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Day 12 Assignments
Posted by cheryl croasmun on September 19, 2022 at 4:49 amReply to post your assignment.
Zev Ledman replied 2 years, 5 months ago 6 Members · 5 Replies -
5 Replies
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Denice’s Challenging Situations
What I learned that is improving my writing is that these techniques make you search for deeper levels of understanding of your characters, plot, and yourself. It’s all about getting to the emotion, growth, and its effects on the characters and the audience.
SCENE 1 INT. UPSTAIRS STUDIO – DAY
A. Current Scene Logline: Everett doesn’t want Ann to find Finn in the trunk.
B. Essence: He doesn’t want her to know what he’s done.
C. Brainstorm Changes:
Values: His love for his wife and daughter could be emphasized for more audience empathy.
Physical: He can be more over-the-top because of his unusual problem–not being human or knowing how to be a ghost.
D. Quick Summary: Everett will react crazier being in his dead wife’s studio in addition to trying to take Ann’s attention away from what he’s hiding in the trunk. He can’t be seen, heard, or do ghostly things. So he’ll try to get her attention by trying to learn how to be a ghost: hanging upside down, running around her, blowing in her face. Every time he does this, Ann is doing something that reminds him of his wife–looking at her mother’s book, a cherished heirloom, a photograph–to affect the audience with his emotional rollercoaster.
SCENE 2 INT. DOWNSTAIRS BEDROOM – NIGHT
A. Current Scene Logline: Ann locks herself in her parents’ bedroom after running away from seeing her father’s ghost and Finn’s wings.
B. Essence: Ann wants to know how her father could have changed so much.
C. Brainstorm Changes:
Needs: He needs to persuade her to leave the house.
Values: He’s not acting like the father she knows who would never kill a man.
D. Quick Summary:
I need to add more emotion and humor to both characters. I didn’t realize how much of a talking-heads scene this is. Ann needs to be afraid of her father and horrified to be able to see ghosts and defends herself with anything she finds in the room. Everett needs to react to her accusations of pushing her away, and the fact that he’s in the bedroom he hasn’t been in for five years with memories at every turn. In every picture of his wife, he sees and hears her talking to him now and urging him to change. This freaks him out and makes him more determined to kill Finn. His reactions could make Ann freak out more, adding the humor I need.
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Robert Kerr- Challenging situations
What I learned is the opportunity to use these techniques to expand the conflict and generate more drama and audience appeal. This is extremely helpful as my script is based on a true story and I was initially more interested in an accurate portrayal of the linear timeline and not as focused on developing the characters. This will help me create a more character driven story with a compelling timeline.
SCENE 1 – Opening scene:
A. Logline: Fran shows up at her folks farm and announces she is getting a divorce.
B Essence: Fran is frantic and doesn’t know what her next step is. She is in need of a rescue.
C Brainstorm some changes
Goal: She’s applied for readmission to college but now doesn’t know if that dream is even possible.
Needs: She left her house with all her possessions, and her three year old daughter, packed in her VW Beetle. She has $100 to her name and no way out.
Value: Fran needs to emotional protect her daughter from her Native-American husbands denial of both her and her mixed-race daughter.
Wound: Fran has followed her husband to protest after protest in support of Native American rights. Now she is cast aside like an unwanted piece of clothing.
Physical: Fran has only worked part-time menial jobs and now that is not enough to support her and her daughter. She is more scared than at any other time in her life.
D. Quick Summary
Start off with Fran mailing her college application and then being served divorce papers. Response is anger; “After all the protests I followed him to and now I am discarded because of my race and the fact that our daughter is mixed race.”
SCENE 2
Logline: Colette announces she is injured and out for the rowing season.
Essence: The whole program is at risk as they now need a replacement rower with just weeks before spring training trip.
Brainstorm some changes:
Goal: First time the women have a sense of “team” and the opportunity to win at anything. This is a shared adversity they hadn’t anticipated.
Needs: The women’s crew needs a leader and they don’t have one .
Wound: All their shared blood, sweat and tears appears to dissolve and it now feels like all the other times they were told, as women, this was something not for them.
Value: For the women, this threatens their self-esteem and their belief they can be victorious.
Physical: The ability to find a replacement rower and get them in shape in time for the spring training trip is impossible to visualize.
Summary of new scene:
Scrape the collaboration technique of Fran solving the challenge. Focus on Fran funding her voice with more focus on the “Wound” and “Goal” aspect of the scene. Let the scene play out without a solution to build up the tension and drama.
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Title: Ed. Gillow Challenging Situations
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is stop collaborating with my characters and start challenging them.
