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Day 11 Assignments
Post your assignment by replying here.
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19 Replies
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Title: Sandra Hildreth,
Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is to create characters with traits that provide opportunities to create interest, drama, and intrigue into my screenwriting.
Four
character “Before”IRIS: Grounded, down-to-earth, rarely panics, relies heavily on her wife, shy, doesn’t want to rock anyone’s boat.
LILY: Laid back, artistic, sophisticated, divorced
ROSE: A worrier, over-thinks and over-analyzes everything
HOLLY: Fearless, frank, exuberant
Four
characters “After”IRIS: grounded, empathetic, resourceful, devious, manipulative
LILY: laid back, artistic, self-serving (selfish), quick temper, argumentative, mischievous
ROSE: organized, a natural leader, envious (social climber), flaky, haughty, obstinate
HOLLY: Fearless, frank, exuberant, conceited, disruptive, forgetful
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Don Thompson explores character profiling.
What I learned is that interesting characters will often display contradictory behavior. Profiling characters helps to discover those contradictions.
BEFORE– Original Character Profiles:
DESCRIPTION #1: ROBERT is an introverted college professor who has rarely displays emotion but is dedicated to his students.
TRAITS: Listens well, empathetic, dedicated, idealistic.
SUBTEXT: Robert would love to write a breakthrough book about an idea he has.
DESCRIPTION #2: ISABEL is a journalist who believes in the truth and conveying it to the world at all costs, as long as she maintains her ethics.
TRAITS: Determined, ethical, honest, hardworking.
SUBTEXT: Isabel has never felt like she gets the recognition she deserves.
DESCRIPTION #3: GARY is a brilliant painter who always defers to criticism, even if off base.
TRAITS: Creative, adaptive, easy-going, friendly.
SUBTEXT: Gary is often angry at his critics, but internalizes this anger as he defers to what they say as he believes it will help his career and sell his paintings at a higher price.
AFTER – ‘Re-do profiles for more Drama’:
DESCRIPTION #1: ROBERT is a brilliant but introverted college professor who at night goes clubbing and engages in alcohol abuse and unsafe sex with both men and women that are half his age. During the day, he displays an obsessive dedication to his student’s success.
TRAITS: Jekyll and Hyde, repressed, self-critical, insightful, alcoholic.
SUBTEXT: Robert hates himself for his ‘alternate’ personality but nonetheless enjoys destroying his own internal stereotypes of himself.
DESCRIPTION #2: ISABEL is a journalist who believes in the truth and getting to it at all costs, even if that means skirting ethical rules and conduct and therefore jeopardizing her career.
TRAITS: Myopic, determined, contextual ethics, the goal justifies the means.
SUBTEXT: Isabel has won many accolades for her work but is constantly looking over her shoulder, deeply concerned that one of her informants/sources will spill the beans and expose her unethical methods.
DESCRIPTION 3: GARY is a brilliant painter who listens to no one as he paints his fantastical images derived from what he calls ‘states of ecstasy’ that are tantamount to religious experiences.
TRAITS: Creative, disruptive, iconoclastic, spiritual, joyful.
SUBTEXT: While Gary’s paintings sell well, he has few friends and has gone through multiple divorces. He is unable to get one of his paintings into a modern art museum because of a heated disagreement with the museum’s curator. The newspaper critics love both Gary and his work.
END
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SUBJECT: Monica’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is not only discovering the essence of these characters in my sci-fi script but adding dark secrets as sub-text will punch up the drama.
1. Pick three characters you’d like to be more dramatic. You’re going to write a “before and after” for each character by doing #2 and #3 below.
A. Character: Echo
B. Character: Mark
C. Character: Sally
2. Show their CURRENT profile (like Jerry’s) that lists a description, their core traits, and their main subtext.
CURRENT PROFILE: ECHO
Description: ECHO is an extremely intelligent young woman with psychological issues.
Core Traits: Selfish, entitled, intelligent, and crafty.
Sub-text: Blames her father for all her troubles in her life.
CURRENT PROFILE: MARK (Echo’s dad)
Description: MARK is doing the best he can with three teenage daughters while holding a top security clearance job for the government.
Core Traits: Nerd, intelligent, scattered, caring
Sub-text: Wishes he never married and had kids.
CURRENT PROFILE: MOM (Mark’s mother)
Description: “MOM” is a white witch with a very different view of the world.
Core Traits: Cunning, survivor, magical, straight shooter
Sub-text: Looking for her successor.
3. Create a REVISED profile for each character that delivers drama and fulfills the vision of the story in a better way.
REVISED PROFILE: ECHO
Description: ECHO is an extremely intelligent young woman hell bent on destroying the world.
Core Traits: Selfish, intelligent, possessed, and violent.
Sub-text: Good and evil war within Echo.
REVISED PROFILE: MARK
Description: MARK holds a government job with a top security clearance and has a family with many secrets which would compromise his job.
Core Traits: Secretive, intelligent, scattered, arrogant
Sub-text: Mark may have to resurrect his witch powers to save his daughter.
REVISED PROFILE: “MOM”
Description: “MOM” was raped as a young woman and seeks to protect her granddaughters from the danger that lurks in their lives.
Core Traits: Rage, survivor, magical, straight shooter
Sub-text: Lives life on her terms.
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Janeen’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that I need to stop making my characters (in the beginning) the kind of people I hope they will be (in the end) and make them as broken as real people are. There’s no journey if I don’t.
Three characters I’d like to be more dramatic: I chose all 5 human characters from my family comedy. They don’t have enough comedic oomph or drama. <div>
<div>
Current Profiles:
1. NOAH WILLIAMS, 10 yo boy
Traits: Low key, observant, responsible, responsible
Subtext: Noah wants to be the star rather than outshone by his step-sister Abby.
