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Day 12 Assignments
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<div>Tim Barley’s Outline with Intrigue</div>
What I learned from doing this assignment (as an extension of the previous two lessons) is that the pieces are in place, and all out of place as I have rewritten and reimagined things. I’ll need some time to adjust mysteries, open loops, etc. to complete this before writing…
TEASER
INT. HOSPITAL 25 YEARS AGO – NIGHT (INTRIGUE: SECRET)
An 8-year old Alex is with his mother and father outside a hospital room. There’s talk of his father’s father speaking about “Dark Men” and “being chased.” He wants to go with his dad into the room, but his mother holds him tightly. He breaks free and tries to open the door, but can’t. His mother pulls him away as a glow seeps under the door. He can feel the warmth of it as the light floods the whole scene…
Mystery: What’s happening behind that door?
ACT 1:
INT. OFFICE – DAY (INTRIGUE: MYSTERY)
Alex snaps out of his daydream as his boss drops more work on his desk with smug satisfaction. Billy, a hulking young go-getter and the new girl, Feenix, offer to help, but the boss yells at them to get back to their desk. Billy lingers and says that they taking out the new girl for drinks and socialize and he should come. Alex hems and haws but Billy wears him down and Alex agrees.
Mystery: Who’s the new girl in the office?
Open loop: What’s the deal with Billy who’s so big and knows so much?
Empathy/Distress: It’s so hard for Alex to commit, knowing he just wants to be “normal.”
INT. CLUB – EVENING (INTRIGUE: STRANGE BEHAVIOR)
The group is talking at a booth in a fancy bar, asking Feenix all about her. Alex, as is typical not wanting to get too into personal lives, gets up to get drinks. At the bar, a woman strikes up a conversation with him. He turns on the charm and looks like he’s going to close the deal. And then it fizzles out, he says something stupid and she walks away. Feenix is there. They smile at each other. She laughs and holds her fingers closely, mouthing “sooooo close…” Alex pays the bill, and walks back with beers.
Setup: There’s a lot more to Alex that we or he knows
Empathy/Distress: Trying to pick someone up in a bar
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – LATER (INTRIGUE: DECEPTION)
Alex arrives home to find his stoner neighbor, Allistar, sitting on their landing, smoking a bong. He offers up one to Alex, who thinks about whether or not he should smoke tonight. He partakes. As the pot is hitting him, Allistar says he’s sorry that he didn’t hook up tonight even though he could’ve. Alex tries to grasp at this, looking at Allistar, who seems so far away and so ancient. “What?” “Yeah, she was cute.” Alex desperately tries to cling to alertness but is drawn down into sleep.
Open loop: What could a stoner neighbor know about the goings on of Alex?
Mystery: What did Allistar mean by his comments?
Setup: There’s much more to Allistar than “stoner neighbor”
ACT 2:
INT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – MORNING (INTRIGUE: STRANGE BEHAVIOR)
Alex wakes up confused and groggy, questions swirling inside his head. He looks at his phone and panics when he realizes he’s going to be late. He jumps into action, getting ready. Everything is in its place and he is ready in record time, surprising himself. AND, he feels so much more alive than he did minutes ago!
Set up: How did Alex rally?
EXT. ALLISTAR’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS (INTRIGUE: STRANGE BEHAVIOR)
Realizing he has time, Alex locks up his apartment and knocks on Allistar’s door. Allistar is annoyingly hungover and still stoned and not much help even at Alex’s insistence for answers. Allistar wishes him a good day. He never does that…
Open loop: Why is Alex not as hung over as Allistar?
Empathy/distress: Trying to get answers to your questions and not getting any.
INT. OFFICE – DAY (INTRIGUE: CONSPIRACY)
The entire office is in a late day all hands staff meeting. It’s boring and it shows. But, the sadistic self-please boss has more work for Alex to do. The boss is not happy when Billy and Feenix offer to help with the workload, but when Feenix assertively says that it must be important needs to get done, he feels compelled to allow it. The meeting breaks up and they agree to work in here as their “war room.” Alex says that he’ll make a coffee run.
Setup: Working late, getting coffee never equals “uneventful night”
Open loop: Why are Billy and Feenix so keep on helping Alex all the time?
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – EVENING (INTRIGUE: MYSTERY)
Alex is in the coffee house, making their oder. The d-bag coffee house nemesis barista seemingly purposely makes Alex’s order incorrectly, something he apparently always does just to fuck with Alex. Alex seethes, closes his eyes and wishes this coffee gone and the correct order in his hands without this usual bullshit. There’s a jolt, like a bad edit, and the d-bag barista confusedly hands him an empty cup, as another barista hands him his order, wishing him a good night and to be careful out there.
Mystery: What’s the deal with the barista hating on Alex?
Open loop: Will we find out what happened back there?
Empathy/distress: Feel for Alex at the whims of a barista
Payoff: Nice to see Alex get what he wanted and the barista what he deserved
Setup: Whatever just happened with Alex, it’s going to cause trouble.
EXT. DARK STREET – LATER (INTRIGUE: IMMINENT THREAT)
Alex is walking back to the office with coffees in hand. Up ahead, a shadow breaks free from another bigger shadow in Alex’s path and rises up in the shape of a black suited man. He stops dead in his tracks and watches it. It moves toward him. Alex crosses the street as another shadow man appears. They are human shaped, in black suits and hats, but no discernible features. The second one moves toward him. He drops the coffee and runs down the center of the street and corner for his building.
Empathy/distress: Who are things things about to attack him?
Setup: These things seem like they have and move with a singular purpose.
EXT. ALLEYWAY – CONTINUOUS (INTRIGUE: IMMINENT THREAT)
Alex runs into a group of three ne-er-do-wells aka muggers. He doesn’t even stop as they are about to mug him, tripping and falling against a car and onto the sidewalk. The shadows round the corner and cut through the muggers, who die screaming. Alex sits and watches as they turn toward him. He scrambles up and can hear sirens approach. Alex runs, not sure which way to go now. A hand grabs him and pulls him into a doorway. It’s his neighbor. On the building above, a dark figure is watching.
Empathy/distress: Thinks he is getting away. Runs into more trouble.
ACT 3:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (INTRIGUE: MYSTERY)
Alex is breathing hard and confused as Allistar leads him away from the gathering flashers of police cars, trying to answer Alex’s questions while leading them home. It’s dark and even though they are trying not to be seen, they are traveling in the well-lit parts of the street. Allistar won’t answer questions, but is telling him to run. They come to an area they recognize and slow down a bit, knowing they are on the right track home.
Open loops: What’s going on? What were those things?
Empathy/distress: Feel like your in way over your head when all you wanted was a normal
day for once.
INT. BOMBED OUT BUILDING – DAY (INTRIGUE: INTRIGUING WORLD)
13 men are bound on their knees, threatened with beheading. One is being held with a knife to his throat. He pretends not to understand their language, but speaks fluently as they are about to kill him. He calmly tells them he can’t die and what is going to happen next. They all laugh. But, Edris convinces his captor to make his hood off, and then he quickly somehow kills every terrorist as a unit of private merc types burst in, taking the last man out. They are mad they didn’t get any fun, but Edris tells his mercs that the hooded bound men are equally bad and they can be taken to The Vault. He’s given a dossier by their leader. He pens it and finds a picture of Alex.
Open loops: Why is this man so dangerous? What does he have planned?
Setup: We have a potential villain out there.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (INTRIGUE: SECRET IDENTITY)
Allistar and Alex have made their way almost home. But, a black old style car races up. Like its occupants, it doesn’t really have boundaries either. The No Things get out. Allistar readies for a fight, ready to defend Alex, but another figure drops down in front of them and blinds the No Things away. She turns around, it’s Feenix. Both Alex and Allistar are in awe. She tells them they have to get out of here now.
Payoff: Feenix, the new girl in the office, is some kind of super hero!
ACT 4:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT (INTRIGUE: MYSTERY)
They are all walking in silence. For Alex it’s confusion, not knowing how to ask questions. For Allistar and Feenix, it’s something else. Feenix asks if Alex is alright. Alex says he is. She holds his hands and tells him to control his breathing and his heart rate and stop emanating. Alex says he doesn’t know what that means and as Allistar is about to say something. Feenix tells him to shut the fuck up and gives Alex a bottle of water to drink. He drinks the whole thing before she can stop him. They walk back to the apartment building in silence.
Mystery: What is going on? Who are these two really? Why are they so familiar with
each other?
Open loops: what was in that bottle of water?
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT (INTRIGUE: SECRET)
Alex lets himself in and Feenix says she’ll be in in a second. Allistar moves toward his apartment when Feenix lays into him. Alex can hear they talking It’s apparent they are siblings. What they are talking about doesn’t make sense to Alex. Something about watching him. About his family. There’s more, so he opens the door and tells them to answer questions or get away from him. They come in.
Empathy/distress: Alex is left out of the conversation that has to do with him.
EXT. SMALL PRIVATE AIRPORT IN LA – NIGHT INTO INT. MOVING LIMO (INTRIGUE: MYSTERY)
Edris now cleaned up and now dressed impeccably, disembarks the jet to a waiting car, the driver nodding quietly. They drive off. He leafs through the dossier. Where to start? He looks at family history. Names. Companies. Father. Mother. Ancient runes and texts and trees and things we can’t comprehend… He tells the driver they need to go to The Offices.
Open loops: What’s Edris’ mission in LA?
ACT 5:
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – SUNRISE (INTRIGUE: CONSPIRACY)
It’s been a long night. Alex is tired and looking at them in disbelief. He tells them none of it can be true. It’s impossible. They tell him his real name. His real father, the mother he doesn’t speak to and his inheritance. What he must do. What he must become. Now he feels angry. His life yesterday was his. Boring. Even-keeled. Just the way he liked it. He tells them to get out. They leave.
Empathy/distress: Alex just found out a lot about his life that he didn’t know and doesn’t
like it at all.
Mystery: Who and what are these people and how do they know his family?
Open loops: what’s is Alex going to do with all this new knowledge?
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS (INTRIGUE: HIDDEN AGENDA)
Feenix and Allistar talk about what’s going on. Allistar is pissed and asks why she is here. She tells them that she’s here because the family asked her to take the lead. Older sister has to tell her baby brother that he has fucked up. They start fighting, small at first like brother and sister, but it gets intense as they knock down Allistar’s door. Outside, they hear Alex coming out of his apartment, ready for work. “It’s a work day.” Allistar asks what they fuck. Feenix says it’s a concoction, thinking it would work last night. But, it took longer than expected and it won’t last forever…
Open loops: how long will it be before Alex regains his memory of last night?
Irony: Alex just learned everything but now has forgotten it thanks to Feenix.
INT. OFFICE – DAY (INTRIGUE: DECEPTION)
Alex walks into the office as makes a beeline for his desk just as he reaches it. He asks Alex what happened to him last night and about the muggers getting killed and the investigation. Alex tells Billy that he ran into some friends and lost track of time. Billy tells him that he was left all night to work on everything but he didn’t mind. He leaves some files about some historical items that “are wrong.” Alex questions how he knows. He says he just does.
Mystery: Who is Billy?
Open Loops: Since he dropped his coffees around the corner, will he be connected to the
killings of the muggers?
Setup: there’s an investigation brewing
Empathy/distress: having to lie to coworkers
INT. OFFICE – EVENING (INTRIGUE: WOUND)
Alex packs up his stuff to leave for the night. Feenix is looking on and Alex smiles at her, ways goodnight. He smiles back and she tells him to be careful. She is worried about how long the drug will work.
Irony: Feenix told him everything, but he doesn’t remember thanks to her.
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – EVENING (INTRIGUE: HIDDEN AGENDA)
Alex enters his dark apartment feeling something is wrong. He turns on the light to find a charismatic Edris sitting in his favorite chair. Edris tells him that it’s good to see him; he is there to set the record straight. Alex says he has no idea what he is talking about. Edris says, “Oh, my dear Feenix, what. Did. You. Do?”
Open loops: what’s the relationship between Edris and Alex.
Empathy/distress: There’s a strange, charismatic man in the house
Setup: There’s so much mystery now
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Subject line: (Laurie Brown’s) Outline with Intrigue
What I learned from doing this assignment is how each pass elevates the script. It really makes so much sense to only choose one main intrigue for each scene in order for it to have an impact. Even if there could be more, using the distinctions of each makes for a more powerful scene.
INT. LOCATION – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE OUTLINE: THE CORP TRUTH
Teaser:Essence: Geri Martin adores her mother and would do anything to make her happy, including being a fill-in for her cold, absent father, until she finds her mother in a pool of blood.
INT. MARTIN KITCHEN – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD
Geri (15) pretends to be her father, Col. Martin, to her depressed mother Bonnie Martin, in a monologue aimed at making up for him missing their anniversary. She promises a special surprise and dinner at the Officer’s Club.
Start: Geri eats breakfast pretending to be her father and her mom is laughing and having fun
Challenging Situation: Her mother is unhappy because her father isn’t home on their anniversary
Conflict: Geri takes the pills away from her mom and says she doesn’t need them today, It’s going to be a good day.
Action: she plays the pretend good husband and says she has a surprise tonight before they go out to dinner
Finish: As Geri heads off for school her mom takes her valium.
Open Loop: Who is Geri imitating?
Mystery: What is the surprise she promises.
Empathy/Distress: Geri is taking care of her mother who is depressed.
Payoff:
Irony: Daughter is taking care of the mother.
Setup: For Colonel Martin. For Geri’s loyalty and sense of responsibility. For
trouble with Bonnie Martin. For their love for eachother.
EXT SCHOOL – DAY – MYSTERY
Geri races the taunting boys out the door with something in her hand that she is racing home to share her special surprise with her mom. Surprised, she must jimmy open the locked door running in the house to find her mom in a pool of blood.
Turning Point: Geri finds her mom in a pool of blood a hat and $100 bill at the scene.
Start: Gerry is happy and excited and beating the boys in a race
Challenging Situation: The boys taunt her when she runs and she’s in a
hurry.
Conflict: She gets home and the door is locked!
Action: She jimmies the lock like she knows how, runs into the kitchen
Finish: Finds her mother in a pool of blood.
Open Loop: How did she die. Whose hat?
Mystery: Is she dead? Who killed her?
Empathy/Distress: Poor Geri AND Bonnie.
Payoff: The straight A report card was the surprise.
Irony: Her paper hat and the hat at the scene are identical.
Setup: The hat is evidence.
Act 1:
Essence: Geri snaps a photo of the scene and swears to solve her mother’s mysterious death once she has the information AND the power to demand justice.
INT. MARTIN KITCHEN – DAY – WOUND
An Army hat, identical to her paper hat is at the scene. She puts on the hat and reads her mom her report card. She searches the house for a camera and takes a photo vowing to find the cause of her death but first she must gain the power she needs to bring the perpetrator to justice. Then KNOCK on the door.
Start: Geri drops her paper hat in the blood next to an identical Army hat.
Challenging Situation: Challenge her need for security and loyalty and goal to
make her mother happy. Now her mother is dead.
Conflict: What can she do now for her mother? Is that her father’s hat?
Action: She looks around the house suspiciously. She comes back with a
camera. She moves the hat and takes a picture.
Finish: She puts on the hat and reads her report card to her mom. Someone
knocks on the door.
Open Loop: Can Geri solve the crime?
Mystery: How did her mother die? Who belongs to the hat.
Empathy/Distress: Geri has an absent father and now a dead mother.
She didn’t deserve this.
Payoff:
Irony: Play hat falls in blood. Real hat left behind.
• Setup: The hat is her father’s. Her hat falls in the blood. Absent Father to dead Mother. Hat (and her role for her mother) is permanently wounded by her mother’s death. Both are such symbols of her wounds – sense of responsibility and loyalty (military service). But the wound and her resolve, loyal and responsible, take her from the play hat to the real thing. Her goal.
INT. JOHNSON LIVING ROOM – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA
Mrs. Johnson, makes nasty remarks to Geri about Col Martin as they watch the Police interrogate him from the living room window. He calls off the investigation, claiming authority as the house is on the Army base.
EXT. MARTIN HOUSE – DAY – WOUND
The police leave and Col Martin goes into the house and brings the cat over to Mrs. Johnson’s. As he leaves, Geri runs out begs to go with him. He says no, he’ll be back in the morning. She lies about the hat. He says he doesn’t mean the stupid paper hat.
Start: Geri watches her father and police from Mrs. Johnson’s window as Mrs. J makes snide remarks about CM– Geri keeps wiping off the table, Mrs. Johnson is not surprised.
Challenging Situation: The police are questioning her dad about her mom’s death. What will happen to her?
Conflict: Mrs. Johnson disparages CM. Col Martin and police argue about jurisdiction. Col Martin and Geri argue about her staying or going with him and about where’s the hat. Says her stupid paper hat is in the mess your mother made. Mrs. Johnson disparages CM.
Action: CM claims jurisdiction and calls off the investigation.
Finish: Colonel Martin leaves
Open Loop: How did the mother die?
Mystery: Did he do it? Where will Geri go?
Empathy/Distress: He did lose his wife. Geri her mother.
Payoff: He knows about the hat.
Irony:
Setup: What’s happening tomorrow.
INT. MRS. JOHNSON’S KITCHEN – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA
Turning Point: At breakfast, Mrs. Johnson tells Geri about her father’s plans for her. Geri, through her tears declares that military school will be perfect for what she has in mind. Colonel Martin picks up Geri and they drive off as the cat looks on from the front yard. Geri looks strong and sure of herself and bucking up for the worst.
Start Mrs. Johnson tells Geri about military school
Challenging situation: Geri si losing everything.
Conflict: Her dad doesn’t even have the decency to tell her himself
Action: She sees it as a means to an end. Declares it is perfect.
Finish: Colonel Martin and Geri drive off after breakfast. Cat meowing, Geri
acting strong.
Open Loop: What are her plans to achieve her goal.
Mystery: How will she do in military school
Empathy/Distress: Poor thing. First her mom, now this?
Payoff: That’s where she’s going
Irony: Military was the cause of her mother’s unhappiness and now she is
entering this strange world.
Setup: Geri will be fine in military school.
Act 2:
Essence: Col Martin drops Geri at Military school entrusting her with his friend Headmaster Learned who says he will “take good care of her” like he did for Leonard.
INT. MILITARY SCHOOL – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER
Geri tells them her goal to be a Colonel. CM rolls his eyes. The headmaster Learned promises that he will take good care of her – like Leonard.
Start: HL & CM talk about Geri when she is right there. She gets shushed by HL & CM after she tells them what she hopes to accomplish in military school.
Challenging Situation: Geri has no say in anything and no idea her future.
Conflict: Then Geri’s stated expectations and CM’s, who rolls his eyes.
Action: CM tells HL to teach Geri what it means to be a girl in the military.
Finish: Geri feels very insecure and HL is in control.
Open Loop: What does it mean to be a girl in the military
Mystery: What does HL mean re: taking good care. Who is leonard?
Empathy/Distress: Poor dear. All these authoritarian men and no mom.
Payoff: Geri says what she has planned per her convo with Mrs. Johnson
Irony:
Setup: Leonard
EXT. MILITARY SCHOOL – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD
Hdm. Learned gives Geri a tour of the campus. The girls whisper to each other. The boys make cat-calls. Learned threatens Leonard for violating boy’s curfew. Leonard makes a smart-ass remark and HL hits him.
Start: CL and Geri take a friendly tour. School is out and the students crowd around.
Challenging Situation: Geri gets stared at and remarks are whispered.
Conflict: Leonard makes a snide remark and the group laughs.
Action: HL spots Leonard and calls him over.
Finish: Learned hits Leonard. The students disperse. Geri looks scared.
Open Loop: Is this Geri’s destiny under Learned
Mystery: Who is Leonard to Colonel Martin?
Empathy/Distress: Geri must be terrified of him.
Payoff: He’ll take care of her just like Leonard and he hits Leonard
Irony:
Setup: What will he do to Geri
INT. MILITARY SCHOOL BUNK HOUSE – NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA
After the tour, HL takes Geri to her bunk and searches Geri’s bags. She fights him to no avail. Bette and Marge look on from either side of Geri’s curtained bunk.
Turning Point: Headmaster Learned finds the hat and threatens her graduation if she says anything to anyone about the hat. Ever. Geri cleans her bed area and goes to the bathroom and starts washing her hands.
Start: HL is positive that Geri will like it there. Geri meets Bette and Marge.
Challenging Situation: She is a stranger here
Conflict: Learned wants to look through her stuff.
Action: He finds the hat and confiscates it.
Finish: He threatens her graduation if she every talks about it again.
•
Open Loop: Who’s hat is it?
Mystery: What does Learned know aobut the hat.
Empathy/Distress: Geri is shy, scared and away from her normal reality.
Forever.
Payoff: ??
Irony:
Setup: Bette and Marge
Act 3:
Essence: Geri searches everywhere, everyday after school for the hat. Geri she makes friends with the girls, especially Bette – but not so much Marge.
EXT. SCHOOL YARD – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA
Geri races the boys and gets the girls respect, especially Bette, who comes from an athletic family. Marge, Bette’s best friend acts jealous.
Start: Geri races a few girls then gets talked into a race with the school’s best female runner.
Challenging Situation: It’s Marge.
Conflict: The boys are watching and rooting for Marge and challenge Geri to
beat her.
Action: Geri beats Marge, then takes on Leonard, and beats him.
Finish: All the girls respect Geri now. Especially Bette is impressed.
Open Loop:
Mystery: Leonard is the best boy athlete.
Empathy/Distress: Want to see Geri turn the bullying around.
Payoff: Another reason for Marge to be competing. The first was sharing
Bette.
