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Day 15 Assignments
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6 Replies
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Ron’s Act 2 Middle Scenes
What I learned writing this lesson: I feel like I’m not following the “script” as defined by the lesson plan, like I’m a little lost. I think the point of this lesson was to demonstrate the protagonist, stuck in their Old Ways, trying to adjust to new circumstances, and failing. This piece below doesn’t “quite” fit that bill, and I think I’m going to need to rewrite it extensively to get the results I want. But this is as far as I got so far.
I imagine this is the “secret” of good script writing, it’s not obvious, and I can see that once I’ve mastered this part of it, my writing will improve. But here we are.
EXT – ON WATER – NIGHT
Pitch black again. We join the 129 as Cuccinelli is throttling up to go in for an attack, having alerted another captain of the fact that he’s got 2 targets on radar and needs some help. Of course, this breaks the “radio silence” rule imposed by the Commander.
Cuccinelli: battle stations, everybody! Get those 50 cals manned and ready. We’ve got about 4 minutes!
general confirmation by boat crew
Cuccinelli guides his boat to the release point, and orders #1 and #3 launched. #1 releases fine but #3 is a “hot run”. The props are spinning, meaning that after 5000 revolutions the warhead will be armed. The props have to be stopped or the torpedo will detonate right on the boat!
Delaney: “skipper, got a hot run here!”
Lewis runs over with a rag, gets it tangled up in the propellers, gets them stopped. The men are now “half-pregnant”, got a not-quite armed torpedo still in the tube. But the attack must proceed.
Cuccinelli changes heading to accommodate the new track of the destroyer, knows he has a short window of time -seconds really – to get #2 and #4 launched. He proceeds to do so, but the torpedoes either run wild or otherwise miss their target. Now the 129 is a gunboat, without the means to threaten the destroyer in any significant way. Cuccinelli withdraws.
EXT – ON WATER – NIGHT
Keresey shows up on the 122. All we can really see is the other destroyer jinking in the dark, trailing photoluminesce in its wake and another figure, smaller, darting about in the dark, exchanging gunfire with the other destroyer. This goes on for 9 or 10 minutes, but in the end the destroyer isn’t hit by a torpedo from the other PT. We do see small explosions on the PT, which starts taking fire at a nasty clip. The other PT withdraws, no harm done to either destroyer.
EXT – ON WATER – DAYBREAK
Two boats come together in a lagoon, just as the night darkness is fading. The 122 has taken some hits, all torpedoes gone, quite a few bulletholes, the radio’s out. One crewman dead, another wounded. Not a good night.
They’ll have to get back to base together.
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Gerry Cousins – ACT I TP – Midpoint (stage play) / (screenplay – ACT 2) (This is Scene 5 in ACT I of my play, which has already been submitted.)
What I learned from this assignment: This was a subtle change, but a change nevertheless. While the journey is more or less the same, it ups the stakes for the Protagonist on a personal level (and in my case caused a change in the last scene of the play).
JENNA suggested they research the Marfa Mystery Lights for the Protagonist in their play. At this point, SHE realizes visiting the Lights is as much for herself as it is for MOLLY –and JENNA now looks forward to it.
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Carol Dougherty’s Act 2 TP – Midpoint
What I learned doing this assignment: At first, I questioned whether or not this truly was the midpoint, because it is a scene between Pen and Terry. But the definition of the midpoint as changing the meaning of the journey convinced me I was right. This is the first time since childhood Pen has had to move forward without Terry at her back.
Outline:
INT. TERRY’S KITCHEN – LATE NIGHT
BEGINNING: Pen comes over for a late night supper.
MIDDLE: She is worried because he doesn’t look well, they bicker back and forth as they often do.
END: Terry suffers a heart attack
INT. AMBULANCE – LATE NIGHT
BEGINNING: Terry and Pen are both in the ambulance, he is hooked up to oxygen and an IV.
MIDDLE: Pen and Terry look at each other as the EMT checks Terry’s vitals, makes notes, checks IV. Pen remembers Terry through the years.
END: Terry dies.