2. ABBY PAXTON – 13 yo girl
Traits: Manipulative, smart-mouth, cagey, sulky
Subtext: Wants to prove she is worth parental love since her mother left her.
3. GREG PAXTON – 40-ish workaholic dad
Traits: Rescuer, smart, duty-driven, well-meaning
Subtext: He is guilty that his wife left he and Abby and feels that he needs to make it up to her by being generous.
4. WHITNEY WILLIAMS – 30-something WFH mom
Traits: Drudge, Efficient, Smart, on autopilot
Subtext: She is desperate to keep her WFH job as that’s the only way she thinks she can raise her son alone successfully.
5. BETTY WHITE – 80-something devious neighbor
Traits: Cagey, manipulative, realistic, frail
Subtext: She wants everyone, but especially the Paxtons, to spend more quality time with their dogs and fulfill their dogs’ ambitions/dreams.
Improved Profiles: </div><div>
1. NOAH WILLIAMS, 10 yo boy
Traits: Low key, observant, responsible, vengeful
Subtext: Noah wants to be the star rather than be outshone by his step-sister Abby.
2. ABBY PAXTON – 13 yo girl
Traits: Manipulative, smart-mouth, cagey, exuberant
Subtext: Wants to prove she is worth parental love since her mother left her.
3. GREG PAXton – 40-ish workaholic dad
Traits: Self-sacrificing (at work), guilty, indulgent, unchallenged
Subtext: He is convinced his ex left him (and Abby) because he loved his job, but didn’t make enough money to suit her and has transferred that to his new blended family.
4. WHITNEY WILLIAMS – 30-something WFH mom
Traits: Efficient, smart, over-organized,
Subtext: Whitney is afraid of getting hurt again (fired from work or abandoned by her husband) as she was when she got pregnant with Noah.
5. BETTY WHITE – 80-something devious neighbor
Traits: Cagey, manipulative, frail due to age, loving
Subtext: Betty wants the family next door to take on her dream for her dogs, her dogs when she’s gone and her. She is seeking family now and in the future for her dogs.
</div></div>
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Kathleen
What I’ve learned about improving my characters is that we must face these complicated challenges ourselves and not wait for collaborators or critics while we look forward to having viewers appreciate how the story is terrific.
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Description: JDog is the name of this 19th century outlaw who as a child was bitten by a dog and went mad.
Traits: Wild, Mean, Loyal, Mad
Subtext: JDog follows a trail with his band of outlaws, into the 21st century which leads him to a woman who is sleeping alone in her house.
JDog will blindly follow the leader of their posse who is Jesse Evans. When he arrives at the house as a ghost, he finds that the woman is vulnerable but without his band he’s no one.
1- better
Description: JDog is the name of this 19th century outlaw who as a child was bitten by a dog and went mad. As a young adult he lusts to go out on his own without Jesse.
Traits: Wild, Mean, Loyal, Lusting
Subtext: JDog follows a trail with his band of outlaws, into the 21st century where he no longer comprehends time or space having become a ghost. Finding the woman alone at her house he evokes fear which becomes terror and decides to kill her to have her companionship.
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Description: Charles Ray is also known as “Pony”, a 19th century outlaw who is always possessed by spirits from the past and never leaves his pard Dolly’s side.
Traits: Strong, undying, faithful, crazy
Subtext: He goes along with Dolly forward in time. When they are in century 21 they ride the same motorcycle. Different men who are ghosts possess CR and they ride together. They fight and it is kill or be killed, and he is resistant.
2- better
Description: Charles Ray is also known as “Pony”, a 19th century outlaw who is frequently possessed by spirits from the past, and never leaves his pard Dolly’s side. Miraculously, he gets killed again and again, but keeps on living. Traveling between centuries is no trouble for him.
Traits: Strong, invincible, faithful, possessed
Subtext: He travels with Dolly forward in time from century 19. When they are in century 21 they ride the same motorcycle. Different men who are ghosts possess CR and they ride together. They fight death and it is kill or be killed.
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Description: Lacy is a young woman who owns a ranch house, works a corporate job and rides horses at the fair each year. She is engaged to be married when the ghost of an outlaw rapes her.
Traits: Loving, Sturdy, hard-working, Pretty
Subtext: While planning the marriage ceremony, reception and honeymoon, she thinks about moving out of the house when the ghost of an outlaw terrifies her. Her mother and father give their support and plans proceed.
3- better
Description: Lacy is a young woman who owns a ranch house, works a corporate job and rides horses at the fair each year. She is training a girl and her horse too, when her property is invaded by men from the past, who appear riding motorcycles. She is engaged to be married when the ghost of an outlaw rapes her.
Traits: Loving, Sturdy, Equestrian, Pretty
Subtext: While renovating the property, planning the marriage ceremony, reception, and honeymoon, the ghost of an outlaw terrifies her and she thinks about moving out of the house. She and her young friend show their horses at the fair, and plans proceed in spite of the fact that ghosts have terrified her.
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Doug Ryan Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is even when I think my characters are really interesting they can always be improved upon to make for more dramatic angles in scenes. It is really helping me flush out more of my story learning this technique.
DESCRIPTION: Drake is a stay at home dad that tends to be more into his kids than meeting other parents.
TRAITS: Loving, Loner, Standoffish, Lazy
SUBTEXT: Drake’s loner standoffish ways keep him from making connections with others.
DESCRIPTION: Drake, a former chef and now stay at home dad thinks he can raise his kids without any help even from his wife.
TRAITS: Loving, Slacker, Snarky, Misanthrope
SUBTEXT: Drake uses his kids as cover for averting meeting new people and his slacker ways causing rifts in his marriage.
DESCRIPTION: Red is a former royal Irish Ranger turned hitman that is forced out of the shadows by his boss and a crooked FBI agent.
