Day 12 Assignment

[Sharon Scherle]

Jean’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is that using this format helped me find holes in my outline and also find areas that needed better intrigue.

The Vault Outline

TEASER

EXT. Colonial Philadelphia Street – Day: Intriguing World

A gangly teen Benjamin Franklin locks the printshop.

Mystery: Colonial America for a science fiction show?

Setup: Why young Ben Franklin?

EXT. Narrow Alleyway – Continuous: Secret Identity

Tanner dressed in Colonial wear spots Ben, his target. Tanner moves with stealth, definitely military training, out of place with the time period. Ben leaves the shop whistling. Tanner moves and we see a strange metal tattoo behind his left ear. He goes to cross the street, gets stopped by buggies, loses track of Ben.

Open Loop: The tattoo is an integral part of Vault Agency.

Mystery: Who is Tanner? Why is he focused on Ben, a nobody? What’s with the strange tattoo?

Empathy/Distress: Is Tanner going to hurt/kill Ben?

Irony: Even though Tanner wears the clothes, he stands out as different.

Setup: We are about to be introduced to a time traveler on a mission.

EXT. Colonial Philadelphia Street – Continuous: Imminent Threat

Two mean-looking men spy Ben’s satchel – easy pickings – and drag Ben into a narrow alleyway to kill him. They rip off his satchel looking for money/valuables. Out spills papers, drawing of inventions and poetry.

Mystery: What is Tanner going to do?

Empathy/Distress: Will Ben get hurt? How is Ben going to get away unharmed?

Irony: But Ben didn’t die in history.

Setup: Up until now, we don’t know who the young man is, but the spilled papers are a clue.

EXT. Alleyway – Day: Mystery

Tanner takes out both men with military precision while Ben fumbles to put his glasses back on. It’s not Ben’s day to die. Tanner quotes a saying by an older Ben and vanishes, leaving a confused Ben behind.

Open Loop: Tanner’s strange disappearance is unexplained and not possible.

Mystery: Who is this guy? Where did he go?

Empathy/Distress: Tanner saves Ben, a helpless youth.

Payoff: Tanner’s purpose is revealed: to save Ben because Ben’s not supposed to die. Tanner changed the timeline.

Irony: The quote Tanner uses is one that an older Ben had written. The young Ben asks if he can use it. It’s a loop that Tanner set in motion.

Setup: Changing Ben’s timeline shows the premise of Vault Agency.

ACT 1

EXT. Manhattan Street Financial Building – Day: Mystery

Sharra listens to a father and a teenager discuss his future, then a professional couple meeting for the first time. She wonders about chance versus destiny. Not watching her path, she collides with Lazarus. He quickly apologizes while pickpocketing her keys, accidentally dropping his pocket watch inside her pocket. We see a signet ring on his hand. Further down, Lazarus gives Tanner the keys and points out Sharra as she enters the office building.

Open Loop: Tanner is now in the present time. How is this possible?

Mystery: Why does this stranger steal Sharra’s keys?

Setup: the pocket watch.

Setup: the signet ring.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra is a target. We know because we’ve seen Tanner target Ben in the teaser. But we don’t know why yet.

Payoff:

Irony: The watch is the catalyst that starts J.D Dash on the path to destroying Sharra, ultimately ensuring that she joins Vault Agency, the thing he is there to prevent.

Setup: The pocket watch has clues on it to who Lazarus really is and from what time period.

INT. Finance Office – Day: Mystery

Sharra finds the watch in her coat pocket. Realizes it’s valuable. Looks back as if to go after the man but turns back to the watch. Reads the inscription on the back. Notices the time. Sets it on her desk with her stuff. Oops! She’s late and hurries off for…

Open Loop: The watch is from Lazarus’ old life, the inscription from his wife.

Mystery: Who was that man and will Sharra find him again?

Empathy/Distress: She realizes it’s an antique but doesn’t know what to do?

Payoff: She finds the pocket watch.

Irony:

Setup: The watch will bring Lazarus and Sharra together.

INT. Conference Room – Day: Deception

The room is full of staff. J.D. Dash smiles at her. She smiles and gives him a little wave. One of the bosses, Robert Read lists the qualities of the person up for promotion. The company slogan of Honesty Before All Else. Sharra slips inside. Sharra smiles, embarrassed at the praise, holding back her excitement; she thinks it’s her. She rattles off some facts: re her perfect memory. Read makes a joke about it. Read announces another staff member. Sharra can’t believe it and leaves in a huff. Dash follows her out.

Open Loop: Sharra has a relationship with Dash but we don’t know if it’s just workmates or something more.

Setup: The Company slogan: Honesty Before All Else.

Mystery:

Irony: All the qualities Read lists are the same ones Lazarus lists later on that apply to Sharra.

Setup: Read looks at Sharra as he speaks. She prepares to accept the promotion.

Setup: Sharra uses her perfect memory to spout off information, which Read then makes a comment on.

Payoff: The promotion goes to someone else. Sharra is rightfully upset. Read has been playing her.

Empathy/Distress: We feel for Sharra. It seems she deserved the promotion.

INT. Finance Office – Day: Deception

Sharra is on the computer, searching for a new career, something with adventure where she will be appreciated. She feels robbed. Dash offers his condolences, notices the watch, recognizes the miniature inside, grows wary. She notices, questions him, but Dash distracts her with an offer to feel out his connections for another position for her.

Open Loop: Sharra doesn’t know it, but Dash is not a good person. He is there to stop her from joining Vault Agency. He is pretending to like her.

Setup: Sharra’s search for a job where she will be appreciated. Dash jumps on board to help.

Mystery: Dash reacts to the watch. He recognizes the woman in the miniature.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra feels robbed of the promotion. Dash is being helpful, but there is a hardness in his eyes when she’s not looking.

Payoff: Dash distracts Sharra with the offer to feel out his connections.

Irony: Dash’s offer to help her find another position nudges her in the direction of Vault Agency, just what he’s there to stop.

INT. Sharra’s Apartment – Day: Hidden Layer

The lock clicks. The door opens and Tanner slips in. He scopes out the room – one family photo, a faded quilt, a few time-travel novels, plants – a lonely existence. He sighs and shakes his head. He hides a camera bug behind the picture and slips out, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Setup: The time travel novels, the photo, the quilt all mean something.

Open Loop: The one photo – the Lane family – with Sharra in the center of the small circle symbolizes the problem and the solution to the whole show.

Empathy/Distress: We can see that Sharra leads a lonely existence. She doesn’t have roots. The camera means they are going to spy on Sharra.

Mystery: Why is Sharra being bugged? What are these strangers looking for?

Payoff: Bugging her place, that’s why he took Sharra’s keys.

EXT. Financial Building – Day: Hidden Agenda

It’s that 5 o’clock foot traffic. Sharra leaves the building along with other workers. She sees a hot guy staring at her – Tanner – loses her composure and drops some papers. Tanner rushes over to help. Tanner slips her keys back into her purse. Notices the papers are job applications. Bad day. His company is looking for someone, gives her a Vault Agency business card. He’s the second person offering her a job. The logo is the same as Tanner’s tattoo. Tanner disappears into the crowd of pedestrians. The logo shimmers. Sharra is drawn to it. Touches it. It zaps her. It’s weird.

Setup: Tanner is waiting for Sharra for the purpose to get her to come to see Lazarus.

Open Loop: Sharra’s strange reaction to the logo foreshadows her connection to the Vault.

Mystery: Why are they interested in Sharra? She’s an accountant. And what’s with Sharra’s reaction to the logo?

Empathy/Distress: It’s nice that a stranger helps Sharra out, but we know he may not have good intentions.

Payoff: Now we see that Tanner’s tattoo and the Vault Agency logo are one in the same.

Irony:

INT. Sharra’s Apartment Living Room – Day: Wound

Sharra enters, shuts the door, and throws her satchel on the couch. Her eyes land on the photo. It’s out of place. She adjusts it, almost touching the camera, but pauses to look at it. It’s her parents, a younger her and her brother. She touches her mom. Moves away. Then, remembers the business card. She removes it from her coat pocket. It zaps her like the first time. It makes her curious. She opens her laptop, googles Vault Agency, comes up with a website. Looks Interesting. She dials the agency’s phone number.

Setup: Her grief/loss is obvious. It’s what will drive her to make the mistakes that create the loop none of them realize they are caught in.

Open Loop: Again, the odd connection to the logo.

Mystery: What happened to her parents, her brother?

Empathy/Distress: It’s obvious something happened to her family. Especially her mom. Sharra comes close to discovering the camera but doesn’t.

Payoff: Her curiosity wins out and she does what Tanner set her up to do – contact Vault Agency.

Irony:

INT. Lazarus’ Office – Same Time

Lazarus watches Sharra on a Com-Link as he talks to her.

INT. Faolan’s Townhouse Foyer – Night: Mystery

It’s London 1825. Faolan enters and is met by his butler, Mr Hobbs. Faolan’s clothes speak of a night out on the town. Faolan removes his top hat, grimaces in pain, and gives it and his cane to Hobbs. Hobbs notices blood on Faolan’s cuff. Faolan moves stiffly up the stairs, dismissing his concerned butler.

Mystery: Who is this man from 1825? What does he have to do with Sharra and the future?

Empathy/Distress: There is blood on his clothes. Is it his? It must be because he’s trying to hide that he’s in pain.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The blood had to come from a fight.

Open Loop: We don’t know it yet, but he’s just met Sharra on a mission gone bad and he’s stepped in to save her and Tanner. We won’t see this scene until the next episode.

INT. Faolan’s Bedroom – Night: Strange Behavior

Faolan drops the ‘nothing’s wrong’ act. He opens his coat – his shirt is soaked – blood! He reveals a stab wound on his side. The housekeeper, Mrs. Hobbs, arrives with water and bandages, from Mr. Hobbs. After she leaves, Faolan removes a suitcase buried in his armour and sets it on the bed. Snaps it opened. Pauses. Grim. Whatever is inside can’t be good. He lifts out a black uniform jacket. Totally not 1825. He turns it. The Vault logo is imprinted on the chest and arm.

Open Loop:

Mystery: How long has he had the uniform hidden? Why is he bringing it out now, especially when he’s not happy about it?

Empathy/Distress: He’s been stabbed! It looks serious.

Irony: His decision to step back into the uniform draws him back into the thick of things, the one thing he’s sworn he’d never do again.

Setup: His reaction to the jacket tells how he feels about Vault Agency. He’s definitely got a beef against someone or the Agency itself.

Payoff: We don’t know how yet, but he’s somehow connected to Vault Agency.

ACT 2

EXT. Manhattan – Office Building – Day: Secret Identity

Sharra steps out of a taxi and heads to the door of the impressive building, a bit intimidated. Tanner, hiding behind a cup of coffee off to the side, watches her. He touches a hidden metal device attached to his tattoo and links with Lazarus, informing him the target is on her way. He throws his cup in the trash and follows Sharra from a discreet distance.

Open Loop:

Setup: We see that the tattoo serves a purpose. But how does it work?

Mystery: Tanner can communicate to Lazarus with a futuristic device attached to his tattoo.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra is being watched. She’s a target.

Payoff:

Irony:

INT. Office Building Reception Area – Day

The reception points Sharra to the West Wing. She heads down the corridor. The second elevator opens. Tanner gets out and follows, staying back.

INT. West Wing – Day: Mystery

Sharra stops at Vault Agency’s door. She looks back. Tanner quickly sits, holding a magazine up to hide his face. Sharra’s finger brushes the logo on the card and gets zapped again. Blames it on static. She is nervous. Big breath, then knocks.

INT. Executive Suite – Day: Hidden Layers

Sharra enters. The office is elegant and masculine. Bejeweled ancient weaponry are on display in glass columns. Sharra can’t help but gawk. Sharra recognizes Lazarus as the man who she bumped into. She thinks it’s luck and gives him his watch back. He’s grateful. It breaks the awkwardness. Lazarus gets down to business, gives her a Vault contract. He lists her qualities from a file. Lazarus mentions Grayson. She flinches at the name. She hasn’t seen him in years. He promises adventure, interesting places and people, stimulating work, a place she can use her perfect memory ability to the fullest. She isn’t convinced it’s for her, doesn’t think she qualifies, yet agrees to take the weekend to think about it.

Payoff: Sharra recognizes Lazarus as the man she bumped into and gives him his watch.

Setup: Sharra thinks it’s luck, but it’s the destiny she thought about earlier but doesn’t know it yet.

Mystery: Why is the weaponry important to Lazarus? And the watch?

Payoff: Lazarus lists the same qualities as Read did and applies them to Sharra.

Open Loop: There is something about Grayson…

Empathy/Distress: Sharra is uncomfortable talking about her brother.

Irony: Lazarus lists the same qualities as Read did and applies them to Sharra, saying she is a perfect candidate for the position. It soothes her self-esteem.

Setup: Lazarus warns her to keep the contract safe. It contains sensitive material and can damage the safety of the Agency.

INT. West Wing – Continuous

Sharra remembers the card, but it’s too late. The door is shut. She shakes her head and moves down the hallway

INT. Executive Suite – Day: Conspiracy

Tanner meets Lazarus at the minibar. Lazarus pours a whiskey for himself. Tanner agrees with Sharra – she’s not a good candidate for the Agency, pointing out her nice-girl-next-door feel. Lazarus disagrees, knowing differently, pointing out that none of them were in the beginning. Lazarus reminds Tanner what his job is. Tanner isn’t happy about it.

Payoff: We now see Tanner and Lazarus’ relationship/position in the Agency.

Open Loop: Tanner and Lazarus have a disagreement about Sharra’s recruitment.

Mystery: Why does Lazarus insist that Sharra will be an asset when it’s obvious she doesn’t fit the stereotype?

Empathy/Distress: Tanner argues that Sharra doesn’t fit, he sees what she is now – just an innocent, inexperienced girl.

Irony: Tanner thinks of Sharra as a nobody by outward appearance. Lazarus knows her true worth.

Setup: Tanner has a job and it has something to do with Sharra. He may not agree with Lazarus but he obeys.

INT. Financial Office – Day: Secret

Sharra works on her computer. An email pops up from her boss. She reads it, realizing that it wasn’t meant for her, but opens the attached file labeled: retirement funds. She quickly realizes the spreadsheet of figures is evidence that her boss is embezzling millions. She’s shocked. She hears her boss’s voice. He’s coming her way. She finds a USB stick and with nervous fingers gets it into the slot. Reads stops to chat with an employee. Sharra copies the file willing it to hurry and finish. Reads is at her desk. She gets up with her coffee mug and blocks his view, discreetly sliding a piece of paper over the USB stick. He notices her odd behavior but dismisses it and moves on. The file finishes loading. She gets out of the email and removes the USB stick.

Setup: The email is not meant for Sharra.

Irony: If she never got the email, she would’ve never found out about the embezzlement and would have stayed.

Empathy/Distress: Will Read catch Sharra? What will he do to her?

Payoff: The company slogan: Honest Before All Else is a lie.

Irony: Read who spouts honestly as every turn is a thief and a liar.

Open Loop: Sharra has the USB stick and the information on it is explosive.

Mystery: What will Sharra do with the information?

INT. Vault Main Corridor – Day: Mystery

A distressed Tanner rushes to Cam. It’s Sharra. She’s hurt. He’s upset, blames himself. Blames the Vault. They hear a hum through the wall. Someone has returned.

Setup: This is a future scene that we won’t see until a later episode.

Open Loop: Sharra is something more to Tanner. When did this happen?

Mystery: Where are they? What happened to Sharra? When are they? How did Sharra get there?

Empathy/Distress: Something bad has happened to Sharra. Tanner has feelings for her.

Setup: We meet Cam, the head medic. Something is off about his behavior.

Payoff: Someone has returned.

Irony: Tanner doesn’t like Sharra. Or that is what we think.

Setup: The strange hum through the wall.

Mystery: What is that hum and what does it mean?

INT. Vault Chamber – Continuous: Intriguing World

Faolan in a Vault uniform is pressed against the arch entrance, listening. The hum comes from behind him. Electrical – alive – alien. He peeks out. Spots Tanner and Cam, and listens. He waits for them to turn and then slips across the corridor.

Setup: We don’t get to see the room he’s in but we get the sense that it’s huge and something very important is making that humming noise.

Open Loop: Whatever is making that hum is central to the workings of the Vault.

Mystery: Where is he? What is making that noise that we cannot see? Why is Faolan hiding from Tanner and Cam?

Empathy/Distress: Will Faolan get caught?

