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Day 12 Assignments
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ASSIGNMENT – DAY 12
Subject line: Alan Gives Great Clues!
What I learned is: I need more clues. Got to work on this assignment some more and come up with some new/better ideas.
1. List out the three or four main mysteries in your story.
· Who abducted Holly Sampson?
· Who abducted Madison Hansen, who did they sell her to and where is she now?
· Who abducted Erin Raynor and where did they take her?
· Who did they sell Holly to and where is she now?
2. Create a list of clues for each of the main mysteries in your story.
· Who abducted Holly Sampson?
1. The ‘world’s best weed guy roofies Holly.
2. He drives off with her in the back of a white Sprinter van.
3. Police have an eBay-like page for Holly.
4. Holly’s eBay page is on the dark web run by a sophisticated sex trafficking gang.
· Who abducted Madison Hansen, who did they sell her to and where is she now?
1. Jay abducts Madison.
2. But it wasn’t Jay, it was Finn.
3. The FBI intercepts a message that the traffickers are selling girls to an Iowa Truck Brothel that fit the descriptions of Holly and Madison.
4. Jay follows a trucker to the brothel looking for Holly.
5. The FBI follows Jay and rescues Madison.
· Who abducted Erin Raynor and where did they take her?
1. The Rolex Creep roofies Erin, but Jay saves her.
2. The Rolex Creep drives by Erin’s apartment.
3. Erin gets offered a modeling job.
4. Ford Models says the modeling job is fake.
5. Erin agrees to act as bait and accepts the job.
6. The traffickers outsmart the FBI and abduct Erin.
7. Erin sneaks her phone into her bikini bottom.
8. The FBI tracks Erin’s phone to the boat.
· Who did they sell Holly to and where is she now?
1. Holly didn’t get shipped to the Iowa Truck Brothel.
2. Madison knows all the eBay girls are shipped west.
3. Holly’s not with Erin and the other rescued girls on the ship.
4. Jay uses Holly’s dad’s money to buy Holly back.
5. But the gang bait and switch Holly with another abductee.
6. The CIA locates Holly in a Beijing Brothel.
7. Jay verifies it’s Holly at the brothel.
8. Jay and Holly’s dad’s security team try to steal her back.
3. Decide which clues you want to use and sequence those into clue trails for each mystery.
· Who abducted Holly Sampson?
· The trafficker drives Holly away in a white Sprinter van.
· Police have an eBay-like page for Holly.
· Holly’s eBay page is on the dark web run by a sophisticated sex trafficking gang.
· Who abducted Madison Hansen, who did they sell her to and where is she now?
· The FBI hacks a message that the traffickers are selling girls to an Iowa Truck Brothel that fit the descriptions of Holly and Madison.
· Who abducted Erin Raynor and where did they take her?
· Ford Models says the modeling job is fake.
· Who did they sell Holly to and where is she now?
· Madison knows Holly and all the other eBay girls are shipped west.
· The CIA locates Holly in a Beijing Brothel.
· Jay verifies it’s Holly at the brothel.
4. Add the clue trails to your Thriller Map.
5. Give us the latest version of your Thriller Map:
Alan’s Thriller Map – A BLIND EYE
Villain’s Plan 1 – Lure Holly Sampson by offering to smoke the ‘world’s best weed’ with her, roofie her, and abduct her.
OPENING: After having dinner with Jay, Holly Sampson sneaks away to share the world’s best weed, but instead, gets roofied and abducted.
TWIST 1:
· Direction: Holly expects to enjoy smoking weed.
· Twist: Holly gets roofied and abducted.
CLUE: The trafficker drives Holly away in a white Sprinter van.
1. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’ve been married for three years.
Mystery 1: Who abducted Holly and where did they take her?
2. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy often doesn’t come home claiming to be studying for law school.
Villain’s Plan 2: At a bar, a trafficker roofies Erin Raynor and plans to abduct her.
Life Threatening 2: A trafficker drugs Erin with a date-rape drug and tries to abduct her.
1. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay sees Orlando put white powder in Erin’s drink.
1. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay sees neighbor girl, Erin, being roofied and saves her.
TWIST 2:
· Direction: Jay saves a roofied Erin from being raped by the Rolex Creep.
· Twist: The Rolex Creep threatens to kill Jay.
2. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Orlando threatens to kill Jay.
Life Threatening 3: The trafficker threatens to kill Jay for saving Erin.
Mystery 2: Who roofied Erin and why did he threaten Jay’s life?
1. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn comes to investigate who roofied Erin.
2. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay.
3. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay from jail.
TWIST 3:
· Direction: Jay walks Erin home, shoves her in the house to protect her.
· Twist: Erin was wearing a police wire to entrap Jay.
2. Distrust Jay / Erin – Erin wears a wire for the police to entrap Jay.
4. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay, again.
Life Threatening 4: The police arrest Jay for Holly’s abduction and jail him.
Life Threatening 5: Madison Hansen is molested by her stepfather.
Mystery 3: Where is runaway Madison going?
Villain’s Plan 3: Traffickers stake out the Denver bus stop hunting for runaways. They find 13 year-old Madison there all alone and offer to buy her lunch. After a nice lunch, they offer her a place to stay. She accepts. They abduct her and plan to sell her to a brothel.
REVEAL: After buying her bus ticket to Denver, Madison is almost broke.
TWIST 4:
· Direction: ‘Jay’ buys Madison lunch and offers her a place to stay.
· Twist: Jay is actually Finn, a sex trafficker, using Jay’s name at Orlando’s instruction.
Life Threatening 6: Finn takes Madison to their hideout and locks her up with several other girls.
REVEAL: Orlando tells Finn to keep using Jay’s name.
INCITING INCIDENT: Jay learns Holly’s been abducted and wants to help rescue her.
5. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay. She’s only trying to find Holly.
3. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & Erin review mugshots to catch the traffickers.
4. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin orders Jay to leave and not come back.
3. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy moves out without talking to Jay.
TWIST 5:
· Direction: Police are sure they can learn Holly’s whereabouts from the trafficker.
· Twist: The trafficker is found dead in a park gully.
Life Threatening 7: The trafficker Jay identified is found dead in a park gully the next morning.
4. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’re both worried about Holly.
5. Trust: Jay / Erin – They learn the trafficker’s been murdered, so they review more mugshots for the police.
5. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy forged Jay’s signature to get her law school paid for by Jay’s dad.
6. Trust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy swears she isn’t cheating on Jay with another man.
REVEAL: Lacy is in bed with her lesbian lover.
TWIST 6:
· Direction: Jay needs Detective Quinn to vouch for him at work.
· Twist: There is no Detective Quinn in the Denver police dept. Jay gets fired.
6. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay needs Quinn to vouch for him at work, but there is no Detective Quinn on the Denver police force.
7. Trust: Jay / Quinn – REVEAL: Quinn is a Special Agent for the FBI leading a joint task force with the Denver Police Department.
Life Threatening 8: Traffickers auction Holly and Erin on the dark web.
CLUE: Police have an eBay-like page for Holly.
CLUE: Holly’s eBay page is on the dark web run by a sophisticated sex trafficking gang.
TURNING POINT 1: Holly’s one of a recent bevy of girls that’ve been abducted by a sophisticated sex trafficking ring that plans to auction her to the highest bidder on the dark web.
Mystery 4: How can they get Holly back?
3. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay learns Orlando is abducting girls for a dark web sex trafficking gang. Orlando’s gang abducted Holly.
CLUE: The FBI hacks a message that the traffickers are selling girls to an Iowa Truck Brothel that fit the descriptions of Holly and Madison.
Life Threatening 9: The traffickers sell Madison and several other young girls to the trucker brothel and smuggle them to an Iowa truck stop.
TWIST 7:
· Direction: The police and Jay are sure they will rescue Holly in Iowa.
· Twist: Holly’s not there.
MIDPOINT: Holly wasn’t among the rescued girls sold to the Iowa truck brothel. Dark web auction bids for Holly sky-rocket.
Mystery 8: If not to Iowa, where did the traffickers take Holly?
CLUE: Madison knows Holly and all the other eBay girls are shipped west.
Life Threatening 10: FBI agents learn Holly’s being shipped off to China.
Life Threatening 11: A truck brothel thug tries to kill Jay and abduct Erin.
TWIST 8:
· Direction: A truck brothel thug captures Jay and will kill him.
· Twist: The Denver detective kills the thug and saves Jay.
Life Threatening 12: The Denver detective shoots/kills the thug.
8. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn saves Jay from the brothel thug.
Villain’s Plan 4: Traffickers offer Erin Raynor a modeling job, which she accepts. They pick her up in a limo at the L.A. airport. But there is no modeling job. Instead Erin is locked in the back of the limo, which is totally insulated to prevent her from calling for help or being tracked. They smuggle her to a boat bound for China.
Life Threatening 13: Erin gets offered and unknowingly accepts a fake modeling job in Mexico.
CLUE: Ford Models says the modeling job is fake.
9. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay hates that Quinn wants to use Erin as bait.
6. Trust: Jay / Erin – They scheme to sneak to Mexico away together.
TWIST 9:
· Direction: Erin agrees to sneak off to Mexico with Jay without telling the FBI.
· Twist: Erin changes her mind and agrees to be bait for the FBI without telling Jay.
Life Threatening 14: After learning it’s a fake, Erin agrees to be wired and tracked by the police as bait to catch the traffickers.
10. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn convinces Erin to be bait for the FBI.
7. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin blindsides Jay by agreeing to bait for the FBI.
TWIST 10:
· Direction: Erin is being tracked by the FBI and will lead them to Holly.
· Twist: The traffickers use a “shielded” limo and the limo garage.
Life Threatening 15: The traffickers outsmart the police by putting Erin in the back of a ‘shielded’ limo. The police tracking devices don’t work.
Villain’s Plan 5: Sell Holly and Erin on the dark web the highest bidder.
TWIST 11:
· Direction: Erin is directed to leave the limo for the photo shoot without any possessions wearing only a bikini.
· Twist: Erin hides her phone in her bikini bottom.
Life Threatening 16: Quinn kills two traffickers at the boat holding Erin and the other abducted women, but not Holly.
11. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn kills Orlando and Finn, saving Erin.
8. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & the FBI save Erin from the traffickers.
Life Threatening 17: Holly is smuggled to China and sold on the dark web.
TWIST 12:
· Direction: Jay wins Holly’s auction and goes to pick her up.
· Twist: The traffickers deliver a lookalike instead of Holly.
TURNING POINT 2: Using his and Holly’s rich father’s money, Jay wins the bid to buy Holly back from the traffickers. But the traffickers bait and switch delivery of Holly with some other lookalike abducted girl.
Life Threatening 18: The traffickers double-cross the highest bidder, Jay. They bait and switch Holly for a lookalike abducted girl.
Mystery 6: Where did the traffickers take Holly now?
CLUE: The CIA locates Holly in a Beijing Brothel.
Life Threatening 19: The traffickers sell and smuggle Holly to a Beijing brothel.
CLUE: Jay goes to the brothel as a John and verifies it’s Holly at the brothel.
Life Threatening 20: Jay and a security expert from Holly’s dad’s company go into the brothel to try to rescue Holly.
TWIST 13:
· Direction: Jay and the Security Guy walk out of the brothel.
· Twist: Holly is disguised as the Security Guy and escapes.
CLIMAX: Jay and Holly’s father’s security team pull a bait and switch on the Beijing Brothel to save Holly. Holly flies back to America, but Chinese police arrest Jay for sex trafficking her.
TWIST 14:
· Direction: Rescued from traffickers, Holly is going to fly home with Jay.
· Twist: Chinese police arrest Jay for trafficking Holly.
Mystery 7: How will Jay get out of Chinese prison?
RESOLUTION: With the FBI’s help, the Chinese release Jay and he flies to vacation in Hawaii with Erin.
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ASSIGNMENT LESSON 12 – CLUES:
Subject Line: Kim J gives great clues!
I learned that most of my clues were already present in my “Events” from the mysteries. My Thriller Map will be a great blueprint for writing if I can get the beats right.
MYSTERY A: What’s going on with Sage?
CLUES A:
1. Sage is 25 and lives with her mother even though she has a job and her mother is only 60 and in good health.
2. Sage is obsessed and manic about her graphic novel.
3. Sage takes a handful of silver party store coins with her when she goes out if she has to pay “Charon the Boatman” to take her over the River Styx should she die. Mom Carol seems worried when Sage says this.
4. She talks with characters in her graphic novel illustrations as though they’re sentient beings. Carol purses her lips disapprovingly as Sage talks to her drawings.
5. The police don’t take her seriously (due to a long history of incidents related to her mental illness, causing the police to dismiss Sage and her mother).
6. Sage hides underneath her booth at the Donut Shop when she sees the men run past. She believes they’re out to get her.
7. She hears the voices of Juno and Minerva (Sage’s auditory hallucination voices) commenting on her behavior in the third person.
MYSTERY B: Why does Lindsey befriend Sage at the Boardwalk?
CLUES B:
1. Lindsey watches the ride Sage is on from a lemonade stand.
2. Lindsey steps out beside Sage on the Boardwalk and tells her she’s being followed. Sage sees the shadowy men.
3. When she tells Sage to run, they hide in the parking lot, crouching beside cars and peeking around bumpers in a very paranoid display. Sage falls for it.
