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Day 15 Assignments
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Larry Fraller’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is to get an overview to see what needs more horror/releases, and how to look for specific emotions in each scene.
I’m unsure how to format the horror situations, whether separately or as the action itself. So this version is pretty much a jumble. For feedback I could probably use help Horror emotions.
Title: VEGGIE BITES
Logline: When a vegetarian acquires a taste for meat, parasites and predators acquire a taste for her husband and others in her social circle.
Horror Outline
1. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Newcomers, Chambers and Lorette meet Alessa who warns them not to violate tradition.
Horror Situation: Lorette’s afraid of the creepy old woman
Denial: Chambers chides her active imagination
Horror situation: An image of evil shows up in a painting Lorette’s doing.
Denial: Chambers can’t see it.
Panic: Lorette paints a prince, Disney like. To balance good against evil.
2. EXT. CASTLE – DAY
They attend dinner at Ossimon’s castle. She sees darkness in Megarette.
Horror situation: Ossimon’s shadow appears to attack Lorette
Dread: She spills wine on the shadow which causes it to give off smoke.
Fear: She sticks close to Chambers
Denial: She’s attracted to it as a secret portal to Ossimon mysterious world
Denial: Chambers says she’s over reacting, her mind’s playing tricks on her.
Horror situation: creepy description of the lamb as a living being right before they eat it.
Anguish: Lorette feels the animal’s pain. Others are grossed out by it.
Suspense: Lorette’s a vegetarian.
Fear: Lorette tries to leave, but Chambers won’t let her.
Lorette tastes the lamb. Then devours it like a predator. Feels sick.
3. INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT
Lorette falls ill. Alessa brings healing potion that cause gnats to swarm Chambers.
Horror situation: Alessa and Megarette share the same hidden darkness
Fear: Lorette recovers from her fever and follows Alessa into the woods
Terror: The deep woods are as dark and cold as Alessa.
Dread: Lorette breaks off a branch to defend herself.
Panic: She turns back, looking over her shoulder the whole time.
Denial: Chambers says her imagination is running away from her.
Horror situation: Lorette dreams Chambers is not what he appears to be.
Apprehension: She turns away from him in bed.
Surprise: But he’s not in bed. He’s outside watching the moon.
Anxiety: She calls to him but he acts like she’s not there.
Anguish: She sees eyes in the darkness watching him.
Panic: She finds a rifle, but can’t find ammunition
Release: He’s back inside. The sun’s rising. He goes back to bed.
4. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Servant girl watches Lorette paint.
Horror situation: Eyes, which Lorette did not paint, appear in the painting
Dread: No one sees these eyes but Lorette.
Denial: Servant girl says Lorette’s a very imaginative artist.
Release: The eyes disappear.
5. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Foul smell comes from well, caused by animal carcass. Servant girl fetches water from the river.
Horror situation: Girl doesn’t return
Anxiety: Lorette takes a machete with her to look for the girl.
Fear: Lorette hears howling.
Panic: A wolf attacks her. She kills it with machete.
Dread: She sees a pack of wolves by the river.
Horror: The wolves devour the servant girl, while she’s still alive.
Release: The wolves leap through the river and disappear into the woods beyond
Anguish: Lorette leaves servant girl’s bones.
5. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Alessa blames Lorette and Chambers for the girl’s death but won’t say why.
6. EXT. VINEYARD – DAY
Horror Situation: Megarette warns Chambers not to touch native plants
Apprehension: He can’t get anyone to tell him which plants are native.
Denial: The old lady’s a bit demented
Fear: The old lady’s a bit demented
7. EXT. RIVER – DAY
Chambers tells Lorette about Megarette’s warning.
Horror situation: River overflows swamping the garden with parasites
Apprehension: Lorette tells him about the darkness she sees in the old woman.
Denial: Chambers plays it down as her imagination.
Anxiety: Lorette surmises what if she’s right? What if his garden plants are native?
Suspense: He tries to filter the parasites through one of her silk undergarments
Dread: She watches him taste it.
Anguish: He vomits blood.
Panic: She searches everywhere for Alessa’s potion.
Release: She finds it, forces him to drink it. He’s instantly cured.
Suspense: She’ll try boiling the water.
8. EXT. COTTAGE / GARDEN – DAY
River continues to rise. Chambers builds a berm around his garden.
9. EXT. CASTLE – DAY
Megarette dies from bees in her glass of wine, stinging her insides.
ACT 2
10. INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT
Chambers warns Lorette not to go to Ossimon’s by herself .
11. EXT. CASTLE – DAY
Lorette and Chambers attend a gala for Stephatta. Stephatta amuses Lorette with lurid stories .
Horror situation: Lorette sees same darkness in Stephatta.
Apprehension: Lorette sticks close to Ossimon
Denial: When she’s with Ossimon, she doesn’t see the darkness.
Anxiety Ossimon drifts away from her to be with the gypsy women
Fear: Lorette feels shadowed by Stephatta, tries to evade her.
Release: Stephatta leaves her to join a more rowdy group somewhere else in the castle
Panic: Ossimon invites Lorette to the noisier party.
Denial: Lorette likes his attention and her reduced inhibition around the gypsies
Apprehension: Stephatta invites her to dance with the gypsy women
Anxiety: Lorette declines Stephatta’s offer to teach her how to dance
Fear: Lorette sees an even deeper darkness in her.
12. EXT. PATH – NIGHT
Vintner’s wife escorts Lorette home, and is bitten by a poisonous snake with no effect on her.
13 INT. COTTAGE – NIGHT
Chambers won’t let Lorette attend Stephatta’s gypsy amusements.
14. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
River continues to rise. Larger more dangerous predators swim in the flood.
Alessa brings them a pair of tiny fish to clean predators from the water.
Horror situation: Alessa’s tiny fish kill predators larger than themselves.
Anxiety: Lorette tries to get rid of them with a net she makes of Chambers’ shirts.
Fear: She runs inside because the fish eat the shirts right out of her hand.
Dread: She finds ammunition for the rifle and blasts the fish.
Panic: The river breaches the berm. Chambers kills fish with a machete.
Hysteria: Lorette runs out of ammunition.
Release: Chambers escapes into the cottage. Lorette flees to the castle.
MIDPOINT
15. INT. CASTLE / BOUDOIR – DAY
Lorette’s shadow leaves her to follow her reflection in the mirror.
Horror Situation: Audience sees her shadow leave, but she does not see it.
Denial: She seems perfectly comfortable without a shadow.
Suspense: She gets cold in the corridor and returns to the room for a jacket.
Shock: She sees her shadow in the mirror act independently of her own movements.
Panic: She runs into the corridor without her jacket.<sub></sub>
16. INT. CASTLE / CORRIDOR – CONTINUOUS
Half-dressed, she meets Ossimon. She struggles to escape his charm.
Horror situation: His shadow consumes her shadow on the wall.
Panic / Relief: He oscillates between threatening and nurturing, death and life.
Denial: She decides on his warmth, stirred even by the evil she sees in him.
Suspense: She flirts with him.
Apprehension: He controls her, but she pretends she’s letting him.
17. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Horror situation: Wolves attack Chambers on his way to the castle.
Anxiety: He barely escapes into the cottage.
Surprise: The wolves leap at the windows and the door.
Terror: One breaks the window. He kills it with a kitchen knife. His machete is outside!
Panic: He uses a sword to kill the wolves.
Suspense: The wolves stop attacking, but wait and watch.