TRAITS: Kick ass, Snarky, highly observant, Loyal.
SUBTEXT: Red rushes into situations based on loyalty, even when he is the only one that is loyal.
DESCRIPTION: Red, a former Irish Ranger turned assassin for a Tampa mob has to protect her family from a crooked FBI agent that set her up.
TRAITS: Snarky, Loyal, Skilled, Invincible.
SUBTEXT: Red uses her skills to avoid capture and death constantly and seemingly effortlessly, leaving her blind loyalty unchecked.
DESCRIPTION: Darius is a war veteran working for tax evading elites who could care less if he lives or dies.
TRAITS: Strong, Smart, Dependable, Depressed,
SUBTEXT: Darius follows orders in order to keep everyone safe.
DESCRIPTION: DARIUS is a well read war vet dealing with PTSD while working head security for wealthy tax evaders on an island compound.
TRAITS: Dependable, Naive, Aware, and Deposed.
SUBTEXT: DARIUS trusts what he is doing is right but is forced to realize he is just following orders from people who think he is expendable.
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James’ Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is by tweaking the character profiles I’m discovering new layers to my story and characters. Along with the essence and extreme traits, these layers offer more subtext making the story extra engaging and interesting even in a comedy.
Pappy (Hero)
Current profile
Description: Pappy is the studious type who wants to lose his virginity.
Traits: Studious, delusional, inexperienced, bold.
Subtext: Pappy covers his inexperience with women with boldness.
Revised profile
Description: Pappy is totally inexperienced and a virgin, but never backs away from a fight.
Traits: Studious, martial artist, short-fuse, lover.
Subtext: Pappy conceals his virginity with his bold outward demeanor.
Eli (Sidekick)
Current profile
Description: Eli is a loyal and always supportive friend.
Traits: Naïve, adventurous, pretender, studious.
Subtext: Eli avoids festive social situations by creating nonsensical excuses.
Revised profile
Description: Eli grows enthusiastic and joins his best friend’s quest to conquer their women.
Traits: Adventurous, naïve, inquisitive, mad scientist.
Subtext: Eli covers his adventurous inclinations by appearing to be in control.
Don Assante (Opponent)
Current profile
Description: Don Assante rules his world with a human radar system.
Traits: Philosopher, entrepreneur, covert, woman-chaser.
Subtext: Don Assante underhandedly battles his enemies.
Revised profile
Description: Don Assante battles for his interests on different fronts.
Traits: Philosopher, circumspect, covert, enterprising.
Subtext: Don Assante covertly strings along all his enemies in a final battle of wits.
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Hope McPherson’s Full-out Characters
What I learned: I appreciated Hal’s earlier comment, “When a character arrives, so do their traits.” I’d never thought of character traits as being responsible for that much depth (duh!), and I can already see how the traits 2.0 will impact the natural interaction between these characters.
Charlie Piper
DESCRIPTION: CHARLIE is a young businesswoman who wants to make it big.
TRAITS: Ambitious, persistent, determined, aimless.
SUBTEXT: Charlie wants to please her deceased father, even if it means giving up her own dreams.
Charlie Piper.2
DESCRIPTION: CHARLIE is a failed artist who’s now failing in business.
TRAITS: Creative, loyal, caring, disorganized.
SUBTEXT: Charlie (who inherits a farm) is afraid of animals.
Amber Anders Piper (stepmom)
DESCRIPTION: Amber is a widowed trophy wife in charge of a multi-million dollar company.
TRAITS: Ambitious, smart, demanding, plotting.
SUBTEXT: Amber wants to maneuver her step-daughter out of her inheritance.
Amber Anders Piper.2 (stepmom)
DESCRIPTION: Amber is a widowed trophy wife in charge of a multi-million dollar company.
TRAITS: Ambitious, secretive, plotting, loyal.
SUBTEXT: Amber manipulates those around her to do her bidding.
Jed Mack
DESCRIPTION: JED is no-nonsense veterinarian who helps Charlie to repay her deceased aunt for being there for him during his difficult childhood.
TRAITS: Smart, professional, caring, demanding.
SUBTEXT: Jed … [no subtext to speak of].
Jed Mack.2
DESCRIPTION: JED is no-nonsense veterinarian who takes charge and mansplains too often.
TRAITS: Smart, professional, protective, blunt.
SUBTEXT: Jed resents being left out of Charlie’s deceased aunt’s will after all his help when she was alive and sick.
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Rebecca’s Full Out Characters
What I learned that is improving my writing is that by daring to get out of the box by making a few changes to a character’s profile can not only add more drama and layers to the character but add interesting new possibilities and situations in the story line.
Vision of the story: Terror in a captive coal town by the coal and iron police to break a strike.
ERVIN Current Profile
Description: ERVIN is a tall and strong carpenter, a pacifist who refuses to fight.
Traits: Gentle, kind, quiet, sensitive
Subtext: Wants to make a difference in the world but too timid to attempt anything controversial.
ERVIN’S Revised Profile:
Description: ERVIN, a tall strong carpenter, struggles to control his violent rages through avoiding conflict and physical confrontations.
Traits: quiet, sensitive, kind, violent rage.
Subtext: Ervin’s gentle pacifist demeanor, covers up his guilt of accidentally breaking the neck of a school yard bully during a fight.
LUDIE’s Current Profile
Description: LUDIE is a happy Polish woman who loves her husband and children and manages to provide for her family’s welfare despite the hardship’s during the coal strike.
Traits: fun, caring, open, protective
Subtext: Ludie is protective of her husband, children, father, and siblings and ready to step in if needed.
LUDIE’S Revised Profile
Description: LUDIE appears a happy woman, good wife, mother, daughter, and sister, but struggles to keep up the facade to cover up the trauma of being raped. by the head of the coal and iron police in order to protect her family from harm and death.
