Day 12 Assignment

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen has completed the BW Framework!

What I learned from doing this process is that when I tried to fill in parts of the chart from memory, I missed a LOT of the depth I had already built into the daily lessons. Doing this process in daily bites gave me a much more nuanced and complex framework.

[Tracy Cheney]

Tracy has completed the BW Framework!

I felt like I was repeating some components over and over, but never got to include others. I’m interested to see how this all plays out. BTW, this was not a simple cut and paste project to complete in 2 days. Working for hours, could barely finish in 3. And then, here’s the new assignment already in my email! This is a challenging pace, for sure. Not a complaint, just getting my brain up to speed, and uncramping my fingers from typing!

[Natasha Le Petit]

Natasha is ready for feedback!

What I learnt was how much I ‘over write’ :). It’s challenging but so important to be as concise as possible – I think I still have a long way to go with this. this assignment also made me focus on what was really important in my storyline and I came up with some new ideas for conflict and relationship hooks.

[Rob Sutherland]

Rob is ready for feedback!

What I learned doing this assignment is that collating all of the different elements into a few pages tends to distil what so far has been an overwhelming amount of information. It highlighted some gaps, and revealed possible juxtapositions between elements.

I found this valuable, and ended up trimming some elements and adding some new ones. It also highlighted that I need to find more ways to make my characters more empathetic in easy-to-see, concrete ways.

I’ve trimmed it as much as I can to keep it concise but also maintaining clarity (hopefully) but I think there’s probably plenty of room to trim it more.

[r. reid jr]

R. Reid Jr is ready for free feedback

What I learned from doing this assignment is I can always learn more and having this framework handy is going to help me write faster. And I can also see the relationships between my characters and what I can readily improve on in place to go back and improve upon.

[Jack Sherry]

Jack’s Intriguing Concept

What I learned from this assignment is the importance of Concept and keeping the intrigue and interest high over the length of the series

Present your Concept.

A. Engaging and highly proactive hero…

1. ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WANTS TO SAVE THE EVERGLADES

2. HEDGE FUND MANAGER WANTS TO DEFEAT THE HACKERS AND A FINANCIAL
CRASH

3. GENE EDITING SPECIALIST WANTS TO USE DNA FROM A 1500 YEAR OLD SKULL AND EDIT GENES

4. THREE CHILDREN GROW UP NOT KNOWING WHO THEY REALLY ARE

B. …up against a major conflict…

1. Kayla – Sugarcane
polluter has Haitian Voodoo wife who places curse

2. Victoria – Hackers are from Chinese government

3. Professor Matthews – DNA extraction from bones has never been
accomplished

4. The above characters go through emotional conflict because their children are not biologically who the parents thought

C. …goes on unique transformational journey

1. Kayla – Changes from
defensive victim of prejudice and no father to proactive – switches eggs
to prove her point about nurture vs nature in determining personality

2. Victoria – Changes from powerful financier to
victim mother, financial crash survivor

3. Professor Matthews – Changes from domineering professor to compassionate
grandfather

4. Children of the above go on their own transformational journeys after learning who they really are

D. …Into an intriguing world.

1. Kayla – Enters world of
Haitian voodoo as well as world of English royals

2. Victoria – Hacking, financial crashes, survival

3. Professor Matthews – Enters
world of gene-editing, embryo enhancement, human cloning 4. Children of the above enter each others world after discovering who they really are

Tell us the World of this show.

Unique Sub-World

1. Kayla – Haitian Voodoo of antagonist

2. Victoria – Financial survival of crashing economy

3. Professor Matthews – Celtic religion

Previously unexplored:

4. The 3 Children of the above creating their own worlds within their parents

Previously unexplored

1. Kayla – Fighting voodoo

2. Victoria – How to survive
a complete economic breakdown

3. Professor Matthews – Gene
editing, embryo enhancement, DNA from skeletons

4. The 3 children of the above exploring two worlds: The one they grew up with and the one they were supposed to grow up with

The unknown:

1. Kayla – Voodoo

2. Victoria – Worst economic crash ever

3. Prof Matthews – Gene editing, embryo enhancement, DNA from
skeletons

The unseen:

1. Kayla – A voodoo curse

2. Victoria – Not seeing the
economic crash come

3. Professor Matthews – Not
knowing what will happen with DNA from skeleton

Unheard of Dangers:

1. Kayla – voodoo curse

2. Victoria – Chinese government uses assassins to back up hackers

3. Prof Matthews – is secretly attacked for playing God

Reason to explore it: Many Unique and interesting worlds

[Jack Sherry]

Jack has completed his BW Framework

What I learned from this assignment is by using the template I can easily compile the information necessary to outline and write the script and the pitch.

