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Day 12 Assignments
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Mode 3 Lesson 12
Brigitte Timmerman – Outline with intrigue.
Act 1
Intriguing world -Future Dystopian
Imminent Threat – Bandits
Open Loop: What dangers will they encounter on the road?Mystery: Who are these bandits?Empathy/Distress: Irene and Jessie hide the children from bandits?Payoff: Children survive from Irene and Jessie’s actionsIrony: Irene tries to remain a pacifist. Setup: Will there be retaliation from other bandits?
Act 2
Mystery – How are they going to find Isaac’s family in a dangerous world with little information?
Open Loop: They adopt Isaac yet how will they find his family with little to go on?Mystery: Who is his family?Empathy/Distress: The search is very dangerous they go on a quest.Payoff: They meet a man at a fuel station and motel that tips them off of an agency that can help. Irony: Can you trust the fuel station attendant?Setup: Fuel Station attendant is setting them up with criminal network.
Act 3
Hidden Agenda – Agency is a criminal network trafficking children.
Open Loop: Who is the agency? Will they retaliate?Mystery: What does the agency do with the children they traffic?Empathy/Distress: Is the family in danger when they flee the agency?Payoff: Irene’s hunch pays off knowing the agency is not legit.Irony: The agency present themselves as earnest when they are deceptive.Setup: Fleeing from the agency could cause problems for the family.
Act 4
Imminent threat: Community at risk of being raided
Open Loop: Will Isaac be accepted in the community Mystery: Is there someone in the community planning a raidEmpathy/Distress: Will Isaac take resources they can’t spare. Payoff: Mira is introduced Irony: Irene always wanted a child and her sister had to die to have one. Setup: The threat Mira’s mom fears will reveal in the future.
Act 5
Irony – People from the inside planning a raid.
Open Loop: What will happen to the family as they flee the communityMystery: Who are the raiders?Empathy/Distress: Whole community raided and most killed.Payoff: Jessie’s actions fleeing to the bus saves the family Irony: Grandpa Frank creates chaos for the bandits. Setup: What will happen on the way after the raid.
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Kim’s Outline with Intrigue
What I learned from this assignment is that I find another place to make an additional mystery and setup for intrigue.
ACT ONE
Empathy/Distress: New to class, but knows Eric and his history. Brings up his flirty ways.
Irony: The reason why Natalie is with Eric is because of his flirty, charming personality.
Setup: Preparation for understanding a) his flirting with another woman is part of who he is and b) Natalie’s anger and distress over it.
Intriguing World: Where a woman marries a philandering man but tries to find a way to accept and trust him.
Secret: Missy knows a lot about Eric and his past, could she have had (or is having) a relationship with him? Why does she bring this up to Natalie?
Deception: Is Missy trying to humiliate Nat?
Secret Identity: This touches on Linda (1955 soul) and Harriet (1905 soul)
Wound: Her past lives have all been wounded in some way by Eric
Hidden Layer: Eric’s unfaithfulness that Nat knows is there on some level
Imminent Threat: Missy and her calling Eric out.
Suspicion: Eric’s possible affair with Missy…or anyone.
Mystery: Why does Natalie “drown” the Barbie?
Empathy/Distress: Eric’s concern that his ex-wife will find Natalie’s actions odd.
Setup: Danielle’s curiosity and concern grows, especially knowing Natalie has psychological issues, even though she doesn’t know what, exactly, they are.
ACT TWO
Open Loop: We now know Nat used to be Eric’s patient, but how did she become his wife?
Mystery: Is Eric seeing someone else, or is Natalie just suspicious because of the red flag Missy produced?
Empathy/Distress: The argument Natalie and Eric have, and she brings up Missy and the conversation.
Setup: She wants Eric to console her, but he is defensive instead.
Mystery: Who attacked Eric?
Empathy/Distress: Natalie is upset that Eric is hurt, and Eric is in a lot of pain and losing blood.
Payoff: We know someone does not like Eric, or is unhappy with his behavior.
Irony: It should be Natalie, since she was upset when she left the house, but…
Setup: She appears to be terribly upset and panicked about what has happened to him.
Intriguing World: Jealousy
Mystery: What has happened? Who has done it?
Secret: Natalie’s past lives, particularly Linda, have taken over.
Secret Identity: Natalie’s past lives
Wound: In a past life, Eric as Donald cheated on her with another woman.
Hidden Agenda: Revenge
Suspicion: As it stands, a lot of possibilities…Danielle could have attacked him, Missy…any number of women he has flirted with. Or…Natalie is a really good actress and she did it.
ACT THREE
Mystery: She passed the test, why does he still suspect her?
Empathy/Distress: Nat wants to see her husband, but they are busy interrogating her
Setup: t can’t possibly be Natalie, so who was it?
Mystery: Still, who did this to Eric?
Secret: The detective knows she had something to do with the attack
Secret Identity: The souls within her are protecting her.
Strange Behavior: She seems to go from one type of personality to the next
Suspicion: Something doesn’t add up.
ACT FOUR
Empathy/Distress: Natalie and her mother-in-law are at odds with one another.
Irony: Eric is a momma’s boy, perhaps?
Setup: Maybe Eric is more loyal to his mother than his wife. What might this mean?
Intriguing World: Extramarital flings.
Mystery: Eric was definitely flirting with someone while on the phone. But with who?
Secret Identity: Eric and Natalie both change their personalities. His is less dramatic.
Wound: The emotional injuries sustained through past conflicts with one another.
Strange Behavior: Eric had to have seen the attacker, why does he claim he doesn’t know who it was?
Imminent Threat: Is Eric seeing another woman?
Suspicion: Did this other woman get angry and jealous and go after Eric?
ACT FIVE
Mystery: Who called Eric? Why did that person hang up?
Empathy/Distress: It’s been a tough day.
Irony: She revisits the drowned Barbie.
Setup: We know that everything that’s happening has to do with her weird fascination with that doll and drowning it.
Intriguing World: The mother and her son
Mystery: What does Eric’s mother know? What is she trying to do?
Secret: Someone is calling Eric, and he is hiding that person from Natalie.
Wound: Natalie can’t seem to find peace.
Hidden Layer: Eric’s mother is the protector
Strange Behavior: Natalie knows her reactions aren’t normal. But Eric’s aren’t, either, does no one see that?
Imminent Threat: Natalie should feel threatened by the detective and Eric’s mother. They both seem to have it out for her.
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Lesson 12
Marcus’ Outline with Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment was how to further hone the outline for the pilot script. Mine still needs some work…
TEASER
EXT. SHACK IN THE WOODS – NIGHT: Mystery (with the next scene)
SUPER: 1141 A.D. Near Lincoln, England
YOUNG TRABEUS, 20s, a man dressed in long dark robes carrying a lantern, followed by SOLDIER, 20s, a very large man dressed in battle armor carrying a large axe, walk up to the wooden shack. Soldier kicks open the door. Young Trabeus enters and beckons Soldier to follow. Soldier looks inside and is afraid to go in.
INT. SHACK IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
One empty room with no furniture. YOUNG WINIFRED, 20s, a woman dressed in battle armor, stands before a pentagram drawn in the dirt floor with candles at each point. Hovering above the center of the pentagram is a small halo of blue smoke. Young Winifred is magically creating the halo. She stops and looks at Young Trabeus, annoyed. Young Trabeus demands the whereabouts of Cassandra. Winifred resumes her work. Young Trabeus examines the halo and informs her that it won’t do what she hopes it will. She scoffs. Insulted, he does something magical that disperses the halo. The candles go out and the shack goes dark.
<div>
Open
Loop: Who is Cassandra? What does Young Trabeus do to Young Winifred? Why
is Winifred in armor?
</div><div>Mystery:
What is Young Winifred doing? Who is Young Trabeus? Why is Soldier afraid?Empathy/Distress:
Young Trabeus messes up Young Winifred’s work. Young Winifred disrespects
Young Trabeus.Payoff:
Irony:
The big scary soldier is afraid of a woman on her knees.
Setup:
Conflict between witches and Trabeus. Intro to Cassandra. Later
flashbacks.</div><div>
</div>
INT. CASSANDRA’s APARTMENT – DAY:
LIVING ROOM
SUPER: Present Day
A small, sparsely furnished living room with no technology other than a land line phone. Odd, inexplicable items lie around the place. There are portraits lined up on the wall above a couch starting with a small medieval tapestry, to renaissance era paintings, to early photographs. All are portraits of Cassandra, Winifred, Beatrix, Endor and various fifth women. The apparent ages of the women increase in the newer pictures.
CASSANDRA, 80, looks at the tapestry. Embroidered women wearing armor. Cassandra walks down the line and looks at the last photograph. Written in white ink at its bottom: “Belgium, 1917”. In it, Cassandra, Winifred, Endor and Beatrix appear to be in their late 60s, Astra is 30. They all wear military uniforms of the British Expeditionary Forces and are armed.
Cassandra smiles.
Within the photo, the witches move. All, except Cassandra, drop their weapons and walk away in separate directions.
Cassandra sighs unhappily and turns away.
<div>
Open
Loop:
Mystery:Empathy/Distress:
The last photo makes Cassandra sad.</div><div>Payoff:
Irony:Setup:
The coven has gone their separate ways.</div>
EXT. WAR ZONE – DAY
SUPER: 1917 A.D. Near Messines, Belgium
Cassandra and her coven go up against Trabeus directly. ASTRA, 30, is now the fifth witch. There is a great deal of discord among the witches. BEATRIX argues against killing Trabeus. After argument, they agree to stick to the plan and disable him.
They fight Trabeus magically and after a vicious struggle, they place a spell on him, focused through Cassandra, that suppresses the greatest of his powers. Trabeus is gravely wounded and they leave him. Beatrix sneaks away from the others and checks on Trabeus. She says she did what she could and must go now, but she’ll be back. Shortly after she joins the other witches at a distance, the entire area where they left Trabeus explodes. Trabeus is assumed dead. Beatrix is devastated, but hides it when among the witches. Cassandra, too, is sad.
There are hard feelings among the witches as they pose for a portrait.
<div>
Open
Loop: Why is Beatrix going back for Trabeus?
</div><div>Mystery:
What did Beatrix do for Trabeus? Why is she speaking to him? Why is
Beatrix devastated? Why is Cassandra sad after destroying her enemy?Empathy/Distress:
Beatrix is sad. Trabeus is injured.Payoff:
Irony:
Beatrix just participated in Trabeus’ downfall, yet shows concern for him.</div>
·Setup: Beatrix and Cassandra both have complicated relationships with Trabeus.
INT. SUPERMARKET – DAY: Secret Identity
SUPER: Present Day
Cassandra pushes a shopping cart through the aisles. She is bored, and impatient when people get in her way. No one acknowledges her presence. She enters an empty aisle. She can’t reach a can atop a shelf and is angry and frustrated. She fails to get anyone’s attention. She performs magic (with SFX) and the can flies around over her head. Enjoying this little display of power, she makes a few other cans fly around in formation. Suddenly she loses control, and a can hits her on the head and knocks her out. Someone finally calls an ambulance.
• Open Loop: How bad is the injury?
• Mystery:
• Empathy/Distress: People ignore her. She does her magic wrong. She gets hurt.
• Irony: Only when she is badly injured and blocking the aisle do people pay attention.
• Setup: Cassandra’s magic is weakened. Cassandra’s life will get exciting.
ACT 1
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT: Secret
Hospital room with two beds. Cassandra lies in one bed; the other is empty. She is festooned with tubes, oxygen, etc. A large bandage is on her head. She awakens from unconsciousness. Bewildered by all the machinery around her, she pulls the sensor off her finger and the heart monitor flatlines. She removes other things. NURSE runs in and tries to reattach these things and struggles against Cassandra’s resistance. Nurse calls the doctor.
DOCTOR comes and informs Cassandra that while unconscious, they did extensive tests uncovering that she has end stage metastasized cancer and some other bad problems, as well. He doesn’t understand how she could even be alive. She’s very upset that they did all these tests without her consent. Doctor insists she stay in the hospital. Doctor and Nurse leave the room. Cassandra rips off all the attached stuff and leaves the hospital against medical advice.
• Open Loop: What’s keeping her alive?
• Mystery: Why didn’t she want tests done? If she’s so sick, why leave the hospital?
• Empathy/Distress: Struggle with the nurse. Disagreement with doctor.
• Payoff:
• Irony:
• Setup: More about how magic works.
INT. CASSANDRA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: Intriguing World
LIVING ROOM
Cassandra arrives home. She tries to do a magical examination on herself but can’t get it right. Frustrated, she agonizes, then reluctantly gets on the phone and calls Beatrix.
• Open Loop: What’s wrong with her magic? What might magic reveal that medicine didn’t? Why does Cassandra live like this? What are these items lying around?
• Mystery: Why doesn’t she want to speak to Beatrix?
• Empathy/Distress: Can’t get her magic to work right. Doesn’t want to call for help.
• Payoff: More magic.
• Irony:
• Setup: We’re going to meet another witch.
INT. PHYSICS LABORATORY – NIGHT: Secret Identity
Beatrix, late 70s, collects data on a device under test. Other PHYSICISTS and ENGINEERS also work feverishly on this clearly critical project: a new technology handheld weapon.
Beatrix gets Cassandra’s call. She unhappily speaks to Cassandra who she doesn’t want to hear from. She tries to get out of helping Cassandra. Cassandra begs pathetically.
Beatrix argues with her BOSS, citing a family emergency. He insists they can’t do without her. She leaves the lab, irritating Boss. She holds up her cell and tells him he can always get ahold of her. He threatens to take away her position as head of research over this. She leaves.
<div>
Open
Loop: How much trouble is Beatrix in at work?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why has Beatrix turned into a scientist? Why hasn’t Cassandra? Why does
Beatrix drop everything for Cassandra, someone she seems to dislike?Empathy/Distress:
She’s critical to the project but must walk out for her friend. Cassandra
begs her.Payoff:
We meet Beatrix.Irony:
She’s great at science, but is being called by someone for whom technology
failed.
