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Day 12 Assignment
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9 Replies
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LESSON 12
GEORGE VERONGOS CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that the scene can be massively upgraded and made more interesting by just a couple of minor changes that set off a chain reaction of improvement. It has helped give me material to encourage rewrites, which is something I always procrastinate doing.
SCENE #1
A. Current Scene Logline: During a family dinner, SARAH and JOAN competitively try to keep the details of JOAN kicking SARAH out of the house to themselves.
B. Essence: SARAH has a false sense of security.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges: Sarah talks too much. Joan gets drunk on wine waiting for Sarah and her cousin. Sarah gets emotional as reality sinks in.
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge: Sarah finds out how expensive it is to just live. Joan won’t bail Sarah out when she gets in trouble. Sarah gets mad and dramatically leaves the dinner.
SCENE #2
A. Current Scene Logline: ARI comes home long after school high and hungry only to be fat-shamed by her mother already on her 2nd plastic tumbler of boxed rosé.
B. Essence: Ari’s feelings of isolation and being misunderstood is reinforced by her mother’s behavior.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges: Ari’s mother gets in her head. Ari’s mother compares her to “fat” celebrities. Ari’s mom watches from the kitchen door keeping Ari from eating.
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge: Ari laments to her mother’s watchful eye and, even though she feels ravenous, only takes a Diet Pepsi from the fridge. Ari’s mom thumbs through a magazine commenting about how she doesn’t understand how “fat” celebrities could be considered attractive. Obviously, yet unknowingly how horrible she is making Ari feel.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by George Verongos.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Ed’s Challenging Situations.
What I learned that is improving my writing is how having this structure and process enables a scene to be rewritten easily. Before I felt a need to rewrite a scene but had no idea where or how to start. This process is great for the creative process to kick in. It can be used for any scene and the results are dramatically better without straying away from the story. I’m learning a great scene requires many passes and many techniques can be applied to improve it.
Scene # 1
A. Current Scene Logline: Henry’s looking for his dad’s employees to be selfie partners.
B. Essence: Henry wants respect
GOAL : get selfies for company’s social media make his dad proud of his accomplishment
It’s break time – no one around for pics
Employees conspire against him
He loses his phone
Employees hide or make busy
Make faces – bad/useless selfies
NEEDS: Attention from others
He’s being ignored
Being avoided – on purpose.
Everyone says No – not helping
VALUES: respect
Being lied to
Made fun of behind back
Not taken seriously
WOUND: He’s feels he’s not useful
Yelled at in front of others
Told not to post any pics
Social media is waste of time
Dad doesn’t follow Henry – doesn’t care to
Increase followers not recognized as success
PHYSICAL: The warehouse floor is a dangerous place for a child
Moving equipment/Forklifts
Catwalks
Falling cartons
Conveyors
I’d write the scene as follows with new challenges…
At Pelznikel Toys the Christmas rush is on. Young Henry, the bosses kid, is looking for selfie partners to post on the companies social media. He wants to make his dad proud of him. Henry’s too young to understand employees not wanting to fraternize with the bosses son.
One group of employees form a circle, boxing Henry out as they pretend to have an important meeting. When Henry leaves they kibitz about him behind his back. Other’s scurry away from him in all directions Another turns him down, too busy to help. Feeling blue Henry complains to his dad about the employees not cooperating. Rather than helping, Frank scolds Henry for bothering them when he knows they’re busy – it’s Christmastime! Go make yourself, “useful.”
Dejected, Henry’s rides along on a conveyor belt like an amusement ride. He videos himself using his phone. There’s a bump. Henry drops his phone on a carton behind him. The carton goes down one chute Henry goes down another, separated from his valuable phone. From the phone’s POV, we seeing it traverse through the building. Henry’s in a panic running about trying to keep an eye on the carton. He run’s into working employees, disturbs people doing their jobs. He’s a one boy wrecking crew. As fate has Henry and the carton meet again.
The carton gets handed off and ends up on the top of pallet being transferred by a fork lift. Henry and the fork lift nearly collide. The driver hits the brakes hard. The carton with the phone flies off the fork lift landing in Henry’s lap. Henry’s not surprised at all it worked out but complete oblivious to the chaos he caused in his pursuit. He walks away, happy to have the phone and cool video, unaware the damaged he caused.