Traits: good natured, caring, outspoken, secretive, emotional, deceiving.
Subtext: LUDIE’s forced happiness is a facade she is forced to maintain to protect her family from harm and death at the hands of the commander of the Coal and Iron police who raped her.
RIESE’S Profile
Description: REISE is the young innocent sister of Ludie who feels lost and overlooked since her mother’s death.
Traits: Cheerful, good natured, helpful, obedient, emotionally needy.
Subtext: RIESE is blossoming into womanhood without a mother to guide her and her father with little time and uncomfortable in handling issues that had been his deceased wife’s domain.
RIESE’S Revised Profile
Description: REISE, a blossoming teenager in love with life, misses the love and guidance of her recently deceased mother. Feeling alone and emotionally needy she falls victim to seduction by the commander of the Coal and Iron Police and must keep it secret.
Traits: good natured, helpful, needy, deceiving, cunning
Subtext: REISE must rely on her wits to keep up the facade of innocent young girl to cover up the seduction by Herr Bucholtz, resulting pregnancy, and the knowledge of her sister’s rape by the same man.
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Carol Paur Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is pushing myself to go deeper into character traits and subtexts makes my characters more interesting and gives me more to work with in terms of dialogue.
Raymond from Compulsory
Current description: A WWI Vet who works at a law firm and feels threatened by his boss.
Core traits: Compliant, caring, smart, insecure
Subtext: Raymond feels less of a person than his wife.
New description: A WWI Vet who can’t see his way out of joining the KKK.
New traits: Intelligent, loving, compliant, anxious
New subtext: Raymond was discharged from the army because his anxiety prevented him from shooting Germans during a battle.
Cecelia from Halfway There
Current description: A woman who lost her job and boyfriend takes a job at a group home for the mentally ill.
Core traits: Superficial, pleasant, popular, self-absorbed
Subtext: Cecelia is fighting her own struggles with anxiety and guilt of her father’s suicide.
New profile
New description: An overweight woman who loses her job and boyfriend at the same time takes a job at a home for the mentally ill.
New traits: Pleasant, insecure, creative, fanatical
New subtext: Cecelia believes she’s the reason her father committed suicide.
Ruby from Ruby’s Race
Current description: An African turtle unhappy with her life in the swamp.
Core traits: dedicated, caring, slow, bumbling
Subtext: Ruby wishes she was like Carrots
New description: An African turtle running a rehab facility in the swamp for injured animals.
Core traits: Caring, dedicated, slow, furious
New subtext: Ruby resents her dull life.
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Joseph’s Full-out characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how to place characters into more conflicted and dramatic positions, given their traits, set-up description, and subtext, which will bring more interest to every scene and goal as they more through the story
PRICE:
Description- An underachiever who willingly accepts the role of being a dimmer star than his older brother.
Core Traits- gifted, romantic, loner, predictable, ordered.
Subtext- He’d really like to show everyone that he is the true golden boy of the family.
PRICE:
Description- An underachiever who wishes to remain a dimmer star than his heralded brother, but becomes judge, jury, and executioner of those who eventually decide on a different plan for his life.
Core Traits- gifted, romantic, loner, predictable, ordered, justice-driven.
Subtext- Price has no formal training to allow him to take his brother’s place after his death, but only their father knows that secret.
DANI:
Description- Aims to be the best, regardless of who she must step over or outshine.
Core Traits- feisty, tough, intelligent, detail oriented.
Subtext- She plays two men on opposite sides of a fight, in order that each will aid in the advancement of her career
DANI:
Description- She’s an over – achiever to a fault, stepping over others for success because she’s under the pressure of deportation if she fails
Core Traits- feisty, tough, intelligent, detail oriented, concealing
Subtext- Aligned with the good-guys plight, she actually colludes with the enemy, in order to pay back a debt.
Jonathan:
Description- Insinuates himself into a control position for the company owned by his aging foster parents.
Core Traits- ruthless, vengeful, charming, megalomaniac
Subtext- He’s led to believe he will be cut out of the company’s future plans.
Jonathan:
Description- Illegally cons his way into a control position for the company owned by his aging foster parents.
Core Traits- ruthless, vengeful, charming, megalomaniac, murderer
Subtext- Along with the good-intention help of his foster parents, he hides the commission of a dreadful crime from his youth, in order to fit into his new world.
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Julie Wochholz’s Full-out Characters
WHAT I LEARNED – giving characters traits and subtext that inherently creates drama provides the opportunity in the script for more conflict between characters, thus adding to the story’s conflict and interest to the audience. I also learned that being more precise about a trait helps with writing the character (Evan is strategic as opposed to simply intelligent) Specificity can allow me to display the trait better.
Three Characters current profile:
MAYA: Maya is a high school senior with a quick temper and disdain for school.
TRAITS:
Quick tempered
Under-achiever
Cynical
Honest
Subtext: ??
EVAN: Evan is one of Maya’s BFFs and being pushed by his parents to go to Harvard.
TRAITS:
Intelligent
Depressed
Oppressed
Creative/Artistic
Subtext: ??
OLIVIA: Olivia is Maya’s other BFF and dealing with a mother who tries to control her social life.
TRAITS:
Loyal
Good-sport
Subtext: ??
REVISED PROFILE
MAYA: Maya is an ambitious high school senior who has abandoned her longtime friends for popularity.
Ambitious
Cynical
Direct
Cowardly
Subtext: Maya wants success in life, but believes she has to be someone she isn’t to get it.
EVAN: Evan is a brilliant high school senior who secretly wants to be a rock star, but is being pushed by his old world parents into another career and life path.
Strategic
Defeatist
Creative
Obedient
Subtext: Evan is afraid to go against his parents wishes, so lives unhappily doing what they want him to do.
OLIVIA: Olivia is a high school senior who hides the fact she is a lesbian because she is tired of her mom’s controlling influence and drama.
