Day 15 Assignment

[Kristina Zill]

REWRITE of Lesson 14 – QE Cycle #3

Logline: When a fishing boat captain plans to make an un unscheduled stop, the marine science student who chartered the boat tries to force her agenda.

Essence: Squire and Nancy learn just how unsuited they are for each other

EXT. FISHING BOAT – DAY


A boat is just about to depart the Monterey Bay marina, piloted by SQUIRE (25), who looks more like a spoiled frat boy than a captain. As he busies himself with untying the boat, he is unaware of NANCY (20), a tomboy and a Marine Science student at California State University Monterey Bay, who approaches wearing a backpack and carrying a long, thin, plastic pole. She shoves the pole onto the deck and jumps on board herself. Hands on hips, she watches Squire while he works frantically and gets the boat untied. He turns, sees her, and jumps, startled.

NANCY

Hey! Are you Captain Jack?

Squire moves his eyes from side to side, like he’s looking for an answer.

NANCY (CONT’D)

It’s not a trick question. I chartered THE CATARRH today. Is Jack around?

SQUIRE

Change of plans. I’m afraid you’ll have to disembark.

(sizing her up)

Not that I wouldn’t enjoy the company.

NANCY

I’m not disembarking. Take me to the Aumentos Reef, please.

Squire looks past her at activity towards the end of the dock. Three official looking men are going boat to boat.

NANCY (CONT’D)

C’mon, let’s go! We’re burning daylight.

SQUIRE

Yeah. Let’s get going.

Nancy smiles, pleased with her apparent powers of persuasion. Squire puts the boat in gear and heads out to the open sea.

NANCY

So you sounded much older on the phone.

SQUIRE

You talked to Jack, my grandfather. He was rushed to the hospital this morning for emergency tests.

NANCY

Omigod! I hope he’s okay!

SQUIRE

I’m sure he’ll be fine. But in his old-man fog, he forgot that I needed the boat today.

NANCY

Sorry, but you’re stuck with me.

He eyes her, taking in her sculpted arms, her long brown hair blowing in the breeze.

SQUIRE


I’ve never seen such a long fishing pole. And they say size doesn’t matter. Guess it does in this case!

NANCY


That pole is how I apply the tracking device.

SQUIRE


Tracking device!?

He lets go of the throttle, the boat loses speed. He flashes his most brilliant smile.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

What on earth are you tracking?

NANCY


Um…a blue whale?

SQUIRE


Oh, like, for selfies?

NANCY
Uh, no. Look, your grandfather told me he had experience with the procedure.
You pull right up alongside the whale, and then I slap this device onto its back.


(she pulls a gadget from the backpack) 


See? These suction cups hold it in place.

Nancy tucks the device away. Squire shakes his head, puts on some speed again.

NANCY (CONT’D)

Excuse me, but the reef is thataway. Straight ahead.

SQUIRE
(pointing to the right)
We just need to make a slight detour first.

NANCY


No, not okay. I chartered this boat! I ORDER you to take me to the Aumentos Reef.

SQUIRE
And we will get there, we will! There’s just one little errand I have to fun first.

NANCY
What “errand”?

SQUIRE



It’s nothing, no big deal. Here, hold the wheel a moment. I need to send a text while I’ve still got service.

Squire walks to the back of the boat and busies himself with his smart phone. Nancy takes the opportunity to turn the wheel in the direction of the reef. Squire finishes and returns, but Nancy stays at the wheel, distracting him with conversation.

NANCY

So what’s wrong with your grandfather?

SQUIRE

(shrugs)

Who knows? When you get to be his age–

NANCY

Does he even know you have his boat?

SQUIRE

Of course.

NANCY

But he didn’t tell you I chartered it.

SQUIRE

The one I heard about is tomorrow. Eliza somebody.

Nancy lets go. The boat slows.

NANCY

Eliza! Eliza Morton?

SQUIRE

(shrugs)

We keep appointments in the ship’s log.

Squire points at the log book. Nancy rushes over and frantically flips through the log’s pages.
Squire takes the wheel and casually steers them back to the right. Nancy returns, paces.

NANCY

It IS her. One of my classmates at Cal State.

SQUIRE

Don’t you know that college is for partying?

NANCY

That’s what my classmates think. That’s why I’m going to blow them out of the water with all the data I collect from my whale.

Nancy paces a moment.

NANCY (CONT’D)

I guess she also heard about the blue whale that’s been hanging out at the reef.

Nancy returns to stand beside Squire, looks at the dashboard instruments.

NANCY (CONT’D)

Hey, what’d you think? I wouldn’t notice?

