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Day 14 Assignment
Reply to post your assignment.
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15 Replies
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Alice’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
What I learned during this assignment is
I don’t have any clishe, or if I do, I don’t know where they are
However some scenes seems to me generic, simply because I know I don’t have their solution
For example, recognizing someone is gone. The way I see it it seems boring
Or visit to Police Office
1. First, go through your outline and identify any scenes that you’ve seen
in another movie or that feel familiar.
Hero goes to Police Office
Hero notices security guard disappearance
2. Select at least one of those scenes for this assignment (If you claim
you don’t have any clichè scenes, then select a scene that you want
improved) and list it like this:
RI security guard
Police Office #1
Police Office #2
3. Then list the purpose. What are you trying to accomplish with that scene?
PURPOSE: Hero needs to address police, who refuse him
4. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose.
A. First visit, he might be refused by Police Officer who asks if he turned with it to Director of RI, and squeeze his shoulders hearing that one is gone.
B. His second visit might be more dramatic, he is refused upon social statement.
This way two visits won’t repeat each other.
5. Use the three criteria to make your selection.
A. Does it fulfill the purpose/meaning that is important to me?
B. Is it a significant departure from the clichè scene?
C. Does it accomplish the purpose in a fresh and surprising way that
will entertain audiences?
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June Fortunato’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…excellent assignment!
1) The empty house. Roy’s in the empty house. Purpose: Roy has hidden something from his ex. Brainstorm: instead of booze- something she doesn’t want to eat or doesn’t want him to have- tub of french fries, caramels, a whole chocolate cake, cigars, store bought huge package of chocolate covered oreos or just a huge stash of chewing tobacco. Selection: Behind the refrigerator, Roy has a private stash box with a whole chocolate cake, salty junk food, bottle of booze, small bag of pot and something medal with a ribbon, wrapped in an old towel. *Solution: Roy discovers that Suzy found his stash. She has left a note.
2) Roy in traction. Doctors speak to Suzy and Roy. His condition is failing. Purpose: his body is falling apart and he must stop living the life of adventure. Why? Condition: as of yet, undetermined- was considering liver failure. Brainstorm: Stroke potential. Super high blood pressure. Worsening dementia. PTSD triggers are multiplying. Hearing loss. Radiation poisoning. Hep C. Exposure to fuels (petro, oils lubrucants) Respiratory, headaches, dizziness, sleep disorders. Selection: Viet Nam exposed him to fuels and his rough life is causing Respiratory, headaches, dizziness, sleep disorders.
3) Kim in hospital. Kim is recovering from a bullet wound. Purpose- she has to be in the hospital to meet Roy and to indicate trouble/abuse. Problem: She should be an osteo reason as that’s the ward Roy and eventually Marilyn is in. Brainstorm: She broke her hip & needed pins. She was too close to the edge of the cliff contemplating her life. She was pushed by her brother’s wife down a staircase. She started a fight with her brother and siter in law. She dove into their swimming pool and hit the board. She damaged their property and while running flipped over landscaping. Selection: Not bullet- must be osteo. Hip is better than arm- which is outpatient. Needed pins. Pushed down a staircase is an event that happened in my family’s history.
4) What Kim stole. Kim is in a fancy gym talking loudly to herself. Purpose- she’s just had a traumatic experience and she’s milking something she stole. I have changed the order of the scenes for a greater impact.
5) Marilyn’s in trouble. Marilyn, with a broken hip, is now in the hospital taken care of by nurse Suzy. Purpose- she must meet Suzy, who arranges for her to meet Roy and eventually solves everyone’s problem. Also, she helps Marilyn with the petsit. Problem: it’s a little too convenient. tries to get someone else to do it- But instead, she’s told to stay. She resentfully helps the woman but Marilyn reminds her of someone Suzy loved and lost- a mother- an aunt. She mentions it. Later, the hospital will find another nurse but Suzy stops in all the time to check on Marilyn. She has connected with this woman as a substitute for someone she has lost.
