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Day 14 Assignments
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Assignment 14:
What I learned doing this assignment? This was the toughest so far. It almost seems to me to be a subconscious exercise during the writing, then reviewing to make sure enough boxes are checked.
Set-Up – Discovery Action Track (pages 1 – 4) – Trevor seen breaking into home and stealing valuable items and copies a document he has found
Purpose: Is hero a man of character or just a thief.
Pre-Action:
Create the need for action – ends up being caught stealing and must escape
Create the need for action – stumbles across diabolic plan
Action:
Sequence emotions to make unique – almost caught once but is undetected, when thinks he is in the clear he is caught again
1) Environment: elaborate estate
2) Rules: Gentleman Thief, no guns
3) Villain: Guards
4) Mission: Steal to give to the poor, modern-day robin hood
5) Struggle: set’s entire struggle of film of finding a plot that involves the death of innocents and a takeover of government
6) Surprise: Finds plans when not expecting
7) Danger/Excitement: Must fight his way out
8) Unique Skillset: Navy Seal Team Leader, Ninjitsu
9) Meaning:
10) Allies: none
11) Weapon: non-lethal
12) Adrenaline: must escape without guns
Post Action:
Discovered a clue: found the plan
More Motivation: horrific plan that cannot be overlooked
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Subject line: Dennis Chrisman Great Action Set Piece!
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Using all the lessons information, it becomes clear that pre-scene analysis and careful planning of action scenes are the key to making them more than just action scenes. Most all screenplay genres have some sort of action, whether it be killing or just an emotional conflict. By incorporating the pre-scene analysis following this prescription makes for a better written story.
Take an Action Set Piece from your outline and use the steps above to turn it into an amazing experience for the reader and audience.
1. Build in the meaning.
Pre-Action
– Create the need for action. Nancy and the kids have escaped from the gang and are headed to James’ farm.
– Demand a change the characters need to go through. Having been captured once none of the protagonist want to go through that torment again.
– Put a plan into action and see if it works.
– Test a relationship. Nancy, not knowing the future hopes that James’ farm and her dad and mom are alive and safe.
– Set up a question that matters to the audience. Will Nancy and the kids reach the farm unscathed.
Action
– Make the Action Unique. Nancy’s SUV is damaged and on its last leg. They no longer can escape and evade as normal.
– Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
Post-Action
– Reveals something new.
– Deeper relationship.
– More motivation to fight or defend.
– Another bad guy vanquished.
– Discovered a clue or piece of the puzzle.
– Intrigue has been uncovered.
2. Make the Action Unique.
STEP 1: List your 9 Places for Uniqueness.
§ Environment: Southwest United States in a world thrust into chaos.
§ Rule: The motorcycle gang has very few rules, but they still must adhere to simple physics, i.e., they must have gas to ride the motorcycles. The protagonist still plays fair and is further constrained by vehicle performance.
§ Villain: The antagonist strives to live without rules. They are armed, but low on logistics, i.e., ammunition and gas.
§ Struggle: The protagonist has instinctive survival skills and is more likely to fight than flight. The safety of the children is the struggle factor. While not cognizant, the protagonist’s need to protect the children is not only human/mother instinct, but she may consider them the future of mankind.
§ Mission: Get the children safely to the farm.
§ Unique Skillset of Hero: Ability to assimilate her police training and complete focus on the mission.
§ Meaning: The safety of the children is paramount. It’s akin to building a future for the United States.
§ Allies: There are no allies until they get into the firing range of the farm and other boobytraps set by the members of the farm.
§ Weapon: Guns. Chains, Molotov cocktails, etc.
STEP 2: Use Strategies for Uniqueness to elevate them.
– What if…? This scenario could take place in virtually any environment. The more complex the environment the more complex the scenario. This coincides with length and story. The more complex the scenario the story must be altered to fit the location and that may extend the length of the script by as much as 10 pages.
– Take to an extreme. What if there were two protagonists? This would split the antagonist forces to deal with the extra vehicle. What, if the protagonists were heavily armed or additional adults.
– Specific to character or environment. What if the character was a man? Would this affect the outcome of the script?
– Shocking or Surprising.
– Go opposite. The protagonist goes native and assimilates with the bikers.
– What haven’t we seen? Hand-to-hand combat or fighting. There should be more karate moves during the time the motorcycle gang has Nancy captive.
– Tell us about the improvements that you have made. Given the brainstorming idea of “What haven’t we seen yet”, Nancy becomes a “sparring” partner for some of the members of the motorcycle gang when they capture Nancy and the kids. She shows her fighting skills until she is so fatigued, she can’t fight anymore.
Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
The motorcycle gang follows Nancy. Adrenaline Nancy drives along a blacktop road at a high rate of speed. Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Danger & Excitement Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. Fear At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck. Danger
The gang grabs Nancy by her hair and drags her out of the SUV. Danger, Fear They grab Sara and the kids and pull them out of the SUV. They tie them up with zip cords.
