-
Day 11 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
-
9 Replies
-
Ed’s – Inherently Dramatic Characters
What I learned doing this lesson is linking the story vision to the traits and subtext is a great way to align and support the drama and conflict that unfolds. Looking at traits that can be contradictory and ironic, improves a characters inner conflicts. This should boost the dialogue as they battle not only other characters but their own persona.
OLD CHARACTER PROFILES:
HENRY – a wayward ten year old clamoring for his father’s love.
Subtext – Henry needs to be closer to his father before his grows up
HENRY – OLD TRAITS
Impulsive
Daring
Kind/Caring
Seeks Fame
Disobedient
SAMWISE – A North Pole stable elf trying to make it to retirement
Subtext – Samwise would like to see a little genuine gratitude before he leaves
SAMWISE – OLD TRAITS
Grouchy
Lazy
Drinks
Gentle
Evasive
Mentoring
Selfish
ALFREDA – Santa’s social media influencer and number one pain in the butt
Subtext – She feels she the most unappreciated elf in the North Pole
ALFREDA – OLD TRAITS
Fears Failure
Insecure
Driven
Underhanded
Cunning
Loyal
NEW -CHARACTER PROFILES
HENRY – is a wayward ten year old on the cusp of adolescence.
Subtext – He never doubts himself even when he’s wrong.
HENRY – NEW TRAITS
Adventurous
Courageous
Impulsive
Stubborn
Gullible
Determined
SAMWISE – A north Pole stable elf with a desire to leave a legacy
Subtext – He’s a stable elf who’s much wiser than he’s given credit for.
SAMWISE – NEW TRAITS
Irritable
Low Self-esteem
Humble
Evasive
Wise
Impatient
ALFREDA – her abrasiveness makes her hard to like despite her many accomplishments
Subtext – She gladly do wait it takes and accept the price for it
ALFEDA – NEW TRAITS
Insecure
Driven
Abrasive
Decisive
Loyal
-
LESSON 11 GEORGE VERONGOS FULL-OUT CHARACTERS
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that with just a few words about a character, I can really make the story more exciting and the characters more dynamic, which is something I have racked my brains for hours and hours about because characters seemed less than.
ORIGINAL PROFILES:
DESCRIPTION: ARI is a young teenage girl from a broken home, struggling to grow up.
TRAITS: Shy, introverted, low self-esteem, smart
SUBTEXT: Ari feels invisible and unloved.
DESCRIPTION: SARAH comes from an affluent family and sells weed at the high school she rarely attends.
TRAITS: Bold, impulsive, conniving, confident
SUBTEXT: Sarah is lost and is searching for some meaning in her life.
DESCRIPTION: KANE is on a low rung of the drug cartel ladder and a big oaf of a white guy who has appropriated the Black drug dealer stereotype.
TRAITS: Vulgar, brutish, manipulative, violent
SUBTEXT: Kane wants to be respected and liked for him and not just feared as a drug dealer.
REVISED PROFILES:
DESCRIPTION: ARI is a young over-weight girl who starts experimenting with drugs and self-harm in order to feel like she has some control in her life.
TRAITS: Shy, introverted, low self-esteem, scared
SUBTEXT: Ari endlessly strives to please her mother in hopes of feeling loved in return.
DESCRIPTION: SARAH, daughter of an Asst DA father and high-profile trial attorney mother seeks out dangerous and illegal activities.
TRAITS: Bold, impulsive, conniving, rebellious
SUBTEXT: Sarah struggles to find her identity no matter who she has to lie to or what she has to lie about.
DESCRIPTION: KANE is on a low rung of the drug cartel ladder and a big oaf of a white guy who has appropriated the Black drug dealer stereotype.
TRAITS: Aggressive, dumb, manipulative, violent
SUBTEXT: Kane wants to be respected and liked for him and not just feared, but his short temper finds him in violent situations.
