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Day 14 Assignments
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Lesley’s Thriller Map vs. 1
What I learned: How to turn the original thriller map into scene descriptions so that I have a ‘bare bones’ outline of my plot.
THRILLER MAP vs. 1
1. EXT. FOCUS MAGAZINE LOBBY – DAY
All Los Angeles glam and gloss. Focus magazine covers float by on the giant display behind a striking-looking RECEPTIONIST.
2. INT. FOCUS OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
The opposite of glam. Dirty carpet, phosphorescent lights, general chaos. SAMANTHA REICHEK (Sam) is crammed into one of the overflowing cubicles when her phone rings.
3. INT./EXT. ETHAN’S OFFICE – LATER
Sam knocks on the Editor’s door and is waved in by ETHAN LONG. There’s tension between them; Ethan is very ‘handsy.’ Ethan assigns Sam to write a story on Christian Sparrow. Sparrow spent five years in prison for killing his wife when his life sentence was overturned after blood expert Justin Lambert in the trial plead guilty to tampering with evidence. Ethan gives Sam the name of Tracy Jenowitz, Sparrow’s attorney, and tells her to set up the interview.
4. INT. SAM’S HOME OFFICE – NIGHT
Sam is on her laptop, reading an article on the Sparrow trial. He was a successful investor before his arrest. Christian’s wife Nicole was having an affair with neighbor JOHN ROSSMOOR when she died — John was the initial suspect but he was never charged. Sam scrolls down, her eyes land on the heavily bearded face of CHRISTIAN SPARROW.
5. EXT. FREEWAY – DAY
A gray Subaru with Sam in the passenger seat, makes its way down the congested freeway. The car’s driver is Focus photographer BRIAN WASHINGTON. Brian implies that Sam is the wrong person for the assignment — Her brother Frank was killed in a prison fight after Martha turned him in for stealing money from her to buy drugs.
6. INT./EXT. VALLEY HOUSE – LATER
Brian parks the Subaru in front of a modest house with an old Ford in the driveway. TRACY JENOWITZ opens the front door, invites Sam and Bryan inside. They find CHRISTIAN SPARROW, working in the garden. He’s clean shaven now and has lost some of his prison bulk. Christian explains that the house belongs to an old college roommate who “owes him.” The interview goes well although Tracy appears to be very familiar and possessive with Christian.
7. INT. SAM’S HOME OFFICE – NIGHT
Sam looks up the owner of the Valley House. It belongs to “Rick Passero.”
8. INT. VALLEY HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
Christian sits at a battered desk with an ancient computer on top of it. He googles “Sam Reichek,” and discovers that Sam is from “old money,” has one daughter, a deceased younger brother, and no signs of a husband.
9. INT./EXT. VALLEY HOUSE – NIGHT
The doorbell rings and Christian opens it. Tracy struts in, throws down a copy of Sam’s positive article, and accuses Christian of flirting with Sam. He warns Tracy that he’s done with her — and, if she ever contacts him or Sam again, he’ll get Tracy disbarred for inappropriate sexual contact during the trial.
10. INTERCUT: SAM’S CUBICLE/VALLEY HOUSE GARDEN
Christian calls Sam, thanks her for the article, and invites her to lunch. She declines.
11. INT. SAM’S CUBICLE – DAY
Sam calls Christian back and accepts the lunch invitation. Brian disapproves and reveals that Sam’s brother Frank went to prison after Martha turned him in for robbing her to pay for drugs. He was killed in a prison fight.
12. EXT. MEXICAN FOOD TRUCK – DAY
Sam and Christian enjoy the “best burritos in Los Angeles.” The chemistry between the two is obvious.
13. INT. SAM’S CUBICLE – DAY
Sam gets an anonymous email warning her to stay away from Christian Sparrow.
14. INT. SAM’S CUBICLE – DAY
15. INT. /EXT. CAFÉ – DAY
Christian calls Sam at work, wants to see her again. Frightened by the email, she declines. Christian acts understanding, but when he hangs up, you see the anger in his face.
16. EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS – DAY
Christian follows Sam around town, studying her from the shadows.
17. INT./EXT. CINEMA – NIGHT
Christian “accidentally” runs into Sam at the movies.
18. EXT. CINEMA OUTDOOR CAFÉ – LATER
Sam and Christian have coffee. Sam tells Christian about the email. He tells her that a jealous Tracy sent it. Christian accuses Sam of thinking that he killed his wife and storms out.
19. INTERCUT – SAM’S BEDROOM/ VALLEY HOUSE BEDROOM – NIGHT
Christian call Sam to apologize. They talk intimately and the connection feels deep… After all, he’s been studying her. Soon, Sam and Christian are now talking every night. The conversations are getting flirty. Sam invites Christian to dinner at her house.
20. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
21. Sam and Christian talk and enjoy dinner, and soon, they’re making love – only to be interrupted when KELSEY REICHEK, Sam’s daughter, appears unannounced. It’s awkward and Christian leaves.
22. INT. SAM’S KITCHEN – MORNING
Sam and Kelsey fight. Kelsey accuses Sam of being desperate to sleep with Christian – she knows who he is because she read the interview. Sam learns that Kelsey, a college dropout, was fired from the boutique she worked in after berating a customer, and thrown out of her apartment for back rent.
23. INT. /EXT. MARTHA’S ESTATE – DAY
Sam and Kelsey visit MARTHA PHILLIPS, Sam’s mom, who is an alcoholic. Martha’s relationship with Sam is frosty but she adores Kelsey. When Kelsey tells Martha that Sam is screwing a murderer, Martha accuses Sam of doing it to get back at her for putting Frank in prison.
24. INT. SAM’S DINING ROOM – NIGHT
At dinner, Christian tries and fails to charm Kelsey who’s moved back in.
25. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – DAY
Christian is under the sink fixing a clogged grain when Sam comes home, tells him that she has to go out of town on an assignment. Sam leaves. Kelsey comes home and gets drunk with Christian. Christian finds out that Sam is broke because Sam refused her inheritance, and Kelsey is the one with money — At least, she will be in 6 months when she turns 21 and receives her trust fund money. They fall into bed – Sam’s bed – and have headbanging sex. Christian says he hates children.
26. INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
On assignment, Sam checks her email and finds a second anonymous email. This time it says Christian Sparrow is a serial killer. Stay away from him unless you want to be his next victim. “
27. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Sam returns from her trip. Both Christian and Kelsey are gone. Kelsey calls Sam: Kelsey and Christian have eloped.
28. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – DAY
A fight erupts when Kelsey comes to pick up her clothes. Sam wants to get the marriage annulled. Kelsey informs Sam that there’s no prenup.
29. INT. VALLEY HOUSE – DAY
Kelsey is on the phone with her grandmother and very agitated. She slams the phone down, tells Christian that her grandma is going to revoke Kelsey’s trust fund because of the marriage — and Kelsey won’t inherit a dime. Kelsey says she’d be better off if Martha died before she could change the trust … If Martha dies before Kelsey turned 21, Kelsey’s inheritance would become immediately available to her.
30. INT. MARTHA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Kelsey and Christian visit Martha at her mansion but it’s clear that she’s going to revoke the trust as soon as her attorney is back from vacation next week.
31. INT. VALLEY HOUSE BEDROOM – MORNING
Christian steps out of the shower. Kelsey informs him that she’s going to the gym.
32. INT./EXT. MARTHA’S MANSION – LATER
Christian breaks in, finds Martha passed out upstairs, an empty bottle of Scotch on her bed stand. He suffocates her with a pillow.
33. INT. FOCUS OFFICE – DAY
Sam is called into the conference room where Detective MISHA DIMITRI informs her that Martha is dead – the maid found her. An autopsy is underway. Sam is convinced that Christian killed Martha.
34. EXT. VALLEY HOUSE – LATER
Kelsey opens the front door. Sam walks in, tells Kelsey that Martha is dead and says Christian killed her. Kelsey asks her to leave.
35. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Detective Dimitri calls Sam, informs her that there’s no evidence of foul play in Martha’s death.
36. INT./EXT. CANYON HOUSE – DAY
A “SOLD” sign stands in front of spectacular. A brand new Porsche is parked in the driveway.
Christian opens the front door and carries Kelsey over the threshold. The make love in the living room with its breath-taking view of the ocean.
37. INT. TRACY’S OFFICE – DAY
Sam begs Tracy for help. Tracy apologizes but says she can’t help Sam.
38. EXT. FOCUS – DAY
Clive is sitting on a bench, eating a sandwich when Sam appears. She gives him Rick Passero’s address and asks Clive to find out how to reach him. She tells Clive that Passero is probably in his mid-thirties – early forties and may have gotten into trouble in college.
39. INT. SAM’S CUBICLE – LATER
Sam gets an unexpected call from Tracy who tells her to talk to Justin Lambert, the incarcerated blood expert found guilty of evidence tampering – Lambert, who pleaded guilty, had always maintained that he didn’t manipulate the blood evidence in the Sparrow trial.
40. INT. ETHAN’S OFFICE – LATER
Sam informs Ethan that she’s taking time off to arrange Martha’s funeral.
41. INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM – DAY
Sam meets with Justin Lambert. He assures her that he never messed with the evidence in the Sparrow case – He didn’t have to; Sparrow was guilty as hell.
42. EXT. CHRISTIAN’S OLD NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Sam studies the upscale house where Nicole Sparrow died. HOLLY RANIER, the neighbor across the street, walks over… tells Sam that, shortly before Nicole died, she’d heard Christian and Nicole fighting over Nicole’s pregnancy – Christian wanted her to get an abortion. Holly points to the house next to Christian’s – it’s where John Rossmoor, Nicole’s suspected lover, lives. John is a librarian at the Ridgestone Public Library in the Valley, but she thinks it’s his day off.
43. EXT. ROSSMOOR HOUSE – LATER
Sam rings the doorbell and JOHN ROSSMOOR opens it a crack. When she starts to introduce herself, he tells her that he knows who she is. She tells him that she knows that he’s the one whose been sending the anonymous emails. John smiles then closes the door.
44. INT. SAM’S CUBICLE – DAY
Clive sticks his head in. He’s tracked down Rick Passero: He’s 71 years old and living at Sunrise Assisted Living in Bakersfield.