Release: He sets traps.
18. INT. CASTLE – NIGHT
Gypsy women give Lorette a bath. Make her wait for Ossimon.
Horror situation: Ossimon ties her to a stake, calls for a whip
Anxiety: She fights the gypsies, but can’t escape their hold on her.
Suspense: He tickles her with the whip.
Terror: He whips her three times.
Horror situation: ravens peck to death a naked woman in the bath Lorette had just been in.
Hysteria: Lorette screams for help.
Release: They cut her down, and dress her in the clothes she came in.
Act 3
19. EXT. PATH – DAY
She traipses home as the sun rises.
20. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
The wolves flee when they see her.
21. INT. COTTAGE – DAY
Chambers wraps her in a towel and runs a bath.
Horror situation: If he gives her a bath, he will see her scars.
Apprehension: She refuses the bath.
Anxiety: She’s almost too weak to resist.
Dread: She huddles in the corner, acting crazy so he’ll leave her alone.
Panic: He demands details of her night at the castle. She screams he’s trying to kill her.
Release: He tries to comfort her. She lets him think he is.
River rises to their door. Animals float by. Vultures pick at the corpses.
Horror situation: vultures mill about outside their door
Surprise: Vultures stay after the water rises. Chambers and Lorette try to scare them
Anxiety: Vultures don’t scare. The couple cling to each other.
Panic: Lorette throws rocks at them. They squawk, sounding like laughter.
Hysteria: She hacks wildly at the air with the sword still stained with wolf blood.
He locks her in the basement.
Horror Situation: basement floods, rats swim around and over and under her
Anxiety: Lorette bats at the rats, pushes them away.
Terror: The rats bite her. She swims, climbs the stairs.
Panic: The door’s locked. She can’t get out. She pounds on the door.
Hysteria: Rats leap at door, gnaw and claw the wood. They squeal and roar as they die.
Release: Door crumbles. She and the rats float free.
Horror situation: water rises along with various vermin and predators.
Terror: Lorette and Chambers climb the stairs to her studio in the attic.
Panic: Dives into the rising water.
Hysteria: Creatures attack her. Chambers drags her upstairs and shuts the door .
Horror Situation: Chambers can’t hold onto Lorette.
Panic: He tries to reach her with one good lunge.
Release: He catches her hand and drags her to the dormer where water hasn’t reached.
He performs mouth-to-mouth. She kisses him. He falls into water. Snakes kill him.
Horror situation: Lorette watches Chambers die a painful death.
Anguish: She screams, wails, rends her face with her fingernails.
She drags his body to her. Holds his cold face to hers. His eyes are open, peer into her as if he’s alive with full knowledge of her guilt and corruption.
Horror situation: She holds her husband’s corpse while monstrous fish feed on him.
Hysteria: She lets his bones go. Screams at the fish to take her. Dives into liquid hell.
She survives. Watches his bones float out the door as water quickly recedes back to the river.
22. EXT. COTTAGE – DAY
Horror situation: Lorette gathers her husband’s bones.
Anguish: Alessa accuses her of desecrating animals, when she tasted the lamb.
Surprise / Horror: Chambers’ bones turn to dust. She scatters his dust in his garden.
NEED AN EARLIER SCENE WHERE THE THREE EUMENIDES GATHER AND DEBATE Lorette’s violation of the morality of food, whereas Chambers nurtured the morality of life.
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Carmen’s Horror Outline Version 1 – Lesson 15
What I learned doing this assignment is how much of this was already done. It still needs some work, but I like how it flowed and the Horror Elements were there and it wasn’t too hard to incorporate and label the emotions, release, etc. as I went through the outline.
INT. DON BRUNO’S CASINO OFFICE – DAY
DON BRUNO, who wants to run Vegas makes a deal with the devil for power and money. He gets what he wants, but at a price!
INT. SALVATORE BEDROOM – NIGHT
THE DON comes home to discover FREDO and CECILIA in bed.
He kicks FREDO out.
INT. FREDO’S CASINO OFFICE – DAY
Fredo and Luca conspired to kill THE DON. He can take over as Don and he promised Luca the right hand.
FREDO is summoned to the DON’S office.
INT. DON BRUNO’S CASINO OFFICE – DAY
FEAR: They argue, FREDO pulls a gun. He shoots both bodyguards before they can kill him. He tells THE DON and CECILIA begged for him. She said that DON BRUNO was a horrible lover. DON BRUNO is enraged!
SHOCK: FREDO SHOOTS DON BRUNO
SUSPENSE: THE DON curses him and threatens he will be back for vengeance! Will he? How?
FREDO and LUCA clean out the safe.
EXT. DESERT – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
FREDO and LUCA bury the body and hide the money in a box in the same grave. They plan to come back after everything dies down.
FREDO tells the family that THE DON is on a trip to the motherland. Suspicions arise – but no proof.
FLASHBACK: DON BRUNO and CECILIA, the kids and the whole family at an anniversary party for them. Dancing and having fun.
At the party GRANDMOTHER SOFIA tells them of The DON “Curse”. How every Don generation has made a deal with the Devil for wealth and power and subsequently the entire family or the Don’s “old team” dies to fulfill his pact. The group laughs at her story – the Don especially – in his own denial since he has already made the pact a few years before.
SUSPENSE: FREDO gets a call from GRANDMOTHER SOFIA – warning him. He pays no credence. Will DON BRUNO come back?
INT. SALVATORE HOME – NIGHT
FREDO and CECILIA are in bed.
FREDO gets up to go to the bathroom. CECILIA grabs some cream out of her nightstand.
She feels something on my shoulder. She swats it away.
FEAR: She feels it again, but now there is pressure. She gets up to look in the large mirror.
SUSPENSE: It is a large handprint on her shoulder. She tries to rub it off. She SCRUBS harder and HARDER.
INT. OWNER’S BATHROOM – NIGHT
CECILIA comes in and grabs a washcloth. She puts soap on it. She tries to “wash” it.
It gets worse. FREDO comes up behind her, KISSING her neck.
She is standing in front of the mirror and he raises his head.
FREDO shakes his head.
SHOCK: CECILIA turns to show him and her face is melting off.
SURPRISE: FREDO falls back onto the tile floor.
RELEASE: She turns back around. All is normal.
INT. OWNER’S SUITE – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
A storm has picked up. THUNDER CRACKS.
FEAR: FREDO sits up in bed. He hears a loud GUNSHOT.
On the bedside is his gun, it is smoking as if someone just shot it.
CECILIA is out cold.
APPREHENSION: FREDO trembles as he reaches his hand out to touch the gun.
TERROR: The image of his young son, Antonio appears at the foot of the bed. He is mangled, his skin half torn off. He is WEEPING.
Weeks pass – Fredo begins to take over for the Don
EXT. DESERT – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
SCARE: FREDO and LUCA dig up DON BRUNO’S grave. A small desert tornado brushes by them and then envelopes both of them for several beats.
FREDO is standing near him, holding a flashlight.
LUCA rubs sands from his eyes and SHAKES his hair.
FREDO shakes the sand from his clothes, nothing can get in his way.
LUCA keeps digging. He hits the box. There’s a SCREAM in the distance.
FEAR: LUCA stops digging.
LUCA jumps into the large hole. He uses a crowbar to PRY open the small box on top of the coffin.
It is filled with cash.
RELEASE: He looks up at FREDO, they share a greedy smile and LAUGH.