SQUIRE

It won’t take long — just a quickie.

NANCY

What is it? Like, a hook up?

SQUIRE

More like an appointment. Why? Jealous?

NANCY

Uh, no. I don’t even know you.

SQUIRE

Hey, a stranger is just somebody I haven’t slept with yet… JOKE!

NANCY

Cut the crap. I ORDER you to take me to the reef.

SQUIRE

Are you captain of this boat? No, I am.

Nancy is furious, arms crossed, brows furrowed.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

But you’re cute when you’re angry.

NANCY

Ugh! Where do I file a complaint?

SQUIRE

Right here, babe. Aw, c’mon. What can I do to put a smile back on that pretty face?
How about– Okay, I’ve got it. What if this charter is free of charge?

NANCY

Seriously?

SQUIRE

Hey, I know college is expensive. So whattaya say?

Nancy considers a moment.

NANCY

Okay, deal. But… you also cancel the outing with Eliza Morton.

SQUIRE

Ah, so you ARE the jealous type.

NANCY

Those are my terms.

SQUIRE

You got it. Eliza is out.

NANCY

(gloating)

It’ll be impossible to find another charter on such short notice.

SQUIRE

And who knows? Maybe we’ll run into that whale of yours on the way to my meet-up.
Here, why don’t you take a peek through the binocs and see if you can spot some blow-holes.

Squire hands her binoculars. Nancy slowly turns in a circle, scanning the ocean.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

See any?

NANCY

No, but… there’s something coming towards us.

SQUIRE

What, like a Kraken?

NANCY

It’s pretty far away. 

(she peers another moment)

But… it looks like…a boat headed straight toward us.

SQUIRE

What kind of a boat?

NANCY

Speed boat, maybe?

Squire grabs the binoculars.

SQUIRE

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. That’s the Coast Guard.

He hands the binoculars back to Nancy, who peers through them again.

NANCY

I wish they’d slow down. At that speed, they’re damaging all kinds of marine life.

SQUIRE

They must have intercepted my text. Can they do that? Or maybe they’ve got the boat bugged.

He turns the boat and slows.

NANCY

Wait, the reef’s over there! Why are we turning into this cove?

He stops the boat.

SQUIRE

There’s something I gotta do. Listen, uh. Why don’t you make yourself useful and inflate that lifeboat?

NANCY

Are you kidding? I can’t approach a whale on a lifeboat!

SQUIRE

In about five minutes, you’re going to wish you had a lifeboat, so just do it.

She turns around in circles, unsure of what’s going on. She calls down into the hold.

NANCY

I hear water. Uh, what’s your name? Captain Jack’s grandson! What’s that rushing water sound?

He comes running back up, holding two fishing poles. Checks the binocs one more time.

SQUIRE

Yep, we’re gonna be just in time.

NANCY

The boat’s sinking!

SQUIRE
Check this out. Rapid inflate.

He pulls a tab and the lifeboat inflates.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

Okay, now you hold onto these fishing poles.

The lifeboat is now even with the water. He gets in.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

Okay, hand me the poles and climb on in.

She puts the binoculars in her backpack and gets in.
The boat goes under.

SQUIRE (CONT’D)

Perfect. Now, when they get here, we’re just out for a little fishing excursion.

NANCY

No. No way. I’m going to tell them exactly what happened.

SQUIRE

And I’ll tell them it was your cargo, your meet-up.

NANCY

What cargo?

SQUIRE

You tell me.

NANCY

What, like drugs?

SQUIRE

(clutching his pearls)

You brought drugs on my boat? My grandfather’s boat?

NANCY

This is outrageous.

SQUIRE

Your choice. Is it prison time? Or…

The sound of the Coast Guard boat is drawing near.

NANCY

Okay, okay. Fishing excursion.

SQUIRE

You’re holding the pole wrong. Here.

NANCY

Don’t you even care about your boat?

SQUIRE

My grandfather’s boat. Yeah. Bummer. But freedom’s good. Okay, here they come. Ready?

[Edward Lusk]

See Day 16 for notes…. thanks

• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Edward Lusk.
• This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Edward Lusk.

[George Verongos]

REWRITE of Lesson 14 — QE Cycle #3

LOGLINE: After being forced to work on a science project together, SQUIRE—a bad boy with even worse grades—realizes NANCY—the nerdiest girl in school—could keep him from flunking out, but Nancy has some conditions.

ESSENCE: People will give up pieces of themselves to get what they want.

