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Day 15 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
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10 Replies
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Lisandro Boccacci’s Height of the Emotion
1. Silas is sitting in the back of the wagon, parents pulling by horse, heading towards the trail, out the back he sees what will be the last time he will ever see his home. tears in eyes, soldiers raiding the home… very emotional… after being forced to leave.. at gun point… by the American soldiers. His mom could be back in the wagon with Silas… she could say something like..”ill be yours forever… Silas… you’ll never lose us.. I promise” Silas turns to his moms chest and cries…
2. the moment that it rains and the puddle forms… enough water for Silas to drink water…
“”
3. the moment that Silas digs deep into the dirt, to get to the roots… with the bulbs full of water, its the first time that Silas is successful.
I did it…
4. the moment that Silas kills the wild boar… he offers the spirits, thanks,
5. the moment Silas sees his mother after being lost..
he screams! MAMA!
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Laura Hyler’s Height of Emotion Assignment 15 4/23/22
What I learned doing this assignment is that is not that easy to come up with dialogue that is pithy when attempting to deliberately do so.
1) Pg. 3 Anger and hurt feelings not only over break up, but also Greg has a new woman only one week later.
“Relationships are not Happy Meals, Greg” -Naomi (referencing the speed at which he is with someone else).
2) Pg. 42 Kofi is angry with Isaac for leaving Naomi out of his wedding invitations.
“I don’t look for racism, but I expect it. But I didn’t expect it from you!”- Kofi
3) Pg. 45 Naomi is annoyed with Letitia because she is not ready, and she’s wasting time.
“There’s nothing old about you, I just saw you on Tik Tok!” Naomi
4) Pg. 68 Kofi is angry with Naomi after he discovers that he wasn’t invited to her sister’s wedding. Naomi says that her sister is misguided.
“And you think that you’re not misguided by not telling me? That’s like sending someone into enemy territory with no armor. Seriously, Naomi, just ignore problems and maybe they’ll just go away?”
5) Pg. 68 Naomi’s response to Kofi
“What did you want me to say? That I may have some closet racist relatives, but I don’t know who they are?”
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Your story caught my interest. I found it interesting. Must read more.
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Sherwen Moore Assignment 15a Subject: Height of the Emotion What I learned from this assignment is that profound lines can be very subjective. This might be the only assignment where it would be very helpful for me to get insight from the facilitators if I’m doing this right or not. It seems very important to the script.
1. Al has taken Mark’s gun and handcuffed him to the radiator. Mark is denying that he shot Charles. Al doesn’t believe him. They go back and forth. Tension is building. Al asks him, “What is this about?” Mark angrily says,
“I’m not your enemy, stop talking to me like I’m white, talk to me like I’m you. Al says, “You’re not me.” Mark shakes his handcuffs defiantly and with pent up rage and humiliation,
“I am you”
Meaning: Mark wants Al to know, in this moment, he is actually experiencing what it feels like to be falsely accused and handcuffed like a black man.
2. Mark talks to Al about how Tom, his partner, badly disrespects Tyrone. In spite, Tyrone decided to nix the deal and get back at Tom by keeping the money.
Mark says, “A man can just take so much disrespect, badge or no badge.”
Meaning: Disrespect has its limits, even with the police.
3. Al is visiting Charles in the hospital. All indications are that Charles is going to live. Charles wants to talk about the white policeman that shot him. He thinks about the question in class that Al never got a chance to answer.
Charles: “Mr. Allen, why do they hate us so much?” Al says, “Racism is like a mustard stain on a white shirt: it’s hard to get it out.”
Meaning: It’s not easy to explain and not easy to eradicate.
4. Al has done some research and basically has all the facts. Al tells Candice, his journalist fiancée, everything. Al says, “Write this story like the naked truth and a lie went on a blind date”
Meaning: Expose everyone by telling the truth.
5. Mark has reconnected with Al and they both know what really happened and what needs to happen. Al says “karma will be our equal justice”
Meaning: Equal justice will come one way or another.