LUCA pauses. FREDO is still holding the gun to his head.
LUCA finally PRIES the box open.
SHOCK: The DON’S body doesn’t look very decomposed.
FREDO holsters his gun. He jumps into the hole next to LUCA.
CREEPY MOMENT/MONSTER REVEAL: FREDO ignores LUCA and SPITS on DON BRUNO’S corpse. It looks like his eyes come to life.
INT. FREDO HOME – DAY
They fortify the family home. CECILIA is in denial.
DREAD: FREDO and LUCA are forced to watch the DON kill his oldest son, DANTE SALVATORE (Fredo’s Son). He is the next who would take over the Family.
HORROR: His Soul is sucked out and it’s the first portions of “skin” THE DON puts on his face
FREDO then tries to hide his twin teens from DON BRUNO.
SUSPENSE: They realize they are trapped. Due to water shortages, all state borders are closed and planes grounded. It becomes clear that it doesn’t matter where they go – Don Bruno can get to them.
FREDO takes over DON BRUNO’S office
INT. FREDO’S NEW OFFICE – DAY
RELEASE: Fredo enlists the help of his brother, LEONARDO, who lives out of state and left the family “business” to do other things. He agrees.
PANIC: DON BRUNO comes to FREDO in a dream promising him that he will see everyone he loves die before he dies his own horrible death.
HORROR: CECILIA gets tortured – DON BRUNO stalks her on the Las Vegas Strip tearing and slashing at her before cornering her and sucking her soul dry and breaking all of her bones. Takes some of her skin for himself.
RELEASE: Try to solve it – They go to Grandmother Sofia for answers.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
DON BRUNO stalks his victims – torturing them not knowing who is next
FREDO’S OFFICE – NIGHT
APPREHENSION: FREDO, LEONARDO, SASHA, AND BIANCA are all sitting in a circle. BIANCA pours some salt into a pile in the middle. She LIGHTS the circle around it. Will it work?
They are all sitting, legs crossed in a circle.
The wind is WAILING outside. THUNDER CRACKS.
FEAR: THUNDER CRACKS again.
FREDO tries to get up.
SURPRISE: LEONARDO is cut off. FREDO’S desk is thrown across the room.
SUSPENSE: Then, the walls start moving. There’s a LOUD BANGING.
FEAR: The picture of the whole family on the wall behind the desk is lifted, the glass is BROKEN. It is suspended mid-air.
HORROR: FREDO’S face getting scratched out from an unforeseen force. Then the rest of the family’s eyes bleed, one child’s head is cut off, and SASHA’S throat in the picture is cut.
DREAD: The picture starts to drip with real blood. The picture bursts into flames along with the desk. The three run out.
SUSPENSE: The spell didn’t work! How will they get away from Don Bruno?
They Flee – LEONARDO and BIANCA keep looking for answers. It is chaos.
FREDO’S HOME – DAY
RELEASE: The family is eating, trying to have some normalcy.
HORROR: ANTONIO SALVATORE (Fredo’s young twin boy) is killed. The Don makes Fredo watch again and to show the ferocity of THE DON’S anger. There are off-Screen, screams and begging to be spared – soul-sucking and bones crunching
RELEASE: LUCA bails – he goes to hide at his girlfriend’s house. He feels safe, for now.
Because he helped FREDO cover up the affair with CECILIA, although not in the bloodline – he is collateral damage and punctuates THE DON’S rage directed at FREDO’S actions
INT. FAMILY BUNKER/UNDER THE STRIP – Day
RELEASE: FREDO and his family head to the family bunker – it is extensive with many tunnels and rooms. They are able to get some rest.
HORROR: In the early morning hours, one of Fredo’s twins is savagely killed off-screen.
ACT III
INT. FAMILY BUNKER – NIGHT
FEAR: FREDO and his wife are fighting – she knows he did this – the affair, his narcissism, and power grab. FREDO fails to protect them or calm anyone down – everyone is scared.
HORROR: Fredo’s wife, SASHA is killed in front of him.
MONSTER REVEAL: DON BRUNO is patchworking the skin of his victims onto his face and arms. He is even gruesome and scarier now!
DREAD: FREDO is held against the wall and his eyes forcibly opened to watch DON BRUNO skin her alive and eat her flesh then cut a section and stick it on his neck.
PANIC: FREDO tries to appeal to DON BRUNO’S human side. He weeps and yells. He rushes away with CATERINA before DON BRUNO comes back.
INT. FAMILY BUNKER – LATER
RELEASE: Fredo and his only family member are left in the bunker, his daughter CATERINA. They are trying to hide from the DON. They think it is safe.
SURPRISE: LIGHTS FLASH and a SCREECH RINGS out. A light bulb POPS behind FREDO’S head. He jumps.
RELEASE: CATERINA looks behind him and it’s a bird. They both SIGH.
HORROR/SHOCK: DON BRUNO appears and SLITS CATERINA’S throat right in front of FREDO.
SURPRISE: The door SLAMS on its own and is locked.
FREDO crawls over to her body. She is still breathing, barely.
Blood is spurting all over his face and shirt. She coughs blood, for the last time.
DREAD: FREDO is frozen. DON BRUNO raises her body in the air. He PEELS FREDO’S eyelids open and forces them to stay that way. DON BRUNO crushes her bones to dust.
LEO and BIANCA join them in the BUNKER.
INT. FAMILY BUNKER – LATER
LEONARDO, BIANCA, AND FREDO are cornered in the bunker. Just as LEO thinks they should leave, the DON is back, all but full force!
SUSPENSE: FREDO tries to hide under a couple of the dead bodies, but DON BRUNO finds him.
HORROR: FREDO’S soul is sucked out and he is skinned and DON BRUNO takes his flesh to wear on his face. It’s the final blow to the bloodline
DREAD/HYSTERIA: DON BRUNO makes FREDO eat one of the pieces of flesh from his mangled/disgusting face. Then he skins him alive and eats his entrails.
RELEASE: LEONARDO and BIANCA try to devise one last attempt to escape. LEONARDO appeals to DON BRUNO’S human side – what’s left and strikes a deal.
FINALE: LEONARDO becomes the new Don – DON BRUNO’S debt is paid and he is at rest. LEONARDO and BIANCA leave the bunker. LEONARDO on the phone sets a meeting with his second cousin – ready to start giving souls for power and money.
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John Garofolo’s OUTLINE Version 1
Apologies for the length, but I wanted to make sure I made the deadline since this is the last session.
Best, John
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OAK PARK (aka BRIDAL PARTY)
OUTLINE V. 1
ACT I
1. INT. CROWDED BAR, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT
A YOUNG MAN and YOUNG WOMAN are clearly connecting. They’re conversation is flirtatious and indicates this is going somewhere tonight.
They finish their drinks, put on their coats and walk out the bar.
2. EXT. SIDEWALK, OAK PARK, IL – NIGHT
The couple walk arm in arm and continue flirting. They stop at an apartment building and kiss passionately before entering the building.
3. INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Horror Situation: The couple enters the bedroom and continues kissing and tearing clothes off and begins making love.
Apprehension: They don’t notice the presence that is in the apartment and watching from the partially open door.
Surprise: Suddenly the door bursts open by a figure in shadow.
Creepy Moment, Fear, Dread: The couple reason with the figure, apologize, try to calm things down.
Panic: The figure (POV) strangles the male lover. The girl, screaming in terror tries to escape.
