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Day 12 Assignments
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Joan Butler Assignment 12 Transitions with Meaning
What I learned: Transitions other than flow can be fun to write, but they shouldn’t be overused.
Question and Answer Transition
This scene is a very long. I’ve only posted the ending.
Before
INT. MOUNTAINTOP HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Gaia’s phone rings. She answers it.
PETRA (V.O.)
Where’s the assignment?
GAIA
(quietly)
It’s not coming.
PETRA (V.O.)
I have no choice but to cancel your pilot and dismiss you for incompetence.
GAIA
(resigned)
Do whatever you want.
PETRA (V.O.)
I have papers for you to sign.
I’ll leave now and call you when I get there. Come out when I arrive and walk me in.
Gaia touches the END button on her phone. Her eyes well as she looks at the floor.
SELMA
I’m so sorry.
GAIA
If it wasn’t the report, it would be something else.
Silence.
GAIA
What’s important, is Elizabeth. Was she gone by the time you left?
SELMA
No.
Gaia keys in a number on the phone.
GAIA
(into phone)
Question Hi, Maggie. It’s Gaia. Is Elizabeth still there?
MAGGIE
Answer She’s in the laundry.
INT. TRANSITION HOUSE – LAUNDRY – DAY
The washers and dryers are empty.
Elizabeth places her bedding in a washer.
After
INT. MOUNTAINTOP HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Gaia’s phone rings. She answers it.
PETRA (V.O.)
Where’s the assignment?
GAIA
(quietly)
It’s not coming.
PETRA (V.O.)
I have no choice but to cancel your pilot and dismiss you for incompetence.
GAIA
(resigned)
Do whatever you want.
PETRA (V.O.)
I have papers for you to sign.
I’ll leave now and call you when I get there. Come out when I arrive and walk me in.
Gaia touches the END button on her phone. Her eyes well as she looks at the floor.
SELMA
I’m so sorry.
GAIA
If it wasn’t the report, it would be something else.
Silence.
GAIA
What’s important, is Elizabeth. Was she gone by the time you left?
SELMA
No.
Gaia keys in a number on the phone.
GAIA
(into phone)
Question Hi, Maggie. It’s Gaia. Is Elizabeth still there?
Answer INT. TRANSITION HOUSE – LAUNDRY – DAY
The washers and dryers are empty.
Elizabeth places her bedding in a washer.
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Lisa’s Dramatic Scene Transitions
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is how surprising it is to see how much my screenplay can improve with these simple, but effective transition ideas. I literally didn’t realize a well-executed transition could make such a big difference in the reading of the script. Very grateful for this exercise.
Logline: A homeless teenage orphan, chasing her dream of becoming the next Adele, must survive the streets of L.A. and the pursuit of the criminal who killed her family.
ORIGINAL SCENE TRANSITION:
(Posting only the end and beginning of the scene to show the transition)
INT. DAMIANO HOME FOYER – NIGHT
CLARE
We’ll be back in a few hours.
THOMAS
Aaron?
AARON
Sir?
THOMAS
Make sure she’s walking through that door at ten o’clock.
AARON
Yes, sir.
The young couple walks out and closes the front door behind them. Katrina hugs Thomas around his waist.
KATRINA
He’s a nice kid.
THOMAS
I’m keeping my eye on him.
KATRINA
I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Judge Damiano. Now, how about a glass of wine?
They turn around and walk down the hall back into the kitchen.
THOMAS
Best suggestion I’ve heard all day.
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET – NIGHT
Several miles away, Aaron’s immaculately preserved 1989 silver BMW 325iS races around a corner and parks on an empty cul-de-sac of vacant lots. He turns the car off.
INT. BACK SEAT OF AARON’S BMW – NIGHT
Aaron and Clare are passionately making out in the backseat of Aaron’s BMW. The windows begin to steam up as Aaron’s hand slowly slides down her waist to her leg and finds its way under her skirt. Her eyes pop open.
NEW SCENE TRANSITION – REVEAL:
CLARE
We’ll be back in a few hours.
THOMAS
Aaron?
AARON
Sir?
THOMAS
Make sure she’s walking through that door at ten o’clock.
AARON
Yes, sir.
The young couple walks out and closes the front door behind them. Katrina hugs Thomas around his waist.
KATRINA
He’s a nice kid.
THOMAS
I’m keeping my eye on him.
KATRINA
I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Judge Damiano. But, I wouldn’t worry. The coffee shop is the perfect place for a fun, innocent date. I’m sure we can trust them.
INT. BACK SEAT OF AARON’S BMW – NIGHT
Aaron and Clare are passionately making out in the backseat of Aaron’s BMW. The windows begin to steam up as Aaron’s hand slowly slides down her waist to her leg and finds its way up under her skirt. Her eyes pop open.