4. Lindsey shows Sage a discarded newspaper in the Donut Shop, which says it’s 1995, the year before the critical battle in Sage’s graphic novel. It’s actually 2020.
5. When Sage goes through Lindsey’s purse, she sees her driver’s license, which expires in 1999.
6. When they go to Lindsey’s motel room to hide, the phone is ringing, and Lindsey refuses to answer it. She rips the phone from the wall.
MYSTERY C: Where’s my mother? Where’s my daughter?
CLUES C:
1. Lindsey shows Sage a missing flyer with Sage’s picture on it. Sage begins to believe she’s on another timeline.
2. When Sage goes to her mother’s house, which a “renter now occupies,” she notices her mother’s dog figurine on the mantle.
3. Sage slips on/finds a plastic coin left on the porch when she turns to leave, which she’d dropped when she left the house earlier that afternoon.
4. Carol’s cell phone no longer exists on the “find my phone.” The house phone number is “disconnected or no longer in service.”
5. Lindsey suggests they go to the police, but Sage refuses, saying the police “won’t believe me anyway. They never do.”
MYSTERY D: Is Sage really living in her graphic novel?
CLUES D:
1. Sage hasn’t been taking her medication.
1. Sage experiences auditory hallucinations – voices talking about her in the third person.
2. She sees the motto on the wall change from “Interception, not Resurrection” to “A safe space for creatives to explore and apply the contents of their TRUE MINDS to their art.”
3. She sees an illuminated EXIT sign read HELL, just like in her graphic novel.
4. She touches the door to the incinerator, and it’s hot. She burns her fingers and believes it’s their portal to HELL.
5. Sven brutalizes her to get her to change the outcome of a critical battle in the novel.
6. Her editor Diana is part of the ruse and discovers Sage hasn’t received her medication. Diana gets her medication.
UPDATED THRILLER MAP:
VILLAIN’S EVIL PLAN: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her “research” and to attract wealthy creatives with mental illness to her center. Lindsey learns Sage stands to get a 7-figure book and movie deal and wants to position herself to access that money via LPS conservatorship.
*OPENING: Sage is working on her graphic novel.
SAGE’S SECRET: (SET-UP) Sage is seriously mentally ill.
SAGE’S MYSTERY: Why does Sage behave as she does?
SAGE’S EVENTS:
1. Sage’s mania as she works on her graphic novel.
2. Sage tells Carol she is taking her medication. We believe her and think, “maybe she’s just an eccentric artist.”
3. Shares delusional beliefs with Carol. Carol observes Sage’s obsessive mania.
4. Sage hides something under the corner of her mattress.
PLOT TWIST: Sage has been lying to her mother about taking her medication.
POTENTIAL DANGERS:
Sage’s vulnerable state of mind colors every decision she makes from the outset of the film.
DEMAND FOR REVEAL: *We create the demand to know what’s going on behind Sage’s eccentric, artistic persona and odd behavior. The audience should be curious about her and want to follow her journey.
*We reveal some of the info in her conversation with Carol, then we confirm it more dramatically when we hear the voices inside Sage’s head talking about her in the third person.
TRUST BASIC STATE:
Hero Sage
A. Basic State – Mostly trustworthy. She lies to her mother about her medication compliance. She steals money from her mother and Lindsey but is otherwise trustworthy. Just don’t leave your wallet lying around in her presence.
B. Her condition makes her an “unreliable” protagonist. The audience can’t trust her perceptions of some events. The other characters view her as trusting and naive.
CLUES A:
1. Sage is 25 and lives with her mother even though she has a job and her mother is only 60 and in good health.
2. Sage sees a page from the novel come to life on the page.
3. Mom Carol is worried when Sage grabs a handful of toy coins on her way out if she has to pay “Charon the Boatman” to take her over the River Styx if she should die.
4. She talks with characters in her graphic novel illustrations as though they’re sentient beings. Carol purses her lips disapprovingly as Sage talks to her drawings.
5. Sage says the police don’t take her seriously, so she doesn’t report Carol missing.
6. Sage hides underneath her booth at the Donut Shop when she sees the men run past. Lindsey suggested, and Sage believes the men are out to get her.
7. She hears the voices of Juno and Minerva commenting on her behavior in the third person.
VILLAIN’S SECRET A: J.J.’s mysterious wife (whose face we don’t see) learns that 1: Sage’s mother has LPS conservatorship and 2: Sage stands to get a 7-figure book and movie deal from her graphic novel.
MYSTERY A: Who is J.J.’s wife? What does she want?