45. INT. SUNRISE ASSISTED LIVING – DAY
Sam meets with Rick Passero who has Stage 4 lung cancer. When she asks how he knows Christian, Rick explains that Christian Sparrow is his son Christopher Passero – “Passero” means “Sparrow” in Italian.
46. INT. SAM’S HOME OFFICE – NIGHT
Sam googles “Christopher Passero” — discovers that he was engaged to Cecelia Meza who went missing and was never found.
47. EXT. DINER – NIGHT
Sam sits at a wooden table across from waitress OLIVIA MEZA. Olivia tells Sam that daughter Cecelia was pregnant when she disappeared. No charges were made, but Olivia’s convinced that “Chris” killed her because she was pregnant. Olivia also reveals that when Chris was seven, he ‘accidentally’ killed his newborn brother because he was jealous of the attention the infant was getting.
48. INT. FANCY RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS
Kelsey and Christian finish ordering. Kelsey toasts Christian, tells him that he’s going to have a son. Christian, enraged, tells her to “Get rid of it,” and walks out of the restaurant, leaving her stranded.
49. INT. CANYON HOUSE – LATER
Christian and Kelsey have an enormous fight. When Kelsey walks away, Christian grabs her by the arm, spraining it.
50. INT. POLICE STATION CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Sam meets with Det. Dimitry, tells him everything she’s found out and says he needs to arrest Christian. He tells her that there’s no reason to arrest Christian.
51. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Kelsey comes over, arm in a sling, and hysterical… She tells Sam that she’s pregnant and Christian is furious. Kelsey confesses that she thinks Martha is dead because she wished it. Sam begs Kelsey to stay with her but Kelsey goes home.
52. INT. GUN STORE – DAY
Sam buys a small pistol. There’s a 10-day waiting period before she can take the gun home.
53. INT. CANYON HOUSE MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT
In the middle of the night, Christian stumbles in, drunk and belligerent. Kelsey accuses him of screwing around, says she’s going to divorce him. He tells her to go ahead; California is a “No Fault” divorce state and he’s entitled to fifty percent of Martha’s money.
54. INT. SAM’S HOUSE – DAY
Sam opens the door and Kelsey rushes in. She tells Sam that she’s afraid Christian is going to kill her and the unborn baby. After Kelsey promises to lock the doors and not leave the house, Sam retrieves the gun she bought and leaves.
55. INT. CANYON HOUSE – LATER
Christian opens the front door. Sam walks in.
56. INT. CANYON HOUSE LIVING ROOM – LATER
Sam confronts Christian with everything she knows and tells him that she’s going to the police. When he approaches, she draws the gun on him but Christian knocks it out of her hand, starts choking her. Kelsey walks in. Christian throws Sam against the wall and she collapses. He goes after Kelsey but she manages to get a hold of the gun and points it at him. Christian lunges at Kelsey and Kelsey shoots him in the leg. Christian is in pain and immobilized. Sam finds her phone, is dialing “911” when she hears the second shot: Kelsey has just killed Christian in cold blood.
SEVEN YEARS LATER:
57. INT. CANYON HOUSE – POOLSIDE – DAY
Kelsey is throwing a party to celebrate Sam’s promotion to Editor (Ethan was fired for sexual harassment) and son DANNY’s seventh birthday. Danny, who looks like a young Christian, is indifferent when Kelsey gives him a tiny puppy with a big bow around its neck… In fact, he seems indifferent and superior to everything that’s going on. Later, Danny unsuccessfully tries to drown a smaller kid, and gets caught trying to light the puppy’s tail on fire… Kinda makes you wonder if Danny is a psychopath like his father.
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THRILLER ASSIGNMENT DAY 14
Alfred’s Thriller Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is:
Yes! This is much easier to follow and to write scenes around.
I feel ready to expand the map and begin writing. I already have a lot of new ideas to work with.
READABLE THRILLER MAP VERSION 1
Status Quo: Spencer goes high mountain fishing.
Twist 1: On his return, Spencer stumbles onto four mutilated dead bodies and becomes embroiled in an investigation.
Clue 1: The bodies are mutilated and partially desiccated.
Mystery 1: Who or what did this? Human(s). Wild animal(s)?
Trust: Spencer calls his superior, Russell, from a lodge, just outside the area. Russell tells him to stay put. The two men have known each other for several years, so he obeys.
Life Threatening: The killer(s) could be anyone, anywhere.
Misdirection 1: The focus is on Aliens and mythology.
Intrigue 1: The lodge owner, Elyne Bonet, is full of stories of mythological creatures and Aliens. She seems nervous, odd, and has three huge dogs on her little “farm.”
Clue 2: The dogs are going wild at Spencer’s presence. Could they have killed those men?
Distrust: Spencer does not trust this woman or her dogs.
Twist 2: Russell repeats Elyne’s stories of Aliens and mythical creatures, from the town’s people at the base of the mountain.
Clue 3: Russell’s willingness to pass-off the story as mythical, regardless of his reasons, confuses Spencer, causing Spencer to double-down on his getting serious. Why is Russell doing this?
Distrust: Spencer’s trust in Russell is under question.
Twist 3: Spencer’s objections are off-putting to Russell, which only deepens Spencer’s questions.
Mystery 2: Spencer cannot recall seeing any wounds that would spell murder
Mystery 3: Spencer questions the fence around the area where the bodies were found, marked off as Endangered Species Habitat.
Twist 4: The mutilated bodies, Spencer recalls, did not show typical weaponry wounds.
Misdirection 2: The focus changes to Elyne.
Mystery 4: Who is this Elyne Bonet woman? Where did she come from?
Intrigue 2: Why is she telling these weird stories? Is she crazy or just odd?
Distrust: Spencer’s distrust of Elyne grows. There is still the question of her dogs.
Distrust: The more Russell buys into Elyne’s stories, the more Spencer is alarmed.
Suspense 2: Is Spencer and Russell in danger from this woman?
Twist 5: In an attempt to gain Spencer’s trust, Elyne introduces him to her dogs. They’re just huge pussycats.
Reveal 1: The dogs are not good evidence for having caused the killings.
Trust: Spencer’s distrust of Elyne softens.
Twist 6: As Spencer’s distrust of Elyne softens, Russell’s seems to harden.
Clue 4: Elyne claims she has an iron-clad alibi. Russell questions it, but clings to her stories.
Misdirection 3: The focus changes, again, but this time to wild animals.
Twist 6: It seems unlikely that Elyne or her dogs played any role in the killings.
Trust: Spencer, for the moment, believes that she is innocent.
Twist 7: Russell seems irritated by Spencer’s easing up on Elyne. Orders Spencer to quit trying to solve the mystery.
Distrust: Spencer’s about had it with Russell,
Twist 8: The coroner does not buy into a wild animal attack
Revel: The coroner sys the evidence looks more like murder.
Mystery: What would cause such wounds
Intrigue: Could the coroner be right about some sort of bomb or bomb-like device?
Twist 9: Russell can’t get the coroner to change his mind, still favors “wild animals.”
Distrust: Spencer is wondering what is wrong with Russell.
Reveal: Spencer discovers that Russell requestioned a lot of fence wire.
Clue 5: There was an earthquake a couple of weeks ago, and the epicenter was exactly where both the fence and the murders took place.
Twist 11: Everything seems twisted and convoluted, and Spencer is thoroughly confused.
Clue 6: Elyne says that her pack station is the only one within reach of the death zone.
Reveal: Spencer discovers another pack station on the other side of the mountain that is a close or closer to the murder zone as Elyne’s.
Distrust: Why did Elyne not know this? Did she not know, truly, or is she lying? Why?
Twist 12: Spencer once again begins to question Elyne. Is she covering for Russell?
Distrust: Spencer’s distrust of Elyne returns. Along with his growing distrust of Russell.
Misdirection: The focus returns to Elyne and some possible relationship between her and Russell.
TURNING POINT 1: Spencer returns to his suspicions about Elyne, her dogs, and her relationship to Russell
Twist 13: Russell orders Spencer to cease and desist his investigations.
Misdirection: Russell turns on Elyne, suggests it was some sort of revenge killing with her well-trained “killer dogs.”
Twist 14: Russell now favors Spencer’s version of what happened, and Elyne becomes furious with both Spenser and Russell.
Midpoint Twist: Spencer is forced to suspect Russell, now, instead of Elyne
Turning Point 2: Spencer has Russell backed into a corner. He is clearly the suspect, but why? It doesn’t matter. Russell comes after Spencer, loaded for bear, and Spencer has to run for his life.
ETC.
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Budinscak Thriller Map Version 1 – Day 14
What I learned Doing This Assignment:
o I actually have a workable outline!
o If not for the examples, I would have had a tougher time converting to a readable format.
o I see some holes in my story – and it’ll be much easier to fix here than with a 100+ page script.
Thriller Map Version 1
INT – CAVE – NIGHT
A bruised, exhausted Vicki – our hero – collapses at the feet of a robotic animal.
INT – HELICOPTER – DAY
The Commander – our villain – and two henchmen quietly discuss their mission while the Pilot tries desperately to join the conversation. The trio review internet videos of local UFO sightings. The Commander stresses the secrecy of their mission as he points to two different drones following outside. The Commander comments, “I hope they’re ours.” The Pilot questions, “Who else could it be?”. “Theirs” is all the villain says.
The Commander pulls out a hi-tech collar, “This will tell us if it’s human or not?”. The Pilot smiles and asks what branch of the government the trio work for? The Commander smiles when answering, “We’re not here.”
EXT – RANGER STATION – DAY
Carrying sleeping bags to a hut, Vicki stops as she watches one of the drones leave the helicopter and zip straight up out of sight. Behind her Karen, her supervisor, pushes her forward. Karen’s a bit of a bully, but Vicki lets the comments roll right off her shoulders. Karen leads Vicki back to the station.
INT – RANGER STATION – DAY
There’s a small party for Vicki – it’s her one-year anniversary as a Forest Ranger. Karen comments to Vicki that she may be late tomorrow. If she is, it’s Vicki’s responsibility to lead the Girl Scout event – nature walk – scheduled for the morning. ‘those brats are nasty, you won’t like it.’ “No problem” says Vicki. The helicopter pilot attends and mentions the three strange government types he dropped off near a closed mine. Karen listens intently.