Loyal
Private
Fighter
Mischievous
Subtext: Olivia’s dealt with a lot of family drama in her past that has caused her to withdraw, and she is not yet ready to be a grown-up and come out as a lesbian.
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Carolyn’s Full-Out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is…taking characters I think are pretty good and trying to make them even better is the goal of this class I believe. (Not just characters!) This was a great assignment! I found my original subtext became more useful in the descriptions and allowed me to make new subtext for the characters.
-BEFORE-
Description: Jess is a free-lance journalist who goes undercover at a wellness retreat to chase a story and finds a secret cabal of cannibals who plan to kill and eat her and the other clients.
Traits: Driven, curious, tenacious, anxious
Subtext Jess is secretly addicted to painkillers
-AFTER-
Description: Jess is a journalist and addicted to pain meds. She enters a wellness retreat presumably to kick her habit, but she’s really there to chase a story. What she finds is beyond her expectations: a cannibal cult runs the place and is secretly harvesting and eating the clients.
Traits: Curious, tenacious, stubborn, faints at the sight of blood
Subtext: Jess believes she is responsible for her parents dying in a car crash the year before.
-BEFORE-
Description: Nataly is 18 and ready to spread her wings and take on the adult world by quitting school and getting a job to help out her older sister who is paying the bills.
Traits: Naive, trusting, wants independence
Subtext: Judy has an intense need to please others.
-AFTER-
Description: Wanting to show her sister she can earn money, 18 year old Nataly quits school after being swayed by a mysterious new neighbor offering her cash to “help out” at private parties.
Traits: Naive, trusting, headstrong, wants to be taken seriously
Subtext: Judy wants money to buy nice things to make her feel good.
-BEFORE-
Description: Gisele is a gorgeous recruiter of “healthy flesh” for the organic cannibal club.
Traits: Conniving, defensive, secretive, sad
Subtext: Gisele is out for revenge and will do anything for it because she has nothing to lose.
-AFTER-
Description: Gisele is a gorgeous recruiter of “healthy flesh” for the organic cannibal club and is out for revenge against her stepfather who runs the club.
Traits: Conniving, rebellious, driven, secretive
Subtext: Gisele hates what she’s become, but she challenges herself to make the best of it.
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Michael Greco Full-Out Characters. Creative Mastery Lesson 11 8 4 21
WIL That Is Improving My Writing is that taking the character to the outer limits of her/his own psyche creates much greater interest and generates a lot more possibilities for advancing the story.
Working Characters’ Profiles 8 4 21
ROLLIE
Lover-Warrior, fiercely protective of those he cares about, overly willing to extend himself for those who don’t do nearly as much for him.
IRIS
Warrior; high-spirited, passionate, driven. Never Say Die tenacity. Strong flair for engaging people and sharing vision created by creative side persons.
ARGON
Domineering, aggressive, poses as leader because it’s the best job but lacks caring and attention to his tribe. Better at punishing than motivating.
Re-Worked Characters’ Profiles 8 4 21
ROLLIE
Fiercely protective of those he cares about, overly willing to extend himself for those who don’t do nearly as much for him. Simmering with anger at the world, given to occasional manic, violent outbursts.
IRIS
Warrior energy; high-spirited, passionate, driven. Never Say Die tenacity. Strong flair for engaging people and sharing vision created by creative side persons. Demanding of herself and those around her; perfectionist tendencies. Constantly cracking the whip on those around her to match her energy and effort level.
ARGON
Domineering, aggressive, poses as leader because it’s the best job but lacks caring and attention to his tribe. Better at punishing than motivating. Self-absorbed, expects all around him to think highly of him. Sadistic. Truly fashions the world a better place with him leading as many people as possible. Driven to have sexual relationships with men, and to keep that a secret.
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Henry Kana
Full out Characters
Henry Kana QE Scene 2 (Max Interest Techniques-Rev 3)
Logline: Two Archelogist hunt for ancient treasure which cause one to lose his life in the search
Essence: One treasure hunter takes advantage of another.
INT. HOUSTON MUSEUM OF ARCHOLOGY – CONFERENCE ROOM –DAY
Nick and Mary Ann are studying several maps on the conference room table.
Nick: I want you to make copies of all of these maps, especially the ones that show the existing temples, pyramids and grave yards. I don’t want John to get his hands on the originals. The more we keep between ourselves the better chance we stand to pull this off.
John sticks his head in the door way crack.
John: I am in the right place, Mrs. Livingston, I presume? (smiling)
Mary Ann: Yes, John, come in and join us.
Nick: Hi John
John: Hi!
Nick unfold a map of Central America and motions to John to come over. Nick points to Belieze.
Nick: That’s it. That’s where we going. (Pointing to a river on the map).
John: How do you know we will find any thing. I’m interested in finding King Zapata’s Treasure.
Nick: Look, last time I was down there I purchased this old map from a Shaman. (pointing to the old map on parchament)
John: How do you know it’s real. He could have been just making it all up. You know the jungle is a vast place down there.
Nick: Well, he told me the story handed down by his Grandfather and the map looks authentic. It only cost me $500.
John: That’s a well off Shaman. Let’s see, ten treasure hunter per month. Ten grand haul for the month, not bad. Did he have a Satellite Dish?
Nick: Yes, but they all do.
John: Ok, let’s get on with the plans. I will go down first and establish a base camp at our drop off point on the New River, assuming that where we are going.
Nick: Yes. Mary Ann will help you with permits and logistics.
Mary Ann: On it boss.
John and Mary Ann being to study the maps and been to make a list of equipment and supplies.
