters and sees uncloaked planet. She sees it at the same time – realizes what she has done.

Conflict: Dauntus blames Anauk with no inquiry.

Action: Dauntus beats Anauk within an inch of his life. Breaks his wing.

Finish: Dauntus leaves Anauk on the floor bleeding. Declares it is time.

ACT 1:

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN – NIGHT

Intro Tallas. Teaching young initiates. They start asking pointed questions about the “newly discovered” prophecy pages. Tallas is dodgy because he has faked these “newly discovered” pages. One little girl stands and says she believes Tallas is hiding something from them. Tallas discounts her – tells her that she needs some more work on her telepathic skills before she can read the likes of him. Only thing is…. she’s right on the money. Tallas is cavalier. Shuts down the lesson. All the initiates banter off. But Miriam (little girl) stands stoic. Watches Tallas march to his water gazing cave. The high priest follows Tallas in and turns at the entry—shoos Miriam off. She turns to go—reluctantly.

Start: Tallas is teaching initiates

Challenging Situation: They start asking pointed questions about the “newly discovered” prophecy pages.

Conflict: Tallas is dodgy because he has faked these “newly discovered” pages.

Action: Little girl accuses him of hiding something, Tallas discounts her telepathic skills.

Finish: Tallas shuts down the lesson and retreats.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE

High priest follows Tallas in. Tallas says he hates lying to the little ones – it sets up confusion in their minds. Tallas retrieves scroll from a hidden place. Tallas and priest stand over table with forged scroll laid out. Tallas complains about petty things: out of ink, making them look old is hard, running out of new places to “find” them. Priest tries to read Tallas. Tallas, surprised blocks him. – not without my permission. Priest teases – tell Miriam that. Priest tells Tallas to write in a description of himself in this one. He’ll declare Tallas the modern Longhead profit and wise man – no more scrolls necessary. Tallas is stunned / conflicted / horrified. Priest challenges Tallas to become what his people need – start with a water gazing session. Priest leaves – Tells Tallas he will close the ouroboros stone – he will not be disturbed.

Start: High priest follows Tallas in

Challenging Situation: Tallas is disillusioned/ shaken by Miriam’s probes.

Conflict: He hates forging these prophecies/ Priest wants to declare him the modern prophet.

Action: Tallas challenges Priests’ beliefs / Priest challenges Tallas to find out for himself.

Finish: Priest locks him in the chamber to “get his head right”

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN – ENTRY TO WATER GAZING CAVE

Priest enters to see the initiates gathered in a group. They all snap to when he comes out. Priest reminds them of their duties. Tells them Tallas is in isolation. The initiates leave the cavern in a high school like group. Glow globes trailing behind them. Miriam remains. Staring the priest down. Fearless. Priest kneels before her, teases her. Matter of fact like, Miriam tells Priest he is hiding something too. That it keeps them apart. Priest tells Miriam they all must have private worlds and developing these private worlds is the only way to come together as powerful individuals to form the united whole etc. Miriam in unaffected by his sermon. She turns and leaves.

Start: Priest exits Water Gazing room

Challenging Situation: The initiates are hanging around waiting for prophecy news.

Conflict: Miriam won’t leave after they all go.

Action: Priest lectures her, she says that he is hiding something too.

Finish: Priest says we all must have our private worlds.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE

Tallas watches the ouroboros stone slam shut. Turns to his desk. Frustration builds for a beat then he grabs the prophecy, crumples it up and throws it into the fire. Then he rescues the paper and smooths it out…. whipping away the ash. Tells himself that it looks old now.

Start: Tallas staring at his desk.

Conflict: Tallas distains the fake prophecy he has written.

Action: crumples the pages, throws them into the fire.

Then rescues them from the fire.

Challenging Situation: He’ll just have to redo it.

Finish: Says it looks old now…

ACT 2:

INT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL – LAUNCH DECK – NIGHT

Anauk stumbles into the launch deck – in obvious pain – holding his broken wing strapped. The other Skyfliers tease him. He heads straight for his cruiser. Tries to tap his wrist control. Can’t manage and still hold his wing. Drops his wing, drags it behind him. The fellow fliers stop in their tracks. Dart horrified glances, then run to help him. They get him in the ship, one of them wants to come with. Anauk declines. Tells him go keep (sister) safe. Get her away from that idiot (com. Officer) then takes off.