-
KZ’s Inherently Dramatic Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is: thinking through the character traits and subtext can give you clues about how to write more powerful scenes.
OLD CHARACTER PROFILES
Oliver – an out-of-work costume designer
-empath
-curious, seeker
-Transactional in relationships
-vain
subtext: wants to find true loveNolan – a bestselling author of supernatural thrillers
-malicious, vengeful
-vain
-sense of humor, creative
subtext: wants to control othersMichelle
-perceptive
-imperious
-drama queen
-nosy
subtext: wants to stay alive at all costsNEW CHARACTER PROFILES
Oliver
-empath
-curious, seeker
-vain
-rescuer
subtext: wants to find love, but fears getting hurtNolan
-malicious, vengeful
-vain
-sense of humor, creative
-controlling
subtext: insecurity makes him lash outMichelle
-perceptive
-conniving
-drama queen
-nosy
subtext: wants to defeat those with power over her -
What I’ve learned is that creating dramatic characters is a difficult task I need a lot of work to do it successfully.
Judith’s Character Traits Lesson
(Note: the scene between Sawyer and Kate is in Season 1, Episode 16 toward the end.)
BEFORE FOR CHARACTER 1: RACHEL
DESCRIPTION: Rachel is an art store owner who takes care of her aged mother.
TRAITS: kind; obedient; caring; passionate
SUBTEXT: Rachel feels it is her duty to take care of her mother.
AFTER FOR CHARACTER 1: RACHEL
DESCRIPTION: Rachel is an art store owner who feels she is stuck with taking care of her aged mother.
TRAITS: concealing; revengeful; self-serving; passionate
SUBTEXT: Rachel feels it is unfair that she is responsible for her mother and resents that her sister she feels is her mother’s favorite doesn’t help.
BEFORE FOR CHARACTER 2: EMILY
DESCRIPTION: Emily is a budding artist who has her first art show interrupted by her estranged sister whom she welcomes with open arms.
TRAITS: gullible; low self-esteem; creative; overly accommodating
SUBTEXT: Emily is a pushover
AFTER FOR CHARACTER 2: EMILY
DESCRIPTION: Emily is a budding artist who has her first art show and must protect herself from her revengeful sister.
TRAITS: gullible; low self-esteem; creative; brave
SUBTEXT: Emily has a good chance of being killed.
BEFORE FOR CHARACTER 3: EUGENE
DESCRIPTION: Eugene is a hard-working scientist bent on success.
TRAITS: bitter; perceptive; practical; overly competitive
SUBTEXT: Eugene works hard to succeed and neglects his family.
AFTER FOR CHARACTER 3: EUGENE
DESCRIPTION: Eugene is an ambitious scientist who works too hard to cover up his need to prove himself as good as his father.
TRAITS: bitter; perceptive; practical; protective
SUBTEXT: Eugene is an ambitious scientist who works too hard and neglects his family to prove to himself he is as good as his father.
-
Ed’s Inherently Dramatic Characters
What I learned that is improving my writing is that boring characters are boring and interesting characters are interesting. Interesting characters are harder to write but worth the effort. When something major happens in the story, it should be either the result of a character’s serious shortcoming, or as the result of overcoming such a shortcoming.
(FYI: This is the story of Joseph from the Bible.)