EXT. A MONTH LATER ON THE BANKS OF THE NEW RIVER – LATE EVENING
A small motorized dugout cruises along the banks of the New River. Suddenly a flury of arrows and spears fly from the jungle along the river bank. The dugout moves away from the bank and the arrows and spears fall harmlessly in the river. One or two arrow are stuck in the side of the boat. Nick stands up in the boat and shouts several commands in Spanish.
Nick: Alto! Mi Amigo! Alto!
Nick sits back down and the dugout continues puttering up the river.
John sits in a chair in front of a camp fire sipping on fresh steaming coffee. He is awaiting the arrival of Nick Jones, a competitor archeologist. A motorize dugout cruises up to a make shift dock. Out hops Nick.
Nick: Morning John, how are things? Making any progress? What’s with the angry natives. I thought this was a safe site.
John: Yes, it is. They are just blowing off steam cause they didn’t feel like they got enough compensation. Progress, you tell me, did you bring it? We will be lost without it.
Nick: Bring what? (Chuckling) I hope my secretary packed it? I told her to.
John: Damn you Nick. We can’t use the Stone and Rods without it.
Nick: I’m sure Mary Ann packed it. She was folding it up when I left the office. I sure it here in my travel bag.
John: Finding King Zapata’s treasure will be useless without that Map. With the winding trails, changes in elevations it will be like looking for a, “needle in a haystack.”
Nick: You have the Stone and Rods? Show me!
John crosses to a metal suitcase, places it on the camp table, and pops it open revealing a diamond shaped stone with two copper rods with eye pieces.
John: There you see, we kept safe till you got hear per our written agreement. Now where is the map?
Nick: Right here.
Nick opens his carry bag and pull out a folded piece of parchment. He unfolds it and places it on the camp table. John studies the map.
John: This doesn’t look like the original map you showed me months ago.
Nick: It is. It’s a copy, you don’t think I would bring an original to a snake and mosquito infested place like this. Besides, we could get jump by natives or bandits. They are already agitated about this.
John: Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been out here for two month and haven’t seen another soul except the natives I have working for me, and they go home every evening. Are you sure she copied the correct map and not a cheap thing off the street. There are at least a dozen fakes floating around out there.
Nick: I’m sure it is. If it wasn’t I’m not sure you could even identify it as a fake. Why don’t you study it tonight by the camp light and plot us a path to the treasure if you can or is that out of you ability.
John: One more comment like that and I’m going to make you see stars.
Nick: Ha, ha, ha. Better bring your native helpers. Study the map and we will set out in the morning to find the treasure. I’m turning in. I had a hard day’s travel. Good night.
John: Good night. Be sure to shake out your shoes in the morning. Scorpions and Spiders you know.
Nick: I didn’t fall off the wagon yesterday. Good night
Nick enters the camp tent. John sits at the table examining the map. He holds it up to the camp light to make sure it’s not a forgery. He flips the map over several times.
John: At least it not a fake, I hope?(Mumbling)
Ext: Mountain Trail Head – Day
After hiking and climbing through the jungle for about an hour, John and Nick stumble into an opening containing Mayan figures and many unusual looking stones.
John: Quick, look at the map, do any of the figures match.
Nick: Map, what map, you had it last night.
John: Ok, ok, just wanted to get a rise out of you.
Nick: This is your warning. Nextime pow or maybe a Saw Rasp Viper. Careful what you do.
John lays out the map and begins to move the stone and rods over the map. Nothing seems to fit exactly right.
Nick: Let me see those. You’re not holding them right.
Nick holds them over the map like divining rods. They cross, sparks fly and ignite the Maps.
John and Nick frantically slap at the burning map. They get it out but there are several wholes in the map.
John: You idiot.
John punches Nick in the nose.
Nick: Ouch, why did you do that.
John: You deserved it for burning those holes in the Map. Now look what your have done.
John holds up the map. The morning light shines through and lines up on several statues. The ground begins to shake and rumble. A Grave covers opens up a grave pit revealing gold, diamonds, rubies and ancient gold coins. The top of the jewels are covered with slithering snakes. John pulls out a professional snake catcher and begins to put the snakes in a burlap bag. He collects the most poisioness ones first and then on to the harmless one.
John: Good thing there weren’t very many poisioness one.
Nick: Jackpot.
Nick picks up the diamond shape stone and hits John over the head and knock him out cold. Nick empties his back pack and greedly fills it with gold, jewels and coins. He drags John unconconse body into the grave. Nick takes the stone and places it against the eye of the statues. The grave closes over John body. Nick slings his back pack and begins walking back down the trail.
Nick: (Softly Singing) Hiho, hiho, it’s home from work we go.
We can hear the muffled screams of John.
John: Come back here you thief, conniving conman. The authorities will catch you.
Nick: And who in the hell is going to tell them. Not me. Ha, Ha! And your in no position too.
Nick, with his shoulders back and a bounce in his step continues down the trail whistling.haracters
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Henry Kana
Inherrently Dramatic Characters and Max Interest Techniques
Henry Kana QE Scene 2 (Max Interest Techniques and Inherently Dramatic Character-Rev 5)
Logline: Two Archelogist hunt for ancient treasure which cause one to lose his life in the search
Essence: One treasure hunter takes advantage of another.
INT. HOUSTON MUSEUM OF ARCHOLOGY – CONFERENCE ROOM –DAY
Nick, a short dumpy, Rolly Polly man with a squeaky voice and Mary Ann, a tall slender red head with a deep raspy voice are studying several maps on the conference room table.
Nick: I want you to make copies of all of these maps, especially the ones that show the existing temples, pyramids and grave yards. I don’t want John to get his hands on the originals. The more we keep between ourselves the better chance we stand to pull this off.
John sticks his head in the door way crack.
John: I am in the right place, Mrs. Livingston, I presume? (smiling)
Mary Ann: Yes, John, come in and join us.
Nick: Hi John
John: Hi!