Scene 2:
A. Current Scene Logline: Henry’s feeling sorry for himself while BFF, Ezri, has some exciting news to share.
B. Essence: Henry needs a true friend.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
GOAL – It’s been a bad day, Henry needs cheering up
Trip to the mall – goes poorly
Junk food / comfort food court binge
Play video games
Listen to Christmas carolers
Shop lift something
Bratty kids/schoolmates harass him
Runs into mom, she take’s dad’s side
NEEDS – to be understood
Ezri misreads his problem -makes it worse
Ezri in a bad mood too
Ezri is annoying
His story turned around – he’s the bad guy
VALUES – Honesty, Trust
Catches Ezri in a lie
Henry’s caught in a lie
Henry reveals a big secret
Ezri reveals a big secret
Henry and Ezri form a pack
WOUND – Dad doesn’t believe in him
Upsetting text message received
Ezri agrees with Henry’s dad
Reminded of past failures/misgivings
Henry fails at an easy task/game
PHYSICAL – Eating junk food at a mall food court
Choke on food
Turn tongue a funny color
Food makes him belch- uncontrolled
Throw up
Food Allergy
Spill something, wrong order
How’d I write the scene with new challenges as …
Henry’s, dejected, is sitting alone in the food court. His table a buffet of comfort junk food. He scarfs down the food trying to overcome his pain. Sitting across is a mom with two annoying kids being critical of Henry’s behavior. Their food shaming only making things worse.
Ezri enters and sits. She’s her usual over the top, bubbly self. She doesn’t acknowledge Henry’s situational rather dives enthusiastically about her good fortune. She’s landed an instagram sponsor! She snuggles up to Henry for a selfie. Henry’s mouth overflowing with food, his expression sour. Henry’s protest she doesn’t dare post that. Ezri thinks it fun- and does. Ezri and Henry argue about why Ezra’s self -help video’s only shows how she care’s for herself, not others. She’s using Henry’s misfortune to boos followers – wrong! If she were a true friend she be concerned about Henry right now. The food court family phones chime – they check their feed. They’re followers! They comment on how much they love Ezri’s posts, they’re big fans. How about a selfie – which Ezri’s more than happy to accommodate, pissing Henry off.
Ezri lectures Henry on how his current problems are a teachable moment not a failure. She proclaims to understand Henry’s problems but insist only Henry can solve them implying he is to blame for them. Henry begins to belch, loudly, uncontrollably. The food is talking now. Henry gulps down a big soda, resulting in one humongous belch. Henry laughs it off. In between hotdog bites and guffaws Henry’s body stiffens. His face panicked. He motions he can’t breath. Ezri jumps to the rescue. Ezri applies the Heimlich maneuver. One…two… three thrust later, chunk of hotdog expelled, breath returns to Henry followed by a torrent of junk food vomit splattering over the annoying family and their table.
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KZ’S CHALLENGING SITUATIONS
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that if I can do this for my entire script, it will be much more engaging. Also, I keep confronting the fact that once I’ve imagined the story, it’s hard for me to change it. I’ll probably have to make multiple passes of the whole script to do reap the benefits of this exercise.
SCENE 1:
A. Current Scene Logline: The Detective and Michelle barge in on Oliver, then he has a birthday Zoom
B. Essence: Introduction to the murder mystery and Oliver’s circle of friends.
C. Brainstorm list:
Goal: Have a pleasant birthday, despite the pandemic
The police banging on his door makes him look dodgy
He’s found hiding under the costumes on his couch
The detective thinks he’s a suspectNeeds: To look good, to control his life
He has to wear his glasses to see up close
Michelle is overly familiar with his apartment
The detective barges in
The noisy neighbors deprive him of sleepValues: Love and insight
The detective wheedles out of him that he hasn’t heard from his mother on his birthday
He can’t answer questions about his pastWound: He takes up with men he doesn’t love so he won’t get hurt.
He gets a call from Bruce while he’s talking to the detective, the detective accepts the call
The detective talks to Bruce, Bruce flirts with him. The detective tells him to call back later.Physical:
He hides under the clothes on the couch.
Oliver closes the lid to the laptop when Indigo fights with the Detective
Michelle to Detective “You’re barking up the wrong tree”… Oliver to Michelle “So are you”D: Rewrite
The Detective interrupts the Birthday Zoom
The Detective notices Indigo smoking a joint on Zoom, establishing her as a stoner
The Detective’s entrance gives a compelling reason for the Birthday Zoom to end, which was awkward before.