Payoff:

Irony:

INT. Terminex – Continuous: Hidden Agenda

Faolan steals a Com-Link from a duffle bag. Gets onto one of the futuristic terminals and activates the screen. Works it like a pro – a headshot of Lazarus comes up. Faolan pauses on it. Resentment flashes across his face before he moves on. He swipes up the recruit applicant files. Onto Sharra’s. He recognizes her. Gets Sharra’s recruitment location, date, and pivotal point. He overrides the Com-link, activating his personal computer program, Ailbe. She missed him. Has her transfer Sharra’s file to the unit with a promise of a new mission. He swipes the terminal off.

Setup: He steals a Com-Link

Open Loop: Faolan knows his way around the place.

Mystery: Why is Faolan interested in Sharra’s recruitment information? What does he know that we don’t? How does he know Sharra?

Empathy/Distress: From the way he reacts to his personal program, we can tell that he’s been gone a long time. She has missed him and he has missed her too.

Payoff: He overrides the Com-Link and we are introduced to his personal program.

Irony: He has a personal relationship with a computer program over people.

INT. Main Corridor – Continuous

All clear. Faolan hurries across and disappears through the marble archway. A strange hum returns, grows louder. A flash of light. Then darkness. The hum slows.

INT. Sharra’s Apartment Living Room – Day: Suspicion

Sharra looks over the Vault contract. Something about it doesn’t seem right. She gets on her laptop and does a deeper google search, Lazarus Maitland. Comes up with a name from the 1700s. There is a photo of a painting of younger Lazarus with the woman from the watch. It’s an odd coincidence. She thinks he’s stolen the identity. She puts the contract away. It’s a no. She looks at the USB stick and picks up her cell phone, calls Dash. Asks him out.

Open Loop: Lazarus is a man from a different time, but Sharra isn’t in the know yet.

Mystery: Who is Lazarus Maitland?

Setup: She googles Lazarus Maitland. Comes up with someone from 1700s England.

Irony: She doesn’t know it, but the information she found about Lazarus is true.

Empathy/Distress: She thinks Lazarus has stolen the identity and doesn’t trust him or the agency.

Setup: There is the problem of the USB stick. It doesn’t sit well with her.

INT. Restaurant – Day: Hidden Agenda

Dash holds Sharra’s seat out for her. A gentleman. They order drinks. He thinks it’s a date… until Sharra gets down to business, re: the embezzlement, and is looking for help. She’s afraid of Read and what he will do to her. Dash is quick to tell her about an opening in Chicago. It would be a promotion. He’ll arrange everything. Sharra is grateful. She has to do something first and leaves. Dash smirks.

Setup: Dash seems for real, like he’s interested in Sharra as a girlfriend.

Setup: Dash has found her a job in Chicago. It would be a promotion.

Open Loop: Dash has his own agenda concerning Sharra but we don’t know what it is yet.

Mystery: Why is Dash so keen on helping Sharra? Why get her a job so far away when he seems to have feelings for her?

Empathy/Distress: Sharra is afraid of what Read will do if he finds out she knows.

Payoff: Sharra agrees to take the job in Chicago. Just what Dash was hoping. He’s not into her. It’s just a ruse.

Irony:

EXT. Manhattan Battery Park – Seaglass Carousel – Night: Intriguing World

A generic amusement park song plays. Children and parents enjoy the carousel ride. A strange vacuum disturbs the air nearby. Faolan magically appears. He drops to a crouch. No one notices him. He stands. They are at the far corner of the ½ mile point. Ailbe informs him the target is ten minutes away. He starts to run in that direction.

Payoff: This is the first time we actually see the shift happen – what was hinted at back in Colonial Philadelphia and at the Vault facilities.

Open Loop: Sharra is the target, but why?

Empathy/Distress: He doesn’t want to draw attention to his sudden appearance.

Mystery: How did Faolan get from 1825 England to present Manhattan? Why didn’t he appear right where he needed to be?

Setup: The ½ mile mark is important but we don’t know why yet only that it has something to do with the shift.

Irony: He talks to Ailbe like she’s a real person. It’s cute but sad.

EXT. Vault Office Building – Night: Imminent Threat

The taxi leaves. Sharra checks the mace can in her pocket. Satchel over her shoulder, she heads to the door. Out of nowhere, a dark form hits her, knocking her off balance, and grabs the satchel. She comes face to face with Jerad Conway. No time for mace. Sharra runs to the door, but Jerad jerks her back by the strap of the satchel. He stabs her, giving her a message to desist, and rips off the satchel, and takes off. Sharra is left gasping.

Open Loop: The message is from someone who doesn’t want her involved with Vault Agency.

Setup: The mugger relays a threatening message for her to desist.

Mystery: Who is Jerad Conway? Who hired him?

Empathy/Distress: Sharra gets attacked, stabbed, her satchel stolen. And left with a threatening message.

Payoff: Sharra remembers Lazarus’ warning about keeping the contract safe. She is forced to make a tough decision.

Irony:

ACT 3

EXT. Office Building – Side Courtyard – Night

Faolan jogs from the back street. He hears Sharra yelling and ducks behind a cement partition.

EXT. Office Building – Front – Continuous: Hidden Layer

Sharra is up and stumbling after the mugger. She loses a shoe. Desperate – re: the contract. Jerad is at the edge of the building and disappears around the corner. Sharra throws off the other shoe and sprints after Jerad.

Open Loop: The security and secrecy of Vault Agency are of utmost importance and for a good reason which we’ll learn about later.

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Sharra, though hurt, chases after a dangerous man.

Setup: Sharra’s character comes to the fore: the safety of Vault Agency, something she knows very little about but feels obligated towards, comes before her own safety.

Payoff: Lazarus’ warning about the contract in the wrong hands forces Sharra to act.

Irony: Sharra is stabbed in the same place as Faolan.

EXT. Office Building – Side Courtyard – Night: Hidden Layers

Jerad looks back and smiles. Big mistake. Faolan leaps out, overpowers Jerad, pressing a PEN to his neck. Jerad goes limp. Faolan drags him to the partition, ducking as Sharra appears. She touches her side. There is blood on her hands. Faolan grows alarmed, he wants to go to her but holds back. She turns around and disappears around the corner. He asks Ailbe about the injury. There is no record of it. Faolan checks behind the mugger’s ear – no tattoo. Finds a note, someone hired him. He gets the mugger’s address from his license, takes a wad of money out, and Sharra’s satchel. He heads to the front, but a loved-up couple block his way. He turns around…

Payoff: Faolan finds himself involved again in Sharra’s business/trouble. It’s not his reason for coming.

Open Loop: Faolan has feelings for Sharra.

Mystery: What is Sharra to Faolan? He obviously has some connection to her.

Empathy/Distress: Faolan wants to go to Sharra but for some reason holds back. We can see his internal struggle.

Mystery: Who hired Jerad? Was it Read?

Payoff: No record in the Vault’s system of Sharra’s injury which Faolan finds odd.

Setup: Faolan checks for a tattoo behind Jerad’s ear. Nothing.

Mystery: Why would Faolan check? What is he thinking?

Irony: Though Jerad isn’t a Vault agent, the one who hired Jerad is, but we don’t find that out until the end of the episode.

Setup: the loved-up couple are in Faolan’s way. He has to change direction.

Payoff: Faolan has Sharra’s satchel and Jerad’s address. He’s now definitely involved.

EXT. Office Building – Back Street – continuous

…and hails a taxi. It pulls up and he hops in. The taxi drives away.

EXT. Office Building – Front – Night

Still holding her side, Sharra picks up her discarded shoes, grimacing.

INT. Elevator – Night:

Sharra leans back against the wall. Looks at her bloody hand. It trembles. She opens her coat. So much blood! Panic! Her hand goes back over the wound. She makes an effort to calm down. The elevator dings. She takes a deep breath and stumbles out.

INT. Executive Suite – Night: Intriguing World

Lazarus opens the door and catches Sharra as she passes out. He lays her on the couch and Links Tanner. Tanner jokes about recruitment trouble already not realizing Lazarus is serious. Lazarus tells him to bring Cam and a med-kit and a woman’s white dress shirt. Lazarus lifts the compress, checks the wound, it’s bad, and presses the compress back down.

Open Loop:

Mystery: Why doesn’t he call an ambulance?

Empathy/Distress: We can hear Lazarus’ urgency. We can see Sharra’s blood and the wound.

Payoff: We get to see how the tattoo link actually works.

Irony:

Setup: Calling Cam instead of the local ambulance will show how Vault Agency doesn’t need any outside help for anything.

Seconds Later:

Tanner burst in with Cam carrying a med-kit. Cam does a quick exam and seals the wound with a glue gun from the future. Cam wants to bring Sharra back to the Vault but Lazarus won’t allow it. The situation convinces Tanner of Sharra’s unsuitability. An angry Lazarus puts Tanner in his place. He sends Tanner to go back in time to stop the mugging. Tanner wants to get a piece of this guy for hurting Sharra. Tanner leaves. Lazarus and Cam remove Sharra’s coat.

Open Loop: Tanner doesn’t want Sharra recruited.

Mystery: How did Tanner and Cam arrive within a moment of Lazarus’ Link?

Empathy/Distress: Lazarus is deeply concerned and immediately goes into action.

Payoff: We see Cam in action. His healing methods are futuristic, his behavior is methodical, unsettling. Vault Agency can take care of their own.

Mystery: How does Cam miraculously seal the knife wound without surgery?

Irony:

Setup:

Later: Deception

Sharra wakes disorientated, then frightened. She remembers, and her hand flies to her side to find a scar where she was stabbed. Lazarus brushes her questions aside, using her confusion. He thinks it was a random mugging, but Sharra knows different. However, she keeps quiet about her suspicion. Lazarus wants her to stay there for the night. She eyes his desk and agrees. Lazarus steps out to take care of some things. Sharra gets on her phone. Calls Dash. He’s surprised she’s hurt. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She misconstrues that to mean something else. While alone, Sharra puts the USB stick in an envelope and addresses it, then sneaks into Lazarus’s desk, pulls out her file. Flips through. Finds a file labeled: Lily and James Lane: The Accident. The door opens, stopping Sharra from opening the file. She quickly puts the file back in the desk. Lazarus is back with a blanket and pillow.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra is relieved she’s healed but confused as to how and Lazarus refuses to answer her.

Setup: Sharra knows it wasn’t a random mugging. She thinks it’s Read.

Setup: Sharra uses her injury to stay. She eyes Lazarus’ desk.

Payoff: She uses the alone time to do something with the USB stick.

Setup: Dash is surprised that she’s hurt. His surprise is real. It wasn’t supposed to happen. She misconstrues that to mean something else.

Payoff: She wanted to check out her file. She’s suspicious.

Setup: She finds a separate file on her parents labeled The Accident.

Mystery: Why does Lazarus have a file on her parents and what does the car accident have to do with any of this?

Open Loop: The Accident is part of the time loop and the catalyst that makes Sharra break Vault laws about interfering in her set timeline.

Irony: Lazarus unwittingly causes the problem that he’s there to fix by leaving the file unattended.

ACT 4

EXT. Office Building – Front – Night: Imminent Threat

It’s the same mugging as before. Tanner jogs into view too far away… and just in time to watch Jerad stab Sharra. The scene repeats: Jerad racing away, Sharra removing her shoes and stumbling after Jerad. Tanner goes in stealth mode and moves closer, but Sharra reappears from around the corner, picks up her shoes and stumbles to the front door. Tanner rushes to the side of the building. The same loved-up couple blocks his approach. He impatiently waits for them to move on and then races around the corner.

Open Loop: They can travel back to specific points. This point seems important.

Empathy/Distress: Tanner is too far away to stop the stabbing. It upsets him.

Mystery: Why couldn’t Tanner time it better? Is there a reason that we don’t yet?

Payoff: The loved-up couple that stops Faolan from coming to the front, stop Tanner from going into the side court. The two miss meeting only by chance.

Irony: Sent back to stop the mugging, he’s just in time to witness the mugging?

Setup: Upset and angry, Tanner chances after Jerad.

EXT. Side Courtyard – Continuous: Secret Identity

Tanner scans ahead as he races to the back. A man hails a taxi in the back street. It’s Faolan but Tanner can’t see his face. He sees Sharra’s satchel, though, and sprints forward.

Setup: Tanner thinks the man who gets into the taxi is the mugger.

Empathy/Distress: Tanner is too late to catch Faolan. But do we want him to catch Faolan?

Irony: It’s Faolan, a former friend of his.

EXT. Back Street – Night

The taxi pulls away. Tanner takes a photo with his Com-link and gets directions.

Setup: He gets his Com-Link to track the taxi.

EXT. Jerad’s House – Night

The taxi pulls away. Faolan approaches the house, keeping to the shadows. He peers in a window and moves to the back.

Payoff: He found Jerad’s place.

EXT. Jerad’s House – Back – Night: Secret Identity:

Faolan sneaks up to the back door. Removes lock picks from his utility belt. He expertly works the lock. Click. He’s done this before. He cracks open the door and slips inside.

Open Loop: Faolan is good at picking locks. He’s good at being inconspicuous, too.

Irony: An aristocratic gentleman of wealth knows how to pick locks.

Mystery: What else is a good at. Is he a thief?

INT. Jerad’s Kitchen – Continuous

A light shines from the living room. Faolan pauses. Listens. All is quiet. He creeps cautiously forward.

INT. Jerad’s Living Room – Night: Mystery

Faolan switches off the light as he enters. Sits at the computer. Uses Ailbe to get Jerad’s password. He finds Jerad’s email account. Several emails are addressed from Wolf. He reacts to the name. A car pulls into the driveway. Faolan peeks out the window. It’s Jerad! Faolan returns to the computer and opens the last email, takes a photo. He shuts down the computer. Pulls out his knife, raising it, and waits by the window. Spots Tanner running up the road just as the door unlocks. Faolan’s eyes lose focus for a moment and then clear. The door opens. The air conclaves around Faolan. The curtains ripple. Papers begin to lift.

Jerad steps in. He feels the strange disturbance in the air. He notices his computer is on and grows suspicious.

Open Loop:

Setup: Faolan finds suspicious emails addressed from someone called Wolf.

Mystery: Who is Wolf and why does the name bother Faolan?

Irony: We don’t know it yet, but Wolf is Faolan’s nickname, yet he’s obviously not the sender.

Payoff: We now realize that Faolan is investigating Sharra’s assailant but we don’t know why yet.

Empathy/Distress: Jerad shows up and Faolan is in the house!

Setup: He takes a photo of the email.

Open Loop: Faolan is quick to use violence, even to kill a man. He’s not a gentleman.

Payoff: Tanner shows up.

Mystery: Will Jerad witness Faolan’s shift?

EXT. Jerad’s House – Front – Night

Tanner creeps up the driveway and onto the front porch. Through the blinds, he sees a dark form at the computer.

INT. Jerad’s Living Room – Night: Strange Behavior

Tanner burst through the door and goes ballistic. Grills Jerad. Finds out someone else was there before him and took the satchel/contract. Tanner loses control and beats Jerad only stopping when the man is unconscious. He drops Jerad and goes to the computer only to find that Jerad’s emails inbox is empty – erased.

Open Loop: Tanner has a short fuse that gets him into trouble.

Mystery: Why does Tanner, who we’ve only seen as calm and collected, go ballistic?

Setup: Jerad tells Tanner the truth about someone beating him there, but Tanner doesn’t believe him.

Empathy/Distress: Will Tanner go too far and kill Jerad?

Payoff: Tanner has a thing for protecting the innocent, especially women.

Payoff: The erased computers confirm what Tanner believes – Jerad is guilty.

INT. Executive Suite – Night: Secret

Lazarus pours a whiskey, and with the glass and bottle, sits at his desk. Takes a swig, pours more. He watches Sharra in his Com-Link. She is checking her scar. Then looks at the photo/camera. He frowns, but she turns away. Something is on his mind. Lazarus pulls out a parchment letter with a broken wax seal, the same seal as his ring. Sharra’s address is on top of a few short paragraphs. Lazarus frowns contemplating the message. Tanner comes in. The mugger leads to a dead-end. Tanner wants Lazarus to forget Sharra. He can’t. An angry Lazarus sends a begrudging Tanner to watch over Sharra, keep her safe, and to bring her in.

Open Loop: Sharra’s recruitment is predestined.

Payoff: It’s Lazarus’ signet ring. He sent the letter to himself.

Payoff: This is how Lazarus knew to recruit Sharra and why he insisted despite Tanner’s objections.

Mystery: Why did his future-self leave such a cryptic message and not speak plainly?

Empathy/Distress: Sharra’s recruitment will hurt Lazarus but he’s doing it anyway.

Irony: Right after this, Tanner tells Lazarus to forget about Sharra. We now know the reason why he can’t, but for some reason, he hasn’t shown the letter to Tanner.

Setup: Tanner is sent to watch over Sharra, to keep her safe, and to bring her in.