INT. MR AVERY’S CHEMISTRY CLASSROOM — DAY—10 MINUTES AFTER THE TARDY BELL

MR. AVERY’s classroom door opens and in walks NANCY, a junior and one of the smartest and nerdiest girls in school, holding a large stack of books in front of her. She is followed by SQUIRE, a handsome senior with long curly hair and chiseled features. He has no books. Nancy rushes to her lab table at the back of the class.

AVERY: Squire, you’re late.

SQUIRE: What about her? She’s late too.

AVERY: Nancy volunteers at the animal shelter every Wednesday morning, so she’s excused. You’d know that if you were ever on time.

The class “oohs” and “aahs”.

AVERY: I guess that makes you and Nancy project partners.

SQUIRE: What? Project?

AVERY: Directions are on the board.

NANCY: Excuse me, MR. AVERY, sir. (she pushes up her thick glasses) You couldn’t possibly expect me to agree to take him on as a partner. I’d prefer to work by myself.

AVERY: Unfortunately Nancy, I do expect you to be his partner.

The class rumbles a little.

AVERY (CONT’D): Okay people, quiet down.

SQUIRE: Naw, it’s cool, teach. I’ll just sit this one out.

The class rumbles a little louder.

NANCY (to herself): Good. Then it’s settled.

AVERY: Well, if you sit this one out, you’ll also be sitting out graduation.

The class gasps and “oohs”.

SQUIRE: What do you mean, sittin’ out graduation?

AVERY: I mean that if you do not pass this project, you will not have enough credits to graduate.

The class erupted in catcalls and various exclamations, but Squire seems unfazed by the news of his failure as he makes his way back to where Nancy is sitting. He has a bounce in his step and flirts with every girl on the way. Nancy is visibly unhappy.

AVERY (CONT’D): I said, quiet down, people! Now settle down and get to work. Your projects are due tomorrow, so use the rest of this class to work on them, quietly.

The class moans and Mr. Avery retreats to his desk, as Squire plops down next to Nancy.

SQUIRE (happy): Hey there, partner.

NANCY: Why are you so happy?

SQUIRE: Why not?

NANCY: Mr. Avery just told you, you might not graduate. That’s why not.

SQUIRE: I guess I just look at things differently.

NANCY: Differently? How else could you look at flunking high school?

SQUIRE: Things just always have a way of working out for me. Like better than expected.

NANCY: That makes no logical sense. How can you be sure things always work out for you?

SQUIRE: I can’t explain it. If you know, you know.

Nancy pushed up her glasses and looks off in thought.

NANCY: I mean, it’s not even mathematically possible let alone logical. How do you do it?

SQUIRE: Look… what’s your name?

NANCY: Nancy.

SQUIRE: Nancy, I’m Squire by the way—

NANCY: Yeah, I know; everyone knows who you are.

SQUIRE: Like I was saying, I just decide what I want to happen and then it happens.

NANCY: Like you are controlling the future? (beat) That’s impossible.

SQUIRE: Don’t matter if you believe me or not.

NANCY (slams fist on lab table): You’re lying! Prove it to me. How are you not going to flunk out of high school?

Mr. Avery (not looking up from his desk): Everything okay back there?

SQUIRE: Okay, okay, relax, Nance. I’ll tell ya. This is what is going to happen. I’m gonna get an A on the project and I’m going to graduate.

NANCY: Oh, I see. Typical. You think you can get away with doing none of the work and still get a good grade that I did all the work for? It’s not my fault we got forced to work together.

SQUIRE: That’s exactly what’s gonna happen. You don’t want a partner anyways, so I let work alone, and you let me share your grade, and I get to graduate. You said it yourself, it’s not my fault we got forced together. It’s perfect, really. It’s a win-win.

NANCY (in thought): You have a point, but win-win? How’s it a win for me? I’d be doing the science project regardless.

SQUIRE: Yeah, it’s a win for you. Besides, we don’t have a choice.

NANCY (sighs): Unfortunately, you are correct. (beat) But, I have a condition.

SQUIRE: What?

NANCY (biting her lip): You have to go to prom with me.

SQUIRE: What?! No way. I already have a date, my girlfriend.

NANCY: Well, I guess you don’t want to graduate then.

SQUIRE: The only way I don’t graduate is if you fail the project, and we both know there is no way you would purposely fail a project. Shit, you probably get all depressed when you get an A instead of an A+. And remember, we are being forced, we ain’t got no choice.

NANCY: Actually, there is a significant difference between an A and an A+. (beat) If you don’t go to the prom with me, then I’ll just tell Mr. Avery that you didn’t do any of the work. Then you will fail and not walk at graduation.