Midpoint Scene(s):
INT. TERRY’S KITCHEN – LATE NIGHT
Terry stands looking into the refrigerator, seemingly lost in thought. The back door opens, and he closes the door and turns to see Pen enter.
Pen saw Terry half an hour ago after the show but seeing him at home without makeup she is shocked by how drawn he looks.
PEN
Sebastian and Katie made a brief stop at his office. They’ll be here shortly.
(continues staring at him)
TERRY
Stop examining me brat.
PEN
Are you sure you’re up to an after-theatre supper tonight? It’s already late.
TERRY
(stirs the chowder on stove with a wooden spoon)
Of course I am. That doesn’t mean I won’t make you work. You can put that bread in the oven to warm up.
Pen follows his directions. Ben and Trixie sprawl out of the way and watch them.
PEN
Molly told me Sam’s buyer for the farm is willing to let us stay for now.
TERRY
That’s good news.
PEN
The lawyer told her they’d give us at least three month’s notice, and that we wouldn’t need to go before the end of the season.
Pen starts to set the table while Terry tastes and seasons the chowder.
TERRY
Are you and Sam talking again? When is he coming back?
PEN
He isn’t.
Terry turns but Pen keeps her back to him.
TERRY
Pen?
PEN
I ended it with him the day after the racetrack debacle. His wife wasn’t – well, I simply couldn’t continue, that’s all.
TERRY
Have you told Kate?
Pen gets butter out and puts it on a plate on the table.
PEN
Of course not. If I hadn’t told you, I wouldn’t tell her.
TERRY
Why not?
PEN
I tell you everything, Terry.
TERRY
No, I mean why haven’t you told her?
Pen keeps her back to him while she searches for a butter knife.
PEN
Why should I?
There is no response. The wooden spoon clatters to the floor, Ben and Trixie’s nails scrabble on the tile as they leap to their feet, whining. Pen turns to find Terry half-collapsed against the counter, his face gray and covered in sweat. His right hand clutches his chest, and his breath comes in gasps.
Pen puts her arm around him and helps him stagger to a chair. Once he is seated, she pulls out her phone and calls 911.
INT. AMBULANCE – LATE NIGHT
Terry is lying in the ambulance, hooked up to oxygen an oxygen mask that covers his nose and mouth, and an IV in his arm.
The EMT checks his vitals, makes notes, checks the oxygen and IV and as soon as he finishes he goes through the procedures again.
Pen sits at the side, close, but out of the way of the EMT. She holds Terry’s free hand, which is clammy but grips hers hard, and her eyes never leave his. It’s as if his spirit is undaunted by the controlled chaos that keeps him immobile.
She doesn’t see the man before her in his eyes, she sees the self-possessed young boy in the classroom introducing himself saying, “I’m an actor.” She sees the brave resignation of the boy who returns to the bullying and abuse of his classmates in boarding school. And she sees the speechless suffering of the young man who held the dead body of a beloved sister, who killed herself because she could see no other way.
Terry’s eyes cloud up, his hand grows lax in Pen’s, and the EMT worked over him with increased intensity.
Pen kept her eyes fixed on Terry’s in the hope that her fierce attention will keep him alive. She fails.
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What I learned doing this assignment is focusing on my mid-point. My character is learning how to deal with an antagonist that refuses to leave her household, unlike the others in her past relationships. Now she’s forced to acknowledge the mistake she made in the process.
Scene 4 Outline – The Midpoint
Beginning: Tina confronts Barry in person as to why he lied about working at the elementary school and says she still wants him to move out. He stares at images on his cell phone as she rants.
Middle: Barry says he just paid her landlord six months of rent in advance and he’s not going anywhere.
End: Tina asks how he can afford to pay her rent upfront for the next six months and what does he really do for a living. Barry hits her. She now knows that she made a big mistake getting involved with Barry and getting rid of him will be more challenging in comparison to her past relationships.
Written scene:
INT. TINA’S APARTMENT – LATER
Tina rushes into the living room and sees Barry on the couch staring at his cell phone.