JOSEPH:
before-
DESCRIPTION: Jacob’s first son by his favorite wife, Rachel
TRAITS: Handsome, smart, good manager, diligent
SUBTEXT: Jacob’s likely successor
after-
DESCRIPTION: Jacob’s clearly favorite son
TRAITS: Handsome, smart, good manager, diligent, full of himself
SUBTEXT: Convinced he’s destined for easy greatness
ZEBULUN:
before-
DESCRIPTION: Jacob’s youngest son by Leah, closest in age to Joseph
TRAITS: sullen, envious, dull, easily angered
SUBTEXT: Hates Joseph with a passion and wants him to fail
after-
DESCRIPTION: Jacob’s youngest son by Leah, closest in age to Joseph
TRAITS: envious, resentful, devious, smart, murderous
SUBTEXT: Hates Joseph with a passion and wants him dead
POTIPHAR:
before-
DESCRIPTION: Chief of Pharaoh’s palace guard, owner of Joseph
TRAITS: polished, masculine, commanding presence, honorable
SUBTEXT: a man who appreciates, recognizes and rewards talent
after-
DESCRIPTION: Chief of Pharaoh’s palace guard, wealthy, owns Joseph
TRAITS: manly, commanding presence, highly respected, weak for his wife
SUBTEXT: an honorable man who rewards talent, but is intimidated by his wife
ZAHRA:
before-
DESCRIPTION: Potiphar’s beautiful, high-class wife
TRAITS: elegant, sophisticated, refined, spoiled
SUBTEXT: a woman used to getting what she wants
after-
DESCRIPTION: Potiphar’s beautiful, high class wife,
TRAITS: sophisticated, demanding, persistent, pitiless
SUBTEXT: I get what I want, or else.
-
Sandra’s Full-Out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is the importance of creating lead characters that bring drama and entertainment to the story. For me it’s been a challenge to try to fit all the character traits into one scene, and when writing a rom-com having nice characters that are not dull.
CURRENT
DESCRIPTION: BEN is a reserved computer software salesman who is fired from his job, and forced to work in the family business.
TRAITS: Helpful, hardworking, competitive, covering up
SUBTEXT: BEN is covering up his intuitive ability with birds.
REVISED
DESCRIPTION: BEN, recently fired from his job as a software salesman, is forced to work for his mother.
TRAITS: Conservative, loyal, competitive, covering up
SUBTEXT: BEN loves birds, but is insecure, so he tries to cover up his intuitive abilities with birds.
CURRENT
DESCRIPTION: SAMANTHA is an artist who recently inherited her uncle’s mansion.
TRAITS: Creative, free spirit, romantic, secretive
SUBTEXT: SAMANTHA needs Ben’s help to restore the bird sanctuary.
REVISED
DESCRIPTION: SAMANTHA is a charming and impulsive artist who recently inherited her uncle’s neglected mansion.
TRAITS: Adventurous, playful, charming, impulsive
SUBTEXT: SAMANTHA doesn’t have a clue how to restore the bird sanctuary, so she charms Ben and others into helping her.
CURRENT
DESCRIPTION: ROSE, Ben’s mother, is a pet supply store owner who wants to retire.
TRAITS: Loving, calm, withholding, secretive
SUBTEXT: ROSE’S business is faltering and she is withholding telling Ben.
REVISED
DESCRIPTION: ROSE, Ben’s mother, is a struggling small business owner, withholding the truth from her son.
TRAITS: Kind, generous, manipulative, withholding
SUBTEXT: ROSE pretends she’s overwhelmed and manipulates Ben into saving the family business, hoping he will take over and she can retire.
-
Maureen’s Inherently Dramatic Characters:
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that by putting character traits and subtexts on paper and refining them in harmony with the essence and vision of the story and their roles in it, they come alive and begin to act and speak in much more real and satisfying ways.
CHARACTER: MATT (MAIN CHARACTER)
MATT BEFORE:
Description: Bitter and Broken Ex-Navy Seal who dropped out of his American life after the death of his son and the break down of his marriage. Now captaining a small dive and salvage boat in the Philippines.
Core Traits: Broken, Bitter, Resourceful, Loyal
Main Subtext: Avoid emotional pain at all costs.
MATT AFTER:
Description: Bitter and Broken Ex-Pat, Ex-Navy Seal who dropped out of his life at home after the death of his son and the breakdown of his marriage, now captaining a small dive and salvage boat in the Philippines.
Core Traits: Protective, Determined, Loyal, Resourceful, Brave, Wounded, Retaliatory.