Irony:
Setup: Leonard is the best athlete and is the chosen one to go into the army – maybe Korea.
SERIES OF SCENES – IMMINENT THREAT
MOVING – Geri runs from the playing field and scours the campus. She looks everywhere, then goes back to the Dining Hall. REPEAT.
Start; Geri checks off the map areas that she has scoured.
Challenging situation: Students are everywhere and it’s hard to get away
from them to really look.
Conflict: She gets caught a few times by Learned but has excuses.
Action: She lies about what she’s doing.
Finish: Back to the mess hall, she eats quietly, but defeated after no success.
Open Loop: Will Geri get the hat back?
Mystery: can she find the hat?
Empathy/Distress: Will she get caught looking by Learned?
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: She finds some clue which is a set up for finding it b4 commencement
INT. BUNK HOUSE – NIGHT – WOUND
Geri awakens to voices between her and Marge’s bed. Then she discovers Bette in her bed. They hold each other in fear and fall back to sleep. She dreams of being held by her mother as a little girl.
Start: Geri awakens to voices and a curtain pulling shut
Challenging Situation: Someone is in Marge’s bed
Conflict: She gets scared, then discovers someone in her bed – Bette.
Action: Bette shushes her and pulls her close. they listen
• Finish: dreaming of her mother.
Open Loop:
Mystery: who is coming into marge’s bed
Empathy/Distress: comforting a scary situation
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: for Bette wanting Geri
INT. BUNK HOUSE – NIGHT – EMPATHY DISTRESS
Next night, Geri is awakened again and scared Bette gets in bed with her, they cuddle again and she feels her mother’s comfort. Bette kisses her. Geri calls her a pervert. Bette breaks into tears and runs from the room. Geri ocd’s.
Start: Now a regular, Bette climbs in Geri’s bed the next night.
Challenging Situation: Geri missing her mother.
Conflict: Bette kisses her and she freaks out.
Action: Geri jumps out of bed and calls Bette a pervert.
Finish: Bette feels rejected. Geri does ocd.
Open Loop: is Bette gay?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: for both of them
Payoff:
Irony: she likes the affection but not the kiss
Setup: is Bette gay?
Series of scenes – INTRIGUING WORLD
Photos of Bette, Marge and Geri changing from 15 to 18. Geri showing her rank increasing on her uniform. Bette with new boyfriends on her side, one after the other. Marge with academics honors, Learned often at her side.
Start: For each character – show where they start out 15.
Challenging Situation: military school success
Conflict: Marge and Geri overlap on academic excellence;
Action: They all accomplished their goals
Finish: Geri is alone. Bette is with a boy and Marge is with HL.
EXT. SCHOOL YARD – DAY – MYSTERY
Open Loop: what”s the deal with Marge and HL, Bette and the boys
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: No family in the picture
Payoff: Bette;s obviously not gay
Irony: Geri is winning the medals but she is alone.
Setup: For Geri to raise in the ranks as her expertise.
The teachers set up chairs for graduation as Geri is runs all over campus looking for the hat. Headmaster Learned is signing diplomas. Makes Marge Valedictorian. Sets aside Geri’s. Bette’s parents show up with a new convertible for graduation. Bette tells her parents she will not go to the family’s alma mater or marry Ron Paul!
Start: Beautiful spring day – everyone happy – except Geri who can’t find something and is desparately looking everywhere.
Challenging Situation: She doesn’t have much time. Bette’s super rich parents and their agenda.
Conflict: If she gets caught she could not graduate?
Action: Learned gives Marge valedictorian, signs Bette’s, does he sign Geri’s
Finish: Will Geri graduate?
Open Loop: Where’s he hat
Mystery: Will Geri find it? Get caught? Graduate?
Empathy/Distress: Last chance to find the hat.
Payoff: She finds it before she leaves.
Irony:
Setup: What will she do with the hat
EXT. MILITARY CAMPUS – DAY – MYSTERY
Start: Geri is nervous and itchy waiting to get diploma
Challenging Situation: Still doesn’t have the hat. Last chance.
Conflict: Last chance and both Learned and Colonel Martin are both hovering
Action: She runs to Learned’s office, finds something, and gets back to the
reception
Finish: An accomplished Geri talks to her father, cool as a cucumber
•
EXT. MILITARY SCHOOL CAMPUS – DAY – IMMINENT DANGER
Marge crosses the stage for her diploma, then Bette and at the end Geri. After she gets it, she immediately takes off running, ransacks Learned’s office and shows back up at the reception to meet up with Colonel Martin. At the reception, Bette tells her parents she will not go to the family’s alma mater or marry Ron Paul in spite of her graduation gift – a car!
Open Loop: Where’s the hat now
Mystery: Will she get found out?
Empathy/Distress: She’s risking graduation!
Payoff: She’s got the hat and she graduated
Irony:
Setup:
Geri talks to her father, Colonel Martin, at the reception. They argue about Geri’s plan for her future. Geri cuts the conversation short when CM flags down Learned. Learned takes him to get the hat. It’s gone. Colonel loses it over Learned’s messy incompetence while Geri and Bette speed toward the next leg of their journey.
Start: Geri is nervous about the hat talking to her dad.
Challenging Situation: Geri is nervous being with her Dad after such a long
time and esp now that she has the hat.
Conflict: She wants to get into the Army and he’s against it. She wants to go to
nurse’s school he wants her to get married. They argue.
Action: Geri cuts the conversation short and he goes with Learned to get the
hat. It’s gone.
Finish: Geri, Bette and Marge take off care free with the hat and diploma in
hand toward the next leg of her journey. Valedictorian, Convertible and the hat
Act 4:
Open Loop: Will colonel martin defeat Geri?
Mystery: Where’s the hat.
Empathy/Distress: We want Geri to succeed against the two of them
Payoff: Poetic justice for Geri.
Irony: She defeats those with the power and the hat.
Setup: She’s free of her father, at least she thinks. He makes some kind of
threat that gets paid off at her graduation from Nurses School.
Essence: Five Years Later. Geri, Bette and Marge graduate from nurse’s school and go to work for the Army. Geri meets Leo at the Officer’s club.
INT. HOSPITAL AUDITORIUM – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER
Geri, surprised to see her father at her nursing school graduation, spots Col. Martin talking to her commanding officer, Leo, about his time in Korea.
Start: Geri spots her dad at graduation from nursing school.
Challenging Situation: She hasn’t seen him since her graduation 5 years ago.
Conflict: Col. Martin knows Leo, her commanding officer
Action: Colonel Martin commands Leo to meet him in his office later
Finish: Geri wonders what’s going on.
•
Open Loop: What does Col. Martin want with Leo?
Mystery: Does CM know Leo?
Empathy/Distress: Why doesn’t CM just leave Geri alone?
Payoff: ?? Something said by her Dad at the Military School graduation that
would lead to him show up here after 5 years.
Irony:
Setup: What happened in Korea causing Leo’s scars
INT. DOI OFFICE – DAY – CONSPIRACY – SECRET IDENTITY
Colonel Martin promotes Leo as secret operative to the DOI. He instructs Leo to take good care of Geri, but not like you did in Korea. Leo says “Yes sir. I understand”
Start: Very formal talk between them in front of secretary.
Challenging Situation: CM wants Leo to interfere with Geri’s career. Get her
pregnant and get married.
Conflict: But he is is in love with Marge.
Action: He accepts the promotion- says he will see what he can do.
Finish: CM says take good care of her, but not like he did in Korea (threat)
Open Loop: How will Leo take good care of her?
Mystery: What did he do in Korea.
Empathy/Distress: Another intervention by CM against Geri.
Payoff: Leo isn’t a war hero?
Irony: They both know HL?
Setup: Leo’s directive to go after Geri.
INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – NIGHT – DECEPTION – HIDDEN AGENDA
Leo approaches Geri and Marge at Officer’s Club. He flirts with Geri. He tells Geri how he was hurt in combat in Korea and that is why he wears the eye patch. Geri likes him. After Geri leaves Leo apologizes to Marge.
Start: Leo flirts with Geri. Ignores Marge.
Challenging Situation: Geri is new at officer’s club. Uncomfortable. Shy.
Conflict: He’s flirting but he’s her commanding officer.
Action: He asks her out.
Finish: Apologizes to Marge after Geri goes.
•
Start: Geri is cleaning the apartment, happy, not obsessively.
Challenging Situation: Marge comes in looking rough.
Conflict: Geri asks Marge what happens and Marge is put off
Open Loop: What is Leo doing with Geri?
Mystery: How does Leo know Marge?
Empathy/Distress: There’s a secret and Geri is out.
Payoff: So he’s a war hero?
Irony:
Setup:
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT – SECRET
Turning Point: Marge, who lives with Geri, comes in late, disheveled, but happy. She makes up a story. Geri says how much she likes Leo but asks if it’s okay to date your commanding officer. Marge tells Geri to STOP cleaning.
Action: Marge criticizes Geri for her compulsive nature
Finish: Geri goes to bed feeling bad about their friendship.
Open Loop: What is going on between Marge and Leo
Mystery: What is Marge and Leo’s history
Empathy/Distress: Geri is being betrayed
Payoff: Geri’s cleaning is compulsive
Irony:
Setup: Marge will betray Geri when it comes to Leo.
ACT. 5 Marge gets sick and quarantined and Leo gets engaged to Geri.
INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – NIGHT – WOUND
Leo wines and dines Geri with a jealous Marge staying home every night alone.Start: Leo picks up thrilled Geri from the apartment and they go out.
Challenging Situation: Marge is feeling really jealous and left out.
Conflict: Plus Marge hasn’t been feeling well. Vomiting every morning.
Action: Leo is upset. He says next time she is sick she should call him.
Finish: Geri wonders why Leo seems so concerned about Marge.
Open Loop: What will Leo do next?
Mystery: Why is Marge sick?
Empathy/Distress: Poor Marge.
Payoff: Maybe she gets sick to get his attention? Sets that up when they go
out earlier. Is this a repeat of what happened to her as a child? Polio?
Irony: What she is doing (feigning illness) will get her isolated vs. sympathy.
Digging her own grave.
Setup: Marge’s wound revisited.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER
Marge is throwing up violently. Leo puts Marge into isolation, under the rules of the Dept of Interior.
Start: Marge is throwing up.
Challenging Situation: Geri is scared.
Conflict: She says she is going to call Leo. Marge begs her not to.
Action: Leo takes Marge away.
Finish: Leo tells Geri that Marge has been put into isolation.
Open Loop: Where did Leo put Marge?
Mystery: why is Marge sick?
Empathy/Distress: Now Geri is alone and afraid? Poor Marge?
Payoff: Something about what happened to Marge as a child.
Irony:
Setup: For what happens in isolation.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT – WOUND
Leo gives Geri an engagement ring after dinner. Geri is a virgin and very uncomfortable but makes love with Leo.
Start: Leo gives Geri a ring and she is blissful. Somehow this heals her wound. – family.
Challenging Situation: Geri is a virgin and Leo wants to make love.
Conflict: Geri wants to please Leo but wants to wait.
Action: Leo penetrates her and ejaculates. She remembers Marge’s painful
cries from her bed at Military School.
Finish: Leo leaves. Geri strips the bed and washes herself compulsively.
Open Loop: What will Leo do per his promise to CM
Mystery: What would Marge think? Where is Marge?
Empathy/Distress: She’s afraid of sex.
Payoff: Gets married like Colonel Martin wants.
Irony: She wants family but is afraid to conceive.
Setup: For mystery as to why she would call off something she’s so happy
about?
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – IMMINENT THREAT
Geri gets sick like Marge. She covers it up. She’s planning a wedding plus she gets notified to show up at the Enlistment Office for her interview to join the Army.
Start: Series of scenes of showing Geri planning her wedding with Leo at the Officer’s club when she hears that she has been selected to go before the enlistment office
Challenging Situation: Geri is not feeling well and her OCD is flaring.
Conflict: She must hide her OCD and current illness from enlistment board
Action: She practices answering questions in front of the mirror.
Finish: Leo asks her what’s going on. She says it’s her time of month.
Open Loop: What steps will Geri take to accomplish her goal?
Mystery: What’s wrong with her health?
Empathy/Distress: Bad timing! Bummer.
Payoff:
Irony: She’s really close and now she gets sick.
Setup: The beginning of the lies.
ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY – DECEPTION
Turning Point: Geri covers up her illness and OCD at the interview and lies about her pre-existing condition and current state of health.
• Start: Geri is a nervous wreck in the Enlistment Office
Challenging Situation: She must cover up her illness and OCD.
Conflict: If she tells the truth she’s out. If she lies she will always live in fear
that they find out.
Action: She wordsmith’s the interview yet we are on the edge of our seats
Finish: She blows off Leo, exhausted and morally challenged by her lies.
Open Loop: Will Geri succeed at becoming Col?
Mystery: Why is she ill.
Empathy/Distress: Bad timing!
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: For the the consequences of her lying at her interview
Act 6
Essence: Geri signs the paperwork and gets accepted into the Army but is conflicted about Leo contract she signed. She calls off her engagement.
INT. ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY – STRANGE BEHAVIOR
Geri reviews the health questionnaire and paperwork to join and signs. She calls Bette and mentions the paperwork. Bette tells her that she shouldn’t sacrifice herself for the Army, making Geri angry and wants to get off the phone. Bette tells her something we don’t hear and Geri writes down a phone number behind NYC.
Start: Geri learns she passes the interview and should come down and fill out the paperwork.
Challenging Situation: Geri gets asked about health conditions on the questionnaire
Conflict: Geri and Bette argue about joining the Army and what they must give up.
Action: Geri gets angry b
Finish: Geri writes down NYC and a telephone number.
Open Loop: What will Geri do to accomplish her goal? NYC? What is she upset about now?
Mystery: What/Who’s in NYC
Empathy/Distress: Why is she so mad.
Payoff: Geri was upset about the paperwork when she signed it. A small
reveal. But now an open loop.
Irony: Geri is upset yet she has good news. Whatup?
Setup: Bette “there’s more to life than giving up who you are to the Army.
INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – DAY – HIDDEN LAYER
Geri meets with Leo to plan the wedding but instead calls off their engagement giving no explanation. Leo loses it and threatens Geri that she’ll never reach her goal as long as he is in charge. Geri walks out on him.
Start: Geri meets Leo at Officer’s Club. She’s nervous. Leo’s happy.
Challenging Situation: Leo notices her change in demeanor and starts drilling
her.
Conflict: She says she’s conflicted but won’t say why.
Action: She calls of the engagement.
Finish: Leo’s furious, threatens her. She’s relieved – why?
Open Loop: What’s next for Geri? What will Leo do next?
Mystery: Why did she call it off?
Empathy/Distress: This will not end well.
Payoff: Maybe something from her call with Bette.
Irony: She has what she wants and calls it off?
Setup: For Leo going rogue on Geri.
INT. ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY – HIDDEN AGENDA
Lock In: Geri takes some medicine and gets fitted for her Army Uniform. She requests to be stationed at the base she grew up on.
INT. BUS STATION – DAY – SECRET
Dressed in her new Army Uniform, Geri boards a bus for NYC.Start: Geri takes milk of magnesia before breakfast and goes for a fitting.
Challenging Situation: She feels sick.
Conflict: How to hide her illness.
Action: Ask to go to base she grew up on.
Finish: Go to bus station. Board bus to NYC.
Open Loop: What will Geri do now that she’s in.
Mystery: What’s in New York
Empathy/Distress: So happy for her now
Payoff: She goes to NYC not just writes it down.
Irony: She has her own hat now.
Setup: for the next Season – What will Leo do next? What’s next for Geri? Why her home base? What’s in NYC? Where is Marge? What will CM say to Leo? Add a scene before this that shows Marge’s water breaking? Do so kind of reveal that keeps the mom’s mysterious death alive. Where is Bette and what is happening in Korea. What did Leo do in Korea? How does Leo know Marge? What will happen to the baby? Who got Marge pregnant? What does the Dept of Interior do?
-
Wendy Weising’s Outline With Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is that I keep thinking that I can’t possible find anymore intrigue—sometimes this is true, but sometimes I find more.
TEASER
EXT. BATTLEFIELD—DAY: Intriguing World
Jane, in full ancient battle gear, hesitates at the top of a hill. Her soldiers look at her for a sign to charge forward. Her second in command nudges her. Jane yells the charge and leads her small army into battle. When she finds the enemy leader, she knows him, and he knows her. She attacks him first. She pins him to the ground, but he knocks her sword away, so she grabs his throat and begins to squeeze hard.
Open Loop: Why does Jane seem to hate this man and want him dead?
Mystery: Is this a battle from history?
Empathy/Distress: Jane is hesitant to charge into battle.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: How do Jane and the enemy commander know each other? Why do they recognize each other.
INT. BEDROOM—DAY: Strange Behavior
Jane is on top of her husband, Dan, squeezing his neck. She is fierce, and he is scared. He wrestles her off him, yells her name, and slaps her across the face. She wakes up. When he wants to know what’s got into her, she tells him about her dream. He laughs hysterically because she couldn’t hurt a fly.
Open Loop: If Jane can’t hurt a fly, why was Dan so afraid of her?
Mystery: Dan is truly alarmed at how fierce Jane is. It scares him.
Empathy/Distress: Dan makes fun of Jane.
Payoff: Jane’s having a dream, and the man is her husband.
Irony: A woman who couldn’t hurt a fly is fighting a battle and killing people.
Setup:
ACT 1
EXT. SOCCER FIELD—DAY: Wound
Jane and her younger son, Michael, watch her son Josh play soccer. When Josh lets a ball into the goal and the coach belittles him loudly, Michael wants her to do something about it. She goes all the way down the stands and onto the field. The coach remembers her and her father. He says that she is as pretty as a peach and as ripe as one. At that, she goes back to her seat.
Open Loop: Why won’t Jane stand up for herself and her kids?
Mystery: She has history with the coach, which is revealed when he says she’s as pretty as a peach…and as ripe as one. He also asks about her dad.
Empathy/Distress: Josh’s coach belittles him. Jane does not have enough confidence to confront the coach.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT. FAMILY ROOM—EVENING: Wound
Josh and Michael are playing the new video game that Jane substituted for courage. As she hears aliens being killed on screen by her boys, she has a panic attack. To escape, Jane moves to the kitchen to get some water. When she turns on the tap, she sees blood coming out of it. Then her sight is blurred.
Open Loop: Why does the sound of aliens being killed bother her?
Mystery: Why does she see blood come out of the tap?
Empathy/Distress: Jane has a panic attack.
Payoff:
Irony: The very things she bought to pacify her kids aggravates her.
Setup:
INT. BEDROOM—DAY: Secret Identity
Jane, now in tactical gear, is kidnapping someone’s kids. She tapes their mouths so that they cannot alert the parents. She can’t tape the baby’s mouth. As the baby cries, she also holds out her arms to something in the crib. Jane picks up a lamb—no, not the one. A doll—nope. Finally, she gives her a neon pink bear from her crib, and the baby stops crying and snuggles with it. She hands the kids out the window. The parents have heard the baby and come in. Jane immobilizes them with a phasor. She checks their vitals. She goes to the window to ask for a help with two live adults, but when she turns around, the parents have disappeared.
Open Loop: Why does Jane keep having these strange dreams? Mystery: Why is Jane kidnapping children?
Empathy/Distress: The baby holds her arms out for something in the crib. Jane picks up and tries the different toys until the baby snuggles with the bear.
Payoff:
Irony: Jane shoots the parents but wants them alive.
Setup: What is the significance of the pink bear? Where did the parents go?
INT. KITCHEN—EVENING: Secret
Dan shakes Jane awake. He jerks her to her feet and wants to know where dinner is. He wants a glass of wine stat! Dan puts his feet up and turns on the TV. A laxative commercial is on TV, which he makes fun of. She pours more than wine into the glass. She adds a clear liquid to it and mixes it together. She smiles as she serves him.
Open Loop: Why is this marriage so awful?
Mystery: Is Jane really helpless or pretending to be?
Empathy/Distress: Dan doesn’t even care that Jane is on the floor. He expects her to fix him a drink while he puts his feet up and watches TV.
Payoff: The parents disappeared because it was another dream.
Irony: There is a laxative commercial on the TV.
Setup: What is the clear liquid that Jane adds to Dan’s glass?
ACT 2
INT. DINING ROOM—EVENING: Deception
At the dinner table, Dan asks about the new games, and the boys shame their mom because of her failure at the soccer game. Dan laughs and allows the boys to leave the table. Dan hoists Jane onto his lap, calls her his Sweet Tart. He begins kissing Jane and whispering that he will take care of everything. He unbuttons her shirt and is about to kiss her breasts when his intestines rumble and he runs for the bathroom. She buttons up her shirt. She hides a bottle marked “Mama’s Helper” in the cupboard, smiles widely, and pours herself a glass of wine.
Open Loop: Who is really controlling the situation?
Mystery: She hides a bottle marked “Mama’s Helper” in the back of a cupboard. What is it?
Empathy/Distress: Boys shame Jane, and Dan just laughs about it. Dan gets sick.
Payoff: Whatever Jane put in Dan’s glass has sent him running to the bathroom.
Irony:
Setup:
INT. KITCHEN—MORNING: Secret Identity
Jane tells the boys to get ready for school, but they ignore her, so she uses a cookie cutter to make heart-shaped sandwiches for their lunches while they play on their phones. Her husband is in a foul mood because he spent the night in the bathroom. He commands coffee from Jane. She adds more Mother’s helper to his to-go cup. He wants to know why the boys aren’t ready. Jane has told them to get ready. He doesn’t back her up but tells them to get dressed, and they obey. Dan shoves her against the wall and begins kissing her neck and tell that they will make up for the night they missed. She grimaces. But then the school bus honks, and the boys down. The boys leave on the bus, and Dan leaves in his gold mustang. Jane reaches to the back of a cupboard, pulls out a box of chocolates, and pours herself a glass of wine. She sits in Dan’s chair with her feet up and her favorite book. Then Jane gets a phone call.
