Day 15 Assignments

[Deleted User]

#15. Karen Crider’s Amazing 3^rd Act

What I learned: Structure is an organized thing. I am not an organized writer. The two shall never meet. But maybe we can eclipse each other. Pass like two ships in the night, rubbing their dullness with a slab of light. Dashing it so quickly, it only embeds a centimeter; but maybe with each encounter, the light slivers deeper each time, and lightens a shadow, possibly subduing a darkness…

What I learned: Doing this lesson makes me think. And I don’t like to do that. I write the same way I drive, with the higher cortical regions of my brain, never quite sure where I want to go, but eventually finding it. But to think of where I’m going is more labor intensive, than actually doing it. So, now I have to face the music, follow the tune, and hope I like the chorus. Thanks…

Logline:

A magical dragon, with kleptomaniac tendencies, stashes his booty with his friend, getting him jailed; forcing them to go on the lam to his father’s planet, where he becomes king.

Concept:

A magical dragon without a kingdom, and a foster kid without a real home, become family; proving sometimes, that water is thicker than blood.

Opening: Planet Freome, planet of the dragons, is a place where time is extinct, for the planet is rooted in the Bermuda Triangle, but ruled by King Zebulon and Queen Sophia. As royalty, they have endowed their family the ability to turn invisible and heal injuries. Unfortunately, they are murdered during an invasion. Nurse Phoebe fights their killer.

Nurse Phoebe, sister to the king, caretaker to their offspring, Prince Percy and Princess Zenith, hides the prince in a cloud where he falls into another dimension.

The princess is taken as their own by the new regime. The seers cannot save a dying princess, Nurse Phoebe turns visible to heal her. She comes out of her invisibility and risks her life; she gains access to the princess to do what no one else can; thus, ingratiating herself to the king and saving the princess.

Inciting Incident: Prince Percy plops inside a mud puddle on Planet Earth, at an elementary school, where a bullied, foster kid, Dusty Greene, saves him from a hawk. Dusty sneaks him home and raises him.

2^nd Act: After high school, Dusty goes into the Army. Unknown to Dusty, Percy follows invisible, and fights the enemy, mostly invisible, while protecting his friend. Dusty’s discharged, and returns to his family.

Percy’s lost without Dusty. He goes to space to find his roots. He accidentally finds Planet Freome ironically his father’s planet. During Princess Zenith’s debut, she picks Percy as her intended, but the wicked king ousts him.

TP: Percy returns to earth and reunites with Dusty. Dusty’s wife, Eve, has died, His kids desert him and he’s depressed.

Midpoint: Percy steals flowers, vegetables (for soup) a new car and kidnaps a woman to make him happy. As a result, Dusty is jailed. Percy destroys the jail, breaking him out, along with his twice, kidnapped woman, Ann, who is mad as hell.

Crisis: The king, who has murdered Percy’s parents, dies in a volcano. Nurse Phoebe and the princess survive. They come to earth to find Percy as the rightful king. Nurse Phoebe tells him the truth about his father and informs both Princess Zenith and Prince Percy they are siblings and can never be a couple.

Climax: The cops return to re-arrest Dusty. Percy and Dusty escape in a wall of smoke above the cabin, with Dusty hanging onto Percy’s back. The cops shoot their guns midair, unsure if what they are seeing is reality. Percy shoots fire and flame in their direction to interrupt their attack. Dusty takes flight with Nurse Phoebe and Princess Zenith. Behind them, the cabin explodes in flames, and several police cars go up in flames along with the cabin. Fire trucks and ambulances arrive on scene, their lights flashing, their sirens blaring. Dusty Greene is now a criminal at large, with no sign of him to be had…

Resolution: Percy becomes king. Dusty finds his wife, Eve, alive and well. They sneak away from a crowd of dragons out onto the castle’s portico for privacy. A plane streaks above their heads, smoke trails its exhaust. Inside the plane, Dusty’s rebellious kids now have time for that family reunion, as lifelong citizens of the Planet of the Dragons.

[David Mailman]

David’s Amazing 3rd Act
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” By luck, mostly, my third act fit the Rules. I’m sure they can be improved with more thought in my next rewrite.
1. Write a paragraph or two telling the setup (from 1st and 2nd Acts) for your ending. Make sure and include the specific setups that are paid off in the 3rd Act.

The first act starts with the history of the treasure of the Santa Elena. The Spanish Inquisition rules Mexico and slaughters Aztecs for their gold. The Inquisitors load the last of their gold on board the Santa Elena that sinks in a storm in 1798. The Inquisitors are shown as ruthless, amoral, and relentless creatures. The map of where the Santa Elena went down is stolen by a family of Cajuns. A Cult of Inquisitors begins a search for the map. There is a secret to the map and the treasure remains lost.

Paul’s father is killed in a heroic rescue. Paul is intimidated by his memory and becomes timid and soft. He reads a lot to escape and because he is smart. Paul is eighteen years old when attacked by the Cult. He is told by his uncle Jack he belongs to the treasure hunting family. The two groups have been fighting for two hundred years. Lenny is also a member of the crew. The Grand Inquisitor is the Antagonist. Santos, a junior member of the Cult, is Paul’s Nemesis since beginning high school. Later Jason, a marine archeologist, is enlisted by Paul to help in the hunt. Paul and his family are repeatedly attacked by the Cult but escape.

Paul discovers the secret of the map and his crew set sail for it. Paul’s crew is attacked at sea in a pitched battle above and below the water. Paul prevails when he overcomes his greatest fear. The Cult is destroyed. The crew finds the treasure in one last desperate dive. He is betrayed by one of the crew. He overcomes the attacker. He sails home, triumphant.

SETUPS

A golden sword belonging to the captain of the Santa Elena.

