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Day 13 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
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11 Replies
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Protagonist: Father John Ambrose (60)
Ambrose is the priest dying of stage four renal cancer, bent on seeking absolution from the Indigenous girl (Jody Youngblood) he wronged when he was a Teacher at St. Anne’s Residential school in Northern Ontario.
He carries a terrible secret, that he witnessed the headmaster of the school kill students after he had sexually assaulted them and disposed of their bodies in an old storm cellar in a new wing of the building. He took photographs and hid them in a hole on the school property. That man has since become a Cardinal in the Canadian Catholic Church.
Part of Ambrose’s long silence is because of his upbringing. His father was brutal and beat him often. He lived on the street and was arrested five times before finding the church. It was a difficult transition from street tough to priest and he was no poster child for the Priesthood. His sense of humor is irreverent and sarcastic. He often speaks before he thinks then wishes he could take back his words.
The only person he ever formed a relationship with is Bishop Robert DeGaul whom he has known for 55 years. He might have left the church for Jody Youngblood. He truly loved her, but circumstances were taken out of his hands and he believed she died. In truth he is a difficult man to love because he doesn’t love or believe in himself. He believes the cancer is God punishing him.
We could get into Jungian and Freudian beliefs of how abused children believe they are unworthy of love. How they truly believe they have done something wrong etc. They are hard to get close to, either emotionally or physically. We see that with Ambrose: his distance around people. His inability to trust. But really, that sort of deeper esoteric thing is for the actor to mesh with their understanding of the character and decide what works for themself. And if I was directing this movie, I would be choosing this role very carefully, banking on someone with enough experience to do this.
When a person knows they are dying, they need to get their ‘house’ in order. Ambrose is centered in making his last push of energy mean something. Righting a great wrong and making sure the headmaster does not go unpunished. Although he is a man of deep personal faith and belief in God’s promises, he also has to live up to his responsibilities as a priest. So if it’s the last thing he does, he will make things right for those children.
And in doing that, he’s representing all of us who yearn to right grave injustices.
Traits:
Irreverent
Sarcastic
Humble
Dogged
Distant
(Ambrose has just tried to apologize to Jody and she wants nothing to do with him. He is devastated)
EXT. THE CREEK BANK -DAY
Ambrose stares morosely at the water trying to break through thin ice. Twigs snap and crack as Chief Oliver makes his way through the trees toward him.
AMBROSE
We’re all like that:
(gestures to the ice)
So brittle. Too scared to let people see what’s going on underneath.
Old line: People are like that. Covering things up.
CHIEF OLIVER
Jody’s always been a loner. Gotten worse since her husband died.
AMBROSE
The school scarred some of us as well. If you didn’t follow…I was barely more than a boy myself.
CHIEF OLIVER
But you walked away and abandoned those kids who needed you.
Ambrose’s head snaps around to look at Oliver in shock.
AMBROSE
Old line:No, they re-assigned me.
I would have turned into one of them.
CHIEF OLIVER
Would you? Sometimes I want to teach Joe a lesson when he does dumb shit. Does that make me a monster? The truth is, any other teacher, Jody would be dead now, wouldn’t she?
Ambrose can’t say anything to that. He just nods.
CHIEF OLIVER
You might even have saved her life locking her up like that.
AMBROSE
I wouldn’t let Williams do to her what he did to her sister. I loved her.
CHIEF OLIVER
You gotta understand: Jody doesn’t have to forgive you and you have to live with that. Can you?
AMBROSE
I don’t have much choice.
CHIEF OLIVER
You know what the problem is? You walk around as if you’re entitled to everything on earth, even our forgiveness. We know we carry an obligation for the things we’ve been given. It’s our responsibility to care for the land, the people, the air, the water. That’s the difference. You Priests should be on the same walk, but you aren’t, and that’s why things have gone wrong for you.
AMBROSE
You’re speaking to the wrong man.
CHIEF OLIVER
That’s another one who won’t listen. He’s not happy with what you’re trying to do.
AMBROSE
Believe me, we would have left him behind if we could. He’s like the snake in the garden of Eden.
CHIEF OLIVER
My son’s got his faults, but he’s a good judge of character. I just wish he hadn’t pulled a knife to get his point across.
AMBROSE
Joe’s a good kid.