Assignment15 b Building Meaning over Multiple Experiences
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are lines that can be used more than once and have significant meaning each time. The challenge is how profound are the lines? Do they make a difference in the script? Once again, this is definitely an exercise where dialogue with the facilitator could be helpful if requested.
“Karma will be our equal Justice”
1. Al is leaving his job with the FBI citing discrimination and white privilege. Another black FBI agent talks with him as he is packing up to leave, wishing he would stay.
2. Al is talking with his brother about helping Mark because he is being set up by his partner to take the ‘fall’. Mark’s brother is saying not to get involved since he escaped without them arresting him at the scene. Al reassures his brother that everything will be alright.
3. Al is at a meeting downtown to clear Mark from the allegations made. Proof is entered that frees Mark but there are other extenuating circumstances he must deal with.
“A man can just take so much disrespect, badge or no badge.”
1. Mark talking to Al about how Tom disrespects Tyrone.
2. Mark visiting Tyrone in jail.
“Wisdom is more than just knowing something”
1. Guest speaker at Mark’s graduation from the police academy
2. Mark to his wife about the streets
3. Mark to Al trying to figure things out.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by Sherwen Moore.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 1 month ago by
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Sherri D. Coffee – Height of the Emotion
What I learned doing this assignment was to brainstorm lines to demonstrate the emotional moment with deeper meaning.
1. Emotion: “Not good enough” Kathryn gathers advocates to support legislation. When they begin advocating for other causes, she feels inadequate and begins to doubt her project. She becomes silent and listens as each advocate spouts a social injustice in need of attention. She validates each of the advocates and brings them back to her issue. “All of the issues we have discussed are very important to all of us. And all of the issues we have discussed impact the people we care about. But if we try to work on all of the issues at once, we will lose our power to make an impact. So, for this session, can we try to work on this once issue to see if we as a collective force can make a difference? Because if we can make a difference on this one, then we can grow our collective power to make a difference on all of the issues. “
2. Emotion: “Disappointment in reality” Kathryn attends happy hour with a group of lobbyists. She listens to the cynical portrayal of the “system”. She is disappointed to find that many of the powerful lobbyists have limited interest in the cause and are more focused on their own compensation. She asks naively, “Don’t you care what your clients’ cause means to our country?”
3. Emotion: “Fear” When Kathryn discovers her friend Liz is trying to set her up with a lawmaker, she runs. She pretends to receive a call and steps away to the ladies’ room as she ponders her predicament. She returns to find her “date” waiting. And in the most diplomatic way, delivers her exit. “Hi, it is so nice to meet you, but I have an issue that cannot wait.” She turns to Liz, “you know Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.” She resorts to humor to defuse her fear.
4. Emotion: “Anger” Kathryn confronts Liz. “Look, you may be interested in dating married politicians, I am not. I did not bust my ass to get through law school to be someone’s “good fuck for a session.”
5. Emotion: “Proud” Kathryn watches as the advocates present the information to support the legislation. She turns to her boss, “is this what if feels like to be a proud parent?”
Assignment 2:
1. “you know Scarlett, tomorrow is another day.” Kathryn first speaks at the bar with Liz to diffuse an awkward situation. She uses the line as a way of stating her “Scarlett O’hara” moment to postpone any decision or action. She buys time to find a solution based on logic vs impulse. When the legislation fails to pass the full legislature, Kathryn turns to the advocates, “Well Scarlett, tomorrow really is another day and another chance.”
2. Kathryn starts to label some of the lobbyists. “Fuck for a session” “Biggest baddest” “Useful” “Above board” “Secret Agenda man” “closers” “rain maker” to evaluate who she can trust. The end of the session reveals some twists in her initial assessment and the one least trustful becomes the most trustful.
3. Kathryn first enters the capital and is reminded by her boss not to speak of anyone or any policy in case someone is listening. “Silent Kathryn” She responds “game face, show time”. By the end of the session, she walks in the capital and turns to her boss, “game face, show time, how was your vacation?”
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Laura Hyler’s Height of the Emotion-Build Meaning Over Multiple Experiences Day 15.2
What I learned doing this assignment is that doing this exercise has helped me see how I can improve the quality of the dialogue, adding interest to the content.