Nancy, Sara and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Danger Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hands. Adrenaline, Excitement
Machete flings her off of him and hits her in the head with the butt of a rifle. Adrenaline Fear & Death Blood trickles from both her ears. Sara is dead.
Nancy is furious. Adrenaline, Excitement She slips from her cable ties and runs to the SUV. Along the way, she uses karate chops, kicks and throws to keep the gang at bay. Adrenaline, Excitement She makes it to the SUV, puts it into reverse and backs over several bikers and their bikes. She pulls forward, opens the doors and gets the kids into the SUV. Adrenaline, Excitement
4. Add in more twists.
§ The motorcycle gang can’t ride their bikes in the sand. She loses the gang; becomes lost herself.
Plan Fails ==== Plan Succeeds
§ He sits in a World War I style trench in his dugout cubby hole. He’s visible tired, filthy, and appears to be malnourished. He hears a loud buzzer. He gets up, picks up his weapon and heads over the top then moves into to Deadman’s Land.
Safety ==== Danger
§ Nancy and the kids are lost. They pile into the SUV and start down a steep rock incline. She ends up on the main road and drives forward.
Plan Fails ==== Plan Succeeds
§ Tom’s scared; he hears a rumbling near him. He pulls his rifle close and removes the bayonet and holds it in his hand. Medics with red cross bands on their arm and on their helmet pick him up and put him on a stretcher and take him back to the US side.
Safety ==== Danger
§ Various gang members pull alongside the SUV and strike it with motorcycle chains. Nancy swerves to avoid the damage. At some point she drives off the road and becomes stuck.
Protected ==== Attacked
§ Nancy and the kids stand with their hands behind their backs. Machete walks to Nancy and slaps her in the face. Sara comes to her rescue. Sara has pulled her hands in front of her and climbs on top of Machete; chokes him with the cable tie that secures her hand.
No Support ==== Unexpected Support
Post the outline of this Action Set
Storyline. Prologue: Nancy and the kids are close to James’ farm. Their SUV is about on its last leg; with the simile “on a wing and prayer”. We see steam coming out of the radiator and a bent wheel rim. The motorcycle gang continuous their pursuit and assault on Nancy’s SUV.
They roar up to the vehicle and kick it with their feet, use motorcycle chains to flail the side of the truck, doing everything possible to force Nancy off the road so they recapture their prey.
Nancy, however, is still not ready to call it quits, especially when they are so close to the farm. As Nancy drives down the road, she sifts her knees to the steering wheel to steer the SUV; grabs her nine MM pistol from the car seat. She quickly holds the pistol in her hand and checks the clip; there are four bullets left.
She calls for Nikki. Nikki comes from the back of the SUV. She’s covered in shards of glass and carefully brushes the broken glass from her clothes; she is unharmed. Nancy gives her the pistol and tells her to shoot the gas tanks. Nikki leans against the upper edge of the rear seat as it folds up next to the front seats.
She spots a Harley Davidson Electro-Glide, a police vehicle in another life with police accouterment. The rider wears a police crash helmet. Nikki aims at the motorcycle through the SUV’s busted out rear window. BANG. She hits the motorcycle gas tank. Precious gasoline begins to spill out of the tank and on to the road.
The leaking gas spills onto the motorcycle’s exhaust pipe and catches in FIRE. The bike and rider immediately swerve of the road, into a ditch; the bike explodes. The rider appears to be unharmed.
Another biker riding a Harley Davidson Cruiser takes the place of Electro-Glide. Nikki takes aim at his motorcycle’s gas tank and FIRES. It explodes immediately and the biker flies off the motorcycle.
Nancy drives her SUV to the top of a hill; on the other side of the hill at the bottom is James’ farm. Only one lane of the road is open. The other lane is fenced along with the rest of the farm. A security checkpoint is at one end of the gate.
A biker roars up to Nancy’s SUV he has a sawed-off shotgun. He drives the bike, aims the shotgun at Nancy’s tires, and FIRES. The shotgun round rips into Nancy’s right rear tire. The SUV suddenly swerves to the right. Nancy throws herself onto the steering wheel and struggles to hold the SUV on the road. The SUV begins to fishtail then suddenly drives straight.
Out of nowhere a Molotov cocktail
explodes near the biker closest to the SUV.
The biker swerves to avoid the explosion and runs off the road. The bike hits the ditch and becomes
airborne. The biker flies in the
opposite direction. More Molotov cocktails fly through the air, explode on the
road and into bikes causing pandemonium.
Sparks fly from the wheel that had a flat tire; the rubber wore down to
the steel rim. -
[Action] Lesson 14: Writing Great Action Set Pieces
Subject line: Neil’s Great Action Set Piece!