EVENTS A:
1. Phone call between J.J. and his wife sets up the motive and sets the plan in motion. The conversation is ambiguous.
PLOT TWIST A: Though the conversation doesn’t reveal it, we suspect J.J. and his wife may be involved in a ploy.
Who is J.J.’s mysterious wife?
DEMAND FOR REVEAL: *We create the demand to know who she is and what she’s up to through obscuring her face, revealing her posh environment, and through the conversation with her husband and Sage’s publisher, J.J., about Sage’s LPS Conservatorship and potential 7-figure book/movie deal.
*We reveal it at the Midpoint when Sage sees the mysterious woman kissing Sven in the Center after they’ve put something in the incinerator. When she turns around, we recognize her as Lindsey ~ not the scroungy Lindsey from the Boardwalk, but as J.J.’s mysterious wife and the psychiatrist running the Fed West/Free Will Center.
POTENTIAL DANGERS A:
1. Someone out for money and power is capable of anything, even murder.
2. Sage is at risk of losing everything, even her life.
3. Sage’s mother, Carol, is in danger too.
*INCITING INCIDENT: Sage meets Lindsey at the Boardwalk, and goes with her.
VILLAIN’S SECRET B: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her “research” and to attract wealthy creatives with mental illness to her center.
MYSTERY B: Why did Lindsey befriend Sage at the Boardwalk?
EVENTS B:
1. Lindsey appears seemingly out of nowhere.
2. Lindsey stalked the boardwalk ride and targeted Sage.
3. Two shadowy men follow Sage on the Boardwalk.
4. Lindsey tells Sage she’s being followed and helps her elude the shadowy men by running and hiding in the huge Boardwalk parking lot.
DEMAND FOR REVEAL: Who is Lindsey from the Boardwalk, and why is she helping Sage?
*We create the demand by showing Lindsey watching the ride Sage is on, observing the shadowy men following Sage, warning Sage she is being followed by the men and leading her in escaping them.
*We reveal she is there to “help” Sage when she helps Sage elude the shadowy men. “I’m Lindsey. You need my help.” We suspect it goes even deeper and look for more revelations later in the story.
TRUST BASIC STATE:
True Villain Lindsey/J.J.’s Mysterious Wife
A. TRUST BASIC STATE – Trusted by Sage, but shouldn’t be.
When Lindsey learns Sage is on the cusp of a 7-figure book and movie deal from husband and publisher, J.J.(Sage doesn’t know it yet). Lindsey lures Sage away from her mother, who has LPS conservatorship over Sage.
Lindsey lures Sage to Los Angeles to her Center for wealthy creatives with mental illness. In reality, Lindsey has staged a ruse that feeds into Sage’s delusional state of mind, leading her to believe she’s living in her graphic novel.
Creates situations in which she appears to be helping Sage but is luring her into a trap to gain access to Sage and her money that will follow.
B. Red herring villain Sven trusts Lindsey but shouldn’t. J.J. trusts Lindsey but shouldn’t until he becomes suspicious she’s having an affair.
POTENTIAL DANGERS B:
1. Sage’s mental health is getting worse.
2. Sage is susceptible to Lindsey’s manipulation.
TWIST B: We believe Lindsey is helping Sage, but Lindsey is manipulating her.
MYSTERY B CLUES:
1. Lindsey watches the ride Sage is on from a lemonade stand.
2. Lindsey steps out beside Sage on the Boardwalk and tells her she’s being followed. Sage sees the shadowy men.
3. When she tells Sage to run, they hide in the parking lot, crouching beside cars and peeking around bumpers in a very paranoid display. Sage falls for it.
4. Lindsey shows Sage a discarded newspaper in the Donut Shop, which says it’s 1995, the year before the critical battle in Sage’s graphic novel. It’s actually 2020.
5. When Sage goes through Lindsey’s purse, she sees her driver’s license, which expires in 1999.
6. When they go to Lindsey’s motel room to hide, the phone is ringing, and Lindsey refuses to answer it. She rips the phone from the wall.
TRUST BASIC STATE:
Publisher Jerome “J.J.” Jacobs:
A. Trustable, but appears untrustable. He appears involved in Lindsey’s ruse but is unaware of what she’s doing until he uncovers her affair with Sven. Sage trusts him. He helps her.
B. He trusts his wife, Lindsey, but shouldn’t. He uncovers her affair with Sven and turns on her. He also assists Sage from the final story beats to the resolution.
VILLAIN’S SECRET C: Separate Sage from her mother so she is isolated and vulnerable. Take her to the treatment facility and lock her up.