CHIEF OLIVER
Ya he is. He likes you. Come back before he gets worried.
AMBROSE
I’m not exactly dressed for the weather.
The two of them weave their way between the trees toward the cabin.
CHIEF OLIVER
You missed the best part. After you sweat we run into the creek to cool down.
AMBROSE
But there’s ice on the water.
CHIEF OLIVER
Yup. We cool down real fast. It’s fun. Really. You wanna go in?
Ambrose draws the blanket up to his chin.
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More great dialogue and philosophy delivered in a mostly conversational way. I wonder if Oliver is too articulate and Western for an Indian. Isn’t there a large age disparity between Ambrose and Jody (story does work better with her female) for a love interest? Already a priest vs young student?
Your psychological/social awareness provides another focus for the profiles. The back story for Ambrose and Jody works well.
How about this for subtext? Keep original.
No, they re-assigned me.
(pause)
I’m lying.
I would have turned into one of them.
I would certainly see this movie.
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Susan loves separating character dialogue!
What I learned doing this assignment is, wow, did this process crack open my character’s heart and soul! Not only did it greatly improve the dialogue, but I actually merged into my character for a while!
Character Profile
John
Role in the story: Kari’s husband
Core Character Traits (no more than five)
– entitled
– arrogant
– selfish
– abusive
– controlling
Character Subtext Logline: He sees himself as a victim of these traits that he believes exists in everyone else, but not in him
OPTIONAL:
Flaw: He thinks control will bring him happiness
Want/Need: others catering to him to prove their love for him
Mission/Agenda: having people’s respect (respect in his mind means that he is always right, and any disagreement means disrespecting him)
World View: His needs are more important than anyone else’s
BEFORE: Oh no. Are you okay? That crazy dog should be neutered.
AFTER: Your dog is a menace! Go neuter that thing.
BEFORE: (points to a picture on the wall.) Can we get one of those fancy poodle cuts?
AFTER: (points to a picture of a fancy poodle cut on the wall.) Make her look like that one.
BEFORE: Grandma! How many times do I have to tell you to lock the front door? It’s dangerous!
AFTER: Either lock the door at night or get chopped up by axe murderers. Your choice.
BEFORE: Just back me up. You haven’t seen her in a while. She’s gotten worse. And she listens to you more than to me. You know I’ll be able to keep a better eye on her in the retirement home.
AFTER: Just back me up. You aren’t around enough to notice. I’m telling you, she’s worse. And you, Little Miss Favorite, have more sway over her than I do. Besides, once she’s in the Blue Hair Hilton, I can watch over her better.
BEFORE: Don’t think I’m done with you yet. I don’t give up that easily. I’m going to win you back. Just wait.
AFTER: Oh, I’m not done with you yet. You’ll be mine. Just wait.
BEFORE: While you were out there forgetting all about me—
AFTER: While you were out there making the rounds—
BEFORE: Why didn’t you answer?
AFTER: What are you, deaf?
BEFORE: I don’t want a flea infestation in my house.
AFTER: Get those nasty flea-infested mongrels out of my house!
BEFORE: Well, maybe if you treated me as well as you treated them…. But I don’t think we have the money to keep them. I mean, you’re the one who said we’re broke, so….
AFTER: Try being as nice to me as you are to them…. Too bad there’s no money to keep them. You’re the one always crying about how broke we are.
BEFORE: I don’t know why it’s your business.
AFTER: None of your damn business.
BEFORE: I don’t know how I’m supposed to talk to you when you’re in this state.
AFTER: I give up. It’s impossible to talk to you when you’re like this.
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#13. Karen Crider loves separating character dialogue
What I learned: Doing this assignment is like taking an eye test. The optometrist inserts one lens, and monotones the same dry question over and over again: Is the first one better? Or this one? And I strain to see the difference, noting the edges for fuzziness, for clarity, for depth–the way the image bounces off the lens. And I ask, may I see the first image again? And he wearily clicks the first lens back, sighing over dealing with someone who’s an artist. Someone who searches for the details. For clarity, imagery, and depth. And he slouches, as if his feet hurt and I’m his first patient of the day, and he’s already weary, (with miles to go before he sleeps.—Robert Frost).
Character profile for Percy the Dragon.