Paul is especially fearful of spiders and uncle Jack has a pet tarantula. Captain Jack tells Paul he was deathly afraid of spiders too at one time. Paul has to face and overcome his fears.

Jack says he’ll see the Grand Inquisitor go out like “A mackerel in a school of sharks.”

Paul dumps garbage overboard and shudders when sharks rip into it.

Paul doesn’t drink whiskey.

The best thing Paul’s mother could say about Paul’s father was he didn’t drink. Lenny drinks beer constantly and treats Paul as a pal.

2. List out the Current Structural Beats of your 3rd Act in your post.
The crew set out to dive for the treasure.

At sea for four days. It looks like another failure. Lenny and Jason are diving. The Cult boat approaches. The attack begins.

As the Cult’s boat passes over the divers Carlos throws out animal blood to attract sharks.

Jack guns the engine and just avoids being rammed by the Cult’s boat.

The Cult jams radio transmission. The Grand Inquisitor comes on deck.

Paul finds the ammo for their guns has been stolen. Their radio is jammed.

The Cult’s boat chases Jack’s boat. Shark fins converge on the divers.

Jack and Paul head to the shrimper fleet for help. The Cult’s boat is gaining. Paul throws out nets on floats that threaten to foul the props on the Cult’s boat. It stops.

Jack’s boat gains but they realize the divers are almost out of air and they turn back. Paul catches Carlos in their nets as they pass.

Jake cuts the nets before Carlos is dragged overboard. He ties the end to a capstan and pulls the boats together.

Carlos boards Paul’s boat.

The Tarantula is freed from its cage. Paul sees the spider and, overcoming his fear, throws it at Carlos. Carlos panics and jumps overboard.

Paul ignites the Cult’s boat with a flare gun.

Paul steers near the dive site. He cuts his hand and swirls it in the water to draw off the sharks from the divers. It doesn’t work.

A shark from underneath Paul’s boat almost bites his hand off. Paul stabs it, and it bleeds enough to attract the other sharks.

The sharks swim away and the divers surface.

The Cult’s boat is pouring smoke. The Grand Inquisitor glares at Paul. A Coast Guard helicopter comes

The Grand Inquisitor pours a bucket of blood and guts on himself. He steps into the water. Sharks quickly gather.

The crew almost miss a strong signal from the sonar. They figure another false alarm and want to head home. Paul sees the Tarantula, loose on the deck, and puts it back in its cage. Everyone is shamed by Paul’s lack of fear. They dive one last time.

Lenny and Jason pull up some tarred ratlines. At their end, trapped in them, is the glittering hilt of the Spanish Captain’s sword.

Jason gives Lenny and Jack drugged whiskey. He reveals to Paul that he is one of the Cultists. Paul tricks Jason and defeats him. A wounded Jason falls overboard. Paul does not rescue him.

Paul and Sandy make up.

Pal and Sandy are the heroes of the school. Santos comes in wanting to fight. Paul knocks him down with a book. Lenny, Jack, and Janet find happiness. Paul and Sandy wear gold medallions of the Santa Elena.

Paul realizes Sandy was one of the Treasures of the Santa Elena.

LAST LINES.

PAUL

You know, another thing. When Santos walked in here, all I saw was a big, hairy spider.

SANDY

What!

[Heather Hood]

Heather’s Amazing 3rd Act

What I learned about doing this assignment: no matter how many times I re-write a scene it seems if I leave it for a while I can always find something else to change. I wonder at what point I need to stop changing it because I don’t know if I’m making it better or worse.

In the third act the court case happens between the Cree First Nation and the Catholic Church. Jody has given Ambrose a kidney to show she forgives him and to ensure he is healthy enough to get through the stress of the trial.

Angelino ups his game by having his remaining aide murder Joe before he can retrieve a box of photos that would put the headmaster in prison. But Joe proves to be a lot tougher than anyone gives him credit for. He saves the day in court, showing up with evidence that determines the outcome of the trial – and the world learns the Spanish Inquisition is still very much alive in the Roman Catholic church.

Ambrose’s kidney transplant fails and he asks Jody and DeGaul to let him die out in the forest where he can see God all around him (an allusion to a conversation with Jody earlier in act 2)

EXT. SNOWY BACKCOUNTRY – EVENING

Willa stirs the fire. Joe, heavily bandaged, brings branches. Ambrose semiconscious, lies on a bed of fir boughs cushioned with blankets, wrapped in a sleeping bag. DeGaul beside him anoints his head with oil and delivers the last rites.

DEGAUL

Through this Holy anointing may the Lord in his love and mercy help you with the grace of the Holy Spirit. May the Lord who frees you from sin save you and raise you up.

Jody sits with Ambrose’s head in her lap, stroking his hair away from his face.

AMBROSE

Don’t cry for me. Any of you.

Jody just nods, and wipes a tear away. Willa walks away from the fire, frowning.

AMBROSE

(to Jody)

I will wait for you there.

JODY

(whispers)

I won’t be long.

She kisses his forehead. Ambrose’s eyes widen for a moment, looking at her. She nods and smiles sadly.

His eyes unfocus, and he squeezes squeezes DeGaul’s hand. A radiant smile lights his face as if he sees something beautiful beyond his friend’s shoulder. Within a few breaths Ambrose’s smile fades and he is gone.

DEGAUL

(choking up)

Good bye my friend. God grant I will be as brave as you when my time comes.

He tucks a blanket up under Ambrose’s chin.

JODY

How long were you friends?

DEGAUL

(wiping at his eyes)

Oh my. Let’s see now. forty-four years. I have no idea what I’ll do without his exasperating humor to get me through the day.

JOE

Maybe you could get a cat.

DEGAUL

(still crying)

Yes. It would be about the same.

Jody looks up at the stars.

JODY

Which one do you think God gave him?

DEGAUL

Pardon?

