Day 12 Assignment

[Daniel Melin]

Daniel Melin’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s good to stick to the assignment at hand, even though ideas for other directions that the story is going to take are constantly emerging. I’ve also learned the value of taking a break, working on the assignment a little bit at a time, and then letting my mind process things for a little while before coming back to it.

Teaser:

EXT. Forest—Night: Intriguing World

Levi, Titania and her huntswoman are all on horseback, following a pack of three wolves, who are in turn chasing a deer with a large rack of antlers through the forest. The deer eventually disappears into a particularly dark and dense section of the forest, and the wolves lose the scent. Titania is enraged that they’ve lost their quarry, but Levi seems bored. He says that they’ve never had a chance of catching the deer anyway, and he begins to turn back the way they’ve come.

· Open Loop: Will they ever catch the deer?

· Mystery: Why is the deer so important to Titania?

· Empathy/Distress: Titania is clearly frustrated at the loss of the deer.

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is clearly disillusioned by the whole exercise.

· Irony: Levi is in his dream world, but the dream is starting to lose its allure.

· Setup: The deer is actually Oberon, Titania’s husband, and he is about to escape in a more drastic way.

· Setup: Levi is disillusioned with Everlasting Summer because there is no risk. Nothing is ever lost, but nothing is ever gained either.

INT. Castle Hall—Night: Secret

Levi, Titania and the huntswoman all return to a magnificent castle, where music is playing and dancers fill the hall. Levi moves right past the dancers, however, and stares listlessly out the window at the forest.

Titania walks over and tries to convince Levi to rejoin the dance, but Levi wants to know why he can’t perform magic except in Everlasting Summer. Titania says that it’s dangerous out there, and that performing magic could attract unwanted attention to Everlasting Summer. Titania then says she will find Puck to cheer Levi up.

· Open Loop: Will Levi continue to abide by the rule of no magic outside of Everlasting Summer?

· Mystery: What is the nature of the danger that could be posed to Everlasting Summer?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is discontent with the rules he has to follow.

· Payoff: We understand now why Levi was so listless in the previous scene.

· Irony: Levi has access to powerful magic, but he can’t exercise it.

· Setup: Levi will eventually break this rule and bring about the danger that Titania warns him about.

· Setup: The character of Puck is mentioned, who will play an important role in the story going forward.

INT. Castle Hall—Night: Mystery

Titania leaves Levi at the window and goes over to the huntswoman who is conferring with two guards. Titania asks the huntswoman where Puck is. The huntswoman says that Puck is currently missing. Titania is clearly perturbed, though she says that she’s sure he’s just playing a prank. The huntswoman says that the guards tell her there has been no sign of Puck all night. Titania hands the huntswoman a key, and tells her to check the dungeons. He isn’t supposed to be down there, but maybe he found a way to sneak in. The huntswoman then takes the guards with her and leaves the hall to look for Puck.

· Open Loop: What will Puck’s absence mean for Titania later?

· Mystery: What is Puck up to?

· Empathy/Distress: Titania is worried that Puck is up to no good.

· Payoff: We learn why Puck is missing in the previous scene.

· Irony: There is a real disturbance in this paradise.

· Setup: Puck will later help Oberon in his attempts to recover his staff.

INT. Castle Hall—Night: Intriguing World

Titania returns to Levi, who is still sitting, dejected by the window. Titania says that Puck can’t be found anywhere. Levi says that that is very unusual, but Titania distracts him from asking any more questions by grabbing one of the female dancers, and sending Levi with her out onto the dance floor. Levi reluctantly joins the dance.

Levi dutifully dances for a while as the music grows louder. Levi tries to excuse himself to sit back down but the music drowns out his attempts to do so. Finally, an alarm breaks through the music, and Levi wakes up in his Minneapolis apartment.

· Open Loop:

· Mystery: How did Levi come to live in the dreamworld of Everlasting Summer?

· Empathy/Distress: We see that Levi is unhappy in the dance and wants to leave.

· Empathy/Distress: We see that Levi lives in a very drab apartment.

· Payoff: We learn that outside Everlasting Summer actually means the normal everyday world.

· Irony: Levi wants to go back to the real world, even though it is very drab by comparison.

· Setup: Levi is splitting his time between two worlds.

Act 1:

EXT. Suburban House—Day: Secret

Levi drives up to a suburban house with a truck and trailer parked on the street out front. Miguel steps out of the truck as Levi starts walking towards the house. He tells Levi how glad he is that he finally agreed to quit his restaurant job and come work for him.

Miguel shows Levi into the house and introduces him to his other employee, Jorge. Miguel asks Levi if he’s painted professionally before and Levi says no. Miguel quickly shows Levi how he wants things done, and then tells him to ask Jorge any questions, while he steps outside on a phone call.

· Open Loop: Will Levi become proficient at his new job?

· Mystery: Why did Levi quit his old job?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is uncertain abut how he will do at this new job.

· Payoff:

· Irony:

· Setup: Levi will have to take on more responsibility at this new job.

INT. Suburban House—Day: Hidden Agenda

Levi starts cutting in the corners of the room where he and Jorge are painting. Levi starts trying to chat up Jorge and ask him questions about the other jobs they have lined up, but Jorge only gives monosyllabic answers in return.

· Open Loop:

· Mystery: Why is Jorge so recalcitrant about talking about future jobs?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is trying to get to know his coworker, who is reluctant to talk.

· Payoff:

· Irony:

· Setup: Jorge’s issues with Miguel will blow up in a later scene.

INT. Suburban House—Day: Hidden Layer

Miguel is outside, talking on the phone to one of his clients, who is giving him an excuse for why he can’t pay his rent. Jorge comes up to him and asks him if he’s had a chance to think about his offer. Miguel holds off and finishes his call, before turning to Jorge and telling him that while Jorge has improved a lot and has taken on a lot of responsibility, he still can’t justify making him a partner. Jorge says that he does almost as much work if not more than Miguel, and storms off the site.

· Open Loop: How will Jorge react later because he hasn’t been made a partner?

· Mystery: How long have Miguel and Jorge been fighting like this?

· Empathy/Distress: Miguel is dealing with stress on multiple fronts: his tenants and his discontented employee.

· Payoff: We find out why Jorge was so surly in the previous scene.

· Irony:

· Setup: Jorge’s discontentment will blow over later.

INT. Kitchen Table—Night: Wound

Levi is at his parents’ house for Sunday dinner. Levi, his parents, Nathaniel and Catherine, and his sisters, Cathy and Lily. Everyone is quietly enjoying dinner until Catherine brings up that they haven’t visited Talia in a while. Levi stays conspicuously silent. Catherin continues to prod and says that she and Nathaniel are going this week if Levi would have the time to join them. Levi says that he’ll think about it, but he’s pretty busy with his new job and may not be able to make it.

· Open Loop: How will Levi deal with the tension in his family?

· Mystery: Why doesn’t Levi want to visit Talia?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is clearly upset by the mention of his sister.

· Payoff:

· Irony: Levi has an ostensibly happy family, but with one noticeable exception.

· Setup: Levi’s sister will play an important role later in the story.

EXT. Suburban House—Day: Hidden Layer

Levi shows up to work the next day, but notices that Jorge’s car isn’t there. Levi goes up to Miguel, who tells him that Jorge quit. The two of them go into the house, and then Miguel tells him how sloppy his work from the previous day is. He tells Levi that he will need to go over it again, and make sure to be more careful this time. He then asks Levi if he will be okay staying a little bit later, since it’s just the two of them. Levi acquiesces.

· Open Loop: Will Levi bear up under the new responsibility at work?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is having to take on more responsibility than he anticipated.

· Payoff: We see the consequences of Miguel and Jorge’s fight from the previous day.

· Irony:

· Setup: Levi’s responsibilities at work will clash with his attempts to master magic and catch the deer that escapes.

Act 2:

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night: Secret Identity

Miguel and Levi step into Clarence’s Cigar Lounge and take a seat in one of the corners. Levi has brought his book bag into the shop with them, and Miguel notices a book on magic inside when Levi takes out his laptop to make a few notes about their work schedule next week. Miguel takes out the book and begins to tease Levi for having such a silly hobby.

Levi is clearly embarrassed and says that magic isn’t silly. Miguel goads Levi to prove to him that magic even exists. Levi hesitates for a second, and then looks around the room. When he is sure no one is looking, he makes a motion towards a small painting of a deer on the wall beside them, and says a few words, which cause the deer to start moving on the canvas. Levi then says another few words, and the deer seems to resist, but eventually, he settles back into his old position on the canvas. Miguel is clearly impressed, but then says that still asks Levi what practical use magic could have. Levi doesn’t have an answer.

· Open Loop: Will Levi actually master magic beyond mere illusions?

· Open Loop: Will Miguel’s knowledge of Levi’s magic endanger Everlasting Summer?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is embarrassed by Miguel’s disparagements.

· Payoff: We get to see Levi deliberately disobey Titania’s rule from earlier.

· Irony: Levi can perform magic, but it seems only to create an illusion. The illusion will later become all too real.

· Setup: Levi’s act of magic is what will release Oberon from his prison.

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night: Imminent Threat

Later that night, a cop in Athens gets a call saying that there is a disturbance at Clarence’s. He drives over and hears crashing inside. He calls out for whoever’s inside to come out, but the crashing continues. He opens the door, and a deer rushes out from a back corner. The cop dodges out of the way, just as the deer crashes through one of the glass windows. What looks like a wild dog starts chasing after the deer, but then notices the cop. The dog snarls at the cop, and the cop raises his gun. When the dog attacks him, the cop shoots. The dog yelps, but apparently isn’t killed, and runs off.

· Open Loop: What will happen now that the deer and one of the wolves have escaped?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: We see the cop dealing with unpredictable wild animals, one of which attacks him directly.

· Payoff: We see the results of Levi’s spell from earlier.

· Irony:

· Setup: Now Levi will have to catch the deer and the wolf that have escaped from Everlasting Summer.

INT. Mental Hospital—Day: Mystery

Nathaniel and Catherine show up at a mental hospital where a nurse shows them into the visiting room. Catherine asks how Talia has been doing, and the nurse says that she claims to have seen something the previous night, and that the doctors are thinking of adjusting her medications again.

Nathaniel and Catherine go over to a table where a young woman is sitting. The nurse tells Talia that her parents are here to see her. Talia groggily says hello and hugs her parents. Nathaniel and Catherine ask her how she is, and she says that she has been doing fine, but that she saw a strange man, completely naked outside on the grounds. Catherine and Nathaniel look uncomfortably at one another, but then go along with the story.

· Open Loop: Will Talia recover?

· Mystery: What caused Talia’s mental illness?

· Mystery: Who is the man that Talia saw? Is he actually real?

· Empathy/Distress: We see Nathaniel and Catherine trying to figure out what’s best for their mentally ill daughter.

· Payoff: We find out part of the reason why Levi was so reluctant to visit Talia earlier.