SQUIRE: What? You’re psycho. I’m not going to MY senior prom with YOU. Fuck that.

NANCY: It’s your choice. (beat) Maybe we’ll be in the same chemistry class next year?

Squire is annoyed and knows he has to go to the prom with Nancy or he won’t graduate.

SQUIRE (defeated): Ok.

NANCY: Really?

SQUIRE: Yeah. I’ll do it. (sigh) I gotta graduate.

NANCY (clenches fists): Excellent. Clarissa and Tammy will choke on their 4.0s when they see us together.

SQUIRE: Can’t we just like, hang out at the prom for a few, maybe dance. I mean, it’s my senior prom, I want to go with my girlfriend. I got the whole night planned. I even got us a hotel room. Come on, Nance, please.

NANCY: Oh, that reminds me. You need to break up with your girlfriend.

SQUIRE: What? Why? I’m not breaking up with Jenny for… for you.

NANCY: Fine. You can just take me to MY senior prom next year when you repeat the 12th grade.

SQUIRE (more defeated): Fine.

NANCY: Do it right now.

SQUIRE: What? No. I’ll do it after school.

NANCY: No. You have to do it now. I need proof and I have to leave immediately after school so I’m not late for my volunteer shift at the hospital.

SQUIRE: I can’t call her in the middle of class.

NANCY: Text her. Then just forward the text to me.

SQUIRE: Text? I’m not an asshole. I’ll just explain to her that this psycho nerd in my chem class is blackmailing me and if she forgives me for the prom, we can get back together.

NANCY (face contorted in anger): NO!

AVERY (not looking up): I’m not going to tell you again. Keep it quiet.

NANCY (quieter): No one can know about… about our little arrangement. It has to be as real as possible.

Squire is silent and looking straight ahead in shock.

NANCY (CONT’D): Now, text Jenny. (beat) Better yet, I’ll text her. Give me your phone.

Without changing his gaze, Squire hands his phone to Nancy.

END SCENE

[Kristina Zill]

Hi, George – I posted feedback on your scene in Lesson 16. -KZ

[Edward Lusk]

Ed’s QE Cycle # 3 – DRAFT # 2.

Logline – On the morning of a big wedding, a florist morning takes a turns for the worst, or does it?

Essence – with friends like this who needs enemies

INT. FLOWER SHOP – DAY

SQUIRE, 20’s, is surrounded by cut flowers and various floral displays in different stages of assembly. He’s busy arranging while sing-talking into a speaker phone.

SQUIRE

Jamie? Why don’t you pick up? Where are you? I’m not panicking- yet, today is the day.

The Richmond/Raymond wedding. Remember? It’s big, it’s splashy, and famous, not to mention it means the world to me on so many different levels. Please get your cute ass in here ASAP! Bu-bye.

The bell over the door jingles. NANCY, 40’s enters, her arms are full of supplies. She dumps them on the sorting table in a huff. She has large bruise across her face.

SQUIRE

Pumpkin, your beautiful face ——

NANCY

—— Somehow I knew I’d end up here this morning. Squire, I warned you about this.

SQUIRE

Love you too, Nancy. Start with the table arrangements, pleeeease.

NANCY

Listen and learn darling. The wedding party’s flowers are done first, then the wedding, then the reception. Unless you have a better idea?

She starts roughly sorting through vases of flowers, cutting down stems, plucking off leaves. He movements deliberate, intense.

NANCY

God, I told you, don’t hiring him just because he’s cute. But noooo. Why listen to your best friend? Answer – because said friend can be relied on to show up and save your ass – again.

SQUIRE

Someone’s in a mood. Let’s just have fun with flowers. This is going to be a romantic day!

NANCY

I slipped in the shower, okay? You need proof? (Eyeing an arrangement) These are all wrong, by the way.

Nancy tears into a completed arrangement. Squire tangles with her to stop it. A thorn rips into his finger. He playfully sucks on the finger. He bats his big brown eyes, the dimples debut.

NANCY

Sweetie, you’re cute, but you’re gay. Whatever this is…ain’t happening.

SQUIRE

Just kidding. I’m a florist not a mortician, although I may need one if this wedding tanks. I hope Jamie’s okay. Do you think I should leave and check on him?

NANCY

Let’s see, on one hand you have the wedding of the year that will make you famous and on the other you have missing numb-nuts who can’t tie his shoe and chew gum.

SQUIRE

I’d better stay. I’m sure he’ll show up soon.

The door bell jingles again. A perplexed look crosses Squire’s face. A handsome man, 30’s, dressed in tuxedo, enters the shop. This is JONATHAN RICHMOND, one of the grooms. He’s disheveled and looks to have been crying.