JOE

They’re all campfires.

JODY

He’ll be waiting for us. Bannock cooking. Fish frying.

DEGAUL

(Laugh/crying)

That would be a miracle. He never learned to fish.

JOE

You can’t fish in heaven? What good is that? Come on, believe in some miracles, eh. Geez, I’m more of a priest than you.

DEGAUL

You could be right. The Church has always had a side like a drunken uncle: the embarrassing one nobody brings to dinner. I think I gave my notice.

JODY

You…gave your notice?

DEGAUL

I quit. I can’t be part of…this anymore. Oh, not my faith in God. Never. I couldn’t. But something is broken in the church and no one wants to fix it. There are groups no one knows about with their own agendas all fighting to steer the church their own way. And, Dear God, I could use John’s counsel right now.

They listen to the fire pop and the foxes bark in the trees.

JODY

If John was sayin’ this to you. What would you tell him?

DeGaul looks down, as if the two of them are twined together in the confessional again.

DEGAUL

Go away from everyone. Pray and wait on the Lord. Seek his answers in scripture.

JOE

Then do that. You’re gonna need some time to think about things.

DEGAUL

I never knew John had a box full of photographs. That was just like him, to pull a stunt like that in court.

JODY

Did you see the Judge’s face when you said you scalped Angelino’s aide?

JOE

Thought she was gonna pass out when I showed her that little piece of skin.

DEGAUL

It’s sad really. He’ll never understand you can’t order someone to have faith. Everyone experiences it in a different way. I have no idea what I’m going to do now. The church has been my life.

JOE

Well, we got one nobody’s using.

DEGAUL

But I’m not Cree.

JOE

Nobody’s perfect. What’d that reporter say? ‘Scratch the surface and find out half the people in Canada’s a little bit indigenous.’

DEGAUL

So you planned to breed us out? Clever.

JOE

Oh shit! Now I have to kill you.

DEGAUL

No need. I feel a sudden craving for bannock.

The fire pops and sends sparks spiraling upward.

DEGAUL

Thank you. It meant so much to him to set things right. Maybe more will follow his lead.

Jody Looks up at the stars thinking.

JODY

We can always pray.

DEGAUL

Of course we can.

JODY

We’ll teach you to drum. Maybe dance a little.

DEGAUL

Dance? No, I can’t dance…

JODY

Just put in a couple a little hops when you make the cross and maybe a circle…

DEGAUL

In church? You sound just like John.

Their words fade out as the northern lights begin to glitter across the sky, bathing the trees and snow around them in unearthly beauty like a divine blessing.

FADE OUT.

THE END

[Heather Hood]

Wow David you have a lot of things happening in your final act! That sounds really fun. Now I want to see how Paul grows from scared guy to decent guy throughout the movie. Everyone loves a guy they can cheer for, who turned in to someone fantastic in the movie and got the girl in the end.

I would love to exchange third acts with you, but I have no idea how we go about doing it. Do we copy and paste here?

Heather

[David Mailman]

Your ending is super. I was tearing up. Not a false note in it. Only one minor suggestion: “Don’t cry for me” calls to mind Evita. We could cut and paste. It would be awkward. Let me think about it.

[Judith Watson]