MYSTERY C: Where’s my mother? Where’s my daughter?
EVENTS C:
1. Sage is distressed that Carol may be dead but fears the police won’t believe her.
2. With nowhere else to go, Sage goes with Lindsey.
3. Carol discovers Sage is missing and goes to the police.
4. Because Sage has a history with the police from incidents relating to her mental illness, the police dismiss Carol’s concerns while Sage is in danger.
POTENTIAL DANGERS C:
1. Distressed by Carol’s disappearance, Sage exhibits poor judgment, makes poor decisions.
2. Lindsey sets up a ruse to make Sage believe it is her idea to go with Lindsey.
3. Without Carol, Sage has no allies, so she relies on Lindsey.
4. Carol fears Sage has been kidnapped, but the police dismiss her concerns. They know Sage from prior incidents.
5. Carol must investigate, but a run-in with Lindsey could cost Carol her life.
TWIST C1: We believe Sage will walk away from Lindsey after she learns her mother is missing. Instead, believing Lindsey is helping her, Sage asks to go with Lindsey.
TWIST C2: Carol is tied up in her basement. Her friend Fran finds her.
MYSTERY C CLUES:
1. Lindsey shows Sage a missing flyer with Sage’s picture on it. Sage begins to believe she’s on another timeline.
2. When Sage goes to her mother’s house, now occupied by a “renter,” she notices her mother’s dog figurine on the mantle.
3. Sage slips on a plastic coin left on the porch when she turns to leave, which she’d dropped when she left the house earlier that afternoon.
4. Carol’s cell phone no longer exists on the “find my phone.” The house phone number is “disconnected or no longer in service.”
5. Lindsey suggests they go to the police, but Sage refuses, saying the police “won’t believe me anyway. They never do.”
DEMAND FOR REVEAL: What happened to Sage’s mother, Carol?
*In the span of a few hours, Carol is missing from her home, and there is a renter there who indicates Carol may be dead.
*We reveal the detail of Carol’s dog figurine on the mantle. We later see the dramatic reveal when Carol’s friend, Fran, enters the house and discovers Carol tied up in the basement. Fran releases her, and they start to look for Sage.
TRUST BASIC STATE: Carol is trustworthy throughout Sage’s journey.
*TURNING POINT 1 (call to action): Sage asks to go with Lindsey. Sage begins her journey.
VILLAIN’S SECRET D: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her research at the Center in Los Angeles. She needs to bring her there.
MYSTERY D: What is this place? Why am I here? Wait, what -– you’re leaving me here?
POTENTIAL DANGERS D:
1. The inside of the Center is a simulation of Sage’s graphic novel. Sage doesn’t understand what is happening or why.
2. Lindsey drops Sage off and mentions Sven.
3. Sage is distressed at Lindsey’s leaving.
4. The security guard has handcuffs.
5. When Sage tries to leave, Beverly and Paul threaten her with hard restraints.
TWIST D: Lindsey takes Sage to the Center and leaves her there under Sage’s protests, revealing that she’s not Sage’s ally after all. Up to this point, we saw her as a helper.
MYSTERY D CLUES:
1. Sage hasn’t been taking her medication.
1. Sage experiences auditory hallucinations – voices talking about her in the third person.
2. She sees the motto on the wall change from “Interception, not Resurrection” to “A safe space for creatives to explore and apply the contents of their TRUE MINDS to their art.”
3. She sees an illuminated EXIT sign read HELL, just like in her graphic novel.
4. She touches the door to the incinerator, and it’s hot. She burns her fingers and believes it’s their portal to HELL.
5. Sven brutalizes her to get her to change the outcome of a critical battle in the novel.
6. Her editor Diana participates in the ruse and discovers Sage hasn’t been receiving her medication. Diana gets her medication.
*MIDPOINT: Sage believes she is living in her graphic novel — that she is their prophet. Sage sees/hears a popular rapper who has had a very public battle with mental illness. He’s in terrible shape, begging for help and at risk for suicide. Sage begins to suspect Lindsey is not who she seems to be. But are her suspicions just more paranoia and delusion?
Why is rapper Trey there? What’s going on with him?
*We create a demand for the reveal when Sage hears Trey singing in the Center (she recognizes his anti-drug rap song and sings, mouthing the chorus), then later when she catches a glimpse of him in terrible shape, begging for help, threatening suicide.