EXT. Graveyard – Day: Wound

Sharra is alone. She stops at a gravestone marked Lily Lane and James Lane. Tanner stops in hearing distance behind her. She talks to her dead parents, looking for advice. She wants to be brave and do the right thing. Her brother has disappeared, too. She has no one but herself. Her loneliness moves Tanner, but he holds back from going to her. Sharra squares her shoulders and leaves. Tanner ducks out of view as she passes him.

Open Loop: Her parents both died on the same day and Sharra is still affected by it.

Payoff: We now know when they died.

Mystery: How did they die? Is her loss over-exaggerated or is there more to it that we don’t know yet?

Setup: Her brother’s disappearance.

Empathy/Distress: she lost both her parents. She has no one. She feels lost.

Setup: Tanner is moved by her loneliness. It’s the first time he shows something other than objection.

Irony:

INT. Financial Office – Day

Sharra works at her desk. Read calls her into his office. Dash notices and frowns.

INT. Boss’s Office – Day: Imminent Threat

Read has Sharra shut the door. He knows she was expecting the promotion but she is so young. List her great qualities. He fishes for information without saying it outright. Sharra sidesteps his questions. He switches from nice to scary. It throws her off. Read knows she’s lying, re: her perfect memory. She reveals that she has seen the file. He threatens her. No one will believe her accusations without proof. She quits and storms out. Read watches Sharra leaves as he gets on his phone and calls in a favor.

Open Loop:

Setup: Read acts nice to put Sharra at ease.

Empathy/Distress: Will Read carry out his threats? Is Sharra in danger?

Payoff: Her perfect memory comes back to bite her. That’s how Read catches her in a lie.

Payoff: Read switches from nice to confrontational throws Sharra off and she gives herself away. It makes it worse for her.

Setup: Read gets on the phone calling in a favor

Mystery: Who does Read call and what is the favor?

INT. Financial Office – Day: Deception

Dash follows and angry Sharra to her desk. She empties her desk into a box. Dash thinks it’s about the promotion and she doesn’t deny it. Tells him to watch his step around Read. With her box, she storms off.

EXT. Financial Building – Day: Hidden Agenda

Faolan blends in with the pedestrians. He has Sharra’s satchel. His eye is trained on the front doors. Sharra stomps out with her box. He starts towards her but spots Tanner, who leans on a wall, leaving his spot when he spots Sharra. Faolan holds back. Tanner meets Sharra. She’s not happy to find out he’s now her bodyguard. Sharra tries to get rid of Tanner, but he’s as stubborn as her. He takes the box and meets her angry stride. Faolan frowns and turns in the opposite direction.

Open Loop: Faolan is drawn to Sharra. This is the first time he sees her that we know of.

Mystery: Why is Faolan so interested in Sharra?

Empathy/Distress: Sharra just lost her job.

Setup: Faolan sees Tanner interact with Sharra and he doesn’t like it. He backs away. He’s not ready to be seen by either.

Open Loop: Will there be something between these three?

Payoff: Sharra accepts Tanner as her bodyguard unaware of his other agenda, to bring her in.

Irony: Sharra is unaware of Faolan’s feelings for her.

INT. Sharra’s Living Room – Day: Imminent Threat

Sharra enters with Tanner behind her holding the box. Her apartment is trashed! Everything is broken! Tanner pushes her aside as he goes full alert, searches her apartment. All clear. She scoops up the family picture. The glass is shattered. She finds the camera and starts to cry. Tanner is angry and wants to find whoever did this to her. He takes the camera from Sharra as he wraps his arms around her. She accepts it for a moment, then grows suspicious. Kicks him out. He reluctantly leaves. She gets on her cell phone to Dash. She’ll take the job in Chicago but must leave now. He can make that happen.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra feels violated and scared. Everything important to her is destroyed. It’s devastating.

Payoff: She finds the camera! Someone has been spying on her!

Setup: Sharra’s first time turns to Tanner for support.

Irony: Tanner is the one who placed the camera.

Payoff: Sharra takes the job in Chicago, just what Dash wants.

Mystery: Why is Dash helping her?

EXT. Sharra’s Apartment – Day

Tanner Links Lazarus about the break-in. Lazarus winds back the clip. It’s men neither recognize.

INT. Jerad’s Living Room – Day: Hidden Agenda

A battered Jerad answers his cell phone. He’s gone too far stabbing Sharra. It has pushed her right into ‘their’ arms. New plan: kidnap Sharra. Jerad agrees for a price and a promise: wants revenge for the beating.

Open Loop: Jerad is working for someone, we think it’s Read.

Mystery: Who is on the line? Read?

Empathy/Distress: Oh no! Sharra is in danger and Jerad is very angry!

Setup: Tanner is part of the bargain and it doesn’t look good for him either.

ACT 5

EXT. Warehouse – Day

Sharra gets out of a taxi. It leaves. She enters the warehouse, nervous. Something feels off.

INT. Warehouse – Day: Imminent Threat

Sharra moves in, calling for Dash. A voice answers her. It’s Jerad. Jerad grabs her from behind. Sharra struggles but can’t get free. The cocking of multiple guns stops Sharra. They both look up to find Read (He got a tip) with half a dozen gunmen all aimed at them. Two of the men are the ones who trashed Sharra’s apartment. Jerad drops Sharra and raises his arms. Sharra accuses Read of hiring Jerad. Read and Jerad both deny it. It confuses Sharra. Sharra looks frantically for a way out. Read laughs.

Open Loop:

Empathy/Distress: Jerad has Sharra in a stranglehold. She has no help.

Setup: Read shows up with his men, a lot of men with guns. Now, Jerad is in trouble too.

Mystery: Who tipped off Read?

Mystery: If Read didn’t hire Jerad, then who did? Who is Wolf?

Payoff: Read is there to take care of his little problem; re: Sharra.

Irony: Read and Jerad are not Sharra’s true enemy.

EXT. Warehouse – Day

Tanner runs up. Then, stealth mode to the open door, and hears angry voices. Read wants the USB stick.

INT. Warehouse – Continuous: Imminent Threat

Stubbornly, Sharra refuses. Read grabs a gun off a gunman and shoots Sharra. But Tanner, who has been sneaking closer, throws her to the ground. The bullet hits Jerad. He falls to the ground dead. Tanner, still in motion, rolls and takes down a gunman, confiscating his gun. He’s a trained fighter. It’s obvious as he skilfully shoots two more guys, But there are too many and he’s forced to put down the gun. Tanner recognizes the two gunmen and puts Sharra behind him, using his body as a shield. It looks hopeless. The faint sound of sirens comes from outside, growing closer.

Irony: Jerad gets shot instead of Sharra

Payoff: Tanner goes into military mode, showing off his skill when he takes out some of Read’s men.

Payoff: Tanner bravely shields Sharra even though he doesn’t like her.

Empathy/Distress: They are outnumbered and there’s no way to escape. It’s sure death for both of them.

Mystery: How are Tanner and Sharra going to get out of this alive?

Payoff: The police sirens approach.

Mystery: Who informed the police?

EXT. Warehouse – Continuous

Three police cars pull up, lights flashing. Police hop out, guns ready. One hand signals to the door.

INT. Warehouse – Continuous: Intriguing World

Sharra starts laughing. Tanner thinks she’s gone hysterical. She had mailed the USB to the police. Figured out that Dash has been working for Read, which he denies. Sharra tells Read it’s too late for him. Read takes it badly and refuses to go out alone. It looks hopeless. Tanner holds Sharra. Read thinks he’s trying to save her, a useless action. Tanner has Sharra close her eyes. His eyes unfocus for a second, then focus and they disappear just as the police storm inside. Shocked, Read and his men stand like statues and are easily subdued.

Payoff: Sharra had sent the USB to the police. She also gave them the address, figuring out Dash had been working for Read.

Mystery: Has Dash been working for Read?

Empathy/Distress: It looks hopeless for Tanner and Sharra.

Payoff: Tanner uses a shift to save them. They disappear before everyone’s eyes.

Irony: Read and his men are surrounded by the police. They are the ones who lose.

Open Loop: So, Dash is in the wind.

INT. Faolan’s Bedroom – Night: Hidden Agenda

Faolan enters, drops the satchel on the bed next to evening clothes. He forgot. The dinner party! Faolan pulls the servant’s cord. He removes the Vault jacket and gasps in pain. The cloth bandage has fresh blood oozing through. He starts to unwind it.

Later

Hobbs helps Faolan get dressed. Though a certain lady will be present, Faolan is distracted. Hobbs leaves. Faolan opens the satchel, lifts out the Vault contract and raises an eyebrow. Interesting. The photo of Sharra is in his hand. His eyes soften. He likes her. He takes his Com-link and reads the email from Jerad’s computer and realizes it had come from a Vault agent.

Open Loop: Faolan has a life in 1825 but he’s also a Vault Agent which means he has a life there too or at least in his past.

Setup: He finds the Vault contract in the satchel. He has to do something with it.

Empathy/Distress: He has a thing for Sharra. But how is anything going to come from that when she’s in the future and he’s there in 1825?

Payoff: The email – he finally reads it and realizes it has come from a Vault agent!

Mystery: Who is the rogue agent?

INT. Shiftroom – Day

A flash of white and a glimpse of Tanner and Sharra. Then, they disappear, again.

EXT. Vault Office Building – Front – Night: Wound

Tanner and Sharra reappear in the empty courtyard. Sharra is in shock, but Tanner doesn’t slow down as he drags her to the front door. She accuses him of following her, the one spying on her. He calls her a pain in the neck and magnet for trouble. Tanner is only with Sharra at Lazarus’ command, not by choice. Neither are happy. Tanner hates to admit it but he agrees with Lazarus on one thing: the Vault is the safest place for Sharra.

Open Loop: Tanner agrees with Lazarus that the Vault is the safest place for Sharra.

Empathy/Distress: Tanner is angry at Sharra for getting into a bad situation that could have cost both their lives. He doesn’t want her.

Mystery: Why is Tanner so adamant that Sharra doesn’t belong with Vault Agency?

Payoff: Irony: She accuses him of spying on her, which is true.

INT. Executive Suite – Night: Deception

Tanner and Sharra burst in. Tanner gives Lazarus a shortened briefing. The only option: to take their offer. Lazarus gives her the option that if she is unhappy, she can go anywhere she wants after that. The option comes with a cost that Lazarus doesn’t reveal to her and Tanner is aware of the omission. Sharra has nothing left. Forced to flee or be killed, she accepts the offer. Lazarus promises all will be revealed. She has to trust him. He takes her hand. She thinks about destiny. They vanish.

Setup: The option to go anyplace later comes with a cost that Lazarus doesn’t reveal to her and Tanner is aware of the omission.

Open Loop: Sharra is forced to flee but it doesn’t mean she will leave her nemesis behind.

Empathy/Distress: Sharra literally has nothing and no one.

Payoff: The trauma pushes Sharra to trust Lazarus and take the position.

Irony: Lazarus has been using smoke and mirrors when the truth would’ve worked.

Mystery: Where did Lazarus and Sharra go?

[Tracy Cheney]

Tracy El Pueblo Beat Sheet Intrique

TEASER

INT. El Pueblo – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Mission</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Wound: Empathy/Distress:

A woman stands humiliated in the doorway near front of the church. Her hair is roughly shorn off, some scalp showing. One eyebrow is shaved off. The congregation stares at her or ignores her. They absorb the priest’s pronouncement that the widow is banished for fornication.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Mission</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Continuous – Hidden Agenda: Setup:

After the service, Antonia confronts priest in confession box about the woman’s unfair punishment. She’s not a virgin, having already been married and lost her husband. He counsels that women must remain pure their entire life as the Bride of Christ.

LATER – Intriguing World

Antonia standing in front of casta painting on church wall with girlfriends, laments predetermined fate due to skin color and marriage as their only choice. A marriage not of their choice, but arranged for them.

EXT. El Pueblo – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Central</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Plaza</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Pay-off

The lover of the disgraced woman, the village carpenter, is held in public stocks. The girls pass by him with mixture of curiosity/disgust. Antonia is glad he at least gets equal treatment and will be banished also, a year of hard labor.

ACT 1 Antonia

INT. El Pueblo -Grandmother Moreno’s House – Parlor – Day – Hidden Agenda

Grandmother Moreno instructs Antonia to pour tea for prospective marriage partner, Senor Lopez. Antonia ignores her. Antonia doesn’t pour the tea. Instead she escapes the room.

EXT. Senora <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Moreno</st1:place></st1:city>’s House – Interior Patio – Day – Irony

Antonia trips over Indian servant Marta outside the door. Complains about her grandmother forcing old men on her — at least you Marta get to choose.

INT. Senora <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Moreno</st1:place></st1:city>’s House – Outdoor Kitchen – Day – Strange Behavior:

Antonia slams the door shut of the separate adobe kitchen and screams to God.

INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Parlor – Day – Empathy/Distress:

Antonia rushes into her aunt’s home, complains about Grandma’s meddling. She reminds Antonia that Grandma’s raising up all the women in the family above their caste fate.

INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day – Setup:

Antonia cheers up uncle lying on the bed, overcome by sudden illness. He’s much older than pregnant Gert. Grandma shows up with tortillas, shooing Antonia back to her house.

EXT. Path – Day –

On the walk home, Senora Moreno berates Antonia’s behavior toward Senor Lopez. Lopez is her best offer unless she wants less status. Antonia won’t be persuaded, still rejects him. Wants to be in love with someone nearer her age.

EXT. El Pueblo – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Central</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Plaza</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Stocks – Day

Crossing the Plaza, the accused lover is gone from the stocks. Antonia comments about the banished lovers, but Grandma cuts her off. Out of one of the adobe houses, Antonia’s cousin runs to join them. She saw the man led off in chains. Grandmother says no more talk about their moral sin.

INT. Senora <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Moreno</st1:place></st1:city>’s House – Outdoor Kitchen – Day – Imminent Threat:

Grandmother orders the girls to help Marta prepare more food for Aunt Gert’s household. Tells Antonia to prepare a sleeping mat for a couple of Gert’s little kids. Antonia states her dislike of crying babies and messy toddlers. She asks Marta to stay over a day or two until the uncle is well and the kids can be sent home. Marta agrees only if she can have Antonia’s dress as payment, since they owe her. The dress cost dearly on the black market. Agreed.

INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day – Imminent Threat:

The priest surprises Antonia in the doorway. The situation is grim, her uncle has been given last rights. After priest leaves, Antonia wants to see uncle. His face is covered with hideous sores. What has happened? Maybe witchcraft? Why would God punish him? Pregnant aunt frantically orders Antonia to go to the native village Yangna and bring back a shaman.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Yangna</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Village</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Intriguing World

Antonia hesitates, then walks into the Indian village of grass houses alone. Antonia spies several women washing clothes at the river. One speaks Spanish. She questions why Antonia requests this and denies access. Antonia says part of their being is native, they are not completely Spanish. They have some faith in the old ways. The native woman agrees to ask the shaman. Will need payment to get the shaman (which is?..).

INT. Aunt Gertrudis’ House – Bedroom – Day – Setup:

Shaman performs a ritual over uncle, who is barely alive with disease no one has seen before. Antonia and her aunt wonder who could be causing this.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Cemetery</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Pay-off

Copious weeping and wailing. Aunt Gertrudis can’t be dragged from her husband’s gravesite. Grandmother pulls Antonia aside, orders her to take aunt home. Since she won’t be getting married, she’ll be the nanny. Take care of the children and Gert’s household at least until the baby is born. The shock of the quick death makes Antonia agree.

EXT. Outside cemetery – Day – Conspiracy

Antonia unhappily loads the children into the carreta. Her cousin runs up, crying that Grandmother has betrothed her to the man Antonia rejected. She’s scared, doesn’t want this or to leave home at 15. Antonia advises her cousin to tell Grandma “no.” Too late, her parents have agreed to it. It’s Antonia’s fault!

Act 2 Lucas

INT. Mexico City – Courtroom – Day – Mystery

In the packed courtroom audience, Lucas listens intently and takes notes. The Prosecutor lays out the case against three defendants — rebel patriots battling the Crown in the war for independence. Lucas is satisfied when a guilty verdict is handed down with a death sentence. The men shout the war cry “¡Viva <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place>, Señores!” “¡Long live Father <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Hidalgo</st1:place></st1:state>!”

INT. Mexico City – University Classroom – Day – Deception

Lucas challenged by the law professor to state his view of the war in class debate. Lucas recites the Prosecutor’s speech as his own.

INT. Mexico City – Dance Salon – Night – Empathy/Distress – Set-up

Several young couples finish a dance, Lucas is among them. The instructor singles out one of the men as exemplary. He chastises Lucas for being rigid, without enough emotion. He mentions to his friend that he got a message from home that his father was hurt in a ranch accident. Lucas decided to stay in the city not to miss this or any class.