<font size=”4″>Judith’s Amazing 3rd Act- Lesson 15
What I learned is to take a thorough look at the screenplays 3rd act to make sure it delivers the punch audiences need to really enjoy your movie.
Act 1 sets up that Emily wants to reconnect with her sister. She believes that doing that will make her family whole. However, after she decides to give the reunion a try, she finds out in the 2nd act that Rachel is up to no good and wants to take over her life. Rachel has had a psychotic break and she completely loses it in the 3rd act having believed that Emily stole the art life she was to have when Emily at age 8, turned in Rachel’s art work in a contest and won. Rachel always believed that she would be the success if she had won that contest since her mother was so proud of Emily’s accomplishments.
EXT. LYNN’S HOUSE – DAY
Lynn’s car blocks the driveway.
Emily maneuvers around the car and continues to the front door. She’s about to ring the doorbell, when she notices the door is ajar.
EMILY
Lynn?
No answer.
She pushes on the door and cautiously enters the house.
INT. LYNN’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS
She moves into the entryway.
EMILY
Lynn?
Silence.
KITCHEN
Silently she enters the kitchen and is stopped in her tracks.
Lynn lies on the floor. A pool of blood swimming around her head.
EMILY
Oh, Lynn. What happened to you?
She checks for a pulse.
EMILY
No……….I’m so sorry, my friend.
LYNN
Katie…Rachel.
EMILY
What, what about her?
Lynn doesn’t answer.
Emily looks around and opens a cupboard. Pulls out a tablecloth and lovingly covers Lynn with it.
EMILY
Katie.
Moving hrough the kitchen into the…
LIVING ROOM
Emily goes continues into the…
HALL
Creeping down the room, Emily listens, watches, and enters the…
BEDROOM
Emily stands in the dark room.
EMILY
Katie? Are you hiding? It’s Emily. I’m here to help you.
She listens.
EMILY
Katie?
INT. EMILY’S CAR – DAY
Emily drives like a maniac passing cars and honking her horn.
Cars get out of her way.
EMILY
Oh, Katie, please be okay.
EXT. LARGE WOODEN HOUSE – DAY
A sign in front reads, HOME FOR GIRLS. Emily pulls up in front.
Racing up to the front door, and Emily bolts through it. A CARETAKER stops her from going any further.
CARETAKER
Where you going?
Obtaining her composure…
EMILY
I want to see Katie. Katie Diaz.
CARETAKER
She’s not home from school. Her teacher called and said she stayed after to help. She’d bring her home later.
EMILY
And that was all right with you?
CARETAKER
Is something wrong?
EMILY
No. I just have a great surprise for her. I was excited to give it to her.
The caretaker looks at Emily askance.
CARETAKER
Okay.
Emily grabs a pen and business card from a desk. Writes her phone number on it.
EMILY
When she shows up, call me.
Emily hands her the card. Rushes from the room.
Watching after Emily, the Caretaker looks at the business card and shoves it in her pocket.
EXT. LARGE WOODEN HOUSE – DAY
Emily races to her car.
EMILY
Oh, Lynn, where is Katie?
EXT. WOODSY ROAD – DAY
Emily speeds along the road. It’s a cloudy day and the usual sunlight filtering through the windshield is gone.
Her car moves at an unsafe speed, barely staying on the road.
She arrives at the her house. Screeches to a halt. Bolts from the car.
INT. EMILY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
Emily bursts in. She sees Ralphie with his mouth tied and in a cage.
EMILY
Oh, myGod. Ralphie. Are you all right?
She moves to the cage and lets him out. Removes the tie from his mouth.
Realizes that she might be in danger. She bolts into the
KITCHEN…
And grabs a knife. Ralphie follows her.
EMILY
Where is she, Ralphie? Where is Rachel?
INT. EMILY’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS – SAME
She and Ralphie move cautiously through the house.
She enters a bathroom. Sees a form in the shower. Approaches. Grabs the door. Takes a stand.
Pulls the shower curtain back.
No one is there. A wet towel hangs on a shower hook.
Find the wet shower in one room
KITCHEN
Emily looks at Ralphie.
EMILY
Come on, boy, let’s check outside.
EXT. EMILY’S HOUSE – DAY
The moment Emily and Ralphie step outside, Ralphie runs to a sweater on the ground. Emily picks it up. Puts it by Ralphie’s nose.
EMILY
Find Katie.
He sniffs the air and paws the ground. He picks up a trail and heads toward the woods.
EMILY
Ralphie, wait for me.
He stops, waits for her, but doesn’t come.
She runs up to him, just about to grab him, and he takes off. Emily sprints after him.
He continues to sniff and move deeper into the woods. Emily far behind. She follows as best she can.
As they get deeper into the trees, the debris gets thicker.
She stumbles on the wet leaves and sticks, almost falls, but catches herself by putting out her hand. A trickle of blood creeps along her palm.
EMILY
Ralphie, wait up.
He continues on his path, sniffing and barking. A dog with a mission.
Suddenly he stops by a shovel and a mound of dirt. He barks continuously. He digs furiously into the dirt. Emily approaches, horrified at what she will find.
EMILY
(hesitant)
What is it, boy?
She crosses her fingers. Watches.
EMILY
Please, not Katie.
Ralphie continues digging in the dirt. The wet soil flying through the air plastering Emily. It sprinkles on her face, barely missing her eyes.
Emily backs off until she sees skin.
Emily moves over to Ralphie and grabs him.
EMILY
Ralphie…
He backs off. She looks at the hole holding the object. Motions for Ralphie to sit. He obeys.
She bends down. Reluctantly brushes away some more dirt. The face of art dealer Keresztes looks through the clearing.
Emily is relieved, then horrified.
EMILY
Oh, my gosh. Keresztes.
She steps backwards, almost falls down.
EMILY
What is this?
She pulls her phone from her pocket. Punches a couple of numbers.
Ralphie emits a low GROWL.
RACHEL
I wouldn’t do that.
Emily looks up and sees Rachel holding a gun. She flips her phone closed.
Ralphie races toward Rachel.
EMILY
No, Ralphie, no.
He’s about to jump on Rachel when she fires her gun and stops him in his tracks.
Ralphie lets out a mournful cry. Falls to the ground.
Emily moves to help him, but…
RACHEL
Don’t. Move back. Dogs are always a nuisance. It’s just a leg wound. Grow up.
He lays still.
EMILY
Let me check him.
RACHEL
He’s fine. The little pest that he is. You know he almost bit me before I got that wrap around his mouth.
Rachel motions for Emily to back away from Ralphie.
EMILY
Whatever you’re up to you won’t get away with it.
RACHEL
Yeah, who’s gonna stop me. You? Miss goody two shoes. You had Mom fooled, but not me. I knew what you did.
EMILY
What did I do?
RACHEL
You know.
EMILY
Rachel, come on..