Open Loop: Is Jane going to kill her husband?
Mystery: Who calls Jane?
Empathy/Distress: The boys won’t obey her, and her husband won’t back her up.
Payoff:
Irony: Jane sits in the master’s chair when he leaves.
Setup: Dan leaves in his gold mustang.
EXT. MAILBOX—DAY: Mystery
Jane grumbles as she opens the mailbox. She finds a heart-shaped note that reads, “Au revoir, my Sweet Tart.” She is angry for having her me time interrupted. She shreds the note and stomps on it. Then a gold mustang plows through her.
Open Loop: Who called Jane? Who hit her? Who is the note from?
Mystery: The note addresses her like her husband does.
Empathy/Distress: Jane is hit by a car.
Payoff: A gold mustang hits her.
Irony: It is a heart-shaped note, but she tears it up and stomps on it.
Setup: A car plows through Jane. She should be dead.
ACT 3
INT. HOSPITAL—DAY: Conspiracy
Jane wakes up in a hospital, in restraints. When she screams for her kids, Dr. Jones tells her that she has no family. She knows this isn’t true… or is it? As Jane thrashes to get free from her restraints, Dr. Zyn, who acts like he knows her, uses her name, and keeps touching her, tells her the restraints are for her own protection. When Dr. Jones tells her she’s hallucinating because she overdosed on medication, Jane spits in Dr. Jones’s face and gets tranquilized.
Open Loop: Is Jane going crazy? Are they telling her the truth?
Mystery: They tell Jane that the restraints are there for her protection and that she’s been self-harming, but she can’t remember ever doing this.
Empathy/Distress: No one acts like they believe Jane.
Payoff: Jane is alive but told that she has overdosed.
Irony:
Setup: Dr. Zyn acts like he knows her.
INT. DR. JONES’S OFFICE—DAY: Hidden Agenda
Dr. Zyn acts very protective of Jane and wants to take her restraints off, but Dr. Jones says she knows what he’s up to. She’s not the same person. He needs to control himself because Jane’s a patient. Then she rips a staffing sheet off the wall and shoves it into Dr. Zyn’s chest. They don’t have enough staff—they lost three more people the previous week. She mutters about people wanting the product but not being willing to do the dirty work.
Open Loop: How could Jane and Dr. Zyn know each other before?
Mystery: Why are hospital staff quitting?
Empathy/Distress: Dr. Jones won’t allow Dr. Zyn to take Jane’s restraints off.
Payoff: Dr. Zyn has history with Jane.
Irony:
Setup: What are they really doing at the hospital?
INT. DR. JONES’S BEDROOM—NIGHT: Wound
Ava holds up different pairs of earrings, which Dr. Jones rejects. Nothing is right. When her com buzzes, she shoos Ava from the room and answers it. The four royal matriarchs of the Old Regime, her bosses, who are now on screen, ask her about rumors of staff members quitting. She lies to hide the truth. They advise her that she must mate soon or lose her position in the regime. After the call ends, she goes into a rage, throwing things. Then she calms down and calls her friends for a party. When Mr. Lanzee asks if Ava will be at the party, he is delighted to find out she will. Dr. Jones is in full control again.
Open Loop: Who is the Old Regime? What planet are they on?
Mystery: Mr. Lanzee asks about Ava. Will she be at the party?
Empathy/Distress: The Old Regime gives Dr. Jones an ultimatum that makes her angry.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The Old Regime tells Dr. Jones she must mate soon or lose her position. Mr. Lanzee is delighted that Ava will be at the party.
INT. KITCHEN—EVENING: Hidden Agenda
With fix-it manual in one hand and a wrench in the other, Polly is trying to repair a stove. Ava arrives and wants her to come meet the new arrival, but Polly thinks that a working stove is more important. Ava pulls out a new leather-bound book with gold edges. Polly drops everything and slowly nods. She takes the book and kisses it. Ava wants to bring a meal, but she doesn’t want to wait for Polly to fix the stove.
Open Loop: Who are these two young women? Are they patients or hired help?
Mystery: Polly is repairing a stove by looking at a book.
Empathy/Distress: Polly can’t fix everything for Ava.
Payoff:
Irony: Ava wants to bring a hot meal for Jane, but she also can’t wait long enough for Polly to fix the stove.
Setup: Who is the new arrival they are going to see? How will Ava bring a meal if the stove doesn’t work?
INT. JANE’S ROOM—EVENING
Polly cleans Jane’s room while Ava tries to feed Jane a plate of sandwiches and sings. When Jane begins to cry, Ava wipes her face and asks Polly for the key, but Polly disagrees. Ava pulls Polly to Jane and dips her finger in Jane’s tears. Polly opens her hand, and Ava takes the key.
Open Loop: What is the relationship between Polly and Ava?
Mystery: Empathy/Distress: Jane cries. Ava dips Polly’s fingers in Jane’s tears.
Payoff: The new arrival is Jane. Ava’s meal for Jane ends up being a plate of sandwiches.
Irony:
Setup: Ava unlocks Jane’s restraints.
ACT 4
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY—LATE NIGHT: Imminent Threat
Jane runs down dark hall after dark hall, trying doors and softly calling her kids names. She must find them. Everything is locked. She hesitates at the top of the stairs to the basement because she is afraid. She’s sees light, so she goes down. The light is coming from under a door. Someone’s coming. She hides but looks as the nurse opens the door. She sees a person hooked up to lives-saving machines, but the skull of his head is missing, and his brain is exposed. The doctor stabs the brain with a forked instrument, pulls the brain out, and takes a bite. Jane panics and runs.
Open Loop: What kind of hospital locks all of its doors? Why does the doctor eat a piece of the brain?
Mystery: The doctors are taking a live patient’s brain out.
Empathy/Distress: Jane is afraid. She panics.
Payoff: Jane escapes her room and looks for her kids.
Irony: Doctors are supposed to heal patients, not hurt them.
Setup: What will happen to the patient if the doctor eats part of his brain?
INT. STORAGE CLOSET—LATE NIGHT: Imminent Threat
Jane finds a window to the outer world, but it’s locked. She rubs on the grimy glass to see what is outside. Two nurses carry a skull-less body to a pit and drop it in—and then another, and then another. Jane hyperventilates as she begins a full-blown panic attack. She drops to the floor, clutching her chest and trying to breathe. Dr. Jones arrives, rubs Jane’s back, and helps her breathe.
Open Loop: What is this place? Hell?
Mystery: This doesn’t seem like real hospital.
Empathy/Distress: Jane finds a window, but it’s locked.
Payoff: The patient dies, and the nurses dump his body in a pit.
Irony: Nurses are disposing of bodies for doctors. Dr. Jones physically helps Jane but is clearly lying to her.
Setup: Jane sees doctors eating a living patient’s brain.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—LATE NIGHT: Conspiracy
Jane rants about people being killed. She fights the nurses who drag her into her room and hold her down on the bed. Dr. Jones holds an oxygen mask over her face to keep her quiet while nurses strap on the restraints. Dr. Jones tells Jane she’s hallucinating again. Jane continues to thrash, so Dr. Jones tranquilizes her. Then Dr. Jones removes a necklace, locks Jane’s restraints with a key that is on it, and puts the necklace back around her neck. She reminds the nurses that their futures depend on their silence. They nod.
Open Loop: What is the secret the nurses must keep?
Mystery: Dr. Jones reminds the nurses that their futures depend on their silence.
Empathy/Distress: Jane knows what she saw, but they tell her she’s hallucinating again. She’s being forced into restraints.
Payoff: Jane is restrained again and told she is hallucinating because of what she saw.
Irony:
Setup:
ACT 5
INT. DR. JONES’S OFFICE—DAY: Imminent Threat
Dr. Jones is angry because the girls unlocked Jane’s restraints. She’s rants at Polly, who steals a book while the doctor’s back is turned. Ava sees, and they both smiles at the joke, except Dr. Jones catches the smile. She grabs a red marker and Polly’s head and draws a bull’s eye on Polly’s forehead. Polly must be a better spy or her brain is next. When Dr. Jones tells Ava she will be entertaining some of her male guests and that Mr. Lanzee has asked for her, Ava passes out.
Open Loop: What is Polly’s relationship with Dr. Jones? What is Ava’s? Why are these young women so afraid of Dr. Jones?
Mystery: Polly is Dr. Jones’s spy.
Empathy/Distress: Dr. Jones threatens to take Polly’s brain if she doesn’t obey Dr. Jones. Ava is so upset about Mr. Lanzee that she passes out.
Payoff: They are being disciplined for removing Jane’s restraints. When Ava finds out that Mr. Lanzee will be at the party, she passes out.
Irony:
Setup: Polly steals a book.
INT. POLLY’S NEST—DAY: Deception
Polly is proudly still wearing the bull’s eye. She wants the world to see what Dr. Jones does. She finds a pen in her stash and writes in the stolen book. Dr. Jones appears, wondering where another stolen item is. Polly puts the book behind her back. Dr. Jones wants to know what she’s just hidden. Polly shakes her head. Dr. Jones insists. Polly pulls the screw cap off an old can full of rotten meat—her secret weapon. Dr. Jones shrinks back and tells her to clean up her area.
Open Loop: Why does Polly live in hole in the wall and hoards things?
Mystery: What else is in Polly’s stash?
Empathy/Distress: Polly’s living conditions are pretty bad.
Payoff:
Irony: Polly is proudly wearing the mark that Dr. Jones meant to threaten her with.
Setup: Polly writes something in the stolen book.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—DAY: Wound
Jane won’t eat or talk. Ava is worried about Jane. She tries to spoon different foods, which she has spent a long time preparing, into her mouth, but Jane won’t open her mouth. While this is going on, Polly tucks a pink bear under Jane’s pillow so that Dr. Jones cannot find it. Ava becomes frustrated with Jane, slams the tray on a nearby table, and storms out. Polly cleans around the bed until she gets closer and closer to Jane. She asks Jane what she needs. Jane just needs to find her kids. Polly picks up the spoon and tells her that she needs to eat and that they will help her. Jane takes a bite.
Open Loop: Will Jane ever snap out of her depression? Is this the same pink bear we saw in Jane’s dream? Did Jane kidnap Polly?
Mystery: Polly tucks the bear under Jane’s pillow so that Dr. Jones cannot find it.
Empathy/Distress: Ava is worried about Jane. She tries to spoon different foods to her mouth, but Jane turns her head away.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Polly plants the pink bear for Jane to find.
INT. DR. JONES’S OFFICE—EVENING: Suspicion
Dr. Jones is reading Jane’s medical chart when Polly, with the bull’s eye still on her forehead, makes a big show of reporting to Dr. Jones that Jane is now eating, which the doctor doesn’t care about. Dr. Jones tells her to wash her face, but Polly hides and spies on her. Dr. Jones goes back to the chart. Her gaze focuses in on something of interest. She opens her door and calls for Nurse Akal. She shows the page to the nurse and asks if she ran the test. The nurse did. She asks if it is what she thinks it is. The nurse nods. They leave together. Polly looks at the report but can’t figure out what it says. She rips off the page and stuffs it in her pocket.
Open Loop: When Polly spies on Dr. Jones, who does she tell?
Mystery: Something on that chart completely captures Dr. Jones’s attention.
Empathy/Distress: Dr. Jones treats Polly like dirt.
Payoff: Polly spies on Dr. Jones.
Irony:
Setup: Dr. Jones finds something in the report. Polly takes the page of the report.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—EVENING: Goal
When Dr. Jones enters Jane’s room, Jane becomes agitated. She wants to know if Dr. Jones killed her kids like she did the others. Dr. Jones laughs and administers a tranquilizer. She begins to ultrasound Jane while she sleeps, but Dr. Zyn arrives with some flowers and a smile. That’s when Dr. Jones tells him that she has chosen him as her mate. She sends him to prepare her a bath. She returns to the ultrasound and finds a baby.
Open Loop: Does Dr. Zyn have a choice in the matter of being a mate?
Mystery: She wants to know if Dr. Jones killed her kids like she did the others.
Empathy/Distress: When Dr. Jones enters the room, Jane becomes upset.
Payoff: Dr. Jones finds a baby when she ultrasounds Jane. Dr. Jones tells Dr. Zyn that she has chosen him as her mate.
Irony:
Setup:
INT. JANE’S ROOM—LATE EVENING: Secret
Jane finds the pink bear and hugs it. A nurse comes in and tries to take the bear because it’s dirty, but Jane won’t let her have it. The nurse gives in and leaves. She has better things to do. But something is wrong with the bear. Jane finds a pocket and pulls out a book, in which is written, “Don’t believe them. They’re lying about everything.”
Open Loop: Will Jane remember the bear from her dream?
Mystery: The bear contains Polly’s book. The book contains a message.
Empathy/Distress: The nurse tries to take the only thing that is bringing comfort to Jane.
Payoff: There’s a book with a message in the bear that confirms what Jane believe is true. They are lying to her.
Irony:
Setup: Jane finds a message telling her that she’s not crazy. They are lying to her.
-
Avi Kapurala’s Outline with Intrigue
What I learned doing this lesson is: There’s still a lot of scope for the outline to become better and I have a good structure to build on.
Show Concept: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…
Inciting Incident: The collapse of the Tyson Electric-Richardson gas station deal brought on by Viktor and Maya.
TEASER
INT- HOUSE- NIGHT: Mystery
A phone buzzes. It’s a text. Someone who’s watching TV checks it, turns off the TV and leaves.
A man is watching TV when his phone buzzes with a text message. He reads it, turns off the TV and leaves the house. He gets in a car and drives, to a wooded area, where a concealed car is parked. He switches cars and drives away.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: Where is he going?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Secret
A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.
The masked man parks behind an old warehouse and puts on a ski mask. He picks up a duffel bag from the seat next to him, gets out of the car and checks the surroundings. When he sees no one around, he climbs the fire escape to enter the warehouse.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: What is in the warehouse?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why he’s operating in such secrecy.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows time.
The warehouse is being watched by someone sitting in a car parked a couple of blocks away. Using a burner phone, the watcher sends a text to an unknown recipient- activity.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: Why is he watching the warehouse?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Will the masked man be caught?
INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange behavior
The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.
The masked man enters the warehouse from the fire escape. It is dark inside and he turns on a flashlight that is hooded to dim its light. He crosses the large room he is in and into a smaller one.
Open Loop: Who is the masked man?
Mystery: Why is he behaving so secretively?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat
A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.
The person watching the warehouse slips out of his car and runs over to the masked man’s car. He rolls underneath. He rolls out, make sure no one saw him and then runs back to his car, ducking among the shadows to stay concealed.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: Why is he spying on the masked man? What is he doing to the car?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if the masked man will be caught or killed.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior
Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows an hour has elapsed.
The watcher then gets back into their car. He eats a snack, does forearm exercises and pees into an empty soda bottle as he keeps watch. The dashboard clock ticks over until an hour elapses.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: What is he expecting to do?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if the masked man will be caught.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
The masked man exits the warehouse from the fire escape.
The masked man exits the warehouse and climbs back down the fire escape. He scans the surroundings to see that the coast is still clear, before heading back to his car. He jogs back, pops the trunk and dumps the duffel bag into it before getting in and driving off.
Open Loop: Who is the masked man?
Mystery: What did he do in the warehouse and what is in the bag?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.
The watcher looks on as the car pulls out from behind the warehouse and drives away. He begins tailing at a discreet distance, keeping an eye on the tracker display for the tracking device he planted on the car ahead.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: Will he capture the masked man?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where the masked man is going.
EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery
The warehouse starts burning. Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.
As the cars drive away, the warehouse begins to burn.
Open Loop: Who is the masked man?
Mystery: What did he do in the warehouse and why is it burning?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT: Mystery
The car drives along a lonely road.
The masked man’s car is driving along a dark, deserted road lit only by his lights. He keeps scanning his mirrors for any signs of pursuit, but there is nothing behind him.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: Where is he going? Will he discover he’s being followed?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT: Strange behavior
The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.
The masked man reaches the ocean and an old dock with a boat moored to it. There is no one else around. He stops the car, gets out and unloads the duffel bag. He dumps it in the boat and starts the motor, sailing away. He goes a way out and tosses the duffel bag in. Turns around and starts back for shore.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: What is in the bag?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where he’s going and what the text means.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior
Man sends a text- Mermaid away.
The masked man reaches shore, ties the boat back up and gets in his car. He texts an unknown recipient- mermaid away, before turning around and driving back.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: Who is he texting?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out what was in the warehouse and what the text means.
The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives back home.
Open Loop: Who is the man?
Mystery: Why did he burn the car he was driving?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out what he’s been up to.
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT: Imminent threat
A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: Who is he in contact with? What is the home movie he’s referring to? Why did he let the masked man go?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who the watcher and masked man are.
ACT 1
EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: Two men are talking in a moving car, discussing a rival deal to the one they’re working on. One of the men, called Jacob, needs to decide whether to push their deal forward or hold it while they gather more information.
The car stops at a heliport where they exit the car, get into a helicopter labeled Swanson 1 and take off against a backdrop of skyscrapers.
Jacob gets into a helicopter. Swanson 1. Chopper takes off. Crowd noise OS.
Start: Jacob is talking to an aide in his car.
Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.
Conflict: Jacob needs to decide whether to hold the deal, or go ahead.
Action: He overrides his aide’s concerns about the risk to the deal.
Finish: Jumps into his chopper.
Open Loop: Who are the two men?
Mystery: Which deal are they talking about and what is the threat to it?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if the deal will go ahead.
EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: Jacob and his aide continue discussing Tyson Electric in the chopper. The aide hands over a file, which Jacob studies briefly, before putting it down and looking out of the window. He says he’s going to try and find out more, from her.
Jacob then calls someone and asks if she’s at the gala yet. When the answer is affirmative, he instructs the pilot to change course.
Chopper takes off. Aide hands over a file to Jacob. TYSON ELECTRIC on the folder.
Start: Jacob reads the deal folder in the chopper.
Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.
Conflict: Jacob decides to extract information from his ex-lover about the rival deal.
Action: He calls an aide to find out if she’s at the awards gala.
Finish: Calls an organizer to become a presenter instead of xyz. Donates 100k as a bribe.
Open Loop: Who is Jacob?
Mystery: Which woman is he talking about?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Jacob can get information regarding the threat to his deal.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: An awards gala is underway. The crowd is large and one of them is a stunning woman who is furiously texting on her phone. She’s asking someone where they are and receives no response. Crowd noise offscreen is building up.
Big crowd, seated at tables. Well dressed. A speaker talking on the stage. Maya texting. Where are you?
Start: Awards ceremony for XYZ Award.
Challenging Situation: Maya is trying to locate Viktor.
Conflict: Viktor is unreachable.
Action: She calls Jason.
Finish: No response from either. She is angry.
Open Loop: Who is the woman? Who is Viktor?
Mystery: Where is Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if she is the woman Jacob is referring to.
INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: A phone lights up in a locker in an empty locker room. It’s the text the woman at the awards gala sent- where are you? The crowd noise is deafening now.
Phone lights up in a locker room. The text Maya sent- where are you? Crowd noise builds.
Start: Empty locker room in a gym, phone lights up in a locker with Maya’s message.
Challenging Situation: Angry texts from Maya.
Conflict: No one available to respond to her messages.
Action: Texts go unanswered.
Finish: Crowd going wild.
Open Loop: Who is Viktor?
Mystery: Where is Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who Maya is trying to reach.
INT-CHOPPER-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: Jacob wants to know if he’s there with her. The answer is negative, which makes him wonder where ‘he’ is, if not by her side tonight.
Jacob asks his aide if “he’s’” there. Aide replies ‘negative’. Jacob-where the fuck is he?
Start: Jacob is trying to find out if Viktor’s at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Viktor is missing.
Open Loop: Who is the mystery man Viktor that Jacob and Maya are trying to locate?
Mystery: Where is Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out where the mystery man is.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: The crowd noise crescendos in a boxing ring. A man is kneeling in prayer as his opponent chomps at the bit. He is heavily tattooed and the showpiece is one on his back, which says ‘Son of a Whore’.
The man finishes his prayer and leaps to his feet, turning around to face his opponent, who is huge. The tattooed man’s trainer is unsure, but the fighter wants to go on. The bell rings and the fight begins.
Viktor kneeling and praying. Has a tattoo ‘Son of a whore’ on his back. Gets up and faces off with his opponent, a huge bear of a guy.
Start: Boxing ring, big crowd.
Challenging Situation: One of the fighters is gigantic.
Conflict: Viktor’s trainer is unsure if they should proceed.
Action: Viktor gets to his feet and takes his guard.
Finish: The bout begins
Open Loop: Why are we watching a boxing match?
Mystery: Is one of the men Viktor? Why does one of the guys have a tattoo that says Son of a Whore?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who Viktor is.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: At the awards gala, the woman is trying to call the man who isn’t answering her and is furious that he isn’t responding. The ceremony begins with the announcement of the keynote speaker.
Maya is calling someone on her phone. No answer.
Start: Maya tries calling Viktor.
Challenging Situation: No response.
Conflict: The awards ceremony has begun.
Action: She leaves an angry voicemail.
Finish:
Open Loop: Who is the woman?
Mystery: Where is Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who she’s trying to reach.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: The boxers are bloodied and going hard at each other as the crowd eggs them on. The tattooed boxer is badly beaten up, but continues to punch back. His opponent then starts taunting him about his tattoo and asks if his mother was a whore. This enrages the tattooed boxer and he unleashes a fierce attack.