Logline:
A magical dragon, with kleptomaniac tendencies, stashes his booty with his friend, getting him jailed; forcing them to go on the lam to his murdered, father’s planet, where he be becomes king.
Concept:
A magical dragon without a kingdom, and a foster kid without a real home, become family; proving sometimes, that water is thicker than blood.
For the Love of Percy
A buddy screenplay.
Character profile:
Percy the Dragon: One of the screenplay’s protags; the other is his buddy, Dusty.
Character Traits: Impulsive, undercover, invisible; evasive, secretive
Character subtext: A long-nosed, yellow-fanged, fire breathing, thieving, Robin Hood type, dragon.
Flaw: Inability to comprehend the laws of man.
Need: To belong/ be believable, which stems from trying to fit in a human world.
Want: To protect/save his friend Dusty– his only friend in any world.
Character Arc: Percy arcs from an infant dragon, deserted on earth, to king of the Planet Freome with Dusty as his right-hand man.
Fear: Fear of losing his only friend and never finding out who he is.
Agenda: Escape Earth. Find a good- looking female, (one with swagger,) and include Dusty as family. Secret: He loves Princess Zenith, from Planet Freome, not knowing she is his sister. What he doesn’t want to admit to himself: He may never be able to fill his agenda and may end up a dragon in a human world. Trait for improving script<s>: </s><s>Crafty. One given to deceptive plotting instead of clueless plotting</s>. I changed this to perceptive.<s></s>
Traits: Impulsive, <s>crafty</s>, secretive, evasive, perceptive
The dragon picks Dusty up by his britches and swishes him about. Dusty lunges a blow, boxing the air; right, then left, screaming.
PERCY #1. Oh! for Pete’s sake. You’re nothing but a headache. You haven’t changed one bit.
PERCY #2.
Dialogue # 1. PERCY <s>You remember your father’s amulet? </s>’Member me? Your pet dragon, Percy?
Dialogue #2. PERCY (impulsive, perceptive, secretive) ‘Member me? Your pet dragon, Percy?
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In the dim light, Percy’s eyes glimmer. A huge tear detours down his snout and splats the floor.
Percy cocks his head, till his eyeball almost touches Dusty’s.
An amulet flies with the dragon’s every movement. Dusty stares at it.
PERCY You remember your father’s amulet? Hello, Anyone home?
<s>#1. Percy heaves a heavy sigh. He lowers his neck and an amulet slips into Dusty’s hand</s>.
#2. Percy heaves a heavy sigh; an amulet slips from Percy’s neck and into Dusty’s hand. Dusty turns white.
Percy rises. Dusty scrambles back from Percy.
PERCY (secretive, undercover,) Aren’t you going to ask why I’m here? Why I’ve come?
DUSTY Okay, why?
#1. PERCY <s>I’m here, cause I know your wife has died. I know you’re sad. I am too. And I’m lonely–tired of no one believing in m</s>.
#2, PERCY ( perceptive, undercover, )
You’re alone. You’re sad and lonely. And you’re tired of no one believing in you, especially, your children.
DUSTY Where have you been? How do you know about my wife?
Dialogue #1. PERCY <s>I’m usually around when I’m not spending time in space. I’ve met a princess who’s the love of my life, but her father, the king, hates me. It’s hot outside, mind if I come in?</s> <s> </s>
DUSTY –undercover/ secretive invisible I’m around, you’re just not aware of it…
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INT. DUSTY’S CABIN – DAY
Dusty paces, muttering. Percy’s nowhere in sight. He takes Eve’s urn off the shelf. Percy’s voice startles him. Dusty almost drops it.
#1. PERCY <s>You look hungry. Let me go get some mood food. Something greasy with lots of salt.</s>
#2. PERCY (Impulsive, perceptive) No energy again today? You need some mood food— something greasy with lots of salt!
DUSTY (blows his nose) Just because I’m sad, doesn’t mean I’m hungry. Besides, your idea of fast food is ripping off McDonald’s.
PERCY (impulsive, invisible perceptive) Doesn’t that make it faster?
DUSTY I just want to know one thing: What makes a full- grown dragon wreck property not his?