· Irony: The man that Talia saw is real, but no one believes her.

· Setup: Talia will eventually become a pawn in Oberon and Titania’s fight.

EXT. Forest—Night: Mystery

Levi is making his way through the forest, this time on foot and by himself. It is a darker part of the forest from the one he was riding through in the first scene. He casts a spell that creates a little orb of light in his hand, but the light seems to struggle, and Levi looks confusedly at the light, but eventually it manages to form itself more fully, but Levi still struggles to see the path in front of him as he makes his way through the trees.

Levi hears footsteps and sees a figure disappear behind one of the trees. Levi begins to run, but the figure soon starts to run alongside him. Levi keeps going, and eventually he reaches the tree line, where Titania and the huntswoman are waiting. Levi tells him that he was being followed, but when the three of them investigate the forest, they can’t find anyone.

· Open Loop: Will Levi uncover the identity of the person who was chasing him?

· Mystery: Who is the mysterious figure in the dark?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi struggles to escape the figure who is stalking him.

· Payoff:

· Irony: The figure chasing him is actually going to become his teacher.

· Setup: The figure chasing Levi was actually Mark.

EXT. Castle Grounds—Night: Hidden Layer

Titania brings Levi back to the castle of Everlasting Summer and immediately accuses him of disobeying her and performing magic outside of Everlasting Summer. Levi says that he only performed a simple illusion, but Titania says that he has put Everlasting Summer in danger and points to the sky. The moon, which is normally full every night in Everlasting Summer, has now started to wane. Titania tells Levi that he has opened a portal, which has caused Everlasting Summer to lose some of its magic, along with one of the wolves and the deer that they have been chasing, and that if he wants things to go back to the way they were, he will have to do something to close it.

· Open Loop: Will Levi successfully close the portal he opened?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is now being chastised for the act of magic he performed.

· Payoff: We now see a small piece of the danger Titania warned about.

· Irony:

· Setup: This small change in Everlasting Summer will continue until it disappears.

Act 3:

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day: Hidden Layer

Levi goes to Clarence’s with his bag, and a book that he plans to use for looking up spells when he sees the window boarded over, and a sign saying that the shop is temporarily closed. A strange man walks up and asks Levi if he heard about what happened. Levi says that he hasn’t heard and the stranger tells him about the events from the previous night. The stranger introduces himself as Mark, and looks at Levi’s book, asking him about it. Levi hides the book under his arm, and says he has to be going, and awkwardly walks away.

· Open Loop:

· Mystery: Who is the mysterious stranger who comes up to Levi?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi learns that the portal he opened has now damaged his favorite place to spend time.

· Payoff: We see how Levi’s actions have now affected not just Everlasting Summer, but his hometown as well.

· Irony: The man that tells Levi about the events is actually his future teacher.

· Setup: The stranger is Mark, who Levi will get to know later.

INT. Tower—Night: Conspiracy

Titania and her huntswoman are in a tower in Everlasting Summer, watching the moon that has continued to wane. The huntswoman asks Titania if she trusts Levi, and Titania says that she can’t be sure. She tells the huntswoman that they have no choice but to start going into Athens. Titania tells the huntswoman that she will now have to start accompanying Levi on monthly hunts when the moon is full and their magic is at its strongest.

· Open Loop: Will Levi stay loyal to Titania?

· Open Loop: Will Titania make Everlasting Summer the way it was?

· Open Loop: Will Levi and the huntswoman catch the deer?

· Mystery: What do Titania and the huntswoman not want Levi to discover?

· Empathy/Distress: Titania’s paradise is under threat.

· Payoff:

· Irony:

· Setup: The hunts that Levi and the huntswoman will go on in Athens are going to get more and more disastrous.

EXT. Castle Garden—Night: Hidden Layer

There is a knock on the door to the tower, and when the huntswoman opens it, Levi is on the other side. He tells Titania that the portal that he opened is in the shop, which is now closed, and he can’t get to it. Levi tells Titania that he will need her permission to use magic in Athens again. Titania agrees but that he will have to take the huntswoman along with him to make sure no complications arise. Levi agrees and assures Titania that he knows how to get in without them being seen.

· Open Loop: Will Levi get into Clarence’s to close the portal?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is now having to fix a horrible situation he created.

· Payoff: Levi is now informed of the supervision he will have to tolerate that was brought up in the previous scene.

· Irony: The person who told Levi not to use magic outside of Everlasting Summer, will now have to tolerate more of the same if the problem is going to be fixed.

· Setup: Levi is now going to have to keep performing magic in Everlasting Summer with the huntswoman’s supervision.

EXT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Night: Mystery

Levi and the huntswoman are standing on the street outside of Clarence’s. Levi takes a scoop of sand from a bag and blows on it as he says some magic words. The sand sparks briefly and then scatters all over the street. Levi and the huntswoman then go across the street, and Levi carves a doorway with chalk in the boards over the window. The two of them step inside, and go to the back corner where the painting is supposed to be. When they get there, Levi sees a completely different painting of a jazz ensemble on a stage. The huntswoman asks him what is wrong, and Levi says that someone must have taken the painting.

· Open Loop:

· Mystery: Who has taken the painting that Levi enchanted?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi has to make his way unnoticed into Clarence’s.

· Payoff: We see Levi perform more magic in Athens.

· Irony: Levi gets to perform magic, but only under close supervision.

· Setup: The person who stole the painting is going to become Levi’s new mentor.

INT. Levi’s Apartment—Night: Secret Identity

Levi is sitting in his apartment when he hears a knock on the door. When he opens it, he sees the strange man from the previous day, who introduced himself as Mark. In front of Mark on the floor is a rectangular object with a sheet over it. Mark asks to come inside, and then shows Levi that he has the painting from the shop, but there is no longer a deer inside of it. Mark explains that he too is a magician, and that he is in grave danger unless he lets him help him. Levi refuses and tries to take the painting back, but Mark causes the painting to disappear, and says that he is going to keep a hold of the painting.

· Open Loop: Will Levi recover the painting from Mark?

· Mystery: What is the grave danger that Levi is supposedly in?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi finds that the painting he needs to find is in someone else’s possession.

· Payoff: We find out where the missing painting went.

· Irony: The person who stole the painting was someone Levi already knew.

· Setup: Levi is eventually going to start studying magic with Mark.

Act 4:

INT. Bar—Night: Deception

The following night, Levi and Miguel are out at the bar having drinks, and Miguel starts asking him questions about the shop closing and whether his magic had anything to do with that. Levi confesses that he did. Miguel then tells Levi that he had better figure out a way to fix it, and to stay away from magic. When Miguel goes to the bathroom Levi takes a potion out of his pocket and slips it into Miguel’s drink.

· Open Loop: Will Miguel sabotage Levi’s attempts to catch the deer and redeem Everlasting Summer?

· Open Loop: What other acts will Levi be willing to do in order to protect Everlasting Summer?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is worried that Miguel will tell other people about his magic, and that they might find out about Everlasting Summer.

· Payoff: The danger that Titania warned Levi about is now apparently coming to pass.

· Irony: Levi’s magic is more than an illusion, but now it’s just dangerous rather than valuable.

· Setup: Miguel’s memory won’t stay wiped forever, and when it resurfaces, there will be a reckoning.

EXT. Suburban House—Day: Deception

The following morning, Levi shows up to work, and Miguel shows up looking not at all pleased. He says they have to talk about Levi’s painting. Levi nervously follows him into the house, and is somewhat relieved when Miguel angrily points out that the wall that he painted is still not up to the standards that he expects and tells Levi that he will have to repaint it AGAIN.

· Open Loop: Will Miguel’s memories stay buried?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is struggling at work.

· Payoff: We see that Levi’s potion to wipe Miguel’s memory has worked.

· Irony: The one person that Levi wanted to impress with his magic, now knows nothing about it.

· Setup: Miguel’s memory won’t stay erased forever.

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day: Conspiracy

Levi is reading his book and taking notes in Clarence’s the following evening, when Mark shows up. Mark asks Levi if he has reconsidered his offer. Levi tells Mark that he needs his painting back. Mark then confesses to Levi that Titania is not what she seems. He then shows Levi a picture of a young man, and tells him that his son disappeared several years ago, and he believes that Titania enchanted him. He then offers to teach Levi magic.

· Open Loop: Will Levi decide to study magic with Mark?

· Open Loop? Who else will Titania enchant?

· Mystery: What is Titania up to?

· Mystery: Where is Mark’s son, now?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi’s loyalty to his teacher is tested.

· Payoff: We learn more specifically what Mark was talking about when he said that Titania was dangerous.

· Irony: Titania, who was supposed to be that protector of the weak, is actually a villain.

· Setup: Levi is now going to eventually learn more about the others that Titania has enchanted, and his connection to them.

Act 5:

INT. Levi’s Apartment—Night: Hidden Layer

Later that night, Levi comes home to his apartment to find the huntswoman already waiting for him. She tells him that they will have to hunt only by the full moon every night. Levi wants to know why this is. The huntswoman explains that the reason the moon was full every night in Everlasting Summer was to preserve its magic, which relies on the moon. In Athens, they will be at the mercy of its cycles. The huntswoman tells Levi to be ready at the next full moon.

· Open Loop: Will Levi get exposed while hunting in Athens?

· Open Loop: Will Levi and the huntsman catch the deer?

· Mystery:

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is now going to have to evade notice from the citizens of Athens while going out to hunt a deer every full moon.

· Payoff: We learn why the loss of a permanent full moon was so important for Titania.

· Irony: The loss of Everlasting Summer’s magic opens the door for greater magic in the world of Athens.

· Setup: The cycles of the moon are also what transforms the werewolves, which will be revealed later.

EXT. Clarence’s—Night: Secret

A month later, it is the full moon again, and Levi and the huntswoman open a portal from Everlasting Summer to Athens, and Levi hurriedly closes it behind them once the two of them, and the two remaining hunting wolves they have are on the other side. Once Levi casts his sleeping spell with the sand again, the party tracks the deer to the grounds of a mental institution. Levi looks up and sees Talia looking out of a window at him. He hurriedly casts his sleeping spell again, and Talia retreats from the window. Levi turns to the huntress and calls off the hunt for the night.

· Open Loop: Will Talia discover Levi’s secret?

· Open Loop: Will Levi reconcile with Talia?

· Mystery: What was the deer doing outside Talia’s mental hospital?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi is dismayed when he sees that the deer has led him to his sister’s mental hospital.

· Payoff:

· Irony: Levi’s pursuit of the deer, which was part of his way to avoid his family has led him to the family member he is most estranged from.

· Setup: Levi will eventually have to reconcile with his sister.

INT. Clarence’s Cigar Lounge—Day: Conspiracy

Levi is studying in Clarence’s. Mark walks in and Levi motions to him. Levi asks Mark how he knows so much about Titania. Mark says that ever since his son disappeared, he has learned everything he can about the fairy queen and has learned that she has enchanted many more people, and he will do anything he can to stop her. Levi says that he will work with Mark on the condition that he relinquish the painting and de-enchant it so the portal will close.