Start: Anauk stumbles to his cruiser. Broken wing dragging behind him.

Conflict: The cocky Skyfliers tease him.

Challenging Situation: He can’t hold his broken wing and get in his ship.

Action: He lets his wing fall. It drags behind him. they stop teasing, help him into ship.

Finish: Anauk takes off.

EXT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL

Anauk’s cruiser flies away.

INT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL – THRONE HALL

Dauntus is told Anauk has flown off. Dauntus orders Anauk to be shot down.

Sister pleads/ yells. Dauntus rolls his eyes at his daughter and issues an alt. order to kill Anauk’s communications.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

Anauk hails Tallas. An initiate comes online and tells Anauk that Tallas is in seclusion. Anauk insists. Anauk curses and hails Saltar, but before he can send the hail, his coms go down.

INT. TALLAS’ TEMPLE CAVERN

Initiate tells Anauk that the ouroboros stone has been sealed. It cannot be re-opened for 3 hours.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

Anauk curses and hails Saltar. But before he can send the hail, his coms go down.

He changes course and heads out to sea.

Start: Flies away – Tries to hail Tallas

Conflict: Dauntus contemplates shooting him down – settles on cutting his coms.

Challenging Situation: Anauk can’t reach Tallas.

Initiate says Tallas is in seclusion. / Dauntus cuts his coms.

Action: Anauk heads to ocean

Finish: Anauk’s cruiser reaches ocean

EXT. OCEAN – DAWN

Anauk’s cruiser skims the waves then dives deep.

INT. DEEP SEA – DEEPER PALACE – ESTABLISHING

As Anauk’s cruiser approaches, a shield raises around the palace.

INT. DEEPER PALACE – SALTAR’S CHAMBERS

Intro Saltar. She is informed Planet X has been uncloaked and Anauk is outside.

EXT. DEEP SEA

Anauk uses his cruiser to bump at Saltar’s chamber window.

INT. DEEPER PALACE – SALTAR’S CHAMBERS

Saltar signals him in – cool Deeper bio tech intro.

Start: Anauk’s cruiser dives into ocean

Challenging situation: Has no way to tell Deepers he is coming.

Conflict: Deepers won’t let him in the front

Action: Cruises around to Saltar’s private quarters.

Finish: Bumps on the glass – she lets him in.

INT. SALTAR’S PRIVATE SEA BALCONY

Anauk collapses his ship into a palm sized puck – cool Skyflier tech intro. Anauk is in great pain. Saltar sees he is injured. Puts bio bandage on. – cool deeper tech intro. They have an urgent conversation about Dauntus and reaching Tallas. Saltar says she can get to him. Everyone’s like… um? Really. Establish Tallas hates Saltar. Saltar knows a way, Anauk can’t go – the way is too narrow for him and his ship

EXT. DEEPER PALACE

Saltar swims out. Establishing shape shifting / camouflage capabilities – mermaid like.

Anauk makes his puck back into his cruiser and flies it through the bio shield – out into the ocean.

EXT. OCEAN – DAY

Anauk’s cruiser bursts out of the waves. He heads toward land.

At least he knows the way into Tallas’ underground world, if not his private gazing room.

Start: Anauk enters Saltar’s chambers.

Challenging situation: He’s in pain….

Conflict: Going to Saltar to get to Tallas even though he knows they are enemies.

Saltar knows how to get to Tallas but that’s a secret.

Action: Saltar says she can get to him

Finish: They both set out.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE

Tallas is in trance. Sees in water – humanity’s chaos and uncloaked Planet X.

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN

Anauk arrives, pucks his ship, and plants himself at the ouroboros stone.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE

Saltar arrives in cave via water. She stalls for a bit to get a meaningful look at Tallas. Camouflaged, she gazes into the water next to him. Tallas’ Vision is interrupted by images of the Starfinder ship being destroyed by Deepers long ago. Saltar can’t help herself – says it wasn’t the Deepers just at the moment Tallas eye searches for the presence he feels around him. Kung foo – ish fight! The fight turns hot. Establish attraction between these sworn enemies. Saltar ends fight by telling Tallas about Dauntus’ coup.

ACT 3:

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN

The ouroboros stone rolls back. Tallas, Saltar and Anauk together. The gathered initiates gape.

Start: Tallas is water gazing

Challenging situation: Saltar arrives to help but is in the belly of the beast and unannounced.