Opponent going at each other. Viktor is badly beaten up, but landing his own punches. Opponent taunts him about his mother and if she’s a whore. Viktor enraged and goes into overdrive.
Start: The two boxers are going hard at each other.
Challenging Situation: The bigger boxer has the upper hand.
Conflict: The bigger boxer begins taunting viktor about his tattoo and his mother
Action: Viktor lashes out hard.
Finish: The bigger boxer is suddenly on the ropes.
Open Loop: What is the secret about Viktor’s mother?
Mystery: Why is Viktor in a boxing match?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Viktor will survive.
EXT-ROOFTOP HELIPAD-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: Swanson 1 lands on a rooftop helipad and Jacob rushes out, exits the rooftop and gets into an elevator.
The chopper lands, Jacob gets out and is rushed in.
Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Is rushed in.
Open Loop: Who is Jacob?
Mystery: Where did his chopper land him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who Jacob wants to meet and where he’s heading.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Layer
Description: Jacob exits the elevator he got on and walks into the awards gala where the woman is. She is quite taken aback to see him, but he doesn’t notice her on his way to the front of the room.
Jacob enters the awards gala where the woman is. She is taken aback to see him.
Start: Jacob walks in after the ceremony has begun.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Maya is taken aback to see him.
Open Loop: Who is Jacob? Who is Maya?
Mystery: Why is Jacob at the awards ceremony? What is the information he wants from Maya?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out how Jacob and Maya are connected.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: The tattooed boxer can barely stand, but acknowledges the cheers of the crowd, who is chanting his name-Viktor. His opponent is immobile on the ground and a doctor checks and declares him dead.
Viktor wins, barely standing. Opponent is dead.
Start: The bigger boxer is almost down.
Challenging Situation: He tries to take Viktor down in a last attempt.
Conflict: Viktor must avoid his hook.
Action: Viktor ducks and responds with an uppercut.
Finish: The bigger boxer goes down.
Open Loop: Who is Viktor? Why is he boxing?
Mystery: What got him so angry that he killed his opponent?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT: Secret
Description: When Maya is called to receive the most prestigious award of the night, Jacob presents it to her. After the ceremony ends, he strikes up a conversation with her and despite her reluctance, coaxes her for ‘old times’’ sake. Jacob questions her about Viktor’s absence and when he notices her anger, takes advantage and convinces her to have a drink with him. They leave the venue and head to a nearby bar.
Maya’s name is called, Jacob from the chopper presents her an award. Ceremony ends. They have a conversation, he flirts with her, she’s angry. They leave to get a drink at a bar.
Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric.
Conflict: Maya is hesitant to talk to him.
Action: He appeals to her to have just one drink for old times’ sake.
Finish: They head to the bar.
Open Loop: How do Maya and Jacob know each other?
Mystery: Will he try to get information about the rival deal to Tyson from her?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Will Jacob attempt to extract information from Maya?
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Description: Viktor is given a hero’s round of applause at the gym and then gets his wounds tended to. When he sees Maya’s calls and messages, he attempts to contact her, but gets no response. He lets her know that he’s sorry he missed the gala.
Viktor is being carried around. Then his trainer is patching him up in the locker room. Missed calls checked on phone. Tries calling Maya back.
Start: Viktor is celebrating his win in the match.
Challenging Situation: Becomes aware that Maya has been trying to reach him.
Conflict: He knows he fucked up by not being at the awards.
Action: He attempts to contact her.
Finish: leaves placatory messages.
Open Loop: Why was Viktor boxing?
Mystery: Will Maya respond to him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will respond to Viktor.
INT-BAR-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
Description: Maya ignores Viktor’s messages and carries on her conversation with Jacob. They reminisce about the old days when they were in school together. Jacob asks her what made her leave him.
Maya’s phone buzzes. She looks at it, silences it and turns her phone facedown. Deep conversation between Jacob and Maya. They know each other from before.
Start: Maya and Jacob decide to head to a nearby bar from the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric, but Maya is awkward talking to him.
Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya.
Action: Jacob asks her to choose him for a change.
Finish: Maya ignores Viktor’s calls and continues talking to Jacob.
Open Loop: Will Jacob try to extract information from Maya?
Mystery: How do Maya and Jacob know each other?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will give Jacob information.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Secret
Description: As Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer, Jason, talk turns to the match that just ended. Viktor relives a traumatic memory from childhood where he is being tattooed forcibly. He puts his thoughts aside and tries reaching Maya again, with no luck. He then decides to buy her flowers in an effort to make up.
Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer.
Start: Jacob is in his car. Driver Jason starts talking about the match.
Challenging Situation: The conversation triggers traumatic memories for Viktor.
Conflict: He needs to focus on Maya. Tries reaching her again.
Action: Asks Jason to stop the car at a bodega.
Finish: Buys flowers and texts Maya that he’s on his way home.
Open Loop: Why did Viktor get his tattoo?
Mystery: Who is the man who tattooed Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya will forgive Viktor.
INT-BAR-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
Description: Jacob tries to capitalize on Maya’s being upset with Viktor and attempts to kiss her. When Maya pulls away, he apologizes and seeks to drop her home to make up. Maya refuses and leaves.
Jacob attempts to hold Maya’s hand, she doesn’t fight it. He volunteers to drop her home after they’re done with drinks
Start: Jacob tries to subtly play on Maya’s anger with Viktor and tries to kiss her.
Challenging Situation: Maya gets angry and decides to leave.
Conflict: What does she do?
Action: She tells him that she can’t right now.
Finish: Jacob begs to drop Maya home and Maya refuses.
Open Loop: Will Maya and Jacob get back together at some point?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Will Maya and Jacob get together in the future?
EXT-STREET-NIGHT
Description: Jacob is driving Maya home.
Start: Maya is heading home in Jacob’s car.
Challenging Situation: Jacob tries to extract information regarding Tyson Electric.
Conflict: She needs to stay loyal.
Action: She refuses to give him information.
Finish: reaches home.
EXT-DRIVEWAY-NIGHT: Wound
Description: Viktor and Maya reach home at the same time and Maya refuses to talk to Viktor or accept his flowers.
Both cars reach the same house. Viktor and Maya get down. Face each other. Maya turns away and walks into the house.
Start: Both cars reach home.
Challenging Situation: Maya is upset with Viktor.
Conflict: Will she accept Viktor’s gesture of peace?
Action: Viktor tries to give Maya the flowers.
Finish: Maya storms into the house.
Open Loop: Why is their marriage strained even before tonight?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out if Maya and Viktor’s relationship will survive.
INT-HOUSE-NIGHT: Wound
Description: Viktor and Maya fight. She accuses him of being selfish and he accuses her of betrayal, let’s not pretend we care about each other, it’s all business. She’s pissed because his face is beaten up and tomorrow is a big day. What else can she expect from him? Viktor sleeps in a different room. Maya lies awake in bed.
Viktor and Maya fight.
Start: Maya and Viktor storm inside.
Challenging Situation: Maya sees Viktor’s physical condition and is enraged. Viktor is furious about Jacob.
Conflict: Despite starting off with the goal of making peace, they feel antagonized again.
Action: They have a fight.
Finish: Sleep in separate bedrooms.
Open Loop: Why is Maya and Viktor’s relationship strained?
Mystery: Why is tomorrow a big day?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why the next day is a big day.
INT-GYM-DAY: Mystery
Description: Maya is working out intensely the next morning, sweating her feelings out. She gets a text that lunch is on and wraps up her workout. She is preoccupied with the text.
Maya working out, trainer supervises workout. She gets a text, ‘lunch is on’.
Start: Maya is not at home, she’s at a gym.
Challenging Situation: Angry about the night’s events.
Conflict: Needs to keep focus.
Action: Punching bag? Something else?
Finish: Finishes workout and gets a text that lunch is on.
Open Loop:
Mystery: With whom is her lunch on?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re going to find out why today is a big day.
INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY: Wound
Description: When Viktor wakes up, Maya is gone and there’s a note for him on the coffee table telling him that she’s asked her makeup person to touch his bruises up before coming to the office. She doesn’t want him to ignore her, but Viktor does anyway.
Viktor wakes up, note on the coffee table- see you at the office, told Anya to fix you up. Don’t ignore. Viktor gets ready, brushes away Anya, who wants to put makeup on his face to cover up bruises.
Start: Viktor wakes up and Maya is gone.
Challenging Situation: In pain from the match.
Conflict: Maya has left instructions he doesn’t like.
Action: Viktor ignores her instructions.
Finish: Sends away the make-up artist.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out how Maya will react to Viktor ignoring her advice.
INT-SHOWER-DAY: Wound
Maya is in the shower at the gym and has flashbacks to an older man abusing her sexually as a teenager. She’s trying to push him away, but he keeps telling her how beautiful she is and how she wants it too and will enjoy it. He promises her wonderful gifts. Proceeds to have sex with her as she gives in.
Maya showering after workout, gets dressed, heads to car.
Start: Maya in the shower post-workout.
Challenging Situation: She is disturbed.
Conflict: Disturbing images from childhood. Being molested.
Action: Finishes shower.
Finish: Leaves gym.
Open Loop: Why was Maya abused?
Mystery: Who is the man who abused her?
Empathy/Distress: Maya was raped.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out how her ordeal is connected to lunch.
EXT-STREET-DAY: Mystery
Description: Maya finishes getting ready after her shower and sets out to the office. She calls Viktor, who’s on his way to the office as well. They’re both upset, especially when Maya learns that he ignored her make up suggestion. But they agree to put aside their feelings and discuss the plan for the day, including the lunch that Maya is going to. Someone is following viktor, unknown to him.
Car reaches office tower, Maya exits, enters building.
Start: Maya calls Viktor from the car.
Challenging Situation: They’re both upset.
Conflict: To set aside their differences and plan for something important. But she is pissed at him ignoring her advice.
Action: They discuss plans for a mysterious lunch and also for their meetings.
Finish: Maya and Viktor reach the office.
Open Loop: Whys is today a big day?
Mystery: Why is Viktor being followed?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why the day is important.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Intriguing World
Description: Maya and Viktor are welcomed with tremendous applause as they walk in to the office. Her for the award and him, for his match and being a ‘bull’. They soak in the adulation and greet the crew warmly, before walking into their respective cabins.
Applause as Viktor and Maya enter. Cheers and handshakes. Viktor and Maya linger, then head to separate cabins.
Start: Maya and Viktor enter the office.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action: They acknowledge their employees.
Finish: They go into their respective cabins.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why today is important and what Viktor and Maya do.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Mystery
Description: Maya asks her assistant to clear her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting an old friend for lunch. She then calls one of her employees in and goes over a plan to short shares of Tyson Electric. The analyst is mystified, but knows better than to question her.
Maya goes over schedule with assistant, emphasizes to switch her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting a friend, Nancy. Calls an employee in and asks to short shares of Tyson Electric. The employee asks why she’s interested in Tyson Electric? She then heads into Viktor’s cabin.
Start: Maya is going over the days calendar with her assistant.
Challenging Situation: The schedule needs rearranging due to a lunch appointment
Conflict: Needs to be vague about her interest in Tyson Electric.
Action: Decision conveyed.
Finish: Heads into Viktor’s office.
Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?
Mystery: Why are they shorting shares of Tyson electric?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re going to find out why lunch is so important and what the rival deal to Tyson electric is.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Intriguing World
Viktor and Maya are on a video conference with bankers and the founders of a company they are helping take public within a few days. Viktor wants the valuation pushed up as the technology is revolutionary and they will be the first self-driving cars in the world. But the bank is reluctant to ignore their research. An agreement is reached.
Viktor and Maya get on a video conference. DriveNXT founders, bank also on call. Discuss upcoming IPO.
Start: Viktor and Maya hop onto a conference.
Challenging Situation: An upcoming IPO is being discussed.
Conflict: The banks are underpricing them.
Action: Negotiation.
Finish: Agreement reached.
Open Loop:
Mystery: Is this the rival deal to Tyson?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Mystery
Description: Maya prepares to leave for lunch after the meeting. Viktor walks into her cabin and enquires if she’s up for it. Maya says she’s not going to pass up the chance to tell him to his face that he’s fucked. She needs to do this for herself. She wants to take down the bastard. Viktor comforts her and she doesn’t fight it. He tells her that he’ll be ready.
After the IPO meeting, Maya tells Viktor that lunch is on. She leaves.
Start: Viktor and Maya wrap up the conference.
Challenging Situation: An upcoming crucial lunch is being discussed.
Conflict: Viktor doesn’t want her to go. They can handle it without it. Maya wants to go and tell someone to their face that he’s going to be fucked. She needs to do it.
Action: Viktor reluctantly agrees.
Finish: Maya is pumped to ‘take him down’.
Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?
Mystery: Why is Viktor enquiring if Maya is up for it?
Empathy/Distress: The lunch is clearly triggering an emotional reaction from Maya.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out who Maya wants ‘fucked’.
INT-CAR-DAY: wound
Description: Maya is on her way to lunch and pensive. Her hands tremble as she has flashes from childhood again about the man fucking her. She reaches into her purse and pulls out a cigarette. She lights it and rolls down the window. In a few minutes, she’s reached her destination and tosses the cigarette away before getting out of the car.
Maya pensive.
Start: Maya is on her way to lunch.
Challenging Situation: She wants to feel in control, but isn’t.
Conflict: Childhood memories of being molested?
Action: She lights a cigarette from a hidden stash, which she rarely does.
Finish: Tosses her cigarette and gets out of the car.
Open Loop: Why was Maya abused?
Mystery: Who was the man who abused Maya?
Empathy/Distress: Maya was sexually abused and is traumatized.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out how lunch is triggering this trauma.
INT-ART GALLERY-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Maya steps into an art gallery, where she browses pieces until she bumps into the owner of the gallery, a woman she recognizes. It’s her friend, Nancy, who is surprised to see her there. They haven’t met in years and have a lot to talk about, but Nancy is in a hurry as she’s heading for lunch with her father and husband to celebrate a big business deal her family is signing the next day. Maya invites herself, much to Nancy’s surprise, saying she’d be delighted to meet them. She texts Viktor that she’s in for lunch.
Maya runs into Nancy. Expresses surprise, they talk. Maya invites herself to lunch. Texts Viktor ‘IN’.
Start: Maya is in an art gallery, browsing.
Challenging Situation: She runs into a childhood friend.
Conflict: The friend is in a hurry to go to lunch.
Action: Maya invites herself to lunch with Nancy.
Finish: They leave together.
Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?
Mystery: If lunch with Nancy was already scheduled, then why did Maya act surprised at seeing Nancy and why did she invite herself in?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why lunch is important and why it is triggering traumatic memories for Maya.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor receives Maya’s text that she’s in for lunch. He almost calls her, but pauses and then texts her luck.
Viktor- Replies Good Luck to Maya’s text of IN.
Start: Viktor is in meetings when Maya texts him after lunch.
Challenging Situation: Gets a text from Maya that lunch is on.
Conflict: Hesitates before replying.
Action: Replies with a good luck, ready to go.
Finish: He continues with his meetings.
Open Loop: Why is lunch important to Maya and Viktor’s plan?
Mystery: What is ready to go?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out why lunch is important and what their plan is.
INT-RESTAURANT-DAY: Hidden Agenda
Description: Nancy and Maya walk into the restaurant and are met by Nancy’s husband and father. They are surprised to see Maya there and there’s an initial period of awkwardness. Maya slips into a seat next to Nancy’s father and as they’re talking about the big deal they’re signing, she slips her hand under the table and rubs the older man’s thigh. He doesn’t show any reaction, but doesn’t stop her either. A few minutes later, Maya excuses herself to go the ladies room and walks away. Nancy’s father excuses himself and follows her inside.
The two women meet with two men, one quite older. Hugs all around, they start talking. Maya rubs older man’s thigh under the table. She gets up to go to the ladies’ room, older man waits and follows.
Start: Maya is at lunch with Nancy, her husband and her father.
Challenging Situation: Maya is uncomfortable, but has her emotions under control.
Conflict: Nancy’s father seats himself next to her. She rubs his thigh under the table.
Action: She waits a few minutes and then excuses herself to the ladies’ room, with a signal to Nancy’s father.
Finish: She enters the ladies’ room and waits for him.
Open Loop: Why is lunch so important?
Mystery: Why is Maya having lunch with her rapist?
Empathy/Distress: This is hard for Maya.
Payoff:
Irony: Maya is having lunch with the man in her traumatic memories.
Setup: We’re about to find out what the plan is.
INT-LADIES’ ROOM-DAY: Hidden Agenda
Description: Maya and Nancy’s father get into a stall. He locks it behind them and asks her if she missed him, or if her husband’s not doing it for her. She laughs and then grabs his balls painfully hard. As he grunts in pain, she tells him that it’s neither. She’s here to put a fucking end to his career in fucking little girls. She holds up her phone and plays a little clip of him with an underage girl, which the world will shortly see.
The old man retorts that he fucking paid for her college and calls her a gold digger. Nancy gets furious and says that he took advantage of his friendship with ‘him’ and asks to know if she’s the villain here. Besides, you got me pregnant, you bastard. He apologizes and pleads with her to forgive him, but she twists harder and tells him that her should have thought of it sooner. It’s too late now. She lets him go and walks out without saying goodbye to Nancy.
They get into a stall. He asks if she missed him and that’s why she’s here. She grabs his balls and threatens him. Walks out.
Start: Nancy’s father enters the stall.
Challenging Situation: He begins kissing her and asks if she missed him.
Conflict: Childhood memories flash.
Action: She grabs his balls and squeezes painfully. Tells him that he’s finished fucking young girls who don’t have a choice.
Finish: Shoves him away and walks out.
Open Loop: How does the old man know Maya?
Mystery: Who is the ‘him’ she’s referring to? How did she get a video of him with an underage girl?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: We know why lunch was important.
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out what the rest of the plan is.
EXT-RESTAURANT-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Maya struggles to breathe as she walks out of the restaurant. Her hands are shaking as she texts Viktor Go. She lights another cigarette and gets into her car.
Maya texts Viktor – GO.
Start: Maya tells Nancy and her husband that she’s got to go, but good luck with the deal.
Challenging Situation: She’s struggling to breathe.
Conflict: Hesitates before sending a text.
Action: texts Viktor ‘GO’.
Finish: Lights a cigarette and gets into her car.
Open Loop: What is Viktor and Maya’s plan?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Maya is traumatized by her interaction with Richardson.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out what the plot is.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor makes a phone call to a reporter and tells him to run the item. He then calls the analyst Maya gave instructions to, to come in and then gives her instructions on how to short Tyson Electric stock.
He then begins texting Maya, asking her how she’s doing, but then calls her instead and tells her it’s done.
Viktor calls someone and asks them to do it. Texts Maya DONE.
Start: Viktor calls someone and tells them to proceed with the article.
Challenging Situation: He makes a second call on a burner phone and asks the person to start buying through the other account as decided.
Conflict: He wants to call Maya, but hesitates. Starts typing a text asking how she’s doing, but erases it.
Action: Goes ahead and calls her.
Finish: Tells her that it’s done.
Open Loop:
Mystery: Why is Viktor shorting Tyson stock?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out their plan.
INT-CAFÉ-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: At the café, Nancy and her family are still at lunch, her father having rejoined them. He gets a call from a news reporter, asking for comment on a news story they’re about run. He threatens to sue them, but the reporter tells him that they have evidence and are going ahead with the item.
Nancy and family at lunch.
Challenging Situation: Nancy’s father gets a call at lunch from a reporter about a news article that is scheduled to run shortly.
Conflict: He cannot discuss it freely with his family around and in a public place.
Action: Threatens to sue.
Finish: The reporter says they’re going ahead as they have solid proof.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: We know now what Maya and Viktor’s plan is.
Irony:
Setup: We’re about to find out the result of the plan.
INT-CAR-DAY: Wound
Description: Maya is in her car driving back to the office, when her phone begins buzzing. The news item with the video has dropped. She begins to cry and pulls over as horns begin honking behind her. She breaks down completely.
Maya’s driving.
Start: Maya’s phone begins buzzing.
Challenging Situation: She begins crying as she sees the news.
Conflict: Wants to control her emotions, but cannot.
Finish: Pulls over and bawls her eyes out.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Maya is in agony from her interaction and traumatic memories.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: The news is everywhere about Richardson being a pedophile. Viktor’s office is glued to the TV as the news plays out. The analyst who was shorting Tyson Electric begins dumping shares. News breaks that the Tyson Electric deal has been called off due to the new revelations.
Viktor makes a call on a burner phone and advises a front to start buying shares of EcoLab, discreetly and through channels.
The TV news and phones in Viktor’s office begin buzzing with a video of Dave Richardson being a pedophile.
Start: The news hits the screens in Viktor’s office. Chaos as people try to figure out the implications.
Challenging Situation: Viktor needs to keep his cool and not give away that Maya and he are behind the news, or are profiting from it.
Conflict: Advises confidantes to buy more of EcoLabs.
Finish: The office celebrates as the rival deal collapses.
Open Loop: What is EcoLabs?
Mystery: Why is Viktor buying stocks of Ecolabs?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: We now know Maya and Viktor’s full plot.
Irony:
Setup: EcoLabs.
INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
Description: Maya is in bed, watching the news. Viktor comes home and attempts to comfort her, but she refuses his attention. He walks away and she texts Nancy that she hopes they rot in hell for not stopping her father from ruining dozens of girls’ lives. Nancy replies back fuck you.
Maya is reading in bed. The news is about the collapse of the Tyson Electric deal with Richardsons. Maya texts Richardson- rot in prison, you bastard.
Start: Maya is home, in bed. Viktor walks in.