6) Roy’s soft touch with animals. Roy and Kim volunteer at an animal refuge. Purpose- to demonstrate Roy’s extreme resonance with and kindness to animals. Brainstorm: zoo, petstore, bird sanctuary, park- where animals are attracted to him- streets. Solution: Roy and Kim go to Kim’s cliffside place- a baby squirrel runs and seeks protection on his foot. He spots the nest- 20 feet high in a tree- climbs the tree and returns the baby.
7) Roy wakes to see film crew. Roy sleeps on a park bench. Purpose: Roy wakes to a film crew setting up nearby. Desperate for his old life. Brainstorm: Revolving restaurant. He snuck in to ‘find someone’ and hid until the restaurant closed. Then he watched the city all night. Top floor, Loews hotel meeting rooms, Crystal Tea room- panoramic view atop the old department store. Selection: Revolving restaurant because it’s a view of the city which he ‘owns’ thrilling, distant, exciting, isolating. He is alone.
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Dev Ross – Cliché busting
What I learned from doing this assignment was farther ranging than I thought. True, it made me see a few scenes in a whole new way, but even in scenes I felt were not cliché, I still found ways to subtly change them to make them richer and, in some places, twister. Great lesson!
CHOSEN SCENE: MORNING SCENE BETWEEN CAINE AND HIS WIFE
PURPOSE: Keep Lizzie’s intention in that she wants her husband to understand that she needs more time with him.
IDEAS:
A. As she comes home, she immediately makes their contact sexual. She unbuttons the top part of her nurse uniform, kisses him deeply.
B. As she comes home, she hands him a letter. After she exists, he reads it. It looks official. It’s her demands for more of his time. He has to check the box that states the demands he can live with.
C. As she arrives home, he sees she’s wearing a KKK robe. Thought that was the only way she could get his attention.
CHOSEN SCENE: House painting scene with Caine and Elijah
PURPOSE: To show Caine’s conflicted feelings about the boy due to his own childhood trauma.
A. When the boy messes up, he hugs him close and then violently pushes him away in case anyone is watching.
B. When the paint spills, Caine spills his guts about his own father.
C. Go to paint store to buy more paint. Boy offers to pay because it was his fault. FLASHBACK to Caine’s as a child quick to take on the fault for the sake of avoiding his father’s wrath.
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Lisa’s Pass #8: Cliché Busting!
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned that it is difficult to see cliches in your own work. It would be helpful for others to let you know if something feels cliché when they read it.
CHOSEN SCENE: On the Way to School scene
PURPOSE: To give Peter a reason to see the NORAD screen and get the idea to kidnap Santa. To show Mary and Peter’s co-parenting.
IDEAS:
A. Mary, Joseph, and the girls are eating at ZuZu’s café and Peter comes in to pick up to go food.
B. Mary and the kids are serving dinner at the local firehouse for shelter men and women and Peter is in line to eat.
C. Peter is at Mary’s house for visitation and the girls show him that the NORAD site is broken.
D. Peter is at Martini’s Bar with Tilly and the news on the tv explains that NORAD is getting ready for Santa’s flight around the world.
E. Peter is obsessed with checking the weather on his phone because he needs snow, and a Santa Claus keeps flying across the screen. He finally stops and clicks on it. It takes him to the NORAD site where they explain Santa’s flight.
F. Peter waits outside the dance studio for the girls to come out so he can see them.
G. Peter runs into Mary and the girls outside the Clarence Hotel. Mary needs to go to the theater to work on the radio show for a half hour. She asks Peter to take the girls for ice cream. While eating ice cream they show him the NORAD site on their tablet.
CHOSEN SCENE: Final Scene in which Mary finally says yes to Joseph.
PURPOSE: To put a happy ending on the movie because that is what audiences expect from a Rom-Com.
IDEAS:
A. Mary could decide she doesn’t love Joseph or Peter and what she needs now is to be alone with her daughters.
B. At church Christmas Day all the townspeople sings Hark the Harold Angels Sing as Mary and Joseph walk down the aisle. (Surprise wedding-is that a cliché?)