Setup:
What is going to happen between Cassandra and Beatrix? Beatrix will use
technology, including the new weapon.</div><div>
</div>
INT. CASSANDRA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
LIVING ROOM
Cassandra opens the door and Beatrix storms in. There’s no warm greeting. Beatrix notices Cassandra’s head with minimal concern. Cassandra, gets right to it. She lays on the couch and tells Beatrix to examine her magically. Beatrix refuses. An argument ensues.
Beatrix agrees, on the condition that it’s the last time. With great effort she holds her hands over Cassandra and performs magic scan. Beatrix confirms the cancer.
Beatrix also discovers something else. Remnants of the spell they had cast on Trabeus are there, indicating that Trabeus lives! This spell connects them to Trabeus in a magical way. Beatrix quickly suppresses momentary joy. Cassandra is overtly happy because now she has renewed purpose in life. Kill Trabeus.
The spell itself has weakened in proportion to Cassandra’s weakening condition. Cassandra and Beatrix argue bitterly over what to do about Trabeus. Cassandra: kill – she admits to holding a grudge about something unspecific and seeks revenge. Beatrix: leave him alone. Either way, the old spell connects Cassandra with Trabeus. Cassandra entreats Beatrix to help her find Trabeus.
Beatrix, distracted, leaves the apartment without another word.
<div>
Open
Loop: Beatrix and Cassandra are each happy that Trabeus lives, but why?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why doesn’t Beatrix want to perform magic? Where has Trabeus been all
these years? How did he survive the explosion in 1917?Empathy/Distress:
Beatrix is angry with Cassandra. They argue bitterly. Cassandra’s
important spell is fading away. Her magic is fading. Her life is ending.Payoff:
Beatrix and Cassandra have a tense relationship. Cassandra’s life is no
longer boring and meaningless.Irony:
Beatrix doesn’t want to use magic, but it shows her something that makes
her happy.
Setup:
Beatrix wants to find Trabeus for her own reasons.</div>
ACT 2
EXT. TRABEUS’ NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY: Hidden Layer
An old suburban neighborhood with tall old trees along the street.
TRABEUS, 70s, distinguished, well-dressed, smiling and pleasant, walks along the sidewalk. Everyone he passes happily says hello to him, calling him “Mr. Belmondo”. He helps somebody do something. He covertly uses magic to help do it. MARIUS, 40s, a very large man, comes up behind Trabeus. The person Trabeus helps sees Marius and fearfully hurries away. Trabeus, startled, turns to see Marius. Trabeus is annoyed and orders Marius to go home. Marius is sad.
Trabeus is accosted by three MUGGERS, young men. He tries to reason with them. They close in. Some NEIGHBORS see what’s happening and start to rally around Trabeus. Muggers get nervous but don’t run; they pull out knives and adopt fighting stances. Trabeus tells everyone to stay calm and asks Muggers to just leave, or else. Marius returns. Muggers get nervous.
Sports car pulls up. ANTONIO, 30, well-dressed good-looking man, gets out and joins Trabeus. Antonio approaches Muggers, they back off. They recognize him. He tells them to get lost and they run off. Neighbors look at Antonio with anger and fear. They disperse.
Trabeus becomes angry. He confronts Antonio, a gangster. Trabeus’ deal with the gang is they stay out of his neighborhood. Especially Antonio! Antonio tells him he hasn’t been answering his burner phone and Carlos, the gang leader sent him to get Trabeus. Trabeus tells him he’ll get there on his own. Antonio reluctantly leaves.
Trabeus pulls out the burner phone. It won’t work. He hands it to Marius who tells him the battery is dead. Another phone rings, Trabeus pulls it out and says he’ll be right there.
• Open Loop: Who is Antonio to Trabeus?
• Mystery: How did Trabeus get a deal with the local gang to stay away? Who called Trabeus? Trabeus drops everything to respond to the phone call – why?
• Empathy/Distress: Kindly old man mugged.
• Payoff:
• Irony: A gangster shows up to keep the peace.
• Setup: Who is Antonio?
INT. US MARSHAL’S OFFICES – DAY: Secret Identity
Trabeus’ witness protection CASE OFFICER is very friendly with Trabeus. She informs him that she’s being transferred for a promotion. The REPLACEMENT CASE OFFICER is an asshole who asks detailed questions about Marius. His computer screen shows a file on Marius with arrest pictures. Marius is known to the criminals that Trabeus had testified against. Trabeus defends Marius and threatens to leave the program, despite the dangerous criminals who are hunting him. Replacement Case Officer immediately lets him go, despite vehement objections from Case Officer.
<div>Open Loop: Are Trabeus and Marius in danger from criminals from their past? Do their new criminal associates know about the old ones?
</div><div>Mystery: Who did Trabeus
testify against before? Why would he be involved with criminals in his new
life? Is Trabeus a nice guy or a recidivate criminal?Empathy/Distress: New Case
Officer is a hard ass.Payoff: Trabeus is in
witsec.
Irony: Trabeus is happy for
Case Officer but unhappy that she’s leaving. He has treated Marius
disdainfully, yet gives up witsec for him. Trabeus associates with Marius,
who knows the people Trabeus ratted on.
Setup:</div><div>
Mystery: Who did Trabeus
testify against before? Why would he be involved with criminals in his new
life? Is Trabeus a nice guy or a recidivate criminal?Empathy/Distress: New Case
Officer is a hard ass.Payoff: Trabeus is in
witsec.Irony: Trabeus is happy for
Case Officer but unhappy that she’s leaving. He has treated Marius
disdainfully, yet gives up witsec for him. Trabeus associates with Marius,
who knows the people Trabeus ratted on.Setup:
</div>
INT. TRABEUS’ CAR – DAY: Wound
Trabeus gets in and tells Marius what happened. Marius drives. He is unhappy that Trabeus didn’t discuss it with him first. Trabeus ignores him. Marius pulls the car over. Marius complains that Trabeus never listens to him. Trabeus reminds Marius what will happen (unspecified) if he doesn’t obey. Trabeus orders him to go to the gangster’s house. Marius expresses disapproval about working for the gangster. Trabeus ignores him. Marius drives, steaming.
<div>
Open
Loop: Why does Trabeus treat Marius so poorly? What does Trabeus hold over
Marius? What makes Marius so valuable to Trabeus?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why does Trabeus work for gangsters?Empathy/Distress:
Trabeus is dismissive of Marius and doesn’t show any respect.Payoff:
Irony:
Marius is unhappy that Trabeus left witsec even though he’s not in it. He
worries about Trabeus even though Trabeus disrespects him.Setup:
Marius will eventually betray Trabeus.</div>
INT. GANG HEADQUARTERS – DAY:
A living room in a lower-class house. CARLOS, late 30s, the gang leader, speaks disrespectfully to Trabeus, angering Marius. Trabeus does independent jobs for Carlos. Carlos, seated, is flanked by Antonio and ARCANGELO, 30, young man, who stand. Other GANGSTERS sit around the room.
Marius steps forward and insists that Carlos show respect. Gangsters quickly stand up and move towards Marius, drawing weapons. Marius stands menacingly, bares his teeth and breathes heavily. This makes Gangsters nervous. Trabeus calmly orders Marius to go wait in the car. Marius stares at Gangsters’ necks. Trabeus tells him again. Marius leaves.
Trabeus sternly orders Gangsters to put away their weapons. They look at Carlos. Antonio tells them to stand down. Half of them do. Carlos nods and the rest back off. He warns Trabeus not to order his men around. He gives Trabeus an important assignment: capture and get information from a rival gang member. By whatever means necessary. It can’t be traced back to the gang.
<div>
Open
Loop: What’s up with Marius and the teeth?
</div><div>Mystery:
What makes Trabeus the kind of expert who Carlos calls in?Empathy/Distress:
Trabeus is disrespected. Trabeus throws Marius out.Payoff:
Irony:
Trabeus mistreats Marius, yet Marius defends Trabeus.
Setup:
Antonio will try to take over the gang. Marius is a vampire.</div>
INT. CASSANDRA’S APARTMENT – DAY:
LIVING ROOM
Cassandra desperately wants to kill Trabeus while he’s still weak and she’s still alive. Using her magical connection to him, she does a locating spell. She does it wrong, inadvertently interfering with the locating spell Trabeus is using.
<div>
Open
Loop: How will Cassandra find Trabeus? If she can’t do magic properly, how
will she fight him?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why does she hate Trabeus so much?Empathy/Distress:
Can’t do magic properly. Interferes with Trabeus’ magic.Payoff:
Irony:
Trabeus does his locating spell right, but it looked like he messed it up.Setup:
Cassandra’s incorrectly cast spell will cause Trabeus’ spell to go wrong.</div><div>
</div>
INT. TRABEUS’ HOUSE – DAY: Intriguing World
LIVING ROOM
A warm and cozy sitting room with Victorian style décor.
Marius, Trabeus’ magic apprentice, asks to cast the location spell to find the rival gangster. He can’t get it right. Trabeus loses patience with Marius and belittles him – it’s a simple spell.
Trabeus, feeling particularly strong, does it himself. He can tell something is going wrong as he casts it but won’t let Marius help. Marius insists that Trabeus has located the wrong man, angering Trabeus. Trabeus intimidates Marius with magic that causes him to lose control of himself and bare his teeth. Then Trabeus stops the magic. Marius once again backs off, brooding.
<div>
Open
Loop: How much magic is Marius capable of? How competent is Trabeus? What
is this spell Trabeus has on Marius? Why does Trabeus mess up an easy
spell? Why is Trabeus so stubborn?
</div><div>Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Trabeus is mean to Marius. He won’t listen to Marius.Payoff:
Trabeus’ spell goes wrong.Irony:
Trabeus is the master but screws up his spell. Marius, the apprentice,
recognizes the problem.Setup:
Trabeus will find the wrong man. Marius is a vampire.</div>
ACT 3
INT. CASSANDRA’S APARTMENT – DAY: Wound
OFFICE
A small spartan bedroom. An old dusty computer sits on a desk. Cassandra tries to find Trabeus on the internet, but gets nowhere. She’s frustrated. She angrily starts to make the computer fly, then touches the bandage on her head and lets the computer down. She smashes the computer. She calls Beatrix.
<div>
Open
Loop: Will Beatrix come?
</div><div>Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Cassandra can’t find Trabeus. She’s no good with technology.Payoff:
Irony:
She’s no good with technology and her magic isn’t working right.Setup:
Cassandra’s lack of tech competence will work against her.</div>
INT. TRABEUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT: Secret Identity
BASEMENT
An unfinished basement with a drain in the floor. A metal chair is attached to a pole. VICTIM, 30s, man, is tied to the chair. Trabeus tortures the man physically, causing Marius to wince. Trabeus then attempts to extract information magically. Everything fails. Marius asks to try. They argue – Trabeus doesn’t think Marius is strong enough. Marius insists and Trabeus gives in. Marius uses magic. Trabeus sees Marius’ competency, but hides it.
Marius tells Trabeus that this is the wrong man and he knows nothing. They argue intensely, Trabeus loses his temper.
Trabeus lifts a spell he has on Marius that quells his vampire bloodlust. Marius uncontrollably drinks the man’s blood, killing him. Marius is furious with Trabeus for allowing him to do such a thing when he’d promised to prevent it. Marius starts to come at Trabeus, but stops. He fears Trabeus.
Trabeus quickly reestablishes the spell. Marius remarks that it took him three days to put that spell on the first time. Trabeus is getting stronger. Marius reminds him that he promised to remove Marius’ vampirism permanently when his strength returned. Trabeus says nothing.
<div>
Open
Loop: How strong is Trabeus’ magic and how much stronger will it get? What
will Trabeus do about Marius’ vampirism? Then what?
</div><div>Mystery:
What’s Marius’ story? Why does he hate violence?Empathy/Distress:
Marius hates violence. Trabeus seems jealous of how well Marius performs
magic.Payoff:
Marius is a vampire. This is what Trabeus holds over him.Irony:
Marius hates torture, but asks to try.
Setup:
Marius will betray Trabeus.</div><div>
</div>
ACT 4
INT. GANG HEADQUARTERS – DAY: Conspiracy
Carlos is furious about Trabeus’ failure to get the information. Trabeus tells him a better way to do what the information would have helped him with. Carlos is appeased but still angry with Trabeus and reduces his payment by half.
Trabeus, unhappily leaves the house. Marius stays behind to use the bathroom.
Marius discusses with Carlos joining the gang. Marius claims he brings many skills to the table and feels Trabeus under uses him. Carlos says he’ll get back to Marius. Meantime, it’s just between them.
Marius privately prays that his own magic is now strong enough to keep his vampirism suppressed without Trabeus’ help.
<div>
Open
Loop: What will happen if Marius leaves Trabeus? How will he get rid of
his vampirism? Will Carlos take on Marius? Can he afford to anger Trabeus
by doing so?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why did Marius believe Trabeus could remove his vampirism?Empathy/Distress:
Trabeus loses half his pay. Carlos doesn’t immediately take Marius on.
Payoff:
Marius betrays Trabeus.Irony:
Marius stayed with Trabeus waiting for his magic to return so he could
save Marius from vampirism, but now that Trabeus might be able to, he
betrays him.Setup:
</div>
INT. TRABEUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT:
LIVING ROOM
Trabeus offers to teach Marius a new spell. Marius sees this as reconciliation and is happy. The spell has to do with why Trabeus’ strength is improving by the day. He can’t perform it on himself.
Marius performs the spell which reveals that the long-term suppression spell from Cassandra is weakening. Trabeus can now feel the presence of Cassandra, wherever she is. She can feel his presence as well.
Trabeus then determines that Cassandra’s spell is to blame for his failure to find the right guy. He orders Marius to find Beatrix. Using only the internet. Marius questions this, why Beatrix when Cassandra is the head of the coven?
Trabeus tells Marius that Beatrix is more moderate that Cassandra and may help them. Trabeus can’t try to magically connect with Beatrix without alerting Cassandra to his whereabouts. Trabeus knows Beatrix – she will search for him on the internet. He orders Marius to lay some clues for Beatrix on the internet – something Trabeus is not capable of doing – that will lead her to Trabeus.
Trabeus wants to find Beatrix before Cassandra finds him. Cassandra and her coven have repeatedly foiled his attempts to rid the world of injustice. He senses her weakness and feels the best course of action is to avoid her at all cost – until she dies – rather than a potentially costly confrontation.