INT – JEEP – DUSK
On her way home, Vicki’s attention is drawn to a flying object on her left and she’s momentarily blinded by what appears to be a lazar beam. The UFO spooks a herd of deer that run into the road. Just when Vicki’s senses return, she has to take a hard turn to avoid the fleeing deer – Vicki crashes her jeep in a ditch. Nothing with a chip works – the jeep won’t start, the radio and cell phones have no service. Vicki starts walking.
EXT – ROAD – NIGHT
While walking in the middle of the road, Vicki checks her cell phone – nothing. She hears something following her in the woods, but she doesn’t see anything. Vicki picks up her pace. A HOWL – wolves. She sprints towards trees and quickly scurries up one.
The wolves run by her and approach a small bush. Vicki watches the wolves circle the bush, not hunting, but protecting, before they howl and leave. Vicki shimmies down the tree and approaches the bush. She finds two exotic kittens. A whirring noise above catches Vicki’s attention. She watches a drone fly into an abandoned mine. Vicki fabricates a make-shift sling, grabs the kittens – she cannot leave them behind – and walks to the opening of the mine shaft.
EXT – MINE SHAFT – NIGHT
Intentionally hidden under tree limbs off the road, Vicki finds Karen’s new truck. Vicki enters the mineshaft.
INT – MINE SHAFT – NIGHT
With her cell phone still inoperable, Vicki uses her Girl Scout training to make a torch that she brings with her. For light, she has a portable flashlight – a girl scout is always prepared – and sneaks into the mine.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
The Commander and his team confront the Site Ops Manager about who’s in charge, what’s going to happen and the timing of it. No question the Commander has the upper hand – the project will disappear by tomorrow morning. Everything associated with the project will be gone by the end of the day. It’s as if it never existed.
With kittens in tow, Vicki descends an old rotted ladder. Half way down, a few steps break and Vicki drops to the ground. A security system is activated in the mine office showing infrared images of three warm bodies – Vicki and the felines.
INT – CAVE – NIGHT
Vicki finds a light switch … and the lights work. Why? The mine has been ‘officially’ closed for the past 20 years. Vicki sees flashlights and hears footsteps approaching as she scampers ahead, trying to conceal herself in a shallow doorway. A hand wraps around her mouth and drags her into a small room. Two men rush by.
Red loosens his hand over Vicki’s mouth. Vicki asks who he is and Red lies. He says he’s an escaped camper, but Red is actually the drone pilot and techie nerd from the original site team. He tells Vicki what direction to travel safely, and as soon as Vicki disappears, Red disappears through a hidden door.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
Red carries his drone to the office, unaware of the regime change. The Commander calls Red out for exposing the mission. Red says he’s been given clearance by the highest echelons of Homeland Security. Red declares ‘these products are for the border patrol’. The Commander laughs off his claim – ‘you use these on … people?’. They counter back and forth – the Site Manager chimes in – but the Commander will not bend. Red will be punished for his unauthorized drone flights, especially those caught recorded/posted on the internet.
To save his ass, Red provides the Commander with info he doesn’t have – the intruder’s Vicki – ID and whereabouts. The Commander instructs Red to show his arsenal of ‘homeland security tools’. Red picks a specially outfitted drone and upgraded robotic animal. There’s another, but it’s not been tested. It will be a last resort.
INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Vicki comes around a corner, stumbling upon a makeshift prison with both human and animal captives. Humans – 4 campers and Karen. Karen…. what? Animals – mountain lion, bobcat and an exotic house cat. Empty animal cages are strewn about. Vicki stashes the kittens before helping to free Karen and the campers. Only one camper is freed before Vicki’s pursuers return.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
The Commander and others watch the pursuit unfold on the security system screens. Red preps the drone and robotic dog. He pilots the drone and sets the dog in search of Vicki.
INT – CAVE – NIGHT
Vicki and the camper do their best to elude the search team, but they catch up. Vicki escapes, but the camper is shot. Vicki stays with him for a brief time before the camper tells her to save herself. She leaves, but it’s not easy.
INT – MINE SHAFT – NIGHT
The drone flies effortlessly through the tunnel, dodging all obstacles. The robotic dog works slowly through the rough, pitted mine shaft floor. Once the dog hits a tunnel, its speed improves dramatically.
Vicki circles back to save the kittens. She’s chased down the tunnel by the drone. Vicki leaps over a large hole, but doesn’t make it completely across. She rolls down the hill and is hurt. A bruised, exhausted Vicki takes a few steps and collapses at the feet of a robotic animal. This is the opening scene.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
The Commander’s two men sift through data and videos seeking specific information on UFOs. They secure a few examples – internet UFO and odd animal sightings – and delete the rest. Stuff that’s scheduled for disposal is piled on a cart they take when they leave.
The Commander waits for the other guards to bring the pesky intruder to the office. The Commander interrogates Vicki viciously. When he’s satisfied with her answers, he and his men leave. Red wanders in and opens the locks keeping Vicki in a chair. She hobbles out the door to escape.
INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
The Commander listens to the campers’ plea to be released, but his attention is drawn to the animals. He strolls to the exotic cat’s cage and gets an unexpected response – the cat comes over purring. The mountain lion and the bobcat react the same way. The Commander speaks softly to the cat. The Site Manager enters – the exotic cat hisses, the lion and bobcat follow suit. The Site Manager claims one of the prisoners is an alien that changed into either human or animal form. The Commander produces his hi-tech collar and they try it on the campers and Karen, the collar doesn’t work. The Commander, Site Manager and Commander’s two men exit.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
The Commander’s men return with an empty cart. The Commander asks Red what happened to Vicki – and Red tells him he felt sorry for her and let her go. The Commander pulls out a gun and shoots Red on the spot. The Commander’s men place Red’s body on the cart.
INT – DEEP MINE – NIGHT
Commander’s men dump Red’s body on top of the trash heap targeted to be buried.
INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Vicki slowly makes her way to the place she stashed the kittens. She stops many times listening to hear if she’s being followed. After a while she finds the exotic kittens – they seem larger. She places them in her protective sling and makes her way back to the makeshift prison.
INT – DEEP MINE – NIGHT
The Commander’s men bring their final load to the destruction site. They set a time for the explosives before leaving. They never notice Red’s body has been half-eaten.
INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Vicki releases all the human prisoners. She helps Karen to her feet and has her lead the campers to safety. After they leave, Vicki opens the animal cages, unafraid of the two large cats. The kittens jump from the sling and nuzzle the exotic cat. The mountain lion and bobcat exit quietly.
Site Manager bursts through the door, gun in hand. Vicki instinctively scoops up the three cats and wraps her body around them. The Site Manager gets off one shot before the Commander subdues him. Vicki is seriously wounded.
INT – MINE OFFICE – NIGHT
Commander places Vicki on top of the desk. She dies. The Site Manager shows no remorse when he states ‘she needed her spirit broken’. The Commander wraps the collar around the exotic cat’s neck, and the alien General Gato appears. Imagine an upright walking 6-legged tiger. The Site Manager cowers in the background.
The alien restores Vicki’s life, but with a twist. Her life has two beings living in one body – spirit and flesh. Vicki can extract her animalistic spirit whenever she desires. She rips apart the rest of the Site Manager’s team leaving him as the last one standing. She has the rest of the alien team convert and take the Site Manager with them – just in case they get bored on the way home.
In one bright explosion – everything disappears – the Commander, his men, the converted cats and the Site Manager. There’s no tract at all – they simply disappeared leaving no trace of their existence.
EXT – MOUNTAIN PATH – NIGHT
The new and improved Vicki overtakes Karen and the campers. The campers notice the glowing eyes high in a tree. The spirit zips down and merges with Vicki as she emerges from the darkness. Everyone notices the difference in Vicki and Karen is intimidated. Karen tells Vicki she’s ill and Vicki will have to cover for her tomorrow with the girl scout event. Vicki’s eyes glow unnaturally and Karen stumbles backwards.
EXT – FOREST RANGER STATION – DAY
Noticeably different, Vicki leads the Girl Scout event. Whatever it is, it shows in her gait, her posture and especially her eyes. A man enters the scout territory unannounced, he is met by a vision of Vicki’s spirit side. He spins around and quickly exits.
Vicki holds out her hand – an eagle lands gently on her unshielded arm.
The scouts cheer – they love Forest Ranger Vicki.
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Assignment 14
Subject line: Pat Galbraith’s readable Thriller Map
“What I learned is: It’s easier to locate where clues and misdirect go with an outline before completing the in entire script.
OPENING
Ext. Dirt Rd – Day
Two young boys bicycling on a dirt road through the woods come upon three bodies in a dump area.
They are so scared they run home to tell their parents.
Int. Bar and Grill – Night
Terry Holder having a drink in a bar. Gets the news “His brothers are missing.” Why?
Int. John George home – Day
The detectives interview the main suspect – John George. He’s belligerent with the detective. Why?
Ext. Searching Area -Day
Mr. Favors passes out food to the searchers to appear to be a nice guy.
Ext. Terry talks to neighbor’s – Day
The neighbors he interviews give John George a bad name.
He learns that John George has served time in prison for killing deer out of season and bringing them across state lines.
EXT. DOWNTOWN STREET – DAY
Terry notices poster’s hanging all over town advertising to buy property in the area.
EXT. SEARCH FIELD – DAY
In admiration the detective smiles at Favors for working with them.
EXT. YARD – DAY
Detective finds blood in John George’s truck and calls lab to come take a sample.
EXT. YARD – DAY
Lab workers come to take sample tell detective they get it back soon as they can.
EXT. LAB – DAY
Lab reports back to detective. Blood is from a deer.
· TURNING POINT 1
INT. TERRY’S MOTHER’S HOME – DAY
After discussions with his Mother Terry realizes that he must take over finding the killer.
EXT. JOHN GEORGE’S HOME -DAY
John George is not home, but he’s son is. Terry tries to talk to the boy. Terry gets angry when he becomes belligerent like his father did.
Terry believes he is hiding something.
EXT. NEAR MR. FAVORS SHED – DAY
Mr. Favors catches the boy looking around his shed.
EXT. HWY NEAR FREEWAY – NIGHT
That night the son is found dead in his car.