C. Mary and Peter get back together, and they’ll run the snowmobile shop together.
D. Mary loves playing Santa and leaves with Santa for the North Pole. Janie and Ruthie become elves.
E. Mary runs for mayor of Seneca Falls and wins!
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Cameron Martin’s Pass #8: Cliche Busting!
What I learned doing this assignment is…I love Hal’s brainstorming method, and the application of it to each scene is really fun. Honestly, it didn’t take long at all to come up with another 10 ideas for what a typical set piece could be, and it really opened up some possibilities. Plus, I could imagine this technique being really useful in meeting with a producer. Let’s say one of my ideas for a location or a specific action can’t be done because of budgeting, access to locations, contracts, etc, and I have to find a way to use what the production does have access to, while keeping the script true to its original vision. This skill is awesome for that, and what’s more is I’ll already have a bank of ideas before that conversation ever arises! Really simple strategy, and I’m looking forward to applying it throughout my outlines, beyond the improvement of cliche set piece.
OPEN WIDE
CHOSEN SCENE: Crawling through a vent/air duct
PURPOSE: Get characters from point A to B, set up Isaiah getting infected, and escape set piece.
1. Moving through the walls.
2. Crawling beneath the floors.
3. Sneaking down an open hallway.
4. Opening up walls and crossing through them.
5. Tiptoeing through a nest/egg deposit.
6. Wading through the sewers.
7. Walking over rafters on top of the enclosed colony in a space suit.
8. Remote controlling a robot that gets covered in spores.
9. Going through a mine shaft
10. Running and gunning through a hostile hive of different aliens.
I really like number 7. Just can’t get it out of my mind because it opens up more possibilities, and I can combine it with others like number 10.
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Anna Harper Pass 8 Cliche Busting
What I learned in this assignment: I found one large cliche that was deliberate and intended as humour. However, after reviewing it, felt I could come up with something more relevant and fun for my intended audience. So I used the cliche as an inspiration and replaced it with a rap that I wrote, tongue in cheek.
The purpose was to reinforce the antagonist as bad. Humour lightens the ‘on the nose problem.’
Here is the cliche revisited
Steve has been summoned to an interview at Dylan’s school, Elizabeth says Dylan is in trouble again for fighting. This is a lie. Steve agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home. Cliche Elizabeth closes the classroom door, and in her private moment takes the mirror out of her desk drawer and says mirror who is the fairest teacher of them all?
New added rap in progress
Original inspiration
mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all
what are little girls made of, sugar and spice and all things nice thats what little girls are made of
what are little boys made of slime and snails and puppy dogs tails thats what little boys are made of
CHANGE RAP RIF IN PROGRESS
1. I am a mean machine, mean Lizzie
2, meet the teacher creature
3. stuck here in this school for teens, not coolio
4. I’m mean Lizzie, keepin’ em busy yo
5 with too much homework Yo, detentions, writing lines, mean
6 I mean I am mean Lizzie the meet the creature teacher, the mean machine teacher
7 teens are trouble, boil and bubble, teens are trouble
no fun for me
8 no fun for them I’m mean teach Lizzie
9 rather be on the beach mean teach,
10 I’ll show them, get what I want, kinda creature teacher
11 don’t mess with me mean teens cause I can mess with your dreams
12 and call your parents yo
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by
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Anita Gomez’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
What I learned doing this is assignment: I really like focusing on the 3 criteria you gave us in judging a scene here: 1) Does it fulfill the purpose I meant for the scene?; 2) Is it a SIGNIFICANT departure from a cliché?; and 3) Does it accomplish my purpose in a fresh / surprising / entertaining way? I don’t know if each chosen scene below are cliché… but I am intrigued by the challenge to be: “familiar yet different or “familiar with a twist”
1. First, go through your outline and identify / list any scenes that you’ve seen in another movie or that feel familiar.
INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Danica has made an abortion appointment. She’s confronted by rabid anti-abortion protestors outside. She enters the clinic, but at the last minute, can’t go through with it.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EVENING
Cyrus the family man, interacts with his two pre-teen kids in a fatherly but distracted and cool, distant way. The home he provides is materially beautiful, but he is detached, deferring the kids’ needs to his wife.
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dianna’s parents are worrying to each other about her lack of friends and emotional detachment (perhaps a report from school of cruelty)
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Danica is shopping in the girl’s department – first through infant wear, then toddlers through the teens’ sections. She is sad and pensive, obviously dreaming of brooding about the child she gave away.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Exemplifying her pathological inability to connect with people, her boyfriend is breaking up with her, calling her an ice queen, stone cold bitch, etc. and accusing her of having an abortion of their child without consulting him. Dianna too calmly says that “it’s her body, her choice – and NO ONE leaves her… she does the leaving” and grabs a gun from a dresser drawer. He bolts before she can fire but we see she would actually be capable of cold-blooded murder.
INT. DANICA’S LAW OFFICE – DAY
Her coworkers are enjoying a baby shower for one of their peers. Lots of “Oohing” and “Aahing” over adorable infant clothes, etc. Danica quietly withdraws and closes her door to them.
2. Select at least one of those scenes for this assignment.
CHOSEN SCENE: Anti-abortion protestors.
3. List the purpose. What are you trying to accomplish?
PURPOSE: Underscore the very personal and emotional angst of this huge decision.
4. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose.
A. Maybe she cries all the way to clinic.
B. Maybe she gets to the point of lying on the table; and the next scene is her buying diapers, revealing she couldn’t go through with is
C. Maybe there ARE protestors… but not rabid… maybe singing soft hymns she has heard from her childhood (an echo of the previous church scene)
D. Maybe a nurse comes into the room mistaking her for another patient and starts an ultrasound instead of prepping her for a D&C and Danica hears the heartbeat.
E. Maybe Danica starts “spotting” and thinking she is going to have a miscarriage realizes she doesn’t want the baby to die.
F. Maybe as she drives to the clinic she hears of another abortion clinic getting bombed.
5. Use the three criteria to make your selection.
A. Does it fulfill the purpose/meaning that is important to me?
B. Is it a significant departure from the clichè scene?
C. Does it accomplish the purpose in a fresh and surprising way that will entertain audiences?
I SELECT: Maybe there ARE protestors… but not rabid… maybe singing soft hymns she has heard from her childhood (an echo of the previous church scene) because I want to stick to her core religious upbringing as the final deciding factor in bringing the baby to term, and this is a softer more subtle (and hopefully fresher) take on what could be cliché.
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Kate’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
i WHAT I LEARNED: Interesting to find new ways to the subtext that also subtly evolves/adds depth-context the characters.
CHOSEN SCENE: (#1) Nia’s Breakfast appeal, to D for the town, belittling/dismissive of her, ‘like her mother’ (MidPoint)
PURPOSE: keep subtext of Nia seeing the dismissive ugly side of her father to her personally. His attachment to money over all
IDEAS:
A. in the garden, a mouse in a trap still alive, Nia wants to let it go. D says why? it’s just a mouse, lots of them. gives her a talk about the survival of the fittest like in this village. She suggests that everyone has the right to survive regardless of wealth – he laughs -says You’r’ so like your mother. and it is a cryptic remark. She doesn’t ask about the landfill at this time.
B. Nia asks him to tell her something about her Mother – he launches into how soft she was, didn’t understand money and how she always thought the little people needed help. Warns her not to be sucked into this community they are all out for something from him. Don’t be soft like your Mother.
C. Nia reading the paper about a philanthropist helping out a small community. How cool her dad could do the same. he dismisses that as soft nonsense – people will take advantage of you – nothing is free. Mentions that her Mother was always wanting to give everything away.
CHOSEN SCENE: (#2) 1)Ds first moment seeing Amahla through Nia (Inciting Incident)
PURPOSE: keep subtext of D loving Amahla and how like her Nia is
IDEAS.