But with this new threat, he will have to accelerate other plans.
<div>
Open
Loop: How does Trabeus think that consorting with gangsters will help him
rid the world of injustice?
</div><div>Mystery:
Why doesn’t Trabeus want Cassandra to know where he is? Even in her
weakened state, he fears her enough to change accelerate his plans – why?Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Trabeus teaches Marius magic, not knowing about Marius’ betrayal.Setup:
Trabeus and Beatrix had a secret affair in the past. They are still in
love.</div>
INT. BEATRIX’S OFFICE – DAY:
Beatrix speaks to Cassandra on the phone. Cassandra has sensed the murder Trabeus caused and eagerly informs Beatrix. Beatrix is disturbed by this. She tells Cassandra she doesn’t want to get involved in this conflict with Trabeus. If Trabeus hasn’t caused trouble in a hundred years, he’s no longer a threat.
Nevertheless, Beatrix has her first clue to find Trabeus (the murder made local news). She searches for smaller towns where there was recently a murder. Many results come in, frustrating her.
Boss catches her doing something not work-related on her computer.
<div>
Open
Loop: Can Beatrix find Trabeus? Why is iso urgent to her? Is Beatrix’s physics
career in danger?</div><div>Mystery:
Why does Cassandra want to convince Beatrix of how evil Trabeus really is?
Empathy/Distress:
Beatrix doesn’t like hearing that Trabeus is killing people.Payoff:
Irony:
Beatrix tells Cassandra she won’t look for Trabeus, then does it. Beatrix
hates that Trabeus murdered someone, but it will help her find him.Setup:
Beatrix is being sucked into involvement with Cassandra again.</div>
INT. TRABEUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT: Deception
OFFICE
Marius sits at a modern computer table and works with a first-class computer set up. He works diligently, but can’t find what he wants. He tries casting a spell on the computer, then resumes typing.
Marius, works for hours and doesn’t find what he’s looking for. He casts another spell on the computer. He types briefly and a photo of Beatrix pops onto the screen.
He opens a dialog window. In it, he greets Beatrix, posing as “Mr. Belmondo”.
<div>
Open
Loop: will Beatrix believe she’s messaging with Trabeus?
</div><div>Mystery:
Marius is extremely proficient with his computer.Empathy/Distress:
Can’t find Beatrix on the internet easily.Payoff:
A hint about Marius’ next betrayal of Trabeus.Irony:
Marius, proficient with the computer, must still resort to magic.Setup:
Posing as Trabeus, Marius will try to capture Beatrix and ransom her to
Trabeus.</div><div>
</div>
INT. BEATRIX’S OFFICE – DAY: Deception
A dialog window pops open on Beatrix’s screen. She is being contacted by a Mr. Belmondo. “Mr. Belmondo” implies that he’s Trabeus and reveals information that only Trabeus could know. Beatrix is very excited. Mr. Belmondo proposes a live meeting in a hotel in a town several hours away.
Beatrix goes to Boss to beg for leave for a few days. Boss threatens to fire her. She goes home anyway, in tears.
<div>
Open
Loop: What will happen in the hotel? What will happen at work?</div><div>Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
She has to beg for leave.Payoff:
Irony:
She is so excited at the idea of meeting with Trabeus that she will sacrifice
her career in physics.Setup:
She’s not going to meet Trabeus. We’re going to find out what Marius wants
to do with her.</div>
INT. BEATRIX’S APARTMENT – DAY:
BEDROOM
Nice comfortable bedroom. Beatrix feverishly packs a bag.
Cassandra calls Beatrix to see how far she’s gotten. Beatrix tells her she’s been unsuccessful and will let her know as soon as she finds anything. Cassandra insists she hurry, angering Beatrix.
Cassandra wants her help contacting the rest of the coven. She wants help bringing them back together to once fight Trabeus – finally, with the possibility of completely defeating him.
Beatrix hangs up on Cassandra.
Beatrix gets in her car and drives away.
<div>
Open
Loop:
</div><div>Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Cassandra can’t get any commitment from Beatrix.Payoff:
Irony:
Beatrix thinks she’s found Trabeus and is going to help him.Setup:
We’ll meet the rest of the coven.</div><div>
</div>
ACT 5
INT. TRABEUS’ HOUSE – DAY: Hidden Agenda
OFFICE
Trabeus pops his head in and informs Marius he’s going out. Trabeus is dressed casually but elegantly. Marius insists that he should drive, but Trabeus orders him to keep working. Marius’ job is to protect Trabeus and wants to know where he’s going. Trabeus tells Marius he’s fine on his own and that Marius is going nowhere until he finds Beatrix.
<div>
Open
Loop: Where’s Trabeus going?
</div><div>Mystery:
</div><div>
Empathy/Distress:
Marius once again dissed by Trabeus.</div><div>
Payoff:
</div><div>
Irony:
</div><div>
Setup:
</div><div>
</div>
INT. GANG HEADQUARTERS – DAY: Intriguing World.
BACK YARD
There is a large grill where Carlos cooks meat. There are tubs filled with ice and beer. GANGSTERS and their GIRLFRIENDS party. Trabeus, clearly unexpected, is confronted by two GANG MEMBERS. Carlos sees Trabeus and calls them off. He waves Trabeus over.
Antonio quickly approaches and hands Trabeus a cold one. Carlos fixes a hamburger for Trabeus and Trabeus goes off with Antonio to a picnic bench to eat. He privately informs Antonio that plans have been moved up and he should be ready to take over the gang, as planned. Today. Antonio thinks he needs more time – he’s not on solid enough ground yet. Trabeus tells him to be ready.
Trabeus turns and looks at Carlos. Trabeus magically focusses on Carlos. No one else can sense the magic – except for Arcangelo. Arcangelo doesn’t know what he’s seeing but watches intently.
Carlos clutches his head and falls to the ground. An ambulance is called, but he is dead.
Antonio takes charge and most of the gang goes along, informally accepting him as the new leader – for now.
The barbecue breaks up and Girlfriends and most Gangsters leave. Antonio calls a meeting of the leadership in the house. Everyone goes inside including Trabeus.
Arcangelo insists that Trabeus leave. Antonio says he can stay. Several Gangsters back Arcangelo. A fight between Arcangelo and Antonio erupts.
Trabeus tries to help Antonio with magic, but his magic won’t work on Arcangelo, who can actually see it. Arcangelo punches Antonio. There is magic in the punch. Antonio drops to the floor, dead. Arcangelo stares at his fist. Gangsters are amazed.
Arcangelo takes over. There is a brief fight between some of Antonio’s backers and Arcangelo’s men, who prevail.
Arcangelo faces off with Trabeus and pulls out a gun. Trabeus surrounds himself with a magical aura which he knows Arcangelo will sense. Arcangelo is not intimidated. He aims the gun at Trabeus’ forehead and cocks the trigger.
<div>
Open
Loop: What will Arcangelo do? What will Trabeus do? Will Arcangelo learn
about magic and how to use it?
</div><div>Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Trabeus plan failed and his candidate failed to take over the gang.Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
Arcangelo will learn more magic.</div>
-
Phyllis’ Outline with Intrigue
I learned from this assignment that identifying the main intrigue and the sub-intrigue made me much more confident about my outline.
FOOL’S ERRAND
Outline
TEASER
EXT. SONOMA COUNTY, CA – RUSTIC HOUSE – DAY – Imminent Threat
A rugged retired fireman and his brother are hosing down his house to save it from a wildfire raging miles away. A pickup filled with personal belongings comes up. Their neighbor tries to convince them to evacuate, but it’s not mandatory. The two men and their wives refuse to leave.
· E/D: Rugged man is trying to save his house from a wildfire.
· OL: Will the house burn down?
· OL: What will happen to the people if the wildfire reaches their house?
· Irony: The Rugged Man is a retired firefighter who should know how dangerous it is to be in the path of a wildfire.
· Setup: The outcome for these people is tenuous.
INT./EXT. RUSTIC HOUSE – EVENING – Imminent Threat
The four adults are eating dinner when they get the alert that the fire won’t break through to their area. Relief lightens the mood. They don’t notice that, up against the window, a large reptilian eye is peering in! A few moments later, the door is battered down, splintering in half. OFF the startled, terrified looks of the four adults.
· E/D: a creature is outside the window!
· Irony: the people are in danger, but not from a wildfire.
· OL: what is the fate of the people?
· Setup: Duncan will be investigating this case, first alone and then with Sasha.
ACT 1
EXT. EPA HEADQUARTERS (ESTABLISHING) – DAY
Marble columns and towering arched entryways adorn the headquarters of the Environmental Protection Agency, Washington, D.C.
INT. EPA CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION DIVISION – CONTINUOUS – Intriguing World
A collegial atmosphere, with people floating from one cubicle to another, or talking by the coffee machine. Not SASHA LAMBERT. She’s alone in her cubicle, wearing an over-the-ear headset, watching a press conference on her laptop. Special agent JONAH VARICK, in his EPA jacket, comes up to her, taps her on the shoulder. Without turning, puts up her finger—one sec. We PUSH IN on the laptop screen showing Price Petroleum CEO DELIA PRICE declaring that the charges are unfounded and they will fight in court. Press conference over, Sasha turns her attention to Varick. The boss wants to see her. As she leaves, Varick mutters under-his-breath: fucking teacher’s pet.
· Mystery: Why is Sasha so interested in Delia’s press conference?
· Mystery: What did Price Petroleum do to incur the charges Delia is dismissing?
· Mystery: Why is Sasha considered the teacher’s pet?
· E/D: Varick is jealous of Sasha.
· OL: Is Sasha always alone in the midst of this collegial office?
· Setup: Sasha is a superstar in the CID.
EXT. PRICE PETROLEUM BUILDING – CONTINUOUS – Conspiracy
As Delia walks away from the microphones, she tells her lawyer, TOM SULLIVAN, to open up a backchannel with the DOJ.
· Mystery: Has Delia dealt with a backchannel to the DOJ before, over different charges?
· Open Loop: What will Delia accomplish with this backchannel?
· Setup: Delia will screw over Sasha.
INT. EPA SPECIAL AGENT IN CHARGE OFFICE – DAY – Intriguing World
Her boss (and mentor) AUDREY MANNING is expressing wonder at how Sasha got Price on a criminal indictment. She confirms Sasha will receive a pay bump and, best of all, an office. Manning asks her how she’s going to celebrate. And please, take time to savor this career-making moment.
· Mystery: was Sasha just good in getting the indictment, or did she cross a line?
· OL: Will Sasha continue working so hard and neglect her social life?
· E/D: Sasha never takes time to celebrate her victories, she just keeps working.
· Payoff: Sasha is a superstar in the CID.
· Setup: Questions will surface about Sasha’s integrity regarding this breakthrough indictment.
EXT. PRIVATE GOLF COURSE – TEEING AREA – DAY – Intriguing World
DUNCAN PRICE, who is sponsoring this golfing event to raise funds to clean up oil spills, charms a wealthy lobbyist into giving more for the cause. The lobbyist asks if Duncan can get him tickets to the next Superbowl and he says he doesn’t do that anymore. He greets his team for today’s tournament—a Senator, a media mogul, and the Chairman of the Federal Reserve. He goes first, teeing off with a magnificent drive. Then he challenges the other players to double their contributions if his team wins the charity tournament.
· Mystery: Why doesn’t he get donors Superbowl tickets anymore?
· Setup: Duncan’s high-level relationships will be crucial to his investigations.
INT. EPA CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION DIVISION – EARLY EVENING – Wound
Sasha asks ELI BARNES, the lawyer, and MADDY REESE, the forensics expert she has been working with closely to join her for a celebratory drink for their case. Reese has to get home to her kids, Barnes has plans. Some other day, maybe. She then asks other colleagues to join her and her friends (she’s lying about the friends), but they all have excuses.
· Mystery: Why is Sasha having so much trouble getting colleagues to celebrate with her?
· OL: What is Sasha going to do when everyone turns her down?
· E/D: Sasha has no one to celebrate with.
· Setup: Her wound that comes from her father’s abandonment, that leads to her flaw of keeping people at arms-length.
INT. WASHINGTON D.C. BAR – NIGHT – Deception
Sasha is having a drink on her own. She toasts: “well, Dad, I did it. Here’s to you, wherever the fuck you are.” She hears a birthday celebration at one of the tables. It’s her colleagues from work, including Barnes, and the guest of honor is Varick. After a beat, she calls up Zack, her “friend with benefits” and tells him to meet her at her place.
· Mystery: Why is Sasha toasting her Dad?
· Mystery: Why doesn’t Sasha know where he is?
· OL: Where is Sasha’s father?
· E/D: Sasha is left out of her colleague’s birthday celebration.
· Irony: Sasha wanted to celebrate and she was left out of the real celebration happening that night.
· Setup: Sasha’s “friends with benefits” arrangement with Zack.
EXT. DUNCAN’S MANSION (ESTABLISHING) – NIGHT
A magnificent Tudor mansion with pool and tennis court.
INT. DUNCAN’S UNDERGROUND SHOOTING RANGE – NIGHT – Secret Identity
Duncan, armed with a pistol, finishes shooting at the target. Mediocre results. He calls COLLINS, his private investigator, to have him look into the suspicious deaths in Sonoma that we saw in the Teaser. After the call, Collins calls someone else to report the conversation.
· Mystery: Why does Duncan need or want a gun?
· Payoff: Duncan is interested in the deadly event in the Teaser.
· E/D: Collins is betraying Duncan.
· OL: Who is Collins reporting to?
INT. SASHA’S APARTMENT – LIVING AREA – NIGHT – Hidden Layer
Neat, orderly, with tasteful furniture that looks expensive. ZACK REILAND, an up-and-coming lawyer at the Department of Justice (DOJ), is the one prosecuting the indictment—that’s how they met. Their physical chemistry is palpable. Zack’s brought a bottle of champagne and made reservations at a swanky late-night hot spot to celebrate. Sasha doesn’t feel like going out. And when Zack tries to get a real conversation going, Sasha seduces him instead. They have dynamite sex.
· E/D: Sasha ignores Zack’s romantic gestures of champagne and reservations, and his wanting more than small talk.
· OL: Will Sasha’s entanglement with Zack affect the indictment?