NANCY

The plot thickens.

JONATHAN

How are you guys?

SQUIRE

Jonathan, you’re scaring me. Where’s Martin?

JONATHAN

Didn’t Jamie tell you?

SQUIRE

Jamie? Tell me what? I’ve been trying to reach him all morning.

Nancy busies herself with an arrangement.

JONATHAN

That’s strange. When I talked to him he said he would talk to Nancy and you guys would figure it out…Sorry.

SQUIRE

Oh Nancy, care to comment?

Nancy comes around the counter and embraces Jonathan in a big hug.

NANCY

Oh, sweetie. I’m so, so, sorry. Are you okay?

All puppy eyes, Nancy ignores him, as she kisses him on the cheek then tucks a rose into Jonathan’s lapel. She winks at him.

JONATHAN

Your face….

SQUIRE

She slipped in the shower…Someone want to fill in the charming, but dumfounded florist, on what’s going on? I think I missed an episode.

NANCY

The wedding is postponed——

JONATHAN

——It’s off.

NANCY

——I said, postponed.

SQUIRE

Ummm…are you two getting married? Because this sounds like a fight to me.

NANCY

I did want to say anything Squire, in the hope they’d work things out. I mean why not give love a chance? It’s worked before.

Jonathan locks eyes on Squire. He raises and eyebrow and flashes that devilish smile. They have a history.

JONATHAN

I’m guessing I won’t get my payment back?

SQUIRE

Jonathan, honey, you owe me a lot more than the down payment.

JONATHAN

Tempting but…Whoa. That’s not what Jamie told me. Right Nancy?

SQUIRE

My dear friend does not represent the Garden of Eden. She has other more, unrefined, business matters to attend to.

NANCY

Oh grow up Squire. You were out and I wasn’t about to let the biggest order in your life walk out the door. Given Martin’s money problems, and Jamie looking like a deer on the headlights, I took action. I told Jonathan it would be alright for a down payment and the balance due after the wedding. It was on odds on favorite things would work out. Oops.

SQUIRE

His is my shop! These are my decisions to make. If I wanted your help, I’d ask for it.

NANCY

Sweetie, you’re way in over your head. Business is not your forte, it’s okay. Go back to stripping, meet a rich man, sell your soul to the devil. Be like a normal person.

JONATHAN

I’ll take that under advisement, Nancy, Thank you….Jonathan, what happened?

JONATHAN

Martin lost the honeymoon money betting on a football game. I love him but I just can’t trust him anymore. It’s over.

NANCY

When god gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Am I right you two?

SQUIRE

Martin? The interior designer, bets on football games? What the Shonda Rhimes is going on?

The next thing you’re going to tell me is Jamie is somehow involved in this.

A beat. Eyes diverted to the floor.

NANCY

I’m only the bookie. It’s not my fault the adorable idiot bet the wrong team.

Squire taps on the computer. His fingers taps around the screen following the flow of accounting transactions.

SQUIRE

I see where Jamie got the money.

NANCY

Yea that part was really stupid on his part. At least now he only owe’s me two grand.

SQUIRE

And yet again you neglected to tell me?

Nancy feigns innocence. The phone rings.

SQUIRE

What else can go wrong today?….(answers) Hello, Garden of Eden, this is Squire…

He listen’s intently, then hangs up.

SQUIRE

That was Martin…Jamie is in the hospital…he said Nancy put him there?

JONATHAN

Squire, how about going to brunch? There’s so much to get caught up on.

Nancy twirls around a pair of pruning sheers, a malevolent twinkle in her eye.

END SCENE

[Kristina Zill]

Hi, Ed – I posted feedback for this scene on the Day 16 forum. -KZ

[Sandra Nelles]

Sandra’s QE Cycle #3 Rewrite of Lesson 14

LOGLINE: Things fall apart when two distrustful police officers are forced to work together to solve the murder of the mayor.

ESSENCE: Collaboration works better than competition.

SCENE:

INT. POLICE STATION – DAY

Police CHIEF (50) balding, stocky, gruff, sits behind a metal table, impatiently stares at the clock on the wall that reads 9:15 am. NANCY (30) slender, attractive, short hair, dressed in uniform leans against a wall with her arms crossed. SQUIRE (35), dark hair, ruggedly handsome, fit, looks totally hot in his uniform, casually saunters into the room without a care in the world.

CHIEF

You’re late. Where were you?

SQUIRE

I haven’t had breakfast yet.

No doughnuts and coffee?