A. Nia throws flowers to the crowd and D catches one. She smiles right at him – he is transported back to a
smiling Amahla with armful of flowers
B. Nia acting on stage – D suddenly sees Amahla singing on stage – the words overlap so it seems Nia is singing. Amahla blows kisses to him and he kisses his hand back to her. Comes to and he is about to blow a kiss to Nia who is oblivious. Luciana is watching him carefully.
C. D back at his house alone after the show -pulls out an old photo stares – hears Amahla’s voice asking him to take care of her baby – recalls a fun warm moment with the three of them, Nia about 3, Amahla dead spit of Nia now
CHOSEN SCENE: (#3) 1)Luciana’s telling of D overhearing conversation with A and L (Crisis)
PURPOSE: how memory/truth can be erased by the stories we are told
IDEAS
A. As Luciana tells Nia it is interspersed with memories of her grandmother telling little Nia a different story
B. as Luciana begins Nia suddenly recalls being in the room and seeing it all, as her parents and L fought it out
C. Nia starts to say No No to L, L leads her through as process to allow herself to remember. L knew she was there.
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[PS81] Antonio Flores’ Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
What I learned doing this assignment is…
That I need to review some of the skills learned from previous courses. The Great Endings and Maximum Entertainment could count as samples of big help.
ASSIGNMENT
1. Identify any scenes that you’ve seen in another movie or that feel familiar.
2. Make a list of those scenes with titles
3. Then list the purpose.
4. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose.
CHOSEN SCENE 1: Meet The Ruler
Parisa, Badahur and Philip are informed that to win the poison’s antidote and their freedom, they must win the tournament final match.
PURPOSE: Introduce the rules, the new environment they just entered, and what is at stake.
IDEA 1: They step into the darkness of a dome. Spotlights turn on: THE OCTAGON. Augmented reality starts as they step in the cage. THE RULER presents his vision: a modern Roman coliseum. LIONS fast approach. The cage walls get lifted up! THE LIONS… fade away. A new AR illusion replaces them. Rules will change, too. But if they want the antidote and their freedom, they must play — they must win the final match.
IDEA 2: They step into the darkness of the night. A buzz escalates until it turns into a crowd approaching. A massive crowd performs HAKA. The octagon descends from nowhere on top of them. The voice of THE RULER rings everywhere. Nothing stays true. Rules will change, as well. But if they want the antidote and their freedom, they must play — they must win the final match.
IDEA 3: They step into the darkness of the night. The voice of THE RULER rings everywhere. This will be the Mecca of underground MMA. Fortunes will pour into tournaments with deadly fights. They will test this all. A prototype tournament. Nothing stays true. Rules will change, as well. But if they want the antidote and their freedom, they must play — they must win the final match.
IDEA 4: Badahur asks the Ruler, what if we give you exactly what you want and we forget all this? The Ruler replies. Do I want anything from you? A secrets is like a heavy load, a burden that YOU may soon want to get rid of. You may beg for me to take the burden out from you, but no otherwise. Now, let’s play. Shall we? Rules will change, but if you want the antidote and your freedom, you must play — you must win the final match.
CHOSEN SCENE 2: Help a lifeless woman
A DRONE SQUAD and soldiers arrive. Philip’s message went through! The Ruler is busted. Badahur urges paramedics to help the lifeless woman in his arms.
PURPOSE: To create tension about their escape. Like the fights where it’s not over until it’s over.
IDEA 1: Badahur puts aside the antidote and cuddles Parisa in his arms. The antidote is meaningless without her. French paramedics notice him. Take them away. Gone. The antidote is left behind right where Parisa collapsed.
IDEA 2: Badahur puts aside the antidote and cuddles Parisa in his arms. Parisa POV — a blur. “How bad is it?” Parisa asks, like every night after being beaten in the underground octagon. This is the same conversation she had with Sandy back then. The blur seems to look at her and say thank you. “For what? I must go back? Where?” Like the AR, the image changes. Commotion. “She’s back”, a voice says. Now Badahur realizes, he left the antidote behind.