MIDPOINT DEMAND FOR REVEAL:
*We reveal that Trey is gravely mentally ill and that he is also Lindsey’s patient. Sage sees Sven put something (Trey’s body) in the incinerator, and then she observes Sven and Lindsey in a passionate moment immediately after. When Sage breaks into Sven’s office, she finds the “incident report” listing Trey as a “walk-away” from his “voluntary hospitalization” at the “Free Will Center.”
VILLAIN’S SECRET E: Lindsey created a simulation of Sage’s graphic novel to plunge Sage further into her delusional state.
MYSTERY E: Is Sage really living in her graphic novel?
EVENTS E:
1. Sage faces her graphic novel villain, Sven, who tries to force her to rewrite the battle’s outcome in her novel.
2. Sven has Sage tased, brutalized by his thuggish guards.
3. Sage finds the “Portal to Hell” from her graphic novel.
4. Sage sees Sven after he’s dumped something into the portal.
TWIST E: The “Portal to Hell” is actually an incinerator. Sven may be disposing of victims.
DEMAND FOR REVEAL: Is Sage really living in her graphic novel?
*We create the demand by showing all the players: Lindsey from the Boardwalk, Publisher J.J., Editor Diana, the motto on the wall, Villain Sven trying to force Sage to change the outcome of the critical battle in her novel, The “FEDERATION WEST – Interception, not resurrection” banner on the wall of the Center.
*The beginning of the dramatic reveal is when Sage sees the Federation West sign and motto replaced by “Free Will Institute – A safe space for creatives to explore and apply the contents of their TRUE MINDS to their art and craft.”
Sage is beginning to understand the truth.
TRUST:
Red Herring Character Sven
A. Not trustworthy. He tortures Sage. He would sell Lindsey out to save himself. She would do the same. Since they’re “in love,” they want to believe.
POTENTIAL DANGERS E:
1. Sven’s tactics might kill Sage (tasing, beating).
2. Sven might kill Sage if he’s found dumping something into the incinerator.
VILLAIN’ SECRET F: Staffers fear for their safety and careers, so they play along with Lindsey’s ruse to make Sage believe she is living inside her graphic novel.
MYSTERY F: Are the staff from inside the graphic novel, or are they role-playing?
EVENTS F:
1. Sage begins asking questions that can get her killed.
2. Diana is a key player in this game. She plays the role of J.J.’s editor. She’s concerned Sage isn’t getting medication.
TWIST F: Diana had played along with Lindsey’s drama plan, but she realizes it’s sinister and unethical and sneaks medication to Sage. She turns on Lindsey.
POTENTIAL DANGERS F:
People are at risk of being murdered to cover for Lindsey’s plans, including Sage.
DEMAND FOR REVEAL:
Who is Diana, and what does she want?
*We create the demand by showing she’s J.J.’s editor (as another character whose face we don’t yet see), then she shows up in the Center as an actor in Lindsey’s ploy.
*We reveal who she is dramatically when we see her sneak medication to Sage and see the lanyard around her neck, indicating she is a psychiatric social worker at the Center. She’s been playing a role in Lindsey’s ruse to convince Sage she’s living in her graphic novel, but she’s had an ethical awakening.
TRUST BASIC STATE:
Editor/Psychiatric Social Worker Diana:
A. Basic State Untrustable then becomes trustable.
B. She first works with Lindsey in the graphic novel ruse. She realizes how damaging and unethical Lindsey’s “treatment” modality of withholding medication and feeding delusions is. She will help Sage by crossing Lindsey and sneaking medication to Sage to help her escape in Act 2-B.
*TURNING POINT 2: Sage sees Lindsey and Sven in a romantic moment. Sage finds Diana dead. Trey has hung himself. She’s terrified she’ll be next. Lindsey tells Sage her mother has been found dead. Sage is now at the height of desperation.
VILLAIN’S SECRET G: Lindsey is the real villain, not graphic novel villain Sven. They killed Diana and were responsible for Trey’s “suicide.” We pursue the obvious, Sven’s graphic novel plan and his villain role, throughout the movie until we learn Lindsey is behind the whole thing.
MYSTERY G: Who is Lindsey? Who is Sven? Is J.J. involved?
EVENTS G:
1. Sage spies on them.
2. Sage breaks into Sven’s office.
3. Sage finds her phone. She activates the phone locator so Carol can find her – they have a “family plan” so Carol knows where Sage is at all times.
4. Sage finds a gun, her phone, and the “incident report” about Trey in Sven’s desk drawer.
5. J.J. comes to the Center to investigate his suspicions that his wife, Lindsey, is having an affair with someone she works with.