Challenging Situation: Viktor wants to comfort Maya.
Conflict: Maya pulls away and refuses his attention. Viktor walks away and hope in the shower, goes to sleep in a separate room.
Finish: Maya texts Nancy- hope all of you rot in hell for not stopping him. Nancy replies- fuck you.
Open Loop: Why is Viktor and Maya’s marriage strained?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Maya has her revenge.
Irony:
Setup:
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:
ACT 2
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: As the news of the collapse of Tyson Electric’s deal grabs the headlines, Jacob is furious. He knows that it was Viktor who orchestrated the sabotage, as his client has announced their own deal with a rival chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who summons him to talk about the monumental fuck-up and is so enraged by the summons, that he hurls his phone at the wall and smashes it to bits.
Jacob is watching the news of Tyson Electric’s collapse. The news talks about a rival company signing a deal with another national chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who wants to meet him. Gets so angry he hurls the phone at the wall.
Start: Jacob is watching the Tyson Electric deal collapse.
Challenging Situation: A rival company has announced its launch, instead of Tyson.
Conflict: He is summoned by his father.
Finish: Is furious with Viktor for getting the better of him.
Open Loop: How will Jacob react to his loss?
Mystery: Who called him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s counterplot against Viktor and Maya for his loss.
INT-GYM-DAY: Secret
Description: During her morning workout, Maya gets a call from someone called Tara. She contemplates answering it, but lets it go to voicemail instead. She listens to the voicemail, which says that he wandered out of the house and got hit by a car. He’s unconscious and in bad shape. Can she help?
Maya is upset and cuts her workout short, hopping into the shower instead.
Maya gets a text from Tara- I know you hate him, but do you want him to die? Maya calls Tara and says she’ll do it, but she does not want to see him.
Start: Maya is in the gym and gets a call from someone named Tara.
Challenging Situation: A part of her wants to answer it, but she doesn’t want to.
Conflict: Someone she knows has been in an accident.
Finish: Maya cuts her workout short and hops in the shower.
Open Loop: Who is Tara? Who’s in the hospital?
Mystery: Who is he that she doesn’t care about?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Maya’s past.
EXT-DELI-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: Viktor stops at a deli on his way to work. He stands in line for coffee and sees an analyst from his office waiting for him. The analyst says that he needed to talk to Viktor out of the office and knew he could find him here. He starts talking about a personal situation, but the owner of the deli comes up to Viktor just then and admonishes him for standing in line.
He then tells the analyst how Viktor stood up to gang members once and saved him from being killed. He leaves out the part where Viktor killed the gang members, instead.
Viktor is walking into a deli. An analyst from his office is waiting for him. The deli owner shares a story about Viktor’s childhood.
Start: Viktor is going to get coffee.
Challenging Situation: One of his analysts is waiting for him.
Conflict: The analyst wants to talk about something that’s troubling him.
Finish: The deli owner ends up telling him a story from Viktor’s childhood.
Open Loop: What is Viktor’s secret past?
Mystery: How did Viktor get into boxing?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Maya has her revenge.
Irony:
Setup: Viktor’s past.
EXT-STREET-DAY: Strange Behavior
Description: As Viktor and the analyst leave the deli, the analyst comments on how bad the coffee is and asks Viktor why he chooses to go there every day. Viktor tells him how the deli owner would cheer him up with a donut when he was bullied as a kid. That taught him to be loyal.
He asks the analyst what he wanted to talk about. The analyst hesitates and then brings up a deal about PrimaCorp.
Viktor tells the analyst why he gets coffee from the deli everyday even though it’s bad. Wants to know what he wants to talk about. The analyst hesitates briefly and then brings up PrimaCorp.
Start: Viktor and the analyst walk out of the deli. The analyst comments on how shitty the coffee is.
Challenging Situation: Viktor tells him a backstory of why he gets his daily coffee from the deli despite it not being good.
Conflict: Viktor harps on loyalty and the analyst is affected. Why?
Finish: Viktor wants to know more about PrimaCorp. He asks the analyst why he couldn’t talk in the office.
Open Loop: What is the analyst hiding?
Mystery: What is Viktor’s past?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Strange Behavior
Description: Maya and Viktor are in the office and in a meeting for an IPO that is launching in the next few days. Viktor is not satisfied with the pricing and wants to push it up. Maya is distracted, which annoys him.
Maya gets another text from Tara during the meeting. It says Tara knows Maya hates him, but enough to let him die? She is in a position to help, so will she?
Viktor and Maya are in a meeting with DriveNXT. IPO going live in a few days.
Start: Viktor and Maya are in the office and in an important meeting.
Challenging Situation: An IPO is launching in two days.
Conflict: The pricing is unsatisfactory to Viktor, Maya is distracted, which annoys him more.
Finish: Maya gets a text from Tara asking if she wants him to die. Will she help?
Open Loop: What has Maya so distracted?
Mystery: Who is Tara?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Maya’s past.
INT-CABIN-DAY: Secret
Description: Maya steps out of the meeting and goes into her cabin. She calls Tara back and tells her that she will help, but she doesn’t want to see him. Nor does she want anyone to know she helped.
She asks her assistant for the number of the head of a hospital and calls. Wants the best care for him.
Open Loop: Who is Tara? Who is in the hospital?
Mystery: What has her so concerned?
Empathy/Distress: The situation has her really distressed.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Maya’s past.
INT-HOME-DAY: Wound
Description: Jacob pulls up into the driveway of a palatial mansion. He rings the bell and is greeted by a butler. As he walks into a library, he tenses up, but proceeds to walk in.
An older man is seated a large desk. Jacob pulls up a chair and sits down. The older man berates him for fucking up the Tyson deal and wants to know how he plans to get back at Viktor, if he has the balls for it. He wants to know if Jacob needs a reminder in fucking people, or if he’s decided to just bend over and get fucked, as always?
Jacob is sitting with an older man, who is berating him and wants to know if he needs a reminder in how to fuck people. Jacob gets angry and leaves.
Start: Jacob is in a mansion, talking to his father.
Challenging Situation: The father is upset with the losses because of Tyson Electric.
Conflict: He threatens Jacob with consequences and reminds him of how he got his scar. Jacob can be replaced.
Finish: Jacob storms out with the assurance that he’ll handle things.
Open Loop: Was Jacob abused by his father?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-CAR-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Jacob leaves the house. Furious with his father’s diatribe, he makes a call to someone called Eddie and wants to know where they are with their inside guy. Eddie replies that he’s hesitating. Jacob wants him nailed down now. Break him if necessary. They have to move.
As he drives, Jacob makes a phone call and asks the person where they are with Derek. The person gives him an update. Jacob asks him to step on it, he wants more information and how Tyson Electric slipped through.
Start: Jacob is driving back to his office.
Challenging Situation: He needs to figure out a way of getting back at Viktor and makes call.
Conflict: He wants more information from an inside source.
Finish: Asserts that the source can be ‘broken’ if he doesn’t cooperate.
Open Loop: Who is Derek?
Mystery: How will Derek help Jacob?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: Viktor walks into Maya’s cabin and demands to know why she left the IPO call. Maya is upset by his belligerence and tells him that she needs some time. Viktor gets more annoyed and tells her that they can’t fuck up this deal. It’s big and needs their attention. He wants to know what she’s preoccupied with that she can’t focus on the business at hand.
Maya tells him that she’ll let him in when she’s ready and not at all if he behaves like an asshole. She storms out.
Viktor checks on Maya.
Start: After getting the text from Tara, Maya is disturbed and does not rejoin the board meeting. Viktor wraps up and goes into her cabin.
Challenging Situation: Viktor is upset at her skipping out on the meeting.
Conflict: Maya is in a pensive mood and retorts angrily to his questioning.
Finish: Viktor leaves, angry, when Maya tells him that it’s none of his business.
Open Loop: What is Maya hiding?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: A clash between Viktor and Maya, strain on their marriage.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY: Strange Behavior
Description: A furious Viktor goes back to his office and calls his assistant in to go over his day. He tells her to schedule a meeting with someone called Claire Logan, who’s been trying to get on the books with him for a while.
Viktor summons his assistant to go over his schedule and sets a time for dinner with a Claire.
Start: Viktor is arranging his daily schedule and has a late-night dinner with a woman named Claire.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish: Looks up Claire’s profile and seems happy.
Open Loop: Is Viktor cheating on Maya?
Mystery: Who is Claire?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Strange Behavior
Description: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text with instructions on meeting with someone that night. He is so shaken by it that he has to rush into the bathroom and throw up. But the person is insistent and presses him to confirm. Sends him a picture of his wife, shopping.
Derek crumbles and agrees to meet.
An analyst at Viktor and Maya’s office gets a text. Meet tonight.
Start: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text from an unknown party.
Challenging Situation: The text shakes the analyst, Derek.
Conflict: He replies that he can’t, but the unknown party threatens to spill his secret.
Finish: Derek unhappily agrees to meet.
Open Loop: What is the matter with the analyst?
Mystery: How is his wife connected?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Betrayal of Viktor and Maya.
EXT-PARK-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Derek is on a park bench. Another man walks up and sits at the other end of the bench. He begins talking to Derek discreetly and wants him to pass on information regarding the DriveNXT IPO. IS there any weakness in the deal?
Derek is hesitant, but the stranger wonders what his wife will say when she finds out that Derek has mortgaged their house to pay his gambling debts, but still needs money. If he does this for them, his debts will be cleared and his wife needn’t find out. Derek folds and tells him about a safety report that was covered up at DriveNXT and a whistleblower who was let go of to safeguard the secret.
Derek is sitting on a bench with Eddie. Conversation about passing on information from Viktor’s office. Blackmail about his gambling debt, house mortgaged and revealing it to his wife. What deal is going down now? Any weaknesses?
Start: Derek is meeting with Eddie.
Challenging Situation: Eddie is pressing him for more information regarding Viktor’s deals.
Conflict: Derek wants out, but Eddie is unrelenting and blackmails him.
Finish: Derek reveals something about DriveNXT.
Open Loop: Will the DriveNXT IPO be put in jeopardy?
Mystery: What is Derek’s secret?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
EXT-CAFÉ-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
Description: Viktor is at a business dinner with Claire Logan, who wants his company to invest in her startup. Viktor is interested but needs to know more. Asks her to come to their office for a more formal meeting next week.
When she excuses herself to the ladies’ room, he slips something in her drink. She comes back and finishes her drink and he suggests that it just struck him that they can go over some stuff right away instead of waiting. How about going back to the office now? She agrees and they leave.
But someone is secretly following him.
Viktor is having dinner incognito with Claire. Slips something in her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room. Pays with cash and they leave. Someone is photographing/following them.
Start: Viktor meets Claire for dinner and discusses her proposal for investment.
Challenging Situation: Something’s on his mind. Asks about her family and friends, who she lives with.
Conflict: Claire is upset about the personal questions.
Finish: He slips something into her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room.
Open Loop: Is Viktor a rapist? Who’s following him?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: something bad is going down. Viktor isn’t a good guy.
INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: Maya is in a hospital room, with another woman and at the bedside of an old man who is unconscious and hooked up to several machines. A doctor is telling her that they’re doing all they can, but it can go either way.
When he leaves, she turns to the other woman and tells her that she should get some sleep. A room has been arranged for her on another floor. Maya will stay for a while. The other woman, who is Tara, gives her a hug and tells her that she’s glad she changed her mind. Tara walks away. Maya sits down in a chair next to the old man’s bed and looks at him. She then begins talking to him, telling him how much she hates him. He’s her father.
Maya is at an old man’s beside. He’s unconscious, hooked up to machines.
Start: Maya is in a hospital room, looking at an old man.
Challenging Situation: He’s badly injured, unconscious and hooked up to several machines.
Conflict: The doctors say it doesn’t look hopeful.
Finish: Maya calls the old man dad and begins telling him how much she hated him.
Open Loop: Why does Maya hate her father?
Mystery: Why is she estranged from her family?
Empathy/Distress: Her father is between life and death.
Payoff: The sick man is her father.
Irony:
Setup: What is Maya’s past?
EXT-HOME-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: As Maya begins to talk, we see her and Tara as children, standing outside a home with a man and a woman. The house has a notice of repossession and a marshal is sealing it up, ignoring the pleas of the man to give him more time. The woman is crying.
When the marshals leave, the man and woman lead the children to a diner. They order coffee and some ice cream for the children, counting out pennies to pay. He then reassures them that he will get the house back. But for a few days, Maya and her sister will have to stay with his friend, Dave.
As the children cry, the father and mother drop them off at Dave’s. Dave takes a liking to Maya and tells her that he’s going to take care of her good…
Flashback to childhood and losing home.
Start: Maya, Tara, mother and father looking at their home being repossessed.
Challenging Situation: They have nowhere to live.
Conflict: Maya is furious with her father and blames him for their situation.
Finish: She vows that she’ll never talk to him again.
Open Loop: Why does Maya hate her father?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-HOME-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: It’s 2 am. Viktor comes home and sees that Maya isn’t home. He texts her and hops in the shower. When he gets out, there’s no reply from her. He puts in a sex tape and begins watching it.
Viktor comes home late. Maya not there. Texts her. Doesn’t get a reply.
Start: Viktor comes home early in the morning after his dinner with Claire and sees that Maya is not home.
Challenging Situation: He texts her and gets a reply that she’s spending the night with a friend who needs her.
Conflict: He tells her about dinner with Claire.
Finish: He showers and watches a bondage video.
Open Loop: Did Viktor sleep with Claire?
Mystery: Why is Viktor watching a bondage video?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The strain on their marriage is growing.
EXT-HIGHWAY-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Eddie is driving in his car on a highway, when he gets a call from Jacob, who wants an update on how the Derek meeting went. Eddie tells him that they have a promising lead and he’s on his way to chase it down. Jacob wants it to be done because the IPO is tomorrow.
Jacob tells him that he wants to fuck Viktor at any cost. Don’t let him down. Eddie promises to deliver.
Eddie is driving. Texts Jacob- promising lead, chasing it down.
Start: Eddie is on a highway, driving.
Challenging Situation: Jacob calls him and he lets him know he’s chasing down a promising lead.
Conflict: Jacob wants it to be done at any cost.
Finish: Eddie promises to deliver.
Open Loop: Will Eddie be able to track down the insider?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-STOCK EXCHANGE-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: Viktor is on his way in the car the next morning and is trying to contact Maya, with no luck. He arrives at the Stock Exchange and meets the founders of DriveNXT. They’re there to ring the bell to signal the launch of their IPO.
Viktor and DriveNXT founders at the ringing of the bell, for their IPO launch. They head to a news interview. Viktor is trying to reach Maya with no luck.
Start: Viktor is prepping for the launch of the DriveNXT IPO.
Challenging Situation: Maya is MIA.
Conflict: She is not answering Viktor’s calls and texts.
Finish: Viktor goes to the SE without Maya and rings the bell.
Open Loop: Will Eddie track down the source in time to damage the IPO?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Deception
Description: Maya wakes up and realizes that she’s missed the SE bell-ringing. Tara comes in and tells her that she should go home for a while, Tara will take over. But Maya wants to stay and freshens up in the hospital. She meets with the head of the hospital who assures her that the best care is being given.
She texts Viktor with a good luck message and let shim know that she’s dealing with a situation and can’t join him.
Maya wakes up. Father still unconscious. Tara comes in and asks if she wants to go home and freshen up. Maya freshens up in the hospital and meets the head of the hospital. Texts Viktor good luck for the interview. Evades his question on where she is.
Start: Maya wakes up in the hospital.
Challenging Situation: Viktor has been trying to reach her for the DriveNXT launch.
Conflict: She does not feel up to working.
Finish: Lets Viktor know that she’s unable to make it, good luck.
Open Loop: When will Maya tell Viktor the truth?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Growing strain on Viktor and Maya’s marriage.
INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY: Deception
Description: Viktor and the DriveNXT guys are at a news studio for an interview. He gets Maya’s text message but can’t do anything about it as the interview is about to begin.
They answer some questions on why their company is revolutionary. It goes well and they are pleased with it.
Viktor and the founders of DriveNXT have an interview to boost the IPO launch. They’re pleased with it.
Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are plugging for their IPO in a news interview.
Challenging Situation: Viktor has to cover for Maya.
Conflict: He is furious with her, but has to focus.
Finish: The interview goes well and everyone is pumped with the early numbers.
Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Strain on Viktor and Maya’s marriage.
EXT-TOWN-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Eddie is in a small suburban town and is trying to locate a house. He gets directions and finds it.
Eddie is driving around a small suburban/rural town, asking for Steve Latham. Finds his house.
Start: Eddie is looking for a guy named Latham.
Challenging Situation: He’s never seen the guy before and doesn’t know how he looks.
Conflict: Jacob is desperate to find Latham.
Finish: Eddie finds his house.
Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-HOME-DAY: Conspiracy
Eddie is in the house, talking to a guy who’s in his pyjamas and depressed. This is Todd Latham, the whistleblower from DriveNXT, whose life has been ruined by them.
Eddie convinces him to share documents he managed to hide away. This is the chance to save lives and get the truth out there. Latham hesitates as he has an NDA, but Eddie promises $2 million and relocation. He will never be found and he will get justice. Latham agrees and gives him a USB stick that he has hidden away.
Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish: They are trying to figure out the next steps.
Open Loop: Will Eddie find the insider in time to damage the IPO?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Latham’s career was ruined because he spoke the truth.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Jacob gets a call from Eddie that he has the information and will send it over in a secure transmission.
Eddie calls Jacob and says he has the papers.
Start: Eddie calls Jacob to tell him that they have the documents.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish:
Open Loop: Will Jacob be able to damage the IPO?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Jacob gets a copy of the documents from Eddie and calls a friendly reporter, Michael, to leak the documents. The reporter needs verification
Start: Jacob calls his broker and asks him to buy DriveNXT when it falls.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to convince the reporter to run the news immediately.
Conflict: The reporter tells him that he doesn’t want to get involved because he doesn’t want it tracked back to him, but will pass it on the right guy.
Finish: Jacob patches the reporter through to Latham as a confidential source and convinces the reporter to run it with comment, without delay.
Open Loop: Will Jacob damage the IPO?
Mystery: What is the relationship between Jacob and Michael?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are in his office, having lunch as they watch the numbers. His assistant tells him that he’s got a call from a Financial Times reporter. He tells her to say he’ll call back, but the reporter insists that it’s urgent.
When Viktor talks to him, the reporter tells him that he is in possession of evidence that DriveNXT is covering up a failed safety report. Does he have any comments? Viktor tries to dismiss it, but the reporter tells him that he has verifiable proof and is going with the story.
Viktor and founders are at lunch. The founders get a call from a reporter regarding a failed safety study that was covered up.
Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are having a celebratory lunch. They get a call from a reporter seeking comment.
Challenging Situation: The founders try to clarify that the study was outdated.
Conflict: The reporter isn’t convinced.
Finish: The article will run immediately.
Open Loop: Will the IPO be damaged?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: A news break begins playing on the TV that new evidence has come to light about a fudged safety report at DriveNXT. Viktor makes calls to the news studio to kill it, with no luck.
News break with documentary evidence that DriveNXT’s safety features are lacking and it was covered up to authorities.
Start: Jacob’s reporter friend gets the news broken through a colleague.
Challenging Situation: The IPO stock price is falling rapidly.
Conflict: Viktor and team are trying to get their stand across to news outlets, without success.
Finish: The price is falling into the red.
Open Loop: Will the IPO be damaged?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Jacob watches the news with glee as the IPO begins to falter. He calls his prime and asks him to buy through the other channels.
He then calls Eddie and tells him to go ahead with Latham.
Jacob is watching the numbers fall. Hanson calls and says ready. Jacob says go.
Start: Jacob calls Hanson and asks him to buy.
Challenging Situation: Jacob goes against advice to not buy.
Conflict: He is advised by his team that any link to them will be dangerous.
Finish: He okays the buying of the stock anyway.
Open Loop: Why is Jacob buying stock of DriveNXT?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-HOME-DAY: Hidden Agenda
Description: As Latham packs up to leave, Eddie shoots him with a silenced gun and covers up his presence to make it look like suicide.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: All loose ends are tied up.
Irony:
Setup: Jacob’s revenge against Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: Viktor and the founders are forced to watch as the numbers fall disastrously. Trading is halted. He wants revenge.
Viktor and his team watch as the numbers keep falling. Someone is buying up large chunks of DriveNXT. The IPO is lost. Viktor has lost billions. He cannot contact Maya.
Start: Viktor and his team are shellshocked as the IPO numbers plunge.
Challenging Situation: Someone is buying up a majority share.
Conflict: Viktor tells his team to dump their share quickly even though they are his clients.
Finish: The IPO has tanked spectacularly.
Open Loop: How will Viktor respond to his loss?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Huge loss.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Viktor’s counterplot against Jacob.
INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT: Wound
Description: Maya’s father’s vitals plunge. A crash team scrambles to revive him, but despite their best efforts, he dies.
Maya’s father slips into a coma. Dies. Her mother arrives.
Start: Maya’s father is still unconscious.
Challenging Situation: His vitals start plunging.
Conflict: A medical team tries to stabilize him.
Finish: He dies.
Open Loop: How will this affect Maya?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Impact on Maya and Viktor’s marriage and the company.
ACT 3
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: Viktor is in the office and the phone lines are choked with investors who are spooked by the collapse of the IPO. He does his best to reassure them that their investments are okay and that the company is safe from collapse. But where is Maya? He is upset with her absence at a crucial time for them. By the time he is done with the day, he is exhausted and thirsting for revenge against Jacob.
Viktor’s office is buzzing with calls from investors about the failed IPO. They are spooked.