5. Use the three criteria to make your selection.
I guess I still have to develop more ideas, but I think some of the points developed may already count as improvements. I could even combine some of the newly brainstormed ideas.
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Matthew Frendo’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
What I learned doing this assignment was how to avoid cliches in the outline stage. This will help my scripts be more original and engaging to audiences.
NOTE: The idea that I chose is in bold for each scene.
CHOSEN SCENE: Show intro showing criminal “players”
PURPOSE: introduce characters and show how games are presented
BRAINSTORM:
Have rebel broadcast be first thing
Make first part a gamblers stake of who they are betting on
Show BTS part of show
Show prisoners being chosen and taken
Show lead character’s “crime” and then other crimes as flashbacks
Have narrator give world overview
Use opening crawl
Have it start at ending
Show audience talking about past games
Have trading cards of criminals being traded
Watch people vote for players on social media
Have players selected at beginning
Have rebel transmission start it, then have one of those players killed during opening
Have opening of games then explosion before starting new games
Have it be like Olympics, with criminals trying for a part
Have them be chosen, but the third chosen gives it up to the rebellion with a grenade. Alicia and survivors are automatic players now because they survived.
CHOSEN SCENE: Escape / punishment rooms
PURPOSE: to give life threatening challenges to players
Have people vote on challenges
Have challenges roll over to next one, increasing each time
Have challenges related to every player’s past
Have all group challenges instead of individual
Have challenges be horror like
Have challenges represent political ideals (example: animal activism causes bear traps to be put in room to show how brutal they are) as activists pay for it as “marketing”
Have corporations sponsor rooms that are based on their product, paying for it as “marketing”
Have challenges based on nationality or country
Have players come from different countries with only those countries voting on their punishment and their rooms representing that country
Have challenges involve other people outside
Have challenges have deeper stakes, like death of loved one
Have bonuses given for certain rooms, when a special ops assignment is completed
Have people pay to be a killer of criminals
Have people from society forced to go against them to show patriotism
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PS81 – Dana’s Pass #8: Cliché Busting
What I learned during this assignment:
My story takes place in one location, and to brainstorm cliches and create new scenes to accomplish my purpose was difficult. I had to reimagine the purpose of several scenes that act together.
I emphasize my character’s frustration the opening scenes, but now I think I should add humor to create some emotional variation before I put my protagonist through the coming horror.
CHOSEN SCENE 1: STUCK IN TRAFFIC
PURPOSE: To add frustration to Ellen’s morning and reveal the husband’s reasons for using Uber to take their children to school on his way to work.
IDEAS:
A. On a commuter bus, Ellen stands holding the rails while men sit. She’s on the phone with her ear pods arguing with her husband. She realizes everybody is listening when she hangs up, adding to her bad morning.
B. In the back of an Uber, being driver to work, she fights with her husband over a family problem that is not work related. He tells her that his Uber has arrived, which is normal – they both use Uber in the city – and hangs up.
C. Waking up at home and having breakfast with family before heading to work can demonstrate Ellen’s insecurities but also show family support. Her daughters can ask questions about her career to inform the audience and reveal the husband’s need to use Uber.
CHOSEN SCENE 2: CONFERENCE ROOM
PURPOSE: To show Ellen’s frustration with her low ratings and her career.
IDEAS:
A. She’s told she’d late for a meeting that she forgot only to be surprised by the station manager with a celebration for her ratings. The manager discusses the possibility of taking her show national, adding excitement for her career. The success of her career, however, will add strife to her already disrupted family life, which she and her producer can discuss.
B. She has a meeting scheduled with the station manager in his office, a one-on-one meeting about her show and her ratings. But he uses the opportunity to make a subtle pass at her, adding to the frustration of her morning.
C. Ellen arrives at the station in time to see everyone in the conference room filing out. She missed the meeting completely, and the station manager invites her to grab coffee at the coffee shop in the building.
CHOSEN SCENE 2: WOMEN’S ROOM CONVERSATION
PURPOSE: To discuss Ellen’s ratings and express her insecurities and self-doubt with her producer.