1) The first line that I want to build deep meaning around is “Come over to the dark side.”
a) On page 10, in an exchange between Tommy and Naomi where he is trying to get her to go out with him.
b) On page 25, when Cal, the brother of Naomi’s friend chides her about being out with a “brotha.”and asks her if she’s gone over to the dark side.
c) In the final pages of the screenplay, in a conversation between Naomi and Kofi, where he jokingly invites her to “come over to the dark side.”
The arc of this line goes from the antagonist trying to get a date, to friend teasing her about her dating choices, to her boyfriend being flirtatious.
2) The second line that I would like to build deep meaning around is “It’s all about decisions.”
a) Page 28-An exchange between Jeanine and Naomi, in which Jeanine confronts Naomi about her reluctance to commit to seeing Kofi again, and Jeanine says, “It’s all about decisions.”
b) Page 50- An exchange between Naomi and her sister, Charlie, after Naomi tells Charlie that she will not be her maid of honor, and Charlie responds, “It’s all about decisions.”
c) Page 64- when Naomi meets an older man en route to her sister’s wedding. She meets the man’s wife who is African American. While talking, the wife makes a reference,
“It’s all about decisions.”
The arc of this phrase goes from a friend trying to get Naomi to examine her own thoughts about her situation, to a heated discussion between Naomi and her sister regarding the wedding, in which Naomi decides not to be her sister’s maid of honor, to an interracial couple that Naomi meets. The wife makes a passing comment, “It’s all about decisions.”
3) The third line I want to build deep meaning around is: I don’t look for racism, but I’ve come to expect it.
a) Page 42-exchange between Kofi and Isaac when Kofi discovers that Isaac and Cherie left Naomi out of the invitation. Kofi admonishes Isaac.
b) Page 49-Exchange between Naomi and Charlie. Naomi is angry with Charlie for leaving Kofi out of the invitation.
c) Line between Kofi and Naomi- when Kofi admonishes Naomi for her naivete.
The arc of this line goes from a friend admonishing his best friend, to Naomi expressing her disappointment in her sister, to an exchange Kofi and Naomi, where Kofi is angry that Naomi seems to think racism doesn’t exist, or choses to ignore it.
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Brenda’s Height of the Emotion – Assignment 1
What I learned doing this assignment is this is a good technique to try and come up with a profound line. My screenplay is not written, so I had to imagine what the character would say in the scene. I can see using this technique after the screenplay is written when a writer tries to make sure every line of dialogue reflects the character. You could look at the emotional scenes for each character and make sure the dialogue reflects how the character would say it and if the line reflected the meaning of the scene.
What are the five most emotional moments in my story structure?
1. When the daughter tells the mother the broken doll is me – the emotion in the scene is the daughter is angry at the mother. The essence of the scene is the child feels broken.
a. “I’m like this doll – she doesn’t work right.”
2. When the uncle/brother talks to the child and tells her to do the treasure hunt with her mother – The child is desperate to leave the hospital and wants the uncle to talk to the mother. The essence of the scene is the uncle wants to tell the child but can’t.
a. “Sometimes the best thing in life is too just follow the plan.”
3. When the nurse and the mother talk about the child – the women are in competition for the child’s affection. The essence of the scene is the mother tells the nurse to leave her child alone.
a. “I’m her mother. I birthed her and I’m the one who will bury her.”
4. When the brother confronts his sister about the child – the brother wants his sister to tell the daughter the truth about what’s going on with her, the emotion is love the brother feels for his sister and his niece.
a. “She needs to hear the truth so she can decide her own future.”
5. When the child tells the mother to admit she stayed away because you were ashamed of me – the emotion is shame.
a. “You stayed away because I’m not your perfect little girl anymore.”
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Brenda Builds Meaning with Dialogue – Assignment 2
What I learned doing this assignment is this technique is a great way to show a character’s arc. You can have the character repeat a line and have the line change the meaning over time. I saw this technique used in the movie “Enchanted April”. Lady Caroline wanted to go to Italy for vacation because she was so tired of people grabbing her. She says this line 2 or 3 times in the movie. Then we see her tell the owner of the Italian Villa Mr. Briggs, that she needed to grab him. It’s an interesting reversal for Lady Caroline who didn’t want to be grabbed and we now see her grabbing someone with a smile on her face, showing that the act of grabbing has taken on a total different meaning for her character.