Conflict: Saltar sees Tallas’ vision of the Starfinder being destroyed. Starts fight.

Action: They have epic MA fight. – turns hot. – Saltar sees fake prophecy?

Finish: Saltar tells him about Dauntus, they break / roll back ouroboros stone – joins Anauk.

INT. ELEVATOR CAVERN

Tallas, Saltar and Anauk load up in the elevator. There is only one button. Tallas pushes it. The elevator, old school in appearances, shoots up at a phenomenal speed. Tallas and Saltar throw looks at each other. Anauk sees the exchange and raises his brow. Tallas flashes his eyes at Anauk. Anauk raise his hands in mock surrender.

INT. STEELMAN HQ – STEELMAN’S HOME (MODEST 1970’S RANCH) – BASEMENT

Basement is 5 times bigger than house above. Wall 30’ high with monitor like images. On the monitors – Humanity, Chaos, Planet X, a row of monitors with other alien Liaisons – yelling.

The XUS monitors are blank. Steelman and his partner watch.

A concealed door (elevator) opens. Tallas, Saltar and Anauk unload. Steelman turns the other alien liaison monitors off then points to Planet X and demands explanation. Exposition: They don’t know exactly. The Skyfliers cloaked it, but Planet X has its own com cloak too. Tallas can’t get through with his telepathy though he can feel a presence. The XUS wants it cloaked until they know what it is. They reveal Dauntus plan to Steelman. Just as Steelman starts to ask …

Everything goes black. Only thing glowing is Anauk’s wrist band.

EXT. PARK – DAY

People. Cell phones going dark.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Family watching TV. The TV goes dark. The kid fiddles with the remote.

EXT. TIMES SQUARE

Everything goes dark.

INT. STEELMAN HQ

Dauntus’ face flashes on all the screens.

EXT. PARK – DAY

His face and voice on all the phones.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Dauntus addresses humanity

EXT. TIMES SQUARE

Dauntus declares world domination.

Start: T,S and A go to Steelman

Challenging situation: Steelman is watching the chaos on the screens. Steelman doesn’t know what Planet X is…

Conflict: Other agents don’t know Steelman’s alliances.

Action: turns off agent screens.

Finish: Dauntus turns it all off then declares world domination.

ACT 4:

INT. STEELMAN HQ

Steelman sends his man to Whitehouse with POTUS brief – a fabricated intel report / cover up designed to keep the president in the dark. Then Steelman leads Tallas, Saltar and Anauk up and out of his ranch house. He grabs bottles of water on the way and tosses them to Saltar. She dumps one over her head. Anauk retrieves his collapsed ship puck and maxes out his cruiser to fit them all. They are going to stop Dauntus.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

They are all crammed in… heading to Dauntus’ citadel. Anauk glances at the puddle Saltar has made on the floor. Saltar shrugs. Opens another bottle and drizzles it over her head.

Start: Steelman sends his man to hand POTUS the coverup

Challenge: Needs to get to Dauntus to handle him while getting to President to handle HIM.

Conflict: Go alone to Dauntus or take everyone?

Action: Tells Anauk to max out his cruiser’s size and they all pile in.

Finish: Anauk’s cruiser heads to Skyflier palace.

INT. SKYFLIER CITADEL – SKY DOCK CONTROL ROOM

Anauk’s sister sees Anauk’s cruiser approaching. One of the officers make a comment on how big his cruiser is…sister covers by saying her brother probably wants to stretch his wings. She keeps the guards from sounding alarm, all the while suspecting Anauk has brought company. Sister helps them get to throne room.

INT. SKYFLIER THRONE ROOM

Steelman marches in with Tallas, Saltar, Anauk and Sister trailing. Throne room guards engage. Alien standoff. Right when its about to get messy, Steelman talks Dauntus down with recalling when they were friends. On the screen – a summons comes in from XUS- like parents to obstinate children.

Start: Anauk’s cruiser approaches the Palace. Sister helps them get to the throne room

Challenge: Dauntus is out of his mind. Steelman needs to bring him down or take him out.

Conflict: Steelman and Dauntus used to be allies. Now adversaries.

Action: Alien standoff

Finish: XUS summons them to dark side of the moon – Stops fight

ACT 5:

INT. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON – XUS FLOOR

The Skyflier delegate humiliates and shames Dauntus for his foolish actions.

