Day 14: Most Memorable Lines

[Elliott Williams]

Subject: Elliott Williams Most Memorable Line

“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”

There are a lot of specific ways to tackle a script to improve the overall quality. I hear what you have been saying, but it’s a lot of work.

SCENE BEFORE

INT. JACKSON HOUSEHOLD – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Trace enters the kitchen. Dishes clank as Anna flips them under the running faucet. She looks small and worn, not as energetic as earlier. The facade is gone.
Trace takes this in before she makes her presence known.
TRACE
You just refuse to use the dishwasher.
ANNA
Not with two good hands. It’s therapeutic.
Trace unconsciously pinches off some grapes on the counter as she turns to study her mother.
TRACE
How are you?
ANNA
Fine.
TRACE
Why did you stay…all those years?
ANNA
Trace…
TRACE
I’m just…while I was away, I just wondered why…did you put up with it?
ANNA
You were a child.
TRACE
And you weren’t.
ANNA
Trace.
TRACE
All the moving? “Looking for work?” It just never…what happened?
ANNA
I love him. I’d follow him anywhere.
TRACE
I love him too. So, if he’s dieing, I’ll never forgive you if you kept that from me.
ANNA
Please. Let him speak for himself.
Trace relents once she sees the torment in her mother’s eyes.

THE LINE I’M REWRITING:

Anna’s last line “Please. Let him speak for himself”

MEANING

I want her to shut April down and let her know that she can’t control everything that happens or she doesn’t know enough to understand anything.

SCENE AFTER

INT. JACKSON HOUSEHOLD – KITCHEN – NIGHT
April enters the kitchen. Dishes clank as Anna flips them under the running faucet. She looks small and worn, not as energetic as earlier. The facade is gone.
April takes this in then…

April
You just refuse to use the dishwasher.

ANNA
Not with two good hands. It’s therapeutic.

April unconsciously pinches off some grapes on the counter as she studies her mother.

APRIL
How are you?

ANNA
Fine.

APRIL
Why did you stay…all those years?

ANNA
April…

APRIL
I’m just…while I was away, I just wondered why…did you put up with it?

ANNA
You were a child.

TRACE
And you weren’t.

ANNA
April…

APRIL
All the moving?, “Looking for work?”, mood swings, it just never…

ANNA
I love him. I’d follow him anywhere.

APRIL
I love him too. So, if he’s dying, I’ll never forgive you if you kept that from me.

ANNA
You may have found wisdom, but didn’t get wise. You’re writing a check your ass can’t cash.

April, at a loss for words, relents, sees the torment in her mother’s eyes.