1. “The Truth doesn’t have to hurt.” The arc for this line is showing the Mother’s arc. She’s afraid to tell her Child the truth about her condition thinking it will make things worse for the child, but at the end the Mother repeats the line so the child can face her death with a new attitude.
a. In MM # 1 the doctor will say this line to the Mother when he finishes telling her the results of the Child’s tests.
b. In MM # 4 the brother says this line to the mother when he tries to convince to tell her the daughter the truth about what’s going on with her health.
c. In MM # 7 the Mother will repeat this line to the Child when she tells her the truth about her health.
2. “Treasure can be found anywhere.” The arc for this line reflects how the mother wants the child to feel about life.
a. In MM # 1 we hear the mother say this line to the doctor when he asks her what she does for a living and she tells him she’s a treasure hunter.
b. In MM # 2 the Mother will repeat this line to the Child about the treasure hunt.
c. In MM # 6 the Child will repeat this line to the mother when she realizes they did find a real treasure in the hospital.
d. In MM # 8 the Child will repeat this line when she’s explaining the new Treasure Hunt to the other kids in the hospital.
3. “Each day is a new day to decide how you want to feel.” The arc of this line will reflect the changing attitude of the Child who we see at the start of the story is unhappy and depressed.
a. In MM # 2 when the Mother and Child are arguing about doing the treasure hunt, the mother will say this line to the child.
b. In MM # 6 the Child will repeat this line to herself when she feels weak, and we will see she starts each day saying it. But by Day 4, she starts to doubt it since she’s not feeling better.
c. In MM #7 the Child will repeat this line to her Mother even after she finds out the truth about her health. She will say it with determination in her eyes, like she really believes it.
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Edward Brown height of emotion
I learned I needto learn more andtake more energy sups Actually below shows some real dramatic improvements for me over original language
Second, assignment I need to graph the transitions of phrases. See real power ful tool. It’s 3:41 AM but I finished. Learned must not get hanged up on perfection. Just do it.
Make
a list of the 5 most emotional moments in your screenplay.Tanya tells Boris in decades all be in ground but she demands romance of dance
Tatianna, Siberian culture professor and ballet teacher has been invited to New Years Eve Kremlin ball by billionaire Olegath Boris who was wowed by her class performance in Moscow culture contest.
Tanya great grandfather waltz her with Catherine the Great, so after traveling 4 days by Siberian Transit train, Tanya enters ball room and asks Boris to take time out from billionaire buddy discussions to dance with Tanya. He refuses, refuses even to try.
Upset, Tanya walks away. Boris counters with large necklace of diamonds. Tanya examines it with purse magifing glass and declares it cheap African blood diamonds.
Then Tanya pulls out of her bra two absoulesly sparkling diamond earring. They were formed by meteorite, Siberan fire, and she cuts some of earth formed illegal African blood diamonds.
And again walks away. Searching her bra, Tanya realizes has lost her in town cousin’s apartment key. Siberian vamp is alone in Moscow with no shelter or funds.
So when Boris offers a huge diamond engagement ring, time to get real.
BORIS
This is symbol of us getting “incorporated” You accept?
TANYA looks at BORIS and intent CROWD. Shrugs.
BORIS
Think of your son. His opportunities.
TANYA
Boris, dear, I can’t accept your generous contract offer. We’re not a good match. Obviously, you’re excellent in business.
TANYA fingers the huge engagement stone.
Like as weighing it, Tanya holds Boris’s offered large diamond engagement ring.
TANYA
Wow, this diamond is huge. Even heavy.
BORIS
Ring can be sized for your finger.
Tanya again fingers diamond engagement ring frowning
BORIS
Think of your son’s future.
Smiling Tanya hands back the ring. Crowd shocked. Tanya frowns, then smiles before boldly declaring with hand on hip.