Hysteria: She’s caught by the Shadowy figure and slowly strangled to death and then thrown back on the bed. Her lifeless face stares.
The murderer escapes.
************
POSSIBLE ADDITION: The next morning.
Adele, a pretty 20-year-old college student and roommate enter the apartment. She takes off her coat and hangs in the coat closet and heads to the kitchen.
She throws a couple of bottles of beer in the trash, goes to the refrigerator and peers in, looking to see what’s inside.
After a few moments, she closes the door and opens a cabinet, pulls out a bag of coffee and a filter and crosses over to the coffeemaker. She pulls the glass coffee pot out and then turns to the sink, runs the water and starts filling the pot.
She calls out Hey (Name), I’m making coffee do you want some?
She waits a moment for a reply…
Nothing.
While the coffee’s brewing she goes to her roommates bedroom and lightly knocks on the door.
She gently calls (Name) and pauses.
No answer.
To herself “That’s weird, she’s usually up by now).
She knocks LOUDER.
Knocks again.
“I’m coming in, so if you’ve got company, you better cover up.
She opens the door and sees—two dead bodies lying on the bed.
She SCREAMS.
*******
FIVE YEARS LATER…
4. INT. BRIDE TO BE’S FAMILY HOME (VARIOUS ROOMS) – DAY
A GROUP OF SEVEN YOUNG WOMEN, 20’s and the bride-to-be’s STEPMOTHER are getting ready for a family and friends co-ed bridal party. We learn about the characters through their discussion and are aware that the house is the family home of the bride-to-be and her stepmother, as well as see the group dynamics. After the dinner, they’re coming back to the house for an after-party with just the bride’s inner circle.
It’s October 30th.
The Master bedroom, bathroom, bride-to-be’s old bedroom and bathroom are crowded with garment bags, make-up kits and eight women trying to get ready to go out.
Surprise/Shock: There are several occasions where the bride-to-be and other bridesmaids are startled by people innocently walking into a room and were unseen or unheard because of their laser focus on putting on hair and make-up or can’t hear because of a very LOUD BLOW DRYER.
Creepy Moment: There’s also a discussion triggered by a group of howling coyotes, which, apparently, have become more of a concern, due to more sightings in the neighborhoods and small dogs being attacked or just disappearing.
5. INT. /EXT. FAMILY HOME – DAY (NEAR DUSK)
Horror Situation: Just before they’re ready to leave, there’s a knock at the door.
Creepy Moment: The bride-to-be and Maid of Honor answer the door and are surprised to see two adult sized trick-or-treaters a day early. One is dressed like Michael Meyers and the other is dressed like Jason Voorhees.
Apprehension: The bride-to-be is a little surprised when the two characters wordlessly put forth their pillowcases indicating they’d like a treat. The bride says, “aren’t you a little early for Halloween?” No answer. They push forth their bags.
Surprise: A couple of the other bridesmaids join them at the front door and react to the early bird trick-or-treaters’ scary looking costumes and assumed adult-size teenagers.
Suspense (maybe): The bride-to-be tells the two to wait a minute and calls for someone to get some candy bars from the counter. One of the four at the door runs back toward the kitchen and returns in a few beats with a handful of candy bars and puts it in the two bags and cheerfully ends with “Happy Early Halloween, boys.”
Creepy moment: Jason and Michael stand there for a moment before all the girls say “Happy Halloween.” in unison, when a chorus of coyote howls startle the bride-to-be and she shuts the door on them.
Creepy moment (they’re unsettled): They all look at each other and say things like “that was weird,” pretty big teenagers,” “coyotes creep me out.”
6. INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
We meet the FIANCÉ and learn more about all the characters. He’s quiet, but makes an effort to interact with the guests.
Creepy Moment (unsettling): An OLD BOYFRIEND shows up and corners the bride-to-be to tell her not to get married.
He asks if he can talk to the bride-to-be. She reluctantly agrees. He tells her she’s making a big mistake…there’s something off about her fiancé.
She doesn’t believe him and it’s getting awkward now. The Maid of Honor and several of the bridesmaids circle around the two of them. The bride-to-be tells the ex-boyfriend that it’s pretty despicable for him to trash talks her fiancé like that and she tells him to leave.
Creepy Moment: The old boyfriend leaves. But before he gets in his car, he sees the groom-to-be glaring at him in a way that makes him nervous.
The party guests have all left by now and the bridal party heads for the bride-to-be’s home.
7. EXT. OLD BOYFRIEND’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
POV:
Horror situation: Over a figure’s shoulder, a fisted hand KNOCKS on the DOOR.
It KNOCKS harder and LOUDER
From inside the apartment, the figure can hear the occupant say, “Hold on for Christ’s sakes. I’m coming. Gimme a minute.”
The door swings open.
Surprise: Robert, Samantha’s old boyfriend looks out and his eyes widen when he recognizes the figure standing outside his door.
Surprised, he asks, “What the hell are you doing’ here?”
Fear: His surprise turns to fear.
Shock/Dread/Panic: The figure pounces on Robert, grabs him and pushes him into the apartment, with a look of terror on his face as the door SLAMS shut.
The SOUNDS of a STRUGGLE are evident and Robert’s AD LIBBED protests become more MUFFLED as he fights back for a moment before a MUTED SCREAM. Then a THUMP.
Then silence.
ACT II
8. EXT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME – NIGHT
The bridal party goes back to the suburban house for the real party to open up the presents not suitable for family and friends outside the bridal party to see. The bridesmaid’s cars fill up the long drive way and they chitchat on the way into the house.
9. INT. BRIDE-TO-BE’S FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT
The party continues inside the house, primarily in the kitchen, dining and living rooms, where they are seated and opening up the rest of the presents and getting more drinks.
We learn more about the dynamics, relationships and underlying pettiness between the characters (of particular importance is the discussion that the groom-to-be was adamant about no sex before marriage).
The bride’s step mother, collects everyone’s cell phones to make sure that no evidence of the party gets out and car keys to make sure no one can leave or drive while intoxicated.
They open the presents and talk further about the wedding, honeymoon with some corny sex jokes thrown in to embarrass the bride to be. The presents include sexy lingerie, handcuffs and an extra large vibrator.
The groom-to-be shows up a little later, bringing an expensive bottle of champagne. AT this point, everybody’s happy. While the level of intoxication/impairment isn’t a the level of being fall-down drunk, they’re mostly coherent, but clearly impaired, which will impact their decision-making and ability to plan and execute their escapes when needed.
That being said, the groom-to-be seems perfectly sober and the stepmother of the bride-to-becomes an obnoxious drunk. The girls convince her it’s finally time for her to go to bed (and she’s intoxicated enough to get past the point of being argumentative.
10. INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT
When she gets into the master bedroom, the groom-to-be comes out of the master bathroom, apologizing profusely for startling her
Horror Situation: The stepmother tells the groom-to-be to stay, flirting, then, seducing him. At first, he tries to politely escape, but she persists and eventually, they end up on the bed, with the groom-to-be on top of her.
Suspense: When she reaches down and grabs between his legs, she literally flips a switch and the seduction turns deadly.
Creepy Moment: First, he tears at her clothes (which, at first, she thinks is merely rough sex play and reacts as such), (Apprehension/Surprise:) then he paws at he body, getting rougher and then grabs her throat as she finally grasps the fact that this isn’t a game.