PERCY <s>I don’t like Toby. He wants you to move. What am I supposed to do if that happens?</s>
PERCY (impulsive, evasive) Wrecking Toby’s car makes him mind his own business, instead of sticking his long snout into ours.
DUSTY Long snout? Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Perhaps, even a little deviant?
PERCY #1. Kettles aren’t deviant.
#2. PERCY <s>Even the word sounds evil.</s>
DUSTY …Says the dragon. You don’t even know what deviant means, but you’re more perceptive than I give you credit.
PERCY <s>#1. Even the word sounds evil</s>.
PERCY (impulsive) #2. Perceptive sounds better than deviant. Or is that an insult?
DUSTY Best I can do. Not sorry.
Dusty puts Eve’s urn back on the shelf. He yawns.
PERCY (snorts) Humans get cranky when they’re hungry.
DUSTY Go chase a unicorn, Percy.
EXT. DUSTY’S CABIN – NIGHT
(After Percy jail-breaks Dusty and Ann, over Percy’s, stolen vehicle…)
Percy carts Ann, who’s still passed out, inside. Dusty follows.
EXT./INT. CABIN – NIGHT Percy staggers through the remnants of Dusty’s door. He carts Ann into the cabin, and drops her on the couch.
Dusty lights a kerosene lantern. Ann moans. Dusty groans.
DUSTY (to Percy) Another fine mess you’ve got me into. What am I supposed to do with her?
#1. PERCY <s>I don’t have a clue.</s>
#2. PERCY ( impulsive, perceptive) If I have to tell you, you’re more ignorant than I thought.
DUSTY When I get done with you, you’re going to learn who’s ignorant! And don’t pull anymore disappearing acts, ya’ hear?
PERCY (belches)
He disappears.
DUSTY Now, knock that off!
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Dusty Greene- An overweight, 9 y/o, vulnerable, foster kid with red hair, freckles, and Coca Cola glasses.
Character Traits: Insecure, bullied, intelligent invisible, <s>isolated</s>
Character Subtext: Clueless; invisible/Little John in Robin Hood—never quite sure of himself.
Flaw: No confidence.
Need: to know who he is.
Want: To be accepted
Character Arc: From a kid who doesn’t know who he is, to a royal subject on another planet.
Fear: To never fit; to not ever find true love.
**Agenda: Be a brave knight in shining armor with Percy, instead of a coward outrunning his three bullies.
Secret: No one knows, he knows a dragon, and he’s his best friend.
What he doesn’t want to admit to himself? That his life may never change.
Trait for improving script: Bravery– for his self concept.
Traits: Insecure, bullied, isolated, invisible.
Owls hoot. Bats flit the windows. A wolf howls. Ann paces the floor not daring to leave. She snores the other half, sprawling across a rug.
EXT. CABIN – DAY Insecure, bullied, invisible/brave
Dusty adjusts the carburetor, and changes the spark plugs. He wipes his hands on a rag, climbs in, and turns the key. The engine roars to life. He switches the ignition off, and plies on an old set of tires on the car from the garage.
DUSTY #1.<s>Maybe, these can get us to town.</s>
DUSTY ( insecure, brave ) #2. These tires are old, but maybe they can get us to town and back in one piece.<s></s>
Ann waits rumpled, red-eyed, and ready to leave.
Dusty bows, and opens the door with a sweep of his hand, inviting Ann into the front seat. Dusty realizes he is smiling.
DUSTY #1. <s>It’s not the best, but it shall have to do.</s>
DUSTY #2. You’re chariot awaits, M’lady. Insecure, brave)
She wipes the dust off the seat with her hand before she climbs in.
DUSTY <s>#1 Sorry, I haven’t cleaned it since Eve died.</s>
#2. I’m like the car, we’ve both been out of commission. (insecure)
ANN (softens) My condolences about your wife, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to kidnap me.
<s>#1. DUSTY: I’m not guilty, so I need no excuse.</s>
#2, DUSTY (brave, insecure) Am I huge and cumbersome? Does my snout crackle with fire and smoke? Do I lash my tail, screech and yowl when threatened? I’m not guilty. Percy is.
Dusty stares numbly through his cracked windshield and drives out the driveway in silence.
INT. CABIN – NIGHT
Dusty wakes Percy pacing the floor. His grieving continues, until Percy can’t stand it.