TANYA
It’s very valuable earth stone.
But I’m not economic ciper
an before earth claims my bones
I feel NO chance for romance
With a NO knell proposal, Sir,
And NO humor trying to dance
So, I return offered present —
As Tatiana is not an ornament
Second example: This is a romcom and the prospective male partner George also is ready for new life with a new woman. Scene is at George’s workshop.
GEORGE keeps working. Car honks again. George hits garage door opener.
A snow covered Mercedes drives in through white out blizzard. ANNA, attractive older woman with graded pearl necklace and pushup bra separating her sable coat, glides out of her car. Garage door closes
George is building his 19 year project trimaran. New Year new resolution. Anna cleans up George with wash cloth from purse plastic bag. And lingers on George’s expanding “Grego” with promise after Grosse pointe Cognic party going to bed making love every time zone ending planet’s last New Year Eve, Bora Bora.
As Anna helps George put in his tuxedo studs, she mocks George’s building the trimaran and exploring new possibilities.
Converstion build up
ANNA (mocking)
Open hearts? “New Year. New possibilities”. ..I can see it now.
Image of pretty fem face peering in garage window
ANNA VO(mocking)
You’ll be concocting your trimaran. Will be tap tap tap on your garage door window. Peering in will be a sweet girlish face.
(falsetto)
A pretty face gushing: “Is that a trimaran? I JUST LOVE TRIMARANS!”
GEORGE
Yes! And she’ll help build it. We sail. Sail in moonlight. No starlight. Dark, but so calm ..the stars will reflect off the mirror water. Galaxies of stars. Sail among cosmos of stars. Above. Below. Through Surrounding Stars.
ANNA
And you’ll make love on the deck
GEORGE
Yes! Breeze sleeps. Boat stops. And we drop clothes, drop to deck. And our love energy creates waves of passion, waves of love, waves rippling through out the starry universe!
Image of bobbing trimaran’s waves transmitting out reflected starlit water
GEORGE
AND WE’LL BE ONE WITH THE COSMOS.
GEORGE
AND COSMOS WILL BE ONE WITH US. AN’ WE’LL BE ONE WITH EACH OTHER
ANNA
And you’ll access other dimensions. Ha! BUT NOT — GREGO’S BORA BORA!
ANNA kisses GEORGE on his hands.
ANNA
No lip kisses. For person you kiss New Year’s Eve will effect your life for the new year.
Tearfully, ANNA takes door control. DOOR opens. ANNA drops control in obscuring clutter. Mercedes drives out.
Standing in his underpants and tuxedo shirt and cowl tuxedo, GEORGE TEARFULLY WATCHES SNOW BLOW IN. Watches snow pile up for a Long Time before searching for garage door control in clutter
Here is new quote:
GEORGE
Damn!
We —
Cuddled in box seats
Anna in red dress
At 1812 overture treat
Later cuddled in satin sheets
Damn!
No Cosmos One “Grand Slam”—
If your dreams don’t meet.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Third scene set up
George and Tanya finally meet face to pretty face in Red Square after Lake Huron Mackinaw sailboat race.
Tanya vamps George speechless. He recovers. Starts playing with his dragon kite. Tanya tells him he’s unacceptable childish and old. Go fly kite.
TANYA
Mr. Drake, you enough vodka. Pay waitress. GO FLY KITE. GO FLY KITE.
GEORGE pays smiling waitress, bows, and testing breeze, GEORGE launches dragon designed kite.
TANYA
Well, no secret morning test. Is he: a merry bird? Or grumpy bear?
BUXOM WAITRESS
Or? Or morning lusty — man?
Kite is soaring above Kremlin. GEORGE waves and growing merry crowd of kids, parents and curious gather. George shows two pretty women how attach paper to string so it glides up to kite.
TANYA
Well, he’s Old! Smells! Fat! Old!
BUXOM WAITRESS
Well, those hotties don’t mind.
TANYA
He’s a bed sampler!
BUXOM WAITRESS
Professor. You fail his secret test!
TANYA frowns, studies GEORGE. Bites lip. Runs toward GEORGE.