TINA: Thanks for hanging up on me. What, you didn’t think I’d come here? I took the day off to make sure you’re moving out. Then I’m asking the landlord to change the locks. I want you out now.
BARRY: I just saw the landlord.
TINA: For what?!
BARRY: Paid the rent for the next six months. She’s a nice lady.
TINA: You what?
Barry, aloof, stays focused on his cell phone.
TINA: If you’re not working at the elementary school then how were you able to pay the rent for the next 6 months? What the hell do you really do?!
Barry still ignores her. Tina rushes to him and tries to grab his cell phone. He strikes her across the face causing her to fall to the floor.
Barry: I live here. If I want to pay the rent six months in advance, I’ll pay the rent six months in advance. Gonna get those shoes Jayla wanted. Have that spaghetti you make ready when I get back.
Barry grabs his keys and leaves. Tina, in shock and disbelief, cries.
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M.M.’S ACT II TP – MIDPOINT
What I learned doing this assignment is to turn the story around by keeping the character on the same journey but with a different meaning.
EXT. DORM BUILDING – NIGHT
Luke drops Bella off and kisses her on the cheek. In the shadows near the steps, Emilio watches jealously and waits till Luke drives away. When Bella walks up the steps to the building, Emilio surprises her. He hands her a bouquet of flowers.
She is overwhelmed by the gesture. She smells the flowers longer than usual waiting for him to speak first.
Emilio apologizes to her for blowing up and blaming her. She continues to smell the flowers, ignoring what he says and then thanking him for the flowers and reaching for the door.
He puts his hand on hers and asks her to go with him to have a burger. She agrees.
EXT. BURGER DRIVE IN – NIGHT
Emilio and Bella munch on burgers, fries and malts in his expensive convertible with the top down, of course. Several girls in a car drive by and wave to him. He starts to wave to them, but instead takes Bella’s hand and kisses it chivalrously. He pushes the remote to put the convertible top back on. It’s much more intimate in the small car.
He turns to her and being serious for the first time. At first he fumbles over his words. “I can’t explain it but I am drawn to you. You’re a mystery .” She says with a sly grin, “But you knew me in Puerto Rico.” He nods slowly. “My bad for not recognizing you right away. I knew your name was familiar but — well, that’s water under the bridge, isn’t it? Can we start again?”
Bella motions to the other girls in the car that parked nearby. The girls are focusing on Emilio. “What about them?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. They’re nothing. I don’t even know who they are.”
She says, “If this were to work — and that’s a BIG IF — I need the truth from you. Jealousy isn’t in my nature, and I don’t need details but I do want the truth.”
He nods, “I went out with the redhead once – only once.”
She said, “Don’t tell me anything else. But what about Mia?”
Emilio looks surprised. “Mia? What about Mia?”
Bella asks, “She said she’s been seeing you. Are you? You know she’s Luke’s girlfriend? At least supposed to be.”
Emilio said, “Actually I didn’t. We studied once – you know that. She called me several times. A pest really. She just talks about shopping and herself. I never called her back. She’d probably like to go out again, but she’s boring. I think she got the message – gives me the cold shoulder in class. But you. Bella, you’re —– different.”
Bella looks at him questioningly.
Emilio adds quickly, “In a good way. In a very good way. I want to know more about you. Give me a chance to show you what a good boyfriend I can be? How great I can be to you? I guess what I’m saying is will you be my girlfriend?”
Bella asks, “Exclusive?”
Emilio nods. “Absolutely.”
Bella offers her hand again to him. As he kisses it slowly, she adds, “I’m a virgin and will stay that way till marriage.”
His lips lift slightly off her hand and then he kisses it again. “Understood.”
Same journey: Bella has played hard to get for a relationship with Emilio all the way to marriage.
Different meaning: Now he’s chasing her and will have to prove himself to her, rather than the other way around.
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Angelina Fluehler – Act 2 TP – Midpoint
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” Following the concept, cleaning up, I introduced a couple of dialogs, but not all unfortunately due to lacking of time.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Angelina Fluehler.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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