EXT. Mexico City – Night – Conspiracy – Imminent Threat

Outside the salon, the couples are surrounded by young Royal militia on horses, guns at the ready. The dancers are questioned which side of the war they favor. Lucas runs away, but is surrounded. A recruit from his law class tells Lucas his speech was admired. He must join up to defend the Crown. He must spy on his bourgeois friends to report their views.

EXT. Mexico City – Grand home – Night – Deception

Lucas drops his partner at her fancy home. He professes bravado and wealth. She invites him to dinner on the weekend.

INT. Mexico City – Student Tenement – Night – Suspicion

In his austere residence, Lucas shuts the curtains, checks for anyone spying from the street. By candle light, writes out lesson (or letter?). Roommate?

EXT. Mexico City – Plaza – Day – Conspiracy

Tensions between the pro-Spanish and pro-revolutionary factions escalate.

Lucas witnesses a family of heretics claiming to be true Catholics killed by public hanging. It is rumored they are Jews, ferreted out by the Inquisition. Others claim this is false propaganda. They were supporters of the independence movement.

INT. Mexico City – Ballroom – Night – Secret Identity

Lucas attends a fancy ball that night with his girlfriend — all are criollo caste people. They are divided in their loyalties. The uniting desire is to govern their own country without interference from <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Spain</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

EXT. Mexico City – Student Tenement – Day – Mystery – Pay-off

Returning back from class, Lucas sees a man on his stoop. Fearing an army recruiter, Lucas ignores the man’s shouting to come back. The man catches up to Lucas, delivers the news that Lucas’ father died. Lucas must come home for the funeral. When Lucas says he’ll pack a valise, the servant tells him that his eldest brother insists he bring everything. His life in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Mexico City</st1:city></st1:place> is over.

EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Cuernavaca</st1:place></st1:city> – Polanco Hacienda – Day – Empathy/Distress

Lucas stands with his family at his father’s gravesite on the property. He couldn’t be buried at the church because he committed suicide. The Polanco family is ostracized in town for this greatest on mortal sins. The greater sin is that Lucas didn’t return home to see his father alive. His family views Lucas as spoiled and selfish.

INT. Cuernavaca – Polanco Hacienda – Barn – Continuous – Empathy/ Distress

Vicente, the eldest brother, informs Lucas he has no money. All inheritance by law goes to Vicente. All the younger brothers must go out on their own. Lucas’ favorite brother has an offer to go to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> territory with an uncle, arranged a year earlier. Maybe his only option is the military (which Lucas loathes), since local bureaucratic and Church options are closed off for now.

INT. Cuernavaca – Polanco Dining Room – Day – Open Loop

Lucas’ favorite brother announces he won’t go to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:state w:st=”on”>California</st1:state></st1:place>. He’s joining the insurgents to fight for <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region>’s <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Independence</st1:place></st1:city>. Lucas can take his place, as he is the only one with university education. Lucas must leave soon to catch the only ship heading north. The port is 600 miles away, travelling through battle areas.

Act 3 Father Diego

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>INT. Queretaro City</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Seminary Colegio do Propaganda Fide – Day – World

Diego’s wealthy family warmly embraces the newly-minted “Father” after his ordination. Mother mentions her happiness that Diego will become their local priest. Diego doesn’t want to be a provincial priest. This city is where the revolution started. Diego supports the Indians fighting for justice.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>INT. Queretaro City</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Seminary Colonnade – Day – Irony

Diego shows his large family paintings on the wall. He points out Father Serra who made missions in the surrounding mountains to the Indians. Many young men at the seminary sign up with the Franciscan order for frontier assignments. Diego was sent to this seminary when the family decided he should be a priest. But he’s not interested in missionary work, or taking a vow of poverty as noble. His mother begs Diego to come home for a visit.

<st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Queretaro</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>City</st1:placetype> – <st1:place w:st=”on”>Corregidor</st1:place> House – Street – Day – Open Loop – Conspiracy

Diego shows his father the house where the woman lived who secretly started the revolution with intellectuals, priests, and politicians. Diego confides that he visited her in his religious capacity when she was a prisoner years earlier. Diego’s father is alarmed! Diego’s father makes excuses to visit some of their trading offices in town.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Queretaro</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>City</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Cathedral – Day – Deception

Diego secretly follows his father to a side door of the Cathedral. Diego observes him being greeted by a Bishop and escorted inside.

EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Monterey</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Perez Estate – Day – Empathy/Distress

Diego rejoices riding up the grand entryway to the family compound in northern <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:country-region></st1:place>. He’s greeted warmly by family, servants, respectful of his new stature and priestly garb. Diego is the favorite fourth son, not the brother who will inherit all. He sees the young woman he loved as a teen but could not marry. She asks him to preside at her baby’s baptism. It is a hard thing to see her married to another.

INT. Monterey – Perez Estate – Diego’s Bedroom – Day – Empathy/Distress – Wound

Diego flops onto the luxurious canopy bed. Two servants bring in hot water for a bath. He sends away the help for bathing, who want to care for him. After the barren cell he’s occupied for eight years in college and seminary, he welcomes the trappings of wealth. He flips through his old sketch journal from boyhood, finds his drawing of the young woman he once loved. He rips her picture out and tosses it in the fire. Diego will never sleep with her or another woman. He is a virgin at 27. A holy man.

EXT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Day – Set-up

Diego is greeted by children as he enters the modest church grounds. His childhood priest is still there, all smiles. The old man ushers the younger priest into the nave.

INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Nave – Continuous – Hidden Agenda:

The old priest asks if Diego intends to replace him as his family hopes – no. The old man asks where Diego stands on the revolution. All priests come from the criollo class, which is agitated. Their issues are so different than the Indians, but they are united through dislike of the Spanish government. They are inspired by the American revolution, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Haiti</st1:country-region>, and now <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region>. The old priest beckons towards the inner sanctum.

INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Storeroom – Continuous – Pay-off –

In a storage closet, the old priest shows Diego three Native teens hiding. They are insurgents needing asylum. The priest pleads with Diego to ask his father to assist moving them to safety. He has a network that moves goods all over this primitive edge of <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

(INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Day

Diego discuss with his dad what to do with fugitives?)

INT. Monterey – Perez Hacienda – Office – Night – Deception

Diego explodes at his father over the fate of the three Indian boys. His father traded the teens to the Comanche. His father justifies what he has to do to maintain the relationship with the Comanche. Diego rejects this. Morally offended. How could his father fall so far from grace?

INT. Monterey – Catholic parish church – Night – Empathy/Distress: Secret

Diego uses the confession box to tell the old priest what happened to the Indian boys. He begs for forgiveness. The priest assures Diego these Comanche raids are indeed a threat. It’s what life has become. Forgive your father.

<st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Gulf</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Coast</st1:placetype> – <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Matamoros</st1:place></st1:city> – Wharf – Day – Setup:

Diego looks with pride across the bustling area. The project manager shows Diego around the family business. Diego assures him he’s not here taking over. He asks to see the books.

<st1:placename w:st=”on”>INT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Gulf</st1:placetype> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Coast</st1:placetype> – <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Matamoros</st1:place></st1:city> – Office – Day Hidden Layer: Deception

Diego questions the project manager about some obscure items. Turns out, they are trading African slaves into <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:place></st1:city>. Since the <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>US</st1:country-region> banned shipping slaves from <st1:place w:st=”on”>Africa</st1:place>, they are sent on whenever they get them. Conditions are better in the <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>US</st1:country-region> than in the sugar cane fields of <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Mexico</st1:place></st1:country-region>. Prices are higher for the various middlemen because the <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>US</st1:place></st1:country-region> market is insatiable.

INT. Monterey – Perez Estate – Office – Day – Conspiracy – Set-up

Back at home, Diego confronts his father about slaves. It is not the same as trading for safety with the Comanche. His father protests he is robbing the Spanish of income. Diego is horrified that human cargo is part of their fortune. Diego’s father warns him the Inquisition has started up again so don’t call attention to the family. What if Diego, a priest, was called in to testify?

EXT. Monterey – Perez Estate – Day – Pay-off – Hidden Agenda – Deception

A courier arrives with envelope for Diego. He receives orders to go to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>California</st1:place></st1:state> territory, as far from home as possible. Diego is dismayed. After much prayer, he must subjugate his will to a higher authority.

INT. Monterey – Perez Estate – Office – Day – Open Loop

Diego’s father pulled strings to get this assignment for all their safety. He’ll be taking a trade caravan to the west coast. He’ll only be gone a year.

Act 4 Thomas

EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Streets – Day – Intriquing World

Thomas is in the midst of crowded streets of revelers. The mood is joyous, celebrating <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region>’s first anniversary of <st1:city w:st=”on”>Independence</st1:city> from <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Spain</st1:country-region></st1:place>. American sailors stand out in blue jackets, blue-striped bellbottoms, red vests, black cravate and wide-brimmed black hat painted with tar among others of motley dress.

EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Podium – Day – Mystery

The governor announces two warships will sail in opposite directions to carry their new flag around the world. They’ll take out all Spanish targets. The two captains are introduced to applause and some booing.

EXT. <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city>, <st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Podium – Day – open loop

Each captain describes his route. When the second captain comes forward, there is louder booing. Thomas is very excited to hear that this Captain Hippolyte Bouchard’s warship heads east to <st1:place w:st=”on”>Africa</st1:place>. He’s a war hero of the revolution. Thomas is ready to sign up with Bouchard!

EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:place></st1:city> – Street – Day – open loop

Thomas rounds up several other black American sailors in the crowd – Black Jacks. Thomas lays out his plan to get to <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Sierra Leone</st1:place></st1:country-region>, a haven for former slaves. The Argentine ex-slaves are not worried about slave catchers but Thomas and some of the Americans are. They are anxious to get going.

INT. Buenos Aires – Bar – Night – hidden layer

The local sailors disparage Captain Bouchard. They tell awful tales of sailing for him during the battles for <st1:city w:st=”on”>Independence</st1:city> in <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Ecuador</st1:place></st1:country-region>. One of the men tried to kill Bouchard walking home at night. Bouchard has changed the name of the captured ship. Superstition dictates never do that before a new venture. Bouchard’s former mariners refuse to sail with him now or ever. Thomas doubts his choice after all.

EXT. Buenos Aires – Wharf – Day – Suspicion

A long line of Spanish sailors wait to sign the documents with the captain heading west to the Pacific. Thomas paces at the edge considering what to do.

EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship La Argentina – Day – open loop

On deck. Captain Bouchard addresses his crew of 250 sailors of assorted nationalities. Thomas is among them. Black sailors are assigned lowest positions. When Bouchard gives an order in French, Thomas responds. Bouchard has his eye on Thomas.

EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship La <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:country-region w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:country-region></st1:place> – Day

Thomas has never crewed on a Man-Of-War. Someone shows him around. Mammoth operation outfitted for war, but relieved that it’s not real Navy. Should be less harsh. They are legal pirates.

EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city> – Harbor – Warship La <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region> – Day – Hidden Agenda

The smaller warship <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Santa Rosa</st1:city></st1:place> heads out to great fanfare. Bouchard’s crew is stuck in harbor, confined to ship, waiting for more weapons. At least get us some comfort women they plead — so close, yet so far away. Bouchard won’t take a chance that the men won’t come back if allowed on shore. Assures them they will weigh anchor soon.

EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city> – Harbor – Warship La <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region> – Day – Imminent Threat

Still stuck in harbor, many men grow quarrelsome. 250 crammed into a 120 ft. space. Captain Bouchard’s brothers-in-law come aboard as junior officers. They have no experience being aboard ship.

EXT. <st1:city w:st=”on”>Buenos Aires</st1:city> – Harbor – Warship La <st1:country-region w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Argentina</st1:place></st1:country-region> – Day – Imminent Threat

In harbor still. One of the Bouchard relatives gives an order. The sailor refuses. Another officer steps in, pushes the sailor. He slaps the officer! A serious fight breaks out. One sailor hurls an ax at Bouchard — the captain stabs him dead. The men rush to the officers’ cabins, barricading themselves in behind the doors. Marines break the doors. Another sailor is killed. Others are removed from ship, rowed to shore in irons. Thomas definitely questions his choice of Bouchard’s leadership. He’d like to be going back to shore in a rowboat and get out of this mess.

EXT. Buenos Aires – Harbor – Warship La Argentina – Day – open loop

At last they weigh anchor July 19 without fanfare while the populace celebrates their Independence Day on this winter day. These are foreign men without family to wave them off, except for a few families of the Argentine ex-slaves. The elite don’t really like Bouchard! Neither does Thomas.

Act 5 Joseph

EXT. Boston – Shipbuilding Yards – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day – Intriguing World:

Joseph delivers the news that the frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> is not seaworthy enough for what investors have planned. Best for 6 months. Keep her in the sugar trade going to the <st1:place w:st=”on”>West Indies</st1:place>, don’t venture far out to sea. The ship is in decline.

EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place><i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> – Continuous – Deception:

The group of business men only care about the money they are sinking into the ship. Don’t care about the safety issues he points out. They ask Joseph if he’ll crew as second carpenter. Refuses. Went to sea early, done every miserable job for years. That’s why he knows how to build a better ship. Why not invest in a new ship with Joseph?

EXT. Boston – Frigate Elizabeth – Continuous – World

Ship pulled in by long ropes up to the wharf.

An Englishman of the group comments on the cheapness of the American-built ship when inspected up close. Hundreds built rapidly during War of 1812 years. They were built green and cheap — and got the Elizabeth cheap now. So, why not order a ship from Joseph now and do it right? We could cut logs now. Honest businessman in the sight of our Lord.

EXT. Boston – Frigate <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Elizabeth – Continuous

Investors decide to stick with this ship and their plan. Prominent man purchased for son. With whales depleted near home, plans to open up a new fishing ground and corner the market on whale oil. They order the retrofit needed. Joseph thinks it’s a waste of money as ship won’t last.

EXT. Boston – Ladies Seminary – Day

Joseph picks up a young woman at the door. She is accompanied by a servant. They walk to small church.

INT. Boston – Church – Day

Very austere. Anabaptists all dressed in plain grey clothes. They sing a hymn in 4-part harmony.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Imminent Threat

A group of Calvinist teens waits outside. Harass the folks coming out as anti-Christian. Hand out pamphlet against their version of Christianity. Joseph chases them off.

EXT. Boston – Ladies Seminary – Day – Secret Identity

The young woman thanks Joseph for protecting her. She’s glad he decided to attend again. It’s not quite the religion of his youth — stricter. She remands Joseph for not acting in the peace of Christ towards his fellow man. That’s where he falls down admittedly. (When do we learn about religion?)

EXT. Boston – Joseph’s Shack – Day

Joseph’s young brother shows up. He’s 18, and allowed to visit and see the secular world. Not sure if wants to farm, but family doing well enough.

When finish the job on Elizabeth, Joseph promises will go back home for a visit.

EXT. Frigate <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Elizabeth – Day

The brothers move onboard so the younger can have a bed. Plan to row over to <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Charlestown</st1:city></st1:place> and see old Master. Buying him out.

INT. Charlestown – Master Builder’s House — Day

The guild approved Joseph as master craftsman. He’s allowed finally to establish his own shop! He needs to build a house. Saved his money and ready to sign for the Master’s ship business. Did love the daughter of his Master, but not allowed to marry while indentured.

EXT. Charlestown – Path along waterfront – Day

On the way to see the naval yard. To brother: like to live in Anabaptist village, but must stay by the sea. Life on ship not conducive to religion. Looking forward to retiring to land for good now. But not a farmer. Studying to be shipwright. What skills might brother want? Only trained as a farmer. Maybe we need an Anabaptist enterprise from start to finish — even the sailors. Brother is interested —

EXT. Charlestown – Naval Yard – Day

Metal sheeting being applied to the huge hull of first Navy ship to be built. It’s spectacular. Paul Revere’s company invented the process. To brother: lays out the story of Revere’s ride and battle afterwards. Anabaptists would not pledge allegiance to the country or take up arms against another human. Even when the British came back in 1812. So, targeted. Joseph could have been picked up at any point.

EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:city w:st=”on” style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city><i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”> – Day – Hidden Agenda

Young captain comes to inspect his ship. This will be his first time out ever. Joseph suggests again improvements needed. Stresses safety. Asks Joseph again to crew. No, won’t work for a merchant again — they cut corners to make money. Come to see me about a new ship that will be built for your exact needs.

EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day

Visited by former brethren (or current) – invite back to church. Haven’t left faith community. Tells them planning to take on first apprentice. Might they have a candidate. Glad to have more education — Anabaptists stop at age 13 with basic arithmetic. A ship is a marvel of math and an artist with wood. That’s held him back from being shipwright.