· Mystery: Why does Sasha only want a “friend with benefits”?
INT. SASHA’S BEDROOM – EARLY MORNING – Hidden Layer
Zack is still sleeping. Sasha picks up his clothes scattered over the room, puts them on a nearby chair. She rouses him gently. He awakens, wants her back in bed. She nearly succumbs, but then pulls back. Zack protests that it’s the weekend. Doesn’t matter, Sasha has to get to the gym and run errands. He offers to come with, but Sasha says that’s not what they’re about. Zack doesn’t move. Starts a fight, with the subtext that he is hurt that she never wants to spend time with him outside her apartment. Sasha strips off the covers, shoves his clothes at him, and kicks him out of the bedroom. A beat later, we hear the front door slam shut.
· E/D: Sasha is ignoring Zack’s feelings.
· Mystery: Why is Sasha so adamant about rejecting Zack’s efforts to get closer?
· OL: What will happen to Sasha and Zack next?
· Setup: Zack will betray Sasha.
INT. DUNCAN’S HOME OFFICE – A FEW DAYS LATER – Secret
Collins is delivering a standard report. Duncan’s frustrated. Collins presses for more details, including a subtle inquiry about the possibility some kind of animal, or unknown creature, is involved. Now Duncan knows he’s working for his sister, and fires Collins.
· E/D: Duncan is not getting his money’s worth from Collins.
· E/D: Collins is betraying Duncan to his sister.
· Mystery: Why is Collins probing about animals and creatures?
· Irony: Collins is right—Duncan is interested in finding creatures.
· Setup: Delia knows something about Duncan’s obsession with creatures.
INT. DUNCAN’S LAIR – SHORT TIME LATER – Secret Identity
A command center with screens. A training area nearby. Duncan is staring at a wall covered in corkboard, with articles and photos of suspicious deaths, as well as renderings of what could be creatures pinned to it. He calls his sister to complain about Collins and we realize it’s Delia. She’s in a great mood…
· Mystery: What is Duncan doing with the sophisticated technology, a training area, and info about suspicious deaths?
· OL: How will he use all of the above going forward?
· Irony: Duncan’s sister turns out to be Delia.
INT. EPA CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION DIVISION – DAY – Conspiracy
Sasha is preparing to go out into the field, strapping on her weapon and putting on her EPA jacket. Manning intercepts her, carrying infuriating news: Price Petroleum has reached a settlement with the DOJ. Sasha calls Zack, and it goes straight to voicemail. Texts him, no response.
· E/D: Sasha’s career-making indictment is history.
· Mystery: How did the criminal indictment get converted into a settlement?
· OL: is Delia involved?
· OL: What will happen with Sasha’s promotion and office?
· OL: Will Sasha get in any trouble because of her relationship with Zack?
INT. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE – ZACK’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS – Conspiracy
Zack is looking at his phone with Sasha’s text. He deletes Sasha from his contacts, blocks her number.
· OL: Will Zack’s betrayal succeed?
· Payoff: Zack paid back Sasha for rejecting him after he fell for her.
ACT 2
EXT. ZACK’S APARTMENT BUILDING – NIGHT – Conspiracy
Sasha is across the street. A stakeout. As Zack approaches, she races up to him, asking loudly how Delia got to him. Is he doing it for money, maybe a lobbyist position for oil and gas? Embarrassed, Zack ushers her inside.
· Mystery: Did Zack get anything in exchange for granting a settlement?
· E/D: Sasha didn’t deserve to lose the indictment to a backroom deal.
· Irony: For the first time, Zack has the upper hand.
INT. ZACK’S APARTMENT – MOMENTS LATER – Hidden Layer
Sasha starts urging Zack to reconsider, all the while trying to keep her anger in check. Does he realize what this prosecution could mean to holding fossil fuel companies accountable for their actions? Zack tells her the problem is on her end—the evidence just wasn’t strong enough. Hell hath no fury like Sasha when it comes to how she does her job protecting the environment. The subtext of the fight is that she didn’t let him get close.
· Mystery: What is the deeper, emotional reason that Zack betrayed Sasha?
· E/D: Zack accusing Sasha of not providing strong enough evidence hits her sense of self-worth hard.
· OL: is this the end for Zack and Sasha?
· Irony: Sasha’s flaw of not letting people get close led to her downfall.
INT. EPA – MANNING’S OFFICE – NEXT DAY – Strange Behavior
Sasha asks Manning for a minute. She thinks Delia and Zack were colluding and if she brings it to light, the settlement will be voided. And, if she’s lucky, they’ll both face blowback. Manning warns her that accusing Delia and Zack of collusion will be tough to prove. She should take the win and move on.
· OL: Will Sasha take her mentor’s advice?
· OL: Can Sasha prove that Delia and Zack are colluding?
· Setup: Sasha is sowing the seeds of her own downfall.
INT. EPA – BARNES’ OFFICE – SHORT TIME LATER – Conspiracy
Sasha is with Barnes, the lawyer who has been on the Price case with her. She appeals to his disappointment and insists that Delia had to have gotten to Zack somehow. It’s a long shot, but maybe Zack recently received a large deposit. Even if it’s not immediately traceable to Delia, it will be a start. Barnes agrees to subpoena Zack’s bank records.
· OL: What will happen when Manning finds out Sasha’s going ahead trying to prove collusion, behind her back?
· OL: What will Sasha find in the bank records?
· Irony: Sasha is getting deeper into trouble with every step.
INT. DUNCAN’S MANSION – LAIR – DAY – Secret Identity
The screens show Google Earth-type details of the Sonoma wildfire area. Duncan is on the phone with the Secretary of the Interior, asking for permission to go to the wildfire zone, now that it’s 50% contained. As he talks, he magnifies the images and we see an aerial view of the rustic house from the Teaser. Duncan makes a final, humorous appeal but we don’t hear the answer.
· Mystery: What caused Duncan’s obsessions with suspicious deaths like the one in the Teaser?
· OL: What will happen when Duncan tries to investigate, instead of a professional?
· Irony: Duncan’s personality—his impulsiveness, openness and lack of practical skills—makes him a poor choice to investigate suspicious deaths.
· Payoff: Duncan’s personal relationships with powerful people is crucial to feeding his obsession.
EXT. RUSTIC HOUSE – NEXT DAY – Secret Identity
Duncan is chatting up the lone deputy left guarding the house, which is marked with “CRIME SCENE” yellow tape. He’s trying to get as much information as possible without giving too much away about himself. Duncan is too open, as is his style, but he does trick the deputy into revealing which neighbor found the bodies.
· Mystery: What does the deputy know?
· Irony: Duncan is terrible about keeping personal info to himself.
· OL: How will this line of questioning lead him to the creature we saw in the Teaser.
EXT./INT. MODEST HOUSE – SHORT TIME LATER – Secret Identity
Duncan presents himself to NORRIS, the man who found the victims, as an environmentalist seeking answers. He pushes hard on what condition the bodies were in, the splintered door, anything unusual. Norris becomes increasingly wary and asks exactly what does Duncan have to do with this investigation? Duncan says he’s authorized to offer money, but Norris turns him down.
· Mystery: How did the people in the Teaser die?
· Setup: The attempted bribe will get Duncan into trouble.
· OL: What do the clues—the condition of the bodies, the splintered door—tell Duncan?
EXT./INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – LATER – Secret Identity
Duncan enters, looking for the Sheriff. He’s there to help: the sheriff’s theory that somebody attacked the group with a blow torch is wrong. It’s too late to sway the Sheriff—he’s heard from Norris and is incensed that Duncan tried to bribe a witness for confidential information. He arrests Duncan for witness tampering. His mug shot is taken, he’s fingerprinted, and escorted to a jail cell.
· E/D: Duncan is misunderstood and jailed.
· Open Loops: Do the Sheriff, Norris and Deputy know more than they’re letting on?
· Payoff: Duncan’s openness and “leap before you look” method of operating lands him in hot water.
· Setup: Duncan can’t go back to investigate. He will need an investigator, and only Sasha fits the bill.
INT. CORPORATE JET – DAY – Conspiracy
Delia is en route, with her lawyer, Sullivan, to Price’s DC office from their headquarters in Houston. She has a closed dossier in her hand, labelled “Sasha Lambert.” She’s surprised to learn that Sasha’s father was responsible for that chemical dump twenty years ago that killed thousands of fish in New Jersey. This apple ran far away from the tree. Now, what do they do about her?
· E/D: Learn Sasha’s dad ruined the environment.
· Mystery: How did Delia get such old, detailed information on Sasha?
· Open Loop: What else does Delia know about Sasha and how will she use it against her?
· Open Loop: What will Delia do to Sasha to stop her from pursuing the collusion between Delia and Zack?
INT. DOJ – ZACK’S OFFICE – A FEW DAYS LATER – Conspiracy
Delia is there to sign settlement papers but also to deliver a thumb drive to Zack. It has data and photos of tankers, deliberately and expertly falsified. Zack is reluctant to deliver this info to Sasha’s boss, Manning; its farther than he wanted to go. Delia mentions the bank subpoena, Zack responds there’s nothing to find. Delia says Sasha is relentless and this is the only way to stop her from destroying the two of them.
· E/D: Delia is pushing Zack farther than he wanted to go.
· Mystery: How did Delia get the falsified information on the tankers?
· Open Loop: What will Manning do with this information—will she believe Sasha or Zack?
· Payoff: Sasha didn’t let Zack in and his hurt caused him to set in motion a chain of events that will threaten Sasha’s career.
· Setup: Sasha’s downfall.
INT. EPA – MANNING’S OFFICE – DAY – Imminent Threat
Sasha is defending herself against Manning’s accusation that Sasha buried evidence of other ships in the vicinity of Price’s tanker. The other tankers were in the same storm, meaning they could have been responsible for the oil spill, too. Other ships add credence to the argument that the spill was an accident, not a result of criminal negligence. Forensics expert Reese confirms that this evidence throws their investigative work into doubt. Sasha’s temper flares, and Manning says she’s sorry, she has no choice.
· E/D: Reese doesn’t stand up for Sasha.
· E/D: Manning doesn’t believe Sasha was framed.
· Mystery: Why doesn’t Manning believe Sasha?
· Setup: Sasha’s new journey, post EPA
INT. EPA – CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS – Wound
Sasha wants to know why Reese didn’t back her up – they’ve worked together many times. She would never do this. Reese says she doesn’t know Sasha well-enough to know what Sasha is capable of.
· E/D: Sasha’s flaw kept her from getting the support she needed from Reese.
· Payoff: Sasha is not able to let people in, so no one really knows her.
· Irony: Reese might have taken Sasha’s side if Sasha had been more open and accessible to her colleagues.
INT. EPA – SASHA’S CUBICLE – LATER – Hidden Layer
All eyes are on Sasha as she packs up a box with her sparse personal belongings while two security guards wait. Manning comes over to ask for Sasha’s badge and gun. Sasha hands them over, pushing down her anger. Then Manning asks for her phone—it’s EPA property. Sasha defiantly removes the SIM card and smashes the phone against the edge of her desk, breaking the screen. Then she hands it over.
· E/D: Sasha is framed and fired.
· OL: What will Sasha do now?
· Mystery: Why is Sasha so angry inside?
· Payoff: The resolution of Sasha going after Delia.
ACT 3
EXT. DUNCAN’S MANSION – TENNIS COURT – DAY – Hidden Agenda
Duncan’s lawyer, LUCAS FINLEY, finds Duncan hitting against a tennis ball machine, taking out his frustration over how his “investigating” went. Finley explains why pleading guilty to a lesser charge of harassment made sense. The fine wasn’t a problem for him, but the conviction will follow him. Also, Duncan is at a loss as to how he will get info without paying for it. Finley tells him to find a new private investigator. One who can resist Delia’s money.
· OL: What will Duncan do now to pursue his investigation of suspicious deaths?
· OL: What is Duncan really searching for?
· Mystery: Why is Duncan so upset with himself for failing in his attempt at investigation?
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY – Wound
Sasha is meeting with executive recruiter over lunch. The recruiter has done her homework, and tells her that Delia put out a press release regarding her firing. Bad press dominates her Google page. Her ex-boss Manning is describing Sasha as untrustworthy and defiant to anyone who shows an interest in her. She’s unemployable in the environmental field and in law enforcement. She wouldn’t be able to get a job as a night watchman, even if she wanted it.
· Mystery: Why is Manning giving her such a bad review?
· E/D: Sasha is unemployable in her field.
· Payoff: Delia takes the next step after getting Sasha fired.
· OL: What will Sasha do now?
EXT. RESTAURANT – DAY – Secret Identity
Sasha gets a call from her Mom, Trish. Sasha lies and says she’s fine, then asks what’s wrong. Is she taking her insulin? Needy mom upset she hasn’t called. Sasha works too hard.
· E/D: Sasha is the emotional caretaker of her mother.
· Irony: Angry, ambitious Sasha is caring and responsive.
· Setup: Sasha’s mother will become even needier.
INT. DUNCAN’S HOME OFFICE – DAY – Hidden Agenda
Duncan is interviewing GARRETT, a private investigator candidate. He has excellent credentials and references. Garrett insists he can only do his job if Duncan tells him what he’s really looking for in these suspicious deaths. Garrett hints at the “unexplained” nature and confides that he’s a believer, too. It’s obvious that Delia has gotten to him.
· E/D: Duncan is in danger of having his secret—that he’s pursuing creatures—come out.
· Irony: The investigator’s “belief” in creatures is designed to trap Duncan.
· Setup: Duncan is going to need an investigator Delia can’t get to.
INT. DELIA’S CORPORATE APARTMENT – EVENING – Mystery
Phone calls don’t seem to be working, and Delia is currently in DC, so Duncan pays her a visit. He orders Delia to stop interfering with his private investigators. Delia admits she has a deep list and can get to anyone Duncan is considering—but she’s just looking out for him. Is he seeing creatures, like he did ten years ago? Duncan protests that he wasn’t in his right mind back then.
· Mystery: What happened ten years ago?
· OL: Will Delia succeed in having Duncan declared incompetent?
· E/D: Delia is Duncan’s enemy.