· Open Loop: Will Titania discover Levi’s betrayal?

· Mystery: How did Mark learn magic?

· Empathy/Distress: Levi questions his loyalty to his teacher.

· Payoff: The wavering that Levi struggled with previously is now somewhat resolved, and he decides to change his allegiance.

· Irony: The person Levi is hunting is now his teacher.

· Setup: Levi will eventually learn that Mark and the wolves are actually his ancestors.

[Sherri Coffee]

Sherri D. Coffee Module 3 Lesson 12 Intrigue

What I learned was to focus on each scene and ask the questions to uncover intrigue and build in other components.

TEASER

EXT. Brooklyn Train Station 1884 – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

Grace arrives by train and is escorted to her home in Brooklyn. She learns from her mother that her stepfather is dying. Fear grips them when his son arrives and confronts his father about the will.

Start: Grace returns by train to her home in Brooklyn. (MYSTERY WHY?)

Situation: Her stepfather is dying. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: How will Grace and her mother survive once her stepfather is gone? (SETUP)

Action: The son arrives to speak to the father and finds his will leaving most of the money to his stepmother Mary. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND OPEN LOOP)

Finish: He confronts his father. (SETUP)

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: SECRET, HIDDEN AGENDA, IMMINENT THREAT

The somber household receives a welcome guest. Mr. Daly is a theatre producer and has seen Grace act in the Boston Theatre Group. Grace and her mother try to keep the condition of her stepfather a secret but a visit from his son disrupts the plan. Loud voices are heard above the parlor as Mr. Daly extends an offer to join his theatre ensemble to Grace. The voices become louder. Her stepfather on opiates is loudly arguing with his son over his will. Grace’s mother breaks society rules and leaves her daughter. She walks into the room to see the son toss the will into the fire.

Situation: Grace receives Mr. Daly from Daly’s Theatre. (OPEN LOOP)

Challenging Situation: Grace does not want Mr. Daly to know how desperate she is to obtain a place in his theatre ensemble group. Her stepfather is on opiates and loudly yells from upstairs. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: Her stepfather is arguing with his son over his will. The son has found the will and is unhappy that his stepmother is getting any money! Her mother is by her side and tries to minimize the situation by continuing the polite conversation. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)

Action: Stepfather high on opiates yells for Mary to come quickly. She struggles to break society rules by leaving Grace alone with Mr. Daly. Grace wonders if she will get the invitation to join the theatre company. (MYSTERY)

Finish: When she enters the room, the son tosses the will into the fire. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

INT. Brooklyn Home – NIGHT: CONSPIRACY

Mary and Grace frantically search the house for another copy of the will. Her husband is high on opiates and of no help. They must find another copy before he dies. After an exhausting search lasting through the night, they return to Mr. Steele’s bedroom to find him dead.

Start: Mary and Grace search the house for another copy of the will. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP)

Challenging Situation: The former Brooklyn Politician is high on opiates and is delirious. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: Mary and Grace cannot find the will and run out of time. (PAYOFF)

Action: Mr. Steele slips into death, and they continue to search for the will. (PAYOFF)

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: DECEPTION AND CONSPIRACY

Mary and Grace have not found the will and the son is at the door. They do not want him to know he is dead. They finally must allow him in the room and acknowledge the death. The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature.

Start: Mary and Grace continue to search for the will. (SETUP)

Challenging Situation: The son is at the door, and they do not want him to know he is dead. (OPEN LOOP)

Conflict: The son arrives and wants to see his father. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Action: Mary and Grace must let him in the room and acknowledge his death. But they lie and say they found the will. (SETUP)

Finish: The son produces a 2-page handwritten will with his father’s signature and challenges them to produce the document. (OPEN LOOP)

INT. Brooklyn Home – DAY: WOUND AND MYSTERY

Mary ad Grace stare at the Auction sign in their home. They must leave. With meager resources to last until Grace starts on stage, they must find a place to live.

Start: Mary and Grace stand outside their former home and stare at the Auction sign in the window. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Challenging Situation: They must leave their home and belongings and move. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: They worry about resources and must get by until Grace starts with the Daly company in 6 weeks. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP, SETUP)

Action: They say goodbye and search for a new place to live in Manhattan. (SETUP)

Finish: They arrive at a very simple and small flat. (PAYOFF)

INT. Daly’s Theatre – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

Grace arrives on her first day of rehearsals with the Daly Company. She is shy and is immediately tested by Mr. Daly. He demands perfection, never sleeps, and works the ensemble long hours to prepare for opening night.

Start: Grace arrives for rehearsals. (OPEN LOOP)

Challenging Situation: She is new to the company. (OPEN LOOP)

Conflict: Mr. Daly is very demanding. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)

Action: She must rehearse in the morning, afternoon, and after the play closes for the night in preparation for opening night of the show. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND SETUP)

Finish: Opening night performance (SETUP)

INT. Daly’s Theatre – NIGHT: INTRIGUING WORLD

Patrons enter the theatre, and the play begins. In the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She covers the mistake by moving around the stage to each of the actors and is finally saved by the stage manager. But instead of the blunder being shunned, the mistake endears her to the audience, and they give her a standing ovation. But Mr. Daly thinks the cheers are for his star. When the audience screams her name, Grace has no choice but to go back to the stage. Half-dressed with shawl over her shoulder, she peeks from behind the curtain to bow to the standing audience applause. A bouquet of lilacs is thrown from the proscenium box and lands at her feet. She looks up and sees 2 men smiling.

Start: Patrons enter the theatre through the lobby and other select patrons enter in a private door to reach box seats. (MYSTERY, SETUP)

Challenging Situation: The play begins and in the middle of an act, Grace forgets her lines. She goes to each person and finally recovers. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: The curtain closes and instead of noting Grace’s forgetfulness, they praise her performance. The audience yells her name to return. She sits terrified in her dressing room looking at the list of Daly’s rules. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Action: The stage manager comes to get her, and she grabs a lace shawl over her shoulder. She peeks behind the stage curtain and curtseys to the applause. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Finish: A bouquet of lilacs lands at her feet thrown from the 2 men in the proscenium box.

INT. Theatre dressing room – NIGHT: HIDDEN AGENDA

Start: Mr. Daly arrives to greet Grace and her mother in her dressing room. (SETUP)

Challenging Situation: He has been made aware of her forgetting her lines. (PAYOFF)

Conflict: She has broken one of his rules that are posted on the dressing room wall. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Action: Mr. Daly fines her $10 for the week. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

INT. Psychic Office – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD

A psychic guides Grace back from her past life but she does not want to return. The psychic tries to coax her back and finally resorts to loud claps to hasten her return. Grace recognizes Sam.

Start: The psychic guides Grace back from her past life. (OPEN LOOP)

Challenging Situation: She does not want to return. (SETUP)

Conflict: The psychic gently reminds her of her life here and now. (MYSTERY)

Action: The psychic claps her hands and Grace awakes. (IRONY)

Finish: Grace wonders who threw her lilacs? (OPEN LOOP)

INT. Grace bedroom – NIGHT: SECRET

Grace gets dressed for formal fundraiser and tells Sam about the psychic visit. She wonders if he has forgotten their 5^th year anniversary. He is skeptical but secretly wonders if the psychic would help with his medical condition. He tries to hide the physical pain but Grace notices. He changes the topic by adding a diamond necklace to her neck to complete the dress.

Start: Grace gets dressed in formal attire and wonders if Sam has forgotten their anniversary as he asks about her day. (MYSTERY)

Challenging situation: Sam tries to hide his physical pain. Grace can see the disease has gotten worse. (SETUP)

Conflict: Sam does not believe in psychics; he is a medical doctor. He does not want to discuss his condition. (IRONY)

Action: Sam changes the conversation and produces a happy anniversary beautiful diamond necklace to complete her dress. (PAYOFF)

Finish: They arrive at the fundraiser just as a politician’s indictment comes across the phone. (MYSTERY AND OPEN LOOP)

INT. Fundraiser – NIGHT

Grace searches her phone for any updates on the indictment. The fundraiser is for the indicted politician and she must decide if she wants to leave the check. She pulls a political operative Wilson aside and asks for inside information. He only knows the rumors of a sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Someone comes and grabs Grace. Sam has fallen unconscious.

Start: Grace searches her phone for news on the indictment. (MYSTERY)

Challenging situation: the fundraiser is for the indicted politician. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Conflict: Should Grace leave the check? (SETUP AND EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Action: Grace sees Wilson and pulls him aside to question on the indictment. She decides to hold the check. Rumors of sex ring tied to wall street and offshore hidden assets. Lady comes and grabs Grace by the arm. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP, EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Finish: Sam has collapsed outside the ballroom. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS, OPEN LOOP)

INT. Hospital room – DAY: HIDDEN AGENDA, DECEPTION, SECRET IDENITITY, SUSPICION, WOUND

Sam is in a coma. His cancer has spread and his condition is grave. As Grace sits by his side hoping for a miracle, a man arrives. He is Sam’s estranged son and he intends to take over his father’s affairs. Grace meets Wilson and hires him to investigate. Carlton continues his plan to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life.

Start: Sam is in a coma. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS)

Challenging Situation: His condition is grave. (EMPATHY/DISTRESS AND MYSTERY)

Conflict: His estranged son Carlton arrives. Grace does not know him but recognizes him from a financial show. (MYSTERY, OPEN LOOP)

Action: Grace leaves and meets with Wilson. Asks him to investigate Carlton. (OPEN LOOP, MYSTERY)

Finish: Carlton intends to have Grace cut out of Sam’s life. (OPEN LOOP)

[Emmanuel Sullivan]

Emmanuel Sullivan’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is building in intrigue is key for a reader or producer to advance the page and for an audience to be engaged to come back and watch more.

[Barbara Gilmore]

I need a few more days to pull everything 10 through 12 together…but is getting there…

[Renee Brown]

Renee Brown’s Outline with Intrigue

What I learned doing this assignment is this a lot of the intrigue that are built into scenes can hit on a super subtle level to the viewer, but it is a cumulative effect that builds throughout the episode.

Teaser:

INT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL – CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT: Main intrigue: Deception

Open loop: Will Anauk’s sister be found out for uncloaking planet X?

Mystery: Why doesn’t she come forward when Dauntus blames Anauk?

Emp/Dist.: Anauk pays for his sister’s mistake with his wing.

Irony: Dauntus beats his son for setting up the situation he has been waiting for.

Set up: We will find out Dauntus’ plan.