INT. JOHN’S HOME – DAY
John George calls Terry to discuss his son.
He thinks Terry killed his son.
EXT. CITY STREET -DAY
· Terry talks with John George on the street. A fight breaks out. (Both men believe lies) MIDPOINT
· EXT. JOHN GEORGE’S YARD – DAY
· John George is shot in his yard by a drive by.
· EXT. HWY DAY
· detective and Terry are run off the road by a black sedan.
· INT. JAIL – DAY
· John George’s son is brought in and interrogated.
· TURNING POINT 2:
· INT. TERRY’S HOME -DAY
· Terry gets a tip that the ATVS may be in Mr. Favors storage shed.
· CLIMAX:
· EST. FAVORS SHED – DAY
· The ATVS were found in the storage shed. Mr. Favors was arrested after a standoff.
· EXT. JAIL – DAY
· Mr Favors brought into jail finally confess. As Terry walks down the steps at the jail. A black sedan drives by Mrs. Favors is driving.
· Terry stares in disbelief.
RESOLUTION:
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
· John George was released from the hospital.
· INT. TERRY’S FAMILY HOME – DAY
· Terry’s family got some closure.
· INT. JAIL – DAY
· John George was released on the charges of poaching after his longtime friend confessed
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OPENING: Lure us into the story and introduce the lead character in action.
1. These boys were 12 and 13 years old.EXT – WOODS – DAY </div>
Keith (with a black eye) is out hunting in the woods with Jack and Gabe. The mood is tense. Three boys are walking in the woods, lighting a cigarette. Jack sees the boys but the boys don’t see him. Jack tells Gabe and Keith to be quiet.
2. INT – HOME KITCHEN – DAY
Heather is home making dinner with her mother Barbara. There are harvest decorations and they are drinking wine. Barbara tells Heather she’s going to go take a shower and walks off. Heather he’s someone scuffling at the door. She goes to the door and swings it open aggressively. Standing there looking up is Keith. He’s covered in blood.
3. INT HOME BATHROOM – DAY
Keith is taking a shower. Cleansing himself from whatever killings he took part in that day. He gets out of the shower and is finally calming down from the day. Keith’s dad Joe barges in and says
“You tracked blood in on my carpets boy.” Keith looks shocked and then looks down and quietly says “I’m sorry sir.” Joe says “What’s that I didn’t hear you?” Keith looks at him and says into him “I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen again”. Joe says “You’re goddamn right it won’t happen again” and starts hitting him. “I paid good money for those carpets. To have you ruin them with your carelessness.” and keeps hitting him in the side of the head. “Gotta watch pretty boys face so his momma don’t have to put no more make up on it.” WHACK “Isn’t that right pretty boy?” WHACK. Keith is trying to hold the towel up and fight back and he’s crying out. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” Joe pushes him down into the corner. Keith crumples up in the corner, a battered mess. Joe says “Think about why this happened” a beat. “and clean that deer”.4. EXT – BACK PATIO – NIGHT
Joe is cooking deer on a grill. Keith is looking sullen. Barbara and Heather are talking. Barbara “I don’t know, I just don’t like any of the boys at my school. They’re all so immature.” Barbara says “I met your daddy in college” while looking at Joe and then looks at Heather with a “hmm, maybe you’re right look. Heather says “I just like talking to men a little bit older, who have something to give, you know?” Barbara looks at her warily. Keith says “Yeah, she likes Beau.” Joe turns around and says “i’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that..” To Heather “you know how I feel about that freak.” Heather in a very sweet tone “Oh daddy, you don’t have anything to worry about.” Joe says “I know darlin’. You’re too smart to get mixed up with any losers.” and looks at Keith. Keith gives Heather a look and Barbara is watching them both.
5. INT – DINER – DAY
There are people eating breakfast and having coffee at a diner. A newspaper says “BOYS IN THE WOODS MURDERED IN SATANIC RITUAL” A man is talking to another man. “Can you believe this shit? Satanic ritual?” The waitress says in a scared, secretive way “Those boys were only 12 and 13 years old.” The other man, Keith’s father Joe, sitting at the counter looks at the newspaper, takes a sip of coffee and says “The Judge will sort this out.” The waitress comes over and says “Do you think it has anything to do with that Beaumont boy… or… The Company?” and Joe says “Like I said… The Judge will sort this out.” At that The Judge walks by and says “Sort what out, Joe?” They all look like they’ve been caught red handed. The waitress holds up the newspaper. The Judge responds “Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I’ve got some calls to make. Excuse me folks.” And puts a hand on Joes shoulder and walks curtly out the door. The man sitting at the counter says “If you ask me, it’s all the better reason to keep our kids in The Program. Least that way they’re protected.” Joe nods. The Waitress says “My kids won’t be alone anytime soon, I can tell you that much.”
6. EXT – BEHIND A WAREHOUSE – DAY
Keith is out back at his job at the fish farm, shooting vermin. The Sheriff rolls up in a truck and gets out. He walks over to Keith, his hand on his gun. Keith’s hands never drop his gun either. The Sheriff says “Hey Keith how ya doin’?” Keith “I’m alright.” and shoots towards the ground. The Sheriff “You hear about those boys murdered in those woods this weekend?” Keith “Yeah, I heard.” The Sheriff “I heard you might have been out in those woods huntin’?” Keith “Nope, we were out in the opposite direction, out on The Judge’s property out of county”. The Sheriff “Well if you hear anything about what happened to those kids, you let me know.” Keith “You gonna guarantee my safety?” The Sheriff “How’s that?” Keith “If I were to find something out and I wanted to tell you… Could you guarantee my safety?” The Sheriff thinks for a minute and says (in a way that implies Keith’s guilt) “Well, it depends on what you told me.” Keith “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
7. INT – GROCERY STORE – DAY
Keith and Gabe are walking in a grocery store, looking for things. They pass the special kids teacher Laura. She is a strikingly beautiful woman. The boys in unison “Hi Ms. Peterson” Laura, looking at them both for a second longer than she should.. Laura “Oh hi boys. And it’s just Laura” The boys look bashful. Keith says “How’s the school year going this year Laura? Is it easier now you don’t have to deal with Heather?” Laura smiles “That was an interesting class.. It’s going ok… But the year is fresh, we’ll see…” And winks at Keith. Looks to both Keith and Gabe “Gentlemen” The boys are both flummoxed and tripping over themselves. Laura saunters off.
8. INT – HOME KITCHEN – NIGHT
Barbara “Daddy had to work late tonight, so it’s just us…” Barbara looks around to Keith and Heather a little seriously. They all break out smiling, with Keith a little later and his smile much smaller. Heather says ‘Let’s do it”. And Barbara says “Oh… Keith do you want to?” Keith says “yeah mom, whatever you want.” Barbara gives him a quizzical look and looks at Heather who is looking at Barbara expectedly. Barbara gives in. CUT TO Barbara and Heather are making noodles and cooking a big pot of macaroni and cheese. Barbara and Heather are talking about the Boys in the Woods murders. Keith just watches, fidgeting with a hunting knife. Barbara “I heard someone today say it could’ve been Beau… It was out near his land.” Heather, extremely indignant. “Mom!” Barbrara “Well, I’m just saying, he’s all alone up there in the woods. We know he grows weed… and blows up bombs. Who knows what else he does?” Heather “He wouldn’t do that mom!” Barbara “But how do you know?” Keith looks up finally “Yeah Heather, how would YOU know?” Heather is defensive “I just do. It had to be a serial killer or something.” Keith “What if I could tell you exactly who did it?” Barbara “Then I’d say we need to call the Sheriff and go get ’em” Keith “I’m just kidding momma, I don’t know who did it.” Looks at Heather. “Must’ve been a serial killer.” Joe walks in Barbara’s attention goes to him. Heather is still looking at Keith like she knows he knows something and isn’t saying.
9. EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
Beau is out lurking around in the woods in camo, using night vision to set and check booby traps on his property. The Sheriff is watching him from up higher with his own pair of high powered night vision binoculars. He sees Beau lurking around and The Sheriff says “What are you up to now Beaumont?” to himself. Beau sneaks off into the woods.
10. INT – SIDE ROOM OF CHURCH – DAY (BUT NO WINDOWS)
Keith is talking to Jack. Jack “What’s been going on Keith? Where’d you get that 2nd set of bruises?” Keith “Same place I got the first one.” Jack “I see… You know, I went to school with your dad. He always was a bully. But I know how to handle bullies. Want me to talk to him for you?” Keith looks up at Jack and says “Yeah, you better talk to him… (false bravado) otherwise I’m liable to kill him myself one of these days” Jack “Ok. Ok. I’ll straighten him out for you there killer.” Keith looks ashamed. Jack “Anybody ask you about those boys in the woods?” Keith “Yeah, the Sheriff… and my mom and Heather were talking about it.” Jack “Who all do they think did it?” Keith “Sheriff didn’t say. My mom thinks it was Beau. Heather thinks it was a serial killer.” Jack “Good. Good.”
11. INT – MAIN ROOM OF CHURCH – DAY
Jack’s kids are meeting for The Program. They are getting ready to go on a campout in the woods at his father The Judge’s property. Jack is asking if everyone has what they need and ribbing some of the boys good-naturedly.
INCITING INCIDENT: An event that propels the Hero on the Journey.
12. INT – CHURCH – DAYJack is giving a sermon to a packed town church. Jack is speaking with great intensity and fervor. He closes his sermon by performing a trick where fire appears to come from the palms of his hands and he says “All who come before him are purified by his light and love!” The congregation is blown away. “Ooohs and Ahhhhs come from the crowd.” Jack transitions and says “Now before we part, I have one last announcement. The council and I have met and we have chosen two boys among you to come into The Order this year. Those boys are Keith Hawks and Gabe Ward. The boys look proud but also embaressed. Their families are beaming. Jack “Come on up here boys and take your place next to me up here.” The boys, urged on by their parents, get up and go to where Jack is, slowly but surely. They come up to him and both look up. Jack winks at them and turns them around. Jack “I give you the two newest inductees into The Order. The congregation breaks out in applause. Now their families are really beaming. There is a man giving Jack a dirty look. It appears his son has been left out. Jack returns the man’s gaze.