Panic/Horror/Hysteria: Panic sets in and she fights to tear his hands from around her throat, thrashing her body wildly, to no avail. She’s slowly strangled to death.
Monster reveal: The monster is now unleashed.
11. INT. FAMILY HOME (LIVING ROOM) – NIGHT
Release: While the murder occurs, the party continues downstairs as if nothing happened (no one knows their was a murder).
Creepy Moment/Suspense: From this point on the monster engages in a cat and mouse game with the victims, who still aren’t aware that anything is going wrong.
Suspense: One of the bridesmaids decides to go use one of the upstairs bathrooms since the downstairs bathroom is occupied. She goes up stairs and snoops around, deciding to go into the Master Bedroom.
12. INT. MASTER BEDROOM (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT
Horror Situation: The room is empty, no sight of either the stepmother or killer. The bridesmaid (Apprehension/Suspense) looks around at things on the dresser, picks up a framed picture of the stepmother (perhaps, a boudoir photo), meanders through the room and enters the bathroom.
(Note–Potential Creepy Moment: Maybe there’s a shot of the step-mother’s lifeless body with eyes still open shoved under the bed looking out, seen by the audience, but not the nosy bridesmaid)
Monster reveal/Apprehension: The groom-to-be walks out of the closet wearing a dark trench coat and startles her. She nervously starts to stammer and chatter until she notices he’s carrying a gas mask.
Anxiety to Shock: He notices her looking at the gas mask, gives her an evil grin and pushes the bathroom door closed and pounces on her grabbing her throat with his free hand and strangles her to death (alternate: he wrestles her into the bathtub and chokes her while water from the faucet pours on her face). In either case, the victim’ reactions move from surprise, to dread to panic, then hysteria as she realizes she’s going to die.
When the groom-to-be finishes the murder, he stands in front of the mirror, looking at himself with a now, permanently etched, evil grin, putting on the gas mask and saying something like, “He’s back.” These will be the last words the killer speaks from now on.
13. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Release: The rest of the partiers are still not aware they’re in danger.
14. INT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT
Horror Situation: PLACEHOLDER for third murder and monster reveal.
Creepy Moments: Reaction: panic, terror, fighting back, this time there’s some NOISE that alerts the bridal party that’s something’s very wrong.
They investigate to see what’s going on.
Horror Situation: Apprehension/Dread: They go to the master bedroom and find the bride-to-be’s mother (step-mother), maybe positioned on the bed telegraphing it was a murder. They finally know they’re in big trouble.
Shock/Horror: They are disgusted, horrified, traumatized. But, they still have to solve the mystery. They look for their friends and fiancé.
Shock/Horror/Anguish: The bride-to-be is devastated at the realization her fiancé may have been killed or is the killer.
Anxiety/Panic: They can’t find their cell phones and can’t call 911, because the landline isn’t working, either. They realize they’re on their own.
15. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Fear/Suspense/Dread: While they’re looking for their phones, keys and other victims, Bridesmaid #3 runs outside to the closest neighbor’s house for help.
16. EXT. FAMILY HOME/NEIGHBOR’S HOME – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Hysteria: There’s no answer at the neighbors house, as she screams and knocks on the door. She knocks again, pleading. But there’s still no answer.
Anguish/Panic/Dread: She’s grabbed from behind by the killer and choked, but she manages to break free and tries to run back to the house, but is disoriented from the choking, she trips and staggers through the side gate (thinking she can escape the killer), trips again, but gets up and staggers through the second gate into a long side yard backing up against a hill (note: the killer never runs after the victims, his terrifying presence causes them to panic and make mistakes)
Dread/Horror/Hysteria: She’s pursued by the killer who doesn’t run, but methodically walks toward as she tries to escape, first by trying to climb over a wrought iron fence, but pauses when she hears a pack of coyotes howling nearby.
Anguish/Panic: The killer reaches for her and pulls her back and lets her escape.
Dread/Hysteria: She can’t move very fast but keeps going as she looks over her shoulder and sees the killer pursuing her.
(Hysteria) She reaches a small gate going into the backyard, but can’t seem to open it and climbs over the sharp pickets.
17. INT./EXT. FAMILY HOME – NIGHT
Horror Situation (cont’d.) Back inside the house, the rest of the bridal party continues searching the house looking for their other dead friend and the fiancé.
Fear: They’re so afraid they spook themselves, while they do their awkward search.
Panic/Horror: They’re all downstairs and decide to get out while they can and go to the front door to join their friend, whom they think has gotten help. But they can’t open the front door, it’s jammed shut and try and push the door open with no luck.
Dread/Hysteria: In the meantime, the other bridesmaid gets to the slider in the backyard patio and starts pounding on it, causing the bridesmaids inside the house to run to the family room.
Shock/ Horror: When they flip the light switch, illuminating the back yard, they see the killer standing right there, holding their friend who has a terrified expression on her face (makeup streaming down her face from her tears). Now that he has an audience, the killer strangles her while the girls inside the house, frozen in fear, they helplessly watch in horror.
Anguish/Shock: The killer drops the body to the ground and walks out of view. The four remaining survivors now decide to stay inside the house and hide since they can’t get outside and they can’t call for help.
ACT III
18. INT. FAMILY HOME (DOWNSTAIRS) – NIGHT
Horror Situation: The survivors split up and hide inside the house, one pair going upstairs the other remaining downstairs.
Horror/Hysteria: Two bridesmaids hiding in a downstairs closet are both terrified and do their best to calm themselves. It’s not working.
Suspense: The killer is somehow inside the house without making any noise. He stalks and finds the two panic-stricken survivors hiding downstairs as they try and make their escape.
Dread/Horror/Hysteria: He kills the two of them by strangling them and lifting them off the ground. They die together.
19. INT. FAMILY HOME (UPSTAIRS) – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Sam and Olivia, still in hiding, hear their friends being killed: and are riddled with panic, sorrow, guilt and shame.
Anguish/Apprehension: Now, the bride-to-be and the Maid of Honor are faced with a decision: fight or make a run for it.
Creepy Moment: The killer turns off all lights in the house and begins hunting for the remaining two.
Horror: The two survivors are terrified, but resign themselves to the fact that they have to fight to survive.
Suspense: The killer moves through the house, opening doors, peering inside, slamming them shut (for effect).
He finds them waiting for him and they fight with tenacity and anger, both taking one hell of a pounding, but finally the two women get an advantage and one of them hits him with whatever heavy or sharp object they have and the killer goes down.
Release: After the fight, the two survivors are exhausted, in shock, express sorrow, anguish and simultaneous guilt mixed with relief they’ve survived.
20. INT. BEDROOM CLOSET – NIGHT
Olivia and Sam think they’ve won the fight.
Release: They pull themselves up and see the killer’s body on the floor and feel a sense of relief.
But, they’re physically and emotionally drained and can’t even bring themselves to speak.
Exhaustion: Sam stops and stands over the killer for a moment.
They head back to the master bedroom to look around.
21. INT. MASTER BEDROOM – NIGHT
Anguish: They both stop when they see the two dead bodies on the bed.
Sam rummages through the nightstand drawer and finds two flashlights and illuminates them.
Monster Reveal/Shock: Sam flashes the light at Olivia, illuminating the killer.
Horror: She SCREAMS.
Olivia turns in horror and sees the killer as he grabs her. It’s round two of their life or death fight.
The killer chokes Olivia.
Sam runs towards them and starts wailing on the killer until he lets Olivia go and turns his attention to Sam.