George explains that enduring attractiveness is not molecular arrangement but playfulness. He points to two birds playing tag when it is not reproductive season.
He starts to run around with arms out yelling like a bird, “aaakk aaakkkk”
Finally Tanya joins in playing like a bird. Then playmates resume to negotiate.
Encouraged, TANYA does trickier swoops. GEORGE can’t follow. Falls down. Tries again. Falls again. TANYA helps him up. Together they retire to WAITRESS’s table. TANYA raises hand.
TANYA (ordering)
Champagne pozhaluysta — now!
Beaming CUPID WAITRESS hurries to serve.
GEORGE
That was fun! Fun! Together!
Champagne is bubbling in glasses. And bubbling.
TANYA
Must finish negotiations. Do we explore be — US?
GEORGE wedges cork back in bottle.
GEORGE (proposing toast)
NO CZARINA. NO BOSS. PARTNERS.
TANYA (toasting)
PARTNERS! DA!
Glasses click. Smiles turn to calculation.
TANYA (proposing toast)
You shower. Smell sweet. Lose weight.
Glasses click. And GEORGE uncorks bottle to refill glasses.
GEORGE
Partner, we’re so different. But maybe your strengths fill my weakness, My strengths fill your weakness. Da?
GEORGE takes her hands and interlocks her fingers with his fingers. TANYA nods agreement. And radiates.
TANYA (proposing toast)
To, my favorite word –SINERGIYA! SYNERGY!
Glasses click and smiling hearts click. GEORGE refills.
GEORGE (proposing toast)
To, Exploring Ob Sea Novosibrisk –US!
Glasses click, WAITRESS claps, TANYA kisses GEORGE’s hand. COUPLE stands, hugs, kisses. WAITRESS claps. Then TANYA pours last champagne for final toast
Here is the new dialog:
George out of turn makes toast
GEORGE
We are neither young nor old
But bold!
And with magic
Of love and laughter
We’ll fight the dark an’ cold.
An’ with magic
Of love and laughter
We’ll tap into the Cosmic Honey Flow
An’ the air will become magical gold
An’ our lives will sweetly go!
Tanya who stated before holding hands in public was vulgar, passionately kisses George
Waitress quickly grabs their champagne glasses so all hands free to embrace.
Scene George and Tanya scype neoiated new years eve to seal deal to meet Red Square “face to pretty” face for more romance negotiations.
Challenge here is must kiss on phone at planet’s last NYE, Bora Bora, if they are to meet.
Can they seal with kiss meeting Bora Bora’s NYE dead line. Midnight
Playing electronically cupid are Russian Orthodox saints, George Sophia and Nickolas, with God and Spirit actively helping
Basically Divine interveners are playing rock and roll to get old rocker and dither George to kiss the phone Bora Bora midnight New years Eve.
SAINTS NOD BIG BEAT RHYTHUM JUMPS! SAINT GEORGE RAPID FIRES SNAR DRUMS
SAINT GEORGE (estatic)
ALL BALLS OUT!
SOPHIA POINTS TO NICHOLAS
SAINT SOPHIA (CHEERING)
BRING IT HOME NICK!
NICHOLAS triple triple times keyboard, hair back, knocking chair over.
Now let’s go one time kISS baby, KISS, KISS baby, YES YOU, LOVE baby, come on baby, LOVE, baby, LOVE Come on over, whole lot-ta LOV-IN’ go-in’ on
GOD
Georgie be good! Kiss the damn phone.
TANYA (commanding interruiption)
GEORGIE DARLING, KISS DAMN PHONE IN YOUR HAND. SO WE SHARE BORA BORA NEW YEAR AND LOVIN’ SO GRAND. OR OR STAY HOME!
GEORGE nods, knocks Champagne over AND and drops phone in clutter. More BORA BORA firecrackers. SAINTS audio frantically playing.
GEORGE CAN’T FIND PHONE IN CLUTTER OF MESS AND NOISE.
TANYA
GEORGE! I’M IN WOOD SCRAPS!