13. INT – STRIP CLUB – NIGHT
Several men in varying degrees of nice clothes are out having drinks and lap dances at a strip club. The Judge is there with them. After several rounds of drinks, lines of blow and cigars the women begin taking the men into the back rooms. A stripper asks the Judge if he wants to go back. The Judge smirks and replies “You must be new here.” She looks confused and he exits the club, exiting the doors in slow motion, smoking a cigarette and flicking it just as he’s walking through the frame. It looks like a scene where he could be flicking a cigarette into a gas pile to ignite something, except we never see an explosion.
14. EXT – CLEARING IN THE WOODS – DUSK
Slow motion montage of Keith, Gabe and several other boys training on a variety of hardcore weapons at The Judge’s compound. There are weapons everywhere. It is a veritable fortress. The Judge and Jack are overseeing them. There are machine guns, rocket launcher, detonated bomb, drone with a gun, poison.
15. INT – BUSINESSES AND HOMES – NIGHT
Montage of Jack going in to several businesses and homes and in a reverse of the mafia tradition, giving the people envelopes of money. One of the people is Keith’s dad Joe, behind his big rig truck. All of the people shake his hand and hug him warmly. The last one says, come by any time. Jack says “Oh I will. Thanks.”
16. EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
Jack is having Keith, Gabe and the boys dig graves. They are deep into the graves now. Jack says “You ever tell anyone what happens in The Order and you go into one of these. Or we kill your family and tell everyone you did it.” The boys look shocked and terrified. They keep digging slowly. Jack “You’re one of us now. The only way you leave is through that dirt. Remember that.” When the boys are sufficiently scared Jack throws them their robes and masks and tells them to get out of the graves and meet him by the fire.
17. INT – BEAU’S HOUSE OUT IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
There is loud music coming from a compound looking house out in the woods. There is weed growing, drying and packaged everywhere. Along with many anti-authority artwork on the walls. Beau is deep in thought perfecting something with a chemistry set. Heather is walking through booby traps in the woods to Beau’s house. She knows where all the sensors are. Beau is still cooking away at his chemistry set. At one point he takes a sip of something. Heather is getting closer to the house, she’s coming in. Beau doesn’t hear her enter, he’s still lost in his task. Heather sneaks up near him and just when she’s about to reveal herself to him he jumps up and runs into her. He’s so startled he drops what he’s holding. The test tube hits the ground and burns both the floor and Heather’s shoes. Heather yells. Beau “What the fuck Heather!? You scared the shit out of me!” Heather “Likewise Beau! What is that acid?” Beau “don’t worry about that, that’s just… wait a minute. How did you get in here?” Heather “You think I forgot where you put all the traps & sensors?” Beau “Oh shit Heather, you’ve got to be more careful. I put out new ones since the last time you were here. You’re lucky you made it through” Heather getting closer to Beau now and putting her arms over him. “No, you’re lucky I made it through them” and she gives him a kiss. They don’t waste any time.
18. INT – LAURA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Laura is pouring her and someone else a drink. He puts his drink down and puts his hands on her neck, rubbing it gently but firmly. She relaxes and tilts her head back in pleasure. She leans back for a kiss and all we see the back of his head and her leaning back. Then circle around to see that it is… Keith. Laura is having an affair with Keith.
19. INT – JUDGES’ DARK CHAMBERS – NIGHT
Jack and The Judge are sitting in the Judge’s chambers, having a whiskey. The Judge “You made your rounds?” Jack “Yes, everyone was very receptive.” The Judge “Good. Good. Then it’s time we begin.” The Judge pulls out a large, old leather bound book with old markings in gold on a black cover. It reads. The Book of Azariah. They begin to look at it together. Jack in an awed voice “Finally.. the Angel of Fire Ritual” The Judge correcting him “The Rituals.” It has incredible images of wild scenes ala the book in The 9th Gate. The Judge takes some blood and runs it along his face. He does the same to Jack. Very slowly. Together they chant slowly and calmly a message to the Devil, asking him to watch over them. The ritual they are looking at shows a man on fire with giant wings and in ancient writing it says (translated) Angel of Fire.
20. INT – BEAU’S HOUSE OUT IN THE WOODS – NIGHT
Heather and Beau are sitting in post coital bliss, smoking a big joint. They’re bundled up and looking at the stars. Heather “You know the people in town think it’s you?” Beau “Yeah I know” Heather waits a beat and then says “Well, what are you going to do about it?” Beau doesn’t answer her. “Do you ever look up at the stars and think that you could be anywhere else on earth and it wouldn’t make any difference to anyone… but it would make all the difference for you? Like you could just leave and never come back.” Heather “Yeah, but I’d miss my family… and my friends… and you…as long as you’re not a serial killer.” Beau “It’s not me. Have I ever lied to you before?” Heather “Are you going to make me say her name?” Beau, so because I hooked up with Laura when we were 16 now I’m a serial killer? C’mon.” Heather eyes him warily. “So what really is going on?” Beau “I don’t know but I’m sure as hell going to find out.” Heather hugs him and he kisses the top of her head, but looks around warily.
* I have more left and I need to cut out the dialogue on the further scenes, but I’m posting this now so I don’t have to re-type it.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Dylan Allen.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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OPENING: Lure us into the story and introduce the lead character in action.
* posted previously
INCITING INCIDENT: An event that propels the Hero on the Journey.
* posted previously &
EXT – LITTLE LEAGUE GAME – DAY
The townspeople talk about how helpful The Program that Jack and The Judge run is to the boys of the town. The parents of the boys in The Program think that Jack and The Judge are helping their boys.
INT – CHURCH – DAY The Program is holding a Ceremony to celebrate the boys joining The Program. EXT – WOODS – NIGHT The night of the Ceremony, the boys go with Jack deep into the woods to learn how to stalk and kill out in the woods. Jack tells the boys “Tonight you will kill… or you will be killed. It’s up to you.” INT. – LAURA’S HOME – NIGHT Keith is at Laura’s house. She has seduced him and he has fallen for it. EXT. – KEITH & HEATHER’S HOME – NIGHT Heather questions Keith about what is really going on with The Program. She throws in a dig about Laura being involved too. Heather says she knows Laura slept with Beau and some of the other boys in The Program and now she sees the way Keith looks at her. Heather tells Keith he needs to speak to Beau about it. Keith tells her he’ll think about it. EXT. – BEAU’S HOUSE – DAY Keith is at Beau’s house to buy drugs. Heather is there. Beau tells Keith that Jack and The Judge are into some wild shit and that the Program is just a front for The Order. Keith says, yeah I already know. Beau tells him he knows what happens at the Rituals and that Keith needs to get out now while he still can. Beau tells him that’s why he’s way out here, away from town. Jack, The Judge, and their secret plans aren’t safe for Keith… or Heather. INT. – CHURCH – DAY Jack, The Judge and the townspeople put on a Ceremony to celebrate the boy’s progress in The Program. EXT – WOODS – NIGHT The first Ritual, Keith and Gabe offer up animal sacrifices to Jack. The ritual involves the drinking a strong psilocybin mushroom tea, leading the boys to hallucinate and to see Laura levitate above them. Jack hypnotizes them so they feel that they are falling and they must submit to her and pledge their devotion to The Order in order to stop the feeling of falling. They do and when they come back Laura invites them all to sleep with her in a ritualistic orgy. INT. – KEITH AND HEATHER’S HOME – NIGHT Barbara corners Keith and wants to know what is really going on in The Program. Keith tells her nothing, that it’s exactly what they say it is. Barbara tells Keith that she knows Jack and that nothing is ever what it seems like with him. Keith says how do you know? Barbara responds, I’ve known Jack a lot longer… and a lot better than you.
TURNING POINT 1: A major twist that locks the hero into the conflict. Point of no return.
INT. – JACK’S HOUSE – DAY
Jack is looking at a newspaper that reads “Doug Rogan, Boy from Savot accuses Jack Walls of multiple crimes, including rape” Jack tells Keith, Gabe and a few of the other boys this isn’t going to end well for the boy.
INT. – COURTROOM – DAY
The Judge receives Jack’s case file against Jack and tells his contacts in the legal system they’d better help him or else everyone will find out about what they’ve really been up to (drugs, women, shady deals, etc)
INT. – ASYLUM – DAY
The Judge is talking to someone at the asylum. They hand him a form that he fills out with the accuser’s name and a list of dates, medications and diagnosis. The worker takes the form and says Ok, I’ll have this right back. Did you want to see your daughter while you wait? The Judge just gives him a look that could kill and the guy says Ok, I’ll be right back.
EXT – THE JUDGE’S COMPOUND – NIGHT
Jack is telling the boys how the case has been dismissed, on account of the boy’s checkered history of mental illness, medication and hospitalization. The boys whisper to themselves that Doug never went to the asylum. Jack hears them and tells them. Don’t let the newspapers fool you, we own this town. Anyone goes against us, this is the shit that happens. But I’m not done with the Rogans, come here. And the boys all huddle in.
INT. – SHERIFF’S CAR – NIGHT
The Sheriff and his Deputy are talking about how the case against Jack was dismissed when the boy had evidence that should’ve taken the case to trial. The Deputy is explaining to The Sheriff, who is new in town how the town actually operates. The Judge, through his connections with The Company controls everything. The Judge has had a pristine image in Black Maple for 50 years. It’s like the chicken and the egg. He’s been clean for so long because he’s had the upper hand for 50 years. By now, his reputation is so good that no one would suspect him of anything. It doesn’t help that his property is out of town limits. The Sheriff says no one is above the law. The Deputy responds, you haven’t spent much time in Black Maple. One thing I can tell you though, this isn’t the end of the story for that boy.
EXT – DOUG ROGAN HOUSE – NIGHT
We see Keith watching from his car. He puts on his mask and skulks down by the Rogan house. Keith, masked, confronts Doug and tells him to never go against Jack or The Judge again or the next time he’ll burn him alive. Doug asks if that’s Keith and Keith freaks out and uses a stun gun on him and runs off. We see two boys or men crouched in the woods nearby wearing masks and watching Keith vandalize Doug’s car while Doug lies on the ground.