Indigo ends the Zoom for the others, stays on as a witnessSCENE 2
A. Current logline:
Oliver meets Tony over the barrier on their balconies
B: Essence:
Oliver and Tony connect, but Tony warns him away
C. Brainstorm challenges
Goal: To meet the neighbors
He’s caught collecting one of the strips that Nolan discarded
Tony warns him away from being seen by Nolan
The interaction ends without exchanging namesNeeds: To find love
Tony is in a relationship with Nolan
Tony tells Nolan there’s an old lady next doorValues: Good neighborly relations
Nolan laughs about ‘the old lady next door’
Wound: He’s afraid of getting involved
Tony playing the guitar evokes tender feelings
Physical:
Oliver gives Tony (something), but he drops it and breaks it
Oliver sings along with Tony’s song, and is almost discovered by Nolan -
Judith’s Lesson 12 – Creating Challenging Situations
What I learned is just set the timer and do the brainstorming and quick worrying about the lesson.
SCENE 1 –
Current scene logline: Emily is having her first art show of her paintings which will really launch her success.
Scene essence: Emily wants to impress the patrons who showed up for her show.
Wound: Rachel always put her down as a kid, but Emily values family and will forgive her to have their family, mom, Rachel, Emily, and her husband together even though Rachel has rejected her letters asking her to reunite by returning the letters unopened.
Situations possible in this scene:
Rachel, her estranged sister of 10 years shows up at the entrance, uninvited and causes a raucous.
Emily is flabbergasted at Rachel’s arrival and her appearance dressed in casual clothes. She insists on being let in.
Emily tries to calm down her sister while the patrons watch the interchange.
Emily lets Rachel into the show and trips and falls when she returns.
Rachel tells her you always were clumsy.
Rachel makes negative comments about a painting.
Emily is happy at her sister’s return but is frustrated that Rachel chose Emily’s triumphant art show to make her appearance.
Summary: When I first wrote this scene, I didn’t have Rachel cause a raucous at the front door. She just came to the event and Emily after her initial shocked welcomed her with open arms. In this version, Emily is embarrassed in a very public forum and doesn’t fare well in her patrons’ eyes.
SCENE 2
Logline: Emily goes to confront her sister about their mother’s death and her supposedly being deceased also.
Essence: Rachel lays in waiting to kill Emily.
Emily misses her at her hotel to confront her but learns her sister has gone to where they visited often as kids.
Emily goes to where she thinks Rachel will be, but when she arrives she doesn’t find Rachel.
She goes to the campsite’s office, but the note on the door says closed for the season.
She decides to look around and finds one cabin open. When she enters she finds Rachel’s sweater.
She turns to leave, but a raging Rachel attacks her.
She falls to the ground.
Emily pleads for Rachel to stop and they can work this out, but Rachel hits her again. She screams. Rachel believes Emily to be dead.
Rachel races to the woods and disappears.
Emily lays bleeding but is found not dead when the campsite caretaker heard her screams and finds her.
He runs to get supplies and calls for an ambulance.
In this current version of the scene, Emily is hurt more than previous versions. She is taken to emergency ward and Rachel disappears once more with no clue to where she has gone.
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Lesson 12 Assignment, Creating Challenging Situations
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that there’s always more ways to add drama, tension, comedy, whatever, to a scene.
A: CURRENT SCENED LOGLINE:
Al returns from behind the German line, day after Christmas, back to the farmhouse.
B: ESSENCE:
Even when you do what you believe is right, there can still be doubt.
C: LIST OF POSSIBLE CHALLENGES:
Maybe Al is wounded and barely makes it back.
Al and Duff can argue.
Duff could mock Al for weakness.
Duff can accuse Al of failing to do his duty as a soldier.
Maybe Al tries to hide the fact that he spared a German’s life.
Maybe Al pretends he killed the German when he didn’t.
Maybe there’s a letter from Lois reminding him of his vow to avenge her brother by killing a German with a bayonet.
D: SUMMARY OF RE-WRITE
I believe I would have Al find the letter from Lois and also have Duff strongly imply that he failed to live up to his vows.
INT. MAIN ROOM OF AL’S FARMHOUSE, MID-DAY.