RACHEL
Shut up.
Rachel moves closer to Emily and the burial site.
RACHEL
Now. Cover up poor Keresztes. His career is ended. One less art dealer to turn me down.
Rachel laughs…
RACHEL
He came here to warn you. I couldn’t have it. My sister. I had to protect you.
Emily is confused. Rachel points to the shovel. Indicates to Emily to cover Keresztes.
She shovels dirt back onto the grave keeping an eye on Rachel.
When she gets her chance, Emily throws a shovel full of dirt on her.
Catches her off guard. The wet dirt smears into her eyes. She drops the gun for a moment to attend to her problem.
Emily takes off running.
When Rachel notices, she grabs the gun and shoots at Emily repeatedly but she escapes into the forest.
RACHEL
No you don’t. You can’t get away from me.
Rachel pursues her weaving after Emily through the trees. Occasionally firing a shot and splintering a tree trunk.
RACHEL
You come back here, you little brat.
She pursues her foster sister through the trees. Firing blindly into the darkness.
Rachel’s gun bullets are spent. She stops. Listens. Hears no running.
RACHEL
You can hide, but not for long.
She searches the area around her.
RACHEL
I know you’re around here…
She listens, waits. She sits down. Waits.
RACHEL
I’ve got Katie. The adoption agency finally checked the files and said my paintings are mine.
Emily waits behind a tree. A confused expression. She steps out from behind the tree.
EMILY
You better not have hurt her, Rachel.
RACHEL
Rachel? What? Are you confused? I’m Emily, the special one. I’m adopting a child. I’m pregnant. I have a wonderful husband. And I’m a successful artist. I’m perfect.
Emily’s baffled. Then she gets it.
Rachel with a fury, knocks into Emily pushing her to the ground and takes off disappearing into the dark woods.
Emily runs after her. Frantic now, Emily moves faster.
She comes out of the woods. Surveys her house.
She moves around to the kitchen door. Listens. It’s dark and quiet.
INT. EMILY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Emily enters. Listens. She creeps to a drawer and gets a flashlight. Flicks it on. A faint beam lights the way.
Emily creeps from the kitchen into the…
HALL
Moves down the hall slowly checking each room.
BABIES ROOM
Nothing.
MASTER BEDROOM
She enters. Tiptoes to the closet, jerks it open. Nothing.
EMILY
Where are you, Katie?
As she is about to leave the room, she notices a trickle of light snaking under the barn door.
KITCHEN
Emily leaves the house. HEARS music blaring from the barn.
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHT
Emily goes to her car. Opens the trunk. Pulls out a tire iron and a leather bag. She puts the iron into the bag.
She moves to the barn. Listens. She startles and steps back when a song suddenly stops.
She peeks through the closed barn doors.
INT. BARN STUDIO – NIGHT
Rachel stands at an easel, painting. HUMMING.
EXT. BARN STUDIO – NIGHT
Emily starts to enter, then changes her mind. Steps away from the doors.
Creeps around the barn to the side door. Pulls on it. It’s locked.
EMILY
Fuck.
She looks up and the loft doors are open. She looks around. A ladder lays on the ground.
She struggles to pull the ladder to the barn. Carefully puts it under the open doors. A bump of noise. She waits.
No response.
Climbing as quietly as she can, Emily enters the barn.
INT. BARN STUDIO – NIGHT
When Emily steps inside, she is startled when Rachel greets her.
RACHEL
Come in. Join the party. I want to show you my new paintings. I have a new show coming up soon.
Rachel holds the gun on Emily.
RACHEL
Can I trust you?
Rachel shakes her head, answering her own question.
RACHEL
You disappointed me in the woods.
She motions for Emily to climb down the haystack ladder.
Emily carefully steps down each rung, holding her leather bag on her shoulders, oops, almost falls when the bag flips around behind her.
She catches herself and descends into the barn filled with lit candles.
The candles flicker as she moves past them. Emily manuevers around the candles.
They are arranged in groups, here and there.
There is a grouping of lit candles around Katie who sits tied up in a chair. She is terrified. A gag in her mouth.
Emily nods to her. Lifts her finger to her lips.
Rachel notices.
RACHEL
I had to tie Katie up. She was being a bad girl and trying to get away from me. Kids should listen to their mothers.
Emily hangs onto her leather bag.
RACHEL
Put down the bag.
EMILY
It’s nothing.
Rachel waves the gun at her.
Emily puts down the bag. She looks around.
Paintings, new versions of Emily’s work sit on easels. The photographs Emily used to create her loving family paintings are attached, one to each easel. They are pristine and clean.
The paintings are colorful, except, they are all grotesque.
Not the loving family paintings Emily created, but creations by some maniacal Salvadore Dali.
Emily holds back her horror.
Rachel twirls around. Spreading her arms out in exurberance.
RACHEL
Well, Rachel, how do you like my paintings? I have a new show coming up. You’ll be sure to come, won’t you?
Emily smiles.
RACHEL
I think these are my best work.
Walking around each of the easels, she is horrified to the paintings of grotesque faces. Hiding her horror…
EMILY
There are wonderful. You’ve done yourself proud.
Rachel likes the compliment.
RACHEL
I think so. I can’t wait to show Eugene.
EMILY
He’ll adore them.
RACHEL
Mother always said I had an artistic talent. Not like you. I was the one who could paint.
Emily stares in disbelief, trying to figure out how to handle this crazy Rachel and survive.
RACHEL
You really like my new paintings?
EMILY
Yes.
Rachel face crunches up…
RACHEL
Liar.
EMILY
Look, we can work this out. I’m Emily and you’re Rachel.
RACHEL
What are you talking about?
Emily moves toward the bag.
EMILY
Let me show you.
RACHEL
Stop.
EMILY
I have a journal, a picture…
RACHEL
So?
EMILY
Dr. Goodman’s journal. He kept a record of patients. Let me show you.
RACHEL
I was never a patient of any Dr. Goodman. Oh, he refused me.
Emily considers for a long time. Rachel stares at her. Waiting. She looks over at Katie. She stops herself trying to untie her ropes. Rachel moves over to her and checks them.
In order to distract Rachel…
EMILY
I stole your painting when we were kids. I confess. Took it to school. Said it was mine. You would have won the art contest.
Rachel turns toward Emily.
EMILY
You would have had all the glory, but mean old me, took it from you, and Mom loved me for it. You have talent. Just look at the wonderful paintings you did here.
Rachel stares at her.
EMILY
I’m so sorry I messed up your life. Let me make it up to you.