Deeper and Longhead delegate joins in.

INT. SKYFLIER THRONE ROOM

This sets Dauntus off on a tirade about being in chare when “they come back”

Steelman threatens that if Dauntus does not stand down, he will cut off the gold supply to all Skyflier cities. Anauk reels. Dauntus settles. Steelman takes his weapon; the throne room guards stand down. XUS delegate tells Tallas, Saltar, Anauk and Dauntus to the dark side of the moon to appear before them and answer for this debacle and address Planet X. The XUS tells steelman he need not come – this is earth alien business. Tallas tells Steelman he IS coming with – but Steelman will have to be disguised. Humans are no longer welcome on the dark side of the moon.

Start: XUS delegates shame Dauntus

Challenge: Dauntus and all witness this – loss of face.

Conflict: Dauntus does not want to concede. Steelman threatens loss of gold

Action: XUS summons them to dark side of the moon and dismisses Steelman

Finish: Tallas tells Steelman he IS coming with – but will have to be disguised. Humans are no longer welcome on the dark side of the moon.

[Donna Stockwell]

Donna Stockwell’s Scene Requirements

What I learned doing this assignment is how segmented a story is, and how much more the story flows and becomes enhanced when the segments are addressed individually.

ACT 1 – Intriguing World. – Int. Cemetery Vault— THURSDAY Night 7pm
Ben is dragging a body in, and is spotted by a Ben’s brother who is lovingly holding and talking to a corpse (their mother).
Ben’s brother, Jasper, on floor of vault whispering to dead mother, while in the background Ben is carrying a woman’s body and hiding her. Ben approaches Jasper and tells him it’s time to go home. Jasper begs for a few more minutes, but calmly Ben insists that mother needs rest.
Open Loop: who is the dead woman? Why is he burying her in mother’s vault?
Hidden Layer: Ben is dragging his boss’ dead friend into his mother’s vault
Mystery: did he kill her and how?
MM – Why is Ben dragging a body into an occupied vault in the middle of the night?
SM – what really happened
SM – How could Ben explain this to the other man in the vault
SM – Who is the woman that Ben killed
SM – who will miss the woman that Ben killed
SM – Who is the other man in the vault and what is he doing
Empathy/Distress: Jasper upset about mother, Ben worried he’s going to tell someone about the body.
EMPATHY – Ben considers his brother’s feelings on surface, while hidden agenda is that he doesn’t want brother to tell.
Payoff: Jasper is now Ben’s ally
Irony: Ben wants to kill women and Jasper wants his mother alive

a. As Ben and Jasper leave the vault, Jasper notices the body and gets himself upset that mother is not used to company. Ben once again calms Jasper that mother asked for help, Jasper says he should stay instead, but finally Ben convinces Jasper they should go home.
Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:

On the way home Ben considers how to get Jasper not to tell anyone about mother’s new friend, explaining don’t want to scare the friend away. Jasper is sounding board, yes man (boosts Ben’s confidence in his actions), and conscious (like jimmy cricket) and Ben controls Jasper by calling him Cricket.
Intriguing World: grave-digging the vault in a cemetery
Intrigue: someone is dragging a body in, and is spotted by a man who is holding a corpse
MM – Why is Ben dragging a body into an occupied vault in the middle of the night?
SM – what really happened
SM – How could Ben explain this to the other man in the vault
SM – Who is the woman that Ben killed
SM – who will miss the woman that Ben killed
SM – Who is the other man in the vault and what is he doing
Hidden Layer: Ben is dragging his boss’ dead friend into his mother’s vault
Act 1 Turning Point: Ben convinces brother that mother needs friend
EMPATHY – Ben considers his brother’s feelings on surface, while hidden agenda is that he doesn’t want brother to tell.