PERCY (to Dusty) Maybe, Toby has the right idea. Go find a nice woman, ya’ know…take her to dinner.
#1.How can I be fit company for anyone?
<s>#2. How can any ever hope to replace their wife?</s>
PERCY Give it a try. It can’t hurt.
DUSTY (insecure) #1. That’s like being unfaithful.
<s>#2. Easier said than done</s>.
PERCY You’re a mess! Here you are holed up with a dragon, when you have need of a good woman to talk to.
Percy hands Dusty a tissue.
PERCY How long does this grieving thing last?
DUSTY (facing facts, brave, insecure) #1. It’s different for everyone.
<s>#2. Guess it depends on how much you love someone.</s>
PERCY Let’s make a deal. You call Toby and go to dinner, and I promise to haul the car back to the lot in the morning.
DUSTY (eyes watering) (insecure) #1, My phone don’t work. My car don’t work; and worse, my life don’t work.
#2. DUSTY
<s>You can’t replace your wife. It’s not like she’s part of a litter.</s>
PERCY Find a woman. (rolling his eyes.) For everyone’s sake, just, find a woman!
DUSTY (blows his nose) (insecure) #1.That may work in your world, but humans are not animals, ya’ know?
<s>#2. What works for one, doesn’t always work for another</s>.
PERCY I beg to differ.
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Judith loves separating character dialogue – LESSON 13
What I learned doing this exercise is adding traits, all the traits to my characters is really a challenge that I need to keep working on. I did find myself wanting to read the other dialogue and starting to drift into me, so I had to force myself to read only Emily’s.
Emily’s traits:
Assertive
Creative
Hopeful
Ambitious
Stubborn
ALL THESE REDOS ARE EMILY’S SO I LEFT OUT HER NAME.
1.BEFORE
Waiting for final papers. No use getting Katie’s hopes up if something might happen. They might think we’re unfit.
AFTER
Waiting for final papers. Just a matter of time now. Can’t wait to surprise Katie.
2.BEFORE
I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s gone now.
AFTER
I’m fine. I’ve got work to do.
3.BEFORE
Great. Almost sold all twenty of my paintings.
AFTER
Almost sold all twenty of my paintings. On to the next show.
4.BEFORE
I love the quietness. Get a lot of painting done.
AFTER
I love the quietness. Helps me get into the flow of my work. It’s great having you here.
5.BEFORE
Beautiful.
AFTER
Beautiful. I like the way to set the flowers a little off center. Gives it character.
6.BEFORE
Thanks for your help. Tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it.
AFTER
Thanks for your help. Tomorrow? I’m looking forward to it.
7.BEFORE
Paintings I am replacing. The art gallery burned down last night.
AFTER
Paintings I am replacing. The art gallery burned down last night. My customers come first.
8.BEFORE
That’s all that is left.
AFTER
That’s all that is left, but it’s not gonna stop me.
9.BEFORE
Which project is that? I saw you holding hands.
AFTER
Which project is that? Hand holding!
10.BEFORE
Please go. I want to be alone.
AFTER
Go. I want to be alone.
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1.BEFORE
Waiting for final papers. No use getting Katie’s hopes up if something might happen. They might think we’re unfit.
AFTER
Waiting for final papers. Just a matter of time now. Can’t wait to surprise Katie.
—This is a great change! “Can’t wait to surprise Katie” really shows how hopeful she is!
2.BEFORE
I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s gone now.
AFTER
I’m fine. I’ve got work to do.
—I see her ambition in this line. Plus, the change is more assertive, with a hint of stubbornness left in “I’m fine.”
3.BEFORE
Great. Almost sold all twenty of my paintings.
AFTER
Almost sold all twenty of my paintings. On to the next show.
—I see ambition and her creative side (being able to create almost twenty sellable paintings).
4.BEFORE
I love the quietness. Get a lot of painting done.
AFTER
I love the quietness. Helps me get into the flow of my work. It’s great having you here.
—The “flow” is something all of us creative people can relate to!
5.BEFORE
Beautiful.
AFTER
Beautiful. I like the way to set the flowers a little off center. Gives it character.
—This one also shows her creative/artistic side.
6.BEFORE
Thanks for your help. Tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it.
AFTER
Thanks for your help. Tomorrow? I’m looking forward to it.