He lunges for her and subdues her, as Olivia tries to catch her breath.
Olivia then looks for a weapon…any weapon that can help.
Sam bites hard on his hand and he lets her go–she quickly collects herself and throat punches the killer, which seems to stun him. But, she collapses on the ground from exhaustion.
Olivia then runs out of the closet carrying what looks like a sword and stabs the killer from behind.
She pulls the sword out and is stunned to see the killer turn toward her and grabs her throat before she can stab him again.
He strangles her even harder than before and finally kills her.
The killer drops to both knees and after a moment falls face forward to the floor.
Sam, barely coherent, pulls herself off the floor and crawls over to her friend.
She sobs heavily as she caresses her best friend’s body, holding her tight to her chest and passes out.
A few moments later when she returns to consciousness, still holding onto Olivia’s lifeless body, she realizes something is wrong…
Suspense/Panic/Dread: The killer is not in the room.
Filled with dread, but also determined to avenge the deaths of her friends, she pulls herself off the ground and starts searching for the killer (this is the moment where she decides to avenge all the deaths).
22. INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT
Horror Situation: (FIGHT TO THE DEATH OR DIE TRYING): Armed with a flashlight and her baseball bat, she slowly goes downstairs, listening, finally hearing a loud noise coming from the garage.
She goes to the laundry room door/entrance to the garage, pauses for a moment, then slowly opens it and peers inside.
23. INT. LAUNDRY ROOM – NIGHT
Apprehension: The small room is clear.
Apprehension: She slowly opens the second door that opens to the garage.
24. INT. GARAGE (FIRST BAY) – NIGHT
Suspense: She enters the garage and tiptoes through the storage shelves.
It’s completely packed with boxes and overflowing storage shelves making a dangerous maize-like path.
Suspense: She stumbles through the garage. She knows he’s there. But doesn’t know where.
Suspense: She heads toward the next door opening to the two-car garage space.
Surprise: She hears something drop ahead of her and changes direction. She quickly opens the door.
25. INT. GARAGE (TWO-CAR BAY) – NIGHT
Apprehension: She moves very deliberately through the mass of stuff on the floor, tripping and trying
Suspense: She presses on slowly until she gets to where she last heard the sound. But, no one’s there.
Monster Reveal: She turns to the left and, in an instant, he pounces on her grabbing her from behind, puts her in a choke hold and wrestles the bat away from her.
She struggles to break the hold, throwing elbows, reaching around to grab anything.
She’s almost out of air and about to pass out.
With one final effort, she manages to kick him with her heel in the groin and he releases his grip.
She tries to catch her breath and searches for her baseball bat, but finds a screwdriver on the garage floor and desperately grabs hold of it.
He recovers and grabs her again and pulls her off the floor and tries to get her in a chokehold. She stabs at him with the screwdriver and hits her mark, causing him to release her.
She struggles to find the baseball bat on the floor…this time she finds it, grabs it and swings away striking a killing blow.
She hits him again to make sure he’s dead this time.
Release: She slowly backs away from the body until she bumps into a shelf and turns around and hurries out of the garage back into the relative safety of the house.
It’s finally over.
-
Douglas Ryan’s Horror outline
What I learned from this assignment is that no matter how many times I had an idea of my story I changed it every step so that it would fit and or make sense along the way with the scenes I had already written. The good thing is all subsequent versions and cuts I saved so if I wanted to go back and add or take something away I can effortlessly.
INT – XENO’S HOUSE/OFFICE- NIGHT
1. DR XENO 50’s a small town optometrist is awoken for a house call. SHERIFF MASON is at the door with her brother DAN, who was in a bar fight and his eye is popping out. Xeno helps Dan by removing his eye even though he is not an eye surgeon. Mason notices that Xeno is unfazed by the mans cries of pain, but shrugs it off and leaves to handle the rest of the bar incident. Xeno asks if he can keep the eye for testing, Dan agrees, and passes out. Xeno puts the eye in his eye room.
Horror Situation: Xeno is unfazed by the man’s screams or the uncomfortableness of the Sheriff when he extracts the dangling eye.
Horror- Dan’s eye is out of socket
Apprehension- Xeno says he’s not a surgeon but wants the eye.
Creepy Moment- Xeno’s eye room.2. EXT- TOWN- DAY
Mason is driving around the town and gets a call on the radio telling her to pick up DANIELLA 17, for her guardian. She sees her son LEVI, and STUART (Xeno’s son) and ask if they have seen her. Levi tells his mom Daniella is at the coffee shop. Mason leaves to the coffee shop, waving and saying hi to random townies. This establishes how small the town is.
3. INT/EXT- COFFEE SHOP/SIDEWALK
Daniella orders a coffee, Xeno is behind her waiting to order. She takes her time angering the other customers. She enjoys this. Xeno has a word with her and stares at her intensely, she calls him a creep and goes outside. She sees a BOY (9) trying to burn ants with his glasses and the sun. She tells him he is cruel and not to do that. The Boy tells her off, Xeno comes from out of nowhere and pulls the Boy up and intensely tell him to treat his glasses better. The Boy calls for his mom. Xeno tells Daniella to have her guardian take her for an exam, she is very creeped out by him. Mason arrives and tells her to head home, when Daniella tries to tell her that he is creepy, Mason explains why Xeno is a trusted and respected member of the community and she is a punk ward of the state. Many townsfolk look on and nod their heads.
Horror situation: Dr Xeno tells the boy to take care of his eyes or he could lose them, he looks at Daniella while he says this.
Creepy Moment- He tells Daniella she has good eyes.
Shock- He tells the boy to take care of his eyes and glasses.
Dread- Mason tells her Xeno is a member of community she isn’t4. EXT- SUBURUB SIDEWALK- DAY
Daniella trudges up a hill with Stuart. They talk about how creepy his dad is. She feels as though someone is following them. There is, Levi jumps out from a hedge scaring them both. He picks on Stuart a bit and puts his arm around Daniella. She elbows him in the chest causing him to drop back and apologize. Levi professes that he is totally infatuated with her and they should date. Stuart frowns and looks at the ground. Daniella notices and emphatically declines Levi.
5. EXT- SIDEWALK- DAY
Xeno walks along smiling and waving at the different townsfolk. He sips his coffee as he mentally takes note of all the people that need to see him for exams. He is stopped by an antique store owner, JOE, who shows him an antique eye exam lens set. Xeno smiles, and says he’ll take it but asks for it to be delivered because he has to get back to work.
6. INT- WARD HOUSE- NIGHT
Daniella comes home and is met with a smack from her foster mom BETTY telling her she is late. Her foster dad SAM whisks her away and tells her he is sorry for Betty’s behavior and for her to do her bible study before her homework. She ignores the first part and does her homework, advanced calculus, establishing that she is a smart kid.
Horror Situation: Daniella comes home to abuse and overtly religious foster parents.
Shock- she is smacked and told to read the Bible.
Anguish- she is semi comforted but still told to do what she is told.
Surprise- She doesn’t do what she is told and studies calculus.7. INT-XENO’S HOUSE-NIGHT
Stuart comes home and goes to check on his mom MARY, 55, who sits in front of a window. Her eyes are hidden by her hair, he kisses her cheek and tells her about his day and how he has a crush on Daniella. Xeno comes upstairs from his home office. He holds an eye in a jar. He tells Stuart to put it away in the eye room. Stuart does as he is told listening to his dad yell at his mom telling her how much he is doing for her and he needs “more instruction” as he is having a difficult time.