Al bursts through the door, breathing hard, and closes it behind him. He sets his Enfield in the corner and hangs his cap and jacket on the wall. He kindles a fire in the hearth, twists the cork from a bottle of wine, pours a glass, and sits in a comfy chair facing the fire.
DISSOLVE TO: SAME ROOM – DUSK.
Al is still in the chair. On the table beside him, a plate with a crust of bread, and a quarter-full wine glass. Johann’s button is in his hand. He holds it up to the light, then places it on the table beside Johann’s knife, and resumes watching the fire.
AL (V.O.)
A lot went through my mind that night. We’d been fighting the Germans for months over a little strip of land and getting nowhere, then comes Christmas and we’re out there shaking hands and getting on like old school chums, even though we knew we’d be fighting again in no time.
And the next day I make one wrong turn and don’t even know I’m a mile behind the German line til I nearly fall on a wounded man, an enemy. And I’m ashamed to admit my first thought was to run him through like was done to Jimmy. But I couldn’t.
The sound of vehicle stopping outside. Then a knock at the door.
AL (loudly)
It’s open.
The door opens and in steps Duff.
DUFF
Alfred lad! Saw the smoke from your chimney and thought I’d see if you was back.
AL
I am back, as you can see. Care to stay a while?
DUFF
Don’t mind if I do!
AL
Come in, then. Tea and biscuits on the table. Help yourself.
Duff looks around the room as he enters.
DUFF
Thank you kindly.
Time passes. It’s dark and the fire is embers.
AL
And that’s the whole story. I hardly believe it myself.
DUFF
I may not be the brightest — even if me mum does call me Sunny — but I’d almost say it was, to use your word, providential. ‘cept for one thing.
AL
What do you mean?
DUFF
Sure, you’re bicycling down a road, ignorant of the fact you’re heading straight for downtown Fritz-ville. Yer tire goes flat. You hear Fritz, “Ow, ‘elp me, I’m hurt”. ‘an you coulda finished him off with no one none the wiser, but you don’t, instead you helps him and right off run into three more Huns who mighta killed you, ‘cept you’re carrying one of theirs. Ol’ Scarface sends his boys off to fetch help, and then because you was nice to his friend he tells you hows to get back safe and sound. And here you sit. With souvenirs. But you do have to wonder.
AL
Wonder what?
DUFF
About your Hun.
AL
Oh, he’s mine now? What about him?
DUFF
Suppose he recovers?
AL
Suppose he does?
DUFF
Suppose he does and they send him back. To fight.
AL
Suppose he does and suppose they do?
DUFF
My point. He gets better, he goes and fights. Maybe he kills one of us, maybe a bunch. But who’d he kill if you just finished him where he was? What if that’s what you was supposed to do?
AL
Never considered that. Good job, Sunny.
DUFF
Jus’ saying it’s a possibility you ‘ave to consider. Specially after what you told God’n all.
He stands and brushes crumbs off his trousers.
DUFF
Well, I’m off then. Lovely chatting with you.
Duff leaves. The door closes. Al stares into the fire.
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Sandra’s Challenging Situations
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how to master the skill of creating interest, meaning, and entertainment in every scene by creating challenging situations to engage the audience.
SCENE 1
Current Scene Logline: Ben helps a group clean out brush to restore a bird sanctuary.
Essence: The more Ben tries to impress Samantha, the worse he looks.
Brainstorm List of Possible Challenges:
-Ben hands get cut and scratched.
– Ben hurts his back.
-Ben rips jeans.
-Ben slips, is covered in mud, and embarrassed.
-Ben is angry at someone on their cellphone and not helping.
-Ben gets into a fight with the person not working.
-Ben is afraid to talk.
Quick Summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge:
Ben has a crush on Samantha, and agreed to help her restore the bird sanctuary. While helping clear brush, Ben becomes increasingly angry at Richard who is not doing any of the physical labor and spends his time on his cellphone. Ben fumes inside and is afraid to talk. To make matters worse, Ben forgot to bring gloves, his hands are scratched and bloody, and his jeans are ripped. He slips and is covered in mud. He’s embarrassed when everyone laughs. He loses it and lashes out verbally and physically on Richard.
SCENE 2
Current Scene Logline: Samantha invites Ben into her house to meet her female macaw.
Essence: Ben is not sure if he is ready for a relationship.
Brainstorm List of Possible Challenges:
-Ben washes his face and hands in the bathroom and leaves a mess.
– Unexpectedly, the power goes out.