IDEAS:
A. Ellen stands on the roof of the building with the smokers and, though she doesn’t smoke, takes the cigarette from her producer to relieve tension and discuss their ratings and her situation.
B. In the women’s room, she takes out her frustration by talking to herself without realizing she in the men’s room until a male colleague flushes the toilet and steps from the stall. Her producer finds her, and they discuss the situation, keeping the other men out until they’re done.
C. In the maintenance closet, Ellen and her producer share a cigarette and discuss their problems with men and pump each other up with locker room bravado before their show to elevate the moment with humor.
D. In the technical room, Ellen’s producer plays an older recording of an on-air host that totally bombs out. This is mean to reinforce Ellen’s abilities and confidence before her show. It will create the humor before the emotional turbulence that follows.
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Arthur’s Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
WHAT I LEARNED: Like brainstorming concepts earlier in the course, you may use this same technique to work around Clichés in your film.
CHOSEN SCENE: Int Bridge Scene
PURPOSE: Keep the subtext that Capt Reilly doesn’t trust Chase to take the shuttle to the moon with Skyler’s life in the balance.
IDEAS:
A. She appeals to his ego that he is the only one capable of reprogramming the Reliant’s sling-shot maneuver around the moon and back to earth.
B. Tara comes into the scene and helps Reilly by telling Chase she needs his help with her frequency generator calculations for the adapted Tesla Shield.
C. Nico overhears the conversation and comes in to enlist Chase’s aid in timing the necessary anti-matter braking formula for the sling-shot around the moon.
D. Reilly brings up a video file of Chase’s failure in a crash-landing scenario at NASA. A video that was suppressed by NASA.
E. Reilly enlists Dr. Quinn’s aid that he needs Chase to stay on the ship and be his test subject for the anti-radiation serum.
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Nancy Kates Pass 8 Cliché busting
What I learned from this assignment: I need to keep working on this. My biggest problem is that the story itself is kind of cliche, though fun. Nothing I came up with felt natural or anything short of preposterous, in part because the rest of the story is set in a realistic, if comedic world. I don’t think it’s going to become less cliche, no matter what device I use to cause them to switch bodies. Will keep working on it, however.
Cliché: magic that causes them to switch bodies
Purpose: to cause this radical and magical shift in the lives and consciousness of the two characters.
One difficulty here: the entire genre is a bit of a cliché, even though this is a fresh take on the genre. I haven’t entirely decided what the rules of this world are, ie it isn’t our world, because they can switch bodies, but that’s the only magical thing in the script. Everything else is fairly normal
3. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose
–they fall into a vat of magic liquid of some kind
–they encounter an urban version of a wicked witch who puts a hex on them
–they encounter a crone in the woods, as in a fairy tale
–they eat a magical substance that someone has given them (ie cake, elixir, potion)
–they encounter a kid with a Harry Potter wand, only this one actually works to do spells
–they make a wish on an ordinary birthday cake and magic happens
–one of them has an epileptic fit or some sort of physical problem that triggers the switch
–they go to a building or place that has magical powers, ie walk a maze or something that transforms them
–same general plot but they go to a party that is wild, and end up on the beach with the Wiccan priestess, instead of seeking her out. The potion they drink has to be some sort of drug, and Marilyn has to make a wish that she could be someone else, ideally someone queer
–they find some sort of totemic object that creates the switch when Marilyn wishes on it. At the moment, it’s just a stone she throws in the fire. Could possibly be something else.
I’m
going to try doing the party one. It’s close to the other idea, but a little less
directed, ie the Wiccan Priestess is there on the beach, but they didn’t seek
her out, they just wandered outside to the beach. She can tell them that it is Midsummer/Litha,
and that their wishes may have more importance than on other nights. She might
also tell them that the punch they were drinking has been laced with MDMA. -
Justina Mitchell’s Pass #8: Cliche Busting!