—And people say punctuation isn’t important! 🙂
7.BEFORE
Paintings I am replacing. The art gallery burned down last night.
AFTER
Paintings I am replacing. The art gallery burned down last night. My customers come first.
—I’m not sure about this change. It seems like the business side of her gallery trumps that art side, which might be out of character.
8.BEFORE
That’s all that is left.
AFTER
That’s all that is left, but it’s not gonna stop me.
—Nailed her stubbornness here!
9.BEFORE
Which project is that? I saw you holding hands.
AFTER
Which project is that? Hand holding!
—It amazes me how the slightest change can affect our emotions so deeply. I got a totally different feeling from the “after” line here.
10.BEFORE
Please go. I want to be alone.
AFTER
Go. I want to be alone.
–Definitely more assertive here. I wouldn’t mess with her!
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David loves separating character dialogue!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” This discipline is very helpful in focusing. When I started this script, I had very good ideas about character profiles. I wrote the original dialogue with those in mind. I couldn’t find any significant dialogue belonging to Paul, Grand Inquisitor, Jack, and Sandy that didn’t fit the characters in this exercise. So, no posting other than this.I will try it next focusing on active vs passive voice.
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Wow David, that really works. It plays right into how he believes the worst about himself. Might I have permission to use that line? And thank you that’s truly awesome!
Heather
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Ouch Susan, that’s one nasty guy! Please tell me she’s going to have a wake up call and dump the guy, or feed him to something that will devour him painfully. You sure got a handle on his behavior!
Heather
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Althea’s unique character study.
I learned that taking each character, reviewing their traits and focusing on only their dialogue
gives opportunity for that character to take on more depth.
Character Name: Robert Gladden, MD
Role: Father of Bobbie, Physician, Best selling Author
Core Character Traits:
– Charming
– Hovering parent
– Short fuse
– Workaholic
Character Subtext Logline: Robert feels a disconnect between him and his daughter since the passing of his wife 2 years ago that causes him to hold on too tightly.
Flaws: Confident bordering on arrogance.
Doubts that he can make a real connection with Bobbie.
Life Metaphor/identity: I can understand the mysteries of the brain but can’t have a meaningful relationship with my daughter.
Want: Better relationship with Bobbie Need: Love, Faith
Character Arc: Goes from unsure around Bobbie to more hopeful about their relationship.
_______________________ End of Character Profile ____________________________
INT. BOOK SIGNING EVENT SPACE – NIGHT
The book signing area is deserted. Everything is packed up. Robert sits alone and goes through his email on his phone. A picture of an African American woman late 30s-early 40s, PAM comes up on his phone.
The text says “This one has a great personality,loves kids” with a “smilie face emoji.” Robert looks annoyed and puts his phone away.
ROBERT
Never again. Thanks, but no thanks.
Melvin comes in with a cart and packs up all the book signing material. Robert helps.
MELVIN
Never again? Sorry Dr. Gladden. There are three more signings just here in Metro-Atlanta. From my count, you have at least twelve more to go, that’s if they don’t add more. You know how popular you are. You should count on some events being added.
ROBERT
Not that. You know I’m in my element at a book signing.
MELVIN
Dr. Gladden.
ROBERT
Yes?
MELVIN
How’s Bobbie doing?
ROBERT
What do you mean, how’s Bobbie doing? What have you heard?
She’s good, I think. Really, I don’t know.
MELVIN
If there is anything I can do to help you and Bobbie, just let me know.
ROBERT
I appreciate that Melvin. Yeah, maybe you could come by and talk to her, make sure she’s okay. She likes you.
MELVIN
What’s not to like?
ROBERT
I don’t want her to grow up too fast. I want to be there for her.
MELVIN
Of course Dr. G.
ROBERT
I know Bobbie needs her space. She’s growing up. She’s smart and responsible. We did a great job raising her.
MELVIN
All that’s true.
ROBERT
I mentioned to Pam that I thought that I might be ready to start dating again.
MELVIN
Uh Oh!
ROBERT
Uh Oh is right.
FLASHBACK:
Robert and FLASHBACK DATE (late 30’s early 40’s any race) sit at a restaurant table. Food with bread sticks are on the table. Flashback date is crying uncontrollably. Robert is uncomfortable and tries to get the SERVER’s attention. Meanwhile, Flashback date, while still crying, is slowly wrapping bread sticks and putting them in her purse.