INT. SASHA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT – Secret Identity
Sasha is on the phone with her landlord about the notice she just got that her rent is doubling. She tries to negotiate and fails. She also looks at a promotional letter advertising “consolidate your credit card payments into one easy-to-manage loan. She scans it, and picks up the phone. Instead of calling this company, a defeated Sasha calls her mother, asks if she can come home for a while.
· Mystery: Why has Sasha been depending on credit card debt?
· E/D: Sasha has to go home and live with her mother.
· Setup: Sasha is going to have to earn money soon.
EXT. NECKER ISLAND RESORT – DREAM SEQUENCE – Hidden Layer
A barrage of images tells the jumbled-up story of how Duncan lost his daughter Caitlyn at her sweet 16 party, during hurricane season, because it had to be on her actual birthday. A clip of an exuberant Duncan saving the best for last: Katy Perry is going to perform at this private party. A hurricane hits, waves crash, and the surge wipes out thatched beach houses. Duncan and Caitlyn are swept away. Duncan loses her, and, in the distance, sees the shape of a creature formed by the sea water. The creature envelops Caitlyn.
INT. DUNCAN’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – Hidden Layer
Duncan bolts upright in bed as he awakens from his nightmare.
· Mystery: What was this nightmare about?
· E/D: Duncan lost somebody close to him.
· Setup: Why Duncan believes in creatures.
INT. TRISH’S CONDO – NEW JERSEY – NEXT DAY – Secret Identity
Sasha is unpacking her clothes in her childhood bedroom while her mother stands nearby, as if overseeing the process. Trish says the EPA was too political a place for her, and maybe quitting the job was a good thing (Sasha lied about being fired). Trish starts to rearrange the clothes in Sasha’s drawers (putting sweaters together, then T-Shirts). As she does, she comments that maybe Sasha can find a less pressured job that will give her time for a relationship, too. Sasha explodes, dumping the contents of her suitcase on the bed and telling her mother to finish what she’s obviously in the middle of.
· Mystery: How did Sasha’s mother become so dependent upon her?
· E/D: Sasha is miserable at home with her mother.
ACT 4
INT. DUNCAN’S LAIR – DAY – Secret Identity
Duncan is at his control center, working on his computer. On one large screen, Zack is at a podium announcing the DOJ settlement with Price Petroleum for $2 billion (4<sup>th</sup> largest for environmental violations in EPA history). On another screen, we see several windows open to past articles detailing the investigation of Price Petroleum (which mention Sasha’s name). Duncan copies and pastes the name “Sasha Lambert” into a search engine.
· Mystery: Why is Duncan looking up Sasha?
· Setup: Duncan wants to hire Sasha to be his investigator.
INT. TRISH’S CONDO – DAY – Secret Identity
A miserable Sasha is administering insulin to her mother. Sasha is explaining that job hunting is done on line now, and she’s been sending out resumes, but no bites yet. It will take time, and she’ll probably be hearing from online recruiters any day now. Her mom doesn’t understand why Sasha can’t get a job with all these “for hire” signs all over town. It doesn’t have to be permanent.
· E/D: Sasha is miserable with her mother.
· E/D: Sasha is having trouble getting a job.
· OL: Will Sasha find a job?
INT. LOCAL SHOP-RITE – DAY – Wound
Sasha is just inside the entrance of the supermarket, holding a filled-out application form. She looks over at the checkout stand, and envisions herself (literally) working there. The Sasha behind the counter hands a receipt to a customer and turns to see her next customer. It’s Zack. He doesn’t acknowledge her. He just starts loading groceries on to the conveyer belt. Sasha is mortified. Then she hears the ring of a phone and comes out of her reverie to realize it’s hers. She answers automatically—this could be a job—and listens to Duncan’s voice introducing himself. OFF her surprise…
· E/D: Sasha having to work on a supermarket check-out line.
· OL: Is Duncan the answer to Sasha’s predicament?
INT. TRISH’S CONDO – SHORT TIME LATER – Suspicion
Sasha is excitedly explaining to Trish who Duncan is and what he does. She’s going to be his assistant, helping to fund climate scientists and supportive politicians. It’s like a dream come true. Even the transportation is fairy-tale like—a town-car takes her to a heliport where Duncan’s helicopter awaits to fly her from New Jersey to DC.
· Irony: Sasha is so happy with this job offer that she is getting along with her mother.
· OL: Is this job too good to be true?
INT. DUNCAN’S HOME OFFICE – DAY – Secret Identity
Duncan clears up Sasha’s misunderstanding, explaining that he needs an investigator who would never betray him to his sister. Sasha’s confused: what is he investigating and why would any investigator “betray” him? Duncan appears to go off on a tangent, asking if she knows about the global warming event 55 million years ago. It’s being used as a model for today. Back then, all deep-sea species went extinct, and so did a number of land species. Others adapted. And new species were spawned. These creatures have hibernated since the planet’s temperature cooled, but have now awakened with the recent concentration of greenhouse gases. And, if his theory is correct, the dead bodies of the creatures will absorb vast amounts of greenhouse gases. He’s prepared to do the killing—he just needs Sasha to track them down. But he’s trusting her to keep his true mission a secret; otherwise, Delia will claim he is delusional and seize control of his assets. Sasha is disappointed and angry. If he’s trying to make up for his family’s sins, he can’t risk his fortune by hunting these creatures. His promises of money are worthless. She storms out.
· E/D: Sasha has lost her dream job.
· OL: Are these creatures real or is Duncan delusional?
· Mystery: Why does Duncan believe in these creatures?
· Irony: Sasha’s dream job is a delusion.
· Payoff: Duncan and Sasha finally meet.
INT. DUNCAN’S LAIR – SHORT TIME LATER – Secret Identity
In the training area, Duncan is hitting a punching bag to relieve his frustration that Sasha has crippled his plan to hunt for the creatures.
· E/D: Duncan has lost his opportunity to hire an investigator Delia can’t get to.
· OL: What will Duncan do now?
INT. HELICOPTER – DAY – Secret Identity
Flying home, Sasha receives a call from her mother. Trish’s diabetes has led to severe kidney disease. She may need dialysis and has no one but Sasha to rely on. Sasha hangs up, and puts her head in her hands, overwhelmed by the events of the day.
· E/D: Sasha is more trapped as caretaker of her mother.
· OL: What is Sasha going to do now?
ACT 5
INT. TRISH’S CONDO – EVENING – Secret Identity
As Sasha is placing all of Trish’s doctor’s appointments on a calendar app, her mom says she’s so grateful Sasha moved in with her. What lucky timing, since she can’t afford to hire help on her teacher’s pension. Sasha can feel her independence slipping away and snaps at her mom, telling her she won’t be able to be her chauffeur for all these appointments.
· E/D: Sasha’s independence is slipping further and further away.
· Payoff: Sasha’s mother’s illness is trapping Sasha in her role as caretaker.
· OL: Will Sasha just acquiesce to her mother’s wishes?
EXT. SASHA’S CHEVY BOLT – NEXT DAY
Sasha’s electric car glides down a highway.
INT. CHEVY BOLT – CONTINUOUS – Secret Identity
Sasha, driving, is on the hands-free phone inquiring about the cost of part-time home care. She listens to the sales talk for a beat, then asks how much will all this tender loving care cost every month. When she hears $6000, she hangs up the phone.
· E/D: In-Home care is not an option for Sasha.
· Mystery: Where is Sasha going?
EXT. DUNCAN’S MANSION – LATER
Sasha buzzes in at the front gate, is told Duncan is not available. Sasha reminds the housekeeper she was there yesterday. Can she please wait?
INT. DUNCAN’S MANSION – PARLOR – SHORT TIME LATER – Hidden Agenda
Sasha is taking in the art work when Duncan enters. She launches in to an apology for her behavior yesterday before he can get a word out. She wants the job—if these creatures exist, she’ll find them. Duncan asserts they do exist, but it will take time, so he needs a three-year commitment from her. Sasha, reacting to Duncan’s eagerness, adds one condition: after that period, she wants him to fund a foundation for her so she can be her own boss and fight climate change directly. Duncan welcomes her to their team of two—can she start today?
· Irony: Duncan’s creatures will turn out to be real!
· OL: What will Duncan and Sasha be able to accomplish together?
· OL: How will Duncan and Sasha change each other?
INT. DUNCAN’S LAIR – MOMENTS LATER – Secret Identity
As Duncan shows Sasha the wall of suspicious deaths, she comments that there doesn’t appear to be a connection between the events. That’s not the way you do an investigative board. He responds that’s why she’s here. Meanwhile, he briefs Sasha on the recent incident. She dissuades Duncan from sending her to interview people to tease out if they saw signs of these creatures. What they need is cause of death. Duncan contacts the California Attorney General for help with a special autopsy of the bodies.
· Mystery: What happened to the people in the Sonoma house?
· Setup: Something unexplainable happened to those people.
INT. DUNCAN’S GUEST HOUSE – A FEW DAYS LATER – Secret Identity
Sasha is directing the movers bringing in her furniture while on the phone with her mom, who’s complaining about the aide. Duncan calls.
· E/D: Sasha is still caring for her needy mother.
· OL: What will Sasha’s relationship with her mother be going forward?
INT. DUNCAN’S HOME OFFICE – SHORT TIME LATER – Mystery
As crime scene photos come across Duncan’s laptop, HENRY WINSLOW, the biologist who attended the special autopsy, reports that the bodies were cooked from the inside out. Duncan notes that the interior of the house was slightly charred, but not the outside. The temperature had to have risen quickly to a humid 200 degrees to kill those people as they ate dinner. That just doesn’t happen. After Winslow leaves, Duncan says it was his creature and shows Sasha a photo of a scorch mark that looks like a claw, at least to him. Sasha tells him we all see what we look for.
· Mystery: Is Duncan right about the real cause of death?
· Payoff: Sasha doesn’t have a rational explanation for the cause of death.
· Setup: Will Duncan and Sasha discover that a creature was responsible for killing these people (as shown in the Teaser)?
-
Diana’s Outline with Intrigue
What I learned: The teaser is way better than the rest of the pilot. I need to punch up the pilot big time. I also found some plot holes that need filling. I’m leaving them for now. Trying to let that perfectionism go. Can always do more to the outline later.
Teaser
INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS INSIDE THE COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, strange behavior, hidden agenda, hidden layer
A young Dolores is cleaning the shrine of the cartel’s santeria priestess, Maya, as the Cartel’s Santeria priestess is preparing a spell to keep rival cartels away. Dolores accidentally spills ceremonial wine on the cover of the sacred Book of Spirits. Maya chastises Dolores and hands her the sacred tome, commanding her to clean it immediately. Sidebar: If the book is stolen, a person is cursed. Curse TBD. But since Maya handed the book to Dolores, she avoids the curse, as she is not stealing it.
Intriguing World: Santeria; drug cartel
Mystery: What is so special about this book?
Secret: The book is secret and sacred; priestess
casting spell to keep rival cartels away
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: spell to keep rivals away
Hidden Layer: keep cartel lord happy and stay alive
Strange Behavior: superstitious; book must be pristine;
why must it be cleaned immediately?
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will Dolores clean the book to the
satisfaction of the priestess? Will the spell work?
Mystery: What is so special about this book? Why did
the priestess get so upset when Dolores soiled it? And what is this curse?
Is it reversible?
Empathy/Distress: Priestess upset (her life depends on keeping
the drug lord happy)
Payoff: She ends up with the sacred tome and avoids the
curse
Irony: Dolores obtains a powerful, sacred tome and
avoids a curse by accident
Setup: Dolores spills wineConcept: Sacred book changes hands
INT. DRUG LAB OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – SAME: Intriguing world, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, hidden agenda, hidden layer, strange behavior, imminent threat, suspicion
Dolores’ husband, Hector, is packaging bricks of heroin in the lab. The cartel accountant is looking over the books. He calls over one of the cartel captains and points out an inventory error in Hector’s log. The captain accuses Hector of stealing heroin, when it was actually the captain who is doing the skimming and selling it to a rival cartel. Cartel captain questions Hector and accuses him of theft. Hector denies it and the captain roughs Hector up. Hector begs him to stop. The captain beats Hector to a pulp and leaves the lab, sending a powerful message to the other workers as Hector groans in pain.
Intriguing World: Drugs, cartel
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Hector’s boss is a traitor and blames the
skimming on Hector
Conspiracy: Hector’s boss is planning to take down the
Sinoloa Cartel by helping a rival cartel
Secret Identity: Hector’s boss is a mole
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Hector’s boss frames Hector
Hidden Layer: So he can keep skimming until Hector gets
caught; then he’ll move to someone else
Strange Behavior: Hector’s boss blames him for something
Hector did not do
Imminent Threat: Hector’s about to get his ass kicked
Suspicion: Account suspects theft/skimming of drugsOpen Loop: Will Hector be killed?
Mystery: Who is doing the skimming?
Empathy/Distress: Hector is malaccused and beaten.
Payoff: Boss blames Hector for his theft
Irony: The wrong person was accused
Setup: Hector’s boss steals from the cartelConcept: What happens to traitors
INT. PRIESTESS CHAMBERS – SAME: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, strange behavior, imminent threat
When Dolores returns with the cleaned book, Maya is nowhere to be found. Dolores feels a gentle pulsation from the book. Little does she know the book has now bonded with her and believes her to be the new priestess and owner of the book. Dolores rubs the book’s leather cover and admires the glyphs on the cover. Soon purple smoke emits from the book and the cover glyphs change. Dolores looks up when she hears bottles rattling and observes one of the potion bottles releasing gray smoke. Frightened, she tries to put the book on the altar, but it refuses to be set down, clinging to her like a powerful magnet. The rattling of the bottles on the altar and shelves grow louder. Dolores tries to pry the book from her hands. When she realizes the book won’t leave her hands, she rushes upstairs, instead of leaving the book on the altar as instructed.
Intriguing World: Santeria/magic
Mystery: Why does the book change owners?
Secret: Dolores doesn’t realize she is in charge of the
book now.
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: All the smoke and rattling bottles
and book clinging to Dolores
Imminent Threat: Dolores is afraid of what might happen
next and races out of the chambers
Suspicion:Open Loop: What will happen when the priestess
discovers her book is not on the altar?