Emily’s confession sinks into Rachel. She looks around at the grotesque paintings. Pleased with her work.
A psychological light bulb goes off in Rachel’s head.
RACHEL
I’m Rachel. You’re Emily. You ruined my life. Mother loved you more. You were her sweet little foster child, and I was left alone opening up my birthday presents in my bedroom by myself while everybody goo-goo eyed over you.
She raises her gun. Points it at Emily. Shoots, but misses and the bullet hits one of her paintings blasting a gigantic hole through the middle.
Rachel moves to the canvas.
RACHEL
No.
She touches it lovingly. The wet paint smears onto her hands.
RACHEL
Oh, look what you made me do.
She tries to cover up the hole with more oil paints, but it just squirts through the opening onto the other side as she squeezes more and more frantically.
Rachel turns around to point the gun at Emily again, but Emily is gone.
RACHEL
Oh. Where are you? You coward. Now your true self comes out. You confess, but you can’t take your punishment.
ANOTHER PART OF THE BARN
Emily holds a candle to a fire sprinkler. But it won’t turn on.
EMILY
Turn on…turn on.
She wiggles the candle close to the sprinkler head. Nothing.
Rachel moves around looking for Emily, but she is not to be seen. She moves back to Katie.
RACHEL
Come out, or I’ll destroy your second child.
Katie is confused at Rachel’s statement.
Katie’s manages to free her hands, stands up which distracts Rachel as Emily comes charging toward her with the tire iron.
She accidentally hits a can of turpentine in her rage. It slides across the floor and bangs into a pole. It smashes the can and the lid pops off.
Turpentine oozes onto the the linoleum.
EMILY
Run, Katie, run.
Katie waits, wants Emily to come with her.
EMILY
Get out of here, Katie.
Rachel charges at Emily. Emily knocks the gun from Rachel’s hand as she swings the tire iron once more.
The gun flies into one of the arrangements of candles and knocks them over.
The flame catches a spot of turpentine and creeps toward the more overturned candles. They catch on fire.
The women, consumed by emotion, ignore the flames.
Emily throws a punch and hits Rachel who is thrown backwards, but she comes recovers and speeds forward.
Picks up a canvas and smashes it against Emily. Hitting the ground hard, Emily is stunned for a moment and just manages to avoid another blow from Rachel.
She scoots out of the way. Rachel clawing at her. Emily avoids her and stands up. As Rachel comes near, Emily pushes an easel toward Rachel.
It clips her, but she is okay. She charges Emily, but Emily hides behind another easel and hurls the metal frame at Rachel.
It smashes into her knocking her down just as the fire spreads.
Turpentine cleaning cloths and canvas catch on fire from the spreading flames filling the barn with smoke.
The women cough. Somehow Rachel manages to stand up just as Emily gets a good blow in, and Rachel is knocked into the burning flames.
Her clothes catch on fire.
EMILY
Oh, myGod.
Emily moves to rescue Rachel. She looks around for something to douse the fire.
Runs to a cupboard marked “safety.” She pulls out a fire extinguisher.
She hears Rachel’s screams. Sees the flames engulf her.
She rushes over with the fire extinguisher. The flames lapping close to her. She sprays the life saving mist at Rachel, but she isn’t close enough to do any good.
She must move back or she will be engulfed.
EMILY
Why isn’t that sprinkler on?
She sprays again, but it’s too late. It’s either save a burning Rachel or herself.
She forlornly looks at Rachel.
EMILY
We could have been sisters.
Emily races from the burning barn.
EXT. BARN – NIGHT
SIRENS are heard blasting an eerie sound through the forest.
Emily runs up to Katie. She puts her arms around the little girl who is wiped out.
KATIE
I called the police and fire.
EMILY
Are you all right?
Katie puts on a brave face. She nods. Takes hold of Emily’s hand.
KATIE
Who was that lady?
EMILY
Someone I knew a along time ago.
INT. BARN – NIGHT
Suddenly the sprinkler system comes on. The water dampens the bellowing fire, but before it gobbles up the grotesque paintings.
The paintings spill onto the floor and the faces twist and turn as they are eaten by the flames.
EXT. BARN – NIGHT
Emily and Katie stand back as the FIRE FIGHTERS spray the barn with life-saving liquid.
EXT. WOODS – KERESZTES’ GRAVE – THE NEXT DAY
Two POLICEMAN remove Keresztes. They load him onto a dolly.
Check his pockets. Find an I.D.
Load him into an ambulance.
EXT. EMILY’S HOUSE – AT THE SAME TIME
The burnt barn smolders in the background.
INT. BARN STUDIO – DAY
AMBULANCE ATTENDANTS enter the barn pulling a dolly behind them.
They crawl through the debris. Poking and moving ashes aside. They come upon Rachel’s burnt body buried under one remaining grotesque family portrait.
The portrait hides her face, and most of her body is gone, burnt beyond recognition.
EXT. BARN STUDIO – LATER
Emily watches the Attendants load the remains of Rachel into the ambulance.
She is distracted when a police officer, SGT. MURPHY,35, approaches her.
SGT. MURPHY
Emily Green?
EMILY
Yes.
SGT. MURPHY
You witnessed this fire?
A pleading look crosses her face.
EMILY
I’ll come in tomorrow and give you a statement if it’s all right with you.
He looks at her for a moment.
POLICE DETECTIVE
Fine. Nine o’clock?
EXT. EMILY’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON
Emily’s SUV pulls up to the front door. She gets out of the car. Opens the trunk. Pulls out a wheel chair.
She rolls it to the passenger’s side. Opens the door.
Helping Eugene out, he painfully moves his body to get onto the chair.
He touches her hand when he sees the burned out barn.
A tear rolls down her cheek.
INT. EMILY’S HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Eugene and Emily and Ralphie enjoy a small supper. The flowers Rachel arranged previously are displayed prominently on the table.
Ralphie finishes gulping down his meal. He finishes with a bark and lays down on his bed. His gun shot wound in a bandage.
The couple laugh at their dog.
Eugene and Emily eat in silence, just enjoying each other’s company.
The front door bell RINGS.
They look at each other. Shake their heads. Ralphie admits a low growl.
INT. EMILY’S HOUSE – ENTRY – NIGHT
Emily answers the door. Standing on the porch is Agent Smith with Katie.
AGENT SMITH
Katie wants to start her new life with her mommy and daddy.
EXT. CEMETARY – A DAY LATER
Emily stands in front of her mother’s and Rachel’s graves.
Katie and Eugene watch in the background.
She places flowers on their sites. Turns and joins her family. They leave arm in arm. </font>