What I learned doing this assignment is I have been wondering for a few years how RED with Bruce Willis could pack so much into every scene. I am starting to see how doing this and other lessons adds to each scene as writers comprehensively go over each scene with a different focus each time adding in little gems that keeps the audience interested, invested, and emotionally involved damn near every scene.
Title – Military Family Blues
Ambush scenes
1. Build in the meaning.
Pre-Action
— A local person calls the cartel office reporting the two Humvees have left the Army compound.
—The AF and Army are oblivious to any danger. Just enjoying a nice day before the Airmen leave.
—Cartel office sets up ambush and dispatches shooters.
Action
—Humvees are Ambushed
Post-Action
—Relief when the Black Hawks arrive .
—After being medivaced relief when Spouses are only in the hospital for observation back home.
2. Make the Action Unique.
STEP 1: List your 9 Places For Uniqueness.
-Environment-Honduras jungle
-Rules-Military protocol Air Force and Army working together and combat infantry.
-Villain-Cartel
-Mission-Relaxing day and some infantry and getting AF acclimated to the local area training.
-Struggle- US troops are foreigners in Honduras
-Unique Skillset-combat experience, sharpshooters
-Meaning-United States helping Honduras improve roads in country
-Allies-Air Force and Army
-Weapon-small arms
STEP 2: Use Strategies For Uniqueness to elevate them.
3. Create through the 9 Action Emotions.
-What if two American Humvees come under fire crossing a wide river without any warning?
-It is to an extreme because the American’s have no cover in the River and the river is wide but not deep.
-Samantha (Sam) of the characters is a marksmen that nobody knows she is that good.
-An RPG comes out of the jungle without warning and strikes the first Humvee disabling it.
-Go opposite Sam stands on the hood of the second Humvee leaving cover with no fear drawing out the RPG shooter into the open on the road. They stare each other down.
-Sam double-taps the RPG shooter just as he launches the RPG. It flies over Sam’s head by inches, singeing her hair.
What’s been added-
-Cartel informant.
-Cartel scramble
-American’s cluelessness
-Set up for the ambush
-Showdown between Sam and the RPG shooter.
4. Add in more twists. Can’t think of anything more yet
5. Rewrite by going back over Steps 1 – 4 to elevate it
77. EXT. HONDURAN DIRT ROAD WITH PIECED TOGETHER SMALL SHACKS – DAY
-Locals watch as the convoy drives by on their sightseeing trip, waving and being friendly. The locals brighten up and wave back.
-A local cartel member radios somebody. (Start building tension.)
(A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
78. INT. CARTEL HEADQUARTERS BUILDING – DAY
-Someone at a desk with a radio responds to a call.
-Then hurries to the big Boss. (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
79. INT. CARTEL BIG BOSSES OFFICE -DAY
-Knock on the door. Big Boss with other cartel leaders are all present. The Big Boss listens to the courier.
-Big Boss immediately springs into action, giving orders to attack the American Humvees. (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
80. EXT. CARTEL COMPOUND – DAY
-A swarm of bad guys with weapons are mobilized and jump into the back of a 2 ton truck with canvas cover and wood seats for the gaggle of bad guys to sit. The group’s Boss jumps in an SUV and follows out of the cartel compound. (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
81. EXT. AMERICAN HUMVEES WIND THEIR WAY DOWN THE DIRT ROADS – DAY
-With no sense of urgency, the Americans stop and take pictures of the jungle and shacks when no one is present and the small river they drive through.
(A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
82. DESTINATION SIDE OF THE RIVER – DAY
-Sitting in their truck, three cartel members listen to a handheld radio.
-Orders are being given orders in Spanish to set up the ambush. We hear they have RPGs. They are to shoot the first Humvee with an RPG when it gets to the center of the river. Stopping the convoy in the middle of the river.
-They are to keep the Americans under fire so they cannot advance, while the compound cartel members sneak up behind the Americans and waste them from the rear. (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
83. INT. HUMVEE – DAY
-Americans are enjoying the ride and tour. Joking with each other and their new Army friends as Humvee #1 enters the river. (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
84. INT. CARTEL TRUCKS SPEEDING ON DIRT ROADS – DAY
-The 2 Ton truck is screaming recklessly down the road kicking up dust with all the shooters in the back trying to breathe as they bounce around, barely able to stay seated.
-The Boss is following close behind. (A. 8, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
85. INT. HUMVEE #2 – DAY
-Everyone watching Humvee#1 slows down and stops, then stutters a little as the driver puts it into low four-wheel drive.
-Sam is watching closely as Humvee #1 eases into the river. The water is up to the bottom of the Humvee doors. Sam is tickled. She gets to do this.