GOD
SPIRIT’S EARLY ONE MINUTE UP. Got 14 seconds left real time. SILENCE!
In silence GEORGE hears TOLYA on TANYA’S phone in clutter.
TANYA’S PHONE TOLYA SPEAKING
Yt dolzhen byl vybrat’ Boris
TANYA’S PHONE TANYA SPEAKING
Nyet Boris! Da Khotet’ GEORGE!
GEORGE audio finds phone. HURRIEDLY Grabs Phone.Laptops in both Novosibrisk and Detroit now on BORA BORA LIVE INTERNET count down to New Year
LAPTOP AUDIO AND SCREEN
SIX 6 CINO 5
GEORGE (YELLING)
OB SEA!
TANYA (yelling)
DA! NOVOSIBRISK!
LAPTOP AUDIO AND SCREEN
TRIOS 3 – DEUX 2
BOTH TANYA AND GEORGE KISS PHONES!
LAPTOP AUDIO AND SCREEN
BONNE ANNEEUN! Fire works explosions. Cheering. Fire crackers. Sky lit up palm trees and lagoon mountain. BONNE ANNÉEUN! BONNE ANNÉEUN!
Major lightning and thunder in Novosibrisk Detroit.
BOTH TANYA AND GEORGE STILL KISSING PHONES! And don’t notice SPIRIT has hacked internet laptop again.
SPIRIT HACKED LAPTOP
And now our regular programming:
SAINTS JAMMIN’. GOD and SPIRIT privately confer.
SPIRIT (nodding toward kissers)
Should I jigger A odds for romance?
GOD
Jigger. Like always they got free will to blow it.
SPIRIT looks at GOD. GOD give thumbs up.
BIG DRUM on its own BOOMS BOOMS. GOD and SPIRIT circle dance.
SAINT NICKOLAS (YELLS)
MUSIC: WHOLE LOT OF LOVIN” GOIN’ ON!
GEORGE pulling away from phone to inhale, notices on his cell phone screen: TANYA’s red lipstick kiss.
Tanya pulling away notices her lipstick on phone
Visually Dissolve only to RED LIPSTICK KISS.
new dialog
GEORGE OVER VOICE
New Year! New woman! New Life? This is scary! We might Marry!
TANYA VOICE OVER
New Year! New Man! New New Life? This is scary! We might marry!
Audibly dissolve to
ALL SAINTS SINGING VO
WHOLE LOT-TA OF LOV-IN’ Go-IN’ ON!
ALL SAINTS SINGING
YEH. WHOLE LOT-TA OF LOV-IN’ Go-IN’ ON!WHOLE LOT OF LOVIN GOIN OONNNNNNNNNNN!
SCENE: July Mackinaw island race over with over 1000 joyfuls celebrating, free beer, infested with attractive bosomy women who like to follow the yacht sailors.
Now that Tanya has George losing weight and grooming better and who is tactician on winning trimaran, ladies are friendly. Word spreads how his bold strategy won the race.
Tanya calls to confirm George is coming to meet in Moscow or not. Skype phone tells Siberian Tanya that life is good in Michigan.
George says he has business concerns. Has to hang up now to go on stage with crew and skipper to get first place flag.
Tanya frets.
Award given to Molly 78 year old skipper whose girlfriend to owner.
Owner and Molly get flag and cheers. And Molly collapse. Heart attack. Graps mike for final words:
Molly
Don’t fret. I knew my heart bad.
Happy I raced. Die with no regrets.
Happy to race with my love. Vive de Joie.
Molly twists in pain.
Molly
George be a bold fool. Go. Don’t
Later regret …
Go!
By now sailors/doctors on stage. Feel her throat.
Flag draped over her. Other blue flags cover Molly
George skypes Tanya.
George
Ten Days. Red Square. Wear straw hat.
Red scraf. Must be table by refreshments.
Tanya
Da.
Novosibirk /Siberia big Catherdral
Trying to find Tanya a mate, her case worker Saints call in Jesus, Jesus calls in SPIRIT, fumbloxed they all call in God.