INT. – DINER – DAY
The patrons of the diner are discussing the newest murder of local girl, Jane, who was friends with Heather. Some think it is Beau because he lives in the country, grows weed and listens to metal, and the first murder victim was found on his land. Others think it is Keith because he has been acting very strange. Some whisper about how this all started when The Company came to town. Someone says, if The Company was involved, the Judge would know. In walks the Sheriff. People are mad as hell and they want answers. The Sheriff tries to calm them down but when he can’t the waitress from before gives him his coffee and a donut and tells him good luck Sheriff, you need it.
INT. – KEITH’S HOUSE – DAY
Keith is drinking and doing coke while lifting weights. Loud music is playing. Heather comes in and tries to talk to him. Keith, addled from the abuse he’s suffered, the crimes he’s been forced to commit, the murders going on and the drugs and alcohol is very agitated. He tells he she doesn’t know shit about anything and she should just get out of Black Maple while she can. She tells him she wants to help him, that people in town think that it’s him or Beau doing the murders and she knows it’s not them. She tells Keith that she loves him and wants to help him and he just looks at her coolly and says there’s nothing you can do for me. Keith gets in his car and peels out. Barbara comes home then and Heather cries to her about how the girl that was murdered was her friend and the town thinks it was Beau or Keith and how they’ve got to figure out what is happening. Barbara tells her she’ll help her get to the bottom of it, but she doesn’t seem so sure.
INT – KEITH’S ROOM – DAY
Heather is snooping around Keith’s room, looking for clues to help her understand what is going on with him. She finds a tattered journal. It has entries in it about what he’s done with Laura, and about Jack and The Judge bringing him into the Book of Azariah rituals. There are drawings and satanic symbols. Heather is scared.
EXT – BEAU’S COMPOUND – DAY
Heather goes to talk to Beau and tell him about Jane’s murder and Keith’s journal. She wants to know if Beau thinks Keith has lost his mind and is the one doing the murders. Beau tells her that he thinks it has something to do with The Program and tells her that when he was in it, in addition to the drugs, alcohol and women, they were also asked to kill animals in a sacrificial way – the same way that the boys in the woods and now Jane has been killed. He thinks Jack and The Judge are behind it and that Keith could be mixed up in it too. This is too much for Heather to hear. He grabs her and tells her – This is bigger than you or me, we’re just pawns in their game. You’re not safe here. You need to get the hell out of Black Maple while you still can. Please. Heather tells him she’s not leaving without him and he says ok, he needs to finish a few things so they will have money and that they will leave tomorrow early in the morning.
EXT – COMPANY AIRSTRIP – DAY
The Sheriff is snooping around The Company airstrip, trying to find clues to help him in his murder investigation. He tells one of the men there he sure could use their help solving the murders. Sorry Sheriff, that’s not our jurisdiction. Our mission is to train pilots to fight terrorism. We don’t get involved in local matters. I wish i could help. Do you have any suspects? The Sheriff tells him he’s looking at Beau and Keith, two local boys who have fallen onto the wrong side of the tracks. The Sheriff is dismayed to hear that The Company won’t help him, but it cuts both ways, he thinks The Company man is telling him the truth and that they aren’t involved in the murders.
MIDPOINT: A major revelation. The opposition is 10 times worse than thought.
A Ritual out in the barn. Jack has given the boys the psilocybin potion and is showing the boys the Book of Azariah and explaining that the Ultimate Ritual is for a man to go into the fire and to be re-born and transformed. That if the Ritual is performed correctly and 11 souls are given over, the devil will transform the man into the Angel of Fire, to have the powers of the devil on earth. The boys are thunderstuck. Jack’s eyes flicker with flames inside of them. He tells the boys if they really trust him they’ll put blindfolds on and he’ll bring in Laura. The boys all agree. Once the blindfolds are on, Jack puts on a wig and perfume and begins abusing the boys. One of them peeks beneath the blindfold and sees that it’s not Laura but is too scared to do anything about it.
INT – SCHOOL – DAY
Keith and Gabe are at school and are talking about everything that’s been going on. Keith is freaked out. Gabe is as cool as a cucumber. Keith is telling Gabe, do you really believe that Angel of Fire stuff? Jack and The Judge are already the most powerful men in town. That’s got to be a cover for something right? Gabe is non-committal but asks what Keith wants to do. Keith says I say we go to the source, figure out what The Company is really doing. Let’s go tonight. Gabe agrees.
EXT – THE COMPANY COMPOUND – NIGHT
While following Jack, Keith and Gabe see Jack meet with The Judge and members of The Company. They sneak into The Compound and into the cave system through the warehouse. There are more drugs, guns and money than they could have ever possibly imagined. Billions of dollars worth, stored in the caves right next to Black Maple. Keith and Gabe are both Gobsmacked realizing the real power that Jack and The Judge have. They are afraid of getting caught and get out while they can.
INT. – LAURA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Keith goes to the one person he thinks he can trust – Laura. He tells her what they saw at the Compound. She tells him he has no idea. The Judge has been working with The Company for 50 years, since Vietnam. Do you know anything about The Company? They’re above the law. They can get anyone to do anything at anytime, including me. Keith asks her what she means. She says Why do you think I sleep with you? Or Gabe? Or the rest of the boys? She tries to soothe his hurt feelings by caressing him and telling him that doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy it sometimes. This is all news to Keith, he thought they had something together and tells her that he really likes her. She says she does like him, but that she’ll never be free until Jack and The Judge are dead. This puts Keith into a quandary.
INT – THE JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – NIGHT
Jack and The Judge are having bourbons and playing chess. Jack is surprised by the level of the Company’s operation in Black Maple. The Judge tells him that is nothing, when they were in Vietnam with Project Alpha they had an unlimited budget to test any weapon they could think up. We got into some pretty hair shit over there. Jack says they’ve sent you all over the globe huh? The Judge says you have no idea. I’ll tell you one thing though, they should never have sent me to Italy. That’s where I got this and holds up the Book of Azariah. This is going to be the key to our freedom from being their pawns. But we need more souls. You’ve been doing good, but we need 11 or it won’t work. Jack nods in understanding.
EXT – CAMPFIRE – NIGHT
Jack is talking to the boys about each of their families secrets. From the access he’s gained with the monetary gifts and his access to the boys he knows a lot more about their family dynamics than anyone realized. Jack is slowly but surely destabilizing the boys relationships with their families and making himself the central figure in their lives. Jack tells the boys they can only rely on each other. That The Order is the best place for them. They can have everything they want, as long as they stay loyal to The Order. When they’re leaving, Jack corners Keith and tells him he’d like to bring Heather into the Order. Keith says that’s not a good idea. She’s a goody two shoes, she wouldn’t understand… and if my dad ever found out. Jack says what did I just say about being loyal to The Order. I don’t give a fuck what Joe and Barbara think. Bring Heather or don’t come back.
TURNING POINT 2: A major setback. The lowest of the low.
INT. – BEAU’S COMPOUND – DAY
Heather and Beau have all of their stuff packed and are ready to leave. Beau is telling Heather he is paranoid that The Company, The Judge, Jack or all three are going to have him killed because he knows too much. Right then, The Sheriff and his men roll up to the Compound with their sirens blaring and guns pointed. There has been another murder victim found on Beau’s land, this time a boy – same markings as the other victims. They’re bringing Beau in for questioning. Heather is terrified.
INT. – THE CHURCH – DAY
Jack is talking to Keith and asking him when Heather will be coming in. Keith says he doesn’t know, now that Beau’s been arrested Heather is pretty inconsolable. Jack looks irritated. Keith says, but I did find this. It’s a sex tape between Beau and Heather. By giving it to Jack, Keith will ruin his relationship with his family once and for all. But he will protect Heather for another day from Jack and The Order. Jack says, yes, that could work…
INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE – DAY
The Sheriff is talking to the Deputy about Beau. He says they can’t keep him any longer because they don’t have any evidence tying him to the murders. They argue for awhile about how he is a weirdo, and how dead bodies keep appearing on his land, but ultimately the Sheriff lets him go and tells him if I were you I’d think about finding a new piece of land.
EXT – LIQUOR STORE – NIGHT
Keith is working on a bottle of bourbon by the liquor store. His recent betrayal of Heather is just one of many things weighing on him and he is drinking heavily. The Sheriff pulls up and talks to him. Keith wants to tell The Sheriff everything, including about his abuse and the murders he knows about, but knows that The Sheriff won’t be able to protect him from Jack, The Judge and The Company. In a fit of rage, Keith threatens the Sheriff and they get into an altercation. Instead of helping Keith, the Sheriff now thinks Keith is responsible for the murders. Keith is a loose canon.
EXT – WOODS – NIGHT
Beau is out checking the traps on his land. He doesn’t understand how people are planting bodies on his land. Beau is snuck up on by someone with a Ritual mask. They chloroform him.
EXT – WOODS – DAY
At sunrise, as Beau is coming to, a man puts a gun barrel under his chin. A gunshot is heard from Beau’s property. The Sheriff goes to check it out. It is Beau on a rock overlooking Black Maple, he appears to have shot himself. There is no note.
INT – KEITH AND HEATHER’S HOME – DAY
Heather gets the call about Beau and she is beyond distraught. She confronts Keith who is listening to loud music on headphones in his room and begs him to tell her what he knows. Keith really loves his sister and tells her about The Company and the guns and drugs and money and about The Judge and Jack and the satanic rituals and the Angel of Fire plan. Heather thinks Keith has lost his mind and sees fresh mud on his shoes. Now she thinks it was him that killed Beau and she’s scared of Keith.
EXT – LAURA’S HOUSE – DUSK
Keith goes to Laura’s house to talk to her. He sees Gabe leaving Laura’s house. It is apparent that they’ve just had a tryst. Keith realizes he can’t talk to Laura so he goes to The Sheriff’s house.
INT – SHERIFF’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Keith goes to The Sheriff’s home to apologize and to tell him what he knows. Losing Heather and Laura is a final straw for him and he needs help. When he gets there The Sheriff’s door is open. Keith goes inside and sees a large bulletin board of theories about The Company, The Judge, Jack, Laura, Keith, Gabe, Beau, etc. Then Keith sees The Sheriff who has been stabbed to death. It dawns on Keith that he will be a suspect and he gets out of there.