-Sam puts the Humvee into four-wheel-drive low, following about 20 yards behind.
(A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
86. DESTINATION SIDE OF THE RIVER – DAY
-Almost comically, three cartel members are disorganized and cannot decide if they should blow their cover and stand out on the road to show the Americans who are going to kill them or keep their cover.
-The three cartel members are going out of their minds; they are so excited. In Spanish, they scream into the mike, “They are in the river… they are in the river!”
-The order comes back through the radio to hold on and not shoot until they are halfway through the river and DON’T MISS! (A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
87. EXT. MIDDLE OF THE RIVER – DAY
-(Key Scene) As the Humvees reach the halfway point in the river. Suddenly an RPG comes out from the bushes of the destination side of the river. It hits low on the front of the lead Humvee, damaging the front end badly.
-MSG Willis and Kennard are wounded badly. Bobo and Rojas are stunned and bleeding.
-The occupants of Humvee #2 leap out and spray the jungle with small arms fire. Causing the cartel members to hit the ground.
-Bill moves up to the damaged Humvee that is now smoking. Bill helps Bobo and Rojas get out of the Humvee as they come under heavy fire from small arms fire.
-Suddenly, a second RPG hits the first Humvee, almost knocking out Bill as he starts getting Willis out of the driver’s seat.
-Bill, somewhat dazed, pulls himself out of the river. He reaches in from the driver’s side door and flicks his SWITCHBLADE out, cutting the safety belt holding Willis.
-Sam runs over to help Bill float Willis to safety behind the burning Humvee. The others are firing wildly at the area where the RPGs are coming from.
-Bobo pries open the back of the mangled Humvee like a man possessed with superpowers, grabbing bloody and unconscious Kennard from the burning wreckage. Sam is behind the back corner of the Humvee, dragging Willis as Bill lets go and helps Bobo get Kennard out of the back of the Humvee.
-A third RPG hits below the front of the burning Humvee pushing the front end up trapping Sam underwater.
-Bobo and Bill immediately drop Kennard. Bobo, straining, puts all his energy into lifting the back end of the Humvee to free Sam. Bill is unable to get her out.
-Bobo tries again as Bill feverishly pulls on Sam. Suddenly she is free and floats to the surface, almost looking drowned. Suddenly she snaps too, sputtering and spits.
-She is pissed! She grabs her M-4 and jumps up on the hood of the second Humvee.
-The Cartel members see her crouching on the hood of the second Humvee.
-The smoke is getting thicker and swirling around Sam. She checks her magazine. She only has two rounds left. She slams the magazine into the M-4 and stands up. Tilting her head to one side and back again with extreme concentration.
-The RPG shooter sees her stand up, and he steps out into the middle of the road, smiling. He slowly lifts the RPG to aim right at Sam through the smoke swirling between them.
-Sam double taps the trigger and hits the RPG shooter right in the chest; just as he squeezes this trigger launching the RPG dead-on, heading right at Sam.
-Sam does not have time to duck it happen so quickly. The RPG flies over her head, singing her hair, and keeps going. (A. 9, B. 9, C. 9, D. 9)
88. EXT. CARTEL TRUCKS SPEEDING ON DIRT ROADS – DAY
-The 2 Ton truck approaches the river with the leader behind it. They do not see the rocket coming straight for them through the smoke of #1 Humvee.
-The rocket hits the 2-ton truck with all the cartel fighters. Lighting up the truck and the fuel tank on the truck and killing or injuring all the occupants.
-The Boss’s SUV almost runs into the back of the burning 2 Ton truck.
-The boss watches as his support team is devastated by his own RPG.
-He yells to his driver to turn around as they are pelted with M-4 fire from the Humvees. They just barely getaway. Catching fire from Rojas and Bobo as they seed away.
(A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
89. EXT. IN THE RIVER BETWEEN THE TWO HUMVEES – DAY
-Rojas and Hartman, when the trucks speeding toward them, suddenly explodes. They open fire on the SUV as it takes off.
-Freeman and Bobo were returning fire in the direction of the jungle where the small arms fire seemed to be coming from.
-Two cartel members in the bushes retreat.
-Suddenly quiet.
-Moments later, they hear something. Two Pave Hawk helicopters are inbound as the Army Quick Reaction Force arrives. They rejoice.
-Suddenly, two thunderous Helicopters swoop in and open up fire into the jungle around each side of the road. Then around the two-ton truck that was burning. -Freeman gets into Humvee #2 and talks to the helicopters. They split and cover both sides of the river as Quick Reaction Force quick rope down on both sides of the river and set up a perimeter.
-Bloody Sam jumps down and sprains her ankle. Bill gets dizzy and almost falls into the river holding his head.
-As the scene fades out, the quick reaction team quickly takes over.
(A. 5, B. 7, C. 7, D. 9)
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