8. INT- EYE CLINIC- DAY
DR. JOHNSON, 40, is talking to patients waiting for a free eye checkup. She greets Xeno as he walks in and says there are detectives waiting in his office. He greets DETECTIVE MARCUS, and DETECTIVE SMITH, he thinks they are there for the bar fight man. Marcus says they are there because some people that came to the clinic were murdered and shows him pictures. They victims all have their eyes surgically removed. Xeno tells them that it looks like the person was attempting surgery but didn’t know how to do it. They speak to Johnson, she says that Xeno is not a surgeon but his wife once was. Xeno is with a child patient and creeps the kid out with his eye shake. The kid runs to his mom and is crying. Johnson says she’ll give the kid the exam and for Xeno to take a break.
Horror Situation: Cops visit Xeno about murders
Suspense- Xeno plays it off about murders.
Apprehension- Marcus notices something about Xeno
Fear- Xeno’s eye shake scares the child.
Dread- Xeno realizes Marcus sees who he is.9. INT/EXT- MARCUS’S CAR-DAY
Marcus is intrigued by Xeno, Smith tells him to leave it alone, and he might be a weird dude but he doesn’t fit the profile for the killer. Marcus says he fits it as he knew the victims. They get a call on the radio, and take off to look at another dead body. Smith tells Marcus that she doesn’t want him to be wrong again and that could jeopardize his promotion. He reluctantly agrees as they pull up to the murder scene.
10. EXT- MURDER SITE- DAY
The detectives walk up and see the dead body of a biker, the CORONER rolls him over to reveal he is missing an eye, and that he’s been there for at least a day. Unlike the previous victims, his eye was removed with care.
Horror Situation: Body of Biker
Suspense- Is it Mason’s brother?
Surprise- It isn’t
Horror- He has no eyes.
Anguish- The cops know they have a serial killer.ACT 2
11. INT- XENO’S OFFICE- DAY
Daniella is brought to Xeno’s for an exam, Betty is preaching to Xeno and asking why he hasn’t come to church. He says he feels he has offended god and is choosing to pray at home. He takes Daniella back for her exam. It is normal until he notices something about her eyes. They are perfect, and she has perfect vision. His eye starts to shake and it makes Daniella feel uncomfortable. He tells her to relax and the Boy from the other day walks in with his mom, who demands that he check her son right now. Xeno obliges and while doing the air puff test he stares at Daniella and puffs the Boy’s eyes until he is crying. The mother causes a scene and Daniella tells her it was Xeno’s fault. Betty bursts in and says that Daniella is a heathen and liar, in the commotion Stuart comes in and takes Daniella out of there. Xeno invites Betty back for a free exam after hours, she accepts.
Horror situation: Xeno creeps Daniella out about her eyes being perfect, then hurts a little boy with eye puff machine.
Creepy moment- Xeno gets too close for comfort.
Fear- Daniella can’t escape and he is hurting her
Anxiety- She is trapped, mentally and physically
Terror- Xeno reveals his nature by hurting the boy
Horror- The boy’s eye is severely damaged Xeno is unaffected12. EXT- DAY- TOWN SQUARE
Stuart, Levi and Daniella hang out and discuss how creepy Stuart’s dad is and how messed up Betty is. Daniella is biding her time until she’s 18 and off to college. Levi is all happy to stay in the town, Stuart wants to leave but is afraid of what his dad will do to his mom. Betty shows up at takes Daniella away from the boys and calls them names.
13. INT- POLICE STATION- NIGHT
Smith and Marcus sit at their desks. Marcus is looking up Xeno and finds that he was involved in an accident seven years ago. Smith says he’s obsessed and needs to calm down, and she found out the name of the victim. She says he was involved in a bar fight with Mason’s brother and that they should give her a call. Marcus says he’ll do it tomorrow.
14. INT-NIGHT-XENO’S OFFICE
Xeno gets Betty back to a different room and tells Daniella to wait in the waiting room. Stuart is there he gets her to come upstairs and meet his mom. He professes his love for her and trying to leave she finds the eye room. She runs out the door. Betty is told she didn’t take care of her glasses and is strapped into the torture chair, Xeno dilates her eyes until blindness. She passes out and he turns on a tutorial of how to remove an eye and proceeds to remove both her eyes and plop them into jars. They are still dilated.
Horror situation: Xeno gets Betty for an after hours eye exam and kills her.
Suspense- Will he get Daniella?
Surprise- Daniella goes with Stuart.
Shock- Betty is strapped into a chair
Panic- Her eyes are forcefully dilated
Hysteria- Xeno reveals himself to Betty
Dread- Betty doesn’t want to die
Terror- He tortures her by removing her eyes
Panic- Daniella hears all the shouting and tries to leave
Fear/Shock- She finds the Eye Room, Stuart helps her leave.MIDPOINT
15. INT- WARD HOUSE- DAY
Sam wakes Daniella and asks where Betty is, she doesn’t know. They call Xeno he says she left. They call Mason who says she’s probably off the wagon again and in some bar sleeping it off. Sam doesn’t think so and Daniella tells them about the eye room. Mason tells her it’s of no concern.
16. INT-SHERIFFS OFFICE- DAY
Marcus shows up and asks Mason about Xeno. She tells him that she likes her community and that Xeno is weird but he’s a respected member of the community and no killer. He asks where her brother is as the guy responsible for the bar fight was found dead and eye removed. She says her brother isn’t responsible. Marcus doesn’t care and wants to talk to him himself as he is a suspect and the Sheriff should know that being a peace officer. Mason says check the town bar he might be there.
17. EXT- ROAD- DAY
Marcus checks out a car in the woods near Xeno’s house, it’s Betty’s car.
18. EXT- XENO’S HOUSE- DAY
Marcus checks out the house and notices that there is 3 entries to the house. He checks the cellar door that is locked. Xeno comes out and asks him what he is doing at his house. Marcus asks about the car and who’s it might be. Xeno says it’s been there for weeks and nobody has done anything about it. Marcus notices security cameras and asks to see footage, Xeno shows him that they are dummy cams to keep people honest. Sam and Daniella show up and demand to know where Betty is. Marcus asks what car she drives, it’s the same car down the road Marcus gets them all to go check it out.
19. EXT-ROAD-DAY
Sam says that’s Betty’s car, he opens the back and finds an empty bottle of vodka. Daniella doesn’t believe it and tells Marcus about the eye room. Marcus asks to see it, Xeno refuses but says it was a research facility before his wife had a terrible accident causing her to retire. Mason shows up and tells them all to leave. Marcus gives Sam and Daniella his card before leaving.
Horror situation: Betty’s car is found but not her.
Fear- Is she alive?
Surprise- A bottle of vodka is found,
Dread- Betty has fallen off the wagon
Anxiety- Sam needs to find her before it’s too late
Hysteria- Daniella knows Xeno did something to her
Apprehension- Mason tells them all to leave it alone and Betty will be found.20. INT-BAR-DAY
Marcus goes to interrogate Mason’s brother Dan. Marcus asks about his eye and Dan tells him about the incident and says he didn’t kill the guy. He says Xeno is a weird guy but a good guy because he hooked him up with a cool glass eye, but that Xeno could be capable of taking someones eye. Mason shows up and tells her brother to stop talking. Marcus says he has enough and leaves.