CHIEF

I’ve called you here to work on an important case together.

The mayor has been murdered, and we need you two

to interview a possible witness-suspect.

NANCY

But I work in domestic violence not homicide.

CHIEF

We need everyone on this and you’re going to need to

go undercover as husband and wife to help find out what happened.

Squire smiling, moves in close to Nancy and puts his arm around her. She glares at him and brushes his arm away.

SQUIRE

Sounds good to me. We get to spend time alone together.

NANCY

I can’t … I’m getting married in two days.

SQUIRE

(whispers in her ear)

Maybe he’s not the right guy for you.

CHIEF

It’ll need to be postponed if you want to keep your job.

NANCY

Surely there’s someone else.

CHIEF

If there was, you wouldn’t be here.

We need everyone on this case.

Chief flips a light switch and we can see through the window in the next room. Sitting with her head in her arms on the table, IRIS (50’s) dirty and in ragged clothes, appears to be asleep.

Nancy sneezes and coughs.

NANCY

I may be coming down with something.

SQUIRE

What do we know so far?

Chief throws a file on the table.

CHIEF

Read the report…I have to get back upstairs.

Chief leaves the room. Squire begins looking through the file.

NANCY

So, is SQUIRE your real name or a nickname?

SQUIRE

Long story. (reading) Mayor was hit on the head with a trophy in his

home office. Iris is in her 50’s, homeless, arrested for shoplifting,

petty theft…all minor stuff…was found disoriented nearby…

NANCY

Suppose you think you should question her first?

SQUIRE

(smiling)

Ladies first.

Nancy storms into the interrogation room. Throws the file and a pad of paper on the table and sits down across from Iris.

NANCY

(loudly)

WAKE UP. We need to talk. What’s your name?

Iris remains with her head on the table and eyes closed.

IRIS

(whispers)

Iris.

NANCY

(shouts)

OKAY, IRIS. Sit up, this is serious.

IRIS

I can hear you…not feeling great…

NANCY

Smells like you’ve been drinking.

IRIS

Uh huh. It’s legal.

NANCY

What were you doing at the Mayor’s house?

IRIS

Is that where I was?

NANCY

The Mayor’s been murdered. Did you see anything?

IRIS

I don’t remember.

Nancy grabs the file and pad and storms out of the room and goes into the observation room.

NANCY

(speaks softly)

She’s too drunk to question and

she needs medical attention

for that nasty gash on her head.

Squire holding a cardboard tray with two coffees and breakfast wraps.

SQUIRE

(smiling)

Let me show you how it’s done, sweetie.

Squire waves the tray under Nancy’s nose as he leaves. He quietly enters the other room, and gently places the tray on the table and sits down.

SQUIRE

Hi, Iris. I brought some coffee and breakfast.

This should help you feel better… if you help me out and tell the truth

Squire takes a bite and a sip of coffee. Iris sits up, reaches for the coffee. Stares a Squire.

IRIS

Squire is that you?

SQUIRE

Mother?

[Ed Preston]

REWRITE of Lesson 14

LOGLINE: Nancy and Squire help somebody move.

ESSENCE: Don’t trust your stuff to just anyone, even Ivy Leaguers.

SCENE:

INT. SUSAN’S APARTMENT, CAMBRIDGE, MA, FRIDAY AFTERNOON, SUNNY SUMMER DAY

Nancy and Susan are friends and recent Harvard grads. Their circle of friends are young professionals and grad students. Susan’s roommate, Loretta, just left on short notice for an internship in Europe. Nancy offered to help move her personal belongings into storage, primarily because she’s after Loretta’s boyfriend, Arlen, a 3rd year student at Harvard Med school.

SUSAN

Who’s this guy helping you move all that stuff today?

NANCY

Squire? Arlen’s roommate.

SUSAN

Why’s Arlen not here?

NANCY

He got called last minute to take a double shift at Mt. Auburn, poor thing! Amazing what you have to put up with to be a doctor. I think they try to work ‘em to death, and if they survive they get to be doctors! So I made him a fancy lunch – two paninis, kettle chips from Whole Foods, and Yodels, his favorite. More than his old girlfriend ever did for him.

SUSAN

Old girlfriend? You mean Loretta? Wait, they broke up?

NANCY

Oh they will. I found a few things out about her he really needs to know, and my peeps will be dropping those tidbits ever so discretely! Besides, he doesn’t like her that much anyway and just needs a little help, if you know what I mean.

SUSAN

(nods knowingly)

Got ya! And how thoughtful of you to help move her stuff while she’s away in London. You really are a saint! But who’s this roommate? Is he gonna be a doctor too? Is he cute?