ACT 2 WOUND— Int. Ben & Patrice’s Home — THURS Evening Dinner 8pm
Introduce Luke, and show how family interacts with each other.
Celeste introduces Luke at dinner table, talks about his handyman skills. Patrice asks how about how they met and notices how badly Celeste treats him, Patrice also mentions they need work around the house and Luke offers to do the jobs.
Introduce Jasper as “cricket” – explain nickname from childhood since he’s a jiminy cricket conscious) Jasper mentions that mother has a new friend too. While Patrice is curious and surprised, Ben gives a knowing nod that there is nothing to this remark, so the remark is quickly dismissed.
Int. Ben & Patrice’s Home — various rooms

Patrice tells Celeste to be nicer to Luke.
Start: Celeste dutifully helps her mother with the dishes after dinner, and asks her if she like Luke
Challenging Situation: What Patrice believes is important for quality of marriage: Happiness, mutual respect. Love,
Conflict: mother/daughter fight: Patrice tries to give guidance and Celeste tells her to mind her own business since she is not happy in her own marriage, she will not make the same mistakes as her
Action: None – just talking/yelling.
Finish: Patrice dreams of what she believes a relationship should be.

Patrice shows Luke areas of the house that needs repair, close proximity between the two of them.
Start: Patrice innocently shows Luke different areas of the house that needs repair
Challenging Situation: Patrice challenges her internal drive, by her need for love and closeness.

Action: Patrice and Luke get physically close to each other.
Conflict: Patrice fights her internal drive to kiss Luke
Finish: mutual admiration

Ben and Jasper in the study — re-iterate not to talk about what happened in the vault, Ben reminds Jasper of their history how he always took care of him and knows what’s best.
Start: Ben reprimands Jasper for not keeping “Mama’s secret friend a secret”
Challenging Situation: Ben reminds Jasper that it was Mama who asked for a friend to keep her company when Jasper had to work.
Conflict: Jasper is constantly trying to be part of the family dinner talk, and fit in as equal to the family.
Action: none – talking
Finish: Ben reminds Jasper that Ben takes care of Jasper, and Jasper agrees.

2b. Patrice and Luke kiss “by mistake” in the bedroom closet
Start: Patrice shows the project of building shelving in the walk-in closet.
Challenging Situation: challenge Patrice of being unfaithful to her husband
Conflict:
Action: kissing
Finish: Patrice wonders if she should have kissed him. Celeste calls out to look for Luke. Did she see?

Wound: Patrice is looking for love
SM – how has she been treated in her marriage up until now
EMPATHY – Add empathy for Patrice here
OL – where will she find love to mend the hole in her heart
Strange Behaviour: Patrice pays close attention to her daughter to make sure she is treating her man right
OL – how will Patrice teach her daughter how to have a healthy relationship
DISTRESS – Patrice’s frustration that her daughter does the opposite of the kind gestures that she is told
OL – what will Patrice do when she sees her daughter being mean to a nice man
Act 2 Turning Point: Patrice kisses Luke
EMPATHY/DISTRESS Add a mix of satisfaction that Patrice found love with shock of realization of what she must do to keep love

ACT 3. Secret Identity – Int. SAFnSOUND Business Office — THURS Daytime (Afternoon before Before Act 1)
Barbara’s past comes to visit her, as her friend & colleague prostitute meets with Barbara
Chelsey walks in to Barbara’s surprise and asks for help, since John is very demanding and overly cruel. Barbara asks what she can do to help. She says she will handle it, “you’ve always been so good to me”, says Chelsey.
Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish:
[[
Barbara goes into monitoring office, to look up recordings and pull dated recording to view. Find ??? (Something relevant and foreshadowing what John will do to Chelsey if she doesn’t get info from client)
Introduces Chelsey to Ben, and they go to her house, to install security system in her home.
Int – Chelsey’s home – DAY
After installation, Chelsey thanks Ben, and quickly evolves to Chelsey & Ben having sex… he goes too far and kills her.
Ext – Chelsey’s home – NIGHT
When they leave her home,
Int – 2nd monitoring station – NIGHT
show that someone is watching the recording in another monitoring station.
Ext – cemetery – NIGHT
Flash to summary of opening scene (ie present time), and fill in more details of Ben & Jasper’s characters and their close relationship.

Secret: Barbara’s past comes to visit her, as her friend & colleague prostitute meets with Barbara
OL – who is this friend and what urgent matter does she need Barbara to fix
EMPATHY – Barbara wants to help her friend
DISTRESS – cannot help her friend in the way she wants because of overlying shadow (which is John’s hold over her)
SM – what is Barbara’s real past and how did she come to start the home security business
DISTRESS – John reminds her of her obligations to him
Hidden Agenda: Barbara tells Ben to put security in friend’s home
Act 3 Turning Point: Ben has sex with Barbara’s friend
OL – there is already a security camera in friend’s home, who is watching?