INT-CLINIC- DAY
Xeno is distraught and sees a homeless man in the waiting room. He asks the man if he would like a meal and a free exam. The Homeless Man says he will work for it. Xeno tells him to meet him at a bus stop later. Johnson watches the exchange and takes notes, she calls Marcus and lets him know what she saw.
Horror situation: Xeno is upset at the clinic and asks a homeless man to accompany him to his practice.
Suspense- Will the Man say yes?
Shock- He says yes.
Surprise- Dr. Johnson calls Marcus
Anxiety- Will Xeno find out?21. EXT/INT XENO’S HOUSE/OFFICE
Daniella convinces Levi to help her stake out Xeno. As they sit outside waiting he drives up with a HOMELESS MAN, and takes him through a cellar door. The kids follow them inside. They witness him murdering the man and escape. They get Mason she goes to check it out. Xeno takes her to the body and kills her as she tries to handcuff him. He knocks out her son and straps Daniella to the chair. She screams until Stuart rescues her.
Horror situation: Daniella and sheriff’s son see the homeless man being brought in and witness his murder.
Suspense- Levi and Daniella watch Xeno bring him in the cellar door.
Panic- The Homeless man realizes what is about to happen.
Anxiety- The teens hear what is happening.
Shock- They watch as Xeno kills him.
Fear- They need to get out before he sees them
Dread- He almost catches themHorror situation: Mason and Levi are killed and Daniella is captured.
Apprehension- Mason thinks the kids are pulling her leg.
Shock- Xeno shows her the body
Panic- Mason tries to arrest him
Horror- Xeno kills Mason as the kids watch, he dispatches Levi
Fear- Daniella tries to run but is captured and strapped into the chair
Surprise- Stuart rescues her and they run
Terror- Xeno gets Levi and kills him.ACT 3- FULL OUT HORROR
22. INT/EXT – WARD HOUSE – NIGHT
Daniella and Stuart make it back to her foster house. Sam sees them in fear and asks what is wrong. They tell him the story and he says he’ll check on it, then notices Xeno at the end of the driveway. Sam confronts Xeno about the killings and is killed by Xeno quickly. Xeno enters the house and attacks the kids. Stuart punches his dad and knocks him out. He tells Daniella they have to go back and get his mom. Daniella calls Marcus and tells him what happened. Xeno stands up and watches them leave.
Horror situation: Xeno appears at the end of the driveway, Sam confronts him.
Fear- The kids watch as Sam goes to talk to Xeno
Apprehension- Sam doesn’t know what to make of Xeno covered in blood.
Shock- Sam and kids are shocked when Xeno kills him.
Hysteria- As Xeno enters the house they are trapped.
Panic- Stuart fights his dad
Surprise- Stuart wins and they run to get his mom.23. INT/EXT XENO’S HOUSE-NIGHT
Marcus is outside, hiding, waiting for Xeno and watches Daniella and Stuart arrive. The kids try to convince Mary to leave she keeps them occupied until Xeno shows up. Stuart hides Daniella in the kitchen while he runs to get the evidence against his dad. Marcus attempts to cuff Xeno, and is bested and killed by him. Daniella tries to get Marcus’s gun but Xeno gets it first and tries to shoot her. She ducks as Stuart gets to the top of the stairs, he is killed by his dad. She has no choice but to head to the basement.
Horror situation: Xeno kills Marcus and Stuart, Daniella is forced to run further into the house.
Suspense- Marcus is using the kids as bait for Xeno.
Panic- The kids can’t find Mary.
Hysteryia- Mary doesn’t want to leave, Stuart wants her to, Daniella wants to leave her.
Dread- Xeno arrives blocking their car.
Anxiety- Stuart does’t want to leave his mom but says he will come back for her.
Fear- Mary scares the kids with her answers
Panic- Stuart hides Daniella in the kitchen and he goes to get evidence against his dad.
Suspense- Xeno comes in and is looking for Daniella.
Fear- Does he see her?
Terror- He does.
Horror- He kills Marcus and prevents Daniella from getting his gun.
Suspense- Daniella gets her chance and runs to Stuart.
Horror- She ducks and Xeno shoots Stuart.24. INT- OFFICE- NIGHT
Daniella is saved by a misfire of the gun. Xeno follows her down the stairs, she makes her way to the exit. She almost makes it, Mary sneaks up on her, and Daniella sees she is blind. Mary drugs her, and before she passes out she hears Xeno and Mary talking about surgery and that he has the perfect eyes for her. They both blame their son for not ducking and getting shot.
Horror situation: Daniella is confronted by Xeno and Mary.
Suspense- Xeno tries to shoot Daniella but the gun misfires.
Panic- Daniella runs to find the exit.
Surprise- she gets to the exit, but Mary is behind her.
Shock- Mary is blind, and drugs her.
Anguish- Mary and Xeno talk about what they are going to do.
Horror- They are going to use Marcus’s eyes for a transplant to Mary.
Terror- Daniella passes out.25. INT-HOSPITAL-DAY
Daniella wakes up in a hospital bed, Detective Smith is there. Smith asks her what she remembers and Daniella tells her about the eyes and how they were going to cut hers out for Mary. Smith tells her that the house was burned down and they found her outside the house. Smith says her boss likes Daniella for the murders and arson, but they are waiting on her toxicology report to come in to prove her story. Smith says that she believes her but Xeno and Mary are most likely dead because they found 4 bodies and one was her partner, another was the son and id’s are not back on the other two, waiting on dental records. Smith leaves with a nurse to get the report. Another nurse comes in and messes with her IV. Daniella sees the nurse’s face but it’s too late, she screams as the nurse is Mary puts her to sleep saying, “only one took, so we still need another.” Smith opens the door and can’t figure out why the nurses’ eye looks so familiar. She holds the door and tells a frantic Daniella it will be fine that they are taking her for a rape test. Smith waves bye to her as the door closes.
Horror situation: A nurse comes into Daniella’s room, it’s Mary!
Suspense- A nurse comes in and it’s not Mary.
Fear- After Smith leaves, a new nurse comes in humming.
Terror- It’s Mary!
Hysteria- Daniella tries to stop Mary but is too drugged.
Dread- Smith doesn’t see who it is.
Anguish- Daniella can’t speak as Smith sends her to her death. -
Hello Douglas, Larry, Camie,
Since it looks like we’re the only one’s that have submitted an outline thus far, I thought I’d reach out to all three of you.
I’m happy to take a look at your outlines and offer feedback (since that seems to be the feedback mechanism) if you’re interested. Of course I’m happy to get some feedback myself, so, if you’re up for it, that would be great, too.
That being said my outline is a little on the long side, since, at this point, I’m really trying to flesh out the story and I tend to want to understand where the scenes going. So, this draft is not intended to something I would send out for public consumption.
Please let me know if you’d like to swap outlines.
Have a nice weekend.
Best,
John Garofolo
-
Hello Douglas, Larry, Camie,
Since it looks like we’re the only one’s that have submitted an outline thus far, I thought I’d reach out to all three of you.
I’m happy to take a look at your outlines and offer feedback (since that seems to be the feedback mechanism) if you’re interested. Of course I’m happy to get some feedback myself, so, if you’re up for it, that would be great, too.
That being said my outline is a little on the long side, since, at this point, I’m really trying to flesh out the story and I tend to want to understand where the scenes going. So, this draft is not intended to something I would send out for public consumption.
Please let me know if you’d like to swap outlines.
Have a nice weekend.
Best,
John Garofolo
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