Sister is having a tryst with the control room officer. He is showing off- uncloaking and cloaking satellites – messing with humans. She starts messing with the controls – reaches for one button- officer stops her. Tells her that’s the Planet X cloak. In their passions, she leans on control panel and unknowingly presses the Planet X cloak off. They fly to the room’s upper deck to get it on when Anauk comes in, sees Planet X uncloaked, flies to the panel and re-cloaks it. Dauntus storms in furious. Accuses Anauk of ruining everything. Beats Anauk badly. Breaks his wing. Sister watches horrified from the upper deck and prevents officer from interfering. Dauntus about to break his son’s other wing when he suddenly stops. Considers, drops Anauk and marches to the viewer. Studies Planet X. Declares its time. Leaves Anauk bleeding on the floor.

ACT 1:

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN – NIGHT: Main Intrigue: Secret

Open Loop: Will Tallas get caught forging the prophecy?

Mystery: How does Miriam know Tallas is lying?

Emp/Dist.: Tallas hates deceiving the little ones

Irony: Tallas is trying to do good, but has to lie to do it.

Setup: We are about to learn the high priest is in on the forgery.

Intro Tallas. Teaching young initiates. They start asking pointed questions about the “newly discovered” prophecy pages. Tallas is dodgy because he has faked these “newly discovered” pages. One little girl stands and says she believes Tallas is hiding something from them. Tallas discounts her – tells her that she needs some more work on her telepathic skills before she can read the likes of him. Only thing is…. she’s right on the money. Tallas is cavalier. Shuts down the lesson. All the initiates banter off. But Miriam (little girl) stands stoic. Watches Tallas march to his water gazing cave. The high priest follows Tallas in and turns at the entry—shoos Miriam off. She turns to go—reluctantly.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE: Main intrigue: Hidden Agenda

Open Loop: Will the priest and Tallas be exposed?

Mystery: Why is Tallas / Priest forging the prophecy?

Emp/Dist.: Tallas is shocked the priest would take it that far.

Irony: Tallas wants to hide away, but is pressured to be a public figure

Setup: We will find out that Tallas is a true prophet. (much further along in the series)

High priest follows Tallas in. Tallas says he hates lying to the little ones – it sets up confusion in their minds. Tallas retrieves scroll from a hidden place. Tallas and priest stand over table with forged scroll laid out. Tallas complains about petty things: out of ink, making them look old is hard, running out of new places to “find” them. Priest tries to read Tallas. Tallas, surprised blocks him. – not without my permission. Priest teases – tell Miriam that. Priest tells Tallas to write in a description of himself in this one. He’ll declare Tallas the modern Longhead profit and wise man – no more scrolls necessary. Tallas is stunned / conflicted / horrified. Priest challenges Tallas to become what his people need – start with a water gazing session. Priest leaves – Tells Tallas he will close the ouroboros stone – he will not be disturbed.

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN – ENTRY TO WATER GAZING CAVE: Main intrigue: Hidden Layer.

Open Loop: How will Miriam find out the truth?

Mystery: Why is the priest lying to the children?

Emp/Dist.: Miriam is lied to by someone she trusts.

Payoff: Miriam proves her truth telling talents with the priest.

Irony: Priest tells Miriam not to invade other’s minds after he just tried it with Tallas.

Setup: Miriam has become the watcher – she will ultimately become part of the ONE.

Priest enters to see the initiates gathered in a group. They all snap to when he comes out. Priest reminds them of their duties. Tells them Tallas is in isolation. The initiates leave the cavern in a high school like group. Glow globes trailing behind them. Miriam remains. Staring the priest down. Fearless. Priest kneels before her, teases her. Matter of fact like, Miriam tells Priest he is hiding something too. That it keeps them apart. Priest tells Miriam they all must have private worlds and developing these private worlds is the only way to come together as powerful individuals to form the united whole etc. Miriam in unaffected by his sermon. She turns and leaves.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE: Main intrigue: Wound

Open Loop: Will Tallas always be trapped in this deception?

Mystery: Why has Tallas been chosen to be the head prophet?

Emp/Dist.: Tallas is so lost, he throws his work into the fire

Irony: He hates the forgery but cannot bring himself to destroy it.

Setup: We will see Tallas become the prophet puppet master of the Longheads.

Tallas watches the ouroboros stone slam shut. Turns to his desk. Frustration builds for a beat then he grabs the prophecy, crumples it up and throws it into the fire. Then he rescues the paper and smooths it out…. whipping away the ash. Tells himself that it looks old now.

ACT 2:

INT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL – LAUNCH DECK – NIGHT: Main intrigue: Imminent Threat

Open Loop: Will Anauk escape?

Mystery: Why do the other fliers help him rather than stop him?

Emp/Dist.: His broken wing is heartbreaking to all.

Payoff: He is not his father’s yes man.

Irony: He is a Skyflier who can no longer fly.

Setup: Anauk’s courage and resiliency will help him rise to Skyflier overlord.

Anauk stumbles into the launch deck – in obvious pain – holding his broken wing strapped. The other Skyfliers tease him. He heads straight for his cruiser. Tries to tap his wrist control. Can’t manage and still hold his wing. Drops his wing, drags it behind him. The fellow fliers stop in their tracks. Dart horrified glances, then run to help him. They get him in the ship, one of them wants to come with. Anauk declines. Tells him go keep (sister) safe. Get her away from that idiot (com. Officer) then takes off.

EXT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL: Main intrigue: Imminent Threat

Open Loop: Will Anauk be able to get to Tallas?

Mystery: Why is Anauk trying to get to Tallas first?

Emp/Dist.: He can’t hail anyone because Dauntus killed his coms.

Payoff: He’s tenacious. He finds a work around.

Irony: Anauk has to go to Tallas’ sworn enemy to get to Tallas.

Setup: Tallas, Anauk and Saltar will become a team.

Anauk’s cruiser flies away.

INT. SKYFLIER CLOUD CITADEL – THRONE HALL

Dauntus is told Anauk has flown off. Dauntus orders Anauk to be shot down.

Sister pleads/ yells. Dauntus rolls his eyes at his daughter and issues an alt. order to kill Anauk’s communications.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

Anauk hails Tallas. An initiate comes online and tells Anauk that Tallas is in seclusion. Anauk insists. Anauk curses and hails Saltar, but before he can send the hail, his coms go down.

INT. TALLAS’ TEMPLE CAVERN

Initiate tells Anauk that the ouroboros stone has been sealed. It cannot be re-opened for 3 hours.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

Anauk curses and hails Saltar. But before he can send the hail, his coms go down.

He changes course and heads out to sea.

EXT. OCEAN – DAWN: Main intrigue: Secrets

Open Loop: Will Anauk gain access to Saltar’s palace?

Mystery: How many times has Anauk been here?

Emp/Dist.: Anauk can’t communicate with the palace, so the palaces raises shields.

Payoff: Anauk goes directly to Saltar’s chambers.

Irony: The palace is defending against someone who knows it’s most intimate spaces.

Setup: Anauk and Saltar’s bond goes beyond friendship.

Anauk’s cruiser skims the waves then dives deep.

INT. DEEP SEA – DEEPER PALACE – ESTABLISHING

As Anauk’s cruiser approaches, a shield raises around the palace.

INT. DEEPER PALACE – SALTAR’S CHAMBERS

Intro Saltar. She is informed Planet X has been uncloaked and Anauk is outside.

EXT. DEEP SEA

Anauk uses his cruiser to bump at Saltar’s chamber window.

INT. DEEPER PALACE – SALTAR’S CHAMBERS

Saltar signals him in – cool Deeper bio tech intro.

INT. SALTAR’S PRIVATE SEA BALCONY: Main intrigue: Hidden Layers

Open Loop: Will Saltar tell Anauk that the bio bandage indicated he has Deeper blood?

Mystery: how does Saltar know how to get to Tallas’ most secret cave?

Emp/Dist.: Anauk is in pain. He is at first afraid of the Bio tech.

Payoff: Anauk has friends in all the factions

Irony: The son of the biggest asshole is the friend to everyone.

Setup: The way Saltar’s bio-bandage reacts with Anauk tells her that Anauk has Deeper’s blood running in his veins.

Anauk collapses his ship into a palm sized puck – cool Skyflier tech intro. Anauk is in great pain.

Saltar sees he is injured. Puts bio bandage on. – cool deeper tech intro. The bandage reacts to Anauk as if his flesh is Deeper’s flesh. Saltar show surprise then hides it from Anauk. She realizes he does not know. They have an urgent conversation about Dauntus and reaching Tallas. Saltar says she can get to him. Everyone’s like… um? Really. Establish Tallas hates Saltar. Saltar knows a way, Anauk can’t go – the way is too narrow for him and his ship

EXT. DEEPER PALACE

Saltar swims out. Establishing shape shifting / camouflage capabilities – mermaid like.

Anauk makes his puck back into his cruiser and flies it through the bio shield – out into the ocean.

EXT. OCEAN – DAY

Anauk’s cruiser bursts out of the waves. He heads toward land.

At least he knows the way into Tallas’ underground world, if not his private gazing room.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE: Main intrigue:

Open Loop: Will Tallas and Saltar become allies?

Mystery: Why are Tallas and Saltar enemies?

Emp/Dist.: Tallas is being ambushed by a camouflaged Saltar right after being ambushed by Miriam and the priest.

Payoff: The fight turns hot.

Irony: The one they hate is the one they are attracted to.

Setup: These two are going to get it on at some point.

Tallas is in trance. Sees in water – humanity’s chaos and uncloaked Planet X.

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN

Anauk arrives, pucks his cruiser, and plants himself at the ouroboros stone.

INT. TALLAS’ WATER GAZING CAVE

Saltar arrives in cave via water. She stalls for a bit to get a meaningful look at Tallas. Camouflaged, she gazes into the water next to him. Tallas’ Vision is interrupted by images of the Starfinder ship being destroyed by Deepers long ago. Saltar can’t help herself – says it wasn’t the Deepers just at the moment Tallas eye searches for the presence he feels around him. Kung foo – ish fight! The fight turns hot. Establish attraction between these sworn enemies. Saltar ends fight by telling Tallas about Dauntus’ coup.

INT. LONGHEAD TEMPLE CAVERN

The ouroboros stone rolls back. Tallas, Saltar and Anauk together. The gathered initiates gape.

ACT 3:

INT. ELEVATOR CAVERN: Main intrigue: Intriguing World / Imminent Threat

Open Loop: Will Dauntus pull off his coup?

Mystery: What are the other 4 elevator buttons? / How many liaisons are there?

Emp/Dist.: Steelman doesn’t know what Planet X is.

Payoff: The alien team arrives in the elevator at his HQ

Irony: He has alliances with the very factions he is to manage.

Setup: This human / alien team will fight for peace.

Tallas, Saltar and Anauk load up in the elevator. There are 5 buttons. Tallas pushes the top one. The elevator, old school in appearances, shoots up at a phenomenal speed. Tallas and Saltar throw looks at each other. Anauk sees the exchange and raises his brow. Tallas flashes his eyes at Anauk. Anauk raise his hands in mock surrender.