<font size=”4″>FADE OUT:</font>

<font size=”4″>THE END.
Rachel gives her a painting lesson her as emily and Rachel the untalented one.</font>

<font size=”4″>
Page 30 here
</font>

[Susan Silver]

Susan’s Amazing 3rd Act

What I learned doing this assignment is that even the areas that I have revised so often before this class can still be improved, and it’s so much easier to see the weaker spots when following the steps shown here.

1. Acts I and II show Kari becoming psychologically immersed in an emotionally abusive relationship that slowly drains her life of everything meaningful. John’s jealousy and manipulation blindside her, forcing her to doubt her natural proclivity to trust, as he follows the usual trajectory of abuse and destroys her friendships, isolates her, and hurls accusations at her until her integrity and self-concept are shaken to the core. Whiplashed, she struggles to make sense of her world, as he alternately supports and negates her life dreams. With a shredded heart, she now needs to make a decision of survival: she can save either John or herself, but not both.

2. Act III (current structural beats):

Plot point 2: The metaphorical decision of survival turns vivid, as a wildfire looms toward her animal sanctuary and home, threatening her livelihood and then her life.

Crisis: She is given the opportunity to save her animals and herself but decides to stay with John and ensure that he is safe from the fire.

Climax: Blowout occurs between Kari and John. In a twist John leaves Kari stranded to die in the fire.

Resolution: Kari is saved, but barely. John is waiting for her in the hospital room as she regains consciousness.

Final Page: Kari faces the choice again: herself or John.

3. My climax could
use the most work. Now she rather blithely makes the choice to put herself at
risk of the wildfire (once her animals are saved) to stay with John until he
leaves. I think it should be more of a conscious decision, with Andy (who offers
her a ride to safety) being much more insistent and her being much more
resistant. I think it will show how deep John’s tentacles have reached into her
and how oblivious she is to her own safety when John is in the picture. I think
that it will also show that she is not naturally passive and follows everyone’s
orders, but that it is the prolonged emotional abuse that has done her in.

[Althea McPhail]

Althea’s Elevated Ending Day 15

What I learned from this assignment is that the ending should be a culmination of all of the previous setups with resolutions that satisfy the viewer and clearly express the story meaning.

Bobbie, a Tae Kwon Do black belt and plant loving middle schooler is at odds with her widowed neurosurgeon and best selling author father Robert, who treats her like a little girl. Upset after one of their arguments, Bobbie cries and her tears bring a quirky, truth-telling sunflower to life. Bobbie’s godmother Pam is insistent on helping Robert find his next love and has been setting Robert up on dates. Bobbie’s nemesis Monaglenn has just joined her church and is a mean girl to Bobbie and Dee. Pam has included Monaglenn’s mother as a potential match.

Against the advice of the talking plant and her best friend Dee, Bobbie secretly creates a dating profile for her father, on a popular dating app and arranges dates, believing that she must keep her father away from Monaglenn’s mother and that a new love will keep her father’s attention and give her more independence.

Kendrick’s party and Robert’s local book signing are on the same night. Bobbie invites the dates to come to Robert’s book signing through the dating app. They all believe that the invitation is from Robert. Bobbie is grounded for fighting at church but goes to Kendrick’s party anyway. She dances and kisses Kendrick. With help from Marvin, her father’s assistant, she comes to the aid of an inebriated and homesick Monaglenn. After making sure Monaglenn gets home safely, Marvin and Bobbie go to Robert’s book signing.

INT HOTEL BOOK SIGNING – NIGHT

Bobbie walks in on an out and out brawl between the app dates. Some attendees are trying to stop the fight. Others film the commotion. Bobbie realizes that she is the creator of all the chaos, makes a public apology to everyone. As soon as she finishes there is an emergency call to her father and Adira from the hospital.

INT HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT

Robert meets Adira as he delivers her father’s medical report. Her father has had a stroke but will be fine and comments on what a nice couple the two of them make.

FLASHBACK TO SCENE

Adira shares good news about The One app making the national morning news shows. Robert and Adira both remember meeting each other previously.

INT GLADDEN HOME KITCHEN – NIGHT

Bobbie apologizes to Robert and shares about Al who is now dead and shedding seeds and leaves on the table. Robert tells Bobbie that her mother could hear plants too, commends her maturity in telling the truth and agrees to have open communication and accept that she is a young woman and growing up. Ends with hugs.

INT CHURCH YOUTH SUNDAY SCHOOL – DAY

Class practices sowing positive seed with their tongues. Monaglenn apologizes.

INT CHURCH WORSHIP AREA – DAY

MONTAGE OF SHOTS

Bobbie, Kendrick, Dee, Monaglenn and crew sit on the same row
Grandma Net sits with Adira’s father. Robert sits with Adira.

INT CHURCH PASTOR’S OFFICE- DAY

DeVonte’ is in serious conversation with the Pastor.

EXT PARK – DAY

Kendrick and Bobbie play at the park. Unseen, Evie and fully restored Al watch over them.

[Benito Selim]

Benito Selim’s Amazing 3^rd act

What I learned doing this assignment is the end is everything. A horrible ending despite who is in it or how well acted it is will leave a bad impression with the audience. I totally side with this as I feel I wasted my time watching a movie only for it to end bad.

The end wraps up everything and should be a great send off of your story and answer any questions the audience has.

1^st ACT

A huge protest take place against a construction company building a new housing community. Protesters are angry that construction is disturbing the natural habitat and causing animals (primarily reptiles to attack people.

Later the sites foreman is brutally killed by two alligators. The police are completely overwhelmed with the attacks and bring in the sheriff to assist.

Sisters Kayla and Lynette prepare to go visit their parents for spring break, Kayla has other plans to skip and go with her friends Megan and Candy to Key West, adding to their already strained relationship.