EXT. Boston – Wharf – Frigate <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> – Day

Men working on the <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place>, install the cranes for whales. Joseph’s crew finishes the fire places for cauldrons on deck. Huzza – it’s ready! Brother falls off rigging onto deck. Workers invite them for a drink at the tavern to recover.

INT. Boston – Tavern – Night – Strange Behavior

Friendly banter. Brother is excessive in drink.

EXT. Boston wharf – Frigate <st1:city w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:place></st1:city> – Night –

Joseph thanks mates for helping him get his brother to bed onboard.

INT. Boston wharf – Frigate <i style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Elizabeth – Day

Brother recovers from hangover. Joseph says need to control it. Shows in Bible where Jesus turned water to wine. Jesus drank. Just don’t get drunk. Joseph assigns brother to finish painting the hull.

EXT. Boston wharf – Frigate Elizabeth – Day

Mariners begin moving in who will be sailing soon. Brother falls into the water from the perch painting the hull! He prefers the dry land. Not cut out for ship life.

INT. Boston – Joseph’s Shack – Day

The brothers move Joseph’s belongings back to his shack from the ship. Brother wants a girlfriend and not lose her as Joseph did.

EXT. Boston (or <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Charlestown</st1:city></st1:place>) – Ladies Female Seminary – Day

Joseph and his brother escort two prim young ladies. The brother is astounded that they are studying at this age. Only men can be teachers from the brothers’ experience.

EXT. Boston – <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>Baptist</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Church</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day

They attend the Baptist church of the second young lady. The sermon is on the evils of trine baptism. Joseph and his brother are shocked to be singled.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>St. Charles</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>River</st1:placetype></st1:place> – Day – Wound

Baptism of brother by Anabaptist brethren – jeering led by the Baptist minister? or public argument. Brother thanks Joseph for his witness. Ready to go home. Joseph promises to follow along after he gets paid and gets things settled with his old Master.

INT. Boston -Tavern – Night – Conspiracy

Joseph warming up by fire on cold night. Men from the <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place> invite him for a drink.

<st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:placename w:st=”on”>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename w:st=”on”>Boston</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st=”on”>Harbor</st1:placetype></st1:place> – On board Frigate Elizabeth – Day – Deception, Empathy/Distress

Joseph awakes in his old spot on <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>Elizabeth</st1:city></st1:place>. He’s shocked that the ship is moving. The men tell him that they put him into his own bed after he was drunk. Joseph doesn’t remember ordering too much ale — never drinks hard liquor. One of the companions from the tavern urges him just to go along with it. Joseph knows this is the expectation — stay alive. Then he’ll escape when they put to shore for supplies.

[Janeen Johnson]

Janeen’s Outline With Intrigue

What I learned doing this lesson is that some scenes have multiple intrigue layers and that I’ll have to pare them down to a main one as I write to have more focused scenes.

EXT. CAMPION FARM – NIGHT; CONSPIRACY

Mike and Mindy are heading out to a NYE party when Cara calls and is excited that her boyfriend of 2 years will finally propose tonight and she can start a family. Mindy cautions not to get the cart before the horse.

Mike and Mindy are getting into the car so she has to go. Cara hears the doorbell and says her boyfriend is as close to perfect as she needs. They both know that Mindy got the only perfect man on earth.

Open Loop: Will Cara get engaged? Mystery: Why is Mike the perfect man?

Empathy/Distress: Cara is settling since the best guy is already taken.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT. CAR – NIGHT; STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Mike and Mindy wave goodbye to the kids, banter a bit about Cara and kids, then Mike abruptly says they should tell anyone from the sheriff’s department at the party tonight what they found out about Molly.

Mindy says he promised to wait until the beginning of the year and then they crown the hill and the brakes don’t work and they crash into the train, saying “Molly”.

Open Loop: Why did they say “Molly”?
Mystery: What do they have to tell the sheriff? Empathy/Distress: Oh, no! They’re dead! Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – DAY; IMMINENT THREAT

Sixteen years earlier, Mike, Molly and Jim have been hanging out at Mike’s house. Jim’s dad is coming home from a bar and picking him up on the way. He tells Jim he has to marry for land and not to let Mike push him out where Molly’s concerned.

Molly will come with land.

Jim talks back to his dad, not willing to marry for money, and his dad gets physical with Jim, almost running off the road in the process. Jim concedes to his dad’s wish verbally, but mutters he won’t marry for money to himself.

Open Loop: Will he marry for land?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Jim is being abused by his dad. Payoff:

Irony:
Setup: Jim will be an abuser in the future. EXT. CAMPION FARM – DAY; WOUND

Mike leaves his dad, Randi and Molly to go to college, reiterating his desire that she go to college with him and that this will not break them up. Molly is crying and says she has to farm with her dad.

Mike kisses Molly deeply implies a close relationship. He promises to be true.

Open Loop: Will Mike be true to Molly? Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Poor Molly, left at home. Payoff:

Irony:
Setup: Mike and Molly will both have temptations. INT. COLLEGE CLASSROOM – DAY; DECEPTION

Mike and Cara meet in their very first college class and there are instant sparks. They meet daily after class and grow closer, flirting and sharing dreams, but Molly stands between them so their relationship is platonic.

Whenever Molly calls Mike, he and Cara’s demeanors change to sadness.

Open Loop: Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: True love comes after commitments have already been made.

Payoff:
Irony: Big sparks between them, but they can’t be together. Setup: Will they be together?
EXT. WALRATH FARM – EVENING; SECRET

Over the fall months, Jim helps Molly or visits with her whenever he drives by. He asks her to go with him to a fundraiser, but she refuses.

Jim helps Molly with the heavy lifting after the refusal, still flirting and charming and charismatic. Molly considers him wistfully, but then shakes her head.

Open Loop: Will she cheat with Jim? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Molly is lonely and alone and Jim is always there for her.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: She will fall for Jim when rejected by Mike. INT. COLLEGE DORM ROOM – EVENING; CONSPIRACY

After Thanksgiving, Mike shows up at Cara and Mindy’s room looking for Cara. He helps Mindy decorate as she tells him that Cara’s grandmother is ill, her missionary parents can’t help, so she has stayed behind as her grandmother’s caregiver.

Mike confesses that has broken up with Molly because of Cara and Mindy is more smitten with him than she thought she might be, flirting outrageously. After Mike leaves, she sits down with her mind control book and looks at a picture of Mike and Cara on her desk. She puts a picture of herself next to Mike and blocks out Cara, then digs into the book.

Open Loop: Will Cara find out that Mike was looking for her? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Feel bad for Mike and Cara because Mindy cheats them out of their relationship.

Payoff:

Irony:
Setup:
EXT. MOLLY’S FARM – NIGHT; HIDDEN AGENDA

Jim stops by after Thanksgiving while Molly is decorating outside and helps her, learning that Mike has dumped her and seeing his chance when she cries on his shoulder, literally, when telling him about the breakup. He tries to hold her longer, but she pulls away and he is disappointed and she sees it.

They continue decorating, hands touching now and then and when they finish, he says nothing, but when they finish, he says goodnight, hugs her again and kisses her quickly on the lips. She pulls him back for a very passionate kiss.

Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Molly needs solace after being dumped. Payoff:
Irony: She pursues Jim who is only after her land. Setup: Jim won’t really love her, only love her land. INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY; WOUND

At Christmas, Mike returns home, presents in hand, and Randi tells him Molly is already engaged to Jim. Mike worries it is too fast and tears up while tossing his gifts carelessly under the tree.

Randi asks about he and Cara and he says quietly that he’s dating Mindy. Cara is gone.

Open Loop: Will Mike and Molly or Mike and Cara get together again?

Mystery: How did Mindy catch him so quickly?

Empathy/Distress: Mike really cared for Molly, but had so much more with Cara and is now with Mindy.

Payoff:
Irony: He dumped Molly for Cara, but ended up with Mindy. Setup:

INT. MOLLY’S FARM – MORNING; SUSPICION

On a late summer morning, an “It’s a boy!” Flag is flying at Molly’s house. Molly sports a wedding ring and sits in a rocker with the baby in a carrier next to her. Jim comes up behind her and says he wishes she’d told him she was pregnant when they got engaged.

She stands to say she wasn’t, silly, the baby just came early, and hugs him. He grudgingly hugs her back and then looks around the farm. Her dad comes out of the house and says, let’s get to the mowing. Jim smiles and heaves a pleased sigh. Later, Molls. Gotta farm.

Open Loop: Was Molly pregnant with Mike’s baby when she married Jim?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Poor Molly — married to a guy that only wants her money and doesn’t trust her.

Payoff: Irony:

Setup: Years of Jim thinking Hunter is not his own biological son.

EXT. PARK – EVENING; SUSPICION

Six months ago, Randi hugs the twins and gives them plates of food. Randi says to Mindy she’s glad her brothers went back to Alaska before the 4th. It’s a relief. She’s glad Molly and Jim joined them today.

Mike and Jim make tense small talk. Mindy and Molly talk seriously to one side. Then Randi brings Jim another beer and some cake and chats with him while Mike talks to Mindy and Molly seriously. Jim glowers at Molly and Mike as Mindy cuts cake for the twins.

Open Loop: Who is Randi?
Mystery: What is the serious conversation about? Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Randi keeps Jim busy so Mike can talk to Molly.

INT. MOLLY’S FARM – NIGHT; IMMINENT THREAT, SUSPICION

When Jim and Molly get home from the picnic, Jim is jealous and furious that Molly was talking to Mike – again. He accuses her of never getting over Mike and chides her about her bastard, meaning Hunter. As he gets more belligerent, she gets more frightened, desperate and angry.

Molly races to her car and takes off, gravel flying, down the road. She watches behind her in the mirror and over her shoulder as she careens down the road, never seeing the train stopped across the road ahead (in the dark) and drives right into it.

Open Loop: What was Molly running from? Mystery: Is Hunter really a bastard child? Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:

Irony:
Setup: Did Molly die because of Jim? INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – DAY; DECEPTION

At the funeral parlor, a condolence line moves slowly past Jim, Hunter and Gabe. A picture of Molly is on the casket with flowers. Several people say they are so sorry and ask if it was a suicide? That must be awful.

Jim demurs when suicide is mentioned and Gabe and Hunter shuffle uncomfortably. Another person offers condolences and says “Did she leave a note? Jim nods but says nothing, Gabe wipes his eyes, but Hunter stares at Jim in disbelief and anger.

Open Loop: If Molly left a note, who wrote it?

Mystery: Why does Jim demur about the note? Why is Hunter suspicious?

Empathy/Distress: The boys have lost their mother. Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY; SECRET

In an obvious fall setting, Randi gets her test results and it is very bad news, apparently, from her doctor, a friend. She tells Randi that she’ll have to tell Mike and Molly so they can help her get through this, but Randi says she’ll tell them when she’s ready, after harvest, and she swears the doctor to confidentiality for professional and friendship reasons.

Randi gets up to leave after composing herself and with determination and anger stops at the door, wiping a final tear, waving the folded results at the doctor, and reiterates her demand for confidentiality.

Open Loop: What bad news did Randi get? Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Randi got bad medical news Payoff:

Irony:
Setup: Randi will keep a secret from her son and d-i-l. INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY; SUSPICION, CONSPIRACY

After supper that night, Mike calls Mindy to a private conversation noting how upset Randi seems. Mindy says she’ll tell us what’s bugging her when she’s ready. He says he overheard Gabe telling the twins that he never got to see his mom’s suicide note. Mike says he can’t believe Molly would have killed herself and that something is fishy. Hunter was equally evasive when he asked what was in the note. Should they talk to the police? Ask Jim?

Molly says they can’t come right out and ask to see the note and Mike says he’s going to investigate and that they should tell no one their suspicions until he’s done so — including Randi and Cara — until he’s seen and read the suicide note.

Open Loop: What’s up with Randi?
Mystery: Why would Molly have killed herself? Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony: Everyone is keeping secrets.
Setup:

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; SECRET

In the late afternoon when the kids are leaving with Mike to go trick or treating, Randi catches Mindy alone in the house and swears her to secrecy — not Mike, Cara or anyone else. Mindy swears. Randi shows her the test results from the doctor. She wanted to wait until harvest was over, but before the Alaska contingent arrived.

Mindy agrees that she’ll do whatever she can with her intentional medicine, but it may not help. Randi reminds her of the complete secrecy — it’s her news and she’ll tell it when she’s ready.

Open Loop: What is wrong with Randi?
Mystery: How could intentional medicine help? Empathy/Distress: Randi has a serious medical problem. Payoff:
Irony:

Setup: Only Mindy knows Randi’s secret and we already know she’s going to die – probably before she can tell anyone about it.

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; CONSPIRACY, SUSPICION

In a Christmas filled room, Mike and Mindy talk privately, very concerned. Mindy has found evidence that Molly didn’t commit suicide. She thinks they should tell the police immediately, but Mike says it would be cruel to Gabe and Hunter to do that right before their first Christmas without their mom.

Mindy says they should be told. This can’t wait. Mike becomes adamant and cows her into agreeing, swearing her to not tell Randi or Cara. They’ll deal with it first thing in January.

Open Loop: What do they have to tell?

Mystery: Who killed Molly?

Empathy/Distress: Mindy is slightly brow-beaten by Mike.

Payoff:

Irony: They are going to die (we already know) the way Molly did.

Setup:

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; CONSPIRACY, SECRET

Mindy and Randi emerge from Mindy’s room with their suitcases in the with Christmas decorations all around. Mindy takes Mike aside for a private conversation and tells him that since they got Cara to agree to be the kids’ guardian, if anything happens to them, they should also make her the executor in their will so she’ll also be responsible for keeping the kids’ legacy intact — they wouldn’t want the Alaska boys to get control of everything and leaving Randi in charge would put her in an awkward position of having to choose between her brothers. That would be unfair.

Mike objects at first, saying they should keep it in the family, but Mindy says, “it’s Cara and she IS family” and he softens. Then she reminds him of his promise to his dad when he died ten years ago. She hands him the paperwork to sign and he is angry/suspicious it’s already drawn up, but then runs his finger over Cara’s name. We’ll explain it to her at Christmas in Chicago.

Open Loop: What did Mike promise his dad? Why should they make Cara the guardian and the executor?

Mystery: Why did Mindy already have the paperwork made up? Why is it important?

Empathy/Distress: Mike still has feelings for Cara after all this time.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: At Christmas, they’ll talk Cara into signing. INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – DAY; CONSPIRACY, HIDDEN LAYER

Christmas gifts are wrapped at Mindy’s parents’ house. Mindy pulls Cara aside and urges her to sign the executor/guardian paperwork. Cara wants a better explanation than “Mike really wants you to sign this one too.” And Mindy says Mike promised his dad he’d look out for the farm and Randi can’t stand up to his brothers alone. She’ll need you on this.

Cara wants time to think about it and Mindy slips off to her bedroom to do some mind control work. Mike walks in and is not pleased. He slips out before she sees him and looks concerned.

Open Loop: What is Mind Control work and what is she controlling? Why does Mike hate it?

Mystery: How did Mindy know that Mike would rely on Cara? How did she know that Cara would do whatever Mike wants her to?

Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Cara will be facing a dilemma soon.
INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – EVENING; CONSPIRACY, DECEPTION

The Christmas gifts are unwrapped and Mindy corners Cara to sign the paper again. Cara objects mildly asking Mindy to explain it more fully, but Mindy says, trust me.

Cara signs.

Open Loop: Why did Cara sign for Mindy?

Mystery: Why is this agreement needed?

Empathy/Distress: Cara is feeling pressured by Mindy.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. CHICAGO HOUSE – MORNING; IMMINENT THREAT, INTRIGUING WORLD, SUSPICION

Mindy wakes with a start from a dream. She tells Mike that
it was a premonition of her death and wonders if Cara or Jim are plotting to have her die. Mike poo poos the notion.
Cara asks what the problem is and Mike leaves while she repeats her fear to Cara. Mindy says she’ll use Mind control to see if it’s true and Cara says it’s nonsense — no one would want her dead. It’s probably because she’s making changes to her will that she even thought about death in a dream.

Cara looks intently at Mike and he feels it and turns to smile at here. There is still chemistry there. Mindy sees it and heads to her room where she does some mind control work again and is baffled by the results.

Open Loop: What results did Mindy get from her mind control work?

Mystery: What’s really going on between Cara and Mike?

Empathy/Distress: Mindy isn’t being taken seriously and she is scared.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Cara’s reaction later to Mike’s death. INT. CAR – DAY; SUSPICION, INTRIGUING WORLD

In a car after Christmas, Cara and Mindy are headed out for some after Christmas shopping. Cara catches Mindy doing mind control while they are driving and asks if she uses it a lot and if she uses it to get people to do things they don’t want to do. Mindy demurs.

