Day 14 Assignments

[Phyllis Strong]

Phyllis Has Amazing Description

I learned from this assignment that the occasional description of an emotion or state of mind adds to the meaning of the script. I also learned that reveals can be placed in description, increasing the places for reveals to occur.

Before:

Not Special Agent SASHA LAMBERT (30), a fierce and articulate defender of all things environmental. Her mission to protect the planet consumes her.

She’s conspicuously alone in her cubicle, keeping out the world via her over-the-ear headphones. Intently watching a press conference on her laptop.

After (Character Intro)

The only person alone in her cubicle is Special Agent SASHA LAMBERT (30), who’s practical, relentless, and a fierce defender of our planet. She always keeps the world at bay with her over-the-ear headphones.

Right now Sasha’s watching a press conference on her laptop. Thoroughly engrossed.

Before:

She hands Zack a thumb drive. He inserts it into his laptop. Photos of two tankers come up, along with falsified data showing they both spilled oil into the Puget Sound at roughly the same time Delia’s tanker did.

After (Reveal):

She hands Zack a thumb drive. Puzzled, he inserts it into his laptop. Photos of two oil tankers come up. Beside them, falsified data showing they both spilled oil into the Puget Sound at roughly the same time as Delia’s tanker.

Before:

An animated Duncan is chatting up the lone DEPUTY (20s, folksy) left guarding the house, which is surrounded by “CRIME SCENE” yellow tape.

After (Reveal)

Duncan is chatting up the lone DEPUTY (20s) left guarding the house, which is surrounded by “CRIME SCENE” yellow tape. No sign of fire damage, but the front entry looks like a small bulldozer went through it.

[Marcus Wolf]

Lesson 14

Marcus Has Amazing Description

I learned a lot from this lesson about the best way to do description, but I also found the accompanying lecture to be particularly helpful. I’m very good at the basics, since I’ve read so many books on screenplay writing and written so many movie scripts. But there were always some questions I had about the real details of doing great description, and I think these lessons have really answered them.

I was able to go through my entire script and really clean up the descriptions.