Nick unfold a map of Central America and motions to John to come over. Nick points to Belieze.
Nick: That’s it. That’s where we going. (Pointing to a river on the map).
John: How do you know we will find any thing. I’m interested in finding King Zapata’s Treasure.
Nick: Look, last time I was down there I purchased this old map from a Shaman. (pointing to the old map on parchament)
John: How do you know it’s real. He could have been just making it all up. You know the jungle is a vast place down there.
Nick: Well, he told me the story handed down by his Grandfather and the map looks authentic. It only cost me $500.
John: That’s a well off Shaman. Let’s see, ten treasure hunter per month. Ten grand haul for the month, not bad. Did he have a Satellite Dish?
Nick: Yes, but they all do.
John: Ok, let’s get on with the plans. I will go down first and establish a base camp at our drop off point on the New River, assuming that where we are going.
Nick: Yes. Mary Ann will help you with permits and logistics.
Mary Ann: On it boss.
John and Mary Ann being to study the maps and been to make a list of equipment and supplies.
Mary Ann: How long do you anticipate being there?
John: At least 6 months. Definitely need good water/rain proof tents. Two month of food and water. You will need to find a local supplier.
Mary Ann: I have already contacted the local Embassy and they have provided me with several contractors and supply house. We should be good to go.
John: Ok, I will leave in a couple of days and find some local guides that can get me there.
Mary Ann: There’s already an existing defunct archeology site at the drop off point. It should be pretty easy to find.
John: Make sure you purchase a couple of Satelite Phones. Don’t want to have to climb to the top of a hill when I have to call you.
Mary Ann: Sure thing, will do.
John takes a map and closes up his brief case. Exits the Conference Room.
Mary Ann: Do you think he suspects anything.
Nick: Not a chance.
EXT. A MONTH LATER ON THE BANKS OF THE NEW RIVER – LATE EVENING
A small motorized dugout cruises along the banks of the New River. Suddenly a flury of arrows and spears fly from the jungle along the river bank. The dugout moves away from the bank and the arrows and spears fall harmlessly in the river. One or two arrow are stuck in the side of the boat. Nick stands up in the boat and shouts several commands in Spanish.
Nick: Alto! Mi Amigo! Alto!
Nick sits back down and the dugout continues puttering up the river.
John sits in a chair in front of a camp fire sipping on fresh steaming coffee. He is awaiting the arrival of Nick Jones, a competitor archeologist. A motorize dugout cruises up to a make shift dock. Out hops Nick.
Nick: Morning John, how are things? Making any progress? What’s with the angry natives. I thought this was a safe site.
John: Yes, it is. They are just blowing off steam cause they didn’t feel like they got enough compensation. Progress, you tell me, did you bring it? We will be lost without it.
Nick: Bring what? (Chuckling) I hope my secretary packed it? I told her to.
John: Damn you Nick. We can’t use the Stone and Rods without it.
Nick: I’m sure Mary Ann packed it. She was folding it up when I left the office. I sure it here in my travel bag.
John: Finding King Zapata’s treasure will be useless without that Map. With the winding trails, changes in elevations it will be like looking for a, “needle in a haystack.”
Nick: You have the Stone and Rods? Show me!
John crosses to a metal suitcase, places it on the camp table, and pops it open revealing a diamond shaped stone with two copper rods with eye pieces.
John: There you see, we kept safe till you got hear per our written agreement. Now where is the map?
Nick: Right here.
Nick opens his carry bag and pull out a folded piece of parchment. He unfolds it and places it on the camp table. John studies the map.
John: This doesn’t look like the original map you showed me months ago.
Nick: It is. It’s a copy, you don’t think I would bring an original to a snake and mosquito infested place like this. Besides, we could get jump by natives or bandits. They are already agitated about this.
John: Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been out here for two month and haven’t seen another soul except the natives I have working for me, and they go home every evening. Are you sure she copied the correct map and not a cheap thing off the street. There are at least a dozen fakes floating around out there.
Nick: I’m sure it is. If it wasn’t I’m not sure you could even identify it as a fake. Why don’t you study it tonight by the camp light and plot us a path to the treasure if you can or is that out of you ability.
John: One more comment like that and I’m going to make you see stars.
Nick: Ha, ha, ha. Better bring your native helpers. Study the map and we will set out in the morning to find the treasure. I’m turning in. I had a hard day’s travel. Good night.
John: Good night. Be sure to shake out your shoes in the morning. Scorpions and Spiders you know.
Nick: I didn’t fall off the wagon yesterday. Good night
Nick enters the camp tent. John sits at the table examining the map. He holds it up to the camp light to make sure it’s not a forgery. He flips the map over several times.
John: At least it not a fake, I hope?(Mumbling)
Ext: Mountain Trail Head – Day
After hiking and climbing through the jungle for about an hour, John and Nick stumble into an opening containing Mayan figures and many unusual looking stones.
John: Quick, look at the map, do any of the figures match.
Nick: Map, what map, you had it last night.
John: Ok, ok, just wanted to get a rise out of you.
Nick: This is your warning. Nextime pow or maybe a Saw Rasp Viper. Careful what you do.
John lays out the map and begins to move the stone and rods over the map. Nothing seems to fit exactly right.
Nick: Let me see those. You’re not holding them right.
Nick holds them over the map like divining rods. They cross, sparks fly and ignite the Maps.
John and Nick frantically slap at the burning map. They get it out but there are several wholes in the map.
John: You idiot.
John punches Nick in the nose.
Nick: Ouch, why did you do that.
John: You deserved it for burning those holes in the Map. Now look what your have done.
John holds up the map. The morning light shines through and lines up on several statues. The ground begins to shake and rumble. A Grave covers opens up a grave pit revealing gold, diamonds, rubies and ancient gold coins. The top of the jewels are covered with slithering snakes. John pulls out a professional snake catcher and begins to put the snakes in a burlap bag. He collects the most poisioness ones first and then on to the harmless one.