Mystery: The magic of the sacred tome
Empathy/Distress: Dolores freaks out when the book
clings to her and all the smoke, etc. happen
Payoff: Maya inherits the book’s power
Irony: Priestess inadvertently handed over the power of
the book to Dolores to save her life and is now a target because she is
useless to the cartel, unless she can get it back
Setup: Priestess gives Maya the book to cleanConcept: Book of Secrets has a new owner.
INT. MEETING CHAMBER IN COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL – NIGHT: Intriguing world, deception, conspiracy, hidden agenda, hidden layer, wound, imminent threat, suspicion
The head of the cartel and his captains are seated around an ornate table. There is some conversation about shipments, the tunnel Maya is going to protect, who’s shipping what when, etc. When the drug lord inquires of any problems, one of the captains mentions Hector’s “theft.” The head of the cartel smiles calmly. Before he makes a decision, he asks each of the captains what he should do, they all say some variation of the same thing: he’s a traitor; kill him. When he gets to Hector’s boss, his boss says the theft was not that big, perhaps he should not have brought it up. He says he will deal with Hector himself. It is then when the head of the cartel knows that it is Hector’s boss who has been stealing and not Hector. The head of the cartel nods at his second in command who shoots Hector’s boss in the head, making an example of him in front of the other captains, so they remember what happens to traitors.
Intriguing World: Drug cartel
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Hector’s boss stole from the cartel
Conspiracy: He is a mole for a rival cartel
Secret Identity:
Wound: Greed
Hidden Agenda: To appear loyal
Hidden Layer: To gain power
Strange Behavior: Drug lord smiles when he hears of a
mole
Imminent Threat: Hector’s boss put himself in danger by
playing down the theft
Suspicion: Drug lord suspects one of his captains of
theftOpen Loop: Will Hector survive?
Mystery: Who is the real thief?
Empathy/Distress: Everyone in the room is on edge.
Payoff: Thief is killed.
Irony: Hector’s boss inadvertently admits to theft
Setup: Captain mentions theft.Concept: Don’t fuck with the cartel lord
INT. BEDROOM OF DOLORES AND HECTOR – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, hidden agenda, hidden behavior, strange behavior, imminent threat
Hector, covered in blood and bruises limps into the bedroom. Dolores, who has been poring over the book, relishing each page, looks up and asks, matter of factly, what happened. Hector says his boss accused him of stealing. When Dolores asks if he did it, he says of course not. When Hector inquires what Dolores is reading, she just shrugs and says it’s some old book she found while cleaning. Hector comes closer and realizes what she holds. Mortified, he warns her of the curse, and Dolores says she cannot be cursed because the book was handed to her, not stolen.
Dolores, fearing they will now come after Hector and, more importantly, discover she now posesses the book, tells Hector they must leave at once. Hector resists, but Dolores won’t stand down. They sneak down to the laundry room in the basement and put on the guards’ soiled clothes and boots. The uniform is too big for Dolores, so she stuffs the pants into her boots and Hector helps her roll up the sleeves on her shirt.
Intriguing World: Drug cartel
Mystery: The curse of the book
Secret: Dolores craves power
Deception: Dolores did not follow the priestess’
instructions
Conspiracy: She plans to keep the book and leave with
Hector
Secret Identity: Dolores and Hector dress like guards
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To leave the compound
Hidden Layer: To be free
Strange Behavior: Risking their lives
Imminent Threat: Can always be caught and killed on the
spot
Suspicion:Open Loop: What will happen when Hector and Dolores try
to escape?
Mystery: What is the curse of the Book of Secrets
Empathy/Distress: Risking their lives
Payoff: Hector goes along with her plan and suggests
they disguise themselves
Irony: Dolores became a priestess by accident
Setup: Dolores plans to escapeConcept: Hector and Dolores plan their escape
EXT. COMPOUND OF SINOLOA CARTEL LORD – NIGHT: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, secret identity, suspicion, hidden agenda, hidden layer, imminent threat, suspicion
Several armed guards stand watch. Dolores and Hector approach the guards. Hector says they’ve been told to patrol the exterior perimeter of the compound. The guards nod, save for one who narrows his eyes, watching them as they continue walking.
Once they pass the guards and head toward the gate, the priestess chases after them and yells. Dolores and Hector run. As they are running, one of the new glyphs on the leather cover emits a thick, purple smoke, causing Dolores to escape in a puff of smoke, preventing anyone from seeing her. Instead of staying to help Hector, Dolores leaves Hector to be gunned down by the guards. Running down a dirt road, we see a shimmer that soon disappers into the night.
[Aside: Hector could haunt Dolores during the series and Dolores, who is carrying the drug lord’s baby, uses Hector as leverage against this baby, Lupe, who has been led to believe Hector is her biological father, held in a Sinoloan prison, and once they raise $20M, he will be released, unharmed. Lupe, is even more ruthless than Dolores, as she has cartel blood running through her icy veins.]
Intriguing World: Drug cartel; santeria
Mystery: What’s with all the smoke? What are the glyphs
on the book’s cover? Will the priestess survive now that she is no longer
useful?
Secret: Dolores and Hector leave without telling
anyone.
Deception: Dolores and Hector pretend to be guards.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Maid and Drug Mule pose as Guards
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To escape
Hidden Layer: To be free
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Death
Suspicion: One of the guards is skeptical of their
orderOpen Loop: Will the priestess come after Dolores? Will
Dolores be able to escape the wrath of the cartel? [Scene with her and
drug lord later; at first he is furious, because she ran from him, but
then he is happy to have a baby and, fearing for her life, she shows her
utility and offers to take down the other cartel with her spells, etc.]
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:Concept: What happens when you try to escape a cartel’s compound
Act 1
INT. JAKE’S HOME – DAY: Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat
The news is on and Jake, a renowned pediatric surgeon, is having breakfast with the family. A Category 3 hurricane is predicted. Mikey is looking at gay porn on his tablet with the volume off and Carlos is playing (and winning) several simultaneous games of chess on his phone. Both are focused on their screens and ignoring the entire conversation. Lupe is concerned, and Jake dismisses the threat of a hurricane and says he has to go to the medical conference, since he is the keynote speaker. Lupe warns him of the storm, and Jake says the only storm there is her. Dolores quietly reads the paper. As Jake gets up from the table, tossing his napkin on his plate, Lupe follows him upstairs, shouting expletives in Spanish.
· Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Mikey is gay.
Deception: Jake defies Lupe.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Lupe is not who she pretends to be.
Wound: Lupe is codependent.
Hidden Agenda: Lupe wants Jake to leave but is
pretending to care.
Hidden Layer: She plans to rob him when he leaves.
Strange Behavior: Dolores is never quiet.
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm.
Suspicion:Open Loop: Threat of storm.
Mystery: Why do they hate each other so much?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is worried about or husband.
Payoff: Lupe’s whining just makes Jake want to leave
even more.
Irony: Lupe wants Jake to go to the conference.
Setup: Jake is going to the conference.Concept: Husband defies wife.
INT. JAKE AND LUPE’S BEDROOM – SAME: Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Imminent Threat
Jake and Lupe fight over the conference he is going to. Lupe pleads Jake to stay as he packs. She knows if she doesn’t create a fuss, he will stay, so she is going full boar, giving the best performance of her life. Jake ignores Lupe and zips his suitcase shut. Distracted by all of Lupe’s belittling remarks and threats of divorce, Jake walks out while she is still screaming, leaving his suitcase and briefcase on the bed.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe fears abandonment.
Hidden Agenda: Yet she wants him to leave.
Hidden Layer: She is planning to leave him.
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Storm. Lupe is going to rob him.
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will their marriage survive?
Mystery: Why is Jake risking his life to go to the
conference?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is upset.
Payoff: Jake defies Lupe and packs.
Irony: Lupe wants him to go.
Setup: She successfully convinced him to leave.Concept: Wife uses reverse psychology to get her husband out of house during a tropical storm.
INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME: Intriguing World, Mystery, Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda (comes later), Hidden Layer (comes later), Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat, Suspicion
Dolores smiles as she hears Jake and Lupe argue then opens closet door to expose an elaborate santeria altar with candles and rosary beads and pictures and statues of saints. She lights a black candle and chants something in Spanish. Then she reaches for her Book of Secrets and notices it is not there! She cannot catfish Jake without the book, meaning their plan will be for not. Dolores casts a location spell and finds the book in Carlos’ room.
Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Dolores’ altar
Secret: What is she chanting?
Deception: Someone took her Book of Secrets
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess
Wound: Responsible for her husband’s death
Hidden Agenda: Needs book to set plan in motion
Hidden Layer: She is catfishing Lupe
Strange Behavior: Chanting in Spanish at her altar with
black candle. What is she up to?
Imminent Threat: Stolen book
Suspicion: Carlos has the bookOpen Loop: Will she retrieve the book?
Mystery: How did she get this book?
Empathy/Distress: Upset about mising the book.
Payoff: Location spell found book.
Irony: Without the book, her plan is useless.
Setup: Carlos took bookConcept: Dolores is now a powerful Santeria priestess.
INT. CARLOS’ ROOM – SAME: Santeria, Mystery, Deception, Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat, Suspicion
Carlos isn’t packing. He’s on his bed, flipping through Dolores’ book. Dolores barges into his room, warning him that stealing this sacred book will curse him. Carlos scoffs and says curses only work if you believe in them. Dolores narrows her eyes, suspicious of her grandson. How much does he know? And should she reverse the curse? Furious, Dolores snatches the book from Carlos and warns him to stay away from her altar or next time she won’t reverse the curse. Carlos rolls his eyes as Dolores storms out of the room with her book.
Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Why is the book so important
Secret: The book will curse anyone who steals it
Deception: Carlos stole his grandmother’s book
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Dolores is a santeria priestess
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Dolores is going to cast a spell on Lupe
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Grandmother threatens to curse her
grandson
Imminent Threat: Dolores threatens Carlos to stay away
from her book.
Suspicion: Dolores wonders why Carlos doesn’t believe
in curses.Open Loop: Will Dolores curse Carlos?
Mystery: Why is this book so important to Dolores?
Empathy/Distress: Without the book she is powerless.
Payoff: Location spell found the book.
Irony: Her grandson is immune to her threats.
Setup: Threatens Carlos to stay away from her book.
Will he?Concept: Dolores threatens Carlos to stay away from The Book of Secrets.
INT. JAKE’S HOME – SAME: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat
Jake SLAMS the front door and heads toward garage. Walking toward his car he realizes he forgot his suitcase. Shit! For a moment he wonders if he should go back in. When he realizes his speech is inside his briefcase, he rushes back inside to face the wrath of Lupe. When he enters the bedrom, he finds all of his clothes on the floor. Furious, Jake throws everything into his suitcase and rushes out of the room with his bags without saying goodbye.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why did Lupe do this?
Secret: She is going to rob him when he leaves.
Deception: Lupe threw all of Jake’s close on the floor.
Conspiracy: It is part of her plan to ruin him.
Secret Identity: She is a career criminal.
Wound: Lupe is codependent.
Hidden Agenda: She wants to piss Jake off.
Hidden Layer: She is stalling to piss him off.
Strange Behavior: Lupe throws all of Jake’s close on
the floor.
Imminent Threat: Lupe could make Jake late to the
airport.
Suspicion: Why is Jake flying during a tropical storm?Open Loop: Will Jake make it to the airport in time?
Mystery: Why is their marriage in the toilet?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is not listening to his
“concerned” wife.
Payoff: Lupe’s act works. Jake is furious and
definitely leaving.
Irony: Lupe wants Jake to leave, but begs him to stay.
Setup: Lupe tosses Jake’s clothes on the floor to anger
Jake.Concept: Lupe wins the fight, even though on the surface it appears Jake has.
INT. GARAGE – SAME:
Jake tries to start his car, but it is dead. Pounding his hands on the steering wheel, Jake screams. Looking at his watch he realizes he is running late for his flight. He gets out and opens Lupe’s car, starts up the engine, clicks the remote, backs out, closes garage door, and drives away.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why doesn’t Jake’s car start?
Secret: Carlos cut the wires to prevent his stepdad
from leaving, so he could be safe.
Deception: Jake takes Lupe’s car without asking.
Conspiracy: The family is plotting to leave and rob
Jake.
Secret Identity: The family members are career
criminals.
Wound: Carlos likes Jake.
Hidden Agenda: Carlos wants Jake to be safe.
Hidden Layer: Jake is having an affair.
Strange Behavior: Jake insists on going to conference
during a tropical storm.
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm.
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will Jake make it to the airport in time?
Mystery: Why doesn’t his car start?
Empathy/Distress: Jake can’t start his car?
Payoff: Jake has both of his bags.
Irony: Lupe actually wants Jake to leave.
Setup: He takes Lupe’s car.Concept: Jake ignores Lupe and drives to conference in her car.
Act 2:
INT. JAKE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT: Deception, Wound, Imminent Threat
The TV is blaring with news that Tropical Storm Lupe is growing stronger. Lupe and Dolores fight over the volume on the TV set. Dolores says she can barely hear it. Lupe takes the remote from Dolores, because the blaring volume is giving her a headache. Dolores slaps Lupe and tells her to go to fuck herself. Lupe rubs her cheek as Dolores leaves with the remote in her hand.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Dolores defies her mother
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe never got real love from Dolores
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Tropical Storm growing stronger
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will storm hit land?
Mystery: Why is their relationship so antagonistic?
Empathy/Distress: Mother/daughter fighting.
Payoff: ?
Irony: Two women who hate each other are trying to
watch TV together.
Setup: Lupe turns up TV on purpose to piss her mother
off.Concept: Dolores defies her mother.
INT. DOLORES’ BEDROOM – SAME: Intriguing world, Mystery, Secret, Deception, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat
Dolores storms up to her room and SLAMS the door, taking care to lock it to avoid intruders. She opens her closet, exposing an elaborate altar that appears to have been constructed by Marie Laveau and Mother Mary. Dolores chants in Spanish as she lights several candles and places an offering of flowers, fruit, and rum on her altar. Dolores opens her book of secrets and shakes a chicken bone wrapped in bloody feathers. If she reverses the curse, Carlos will be the new owner of the book, thereby inheriting the book’s power. Unwilling to share or give her power away, Dolores’ eyes grow dark as she resumes her chants.