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# Danny’s Dramatic Scene Transitions
# What I learned from doing this assignment is…
The biggest take-away for me has to be how valuable (and simple) transition techniques are to keep the reader engaged and entertained.
## Original
**INT. TIBZ’ OFFICE – DAY**
TIBZ Look, it’s probably for the best. No one wants to work with Darbinski anyway.
ZIMMERMAN What we need is someone who can fill in for Memenzo until he’s wrapped.
TIBZ But who do we know that’s stupid enough to do that?
RICK I might know somebody.
**INT. ALDO’S CAR – NIGHT**
As they approach the studio, they see Pepe’s belongings piled up on the sidewalk.
PEPE Oh no.
## The Question and Answer Transition.
**INT. TIBZ’ OFFICE – DAY**
TIBZ Look, it’s probably for the best. No one wants to work with Darbinski anyway.
ZIMMERMAN What we need is someone who can fill in for Memenzo until he’s done shooting.
TIBZ But who do we know that’s stupid enough to do that?
RICK I might know somebody.
**INT. OVAL PICTURES – LOBBY – DAY**
Pepe steps out of the elevator with a fresh jar of styling gel holding his hair in place.
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Marian Redmann Dramatic Scene Transitions – Shark Abyss
What I learned from doing this assignment is, that only by changing a transition a bit, I can create a much more powerful emotional impact.
SCENE BEFORE:
INT. SUBMARINE HOLD – DAY
Lisanna rushes across the room as fast as she can. The shark has broken free and is swimming after Lisanna.
Only 30 seconds left… Then the bomb goes off.
Lisanna grabs an old Nazi standard. The shark shoots towards her.
Lisanna holds the standard right in his direction.
LISANNA
Bullseye!
The shark at full speed… can no longer stop… The Nazi standard bores into his eye.
Savagely, it snaps at Lisanna in its death throes….
Again and again. Centimeters separate his mouth from her.
Lisanna is able to wriggle out the back….
10 seconds remain… Lisanna sees the hole in the outer shell….
Will she make it? The timer counts down 5… 4… 3…
Lisanna rushes to the hole.
KAWUUUUUM.
The explosion shakes the submarine. A shock wave sweeps Lisanna along….
The huge detonation tears a huge hole in the submarine…
Debris and rubble rain down….
INT. OLD SUBMARINE BASE – DAY
Mia, Sophie, Petra and Freddy hear the explosion. The walls of the old submarine base shake….
The three look at each other in fear. It feels like the world is coming to an end….
Mortar trickles from the ceiling…. But they are alive… Mia takes the intercom….
MIA
Mom?
INT. BIG SUBMARINE CAVE – DAY
The structure stands. The explosion has been intercepted….
Lisanna has saved Mia and the island. There is no sign of Lisanna, however…
Mia’s voice echoes over the scene.
MIA (V.O.)
MOM??
Lisanna is in the old Nazi submarine. She has to kill the shark and disarm the bomb. She is running out of time. Her daughter Mia hears her mother over intercom. I wanted to maximize the tension through the transition. By removing the description and change elements, I put three transition types together. It is a mixture of Question / Answer, Reveal / Shock and Subtext Transition. The new transition is between the first and second scene. I hope to achieve the maximum emotional effect.
NEW SCENE
INT. SUBMARINE HOLD – DAY
Lisanna rushes across the room as fast as she can. The shark has broken free and is swimming after Lisanna. Only 30 seconds left… Then the bomb goes off.
Lisanna grabs an old Nazi standard. The shark shoots towards her.
Lisanna holds the standard right in his direction.
LISANNA
Bullseye!
The shark at full speed… can no longer stop… The Nazi standard bores into his eye.
Savagely, it snaps at Lisanna in its death throes….
Again and again. Centimeters separate his mouth from her.
Lisanna is able to wriggle out the back…. 10 seconds remain…
Lisanna sees the hole in the outer shell….
The timer counts down 5… 4… 3… Lisanna rushes to the hole….
Will she make it?
INT. OLD SUBMARINE BASE – DAY
KAWUUUUUM.
Mia, Sophie, Petra, and Freddy hear the explosion. The walls of the old submarine base shake….
The three look at each other in fear. It feels like the world is coming to an end….
Mortar trickles from the ceiling….
But they are alive… Mia takes the intercom… An anxious moment…
MIA
Mom?
INT. BIG SUBMARINE CAVE – DAY
The structure is in place. The explosion has been intercepted….
Lisanna has saved Mia and the island. There is no sign of Lisanna, however…
Mia’s voice echoes over the scene.
MIA (V.O.)
MOM???
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