[Sharon Scherle]

Jean has completed the BW Framework!

What I learned doing this assignment is that compiling all the past assignments up to this point into one concise document helps see where any points need work. It will be handy to have this form moving forward, instead of having to refer back to multiple documents.

[Elizabeth Appell]

(3 Main Character Version)

Concept: (Pre-Lesson 2)

A. Mid-list writer desperate for an intriguing concept for second novel…

B. becomes suspect when history teacher murdered…

C. discovers his wife might be the murderer…

D. which causes him to defend her and doing so finds the concept he’s needed for the new book.

Intriguing World: (Pre-Lesson 2)

A. The unexplored world of a private boarding school for girls…

B. through the eyes of the literature teacher dealing with adolescent girls, one obsessively in love with him…

C. forcing him to decline her overtures which send her to the third floor from which she jumps.

Circles of Characters: (Lesson 2)

A. Main Characters: Lane Baer, Marta Baer, (wife of Lane), Paige Baer, (Daughter of Lane and Marta, 16-years-old)

B. Connected Characters: Cristian Savate, Margaret Gilgood, Detective Pearl, Leylah Hafez (Obsessed student)

C. Environment Characters: Marion Dryden, Mrs. Remmeter, Lawrence Baer, Sergeant Rand, girls at school

Character 1: Lane Baer

Engaging (Lesson 3)

A. Role in the show: Father, desperate writer

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Writer, used to dealing with female students

C. Moral Issue: Using the death of Savage in second novel.

D. Unpredictable: Uses Leylah as muse

E. Empathetic: Buckles to Margaret Gilgood

Intriguing Layers (Lesson 4)

A. Hidden Agendas: Uses Laylah strange force to write his book

B. Competition: Gilgood’s observing him

C. Conspiracy: Marion admires Lane and secretly gives him key to Gilgood’s office.

D. Secrets: His attraction to Leylah

E. Deception: In beginning, convinces Gilgood he’s on her page.

F. Wound: Father continually told Lane he’d never make it as a writer.

G. Secret Identity:

Emotional Depth (Lesson 5)

A. Hope / Fear: Write a bestseller, the family will implode.

B. Want / Need: To be a strong man/to keep his family head’s above water.

C. Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask: Anger/a kind, understanding man

D. Weaknesses: To be desired/to stand up for himself

E. Triggers: Being disrespected

F. Coping Mechanism: Lying to family; bold with Gilgood Character 2: Marta Baer

Engaging

A. Role in the show: Wife, Lane’s editor

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Editor, make-up changes her behavior

C. Moral Issue: As mother must protect Paige from Savage

D. Unpredictable: Turns into a siren

E. Empathetic: Seen as a Plain Jane all her life.

Intriguing Layers

A. Hidden Agendas: Had a make-up and knows what she becomes when she uses it.

B. Competition: thinks Lane attracted to young girls

C. Conspiracy: Cosmetic saleswoman teaches Marta how to use make-up and how to dress

D. Secrets: Her attraction to Savage

E. Deception: Hides fact she took latex gloves and Lane’s gun to Savage’s apartment.

F. Wound: Parents told her she’s not smart or pretty.

G. Secret Identity: to young man on street she takes on her siren identity

Emotional Depth

A. Hope / Fear: Lane won’t leave her/she’ll survive life in jail.

B. Want / Need: To be hired as an editor/get out of jail

C. Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask: believes Paige guilty/guilty of the murder