Intriguing World: Santeria
Mystery: Just how powerful is this book?
Secret: Performing a curse behind closed doors.
Deception: Cursing grandson.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess
Wound: Greed
Hidden Agenda: To stay in power
Hidden Layer: Whatever it takes
Strange Behavior: Chanting at altar
Imminent Threat: Carlos is going to be cursed
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will the curse work?
Mystery: How did the book become cursed?
Empathy/Distress: Dolores could harm Carlos
Payoff: Gets Carlos back for stealing her book.
Irony: Carlos is immune to curses, because he doesn’t
believe in them.
Setup: Carlos steals book.Concept: Dolores curses her grandson
INT. MARCO’S HOUSE – NIGHT: Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Strange Behavior
Marco and Lupe have sex. During sex they discuss plans to liquidate Jake and Lupe’s shared accounts and for Marco to contact the movers to clear out the house. They don’t have much time and must act quickly. As Marco is calling the movers, he pushes Lupe down under the covers, so she can give him a blow job. As he is talking on the phone, there is a loud knock at the door. [Later it will be revealed that Marco and Lupe are cousins who Dolores paired up so she could use their combined incestual energies to create a powerful hex on her daughter.]
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Lupe and Marco are plotting to rob Jake
Deception: Lupe is cheating on Jake and planning to
ruin him
Conspiracy: Lupe and Marco are in on the plan
Secret Identity: Dutiful mother and wife
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To ruin Jake
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Discussing plans during sex?
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they pull this off?
Mystery: Why are they robbing Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Who’s at the door?
Payoff: Will come later when they rob him
Irony: Lupe and Marco are lovers and cousins (to learn
later)
Setup: Calling movers; making plans to rob JakeConcept: Marco and Lupe plan their heist
Act 3:
INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Imminent Threat, Conspiracy, Strange Behavior
News reports Tropical Storm Lupe is building momentum and growing stronger. 24-foot swells are predicted and back roads are closing due to flooding. Lupe rushes everyone to pack as Dolores watches the news with the TV blaring. Choosing her battles, Lupe decides to go upstairs and start packing.They have 24 hours to pack up and leave. Marco calls. He can’t find movers. Lupe asks Dolores to locate some movers. Still miffed at her daughter, Dolores tell Lupe to find them herself.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy: Planning to rob Jake
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Moving during a storm
Imminent Threat: Tropical storm approaching
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they find movers in time?
Mystery: Why do Lupe and Dolores hate each other?
Empathy/Distress: Having trouble finding movers
Payoff: Dolores won’t help.
Irony:
Setup: Lupe asks her mother for help.Concept: Lupe needs movers. Lupe and Dolores have a shit relationship.
INT. JAKE’S HOME OFFICE – DAY: Secret Identity, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat
Marco walks into Jake’s office and sticks a thumb drive into Jake’s computer. He has five tries to guess the password. If he guesses wrong, the house alarm will sound, and the police will arrive within minutes. A clever program Carlos created for his stepdad. Marco is sweating with each missed try. On his last try, he looks up at Jake’s diploma. Graduation date? He types in the month day and year as one word lowercase and he’s in. The wind is growing stronger and the windows are shaking. Marco redirects a child pornography site on the dark web and redirects it to Jake’s IPS. He also uploads X-rated pics of naked kids to frame him as a pedophile and then creates a folder of additional incriminating photos on his desktop. Marco opens up Jake’s inbox and sees a barrage of sex trafficking emails from eager customers and smiles. He’s done.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity: Marco is a computer hacker
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To frame Jake
Hidden Layer: To win Lupe’s affection
Strange Behavior: Marco breaking in to Jake’s computer
Imminent Threat: Criminal charges for Jake
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will Jake get caught?
Mystery: Why is Lupe doing this to Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Will Marco be able to get into Jake’s
computer?
Payoff: Marco gets in.
Irony: Carlos set up the login protection that is
challenging Marco, but Marco doesn’t know that, nor does Carlos offer to
help.
Setup: Password-protected computer.Concept: Marco frames Jake
INT. DOLORES’ ROOM – DAY: Intriguing world, mystery, secret, deception, conspiracy, secret identity, wound, hidden agenda, hidden layer, strange behavior, imminent threat
Tropical Storm Lupe has turned into a Category 4 hurricane, damaging most of the Bahamas. It continues to grow in speed and intensity. Dolores isn’t packed. Instead, she inspects her santeria shit calmly while everyone else is rushing. She is more focused on the lit candles on her altar than packing. She is about to cast another spell, when she hears a knock at the door.
Intriguing World: Santeria, hurricanes
Mystery: Why isn’t Dolores packed?
Secret: Dolores isn’t packed.
Deception: She is slowing things down.
Conspiracy: She and the spirits are conspiring to harm
Jake.
Secret Identity: Santeria priestess.
Wound: Poor as a child; greedy/power-hungry as an adult
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake
Hidden Layer: To take the money from Lupe
Strange Behavior: Casting spells during a hurricane
when she should be packing
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:Open Loop: Who is at the door?
Mystery: Why isn’t Dolores packed?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is trying to leave, but Dolores
is dragging her heels.
Payoff: TBD
Irony: Everyone’s rushing/in danger. Dolores doesn’t
care.
Setup: Dolores is getting ready to do another spell.Concept: Dolores is sick with power and desires spells above all else, including her family
INT. BANK – DAY: Intriguing world, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden layer,
Lupe rushes into a bank, heart racing but trying to appear calm as she approaches a teller. She is dressed to the nines in a Channel suit and matching bag. She approaches a teller who initially smiles but then scowls when Lupe mentions she wants to empty all of her joint accounts, which contains millions. Lupe is panicking and asks to speak to the branch manager. The manager also resists and Lupe threatens to call her lawyer unless they give her what she wants. She is speaking in a loud tone. To keep customers calm and Lupe quiet, the manager steps in. He says he needs to make some calls to get that kind of money. Lupe pulls a gun on him and forces the manager to take her into the vault where she proceeds to take as much money that she can fit in the bags. All of this is caught on tape, and the police have been called. To discover later: No matter, Lupe changes identities and appearances on the regular.
Intriguing World: White collar crime.
Mystery:
Secret: Lupe is a criminal.
Deception: Lupe steals from Jake
Conspiracy: To skip town set him up for crimes
Secret Identity: Career criminal.
Wound: Feels unloved.
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake.
Hidden Layer: To win over her mother’s love.
Strange Behavior: Robbing her own husband.
Imminent Threat: Ticking clock of hurricae
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will Lupe get the money?
Mystery: Why is Lupe robbing Jake?
Empathy/Distress: Will she get caught?
Payoff: Going to not just empty the joint accounts, but
also the entire vault
Irony: Carlos has already moved Jake’s money into
offshore accounts
Setup: Needs to empty accountsConcept: Lupe liquidates all of their joint accounts.
INT. BEAUTY SUPPLY STORE – SAME: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat
Lupe rushes into the store and starts tossing hair dye, clippers, makeup, clippers, and scissors into her basket. The shelves are practically bare. There is a wig Lupe has an eye on, but a customer grabs it before Lupe can. They get into an altercation and play tug of war with the wig. Lupe lets go of the wig and the woman falls flat on her ass. Lupe laughs and snatches the wig from the injured woman, taking care to step on her hand with her stilettos as she heads to the register.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Lupe is buying disguises
Conspiracy: The family is robbing and framing Jake
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To disguise everyone
Hidden Layer: To not get caught
Strange Behavior: Buying so many supplies
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will the woman chase after her?
Mystery: ?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe wants wig. So does other woman.
Payoff: Lupe lets go of wig.
Irony: ?
Setup: Tug-of-war.Concept: Dolores is ruthless.
INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Imminent threat
Marco arrives with a team of movers. When they walk to the front door, Marco notices they are tipsy. He yells at them for coming to work drunk and shoves them on the lawn, since they are useless. Marco enlists Carlos and Mikey to load the truck. The boys need convincing as Marco burns time forcing them to help. With an hour and counting, they need to move FAST. Lupe shows up with burner phones, bags of money, and disguises. She drops them on the marble floor and sees the house filled with furnishings, furious.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Robbing Jake
Conspiracy: Whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: To frame Jake for child sex trafficking
Hidden Layer: So they can get away with robing him
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: What’s up with all the disguises?
Empathy/Distress: Drunk movers. Kids don’t want to
help.
Payoff: Kids help
Irony: The help is incapacitated/unwilling
Setup: Drunk moversConcept: Good help is hard to find
Act 4:
INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Deception, Conspiracy, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Imminent threat
Marco starts to board up the office windows to protect the incriminating evidence. Unfortunately, the drunk movers called a cab earlier and left with most of the wood. Out of time, Lupe and the kids start carrying suitcases downstairs. All the back roads are closed and the winds are blowing hard. There is no TV signal, so they don’t even know if they can make it to the highway. Debris and branches blow across the lawn, with one large branch hitting their dining room window, causing Lupe to jump. Lupe yells at Marco for hiring a bunch of drunks and then hands him a burner phone and snatches his other one before he can comment.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Robbing Jake while he is out of town
Conspiracy: Whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda: Leave house before hurricane hits
Hidden Layer: To rob Jake
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Hurricane Lupe
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they get out befor hurricane hits?
Mystery: Why did the drunk movers take the wood?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Can’t be tracked
Irony: Marco needs wood. Movers left with most of it.
Setup: Burner phones/got rid of other phonesConcept: Lupe and family struggle to leave.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY: Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat, Suspicion
At an out-of-state hotel, Jake unpacks his suitcase and answers a knock at the door. It is an attractive woman, smiling. As Jake opens the door, his phone rings. It’s Lupe calling to keep up the front so he doesn’t suspect anything. Jake shushes the woman who greets Jake with an eager “hi…” Jake lies and tells Lupe it’s the TV and says he has to go for drinks with the other conference attendees and hangs up. Lupe keeps calling while Jake kisses the woman on her neck, savoring every inch of her as each call goes to voicemail and beeps. Annoyed, Jake turns his phone off and tosses it on the dresser as he pulls the woman closer to him and the bed.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Jake’s having an affair
Deception: Behind Lupe’s back
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe is jealous
Hidden Agenda: Lupe puts up a front
Hidden Layer: To prevent him from suspecting anything
Strange Behavior: She gets upset at someone she is
going to leave
Imminent Threat: Other woman
Suspicion: Lupe suspects Jake is with someone elseOpen Loop: Will Lupe stay to fight with Jake? Will she
confront the other woman?
Mystery: How long has Jake been with this other woman?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is jealous/pissed.
Payoff: Infuriates Lupe.
Irony: Lupe calls to feign concern and gets concerned
for real when she hears the other woman.
Setup: Phone call to Jake.Concept: Jake is having an affair
INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – DAY: Mystery, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat
Lupe is stressed out, because it’s time to go and she can’t control Jake or her mother who is casting spells in her bedroom when they need to go. NOW. Lupe barges into her mother’s room, furious to see Dolores hasn’t even packed. Lupe starts opening drawers and tossing clothes into Dolores’ suitcase. Dolores yells at Lupe and says the suitcase is for her book and candles, as they fight in Spanish over the fact that she isn’t even packed.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why doesn’t Dolores want to pack her clothes?
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe is a control freak; she and her mother have
a stressful relationship
Hidden Agenda: Dolores wants to piss Lupe off
Hidden Layer: She hates her daughter
Strange Behavior: They need to leave, but she isn’t
packed
Imminent Threat: Hurricane
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: Why do Lupe and Dolores have such a bad
relationship? Why is Dolores casting spells?
Empathy/Distress: Lupe and Dolores fighting.
Payoff: Pisses Lupe off.
Irony: Stalling when they need to leave
Setup: Dolores procrastinatingConcept: Lupe and Dolores get into a fight over her not being packed yet.
INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden Agenda, Hidden Layer, Strange Behavior, Suspicion
Jake walks into the great room with his briefcase, confident. When he gets to the stage, he sets his briefcase down and opens it on an adjacent chair and reaches for his speech. Flummoxed, it is not where he left it in the top pocket. He fumbles through the briefcase, frantic. Nothing. But then he notices a lump under a notepad and finds a pile of shredded papers. His speech! There are hundreds of hospital adminstrators in the audience from prestigious hospitals, scouting speakers to work at their hospitals for higher pay. Jake left his laptop at home and is going to have to wing it. He’s not very good at winging it. He even has feedback from the mic and turns six shades of red. Soon into his speech people start leaving in droves, including the hospital administrators. His mistress is one of the few people left by the time he gives up and gets off the podium.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Who shredded his speech?
Secret: Lupe did it.
Deception: His wife ruined not just his life, but also
his career.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Pride. Failed in front of others.
Hidden Agenda: To ruin Jake.
Hidden Layer: Spite.
Strange Behavior: Shredded speech.
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion: Jake suspects Lupe did it.Open Loop: Will Jake confront Lupe?
Mystery: Who shredded the speech?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is thrown. Now what?
Payoff: Jake is embarassed.
Irony: He is having an affair and plans to leave Lupe.
Now he can’t because his career is in the toilet.
Setup: Lupe shreds speech.Concept: Lupe fucked over Jake by running his speech through the shredder
EXT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME: Deception, Conspiracy, Secret Identity, Imminent threat,
The wind is growing louder, branches and lawn chairs are blowing across the yard. The remaining neighbors left days ago. Lupe tosses everyone’s cell phones into the bushes and one flies back and slaps her in the face. Lupe screams and then storms inside and hands out burner phones to Dolores and the kids. Marco gets in the moving truck and everyone else follows Lupe to the garage, but her car isn’t there! Furious, Lupe tries to start Jake’s car, and it’s dead. After screaming and pounding her hands on the steering wheel, Lupe calls Marco to help. Marco, halfway down the street with a hitch for Lupe’s car, has to manuever the awkward truck, as he wastes more time and the rain and winds grow heavier. He jacknifes and struggles to get the truck facing the right direction. When he finally arrives, he tries to jump start the car with the truck, but there are no cables in the back of Lupe’s car or the moving truck. Lupe and Dolores fight over how stupid Lupe is.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Lupe is trying to rob Jake
Conspiracy: The whole family’s in on it
Secret Identity: They’re career criminals
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they get out in time?