INT. STEELMAN HQ – STEELMAN’S HOME (MODEST 1970’S RANCH) – BASEMENT

Basement is 5 times bigger than house above. Wall 30’ high with monitor like images. On the monitors – Humanity, Chaos, Planet X, a row of monitors with other alien Liaisons – yelling.

The XUS monitors are blank. Steelman and his partner watch.

A concealed door (elevator) opens. Tallas, Saltar and Anauk unload. Steelman turns the other alien liaison monitors off then points to Planet X and demands explanation. Exposition: They don’t know exactly. The Skyfliers cloaked it, but Planet X has its own com cloak too. Tallas can’t get through with his telepathy though he can feel a presence. The XUS wants it cloaked until they know what it is. They reveal Dauntus plan to Steelman. Just as Steelman starts to ask

Everything goes black. Only thing glowing is Anauk’s wrist band.

EXT. PARK – DAY

People. Cell phones going dark.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Family watching TV. The TV goes dark. The kid fiddles with the remote.

EXT. TIMES SQUARE

Everything goes dark.

INT. STEELMAN HQ

Dauntus’ face flashes on all the screens.

EXT. PARK – DAY

His face and voice on all the phones.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Dauntus addresses humanity

EXT. TIMES SQUARE

Dauntus declares world domination.

ACT 4:

INT. STEELMAN HQ: Main intrigue: Deception

Open Loop: Will the POTUS brief fool the president / Will they all make it into the Skyflier Citadel in Anauk’s cruiser? What happens if Saltar doesn’t get water on her skin.

Mystery: How long has Steelman’s group kept mainstream gov. in the dark? / How long has Steelman allied with Tallas, Saltar and Anauk?

Emp/Dist.: Saltar is trashing Anauk’s Cruiser with water puddles.

Payoff: They are united as a team

Irony: The normal looking ranch house is a deep underground secret ops HQ.

Setup: We are going to see how Dauntus reacts to his family and former team “turning” on him.

Steelman sends his man to Whitehouse with POTUS brief – a fabricated intel report / cover up designed to keep the president in the dark. Then Steelman leads Tallas, Saltar and Anauk up and out of his ranch house. He grabs bottles of water on the way and tosses them to Saltar. She dumps one over her head. Anauk retrieves his collapsed ship puck and maxes out his cruiser to fit them all. They are going to stop Dauntus.

INT. ANAUK’S CRUISER

They are all crammed in… heading to Dauntus’ citadel. Anauk glances at the puddle Saltar has made on the floor. Saltar shrugs. Opens another bottle and drizzles it over her head.

INT. SKYFLIER CITADEL – SKY DOCK CONTROL ROOM: Main intrigue: Hidden Layers

Open Loop: Will they all pay for Dauntus’ coup?

Mystery: How do Tallas, Steelman, Anauk, Saltar and Dauntus know each other?

Emp/Dist.: Dauntus is at a family intervention of sorts.

Payoff: Dauntus is subdued.

Irony: Dauntus’ way of dealing with his PTSD from being dominated is to try for world domination.

Setup: Dauntus is unstable. Anauk is next in line?

Anauk’s sister sees Anauk’s cruiser approaching. One of the officers make a comment on how big his cruiser is…sister covers by saying her brother probably wants to stretch his wings. She keeps the guards from sounding alarm, all the while suspecting Anauk has brought company. Sister helps them get to throne room.

INT. SKYFLIER THRONE ROOM

Steelman marches in with Tallas, Saltar, Anauk and Sister trailing. Throne room guards engage. Alien standoff. Right when it’s about to get messy, Steelman talks Dauntus down with recalling when they were friends. On the screen – a summons comes in from XUS- like parents to obstinate children.

ACT 5:

INT. DARK SIDE OF THE MOON – XUS FLOOR: Main intrigue: intriguing world

Open Loop: Will Steelman go to the dark side of the moon with T,S,A, and D?

Mystery: Who is “They”? How did the alien base on the dark side of the moon get there? Who is Spector?

Emp/Dist.: Dauntus is humiliated in front of his people and frenemies.

Payoff: Tallas emerges as the leader here.

Irony: Steelman is alienated from the factions he has strove to ally.

Setup: Tallas is going to disguise Steelman as a longhead.

The Skyflier delegate humiliates and shames Dauntus for his foolish actions.

Deeper and Longhead delegate joins in.

INT. SKYFLIER THRONE ROOM

This sets Dauntus off on a tirade about being in charge when “they come back”. Steelman threatens that if Dauntus does not stand down, he will cut off the gold supply to all Skyflier cities. Anauk reels. Dauntus settles. Steelman takes his weapon; the throne room guards stand down. Steelman gets Dauntus to turn world coms back on. XUS delegate tells Tallas, Saltar, Anauk and Dauntus to come to the dark side of the moon and appear before them and answer for this debacle and address Planet X. The XUS tells steelman he need not come – this is earth alien business. Tallas tells Steelman he IS coming with – but Steelman will have to be disguised. Humans are no longer welcome on the dark side of the moon. Tallas tells Steelman “She” is there. “She is waiting for him” Steelman asks: Spector?

[Barbara Gilmore]

What I learned is that I don’t have all the answers and rather than stay stuck this is what I have so far…beat sheet, outline needs a bit more work does the story flow? Not sure…but I do understand why we are doing this: it’s way is easier to move the scenes around when it’s just an outline versus a complete scene with dialogue.

I changed Act 1 to be Act 0 not sure if I’ll tell another way and so the old Act 2 is now Act 1..

Green Lake

A story: A Senior Detective solving cases.

B story: Relationships so Jess and Sheriff Moore; Jess and the Trafficking Network.

C story: Love story between Jess and Sarah, other family relationships.

Intriguing Concept:

After her ambitions are thwarted, Jess Pearson, a big city senior detective accepts a transfer to a remote jurisdiction. Within a day of her arrival, she’s sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in similar circumstances to that of her brother Adam’s disappearance five years before and in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation. Can Jess quickly solve both cases to become the Sheriff elect while bringing her brother home? And can she learn to live with the locals especially her one true love, Sarah Watson, architect and artist on a mission to green Green Lake.

Act 1:

Jess is presented as a Big City Detective who has recently been denied a promotion following the loss of a high profile case. Instead she’s offered a transfer to a remote jurisdiction and a demotion from Sergeant to Senior Detective. Within a day of her arrival, she’s sent to investigate the brutal murder of a married couple and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith, in the same small town, Green Lake, where her family used to summer vacation and where her brother, Adam disappeared five years ago.

Midpoint:

Jess believes that Sherriff Linda Moore botched the investigation of her brother’s disappearance and is determined to solve both cases with or without the Sheriff’s help.

As Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics are low. Jess starts searching the office and discovers Sheriff Moore’s little black book of actual crime statistics, now she suspects that the Sheriff is corrupt.

Lock In:

Against her better judgement, Jess uses her secret hacking skills that got her reassigned and demoted and soon uncovers a local Trafficking Network that may be connected to the recent murders and unsolved cases, including Adam’s. She goes along on a planned meet up to find out who is involved.

Inciting Incident:

At the meet up is Captain Anderson, Bill Smith (Luke’s father), Sarah Watson, and Sheriff Moore.

May or may not include this as Act 1 may begin from Act 2

Act 0:

Essence: Senior Detective Jess Pearson is in court to give evidence on a high-profile money laundering case when she becomes unstuck by one of the judge’s questions.

Turning Point: Jess is reassigned to another jurisdiction – because her illegal hacking skills (not yet revealed) cost the department a high-profile case.

Act 0:

o Main Mystery: Why did the city team lose their case?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Jess sent to another office and not fired; why is she being sent to this office?

o Turning Point: Jess’ Boss gives her a second chance go work with Captain Anderson he supports the County Sheriff’s office out at Green Lake.

o Forced Decision: Must do the thing they would never do. Jess is reassigned to another department one that is in the same jurisdiction where she used to summer vacation which means she has to confront her past.

o Main Open Loop: How will Jess react to being reassigned to Green Lake which is where she used to summer vacation and where her brother disappeared?

o Sub-Open Loops: How will Jess react to being demoted?

ACT 1:

Essence: Jess arrives at her new office and within a day is sent to Green Lake to investigate a double murder of Anna Cole and Steve Beresford, and the disappearance of Luke Smith.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics are low.

ACT 1:

o Main Mystery: A couple (Anna & Steve) are stabbed at a Trail Head Rest Stop and their friend, Luke Smith, disappears. Who killed them and why?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why did they stop when they were only ten minutes from home?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess solve the recent murder of the couple (Anna & Steve) and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith.

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Exposed: Something hidden about the character is uncovered, either good or bad. How does the character respond. Jess’ secret hacking skills (not widely known) derail her department’s high profile court case and they lose. Those skills are only known to some who will go on to exploit Jess who wants these skills to remain a secret for fear of losing her Detective’s badge.

ACT 2:

Essence: Jess reconnects with her ex-lover, love of her life, and best friend, Sarah Watson for support.

Turning Point: Sarah’s boyfriend, Nick Milford, who found the victims bodies, is now the department’s prime suspects.

ACT 2:

o Main Mystery: Is Nick their killer?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick at the Trail Head stop?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Emotional Dilemma: Must choose between two equally distressing choices. Sarah must choose between Jess and Nick.

o Betrayal: The violation of a trust, relationship, or contract that results in physical or psychological damage. Jess and Sarah share a secret about Sarah’s parents death. However, both are oblivious to the fact that someone else witnessed the event and has already blackmailed Sarah and will blackmail Jess. But each believes they must have been betrayed by the other.

o Hurt those they love: The only way to survive is to do damage to their loved ones. Jess left the love of her life, Sarah Watson, to escape a good relationship gone bad. Will she do the same thing again?

ACT 3:

Essence: Jess doesn’t believe that Nick is the killer.

Turning Point: Jess uses her hacking skills to delve into the lives of those involved in the unreported crimes in Sheriff Moore’s little black book.

ACT 3:

o Main Mystery: Is Nick the killer?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick following Steve, Luke, and Anna?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Must Make Decision with Future Consequences: Jess again uses her hacking skills to investigate Sheriff Moore and uncovers a wider network of illegal activity.

ACT 4:

Essence: Jess uncovers a Trafficking Network that may be connected to the recent murders and other unsolved cases, including that of her brother, Adam.

Lock In: She goes along on a planned meet up to find out who is involved: Sheriff Moore, Captain Anderson, Dave Smith (Luke’s father), and Sarah Watson.

ACT 4:

o Main Mystery: Who is involved in the trafficking Network?

o Sub-Mysteries: Is it really a Trafficking Network or something else?

o Main Open Loop: Will we find out whether Moore, Anderson, Smith, and Sarah Watson why they are meeting at the car park?

o Sub-Open Loops: Why is Sarah involved?

o Crucible: Trapped in a situation of severe test where great change takes place. Sheriff Moore and Jess are kidnapped by the Traffickers and only one of them gets to live.