INT. KEITH AND HEATHER’S HOME – NIGHT
Heather is inconsolable because of Beau’s death. Keith talks to his mother Barbara and tells her he found The Sheriff dead at his house. Heather comes out and asks what they’re talking about. Keith tells her The Sheriff’s dead. Heather freaks out again and says this has to stop. I don’t know why you’re doing this, but you have to stop Keith. Heather tells Barbara about how Keith came home with blood all over him the day of the Boys in the Woods murders and how he’s been gone every time someone was killed. Heather asks if it’s Laura that’s making him do this. Keith says no. Heather asks why he made her and Beau’s tape public and he tells Barbara and Heather (again) about The Company, The Judge, Jack, the satanic rituals, etc and instead of believing him, they both think he has lost his mind. But they try to play it cool. While Barbara is asking questions and trying to figure out what’s going on Heather silently texts the police to come to their house to get Keith. Keith sees what she’s doing and gets up to leave. They tell him to stay and he pulls a gun. He is extremely angry, telling them that they never helped him when dad beat on him and they didn’t care when Jack used him and now he’s being blamed for something he didn’t do. He is unstable and leaves.
INT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Barbara is telling the Deacon everything that has happened and that she doesn’t know what to do. The Deacon tells her he can see that she is very troubled and that she should pray about it. This is a dark, cold moment. Barbara realizes no one is going to help her. She has nowhere to turn and the police are looking for her son with orders to shoot on sight. She tells the Deacon all of this. In a chilling tone the Deacon says “the wheels of this plan were turning long before your family came to Black Maple and they will continue to turn long after you are gone.”
CLIMAX: The ultimate expression of the main conflict.
INT. THE JUDGE’S COMPOUND – NIGHT
Keith runs back to Jack, exactly as Jack planned. Jack hides Keith and then calls his father to tell him the plan is ready. The Judge calls and puts the manhunt out for Keith, in the opposite direction from where they will hold the Final Ritual. With Beau and The Sheriff dead and the rest of the police force going in the wrong direction Jack and The Judge will have the night completely to themselves to enact the Final Ritual.
EXT – KEITH AND HEATHER’S HOME – NIGHT
Jack takes Keith and Gabe to kill Keith’s family. Jack gives Keith a gun and tells him to go in and get his family. Keith goes in and his dad sees him first. Joe goes to get a gun and Keith sees a lifetime of abuse flash in front of his eyes and shoots him in the shoulder, wounding him, but not killing him.
EXT – KEITH AND HEATHER’S HOME – NIGHT
Heather and Barbara come home and Gabe tells them him and Jack know who the real killer is and that it’s not Keith, but they have to go now to help him from being killed by the police. Heather and Barbara, trusting Gabe, get in the truck. Gabe locks them in the truck and then Gabe and Keith throw Joe into the bed of the truck. When Barbara and Heather realize what’s going on they freak out. Then the cab of the truck fills with gas. And Gabe hooks up the truck to be towed.INT – THE BARN – NIGHT
(Joe, Barbara, and Heather are the first people we actually see be killed and the first we see killed by Keith and Gabe)At the ritual Jack gives Keith more psilocybin tea and he injects Joe with morphine. Then Jack puts them both into a pit to fight. Everyone, including Heather and Barbara are watching. Joe beats on Keith until it looks like he’s going to beat him to death. Keith is hallucinating badly now, seeing his father as a monster. Jack throws Keith a gun and tells him it will be self defense. To just end it once and for all. At Jack’s instruction, Keith chooses between Jack and his father and pulls the trigger, killing his father. Barbara and Heather are horrified. Maybe Keith was the killer all along. Jack taunts Heather about how easy it was to kill Beau. He tells her he thought he would put up more of a fight, but in the end he let Little Miss Priss put blinders on him. Heather is shocked and deeply hurt.
INT – THE BARN – NIGHT
Jack tells Keith as much as he’d love to drag this out they need to get going. Kill Barbara and Heather. Keith looks at them and even though he is hallucinating and has just killed his father, he can’t do it. Heather pleads with Keith and Keith loses his shit. Seeing this, Gabe takes the gun from Keith and kills Barbara swiftly. He goes to shoot Heather and the gun jams. Gabe doesn’t waste any time and takes a hunting knife out of his belt and holds it to Heather. Gabe whispers to her, I guess you’re not going to have such a perfect life after all? Tell Beau I say hello. At that Heather sees beautiful images of her and Beau together in the daylight in the field. Beau is putting a flower in her hair. Gabe slits her throat and she dies.
INT – THE BARN – NIGHT
Jack calmly says that makes ten. And asks Laura to help him in the final Ritual. Jack pours gasoline all over himself. Jack starts to levitate and lights a match, lighting himself on fire. As the fire spreads up his body he tells them he feels amazing. Laura, jealous, pours gasoline on herself and begins to levitate but when she catches fire she burns. Jack continues levitating, on fire, his giant wings sprouting from behind him. Laura is fully on fire now, it is not working for her. Jack calls to her one last time. Thank you Laura, you made the ultimate sacrifice, the last soul had to be given voluntarily. Thank you. Jack ascends painless and Laura burns to death horribly.
RESOLUTION: The end of the journey in an emotionally satisfying way.Keith is arrested for all 11 murders, the murders of his family and the eyewitness accounts of The Judge are enough to quickly sentence Keith to life in prison without parole.
Wracked with guilt Gabe has a breakdown and lashes out. The Judge arranges for Gabe to be sent to the insane asylum where his daughter is.
The parts of Gabe being taken to the insane asylum and Keith being taken to the prison are highly tense and very emotional.
It is revealed that Jack double crosses The Judge and The Company. In a striking scene, Jack tells The Judge that him and The Company are of no use to him now, and that if he comes for him he’ll burn him alive for what he did to him and his sister. When Jack is threatening the Judge he is burning him and reminding him of all of the wrongs he’s done and why he’s had this change of heart. The Judge realizes the student has become the master.
Jack goes to visit Keith and Gabe. At first they are relieved to see Jack. They think he is going to save them. Both of them realize while he is talking that he is not going to help them and they are fucked. They are locked up for the rest of their lives with no way out.
Jack convinces Gabe to kill himself. Gabe does so in dramatic fashion by climbing to the top of the asylum and falling off of it backwards with his arms crossed.
Jack moves on to a bigger city with a larger church. We see the billboard for the church as he’s driving. A song is playing on the radio and he’s tapping his hands. At the end he lights a cigarette with his fingers.
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Mary Emmick’s Thriller Map Version 1
What I learned is how to take my thriller map and make it easier to read by rewriting as synopses, adding sluglines and numbering the scenes.
Hero:
· Katie Green, housewife and grandmother, social justice advocate
Villains:
· Olga Novikov, operative working for Igor Stepanov and the New World Order Party.
· Billionaire Cabal (consisting of President of Tajerkistan, Igor Stepanov, Aaron Stench who is oil magnate and social media owner, Gordon Grimes who is owner of international media conglomerate that owns FACT NEWS, and others in the cabal including other billionaires and members of the New World Order Party.
Red Herring Character:
· Katherine Volodka, unruly and annoying Morluvian immigrant
Trusted, but shouldn’t be:
· Olga Novikov – manager of Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center (MIAC)
· Victor Ivanova – Olga’s assistant
· Hairstylist at Katie’s salon
· Allison Hanover, new garden club member
Isn’t trusted, but should be:
· Katherine Volodka, the annoying Morluvian immigrant at the MIAC
· Gardener who whisks Katie away from the garden tour.
1. List out your structure using whatever structure you are comfortable with.
Opening – Car wash explodes after Katie has driven out of it.
Direction: Someone places a bomb on the bottom of Katie’s car in the carwash.
Twist: The bomb that was attached clumsily to the bottom of the car falls off in the carwash. After Katie drives away the carwash explodes. She is safe.
Life Threatening: Is someone trying to kill her?
Mystery: Who is it and why is she a target?
Distrust: Katie begins to distrust her world after the explosion.
Reveal: We see a blue star tattoo on the forearm of the carwash attendant as he waves her into the carwash.
Inciting Incident – Katie’s friend Natasha from the Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center has been promoted from her job of manager of MIAC to a national supervisory role in Washington D.C. She has a month to prepare before she moves and starts her new job. A wonderful and competent new manager, Olga Novikov, takes over. Victor Ivanova, a charming young man is hired to be Olga’s assistant.
Misdirection: Character misdirection
The audience is directed to believe Olga to be an amazingly positive and fabulous manager of the MIAC, but in actuality is working for the NWOP and Igor Stepanov to get rid of Katie and Natasha.
Clue: Natasha Petrov is on the phone talking with her brother in Morluvia. He warns her
that he is in danger.
Story: Igor Stepanov’s goons have Antony Petrov thrown in prison in Morluvia.
Trust: Katie and Natasha are good friends. They trust each other and have worked together for several years at the MIAC. Katie will miss Natasha but is happy for her promotion.
Misdirection – Clue type: The Red Herring Character
The audience is directed to see Katerina as always annoying, loud and a bother to everyone around. Morluvian immigrant Katerina Volodka yells at other kitchen staff she works with in the kitchen and gets in fights with other immigrants. She wants more handouts than other immigrants and is always causing trouble for the workers and volunteers at the Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center.
Story: Katie and Natasha are at an outdoor café. A car races towards them at high speed. The car crashes into their table overturning it injuring Natasha’s leg.
Misdirection – Clue type: Red Herring Character
Katerina is walking by their table just after the car crashes into the table.
Distrust: After this incident, Katie and Natasha believe Katerina was somehow involved with the assassination attempt at the café.
Life Threatening: Katie realizes that she and her friend Natasha may be in danger.
Distrust: Natasha has shared with Katie that her brother Antony has been put in a Tajerkistani prison by President Igor Stepanov for criticizing him and working for his overthrow. They both do not trust Stepanov.
Mystery: Could there be some connection between Antony and Natasha and Katie who are now also in danger?
Reveal: We see a small sticker on the license plate of the vehicle that has sped into them. It is a blue star next to the initials NWOP indicating affiliation with the New World Order Party.