Mystery: Why doesn’t Lupe have jumper cables? [Need
something better}
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is freaking out, because her car
is gone and Jake’s won’t start. Marco struggles to turn the truck around.
Payoff: Jake’s car is dead. Lupe is stuck.
Irony: Jake threw an inadvertent wrench in Lupe’s plan.
Setup: Jake took Lupe’s car.Concept: The family is in a bind.
INT. JAKE’S HOUSE – SAME: Deception, Wound, Imminent Threat
Jake plays the devoted husband and calls to check on the family. All of his calls go to voicemail. Marco calls from the car rental place with bad news. There are no rental cars and only three fit in the moving truck. Lupe screams and gets into a fight with Marco over the phone about how useless he is. She hangs up and tells him to hurry up.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception: Jake pretends to care about Lupe and calls
to check in.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Lupe’s an unstable, vile control freak
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Running out of time
Suspicion:Open Loop: How are they all going to fit in the moving
truck?
Mystery: Why are Lupe and Jake still married? [Not
quite. Need something else.]
Empathy/Distress: Lupe is freaking out because there
are no rental cars.
Payoff: Lupe is in a bind.
Irony: He inadvertently thwarts part of her plan.
Setup: Jake take’s Lupe’s car and leaves her with a
dud.Concept: Lupe has a temper. Jake inadvertently thwarts part of Lupe’s plan by taking her car and leaving his.
EXT. JAKE’S DRIVEWAY – LATER: Imminent threat, wound, hidden agenda, hidden layer
Marco returns with the moving truck. The wind is so strong, he can barely open the driver’s side door. Lupe rushes everyone in the moving truck, packing them in like sardines. Dolores is the last one in. Before she gets in the van, she looks up at the dark sky and smiles. Marco tries to back out, but with everyone packed in, he can’t shift gears. Lupe tells Dolores to get her fat ass in the cargo area of the truck. Dolores kicks the boys out of the truck, in the hailing rain, as Marco opens the cargo door. Lupe and Dolores fight in Spanish over the situation.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Dolores and Lupe have a strained relationship
Hidden Agenda: To rob Jake and escape with everything
Hidden Layer: To ruin Jake
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Hurricane coming
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they be able to leave?
Mystery: How did Dolores and Lupe become so strained?
Empathy/Distress: Dolores and Lupe fight
Payoff: Marco can’t shift gears.
Irony: Need to rush; slowed down by lack of rental cars
and space
Setup: They all try to fit in truck.Concept: Lupe has no sway over Dolores.
INT. MIKEY’S ROOM – SAME: Imminent threat
Mikey’s closet door is open, a snake slithers out of a terrarium and glides across the room. With a closer look we see it is a black mamba. If the snake kills Jake, it will foil Lupe’s plans. Moving slowly, the snake moves quietly to the door of Mikey’s room and proceeds to slither down the hall, heading toward the stairs.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Deadly snake in house
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will the snake kill Jake?
Mystery: Why does Mikey have a deadly snake?
Empathy/Distress: We worry about Jake’s safety.
Payoff: To come later.
Irony: Something left behind that could ruin their
plans.
Setup: Mikey left a deadly snake behind.Concept: There’s a deadly snake loose in the house.
EXT. HWY – LATER: Imminent threat, Secret, Deception
I-75 is a parking lot. A LONG stretch of cars are trying to escape the wrath of Hurricane Lupe, which is now predicted to turn into a Category 5 hurricane and hit land by midnight. Hail pummels the cars as one hydroplanes its way into a ditch. Frustrated by Lupe’s screams, Marco slowly moves his way over to the shoulder and starts passing all of the cars. A cop spots them and starts to chase after their truck. Marco freaks out. His license was suspended and he could get arrested. Lupe tells him to shut up and drive faster. Marco speeds up and spots another car in front of them. Because of the slippery road, when Marco slams on his brakes to avoid colliding into another car riding on the shoulder, he skids off the shoulder, almost toppling the truck. The officer catches up with them and arrests Marco for reckless driving and driving with a suspended license. Lupe is forced to take over and struggles to get back on the highway as she awkwardly tries to handle the truck, whose wheels are spinning in the mud. She pounds the steering wheel and gets out of the driver’s seat, opens the cargo door, and commands the boys and Dolores to push her out of the mud. Dolores refuses to help, forcing Lupe to get wet and muddy, along with the boys. After much effort and wasted time, they get back on the shoulder. Lupe closes the boys back in the cargo and shushes Dolores before she can complain further.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Marco’s license is suspended
Deception: Didn’t tell Lupe that
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Cop chasing them, Hurricane, Running
out of time
Suspicion:Open Loop: What’s going to happen now?
Mystery: Why was Marco’s license suspended?
Empathy/Distress: Highway is a parking lot. They need
to get out FAST.
Payoff: Near accident; Marco arrested; family stuck in
mud
Irony: Name of hurricane; to avoid hitting a car, Marco
almost flips the truck; Lupe, who refuses to do heavy lifting or any type
of labor is now forced to drive a heavy truck and push it out of the mud
with her kids; in a hurry, but now delayed, because they have to bail
Marco out of jail with money stolen from Jake’s safe
Setup: Driving on shoulder; reckless driving; Marco
driving without a licenseConcept: Marco gets arrested; more time is wasted.
Act 5:
INT. POSH HOTEL – DAY: Mystery, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior,
Lupe and her family are out of state in a very nice hotel. Everyone except Mikey has changed their appearance. Marco tosses large, sealed envelopes on the bed, informing them these are their new identities. Lupe walks the room, inspecting everyone. Mikey still looks like Mikey, and he refuses to dye his hair and eyebrows blonde and get a buzz cut. Mikey is built like a bull. He is the muscle of the operation and Lupe cannot overpower him. When Mikey is caught off guard, Marco holds Mikey in a headlock. A fight ensues. Marco wins the fight as Lupe shaves her son’s head as he weeps on the floor. Marco tells him it’s time to dye his hair. Mikey stands up, looks at himself in the mirror, and shatters the glass with his fist.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why is Mikey so opposed to changing his
appearance?
Secret:
Deception: Family changing their identity
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Mikey is proud
Hidden Agenda: To change appearance
Hidden Layer: To avoid getting caught
Strange Behavior: Mikey punches mirror with fist
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they be able to pull this off?
Mystery: Have they done this before?
Empathy/Distress: Fight between Mikey and Marco
Payoff: Marco and Lupe force Mikey to go along with
their plan
Irony: A big guy acting like a baby
Setup: Mikey refuses to change appearanceConcept: Mikey is an immature douche.
INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Conspiracy, Imminent Threat
Days after the conference, Jake pulls into the neighborhood, shocked by all the damage Hurricane Lupe left in her wake. As he pulls into his driveway, he notices his garage door has been torn off and several windows have been broken. He pulls into his garage and notices his car is still there. A mixture of dread and relief come over him. She’s still there. Or so he thinks. When he walks inside, he calls for his family. But no one is there. Not only that. The power is out! He sets his suitcase down and fumbles in the utility drawer in the kitchen for a flashlight. It’s empty. He looks up and shines the flashlight on his phone around him, turning slowly. His entire house is empty! He tries calling Lupe several times, each call going straight to voicemail. With the dim light from his cell phone, he searches frantically from room to room. From what he can see, everything is empty, save for his office. He storms upstairs, using the railing for leverage and just misses stepping on Mikey’s snake. The snake hisses as Jake rushes by.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Where is everyone? Why is the house empty?
Secret: He’s been robbed
Deception: By his own family
Conspiracy: Everyone was in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound: Broken trust
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Black Mamba
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will snake get Jake?
Mystery for Jake: Where is everyone? Why is all his
stuff gone?
Empathy/Distress: Due to mystery above, Jake is
concerned and searching frantically through the house.
Payoff: Jake comes home to an empty house.
Irony: His own family robbed him.
Setup: Family robbed Jake.Concept: Jake comes home and finds everything, including his family, gone.
INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Wound, Hidden agenda, Hidden layer, Strange behavior, Imminent threat
Marco arrives with Chinese food. Mikey, still pissed, refuses to eat. As the rest of the family is eating, Mikey smiles and tells everyone he left Negrito, the black mamba, back at the house. Lupe gasps as she realizes this could ruin everything. As he and Lupe are arguing, Dolores slaps Mikey hard across the face, chastizing him for potentially ruining everything. Mikey backs away and picks up his burner phone and threatens to call the cops. Lupe tells him to stop being a child and to put his phone away. Mikey refuses. Marco stands up and glares at Mikey. He looks toward Lupe for permission. Lupe closes her eyes and nods quickly. Marco gets up and bodyslams Mikey and proceeds to beat the living shit out of him. Holding him by the throat, nearly strangling him, Marco says he will kill him if he ever pulls that shit again. With his eyes bulging and face reddening, Mikey nods and Marco releases his grip while Mikey coughs, lying wounded on the floor.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why is Mikey so pissed?
Secret: Mikey tried to ruin everything.
Deception: Mikey didn’t tell anyone until it was too
late.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound: Mikey is troubled because he is closeted and
jealous because he knows Carlos is Dolores’ favorite.
Hidden Agenda: To upset family
Hidden Layer: Jealousy; wants to hurt them
Strange Behavior: Mother lets boyfriend nearly kill her
son
Imminent Threat: Mikey left the snake
Suspicion: Why did Mikey leave the snake?Open Loop: Will Mikey ruin the plan or turn on the
family?
Mystery: Why did Mikey try to ruin the plan?
Empathy/Distress: Mikey infuriates the entire family.
Payoff: He got a rise out of his family.
Irony: Family turning against family.
Setup: Mikey left deadly snake behind.Concet: Mikey is a selfish brat.
INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT:
Jake calls Lupe again, but the calls all go to voicemail. Jake takes a moment to think things through. Pacing across the floor, he starts talking to himself. If he calls the police, they will find the family. Does he really want Lupe back? But then there’s Carlos, who’s a real smart kid with a good head on his shoulders. He wants to make sure the kid’s OK. Plus all his stuff. What the fuck happened there? Was he looted? After careful thought, he calls the police to report a robbery and his missing family. With the power still out, Jake is alone in the house with a deadly snake he knows nothing about.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret: Loose snake in house
Deception: Jake his been framed and robbed
Conspiracy: His family did it
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Deadly snake; also police (although
Jake knows neither)
Suspicion:Open Loop: What will happen when the police arrive?
Mystery (to Jake): What happened? Where are his family?
Where is his stuff?
Empathy/Distress: Jake has been robbed and doesn’t know
where his family is.
Payoff: Jake can’t track them down
Irony: His own family robbed and framed him.
Setup: Lupe gets burner phonesConcept: Jake is conflicted about calling the police.
INT. JAKE’S HOME – LATER: Mystery, Secret, Deception, Strange Behavior, Imminent Threat
There is a loud knock at the door. Unable to see outside, Jake asks who it is. When the police announce themselves, he opens the door. With all the lights out, the cops use their flashlights. Jake is relieved they have arrived. He explains what happened: the fight, the conference, the unanswered voicemails. He tries to give them photos of the family to place on TV so they can find his mising family. Disinterested in the photos, the police, who were tipped off by one of the drunk movers (as planned), walk right into Jake’s office and head straight to his computer. While the police inspect his office, Jake thinks for clues, he texts a photo of his family to a local TV station.
Intriguing World:
Mystery: Why don’t the police want to help Jake find
his family?
Secret: A friend of the family made an anonymous call
from a burner phone to tell the police to investigate Jake.
Deception: Jake framed by his family.
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Police don’t seem interested in the
robbery or Jake’s family
Imminent Threat: Police and deadly snake
Suspicion:Open Loop: What will the police find in Jake’s office?
Mystery: Where is everyone/everything?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is worried.
Payoff: Police are about to find evidence to frame
Jake.
Irony: His family set him up
Setup: Marco placed child porn and built a child sex
trafficking site on Jake’s computer; anonymous call to police.Concept: The police aren’t helping Jake.
INT. POSH HOTEL – NIGHT: Imminent threat
Full from dinner and tired from the day’s drama, the family watches TV. A news bulletin flashes. A photo of Lupe and family appears and newscaster says they are missing. Shit! Jake just inadvertently made their escape more difficult. They are on the lam and do not want to be discovered. The family starts packing. Marco calls one of his workers to confirm the furniture has been taken to the warehouse before they peel out of the parking lot in Lupe’s new car.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat: Photo of family as missing on news
Suspicion:Open Loop: Will they get caught?
Mystery: Why are they storing stolen furniture?
Empathy/Distress: Family must rush to leave the country
Payoff: The family are on the news listed as missing
Irony: They want to be missing; Jake inadvertently made
their escape more difficult
Setup: Jake texts photo of family to local news stationConcept: Lupe and family are forced to run.
INT. JAKE’S HOME – NIGHT: Intriguing world, Mystery, Deception, Conspiracy, Wound, Strange Behavior, Imminent threat
As the police look through Jake’s computer, Jake is confused, because the police do not seem interested in the robbery or his family, but rather his computer and what’s on it. He asks them why they are so focused on his computer, and one of the officers starts questioning Jake about the images of naked children and sex trafficking websites he created. Jake refuses to answer. This is bullshit. What the fuck is happening? Jake says he wants his lawyer. One of the officers cuffs Jake while reading him his Miranda rights as the other officer calls the CI team to come and bag the computer and take it to the lab for further searches.
Intriguing World: Child sex trafficking
Mystery: Who put the porn on Jake’s computer?
Secret:
Deception: Framed by family
Conspiracy: They were all in on it
Secret Identity:
Wound: Betrayal
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior: Police aren’t being helpful
Imminent Threat: Jake has been framed and has just been
arrested
Suspicion:Open Loop: What’s going to happen to Jake?
Mystery: Why would a pediatric surgeon be running a
child sex trafficking ring?
Empathy/Distress: Jake is upset about being framed?
Payoff: Police came to investigate Jake
Irony: Jake was framed by his own family. Pediatric
surgeon framed as a pedophile.
Setup: Marco put child porn, etc. on Jake’s computer;
another person tipped off the policeConcept: Jake is arrested.
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