Act 5:

TBD

TEASER

Essence of scenes 1 through 7 (the teaser) is to introduce the main mystery and the three characters murdered or disappeared.

1 EXT. REMOTE HIGHWAY – DUSK

CAPTION: Present Day

A dark-blue PICK-UP TRUCK travels along a remote single-lane highway bounded by dense forest.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation: character goal, need, value, want, wound, physical.

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core is to capture the world and introduce the truck belonging to 2 murder victims.

Open Loop: Will we find out who this truck is being driven by.

Mystery: Who is driving this truck.

Empathy/Distress: N/A.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Truck that belongs to the murdered couple.

2 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK

Two men (Steve Beresford and Luke Smith) and a woman (Anna Cole) travelling in a pickup truck. The male passenger in the front seat (Luke Smith) wants to pull over to go to the washroom. The male driver (Steve Beresford) protests. Luke grabs the wheel and pulls them onto a dirt track road. Steve and Luke almost fight. Female rear passenger (Anna Cole) calms things down.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start: Three friends driving in a pick up truck.

Challenging Situation: It’s dusk. It’s remote. Driver wants to get home.

Conflict: Driver doesn’t want to stop at the rest stop. Passenger does.

Action: Passenger and Driver argue.

Finish: Truck pulls over.

Intriguing Core is to introduce three characters who by the end of the teaser have been murdered or disappeared.

Open Loop: Will we find out the true nature of each relationship: Steve and Anna; Anna and Luke; Luke and Steve.

Mystery: Where have they driven from and where are they driving to.

Empathy/Distress: Luke needs to pee.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: ?

STEVE BERESFORD (34) is driving. LUKE SMITH (32) sits in the passenger seat. At first glance they seem like a married couple with their matching plaid shirts, hipster haircuts, and skinny jeans.

But Steve reaches behind and ANNA COLE (29), sitting in the back seat, punk goth, grabs his hand, caresses and kisses it, then lets it go.

Luke, jealous, throws Steve a look, Steve glances at Luke, purses his lips.

The pick-up’s headlights illuminate a ROAD SIGN “Bear Creek Rest Area and Trailhead 50m on the left”.

Luke leans over, grabs the wheel, and hangs a hard left. Steve hits the brakes as the pick-up leaves the highway and SKIDS along a single dirt track.

Steve angrily pushes Luke’s hand away from the steering wheel.

3 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – DIRT ROAD – DUSK

The pick-up kicks up dust as it bounces over the dirt track.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core is to show how dry the soil is, how remote, rough the terrain is.

Open Loop: Will we find out why the soil is so dry.

Mystery: N/A.

Empathy/Distress: N/A.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Why is the soil so dry? (Payoff we’ll find out that Green Lake is experiencing a drought).

4 INT. PICK-UP TRUCK – MOVING – DUSK

Nature protecting itself from humans. Anna protecting herself from nature.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Anna grabs on to an overhead handle as she peers out at the dense overhanging branches as they SCRATCH and SCRAPE at the pick-up’s doors and windows.

Intriguing Core is to show how easily humans and their cars invade nature and how nature protects itself.

Open Loop: Will we find out why the soil is so dry.

Mystery: N/A.

Empathy/Distress: Characters are driving to a remote washroom at dusk.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A

Setup: Will something bad happen to Luke, Steve, and Anna.

5 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK

Luke exits the truck. Walks into human garbage. Is angry. Humans have damaged nature. The local wildlife are watching him.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core is why the emergency to stop at this Trail Head washroom.

Open Loop: Why are the wildlife watching them?

Mystery: Will we find out why they stopped here?

Empathy/Distress: Sometimes you just gotta go.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Junk food has poisoned the birds and animal population, but is there more to it?

The pick-up SLIDES to a halt.

Luke gets out, SLAMS the door, and walks straight into a PILE of JUNKFOOD WRAPPERS and SODA CARTONS. He kicks at them. Some fly into the air.

He jogs to the OUTHOUSE.

A bird SCREETCHES from the forest.

Luke looks around and spots a BALD EAGLE perched at the very top of a tall Ponderosa Pine. The eagle SWOOPS DOWN and across the car park towards him.

Luke quickly opens the outhouse door and SLAMS it shut. The eagle pulls up and lands on a nearby tree, eyes fixated on the outhouse.

6 INT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – OUTHOUSE – DUSK

Luke enters the outhouse. He’s afraid. Has a phobia about the monster in the toilet. He paces, waits to take the plunge.

Luke enters the outhouse. He’s afraid. Has a phobia about the monster in the toilet.

Luke locks the door behind him. He tears off some toilet paper, and carefully wipes the toilet seat, lifts it up, wipes the rim, then drops the seat.

Perspiring heavily, he grabs more toilet paper and wipes his forehead. He stoops over in pain, nervously pulling on his nose, as he stares into the darkness of the chemical pit and listens (for the imaginary monster DOWN THERE).

Intriguing world:

Mystery: Is he sick or on drugs?

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core is why would they stop at this Trail Head washroom.

Open Loop: Will we find out why they stopped here?

Mystery: Is Luke sick or on drugs?

Empathy/Distress: Everyone fears the monster in the Outhouse toilet that comes out after sundown.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Junk food has poisoned the birds and animal population, but is there more to it?

Luke takes the plunge and sits on the toilet seat. Diarrhea SPLASHES and PLOPS into the bowels of the pit. His right hand shakes as he tears off another handful of toilet paper and wipes himself. Finished, he stands up.

He pushes the DISPENSER and rubs the liquid soap into his hands. He pulls out a RED HANDKERCHIEF and dries his hands.

7 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DUSK

Luke exits the outhouse. He’s happy. The birds block his path back to the truck. He hears their agitation then silence. He calls out to Steve and Anna. He soon sees that they’ve been attacked and are dead. A shadow of a figure flits behind him.

Luke exits the outhouse. He’s happy. The birds block his path back to the truck. He hears their agitation then silence. He calls out to Steve and Anna. He soon sees that they’ve been attacked and are dead. A shadow of a figure flits behind him.

IN THE BACKGROUND: Punk rock MUSIC from the pick-up.

The outhouse door opens and Luke exits. He pulls on a set of earbuds attached to the cellphone in his pocket and pushes up the VOLUME, mouths and head bangs on his way back to the pickup.

THREE RAVENS suddenly land in front of him, defiant, blocking his path. He STOPS, pulls off his headphones, and is met with the overwhelming sound of SHRILL birds.

He looks up at the surrounding trees: HUNDREDS of RAVENS have gathered, the BALD EAGLE hops to a closer vantage point, ready to swoop down.

He notices that all four doors of the pick-up are wide open and there’s a pool of blood on the ground next to the driver’s door. The MUSIC is still playing.

Luke, slowly spins around eyes searching the outhouse to the forest, and the outhouse to the car park, and back to the pick-up.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core why are the birds acting in a weird way; what’s happened to Steve and Anna?

Open Loop: Why are the birds acting like this?

Mystery: Who killed Anna and Steve? Who is the shadowy figure?

Empathy/Distress: Luke is afraid the birds will attack him; Luke comes across the murder scene: his friends are dead.

Payoff: N/A.

Irony (opposites present): N/A.

Setup: Crazy animal behaviour.

The MUSIC from the pickup STOPS.

THE RAVENS fall SILENT.

FOOTSTEPS near the pick-up.

Luke, listens, eyes searching the truck and the forest beyond.

THE RAVENS start CALLING again.

As Luke moves closer to the truck Steve comes into full view. He’s lying on his back across the driver’s seat, face up, head hanging off the edge, blood dripping from head and neck wounds forms a large pool of blood on the tarmac. His legs splayed across the passenger seat, his jeans ripped, legs cut and bleeding.

Luke, stunned, gets closer…

A SHADOW FLITS behind Luke.

ACT 1:

Essence: Jess arrives at her new office and within a day is sent to Green Lake to investigate a double murder of Anna Cole and Steve Beresford, and the disappearance of Luke Smith.

Turning Point/Midpoint: Jess reads file after file hidden away in the basement, she begins to realize that Green Lake is not the sleepy town she thought it was. Crime rates are high, yet the reported statistics are low.

ACT 1:

o Main Mystery: A couple (Anna & Steve) are stabbed at a Trail Head Rest Stop and their friend, Luke Smith, disappears. Who killed them and why?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why did they stop when they were only ten minutes from home?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess solve the recent murder of the couple (Anna & Steve) and the disappearance of their friend, Luke Smith.

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Exposed: Something hidden about the character is uncovered, either good or bad. How does the character respond. Jess’ secret hacking skills (not widely known) derail her department’s high profile court case and they lose. Those skills are only known to some who will go on to exploit Jess who wants these skills to remain a secret for fear of losing her Detective’s badge.

ACT 1

8 INT. BLACK SUV – DAY

A female detective (Senior Detective Jess Pearson) is driving and turns off the highway to the crime scene.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

9 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – ENTRANCE – DAY

Jess Pearson introduces herself to the Officer guarding the crime scene. Officer James warns her of the gruesome scene ahead. If Jess is fazed she hides it well until out of the Officer’s sight.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

10 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DAY

Jess exits her car and surveys the crime scene. The Sheriff (Sheriff Linda Moore) approaches and introduces herself. But they already know each other. Sheriff Moore asks Jess to keep an open mind and not conflate with her brother’s case.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

11 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – PARKING STALLS – DAY

Jess examines the crime scene in detail. Sheriff describes what they know so far about the victims, who is missing, and it was Nick Beresford who found the bodies. The Pathologist, Doctor Sally Williams, arrives. Sheriff mentions a similar case five years before involving Jess’ brother. They discuss the victims possible involvement with drug dealing. Sheriff asks Jess where she’s staying. Jess tells her that she’s staying at the Johnson Twins B&B. Isn’t that haunted: the Sheriff and Dr. Williams tease Jess.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

11 EXT. OUTHOUSE – DAY

Jess hangs back and takes another look around the crime scene.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

12 INT. OUTHOUSE – DAY

Jess inspects the Outhouse in more detail.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

13 EXT. OUTHOUSE – DAY

Jess exits the Outhouse.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

14 EXT. CAR PARK – DAY

Jess walks to the forest checking for more crime scene evidence.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

15 EXT. FOREST – DAY

Jess senses someone watching but there’s no-one there. She leaves the forested area.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

16 EXT. FORENSIC TENT – DAY

Jess asks the Forensic Team to collect samples from the Outhouse and the stream.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

ACT 2:

o Main Mystery: Is Nick their killer?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick at the Trail Head stop?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Emotional Dilemma: Must choose between two equally distressing choices. Sarah must choose between Jess and Nick.

o Betrayal: The violation of a trust, relationship, or contract that results in physical or psychological damage. Jess and Sarah share a secret about Sarah’s parents death. However, both are oblivious to the fact that someone else witnessed the event and has already blackmailed Sarah and will blackmail Jess. But each believes they must have been betrayed by the other.

o Hurt those they love: The only way to survive is to do damage to their loved ones. Jess left the love of her life, Sarah Watson, to escape a good relationship gone bad. Will she do the same thing again?