Start: Viktor’s phone and the office phone are choked with calls from investors.
Challenging Situation: He has to reassure them that their investments are ok. The company won’t be affected by the IPO’s failure.
Conflict: Maya is missing.
Finish: Deals with all calls and is exhausted.
Open Loop: Will Viktor and maya’s company survive?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: They are in a bad spot because of Jacob.
Payoff:
Irony: This wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t triggered the collapse of Tyson.
Setup: Will they seek revenge now?
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: Jacob’s father is at the office and tries to play down his victory against Viktor, antagonizing Jacob and leading to a war of words which results in his being forced to leave.
Jacob is gloating over his father.
Start: Jacob’s father has dropped in.
Challenging Situation: He tries to pull Jacob down a notch despite his success against Viktor.
Conflict: Jacob must remain calm, while gloating.
Finish: Jacob throws his father out when he antagonizes him too much.
Open Loop: Will Jacob’s father back off?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Jacob has his revenge against Viktor
Irony: His win hasn’t appeased his father, whose goading pushed him to it.
Setup: What will his next move be?
INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Wound
Description: Maya is at her parents’ house and must console Tara and her mother, who are inconsolable. As hard as it is for her, Maya must let go of her anger toward her parents in the moment. An emotional dam breaks as Maya and her mother reunite after her father’s death.
Maya and her mother and Tara are emotional from the father’s death and the reunion after years.
Start: Maya is at her parents’ home.
Challenging Situation: Her father has just died and her mother and sister are inconsolable.
Conflict: Maya is trying to let go of her old emotions towards her parents.
Finish: Maya and her mother and Tara bond.
Open Loop: Is Maya back with her family for good?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Her father has died without her being able to talk to him after all those years.
Payoff:
Irony: She regrets the years of estrangement.
Setup:
EXT-STREET-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: The mole in Viktor’s office turns out to be Derek, the analyst. He meets with Eddie, Jacob’s right-hand man and wants out of their deal, but Eddie twists the knife and threatens to expose him to his family, and to Maya and Viktor for having already violated the NDA he has with them. Torn between his loyalty to Viktor and Maya, and his fear of being ruined, Eddie gives in and agrees to keep feeding Eddie information. HE shares details of the next big deal on the plate, PrimaCorp.
Derek meets Eddie. Wants out as he delivered. Eddie says they’re just getting started. The threat remains. What’s next? PrimaCorp.
Start: Derek is the mole in Viktor’s office. He meets Eddie.
Challenging Situation: He wants out, but Eddie isn’t ready to listen.
Conflict: His sense of loyalty and gratitude for Viktor and Maya clash with being blackmailed.
Finish: Eddie crushes him by threatening exposure to Viktor as well as his family and jail time for violating his NDA with Viktor.
Open Loop: Will Derek continue spying or will he crumble?
Mystery: What does Eddie have over Derek?
Empathy/Distress: Derek is torn by his betrayal.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Will PrimaCorp be the new battle for Jacob and Viktor?
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Wound
Description: Viktor is furious at being blindsided and allowing Latham to be taken so easily. But the bigger issue is that there’s a leak in the office and they need to find and plug it. But he’s stretched without Maya and is angry at her unexplained and continuing absence. His firefighting efforts continue with multiple interviews to the press, trying to dismiss the leaked revelations as inaccurate.
Viktor is angry. He wants to know how they got blindsided and how someone got to Latham. The news is all about DriveNXT and the losses are huge. Where the fuck is Maya?
Start: Viktor is angry that they got blindsided so badly and allowed their insider to get compromised.
Challenging Situation: Maya cannot be located. There is a leak in the office.
Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya and is furious with her for abandoning the company at this time. He is trying to find out who in the office leaked information to Jacob about Latham.
Finish: Viktor finishes giving comments to a reporter about DriveNXT’s safety. Tries again to reach Maya.
Open Loop: Will Viktor stumble upon Derek?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Hunt for the mole, stress between Maya and Viktor.
EXT-WATERSIDE-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor calls Jason a burner and asks to talk somewhere safe. When they meet, Jason appraises Viktor that the situation is grim. They still have no idea how deeply their communications and information are compromised and is working to find out. But for now, they must assume that anyone could be the mole and that the rot is deep.
Viktor and Jason talk. Mole in the office, spyware. Everything could be exposed. Texts Maya- need to talk.
Start: Jason texts Viktor on his burner that they need to talks somewhere safe.
Challenging Situation: Their communications could be compromised.
Conflict: They do not know how badly they’ve been compromised. Need to find out.
Finish: Jason and Viktor decide that all employees must be followed and all communications must be tapped. They have to go deep.
Open Loop: Will they apprehend Derek?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: What else is compromised?
INT-HOME-NIGHT: Wound
Description: Maya returns home to pack a bigger bag, intending to return to her mother’s side and is confronted by an angry Viktor for abandoning the ship. As she tries to explain the developments of the past 24 hours and states that she is unable to hop back into the ring just yet, he accuses her of conniving with Jacob to bring him down. Maya is furious with him for doubting her loyalty and walks out, but end sup calling Jacob for emotional support.
Maya is home to pack a bag. Viktor confronts her. Fight. He accuses her of betraying him and passing on information to Jacob. Maya storms out and heads back to mother’s house. Calls Jacob- need a friend. Jacob will meet her.
Start: Maya is home, packing.
Challenging Situation: Viktor confronts her.
Conflict: Maya is torn between her duty to the company and wanting to spend time with her family. When she says she cannot go into work, Viktor accuses her of conniving with Jacob.
Finish: Maya walks out and calls Jacob for support.
Open Loop: Will Maya and Viktor’s marriage end?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Maya’s father died and Viktor doesn’t sympathize.
Payoff:
Irony: His behavior is driving Maya to Jacob.
Setup: Will Viktor and Maya get back?
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Deception
Description: A conflicted Derek returns to the office late at night and plants the spyware that Eddie has forced him to. He is ashamed at having betrayed Viktor and his family, but has no choice now and must go all the way and see his betrayal through to the bitter end.
Derek plugs his phone in to his desktop to charge.
Start: Derek sneaks into the office late at night.
Challenging Situation: He needs to plant spyware as instructed by Eddie.
Conflict: He is ashamed at betraying Viktor and his family.
Finish: He hesitates, but does what he has to.
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Derek is conflicted.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: What information will be compromised now?
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Hidden Agenda
Description: As Derek plants the spyware as he’s been instructed to, it’s celebration time in Jacob’s office as they access Viktor’s data and communications. The goal is to find out which deals Viktor is betting big on and hijack or sabotage them.
Jacob’s office- They’re into Viktor’s servers and comms.
Open Loop: Jacob’s vendetta against Viktor continues.
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Further battles.
ACT 4
INT-OFFICES-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Several news reporters get anonymous information about a juicy newsbreak that day. They are given a time and place to get to.
Several members of the press get calls promising a juicy story at a certain time and place.
Open Loop: Who gave the reporters the tip?
Mystery: Why did they tip the reporters?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Conflict between Viktor and Maya.
EXT-CEMETERY-MORNING: Wound
Description: As Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral, Viktor shows up, uninvited. When he sees Jacob by Maya’s side, he is enraged and gets into an argument with Maya and in a moment of aggression, pushes her to the ground. A scuffle breaks out between him and Jacob as he steps in to help Maya and get Viktor to back off. The press, who got the anonymous tip, gleefully lap the story up and splash it over the news.
Maya’s father’s funeral. Viktor shows up uninvited and gets into an argument with Maya. She ends up falling and the press laps it up. Jacob is there and helps Maya, which antagonizes Viktor and he punches Jacob.
Start: Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral. Viktor joins, uninvited.
Challenging Situation: Jacob is present and by Maya’s side.
Conflict: Maya cold-shoulders Viktor. Enraged, he gets into an argument with her and ends up pushing her. As the press capture the face-off, Jacob steps in.
Finish: Maya, her family and Jacob leave.
Open Loop: Who gave the reporters the tip?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Maya’s father’s funeral is impacted by Viktor and Jacob’s rivalry.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: More estrangement between Viktor and Maya.
INT-OFFICE-DAY: Hidden Layer
Description: When Viktor returns to the office from the debacle at the funeral, he is greeted by the police, who are waiting to question him and his staff about Claire Logan, a woman with whom he had a dinner meeting a few days ago. Viktor answers their questions, but conceals the fact that he and Claire left the restaurant to go someplace else after their dinner meeting. The police leave, but promise to be back if they need further information.
The police walk in to Viktor’s office to question him regarding a Claire Logan, whom he met for dinner a few days ago. He denies any knowledge of what happened after dinner.
Start: Viktor is back in the office from the funeral and the police come in to the office, wanting to speak with him.
Challenging Situation: They want to question him and staff regarding the disappearance of Claire, whom he met for dinner recently.
Conflict: Viktor conceals the fact that he left the restaurant together with Claire to go elsewhere.
Finish: The police leave and will be back if they need more information.
Open Loop: What happened to Claire?
Mystery: Is Viktor involved?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Trouble for Viktor.
EXT-STREET-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: Derek calls Eddie to let him know that the police were just in the office to question Viktor and others about Claire Logan.
Derek calls Eddie and lets him know about the police coming to the office asking about Claire.
Open Loop: Will Jacob use this information to hurt Viktor more?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor steps out of the office to call Jason on a burner phone and asks to meet.
Viktor calls Jason on burners- meet.
Open Loop:
Mystery: Why does Viktor want to meet Jacob secretly again?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
EXT-STREET-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor tells Jason about the police visit when they meet and wants Brooklyn to be secured. They’re not sure if Jacob knows, but they cannot risk him or the police finding out. To make sure this doesn’t happen, Jason assures Viktor that he’s going to go on a fishing trip right away.
Viktor and Jason meet in secret.
Start: Viktor tells Jason about the recent police visit.
Challenging Situation: Something critical that is at risk of exposure needs to be concealed.
Conflict: They are unsure of how much Jacob knows, but need to take the chance so that the police don’t find out.
Finish: Jason will go on a fishing trip.
Open Loop: What is in Brooklyn that needs to be concealed?
Mystery: What is the fishing trip for?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The secret in Brooklyn
INT-DOMINATRIX CHAMBER-NIGHT: Wound
Description: Viktor leaves Jason and goes to visit his dominatrix. As she binds, gags and whips him, promising him the pain he craves, Viktor asks for more. He has a flashback to his childhood, of being hidden in a closet, looking on in horror at a woman whipping a man. The memory collides with thoughts about the IPO sabotage, Maya’s betrayal and the police visit. BY the end of his session, Viktor is charged up and fortifies himself with a snort of amphetamine. He goes back to the office and starts making plans about bouncing back with the PrimaCorp deal.
Viktor is getting whipped by a dominatrix, who tells him he’s going to get the pain he deserves. He keeps asking for more. Why? Flashback to his childhood. Trapped in a closet, watching a woman whip a man.
Start: Viktor is bound, gagged and getting whipped.
Challenging Situation: Flashbacks of childhood memories.
Conflict: Jacob, Maya, DriveNXT, the police visit, they all intertwine in his head.
Finish: He snorts amphetamine after the session and puts on his suit, ready to do battle. Calls Julius about PrimaCorp.
Open Loop: Who is the woman Viktor has flashbacks of?
Mystery: Was the memory responsible for Viktor going to see dominatrices?
Empathy/Distress: Viktor had a traumatic childhood?
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: PrimaCorp.
Description: A car pulls up behind an abandoned warehouse and a lone, masked man gets out. He surveys the area around the warehouse and when he sees that it is fully deserted and there’s no one around, he proceeds to climb up the fire escape to an upper floor.
A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.
Open Loop: Who is the masked man?
Mystery: What is in the warehouse?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The secret in the warehouse.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
Description: Unseen by the masked man, someone is watching the warehouse from a car parked a couple of blocks away. The car has one occupant, who is watching a video of a masked, chained figure on a laptop in the passenger seat. He has seen the masked man.
Someone is watching from the car.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: What is the video he’s watching?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The masked man’s apprehension.
INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: The masked man reaches the floor he wants to enter and proceeds to do so through a window. IT is dark inside and he turns on a flashlight that is covered to emit the least amount of light for him to pick his way through. He crosses the large room he is in and neters a smaller room on the far side.
The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.
Open Loop: Who is the masked man?
Mystery: What is in the warehouse?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: What is in the next room.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat
Description: The man who is watching the warehouse gets out of his car and quickly covers the ground between him and the masked man’s car. He gets on the ground, rolls under the car and attaches a device to the undercarriage of the car. He then rolls back out and quickly gets back to his car.
A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: What did he do under the masked man’s car?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery
Back inside his car, the watcher settles in and continues watching the live stream on his laptop.
The watcher is looking at a live stream on a laptop inside the car.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: What is he watching?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT- WAREHOUSE ROOM-NIGHT: Hidden Layer
Inside the warehouse, the masked man enters the smaller room. He flicks a light switch and a small fluorescent light turns on. It illuminates a masked and chained figure in the middle of the room. The figure isn’t moving.
The man takes off the mask from the figure. It’s Claire.
Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: The masked and chained figure is Claire. This is the video the watcher has been seeing.
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Back inside his car, the watcher sees the man unmasking the dead body. HE texts someone It’s her.
Open Loop: Who is the watcher?
Mystery: How is he able to watch what’s happening in the warehouse? Who did he text?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The watcher is part of a larger plot. Who is he conspiring with?
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: The masked man puts down the duffel bag on his back and proceeds to pull out a plastic tarp and some tools from it. He lays down the plastic on the floor, puts on a pair of overalls and safety glasses. He unhooks the body and lays it on the plastic. HE then picks up one of the tools, which happens to be an electric saw and proceeds to start cutting up the body.
Man enters room. His light shines on a masked, chained figure. He lays down a plastic sheet, unchains the figure and proceeds to cut up the body. He finishes cutting up the body.
Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Subsequent blackmail or exposure.
EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT: Mystery
The watcher’s dashboard clock shows that forty-five minutes have passed since the masked man entered the building.
Open Loop: Why is the watcher recording this? What will he do with it?
Mystery: Who is the watcher?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: The masked man wraps up the plastic and stuffs it into the bag. He packs the tools and the overalls in a smaller bag and picks it up. Walks out into the bigger room.
Wraps up the plastic sheet and loads up a large duffel bag. Shoulders it and walks out.
Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange Behavior
Description: At the far end of the large room, the masked man pauses at a junction box and opens it up. He pulls out a couple of wires and sparks them. A fire starts up. He picks up the bag on the floor and proceeds to climb out of the window onto the fire escape. He then closes the window and climbs down the fire escape.
The man pulls out a bunch of wires from an old junction box. Sparks them. A fire starts up.
Open Loop: Did Viktor kill Claire?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor? Why is he burning the warehouse?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
He exits the warehouse from the fire escape.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat
The masked man jogs to his car, pops the trunk and loads his bags into it. He gets into the car, starts it and drives out of the alleyway. Above him, a window shatters and flames appear from it.
The man jogs quickly to his vehicle, loads the duffel bag into the trunk.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Is the masked man Viktor?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent Threat
Description: The watcher starts following the masked man’s car at a very discreet distance.
Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Why is the watcher following him instead of apprehending him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT
Description: The masked man’s car is speeding along dark and deserted country roads. The watcher’s car tails him at a safe distance so he cannot be seen.
The car drives along a lonely road.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Where is he driving to?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT: Mystery
Description: The masked man reaches the ocean and an old jetty that has a boat moored to it. HE loads his bags into the boat and sets out. He goes a fair distance, dumps the bags and watches them sink before turning around and making his way back to the shore. HE sends a text from a burner- Mermaid away – and then disposes of the phone in the water.
The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.
Open Loop: Will the masked man be caught?
Mystery: Who did he text?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: He was planning to dump the body. That’s why he drove here.
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
Description: The masked man gets into his car and takes his mask off. It’s Jason. He sends a text and drives away.
Man sends a text- Mermaid away.
Open Loop: Why is Jason here? Did he kill Claire?
Mystery: Who did he text?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
Description: The watcher’s car is parked on a dirt track a short distance away. He is watching the masked man’s car drive away on a tracking device.
A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.
Open Loop: Will Jason be caught?
Mystery: Why is the watcher just tailing him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: He planted a tracking device when he went under the masked man’s car.
Irony:
Setup: The mystery of Claire’s death.
ACT 5
INT-BOXING RING-MORNING: Hidden Layer
Description: Jacob drops by the boxing ring as Viktor trains. He tells Viktor that he shouldn’t have meddled with the Tyson Electric deal and that whatever has happened since then is only a fallout of that. He’s had enough of Viktor’s scheming against him and is going to do something about it for good.
He tells viktor that the IPO was just the beginning and Jacob now has the goods to take out Viktor completely, including driving Maya away from him and back to Jacob. There’s nothing that Viktor can do, because if he tries to resist, then the world will know about Claire.
Jacob drops in. Confrontation between him and Viktor. Jacob vows that this is just the beginning. Maya is going to be his again and, he knows about Brooklyn.
Start: Viktor is shadow-boxing early in the morning.
Challenging Situation: Jacob walks in to the gym and approaches him.
Conflict: Jacob threatens Viktor with blackmail about Brooklyn.
Finish: Jacob vows that he’s going to destroy him completely and reclaim Maya.
Open Loop: What is Jacob’s next move?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: The watcher was connected to Jacob.
Irony:
Setup: Viktor’s blackmail.
INT-GYM-DAY: Conspiracy
Description: When Jacob leaves, Viktor jumps out of the ring and goes to his locker. He takes out a burner phone and sends a text to an unknown number. He knows. Need to know how much.
After Jacob leaves, Viktor texts from a burner phone. Laundry dirty. Anything else to go in the bag?
Open Loop: Who did Viktor text?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-HOME-DAY: Deception
Description: After his face off with Viktor, Jacob drops in on Maya to check on her. Maya tells him that her father’s death has shown her that holding grudges doesn’t pay off and she’s thinking about making an effort to resolve her differences with Viktor. He’s got issues, but isn’t a monster. Jacob is conflicted as he listens to Maya think about going back to Viktor and asks her to come with him as he has something to show her.
Maya and Jacob leave for an unknown destination.
Start: Jacob comes to Maya’s mother’s house to check on her.
Challenging Situation: Maya is still upset with Viktor.
Conflict: Maya wonders if she should work with Viktor on solving their differences. Jacob is conflicted as he sees her swaying. He cannot let her go back.
Finish: Jacob asks Maya to take a drive with him to show her something important.
Open Loop: Will Jacob tell Maya about Viktor/Claire?
Mystery: does Maya really want to get back with Viktor?
Empathy/Distress: She is torn about her marriage.
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
INT-APARTMENT-DAY: Wound
Description: Jacob brings Maya over to his apartment and shows her the photos and tape from the Brooklyn warehouse. Maya is shattered to find out that Viktor is a killer and tells Jacob that she can never go back to Viktor now. Jacob assures her that he’ll do everything he can to keep her safe and that together, they can figure out a way to bring down Viktor without harming her, or her family.
Jacob shows Maya the tape. Viktor is a killer.
Start: Jacob and Maya are in his apartment.
Challenging Situation: He shows her the photos and tape of the body in Brooklyn.
Conflict: Maya is shattered. She breaks down and Jacob comforts her.
Finish: Maya decides that she can never go back to Viktor. She’s afraid because he’s a killer.
Open Loop: Will Maya and Viktor’s marriage end? Will Jacob expose Viktor to the authorities?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff: Jacob reveals the truth to Maya.
Irony:
Setup: Viktor’s exposure.
INT-HOME-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Description: Viktor is in the office by himself when he gets a text on his burner. He reads it and calls Jason. He tells him that they’re going to war.
Viktor gets a text – he knows everything.
Viktor texts back- then it’s war.
Viktor texts Jason- it’s go time with PrimaCorp.
Open Loop: Will Viktor be exposed?
Mystery: Who texted him?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: The battle between Viktor and Jacob.
-
Module 3 Lesson 12 For Forum Outline With Intrigue
Elizabeth Dickinson’s Outline With Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are a lot of scenes where I can cover at least 3 of the intrigue elements already.
EXT. Heaven – Intriguing World and Mystery
Oversoul sees angels, laments situation, discovers he must purge regrets of 5 key past lives. Past lives introduced.
<div>
Start: Oversoul watching past lives on screen
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Wants to become angel
Conflict: Isn’t allowed to
Action: Must purge regrets of past lives
Finish: Watches first life with that intention
Open Loop: What are these regrets, how will they
be purged?Mystery: What happened in these past lives that’s
holding back Oversoul?Empathy/Distress: Stuck reincarnating
Payoff:
Irony: Oversoul doesn’t necessarily know more
than the lives it’s livedSetup: Intro of future season characters
</div>
INT. Celt’s hut – night – Mystery
Celt slips out at night but not before being questioned by youngest sister about what he’s doing. Pet mouse introduced.
<div>
Start: Celt’s leaving house illicitly at night
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Sister wakes up, questions.
Conflict: Celt must soothe her to let him go
Action: Celt distracts her with mouse
Finish: Celt leaves
Open Loop:
Mystery: Why is Celt going out at night?
Empathy/Distress:
Disappoints sisterPayoff:
Irony:
Setup: Why is Celt going out at night?
</div>
EXT. Outside hut – night – Conspiracy
Celt and best friend Coran go out patrolling.
<div>
Start: Celt joins Coran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt isn’t supposed to be
out at nightConflict: Coran thinks Sasha might tell
Action: Celt reassures Coran
Finish: They both leave
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Why are they outside?Empathy/Distress: Celt feels guilty at disobeying
parentsPayoff:
Irony: Coran’s father doesn’t mind him being out
at night, but Celt’s family does.Setup:
</div>
EXT. Ceremonial fire – night – Intriguing World
Village wise woman Marta instructs girls in goddess worship. Celt and Coran watch. Coran tells Celt he should tell village elders about his abilities to see divinities. Celt says that’s for girls.