Cara asks her point blank if she used it to get her to sign the guardianship agreement. Mindy says no, of course not,
but is not convincing. Cara is distracted by her answer and they are nearly in a wreck. After they are on their way again, Cara pulls over. Is that what you saw in your dream? If so, your foreknowledge just prevented your death. See? I told you mind control was really useful. They laugh.

Open Loop: What are all the things Mindy has used mind control for?

Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: They are nearly killed in a car accident. Payoff: Her premonition came true.
Irony: She thought she was going to die and nearly did. Setup: She really will die soon.
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; MYSTERY

NYE at the farmhouse and Mike and Mindy are prepping to go to a party. Mindy says if the sheriff or one of his deputies is at the party, she’s going to tell them about Molly’s death. He says no way. We agreed on January. They banter about after midnight vs the 2nd. Cara calls.

Mike signals they have to go and Mindy whispers that they’re not done talking about Molly and they’ll talk in the car.

Open Loop: What did they learn about Molly? Mystery: Why did Mike want to wait? Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The knowledge will die with them.
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – NIGHT; IMMINENT THREAT, CONSPIRACY

In this replay of the opening scene, Mindy is finishing up her conversation with Cara and they wave goodbye and get in the car. Mike asks if they should finish their discussion about Molly.

They argue briefly about telling a sheriff or deputy at the party and Mike wins again by agreeing to go to the sheriff’s office with her on the 2nd, first thing. They crown the hill and a train is stopped across the tracks again. No brakes and a crash is imminent. They both have a moment of realization and say “Molly”.

Open Loop: What did they find out about Molly’s death?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Mindy was right about her premonition of death.

Irony: Mindy forgot about the premonition after the false alarm with Cara.

Setup: Mysteries around Mindy, Mike and Molly’s deaths now. INT. CARA’S LA APARTMENT – NIGHT; WOUND, HIDDEN LAYER

Cara lets her boyfriend into the apartment, dressed and ready for NYE. They kiss and her boyfriend hints that it’s going to be a very special night for them. Then she gets a phone call from a number in Iowa that she doesn’t recognize. She takes it.

Cara sinks into a chair at the news of Mike and Mindy’s death and says she must go to Iowa immediately. Her boyfriend is angry since she might as well go to the party tonight because she won’t get a flight out until morning at the earliest. She is incensed that he is so insensitive that she would go to a party after learning that her lifelong friend and her husband, people she just spent the holidays with, are dead. The boyfriend is angry that she won’t go and she throws him out of the apartment accusing him of being selfish and insensitive. She crumples in grief.

Open Loop: Was he going to propose at the party? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Cara’s boyfriend has no empathy for her – clearly into his own plans for the evening.

Payoff:

Irony: she has to bail when she was finally going to get the proposal she’s wanted.

Setup: Cara has to go to Iowa. INT. CARA’S LA APARTMENT – MORNING;

Cara is on the phone with her assistant while packing her bags to leave for Iowa. They agree to cancel or reschedule all of her appointments, giving some of the urgent cases to her partner at the business. Cara’s roommate helps her with the bags and asks if she got ahold of the boyfriend. She has not. He must have blocked her.

Cara tells her roommate she’ll probably be bringing the kids back to LA with her and rent out the farmland. The roommate argues that it’s a 2 bedroom place. Cara says they were letting the place go when the lease was up anyway because they were both getting married — or so they thought — and says they’ll discuss it and work something out when she gets back.

Open Loop: What will happen to Cara’s apartment? Is the boyfriend done with her?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Cara can’t think of anything except being where she is supposed to be.

Payoff: Irony:

Setup: Cara has a very different plan for what will happen to the kids than Mindy and Mike did.

EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING; INTRIGUING WORLD, MYSTERY

Cara’s GPS tells her she’s “Arrived” and she looks over the farmstead. Just like the pictures. The twins greet her with hugs and tears. Randi says it’s great to meet in person after all these years. It’s strange she only comes to the farm after Mike and Mindy — well,

The twins lead Cara to the house and say they’re glad she’ll be here to take care of them now with Aunt Randi. Randi looks askance at the trio heading in ahead of her.

Open Loop: Why hadn’t Cara been to the farm before?

Mystery: Why can’t Randi keep the kids?

Empathy/Distress: Everyone is sad because Mindy and Mike died.

Payoff: Irony:

Setup: Cara isn’t planning on staying and they are planning on her doing so.

INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY; DECEPTION, SECRET

The funeral reception line includes Mindy’s parents, the twins, Cara and Randi. Jim and his sons approach and Randi is not pleased to see them in line. Cara has heard of Jim for years, but doesn’t associate him with his reputation as charming,

but problematic.

Jim greets Cara and there is an instant connection that frightens Cara with its strength. Randi breaks up their brief conversation by grabbing Jim’s hand and moving him forward in the line. Cara looks at Jim as he’s drawn away, wondering why Randi stole him from her. Then Hunter take her hand and greets her in honest sympathy and friendliness. She is drawn to him.

Open Loop: Is Jim a good guy or a bad buy? Mystery: Why does Randi dislike him so much?

Empathy/Distress: Cara is part of the family, but no one knows her except the 4 Campions, two of whom are now dead.

Payoff:

Irony: She was the threat to Molly and now she and Jim are the only ones left.

Setup: Will Jim and Cara get it on?

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; INTRIGUING WORLD; HIDDEN AGENDA

The will concludes with the reading of the codicil that names Cara the guardian of the twins and executor of the estate. Mindy’s parents are surprised, but pleased as they’ve known Cara all her life. The kids are surprised and pleased until she says she’s going to love having them live with her in LA until their old enough to come back to the farm.

The kids don’t want to go, Randi is appalled that Cara would consider it, but Cara maintains that Mindy and Mike knew she had a career and a life in LA and never suggested she come to

the farm. The kids plead, Randi fusses and Cara is genuinely surprised that anyone thought she would stay in Iowa. Mindy’s parents stop the fussing by saying that clearly, everyone is not on the same page and it will work itself out.

Open Loop: Will Cara bring the kids to LA? Why wouldn’t she since she’s been left in charge?

Mystery: Why did Mike and Mindy leave Cara in charge? Why not Randi?

Empathy/Distress: The kids don’t want to leave their home and Cara doesn’t want to leave hers either.

Payoff:

Irony: Mindy’s life could have been Cara’s if she’d left Mike alone.

Setup: Cara will struggle with where to live.
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; DECEPTION, HIDDEN AGENDA

Mindy’s parents have gone back to Chicago. Cara talks to Randi about all of the neighbors who have volunteered to take on the rental land to lighten Randi’s load. Cara doesn’t understand that rental land is highly sought after and not to be given away under any circumstances.

Cara believes that renting out the land is better than trying to farm it without Mike and Mindy. Randi sits Cara down and lectures her about rental land. Cara ponders. Angry, yet recognizing there is some truth to what Randi is saying based on what Mindy told her over the years, unwilling to accept that people would be so money-grubbing.

Open Loop: Will Cara stay or go?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Cara is a babe in the woods here.

Payoff:

Irony: Randi, who can’t be in charge, knows a lot more about this than Cara who is in charge.

Setup: Will Cara do the right thing with the land? EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING;

While prepping breakfast, Randi brings Cara a cup of coffee as a peace offering. Randi asks if Cara’s boyfriend will join her in Iowa or if they’ll do the long distance thing. It would be good to have another man around on the farm.

Cara says she’s not sure she even has a boyfriend anymore after she refused to go to the NYE party. Randi rubs her shoulder in empathy and sits with her. Randi says it’s been a tragedy for everyone.

Open Loop: Will Cara’s boyfriend become her ex? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Randi does sympathize with Cara and so do we.

Payoff:

Irony: Cara lost the love of her life and her boyfriend on the same night.

Setup: Cara will be giving up more than a home and career if she moves to Iowa.

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – DAY; MYSTERY, WOUND

Cara talks to the twins about LA and how much they would like living there, describing her house and that her roommate is getting married in a few months so they’ll have more room. Randi listens in from the doorway, stepping back to hear Cara’s wishes received with pushback from the twins about all they would give up.

Randi goes to the kitchen and hugs the family pet, talking to it about needing to get Cara to stay or the twins’ legacy will be at risk and she’s promised they’ll get it when they are of age. She hugs and pets the pet in sadness, finally looking up for guidance and help.

Open Loop: What is wrong with Randi? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Randi has her heart in the right place thinking of the kids’ legacy.

Payoff:
Irony: She’s keeping secrets. Setup:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON;

Cara comes into the kitchen for more coffee and Randi stops her to talk. Randi gives her the lowdown on land prices, farm history and the need to keep all of the land together. Cara argues that Randi is asking her to give up a marriage and children of her own to stay on the farm.

Randi questions whether Cara and her boyfriend are right for each other. Mindy never thought so. Cara grows furious at that and slams down her cup, breaking it. Randi apologizes and so does Cara and they clean up the glass together. As Cara gets another cup of coffee and leaves the kitchen, Randi offers a smart-ass retort to Cara’s marriage dream with her CA boyfriend (perhaps, “I’m not asking you to give up your boyfriend and having babies. Mike and Mindy asked you to take over their lives here if anything happened to them and you agreed to do it.”

Open Loop: Will Cara stay? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Cara has lost a lot and is being asked to give up more.

Payoff:

Irony: Cara acts like she has a decision to make, but as Randi said, she already agreed so the decision is already made.

Setup: What will Cara decide?
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; WOUND, IMMINENT THREAT

Cara finally gets her boyfriend on the phone. She tells him that they want her to stay for 7 or 8 years, until the kids are of age and can take over the farm. He tells her she’s insane. She has practically promised him she would marry him and they would have kids right away because that is what she wanted. Has she changed her mind about that?

Cara paces more and more wildly (caged animal style) as the phone call goes on. Her boyfriend says he’s not willing to move so that’s that. She says maybe I can split my time. Dragging the kids back and forth? Is that practical? Their aunt Randi could probably take care of them. Then Aunt Randi can run the farm too. You come back to LA or we’re done.

Open Loop: Will the boyfriend remain? Why can’t Randi help with the kids?

Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Cara has no good choice here. Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; CONSPIRACY, HIDDEN AGENDA

Cara’s financial interests have not been considered by Randi or the kids. Food is passed around and eaten eagerly up front, but then fades to people toying with their food as they realize how hard this will be for Cara.

The kids and Randi push hard about her obligation to Mike and Mindy and Cara finally storms out saying she cares for them all, but she needs to decide this for herself, not be pushed into it. It is her life too, not just theirs.

Open Loop: Will Cara give up her life? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: the kids have valid points, but so does Cara.

Payoff:
Irony: No choice makes everyone happy.
Setup:
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – NIGHT; WOUND, DECEPTION

Cara talks on the phone with her boyfriend again. She proposes bringing the kids back to LA, but spending planting and harvesting season on the farm with them so they’ll learn farming and the farm will have the required help.

Frustrated that Cara is treating him like an afterthought as she has always done, putting her career above their relationship, he says he barely sees her now. How would that work. Cara is holding a photo of Mindy’s family and Randi as she reasons with her boyfriend and drops it, shattering the glass. She tells him she can’t just leave them. She has an obligation. He abruptly says goodbye.

Open Loop: Will the boyfriend come around? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: The boyfriend feels like he’s 2nd banana to everything else. Cara is torn.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Difficult decision in the future

INT. MOLLY’S FARM – EVENING; CONSPIRACY, SECRET IDENTITY

Jim and his sons sit down to dinner and Jim talks about how they can get to farm the Campion rental land this year and eventually take it over permanently. Hunter says that all of the people who rented land to Mike and Mindy have a personal relationship and are sort of family to the Campions. Jim argues they’ll kill Cara with kindness to get her to let them “help”.

Jim doesn’t like what he’s hearing from Hunter, stabs his meat and shovels in food more harshly as the conversation gets more heated. Jim tells the boys they have no choice. They need more land or their farm will go under. He storms out and Hunter comforts Gabe who was rattled by Jim’s violent words.

Open Loop: Will Jim take advantage of Cara?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Hunter and Gabe don’t deserve this violence. Payoff:
Irony: He’s angry, but talking about killing with kindness Setup: Sets up future antipathy between Hunter and Jim.
EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING; WOUND, IMMINENT THREAT

Randi has heard from some land owners asking if they should find new renters. Since her old arguments haven’t convinced Cara she needs to stay, she tries a new one. She tells Cara that Mike’s brothers will be down from Alaska in June and if Cara and Randi aren’t farming the land in the twins’ name, Mike’s brothers may try to take if from them.

Cara doesn’t understand how they might do that, but as they survey the buildings on the farmstead, she ponders how she could square the kids losing their legacy with her promise to Mike – and Mindy. Any parent would do that for their kids, right?

Open Loop: Will Cara stay?
Mystery: What is up with the Alaska brothers? Empathy/Distress: Cara has an impossible choice to make Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:

EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON; HIDDEN AGENDA, DECEPTION

Cara is out at the road getting the mail and Jim pulls up in his pickup. He tells her he’ll help with all of the family. Chatting and mild flirting ensue as Jim leans out the window farther and Cara gets closer to the pickup.

Jim pats her hand on the mirror and tells her she can trust him. The flirtation throws Cara off guard.

Open Loop: Will Cara fall for the flirtation? Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:

Irony: Cara is looking for a partner, but this is too quick, too suspicious

Setup: What will go on between Cara and Jim in the future?

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; CONSPIRACY, MYSTERY, SUSPICION

Randi has been watching the flirtation from the house and when Cara comes in with the mail, she says she needs to set Cara straight about Jim. Cara denies flirting with Jim, but Randi goes on to talk about Molly’s death.

Cara paces while she listens and they move closer and farther apart as the story progresses. Cara admits the death was mysterious at best and Randi says she thinks Mike and Mindy had some doubts about it being a suicide – before their deaths.

Open Loop: Will Cara steer clear of Jim?
Mystery: Did Jim cause Molly’s death? Was it murder?

Empathy/Distress: Cara thought she had a potential mate, but the rug is pulled out immediately.

Payoff:

Irony: Flirting, but denying it, her object of flirtation is then proposed as a murderer.

Setup: Why did Mike and Mindy die as Molly had?

EXT. CAMPION FARM – MORNING; SECRET, DECEPTION, HIDDEN AGENDA

Randi is inspecting the medical report again and decides that she needs to get Cara to commit – soon. She asks Cara to take a walk with her on a cold crisp morning.

Cara is still on the fence, wanting to keep her old life and keep the farm for the kids. She is negotiating about her planting/harvest proposal.

Randi says she can’t expect equipment to be ready at the needed time if she’s not working on it and there is year round business on the farm, including the dairy and hog operations that will need her supervision. Cara wants to wait until summer to make the decision because so many people have offered to help in the mean time. Randi levels with her that the

farm needs to firmly be in her hands before leases are up March 1st or people will rent to someone else and once they do that, the kids will never get that land back to rent.

Open Loop: What is wrong with Randi?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Cara has a tough decision to make Payoff:

Irony:
Setup:

EXT. CAMPION FARM – AFTERNOON; CONSPIRACY, INTRIGUING WORLD

The twins come home from school and catch Cara out in the machine shop looking things over. The plead with her to stay so they don’t have to lose their friends and neighbors and so they’ll learn more about farming every year. They say they’ll help her farm if she stays. She tells them she has a life in LA that she needs to get back to. They guilt her by reminding her she promised their mom she’d take care of them and the farm.

As they walk around the shop, the kids point out lifts, tools, machinery parts, etc. And Cara considers what they’ve already learned about farming. She sends the kids in for their after school snack that Randi has for them and watches them go across the yard. She’s reconsidering.

Open Loop: Will Cara stay? Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Guilt about having promised to take care of the kids and the farm.

Payoff:
Irony: The kids know more about farming than she does. Setup: Cara’s making the decision.

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – EVENING; STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Cara is in her room and settles in to do some mind control work as Mindy has done in the past. She asks the universe to tell her whether she should stay or go. The mind control work looks a little mysterious as she does it. She writes a plus/minus analysis of the farm vs. LA and decides she must stay.

Open Loop: Will Cara stay
Mystery: What is this mind control work? Empathy/Distress: Tough decision to make
Payoff: Looks like the decision is imminent. Irony:
Setup:
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – MORNING; CONSPIRACY, WOUND

Cara is out getting the mail again and Jim pulls up and talks briefly and flirts. Cara asks some questions about Molly and Jim dodges them while trying to flirt and grieve at once. As Cara walks back from the mailbox to the driveway, Jim follows her. She stops to continue talking, but inches farther from his truck when he obfuscates more on his answers.

Deciding this isn’t getting him anywhere, Jim says bye and drives off, checking Cara out in his rear view mirror and looking guilty as her gaze at him is a combination of lust and baby-timer-ticking.