17 INT. BLACK SUV – DAY

Jess calls her boss, Captain Anderson, and leaves a voicemail update about the case. Jess offers to go with Sheriff Moore to inform Steve and Anna’s parents. Sheriff declines and instead asks her to meet her at Luke Smith’s parents house in one hour.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

18 INT. BLACK SUV – MOVING – DAY

Jess drives to meet Sheriff Moore at the Smith residence.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

19 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY

Sheriff gives Jess some background on Luke Smith. All positive.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

20 INT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY

Jess and Sheriff Moore inform the Smith’s about Luke’s disappearance. They also question them about when they last saw him, any enemies etc.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

21 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY

Dave Smith takes them to Luke’s apartment at the rear of the house.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

22 INT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY

Jess and Sheriff enter Luke’s apartment. It’s sparse, neat, tidy, and clean. They take Luke’s laptop.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

23 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – BASEMENT SUITE – DAY

Jess and Sheriff exit Luke’s apartment. Jess hands Dave her card. Asks him to call her if they hear from Luke or anyone else.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

24 EXT. SMITH RESIDENCE – DAY

Jess and Sheriff briefly discuss what they think has happened to Luke.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

25 INT. POLICE STATION – MAIN OFFICE – DAY

Jess and Sheriff return to the station where Officer James has already set up the case whiteboard with a timeline and the players.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

26 INT. POLICE STATION – INTERVIEW ROOM – DAY

Nick Milburn who discovered the bodies is interviewed by Jess and Sheriff Moore.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

ACT 3:

Essence: Jess doesn’t believe that Nick is the killer.

Turning Point: Jess uses her hacking skills to delve into the lives of those involved in the unreported crimes in Sheriff Moore’s little black book.

ACT 3:

o Main Mystery: Is Nick the killer?

o Sub-Mysteries: Why was Nick following Steve, Luke, and Anna?

o Main Open Loop: Will Jess and Sarah rekindle their affair?

o Sub-Open Loops: Will we find out why Jess who just arrived was sent to investigate this case.

o Must Make Decision with Future Consequences: Jess again uses her hacking skills to investigate Sheriff Moore and uncovers a wider network of illegal activity.

ACT 3

27 INT. POLICE STATION – MAIN OFFICE – DAY

Jess has reviewed the evidence and is not ruling Luke out from being involved.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

28 INT. BLACK SUV – MOVING – DAY

Jess pulls over when she sees a sign for Sarah’s Coffee Stop.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

29 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Jess exits her car and spots a notice board with a faded Missing Poster of her brother, Adam.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

30 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Jess enters the Café. Sarah is unexpectedly friendly. Sarah gets upset when Jess asks to borrow the poster of Adam.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

31 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – TOP SUITE – DAY

Jess has stepped out of the shower and is blow drying her hair. She sees a young man walking through her apartment. She tries to find him but he’s gone. She calls Sarah and tries to tell her a weird thing just happened. Sarah tease her about being sucked into one of the house’s portals.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

32 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – BOTTOM SUITE – DAY

Jess walks downstairs. She bumps into Peggy. She tells her that it was just Charles visiting.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

33 INT. MORTUARY – DAY

Dr. Williams on her cellphone flips through pages attached to a clipboard that sits on a trolley.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

34 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY

Dr. Williams is calling Jess about the autopsy results: left to die by a human but killed off by the birds and coyotes.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

35 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – DAY

Jess parks up. She joins the crowd here for the Art showing. Sarah tells Jess the whole town is talking about the murders.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

36 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Jess bumps into Peggy and Patsy. They ask about the murders and whether they are safe.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

ACT 4:

Essence: Jess uncovers a Trafficking Network that may be connected to the recent murders and other unsolved cases, including that of her brother, Adam.

Lock In: She goes along on a planned meet up to find out who is involved: Sheriff Moore, Captain Anderson, Dave Smith (Luke’s father), and Sarah Watson.

ACT 4:

o Main Mystery: Who is involved in the trafficking Network?

o Sub-Mysteries: Is it really a Trafficking Network or something else?

o Main Open Loop: Will we find out whether Moore, Anderson, Smith, and Sarah Watson why they are meeting at the car park?

o Sub-Open Loops: Why is Sarah involved?

o Crucible: Trapped in a situation of severe test where great change takes place. Sheriff Moore and Jess are kidnapped by the Traffickers and only one of them gets to live.

37 INT. LIBRARY – DAY 37

TBD

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

38 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – SUNRISE

Jess has reconvened more officers with the dogs to go over the crime scene again and expand the search area.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

39 EXT. BEAR CREEK REST AREA – CAR PARK – DAY

Jess and Sheriff leave the crime scene search early to attend a Town Hall news conference about the case.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

40 INT. TOWN HALL – DAY

Jess and Sheriff address the Town Hall crowd and the Press. They are joined by Dave and Jane Smith. They ask for the town’s help.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

41 INT. LIBRARY – DAY

TBD

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

42 EXT. GREEN LAKE – DAY

Jess takes some time out by going for a canoe ride on Green Lake. She revisits her old house. Gets caught up in a change of weather. We see a the same young man (Charles) sitting behind her in the canoe.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

43 EXT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – DOCK – DAY

Jess pulls up onto the dock of the house her parents used to own.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

44 EXT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY

Jess walks up the driveway of the house her parents used to own.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

45 EXT. YELLOW HOUSE – DAY

She knocks on the door of the house her parents used to own. No-one is home. She can see Patty and Peggy on the swing set. We see a man at the window. Jess walks back to the dock.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

46 EXT. GREEN LAKE – DAY

Jess paddles back across the lake to Peggy & Patty’s.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

47 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – TOP SUITE – NIGHT

Jess is woken by the noise of the swing set. She goes outside to the garden to investigate.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

48 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – NIGHT

Jess walks down to the lake to investigate. She sees Charles again. He’s coming right towards her. She gets ready to shoot him. But he’s gone. She calls Sarah, but it goes to voicemail. On her way back to the house a bear and her cubs block her path. Peggy and Patty appear to help her back to the house.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

49 INT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – BOTTOM SUITE – NIGHT

Patsy and Peggy make Jess a cup of tea.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

50 INT. THE YELLOW HOUSE – BASEMENT – DAY

Jess wakes up in the basement. She’s been kidnapped. Luke is in a cage across the room.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

ACT 5 TBD

51 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – DAY

Sarah jumps out of bed. Gets the coffee machine started. Listens to Jess’ voicemail and calls her back. Her call goes straight to Jess’ voicemail. A man knocks at the café door and asks if he could grab an early breakfast. Sarah recognizes Mick as a summer vacationer of Green Lake. She lets him in.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

52 INT. MICK’S WHITE TRUCK – DAY

Luke is bound and gagged in the back of a truck. He tries to attract the voices he can hear outside.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

53 EXT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAR PARK – DAY

Sheriff Moore and Officer James walk past the white van. Sheriff calls Jess but it goes straight to voicemail.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

54 INT. SARAH’S GARAGE AND CAFE – CAFE – DAY

Sheriff enters the café. Sarah is already prepping their breakfast order. Sarah tells Sheriff she’s been unable to reach Jess. Not like her. Sheriff agrees to drive to Peggy and Patty’s to check on her.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

55 EXT. PEGGY AND PATSY’S GUEST HOUSE – DRIVEWAY – DAY

Sheriff and Officer James arrive. Get a call that Luke’s body has been found. Jess’ car is missing.

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

56 INT. LOCAL POLICE STATION – DAY

TBD

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

57 EXT. THE HIGHWAY – DAY

TBD

Intriguing world:

Mystery:

Secret:

Deception:

Conspiracy:

Secret Identity:

Wound:

Hidden Agenda:

Hidden Layer:

Strange Behaviour:

Imminent Threat:

Suspicion:

Start:

Challenging Situation:

Conflict:

Action:

Finish:

Intriguing Core:

Open Loop:

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress:

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Barbara Gilmore.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  Barbara Gilmore.

[Molly Gagnon]

Complete Outline

Module 3 Lesson 12 Carrington Manor Molly McNeal

What I learned during this assignment is I was unsure of where my outline even is???? So I went off my beat sheet and empathy and distress and descriptions. I learned I was trying to do too much on the phone and that would not be very interesting for the watcher. So I changed it up and added Act 5.

Carrington Manor

Teaser:

INT. Gwenn’s mermaid bathroom day Intrigue

Description: Gwenn Brushing her hair pulling it up in a ponytail.

INT. Halls of Carrington Manor

Description: Black and white camera shot of uniformed feet running through narrow halls, Mystery

INT Gwenns Bathroom day Intrigue

Description: Gwenn brushing teeth

Gwenn brushing her teeth in tandem with the sound of beating feet connecting the two scenes.

INT Halls of Carrington Manor Floor: black and white cameras on police boots Mystery

Camera shoots back to seeing the feet of cops with guns pulled and some are kneeling. Words are heard, “you are under arrest, drop your weapon!” A plastic urinal is shown on another black and white camera dropping on the floor with a plastic, Ting ting ting sound.

INT Gwenns Bathroom floor Mystery

Description: Shot moves back to Gwenn in her mermaid bathroom. Gwenn bends over and drops the skeleton key out of her pocket, next to a collection bill for student loans and her OTA license that is about to expire.

Open Loop: What does Gwenn have to do with the police? What does the skeleton key have to do with it?

Mystery: Who is under arrest?

Empathy/Distress: People can relate to student loan debt and being a caretaker is stressful.

Payoff:

Irony: Is a plastic urinal really a weapon?

Setup: Collection bill, someone is under arrest.

Act 1

INT. Orientation room Intriguing World

Description Close up on movie playing of orientation of carrington Manor. Gwenn is sitting at a table in orientation watching a video of people from the 90’s describing a building with a beautiful skilled nursing facility in the background preaching about what good care they give their patients. Gwenn sees a squirrel run by and squeals because she thinks it’s a rat, Karly the HR rep shhhh’s her.

Open Loop: Why is Gwenn watching a dated movie of old people and a skilled nursing facility? Does she work there?

Mystery: Why would anyone work there?

Empathy/Distress: It’s an awful place where older people go, it’s stressful to work in a place so awful. She must be desperate.

Payoff: She has to to pay off student loans

Irony: The scene is talking about how great the place is but the description of it visually is awful in real life.

Setup: Red flags she should probably look for another place to work

INT. Hallway

Description: Terry Gwenns boss pops in the orientation and asks to see Gwenn. Terry lets her know that she has failed the drug test. If she has any prescription medications she has to bring them in or else they will have to let her go. Gwenn agrees to go home and grab the medications. Gwenn notices black and white security cameras in the corners of the halls moving towards her as she is speaking with Terry.