<div>
Start:
Celt & Coran pass Marta teaching girls
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wants to watch
Conflict: Coran says there’s no time and why
doesn’t Celt tell Marta about Celt’s own abilities
Action:
They leaveFinish: Marta reveals by behavior that she knows
they were there.Open Loop: Why are they outside?
Mystery: Why won’t Celt reveal his psychic
abilities?Empathy/Distress: Celt doesn’t believe his
abilities are manly.Payoff:
Irony: Marta sees them, doesn’t tell Celt’s
parents.Setup: Establishing Celt’s psychic abilities and
triskele</div>
Ext. Roman legion camp – night – Imminent Threat
Celt and Coran spy on Roman soldiers from trees, learn fellow Celt Clu is teaching Romans to speak their language and that Romans are looking for boys to serve emperor.
<div>
Start: Celt and Coran spy on Roman soldiers from
trees
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt and Coran can’t reveal they’re
there.Conflict: They learn Romans are there to get boys
and girls from villageAction: Celt and Coran are alarmed
Finish: They race away
Open Loop:
Why do Romans want Celt children?Mystery: Why this area?
Empathy/Distress: Threat to village.
Payoff: Celt/Coran’s patrolling yielded something
usefulIrony:
Setup: Romans are coming soon.
</div>
Ext. Celt’s village – night Imminent Threat
Village elders holding council with village to decide what to do with information Celt and Coran brought about Romans. Disagreement about whether to be aggressive. Vulnerable tribal members sent away. Celt, Coran, Piran, Tyran, volunteer to stay, along with Celt’s mother, father, and youngest sister. Celt, Coran initiated as adults.
<div>
Start: Village debates what Celt/Coran told them
</div><div>Challenging Situation: They don’t know Roman
intentionsConflict: They disagree on how to handle it
Action: Marta gives emergency direction
Finish: Marta initiates boys into manhood, including
Celt/Coran who would otherwise be too youngOpen Loop:
Why are Romans picking on this village? What do they want kids for?Mystery: What do they really intend to do with
the kids?Empathy/Distress: Village is upset
Payoff:
Irony:
Kids who discover this, not adults, but are made adults.Setup:
Volunteers who stay will be at center of action.</div>
Ext. Celt’s stable – night Imminent Threat/Hidden Agenda
Celt gives beloved horse Emer into safekeeping of his crush Aiolfe. Sounds of Romans arriving.
<div>
Start: Celt strokes beloved horse Emer
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt has to send her away
for safetyConflict: Celt doesn’t want to
Action: Celt gives Emer to Aiolfe
Finish: Aiolfe kisses him, Romans heard arriving
Open Loop: What will happen to Emer and Celt and
Aiolfe’s relationship?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Romans are threatening.Payoff:
The kissIrony:
Setup:
Aiolfe is attracted to Celt, Emer established as one of AC’s
reincarnations. Celt establishes theme of protecting others.</div>
End of Act 1
Act 2
Ext. Village green – dawn Intriguing World/Imminent Threat
Remaining villagers work or play. Roman Commander asks for boy volunteers, Marta stalls. Sirius brings out map of Rome, uses soft power to charm. Roman Commander loses patience, menaces Celt’s mother. Celt has psychic vision of triskele symbol landing on destruction, then sees Taranis, accepts Taranis’ patronage in exchange for village safety. Volunteers to go with Romans, along with Coran, Piran, Tyran. Coran rejected by Romans because of crippled hand. Goddess Brigit castigates Taranis.
<div>
Start:
Romans arrive.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Romans ask for boy
volunteersConflict: Romans threaten Celt’s mom. Celt sees
triskele on destructionAction: Celt accepts Taranis patronage
Finish: Celt volunteers to go with Romans
Open Loop: What will happen to boys? What does it
mean to accept Taranis as primary influence? Why is Brigit upset?Mystery: Why are Romans really here? What does
Taranis really want?Empathy/Distress: Threats to mother, Celt having
to make choice of leaving village.Payoff: Threat was real.
Irony:
Contrast of Sirius soft power, commander’s hard powerSetup: Hearing of Taranis, Celt leaving
</div>
End of Act 2
Act 3
Ext. Track through Woods – day Strange behavior/imminent threat
Piran and Tyran can’t keep up with soldiers. At rest stop, Celt feeds them from his pack, admonishes them not to drink too much water. Sirius asks for more time to rest for boys and Commander refuses.
<div>
Start: Twins can’t keep pace with soldiers
</div><div>Challenging Situation: At rest stop, Celt advises
boys not to eat/drink too muchConflict:
Twins gobble/drink too much.Action: Sirius asks for more rest for boys
Finish: Commander refuses
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Boys can’t keep up. Sirius’ suggestion dismissed.Payoff:
Sirius put in place.Irony:
Future rest for boys at nightSetup:
Something bad will happen from boys eating/drinking too much</div>
Ext. Deeper in forest – day Imminent threat/strange behavior
Piran and Tyran are given to Sirius and soldier Cletus to carry on their backs. Tyran vomits on Cletus. Cletus throws Tyran against tree, breaking his neck. Commander docks Cletus’ pay.
<div>
Start: Twins lag behind
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Twins given to
Cletus/Sirius to carryConflict: One twin vomits on Cletus
Action: Cletus throws against tree
Finish: Tyran dies
Open Loop: How bad can these Romans be?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Tyran’s death
Payoff: Sirius’ warning proves true
Irony: Piran/Tyran did eat/drink too much
Setup: Cletus’ reoccurring cruelty
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night Hidden Layer
Sirius tells Celt that Cletus will have to pay for Tyran’s death with extra duties. Celt and Piran look/feel sickened.
<div>
Start: Sirius says Cletus will be punished.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt challenges this
‘help’Conflict:
Sirius can’t/doesn’t want to answer Celt’s questionAction: Sirius avoids by getting more food
Finish: Celt comforts Piran, while soldiers gorge
food, seemingly uncaring about the murder.Open Loop:
What’s with these Romans?Mystery: Why is Sirius such an apologist for
Rome?Empathy/Distress: No Roman cares about effect on
boys of another’s death.Payoff:
Roman law established as favoring RomansIrony: Cletus’
punishment not restorative to boys.Setup: For
Pax Romana</div>
Ext. Path in woods – day Hidden Layer
Sirius teaches Celt bird names in Latin. Celt corrects Sirius about difference between ravens and crows, to Sirius’ annoyance.
<div>
Start: Sirius teaches Latin
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Sirius misidentifies
ravens and crowsConflict: Sirius resists/challenges Celt’s
correctionAction: Celt stands his ground
Finish: Sirius backs off
Open Loop: Why is Sirius teaching Latin to Celt?
Mystery: What does Sirius hope to get from teaching?
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Metaphor of Romans being crows, Celts being ravensIrony:
Celt knows more about birds than Sirius doesSetup:
Importance of feathers</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night Secret/Hidden Identity
Piran tells Celt they are a pair now, like Piran used to be with his twin. Celt dreams he’s trying to teach Latin to his sister’s mouse.
Celt is woken up by Coran’s hooting.
<div>
Start: Piran reinforces bond with Celt
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Romans have upper hand
Conflict: Celt has disturbing dream
Action: Hooting wakes him up
Finish: Celt follows hooting
Open Loop:
How will Celt and Piran’s relationship develop?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Celt and Piran’s bonding
Payoff: Explicit claiming of raven metaphor
Irony: Owl
hooting in dream becomes Coran hooting in realitySetup:
Importance of dream metaphors</div>
Ext. Forest – night Mystery
<div>
Start: Celt follows hooting
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Is it an owl-or Coran?
Conflict: Can he leave camp without Romans
waking?Action: He does, following hooting.
Finish: An acorn from Coran hits Celt on head –
Coran’s signature move.Open Loop: Why is Coran following?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Acorn on head
Irony:
Acorn echoes acorn falling on Romans earlierSetup:
Possible escape</div>
Ext. Forest – night Conspiracy
Celt learns Coran followed them and wants Celt to escape, learns village has regrets letting boys go. Celt tells Coran he can’t leave without Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt finds Coran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Coran has returned for Celt
Conflict: Coran invites Celt to escape
Action: Celt says he doesn’t want to leave Piran
Finish: They return for Piran
Open Loop:
Will Celt escape?Mystery: Why won’t Celt leave Piran?
Empathy/Distress: Far from home
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup: Tragedy of Piran
</div>
Ext. Campfire – night Wound
Piran wakes, calls for Celt, thinks Celt abandoned him. Celt runs to him.
Piran’s noise wakes Cletus who’s angry and cuts out Piran’s tongue. Celt cauterizes Piran’s tongue by heating knife using Cletus’ cloak to hold knife, burning a hole in it. The commander knocks Celt out. Piran faints.
<div>
Start:
Celt and Coran arrive.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Piran is yelling for Celt.
Conflict: Cletus is annoyed by noise.
Action: Cletus cuts out Piran’s tongue
Finish: Celt reaches Piran, tries to cauterize
it, is knocked unconscious.Open Loop:
What will happen to the boys?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Piran losing tonguePayoff:
Irony:
Piran losing tongue because he was crying for CeltSetup:
Celt’s tragedy and his attempt to cut out tongue. Incident with Cletus’ cloak.</div>
End of Act 3
Act 4
Ext. Mountain cliff – day Imminent Threat/Suspicion
Celt wakes up being carried on Cletus’ shoulder. He asks to be let down to pee, asks about Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt gets conscious
</div><div>Challenging Situation: He’s being carried by
Cletus!Conflict: He needs to pee
Action: He asks what happened to Piran
Finish: He sees Piran carried by Sirius
Open Loop: How dangerous are these Romans?
Mystery: What happened to Piran? Where’s Coran?
Empathy/Distress: Not knowing where Piran is
Payoff: Cletus makes joke about Piran being
quieter these days.Irony: The perpetrator of violence is one who now
carries Celt.Setup: More relationship with Cletus
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night Hidden Layers
Celt tries to give herb plantain to Piran but Piran rejects Celt. Sirius explains that Piran thought Celt abandoned Piran. Cletus demands recompense for damaged cloak. Sirius says he was already paid in tongue. Cletus and Sirius start to fight, which is broken up by commander.
Celt tells Sirius he’s going into woods to pee/poop.
<div>
Start: Celt offers plantain to Piran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Piran runs away
Conflict: Cletus demands recompense for ruined
cloak from SiriusAction:
Commander intervenes, sends Cletus to dig latrineFinish:
Angry Celt goes to pee in woodsOpen Loop:
How many more weird Roman rules are there?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Celt and Piran’s relationship
in tatters.Payoff:
Irony: Cletus asks for recompense!Setup:
Enmity between Sirius and Cletus.</div>
Ext. Forest – night Conspiracy
Celt meets Coran, who urges him to leave, producing Piran’s tongue.
Celt says he’ll come after everyone’s asleep so he can bring Piran. Coran questions whether that will work.
<div>
Start: Celt and Coran meet in forest
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Coran shows Piran’s tongue
Conflict: Coran wants to leave, Celt still wants
to bring PiranAction: Celt shows he’s coming around to Coran’s
point of view by volunteering that he too thinks Clu is a Roman dogFinish: Coran nods
Open Loop: How can Celt escape with Piran?
Mystery: Why does Coran keep coming back?
Empathy/Distress: Piran’s tongue
Payoff:
Irony: Piran’s tongue could motivate village
resistance?Setup: Clu established as collaborator/Roman dog –
same thing Celt will be called later</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night Hidden layers
Piran struggles against Celt. Cook wakes, asks what’s happening. Celt lies, saying it’s a nightmare.
Coran uses bird calls to get Celt to leave.
Celt abandons Piran.
<div>
Start:
Everyone’s sleeping</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wakes Piran tries to
keep him quietConflict: Piran struggles, refuses
Action: Cook wakes, asks what’s up…
Finish: Celt leaves Piran
Open Loop:
Can Celt get Piran to leave with him?Mystery:
Why is Piran so fearful about leaving?Empathy/Distress: Piran’s panic with Celt
Payoff: Celt will leave without him
Irony:
Setup: Can
Celt really leave Piran?</div>
Ext. Forest – night Hidden Layers
Celt meets Coran, but sees a warning triskele. Celt tells Coran he can’t leave Piran. Celt has vision of Coran married to Aiolfe with Emer and a baby.
Coran gives Celt a black feather.
<div>
Start: Coran isn’t surprised Piran won’t come
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt sees a warning
triskeleConflict: Celt feels he can’t leave
Action: Coran says he won’t stay
Finish:
Coran leaves, Celt returns to campOpen Loop: What hold does Piran have on Celt?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Celt gives up final chance of
escape.Payoff:
Irony: Because
Celt can’t leave Piran, Coran must leave CeltSetup: For permanent slavery
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night Hidden Layers
Celt returns, sees Clu, asks him what he should do. Clu just tells him to survive.
<div>
Start:
Celt returns, sees that Clu’s awake.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Clu explains his
motivation for helping RomeConflict: Celt wants to know what Rome will
expect him to do, and asks Clu for adviceAction:
Clu isn’t helpful, leavesFinish: Celt feels abandoned. Piran cowers under
cloak.Open Loop:
What will happen to Celt?Mystery:
Why is Clu working with Romans?Empathy/Distress: Clu can’t provide answers Celt
needs.Payoff:
Irony: A
Celtic elder can’t help a young boy.Setup:
Survival is only ambition to have.</div>
Ext. Another Roman camp – day Imminent Threat
Aggregation of other legions bringing captives, loot.
Celt girls are kept separate to service Roman soldiers.
Celt confront Sirius, who seems helpless.
<div>
Start: Celt sees more captives arriving
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt girls are taken to separate place
to sexually service soldiers
Conflict: Celt asks Sirius about it, Sirius falls
back on Roman lawAction:
Celt challenges Sirius and Rome’s ‘peace’Finish:
Celt walks away, disgusted.Open Loop:
How bad can Romans be?Mystery: Why
is army behaving like this?Empathy/Distress: Rape of women.
Payoff:
Celt accusation- is this what Rome’s peace looks like?Irony: Sirius can’t explain behavior.
Setup:
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night Hidden Layers
Celt tries to instruct smaller Celt boys in Roman ways.
Rudhek arrives, beaten up, and disses Celt.
<div>
Start:
Celt teaches boys.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Rudhek arrives
Conflict: Rudhek disses tribe for not resisting
RomansAction: Celt implies it doesn’t matter, they’re
both in same placeFinish: Rudhek tells Celt they are not the same.
Open Loop: When will Celt understand he is a
slave?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
</div>
Ext. Officers’ area – day Hidden Layer
Sirius asks Roman Commander if Celt can get wider access to other Celt boys to teach them Latin. Commander agrees, so long as Sirius gives Celt something that shows/proves what he’s doing to others.
Sirius looks at his oroboros (snake eating its own tail bracelet).
<div>
Start:
Sirius points out that Celt helps pacify his tribe
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Commander is skeptical
Conflict:
Commander says Pilus wants to meet Sirius who panicsAction: Sirius asks for Celt to have wider access
to campFinish: Commander agrees, provided Celt has some
visual symbol so others can identify him.Open Loop: What does Sirius intend for Celt?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
Uroboros will play part in Celt’s vision.</div>
End of Act 4
Act 5
Ext. Roman camp – night Wound
Celt wears oroboros and tells young boys story of Lugh and how he defeated bad gods with special sword.
Rudhek derides Celt’s efforts, calls him a collaborator and slave.
<div>
Start: Celt wears Sirius’ oroboros while he
teaches
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Boys are tired, so he
tells story insteadConflict: Rudhek interrupts, says Celt is no true
CeltAction: A boy asks if they are all slaves
Finish: Celt is troubled
Open Loop:
When will Celt accept he is a slave?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Small boy’s question?Payoff:
Irony: Whether you resist or collaborate, nothing
good about being a slave.Setup: For scene where everyone turns on Celt.
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – day Hidden Layers/Imminent Threats
More caravans of captives arrive.
Celt asks Sirius when Rome will send Roman boys as surrogates to Celtish tribes.
A small boy says another boy was beaten to death because he didn’t understand what a Roman soldier wanted.
Triskele whirs.
Rudhek id’s Celt to someone else as the boy wearing the enemy’s jewelry.
<div>
Start:
More captives arrive
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wants to know when
Rome will send Roman boys to learn from his tribe, like Celt is learning
from RomeConflict: Celt’s told another boy died because he
didn’t understand LatinAction: Celt
tells boy that’s why they need to learn fastFinish: Rudhek id’s Celt to Rudhek supporters by
the uroboros.Open Loop: Is working with Rome worth it?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Does understanding the language
protect anyone?Payoff:
Irony:
Boys die even when they know LatinSetup:
Uroboros coming back to bite.</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night Strange behavior
Celt prays to goddess Anu, but Taranis appears. Taranis offers to help Celt, but Celt refuses.
<div>
Start:
Celt prays to Anu
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Taranis interrupts
Conflict: Taranis offers help
Action: Celt refuses
Finish: Taranis disappears
Open Loop: What aid will Celt receive from gods?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Celt is offered help, doesn’t take it.Setup: Someday he’ll need and accept help from
Taranis?</div>
Ext. Roman camp – day Imminent Threat
More caravans. Celtic parents and children are separated, beaten.
Celt tries to help, is rebuffed.
Rudhek and soldiers treat Celt like dog, throw dirt at him.
Celt sees triskele become snakes who taunt him.
Celt runs away.
Sirius and Pilus arrive, knock sense into Celt’s tormentors.
<div>
Start: More captives arrive.</div><div>Challenging Situation: Parents and kids are
separated, Celt helpsConflict: Rudhek and Romans pick on Celt calling
him a Roman dogAction:
Celt sees triskele snakes come alive and agreeFinish: Celt runs away, everyone fights.
Open Loop: How will Celt survive?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Celt abused by everyone. His best intentions misunderstood, derided.Payoff: Rudhek finally acts
Irony: Both Celts and Romans spurn Celt
Setup:
More triskele snake visions to come</div>
Ext. Another part of camp – night Imminent Threat/Hidden Agenda
Celt runs by Roman soldiers practice fighting against gourds painted blue like Celtish war paint.
Celt runs by soldiers beating boys.
<div>
Start: Celt runs.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celts sees soldiers practicing killing
Conflict: The gourds are painted to look like his
peopleAction: A boy he taught is beaten by a soldier
Finish: Celt keeps running
Open Loop: What is Rome’s intention for
Britannicus?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress: Boy getting beaten
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:
Blue woad Celt will use later.</div>
Ext. Place where Celt girls are kept – day Conspiracy/Hidden Layer
Soldiers drug girls, including one who looks like Aiolfe.
<div>
Start: Celt runs into camp brothel
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Girls are being drugged
Conflict: Soldiers compare drugs to Sirius’
claptrap that ‘drugs’ CeltAction: Soldiers make a move on girls
Finish: Celt runs away
Open Loop: How low will Romans go?
Mystery: What are they doing with girls?
Empathy/Distress:
Girls drugged, raped.Payoff:
Irony: Drugs used on girls compared to Sirius’
influence on CeltSetup:
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night Hidden Layer
Celt has vision of triskele snakes and oroboros snake coming alive taunting him to cut out his own tongue to stop collaborating and betraying his tribe.
Celt is stopped from doing this by Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt arrives at a campfire
</div><div>Challenging Situation: The snakes are talking to
him!Conflict: They entice him to cut out his own
tongueAction: He tries to do this
Finish: He is prevented from doing so by Piran
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Celt’s torment from triskele/snakesPayoff:
Irony:
Triskele (Celtic symbol) uniting with Roman symbol (snakes) to
torment Celt. Irony that Celt tries to cut out tongue but prevented by
tongue-less Piran.Setup:
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – day Hidden Agenda
Piran tends Celt with plantain.
Sirius arrives, wants to bring Celt to meet the Primus Pilus so Celt can be promoted.
Celt opens mouth, lets Sirius believe he’s cut out his tongue.
Sirius thinks Piran has done it, but Celt points to himself.
Sirius is appalled, abandons Celt.
Unseen, goddess Brigit confronts Taranis about Celt’s mistreatment, threatens Taranis with a hearing before the other gods.
<div>
Start: Piran tends Celt with plantain.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Did Celt sever his tongue?
Conflict: Sirius thinks he has and that his plan
to make Celt a translator has been ruined.
Action: Celt throws away the oroboros, symbol of
Celt’s servitudeFinish:
Sirius rejects Celt, goddess Brigit castigates/threatens Taranis. (maybe the latter is another separate
scene)Open Loop: How will Celt survive?
Mystery: Why does Celt let Sirius think his
tongue is gone?Empathy/Distress: Results of Celt’s attempt to
cut out tonguePayoff: Uroboros abandoned.
Irony:
Setup: Celt no longer to be translator
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night Wound
Celt and Piran sleep in cage.
Celt dreams of home.
Cletus wakes them up, taunts them.
<div>
Start: Celt
and Piran sleep, Celt has a nice home dream
</div><div>Challenging Situation: They wake in a cage!
Conflict: The dream turns into a nightmare when
Cletus arrives.Action: Cletus throws in bread, insults them
Finish: Cletus spits, leaves.
Open Loop:
What will happen to boys now?Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Treatment as demoted slavePayoff:
Irony:
Dream of father at forge becomes noise of Cletus banging on cageSetup:
</div>
Ext. Beach – Day Intriguing World
Small boats take Celt, Piran, other captives to ship. Piran vomits on Cletus.