NANCY

He’s some kind of software dweeb. Went to MIT. Designs games or something. Not exactly my ideal pick for a moving helper. Probably never lifted anything bigger than a backpack in his life. Looks more like Arnold Stang than Arnold Schwartzenwhosie.

SUSAN

Well, I don’t go for muscle men anyway, and there’s good money in games these days. But is he cute??

NANCY

He’s ok. Be better looking if he was in med school.

The doorbell buzzes. Nancy gets the door. It’s Squire.

NANCY

Hello Squire, come in!

Squire, 24, not bad looking if you like the hipster hair and scruffy beard look, enters.

SQUIRE

Hello, ladies! (notices Susan) …and who is this?

NANCY

Squire, this is Susan, my roommate.

SQUIRE

(takes Susan’s hand)

Greetings, lovely lady. I am (with a Shakespearean flourish) your squire!

Susan is amused by the gesture and play on words.

SQUIRE

Will you be joining us today?

NANCY

Unfortunately, no. Susan’s off to the Vineyard for the weekend.

SQUIRE

More’s the pity… For us that is. Are you going to the beach? Me, I can be happy all day on the beach with a PB&J, a can of pop and sunscreen!

SUSAN

Charming. No, a combination of beach, sailing and shopping in Edgartown. (to Nancy) Mostly shopping! Nancy tells me you’re a software developer.

SQUIRE

Something like that.

SUSAN

Gaming?

SQUIRE

Something like that.

SUSAN

Where do you work?

SQUIRE

You know that office complex, the big one between MIT and the Science Museum? Near there.

Susan grabs her overnight bag and heads for the door.

SUSAN

Fascinating. Well, I’m off. Have fun moving, Nancy, and nice meeting you, Squire.

SQUIRE

Likewise, I’m sure. Perhaps…

SUSAN

(already into the hall)

Ta!

NANCY

(leans out the door and waves)

Have a great weekend!

Nancy goes back in the apartment and finds Squire poking through the refrigerator.

SQUIRE

Orange popsicles, my favorite!

Squire takes one out, starts unwrapping it. Nancy is irritated but says nothing.

NANCY

Let’s get going, I don’t want this to take all day.

SQUIRE

Hey, how hard can it be to move a few boxes?

NANCY

I only just got here before you did. Everything’s in the second bedroom, and all we have to do is take everything to unit #1601 at the Alewife Stor-U-Stuff, slap a lock on the door and we’re done. C’mon.

Nancy steps over to the second bedroom and opens the door. The room is loaded with boxes and trash bags crammed with clothes.

NANCY

Good grief…

SQUIRE

What? What’s the matter (enters) Oh fuuuuuhhh….

NANCY

You brought Arlen’s truck, right?

SQUIRE

He said I could use it, but, well, I don’t like trucks, they use too much gas and they’re not good for the environment, and he said it was just some boxes, so…

NANCY

So… what?

SQUIRE

So I brought my Prius. It’s got a lot of room in the back and I used it when I moved… besides, what’s the rush? That bed in the other room looks comfortable and maybe we should rest up before we exert ourselves. (raises an eyebrow) What do you think?

NANCY

(exasperated)

Ugh! NO! Look at all this we have to move. You were supposed to bring his truck and you didn’t because “trucks are bad”! Well, trucks are really good when you need to move things! Now, who knows when we’ll ever get done? Grab something, let’s go!

She picks up two boxes, one on top of the other, and heads outside. Squire schlumps along behind with a trash bag stuffed with clothes. The Prius holds more than Nancy expects but a lot less than a truck. They fill it in no time and drive to the storage unit. But after three trips, Squire starts whining.

SQUIRE

Can we take a break? I’m exhausted!

NANCY

No! It’s not even 4:30, we’ve hardly made a dent in anything, and if we had the truck we could’ve been done by now. And you’ve eaten all the popsicles!

Nancy looks out the window and sees a couple of kids nosing around the Prius.

NANCY

Hey you kids, get away from that car!

The kids give her the finger but leave. Nancy turns and sees Squire out cold on the couch. Exasperated, she grabs a paper cup, puts in some water and throws it on Squire. He gasps and sputters.

NANCY

Come on! Let’s go!

SQUIRE

What was that for?

NANCY

Motivation. Besides, something bad might happen if we don’t get this done soon.

SQUIRE

What do you mean? This is the safest neighborhood in Cambridge.

NANCY

(walking out with another load)

I’m not talking about the neighborhood. COME ON!