Villain’s Plan: The villains consist of a ruthless cabal of billionaire individuals: Igor Stepanov, President of Tajerkistan who is threatened by Antony Petrov, social disrupter and critic of Stepanov; Igor’s advisors, Stan and Sergei; Aaron Stench, Oil company magnate and new owner of social media company…his goal: to control all social media and shut down the free press and the internet; Gordon Grimes, owner of FACT NEWS, an international news conglomerate that deals in propaganda which promotes the ultra-wealthy class and whose goal is control all television broadcasting worldwide; Morluvian woman, Olga Novikov, the new manager of Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center, an operative who works for Igor Stepanov; her assistant, Victor Ivanova.
Turning Point I – Jack Green (Katie’s husband) who works in security as a software engineer at UnisoftNW is working one night at home trying to fight off the attacks of hackers on the system when their power and internet goes down.
Life Threatening 1: Their power and internet go down.
Distrust: Jack and Katie do not trust that they are safe at home and know someone is targeting them.
Clue: Jack earlier had received a job offer from a social media company offering him an outrageously large salary. He is offered the job on the condition that he move immediately to California. Katie is not impressed with the new owner of the company and tells Jack not to take the offer. Katie recently deleted her account on Stench’s social media.
Villain’s Plan: Aaron Stench bought the company and most people don’t trust him and are leaving the platform. Stench want Jack away from UnisoftNW because he is one of the high- level senior software engineers who work to combat cyberattacks. Stench wants to take over the internet and shut down freedom of speech and freedom of expression. He needs to take over UnisoftNW, just like he did with the social media company he bought.
Life Threatening 2: They grab their granddaughter who they are babysitting and drive to his company and a car chase ensues.
Life Threatening 3: Two men into the Green’s house that night when they are gone. They rifle through their computer and make a mess of Jack’s office. They see the pirated Disney Dumbo video as well as a dozen other old VHS children’s tapes in the family room and take photos of them.
Clue: The police have Eastern European accents. Didn’t we see these guys earlier in a bar with Victor Ivanova?
Reveal: These are the same guys with the Eastern European accents (think Czech accents of two wild and crazy guys from Saturday Night Live skits) we saw earlier in scene at a bar with Victor Ivanova, Olga’s assistant at MIAC.
Life Threatening 4: Later that week police show up and press charges for pirating VHS movies. They are fined for 13 pirated VHS tapes at $500 a pop it comes to $6,500. They arrest Katie, handcuff her and haul her off in a black SUV to jail. As they are headed out of town, they come to a red light. Katie jumps out of the car and tries to escape. The police start shooting at her and hit several of the cars at the intersection. A police car several cars behind them sees the shooting and gets out and arrest the two. Meanwhile Jack tries to locate Katie’s whereabouts by calling all of the local jails and they have not heard of this incident.
Direction: Katie and Jack were investigated on charges of pirated VHS tapes as an excuse to grab Katie and do away with her.
Twist: They are fined for 13 pirated VHS tapes for total of $6,500…humorous twist
Mystery: Who is targeting them?
Distrust: Now Katie and Jack can’t even trust the police.
Villain’s Plan: Igor Stepanov, Aaron Stench, Gordon Grimes and the rest of the cabal are coordinating to take down UnisoftNW in the final course of action to control the internet as well as all social media, press, and television worldwide in order to control the world. Their goal: a kleptocracy.
Reveal: It is revealed that Aaron Stench was responsible for the hacking of the system and of shutting down Jack’s internet and power to their house.
Midpoint – Katie and Natasha are at an outdoor café, and a car races towards them at high speed. Someone is trying to kill them both.
Life Threatening: A car is attempting to kill them.
Mystery: Who is doing this to them? What do these people want?
Distrust: Katie and Natasha do not feel safe being out in public together.
Villain’s Plan: Because Natasha is in communication with the Morluvian resistance, the cabal fear she is a threat to their power. Katie’s husband Jack is fending off threats to take down the internet and run it deviously for the cabal’s selfish and devious ends.
Turning Point II – At hair salon, her regular stylist, Sue, has been replaced by a COVID masked woman who is NOT Sue! FACT NEWS is being loudly broadcast on the television in the salon. Katie asks the stylist to please turn it off.
Trust: Katie trusted her stylist Sue who she made an appointment with to be there.
Distrust: A different stylist who shows up to do her hair makes Katie jittery.
Life Threatening: The stylist attempts to stab Katie in the back of the neck with a pair of sharp scissors. Katie sees her pick up the scissors in the mirror.
Direction: Hairstylist is about to stab Katie.
Twist: Katie quickly swivels around in her chair and kicks the stylist to the ground and flees. First, she pours a solution of hair gel on her assailant’s face and head blinding the stylist for the time being. A car chase ensues and Katie drives away safely when a large group of political protesters who support the Justice Party cross the street when the light turns red halting the assailant’s car.
Mystery: Who is this? Why is she attempting to kill Katie?
Villain’s Plan: If Katie is killed, they can stop her support of her husband Jack and her friend Natasha.
Climax – At garden tour of Lake Washington mansion, the gardener whisks Katie away into his car; he informs her that someone is trying to kill her.
Life Threatening: Someone tries to assassinate Katie.
Mystery: Who is the gardener who whisks her away in his car?
Villain’s Plan: The cabal sends an assassin to the garden to kill Katie.
Direction: Katie is on a tour of a Lake Washington mansion garden that was coordinated by new garden club member Allison Hanover.
Trust: Katie trusts everyone in her garden club including the new member Allison who is a delightful person.
Misdirection: The Villain’s Plan.
We consider Allison Hanover, the new garden club member, a delightful addition to the club, but she is working with Aaron Stench to assassinate Katie.
Distrust: Katie distrusts this gardener. She thinks he is kidnapping her.
Misdirection: Katie believes the gardener is trying to kill her.
Twist: The gardener says nothing on the drive and drops her off at her home. Katie doesn’t get it, but is relieved.
Reveal: The gardener is actually CIA who is protecting her from being assassinated. Allison Hanover is actually working for Aaron Stench and Aaron Stench is the owner of the home. Allison planned to have Katie assassinated. We learn that Allison Hanover drops out of the garden club as she is moving back to Connecticut. We later learn she has been arrested in Connecticut.
Resolution – Disaster is averted.
Life Threatening: At the Morluvian charity and goodbye luncheon for Natasha, Katerina, the annoying Morluvian immigrant and kitchen staffer sees in the mirror Olga Novikov switching her red glass beverage glass on the table with Natasha’s glass. Katerina demands Natasha switch Olga and Natasha’s glasses back where they were when she set the table. Katerina is annoyed and won’t have it. Katerina clumsily drops a stack of plates in the room which causes an angry Olga to come to her. With Olga distracted, Natasha switches the glasses without being seen. Olga later drinks the beverage and passes out, later dying in an ambulance.
Twist: As the ambulance drives up, we see Victor Ivanova, Olga’s assistant, waiting in his car. Was he planning to drive Natasha’s dead body away? Police arrest Victor here as he is wanted as a Tajerkistan mobster.
Mystery: Who called the police to arrest Victor here?
Clue: We see a blue star on Victor Ivanova’s forearm as he waits in his SUV.
Direction: Olga was going to poison Natasha with poison in her drink.
Twist: Katerina sees this and deftly switches glasses so that Olga poisons herself by drinking it.
Clue: After a body is rolled out on a gurney and put in an ambulance, we see Victor waiting in a black SUV outside the Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center. Troubled, he calls Olga on his cell phone. From his open window he hears a phone ringing on the gurney across the street. He was expecting to take Natasha’s dead body away. “Oh shit,” we hear him say. He realizes that the body is Olga, not Natasha.
Mystery: Why is Olga doing this? Is she trying to kill Natasha?
Why does Katerina even care about the glasses on the table so much?
Distrust: Katie realizes that Olga is not a friend and is out to get her friend Natasha and most likely herself.
Villain’s Plan 1: With Olga out of the picture, Natasha and Katie learn from Katerina Volodko, an undercover CIA spy posing as the insufferable Morluvian immigrant, how to break into Olga’s computer and access the passcode of the cabal that is set to take over the world.
Direction: Olga is the manager of the Morluvian Immigrant Assistance center and Katerina Volodkoa, is an annoying immigrant that spends time at the center and causes trouble. Natasha and Katie suspect that Katerina may be working to harm them.
Distrust: Natasha and Katie suspect that Katerina to not be just a troublemaker, but possibly out to get them.
Twist: Olga is actually an operative working for President Igor Stepanov and plans to kill Natasha and Katie. Katerina Volodko is a CIA spy trying to help them.
Reveal: Katerina explains to them that she had been listening on a device of Olga’s plot to poison Natasha. Katerina explains the master plan of Olga who works for Stepanov and the cabal. Katerina tells them that she is an undercover CIA spy. She shares with them that the cabal wants to take over the world and that they must expose the plan to the authorities. Katerina knows the passcode to Olga’s computer. She ushers Katie and Natasha into Olga’s office and locks the door. Katerina proceeds to break into the computer and access the passcode of the cabal that is about to take over control of the world. One of the pinned programs on the home screen is a blue star with the initials NWOP below it. She click on this.
Trust: When Katie and Natasha learn that Katerina was a CIA spy sent to help them and Olga was the NWOP operative who wanted to kill them, they realize the truth. They trust Katerina now.
Villain’s Plan: A plan to take over the world.
Direction: They expose this diabolical plan to take over the world to the president, the press, and the world.
Clue: Igor Stepanov moves his billions to a remote country in Indonesia where it is being guarded by the Acadia Group, a military contracting company.
Natasha’s brother Antony Petrrov escapes from the Tajerkistani prison with the help of CIA and leads an uprising that overthrows the corrupt government lead by President Igor Stepanov. President Igor Stepanov is taken out and Tajerkistan no longer wages war against Morluvia. Antony Petrov becomes an important advisor to the president of Morluvia. Others in the cabal are exposed as criminals: Aaron Stench’s takeover of the social media company goes to pot and he is bankrupt. He is indicted for hacking into UnisoftNW and for multiple corruption charges. Gordon Grime’s international television empire falls to the lowest ratings ever and everyone considers Gordan and his media empire a laughingstock. In the next election the Justice Party wins and democracy and freedom survive.
Direction: The cabal expects to take over the world.
Twist: By their sheer ego mania and stupidity Aaron Stench, Gordon Grimes, President Igor Stepanov and the cabal ruin any success they may have obtained and they destroy themselves.
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