Open Loop: Will Cara stay? Will Jim and Cara get together? Mystery: What happened to Molly?

Empathy/Distress: Cara doesn’t know if she can trust Jim at all.

Payoff:

Irony: Jim looks like the only viable baby maker, but he’s also a possible murderer.

Setup:
INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – MORNING; HIDDEN AGENDA, SECRET

Cara returns to the house with the mail and tells Randi that she’s seriously thinking about staying. Randi recoils as Cara looks fondly out the window toward Jim’s place.

Randi takes the bull by the horns and mentions Molly’s suicide several times, saying she hopes Cara isn’t thinking of Jim as a boyfriend.

Cara says of course she’s not interested, but that he’s offered to help her learn the ropes of farming. They are preparing lunch together and are working more or less in sync on that.
A friendship has formed. Cara swears again she’s not thinking of Jim that way, but looks a little dreamy when she looks out the window again. Randi is clearly frustrated and frightened.

Open Loop: Will Jim and Cara get together?
Mystery: What happened to Molly?
Empathy/Distress: Cara really, really wants a baby. Payoff: She’s considering staying.

Irony: Cara’s considering staying, but for a very bad reason – Jim.

Setup:
EXT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; WOUND, INTRIGUING WORLD

Hunter comes in with the kids after school to talk to Cara. She is predisposed to like him since she’s heard so many good things about him from Mindy and Randi. Hunter offers his services as a mentor/hired hand for Cara since he’s helped Mike’s dad and Mike with the farm equipment. He says he wants to help her keep the farm for the kids even though his dad would rather farm it for her – you know, take it over entirely.

Hunter takes a photo album from a shelf and shows her all the photos of him with Mike’s dad and Mike, describing the equipment and what they were doing. Cara catches her breath with each photo that includes Mike. Cara comments on how integral he’s been to the farm’s success and she definitely wants to continue having him help them. Randi, satisfied, asks Hunter to stay for dinner.

Open Loop:
Mystery: What was Hunter’s role in Mike and Mindy’s family?

Empathy/Distress: Cara needs a friend and seems to have one in Hunter

Payoff:
Irony: Cara lusts after the dad, but trusts the son. Setup: How will Hunter figure in Cara’s farming?

INT. CAMPION FARMHOUSE – AFTERNOON; STRANGE BEHAVIOR, WOUND, SECRET

Cara slips away from dinner before dessert to review her LA/IA list again, says she’s staying, looks at the photo with the broken glass and does some more mind control to see if she had anything to do with Mike and Mindy’s deaths.

Now she’s talking to the family pet that she is concerned she might have had something to do with it telling the pet his dad was such a good man. Everyone loved him. She does some mind control work – by now, a familiar ritual – and shakes her head – no definitive answer. She tells the pet, maybe I’m just feeling guilty – or lost without them. She hugs the pet.

Open Loop:
Mystery: What was her real relationship with Mike?

Empathy/Distress: She’s definitely missing her friends, but also guilty.

Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
EXT. CAMPION FARM – CONTINUOUS; IMMINENT THREAT

With dessert over, Hunter and the rest of the family chat amicably until they hear Jim’s truck pull on the yard. Hunter grabs his jacket and school bag in a hurry, apologizing for having stayed so long and not let his dad know where he is.

Jim is halfway to the door before Hunter is out and gives him a verbal tongue lashing as he rousts him back toward the pickup. The Campions can hear snatches that include him not volunteering to help them when they could get the land. They stop at the truck door and Jim punctuates his loudest accusations with backhands to Hunter’s head, pushes, etc. Hunter, head down, gets into the truck and slumps against the door as far away from Jim as possible. The twins flinch saying Hunter’s in big trouble now, Randi gasps with each smack and Cara looks disillusioned and shocked.

Open Loop: How violent is Jim?
Mystery: What happened to Molly?
Empathy/Distress: Cara is torn between Jim and Hunter Payoff:

Irony: Setup:

[r. reid jr]

R. Reid Jr’s Outline With Intrigue Mod 3 Less.7

What I learned doing this assignment is to set this up to have the whole story told where it is not able to be put down.

ASSIGNMENT

Complete your outline.

1. With each scene, determine the MAIN INTRIGUE that you will emphasize in that scene.

Intriguing World: Deception and New worlds of learning
Mystery: Who is the Woman who know Bruce who lost his ID
Secret: Who the main character really is.
Deception: Bruce trying to pose an insurance agent to the bank and agents and returning student to Snowy and group.
Conspiracy: Bruce is really behind THE TECH
Secret Identity: THE MYSTERIOUS WOMAN
Wound: THE FEMALE AGENT’S PAST
Hidden Agenda: the lead agent willing to sell out the other.
Hidden Layer: Bruce doesn’t want the investigation to work.
Strange Behavior: Of the lead
Imminent Threat: Being found out by the Agents and or by Snowy as some kind of spy.
Suspicion: Who is the Mysterious woman and should be trusted?

2. Put the main intrigue of your scene in the Slugline.

The hidden agendas of Bruce are about to be brought to question when his 3 worlds are about to collide.

Then give us the open loops, mystery, empathy/distress, payoff, irony, and setups that will show up in this scene.

INT. CAMPUS– DAY:

MAIN INTRIGUE If Bruce is scene he will be found out by Snowy and the Agents in some way.

Description: Agents enter the campus from the distance they are handing out a paper asking students if they have seen someone on the paper.

Open Loop: Will he find the TECH

Mystery: Who is the Mysterious woman.

Empathy/Distress: Bruce starts to remember who he is in bits and pieces.

Payoff: Bruce helps Snowy feel alive again.

Irony: Helping Snowy regain herself means keeping her in the dark.

Setup: Trusting the Mysterious woman means keeping everyone in the dark (the agents and Snowy).

[Rob Sutherland]

Rob’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is the benefit of really drilling into each scene to ensure it contains enough intrigue to warrant staying in the script, and to ensure that the scenes all for from one to another in a sequence of cause and effect rather than random events.

This one took me a long time. I think it was worth it. I skipped a few of the short scenes which were really just intercuts with other scenes.

TEASER:

INT. CLUB – NIGHT (Secret Identity)

A young stud tries to hit on an attractive woman, but she rebuffs him.

Start: A woman sits at a bar

Challenging Situation: A stud tries to hit on her

Conflict: The woman doesn’t want to talk to the stud

Action: The stud pretends to be cool

Finish: The stud gives up and leaves her alone

Open Loop: Who is this gorgeous woman? What is going to happen to her?

Mystery: Why is she in the bar?

Empathy/Distress: Is she going to offend the stud by rebuffing him

Payoff: None – this is Scene 1

Irony: None

Setup: The woman’s identity and true intentions are about to be revealed

EXT. STREET / ALLEYWAY – NIGHT (INTRIGUING WORLD)

The young stud and his friends try to rape the woman but she turns out to be a demon in disguise and kills them all.

Start: The woman strolls down the street

Challenging Situation: She is attacked by the studs

Conflict: The studs are planning to rape her

Action: The studs drag her into an alleyway

Finish: The woman kills them – reveal: she lured them there in the first place!

Open Loop: Who is this demon and what are her intentions?

Mystery: Why did she kill the youths? Who else has she killed?

Empathy/Distress: This woman is evil and super-dangerous

Payoff: She was only pretending to be vulnerable but actually just lured them into a trap

Irony: Classic trope – “Mugging the monster”

Setup: Demons are at large and someone is going to have to stop them.

ACT 1:

INT. MUSEUM – DAY (IMMINENT THREAT)

We meet Julia Lockhart, an archaeologist, chatting with a close colleague about her recent failed archaeological dig. Her boss, Vincent, summons her to his office.

Says to herself “Suck it up, Julia. Behave yourself.”

Start: Julia is trying not to think about her failed dig

Challenging Situation: A colleague asks her about it

Conflict: Julia is avoiding talking about it

Action: Walking through the dinosaur exhibits

Finish: Julia’s boss, Vincent, summons her to his office

Open Loop: How is Vincent going to react?

Mystery: Why is Julia’s boss angry?

Empathy/Distress: Julia is worried about her boss

Payoff: None – this is the start of act 1

Irony: The dig was a failure – but actually a world-shattering success

Setup: Vincent is a bully.

INT. VINCENT’S OFFICE – DAY (HIDDEN AGENDA)

Vincent chastises Julia for the money wasted on the dig, which was organised based on her instincts and research, then sends her away contemptuously.

Start: Vincent calmly asks about the dig. Julia is nervous

Challenging Situation: Vincent is angry about money and reputation wasted on the dig and belittles Julia for her failure

Conflict: Vincent explodes in rage

Action: Julia takes it, then explodes back at him and gets fired

Finish: Julia gets fired

Open Loop: What was Julia supposed to find on the dig that Vincent expected?

Mystery: Why is Vincent so angry? Why did it matter to him so much?

Empathy/Distress: Julia is bullied by her boss

Payoff: Vincent is a bully

Irony: Vincent fires Julia even though she is the one who has what he needs

Setup: What Julia found on the dig will change the fate of the world.

INT. JULIA’S OFFICE AT THE MUSEUM – DAY (WOUND)

Julia catalogues a few uninteresting items (bones, etc) collected from the dig, fuming at her mistreatment by her boss.

Her friend / colleague suggests they grab a drink but she has undefined, mysterious “plans” for the evening. Her colleague asks if she has a big night planned. “Something like that.”

Start: Julia unhappily packs her things

Challenging Situation: She is unhappy about being fired and kicks herself for her rebelliousness

Conflict: Julia wonders whether to apologise or not

Action: Her colleague asks her out for a consoling drink

Finish: Julia sadly leaves her office and shuts the door on an Indiana Jones poster

Open Loop: What is Julia going to do now for work?

Mystery: Why is Julia so passionate about archaeology?

Empathy/Distress: Julia has no job now!

Payoff: Julia told herself to behave and then failed to do so.

Irony: Julia being fired takes her away from the den of evil of her boss

Setup: Julia is ready for a new challenge – fighting demons!

EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY (STRANGE BEHAVIOUR)

Detective Brendan White investigates the scene of the young studs’ deaths as his team collects evidence. He has a prosthetic arm.

One of his colleagues urges him to return to the station about a development in another case.

Start: Studs have been murdered

Challenging Situation: Cops collect evidence about the studs’ death – wonder if it is murder or suicide, jurisdictional conflict with local police

Conflict: Detective White takes control from a doofus homicide detective

Action: White demonstrates his smarts, wit and authority

Finish: White takes control of the scene, then departs

Open Loop: Will Detective White find the killer, and what will he do if he does?

Mystery: What is the significance of Detective White scratching his prosthetic arm? How did he lose his arm?

Empathy/Distress: Four dead kids and no clues to the killer

Payoff: The demon’s victims’ bodies have been found

Irony: The cops are looking for a murderer, but will get a shock if they find her!

Setup: White is a respected cop with authority and dogged determination and will find his prey

INT. POLICE CAR – DAY (MYSTERY)

En-route, Detective White glances at a headline at a newsstand: “Mirage at Large”, and scowls.

Start: White is on his way to the police station

Challenging Situation: Bad traffic (“Now there’s a creative interpretation of the road rules”)

Conflict: White is angry about the Mirage

Action: White chats with his colleague as they travel

Finish: They get to the station

Open Loop: Who is the Mirage and why is White angry at him?

Mystery: What is White’s history with The Mirage?

Empathy/Distress: White doesn’t believe in luck or chance

Payoff: White has a phantom itch

Irony: White is a gambler

Setup: We are shortly to discover who the Mirage is.

INT. POLICE STATION HOLDING CELL – DAY (STRANGE BEHAVIOUR)

Detective White interviews a criminal, Adrian Morris, after a human-trafficking bust. White knows Morris as a brutal psychopath, but now Morris is sobbing remorsefully and confessing after being captured by a mysterious figure he calls “The Mirage”.

Start: Adrian Morris has been arrested

Challenging Situation: Morris is terrified of the Mirage

Conflict: White can’t get anything useful from the convict

Action: White interrogates Morris

Finish: White abandons the interrogation

Open Loop: Will White catch the Mirage?

Mystery: What did the Mirage do to Morris?

Empathy/Distress: White just wants to find out what happened

Payoff: This is the situation mentioned at the crime scene

Irony: White is angry even though a hardened criminal has been brought to justice

Setup: White is going to hunt the Mirage

INT. POLICE STATION OFFICE – DAY (MYSTERY)

White confers with colleagues about Morris’s apparent conversion and confession as a result of his encounter with the Mirage.

He interviews one of the trafficking victims who saw the Mirage as he intercepted the truck carrying the abductees, but the information is sketchy.

They look at Morris’s dash cam footage, revealing a dark and powerful figure with a face hidden in heat haze.

Start: White is skeptical about Morris’s “performance”

Challenging Situation: Conflicting and confusing information about Morris and his encounter with the Mirage

Conflict: White wants to catch the Mirage and Morris isn’t helping

Action: White confers with colleagues and abductees

Finish: White wants to solve this mystery

Open Loop:

Mystery: Who is the Mirage?

Empathy/Distress: Scary pics of the Mirage

Payoff: This is what Morris was talking about

Irony:

Setup: White is going to hunt the Mirage

EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT (IMMINENT THREAT)

Julia leaves the museum. As she climbs into a taxi she notices someone stalking her from the shadows.

Start: Julia is unhappy with being fired

Challenging Situation: someone is stalking her

Conflict: Fear of the stalker

Action: Gets into a taxi and flees

Finish: Gets into a taxi and flees

Open Loop: Will she get caught by this stalker?

Mystery: Who is the stalker and why is he interested?

Empathy/Distress: Fear of the stalker

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Julia is being hunted by someone for some reason

INT. TAXI – NIGHT (STRANGE BEHAVIOUR)

Julia arrives at a bar.

Start: Julia is en-route to the bar

Challenging Situation: Confusion and doubt about what she is doing

Conflict: Getting lost and confused

Action: Looks about, finding her way, then recognises a place

Finish: Gets out of the taxi

Open Loop: What is Julia doing?

Mystery: Why did Julia come to the bar?

Empathy/Distress: Julia seems lost

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: She is about to meet the Mirage

INT. BAR

Julia has a drink, alone, aimless, unclear why she is there.

Start: Julia has a drink alone

Challenging Situation: Not knowing why she is there or what she is looking for

Conflict: Confusion

Action: Has a drink and chats with the barman

Finish: Still confused

Open Loop:

Mystery: What is Julia doing here?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony: This is the “big night” her colleague referred to

Setup:

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT

The stalker watches her through the window.

Open Loop: Who is this stalker?

Mystery: Why is he after Julia?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: Julia is about to be attacked

INT. BAR – NIGHT

Julia chats briefly with the bar tender. He appears to notice someone outside in the shadows, but dismisses it.

Start: The barman is friendly and nondescript

Challenging Situation: Wondering if someone is outside

Conflict: Julia is in danger without knowing it

Action: Chatting with the barman

Finish: Julia leaves the bar

Open Loop: Did the bartender see or just sense someone outside?

Mystery: Who is the stalker?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony: This is the Mirage and she doesn’t know it yet

Setup: The Mirage knows when he is being watched

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE BAR – NIGHT

Julia exits the bar, sees the stalker and hurries away. The stalker follows.

Start: Julia exits the bar

Challenging Situation: A stalker is on her tail

Conflict: The stalker chases her

Action: Julia flees

Finish: Julia flees and hides

Open Loop: Who is the stalker

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Fear

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: The Mirage is about to rescue her

INT. MULTI-LEVEL CAR PARK – NIGHT

The stalker accosts her and asks her about “The Blade”. She doesn’t know what he is talking about. The barman intervenes and the stalker reveals itself as a powerful demon.

The barman fights it off, ramming it into a concrete pylon, and they flee to safety.

Start: Julia flees from the stalker

Challenging Situation: The stalker is a demon

Conflict: The demon wants something from her but she doesn’t understand

Action: The barman rescues her

Finish: She and the barman flee from the demon

Open Loop: What is “the blade” that the demon refers to? Who is this guy who can fight demons?

Mystery: What do the demons want and why?

Empathy/Distress: Terrifying demons

Payoff: The bartender is not an ordinary guy

Irony: We thought the bartender was going to get killed … but no!

Setup: The Mirage has revealed himself

ACT 2:

EXT. STREETS – NIGHT

Having fled to safety, Julia asks the barman about the demon and about himself. He dismisses her questions and departs.

Start: Julia is terrified by the encounter with the demon

Challenging Situation: Fear of the demon

Conflict: The barman is taciturn; Julia has lots of questions

Action: They talk in the street as they flee through the crowd

Finish: The barman departs

Open Loop: What is Julia going to do next?

Mystery: Who is the bartender?