D. Weaknesses: Subservient to Lane

E. Triggers: Paige might be guilty

F. Coping Mechanism: Lies to Police Character 3: Paige Baer

Engaging

A. Role in the show: Daughter, dangerous

B. Unique Purpose / Expertise: Fearless

C. Moral Issue: Will do anything to protect her father

D. Unpredictable: Loves her mother but her father will always come first

E. Empathetic: Caring for her father, tries to be caring for her mother.

Intriguing Layers

A. Hidden Agendas: Wants to keep Savage away from her mother.

B. Competition: her mother over her father

C. Conspiracy: her father tells Paige to not tell the police Marta went to Savage’s.

D. Secrets: knows about Trichloroethane

E. Deception: Accuses Savage of rape.

F. Wound: Raised by an emotionally absent mother

G. Secret Identity: She becomes sweet young girl.

Emotional Depth

A. Hope / Fear: She can her father to herself/he’ll go to jail.

B. Want / Need: Her father to be innocent/to not feel guilty about telling police about her mother.

C. Base Negative Emotion / Public Mask: nasty teen girl/ good girl/ fear the police

D. Weaknesses: Can’t tell truths from lies

E. Triggers: Her parents’ arguments

F. Coping Mechanism: Listen to loud music, sleep

Empathy / Distress (Lesson 7)

A. Undeserved misfortune. Married to mentally unstable woman; weak reviews of first book.

B. External Character conflicts. Marta arrested for murder; Lane has nothing to do with Leylah’s suicide attempt.

C. Plot intruding on life. The plot of first book makes him look guilty; Police breathing down their necks.

D. Moral dilemmas. When Marta in jail he’s free of her/ hire expensive lawyer to free her. Marta: keep up her guilty ruse, which is hard on her family, especially Paige.

E. Forced decisions they’d never make. Make Leylah lie that he wasn’t with her on night of murder; sneak into Gilgood’s office to find incriminating files.

Relationship Hooks (Lesson 6)

Looking at your Relationship Map, what major hooks could show up?

Character 1/Character 2: Lane/Gilgood – Gilgood has video of Lane convincing Leylah to lie for him.

Major hook/hot button: When Lane discovers Marta went to Savage’s with gloves and HIS gun. Was she trying to set him up?

Mystery (Lesson 8)

Type 1: Shocking Event

A. Shocking Event: Savage’s murder.

B. Secret: Knows Marta attracted to Savage.

C. Investigation: Police interrogate the family seperately

Type 2: Over Time

A. Cover up:

B. Secret:

C. Reveals:

Potential Layers (Lesson 10)

PLOT LAYERS – Story beneath the story.

– Major scheme revealed. Lane will use the murder as the main story in the new book.

– Mystery revealed. Finally the murderer is revealed: Paige

– Thought the story was one thing, but it is another. The story about Lane peeling the onion for a new book; the real story is how this family survive being accused of murder of Christian Savage.

– Major shift in Meaning: Marta takes on the burden of guilt

– Hidden history: Paige has a rap sheet

– Hidden plan – Lane wants Paige to keep quiet about her mother

CHARACTER LAYERS – identity beneath the identity.

– Secret identity – Lane tries to hide his need for success.

Intrigue surrounding the character- Lane has to deal with his unstable wife, his dangerously fearless daughter, the obsessive senior student, Leylah, and the control freak, Margaret Gilgood.

– Hidden relationships – the time he spends with Leylah in his office.

– Hidden Character history – Lane was arrested for assault.

– New alliances – when he meets Savage they quickly form a friendship.

Open Loops (Lesson 9)

Will Savage’s murderer be brought to justice?

Will Paige tell the truth about the rape?

Will Leylah lie for Lane?

Will Leylah survive the jump off the roof?

Will Margaret Gilgood’s written confession save the Baer family?

Will Lane be rehired at the school?

Will Lane’s new book hit the bestseller list?

Will Lane’s father finally respect him?

Will Paige make peace with her mother?

Will Paige Baer be found as the murderer?

Irony (Lesson 11)

Character Irony:

Lane’s appearance as a good teacher/ Really only works to provide for his family.

Values versus Needs

Lane presents himself as a teacher/Actually he becomes entwined the Leylah.

Situational Irony:

Paige appears to be bright and good but is dangerous and without scruples.

To keep Paige out of jail, she gives up her freedom.

To avoid Paige being jailed, by cause the whole family to live in practical isolation.