Celt sees animals in cages loaded, learns they’re for Roman circus.
Soldiers can’t fit a bear cub, leave it in cage to drown in incoming tide.
Celt prays to Artios, bear goddess for help.
Clu frees the cub.
Celt watches the shore disappear as fog covers him
<div>
Start:
Small boats ferry captives, loot to ships.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Native animals also loaded.
Conflict: Bear cub abandoned in cage, tide coming
inAction: Celt prays for help.
Finish: Clu arrives undoes cage, Celt sails into
unknown future.Open Loop: What will happen to boys?
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Treatment of animals.Payoff:
Irony: Clu
freeing bear cubSetup:
Rome’s treatment of animals, which will be turning point for Celt
later.</div>
End of Act 5
-
3. Answer the question, “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
My novel did have lots of intrigue already built in. There are a few nuances that can be improved, but it’s in good shape from the start, despite costing me four years of crafting.
TEASER
INT. UNDERGROUND ICE CAVERN – DAY: MYSTERY
In a misty cavern, the mist forms letters “begin quarantine simulation.” The letters dissipate and the mist reform into holograms.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: What does it say quarantine simulation?
M: Why is there a quarantine? Quarantine against what? By who?
M: Where is the ice cavern located?
M: Who is running the simulation? What is its purpose?
M: How does the mist create holograms?
OL: Will the simulation actually come true?
S: setup for season 2.0 Explanation of quarantine.
INT. WHITE HOUSE SITUATION ROOM – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT
All face point towards a Hispanic woman, the PRESIDENT. Nukes launch in fourteen hours. Nothing can be done.
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: Why are America’s nukes launching?
M: If the president isn’t in control of the nukes, who is?
M: Why can’t the nukes be stopped from launching?
OL: Can the nukes be stopped?
S: We expect nukes to launch.
S: Setup for season 1.5 Finale sequence.
E/D: The world is in danger.
EXT. PLANE WRECKAGE – DAY
Plane wreckage surrounds a burning piece of mangled metal with the American presidential seal on it. Air Force One is down!
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: Who shot down Air Force One?
M: The President continues to talk after Air Force One was shot down. Who was on Air Force One when it was shot down?
E/D: Who was killed when the plane was destroyed?
S: Setup for season 1.5 Finale sequence.
EXT. LOW EARTH ORBIT – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT
Missiles launch across America. Nukes stream high into the atmosphere. To prepare for retaliatory strike, satellites swivel into new positions.
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: How will satellites help to prepare for a retaliatory strike?
M: Who is launching a retaliatory strike?
P: American nukes launch as predicted.
E/D: The world is in danger.
S: Enemies could launch a retaliatory strike.
S: Setup for season 1.5 Finale sequence.
EXT. WHITE HOUSE BUNKER – DAY: IMMINENT THREAT
On a satellite feed, two blinding lights detonate over a city. Mushroom clouds rise as the city below is obliterated into ash.
A centipede-like body with thousands of tentacles rises like a skyscraper. It sucks the debris cloud into its body. The ground liquefies and absorbs into the growing monstrosity.
Start: A city exists.
Challenging Situation: Not only is there a nuclear war, but a giant monster too.
Conflict: Nuclear war with some unknown enemy.
Action: destruction of a city
Finish: A giant monster emerges from the radioactive debris.
M: What city was destroy by nukes?
M: What is the gigantic monster?
M: Where did the monster come from?
M: How was the monster able to survive a nuclear blast?
M: How is the monster able to absorb the nuclear debris and ground?
OL: Can the monster be stopped?
E/D: The world is in danger.
S: Setup for season 1.5 Finale sequence.
S: Reveal that a main character becomes president right before their intro.
INT. UNDERGROUND ICE CAVERN – DAY: MYSTERY
The mist swirls into red flashing letters in midair: “Ascension event timeline detected.”
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: What is an ascension event?
M: How can the simulation predict timelines?
S: Setup for season 2.0 explanation of ascension events.
END TEASER
ACT ONE
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY : HIDDEN AGENDA
Renquist gropes Maria, suggests a makeover for her, and offers to make her interim CEO. She leaves to get James.
Start: The president from the simulation is a beautiful girl who dresses down to avoid her beauty, an executive at a software company.
Challenging Situation: Renquist’s money hasn’t arrived for purchase of the company.
Conflict: Renquist wants Maria to betray James and run the company.
Action: Renquist gropes Maria. She takes a fighting stance.
Finish: Maria leaves to get James.
OL: Will Maria become president?
OL: Will Maria become CEO?
OL: Will Renquist force her to sleep with him for the position?
OL: Is Maria OK with betraying James?
P: Maria was president in the simulation.
E/D: Renquist groped Maria and criticized her look.
S: Setup Maria replacing James as CEO.
S: Renquist wants to give Maria a makeover.
I: She’s actively trying to avoid sexual attention with her outfit and gets touched anyway.
I: It’s an elegant executive suite decorated like a teenager’s bedroom.
M: Why is the company worth so much money?
M: What is Renquist’s plan for the company?
INT. TECH CUBICLES – DAY: INTRIGUING WORLD
James playful and happy about selling company. Returns to office with Maria.
Start: James is playful and happy.
Challenging Situation: James can’t cheer Maria up for more than a moment.
Conflict: James is happy, but Maria is worried.
Action: Nerf gun battle
Finish: They return to James’ office
I: Maria tells James to be careful who to trust, but appears to betray him in the next scene.
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY : IMMINENT THREAT
Renquist announces he’s stolen control of the company with a shady contract and replacing James with Maria. Maria leaves to her office.
Start: James is happy to sell his company for $1.2 billion.
Challenging Situation: Renquist is betraying James and using Maria to do it.
Conflict: It looks like Maria will betray James and run the company under Renquist.
Action: James confronts Maria about betraying him. Renquist rips movie posters off the wall and rips them up.
Finish: Maria leaves the office.
I: good news, you’re fired.
E/D: James fired from his own company
P: Maria replaces James as CEO.
OL: Will James get back control of his company?
INT. MARIA’S OFFICE – DAY : MYSTERY
Maria watches executive suite on security cameras while she does a make over. She puts hard drives in mail envelopes. Renquist’s bodyguards hold None down as Renquist kill James’ pet ants and remove him from the building.
Start: Maria is wearing frumpy clothes.
Challenging Situation: Renquist steals control of the company from James and Maria via a shady contract.
Conflict: Rage is building in Maria as she watches Renquist hurt James on the security cameras.
Action: Renquist kills James’ pet ants and has security guards knock him to the ground to watch. Guards forcibly remove James from the building to humiliate him further.
Finish: Maria leaves her office in a sexy outfit with packages.
P: Maria gives herself a makeover.
S: Maria will use her makeover against Renquist.
M: What is on the three hard drives?
OL: What will Maria do with the hard drives?
E/D: Renquist kills James’ pet ants and has security guards knock him to the ground to watch.
E/D: Guards forcibly remove James from the building to humiliate him further.
INT. TECH CUBICLES – DAY : CONSPIRACY
Maria drops the package off with Thelma and goes into executive suite to see Renquist in sexy outfit.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
M: Who did Maria mail the packages of the surveillance tapes to?
M: Maria winked to Thelma. What does Thelma know about the tapes?
OL: How will Thelma help Maria?
S: Setup for Thelma being a dead man’s switch.
S: Setup for how Thelma knew who the other dead man’s switch was.
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY : HIDDEN AGENDA
Maria pretends to come on to Renquist, then kicks his ass. She tells Renquist about the surveillance tapes and he threatens to kill her.
Start: Maria seems to entice Renquist
Challenging Situation: Instead of offering favors, Renquist threatens to kill her when she tells him about the surveillance tapes.
Conflict: Maria gets her revenge for Renquist’s unwanted advances.
Action: Maria kicks Renquist’s ass.
Finish: Maria leaves Renquist in his office cowering.
M: What is on the surveillance tapes that’s worth killing for?
OL: Will Renquist make good on his threats to kill Maria over the surveillance tapes?
E/D: Maria is now in danger once Renquist finds the other copies.
P: Maria uses her make over to lull Renquist into false security and then kick his ass.
S: Kicking Renquist’s ass makes Maria feel powerful in the sexy outfit.
EXT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY : HIDDEN AGENDA
Maria tells James she didn’t betray him. Lawyers aren’t returning his calls. James may have to resort to his brother, but they’re on bad terms because James blames him for the stolen company. James’ car gets repossessed.
Start: Maria and James are distant.
Challenging Situation: Maria makes an uncomfortable apology.
Conflict: James makes her almost beg to be friends again.
Action: James’ car gets repossessed.
Finish: James and Maria are friends again.
S: She apologizes for appearing to betray him, which he later teases her about.
S: The car being repossessed is part of a later clue.
E/D: James’ car is repossessed.
E/D: Lawyers won’t take the case on contingency, afraid of Renquist’s lawyers.
S: James only option for lawyer may be his brother.
INT. BEER BEAKERS – NIGHT : INTRIGUING WORLD
All his money is tied up in the company and his girlfriend left him. James decides to run for president with Maria as VP.
Start: Getting the company back seems hopeless.
Challenging Situation: All his money tied up in company. Girlfriend left him.
Conflict: Subtext implies Maria warned girlfriend about losing company.
Action: Maria gets on the bar to change channel from depressing news on TV.
Finish: As president, James sees a path to fight Renquist.
M: Why is Maria so jealous when she has no interest in being physical with James?
OL: Maria was the president in the simulation, but she’s running for VP. Will something happen to James?
OL: Will James win as president? Will Maria win as VP?
E/D: All his money is tied up in the company and his girlfriend left him.
I: He’s a billionaire without any money.
S: Setup the chemical burn station for after Maria gets hurt fighting the gunman.
S: Setup the bar which transforms like a character through the series.
S: setup the company card not being cancelled despite his car being repossessed, is a later clue.
P: He teases Maria about her apology after he reveals he figured out she didn’t betray him after putting lipstick.
S: People get hurt when Maria puts on lipstick.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
INT. BEER BEAKERS – NIGHT : IMMINENT THREAT
James bluffs some punks with steam in a steampunk bar to impress Maria.
Start: Maria is skeptical he can bluff, much less win as president.
Challenging Situation: Marie is his best friend, but doesn’t believe in him.
Conflict: James faces off against the gangbangers, using steam as a bluff in steampunk bar.
Action: James leads a conga line. Maria hurts a gangbanger that touched her.
Finish: Maria is impressed.
OL: Can an honest non-politician survive in the cutthroat dishonest world of politicians and lawyers?
OL: Can James prove himself to Maria?
OL: Is Maria fully committed to James’ campaign?
E/D: The gangbangers could hurt James.
I: James bluffs punks with steam in a steampunk bar.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT : INTRIGUING WORLD
Maria uproots campaign signs from her lawn and goes inside.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT : INTRIGUING WORLD
James and Maria make a practice video. James gets drunk, smashes her table and passes out. She uploads the video unedited out of anger. She lets James sleep it off in her bed.
Start: Maria is open to helping James’ campaign
Challenging Situation: Maria doesn’t feel listened to. James feels unsupported.
Conflict: James and Maria compete in the video.
Action: James gets drunk, smashes her table and passes out.
Finish: Maria hates his campaign, but tucks him into bed so she can make sure he’s all right.
S: James broke the table drunk, but doesn’t remember doing it.
S: James has bruises from the table that make cops think Maria hurt him in domestic violence.
P: Maria wears the sexy outfit for the video because she feels powerful in her “power suit.”
S: The power suit is one component of the success in their viral video.
S: “None of the above” and “more jobs” are important parts of he video.
E/D: Maria not feeling heard.
S: Maria uploads the video in anger.
END ACT TWO
ACT THREE
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY : WOUND
James thinks they had drunk sex, only to be embarrassed when pointed out he’s still fully clothed. James assumes Maria broke the table. James’ friends are avoiding him because Renquist is on the warpath. Maria will take James home.
Start: James is so happy that he had drunk sex with Maria.
Challenging Situation: James bared his feelings for Maria and she’s not interested.
Conflict: James’ friends are avoiding him because Renquist is on the warpath.
Action: Maria rolls out of bed into an attack stance when James goes for a kiss.
Finish: James is so embarrassed that nothing actually happened with Maria.
I: James broke the table drunk, but thinks Maria did it because of her anger issues.
E/D: James’ friends are avoiding him because Renquist is on the warpath.
OL: Will James and Maria ever date?
M: Maria kicked Renquist’s ass. Why is he coming after James instead of Maria?
S: James having slept over helps make it look to the cops like Maria and James are dating, when they suspect domestic violence.
EXT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY : HIDDEN AGENDA
James opens mail. His unemployment was blocked. He’ll sell his furniture to make rent. Behind him, Maria opens the door to a ransacked apartment with destroyed furniture.
Start: Between unemployment and selling furniture, James can make rent.
Challenging Situation: Unemployment was his only money coming in and it was blocked.
Conflict: Renquist continues to close off every avenue of progress, even petty stuff.
Action: Maria opens the door to a ransacked apartment.
Finish: James can’t pay rent with no unemployment and destroyed furniture.
I: James will have to pay his rent by selling his furniture, but his furniture is already destroyed.
E/D: Renquist blocked his unemployment.
E/D: His apartment is ransacked and his possessions destroyed.
S: setup to everything being searched, forcing Maria to reveal why.
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY : HIDDEN AGENDA
James’ belongings are destroyed without obvious reason. Maria confesses about the surveillance tapes. James realizes the car was repossessed so they could search it. James and Maria leave for Maria’s apartment.
Start: James’ belongings are destroyed without obvious reason.
Challenging Situation: Maria confesses about the surveillance tapes. James realizes the car was repossessed so they could search it.
Conflict: James is not happy that she recorded him in his office too.
Action: Maria tries to comfort James with an uncomfortable hug.
Finish: James suspects Maria’s home will be the next target, so James and Maria rush out the door.
P: Maria reveals why James’ apartment was searched.
P: Renquist went after the car first before the company card so he could search it.
E/D: Renquist will stop at nothing to find the surveillance tapes. There is a growing danger.
S: Maria’s apartment could be next.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY : IMMINENT THREAT
Maria’s door is ajar. She rushes in. James calls the police.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
P. Maria’s apartment was broken into.
S: Police called, will arrive shortly.
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY : IMMINENT THREAT
Two intruders search her things. Maria grabs her katana from her bedroom and chases them. Intruders flee into the bathroom. Maria stabs one as they escape.
Start: Intruders are in Maria’s house
Challenging Situation: Maria’s house is being tossed as they look for surveillance tapes.
Conflict: Intruders will fight the intruders to protect her home.
Action: Maria chases the intruders and stabs one.
Finish: Maria leaves the house to find the intruders.
M: Who are the intruders?
M: Did Renquist send the intruders?
S: Setup reveal that Zelda, who murders her way into James’ love life, was one of the intruders.
S: Setup Zelda’s personal grudge against Maria over her partners death.
S: Setup Zelda as a double agent once she knows how her partner really died in season 1.5 Episode 1.
OL: Will the intruders come back?
E/D: Intruders are going through Maria’s stuff, violating her.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY : IMMINENT THREAT
Maria runs across her balcony and crosses her neighbors yard with bloody katana in hand. Cops take Maria to jail.
Start: Maria exists her home with a bloody katana.
Challenging Situation: Police see her as a threat and stop her from chasing the intruders.
Conflict: The police won’t help Maria find the intruders and tell her to get on the ground.
Action: Maria runs across her porch and pole vaults into the neighbor’s yard.
Finish: Cops take Maria to jail.
M: What happened to the intruder that Maria stabbed?
M: Where is Maria’s missing katana that she stabbed an intruder with?
S: setup the katana as something only Renquist’s people have.
P: Police arrive, but instead of helping, they take Maria to jail.
I: Police were supposed to help, but instead take Maria to jail.
OL: Will Maria get her katana back?
END ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY : CONSPIRACY
Police question James. They imply domestic violence. James denies it, but when he lifts his shirt, he’s badly bruised. The cops leave. Renquist’s henchman comes in and threatens him if he doesn’t turn against Maria. When he gets let out, he finds out the campaign video went viral and the bruises are from smashing the table.
Start: police question James about domestic violence.
Challenging Situation: Cops thing Maria hurt James in domestic violence. He doesn’t remember the night before and has bruises he can’t explain. He has to trust Maria wouldn’t hurt him.
Conflict: Renquist’s henchman comes in and threatens him if he doesn’t turn against Maria.
Action: Police interrogate James and Renquist’s henchman threatens him.
Finish: James finds out his campaign test video went viral.
M: How did Renquist get enough access to a police station for his henchman to interrogate James?
M: Which cops at the police station were on Renquist’s payroll?
P: Cops think domestic violence based on misleading clues.
P: Maria’s unedited video went viral on accident.
S: This henchman is later revealed to actually be a major villains himself.
S: James remembers Trench Coat Man later when he receives more threats. “It’s you, from the police station.” Which in turn sets up the actual reveal of his true identity.
OL: Will a viral video be enough to launch their campaign?
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY : WOUND
Maria looks through her stolen movie collection. James tries to figure out why their video went viral, but no one is talking about him. James tells Maria about the threats. She is really onboard with the president idea.
Everyone is talking about “none of he above” and “more jobs,” the things they said in the video. Everyone is calling themselves “none of the above.” Take Back America endorse “none of the above” and “more jobs.” James knows what to do.
Start: James went viral, but no one discusses him. James’ is confused.
Challenging Situation: Maria feels violated by the intruders. James feels ignored by not going viral right.
Conflict: Maria is with James on the same page about the campaign to fight Renquist.
Action: Maria going through her collection, while James plays detective.
Finish: James’ knows how to take back their message.
P: “None of the above” and “more jobs” from their video become more important than they are.
E/D: Maria’s collection is not hers anymore. They’ve stolen her memories.
M: Did they keep James and Maria at the police station longer so the intruders could finish their search?
S: Setup the name change.
INT. MARIA’S CAR – DAY : INTRIGUING WORLD
Maria brings James to the courthouse. He’s decided to change his name to None of the Above. The surprise is that she’s going to change her name to More Jobs.
Start: James decides to change his name to None of the Above.
Challenging Situation: Maria has to change her name to More Jobs.
Conflict: Maria doesn’t want to change her name.
Action: Maria tries to get James.
Finish: James flees the car before Maria gets him.
OL: Will the name changes go through?
OL: Will Maria give into James?
OL: How will people react to James Wong and Maria Cortez changing their names to None of the Above and More Jobs?
P: decide to do name change.
S: The name change decision setups the success of their campaign.
S: Maria is not happy about her name change and tries to grab James.
I: Maria thinks his name change is the surprise, but it’s actually her name change.
END ACT FOUR
ACT FIVE
EXT. COURTHOUSE PARKING LOT – DAY : INTRIGUING WORLD
Maria chases James around the car. He points out that their names have to match the Take Back America Movement’s endorsement if they want to take back their message.
Start: Maria is mad at James for suggesting she change her name.
Challenging Situation: Maria doesn’t want to be forced to change her name.
Conflict: James and Maria don’t agree on her name change.
Action: Maria chases James around the car.
Finish: James’ arguments make Maria pause to think.
P: Maria can’t grab James, but is able to chase him.
E/D: James is pressuring Maria to change her name.
S: Maria is thinking about changing her name.
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY : INTRIGUING WORLD
The judge lets James change his name and use the millions of views instead of the newspaper. James is now None of the Above (None). Maria can change her name to More Jobs, but needs millions of views, or else she’ll have to use the newspaper and wait. Maria does the required video.
Start: They’ve decided to change names, but it’s not automatic.
Challenging Situation: Maria can change her name to More Jobs, but needs millions of views, or else she’ll have to use the newspaper and wait.
Conflict: James and Maria must get their name changes approved.
Action: James and Maria have to argue in front of a judge.
Finish: James is now None of the Above(None) and Maria does a video to earn her name change.
I: Maria changed her name for a man, but didn’t get a ring out of it (since it wasn’t a marriage).
P: Maria does try to change her name.
OL: Will Maria’s video earn enough views for her name change to go through?
E/D: Maria has to sacrifice her name for the campaign.
M: Maria filed the name change, but is she really committed to it?
INT. OFFICES OF SHEN WONG – DAY : INTRIGUING WORLD
None and Maria go to the offices of Shen Wong so that James can apologize to his brother. None still blames Shen for losing the company. Shen goes over the escape clauses from the contract they could use, but all of them are out of reach. He agrees to be their campaign manager. Maria’s name change to More Jobs comes through. They will head out on national road trip to get on the ballot before Take Back America knows they’re a real campaign.
Start: James has to apologize to his brother to get his legal advice.
Challenging Situation: James blames Shen for losing his company.
Conflict: James gives Shen an insulting apology. James only comes to Shen when he needs something.
Action: Maria barges into Shen’s office, despite an assistant that tries to stop her.
Finish: Shen gets ready to leave on a road trip with None of the Above and More Jobs.
OL: Will any of the contract escape clauses be useful?
OL: How will they be able to run a campaign with just three people?
OL: Will Shen get back his sports car?
M: Why is Shen’s wife acting like the boss of the company?
P: James had to make piece with his brother for legal representation.
S: James still blames Shen, but is trying to forgive him.
S: They will go on a road trip to get on the ballot.
E/D: Shen has to endure many insults from James.
E/D: Shen’s wife pushes him around and requires him to work on the road trip.
E/D: Shen’s wife takes his car to show her dominance, which Shen covers up as him negotiating for the minivan.
E/D: Shen’s assistant is eavesdropping, so his humiliation over the car is known to James and Maria.
I: Even though it was humiliating and not by choice, getting the minivan was perfect for the road trip.
END ACT FIVE
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