Empathy/Distress: The demon attack

Payoff:

Irony: The Mirage abandons Julia even though she can help him

Setup: They re going to get together

EXT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

The barman (David) collects the mail and then enters the house, stepping smoothly, ghostlike, THROUGH the front door.

Start: David arrives home

Challenging Situation: checks for surveillance

Conflict: Is anyone watching

Action: Steps through the front door

Finish: Enters the house

Open Loop: The bartender has powers

Mystery: What else can he do and who is he?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. MADELEINE’S BEDROOM – DAY

We meet Madeleine, 85. David reveals his encounter with the demon, clearly not the first he has encountered.

Start: Madeleine is in bed; David enters

Challenging Situation: David is concerned about the demon encounter

Conflict: Madeleine is encouraging; David is despondent, fearful

Action: David agrees to continue his search

Finish: David leaves

Open Loop: What is David searching for?

Mystery: Who is David?

Empathy/Distress: David is sad and lonely

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David is going to hunt demons

EXT. JULIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Julia glances about, furtive, anxious, then unlocks her front door and enters.

A figure watches her from the shadows. It is David. He vanishes and appears …

Start: David watches Julia

Challenging Situation: Julia is mysterious and he wants to know more about her

Conflict: Julia is secretive

Action: David teleports into Julia’s house

Finish: David enters Julia’s house

Open Loop: What is Julia up to?

Mystery: Who is Julia?

Empathy/Distress: She is afraid

Payoff:

Irony: She doesn’t know she is being watched, and David doesn’t know who he is watching!

Setup: David is about to find out some key info

INT. JULIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT

… beside Julia in her living room – but he is invisible to her. He watches her as she moves about the house.

He is shocked when she reveals hand-drawn pictures of the demon they just encountered, along with many others, and of himself.

Open Loop: What do the pictures mean?

Mystery: Where did they come from

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: Julia is not just anybody

Irony: Julia doesn’t know anything about the pictures even though she drew them

Setup: Julia has access to some key info

ACT 3:

Julia is terrified as David reveals himself, materialising before her. He asks about the pictures which she says she drew – based on images in her dreams.

She asks for his help to understand but he refuses, saying to forget about him, then vanishes again.

Start: David watches Julia

Challenging Situation: Julia reveals pictures

Conflict: David is surprised and angry

Action: David appears and interrogates her

Finish: David departs

Open Loop: As above

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. MULTI-LEVEL CAR PARK – DAY

David returns to the scene of the demon attack and watches the fight he had with the demon as though looking back through time.

He looks closely where the demon made contact with the pylon and collects something in a vial, then vanishes again.

Start: David returns to the scene of the attack

Challenging Situation: Collecting samples of demon essence

Conflict: Avoiding being seen by passers by, demons etc

Action: David collects samples

Finish: David leaves with the samples

Open Loop: What is David going to do with these samples

Mystery: Who is David and what does he know about demons

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David is going to test the sample

INT. MADELEINE’S KITCHEN – DAY

David materialises beside Madeleine, who is unfazed by his sudden appearance.

He shows her the vial and she crosses her fingers for luck.

Start: Madeleine is doing dishes

Challenging Situation: David is tense about the forthcoming experiment

Conflict: David fights doubt and

Action: David chats with Madeleine then …

Open Loop: What is David up to?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: This is one of many failed tests

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. MADELEINE’S LIVING ROOM – DAY

David sinks into the floor, passing through the floorboards …

Finish: … David descends into the floor

INT. GROUND – DAY

David passes through the soil, rock, etc, descending into …

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB – DAY

David descends from the ceiling and lands nimbly on the floor.

He puts the contents of the vial through various processes – chemicals, arcane substances, artefacts – but he is disappointed with the result.

Start: David descends into his underground lab

Challenging Situation: Wrestling with the demon’s essence – it fights back like an angry bug

Conflict: David fights to get the essence into the vial

Action: David tests the essence, then destroys it

Finish: The experiment has failed

Open Loop: What is david hunting for? What does a failed experiment mean?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: David is hunting for something and the samples are part of it

Irony: he is hunting for … himself!

Setup: David will find what he is looking for

EXT. RAILWAY STATION – DAY

The stalker-demon senses some of its essence being destroyed and flinches angrily.

Open Loop: The demons know about the Mirage

Mystery: What is the link between the demons and David?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – DAY

David reports back to Madeleine the “negative” result. She shares his disappointment.

They see a press conference on TV of Brendan White discussing the Mirage and the mysterious case of the young men killed in the alleyway.

Start: Madeleine is hopeful

Challenging Situation: David reports the failed experiment

Conflict: David is prepared to give up

Action: Madeleine urges him to continue his search

Finish: David gets a new opportunity when Brendan White reports on the murders

Open Loop: Will White catch the Mirage?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: failed experiment

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David sets out to investigate the deaths

ACT 4:

EXT. ALLEYWAY – DAY

David investigates the deaths of the young men. He looks back through time again to see the demon woman kill them.

David follows the “image” of her as she flees the scene.

Start: David investigates the alleyway

Challenging Situation: Lack of evidence

Conflict:

Action: David uses his powers to see back in time and hunt the demon woman

Finish: David follows the demon woman’s image

Open Loop: What is this tracking power that David has? Where will it lead?

Mystery: Who are the demons

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David will find the demon woman

EXT. STREETS – DAY

David follows the demon woman’s image through the streets to a railway station.

Start: David follows the demon woman’s image

Challenging Situation: People milling about – he steps right through them and they don’t notice

Conflict: Hunting the demon woman

Action: Hunting the demon woman

Finish: Still searching

Open Loop: As above

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. RAILWAY STATION – DAY

David follows the demon’s image as it boards a train, then he floats along the subway tunnel (currently empty of trains) until she disembarks at another station.

EXT. HOUSE – DAY

David watches her image as it enters a house then he vanishes.

Start: David finds the demon woman’s home

Challenging Situation: David wrestles with his fear

Conflict: Deciding whether to go inside or not

Action: David enters the house

Finish: David enters the house

Open Loop: What kind of demon lives in a house?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

INT. DEMON WOMAN’S HOUSE – DAY

David materialises inside the house and lets his mystical sight return to the present. Suddenly the demon woman, now in the flesh, appears and attacks him.

They fight. He is momentarily disoriented by her powers and she flees out of the house.

Start: David enters the demon woman’s house

Challenging Situation: The demon woman attacks him

Conflict: David fights the demon woman

Action: The demon woman disorients him with her powers

Finish: The demon woman flees

Open Loop: Will David catch the woman?

Mystery: What other powers does she have?

Empathy/Distress: She attacks him

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David will chase her

EXT. STREETS – DAY

The demon woman flees and finds two policemen, feigning needing their protection from David. Then she kills them, framing David for their murder – a bystander catches him on camera, kneeling over the bodies.

Start: David chases the demon woman

Challenging Situation: The demon woman enlists the help of cops to protect her (why can’t he turn invisible??)

Conflict: Davis tries to get the demon woman away from the cops

Action: The demon woman kills the cops

Finish: David is framed for the cops murder.

Open Loop: What will happen now that David has been framed?

Mystery: Who is the demon woman?

Empathy/Distress: David has been unjustly accused

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: White will hunt David even more fervently

INT. DEMON WOMAN’S HOUSE – DAY

David collects something in the vial that he used before, then vanishes.

INT. UNDERGROUND LAB – DAY

David processes the vial again, and is again disappointed with the negative result.

Start: David is somewhat hopeful about the experiment

Challenging Situation: Doubt about the experiment

Conflict: Frustration with the failed experiments

Action: David tests the essence sample

Finish: The test is another failure.

Open Loop: Still hunting for someone

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: Another failed experiment

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David is about to learn who he needs to hunt

EXT. ROCKY LANDSCAPE – NIGHT

David sits on a rocky outcrop, gazing at the starry sky, deep in thought.

His gaze shifts to the earth in the night sky and we realise he is on the moon.

Start: David reflects on the situation

Challenging Situation: Fear and doubt

Conflict: What to do next

Action: Sitting and reflecting

Finish: Departs the moon

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: David is sad and reflective

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

Scattered across the rocky landscape are numerous corpses, dressed in a range of garb both ancient and modern. They are dusty but otherwise perfectly preserved in the vacuum of space.

Start: The moon is quiet and still, peaceful, but …

Challenging Situation: … there are bodies everywhere

Conflict: Who killed these people?

Action: The aftermath of violence

Finish: Mystery set up

Open Loop: What are all these bodies doing here?

Mystery: Who put these bodies here? Was it David?

Empathy/Distress: Horrible corpses

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: We will meet the teleporting demon who put them here

INT. MORGUE – DAY

Brendan White stands by as the partners of the two policemen identify their bodies.

Stone-faced, he watches the online video of the Mirage at their murder scene.

Consumed with rage, he departs.

Start: Brendan White is wondering what to do

Challenging Situation: He thinks the Mirage killed these cops

Conflict: Brendan White doesn’t know where the Mirage is

Action: The relatives identify the bodies

Finish: Brendan White resolves to capture the Mirage

Open Loop: How is White going to react?

Mystery: Will White find out who really killed the cops?

Empathy/Distress: Close colleagues were killed

Payoff: The demon woman’s framing of David

Irony: White hunts the wrong person

Setup: White is going to hunt the Mirage fervently

EXT. MORGUE – DAY

White paces in unbridled fury.

EXT. CASINO – DUSK

Brendan White watches the entrance for a while, fighting some inner compulsion, then enters.

Start: White wrestles with temptation

Challenging Situation: White has a gambling problem

Conflict: White hates his own weakness but also needs this as an outlet, part of his process

Action: White succumbs to temptation

Finish: White enters the casino

Open Loop: What is White going to do in the casino?

Mystery: What is a cop doing here?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: White doesn’t believe in luck or chance …

Irony: … and yet he plays roulette!

Setup: White has a gambling problem, and a superpower of his own.

INT. CASINO – NIGHT

White sits at the roulette wheel.

He scratches a mysterious itch on his prosthetic arm, a sixth sense that helps him place bets.

Start: White prepares to gamble

Challenging Situation: White doesn’t believe in luck or chance … and yet …?

Conflict: White glares at those around him, keeping them at a distance

Action: White places bets

Finish: White is consumed by his rage amidst the bright lights and spinning numbers.

Open Loop: Will White win or lose money?

Mystery: Does White have a gambling problem?

Empathy/Distress: White is in pain, rage.

Payoff: Apparently there are no superpowers …

Irony: … except White is in control … as a result of his superpower

Setup: White has a superpower

ACT 5:

INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

David and Madeleine discuss the recent demon attacks. He says they seem to be gathering again.

Madeleine encourages David to keep searching for the demon he seeks.

Start: David is determined to find the demon he seeks

Challenging Situation: Madeleine says he must seek Julia’s help

Conflict: David refuses to team up with Julia

Action: David and Madeleine argue

Finish: David shows his stubbornness

Open Loop: What does she mean by “again”?

Mystery: What happened last time they gathered?

Empathy/Distress: Bad demons

Payoff:

Irony: They are gathering because of David

Setup: David will hunt them down

EXT. STREETS NEAR MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Julia arrives at David’s house and tries to photograph him through the window. He sees her and accosts her, then teleports her inside.

But three demons have followed her.

Start: Julia arrives at the house

Challenging Situation: David has been found!

Conflict: Julia tries to photograph David

Action: David accosts Julia and takes her inside

Finish: Three demons approach the house

Open Loop:

Mystery: How did Julia find him?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: David knows when he is being watched

Irony: David thought his home was safe … but Julia, his ally, brought the demons to his doorstep

Setup: A fight scene is coming!

INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

David battles the three demons as they try to kill Julia and Madeleine.

Some of his memories return and he discovers a new power – his voice can harm the demons and they flee.

Start: Demons enter the house

Challenging Situation: David cannot fight all three at once

Conflict: David tries to keep Madeleine and Julia safe by fighting the demons (why can’t he teleport them away?)

Action: Julia helps David remember his powers

Finish: David repels the demons with his new voice power

Open Loop: Will David win? Who will die? What do the demons want?

What is his voice power?

Mystery: Why does David have a voice power?

Empathy/Distress: Threat from the demons

Payoff: David is the Mirage

Irony: This is necessary for David to wake up

Setup: David will hunt the demons

INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

Julia, Madeleine and David recover in the aftermath of the battle. Julia asks who David is but he refuses to answer and departs to track the demons, hoping to find who sent them.

Start: The aftermath of the demon attack

Challenging Situation: Who sent the demons?

Conflict: David is angry with Julia for bringing the demons and exhausted by the fight

Action: David and Julia argue

Finish: David departs to track them

Open Loop: What will David do now?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: His home has been invaded

Payoff: David is the Mirage

Irony:

Setup: David will hunt demons

EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT

Julia’s boss, Vincent, departs the museum.

Something stalks him from the shadows: it is the three demons David fought, all wounded.

They report to Vincent, kneeling before him!

Start: The demons appear to be stalking Vincent

Challenging Situation: Vincent appears to be in danger

Conflict: The demons approach Vincent

Action: Vincent confronts the demons

Finish: The demons kneel before him and report to him

Open Loop: What is Vincent’s connection to David and the demons?

Mystery: Who is Vincent, really?

Empathy/Distress: Vincent is a bad dude

Payoff: Vincent was hoping for more from the archaeological dig … and it has something to do with the demons

Irony: Julia found what he was looking for and he didn’t know it

Setup: Vincent is going to go up against the Mirage

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

David tracks the “residues” of the demons through the streets, across roof tops etc where they have travelled.

Start: David is tracking the demons

Challenging Situation: The demons are running away, injured, dazed, confused

Conflict: The demons are fleeing, David in pursuit

Action: David hunts the demons

Finish: David looks like catching up to the demons

Open Loop: Will David catch the demons / Vincent?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: David needs to find them and where they come from.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT. MUSEUM – NIGHT

Vincent reveals an amulet and waves it over the demons kneeling before him.

Start: The demons fear Vincent

Challenging Situation: Vincent knows David will be tracking him

Conflict: Vincent orders the demons to be silent

Action: Vincent erases the trail that David can follow

Finish: The demon residue dissolves

EXT. CITY – NIGHT

The residues of the demons dissolve – David can no longer track them!

Start: David tracks the demons

Challenging Situation: The demons’ path has been erased

Conflict: David wants to catch them

Action: David abandons the search

Finish: The demon residue dissolves and he gives up

Open Loop: Will David discover Vincent’s secret?

Mystery: What is this amulet and where did it come from?

Empathy/Distress: David can’t track the demons now.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: David will need to find new resources to hunt the demons.

INT. CASINO – NIGHT

White collects his winnings and departs with a wad of cash. The cashier knows his name.

Start: White collects his cash

Challenging Situation: Shame about winning all the time – the cashier knows his (false) name

Conflict: Inner conflict about the nature of his winning abilities, his superpowers

Action: White collects his cash

Finish: White exits the casino

Open Loop: What will White do with the money?

Mystery: Why is White a gambler?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff: White’s superpower allows him to win

Irony: White doesn’t believe in superpowers

Setup: White has more resources at his disposal than just smarts

EXT CASINO – NIGHT

White stuffs the wad of cash into an envelope, addresses it and shoves it into a mailbox.

Start: White has a lot of money

Challenging Situation: What to do with it

Conflict: Inner shame

Action:White posts his winnings to a mysterious recipient

Finish: White has resolved his uncontrolled rage into a more targeted form.

Open Loop: Who is White sending money to?

Mystery: What is the money for?

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: is White a bent cop?

INT. POLICE STATION – NIGHT

Detective White slaps a hazy photograph of the Mirage onto a wall, along with an array of evidence, events and question marks.

He is determined to find the Mirage!

Start: Detective White collates he evidence of the Mirage’s activities

Challenging Situation The Mirage is elusive

Conflict: Anger towards the Mirage

Action: Collating evidence

Finish: White resolves to find the Mirage

Open Loop: Will White find the Mirage?

Mystery: Who is the Mirage and where did White’s powers from from?

Empathy/Distress: White is is pain

Payoff: At the morgue, White resolved to act

Irony: The Mirage is White’s ally

Setup: White will hunt the Mirage

INT. MADELEINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT

David returns home to Julia and Madeleine. They pack some things and go on the run, no longer safe at Madeleine’s house.

David asks Julia when the dreams about the demons began.

They are a team now.

Start: David returns home, unsuccessful in tracking the demons

Challenging Situation: The demons know where they are now

Conflict: Julia has information that David needs but won’t admit to needing

Action: David and Julia argue

Finish: David resolves to team up with Julia

Open Loop: Where will David, Julia and Madeleine go now? How will he keep them safe?

Mystery: How will they stop the demons?

Empathy/Distress: No longer having a home

Payoff: David said he would keep Madeleine safe

Irony:

Setup: Going on the run from demons.