Scene 1: INT. MOSES’ RANCH – EVENING
A. Current Scene Logline: Mr. Drachman (Banker) arrives at dinner time to let Moses know unless Moses pays $250 plus interest in two weeks, Drachman will foreclose on Moses’ ranch.
B. Essence: Moses has to convince Drachman that he can come up with the money in two weeks.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
Goal: to provide shelter for his family. Challenges: shorten timeframe from 2 weeks to 1 week, raise amount due. Limit options Moses has to raise money. Has other debts due. Has ranch hands to pay.
Needs: provide basic necessities for his family. Challenges: same as Goal challenges.
Values: honesty and spiritual. Challenges: does Moses lie to Drachman about his options? Appeal to Drachman to cut him some slack; does Moses compromise his religious values to placate Drachman?
Wound: distrust of white man. Challenges: feels as Native American he is being discriminated against; Drachman is white and represents Corporate America; are Native Americans affected or everyone?
Physical: Moses keeps his temper under control. Challenges: Moses quick to anger; won’t shake Drachman’s hand, Martha (Moses’ wife) has to intervene; Drachman fears for his life- won’t honor amended deal without handshake. Drachman (originally a timid type) is a formable sized man and not afraid of Moses- so not intimidated by Moses
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge. The original scene was really one dimensional. I want to incorporate all of the above challenges (in one shape or fashion) into the scene and really spice it up.
Scene 2: INT. MOSES’ RANCH – EVENING
A. Current Scene Logline: Moses calls in Boone to talk about how they will work together to catch Jose Villa.
B. Essence: Moses had killed Boone’s brother in self-defense (many years back). Boone believes Moses is guilty and murdered his brother. Moses must work past that so he and Boone can work together.
C. Brainstorm list of possible challenges.
Goal: convince Boone they can work together. Challenges: unable to “bury” hatchet- short-term or long term; convince Boone it was self defense as ruled by jury trial; work a truce if all else fails.
Needs: to get job done so he can provide for his family. Challenges: Boone is a loose cannon, unpredictable, is there a hidden agenda on Boone’s part; Moses’ distrust of white men; Boone is a racist and hates Indians; what’s Boone’s motivation to work with Moses?
Values: integrity and spiritual. Challenges: Boone will challenge Moses spiritually as he is a non-believer; Boone is unpredictable and a true anti-hero and will challenge Moses’ integrity; Boone will challenge Moses every step of the way
Wound: Moses’ distrust of white man. Challenges: Boone is white and a racist. Hates Indians. He is mean spirited. They do share a common goal of capturing Jose Villa
Physical: Moses must maintain his anger. Challenges: instead of a heated discussion, it becomes physical, and Martha must intervene.
D. Quick summary of how you will write the scene differently with the new challenge. As in Scene 1 example: I will interweave the challenges listed above and make this scene more dynamic. Originally It has plenty of conflict, but these new challenges will add more.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
Edward Gillow.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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Alfred Travis’s Challenging Situations
What I learned that is improving my writing is…? Take a good look at the situations of my characters.
SCENE 1 INT. BEDROOM – DAY
A. Current Scene Logline: BO, depressed, in bed in the middle of the day, pondering nothing, when his younger brother, CURTIS, shames him in front of his visitor, MARY.
B. Essence: What’s it going to take to get Bo up and engaged with his life?
C. Brainstorm: Show the depth of Bo’s troubled family relationship
D. Summary: Make the scene clear about family tension.
SCENE 2 INT. BEDROOM – DAY
New Logline: Bo expresses himself to Curtis’s hostility.
B. Essence: Bo stands up to wrong, abuse.
C. Brainstorm….
D. Summary….
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Zev Ledman Challenging Situations
Scene 1:
A. Logline – Judah is chased by Two Soldiers for defacing their idols and hides in Schoolhouse.
B. Essence: Judah’s teacher is arrested and later tortured to death for Judah’s antics.
C. Challenges: Soldiers chase Judah through the woods. Jonah, his teacher, is dragged away when they can’t find Judah. The King blames Jonah for his student’s vandalism and makes an example of him.
D. Judah races through the woods at night with soldiers chasing him with a torch. When the soldiers can’t locate Judah, they arrest Jonah. The King blames Jonah and has him tortured to death.
Scene 2:
A. Logline –While Miriam is healing at their home, Judah’s interest in her has grown into a desire to marry her.
B. Essence: Judah tries to find the right time to ask Miriam to marry him.
C. Judah gets interrupted while he’s expressing his interest in Miriam. Miriam stops Judah from finishing his proposal making Judah think she’s rejecting him.
D. As Judah is expressing his interest in Miriam, Eleazer sneaks up from behind and takes him to the ground until Judah’s turned the table on him.
What I’ve learned? I must put Interest Techniques in every scene otherwise, the scene is too boring.
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