ACT 4. Strange Behaviour — Int. Home — FRIDAY (Day Afternoon)
Patrice is happy, singing for the first time in a long time and Ben is obviously hiding his nervousness about getting caught and his excitement of power.
Ext – B&P Home
Luke working on a project that Ben has delayed. Patrice brings some water. Luke thanks her, and goes in for a kiss but Patrice steps back. Is anyone watching?

Int – B&P Home
Patrice keeps checking out the window to “monitor the progress of the Luke’s work”. Ben tells Patrice he has to go back to work and Patrice doesn’t mind. Ben says he might be late. Patrice doesn’t acknowledge, looking longingly out the window.. Ben suspects something which makes him furious and he leaves.

Celeste swears and ignores Patrice when she asks her what she wants for dinner tonight, since it will be just the two of them. Ben asks Celeste what’s wrong, and she just mutters that she is off to her friends. Ben asks about her and Luke’s plans for the evening, and Celeste announces they broke up. “So soon?” And Celeste glares at her mother. “What was that about?”

INT – SnS Office – DAY
Barbara asks Ben where Chelsey is. Ben lies, and says he has to go out right away.
EXT – street – NIGHT
Ben looks for another prostitute to calm his frustration. Does he get the urge to satisfy his need for power and control and kill again?
Jasper calls Ben if he is going to see mother’s new friend. Ben assures him that mother is safe, while he is burying another body. Afraid that Jasper will come, Ben admits he is going to watch mother tonight.
Strange Behaviour: Ben is strange to his wife and his boss –
MOL – daughter found out about Patrice’s affair
OL – how will daughter’s relationships with Patrice and Luke be now
DISTRESS – augment awkwardness between the three
OL – will the daughter tell her father
DISTRESS – daughter becomes closer to Ben, but Ben thinks it’s because she knows about his affair
OL – how will Ben hide his affair from his wife and keep Jasper from revealing his secret
DISTRESS – Ben tries to make up, but makes things painful, and Patrice is suspicious that Ben knows about her affair
OL – what will Ben say to Barbara about her friend
DISTRESS – Ben needs to keep calm and carry on as if nothing happened
Act 4 Turning Point: Barbara asks Ben where her friend is

ACT 5. Conspiracy & Deception — Int. SnS Office — End of Day
Barbara has to replace her friend, since she did not fulfil John’s directive.
John shows Barbara the tape of Ben killing her friend. Barbara stays strong, and asks what she can do. John tells Barbara to use Ben to install security into list of politician’s houses, and reminds Barbara that he is allowing her to live.

Intriguing World: bribing politicians with tapes
Deception: home security sales is just a cover-up for bribing politicians for Barbara’s “former” John
SM – Under what condition does Barbara own or run this security business
EMPATHY – Barbara was allowed to escape “the business” and her undeserved misfortune in order to go into securities with a condition
OL – Barbara has to replace her friend, since she did not fulfil John’s directive
DISTRESS – extreme consequences revealed since Barbara did not ensure her friend carried out John’s expectations; John raises the stakes of allowing Barbara’s living conditions
Act 5 Turning Point: It is John who sees his star killed on security footage

[Molly Gagnon]

What I learned during this assignment is that I apparently needed to do it for all scenes not just one. I read the instructions incorrectly. I also learned that what I thought would be the start is not going to be. I think I have a better intro after the teaser. I did Act 1 and I am hoping to complete a 22 minute show. So it’s shorter??

INT. LOCATION – DAY Orientation Room Carrington Manor

Start: Watching orientation on TV of beautiful facility

Challenging Situation: Looking around at a clearly awful place

Conflict: Gwenn fails drug test

Action:Gwenn brings in prescription drugs..

Finish: Gwenn is cheerfully hired

Simple Description of what is happening.

INT DAY ORIENTATION ROOM CARRINGTON MANOR

Close up to an old TV screen playing a VHS movie from 1995. A woman (Karly) with big dark hair is very well dressed and describing a beautiful building. The camera pans a dingy room with Gwenn trying to plug in her cell phone under the table. She finds a plug with a burn mark in it. She hears a THUD and parts of the ceiling fall on the table.

Gwenn takes a call from her soon to be boss Terry. She has failed the drug test. She sent off to go get any prescription drugs she has been taking to bring them in the office. She brings in 7 of them, Darla the office manager makes copies and tells her she is hired.