6. Beverly and Paul don’t allow J.J. access, citing patient confidentiality.
7. Lindsey does a change of clothes and meets J.J. outside.
8. Sage sees them outside talking. Lindsey is in a lab coat, but Sage recognizes Lindsey.
TWIST G: Scroungy Lindsey from the boardwalk is actually the savvy, manipulative psychiatrist who runs the Center.
POTENTIAL DANGERS G:
1. Lindsey will kill to keep her affair with Sven secret. Sage has seen them together.
2. If her affair with Sven is found out, J.J. may cut Lindsey off from her lavish lifestyle by divorcing her or putting her in prison. She won’t get access to Sage’s money for the book/movie deal. Lindsey’s now at her apex of desperation.
3. Sage is locked away, desperate, with no one to help her.
*CLIMAX: Sage escapes the building, but Lindsey intercepts her, knocks her out, and drags her back to the Center. J.J. sneaks into the Center. Sven battles with J.J. and almost kills him. Sage kills Lindsey.
*RESOLUTION: J.J. has tipped off the L.A.P.D. Carol has found out where Sage is. The L.A.P.D. arrive about the time Carol does. Carol and Sage reunite and go home.
Sage tries to draw but is uninspired, her affect flat. She looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, takes a pill from a bottle, raises it to her lips. Smash to black as we hear the toilet flush.
We’re led to believe that after Sage is safe at home with her mother, she’ll be compliant with her medication and control her psychiatric symptoms.
TWIST: Despite her ordeal, Sage still disposes of her meds.
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Sandra Gives Great Clues!
What I learned is that clues should be spread throughout to give the viewer an opportunity to attempt to solve the mystery, but shouldn’t be too covert to make it easy to figure out.
OPENING Creepy sounds coming from a museum object.
Mystery/Intrigue: Why is Max so interested in the manuscript?
Reveal/Covert clue: It is based on a poem for a piece of music he loved as a child.
INCITING INCIDENT
Max purchases a rare manuscript that has a history of being cursed.
Life Threatening 1
Is the manuscript really cursed?
Villain’s Plan 1
His daughter discovers he has purchased the piece and starts thinking of how to manipulate him in order to get money from him
TRUST: Lilith is his only child and has never hurt him before. Yes, she asks for money, but he believes only because she needs it.
DISTRUST: She uses her position as his daughter to get information about his fears.
Mystery 1 Why is music playing without anyone near the piano?
Villain’s Plan 2
She pretends to offer help by enlisting a Shaman to quell the curse.
TWIST 1 (new consequences emerge)
Direction: A Shaman comes to the house to try to quell the evil spirit.
Twist: The attempt doesn’t work and the Shaman does damage to the home in the process.
Life Threatening 3
Her friend suggests more life-threatening tactics to scare him further – now his physical life is in danger.
Mystery 2 How did the words “Satan Rules” get on the manuscript?
Max/Victor
TRUST Max trusts Victor because he seems polite and non-threatening and is dating his daughter.
DISTRUST Victor’s allegiance is to Lilith and is passive so will do anything she asks of him.
TWIST 2 (it just got more dangerous)
Direction: Max thinks he sees someone with a gun in his house.
Twist: He shoots into the darkness and narrowly misses Celine.
Life Threatening 4
Now Max thinks he is being taunted by Satan.
TURNING POINT
Max’s wife dies of apparently natural causes.
Life Threatening 5
Max is now more vulnerable. His daughter offers to move in with him to keep him company.
Mystery Why is Lilith wanting to get close to her father?
Covert Clue – Background that later becomes foreground – Lilith admits to being part of the con job
Mystery 3: Why is Maxim waking up to see the shadow of a figure claiming to be a dead poet?
Life Threatening 7
Now she has more control over the house and his mental state.
Villain’s Plan 3
She starts planting various devices around the house to scare Max.
Life Threatening 8
Max thinks he is going crazy but doesn’t know who to turn to.
Mystery 4: How did the fire start when the Shaman was trying to quell the spirit?
Mystery: Why are strange events happening to Max?
TWIST 3 (lost their resources)
Direction: Max wants to pull his money out of Bitcoin.
Twist: Bitcoin crashes
Life Threatening 9
Max attempts suicide.
TWIST 4 (A lie is uncovered)
Direction: Lilith feels responsible for her father’s demise and feels guilty.
Overt Clue/Twist: Lilith confesses to her involvement with the cons and setups.
Intrigue: What is causing the mysterious events to occur?
Reveal Lilith has been working with Victor all along to set up the events.
Intrigue How did the fire start at the head of the staircase.
Reveal Lilith says she didn’t do anything to start the fire. Max concludes that something paranormal did occur.
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