John: Good thing there weren’t very many poisioness one.
Nick: Jackpot.
Nick picks up the diamond shape stone and hits John over the head and knock him out cold. Nick empties his back pack and greedly fills it with gold, jewels and coins. He drags John unconconse body into the grave. Nick takes the stone and places it against the eye of the statues. The grave closes over John body. Nick slings his back pack and begins walking back down the trail.
Nick: (Softly Singing) Hiho, hiho, it’s home from work we go.
We can hear the muffled screams of John.
John: Come back here you thief, conniving conman. The authorities will catch you.
Nick: And who in the hell is going to tell them. Not me. Ha, Ha! And your in no position too.
Nick, with his shoulders back and a bounce in his step continues down the trail whistling.
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Tom’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that improves my writing is it’s challenging to weave the plot and transition the characters into a structure that works well. This class is amazing.
BEN (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Ben struggles to work his farm. His young wife raises three grade school kids.
TRAITS: Strict, firm, happy go lucky, works hard at farming, leaves raising the kids to his wife.
SUBTEXT: He has a secret date once a week with one of the older women teachers at the kids’ school.
BEN (After)
DESCRIPTION: After his wife dies, he remarries, must life down his affair and can’t hide in farm work while his kids get used to their new Mom, and need to know Ben loves them.
TRAITS: Struggles to become be a real father to his kids.
SUBTEXT: When his wife dies, he woos the girl he left in college to marry his young wife.
KAREN (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Seasoned teacher grew up with Ben in this hard-working farm community.
TRAITS: Patient, friendly but firm, strict with students.
SUBTEXT: Wounded when Ben dropped her in college and married his younger wife.
KAREN (After)
DESCRIPTION: Overwhelmed when she becomes Ben’s wife and his kids’ new Mom.
TRAITS: Loving, understanding, adjusting.
SUBTEXT: It’s a challenge to be a good Mom to adopted kids who miss their “real” Mom.
MARK (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Ben’s brother employed on the farm is at odds with him over how to be successful.
TRAITS: Academic, naïve, caring, strong.
SUBTEXT: Believes his agricultural degree will enable him to help Ben make his farm a success.
MARK (After)
DESCRIPTION: Learns to adjust to the reality of a real farm operation.
TRAITS: Experienced, practical, more mature.
SUBTEXT: Realizes there’s more to a farming than what he learned in text books. #
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Tom’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that improves my writing is it’s challenging to weave the plot and transition the characters into a structure that works well. This class is amazing.
BEN (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Ben struggles to work his farm. His young wife raises three grade school kids.
TRAITS: Strict, firm, happy go lucky, works hard at farming, leaves raising the kids to his wife.
SUBTEXT: He has a secret date once a week with one of the older women teachers at the kids’ school.
BEN (After)
DESCRIPTION: After his wife dies, he remarries, must life down his affair and can’t hide in farm work while his kids get used to their new Mom, and need to know Ben loves them.
TRAITS: Struggles to become be a real father to his kids.
SUBTEXT: When his wife dies, he woos the girl he left in college to marry his young wife.
KAREN (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Seasoned teacher grew up with Ben in this hard-working farm community.
TRAITS: Patient, friendly but firm, strict with students.
SUBTEXT: Wounded when Ben dropped her in college and married his younger wife.
KAREN (After)
DESCRIPTION: Overwhelmed when she becomes Ben’s wife and his kids’ new Mom.
TRAITS: Loving, understanding, adjusting.
SUBTEXT: It’s a challenge to be a good Mom to adopted kids who miss their “real” Mom.
MARK (Before)
DESCRIPTION: Ben’s brother employed on the farm is at odds with him over how to be successful.
TRAITS: Academic, naïve, caring, strong.
SUBTEXT: Believes his agricultural degree will enable him to help Ben make his farm a success.
MARK (After)
DESCRIPTION: Learns to adjust to the reality of a real farm operation.
TRAITS: Experienced, practical, more mature.
SUBTEXT: Realizes there’s more to a farming than what he learned in text books. #
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Joe’s full-out characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is: taking already fully fleshed-out characters, it is still possible to give them a single more dramatic trait than any other trait they already possess makes them both stronger and more interesting.
Pick three characters
you’d like to be more dramatic. You’re going to write a “before and after”
for each character by doing #2 and #3 below.Morrigan, Vesta, Mint
Show their
CURRENT profile (like Jerrry’s) that lists a description, their core
traits, and their main subtext.CURRENT:
Morrigan
Description – Morrigan is a devious student of ancient magic
Traits – angry, manipulative, focused, haunted within
Subtext – Morrigan is intent on ruling humanity through fear
Vesta
Description – Vesta is a grieving mother who will see her husband through the transfer of power
Traits – confident, determined, maternal
Subtext – Vesta will help her husband attain the goal of passing on his gift.
Mint
Description – A brilliant bachelor who hides behind computers to prevent the pain of another failed relationship
Traits – reliable, curious, brilliant, fighter
Subtext – Mint wants to help his student but is unable to get past a failed relationship
REVISED
Morrigan
Description – Morrigan is a power-mad natural leader
Traits – angry, manipulative, focused, insane
Subtext – Morrigan will destroy the world to steal the power she feels she deserves.
Vesta
Description – Vesta is a grieving mother intent on revenge
Traits – confident, determined, maternal, bloodthirsty
Subtext – Vesta is a grieving mother who will see her daughter revenged if it’s the last thing she does
Mint
Description – Mint is a brilliant ancient studies scholar who will create the finest ancient scroll collection.
Traits – curious, brilliant, fighter, ancient scroll thief
Subtext – Mint is a scholar creating the finest collection of ancient manuscripts
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