Open Loop: Will Carrington Manor still hire her after failing the drug test?

Mystery:Why did she fail the drug test? Is she an addict?

Empathy/Distress: Demoralizing to be there in the first place let alone find out she has FAILED a drug test.

Payoff:

Irony: This company is awful and she failed the drug test

Setup: Is someone following her?

Act 2

EXT Front of Carrington Manor

Description: Gwenn steps outside and pretends to be talking on the phone for her break. She calls her mother. Gwenn’s mom answers the phone with a “Yellow.” Gwenn goes right into a conversation about what all has happened at this place and this crazy orientation she is at. Gwenn’s mom starts asking her questions, “Where are you? Why are you there? You are here? She does not seem to remember why she moved to Portland. A bill collector calls on the other line she pushes decline. She tells her mom she has to run home.

Open Loop: Gwenn’s mom does not remember why she is there

Mystery: Why is a bill collector calling?

Empathy/Distress: It’s hard to talk with someone who does not remember.

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup: For how demented Gwenn’s mom really is

INT. Gwenn’s apartment Hidden agenda

Description: Gwenn collects her drugs and is surprised to see a birthday cake lumpy and toppled over on her coffee table and her mother splayed open nude on the couch in the open kimono. Gwenn is startled. She takes her mother home and returns to Carrington Manor.

Open Loop: How demented is her mother?

Mystery: Why is Gwenn taking so many drugs?

Empathy/Distress: Gwenn’s mother clearly has issues how bad is it?

Payoff: Its not just one drug its 7

Irony: Who would hire a drug addict?

Setup: This company looks awful

Act 3

INT. Darla’s Office Day Strange Behavior

Description: Gwenn awkwardly tells them she was having anxiety issues. Gwenn has just moved to Portland and she is trying to care for her demented mother. She also informs Darla that she is not taking all of the drugs at once. She is not sure which one did not pass if they could tell her. Darla looks at her blankly and takes all 6 bottles and slowly makes copies of each bottle. Loudly, Terry tells a story of how great Darla is and how HOT she used to look when they first met. Darla ignores Terry and tells Gwenn, “Congratulations, you are hired, welcome to Carrington Manor.” She sends Gwenn, who looks confused and bewildered, back to orientation.

Open Loop: Why is Terry so open about her sexuality?

Mystery: Why on earth would this company hire someone with so many drugs? Why does she have a missing drug? Who took it?

Empathy/Distress: She is obviously stressed over moving here for her mom, but is she a drug addict?

Payoff:

Irony: Why would any company hire her?

Setup: This is a bad place to work for

ACT 4

INT. Halls of Carrington Manor Unique Subworld

Description Karly shows the group the building and patients. The building has stains on the floors, cameras that follow them, and patients who are drooling and slumped over in their chairs. Karly ends the tour at the supply closet where the 10 or more therapists share seats and work. Karly is positive and reassuring that this is a wonderful company to work for. Gwenn notices Earl who is carrying a plunger in his hand. She starts up a conversation with him but is interrupted by a patient wearing a kimono with a prescription drug bottle in her chair. She tells Karly it’s her mother and steps out to talk to her.

Open Loop: How did her mother get to the facility?

Mystery: Why are the therapists in a supply closet?

Empathy/Distress: Patients in horrible shape in a skilled nursing facility/ Who would want to work there?

Payoff: The missing bottle of drugs

Irony: Her mother should probably be in a facility like this but is not/It’s so great the therapists work in a supply closet.

Setup: her mother is way more involved then she wants her to be.

INT Hall of Carrington Manor Deception

Description: Spirit stands up out of the chair and loudly begins accusing Gwenn of stealing her clothes. No one in the facility acts like this is a bizarre situation. Gwenn points out she quit wearing clothing 5 years ago and remember she is having problems with her memory, Gwenn is here to help and have her sign over her Power of Attorney.

Open Loop: Why is she not wearing clothes?

Mystery: How demented is Spirit?

Empathy/Distress: How mortifying would it be to have your demented mother show up at work and start accusing you of stealing?

Payoff:

Irony: This makes her look like a terrible care taker

Setup: For how demented her mother really is

INT HALLWAY CARRINGTON MANOR WOUND?

Description of scene

Gwenn asks her mother to please wait outside or return home so she can finish her tour and orientation with the facility. Spirit first agrees and then turns on her and states, “I remember now why you want me to sign over the POA, to take all the book money I have ever earned! I should just give it to your sister, I always liked her better.

Gwen: Which one?

Spirit: You know you were the only one I was unlucky enough to birth. Hurt those they love.

A patient wheels herself by awkwardly and says she is looking for Earl, the guy with the plunger they are supposed to meet in the gym. Spirit ties her tie to her Komono tight and says, I will take you, because I am someone who actually cares about people. The patient pulls out an applesauce packet and tries to open it with her feeble hands. Both Spirit and Gwenn try to help her open it without using their teeth. Finally Spirit dives in and punctures it with her teeth to prove she is strong enough to open it.

Gwenn: HA! I knew it! You do remember things. And no, I don’t want all of your money. I am here because Adult Protective Services has called me too many times and I want you to continue living on your own. I am just here to help. Now give me that patient and let the professional wheel her to her to get the help she needs. She jerks the patient over in the chair who is still trying to eat the applesauce as the spoon flies out of her hand. The patient gets mad and says, “Really?” Stands up and starts walking to the gym. Spirit offers to call her mom later and her mom huffs off and says, lose my number!

Open Loop: Are patients pretending to be ill but really they are fine?

Mystery: Is Spirit pretending to be demented to get her own way?

Empathy/Distress: No one has even noticed or blinked while this is going on in the facility, awful stuff like this may happen all the time.

Payoff: Gwenn catches her mom pretending to be demented

Irony: The patient who says they need help doesn’t

Setup: Things aren’t what they seem.

Act 5

INT Rehab gym Hidden Layer

Gwenn feeling hopeless watches Spirit walk away as Terry attempts to give her a walker and she pushes it out of the way while leaving the facility as her Komono unties and visitors gasp.

Gwenn sits down in the gym on the matt and meets Sally who cheers her up and appears the most normal out of the bunch. She is funny and clumsy. Gwenn looks at a text message on her phone from another company thanking her for her application and interview but they decided not to hire at this time, as it turns out her bankruptcy is an issue for getting hired. Terry pokes her head in search of Abigail. Sally and Gwenn say they haven’t seen her. Terry mumbles under her breath speaking about minutes and how she can’t trust pussie lickers.

Open Loop: Is this the only job she will be able to secure?

Mystery: Why is Sally so normal?

Empathy/Distress: How is she not fired or reprimanded with such an odd day?

Payoff: Companies who are shitty do this

Irony: Sally is normal

Setup: Does Terry hate gay people?

INT Hallway Deception

Both girls move outside towards Sally’s patient. Sally blatantly tells Gwenn she will have to lie about billing medicare minutes or lose her job. This is how the game is played. Sally leaves Gwenn to go help her patient. Sally sticks her head out of the room to ask Gwenn for help with her patient who slipped on dog poop. Gwenn ends up running out of the room being chased by the dog.

Open Loop: She has to bill fraudulently to keep her job?

Mystery: Why?

Empathy/Distress: She desperately needs this job but is she willing to risk her license to do so?

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT OUTSIDE ENTRYWAY Carrington Manor Hidden Agenda

Description: Gwenn checks her pockets and realizes there is no phone, she turns to return to the building. On her way in and she sees a bill on the front entryway desk for cameras sent to Medicare stamped PAID.

Open Loop: Is this company in trouble with medicare?

Mystery: Why are there cameras?

Empathy/Distress: Gwenn is asked to be sneaky in front of cameras, how will she do it?

Payoff: She knows something is up

Irony: Camaras

Setup: Tricky situation

INT FRONT ENTRYWAY Unique subworld

Description: Gwenn sees the phone next to the snarling dog, and a squirrel runs by as the dog leaves Gwenn to chase the squirrel. Gwenn grabs phone and walks outside.

Open Loop: What kind of a place has squirrels and dogs?

Mystery:

Empathy/Distress: hard work

Payoff:

Irony:

Setup:

EXT OUTSIDE ENTRYWAY CM Imminent threat

She gets her phone, sits down on the sidewalk (out of breath) hears the message

Lock In: VO message on her phone from private loan company “My Rich Uncle” she needs to start paying back student loans or they will write a complaint to the licensing board (black mailing her) so she won’t be able to renew her license.

She looks at phone as APS calls. She declines it, stands up and starts to walk away.

Scene ends with the song from Alanis Morissette Ironic.

Open Loop: Will Gwenn have to take this job in order to keep her license?

Mystery: Why is APS calling now?

Empathy/Distress: Oh my she is in for a lot

Payoff: none

Irony: She works with the geriatric population but has not control over her mother

Setup: She has to keep working at this job…….

(OL) Is this the only job that Gwenn will be able to secure?

(M) Where else did she apply to?

Gwenn walks by a desk and sees a piece of paper that shows cameras have been installed in a note to Medicare Auditors.

(OL) Has this company been in trouble with Medicare?

Sally tells Gwenn about “billing minutes” and in order to keep the job she must participate. Gwenn will get fired if she doesnt. Gwenn is a bit perplexed.

(M) What does that mean?

(OL) Will Gwenn fraudulently bill medicare in order to keep a job?

Spirit calls Gwenn again and tells her she will never sign over the POA and why did she call? I am in the middle of bathing snickers.

Gwenn: But mom I did not call you, you called me and snickers is a cat and they bathe themselv……….. Cat sounds in background, Spirit hangs up the phone.

(M) How badly injured will Spirit be after attempting to bathe the cat?

(OL) WIll Spirit always be this annoying and needy?

Terry walks in looking irritated looking for Abigail (coworker). Sally and Gwenn have not seen her, she walks off cursing to herself that if that paperwork doesn’t change that will be the last of that Pussy licker! Betrayal?

(OL) What happened between Terry and Abigail?

(M) Why is she so mad about the paperwork being wrong?

(OL) Does Terry hate gay people?

Sally goes to help a patient with a call light that has slipped in dog poop and fell. She calls for Gwenn to help who cheerfully agrees to be useful.

(M) Why are their dogs in the facility?

Gwenn leaves running for the exit with a dog snarling at her heels.

Gwenn realizes she dropped her phone and has to go back in the building past the snarling dog to get her phone. The squirrel runs by and distracts the dog.

(M) Why is there a squirrel in the building?

She gets her phone, sits down on the sidewalk (out of breath) hears the message

Lock In: VO message on her phone from private loan company “My Rich Uncle” she needs to start paying back student loans or they will write a complaint to the licensing board (black mailing her) so she won’t be able to renew her license.

(OL) Will Gwenn have to take this job in order to keep her license?

She looks at phone as APS calls. She declines it, stands up and starts to walk away.

Scene ends with the song from Alanis Morissette Ironic.