ROBERT
Pam means well but if that date is any indication of how things will be, I quit now.
MELVIN
Isn’t there something about kissing frogs?
ROBERT
I was thinking that me having someone might be good for Bobbie too. We have Grandma Net and Pam so she has women in her life she can go to. I’m just afraid I might lose her. That just can’t happen.
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Benito Selim loves separating character dialogue
What I learned doing this assignment is giving your character their own voice is important for not only your story but whole script. Each character has to be their own individual and their own voice to go with it, otherwise everyone is just robots and following each other’s lead.
Protagonist: Kayla Evans
Role: Main character, Sister
Core Character Traits
– Party girl
– yearning for acceptance
– Naive
Character Subtext Logline: Kayla is a party sorority girl who is naïve to people befriending her because she just wants to be accepted.
Flaw: feels like she failed her parents because she isn’t an academic success.
Life Metaphor/Identity: Having her own voice and not compared to her sister.
Want: A new life. Need: Being her own individual and having a loving relationship with her sister.
Character Arc: Goes from a slacking party girl to a hero to save multiple lives.
In this scene Kayla tries to sneak out of the house to join her friends on their trip to Key West. Kayla learns her parents are going out of town and the trip home with her sister Lynette is canceled.
Lynette suspects that Kayla was going to flake on her, so she toys with Kayla.
This scene eventually leads to Kayla convincing Lynette to go on the trip with her and her friends.
BEFORE
KAYLA
You scared me. What time is it?
LYNETTE
Relax. Mom and dad are going out of town. Do what you want for spring break.
KAYLA
We’re staying here?
LYNETTE
No one will be home. I’m gonna start on my research paper.
KAYLA
That’s it? You don’t want to go, anywhere? And I don’t mean Starbucks or the library.
LYNETTE
I’m not you. People, don’t blow my phone up to hang out.
KAYLA
This is the time in our lives, when we’re enjoying ourselves. Before you know it, we’ll be done with school and starting our adult lives.
LYNETTE
Sure, let me go get a bottle now. Is that what you want me to say?
KAYLA
No. But, you should get out the house. I got a great idea. Come to the keys with me, Candy and Megan.
LYNETTE
Really? You have got to be kidding me.
KAYLA
Why not? It’ll be fun.
LYNETTE
Was this, a spur of the moment trip? Or did you plan to flake, again?
KAYLA
What is your problem?
LYNETTE
It’s the same thing every time, Kayla.
KAYLA
We just planned it, seriously.
KAYLA
We did last night. Besides, you’re not even going home.
LYNETTE
That’s not the point. All you do is party. I’ll be surprise, if you get your degree.
KAYLA
That’s low. And Lynette, all we do is fight. I think this would be a great way for us to bond. Sisters on a road trip, we would feel better and closer.
LYNETTE
Save the bullshit Kayla. You’re only concerned with your own ass.
AFTER
KAYLA
I’m awake was waiting for you to finish.
LYNETTE
Trips canceled, do what you want.
KAYLA
No home for spring break?
LYNETTE
Nope, mom and dad are taking a trip. I’ll be taking advantage of college for what it is, extending my learning.
KAYLA
You don’t want to do anything besides Starbucks and the library?
LYNETTE
My phone doesn’t ring to hang out. All my friends are in books.
KAYLA
Bring them to life along with yourself. You need a break, let your hair down, pop out your tits.
LYNETTE
Sure, I’ll go commando too.
KAYLA
If you’d like but its uncomfortable in jeans. Come to the keys with me, Candy and Megan.
LYNETTE
The keys? I knew it. why did I think Kayla would be different this time around?
KAYLA
What do you, oh now it’s not…
LYNETTE
Oh? Let’s see a spur of the moment trip? Save it.
KAYLA
It actually is
LYNETTE
It’s the same thing every time, Kayla.
KAYLA
Are original trip is canceled.
LYNETTE
That’s not the point. I know you; you know you.
KAYLA
That’s low. Besides we’re not going home.
LYNETTE
Kayla I can’t spell out the point to you. You want to really surprise me try using college to actually earn your degree.
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