Six trips later it’s well after dark, but they’re finally done with their last load at the Store-U-Stuff. They slide the door down on a full storage unit.

NANCY

The lock, please.

SQUIRE

The lock?

FADE TO BLACK.

[Amechi Ngwe]

REWRITE OF DAY 14 SCENE

EXT. MANSION – NIGHT

THE BARE FEET of a muscular man disappear around a corner between the pool house and some bushes. SQUIRE, 30s, emerges, adjusting a black guard’s uniform that’s a little too tight for him. He has a face you don’t recognize but instinctively trust. He walks alongside a pool, checking out his reflection.

SQUIRE
(to himself)
Looking good, sir.

A FEMALE SECURITY GUARD watches him from near the mansion’s back door. She eyes him suspiciously. He holds her gaze and winks at her. She looks away, flustered and he quickly skips past her.

Squire continues around the–

SIDE OF MANSION

A camera is mounted high on a wall. Squire, hanging from a rope, whistles to himself as he climbs from below it and eases himself around it, so as not to be seen. He pulls himself onto the—

ROOFTOP

And swings a small bag off his back. He opens it, removing small metal tubes and starts piecing them together.

SQUIRE
And this bit goes here…

He assembles them into a SNIPER RIFLE. He looks down the scope…

SCOPE POV

And swings his aim down towards a man walking over to the pool. The man’s back is to Squire. Squire focuses squarely between the man’s shoulders. Then suddenly swings his vision to the large back yard of the next house, where a WOMAN, 60s, sits reading a book on a lounge chair. This is TINA, a woman with so many secrets, she’s even instinctively covering up the title of the book she’s reading. The crosshairs jerk slightly.

BACK TO SCENE

Squire realizes the sniper rifle is trembling in his hands. Nerves. Weird. He smiles to himself, exhales.

SQUIRE
Let’s do what we came to do.

Places his finger on the trigger…
A pistol is pressed against his head.

He glances over at NANCY, 40s, athletic, cold lizard eyes concealing her warm heart. Right now she looks furious. Squire cracks a smile. Nancy doesn’t go for it.

SQUIRE
Hey love. The bosses sent you too?

NANCY
They knew you’d mess up.

SQUIRE
And you’re here to clean up the mess when I do?

NANCY
I have a better way to do this so I thought I’d save you the trouble. Why don’t you just go home early?

SQUIRE
Um, I like getting paid? How long have you been waiting for me?

NANCY
I wasn’t waiting for you.

SQUIRE
So this is just where you normally meet contract killers?

Nancy sighs and lowers the pistol.

NANCY
Six hours.

SQUIRE
Can I finish this? We can catch up over a drink.

NANCY
This means more to me than it does to you.

SQUIRE
I’d let you take the shot, but we both know you can’t aim for shit.

NANCY
I don’t miss.

SQUIRE
Not even me?

NANCY
Especially not you. You’re a distraction.

SQUIRE
Still blaming me for all your flaws?

NANCY
Go home, Squire. Tina’s going to die.

SQUIRE
And I really really have to be the one to pull the trigger.

They look over as a delivery truck rumbles to a stop outside the front of Nancy’s home. A driver hops out with a box and carries it to the front door.

Squire sees Nancy’s eyes light up as Tina gets up to answer the door.

NANCY
Maybe neither of us need to get our hands dirty.

SQUIRE
(re: Delivery)
One of your special deliveries?

NANCY
To clean up your mess, I’m going to make a bigger one.

SQUIRE
Unless I shoot her first.

NANCY
Maybe she’ll open the package inside.

SQUIRE
So why even come?

NANCY
I want to see the whites of her eyes before she goes. I want to be here to make sure she’s not clawing to hang on to her life.

SQUIRE
It’s always more fun being up close.

He gives her a grin. She’s not going for it.

NANCY
Who cares? As long as the job gets done.

The delivery van pulls off. A CAR zips into the driveway. A pair of LITTLE GIRLS get out of the car and hurry for the door, ahead of their mother.

Squire and Nancy exchange a worried look.

SQUIRE
Um… Are you going to stop this or…?

NANCY
We can’t.

Squire tries to get up. Nancy holds him down. He knocks his sniper rifle off the roof.

They watch in horror as it tumbles and—A YELL.

They peek over the edge. Lying on the ground next to the gun is the man, blood streaming from his head.

The Female Security guard looks up at them and opens fire.

Nancy ducks out of the way.

Squire looks next door. Tina is in the back yard with the package, staring up at them.

Nancy bumps Squire aside, takes aim at Tina’s chest and squeezes the trigger.