What I learned doing this assignment is that cliches are a little hard to spot since it seems everything has been written at least once before. That being said, on this pass I finally got the inspiration I've been needing to solve outstanding problems. I now know when and where my movie takes place. I also know what Stanley's pretense occupation is and why he is hanging around Maggie's place so much. Phew! I basically had to rewrite the whole outline to get everything congruent.Chosen Scene:
Makeup Scene at the End
Purpose:
Maggie forgives Stanley and re-accepts his proposal
Brainstorm Options:
Maggie’s car crashes into the lake and Stanley saves her so she forgives him.
Stanley’s car crashes into the lake and Maggie saves him so she forgives him.
A paparazzi photographer thinks he recognizes Stanley at the ice festival, but Maggie saves him and forgives him.
Stevie gets lost in a blizzard and Stanley joins the search to find him. He and Maggie find him at the same time and she promises to forgive him if they survive.
Stanley calls his famous friends to come stay Maggie’s B&B and she forgives him.
My Selection:
Stevie gets lost in a blizzard and Stanley joins the search to find him. He and Maggie find him at the same time and she promises to forgive him if they survive.
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Day 14: Clichè Busting – Assignment
ProSeries – Mike O – Pass #8: Clichè Busting!
What I learned doing this assignment is… you have in your subconscious a library room filled with old movies, scenes you liked, ideas that you gleaned from TV, the movies, or even write-ups about movies. These memories have a tendency to bleed into your script and become the genesis of your cliché. I went through the outline and asked myself at each slug-line. Have I seen this before. If I had, I wrote down what movie it came from in red ink and moved to the next slug-line.
1. Go through your outline and identify any scenes that you’ve seen in another movie or that feel familiar. Make sure you are rigorous about this. Any scene that you’ve seen before gets flagged.
1a. Make a list of those scenes:
(1) Opening Scene: INT. CAFE — LUNCH — very common place. Need something more telling (2) INT. ART GALLERY OFFICE – DAY – introduction of antagonist, he’s charming, overdone. (3) INT. SMOKE SHACK – EVENING (feels overused) Brooklyn meets Richard at the restaurant for dinner and to talk about the gallery and get her up to speed. Richard tries to seduce her, she is too gun-shy. (4) INT. GALLERY – LATER (apology basket; overused) Have him do something unusual (Redo)
Brooklyn gets a basket of goodies from Tarek w/ an apology card. He’s sorry for what happened to her gallery and for how poorly he explained himself at the café.
2. Select at least one of those scenes for this assignment (If you claim you don’t have any clichè scenes, then select a scene that you want improved) and list it like this:
2a. CHOSEN SCENE: INT. GALLERY – LATER Tarek sends a horse-drawn sleigh to the gallery, has Brooklyn driven to the café (Ruby’s Café) Tarek has a private room inside reserved for their meal.
3. Then list the purpose. What are you trying to accomplish with that scene? It will show the romantic side to Tarek. The whimsical, over-the-top gesture which draws Brooklyn out of her shell, brings out the kid in her as well.
4. Brainstorm 5 to 25 other ways to accomplish that purpose. (1) Tarek could hire carolers to stand outside the gallery and sing to Brooklyn (2) Tarek can have a care package sent to her cabin (3) Tarek can have a photograph he took of her enlarged, framed & waiting for her inside her Jeep. (4) Plan a picnic. It’s a classic for a reason: time away, time alone. (5) Attend the Christmas play at the local high school.
5. Use the three criteria to make your selection. I choose the picnic even though it is winter and there is snow. He can take her to a campsite, build a fire, bring cocoa, warm stew, Xmas music , etc.
5a. Does it fulfill the purpose/meaning that is important to me? Revealing the romantic aspect of Tarek.
5b. Is it a significant departure from the clichè scene? It still could be seen as a cliché only no one picnics in winter.
5c. Does it accomplish the purpose in a fresh & surprising way that will entertain audiences? Picnicking in snow, blankets a small propane heater, Xmas music, warm food and cocoa… I can have Brooklyn comment on how summer picnics miss out on (1) snowflakes, on white bunnies in the snow, etc.
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