Subtext: Beneath an amiable ‘keep it light’ exterior, Matt vigilantly threat-assesses the world and the people around him.
CHARACTER: ALYSSE (MATT’S ESTRANGED WIFE)
ALYSSE BEFORE:
Description: Attractive, practical wife and mother, angry with Matt because he let her down when she needed him.
Core Traits: Protective, Disappointed, Judgemental, Angry
Subtext: Make Matt hurt until he understands how he hurt me.
ALYSSE AFTER:
Description: Fiercely protective and caring mother who is deeply disappointed in the husband she loved, and blames him for not being strong enough to fix everything after they lost their son.
Core Traits: Caring, Protective, Disappointed, Blaming, Reactive
Subtext: She still loves Matt, but she must not let him see that.
CHARACTER: GORDIE
GORDIE BEFORE:
Description: Fun-loving, pot smoking slob who works for Matt.
Core Traits: Lazy, Indolent, Funny, Bumbling, Capable
Subtext: None
GORDIE AFTER:
Description: Fun-loving wanderer with entertaining stories of his many adventures. Highly capable, yet bumbling, he works with Matt and keeps him laughing- which Matt needs and appreciates.
Core Traits: Fun-loving, Escapist Adventurer, Indolent, Capable
Subtext: Uses humor to manipulate situations and conversations away from anything uncomfortable or deep.
-
Amechi’s inherently dramatic characters
What I learned doing this assignment is that building in strong character traits, is a good way to create more drama and stronger scenes.
OLD
BILLIE
Studious
Determined
Loner
Superior
Subtext: Saboteur
TREVOR
Slacker
Quick-witted
Enthusiastic
Jealous
Subtext: Concealing
JENNIFER
Spiritual
Positive
Streetwise
Friendly
Subtext: Manipulative
NEW
BILLIE
Bookworm
Realist
Lone Wolf
Scared
Subtext: Saboteur (Sabotages those around her so that she looks as good as possible.)
TREVOR
Slacker
Charming
Disillusioned
Jealous
Subtext: Concealing (Hides so that others have to do the work.)
JENNIFER
Spiritual
Enchanting
Streetwise
Slippery
Subtext: Manipulative (Manipulates people into conceding power to her.)
-
Paul’s Full-Out Characters.
4. What I learned that is improving my writing is to begin always with the essence/vision. This assignment has forced me to go back and re-visit the essence and that has been excellent. Also, as I re-visited the character traits, I found opportunities for enhancing the story as a result of enhancing character traits. This has been a really valuable assignment with many positive (I hope) repercussions on my script.
2. CURRENT
Person 1:
Description: US President who is desperate to avoid defeat in the mid-terms.
Traits: Silly / Superficial / Selfish / Power-mad.
Sub-text: Fears his paternal instincts could jeopardize his political ambitions.
Person 2:
Description: Dilbara is mother of Aynur, the “Trojan Doll”.
Traits: Cold / Fanatic / Domineering / Plotting
Sub-text: She is jealous of her husband’s love for Aynur, her step-daughter.
Person 3:
Description: Vice-President, willing to do anything to occupy the Oval Office.
Traits: domineering / liar / manipulative / obsessive.
Sub-text: She is desperate to occupy the Oval Office.
3. REVISED
Person 1:
Description: US President who is desperate to avoid defeat in the mid-terms.
Traits: Reckless / Short-sighted / Ruthless / Blinded by political ambition.
Sub-text: Is reluctantly beginning to realize that being a father is more satisfying than being a president.
Person 2:
Description: Dilbara is a US-hating, Muslim fanatic.
Traits: Cold / Fanatic / Domineering / Plotting
Sub-text: She is willing to sacrifice others, but not herself in her Muslim crusade.
Person 3:
Description: Vice-President, willing to do anything to occupy the Oval Office.
Traits: ambitious / scheming / ruthless / political prostitute.
Sub-text: She is capable of treasonous acts if they help her become president.
END
Log in to reply.