The Sheriff brings in assistance from a reptile Dr. named Aaron. Aaron discovers an unknown substance and takes a sample back to his lab.

Lynette informs Kayla the trip home has been cancelled. Kayla convinces Lynette to come along. Back at the university lab, Aaron tests the unknown substance discovered as a new environmentally safe paint. Upon running tests, he finds the paint makes reptiles aggressive and attack.

2^nd ACT

The girls make their way to Key West and take a detour in the Everglades. Park Ranger Paul does his rounds when he encounters the aggressive Alligators, he must act fast since they have entered the park.

The girls leave the park but become stranded deep in the everglades when they take a wrong turn, and their car breaks down. The Alligators find their way to the girls and stalk them as they try and escape from the everglades. The girls encounter the possibility of giant pythons.

Ranger Paul organizes his crew to track down the alligators but must be inconspicuous since his boss Hal will jump the gun and cause panic. Hal calls a meeting but needs to run an errand, unfortunately he encounters a family of Pythons (1,2,3 and 4) and killed.

The alligators catch up to the girls but are now joined by the pythons. Megan is killed in the process.

The Sheriff and Aaron arrive at the everglades to inform the rangers of their findings and join them in the hunt for the girls. The remaining girls fend off the alligators and pythons while managing to find shelter in a maintenance shack.

As the girls hold out for help Ranger Paul and Aaron locate them but become trapped as well. all of them ban together to fight for their lives.

3^rd ACT

EXT. MEGAN’S CAR- LATER

Ranger Banks and Dr. Lender arrive to Megan’s car. Banks finds her ID and calls it in, both men observe the area as it’s surrounded by water. Banks questions where they could have gone.

EXT. SWAMP TREE- LATER

The pythons have left but the alligators remain. Candy’s leg is severely infected, she decides to sacrifice it to the alligators so they can get away.

EXT. EVERGLADES PARK ENTRANCE- LATER

Ranger Banks and Dr. Lender meet back up with Sheriff Randal and Rangers Sims and Baker. Banks, Lender, and Baker meet with the two helicopter pilots with a rescue team and gather weapons and first aid, they begin to board one chopper while the other circles the entire area.

Randal and Sims agree to stay behind with law enforcement to keep guard of the entrance.

EXT. SWAMP TREE- LATER

The storm stops and the alligators fight over Candy’s leg as the girls jump into the water and swim towards the shore bank.

INT. HELICOPTER- LATER

Ranger Banks and Dr. Lender fly over the area where Megan’s car was found. It’s difficult to determine what direction the girls went.

EXT. SWAMP BANK- LATER

The girls make it out the water and look up in defeat to the helicopter as it zooms passed.

INT. SUPPLY SHACK- LATER

Kayla picks the lock to the shack and the girls take shelter. Inside they find blankets, first aid supplies and food. The girls rummage through everything. Outside Python 1 and 2 make their way towards the shack.

INT. HELICOPTER- CONTINUOUS

The search is turning up empty and they are ready to head back. Ranger Banks informs the pilot that there is a supply shack not too far from their location and they should check it out just encase.

EXT. EVERGLADES FRONT ENTERANCE- LATER

Ranger Banks informs Sheriff Dale and Ranger Baker they are making a stop but so far, no sign of the girls.

EXT. SUPPLY SHACK- LATER

Ranger Banks, Dr. Lender, and Ranger Sims exit the helicopter towards the shack. Python 1 slides into the helicopter and attacks the pilot. The helicopter goes haywire, the pilot is able to send an SOS. The helicopter proceeds to crash and explode killing the pilot.

Python 1 slithers out of the fire into the water.

INT. SUPPLY SHACK- CONTINUOUS

Kayla opens the door to a ball of fire, she is then met by Ranger Banks, Dr. Lender, and Ranger Sims. The girls are relieved until they learn of the crash.

INT. SUPPLY SHACK

Ranger Banks digs out an old ham radio in the shack, it doesn’t work, and the group is stranded. Banks informs them there is a solid road that leads to the shack, but they’ll have to walk which will take hours. The group plans to fight with all they got.

EXT. SUPPLY SHACK- LATER

The group attempts to escape but are ambushed by the alligators, Ranger Sims is killed by them as the group retreats into the shack.

INT. SUPPLY SHACK- CONTINUOUS

Python 2 bursts through the floor and is killed by Lynette. Alligator 1 and 2 rush into the shack as Dr. Lender gets the girls out.

EXT. SUPPLY SHACK- CONTINUOUS

The second helicopter arrives to rescue the group. Dr. Lender and the girls get in while Ranger Banks traps the alligators inside the shack.

INT. SUPPLY SHACK- CONTINUOUS

Ranger Banks sets up a booby trap by attaching flares to two propane tanks, he rolls them towards the alligators and runs out the shack. Alligator 2 bites onto one and the shack explodes.

INT. HELICOPTER- LATER

The helicopter begins to leave when Alligator 1 re-emerges and grips onto the helicopter, the helicopter jerks hard and send Candy into the propellers tearing her to shreds. Dr. Lender grabs a flare gun and fires at Alligator 1, it kills it.

The helicopter flies off.

EXT. EVERGLADES FRONT ENTRANCE- EVENING

The helicopter lands and the group exits in relief. Python 1 was hiding under the helicopter and re-emerges. Python 1 attempts to attack the sisters but is killed by all the law enforcement on site.

SUPER: ONE MONTH LATER

INT. UNIVERSITY SCIENCE LAB- DAY

Dr. Lender presents the carcass of Python 1 to his class, he informs them they will examine the organs next class.

INT. LAB ROOM- LATER

Janet, Dr. Lender’s assistant dissects Python 1 and discovers hatched alligator eggs inside. Two baby alligators emerge and attack to Janet.

CUT TO BLACK

THE END