– Ben trips and knocks Samantha off her feet.
-Ben umps his shin on a piece of furniture.
– A rough looking guy with a machete stands in the kitchen with a growling dog.
Quick Summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge
Samantha invites Ben into her house to meet her female macaw. A serious storm with strong winds, heavy rain and lightning causes the power to go out. Ben trips trying to find the door and knocks Samantha off her feet. They get up and slowly creep towards the kitchen. On the way, Ben bumps his shin on a piece of furniture and begins swearing. In the kitchen they light a candle and notice a rough looking guy with a machete standing near the kitchen door with a German Shepherd dog. The dog growls. The tough guy tells them they aren’t going anywhere.
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Maureen’s Challenging Situations
What I’ve Learned that is improving my writing:
I know this is long, but I really want to share how awesome this experience was for me. The script I am working on is an Action script, so I had already designed it to be choc-a-bloc full of life threatening, sometimes over-the-top obstacles, impediments and complications that seriously challenged the protagonist. So it was very hard for me, at first, to go through and find scenes without challenges. Instead of doing this exercise with another script that may be easier to use, I decided to go deeper, and find challenges to the aspects of character defined in this Lesson (Goals/Needs/Values/Wound/Physical) that I had not yet used within the scenes, or where I needed to find ways.to better embody in the script.
I am working from a detailed treatment, turning it into a script. Scene A below is a scene that I was not at all confident about creating to script. I was completely avoiding it. That changed in doing the work of this Lesson 12 and also Lesson 11. I had already layered many of the critical elements into the treatment descriptively, but I still hadn’t resolved how to use them to give real life to the scene. That is sometimes a long struggle for me-which I had always kind of took for granted as just being part of the work. But when I focused on defining Characters Traits, Character Subtext and Challenging Situations, it was beyond amazing how it all suddenly sprung to life. All at once, I understood how these characters are talking and engaging with each other, and why. The inner lives of the characters are no longer descriptive states of being in my mind, they vibrate with life and are actively engaged with the world. I am in the middle of writing this scene, and now it’s a huge pleasure. I’m not struggling to figure out different points of view throughout the scene in order to get words on paper. Dialogue and active character responses are springing up fully formed from the traits, subtexts and challenging situations. This is truly, truly a game changer for me! Thank you!
Scene 1:
A. Current Scene Logline: After a near fatal disaster during the dive, Matt and Gordo take clients Dave and Abe to their favorite haunt for dinner and much needed drinks in order to escape their pent up stress.B. Essence: Matt needs to restabilize after his PTSD triggering actions to save Dave’s life.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges:
Hero-worship talk about his actions challenges his “forget the past’ GOAL, and his NEED to escape from the day, making him drink more ( PHYSICAL CHALLENGE); His VALUE of Disentanglement is challenged by his budding connection to Dave and Abe. His greater VALUES are challenged when they ask him to help them smuggle pot. His WOUND of managed PTSD continues to be challenged by Dave and Abe’s recounting of Matt’s life saving actions in the previous scene; his WOUND of his son’s death is challenged by the Filipino beggar kids who hang around the restaurant and play soccer outside. And yet Matt seeks out the kids’ company because Matt has learned to transform his pain through connection with them- especially one boy, Biyani. The boys help him find hope. Matt is PHYSICALLY challenged when he plays soccer against these kids with their boundless energy. I am using all these challenges in the scene.
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.
I am using the Challenges here to plumb aspects of the character and situation that I had not thought to challenge in this scene previously (GOAL-forget the past, VALUE- distanglement, WOUND- Brothers recounting PTSD triggering heroic story, PHYSICAL- out of shape-playing soccer with boys) as well as to add focus to the challenges that I already have in the scene (NEED- escape, VALUE- Not Smuggle Pot, PHYSICAL- drinking, WOUND – son’s death, relationship with Biyani),
Scene 2:
A. Current Scene Logline: After hours of relentless pursuit by both Filipino police and mystery operatives trying to kill him, fugitive Matt swims out of the water miles upriver from his previous escape, and seeks desperately needed sleep in a children’s playground.
B. Essence: There is no real rest for Matt. He is being pursued by demons from without and within.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
— PHYSICAL Challenge: Matt who has been abusing his body with alcohol and lack of exercise, is exhausted to the point of near-drowning, but he has to wait in the water until the families leave the playground. Once that happens he has to drag himself to shore and safety.