God takes evolutionary position that Tanya should be allowed to goof up per natural selection. Further more sex should have keep family together. That’s how Sapiens beat cousin Monkeys.
Saints counter:
GOD
So generations after generations, Mom and Dad bonded in sexual climaxes to raise kids longer. Longer childhood evolved into adults with smarter brain cortexes.
Image: monkeys climb trees versus humans morphing from cave animal clothing to medieval gear on horse to space suits in space ship.
SPIRT
Result: Monkeys haven’t evolved far.. But you, cousins, have rovers on Mars.
GOD shares dark loaf, Sophia nods and points.
Wall Images: many rotating sexual partners
SAINT SOPHIA
Hey, news flash, fossils show Sapiens beat monkeys eons ago But there’s trouble in paradise, blessed climaxes are with someone else’s exes
Saints nod
Wall Image: male gazing at computer of porn
SAINT SOPHIA
Perhaps worse calamity is escape from reality. You may groan, but over half internet is porn
Image: Male engrossed in video game ignoring attractive female cupping her bare breasts
SAINT GEORGE
And even virtual sex is goin’ lame as more guys play video games with no interest to jiggle female breasts
Image: realistic naked voluptuous female doll that smiles
SAINT NICHOLAS
Worse, I kid you not, there’s hot debate: can you marry your sex doll bot!
GOD
Okay crew, lets define the problem. Often Dads out door before Babes out of mom.
(beat)
Worse,40 per cent of your marriages bomb
Saint nod agreement
GOD
One neat solution: is dads delete.
Saints throw bread at God. Spirit flashes.
Image: Ma Pa ducks and ducklings
JESUS YELLING
Two by two on Arc!
GOD AS FEMALE FACE
Instead of penises rank, scientific sperm banks.
SAINT GEORGE bangs his sword repeatedly and points to video image on Church wall: despondent short boy being denied to practice as taller boys shoot baskets. Outside, Short boy is welcomed by flashy dressed drug dealer.
SAINT GEORGE
With no fathers, poor boys often look to male sports coaches.
SAINT NICHOLAS
Yeah, sports glamorized on TV.
SAINT GEORGE
But many boys, like too short Vincent, can’t play round ball. So they’re easily recruited to sell drugs.
(beat)
Then to pay for drugs, their drug customers mug ‘n’ rob!
(beat)
And when the New Drug Sellers get busted, these New felons can’t get legitimate jobs.
(beat)
At least, Good Jobs. For while in school, they didn’t think they needed Good Education to go far, ’cause they were goin’ be drug dealers or sports stars.
SAINT NICKOLAS
It’s worse.
Wall image of rich and poor dressed kids zoned on weed
SAINT NICKOLAS
Rich kids, poor kids ..well, when male authority feeble aimlessly get into drugs. Zoned out. Especially now that’s Cannabis legal.
New dialog:
Saint Sophia
We call you “FATHER” because
Fathers are strong protective and
Care. And problem solvers.
(beat)
You came in here a green tiger, then female
Morphed in tradional Father face.
(beat)
Well if you won’t help, don’t care, we should
Not call you FATHER anymore but pussy cat that plays with us.
SAINT GEORGe
Or fraud!
Assignment 2
I-m tired. But idea has merit. Can start with being bold, starting new when Tanya decides to go to Moscow for Boris
When both George and Tanya decide to be bold to meet, to go jointy Siberia,
The other theme is Go Giving care for other could start when Jesus proclaims it key, then Jesus evaluating as George and Tanya progressively compromise to bigger things as considering the other.
Big battle her is Tanya is self centered and George is too pleasing against his best interests. So both must modify.
Can have jesus evaluating love neighbor as love self as George personally takes better care of himself, and Tanya progressively does more for George vs being constant taker.
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Is your screenplay taking the POV of Mark? Why did you (if you did) choose Mark’s POV?
What is the change in Al that makes him want to help Mark after all? I am somewhat confused in your response in #2. Are you talking about Mark’s brother, Al’s brother, or both Mark and Al’s brothers?
What is the main idea of your screenplay? What would you like your audience to come away with after watching your movie?
I hope my questions are helpful.
Laura
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