— GOAL and NEED Challenges:
– Someone sees him in the water, challenging his GOAL of escape and his NEED to stay alive.
– Someone catches a glimpse of Matt in the water, and he has to submerge.
– A Policeman spots Man coming out of the water and gives chase.
– A Search Heliocopter spots Matt in the water and calls it in, creating a massive convergence of forces on the scene
– Terrorist infiltrators in the police send their assasins to get Matt before the police get there.
I am combining and using the first 3 of the above challenges. The first 3 are already used in previoous scenes and don’t fit this scenes role in the script. The ‘Out of Shape’ challenge will continue to be a Challenge for Matt going forward, and will benefit from layering in this scene
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.
I am going to open the scene with Matt peeking through the reeds and other foliage, massively exhausted and struggling to stay afloat but close to slipping under water. Someone sees him, and he has to submerge. Will he come up? When he comes out of the water after the park is clear, his exhaustion and the lack of the physical conditioning he needs to survive needs to be palpable.
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Paul’s Challenging Situations.
6. What I learned that is improving my writing is that this assignment has sent me back to fundamentals, just as Assignment 11 did. It even forced me to ask myself, “Who is my Protagonist?” That’s a very basic question, but the way my script is currently written, it is not clear which character is the main Protagonist. Thanks to this assignment and the previous one, I now have a far more dramatic antagonist as well.
4.
Scene 1:
A. Current logline: The press corps wants to know more about the president’s adoption plans.
B. Essence: Doubts are raised as to whether the adoption plan is a good idea.
C. Possible challenges: Have more aggressive journalist questions / the President, not his Press Secretary, faces the journalists / a critical news commentator tears the plan apart on live TV.
D. The rewrite: I will remove the Press Secretary and put the president directly up against the journalists, perhaps on the North Lawn. I will also introduce the V-P leaking the adoption plan to the Press, so the president is taken unawares when the questions start flying. (This builds on how Assignment 11 helped make the V-P a more dramatic character.)
Scene 2: (This does not concern the main protagonist, but another important character.)
A. Current logline: The Uyghur family crosses into the US illegally with the help of two coyotes.
B. Essence: Dilbara is not happy about entering a country she hates.
C. Possible challenges: Argument with her husband Hamza / Refusal to get out of the truck and cross into the US / constant nagging of Hamza to wear him down.
D. The rewrite: Instead of just showing the family getting out of the truck and crossing into the US, the re-written scene will highlight the split within the family that will continue to play out later in the script. Hamza sees his plans almost fail before they have even started.
END
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Amechi’s Challenging Situations
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that challenging my characters will keep my readers engaged in my script.Scene 1:
A. Current Scene Logline: Billie gets a C on her paper for the first time and argues with the new teacher about it.
B. Essence: Billie thinks she’s exceptional, but the teacher humbles her.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
Teacher makes an example of her in front of the class.
The teacher challenges her intelligence.
Billie makes a mistake, on top of being wrong.
All eyes are on Billie.
She has to go to the bathroom, but is running out of time on the test.
Her stomach rumbles as she starts pleading her case.D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.
The kids get their tests back.
Billie double takes at her C.
Billie quietly goes up to the teacher, who is praising the other students.
Billie is going to run out of time if she doesn’t speak up now and interrupts.
Billie’s answer was wrong and she missed it.
She compounds the error in front of the class.
They laugh at her and the teacher tells them to be nice. This makes it worse.
The bell rings.
The teacher tells her that she can’t always be right.
Billie has a new enemy.Scene 2: Trevor confronts Jennifer about changing the teacher’s schedules.
A. Current Scene Logline: Trevor confronts Jennifer at lunch to demand she give up some of her activities that have ruined his work schedule.
B. Essence: Trevor doesn’t want to put any effort into his job.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
He wants to make his point and leave.
He thinks their job doesn’t make a difference.
His injury flares up again.
He tries to get other people on his side to go against Jennifer.D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge.
Trevor doesn’t like the activity the teachers are doing for exercise.
Jennifer tells him it’s because he can’t do it.
Trevor says that’s nonsense and tries to show off. He ends up hurting himself.
He tries to get people on his side by saying Jennifer is destructive. But everyone is feeling good and happy with the changes.
Trevor is alone.
Jennifer gives him a bag of ice and tells him that maybe this job isn’t for him.
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